03/05/2024

I was watching some kind of VR game/movie thing, which was based on the cartoon Bounty Hamster. The protagonist, Cassie, had fallen into a coma and woken up as an animated skeleton 100 years later. The entire plot was Cassie viewing the logs from the eponymous Bounty Hamster where he spends his whole life waiting for her to wake up. It was absurdly depressing and Cassie then became an alcoholic despite being a) a skeleton and b) mentally still 13 years old.

Incidentally, I think this is the most anyone has thought about the British sci-fi cartoon Bounty Hamster since 2003.

29/4/2024

My parents were away, so they asked me to check in on and spend some time with my elderly aunt who has dementia. After I left her bungalow I remembered that a friend of mine from University had moved in nearby and so I went to visit him. He had a bunch of people over, and they were all in his garden petting the vast amount of dogs he had there. Since there were so many people he decided to let his pet hippopotamus out to see everyone as well. I quickly but surreptitiously made my exit, because hippos are terrifying and I am deeply troubled by them.

22/4/2024

I was playing a video game that was a competitive card game style thing. The tutorial stage of it was playing against a talking Brachiosaurus who would mock you when you made a bad play.

16/4/2024

Went on holiday with three of my friends for the weekend to the coast, only to find out when we got there that aliens had taken it over and it was deserted except for some creepy looking kids. We stayed anyway because we'd paid for the hotel and figured we weren't getting a refund. I ended up eating way too many ice creams.

25/3/2024

Bit late posting this one, but I had a nap earlier and had a dream where I was speaking to a man named Mr Boringhouse. That's all I remember. He had a black beard and was dressed kind of like a Victorian gent, but that's as much as I recall.

Probably inspired by a conversation I had yesterday with @phoebonica about blood groups and blood transfusions in the Victorian era, though that doesn't explain why he was called Mr Boringhouse.

16/3/2024

Me and the three spider-girls from Madame Web (a movie I have no intention of seeing, even ironically) were in the Welsh mountains trying to escape from a group of soldiers coming to arrest us. We were saved when a giant teleporting bear came running down the mountains towards us, though we then had to escape from the giant teleporting bear instead.

Eventually we made it back to my house and I was looking out the window to see if the bear had followed us. After several false alarms I criticised the writer of this movie I was apparently in for dragging it out, until the bear rematerialised outside my garden gate. All the teleporting had tired it out and it was incredibly thin.

Concept: Colour Your Own Adventure, a Choose Your Own Adventure-style book combined with a colouring book. You colour in the illustrations in the book as you reach them, then go to the page that represents the colour you chose to colour things.

Example: Your protagonist comes face to face with a fearsome dragon! Colour the dragon red, blue, green, or black.

If you chose red, turn to page 42, etc

Then if you turn to page 42 the red dragon breathes fire on you or something so you needed to have coloured your shield in blue to give it heat protection. Downside to this of course being that you could only really play it once, but the same is true of every colouring book.

1/3/2024

I was watching an episode of Only Fools and Horses in which Rodney gained the ability to fly. He wanted to use this power to fight crime, which Del was OK with as long as he didn't stop any of the criminals who supplied his business. It ended with Rodney being the mascot for a supermarket Del had invested in instead. And no, he wasn't wearing the Robin costume from that one real episode; for some reason he was wearing the costume from The Greatest American Hero.

I don't know why I'm having dreams about old British sitcoms lately, but there was also one I had years ago where I was playing a game of Civilization V and a new civ spawned in the game that I'd never seen before. After following the Scout back to their capital I discovered that it was ruled by Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances.

22/2/2024

Netflix were showing an all-female American remake of Red Dwarf.

Lister was played by Natasha Lyonne.

Don't forget, today is the day St. Pancake comes to your home and throws all your eggs, milk, and flour around the kitchen. Make sure you use them all up before he arrives, or try and scare him off by making a lot of loud noise, wearing a brightly coloured costume and flashing your boobs.

11/2/2024

A friend and I had to write an essay for school entitled "The Best Book in the World" (For context, both him and me have left high school and been through University already, as is tradition in these dreams). We ended up finding a graphic novel called "The Best Meal in the World" which was about an anthropomorphic bear training to become a chef and make the eponymous Best Meal to impress his teacher. The book was awful, and that led us on a deep rabbit hole of just reading the worst books we could find, which were all graphic novels for some reason. Some highlights (lowlights?) included:

A book about a magician being investigated for animal abuse because of his signature trick where he juggles frogs,

A romance comic about two typical middle-aged football fans called, like, Gary and Barry, who realise they're gay and in love. It might have been touching, except it was a photocomic and all the photos had clearly been taken on someone's phone in the middle of an actual football game.

Something about a mouse working as a maid and struggling to perform her duties because she was a mouse and only a few inches high. She just complained all the time though, which did not make her endearing as a character.

My parents being shown around an old manor house which had been preserved as a museum. No plot, just a graphic novel which was a museum tour and starred my parents for some reason.

02/02/2024

I was buying boxes of Digimon in bulk at some kind of big-box supermarket (unspecified chain, but what I imagine Costco looks like on the inside). It was quite busy, and I accidentally bumped into a guy who got very angry at me. He started getting belligerent, so I told him he needed to calm down and he asked if that was a threat. A little dialogue box popped up with some options:

Would you like it to be?

It is a statement of fact.

We cannot go outside.

I selected option three, which he seemed to take as me asking if he wanted to 'take things outside'. When we tried to leave we discovered we had lost sight of the exit and had no idea how to leave, so we put aside our differences and became good friends as we tried to escape the building with our wives (I was married in this dream, but am not IRL)

28/1/2024

The Doctor (Doctor Who) got in a fight with Hela (MCU). He caught Mjolnir in mid-air (which Hela had for some reason) but it was still ambiguous if he was worthy to wield it because he was a Time Lord and so the Odin magic didn't apply to him. It was then revealed that the Doctor's real name is simply 'Kit'.

23/1/2024

I was taking a ride in a new amphibious coach, which would do a stunt mid-way through the journey by driving up a ramp that happened to be there in the middle of the motorway, jumping over a large hedge and drop into the river hidden on the other side whereupon it would sail the rest of the trip. Unfortunately, the driver didn't pick up enough speed for the jump so we landed on the hedge and bounced back onto the road instead. The surprise was ruined (I knew about the river being on the other side but most people on the coach didn't) and the driver had to loop around the motorways for 15 minutes so he could get another run at it.

15/1/2024

I was back in university and the professor gave us an assignment which was to complete a scenario he'd designed in Empire Earth, which had a time limit of one hour. I tried to play it properly but frankly it was really boring and poorly made, and relied too much on luck to complete within the time limit. I got someone else to do it for me, and I instead ate two Cornish Pasties.

14/1/2024

My sister announced she was getting married, but when we went to the wedding we discovered that her husband was not actually her real life, waking world boyfriend but instead a random guy we'd never met before. I tried to be friendly with him and his two friends but they were just huge dicks back at me. When I tried to tell my sister that her fiancé was a tool, she told me to mind my own business.

Turns out that the four of them had fallen under an evil curse and the marriage was part of a ritual to undo it. But because I had interfered, the witch who cursed them from beyond the grave came back to curse them again so we had to run. They they explained the curse to me by giving me a pamphlet with all the info, which was very handy.