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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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My father will hear about this!

paring(s); Draco Malfoy x reader. Harry Potter x reader.

@mintsugarmy

"Oi! Filthy mud blood, my father will hear of your insolence." The blonde boy who had been tormenting you since you were 11 spits bitterly.

You only roll your eyes as you continue your conversation with your friends.

Draco snarls at your attempt in ignoring him.

"You will hear me (L/N)."

"Bloody hell, what did you do to piss him off." Ron manages to say in between his chewing. Honestly it was quite impressive how he could talk with his mouth full of food.

"I rejected him." You reply simply

The three of your friends all turn to look at you, shock across all their faces.

"He asked you out?" Harry asks. His voice wavering slightly.

"He did, but I wasn't interested."

"Bloody hell, good one Y/n. Everyone knows you can do better anyway"

"I know," you find your eyes drifting to the black haired boy sitting in front of you, who was staring back.

#draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #x reader #fanfic #harry potter #wizarding world #wizarding world x reader

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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please consider helping this person out, they are a really good friend of mine.

#harry potter #harry james potter #tom riddle #harry potter x reader #newt scamander #ron #slytherin #the marauders #draco malfoy #voldemort

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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ok but imagine being the only person Tom Riddle ever loved

#tom riddle #harry potter #harry potter x reader #tom riddle x reader

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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Incorrect quotes

Part 3, bit shorter today I’m afraid.

______

James : How did none of you hear what I just said?

Sirius : I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Remus : I got distracted about halfway through.

Peter : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

———-

Tom riddle : Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Y/n: Oh, you’ve been?

Tom riddle : Once. In Monopoly.

———

Tom riddle : I can explain.

Y/n: Can you?

Tom riddle : If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

____

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Jacob please come to the front desk?

Jacob , arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Newt and Y/n

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Newt and Y/n , simultaneously: We got lost :(

Jacob : I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

———

Jacob , driving Newt and Y/n : So how was your day?

Newt : We almost got surprise adopted!

Jacob : What?

Y/n : We almost got kidnapped.

Jacob : Oh, okay.

Jacob : *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

———

*Hermione 's helping Harry out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Ron : How does Harry look?

Y/n : A little better than you, actually.

———

Hermione : I think Y/n was right.

Harry : I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Ron : They wouldn't do that.

Y/n : You're right, Ron . For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Y/n : *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Y/n Told You So' on the back*

———

Draco : Blaise , I'm sad.

Blaise : *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Pansy : Y/n , I'm sad.

Y/n , nodding: mood.

———

Draco : Y/n and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Y/n: Sentences.

Draco : Don't interrupt me!

———

Mcgonagall: Favorite horror movie?

Dumbledore: It

Snape : Saw

Y/n : Annabelle

Pomfrey : High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

———

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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Ok but real talk.

Merope is and always will be a selfish bitch.

If she knew about love potions and everything that comes with them then she’d know that her child would be born with no capability to feel love or happiness.

Also she’s a rapist and really thought baby trapping Sr was the way to go to get his full love and affection when he isn’t even aware of her existence.

I hate this woman, and to be honest, if she wasn’t so selfish she could’ve saved so many people

#merope gaunt #Tom riddle #Voldemort #tom riddle sr #Tom riddle jr #harry potter

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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Incorrect Quotes

part two

Luna: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Neville: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Ginny: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Neville, learn to listen.

Harry: What if it bites itself and I die?

Ron: That’s voodoo.

Hermione: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Neville: That’s correlation, not causation.

Harry: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Ron: That’s kinky.

Luna: Oh my God.

-----

Harry: Truth or dare?

Ron: Dare

Harry: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Ron: Hey Hermione

Hermione, blushing: Yeah?

Ron: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Y/n.

-----

Newt: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Theseus : It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Newt: Three of us saw it, Theseus . How do you explain that?

Theseus : points at Jacob* Sleep deprivation. points at Credence Paranoia. points at Y/n* Delusional personality disorder.

(lol we are Orla)

-----

Theseus: Are we really going to let Newt keep Jacob?

Credence: We kept Y/n.

-----

Tom/Voldemort: Mattheo…

Mattheo: Oh no, 'Mattheo' in b-flat.

Mattheo: You're disappointed.

-----

Tom/Voldemort: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Mattheo: How can you still say that?

Tom/Voldemort: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

-----

Voldemort: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Y/n: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Voldemort: Death is a social construct.

-----

Voldemort: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make

-----

Lockhart: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying

------

Harry: What’s something you guys are better than Draco at?

Hermione: Mario Kart.

Ron: Yeah, video games.

Y/n: Emotional vulnerability.

-----

Dumbledore: What time is it?

Grindlewald: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Grindlewald: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Aberforth: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Grindlewald: It’s 2 am

-----

Tina: Care for another sundae, weenie?

Queenie: I am not a weenie!

Y/n: Relax, you’re among friends. raises their drink

Queenie: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s.

Newt: You tell ‘em, Queenie! sips their drink

Queenie: Newt, what’re you doing here?

Newt: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

-----

Neville: We need to distract these guys

Fred and George: Leave it to us

Fred and George: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Seamus, Mattheo, and Harry: Immediately begin arguing

Ron, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

-----

Lucius, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?

Snape: You did WHAT–

Voldemort: William Snakepeare

-----

Newt, whispering to Theseus , who’s on the phone with Y/n: Ask them something!

Theseus : How are you feeling?

Y/n: Fine.

Newt: Something personal!

Theseus : At what age did you first get your period?

-----

Narcissa: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Bellatrix: turning to Andromeda How tall are you?

-----

Narcissa: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Bellatrix: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Andromeda: In that case, we're definitely lost.

-----

Narcissa: Screams

Bellatrix: Screams louder to establish dominance

Andromeda: Should we do something?

Y/n: No, I want to see who wins.

-----

Narcissa: Dammit, Bellatrix!

Bellatrix: What?! It wasn’t me!

Narcissa: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Andromeda!

Andromeda: Not me either.

Narcissa: Oh…Then who set the house on fire?

Y/n: whistles

-----

Voldemort: Wake me up…

Snape: Before you go go!

Lucius: When September ends…

death eaters: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

-----

Newt is cooking

Theseus : Any chance that’s for me?

Newt: It’s for Y/n. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.

Jacob: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

-----

Newt: Why are your tongues purple?

Theseus: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Y/n: I had a red one.

Jacob: oh

Jacob:

Jacob: OH

Newt :

Newt: You drank each other's slushies?

-----

Y/n: Tom Riddle, my old arch enemy.

Harry: … I thought I was your arch enemy?

Y/n: I have a life outside of you, Harry.

-----

James: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Remus: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Peter : I recorded the dumb stuff.

Sirius : I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Y/n: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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Incorrect Quotes

just a quick little idea @mintsugarmy

---- *about to marry Lucius* Narcissa: Is this a good idea?

Andromida: Probably not.

Narcissa: Do I care?

Andromida and Bellatrix: No. but you certainly should.

-----

Sirius ready to kill Peter*

Remus: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

-----

Harry, looking at his watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted.

Also Harry: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been assaulted, but let’s not talk about that.

------

out grocery shopping Hermione: takes a free sample twice

Also Hermione: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

-----

Ron: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!

-----

Filch: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

-----

Ron when he and Harry crashed into the womping willow: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-----

Mattheo, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

-----

Golden trio: I don’t always go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first.

-----

Tom Riddle: trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark

Tom Riddle: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?"

Associate: Well, I-

Tom Riddle: How about "You banged my mom?"

Associate: No…

Tom Riddle: How about, I don't care for your filthy muggle holidays but here's a card anyways?

Associate:....

Tom Riddle: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.

Tom Riddle: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

----

Buckbeak: Caw caw, motherfuckers.

-----

Fred and George: If history repeats itself, I’m so getting a dinosaur!

-----

James: Yo is Peter sleeping or dead?

Sirius: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Remus: Yeah, so did I.

Peter: Okay first of all, fuck you-

-----

Professor McGonigal: Can I be frank with you guys?

Hermione: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Ron: Can I still be Ron?

Harry: Shh, let Frank speak.

-----

Newt and Theseus sitting in jail together

Theseus : So who should we call?

Newt: I’d call Y/n, but I feel safer in jail.

-----

Newt: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Theseus : You were flirting with Y/n.

Newt: So what? They're my partner.

Theseus : You asked them if they were single.

Newt:

Theseus : And then you cried when they said they weren't.

-----

Credence: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Credence: Absolutely not.

-----

Jacob: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Y/n: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Jacob: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING NEWT WITH ME

Theseus , picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

-----

Snape: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

James: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Peter: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Sirius: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Remus: My moral code, is that you?

Snape:

Snape: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

-----

Tina: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Queenie: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Y/n isn’t

-----

Tom Riddle: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Harry Potter: I think you mean cards.

Tom Riddle, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

-----

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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No need to be scared my darling // A.S.P

warnings; reader is a pureblooded Slytherin. also this was entirely written just because I needed to indulge myself.

summary; Albus is fearful of being in Slytherin but mama is there to make him a little less scared

Kings cross was loud, louder then you remembered. You supposed that was because it had been awhile since you had been there. You certainly counted a month and a half ago when you went to pick up James for the summer as awhile.

People were rushing past, eager to get on with their day to day lives. Most of the people in your eyesight were muggles, yet you still managed to catch sight of some students with the Hogwarts crest on their cases.

"Are you ready son?" Harry, your husband asks as you stop by the entrance of platform 9 and 3 quarters.

"As ill ever be," He whispered, it was loud enough for the two of you to hear, just barely though.

"ok so run straight at the wall, that will get you to the platform. Y/n, maybe you and James should show him first." Harry suggested, holding onto little Lily-Luna's hand.

James took no time in running straight through the wall. Leaving Albus amazed. His mother soon following behind him.

"Dad, James said it hurts, was he lying?" Albus's young sister calls out fearfully.

"Don't worry my princess, your brother is telling fibs,"

"promise?"

"I promise"

Albus stares at the red brick wall, still uncertain.

"C'mon Al, we will run together"

Harry places his hand on Albus's trolley with all his luggage and counts to three before shooting forward at the wall.

Albus closes his eyes, in fear of hitting the wall.

A few seconds later his sister's amazed 'wow' was what got him to open his eyes.

Just like before people were still busting about on the platform, waving and seeing their children off. Some people were even crying, knowing they wouldn't see their kids again until Christmas or perhaps even the following summer potentially.

"Lily why don't you go say good bye to James," Y/n said noticing the look in her sons eyes. Recognizing it from when he was a little thing who would always look over to the darkest corner of his room in fear. scared of all the evilest creatures coming to get him.

It certainly didn't help that James liked to wind his brother up.

"No need to fear little one. I am always here for you, remember we got you an owl for a reason, I expect at least one letter every week." his mother jokes and he smiles, a little.

"What am I gonna do if I'm not in Gryffindor? I'll be the first potter to be a failure, a non Gryffindor" He shakes his head at the thought.

"you know I always wondered why your father wanted to name you after Snape, he was one of the greatest headmasters Hogwarts had seen and he was a Slytherin. a true talent. Baby, if you're meant to be in Slytherin, then you're meant to be there, and if you are I have no doubt you will do some great things." you smiled as Albus hugged you before hurrying to catch his train before it left.

"oh and Albus my darling," he turns at your voice, waiting for what you had to say.

"Who ever said you'd be the first Potter to be in Slytherin house," the words were vague but he seemed to understand, you certainly notice his eyes widen.

"Have a good school year my darling and you tell me if James cause you any trouble alright my love?" Albus nods with a big smile on his face as he rushes to find a place to sit on the train.

You come to stand by your friend, Mara Malfoy, who was waving her son off as well. Harry and Mara's husband Draco came to join you both soon after. Both also watching their sons take their first steps into their journeys of becoming great wizards.

#slytherin aesthetic #albus severus potter #harry potter x reader #dad harry potter #mom reader #harry james potter #harry potter #hogwarts #wizarding world x reader #wizarding world #mara malfoy

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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Slytherin’s Princess, their true heir.

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the-most-sane-hp-fan · 1 year

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Hello everyone, i have been getting back into Harry potter after a long long time so requests are open for anything

#harry potter #harry james potter #harry potter x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #luscious malfoy #slytherin #slytherin aesthetic #slytherin common room #slytherin moodboard #hermione x reader #ron weasly x reader

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