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crepesuzette2023 · 5 months

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Hi! Because someone just asked me, I'd love you hear your Top 5 favourite McLennon fics!

You made my day! Nothing could have made me happier than this ask.

I'm not going to evade your question. I will post my top-five, even though it hurts to choose. But you inspired me to finally write a longer (okay: very long) post about some (not nearly all!) of my favorites, which will be under the cut.

(Sorry for not knowing every writer's tumblr, by the way. Please feel free to let me know, so I can tag authors where appropriate. Thank you!)

My Top 5:

MIRACLE WORKER by @scurator. What can I say. Every time I need my heart broken and to feel an inkling of what grace truly means, I go to this masterpiece about Paul and Robert Fraser finding each other again at Cavendish in 1981.

COAST STARLIGHT by bookofapril is "Miracle Worker's" cosmic twin. The sun to its night. Paul and Robert Fraser on Fire Island in 1974. Nothing I can say will do it justice, so I won't try. This is the "other world" conjured in "Tug of War," so powerfully and joyfully imagined, it's real. (I'm always thinking of this story, but I did so extra hard when I came across a prompt recently: 'They aren't each other's first love, but they're each other's true love'.)

SAME AS IT EVER WAS by RedheadAmongWolves. My favorite Outsider's POV. An ageing newsstand owner from Liverpool remembers John and Paul as boys and young men. There's something magical about the relationship coming alive in these glimpses. A story filled with tenderness that reminds me to always look closely.

AN ORGASM OF SOUND by @pauls1967moustache. The insanity of John and Paul in 1967 got the tribute it deserves. I sleep easier since I read this story. It feels cosmically right that it exists.

PLANT A SEED by @eveepe. Paul in his slutty sailor outfit in Miami. He and John are into each other, and happy, and fuck slowly. Afterwards, Paul has an idea for a new song. That's it. Tender, glorious, hot perfection. Apply at least once a week for best results.

For more thoughts about some of my favorite stories, sorted into very much defined-ad-hoc categories, read under the cut.

Young Love:

I love the myth of their first meeting, and stories that speculate about the sexually loaded creative fireworks/gritty jealousies/tentative hand-holding/topping and tailing during the first years. Here are some faves:

Paul finds music, and John, and his life is changing. In STREETS OF OUR TOWN (@with-eyes-closed) you can taste the upheaval and promise of first love and growing up. Deeply sensual, even without on-page sex. The shaky, sweet, and all-consuming fire of John and Paul’s first kiss is immortalized in ALL I KNOW SINCE YESTERDAY (RedheadAmongWolves). In NON NOBIS SOLUM (@downtothe-lastdrop), art student John simply has to know how far grammar school boy Paul will go to please him. But Paul matches him play-by-play. In THE CAST IRON SHORE (@m1ssunderstanding) Paul earns extra money through music and sex. John finds out. They fall in love, and hide their mutual pining behind transactions—but in the end, they man up to pair up, and get their band back on track. (The first part is finished; I can’t wait for part 2.) John and Paul’s ’61 trip to Paris has been honored in fiction many times; WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHING (@lilypadd23) is a slow-burning, blessedly long story that blossoms sweetly. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT is the concept by which Paul measures both his pining for John and their deeply satisfying (but surely not really queer?!) sex life. Perfectly realized Paul POV by @merseydreams. Finally: I NEED YOU DARLIN’ (verse) (by @beatlessideblog) would have fit many categories, but I put it here, because in the end, it’s about young John and Paul becoming friends, making music, having sex, and falling in love. No more, no less. Embedded in a late 50’s/early 60's Liverpool omegaverse in which there's a place for their bond. But, surprise (?!): It’s still complicated. I can’t overstate how charming and satisfying and funny and hot this work is.

Old John and Paul:

Is there anything as lovely as imagining John and Paul growing old together?

In HERE TODAY (@herspecialagent), John and Paul found happiness with each other in Scotland. On 8th December 1980, they invite friends for a party, and fight an inexplicable sense of doom. A reminder that our other lives can be closer than we think, and to keep our loved ones even closer.

GROW OLD WITH ME (@inherownwr1te): Old farmers and husbands John and Paul enjoy domestic bliss, deal with a broken arm, and make sweet love.

HAVING COFFEE (@feathersandblue): John Lennon and Paul McCartney, “one of the most iconic gay couples in history,” look back on their early love, the Beatles, and being outed in the 80’s, in this oh-so-glamourous, well-written 2020 portrait…

Magical re-tellings of J/P and/or the Beatles Story:

No matter where you come down on the blessed vs. cursed continuum—they were living through something magical.

In KISSING THE BLARNEY (@zilabee) the Beatles draw love and music from kissing Paul, and each other, until the stupid world interferes. But fear not, all ends well. How to tell the truth through whimsy: this story demonstrates it.

In WE ARE ALL TOGETHER (also by @zilabee), John and Paul switch bodies. It helps.

I WAS A YOUNGER MAN NOW (THEN) (POST HOC) BY @fingersfallingupwards: Paul is a time traveler and braids his life together with John’s, out of order, through the years. And yes, they do grow old together—but not without losing each other first. I’m in awe of this story.

A darker time-traveling story is A MATTER OF TIME (D12Fan), in which John and Paul love each other, over and over, and never manage to make it work—but Paul won’t give up.

FOR THOUGH THEY MAY BE PARTED (@downtothe-lastdrop): The misery of the 'Get Back' sessions and memory-stunting technology imported from “Severance” are not enough to kill off John and Paul’s attraction and longing for each other. Again, this is basically what happened, so.

John and Paul without the Beatles?

Yes, please! Sometimes, the best way to dissect and celebrate (and fix?) this mesmerizing and exasperating partnership is to lift it from its context and drop it elsewhere. Anything goes.

WHATEVER FATE DECREES by @dailyhowl: A gorgeous, finely spun, securely handled, self-contained vision of how John and Paul could have worked as artists in love, without a band to 'legitimize' and constrain their bond. I love this homage to their deep and complicated love that needed trust and breathing room.

1967 by @walkuntilthedaylight: What if John and Paul had gone to Spain together and not come back? This story not only explores their relationship layer by layer, it also dives into the the feelings of those who knew them 'before' and who now meet them again, as a couple. A fascinating alternate history. Not a fluffy one.

TOMORROW I'LL MISS YOU (@pauls1967moustache): Paul abandons John in Hamburg—or John stays behind without bothering to write, depending on who you ask. This "Before Sunset"—AU reunites them, years later. They ride a bus and write a song, and the love and tension are sweet and painful.

DOUBLE FANTASY (by @javelinbk): Modern AU in which John and Paul meet at John's flower shop and manage to ignore and creatively re-interpret their feelings for one another for a surprising amount of time, before fate has mercy. I love how their sweet, well-matched eccentricity makes the world a warmer place for both of them.

WE ARE STARDUST (Unchained_Daisychain): AU. John and Paul meet at Woodstock, fall hard and fast for each other, and have to decide what to do with it: Paul's life is back home in England...except...

Angst, darkness, and courage:

Pain, fear, grief, and other dark emotions are part of the real J/P story, so it makes sense to honor and harvest them in fiction. One of my favorite brands of McLennon angst is the one triggered by their feelings for each other, and the thing they become once they're together™. When they're scared of how much they need each other, and of what will happen next.

ONE AND ONE AND ONE IS THREE and MANAGING EXPECTATIONS (both by @pauls1967moustache), for instance. The first is a terrifying threesome with Yoko (at John's instigation, of course), in which trust is never rewarded and sex resolves nothing. The second is Paul wondering, in thoughts both messy and crystal clear, whether he exists independently of John. He turns to Brian for answers. They fuck. It feels like a human thing compared to what is going on in Paul's mind. Just astounding.

SUNDAY DRIVER (@boshemians) dives into the theme of Paul and John being afraid of themselves in the aftermath of Paul's accident (moped, sexual) with Tara Browne. This one, like "Managing Expectations," ends on a lovely grace note.

MACABRE (@dovetailjoints). Lennon and McCartney go too far.

OPEN HEART (@paisanas). Paul drinks John's blood. John lets him. But Paul starts to hate himself for how much he needs John, which John feels as rejection. I love how this story ends on Paul embracing his need. You can see the painful, bare bones of their malnourished love under the lush sensuality of the vampire sex. Raw and rich.

SILENCE (@ohjohnnysblog). Short and piercing. If there is someone you love—tell them. Don't wait.

THE LATE, GREAT JOHNNY ACE (@midchelle). Reeling with grief, Paul is recording an album in 1981. George and Ringo are there. John is not. But in the end—he is. And they touch. I've always admired Paul's resilience in the face of having to perform or "prove" his love of John in public, and this story showed me, without sugar-coating, where this resilience comes from.

Light, hope, and fixing things:

There is also much lightness and brightness in McLennon, because John and Paul were ridiculous, and horny, and weird. And also: they deserve a laugh. They deserve the fluffiest of happy endings. They deserve high-quality, life-affirming smut. They deserve silly, because silly is what they were. You know their names, look up their number.

1980. John is in BERMUDA (@scurator), Paul visits. Paul comes prepared, John just comes. Sometimes, it can be this simple. This story always leaves me in such a good mood. Paul is the (more) experienced one, and it...really works for me.

GOT TO GET DOWN (@eveepe): In praise of John's obsession with Paul's...precious. His small and perfect prick.

ADVENTURES IN TOTAL HONESTY (@merseydreams). Pithy and sexy, and, I quote from the tags: #Excessive Margarita Mixing.

ANINUT (@pauls1967moustache): The Beatles heal, together and separately, after Brian's death. Once more, I quote the writer: "The Beatles did not follow any of the Jewish mourning traditions, and frankly, they should have."

The unhinged weirdness of the Mad Day Out, with John and Paul escaping and Francie, Yoko and Mal not missing them...much, is rightfully celebrated in one of the insaner stories I read: JOHN, I'M ONLY DANCING (@skylikeaflame)

FAIR'S FAIR (@javelinbk): John and Paul are being silly during a press conference, resulting in acute arousal requiring John's skilled intervention. I love the unexpected care and tenderness in this one!

WHERE THE POETS WENT (RedheadAmongWolves): Tender and enchanted story in which Paul and John go to a bookstore, where they're not as famous as everywhere else. As delicate as the chiming doorbells and the pages murmuring around them.

TAKEN AWAY (@crumblingcookies) Extraterrestrial Intelligence intervenes to reunite John and Paul.

CAN I TAKE MY FRIEND TO BED? (manhattanvalleys). Paul fucks the band in sequence and gets off in the end, as is his due. This is a story like Prince's KISS. No filler, all effect.

THEY SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY (@ohjohnnysblog). Warm and nostalgic phone sex in the 70's.

KEEP THE LIGHT WE'RE GIVEN (@backbenttulips). Amidst the rise of Beatlemania, Paul and John expect their first child. This is Paul's 1962 diary.

More Outsider POV's:

STILL MATES (@pauls1967moustache): in 1968, Peter Asher takes the leap to act on his feelings for his sister's spiraling ex fiancé. This isn't about Paul as much as about Peter, and who he wants to be. Gutting character study. It made me love Peter.

ANOTHER GIRL (@boshemians): Astrid reunites with the Beatles during the making of AHDN and registers their words and deeds with the same stark objectivity as her camera. I love how she seeks the shelter of obscurity while they are being dragged into the limelight. But she sees them, wherever they are. J/P in this story feels incredibly real to me.

WHY BUY THE COW (RedheadAmongWolves). The milkman sees everything on his early morning rounds: the arrival of a nice new family, the McCartneys, the mother's illness, the sadness after her death...and the arrival of a new love in the older son's life. He shouldn't approve—should say something, in fact. But a small inner voice holds him back.

SLEEPLESS IN WALES (thinkpink20). Mike overhears Paul and John whisper in bed. He doesn't understand everything they say. I do. Adorable.

Not each other's first love, but each other's true love

THIS YEAR'S FOR ME AND YOU (@skylikeaflame): After a long life, after deep and loving partnerships with other people, John and Paul, encouraged by their grown-up children, finally meet their mutual love head on. A festive story about waiting the perfect amount of time.

THERE ARE ALWAYS FLOWERS (tarenas): The Beatles are in the past; John and Paul's love is in ashes. Paul, who is fragile and bereft, lives with George, who is content. The four ex-Beatles unite for the second wedding of Mike McCartney. At times, the aching grief in this story is almost unbearable. But the love between George and Paul is unusual and real. This is unfinished. I'll keep waiting for the final chapter.

Beyond J/P

WANT ME WHEN I'M NOT THERE (@backbenttulips): Linda catches Paul cheating on her with John. She divorces him. Finally: a story that puts her most likely reaction front and center, with no mercy for the messed-up geniuses.

In the Rebecca-AU LOVE LIKE GHOSTS (@backbenttulips), Yoko becomes Mrs. Lennon. Soon, she discovers that her husband is haunted by the ghost of his first love. It's pleasing how well this re-telling matches the events as they (alas) (almost) happened. The ending is chilling. Genuinely horrifying. I love seeing Yoko as the sensible one and as the focus of empathy.

THE BASS LESSON (@aquarianshift). Paul and Stu fool around without letting go of their mutual resentment for even a moment. And it works. "Let's never do this again." I don't think so.

TELL ME ALL MY LOVE'S IN VAIN (@midchelle). Forget about quote unquote platonically obsessed male rock stars: This about about Maureen and Patti through the years. The web weaving continues.

SPOTLIGHT ON JOHN AND STU (@dailyhowl) A love story in letters—too brief, like Stu's life, but sounding as if the writer transcribed their dictation. Some of the best descriptions of what it must have been like to play on stage with the Beatles during the mania are in NO I IN THREESOME (@with-eyes-closed). George finds himself in the beam of attention between John and Paul, and nearly loses his mind. But he's determined to stay and become part of them. Paul is daddy and "fucks like music" as seen through George's eyes. The whole story is vicious and hot and uncomfortable—until there's the love and quiet at the eye of the storm.

Not for the faint of heart! WHAT THE CIGGIE CARTON SAW (@waveofhand): Paul McCartney having his way with cigarettes.

This is getting out of hand...but I'll stop here. There are so many more stories I love. And I can think of many other categories that would deserve their own post.

So, who knows: To be continued?

#fic rec #mclennon #mclennon fanfiction #mclennon fic #asks #fic recs #overall favorites fic recs

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bulbagarden · 7 months

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Opinion: Scarlet and Violet are Pokémon's Queerest Games Yet (Bulbanews)

Hi it's Lisia here!! The following is an opinion piece from one of our staff members, Torchic W. Pip!! Blanc and I both loved this and like... we had to share it here LOL.

Pokémon was my queer awakening. I had silly little crushes on male and female characters alike, and I resonated with many of the designs of the series’s more gender nonconforming designs. Pokémon has always had a wink and a nod to queerness: Jessie and James’s genderbending antics, Beauty Nova in X and Y, Blanche from Pokémon GO… the list goes on. But with Scarlet and Violet, queerness shines bright as celestial stars.

“But wait!” you might say. “Scarlet and Violet has no canonical gay or trans characters! How can this thesis make sense?” Well, queer representation need not be explicit to be impactful. Sometimes, the stories queer people resonate with most are told through metaphor, from the misfits in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to X-Men to Luca and Gwen Stacy. The roots of this trace back to a history of censorship. LGBTQ+ stories have been historically censored, such as with the Hays Code. Queer people have long been unable to see stories with explicitly queer characters, so they instead turned to metaphors and symbolism. Gender nonconformity is also nothing new to the scene of video games. Metroid, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, and Guilty Gear are just some of the games that play with our expectations of gender. It’s also nothing new to Pokémon. East Asian media tends to depict transness and gender nonconformity differently from the West, but for more on that, I'll direct you to this video.

Even before the release of Scarlet and Violet, gender nonconformity shined through. Take a character like Grusha, for example, who many mistook for a girl when he was first introduced. It goes a little deeper than that, though. “Grusha” is Russian for “pear”, but it’s also a diminutive for the name “Agrafena”... a female Russian name. Whether or not it was intentional, it does add an extra layer of nonconformity to Grusha. Another character with some queercoded elements is Iono: Her color palette evokes the colours of the trans flag, and her Magnemite headpieces evoke an explicitly genderless Pokémon. Baggy clothes are common among many transgender people. Her friend Bellibolt is a frog, and many frogs in real life can change their sex. In Japanese, she speaks with a Bokukko speech pattern (a girl using the masculine “boku”), which is often used for plucky characters, but also nonconforming characters. All of Iono’s names across translations evoke themes of questions. On top of all that… well, the Vtubing scene is, from personal experience, very queer. All of my friends who watch VTubers are queer in some way. More seriously, creating a persona where you can let your true self shine in a way that regular society won't allow you to... that's pretty queer.

With the release of the games, we’ve seen a wide array of characters—Rika, Saguaro, Penny, and all of the leaders of Team Star, among others—showcase a wide range of gender expressions, either in their appearances, their personalities, or their hobbies. And all of these characters are seen as heroes, as role models.

As with games before, there are two characters with queer subtext in their relationship. Hassel and Brassius have been seen by many as being in a gay relationship, bonding over a love of art, supporting each other in dark times, and giving each other pet names. Even if it's not outright stated that they're in a romantic relationship, their care for each other is a beautiful thing. Many gay coded relationships are often of younger men or women, and while these relationships are important, it's also important for older gay couples to receive some of the spotlight. After all, queer people have always existed, and it's important to remember our past and honor those who came before us, who helped paved the path to acceptance.

For the first time in a mainline game, the player character can choose any clothes, hair style, and so on regardless of gender. While the player can still only choose between being referred to by masculine or feminine terms, this is a step in the right direction, and it opens the door for many opportunities never seen before. Boys can be feminine, girls can be masculine, and both can be anywhere in between. The world of gender expression is as big as the open world of Paldea.

But back to Team Star. The whole Team Star path is one big, queer metaphor. Think about it: kids are bullied for how they dress or act, these misfits band together and retaliate against their bullies, finding a sort of family in each other, villains who turn out to be just the opposite… It’s a story that, in some way or form, can resonate with many kids who have, sadly, dealt with homophobia or transphobia in school. The path is a story about righting what’s wrong, about making the world a more accepting place.

Scarlet and Violet is a game about shining bright in the sky with other stars, about being your true self. Its themes are deeply resonant with the queer experience. At the end of the Team Star path, you battle Penny, whose ace Pokémon is trans flag-coloured Sylveon, and as she Terastilizes her partner, she says, “Shine bright like the starry sky and become who you really want to be!” So shine bright, trainers, and be your true self.

Oh, and of course, Quaquaval is the queer icon of all time.

[Torchic W. Pip is a Bulbanews writer with a focus on music, merchandise, and spin-off games. They're also a fanfiction author and moderator of the Writer's Workshop subforum. Outside of writing, Torchic is studying music theory and linguistics, and his favorite games are X/Y and Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire.]

#pokemon #bulbagarden #bulbanews #queer #lgbt #pride

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cultofsappho · 10 months

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Ive come to the realization that the reason theres a small but loud group of people who are showing nothing but hate for the rwrb movie is because they have completely unrealistic expectations. People are forgetting that this is a cheesy romantic comedy, thats supposed to look and feel like a cheesy romantic comedy. This isnt going to be moonlight or gods own country or some other critically acclaimed, oscar nomintaed queer film that makes straight people go "hmm maybe they do deserve rights and respect🤷‍♀️"

Its gonna be a cheesy adult romantic comedy, thats gonna be a bit camp and over the top and thats exactly why its so good. I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch. I want to watch it and see two queer people fall in love and thats it. Thats how deep it goes. Maybe a sprinkling of politcal commentary in between.

There is this issue thats become bigger and bigger every passing year, that people expect every bit of queer representation to be the best thing ever. There can not ever be anything cringey or different or silly, and if it is then they send endless hate towards it, and in an industry that already hates to show queer people on screen, its this viscious cycle of someone finally being greenlit to make queer media, the media gets endless hate for not being perfect, the studio cancels the queer media before giving it a chance because theyve just 'proven that it wont make money', suddenly everyone is saying 'why do they keep canceling queer media😢', cycle repeats.

Im so over it. Let gay people be slightly cringy or cheesy or campy. Let queer media exist without putting it on this huge pedestal. Just enjoy things! And if you dont, dont watch it! Move on, find something better to do.

Yes!!! Thank you so much anon for putting this feeling into words much better than I could have!

"I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch."

Thank you.

I want light-hearted rom coms about queer adults just being queer adults and havig fun. I want comedy adventures where the characters just happen to be gay. I want more horror where at the end the final girl kisses a girl and can't belive they lived but not because they're gay. (suprisingly several of these exist and I love it)

I don't always want to think about the plight and horrors of being queer today with every queer movie I watch.

Sometimes, yes of course, I want to be seen on that level.

(Nimona, which came this weekend is a perfect example of a queer movie where I felt very very seen but also had a good time and was an incredibly silly fantasy adventure movie. But, still had the queer expereince intertwined.)

I'm looking forward to a movie that will be 90% rom com, and 10% realism/heavyness. re: being outed is a real thing that happens to people. famous people.

Alex and Henry go through some heavy shit. There's seriously traumatizing stuff at the end of the book. They're both dealing with mental illnesses, complex families, and rock-or-a-hard-place situations. I want all of that honored.

And, at the same time, I'm expecting a straight-to-streaming, mid-budget, movie that had to pass through a LOT of straight hands and board meetings to get to us.

Not to say we should love and accept every queer movie that comes out automatically, they have been done wrong in the past. (example: I skipped call me by your name bc the age gap still makes me too uncomfortable to watch)

But we have to give queer movies a chance to fit the genre they were made for, the tone they are made to be, and give queer creators a chance to show they are us annd they know us. The director is Bi. He's spent so much time going on about how much he related to Alex that he needed to make this movie. It's his first directing role, and I'm giving him a chance.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #mostly unrelated but I also saw a bunch of gay men on twitter screaming about how rwrb isn't *for* lesbians #and that we 'shouldnt be allowed to have it'#which is fucking wild!#and they somehow manged to work in the fact taht the author is NB into their argument???#it was madness #but another example just how much vitriol is surrounding this fanbase #its completely insane if you think that Alex and Henry would gate keep their story to just queer men.#or that cmq would want that either

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prettyboypistol · 7 months

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I'm not sure if requests are open so if not feel free to delete this ask! Can you do the mercs realizing they're into men because of the reader?

Of course! By the way, this is my 100th post! lucky lucky Anon! This goes out to all of the rest of my followers! Thank you for all the support and followers! I'll always look at your messages and write for TF2! I couldn't be here without all of you! Thank you for letting me be the weird gay man who likes writing about old gay men kissing! -PrinceThomas :>

Tf2 Mercs x M!Reader || Gay Awakening! +18

Scout

Super in denial at first, compares you to actors he likes or thinks are hot and kinda shelves it. Is MAD jealous that you just somehow look great no matter what (to him hehe)

Realizes he has a crush on you when his usual spank bank material of girls isn't really doing it for him anymore. It's 4am, he's tired and horny and a little drunk... his mind just wandered, okay?!

Daydreamer 100%, but his feelings for you and his feelings for Miss Pauling kinda fuck him up ngl?? Is he a homo or not?? I mean, he likes boobs and lipstick and girls, but the rough and tumbled grease in your stubble just gets him rarin in a way girls didn't.

Bisexual struggles fr. Assuming that you're a Stonewall riot supporter, he'd probably try to roundabout ask if he can experiment with you.

What really set you apart from the other mercs is that you just look good compared to them! Yeah, there are some conventionally attractive guys, but you're h o t.

Soldier

Soldier, like Scout, assumed his attraction to you was something more akin to respect or friendliness. I mean, no other soldier he's ever met sacrificed himself to save him! That takes guts! Yeah, you respawned after, but the honor was still there for him.

Develops or at least tries to develop a friendship like what he with Demoman. He might come off like a very determined puppy, but you know he means well.

Uses you as someone to compare others too. (Ex. "SCOUT! THAT WAS HORRENDOUS TECHNIQUE! TAKE A LOOK AT THAT FINE MAN OVER THERE! DETERMINED! STRONG! TAKE NOTES, PRINCESS!")

When he does realize it's love, he is upfront and honest about his feelings with you. After all, if Jane did like men, he could find more powerful army and recreate that unbeatable ancient army of homosexuals!

Asks around about romance, probably interrogates Medic about how to court another man because let's be honest Medic looks gay as he'll and I will die on the hill that every merc just assumes that man is queer.

Pyro

In Pyroland, you're a prince on a unicorn. You're straight out of a fairy tale. They're overjoyed to have a prince in Pyroland rather than just babies! Yeah, it's fun to be childish, but a whimsical joy that are more complex are fun too!

Absolutely follows you around and talks about you to Engie non-stop. Engie jokes that Pyro might have a crush on you and they seriously consider it. They realize you're attractive when you do a party trick of spitting out Bug spray and lighting it on fire, making it look like you breathe fire.

As you cough and retch at the lingering taste of bug repellant in your mouth, Pyro applauds your trick and keeps trying to talk to you. They eventually are able to communicate to you, asking if you have any more fire tricks. You show them that you can twirl a pencil between all your fingers when the eraser tip is lit up like a candle.

You can kind of tell that they like you romantically, but you're not sure how to tell them that you know. A few chats with Engie tells you all you need to know: Pyro has never pursued a romantic interest, Pyro likes you, and that you can probably get their attention with an honest conversation.

Demoman

The most casual about their realization that they like you- and men in general. Just a peek at you in the showers after a particularly clutch victory caused a few rather dirty thoughts. It wasn't that big of a deal to him and kept his attitude of a drunken "Well, a hole's a hole, I bet he's tight."

Probably offers a little bit of fun after a long night of party, definitely a lot more drunk than usual as he leans a tad too close for friendship. That deep, gravelly, and warm voice growled in your ear with an open offer to join him in his room that night.

If you joined, he wouldn't remember the night and regret that he forgot the night in the morning when you and him snuggle awake. If you decline it's no harm no foul.

One of those types of guys who actually can balance his feelings for you along with his friendship- he keeps the ball in your court and stayed professionally friendly, maybe a tad brotherly competitive.

Heavy

This man is an iron wall to hide his feelings. He had the idea that he just wasn't the type to want a relationship- which was fine, more time to work to keep his family safe- but then you jumped out into danger to protect him. He was on the brink of death and you selflessly risked your life for him! Yeah, you both respawned, but it was the gesture that mattered!

His eyes trailed you a lot more often, like a security camera. He pretended to be read his book, but he knew exactly where you were. Medic is the first to notice this change.

Medic asks about Heavy's feelings for you, since Heavy had never ordered Medic to go heal anyone else before! Hell, the both of you tended to stay behind Heavy during battles after that, so you two had a sense of closeness.

When you all went out on a trip to the beach, Heavy loved watching you in the water, and even allowed himself to be dragged in by you to play water polo with Soldier and Demoman. He's a long game of chess, hopefully you can win him over!

Is a bit more protective of you out of battle, but that's something only the people he threatens is aware of.

Engie

Oh fucking god holy shit what the hell man's fucking gay PANICS. DELL IS HEARTSTOPPINGLY FROZEN IN FEAR WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE LIKES MEN.

All you did was scale a chainlink fence with ease, albeit with a small growling as the metal dug into your fingers. Dell swallowed the feeling thickly. He didn't mean to stare at your ass, really! It just sorta... happened.

And then it happened again as he kneeled to construct a sentry. Then when he was sat down at the kitchen table as you walked by. The only time he didn't catch a glance was when you turned to him with a smug look and a "if you wanna look at my ass, you could just ask."

He knows a lot of gay cowboy culture, but was far too scared to go ahead with a few of the gestures. Although, you weren't as shy, giving him a grey handkerchief when he spillied oil on himself.(translation: grey handkerchief=bondage kink)

Finally- FINALLY! He offers you his hat on a very hot day with his head looking straight at the ground.(translation: if a cowboy puts his hat on your head, y'all fucking)

Sniper

In the top 3 of "chillest reactions to realizing he likes men", but barely on the podium yk?

Mick was doing some target practice and had lost track of time, his pot of coffee and snack pile had been long empty. Right as he was about to get up to stretch his legs, he saw you on the last rung to the ladder of his nest. "Oh hey Snipes! You missed lunch and dinner, 'decided to check in on our favorite sharpshooter." When you stay for a few moments and hand him the bottles of water and leftovers from dinner, he realized that nobody made him feel that loved.

You just being kind sends him into a "did he do that to hit on me? Does he do this to everyone?" Yeah he panics about everything you do, but not because you're a man- it's because a crush is a crush to him!

Sniper does genuinely try to show interest, but in a subtle way like inviting you out to take a smoke break, target practice, maybe offer to let you join him to survivalist camp for a few days.

Spy

Silver medalist of the chill reaction podium, mainly because he laments to himself about all the potential money he had lost by not seducing more men in his more freelance espionage days. He could have hooked up with Saxton Hale to swindle that oaf out of millions- if he had thought of that.

Does a full background and thorough investigation into your personal life, how you reacted to the huge news event of Stonewall, if you had ever hooked up with a man, anything to see if he had a chance to sneak into your dating pool.

He treats you a lot like how he treats the women he seduces, but has to overcome how you brush him off casually like a man. Women were a language Spy speant years studying, so much so that he seldom kept up with the more masculine way of communicating.

At his wit's end, he just asks you bluntly. "Listen, I find you hot. I've been trying to get into your pants for almost 2 months now, do you want to have sex?"

Medic

This man already knew he was gay before you pulled up, sorry. BUT BUT BUT you are the first crush he's had! Yeah, he knew he liked the idealized version of a man he made up in his head, but you are better than the fictional men in books!

Despite the stereotype for Medic, he didn't fall for you when he saw you on his operating table. You and Engie were theorycrafting about hypothetical cybernetic enhancements. Engie had said something biologically inaccurate about the immune system, and before Medic could interrupt your private conversation, you corrected Engie! Not in a demeaning way, but in a way that clearly showed that you had a love for biological science. Medic's heart skipped a beat.

Constantly offering you new enhancements for your body and coddles you about painful proedures (he actually gives you anathesia! How sweet!) and sends his experimental ideas to you for a betaread over. For Medic, that's essentially a confession in and of itself!

Has written your name in little hearts on his note margins and uses you as his anatomy sketch references when he needs to visualize the human skeleton.

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lurkingshan · 3 months

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10 Things I Love About Cooking Crush Episode 11

It's not every day that a Thai bl delivers a classic Episode 11 DOOM episode that fills me with joy, so I feel compelled to celebrate everything this show did right in its penultimate chapter. A list of things I loved about this episode, in no particular order.

All the conflict was external. This is how you deliver drama and tension without messing up your core relationships--let them stand together against external forces! When Prem told Ten he wouldn't let him take the fall alone for punching Chang Ma because they're a team, I cheered.

Ten and Prem continue to be communication kings. The way these two talk to each other is just excellent. In any other drama, Ten finding that sticky note would have led to him hiding it, starting to doubt Prem's love, and crumbling in a crucial moment. Not in this show! Ten asked Prem directly what it was about, named that it hurt his feelings, but then listened to the explanation and forgave him. We love to see it.

Struggles aside, all the pairs are so happy. I love how consistently we saw joy from Ten, Prem, Fire, and Dynamite this episode. The friends all cheering for Ten and Prem getting together was fucking adorable, and Fy and My look so content. I’ve never seen Prem smile as big or as often as he did this week. The couples have fun together and they’re all good for each other.

The villains in this episode were calibrated just right. The school bullies and Chang Ma were just on the right side of the line in terms of being assholes but not so harsh or irredeemable that it feels out of sync with this show's light tone. Chang Ma did the right thing in the end by taking responsibility for his own inappropriate behavior and ensuring the Three Must-Eat-Ers could stay in the competition. The bullies will surely get their final comeuppance next week.

The conflict with Ten's dad was appropriately nuanced. I am no fan of that man, but he was making some valid points! He wasn't entirely wrong in what he said to Ten about resorting to violence, though like most parents he is being a hypocrite with selective memory (no sir, I have not forgotten you using physical violence against your own son). Their relationship is so tense, and he continues to antagonize Ten about Prem, so it's no wonder Ten could not receive it calmly. I appreciate that even though Ten didn't listen to him in the moment, he still came to the right conclusions about how to address his mistake.

Fire loved up on Dynamite on national television. Y'all, when I tell you I almost cried to see that expression of queer love and joy from a boy who has previously been so afraid, to a boy who has previously been so unloved. Their relationship is setting them both free, and I am looking forward to Fire finally looking his mother in the face next week and telling her who he is.

Smart use of social media in the cooking show subplot. I like it when dramas use netizens well to create conflict, and I thought the way the fans of the cooking competition reacted to all the drama rang true. I'm glad the trio is going into the final with some fan goodwill on their side.

Prem has really grown into his vulnerability. I love the way Prem was able to express his feelings to Ten multiple times in this episode, having honest talks, asking for support, and sharing his fears. And of course Ten was there to catch him every time he took the leap.

The friendships continue to matter. I love the way Ten and Prem's friends are so involved in every important plot of this show. That scene of them all discussing the cooking show drama together and deciding what they wanted to do was tops. This is a big queer friend group who takes care of each other and I love them, your honor.

Ten and Prem made out in the kitchen!! Listen, I am a mere mortal and I like it when couples in romances are actually into each other. I never would have guessed that this would be the show to deliver more kisses than all of Off/Gun's previous shows combined, but I am living for it.

#cooking crush #thai bl #10 things #shan shouts into the void

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