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#you will not get sushi
boot-prints 2 years
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#suicide tw#dear the me of four years ago tonight#youre choking down pills#first with orange juice and then with vodka once the juice runs out#you dont know it yet but youre going to find some unknown nugget of resilience and walk to a&e in about half an hour#you're going to call your mum at one am and it might be the worst phone call you ever make as you tell her that you are dying#that there are thirty one pills rattling around inside you and that you think walking to hospital might have been a mistake#you're going to spend the next fourty eight hours on a drip and you will spend every minute wishing you hadnt made it that far#youre going to search in yourself for any single thing to live for and land on sushi#if you survive this you will have sushi you promise yourself#you will come out on Facebook somewhere among eleven attempted blood tests and every time you allow a needle#you will think of sushi once youre safe#you will not get sushi#it will be nearly six months between now and sushi#but there will be sushi eventually and it was worth living for#you will learn to find joy wherever you can#you find work you enjoy and it takes almost a year before you can find joy in art again but you will find it#you fill sketchbooks now#cover to cover#and you sing and you climb and you spent this night#exactly four years on from sickly sweet marshmallow vodka washing down that last pill you spent the night with friends#playing mariokart projected on a wall and laughing as you lose#in the time ive taken to write this you will have started your walk#its the hardest thing you'll ever do but here's the secret#im glad you made it#even on the bad days i am glad that you walked because there are a thousand things ive done since then and theyre all thanks to you#because on the worst night of our life you found strength you didnt know existed and you walked#and then we lived#t
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black-and-yellow 2 months
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mamawasatesttube 20 days
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alright it's time! without further ado i present to you, the premise of the timkon and clois mermay fic i probably won't write.
in a world where mers are known to exist but are extremely rare - hunted to near-extinction in the past, perhaps, and mostly very reclusive - cadmus labs manage to get a tissue sample from a mer sighted in the sea nearby, although he evades capture and is never observed in the area again. it's enough for them to make a few attempts at cloning - the first twelve are unsuccessful, but the thirteenth... the thirteenth grows beautifully.
tim drake is an intern working directly under lois lane at the daily planet. he's only recently started his job, but he's great at it and he's thriving, and he really likes lois. her husband is nice, too, even if he privately thinks the man kind of lacks personality - he's just not as much of a go-getter as lois. his columns are great reads, though. tim just thinks lois's are better.
as usual, clark kent has a secret. a sea-cret, in this case - he came from the ocean. he was a little baby mer, tacky with the blood of his dead parents, who washed up ashore by the lighthouse the kent family has kept for ages. of course they took him in and raised him as their own, as best they could. he disappeared to sea again for a while when he met lori lemaris. though their romance didn't pan out in the end, they parted as friends, and she gave him a gift: a magic spell to let him transform into a human while on land, to have legs, but to always return to his true form in the water.
lois lane, of course, knows her husband's secret. lois lane would do anything to protect her husband and his secret. she nearly lost him once, a few years ago, when he tried to go for a swim to meet his old friend lori but was nearly caught by hunters. he escaped, but was injured; his tail still bears the scar. she still has the occasional nightmare about finding him on the docks, bleeding, mourning.
the thirteenth experiment - the cloned mer - escapes.
he doesn't know where to go - he doesn't have anywhere else to go - but he's never been in the open ocean before, with no tanks or barriers or nets to hold him back, and he revels in it. he's free! he has so much space to swim, he can leap from the water and twirl in the air! there are so many stars in the night sky, and the sun on the rocks is so warm and nice, and there are so many new kinds of fish he's never eaten...
...but mers are social creatures, and he's lonely. so he starts sneaking back towards the shore of the city he escaped from. he knows it's dangerous, but he just wants to see people. he's never met another mer. he hides near the docks, he swims by the beaches, he explores the marinas. he observes. he sneaks a little closer and closer day by day, growing braver with every venture that doesn't get him caught.
tim drake is eating a leisurely lunch by the waterside one day when he notices a creature in the water, staring at him.
"uuhhhh," he says. "hi?"
the creature ducks back into the water with barely a ripple and vanishes. but he's back, a minute or two later, and staring at tim's lunch. "...what's that?" he asks.
"this?" tim looks down. "this is some sliced mango. do you want some?"
he tosses a piece into the water. the thirteenth experiment takes a tentative bite. tim witnesses a being experience true bliss for the first time in its life, in real time. the next thing he knows, he's promised to come back tomorrow with more land fruits for the mer to try - and he's promised not to tell anyone. and there's a little thought in the back of his mind telling him that he really needs to look into any facilities in the area that might have the capacity to house a secret captive mer.
clark kent hears rumors that some people are claiming to have seen a young mer in the area recently. of course he has to investigate. of course he finds the thirteenth clone, swimming around the mouth of the river and playing in the currents. of course he looks into his face - his own face, years younger - and knows, deep in his bones, what has happened. of course he calls him family. gives him a name. offers him his home, as well, but kon-el declines; he's too in love with the ocean to want to abandon it to hide on land just yet.
clark is a master of keeping secrets. never from lois, but from the rest of the world? always. he tells lois about the boy in the water, about the facility that created him, about the scientists who kept him from the sea. lois swears that she'll stand by him no matter what, and that they'll do whatever they can to make sure this kid is safe.
what follows is a series of more and more ridiculous scenarios as tim and lois both attempt to keep the mer secret from each other, unaware that the other knows about kon because they both believe they can't tell anyone about kon for kon's own safety. kon, unaware that tim and kal-el's wife know each other either, is just having the time of his life swimming around and stealing bits and pieces of tim's lunch.
of course, the peace can't last. cadmus hears the rumors, too, and they want their prize back. early one morning, tim and lois see reports of a flotilla of strange, private fishing boats with unusual equipment and no markings, and they both know what that means.
kon is being hunted.
tim scrambles to get to their usual meeting spot, to tell kon to get away, to hide, but kon never comes. hours pass. the sun sinks below the horizon; the moon glimmers on the water. sick with worry, tim finally has to retreat. they must have found him already, he thinks. he has to find a way to get him back. he has some leads, about facilities that could actually hold a mer, and about those boats. he'll follow up on them. he will find kon.
(what tim doesn't know is that clark moves fast. clark knows all about being hunted. kon is safe, luxuriating in a bath bomb in clark and lois's apartment. he's got clark's laptop on a plank across the tub, and he's watching wendy the werewolf stalker with rapt attention. clark has gotten him some sushi. he's having a great time.)
lois, however, isn't home. lois followed one of those suspicious boats back to its dock, and lois is going to get some answers.
what follows: tim and lois both break into cadmus marine research labs and proceed to do a spiderman pointing meme at each other over a computer full of records about the mer-cloning experiments.
what follows: lois is so proud of tim. he's breaking and entering and getting to the truth without her lead at all! he's doing so good! good job tim!
what follows: lois puts tim in her purse and brings him home with her like a little dog.
clark, upon seeing tim with lois, is initially like ?!?!!?! why did you bring him here when you know kon is here?!?!? but then kon sticks his head out of the bathroom and goes "tim!!!!!" and clark is like. wait. you... the human friend you mentioned is tim???? and kon is like. you know him???? my mango dealer????
and then the falling action. lois spearheads cadmus getting shut down, and kon gets to splash around without fear. he gets clark to come splash around with him too. and he kisses tim :)
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sushipopart 1 month
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hang on shes making a really important phone call!
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tswwwit 2 months
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How would bill feel if dipper reincarnated as an incubus?
Thrilled. Delighted. Tickled pink! Partly because hey! That's a great look for him! Inhuman and demonic and oh-so-cute. Another part because of all the demonic subtypes he could end up as, this one has to be the most ironic, a bit of him thrilled just because it's good to see him again -
And of course, a Big Ol' Chunk of delight for the other obvious reason.
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leavingautumn13 11 months
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Tatsugiri makes an excellent starter pok茅mon due to its predisposition to working as part of a team, but keep in mind it is still an intelligent dragon in need of enrichment.
Tatsugiri understand human speech, and can mimic it to some capacity. Whether it understands the meaning of the words it is saying or not is up for debate.
Where dondozo is primarily a freshwater pok茅mon, tatsugiri can tolerate a wide range of salinity. A tatsugiri in a high-salinity environment (or a low-salinity environment with no dondozo) will attempt to partner with another pok茅mon the way it would with a dondozo. Tatsugiri have been observed partnered with wailmer, lumineon, and basculin.
Unlike prey pok茅mon who are often skittish being held or hugged, tatsugiri's mutualistic relationship with dondozo leads it to feeling safe and comforted when wrapped up or placed under gentle physical pressure, and it is considered a cuddly pok茅mon. Please hug your tatsugiri today.
[send me a pok茅mon and i'll draw it semi-realistically and add my headcanons]
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buttercupshands 2 months
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Chapter 419 Analysis or "How to make allies not pawns" a helpful guide from League of Villains (part 2)
This is now a second part of Tomura character analysis.
With chapter 419 being probably our last time seeing Tomura for a while, since we need to learn what happened with Aizawa now is time to remember that not only bad things exist it Tomura's life.
Warning of spoilers to the whole manga to the point of chapter 419! All of the warnings from My Villain Academy side of manga are applicable
So like... mentions of death, killing other people, manipulation, emotional abuse and many more!
This is Part 2 - See here for Part 1 of this depressing mess
With AFO being so sure that he knows better and actually controlled every single part of Tenko's life creating a Symbol of Fear without any redeeming qualities or even hope for saving after he destroys him. There's one thing that AFO still doesn't understand about Tomura and never did - and that's his allies, or the League of Villains that he created.
Even Kurogiri, being a Nomu who's views do not stray from what AFO thought was important didn't exactly understand what did Tomura think about his allies quick to assume that he thought of them as pawns all the was back in the Training Camp arc. With Tomura making game examples to explain the situation, he still didn't think of LoV as just pawns on a desk, like AFO does.
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At the time of USJ arc there weren't many people Tomura called this, which could make you wonder how much it was just AFO's plan rather than Tomura's with him never worrying about those other villains yet getting so worked up over losing Nomu not only because he was strong enough to defend him from All-Might, but treating his defeat as something that must be avenged.
And that was long before Stain even entered the picture, the first of three people who greatly affected Tomura's view of his own motives alongside AFO's manipulation of literally everything else.
Tomura was terrified of fighting All-Might seconds before this and yet as this goes on it's becoming more noticeable - Tomura doesn't care for his own fear or worries as long as he's fighting for someone else's good. Not so different from how Izuku is ready to disregard himself for the sake of others, resulting in many injuries and being so close to dying so many times.
It never was a secret that Tomura is highly dependent on others to keep himself from losing confidence, or even will to fight, getting either too anxious to continue without anyone's reassurance.
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And while AFO's "help" was mostly given only with some kind of lesson as we saw in "Tomura Shigaraki: Origin", with AFO literally sitting there, saying how Tenko is weak for not killing but showing some restrain instead suffering himself, never actually helping or comforting him. Only offering what he deemed nessesary for his own plan of making Tenko kill those thugs not caring that he's feeling sick from those hands.
But in USJ it's not AFO who's there with Tomura, it's Kurogiri, who was shown to still have some care that Shirakumo had that even Aizawa and Mic couldn't argue that it's similar to how Shirakumo couldn't just leave a kitten in the rain. No matter the responsibility that it would bring with taking a little one in.
A helpless little kitten that didn't get the help it needs from anyone else. Sounds way too familiar.
This never was a direct order from AFO other than he needs to "tend and protect" for Tomura, which can mean anything from just looking out when Tomura's sick, or protect him from any tread like someone trying to kill him.
Not helping him getting over his anxiety to fight or helping him and guiding him to do better as a leader of the League calming him if it got out of control. Which is somewhat opposite to the way AFO deals with Decay and Tomura's temper - letting him destroy anything even the hands that he gave him, just offering new ones when he succeedes and never really caring for his pawns, he can always get new ones.
And surely not asking if Tomura's well the first thing while talking to Heroes.
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Which then leads us back to how Tomura never viewed anyone that he chose as pawns calling them his allies, with the word '浠查枔' which can even be translated as friends in needed context, but usually used as comrade or ally when Tomura says it. And the same thing is usually translated as "friend" when used by Twice.
In any case Tomura never once doubted his allies since he saw them as reliable, even if his first meeting with Toga and Dabi went so wrong that Kurogiri had to stop them from killing each other.
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Up to the point of Training Camp AFO describes as him teaching Tomura to be independent which was at that point too far from the truth than he thought. If Tomura begging for AFO to leave with them is any indicator he actually was even less independent after All-Might almost caught them, making him doubt his own worth as a leader. Even if AFO's defeat finally let him think and wonder about himself and his past.
AFO believed that Tomura just knowing how to recruit people would suddenly make him great at using those new "pawns" which was proven wrong by Overhaul no so long after that. Showing how Tomura believed the same thing AFO did as well, fully trusting his judgement of anything including himself, all the while parroting what AFO says without fully understanding what it means.
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Only after losing both Magne and Mr. Compress arm does Tomura slowly start making progress in becoming someone more than AFO tells him to do. Even if as we see in part 1 it used Decay as the ground to make it stable since he believed it was his quirk. And yet.
Even if Tomura didn't simply instruct his allies how to choose who to recruit, he never blamed them for it. On the opposite, when Twice was hard on himself after bringing Overhaul to them Tomura just looked at them for the first time without a hand on his face, or even on himself at all, showing how he trusts them as much as he would trust himself and believes that they can do it.
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Taking off hands of his family would mean not relying on the conflicting feelings that they bring into the picture, something AFO would very much dissaprove, since he was now like an equal to everyone in LoV instead of being above them. He
And with this instead of making them blindly trust his decisions and following him from fear or adoration like people had been following AFO or Overhaul, he instead was an equal to them both in failure and victory that wasn't even all that guaranteed yet.
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Each one of them had their own somewhat selfish goal that just seemed like they were just using each other without any worry being each other's pawns. Or maybe that's just how AFO would see them.
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Yet it doesn't explain why did Toga care for Twice's trauma response of not having his mask on, since he already did his part and all that they both needed to do was done. But LoV was never about following orders or giving them, expecting for the pawns to follow without question. It was about a leader of the group that would stand up for his allies while allowing them full freedom, except when they needed to also accept that something is needed to be done for their own sake.
Like following Overhaul for a while all for cutting off his hands leaving him with nothing. Did that sound like something reasonable to do? No! They literally lost their chance at having sushi instead of just living at some abadoned building all the while occasionally searching for money or food, stealing and killing just to survive all while Tomura was just... waiting.
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Nothing was really stable at the start of what we call My Villain Academia and yet no one from the LoV left while their state was... bad at the very least. No matter how AFO was teaching Tomura he was still left mostly waiting for something to happen rather than doing something to change the situation himself.
Sure, Tomura now was a famous leader of League of Villains that suddenly needed to be stopped rather that underestimated like before. But that was in the future, now LoV was laying low on funds and slowly Tomura showing his face became the norm, with him usually never wearing hands around LoV.
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And with Tomura becoming more and more comfortable around LoV, the LoV itself was becoming more like a place that had one core value that accepted anything else added without anyone wondering about the past of others, like Compress said. Just some selfish people, who still followed their own needs first.
And yet somehow Toga, who joined just because she loved Stain and disliked how life was too hard found her place in the LoV alongside Twice who just needed to be trusted and trust in return. If Tomura only followed what AFO deemed to be the best way to lead no one would actually feel like they're accepted in the LoV as much as they were.
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Goal or no goal Tomura succeeded even without having the whole world at the palm of his hands by just never pressing anyone to actually follow him - if they wanted to they could've just left here and there, but since they chose to follow he did what he thought was the obvious best - let his allies do what they wanted.
Which was okay for someone like Toga or Dabi who were either already comfortable by just being allowed to be themselves or being free to plan their own things for their own goals.
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But not exactly that for Spinner. Who was instead literally searching for someone to show him what to do, not so different from Tomura, who still only followed whatever 'his Sensei' deemed worthy for him to look into, like letting Kurogiri go find unknown "power" that AFO left along with contact with Doctor.
And while Spinner was not fine with still being hollow even while following Tomura pretending that it's the same thing as following Stain... all it took for him to look differently at how exactly was Tomura thinking was the last real "barrier" that there was - Tomura basically spilling his whole backstory and motivations mostly for LoV to listen to, since Doctor was just testing Tomura's will all according to AFO's plan.
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And after that it didn't took too long for Spinner to now follow Tomura, even if it was still not the time to really see the 'warped horizon that was waiting for them'. And yet in times where Tomura still showed some doubt over his decisions - that one old trait of his showing up like it was always at the back of his head not so different from USJ, only thing changing that Tomura got better and better at not letting his emotions control him so easily.
Since the price of that would literally be lifes of his allies.
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And neither that or using their emotions to his own benefit was ever in his plans, contrast to AFO manipulating Tomura to do just that. Letting his emotions consume him completely just for his own goal and for his own sake. But as a person who was so familiar with this Tomura still was adamant at NOT allowing something like this to happen to his friends allies.
Effectively creating a bond between all six of them, including Toya that in the end kept them together until the very final arc, with Spinner keeping what Tomura would've thought and with him waking up and calling Machia to get LoV first and foremost Spinner did understand their's leader wishes, as well as Twice's who literally died for his friends.
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With all that happening in the War arc the moment AFO returned with both being in control of Tomura's body and just abadoned anything that Tomura would care for like leaving Mr. Compress and Machia behind just to punish him for not getting OFA or not even caring to show any actual respect for Tomura's wishes. Instead showing how little he actually cared for anything but his own good.
But while AFO made so many pawns that he could change like gloves at any given moment, threating them and manipulating them with his power and quirks, Tomura only had 6 allies who stayed after AFO was caught and who were willing to die just to live the life they wanted.
And AFO couldn't give them that.
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Even if Decay isn't Tenko's quirk and even if he has so much guilt for killing without it being a little bit justified by it...
LoV still followed him as a person who allowed them to live as they please and so what they want, not some all-powerfull overlord but an ally and a leader who had his flaws and fallings.
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the secret to happiness is doodling something catered to You Specifically. one second you're normal the next you're biting your own arm
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carlyraejepsans 11 months
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smelled something that my brain mistook as cooked veggies and had an instantaneous craving for udon noodles so animalistic and visceral i think i know what a boner feels like now
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sportsthoughts 2 months
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fun fact eating your body weight in vegetable sushi actually does cure everything
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hyperioncorps 1 year
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gordon freeman stimboard with themes of live & cooked salmon for anonymous! i found fishe :))
馃崳馃崳馃崳 - 馃崳馃崳馃崳 - 馃崳馃崳馃崳
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zenon-karr 2 months
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Eddie after finding out Buck is queer but isn鈥檛 into him
as requested by @blue-cheeseinmyoffwhites
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theflyingfeeling 4 days
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I think today I will cry about BC not making tour vlogs anymore 馃様
#yes i'm still bitter about the live performance video they posted yesterday#it seemed more like something made for promotion and marketing rather than for fans to relive the moment#or for fans who couldn鈥檛 attend to experience it as if they were there#the frame wouldn鈥檛 span on one moment for longer than 1.5 seconds which made it kinda messy#and you didn't really get a good picture of what the show was actually like#they didn't show how awkwardly long it took for the curtain to be gathered and carried away 馃き#instead they showed moshpits THAT DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN DURING THOSE SONGS 馃檮#and the content you see on their band account on tiktok/ig is no different#good for promotion i guess. uninteresting for their existing fans 馃ケ#i get that editing vlogs is extra work (for joonas) and that some of them may not want there to be a camera on their face all the time#and that *siiiiiiiiiiigh* ''youtube is dead'' 馃檮#but i don't think i would have fallen for this band half as bad as i did if it wasn't for the umk/esc vlogs and the content from summer '21#followed by more tour vlogs from their other tours#nowadays it's only fast-paced tiktoks and promotion and joel's SUPER FUNNY filters 馃檪#i would give up them all for 5-minutes of vlog-like content from the EU tour 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶#whose dick do i need to suck for this huh?#joel is it yours (as the band's social media guy)?? i will do it in the back alley of your local sushi buffet#just tell me when and i'll be there but make sure your cock's already out and hard i haven't got all day
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yourlocalgrass 3 months
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Awwww he鈥檚 such a sweetheart 馃ス-
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Brat.
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therealdazaifucker 3 months
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manipulative gf dazai who fake cries loud as fuck in public to get u to do things for him.
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keii 10 months
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Wished we could've seen Toji be a deadbeat, broke ass, gambling addicted, homeless man for a bit longer...
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