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romanoffsbish · 1 year

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Mom, Dad, I’m…

Wanda Maximoff x R

Blackhill ; Bishova ; Stony ; BuckySam

Happy Pride Angels, 🌈❤️

Warnings: Attempts at Humor. Heteros.

"Detka, can you go get some tomatoes from the garden? Steve already ate all of the freaking salsa," Wanda grumbled dramatically, falling into your arms as you were mid conversation with Natasha and Maria about their work.

"He probably intended to bottom tonight," Natasha remarks with a shit stirring grin, you cackled in solidarity, but the both of you stopped when your wives stood shoulder to shoulder with a menacing tilt to their heads.

——

"Welp, those tomatoes aren't gonna pick themselves," you noted before running off, you avoided looking back, afraid to see Natasha's stony glare as you abandoned her with them.

Every man for themselves a mantra you live by, well, only when it comes to angry spouses. As an Avenger you were as selfless as the rest, but now you got to be more selfish in retirement.

Natasha, unfortunately, was your victim.

When you entered the massive greenhouse you took a second to admire your wives handiwork. The brunette had a knack for gardening, a green thumb if you will. The greenhouse was her go to place to find her zen after a day of dealing with you, Billy, Tommy, and Ella.

The witch loved you all, her beautiful family, but some days the lot of you made her feel a tad bit homicidal. On those days she gardened.

It wasn't hard to find the tomatoes, they were ripe and ready on a set of entangled vines. But before you could bring it to her, you were too enamored by the conversation your kids were having in their little cove behind the garden.

"I can't do it," Tommy groaned. "Yeah they just won't understand," Morgan Stark agreed with him, and you leaned in to hopefully garner more context for their troubled minds.

"At least Uncle Tony is bi," Raina Belova countered, "He'll be more understanding."

"Have you met our dad?" Anthony, the only Jr present, said in an incredulous manner. "He even claims Fido is gay, he's totally unhinged."

You had to put a hand over your mouth, the amusement you were experiencing was unreal.

"Couldn't be us," Elena teased, "I'm gay as hell, and Bryce here is both queer and nonbinary."

Oh goodness... Never in your days did you expect your kids to keep secrets from you, but for it to be such a silly one it honestly made you want to interrupt the conversation at hand.

To remind them that no matter what, you'd all continue to love them, but it was too funny.

"Mama is going to be mad," Celeste Belova added, "She always said being gay is the way."

"I thought she was ace?" Billy inquired. "She is, but that doesn't make her any less gay."

After the conversation moved on to who they were crushing on you snuck back to the party. The overall consensus being that every last one of your collective brood, besides your youngest, Ella, who was only five, and Natasha and Maria's powerful duo, said they're straight.

"Where have you been?" You ignored your wife, handing her the basket of ingredients while calling all of your friends to the dining room. Tony whined, "What is so important?"

"You guys will not believe what I just heard..."

Wanda rolled her eyes as you spun your tale, she chopped up the tomatoes, jalapeños and onions as you enamored the group of friends.

"Thank God we're safe," Maria teased, turning to her wife with a genuinely relieved smile. "Right? Can you imagine having to attend two straight weddings? And pretend to like it?"

"Oh jeez," you gasped, "I didn't think of that."

Wanda tossed the ingredients into a bowl as the lot of you bantered back and forth, her patience already running thin with you all.

"Y/N, this joke isn't funny." Yelena shook her head in defiance when you reminded her that this wasn't a joke. "You don't know what you are talking about. Must be hearing loss..."

Kate put a hand on her wife's shoulder, "It's true Lena, they've both told me already."

"You traitor!" Yelena ripped her arm away as if the raven haired woman had burned her skin.

You now worried that you'd inspired divorces.

"No," Tony gasped, shaking his head in fear as the unexpected reality set in. "You're lying, you have to be. No son of mine is straight!"

"Honey," Steve called out for him, "It'll be okay, we always knew it would be a possibility."

"It most certainly is not okay," he grimaced, then in a flash he was outside, calling for your children to gather around the hibachi station.

"Where's the fire pops?" Morgan jests, but quickly zips her lips as she sees her dad looking as if he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Tell me Y/N's lying," he pleads, "That you're not straight, my fragile ticker can't take this."

"Tony!" Steve shrieked, "Don't use an old ailment to guilt the kids into being gay..."

"Stay out of this babe!" He growled, "As far as I am concerned they're gay. Y/N's a liar."

"Am not!" You gasped, "They're all heteros."

"Not us!" Bryce interjected. "We're queer."

"That's our precious babies," Natasha coo'd, arms opened wide for her kids to run into, and the both of their teens instantly ran at her.

Bucky and Sam had entered your backyard just as the revelation took place. You all watched as they took three steps back, baby carrier in hand as they looked to your kids as if they were all diseased. "We're just being cautious."

You snorted softly, "We understand fellas."

Wanda glared at you, but you remained unfazed for now. Too busy finding the dramatics entertaining to see the horror. Wanda saw it though, she looked out to see all of the kids wearing terrified expressions. She was about to console them, but then a fight broke out beside you, and you had to laugh.

"This is all your fault Kate Belova!" Yelena shrieked, "It was all of that organic mac and cheese you fed them when I was on missions!"

"Mac and cheese being healthy doesn't make a child straight," Kate shrieked back, hands running down her face as she realized her plans for a peaceful barbecue ended with this.

"If it had been orange they might have been more connected to the rainbow Kate!" Yelena went on, "It's like our gay power source."

"Well, with Wanda's garden the kids eat the entire rainbow and look at them, straight."

Yelena found your assistance unwelcome, "Keep out of this Y/N Maximoff. Your kids aren't all old enough to say yet, you still have a chance! Mine are all done... Stupid preteens"

"Well, that's not exactly true," you reasoned, "None of you have been to college yet, that's when you'll really know if you're gay or not."

Natasha, Yelena and Tony all nodded, they found your reasoning the most logical. It was a lot easier than accepting they're all straight.

"Okay, that's enough!" Wanda interjected, her tone terrifying, "Look at what you're doing to them. They can't help it if they're straight."

"I wanna be gay like mama," Ella murmured, clearly she just wanted to fit in with the crowd, and therefore you praised her, "Smart girl."

Wanda entered your mind with a warning, she smirked as you lifted Ella onto your hip, then you fell into unexpected silence by her side.

"Haha, you're like so whipped, "Yelena cackled.

Wanda glared at her. "You don't scare me wiggly woo, my kids being straight is enough."

"Yelena," Kate sighed, "Knock it off, and try telling the girls that you love them."

"Of course I love them," she rushed out angrily, "That's not even a question, they're moy deti."

(My babies)

Celeste and Raina ran into the blondes side, their tears of relief soaked into her shirt, and made her see they were genuinely scared this would lose them her love. "Shh, mama loves you always, even if you make dumb choices."

Tony and Steve were in a standoff of sorts, the billionaire sipped on his margarita slowly as they appeared to be having a conversation with only their eyes. Tony rolled his, but after a moment of incoherent grumbling he nodded. Morgan and Tony Jr. approached their dads after being called forward, Steve embraced them first, and wholly. Tony gave them both side hugs, and whispered that he just needed time to cope, but he loved them regardless.

Then you heard him brush by with his son, begging him to take it back, only to find out his son was in a long term relationship with a girl. That study buddy of his was so much more...

Like father, like son you suppose.

You looked out to see your boys stood side by side, Billy gripped Tommy's hand for dear life. Wanda was about to call them over, but you beat her to it as guilt overwhelmed your heart. The boys scurried over, and Wanda sent you an adoring smile as you kissed the both of their heads, and hugged them tight. "I love you," falling from all of your lips in succession.

After everyone had time to process the news, the vibe returned to one of relaxation. Wanda set up the grill for Sam, and the master chef himself began to put on a show for everyone.

Once the plates were served you all moved to the fire pit, where you talked about all you'd missed in each other's life while the younger kids sat in front of the projector playing Up.

Then, as the sun officially fell, everyone began to clear out. Saying their goodbyes at the front door, where you hugged each kid, an apology of sorts on your lip for the drama you stirred. Each one forgave you, some even thanked you for finally getting the conversation over with.

When everyone was officially gone you moved back outside to clean up. Tommy helped you, while Billy helped clean the kitchen so that Wanda could focus on Ella's bath, and bedtime.

It was an entire hours worth of work, you were beyond exhausted as you fell into the mattress. You nearly passed out without your wife, but soon enough Wanda slipped into the bed. She wore a thoughtful expression, weighing out whether to disturb you or not, but she soon reasoned you'd appreciate her words, "Detka..."

"Yes baby?" You rolled onto your side, using your elbow to prop yourself up so you could look down at her. She looked to you with a warm smile, then she was yawning, "Don't worry." She paused to pull you into her arms before whispering in your ear: "Billy was not being honest. We do indeed have a gay son."

You laughed so hard tears streamed down your face and pooled in the crook of your equally as amused wife's neck. That was the last thing you expected to hear from her, if anything you had anticipated a continuation of her scolding.

"I'll scold you more tomorrow," she teased, "But for now, we should get some sleep."

——

1,844 Words

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sleepymccoy · 3 years

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Okay, I watched Bridgerton!!!! Not only have I not read the books, I didn't know they existed.

I have understood, perhaps erroneously but whatever it's my grasp, that each season is probably gonna be focusing on a different Bridgerton sibling and their romantic pursuits. So I thought it'd be fun to have a punt at my guess for them!!

Under a readmore cos I got rambly and there's spoilers aplenty

Eloise

I want her to have a similar sort of arc to Daphne I think, but much more of her railing against being there. Basically I hope she meets some cad or erudite sort who wants to focus on his studies, not a wife. And they get married to get people to leave them alone. But like, they actually don't fall in love at first sight like Daphne did. I would be happy with a friendship that grows into something more intimate over the season, but not passionate really. I want her to have someone who opens every door that might be closed to her. Also kinda pleasant if he's openly adoring and willing to bend over backwards to give her what she wants, and her growth for the season is recognising that she can't just walk all over him

I doubt this bit will happen, but I have one thing I'd fucking love. I want Benedict to bring her to his queer parties. I think it'd be great fun for Eloise to dress up as a man and run around for a night learning what it could be. I reckon that could turn into her husband sneaking her into university

Penelope

I know she's not a Bridgerton, but she matters to me. I feel like they're setting her up to marry Colin, and I can live with that, but I want to see her being pursued! And adored! I've got two arcs that would sit well with me

One, Colin returns from his gallivanting and is like hot damn on sight and begins courting Penelope pretty much straight away. I feel like her secret identity wouldn't sit well with Colin, he's far too kind to be impressed by that, and I wonder if she would tell him and take the scolding or if she'd just dial it back and eventually stop writing without owning it

Her being poor now puts an interesting spin on it all. I feel like she's gonna develop a lot of resentment and dig her heels in and be quite a cruel Lady Whistledown next season

The other arc, and this one is my preference, is that Colin comes back late for the next season of flirting. He's still insta keen on her, but she's being courted by someone else. This guy is respectful, but a bit of a villain. He doesn't know her secret identity, but he unintentionally encourages it so so much. And drops her hints for new scandals. He's just generally a bad influence, but he sincerely likes her. She starts not interested but lets him court her cos that's what you do and it just means we get to see Penelope on the other side of unrequited love. I reckon he could be a one or two season arc for her until they want to focus on Penelope more, cos it'd keep lady Whistledown harsh and interesting. Then wrap it up a bit with Colin making a move

Benedict

Marry the tailor/dress maker lady whose name escapes me right now, explore life as a happy bisexual man. I want him to marry before Anthony does cos I think there'll be more drama that way. Who will produce good heirs of Anthony is being a romantic with too high standards and Benedict married someone with no name! Scandal! Maybe it's all down to Colin

Anthony

Meet a nice young lady of society who absolutely terrifies him. I want him to get his upper class marriage but I want her to have him by the balls. All of his risidual sexism will be flirted out of him

Colin

My view on the Colin/Penelope thing is different for Colin than it is for Penelope! Cos I think ending up with Colin isnt necessarily the best thing for her, I think she'd do well to mature and find someone who has always treated her as desirable. Colin's kind to her, I don't mean that he scorns her, he's just not keen. Cos they're mates.

But for Colin's story, this is beaut! It can be a wonderful friends to lovers arc and I think may be more realistic to the time than anyone elses. They're both thirdborns I think so there's no stress there, but they'll have a bunch of kids and if Anthony and Benedict don't come through on the blood line, Colin will.

But I do want him to have a fling while he's on his tour

Franchesca

I don't know shit about Franchesca, but I'm keen to meet her. Cos I don't know her, I'll take a guess at a personality. Cos fuck it. I think the sibling dynamic could do with someone very matter-of-fact and sensible. She's committed to a few seasons of courting until she finds someone kind and decent. I reckon it'd be cool to have her in society at the same time as Eloise, and have Eloise raging against the machine while Franchesca is just perfectly reasonable in the background, meeting and trialing and refusing suitors. Then on her season she falls completely ridiculously and dizzily in love with someone that no one approves of, for whatever reason.

And now I just ramble

I am absolutely fascinated in who is now in charge of the Featherington house. I'm sure they'll bring drama. They foreshadowed that pretty heavily and the end of the last ep. But I hope the sisters marry up and out of the situation their parents have left them in. I hope the humility in their position brings them closer as sisters and we start seeing some real support. I also wouldn't mind seeing their mum actually developed a crush on a man. Do widows remarry in regency? I'm sure they do

I think that's everyone. I hope Simon and Daphne come back occasionally and we get updates.

And I'd love to see some flashbacks of the Featherington father, they keep saying the parents were in love and I wanna know about it!

And I'm looking forward to meeting the suitors each season, we learnt a lot about Simon and I hope they keep that level of detail up

And I hope the Queen gets a friend!! Maybe Daphne? Maybe Eloise? Maybe Lady Danbury? I dunno. But I want to see the Queen getting some gossip for herself

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #sleepy speaks #bridgerton theory

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cavehags · 4 years

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1) do you think liam is supposed to be as unlikable as he is in s1? they definitely try to push for sympathy in later seasons but i couldn't really figure out if he's insufferable to be ~relatable~ or if he's just designed to make me hate him. 2) rate lauren's love interests from terrible to even more terrible. 3) which plotline(s) would you most like to scrap if given a chance to rework the show?

All great questions! Thanks!

1) This question has mystified me since the show first aired. Despite Liam’s completely unsympathetic behavior, we get numerous key shots from his POV early in season 1. For instance, when he is trying to have sex with Karma in the car during Homecoming in 1x01, and Karma decides she’s no longer into it and leaves, we cut to Liam checking his breath. This is meant to humanize him. It’s odd, because moments ago he said he’s wanted to have sex with a lesbian for as long as he can remember--a transparently rape-culture-y statement that is never fully interrogated. It’s supposed to be a somewhat relatable joke when we see that Liam thought his breath was to blame and not the creepiness of the sentiment he just expressed. The best I can say is that this was the gay male writers’ best attempt to craft a believable teenage boy, and they simply could not conceive of one who was not creepily misogynistic from the start. Though Liam’s worldview should horrify any women watching, I guess we’re supposed to believe that the writers did not understand just how damaging his behavior really is, and downplayed it accordingly.

Interestingly, Liam is told off for his actions a few times throughout the show, but never for his fetishization of Karma. For instance, in 2x02, Liam throws a bit of a temper tantrum when he learns that Shane knew Amy and Karma were faking and never spoke up. Shane scolds Liam for this overreaction and points out that he’s being myopic and can’t really understand what it’s like for a gay kid who’s just coming out. This is fair game: like every other character on the show, Liam should be learning from his mistakes. So if the writers really wanted to create a sympathetic character arc for a young man like this, they really needed to have someone--probably Lauren, as a girl removed from the situation--explain to him how violent and degrading it is that he’s so hung up on the fantasy of “converting” a woman to desiring him. But they never do, so I guess they just never meant for him to be that bad.

2) God, this is so hard because Liam’s love interests are all so bad. Tommy is an idiot and ignorant about intersex people, but at least he’s Erick Lopez and he’s cute. Liam is a piece of shit, but at least while dating Lauren he’s subjected to the kind of bullying he fully deserves. Theo/Anthony is a cop, and specifically a narc, and worst of all he’s a 20-year-old dating a high school sophomore. So I’m gonna have to go (best to worst) Tommy-->Liam-->Theo/Anthony. Wish I could include Amy in this love interest ranking but the show wasn’t galaxy brain enough :(

3) Oh this is really fun and I wrote a horrifying amount omfg.

First things first, we have to go through the show with a fine-toothed comb and clean up the nastiness toward bi people. Shane makes a lot of biphobic comments that we can just throw away. And Karma’s mom, who currently we learn is bisexual at the end of season two, instead can describe herself as bisexual in season one in a cringey moment when she’s trying to bond with Karma. In a touch of realism, everyone assumes Amy and Karma are “queer” rather than “lesbians” (gotta update this with the times) which explains no one sees any issue with Karma, a queer girl, having a thing for Liam, a guy. I don’t see a way to rehabilitate Liam this way, though, so Liam still fetishizes Karma as a “lesbian,” even though she never uses that word and intentionally keeps it vague.

The character of Reagan is thrown out. Instead, Amy’s first girlfriend is more like that girl Jasmine, whom she met on the dating app Syzzr in season one. Jasmine is a girl from another high school in Austin who also just got over a crush on a best friend. She’s charismatic and mature and does a lot of the initiating in the relationship with Amy, prodding her to assert herself with her mom and embrace feminism more in “Zen and the Art of Pageantry” (we’ll keep that storyline mostly unchanged). Notably absent from her arc is a nastiness toward bi girls. Instead, she’s generous and goal-oriented. She helps Amy establish an identity outside of Karma, but bristles at times when Amy regresses. However, it’s crucial that she’s not jealous of Amy’s bond with Karma; she just wants Amy to be older and wiser than she really is. This highlights the flaw in their relationship: that Amy is still struggling with her self-identity (not her sexual identity!!) and feels like she is always letting her girlfriend down. Amy is the one who decides to break up and she does it because she doesn’t want to feel like a disappointment. They stay in touch, though, and Jasmine/Reagan remains a mentor for Amy throughout the show.

For instance, when Amy finds herself unattracted to Felix (more on him later), Amy goes to Jasmine/Reagan about it, as well as Shane. She can’t figure out why she sometimes feels drawn toward guys even though she knows she doesn’t really like them. Shane thinks Amy is probably bi or pan. Jasmine/Reagan introduces some split attraction model that gives Amy an instant headache. Amy doesn’t think either of those are right. It’s actually a conversation with Lauren and Farrah that helps clarify things for her. Through chatting with her mom and Lauren, Amy is reminded that girls are pretty much trained from birth that their job is to impress and appeal to boys. She realizes there’s a good chance she’s been acting on inertia (this is the way the show simplifies comp het). She settles it once and for all when she goes out and meets a group of other lesbians -- maybe a support group or like an organized social club meetup kind of thing. In the company of these cool and inspiring other women, she realizes that she feels really comfortable with the label “lesbian” after all. Maybe MTV even lets her say the word dyke :)

The episode where the kids have to label themselves, however, is thrown firmly in the trash.

Also in the trash: Amy and Liam sleeping together. Garbage. I think they get angry-drunk together instead and talk about Karma and maybe the tension for season 2a is that they did something more external to hurt her that night, like out her as straight to her parents.

Theo/Anthony is not a cop and there is no mystery surrounding his character. Instead, he’s like a pick-up artist type and plays intentional mind games like negging that Lauren sees through after a while. She dumps him and Shane and Amy help her get revenge on him. At that point, he is fully gone and does not come back.

Duke is also a respectable age. Not much else to do there.

And then the Karmy of it all! We need to see more signs from Karma’s perspective starting in season 2b (after the arrest) that Karma has a real crush on Amy that she’s ignoring. The character of Felix helps with this. He and Amy still go to prom together but Amy concludes that it doesn’t feel right and nothing more happens between them. However, on prom night, Karma finds herself feeling more than just empathy for Felix’s situation - she feels jealous of someone on that date. With Amy’s reluctant blessing, Karma asks Felix out and they start to date, but she finds herself annoyed by his quirks and has no interest in having sex with him. Felix winds up asking Amy what the deal is with Karma and sex. In the meantime, Karma catches herself having the occasional dream about Amy. Amy, who is with Sabrina at this point (I haven’t decided yet if I want to rewrite the Sabrina stuff since I haven’t rewatched s3 yet so let’s go with no for now), is mostly happy to see Karma and Felix together... but when she hears that Karma isn’t sleeping with him, she can’t help but feel hope that whatever motivated Karma to kiss her in the pool that night in 2b might be the reason she doesn’t want to commit to Felix. Karma doesn’t want to admit her confusion to Amy or Shane so has no one to talk to about her feelings except Liam, and miracle of miracles, he is the one who actually nudges her to consider that maybe she’s had a thing for Amy for a while now. She denies that that could be possible, but she’s just not happy with Felix, and at the end of season 3, she tearfully breaks up with him. When Amy comes over to comfort her, we see Amy through Karma’s eyes in a new way. Karma finally has her moment of clarity. End s3.

In season 4, Karma sort of awkwardly tries to court Amy without being obvious about what she’s doing, which has the odd impact of making Amy feel hurt -- is Karma trying to bait her into having feelings again? This results in a fight, and during the fight Karma admits the truth -- that she’s having feelings for Amy and didn’t know how to express them without potentially hurting Amy because of their past. Amy is taken aback, and she’s still with Sabrina, so she does the old “I have to go” routine. But then she talks to either Lauren or Shane or both about what just happened and they prompt her to do a romantic about-face. She races back to Karma and they have a really cinematic first real kiss. The rest of the season that follows is the two of them as girlfriends, trying to navigate being their real selves and also their romantic selves at the same time. They do a lot of cliche romantic things and annoy the crap out of all their friends. They’re also really really happy. In the series finale, Amy and Karma and Lauren and Shane and Shane’s boyfriend all go to Pride or Queer Liberation March or whatever they call it in Austin. Also Liam leaves town for military school :)

#faking it #wow. i have a serious emotional problem

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