Can I fall in lust and love with you?

I can’t advise that.. I’m actually terrible

You were always used to keeping your feelings in. At some point, life taught you to never need anyone. Even when you had me, you never really let me in. I wanted you to, I begged you to, I showed you I was safe, but you couldn’t let me in. And sometimes I thought you liked it that way, but other times I knew it wasn’t you, it was something about me that didn’t make you feel safe, no matter what I did or how much I tried or how much I love you.

The saddest part is, while you never needed me, I never learned how to not need you. Since the day I met you, you were always there. You didn’t let me go, you made me feel safe. I knew I could always come to you, and I always did. But I never knew I’d have to learn how to not need you. I don’t even know if I ever can. You never needed me, but I don’t know how to stop needing you.

And I think, because of this, I’ll always have a void in my heart called you. I’m sure you have it too, but you’re void isn’t me, yours is one you know how to fill. But I only ever had you. And that’s the sad difference between you and I. You never needed me, and I never needed anyone but you.

— S

i miss you so much

Please, for the love of god, please don’t be this person. No matter how long it’s been since an update, no matter how many unfinished stories are sitting on their account, no matter what - do not be this person.

Not only is it insanely rude, but you also do more damage than you think be being such a self-entitled ass about something someone created for free and for fun. “This author” can see what you say.

RIP decency indeed.

changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

Sometimes it just hits me that I’m all alone. I have no friends, no family. No, nothing.

Then I start to cry because one day, I’ll be alone in a house, die in that house, and probably stay there until someone decides to check on me.

I’ll never know what it would feel like to have friends around my hospital bed, if I ended up in hospital again.

I’ll never know what it would feel like to even just hang around with friends.

They don’t bother anymore. Why should I? Why should I bother with them?

They clearly don’t want me in their lives. Then fine, I simply won’t be in it.

Goodbye.

hobby crafts and great and everyone should get into a hobby craft, but I really really really really need people to do at least a little bit of research into what they’re interested in and learn important things such as that fact that polymer clay, air-dry clay, and resin are NOT food safe. yes that includes clay that’s been coated in a clear coat like mod podge (the dishwasher safe mod podge is not food safe)

the reason that some* ceramics are food safe is because glazes melt into essentially a thin layer of glass on the surface, and the clay is heated to a temperature that vitrifies it. and I say some because not all ceramics/glazes/firing temps are food safe, and that’s a whole other deep dive of research for people who get into ceramics. but the point is that most people can’t do that at home, so they look into non-ceramic materials and assume that’s a cheaper and easier way to make food-safe items, when really what’s going to happen is all these materials will leach into your food, especially with heat applied

also can resin creators wear proper PPE with gloves and respirator, I am begging you, that shit is toxic to touch and inhale

The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

I ❤️ self-loathing characters, characters who struggle with monstrosity (either fearing or embracing it), characters who are so lonely, who have a gaping hole in their chest, who bottle up & repress their feelings, who claw their way up & have ambitions, who fall down & lose everything, who search for identity & purpose yet can’t see themselves outside of what others want from or expect of them, who are hurt & hurt others, who long & grieve, who lie & pretend. characters who are messy & flawed & human

Please understand that when I say I grab you, I don’t mean grabbing your face or arm thats rude and creepy please don’t do that to anyone

When I say I grab you I’m saying it like I’m grabbing you like a potato. It’s my way of saying hey I appreciate and respect you let’s be friends

in honor of last season’s poem being called “”end poem”” (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem

GUYS. GIRLS. TUMBLR CREATURES

Kfjfhfjfjfkkvkvkg

I OFFICIALLY HAVE A NEW TABLET NOW

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

It’s an Ipad 9. (I had an Ipad 7 previously and it’s almost dead by now)

And yes, I scrolled all way down my ko fi notifications for these names🧡

It’s amazing oh my god. I don’t have to delete something every time I want to draw to save memory anymore jrjfbfhjgjggk

I dreamt for so long

Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.

it’s currently 2am where i am so technically 4th of april.. Happy 2 Years ISWM !!!!!!!