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#you can give me the shittiest story but if it gives me the feeling of being a wild beast spreading it's furry paws on moist grass

nights-at-crystarium · 9 months

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As a twitter/tumblr user since 2010-2011, I believe I have sufficient grounds to say that currently we as a community are living through the scariest, shittiest time yet. This post isn’t trying to fearmonger, no I’m not leaving tumblr until it literally keels over, but I suggest that we don’t put all our eggs in one basket.

If twitter/tumblr stay usable, great! In the worse scenario, you’d have kept posting on a new platform and stayed ahead of the curve.

This post shares my personal experience with three potential “new”* fandom places, and is aimed to help fellow content creators. I’m an artist fully depending on internet to survive, my reasoning may not apply to you if you’re a hobbyist. Do your own research, it’s always healthy. * Pillowfort and mastodon have been around for 5+ years, bluesky is ~2 years old.

Discovering new people to follow kinda sucks on all three platforms, twitter and tumblr are eons ahead, but, given the recent chaos and uncertainty, I’m willing to be patient, keep posting on those, and feel safer than I would’ve otherwise been. More baskets good, one basket bad.

All three have poor visual customization, don’t expect custom tumblr themes.

This list starts with the least popular, but most human and easy to join, and what I personally trust the most. All three allow nsfw if labeled properly.

✦ Pillowfort is a barebones tumblr. Intuitive, cozy, but currently very, very small. Be patient with its clunkiness or lack of some features, it’s made by an AO3-like team. I’d personally love if the fandom crowd managed to redirect its attention to it instead of the sus bluesky.

Joining: is free, invite-only, but the waitlist is nearly instant.

Lurk around on their official tumblr: @/pillowfort-social

✦ Mastodon, for me personally, is impossible to explain directly. I’ll use several comparisons.

- Discord but all servers can interact. You’re still on a server curated by some human(s) that might tell you what you can and can’t post, BUT, if you don’t like that server’s policy, you can move to a new one while keeping your followers. - Email, users A and B may be registered on different domains, still they can talk. It’s a weird comparison, but fediverse (please I’m not explaining THAT but it’s a good thing) in general looks like another email story: unlike big sites that come and go, it might stand the test of time. - Someone compared mastodon’s structure to xiv’s dc and servers, if you look at its domain names that way, it might be easier to understand.

Depending on user, mastodon may feel gatekeepy/snowflakey. I haven’t spent enough time on there to form a proper opinion yet, but a warning’s due.

An actually good and hopeful thing about mastodon AND tumblr: the two might start interacting in future. Ever lamented that your fav asian artists don’t use tumblr? If they use misskey, or any other place on the fediverse, it might be possible to follow them directly from tumblr in future, and vice versa.

Joining: is free, however some servers close for new members sometimes, and have human moderators reviewing your request.

✦ Bluesky is a twitter without Musk: today’s average internet user reads this, drops everything and already looks to register there. It’s still sus, but people flock to it like crazy. Most likely to become the next big fandom place in my eyes, even if I’m not happy about that.

I personally have no good feelings about bluesky. Same as twitter, which I hated even before the 2018 tumblr exodus, yet the crowd decided to make it The New Fandom Place, and, grudgingly, I had to give up and also join them in 2022. During the year I haven’t stopped despising twitter, yet, I can’t deny that it helped me survive. I estimate half of my patrons, and, hell, even tumblr audience, comes from twitter. So, if bluesky ends up being the next hot shit, I’ll have to keep up because internet pays for my living.

Joining: is free but hell, invite-only, the waitlist is a lie, your best chance to join is a direct invite.

This’s all I’ve got to say for now. If you have a correction or an addition, replies/reblogs are welcome!

Screenshots of the current interfaces under the cut, you may spy on my profiles o/

Pillowfort

Mastodon.art

Bluesky

#i grabbed a name on cohost and inkblot too but those interfaces instantly turned me away #also i'm not covering the mobile apps since i'm a pc-only user #social media #pillowfort #mastodon #bluesky #text post #long post #this already started making rounds but i wanted to add about algorithms #all three seem to have no algorithm atm #only 100% about pillowfort tho

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promnightbinbaby · 4 months

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Princess And The Pea

This is a little story i thought about after i put my kids to bed lmao. i never really see Theodore stories in a darker kind of way.

ima Theo girly till the day i die but i reaaaalllly cant help but dulge into Mattheo fics every now and again so i thought why not do a little bit of a poly? maybe a three-way fuck session every now and again maybe idk. just bare in mind this is my first ever fic and it might not make sense but yanoe when your falling asleep and trying to do your scenario and no one is doing what they're meant to be doing? yeah just think of that when you read it cos that's how it feels. LOL.

So this is the beginning. i always love the ideo of a possesive boyf so i wanted to see how it would go down with a possesive boyf knowing someone wants his girl, and when i read poly fics i always wonder how it first starts? like surely it doesnt go smoothly.

i also gave reader a knickname cos i like using a knickname rather than y/n cos we dont know her.

ANYWAY welcome to my first shittty fic. enjoy also follow me or ill cry.

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Pairings: Theodore Nott x Reader with the starting of Mattheo riddle x Reader

Warnings: Violence/blood.

obvs aiming for more parts which will get quite dark.

This is sort of 2010 vibes era.

PART ONE.

The Beginning.

When me and Theodore Nott began seeing each other it was in the beginning of third year. We had been friends since we first met in first year while waiting for us to be sorted into our houses, and even though i was sorted into Ravenclaw and he Slytherin we remained friends, until one day i realised how bright his eyes are, how his laugh makes butterflies erupt in my stomach and how I'm never truly happy and always feel as I'm missing something unless I'm with him. That's when i realised i was and to this day completely devoted to Theodore Nott.

When i grew the bollocks to tell him it was the day he had been avoiding me all day and came barrelling in my dorm room declaring his love for me after having his first fire whisky.

Since then we have been inseparable.

But three years have past since then and even though me and Theo are as good as ever and forever feeling like we are in our honeymoon faze, it seems like happiness doesn't last forever. Its seems like we have a rock in our shoe, named Mattheo riddle.

It started at the weekly Slytherin party, we had all been downing shots of fire whisky and I bought shitty glens vodka because that’s the only alcohol I could afford to bring to school in the new year. Me Blaise, Pansy, Theo, Mattheo, Draco and Enzo was all sat around the fire place playing 3 truths and a lie, it had all been going swimmingly until it was Mattheo’s turn.

“Right, yes yes ha ha so funny that I ended up walking around with an extremely tanned face and pale body” Enzo had the palms of his hands tightly attached to his eyes reminiscing the moment his little sister had put tanning moisturiser in his normal tub of moisturiser all because he rejected her friend. But in his defence he was 15 at the time and his sisters friend has only just turned 11 the day before.

“Yes but I can remember it like it was yesterday, I can still picture Blaises face” Draco was actually struggling to put a sentence together, both from howling with laughter and because of how much of my vodka he had drank , even though he turned his nose up at a muggles drink the first time I brought it in 4th year but he’s the one that gives me the money for it at the end of every year, even though it’s the cheapest shittiest vodka you can buy but after convincing him to taste it by telling him it’s what all the muggle billionaires drink, I can’t give up the lie now.

“Mate when I first seen him i was ready to knock the shit out of him, I really thought he was doing blackface” Blaise said rolling his eyes with his spliff hanging out of the corner of his mouth, pansy who was under his arm with her leg draped over his crotch snatched it out of his mouth with her delicate fingers, she took a long drag “yeah it was around the same time Y/N showed him Kayne, you couldn’t blame Blaise for the way he reacted Enz you really did become obsessed with Kanye”

“The man’s a lyrical legend, I’ve told smell this before but I’ve written her in my will just because I can’t see my life without him now? You know? I can’t see my life before she showed me him, it’s like I didn’t exist, like I was a…nobody”

Everyone just sat there looking at Enzo after that, i slowly looked to my side to already see Theo looking at the other side of the room with a look of anger in his face, i couldn't really see who he was looking at as the room was so Smokey. "What you looking at bear?" Theo started to pull me closer by my side bringing me into is armpit, he brought his chin to rest on my head, in a way from anyone's point of view id of looked quite stupid, looking like i was getting a whiff of Theos armpit. But he was doing this in a way to be possessive, keeping me from being seen. "Nothing smell just keeping you close, don't want you disappearing on me." He said while pulling my skirt further down my thigh.

"its your turn Mattheo, three truths and a lie" Pansy said while blowing smoke out of the corner or her mouth.

As i turned my head to get out of Theos armpit, Mattheo suddenly sat up like he was snapped out of a trance, i heard Theo grunt next to me for a second but dismissed it.

"Hm okay, my first lie would be i slept with my second cousin, my second would be i jumped into the black lake and a mermaid tried to pull my boxers down, my third is in third year i stalked Mcgonagall for 3 months until i found out her routine of when and where she would turn into her cat form so then i could kidnap her and blackmail her until she let my bring my dog next year. My forth one would be that im so fucking hopelessly in love with my mates bird that i-"

And like that the room went into a frenzy, Theo jumped up and went straight over the table instantly punching Mattheo, Blaise and Draco are up before Mattheo even finished ready to pull Theo back and Enzo is sat giggling to himself "i knew it would come out tonight, the second Matt took the pills of the twins i just knew tonight would end like this." Pansys screaming at the boys to pull him back but every time Draco gets hold of Theo he lets out an animalistic noise and go straight for Matts face again.

"You fucking piece of shit, i bloody knew it. For the past 6 month ive been noticing you staring at her like you want to eat her" Another punch. " Do you honestly think id ever let you go near her mate, your a fucking dead man sitting." Theo gets his wank out of his pocket "AV-" Blaise pulls Theo by his hair until he's laid on the floor on top the broken glass. "smell come and fucking sit on your fella before he kills him please gorgeous." Theo starts trying to get up, "why the fuck is everyone taking this as an opportunity to flirt or declare their love to my girl what the fuck."

I slowly rise from my seat, i didn't realise id totally frozen in my seat not knowing what to do, i nod my head at Blaise and start moving towards him and Theo, i glance quickly at Mattheo to see he's already staring at me, he's soaked in blood with cuts all over his face and two black eyes appearing already.

i slowly sit on Theos crotch and hear a breath hitch behind me. Theo looks at me and i just smile and move my hair behind my ear as i bend down towards his neck to whisper in his ear. "Please don't do anything stupid, lets just go to bed Bear please I'm tired anyway this weeds making me feel like shit, lets go have a shower and watch one of them dodgy DVDs yeah?"

Theos looking at me as i sit up, hes angry but not even a glint of maliciousness in his gaze is directed at me though, it never has been, he will always redirect and blame his anger on someone else other than me. "Yeah..Yeah alright lets go, shit party anyway" He says as he sits up, id not noticed how the whole room was silent, even the 4th years was stood still watching the scene unfold.

Theo stood up grabbing my hand pulling me past Draco and Enzo, they patted him on back as we walked past and Draco gave me a half arsed smile and a wink. We was walking past Mattheo just as Blaise smacked him across the top of his head "fucking idiot always like to destroy things around you."

The tip of my foot had only just touched the first step up to Theos dorm when i heard Mattheo call my name.

"y/n, please just hear me out, don't walk away from me please." My breathe cut short in my throat when hearing my name, no one calls me by my name, not even the teachers nor Dumbledore i haven't heard my name since first year after the twins pulled a joke meant for Pansy but ended up stink bombing the toilet i was sat in while skiving, i couldn't get the smell out my hair for a fortnight.

Theo suddenly let go of my hand and went straight for Mattheo again but Enzo managed to get Infront of Theo before he got to him. "You really don't get it do you, Matt, i fucking swear on mine and smells future child's name i will fucking kill you if you even breathe near her after this mate. You knew this would happen, so if you really loved her" Theo said while pulling a face of disgust at him like saying that sentence was the worst thing he's ever had to say. " You wouldn't have said anything, because you know how i am with her, you knew i wouldn't let you near her again, so if you actually love her how you seem to think you do you wouldn't have mentioned a word just so you could still be near her. But no you fucked that up now dickhead." Theo turned slightly to face Enzo "he's a fucking tosser, he aint even fucking looking at me" he said then kissed his teeth turning to walk back to me.

And he was right, Mattheo hadn't even glanced at Theo, not in shame no. Because he hadn't taken his eyes off me.

I hadn't realised i was shaking until Theo came back to me and grabbed my chin. "Come on baby lets go yeah?" i slowly nodded my head and grabbed his hand, i must have grabbed my wand at some point because once i felt it i muttered "Scourgify" under my breathe and listened to the mess being cleaned up behind me, i couldn't let Draco threaten the third years into cleaning up the mess that Theo had left behind.

#fanfic #harry potter #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #enzo berkshire #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader

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reds-skull · 5 months

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Not Alive, Nor Dead

[PREV PART] [AO3]

This is an extremely short chapter because I had to finish it in a cliffhanger. Don't worry, I won't let you suffer too long, writing the next one right after posting this :D

The early morning sky shines through the helo windows, brightening by the minute.

Ghost, Soap and Gaz have gotten to their transport after a small debrief confirming all the details of the mission. Their main objective is to find a connection from the anonymous PMC to the international human trafficking rings. Secondary objective is to rescue the two revenants El Sin Nombre gave them at the party.

Ghost mentally goes over the layout of the abandoned mall. Gaz will be combing through the top floor, the roof of the building eroded with time, letting the Sergeant fly in easily. Soap and Ghost will search the ground floor, starting at opposite ends.

He got authorization to use Limbo from Shepherd, as always, but while the mall is huge, it would be extremely risky to use it with the two Sergeants in the building.

If Johnny wasn’t a Limbo magnet, perhaps he would’ve considered it. But with his little problem, along with potential kidnapped targets, Ghost will once again have to rely on his non-supernatural abilities. That is, unless a very unlikely opportunity presents itself, and he can be sure all friendlies are secure.

The Sergeants have been discussing their powers for the past who knows how long.

“I think the worst time I used them was on a skyscraper, got knocked unconscious and came to while falling off, thought I would die again”, Gaz snickers. Ghost remembers the mission - Garrick was shaking and unresponsive when he dropped to the ground. He’s heard the story only about 50 times now.

Soap smiles, albeit forced, and turns to the window to contemplate.

“What about you, mate? What’s the worst you’ve had to heal from?” Gaz inquiries gently.

The Scot starts playing with the flames burning from his fingers, “losing legs always sucks, but the shittiest I had to deal with was a bullet to the head.”

Ghost stiffens, Garrick’s brows furrow, “fuck, how does that feel like?”

“Depends on where you get shot.” Johnny shrugs, raising a hand to his nape, “here it would paralyze me, till the wound heals at least.” the hand lifts to the back of his head, “hind brain could make me blind”.

He brushes through his hair, following the warhawk, “middle is a lot of things, memory, speech, can make me act like I’m… a child basically.”

Soap stops at his forehead, tapping it once, “and frontal lobe… that’s where yer personality is. How ye control yer movement and speech.”

The cabin is quiet for several long minutes, the howling wind and his fast beating heart a soundtrack for Ghost’s spiraling thoughts.

“How many times you got shot in your head…?” Gaz asks, the concern and horror palpable in his voice.

Johnny’s eyes are lost far in memories when he answers. “Once. Straight on.” He laughs, something broken about it, “it felt like I would never be myself again.”

No one said a word for the rest of the flight.

Gaz hops off first, not waiting for the helo to land before jumping down towards a large hole in the mall’s ceiling.

Soap goes next, getting off near the south exit of the building. He turns back to give Ghost a dazzling smile, thawing some of the ice built up in his veins, before squaring his shoulders and entering.

Ghost is taken to the north entrance, the chopper barely touching the ground before lifting off back to Los Vaqueros base. He takes stock of the mall, the wide windows haphazardly covered by tarp. There are no guards outside, and the doors are open.

He would consider himself lucky if he wasn’t suspicious of things appearing so deceptively easy. He checks his silenced pistol one last time before making entry.

The shopping mall is unnaturally empty, almost like Ghost walked in and everyone disappeared, stores still full of inventory.

He clears them one by one, half listening to the Sergeants do the same.

“Place gives me the creeps, are they feckin’ hidin’ from us?” Johnny mutters.

Ghost is reminded by what the Vaqueros said, that the PMC might have a revenant in their ranks helping them disappear. The store he’s standing in could be full of soldiers hidden by strange powers, and he would be none the wiser until they strike him down.

His eyes itch to close. If only he could use his powers safely… no matter how hidden any person is, no one escapes Limbo.

No one except the Scot currently complaining in his ear.

Ghost stops dead in his tracks and drops to a crouch when he hears footsteps. Not a second later a man walks by the store he’s in. The soldier is in a shaded part of the mall, the lights long gone, and Ghost can’t make out the details of his uniform, but he sees the rifle in his hands damn well.

“Got a hostile walking by, taking him down.” Ghost mutters into his radio before stalking closer to the soldier. He needs him dead, can’t risk going forward with a threat at his six.

He notices a mask on his face, an eerily similar look to the PMC he and Garrick observed in Sweden.

Ghost lines the shot at the man’s head, and the silenced bullet slices through the air, going right into his target.

He waits for the body to drop, and time seems to slow to a halt.

The soldier’s head, a hole clearly shining through it, turns agonizingly slowly towards him. Ghost feels his eyes widen, his focus pinpointed on the soldier’s features. What he saw was no mask. On a blank face, smooth, dripping darkness, a maw stares at his direction.

“Ghost, how copy?” Johnny whispers in his ear after he has gone dark for too long.

He watches the soldier search for whoever put the bullet in his head, moving, not dropping dead.

He lifts a hand to press the button on the comms, unable to take his eyes off the… thing currently hunting for him, “they’re not human”.

“Ghost, repeat your last-”

The creature snaps its gaze to something on the floor, and bends down to pick it up.

“The soldiers, the PMC, they’re not bloody human.”

The object shines as the thing rises, light catching on it, and Ghost recognizes his own bullet.

Soap answers confusingly, “I’m seeing three right here, they look human.”

The soldier’s head snaps forward, away from Ghost’s position. South.

Gaz’s voice comes through, “What the - they all saw something on my end. Soap, did you get spotted??”

“No! They just-”

Far off gunshots cut Johnny off, the monster in front of him now running at inhuman speed south.

“Soap! They’re going for you, RUN!” Ghost shouts at his Sergeant, finally revealing himself and shooting at the running soldier. He empties a whole clip before it drops dead, sizzling and melting to the floor.

Garrick calls in, “they’re not fucking dying! Soap, what’s your status?!”

Static and shots fill the line for a second, before Soap responds, “-too many– can’t– Limbo—”, the radio cutting off as he runs.

Johnny wants him to use Limbo?!

“Sergeant, get as far as you can from the mall!”, Ghost barks, starting to run the other way, “Garrick, search for the revenants, path should be clear of hostiles, clear the floor and get out!”

Gaz sounds frantic when he objects, “sir, I can get Soap out of there, just need to reach him-”

“Negative, someone needs to look for the targets-”

“-but sir-!”

Ghost growls, holding on his radio so hard he can hear the plastic cracking, “that’s an order, Sergeant. Is that clear?”

Gaz is quiet for a moment, “...yes sir”.

Ghost resumes his mad dash north, his rib cage vibrating from his heart. He wants nothing more than to save Johnny, but he needs to finish the mission.

Explosions echo through the abandoned building, each a booster for his feet. His Sergeant isn’t weak, he tells himself, he tries to wholeheartedly believe, but the fear flowing within him refuses to accept that.

“Ghost!”, Garrick snarls, “found the revenants, extracting them now!”

Johnny tries communicating again, his voice desperate and out of breath, “-do it–far—NOW!”

Ghost slides to a stop, closing his eyes with a scream.

Limbo rushes to replace the empty walls of the mall, and Ghost feels his muscle tense, almost snapping with the struggle to reign the realm in. He feels the soldiers get swallowed by it, his victims dragging them off to rip and tear and melt them into nothing.

He counts from 5.

The victims eat away all that comes through, the soldiers disintegrating into smoke.

4…

Shrieks bellow from the residents of the void.

3…

His hands start shaking, the light around him flickering, letting in the eternal sharp cold of Limbo.

2…

His victims stop, a quiet falls on them. They look towards the distance, an excitement washes over the not-dead.

1…

Ghost shuts his eyes, gathering back Limbo just as it rushes to consume Soap. He is knocked back by the sheer force of it, Limbo fighting to stay open.

He lays there, shaking, feeling sweat track down his body. His muscles convulse violently, and he lifts an unsteady arm to his comms.

“Soap… how copy…?”

The silence that fills the air cuts through him more than the freezing lands he has reign over.

“Garrick?”

“Ghost, revenants secure, I’m good.” the Sergeant lets out uneasily, “I don’t- haven’t seen Soap, sir.”

He gets up, legs uncooperative, “call for exfil, I’ll look for the Sergeant.”

He hears a shaky breath from Gaz, “Ghost, there might not be a body to find after-”

“He is not. In. Limbo.” Ghost snarls, veins so cold his blood feels frozen.

Johnny isn’t there. He can’t be. He CAN’T.

Ghost almost falls back to the ground, stabilizing himself on a wall.

His breath is heavy and loud, panting like a fucking rabid dog, teeth bared under the skull mask.

He walks forward, in search of a flickering flame, a silly warhawk.

A warm smile to liquefy his blood once more.

Sorry not sorry haha

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sixstepsaway · 6 months

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right, so, here are my Thoughts about that whole thing now i've slept on it. probably won't be super coherent but here we go

i feel bad for stede. he got shoved, somehow, into the weird love interest role so many female characters find themselves in, where they are truly completed by a man and a romance not the things they've been striving for throughout the series so far. he's shown no sign of wanting to give up the pirate lifestyle he's just finally got back, and to accompany him giving that up with izzy's gorgeous "piracy is about family and somewhere to belong" speech from earlier just feels cruel. we joke about how episode 2 stede wouldn't care if lucius died but that changed, he got attached, his crew became his family. they were loyal to him and followed him even when they were just working at spanish jackie's for pennies. they respected him and loved him enough to let him talk them into letting ed back on board. this was, at least at this point in stede's arc, his happy ending. in fact, you can even argue he was happy without ed for a while at the start of this episode. his relationship with ed is important and it's icing on the cake, but it isn't something to complete him, or his only source of happiness -- nor should it be!!! and then for some reason ed shows back up, fishes up his leathers, kicks ass to save him, loses izzy and now they're leaving stede's ship and crew and found family to... run an inn made out of the world's shittiest fixer-upper? stede? stede twirly fancypants bonnett??? in that place? maybe at the end of a full run this might have felt like a good conclusion to his story, him realizing he wanted belonging, not necessarily to be a pirate, and maybe them bringing some of crew along to have their home somewhere safer and happier than the piracy they don't really enjoy but turn to because they have no other choice, but right now it just feels like... honestly like either he agreed to it to keep ed with him ("AITA for convincing my boyfriend to run an inn with me after leaving him two days ago because we were moving too fast? little backstory: this involved my boyfriend leaving everything in his life for me and no i did not apologize for running off to become a fisherman") or like, as i said up there, a matter of "actually all he needed was a BOYFRIEND all along" which... ngh. stede is more than his relationship.

idk why we bothered establishing that frenchie, jim and even archie were willing to put their lives on the line and lie to ed's murderous face to save izzy's life just for them to be stone-faced and have no feelings about his loss. like, okay, ed and he's stories are tied together and him dying in ed's arms makes more sense narratively than him dying in anyone else's, but also ed hadn't earned that and izzy deserved to die in the arms of someone who hadn't tried to kill him and shot him in the leg not to mention we went from fang's squishy hug and frenchie holding his hand to just... nothing? not a thing? roach, the ship's surgeon, did nothing to try and save him? it's just ed slapping his gunshot wound pathetically?

it strongly feels like they swapped izzy and ed's roles in his death scene sounds stupid but hear me out "you're my only family" would make so much more sense coming from izzy with ed dying in his arms. izzy's desperation to keep hold of ed, right down to accidentally pushing him down the kraken path at the end of season 1, being rooted in the feeling that ed is all he has in the world? ed responding that no, the crew love izzy. he's earned their love. he has a family outside of ed now, can't he see that? that makes so much more sense, considering izzy nearly died for them multiple times and spent the first few episodes trying to protect them and then being protected by them in kind he was their new unicorn!!! meanwhile ed said sorry to fang, izzy and lucius, and no one else has been shown to give any fucks about him since that whole thing, and like... rightly so? because he hadn't earned them back at all? and he fucked off on them too last episode lol dont forget he didnt JUST leave stede

we should have known better than to trust djenks when he broke jim and olu up for no reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

nothing worth a damn happened this episode it was all running around and waving swords. idk how anyone got to where they were at the end. it was just poor writing.

the pacing has been off all season but they really shoved three episodes into one and hoped it'd work

i'm getting flashbacks to the timeless ~finale~ ugh

they spent so much time one ed's stupid fishing boat monologue instead of on ANYTHING ELSE

i ran out of thoughts

oh, here's another: the show walked a line between muppetry and things that were taken seriously lucius' finger, izzy's toes: serious ed getting bonked by a cannonball: emotionally serious, but not physically serious ed and stede both getting stabbed: not serious and what was treated as serious and what was treated as handwavy was dictated by what the storyline and the emotional needs were izzy getting shot to make it so they all had to run away yapping would have been hilarious, especially if he got back to the ship and went "nah eddie it's my left side, remember what i told you about the left? nothing important on the left" "your liver" <- roach, horrified but instead weird death scene because this was treated as physically serious, even though it...should not have been, really? and that is bothering me a lot too, because when lucius was thrown to his death, we looked at stede finding the crew on the island and went, "aha! lucius will be fine, because that's what the show logic is" and we were right, because the show had taught us that but that didn't extend to izzy for this and that's just weird

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #izzy hands

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spaceyflowerswriting · 1 year

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💬 Continuation to Eugene's text one if you can please.... also i decided tht can the sender be like a close, really close friend of eugene and yuseing that goes to the same school and knows what shit he does (i am trying so hard to not make an actual story for this seriously, i feel like i will and ship this y/n and eugene hard🥲)

》Oi foureyes! I have some spare so tell me!

》please damnit! Tell me...

》 Even tho i have known you for ages you only eat/ drink things me or yuseong choose

》 you never tell us your preferences! Like 'just choose whatever yoh want I'll payand eat whatever it is' and you actually eat even the shittiest of combo i could come up with!

》 Also you know i met this guy in our school named yeonwoo and he might be your tripket y'know, you might know him he is good looking, smart, on top of his classes, wears glasses like you and is actually quite famous, a newtuber.

》 I think i like him... he also has a good personality unlike someone... he is really nice as well

》actually you know what if you don't wanna hang out this weekend should i ask him out for a date?

》 before you say anything like 'go get him a gift and leave me alone'

》 i already did and bitc* please you knew what you were getting yourself into when you became my friend now deal with it.

》 You have to deal with it. No other options

》 also can i get that hot guy's no. Who is always with you, the one with the nice personality, the 3rd and 4th affiliate prez i think?

》 oh, and that weird mask one whose hair are blond and is always with neko

[Eugene will be grumbling about his phone notifs going off cause of this and that is what y/n wants]

(Can i have a jealous eugene and yuseong....? And you can decide whether eugene likes the reader or not, or whether yuseong likes her or not)

[a/n: omg if u do end up writing a story please tag me !! i would love to read it <3]

"That's funny. President Eugene always lectures us about keeping our phones on silent mode and yet his phone isn't."

After turning said silent mode on in his phone, Eugene slowly turned his head to smile at Eli. "Yes, well, this is a one time mistake. Why don't you try to remember to keep your remarks to yourself?"

The sharp tension stayed in the room even as the meeting continued, so when the meeting ended, it left Eugene in a somewhat bitter mood.

He decided to check who was texting him so much earlier, only to see it was you.

"What nonsense are they texting me now...?" As he read through the texts, he was originally amused but then began to feel... well, he refused to acknowledge the j-word. It was a childish emotion to him.

Softly exhaling, he texted back:

I have a nutritionist and whatnot on hand, I swear to you I eat well. You don't have to worry and my preferences mean little because often you and Yuseong pick things I like. Just continue what you're doing.

And about that boy... we may be similar in many ways but I've paid no attention to him. Also, no need for snarky remarks, I've had enough for the day.

You must know me so well if you knew I was going to reply, "Get him a gift and leave me alone." Just go on that date.

I'm glad we're such good friends you're happy to be insufferable towards me. And no, I'm not giving you the numbers of any of my subordinates.

Before Eugene closed out of his conversation with you, he felt a tap on his shoulder and just noticed Yuseong, who apparently had been quietly peering over his shoulder this whole time.

"What is it?" he asked his twin, who just frowned. It didn't take him long to realize why, and oddly enough he felt the slightest tinge of that j-word again. "Oh. If you're sad about our friend going on that date, feel free to make plans with them so they can't go. I can get you time off, if that's what you want."

Upon hearing his words, Yuseong eagerly nodded and Eugene took a mental note of it. Maybe he should hang out with you, too... but he didn't want to interrupt Yuseong, and he still had work to do. Another day, he supposed.

#lookism x reader #eugene x reader #texts #sorry this got long i had a lot to reply to lol

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scoonsalicious · 5 days

Note

I’m gonna be honest but seriously for the first time i thought about how i would react if i was Bucky. surprisingly I’m not mad at him anymore. Tbh if my boyfriend set me couple rules and told me they give me a second chance after i did something bad and THEN i saw them(is their pov an article) that he and MY best friend are hooking i would be fucking furious and in the heat of the moment maybe would do the same.

Like why would you give me hope when you gonna vividly cheat??in the chapter it said the photos looked like they were kissing so it was like a solid proof of cheating and given Steve interest in her i honestly don’t blame Bucky. Give him a break that guy went to hell and back. And then found the shittiest coping mechanisms to deal with his trauma which only hurt him more and then seeing his golden best friend with his gf? Every sane human can see Bucky never actually were interested in jade he just kinda used her to act like he is a normal man that can be actually wanted and not just someone with troubled past that many would want to nothing to do with.

And pocket should be off mission . She is unstable and an addict at this point and needs therapy, her boyfriend and a hug.

And it’s funny i always thought Bucky is the most realistic character in marvel and i feel the same with him in your story.

Love your writing you make them seem so real that all of us get lost to it for a min🤍

Jesus Christ, thank you so much! That is exactly where he was coming from! Like, he tried-- he really did. He was doing what Pocket wanted, he was staying away. And then Carthage is just.. thrust upon him. And he does the right thing. He tells Pocket, immediately, and lets her know what's up, he talks about it with her, gets her advice, and they come up with this gameplan, together-- he will only speak Jade about the mission. And then! Just a few hours later, those articles. For him, it looked like she (Pocket) couldn't wait for him to be out of the country. I didn't explore it in-story (so much stuff that I make up doesn't end up in-story, lol), but one of the things I had had him think about was wondering if Pocket faked being sick so she could stay behind. It's literally his worst fear come to life, after he felt like a failure for not keeping through on his promise to stay away from Carthage. He felt he was being punished, and so he made a stupid, angry decision to get back at her. It's dumb, but he's flawed. He's never wanted Jade (she IS the Unwanted in Unwanted, lol).

And Pocket should definitely be off mission. I can promise it's not going to last much longer (hell, the whole fic isn't going to last much longer ::weeps::), but there's maybe only two days of the mission left.

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taestefully-in-luv · 2 years

Text

Love Again | PJM (Ten)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (????!!!!!????!!!!), lots of making out, getting naked, slight breast play, oral (fem rec.) slight overstimulation, boner, aftercare, mention of oral (male rec) lots of crying, mention of multiple orgasms, mention of throwing up

Notes: hehe hope you like this chapter and what’s to come. I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3 Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:)

Tag list: @yoongimentita7 @rjsmochii @aria-grace-scott @ravensading @shrimpmsg @phossmos @ceyoongs @btsis7okay @loljrau @ggukkieland @forever-once-gone @taejoonswifey @awseokjin @telepathytae @jikooksgirl19 @koreanaestheticc @shesoldbutcute @mawwnsterr @dopedreamfireparty @bri-mal @callmejimmeo @bloopkook @ncizen @natalie-rdr @familiarlikemymirror3 @theestrangeddreamer @chimchimmarie @sugas-baby-girl @greezenini @somewhereinthestarss @keiarajm @80sbass @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @heem145 @vonvi-blog @minijagiya @nadzzzblog @tannieastrology @emilypark01 @katjimout @curioughts @jjksnoonamess @pinkseokchim @bobateajiminie @missseoulite @rinkud @raye94

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s really not a moment where you aren’t thankful that it is Friday. You could be having the shittiest day of your life but when you suddenly remember it is Friday therefore the weekend is here you are like, wait, I am feeling a moment of gratitude. That’s kind of what you are experiencing right now actually. Today sucked—work wise—and you’re so happy it is ending.

You’re finally wrapping things up on your computer before you’re finally turning it off and cleaning up around you so you can head home and get ready for your date with Namjoon tonight.

“So,” You hear Hoseok’s voice from beside you, “Tonight’s the night, huh?”

“Huh?” You glance over at him and he’s already wiggling his brows at you like you need to get his hint.

“Tonight’s the night.” He repeats.

Your eyes stay on him before you release a long breath and nod at him.

“You know, I’d actually believe you were excited if you would at least smile.” He tells you, rolling his eyes before closing down his own computer.

“Right.” You sigh, your mind going back to a couple days ago when you two shared a conversation similar to this.

“Ugh, it smells like you.” You tell Hoseok, the purple hoodie pulled up into your nose, giving it a big whiff.

“Don’t act like that’s not like your favorite scent! You guys are always talking about how great I smell and suddenly it’s a problem?!”

“Hm.” You sniff the hoodie again. “Fine, top 3 favorite.”

“Who the hell is the other 2?” Hoseok gasps at you, “Okay, maybe your mom is one…and…hmm, I’ll keep my other guess to myself.”

You lower the hoodie from your nose and narrow your eyes at him.

“Anyway,” Hoseok leans back on his sofa, “Speaking of Jimin—”

“—Who mentioned Jimi—”

“—I’m sure he told you all about how drunk we got last night.” Hoseok shakes his head while chuckling. “And—”

“Wait, huh?” You blink at your best friend and he blinks back. Once. Twice.

“Wait, huh, what?”

“Wait, huh, what? What?”

“That’s what I’m asking you!” He yells.

“No, I’m asking you that! I said, wait, huh!”

“And I said wait, huh, what?”

“Yeah, but I’m saying what to your what for my wait huh—”

“Just tell me what the hell you are asking!” “You guys hung out last night?” You mumble, “You and Jimin?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Hoseok questions, his eyebrows rising. “Surprised. But yeah.”

“You guys hung out without me?!”

“Do…do we need you there?” Hoseok asks innocently, eyes wide as he seems genuinely curious. “Anyway, yeah. He came over last night when he and Taehyung came by so Taehyung could pick up Dae so they could leave. Jimin ended up staying for a while—the night actually—we decided to drink and got drunk. His idea. Good dude, good dude.” Hoseok nods in approval.

You grab your phone from your pocket, unlocking the screen until you’re in your messages and then you pout. Like a baby. “He still hasn’t even texted me back…” You admit. “I sent a text yesterday asking how he’s doing and stuff…but nothing.”

“Maybe…” Hoseok’s head rolls back into the cushion, staring up at the ceiling with his bottom lip stuck between his teeth. “…maybe he’s just embarrassed about getting so mad yesterday…about the whole Lucy thing.”

“Maybe…” You nod hesitantly, “But speaking of Lucy—”

“Unfortunately she actually was mentioned, huh?”

“Hoseok!”

“Kidding, kidding…I guess.”

“So, have you tried reaching out to her?” You ask, suddenly bringing the hoodie back to your nose.

“Nope. Have you?”

“No…”

It’s quiet for a moment longer than you’d like, you know you should say something but the whole situation feels strange…like there’s too many pieces and people involved. Hoseok, your best friend, being one of them.

“How are you feeling? About yesterday?” You finally ask.

“Good.” He tells you simply, his eyes still on the ceiling. “I wasn’t lying yesterday. I really am okay. I would rather have answers than to be confused and wondering every second of the day where I stand…it’s better like this.”

“I get that.” Your voice is slightly muffled thanks to the hoodie, “But…I’m a little confused.”

“About?” Hoseok lowers his head to meet your eye.

“I’m not fully convinced that she doesn’t have feelings for you, I guess. I was so sure…”

“Doesn’t matter. Even if she does…look at everything, y/n. She’s not my fated one, don’t you think?” Hoseok laughs a little and you can’t help but drop the hoodie from your face and show him a cracked smile.

“Okay.”

Hoseok leans his head back on the sofa cushion again, “Oh! So, Friday!”

“Friday?”

“Date with Namjoon?” His eyes close but he smiles. “Excited?”

“Yeah.” You lean back as well, “It’s been a while it feels like. After this week we’ve had, I need his energy!” You chuckle and Hoseok joins you, agreeing right away.

“And Emiko promises she won’t need him for anything. No interruptions.” You grin to yourself, “I think it might be the night we…”

“You…?”

“You know.” You bring the hoodie over your nose again and do a cute little villain laugh.

“Wow, the night is finally coming! And hopefully so will y—”

“Hoseok!”

“I’m just a little nervous!” You tell Hoseok as he gathers some things from his desk, “It’s just…it’s been a while…” You whisper that last part.

“Now that I think about it…” Hoseok whips his head up to look at you, “It has been a while…and the last time sucked, right? You didn’t…you know.”

“Unfortunately that is a fact. I did not…you know.”

“Wow…and also, according to Taehyung your sex drive is crazy. Apparently you and Jimin didn’t understand you guys could just watch a movie without it—”

“How about we stop getting information from Taehyung?” You blink at him with a straight face.

“Oh my god…you’re probably so deprived…dick deprivation…that can’t be good…”

“Shut up!” You groan and he starts laughing to himself. “So annoying.”

“Ah, but you know, don’t be nervous. Things will happen the way they’re meant to.” Hoseok grabs his phone from his desk and stuffs it into his pocket, his head nodding towards the exit so you two can leave. “Just relax. Don’t overthink and I promise things will occur naturally.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Is a dress too much? Well, it is easy access and you are trying to seduce…wait, no. Naturally, naturally…things will happen naturally. But you’ll still stick with the dress since it is very cute and you look great, you would have to admit.

Namjoon should be here any minute to pick you up. You make your way into your living room and take a seat while scrolling on your phone, nothing interesting going on but you’re bored. Maybe a few more minutes pass by when there’s some very soft knocking on your front door, your head lifting up towards the door and away from your phone. He must be here, you think. Small butterflies that flutter lightly in excitement go flying in your stomach, you rise from the couch and make your way to the door.

Looking through the peep hole, you confirm it is Namjoon standing outside and you’re already drooling over how handsome he looks even though it barely counts as a view. You open the door and when your eyes meet his he quite literally gasps.

“You…” His eyes dance across your form before he smiles softly. “You look so beautiful.”

“Hi.” You squeak out and he chuckles.

“Hi.” He responds quickly, leaning forward and planting a kiss on your forehead. He starts leaning away from you when you pull him in closer and your lips land on his for a kiss. You keep his mouth connected to yours, hands on his chest when you move your lips to deepen it and he follows, his own lips moving over yours.

Namjoon looks a little surprised when you two pull away but when his lips finally pull up into his dimpled smile you can’t help but feel like you’re wanting to pull him in for another.

“Let’s go.” He grabs your hand, “We have like 15 minutes to make our reservation. Kind of wishing I got here a lot earlier though.” He teases with a smile, his hand pulling your hand to his mouth when he kisses it.

The restaurant you two are at is the same place he took you for your first date, something you’re happy about since the food was good and they have someone playing the piano again. You two chatted about your days after you ordered, catching him up on how hectic work was this week and also…the entire Lucy situation.

“I can understand why Jimin was angry though.” Namjoon nods, taking a bite of his pasta and swallowing before continuing. “Even though nothing is going on with you guys…being told that you can’t do something when that person really has no right…well, of course, he was upset.”

“I guess.” You poke the vegetables on your plate with your utensil. “I get it too. I just don’t really know why he would be embarrassed and not talk to me about it.”

“Oh.” Namjoon stops chewing for a second, “I thought you weren’t understanding why he was upset. Not because of his embarrassment.” He swallow again and smiles at you. “Well, think of it this way…being angry is like…showing someone your ugly side, right? Maybe he’s just wishing you—any of you—didn’t see that because it’s not how he wants you guys to view him.”

You continue playing with the food on your plate, “Yeah. That does make sense.”

“Don’t be sad, y/n.” Namjoon chuckles, reaching his hand to grab yours across the table. “He’s going to talk to you.”

“I’m not sad!” You defend right away, eyes finally lifting to meet his. “I just don’t get it! That’s all.”

“He’s an important person to you so of course it feels sad when someone like that isn’t able to talk to you, right?” Namjoon squeezes your hand. “Your feelings are normal.”

“But…”

“Normal.” Namjoon emphasizes with a grin, “I promise you. The best example I can give you is how Hoseok felt when you didn’t tell him about Jimin? He felt like you couldn’t talk to him and it hurt. I think that’s how you’re feeling. Hurt that Jimin isn’t talking to you about how he’s feeling since the situation.”

“Maybe.” You grumble. “Of course, Hoseok felt this feeling but like tenfold.” You go back to playing with your food, “Now I am sad because I am remembering that.”

Namjoon shakes his head with another laugh, “I didn’t mean to remind you of that and make you sad.” You finally look at him and give him a teasing smile.

“I know.” You tell him, “Don’t worry, that’s all resolved so I won’t be sad.”

“Good.”

“Although work was crazy busy this week I am kind of glad it was. Good distraction to all this real life stuff.” You laugh, “How about you?”

“I was also very busy! Feels like meeting after meeting and trying to set this up or that up. So many things going on.” Namjoon finally lets go of your hand to grab his wine glass and takes a sip. “Ah, but I feel more bad for Emiko.” He sets the glass back down, “If I’m busy that poor soul is ten times busier” Then he’s laughing when he remembers something. “Actually, she texted me while you were in the bathroom and she sent me this picture and you have to see it.” Namjoon pulls his phone out and pulls up his messages and shows you his screen.

Emiko 7:27pm

I know youre out with y/n but this isn’t work related!!!!🥲 Look at this cat we found! HE IS SO FAT!!!! CHUNKY!!!!!🥺 Anyway your mom says his name is Chunk the Hunk and I really feel like it is his name so!

[image]

“Oh my god.” You start giggling, “He’s huge! He is Chunk the Hunk for sure!”

“My mom has a real talent for naming things.” Namjoon shakes his head, smiling before putting his phone away again.

“But wait. Emiko is close with your mom?” You tilt your head, “Wow, they even hang out on Friday nights.”

Namjoon can’t help but chuckle when he realizes you don’t really have any context. “Ah, right. Emiko knows mom well. Her parents and my parents are the best of friends, neighbors and all. I’ve known Emiko since we were like…I want to say around 5?”

“Oh!” You smile, impressed. “Childhood friends! That’s so cool!”

“Yeah, we grew up together.” He nods, “I was mean to her at the end of elementary! Girls are gross and all of that. But by the end of middle school we were cool again and all of high school too!”

“That’s amazing. I wish I had someone like that!” You whine, “I’m always jealous of people who have that.”

“Time isn’t everything, you know?” Namjoon teases, “But we actually fell off after high school. We went to different universities so I hardly saw her anymore.”

“Then what?”

“But sometime after university I ran into her. We always had similar interests and stuff so finding out she had worked her way into becoming a book agent I wasn’t too surprised,” Namjoon smiles, reaching for his wine again. “And there I was…wanting to write a book. So, it made sense to me that we work together. So, here we are.”

“Wow.” You look at him starry eyed, “It’s like the universe put you guys on the same path again!”

“Funny how it does that.” His smile is as cute and genuine as him. “Some people are just meant to be in your life time and time again. Some, of course, are only meant for certain times rather than others or sometimes it’s only for a moment that they’re there but even one moment can have an impact…amazing, right?”

“Yeah.” You nod, small smile that feels hard to hide starts forming. “I do agree with that.”

After dinner you and Namjoon hold hands while you walk to his car in the parking lot, his grip on you is just firm enough that feels safe and warm.

“So, I was thinking.” Namjoon stops when you two approach his car, his body turning towards yours.

“You usually have great thoughts. What ones are going through your mind right now?” You ask, eyes on his.

He laughs a little before coming closer to you, “I was thinking you come to my place?” His voice is lower, but not quite a whisper. “I’d love to have you over.”

“Would you?” You step closer as well.

“Of course.” His hand finds your chin, tilting your head up before he leans in for a kiss. When he pulls back you nod enthusiastically and he chuckles. “So, is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes.”

Namjoon’s apartment is a place you have never been before, it is your first time and you feel a little nervous since you’ve already made up your mind about tonight. You are getting fucked. Namjoon shows you around his place, a lot of plants and paintings and the entire atmosphere feels warm and welcoming.

“How about some wine?” He goes into his kitchen, bringing two glasses down from a cabinet. “I have one we’ve had before. I remember you like it.”

“I’d love some wine.” You take a seat on his cream sofa, “Love it, love it, love it.” You say more to yourself. Of course you would love a little liquid courage.

“Are you warm? Cold? I can adjust the air.” Namjoon tells you when he sits next to you, handing you your glass.

“I’m comfortable, thanks.” You take the glass happily, your lips already on it, wine already sliding down your throat.

“By the way, I am sorry I’ve been so busy lately.” Namjoon drinks some of his own wine, “You’re worth giving all my time and attention to but well, we do live in a society that requires making money.” He smiles at you, “But I wish I could give you all my time and attention.”

You snort at his words, grinning at him. “Unfortunately, I also live in a society.”

“Seriously, y/n. I hope tonight makes up for it.”

“I’m hoping it does.” You tease and this makes Namjoon quirk a brow in question.

“Did you have something in mind?” He asks, throwing back the rest of his drink. “Something you want?”

“…Hmm.” You finish your wine quickly as well. “Maybe.”

“You can have whatever you want.”

“I want…” You start looking around, feeling shy suddenly. “Things.”

“What kind of things?”

“Things from you.” Your eyes still go around. Wow, it really must have been a while because you are usually way better at being straight forward. “Things like you kissing me.” You finally find the courage to say, eyes locking on his again.

“I thought it could be something like that.” Namjoon gazes at you, his dimples threatening to show itself when he smiles at you. “Give me that.” He requests softly, referring to your empty glass.

He takes it from you and stands from his sofa and leaves for his kitchen to put the glasses in his sink and when he returns to you, he only offers you his hand.

“Would you like to come with me to my bedroom?” His voice is more husky than you’re used to but this only encourages you to place your hand in his palm and stand from his couch.

“Yes.” You breathe out.

Namjoon leads you down a hall until he stops at one of the doors, opens it and guides you through. His hands on your waist, until they’re on your hips, sliding down until one hand gently squeezes your ass. Your own hands gripping his arms, his chest, finally until your fingers are in his hair. Your back is against his now closed bedroom door, it would feel cold against your skin but Namjoon’s lips exploring your neck makes you feel all too warm.

You are wearing a dress, you think. Namjoon could easily fuck you against this door if he truly wanted. And you’re thinking maybe he does when he curls his fingers beneath your thighs and has you jump, your legs wrapping around his middle. Your mind is melting when you feel his clothed cock against your core, oh how easy it would be if you just pulled it out of his pants and have him enter you.

Namjoon’s lips on yours, his tongue meeting yours in the middle for a kiss deeper and messier, hips grinding uncontrollably for the other. You need this, you think. You want this. Moaning into Namjoon’s mouth is enough for him to carry you to the bed, dropping you gently on his pillows before he’s diving back in to kiss you hotly.

“Joon…” You whine, his teeth nipping at your throat. “I want you.” You admit to him, feeling breathless.

His fingers feel rough and hot against your skin, they even feel desperate as he tugs on your dress in every direction trying to take it off of you. You sit up quickly, helping him slip off the damn thing and his eyes devour you when he gets a look at you in just a bra and panties.

“So beautiful.” He whispers, leaning forward between your legs to kiss you. When his tongue meets yours again, you can feel his fingers at your back, unclipping your bra. When it falls from your body he leans away again to eye your bare chest.

“Take this off.” You poke his chest. “I want to see you too.”

He wastes no time in getting his shirt off, his bare skin on display for you and you love how soft his skin feels beneath your fingertips.

“Lay back down for me.” He rasps out, “Please.”

You slowly fall back, head landing on his pillow when Namjoon’s body is towering over your own. He gazes at you, drinking you in. He lowers himself, lips on yours when he kisses you slowly this time. Hands all over you, gripping your waist, your hips, your breasts but the cherry on top is when he fingers graze over your underwear.

“T-Touch me.” You sigh, his tongue rolling over your nipple and his fingers just barely touching over your underwear again. “J-Joon.”

Namjoon keeps kissing over your chest until he’s kissing over your stomach, kissing each hip and finally lowering himself until he’s kissing at your thighs. You spread them for him, giving him access for his lips to trail to your inner thigh. He looks up at you, face contorting, a look of want—a look of need—as his fingers finally grab the band of your panties and he starts dragging them down.

“Lift up for me.” He groans when you lift your ass and he has it easy, sliding your panties down each leg. “Oh fuck.” He releases a few long breaths, his eyes boring into your exposed pussy. He isn’t touching you but you’re squirming. You need to be touched.

You look down at him, lips parting when you feel his fingers spreading your lower lips apart and he’s gliding his digits around your clit, gathering your wetness on them. He’s moving his fingers so slowly, just testing how sensitive you are and he feels satisfied when he realizes it is very. You are very sensitive.

“I’m okay to taste you?” His voice has never sounded this low or deep and it goes straight to vagina—there’s no turning back on how horny you are. You tell him yes over and over and you finally shut up when his warm tongue finds your most sensitive spot, your mouth shutting but your squirming only continuing. His lips are wrapping around your clit when his tongue circles it, exploring every nerve in the place that can take you to a whole new world.

The moan you let out when he quickens how he licks at you only makes it that much harder for Namjoon to not just fuck you. His cock is hard and ready to dip inside you, ready to get soaked in your juices, your wet pussy hugging him until he comes but he tries to focus on you and your pleasure.

“F-Fingers.” You beg him, your whining making him rut against his mattress. He listens though, one finger adventuring around your entrance, then two before he’s pushing them both inside you and you stiffen at the sudden intrusion but when he curls them and fucks them into your hole, you are back to crying out in pleasure.

You aren’t entirely sure how long this continues for…can’t be more than 10 minutes though. No, it’s got to be less than that. You are trying for this to last longer but a particular suck on your bundle of nerves has you gripping the sheets and warning Namjoon that you’re going to come. His entire head quickly bobs when he laps at your pussy, fingers never stopping and the sudden relief you feel over your entire body starts happening. You come and you come and he just doesn’t stop. His tongue and fingers working inside you like they’ve moved in and he doesn’t pull away until you’re wincing visibly from the overstimulation.

“Good god.” You throw your arm over your eyes, smiling from how good this all felt and pleasantly satisfied how amazing it feels to receive an orgasm from someone who isn’t you for once.

“I really enjoy the way you sound when you come.” Namjoon tells you, his body moving up yours when he kisses you. Tongues tangling lazily and you can taste yourself, something Namjoon wanted you to experience. “You taste good, don’t you?” He asks, pulling away to look at you. Your eyes are heavy with your dopey smile and his heart squeezes at the sight.

“You’re amazing.” You breathe out, “Really.”

Namjoon continues to gaze at you and how obviously tired you are and he strokes your cheek. “I’ll get something to clean you.”

“Wait!” You grab his arm, sitting up, “I should…we can…” you glance down towards the very obvious boner in his pants and he chuckles, pushing you gently back towards the bed.

“Tonight was about you. Let’s sleep.” He kisses you one more time before disappearing into the bathroom. When you hear the sound of running water it almost feels like a gentle waterfall is lulling you to sleep, your eyes closing until you feel a warm wash cloth at your core. You close them again, letting Namjoon clean you and the last thing you feel for the night is Namjoon’s warm chest against your back.

~~~~~~~

“Mmmmmm.” You roll over groggily, your hands going to cover your ears. Your phone is going off and you just want to keep sleeping. “Who the hell is calling me…” you mumble lowly to yourself, eyes not opening. The phone finally stops going off and you smile to yourself, ready to sleep again when the phone starts vibrating loudly once more. “Seriously…?” You roll back over and open your eyes now until they widen. This room…? Right. You’re in Namjoon’s room.

The phone continues to buzz and you realize it is on the floor next to the bed, you glance around and see Namjoon isn’t in here before you reach down and pick up the phone. Jimin. Jimin? Jimin?! You blink at the screen rapidly and notice it’s only like 10am…why is he calling? Well, at least he’s finally calling…

“Hello?” you answer before it stops. “Jimin?”

“Oh, you’re sleeping. I should have guessed that.” Jimin laughs a bit awkwardly. “I knocked on your door a few times but…”

“Oh.” You rub your eyes a few times with your free hand. “I’m…I’m actual—”

“I brought you breakfast.” He tells you, his tone is soft. “Want to eat together?”

“Jimin.” He can’t see you but he knows you smiled with the way you said his name. “I…actually I’m not home but I’ll be there in half an hour. Is that okay?”

“Sure, I can wait for you.”

“See you then.” And then you are hanging up. You get up from Namjoon’s bed and find your dress and things before slipping everything on, stopping in the bathroom to get a look at yourself. Great, a hickey on your neck and mascara beneath your eyes. You try to clean your face a bit before going out into Namjoon’s living room. You spot the man eating a bowl of cereal on his sofa, his eyes widening when he sees you and he tries to smile while swallowing his food at the same time.

“Hi.” You tell him, “I uh, I’m going to head home…but thank you for a great date and uh, last night. Yes, last night was very um, very nice.”

“You’re leaving?” Namjoon sets his bowl down on a side table. “You don’t want to eat?”

“No, no!” You smile, “I’m okay. I should head home. Honestly, Jimin is there and he hasn’t talked to me so I…” Namjoon nods, understanding you. “But I’ll text you.”

“Will you at least come here and kiss me?” He teases you and you blink at him, hand going to your mouth.

“But…but I haven’t brushed my teeth…”

Namjoon can’t help but laugh. Cute, he thinks. “Come here.”

And you do, and you accidentally make out for like 15 minutes before you finally do leave.

You get a ride home despite Namjoon making a huge deal about how he should drive you but you tell him a ride is fine. Jimin has been waiting over half an hour by now but you finally pull into your apartment complex and when you spot Jimin sitting outside your front door with a bag of food you cannot help but grin. You rush up towards him and when he sees you he stands to his feet and offers a small smile in return.

“Hey.” You greet him quietly, going to unlock your front door, letting him in behind you.

“Hi.” He tells you quietly as well. You both slip your shoes off and make your way into your home. “Where were you?” He asks, setting the bag of food down on your kitchen island. You stare at him, cheeks getting warm and he sees right through you before he’s lightly smirking. “I guess your date went well with Namjoon, huh? Hoseok said there might be a sleep over involved.” He’s nonchalant as he starts taking food containers out of the bags.

“W-We didn’t! Well, we kind of? But not all the way! I—Hoseok? He told you?”

“Yeah,” Jimin nods, eyes still focused on the food. “He told me last night.”

“Did you…did you guys hang out last night?”

“Yeah, after dinner with my parents. I went over to his place and we chilled.”

“You guys…you guys hung out without me?!” You say in a whine and Jimin looks at you now, eyes all innocent.

“Do…do we need you there?” He tilts his head and you groan internally, Hoseok gave that same response.

“Anyway,” You roll your eyes with a pout on your lips. “I’m going to go change and wash up real quick. Be right back.” Jimin hums in response, eyes back at the food.

After you freshen up, you and Jimin sit at your kitchen island and munch away on breakfast that he brought.

“So,” Jimin turns his head to see you, his eyes on yours, something light about them. “You haven’t seen me since Tuesday. And it’s Saturday. Just like last week. Does this mean you’ve missed me?”

You gape at Jimin before narrowing your eyes at him, “I understand last week. But this time you ignored me. So, no.”

“I…I wasn’t ignoring you.” Jimin’s smile starts fading and you look at him incredulously.

“But you did!” You scold, “I texted you and nothing.”

Jimin frowns a bit before nodding his head. “Okay, you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right…” You pause before glancing his way again, “So why?”

“I…I think I just felt weird about things.”

“Hm.” You look back down at your breakfast, “But you were able to talk to Hoseok? Why is it just me that—”

“If I had an answer to that, I promise you, y/n, I would give it to you. But even I don’t know.”

Your eyes catch his, an odd vulnerability lingers in them and you think you believe that. “Well…I’m happy you and Hoseok seem to be getting closer.” The corner of your lip curves up, “He’s my best friend and you’re my—uh, my other…uh, well, you’re both important to me…so, I’m glad.” You give Jimin an awkward smile before your expression changes into something more threatening. “But please invite me next time!” You raise your fist, pretending like you’re going to hit him and he snickers.

“Fine, fine. I suppose you can crash our hang outs—oh! But not next weekend. Sorry, no girls allowed.”

“Huh?”

“Taehyung is coming next weekend and we have plans.”

“Who?”

“Well, Taehyung created a group chat with me, him, Hoseok and Jeremy. It’s called…uh,” Jimin slides his phone out of his pocket and takes a look at his message threads. “It’s called ‘Ladies want us and men—”

“—And men want to be us?” You finish for him, snorting.

“Actually no.” Jimin shakes his head, “Uh,” He starts reading again, “Ladies want us and men…also want us.”

You go from laughing to a straight face when you nod in understanding, “I—yeah, that actually sounds more accurate for something Taehyung would say.”

Jimin nods with you, understanding that it is true.

“So what? What’s next weekend?”

“He planned a whole boys day and a boys night out. It’s for Saturday.”

“A boys night out?” You question, taking a sip of your water.

“Yeah. According to Taehyung and Jeremy we’re all too hot to be single.” Jimin just shrugs, smirk on his face when he sees how you shake your head.

“Taehyung and Jeremy are going to become a dangerous pair…I can feel it.” You continue to shake your head, “So what? The plan is you all find girls and get laid?”

“Something like that.” Jimin laughs, “Something like that.”

“Well,” you pick at your leftover breakfast, “If you can’t find anyone that night, you can always just hit up the girl from your super market.”

“How would I do that?” Jimin gazes at you, but you don’t meet his eye.

“Well—”

“I never gave her my number.” He tells you, eyes still on you while a smirk still plays at his lips.

You finally turn your head, eyes finding his. You gaze for a moment or two or eight before you finally speak up. “Why not?”

“Hmm.” Jimin hums noncommittally, eyes still boring into yours but it’s not in an intimidating way…it’s more like his eyes are trying to communicate with you but neither of you speak the same language. You gaze back, eyes darting down to his lips when you see how his tongue pokes out to lick them. “I—”

But he’s cut off when your phone starts buzzing loudly on the counter, you tear your eyes away from Jimin to glance down at your screen to see Naomi calling.

“Hello? Huh? Oh. Umm…what are the options? This is obvious dude are you serious? Tell Jeremy I can hear him and that I think his taste in everything is actually garbage…okay, fine…yeah, his taste in dumplings is pretty solid. Other than that though. Just watch Toy Story. Tell Jeremy I can still hear him.” Jimin watches as you playfully roll your eyes, you catch his eyes on you before you mouth ‘sorry’ he just waves you off with a smile. “I’m hanging up now but next time you guys fight over what movie to watch, please just flip a coin. Bye bye, love you.”

“They needed your help to decide on a movie?” Jimin teases, “Sounds like them.”

“Yeah.” You giggle, “Anyway, uh, what were you saying?” “Nothing.” He sighs, smiling.

“Oh! Auditions are this next week, right?”

“Yeah.” He closes his food container and pushes it away from him, “I go in on Thursday.”

“Exciting. You’re going to kill it.”

“You think so?”

“Jimin, I know so. You are someone who…well, there isn’t anyone like you.” You say, “You already know this though.”

“I have my doubts sometimes.” He says, eyes lowering to the counter, shy smile on his lips and you can’t help yourself when you scoff, your own smile on your face.

“Well, I guess like usual, you can just count on me to believe in you more than you do yourself.”

“Hm.” Jimin’s eyes find yours again, “If you let me count on something like that then I will.”

You and Jimin continue to talk, the conversation going from one thing to another and the day is just passing you by. You see how the sun moves through the sky, different colors painting your living room walls because of the sun through the windows. The walls were white and light but now they’re glowing in something like a soft orange.

You and Jimin are relaxing on your couch, he’s tapping away on his screen as you two order a late dinner.

“Are you sure I’m not overstaying my welcome?” Jimin asks, eyes still on his phone. “I’ve been here all day.” He reminds you like you aren’t totally aware.

“Overstaying your? Jimin, we haven’t even watched our show yet!” You lightly swat his arm, “Which by the way, can you believe next week is the finale?!”

“I know—”

“Wait!” You swat his arm again and he chuckles, “I just realized…I’m going to…I’m going to have to…WAIT? Be—Because of you! Because you’re busy next Saturday! Because of stupid boys—”

“Relax, relax.” Jimin rubs his arm, smirking at you. “I will be here bright and early on Sunday if that’s what you want. I swear.”

“Yeah, you better be here when the sun is literally rising! I won’t wait another second.”

Jimin puts a hand to his temple, saluting you. “Yes mam! I promise we will be together when the sun is rising!” He lowers his hand when he finishes the salute and grins at you. “But…” He starts chewing on his lip, “What are we going to do if the two leads don’t get together at the end? We’ve been rooting for them for so long.”

“I swear…if they don’t get together then I give up. Love isn’t real.” You throw your hands up, leaning back on your couch.

“Oh, please.” Jimin chuckles, clicking his phone off after he finished the order. “I know you know love is real.”

“Eh.” Your head relaxes on the cushion, “I question its existence sometimes.” You laugh a bit awkwardly. Jimin’s smile starts to fade as he stares at you.

“Well.” He swallows, “What we shared? What we shared in the past…that was real love…?”

“I mean, was it?” You laugh again, “How real could it have been if you moved on that fast?”

And then there is silence. Silence on both ends. You can’t even hear his breaths and you can’t even hear your heart. You’re realizing what you said, your head snapping in Jimin’s direction, eyeing him over and you aren’t even sure how to describe his expression.

He’s parting his lips, maybe he’s about to say something but you beat him to it.

“S-Sorry! I don’t know why I—I’m s—”

“No, it’s okay.” He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s okay…I—”

“No. I-I shouldn’t try throwing that in your…I just…I told you there were no hard feelings so…I wasn’t bitter…I—”

“Mm.” He looks at you, his eyes the softest you’ve seen in a while. “I…I think I would rather have some hard feelings from you.”

You look at him with a confused expression and he smiles awkwardly.

“That sounded weird…I just mean, I would rather hear all of your thoughts and feelings than you trying to bury things.”

“What-What do you want me to say, Jimin?” You return his expression, something soft.

Jimin’s eyes are communicating with you again and this time you understand. But he says it for you as well. “Just say…’You hurt me, Jimin.’”

Your gaze is locked in on him, you are trying to read his eyes, his expression and you see that he’s serious. You know this isn’t just for him but for you. You know he’s right. And that sucks. Burying your feelings on everything and having to admit something that…something that does fucking hurt.

“Jimin.” You gulp, eyes still focused on him. His brows start coming together, waiting patiently for you. “You… hurt me.” You finally say, your words said with nothing but your own vulnerability. “Yeah.” You give a slight nod, feeling a little burning in your throat but you feel the need to say it again. “You hurt me.”

“I know.” He whispers. His ‘I know’ are just enough words for you to get that he understands. He understands you. He understands you’ve been in pain. He understands that despite over five years passing, something as amazing and precious as the love you two shared is something that will leave an impact on you. Something hard to get over quickly and let go. He understands. The pain he has caused…that hurts. He sees how it hurts just by the way your eyes look, they give you away and it is something he finds so amazing about you.

“So,” Jimin speaks softly, “I should take full responsibility, right?”

“How?” You can’t help the small laugh that leaves your mouth.

“How many moments of happiness do you think it would take to make up for the pain I caused?”

“How many?” You chuckle quietly.

“Yes? What do you think? 10? 50? 100?” When you say nothing Jimin’s eyes widen, “1000? A WHOLE MILLION??”

“Jimin…” You laugh a little more. “I—”

“Come on, how many?”

“Hmm.” You stare at him, blinking at him slowly before you smirk. “Maybe a lifetime’s worth?” You tease him and his lips stretch into a wonderful smile.

“A lifetime’s worth?” He questions before growing more serious. “Okay. Deal. I will give that to you.”

“Jimin,” You break eye contact, smiling but shaking your head. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“And why not?”

“It makes me happy.” You admit, eyes still roaming around.

“Then I’m off to a good start, right?” He asks and you snort, finally looking at him and he laughs too. You both bask in this small moment before his smile drops and he looks at you more seriously, almost carefully. “y/n…”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.” He says, “I really thought…we wouldn’t ever see each other or speak again. It’s…it’s what you wanted.” He pauses, waits for you to respond but he sees you’re waiting for him to continue. “Emma…I did love her. She is…was…she was a good person.” He pauses again, but this time for his own sake. He feels his eyes sting just the slightest and he knows that won’t change for some time. “Ah, sorry.” He blinks back tears that are begging to form. “But um, just because she was a good person…and she was…” His voice cracks, “It doesn’t mean she was good for me.”

You know this isn’t easy. Jimin says it’s easier but easier doesn’t mean easy. He struggles, you can tell. But you can also tell he wants this. He wants to speak about these things openly.

“Together,” He continues, “We were…ah, well, when you have to force so much…for things to even just appear good…well, I didn’t want to see it. I refused to see it for so long. She didn’t see it either though…but I don’t think it’s because she knew and didn’t want to accept it, like me.” He points at himself, “She didn’t see it…because I don’t think she was even looking.” He releases a puff of air as a sorry excuse for a laugh. “But near the end I think she finally saw things. There was love between us. But it’s not the kind of love I had envisioned at the beginning.”

You watch as Jimin takes a breath, swallowing hard at his own admission. Your heart starts breaking in your chest as you watch him get choked up.

“Sorry.” He sighs out, “Admitting that was kind of hard…because…I felt so guilty.” And finally, his first tears start falling. “I felt so guilty after…after the…after everything.”

You reach for his hand and he takes it without a thought.

“I didn’t want anyone to think I didn’t love her…after…” He gets more choked up and you squeeze his hand, stopping yourself from feeling emotional over his heartache.

“Sorry…” He whispers. “I don’t even know what I am trying to explain to you. Maybe it’s more guilt. Guilt for you. For what you saw with me and Emma on opening night…guilty for that because now I can’t even confidently tell you I was in love the way I thought I was going to be.”

“Jimin…” Your brows pinch together, your breaking heart only continuing to crack.

“I think I wish I could tell her I am sorry. So, I won’t hesitate to tell you sorry. You’re here. You’re in front of me. I can tell you. And I will, all the time if I have to. Because I am sorry, y/n. My heart fucking hurts knowing you were in pain because of me. So please…” He cries to you, “Tell me. Really tell me…empty yourself to me…I know how busy your mind gets.” He cracks a smile despite the tears falling. “Don’t hold back. You…you need this.”

You gaze at Jimin in wonder…maybe it’s him who needs this. He needs to hear everything so it can be out in the open and you both can just move past it. Maybe he does need this.

“Okay.” You nod, feeling a bit hesitant. “For so many years…” You begin, “All I knew was who I was with you. You were such a big part of me. You and I…I had never felt more secure as a person than who I was with you.” Your eyes fall to your joined hands. “I wanted you to chase your dreams but…I couldn’t do this without you. This world…life…I didn’t want to be apart from you anymore, I couldn’t.” you whisper that last part out, afraid your voice might crack.

“I get that.” Jimin tells you.

“I loved you so much. I don’t think there is anything in this world I loved more than you.” You smile softly, still staring at your hands. “But…” You feel the sudden rush of emotion hit your body and you want to keep it at bay, you do, but why is it trying to climb over every wall you have put up.

“But?”

“But…” You gulp, your breathing getting heavier as you try to find the words. “But imagine…I…” You have to pause to breath, your eyes burning. “I go to you. Wanting to find you, the l-love of my life. And I find you. But you’re there. With someone who isn’t me.” You keep your eyes on your hands, the view blurry now. “You, who I didn’t know who you were without me. You’re there with someone who isn’t the person I know you with.” You pause before whispering, “Me.”

“y/n…”

You finally lift your eyes, your face scrunching up when you finally blink and several tears run warm on your cheeks. “You…weren’t in love with me anymore. I saw how I didn’t even exist in your mind.” You struggle to continue. “You were someone I couldn’t function without but you…you…”

Jimin feels his heart break for a third time in his life now. Your emotions finally breaking down your walls and spilling free. He sees how your thoughts are being tasted on your tongue for the first time…he sees how you are feeling this like it is five years ago.

“I was so fucking sad, Jimin.” You admit, choking on your own words as more tears fall. “I was—I was so-so fucking sad.” You cry harder, almost silently as each sob breaks you. “You b-broke my heart, Jimin.” You pull your hand away from his, both of your hands balling into fists when you lightly hit his chest with them over and over. “My heart is broken be-because of y-you.”

Jimin stares at you wide eyed even though he expected this. You continue to lightly hit his chest, fists still balled up. He’s not even sure he has anything he can say to you that will help…he knows the only thing that can help is if you release it all. Release your years of pain on him. He can take it. He will take it. Because you’re you. And that’s enough reason.

“I w-wanted to hate you but how could-could I?” You cry, “You didn’t actually do anything wrong. You didn’t but why did it feel like it? Why did it feel like the world was-was against me? I kept thinking for so long that I—I love you, I love you, I love you.” Your words are all broken now, “I kept thinking that even though you hurt me.” You continue banging his chest when he finally grabs your wrists, stopping you. You look at him, expression pained and confused.

Jimin lets go of your wrists, his fingers reaching towards your face before he’s stroking your cheeks and wiping away your tears.

“You know, back then…even now,” He whispers, “And all the time in between. I think you are the most precious person I’ll ever know.”

Your brows come together again, genuine confusion and realization all at once before you’re breaking down all over. Tears and more tears and Jimin pulls you into his chest and hugs you so tightly, so tightly that you think he’s squeezing all the pain from your body. You cry into his chest for longer than you care to admit. Maybe five years’ worth of tears. And he lets you. Because you’re you and there will never be more enough of a reason.

If you weren’t crying so much you might actually laugh. Because of course, after all of this time Jimin still knows you better than you know yourself—it is you who needed this. You’re the one who needed this so badly and Jimin knew. This…this is true freedom. You’re finally freeing yourself from the emotions you’ve buried so deep. You thought you’d die with this on your back but Jimin is here, taking away each burdensome piece with his own hands and you are feeling the weight get lighter and lighter. You might questions love existence but in this moment you know it’s real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday is here again—of course it is. Work always shows up on Monday’s to ruin the weekend you were just enjoying. You sit at your desk, mind on many things. Of course, no surprise that Jimin is one of those things. You two spent all Sunday together as well. It feels lighter, it feels softer, maybe more intimate—in a vulnerable way—and somehow you feel even closer to him than before. It’s good. It’s a good thing. He…he thinks you’re a precious person and you think…well, you think the same of him.

But it’s Monday now, work day winding down and you actually have more on your mind than just Jimin.

“Want to come over today?” Hoseok asks, feeling bored as he doodles on a notepad.

“Uh, can’t.” You purse your lips, “Me and Naomi are busy.” You and Naomi share a look across the office and she smirks.

“Wow, fine. I’ll ask Jer and Jimin. You down dude?” He says, throwing his question over at Jeremy.

“Yeah, I’ll text the group to see what Jimin says.”

The…the group. ‘Ladies want us and men also want us.’ Oh yeah, you think, that thing.

“Taehyung just texted back saying we aren’t allowed to hang out without him.” Hoseok snorts and you follow in his laughter. Classic, Taehyung.

“Oh! y/n!” Hoseok suddenly stands, phone in his hand when he starts walking over to you. “Dae told me she found some photos and videos from dance camp!”

“Fucking nerd.” You say.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.”

“Anyway, hater, you’re about to see how good your very best friend was at this place, okay?” Hoseok grins at you, clearly excited as he waits on Dae’s message thread. “She said she’s about to send them!”

“Okay, okay, we’re waiting, I guess.”

“My moves were amazing. I hope she has video of our competition and then you can tell me how I obviously should have won.”

“Right, right. Oh the bubbles are up, she’s probably sending them now.” You point at his screen, your eyes on him when you notice his face paling immediately. “What?” You question before you glance back down at his screen but he’s bringing his phone to his chest as quick as he can.

“I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.” He starts mumbling, “She’s…”

“What??” You try grabbing his phone but he steps away as fast as possible. “What is it? What did she send?”

“Trust me.” He shudders, “You do not want to see these pictures and videos.”

“What? Why?”

“Trust me.”

You blink at him repeatedly before it clicks and you express your disgust before laughing and muttering out a few ‘nice, nice’.

“She’s…she’s crazy…” Hoseok mumbles, “Crazy…”

“I bet you’ll look at them later though and you aren’t going to hate her then.” You say, not able to hold in your laughter.

“Shut up!” He chuckles, bringing his phone down before he takes a peak at the screen, “Well…I got to admit…we look good.”

“Ew, you shut up!” You laugh even harder now, “There’s video too?”

“Two.” He shows you with his fingers, “And they’re both several minutes long.”

“Oh my god.” You shake your head, “Enough! Enough! God, I feel like Taehyung right now.”

“Ready to go?” You hear Naomi’s voice cut in, “it’s almost 6. We stayed here way too long, I don’t want to look at another computer screen for the rest of the day.”

“Sure. Let me just wrap it up.” You tell her, saving your files before shutting down your own work space.

“What are you guys doing anyway?” Hoseok questions, eyeing you both suspiciously.

“Yeah, I want to know too.” Jeremy says, walking towards you guys. “Naomi won’t tell me either.”

“It’s just girl time.” You say nonchalantly.

“Mhm.” Hoseok rolls his eyes, “Whatever you say.”

“Alright, let’s go.” You face Naomi after gathering your things. “For girl time.”

“Yes, girl time.” She nods and you both link arms and make your exit.

“Should we follow them?” Jeremy whispers towards Hoseok and he just laughs before the get ready to leave as well.

“It’s almost 9 and still nothing.” Naomi sulks while sitting on her bar stool. “What if they aren’t coming?”

“Well, we knew that was a chance.” You mumble, playing with the drink in front of you.

You and Naomi are at the bar you all came to last Monday…you’re both…well, you’re on a mission. A mission to find that Jin guy. And he was here with his friends last week so maybe…

“I just wish he would magically show up by now.” Naomi tells you, “I’m so curious about everything and he probably has answers.”

“Exactly. I know Hoseok would think we’re weird for this.”

“We probably are…”

“…Probably.”

“But I agree with you,” Naomi brings her drink to her mouth, “It’s worth it if it means we can get some answers about Lucy. She is our friend…despite…”

“Yeah.” You nod. “There’s just so much we don’t actually know. She said so much without even saying anything at all. And call me crazy but I did not think things with Jimin were that deep and I do think she has feelings for Hoseok…but…”

“Yeah. I totally agree. Something’s weird.”

“Anyway, thanks for staking out with me. Operation: TTJ is in full motion but so far we are not successful.”

“…TTJ?”

“Yeah, Talk To Jin.” You tell her and she giggles. “If we can find him and just talk to him maybe he can help…”

You both enjoy another drink, by 10pm you’re losing hope and by 11:30pm you’re calling it a night.

~~~~

It’s Wednesday evening when you’re pulling into the parking lot of Jimin’s apartment, you quite literally just put your car into park when your car alerts you that you’re getting call. You see it is Namjoon and you accept the call, his voice booming on the car speaker.

“Hey.” He sounds happy to be on the phone with you, “I know it’s last minute but want to have dinner together? Or just hang out if you’ve already eaten.”

“Oh.” You bite your bottom lip, looking around. “I’m actually…I actually just go to Jimin’s place. He has his audition tomorrow and he apparently changed something and wants to run it by me.”

“Ah, no worries.” Namjoon tells you, you know he’s probably smiling. “I understand.” But he does sound a little disappointed.

“But hey, what about after? If it isn’t too late? If you still want to see me?”

“You know I won’t say no to that.”

You hang up with Namjoon, and head up to Jimin’s apartment. He greets you with a hug when you arrive at his door. He lets you in and gets straight to business. He shows you his new and approved audition maybe 5 times before you’re teasing him and telling him it’s perfect.

You and Jimin chill for a little while, sitting on his living room floor with some snacks between you both.

“So, Lucy.” You say with your mouth full, chips getting loudly chewed.

“Hm.” Jimin glances at you, smiling when he sees your messy lips with chip crumbs.

“You think you’ll see her tomorrow?” You ask.

“Yeah, I think so.” Jimin confirms, reaching for his own handful of chips. “But she will probably stay in the back and we probably won’t interact.”

“Oh.” You nod slowly. “Okay, so don’t think I am crazy.” You blurt suddenly.

“O…kay?”

“On Monday I went to that karaoke bar with Naomi so we could try to run into that Jin guy that Lucy was friends with so we could ask him about her.” You say really quickly, in one breath.

“You…you what now?” Jimin blinks at you. “Don’t tell me you really…”

“She’s…still my friend, Jimin. She’s obviously…well, I don’t know. If something’s going on with her shouldn’t I try to help her instead of just forget everything? I want to help…if I can.” Jimin sighs after you finish explaining. You’re you, he thinks.

“Anyway, I got to head out. I have plans with Namjoon after this.” You inform Jimin and he nods before he’s smirking.

“Are you going to go all the way tonight?” He teases.

“Huh?”

“Last time you said it wasn’t all the—”

“Okay! Shut up!” You reach forward and cover his mouth with your hand and he starts laughing, “Stop!” You whine but he doesn’t.

“Three times?!” Naomi basically yells out despite this being hush hush. “Three times?! In a row?!”

“I whispered that for a reason.” You deadpan.

Hoseok and Jeremy glance up and both look at you knowingly.

“Is this about what I think this is about?!” Hoseok’s eyes expand when he sees how flustered you look. “It IS!”

“Wow, finally.” Jeremy claps.

You were just catching Naomi up on last night—your little hang out with Namjoon. He made you come three times, just from fingering and eating you out. Still no sex. But you did go down on him this time too!

“I’m glad you finally found a man who can make you, how to say…curls your toes and shit.” Hoseok says, glancing at you before winking. “But is he making your heart have orgasms too?”

“Ew, why would you word it like that?!”

“Come on, you know what I mean!” He teases you. “How are things like, you know. Is your heart also…uh, gripping the sheets and shit?”

“Hoseok.” You wave him off, “Please stop.” You can’t help but laugh even though you know he is serious.

“Oh!” You look at your phone. “Jimin says his audition went really well!”

Jimin 3:04pm

Yeah it went really well! Its thanks to you though…I just pictured you in a seat in the auditorium and idk I just knew I could do it confidently. Hmm I hope you think about me like that too…anything in your life I am sitting there in the audience and you know you can do whatever. Anyway thanks again y/n ☺️

“Heh,” Hoseok looks at you as you read whatever is on your phone, eyes lighting up and smile spreading across your face. Something warm and fuzzy about you. “Well, that’s a heart orgasm if I ever saw one.”

It’s Friday and you’re happy the weekend is back, baby. You just got home not too long ago, relaxing on your couch with music playing in the background while you scroll on your phone.

Jimin 5:22pm

Taehyung just got here and he’s already pouring shots…pls hELP

y/n 5:31pm

cheers 😜

Jimin 5:32pm

Come over?

y/n 5:32om

I thought it was boys only or whatever

Jimin 5:35pm

That’s tmrw!

y/n 5:40pm

fine ill come for a bit

When you get to Jimin’s place, Taehyung wastes no time in scooping you up and hugging you until you can’t breathe. He also wastes no time in telling you how much he missed you guys and how life is so much better with you both in it. He also wastes no time in telling you although he loves you dearly, he does not want to even see your name pop up anywhere tomorrow because you’re apparently banned for boys day/night.

“I’m…I’m banned?” You sit across from the boys.

“Yes.” Taehyung states simply. “You’re an unavailable girl so therefore you are nothing to us tomorrow.”

“Wow…” You say with a straight face. “I’ll pretend you didn’t go there. Anyway, what’s the plan anyway? What are you guys even doing?”

“I don’t know.” Jimin shrugs. “They discussed it in the group chat but—“

“Don’t worry. I know every detail.” Taehyung jumps in proudly, “First, we enjoy boys day. Or should I say men’s day.” He grins, wiggling his brows. “We are going to go out and do manly things.”

“Man…manly things?” You ask, trying your best to keep a straight face.

“Hell yeah.” Taehyung nods, “Day time is the manly stuff. I’m talking about axe throwing, rock climbing, working out, becoming one with nature. Yeah, you heard that right. We’re going to go day time camping.”

“Day time…what?”

“Yeah, we’re going to camp during the day. Manly shit.”

“How is that…?”

“Catch lunch with our bare hands! Drink from the river!” Taehyung exclaims excitedly, you glance at Jimin who just shrugs. “Push ups in the middle of the woods! We might even fight each other, like fist fight. Because we’re men.”

“Why though…?” You say, still struggling to keep a straight face because dear lord, Taehyung is serious.

“We got to like, do some testosterone building, you know? So, when we go out for boys night, ladies will literally see the testosterone leaking from our bodies and want to like, mate with us.”

“What the fuck…how…” You cover your mouth, knowing you can’t hold in your laughter any longer.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh now but this is real!” Taehyung defends, “Anyway I also got us matching shirts for boys day.”

Now you really can’t hold it in, “Matching shirts?”

“He’s serious.” Jimin tells you, his eyes begging you to feel bad for him.

“Of course I am serious. You guys know I don’t joke around when it comes to shirts I make.”

“Wow.” You nod, “Okay, well, have fun tomorrow I guess.”

“Oh, we will! But damn this soup really went through me…bathroom break…might take a while but please don’t talk about anything interesting without me.” Taehyung stands from the floor and heads to the bathroom.

“So what are your plans tomorrow?” Jimin asks you, “Anything as cool as what my day is apparently going to be?”

“Afraid it might not beat testosterone building,” You joke, laughing. “But I’m hanging out with Naomi during the day and Namjoon in the night.”

“Ah, cool.” Jimin smiles. “Oh by the way, Taehyung wasn’t joking. You really are banned tomorrow so I apologize in advance when you don’t hear from me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You wave him off, “Have fun.”

àJimin and the boys in the middle of the woodsß

It’s Saturday and Jimin has never seen Taehyung look more excited.

“Okay, men. Are we ready for this day? Are we ready to become the most manliest versions of ourselves for boys day? And don’t even get me started on boys night out! This is just the beginning! Let’s set up this tent like men! Let’s open this bottle of rum and drink…like men!”

“Boys day! Boys day!” Jeremy starts chanting, Taehyung quickly joins and Jimin and Hoseok laugh but end up chanting as well.

“BOYS DAY! BOYS DAY! BOYS DAY!”

*you and Naomi back at your place *

“I wonder what the guys are doing?” You wonder out loud, you and Naomi sitting at your kitchen island, eating some lunch. “It’s probably something ridiculous. They’re probably googling manly things to do…I bet they’re trying to catch fish right now with just their hands.”

“They’re probably setting traps around the woods to catch a bear.” Naomi laughs as she adds in her own ridiculous scenario.

*The guys inside the tent they just built*

Taehyung passes the bottle to Jimin, wrapping his blanket tighter around him, “Maybe it started when my parents were always fighting,”

“Yeah, it was bad back then.” Jimin agrees, chugging back some rum.

“Dude I feel that. My parents got divorced when I was 15 and that shit hurts, you know?” Jeremy reaches for the bottle from Jimin. “Like, that stuff has an effect! How we view love and shit.”

*You and Naomi on your sofa*

“Look at this meme!” Naomi giggles, passing you her phone. “By the way, what do you think the guys are up to now?”

“Axe throwing, for sure.” You respond.

*the guys in their tent*

“I don’t know, maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m the one with commitment issues?” Hoseok mumbles, passing Taehyung the bottle.

“Nah bro.” Jeremy slurs, “You just know what you want and what you’re looking for.”

“Exactly!” Taehyung nods.

*You and Naomi *

“This show is boring. We’ve watched like 5 episodes and nothings happened. By the way, what do you think? Guys are probably doing pushups or some shit right now.” You chuckle, and Naomi agrees.

“Yeah, building their testosterone or whatever.” She cackles.

*the boys in their tent *

“I just don’t get it.” Jeremy sniffles. “I am so romantic! Don’t girls like that?!”

“Bro…the right girl will.” Taehyung tells Jeremy and Jimin and Hoseok nod their heads encouragingly with thumbs up.

“The right girl dude…” Hoseok slurs, “She will be lucky to read your weird poems and shit.”

“Yeah bro.” Jimin nods, “The right one is out there.”

“You’re so right.” Jeremy sniffles again.

*You and Naomi *

“What about now? Arm wrestling?”

“For sure.”

*The boys in their tent*

“Bro…I’m just ready to find the one, you know?” Hoseok grips the bottle of rum, “Isn’t she out there??”

“She’s out there man. Someone as…” Jeremy stops to hiccup. “…As amazing as you will find a girl who is perfect for you.”

“And maybe you’ve even met her!” Taehyung cheers with a grin, “You never know!”

“True, like maybe you met her at a dance camp or something.” Jimin slurs with his own grin.

“A dance? Camp?” Hoseok tilts his head in genuine confusion. Then it hits him and Taehyung at the same time when they both start shouting how wrong Jimin is.

“You’re crazy!”

“Yeah right!”

*You and Naomi*

“Maybe they’re climbing rocks now or whatever.”

“Very possible.”

*The boys in their tent*

“You guys are my brothers! My fucking brothers!” Taehyung cries out. All the boys start nodding along, their own tears in their eyes.

“Brothers for life!” Jeremy shouts, snot running down his nose.

*You and Naomi*

“It’s like what after 5 now? What do you think they’re doing?” You ask Naomi as you two decide on something for dinner. “You think they’re fist fighting?”

“That would build their testosterone levels for sure.”

*The boys in their tent *

“Guys…” Taehyung’s glossy eyes finds his friends eyes. He grabs the bottle of rum to take a swig when he sees it’s empty. Throwing it to the side, he forgets about it completely. “I just..” He slurs, “I just had this thought…”

“What?” Jimin asks, intrigued, “Tell us.” “What if…in this world…” Taehyung pauses, his hand going over his heart. “What if I’m the one I should love?”

“Bro….” Hoseok puts a hand over his mouth, “That’s fucking beautiful.”

“…bro.” Jeremy clutches his own heart.

“I love that, dude.” Jimin nods, tears in his eyes as he smiles. “You should love…you.”

“I do…I think the one I’ll love is…me…” Taehyung nods, but then he pauses. “I still want some pussy though.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” The rest of the guys agree quickly.

*You and Naomi *

“It’s almost 6:30 what do you think they’re doing?” You ask Naomi as you munch on your dinner.

“Something manly obviously.”

* The boys in their tent *

All four guys are passed the fuck out, snoring loudly and all cuddled up together.

It’s around 7 when Naomi leaves and you decide to get ready to head over to Namjoon’s. When you get there he hugs you and kisses you and cuddles with you in his bed as you two watch a movie on his laptop. It’s nice, it really is. Maybe tonight…you know.

It’s almost 9 when you can’t help but wonder what the guys are up to…you’re wondering if boys night outhas started yet.

“Oh shit…” Taehyung grumbles, groggily reaching for his phone when he sees the time. “Guys!” He quickly sits up. “Wake up!”

The rest of the guys start waking up one by one, eyes barely opening as they try to sit up as well.

“What?” Jimin sighs out, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s like 9.” Taehyung informs them, “We got to go! We need to go to Hoseok’s place and get ready for the night!”

“Why is it always my place…” Hoseok mumbles sleepily.

“Men.” Taehyung says, voice way more serious. Catching everyone’s attention. “Boys night is about to commence…”

“It’s true…” Jeremy starts getting up as well. “Remember guys…my brothers…” He glances around the tent. “We are hot, we are sexy, we are cool, we are smart, we are special, damnit. Any girl would be lucky to have us!”

“Yeah!” Hoseok starts nodding, getting into the zone. “Hell yeah!”

“That’s the spirit!” Taehyung shakes all the guys hands, “Remember my brothers, ladies want us and men—”

“ALSO WANT US!” they all scream out.

“Boys night…boys night! Boys night!” Jeremy starts chanting and the boys start joining in, their voice getting louder and louder. “BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT!”

You and Namjoon are relaxing in his bed, it’s got to be nearing 1am by now. Also, by relaxing you definitely mean making out. His hands are roaming your body so freely, he’s enjoying getting familiar with you and you have to say, you are also enjoying it.

Your own hands start exploring the expanse of his chest before they’re sliding down and you’re about to reach for his dick, you really are but your phone starts going off. You’re just going to check who it is and ignore it, obviously.

“Hold on.” You pull away from Namjoon, turning to face the other side of the bed where your phone is when you see Jimin’s name across you screen. “It’s Jimin.” You say out loud and Namjoon just goes “…Okay?”

“Sorry,” You take the phone, “I should answer it. He’s actually banned from me today so it might be impor—”

“Banned?”

“…Nothing, never mind, I’ll explain after.” You chuckle. “Just give me one second, please.” You say before leaning in and kissing him.

When you lean away from him, you answer Jimin’s call, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hello? Jimin?”

“Hi.” He drags the word out for way too many seconds. He’s drunk.

“Hi.” You say, “Is everything okay?”

“You need to come to Diablos.” Jimin tells you, “That-that guy.”

“Huh? Diablos? You guys ended up at Diablos? …was it Hoseok’s idea?”

“What? Well, yeah. He said there was a deal—”

“Of course he did.” You snort. “Anyway, why?”

“That guy.” Jimin slurs, “The guy from karaoke bar…he’s here.”

“Wait, Jin?”

“That’s the one!”

“He’s there? At Diablos?”

“Yeah, come here.”

“I thought you—”

“It’s important to you.” Jimin tells you, “Because of your friend or whatever. Anyway, don’t tell the guys I called you.” He starts giggling. “Hurry though. Bye, bye.” And then he hangs up.

“Everything okay?” Namjoon asks. “Jimin’s okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. No, he’s fine. He’s fine.” You lower your phone, bad habit of chewing on your lips starting up. “I uh, I need to go…”

“Go? It’s almost one in the morning—”

“There’s someone there I need to talk to. It’s about the Lucy thing.” You give him a short explanation. “Sorry, I’ll call you later. I’ll explain more later!”

When you get to Diablos, it is everything you feared it would be on a Saturday night. You’re barely able to walk through thanks to how crowded it is. The aroma of drunk, drunk party goes fills the air. You weave through the crowd, trying to find any familiar face at this point. And then you find one you are so happy to see. Your best friend.

“y/n???” Hoseok slurs your name, his eyes wide like he can’t really believe he is seeing you. And then you see Taehyung who is looking at you with wide eyes as well before he’s pointing at you.

“No!” He shouts dramatically. “It’s boys night!!!!!” suddenly Jeremy appears and he’s shouting about boys night as well.

“Relax.” You roll your eyes, “Where’s Jimin?”

“Jimin?” Taehyung questions. “Wait…are you and Jimin going to…?” He wiggles his brows and you swat his chest.

“No! So, where is he?” You ask again.

“Uh,” Taehyung’s eyes go around the place until he spots Jimin. “Over there.” He points behind you and you turn to look.

He’s drunk. Jimin, that is. He’s so drunk, you can tell. His cheeks and nose so rosy from the alcohol. He’s laughing so hard at something this girl said to him, her body leaning into his and he’s laughs.

“Oh.” You say.

“She’s hot, right?” Hoseok grins. “She had been eyeing Jimin all night and she finally talked to him!”

“As long as one of us gets some tonight.” Jeremy says, “That’s what matters.”

The three boys connect their fists in solidarity and you just look at them, not really understanding what the hell is going on.

“True brotherhood.” Taehyung says.

“What the fuck is happening…” You blink at them before you turn your attention back to Jimin.

“Nothing you’d understand.” Hoseok mumbles and the other boys start shaking his hand in agreeance.

You watch Jimin for a moment, his eyes leaving the girl to look around the bar when he sees you. His drunken smile grows so wide you think he might break his face. He quickly says some parting words to the girl before he’s coming to you. When he gets closer, his arms are already reaching for you and when he’s just close enough he is bringing you in for a hug so tight.

“Hi.” He tells you, his face falling into the crook of your neck. “You’re here.”

“I’m here and you’re drunk.”

“So drunk.” He leans away, nodding his head with a crooked smile. “There’s kind of two of you and this is quickly becoming my dream threesome.” He slurs out and your eyes almost pop out of your head.

“Oh my god. So drunk, so drunk.” You chant under your breath. “Anyway, where’s Jin?”

“Jin?” Jimin tilts his head innocently before he remembers. “Oh! The guy. He left already, like just recently.”

“What?” You slump your shoulders. “Seriously?”

“Don’t frown, pretty girl.” Jimin reaches for your lips, his fingers trying their best to quite literally turn your frown upside down. “I got his number for you before he left.”

“Wait, what?! Really!” You jump excitedly. “You got his number for me?”

“What?” Hoseok joins your conversation. “y/n, you got a guys number?”

“y/n got a guys number!” Taehyung starts cheering.

“Nice!” Jeremy cheers as well, “One of us! One of us! One of us!”

“Anyway, I think that’s my cue to go home.” You give a small bow.

“What?! No!” Jimin wraps his arms around you, hugging you close to him. “Don’t leave.”

“Yeah! Let’s call Naomi too!” Jeremy sings. “How much you guys want to bet she’s going to send me to voicemail because it’s so late?” He smiles, taking out his phone and giving Naomi a call. And he’s right. It goes to voicemail after two rings. “Wow, I know her well.” Jeremy smiles at his screen fondly.

“Let’s sit.” Jimin slurs, still hugging you to him and you roll your eyes, giving in right away.

When you guys find a spot at a random table, Jimin passes you Jin’s number and you send a text to him right away. You wonder if he’ll reply tonight or tomorrow…or even at all. Jimin keeps you company while the other guys mingle on the dance floor.

“You know,” You turn to face Jimin who is already gazing at you. “You can go and chat with that girl. She’s pretty.”

Jimin eyes trail across the crowd when he spots the girl from earlier and he nods. “Yeah, she is pretty.”

“Then go.”

“But I don’t feel anything.” He hiccups.

“Who’s asking you guys to fall in love?” You snort, “I thought tonight was about hooking up?”

Jimin laughs at your response, “Well, who knows.” He shrugs, eyes on you again and he smiles that smile you know. The smile that could charm just about anyone.

It’s around 4 am when you guys are making your way inside Hoseok’s house…you’re walking in just fine but the guys are stumbling and struggling. You imagine they are going to regret this much drinking when they struggle to wake up tomorrow. You drove them in your car and you had to tell Jeremy around 8 times to not throw up.

“Is it just me…but was today the best day….mmmhmfnnf,,…bnest…best day…our…of our…lives.” Hoseok says…tries to say, at least.

“Bro.” Taehyung puts an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder. “Bro.” He repeats. You realize that’s all he is currently capable of saying.

“y/n…?” Hoseok squints at you, as if realizing you are here for the first time tonight. His eyes immediately begin to water as he points at you. “My-My best….my best….” Now he’s just full on crying. “I love you so much!!!!!”

Jeremy notices what’s happening and starts crying as well, “I love all of you!!! You’re my family!!! I love all of you!!!!!!”

“And I…” Taehyung points to himself, his own tears bubbling over. “And I love myself!”

You glance around, not really sure what to do…is this a real, sincere moment…? You look at Jimin and even he is tearing up before he starts chanting…and now all the boys are.

“BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT!”

The guys do some weird group hug while you just watch from the sidelines…well, this night just keeps on surprising you, you think. Taehyung, Jeremy and Hoseok disappear into the rooms one by one while you and Jimin chill in the kitchen while you force him to drink some water.

After an hour of hanging in the kitchen and he’s drank quite a bit of water, you tell him he should get some sleep but he only smiles at you, his soft lips looking so full and pretty.

“Let’s go to the backyard.” He tells you, his hand finding yours when he tries to lead you out.

“It’s after 5am Jimin.” You chuckle, “Let’s sleep.”

“Mm, no.” He sings, “Let’s see the moon. You said it was pretty like me.”

Your cheeks go warm at his comment and you try to look annoyed with an eye roll but Jimin sees right through you. You like his comments.

You give in, following him out to the backyard, sitting on the concrete pavement, your bodies as close as close gets—you blame it on being chilly.

Jimin snuggles closer to you and you let him. He’s warm and there’s nothing in your mind telling you this is wrong. There’s nothing saying that having Jimin close to you is bad. No alarms are being set off.

“It’s because you’re warm.” Jimin tells you, less slur to his words. “So I have to sit close.”

“That was my excuse too.” You laugh, swaying into his body. “Warmth.”

“You mean reason.” He teases you.

You guys sit in comfortable silence for a while…eyes on the sky and it’s nice to see how the colors begin to change. A radiant black sky to a soft dark blue. Birds are starting to chirp and the dark blue starts to change as well…the sun beginning to make it’s day debut.

“Didn’t I promise you that we would be together for the sunrise?” Jimin sways into you, whispering his words slowly before you snort.

“Well, I didn’t expect it to happen like this.” You say.

“Still, I keep my promises to you.” He says, lifting a finger and bopping your nose. “Does it make you feel special?”

“Should it?” You tease and he smiles at you, as tender as you’ve seen.

“Mm.” Jimin hums. “I always want you to feel special.”

“Did you have fun today?” You change the subject.

“Yeah.” Jimin nods, eyes on the sky. “Taehyung is amazing. I feel lucky to have him. I wish I didn’t…I didn’t ignore him for so long.”

“He is.” You agree. “Any particular reason though?”

“Yeah.” Jimin starts squinting at the sky when the sun really starts peaking over. “To be honest…today—well, technically yesterday. April 16. It was Emma’s birthday.”

“O-Oh—“

“I think Taehyung was worried I would think too much about it and get sad or something.” Jimin laughs quietly. “So he planned a trip here this weekend…created this whole…” Jimin starts gesturing with his hands, “Well, it was a good day.”

“He is amazing…but wait, if he just wanted you to have a good day then what’s up with the whole ‘single guy’ thing and him wanting to get laid??”

“Well,” Jimin turns to you, straight face. “He’s only human after all.”

“Ah.” You nod. “No one’s perfect.”

“Anyway,” Jimin chuckles, “It was a good day and I’m okay.” He says, eyes going back to the sky. “And now the sun is rising and it’s a new day. And you’re next to me.”

You gaze at Jimin’s side profile and you feel an overwhelming…something…feeling, whatever. It’s overwhelming. Just looking at him and you feel yourself feel so unbelievably soft. So soft for him. So soft you’re basically something that is just melting because you’re next to him. You’ll use his warmth as an excuse again.

“Having you next to me on a new day, I like that.” He says, still staring at the sky.

You continue to gaze, your eyes getting a little glossed over before you clear your throat, your own eyes going to the sky. “Of course I’m next to you.” You breathe out, “You promised we would be watching the sunrise together.”

“Yeah.” Jimin’s lips curve into a soft smile, he glances at you for a moment and there is a feeling he’s remembering. Something deep within him, something familiar. His smile starts to drop and then he looks away. What a dangerous time to recall this feeling. What a dangerous thought to have, Jimin thinks.

Suddenly your phone buzzes, catching your attention. You pull it out to see a text.

Jin Lucy friend 6:56am

Sure, we can meet.

You stuff the phone back in your pocket and look at the sky again. There’s so many things you don’t know right now. And hopefully you’ll know them soon. Jin wants to meet and that’s a start. You turn your head to face Jimin and you see how he’s concentrating on the sky. The dawn that you are experiencing isn’t just about the sky. Maybe it is about much more. Jimin turns his head to face you as well, your eyes meeting and neither of you look away. Moments after moments, eyes that can communicate. You aren’t sure but maybe here…between you two…there is also a new dawn. Ha, what a dangerous thought to have, you think.

#bts #park jimin #bts smut #jimin smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #namjoon fluff #love again chapter 10 #namjoon smut

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saulwexler · 1 year

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what'd you think is more catholic coded, nacho and all the parallelisms with jesus and all that stuff, or the rightful holy repentance through punishment and suffering of mcwexler 🛐

as the world's shittiest former-catholic, i'm really glad you asked!

would it be bad if i said mcwexler is more catholic than this 😬

way smarter people have discussed nacho and any input would be lovely. personally i respect nacho’s role as scapegoat, ransom to the devil, and shirtless guy coated in oil – but even if the aesthetic is👌 comparisons sort of start and end their for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ nacho’s morally gray and therefore not catholic-coded enough. but the catholic lense of confession, penance, and redemption is just soooo mcwexler<3

thinking about jimmy’s two versions of the heisenberg story, and how by elevating his involvement from victim to accomplice helped regain his soul according to gould:

"Jimmy gets his soul back. But he’s going to be incarcerated for some amount of time. And that just felt right (x)"/ "I don't know if he's redeemed himself... but he has won his humanity back (x)"

the soul as something that can be gained/lost gives general christian vibes, but there elements that feel specifically catholic to me"

(1) the sacrament of reconciliation: really, the *only* sin god cannot forgive is failure to repent for mortal sins. jimmy’s first confession to marie fails this, but on second go around jimmy *does* confesses to a mortal sin (adulation with deliberate consent). and since confession 2 was voluntary, thats 79 years of self-imposed soul-saving penance (bonus points for the insurance thing – confession is also a salve for guilt).

(3) satisfactory punishment. when walt et al. selfishly died without repenting, they left an imbalance in the moral universe. luckily, catholics believe one may follow christ’s example and bear another's cross. by accepting full blame in building walt’s empire he can pay walt’s debts and restore balance.

(4) penance as medicinal: a self-induced punishment should equal the pleasure obtained while sinning through self-denial. take the opening and final scene of s6: gaudy lust-filled den of sin (damanged soul) is contrasted by barbed wire and slave-labor bread (healed soul). so a prison where he can have ice cream and golf would not do!

It felt right that Saul has been in court so many times as an attorney, and now he's there as a prisoner. And it felt right that he's made a mockery of the justice system, and now he's part of it. He's gone from being one of the people in the courtroom who runs the courtroom to be the subject. And that just felt right (x)

importantly, punishment is meant to help the sinner only – the 79 years do not meaningfully improve the lives of the victims or others involved (jimmy did not save kim from consequences nor would she want him to – idk why so many reporters think this???). kim’s confession is not as catholic, since giving cheryl closure is somewhat beneficial. but penance is a moral good in itself.

I personally don’t think what he’s doing is to save her from being implicated. She has already confessed to exactly what she did. There’s nothing Jimmy can save her from with that. Yeah. But I do think that those last moments in the courtroom are the two of them seeing each other without masks, like they used to (x)

(5) virtue of good works (this one's such a stretch): after regaining god’s grace, mcwexler can once again be given the virtues that were lost upon mortal sin, such as giving and receiving love from each other/ acts of charity (legal aid). other virtues (prudence, fortitude, temperance, humility) are woven into this too - regaining these virtues helps jimmy go from near-strangler to stable human without years of therapy.

with all that, no one suffered more than the girl writing this

#guy who’s only watched better call saul reading the aquinas' satisfaction doctrine: getting a lot of “mcwexler” vibes from this.

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altschmerzes · 8 months

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do you have any tips for how to get yourself to write, and more importantly, how to like your writing? i used to be so confident and sure of my skills in writing but recently it seems like i can never put down actual words, and when i do they just come out flat. it’s the worst possible time for this to be happening too 😭 i really look up to you as a writer and admire your dedication and your ability to write consistently so if you can, help please!! 🙏

first of all thank you so much for your lovely words!!! i'm beyond flattered that i'm someone you look up to in writing, you're so kind to say so, and i've been pleased with my own consistency recently tbh. it's not always like that, i go through long stretches not being able to get myself to write, which is always frustrating and upsetting.

anyways in terms of getting yourself to write and, more importantly, to like what you're writing, here's what i've got for you my friend!

telling yourself that you're not going to care about it being perfect is the only way to get through it, i think. i do what i call 'flashdrafting' which is the fastest and shittiest version of something. i don't even pay attention to punctuation and full sentences, i just slam through stream of consciousness as much as possible without thinking about it. i get really into the groove doing that and then i move that text to the bottom half of my screen and type at the top, just retyping what i wrote into full sentences and paragraphs, adding details, etc. it helps me not overthink things too much.

i also do sprints in discord! i'm in a couple of servers with people i write with and doing those timed writing exercises helps me not only get a couple sentences out at least, it engages a communal aspect that is really helpful to me. of course this only works if you have like. a server to write with people in, but similar effects can be achieved setting a timer for five, ten, fifteen minutes etc. or just telling yourself fuck it, i'm adding 100 words to this story.

writing the parts you're excited about first can also help, i think. of course then it's a pain in the ass to go back and lay the groundwork for them or connect the scenes but sometimes that helps you realize that maybe you didn't need the parts you weren't excited about in the first place, or it'll give you motivation to get through those parts.

if you feel like you really hate what you're writing, switch to something else. that's what i do. i think it's really easy to get n one's own head with any creative endeavour, especially writing. you probably hate it mostly bc you wrote it. i end up hating a lot of the stuff i write and even if i'm lying to myself when i say it, i get through that by telling myself 'you hate it bc you wrote it, it's not that bad'

and, finally, having people to write with/get excited about writing with/hype your writing up. i cannot emphasize how critical this is. i would not have gotten anywhere in any of my projects if it weren't for the wonderful people - here, on anon or with a name attached, or in my dms, or otherwise - who are cheering me on and hyping me up and getting excited with me. it's hard to feel like your writing is garbage when someone you respect and enjoy talking to is telling you it rules, yknow? and it can be hard to build that kind of community but honestly, it's just about showing up i think. join a server if one exists, start messaging with writers you like, just start posting about your writing. building that community is like. i wouldn't be writing nearly as much as i do as often as i do if i didn't know it mattered to other people too.

#gav gab #gav answers #long post #h my gd im sorry that's so long but. there you have it.#writing

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orphicpoieses · 9 months

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Writing Log

August 3, 2023

WIP: Project Rosary

Phase: Active Writing

Percentage: ~ 50%

Hello and welcome back to a new writing log.

I am slowly coming near the halfway mark in my Project Rosary Part 1. Even though life is stressful right now (exam season started in Germany two weeks ago), I am fairly consistent in writing every morning before studying.

Creating stories in these times is crucial for me. I immediately feel stressed, when I cannot write (especially if people tell me to not write during the exam phase!). It is like my little escape from everyday work.

But to be honest with you, I am currently a bit unmotivated. Not only because stuff currently happens within my family, but also because everything seems to be quite exhausting. So, what’s been new these days, is that I am trying to get anything down. A new Tumblr post, stuff for my project, new stuff… All of that.

Some of you have already seen that I came up with a new kinda fantasy story, that has no particular meaning, whatsoever.

It doesn’t have a name, beside the codename for Tumblr, so I can tag it: Project Unnamed. It is probably the shittiest story I have ever written. Not only because it is mainly pure Romantasy, which I normally don’t write, but also the fact, that I am writing some elven romance thing while complaining about how many elven or fae romance is out there? It’s kinda ironic.

To give you a little insight in the quick story (including some fancy banners I made for this):

It is about a somehow royal girl (I haven’t decided on that just yet), who lives in a world where magic is banned and seen as a wicked thing. One day, she gets in danger in the nearby woods, where a mysterious man saves her. Fascinated by his ethereal presence, she decides to find him again (which obviously works), where she finds out that he is able to control magic. He seems to come and go like a spirit and so she calls him the white spirit, also because he doesn’t tell her anything about him, besides the facts, that are obvious to her. She gets him to teach her about magic and soon enough, she finds out, that she can use the forbidden force too. They kinda have a secret relationship going on (with probably many red flags - I don’t know if he is a good or a bad guy). The drama comes from the secret relationship and when people find out about the elf in the forest.

I already know that this is going to be bad. I have no intention on publishing it. Maybe one day on Wattpad or as snippets here on Tumblr, but this is probably the most cliché Romantasy story you can come across. Even though I kinda like the characters…

But this is never going to any publisher in this world. It’s to bad for that.

If you are lucky enough to grasp an update on this story in form of a writing log, you are probably blessed. Project Unnamed is not even considered an active WIP.

But back to the original project, of which I am very proud of.

Project Rosary is still right before the half-time of the book, but I only have to finish the current scene and I am done. I like the pace in which things are falling together. Also, because I have the time to come up with solutions to plot holes in the storyline.

Now, as I am slowly coming to the end of one book of the series, I ask myself more, if I should wait until all seven books are done and then publish the first one. If people read the current book first, they will be (a little bit) spoilered for the rest. But if I publish the rest first, they get spoilered for the current book. It’s a bit of a challenge here, since everything connects to each other.

Luckily, I have until the final draft is done, to decide wether or not I publish now or later.

And that sums up, what’s new.

I hope, you enjoyed reading this writing log and if so, please consider to share it and subscribe to my Tag List, so that you get notified when I post.

See you soon and bye bye 💕

From the tag list: @ladyazulina

Other: @writeblrsupport

#orphicpoieses writing update #writing log #project rosary #project unnamed #writeblr #writing #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writerblr #writerscommunity #writerscorner #writersociety #writblr #literature

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stoprobbersfic · 1 year

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in every possible way

in every possible way (or: five things nancy wheeler learned about family by having her own)

for @jancyweek2022 day 5: family

this is set in my future perfect ‘verse, so that would be some good/necessary context for this, for what it’s worth. (and yes, i said they had 2 kids. this is just part of the first one.)

read it on ao3

oh my life is changing every day in every possible way and oh my dreams are never quite as they seem never quite as they seem

1. some big decisions feel very small

They toss it around for years, the idea of it. In fact, for a long time an idea is all it is.

She’s the lowest reporter on the newspaper totem pole, working the shittiest stories in the shittiest neighborhoods at the shittiest times of day. He’s trying to fully establish himself as a photographer and picking up bartending shifts on every night he doesn’t have a shoot booked.

And of course there’s the weekends they “go away” for some private time investigating thin spots in the world that may or may not be gates. Their friends think they have an extremely healthy marriage, putting each other first above all else.

Nancy thinks they have an extremely healthy marriage, because after you’ve fought monsters and saved the world together everything else seems like a piece of cake.

Well. Most everything else. That one thing her mother always brings up when she calls, that’s more daunting to her than any Demogorgon or gate ever was.

They’re in no rush, really. And the timing never seems right.

Do you think we should have a baby? She asks him after she says goodbye to her mother and he studies the stack of bills on the coffee table. He smirks at her.

I think we should make sure we can pay the light bill first.

Do you want to have a baby? He asks her as they tuck themselves into the corner of her office baby shower, her manager glowing in the center of a circle of otherwise hardboiled reporters and editors who are – slightly drunkenly, to be sure – oohing and aahing over a hand-knitted set of baby clothes.

I’m about to do her work and mine – when exactly do you think I have time to be pregnant? She shoots back, and he chortles into his glass.

It goes like that for a while, over months and months, until one night Nancy finds herself at their kitchen table, contemplating the brown paper pharmacy bag with the familiar egg-shaped plastic compact inside. That’s where Jonathan finds her, the light around her dimming as the sun sets outside their windows.

“Is everything OK or are you just enjoying sitting in the dark?” he asks, flipping on the light and taking the seat next to her.

She’s quiet a moment, considering approaches, and then just blurts it out.

“I think I wanna have a baby.”

She keeps her eyes squarely on the table, not daring to look at him. Every past conversation they’ve had – short or long – feels ephemeral to her, like they were just playing with hypotheticals. She means it this time. It’s been nagging in the back of her mind for weeks, for probably longer, manifesting in lingering looks at women with strollers on the street and on the L, with watching the toddlers at the playground in the park up the street when she’s taking a walk. In daydreams on her commute – still watercolor blurred and amorphous in their own way – involving Jonathan’s wide palms on her swollen belly, or tiny hands tugging on his shoulder length hair, a little body cradled between them as they sing pop songs to lull it to sleep that have gone from occasional to daily to more.

She had refilled her prescription without thinking, gotten home, and realized she didn’t want to wake up the next morning and take a pill.

His hand, warm and rough, on hers snaps her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, me too.”

Her head snaps up so fast she nearly gives herself whiplash.

“Really?”

His face is open, his eyes warm brown and dancing. There is no hesitation to be seen. “Yep.”

A weight she hadn’t even realized she was feeling lifts off her all at once, and she lets the smile break over her face. The one she gets in return is just as wide.

His hand is squeezing hers hard enough to hurt but they’re both giggling and she is giddy, practically vibrating with it.

Then a thought strikes her. It stops the giddiness in its tracks. It must show on her face because suddenly Jonathan looks very, very worried.

“Nance? What?”

“Oh god. Does that mean I have to get pregnant?”

She can barely register his laugh before she’s being pulled out of her chair, tossed over his shoulder and is suddenly enjoying a very nice, close up view of his rear end as he sets off down the hall to their room.

“I’m trying not to take that as an insult.”

2. impending fatherhood is sexy

They’re not going to be the first parents among their friends, and Nancy is immensely grateful for that as she climbs the steps to the home Ben and Michelle bought six months ago, halfway through their own pregnancy.

Nancy wonders if they need to start thinking about things like a house or a yard. There are no cul-de-sacs in the city, thank fucking god, but there are dead end streets. If they do have to move, they sure as hell aren’t moving to one of those. That’s too damn close.

She rings the bell without thinking and immediately regrets it when she hears a piercing wail from inside. Stupid, stupid.

The cry gets louder as footstep approach the door and she’s all set and ready to apologize to Michelle but instead finds Jonathan behind the slab of oak, a tiny bundle of blankets cradled in one arm.

“The bell, Nance? Really??”

She doesn’t reply; she can’t. He’s in a t-shirt, his hair’s disheveled, he’s holding a baby, and suddenly every hormone in her body – and man, there are an awful lot of them right now – is rushing to straight between her legs.

He steps aside and she enters on autopilot, trying to figure out the best way to tell him he should give the baby back to Michelle and leave with her, right now, because she wants to climb him like a tree.

“Michelle went to take a shower,” he says, briefly snapping her out of her reverie. “I told her I’d keep an eye on Emma and to take her time. I think Ben’s on his way home but I had just gotten her to fall asleep.”

“Sorry,” she sidles up to his bicep, trying hard to ignore how good he smells, especially mixed with the soft scent of baby powder and freshly laundered blankets. “Hello, Emma.”

“Hello Nancy, thanks for waking me up from my nap so I can scream bloody murder in Uncle Jonathan’s ear again!” He bounces the bundle in time with his high-pitched response.

“Mmm,” she nuzzles his shoulder. “’Uncle Jonathan’ has a nice ring to it but I think ‘dad’ is a lot sexier.”

He raises his eyebrows at her, still bouncing the baby as she starts to calm. “Well we’re not quite there yet but I’m sure you’ll get to fulfill those fantasies someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“How about today?” She reaches into her purse, fishes around until she finds the little Ziploc baggie and pulls it out. Holds it up so Jonathan can see the pink and white stick with two parallel pink lines on it.

It is both immensely gratifying and incredibly attractive to watch his eyes widen so much she thinks they’re about to pop out of his head.

“Really?” he whispers, almost like speaking too loud would make it not true. “Nance, are you serious?”

“The lines don’t lie,” she looks up at him through her eyelashes. “How long until Michelle is done with her shower, do you think? Because I want to take your pants off with my teeth.”

3. unconditional love really means unconditional

The look on his face confirms to her she’s horrifying but to be totally honest she couldn’t give two shits.

“Did you get the salsa?” she asks as Jonathan closes their apartment door behind him. Eyes the paper bag he’s carrying like she suddenly has x-ray vision.

“I did.”

“And those Mexican candy spoon things? With the sour-sweet?”

“Tamarind,” he corrects absently, clutching the bag to his chest like it can protect him from something. “I did.”

She beams a him. “Thank you. I love you.”

“…Yeah.”

“Oh come on,” she rolls her eyes as he edges into the room. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Um,” he tries, stops, and then just gestures in her direction with his free hand.

She looks down at herself. It’s pretty standard for her lately, 32 weeks into this bullshit ordeal: a pair of Jonathan’s clean boxer shorts, her most comfortable bra, one of his rattier button downs that has long be moved from his work wardrobe to “painting the house” duty, and which is big enough to accommodate her suddenly quite large belly. She swears up and down she blew up like a balloon; after weeks of morning sickness where the smell of just about any food that wasn’t white bread or oranges turned her stomach, she finally got her appetite back. But even then her belly had resolutely refused to show until about two weeks ago; now she suddenly had a little shelf to rest things on whenever she sat down.

Honestly, it was kind of convenient, even if sometimes their son’s kicking knocks over her plate or her cup.

Right now that belly shelf is home to a half-eaten Sara Lee cheesecake she had picked up in the freezer section of the corner store.

“What?” she asks.

He gestures again, this time more clearly toward her left hand. She looks at it, considers, then pops one finger into her mouth so she can eat the pitted black olive off the tip.

“What?” she asks again, a little muffled as she chews. Swallows, then follows it with a bite of cheesecake.

“That is disgusting.”

“It’s good!” she protests as he hightails it out of the room. She hears the rustling as he unpacks her latest cravings and eats another olive. “It’s like, a little salty and a lot creamy and a little sweet. Opposites attracting, like us!”

“Which one of us is the olive and which one of us is the cheesecake?” She can practically hear his shudder. “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.”

That gives her an idea and she swipes another olive, this one on her middle finger, through the cake, scooping up some. Pops it into her mouth and chews thoughtfully. Meh. It’s OK. Not as good as she was hoping for.

When she looks toward the kitchen again he’s standing in the doorway, looking as disgusted as ever.

“Oh come on,” she rolls her eyes, sliding the cake off her stomach and onto the coffee table. Stands carefully, one hand still half-occupied with olives, the other going to the half-done buttons of his ratty old shirt. “I’m not that gross, am I? I mean, you didn’t seem to think I was this morning before I left for work. Or when I came to see you on your dinner break. I believe you thanked me for wearing a skirt, and god for fixing the lock on the women’s bathroom door.”

“You weren’t eating olives off your fingers with cheesecake this morning. Or at the bar.”

“Well,” she pops the last two remaining olives into her mouth and the last two remaining buttons free with her other hand. “I’m not now, either.”

His keeps his arms crossed, his shoulders stiff, as she slowly starts to walk toward him, hoping she can still pull off seductive when her belly’s this big. His eyes are full trained on her (now much more ample, thanks pregnancy) cleavage, though, so she’s pretty sure she’s doing just fine.

“That’s true,” he allows and finally reaches out to her, slides his hands up her side and over her breasts before drawing her close and brushing his lips over hers once, twice, three times. She feels her knees go a little weak. “And I love you no matter what. But would you mind brushing your teeth?”

4. what’s in a name?

Nancy wakes slowly, blearily rubbing at her face as she blinks back the afternoon light. Something feels strange, feels different, feels off—

The baby.

She bolts upright with a gasp, scrambling out from under the covers and skidding into the living room in a panic only to be confronted by the sight of Will sitting in the old rocking chair Jonathan had rescued from his mom’s house years ago and that is definitely coming in handy now.

Will’s got her beautiful baby boy held snugly in his arms, his head bent toward him and long still-bowl-cut hair hanging down like a soft curtain. She thinks it’s funny, all these years and he still gets his hair cut the way his mom used to do it.

She thinks Will maybe have been saying something to her son, or maybe humming, but he looks up when she arrives, a smirk already on his face.

“Forgot you have a kid now?”

“Honestly,” she says, hand on her chest as she tries to calm her racing heart, catch her breath, “I’m not used to getting so much sleep.” Approaches them. “Thanks for letting me nap, by the way.”

“No problem,” Will looks back down at his nephew. “Joe and I were having a great time together. Doing some rocking, singing some songs.”

“And what kind of taste in music are you trying to impose on my firstborn child, eh?” She reaches out and brushes her fingertips over the fine brown hair dusting his crown. She swears up and down every day that he looks just like Jonathan while he swears the opposite, but she does have to admit Joe got her coloring. His chestnut hair and bright blue eyes could come straight out of her own baby photos.

Will grins at her. “Oh, please, like I could ever displace his father’s influence.”

“And what am I chopped liver?” She hears the door open and close behind them, the thunk of Jonathan dropping his photo bag under the coat tree. Lifts her face to accept his brief kiss when he crosses the room. Doesn’t hide her grin when he does the same to the crown of Joe’s head.

“Want me to take him?” he asks his brother.

“You stink like chemicals,” she interrupts before Will can agree. “Go change, and then we’ll give Uncle Will’s arms a break. He let me take a nap, he’s earned it.”

“Excellent, I’ll be right back.”

“No you’re not chopped liver,” Will says like they weren’t even interrupted. “But, come on. You let Jonathan name him Joe.”

Huh? she thinks.

“Huh?” she says.

“It was my brother’s idea right?”

“Well yeah but, like, Joe’s a normal name,” she frowns at him.

“What were your other choices?”

“I liked Adam, but Jonathan didn’t, not for a first name. He also suggested Ian, which was nice, but I liked Joe more.”

Will’s smirk is bigger now, and it makes her suspicions rise.

“Joe?” he repeats. “And Ian?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with Joe and Ian?”

“You really don’t get it?”

“Get what?” Suspicion is quickly turning to irritation and she suspects Will can read it on her face because he stops smirking quite so hard.

“Joe Strummer? Ian Curtis? The—“

“--Lead singers of The Clash and Joy Division,” she finishes for him, eyes wide. Wheels around to find Jonathan standing in the doorway between living room and hallway, mid-frantic arm wave, as if he’d been trying to get his brother to stop spilling the beans. He freezes, then grins sheepishly at her.

“You like the name Joe, and anyway we already filled out the birth certificate weeks ago…”

“Jonathan!!”

Will cracks up as she huffs her frustrations at him, half-joking and half-not. Oh, she should have guessed. He was far too confident and clear about his name suggestions. Oh, she should have known.

Joe starts whimpering and whining as his own sleep is disturbed and as she chases Jonathan playfully around the room she hears Will still in the chair, singing through his laughter, “Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double…”

“So you got to let me know,” Jonathan joins in, cowering behind the rocking chair and his son and his brother. “Should I stay or should I go?”

When he stands up she makes sure the burp cloth hits him square in the face.

5. it is possible to be this happy

Nancy gives the pot of sauce one last stir, lifts the wooden spoon to her lips and carefully blows before giving it a taste. Mmm. Perfect.

Jonathan may be the better cook overall but she’s learned a trick or two over the years.

“Hey Jonathan,” she calls, turning off the burner and putting the lid back on before walking back toward the living room, already starting to unbutton her shirt, “dinner’s ready, do you wanna hand him over to me so I can feed him while you’re setting the—“

She trails off in the doorway, taking in the sight before her. Jonathan is sprawled on the sofa, the light of the television airing Wheel of Fortune flickering across his face. He’s got Joe on his chest, his hand securely at his back. They are both fast asleep.

She does the two buttons of her shirt back up, considering whether she wants to wake them up. After a moment, decides against it. Dinner can probably wait.

It’s a little complicated but she manages to ease the pillow out from under Jonathan’s head and then maneuver herself so that he’s in her lap. Combs her fingers slowly through his hair, soft dark blonde strands she’s been playing with for well over a decade now.

She’s not sure how she got here. She imagined so many lives for herself, from dreams of women’s college with Barb to dreams of being a front page Pulitzer winning reporter. She’s saved the world and had her heart broken, almost lost everything and gotten it back again.

Her chest, her heart, her soul feels so full, like she’s about to burst from all the love in there, for this man and this tiny creature they made together, this tiny little human she would do anything for; walk over hot coals, throw herself in front of a train. From the moment his blue eyes looked into hers her world has felt like it is so full of love that it’s overflowing into a waterfall of feeling and all she can do is be swept along with the current, content to drown.

She thinks maybe that’s what people mean when they say they’re so happy they could die.

She shakes herself out of her thoughts only to find two pairs of eyes staring up at her, one brown and one blue. She smiles down at them both, reaching out to cup Joe’s head, stroke her thumb over the soft crown. Jonathan switches the hand holding his son to his chest and raises the other to cup her cheek.

Yes, she thinks, dinner can wait.

#jancy #jancyweek2022 #jancy fic #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #my god the kidfic actually came out of me today #AT WORK TO guys i cannot tell you #i did not have time to fine tooth comb edit this #so i apologize for any and all spelling mistakes of which there are probably quote a few #i'll clean it up for ao3 later i promise

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rielzero · 9 months

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''Why yu looking at other men?'' (rooftop angle makes funny dialogue screen LMAO) My character ain't actually tall-

So Gale confessed to my character earlier in my playthrough, but for RP purposes, I imagine my character feels a bit conflicted about Gale- given that he struggles to relate to him except for the uhm ''how about you go off and die'' PART SPOILER COUGH

I'm not doing a poly run for my first playthrough, but also- I love how dynamic they made the dialogue for this, because these two guys are in love with my character- I get the confession cutscene with Astarion, after that it gives me new Dialogue for Gale, basically he asks me to make a choice, and the way he responds feels very realistic. ''I didn't do enough to make an impression, or perhaps I was too late.'' But from the tone and feeling, it does seem Gale still really cares and feels for my character.

Then I hop over back to Astarion and he's like ''You rejected Gale to be with me? wowie'' kajhskhfkhgkgh

I love this game.

VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND <3

Also while I do like Gale, my character's story just makes him a bit more reluctant to even indulge in the thought of being with Gale, Astarion may have been a noble 200 years ago but he's been through the shittiest of times. They get on real well.

I love the complex feelings over this game <3 I might make little comic strips of my playthrough eventually, can't wait to draw up some complex feelings and show off more of my character's backstory.

Also YOU CAN PLAY FETCH WITH SCRATCH??? THIS IS THE BEST GAME.

DOGGY PUPPO

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #gale #astarion #gay #gay romance

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wigglebox · 2 years

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the shittiest thing is that there isn’t anything wrong with 15x18′s scene [the one thing i wish is that dean could have talked back and answered but i think we know why he didn’t]

bad things can happen to queer characters. the empty deal was set up since season 14 and it’s been dangling over our heads until 15x18 and the longer we went we either thought they forgot about it or we were clowning that destiel would be the thing that made him happy and indeed it was.

bad things can happen to queer characters if you allow the story to take flight from there. 15x18 wasn’t bury your gays [imo], indeed, technically, cas was taken alive to the empty. he wasn’t killed he was just kidnapped lol.

the issue wasn’t that the empty deal was fulfilled because again, it happened. it happens.

this show can have very sad moments. the show killed him in the season 12 finale too but we knew he was coming back so it was okay.

the problem was never 15x18. that scene was beautiful, the immediate aftermath is haunting, and its impact on the fandom and pop culture was felt deeply. sp8, bobo, jackles, misha, they all did a very good job. i can play that scene in my head like it’s on screen in front of me beat for beat.

the problem was the fact that 1519 and 1520 did literally no follow up.

****I’m going to state for the record right now, I don’t believe that cas is in heaven so that’s going to take up the bulk of the second half of this so if that spec really upsets you pls don’t continue ;_;

15x18 ended and dean’s ignoring a phone call from sam, who he knows could very much well be in trouble. it was quiet, he was crying, it was sad, we all cried, we were all so happy but also so sad, it was a beautiful tornado of emotions that any writer and actor and director should feel proud of telling.

the issues came first with 15x19 when you had little emotional follow up. idk who inserted the scenes where it appeared dean was really struggling with what happened but he never explained really what happened to anyone. he didn’t say aaaaanything. he didn’t explain. nothing.

there was that report from a set watcher that said in their first scene where they try to give themselves up to chuck and he’s talking about bringing cas back that he was really really emotionial, whereas in 1519 it didn’t seem as emotional as we know he can get, and has already gotten before. but that’s more up for debate because we don’t know that person’s parameters for ‘emotional’

but regardless, dean’s emotional state in 1519 didn’t linger too much on 1518. i feel like you can feel jackles struggling to try and demonstrate that where he could but what also sucks is that he’s not in charge of what takes they use.

the last time we hear dean say cas’ name is when he gets that phone call and it’s lucifer — some more queer coding and the last bit of it we see for the rest of the show.

and after that, literally, i’m serious — like go back and watch the episodes if you don’t believe me — dean never says cas’ name again after that.

so already out of the gate, a man who, through our own past witnessing of his emotional state after cas has gone, should be really just completely frozen. maybe not completely, only bc you’d imagine he’d draw on that inner emotionality and help use it as a tool, and we do get ‘that’s not who i am’ or whatever but there’s still no....impact.

1519 muffled the emotional impact of 1518.

1520 shoved it in the ground and covered it with 8 feet of cement.

1520 has a whole host of issues which like — conspiracy after conspiracy as to what happened exists but the fact remains is i do believe them when they say the final script post-covid wasn’t all too far from the original pre-covid. i know there were reports from 2020 vegas con that one of the actors, i think kim or bri, said they were still working on fine tuning the script — but regardless — i don’t think it was ever going to be too far off.

my complicated emotions on 1520 range from genius episode to oh my god what the fuck episode — but the fact of the matter is we were likely never going to see cas again.

sam mentions him in a group with others, bobby mentions him as an after thought etc etc. the worst thing is that we were likely never going to see cas on screen again because if you did you’d have to put him on the same screen with dean and if that happened the people would want an answer to 1518 straight up

so we replace him with jimmy instead and what likely would have been our last glimpse at a good queercoding, the last strong punch to dean’s 15 mile deep glass ceiling they have on top of him. jimmy was supposed to be dressed like cas, and they were supposed to talk. dean’s reaction to seeing him was supposed to initially be emotional before he realized it wasn’t cas.

but even that wouldn’t have helped 1518 because we still wouldn’t have seen cas.

they never explain how cas ‘helped’ rebuild heaven, how he got out of the empty only two episodes after he got in there, why he doesn’t show his face [which i feel like would have been even more ‘wtf??’ when we saw jimmy but not cas], etc etc. since we didn’t see him on screen, and never was going to see him on screen, i did not believe he was in heaven at all.

all this unspoken dialogue and scenes explaining to us literally, — as dean and sam hunt monsters who literally rip the tongues out of people and dean gets first pied in the face [with a laughing robert singer behind him] and is stabbed in the back and killed — that the lack of emotional response and feedback and story post 1518 was a deeper issue behind the scenes with the creatives.

the problem wasn’t 1518, cas being taken by the empty as part of his deal, etc etc.

the problem was there was no emotional follow up, no contemplating, no empty rescue, no more dean and cas on screen together, etc etc etc.

[which, as part of the meta conspiracy — 1502 cas tells dean ‘we are (real)’ and now they’re not on the screen anymore by the end together soooooo was....any of that real?]

but regardless, spec, meta, and whatever aside

the problem was never 1518. 1518 is at the good kids table. the problem was, and forever will be, the episodes that came right after and didn’t do anything with that incredibly emotional and impactful scene.

#so it's not bury your gays #gays can die gays can get hell deals made and bad things can happen to gay charactres #the problem is what do you do with that?#and buckleming and singer and tobe fair i have to say dabb #dropped the ball on that one #and it's not misha's fault and it's ridiculous 1) producers would make him 'defend cas' death' and 2)#stupid that the fandom would blame him for it too and be up in his mentions being pissy #i'm sorry #long post #salt #1518 #mc #spn cast

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transcrocgirl · 8 months

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forgive me for my sins but i'm watching a full playthrough of the arten of Banban games and they feel like a joke

like, all of the elements of a horror game are present but it's so poorly communicated that it feels like a garth marenghi bit.

the red one knocks you out cause it has anger issues and takes you to the hospital wing to "give you surgery" but is your ally. the white one forces you to play school for a while and says unhinged shit like I do. it's something I would write that would only make me laugh. the bird exists.

the mechanics are shit, boring, plastic and yet there is something here that feels so detached from reality. the orange octopus sends you to their dream realm where the shittiest depiction of a blotted face is twenty stories tall.

HOW DO CHILDREN PLAY THIS?????

I know the bar can be low but there's gotta be something else

I have to know now

#croc thoughts #text post #garten of banban #it has to be a garth mareghi bit #there's no other explanation #i have to believe

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plenary-indulgence · 3 months

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dumping a bunch of misc coconeja trivia from twitter wolqotds below teh cut

in il mheg the pixies gave him a pixie nickname, "flower unlikely to bloom" which was a MEAN JOKE!! but overall they really didn't care for coconeja, a) because he's not very fun to tease there's just no sport in it and b) they LOVE flag and tried several times to trick him into giving flag to them but he was just like "oh no i'm so sorry that's my emotional support animal actually"

he's not ESTINIEN levels of technology blind, hanging around with biggs and wedge all the time helps a lot, but will sometimes play dumber than he actually is about things just so he can listen to wedge patiently explain something to him in great detail, no matter how many times he's heard it before or how much he actually retains. :)

NIER RAIDS ARE CANON i feel like that's a gimme if any of you have read even one of my posts ever but i just think it's not only important to his character (surrogate siblings he never had anogg and konogg, learning to do things on his own without someone telling him to) and story but also extremely funny for him to try and explain what the fuck that was all about to the rest of the scions - "no really!! they looked like hyurs but they were actually androids, which i guess is like a robot but not really - umm i'm actually not sure what an android is but they weren't hyurs - anyway, and also i went in something called a net-work and a girl came out of the sky and threw the square-enix hq building at me and-" "oh boy that light poisoning really got to you huh little guy?"

he can't really swim, though he's not as bad off as alphinaud. just imagine the like shittiest most pathetic little doggy paddle you've ever seen.

he's a coffee drinker, black or splash of aldgoat milk NO SUGAR. really does not like tea but drinks it anyway to try and fit in. tataru is always fussing over him and making him tea and every time he politely indulges her but like

pizza topping of choice is pepperoni and cheese boring answer for a boring guy

he thinks of himself as rather plain overall, but is especially self-conscious about his big ears and mismatched eyes

his azem, moros, had sort of little little brother situationship going on with hades and hyth. he was always getting himself into trouble, as azems are wont to do, and they were always bailing him out with a sort of "oh not again you rascal whatever are we going to do with you" attitude.

related, emet-squelch does NOT like coconeja. 110% disdain - to him, coconeja is just the garbage left behind when his azem was sundered.

in a peter and the wolf situation, the instrument that would represent him is PIANO (flag too)

coconeja is not really a crybaby, he's more the "oh hang on a second while i disassociate and squash this down" type. he's only actually CRY cried thrice - after biggs and wedge got omega'd, towards the end of shb when thought he was going to die of light poisoning, and at the very end of endwalker after killing zenos.

the "beast" tribe he likes most is qiquirn, he thinks they're great. so cute and funny.

has a real way with animals, despite growing up a city boy. there's flag, of course, but secretly he always wanted to run an animal shelter. he always kind of laughed it off as a stupid daydream, given that he thought he was supposed to grow up and take over his parents business for them and then that imploded and he became the wol. one of the literally countless things he likes about wedge is that wedge likes animals too.

except fish - fish can go fuck themselves.

#ffxiv #lalafell #coconeja hahaneja

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