#you are not immune to the pretty cowboy :)
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Season 1: everyone bullies Jimmy
Season 2: everyone is in love with Jimmy
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you've got game
—idk this silly idea came to me after last nights ep and i just blacked out and wrote whatever this is <33
words: 1.1k | rated: g | read on ao3
They’d been lying there for about ten minutes with nothing said between them. Buck had asked Eddie about Chris and the letter, listening to Eddie work his thoughts out, offering commentary when needed.
The conversation with Chris had devastated both of them, but especially Eddie. With Chris getting older, the difficult questions kept coming. They were both finding them harder to answer.
For the time being, Eddie had settled with the fact that Buck had talked Chris through it and that Chris had eventually read the letter and put the picture of his mom back up. It was a start.
It was a serious matter, one Buck knew Chris wasn’t going to be “over” with a single letter, but it helped; for now.
Even so, Buck couldn’t help the silly little thought that kept creeping in the back of his mind. He let out a little laugh for it, quickly trying to cover it with a cough. Eddie didn’t buy it.
“Care to share?”
Buck cleared his throat as he turned to lay on his back. Eddie laid on his side next to him, facing Buck.
“Nothing. It’s uh, it’s dumb. And probably not uh, not appropriate right now.”
Buck knew if he turned toward Eddie he’d find his boyfriend directing a raised brow his direction. And so, Buck avoided it, turning back onto his side and away from Eddie. Still, Eddie wasn’t having it.
Eddie snuggled up behind him, snaking his arms around Buck as he pulled him in close, nuzzling into him.
“Inappropriate thoughts have never stopped you from sharing before.”
Buck snorted as Eddie squeezed him tighter.
Buck tapped his fingers over Eddie’s, stalling.
“Well it was just, I was kind of—proud.”
“Of what, that I didn’t have a panic attack about the whole thing?”
Buck smiled as he brought one of Eddie’s hands up to pepper kisses over. “Well yes that, but I was thinking more that ya know…our son has game.”
A groan fell out of Eddie and he was turning away and abandoning Buck in an instant. Buck rolled to face Eddie, propping his head up on his arm.
“C’mon babe, he has five different girls going after him? I’m just saying; that’s pretty impressive.”
“You’re insufferable.”
Buck pushed into Eddie’s space, nosing into him.
“I mean, I’m just saying…we know he doesn’t get that from you.”
A playful yet warning pinch came to his side, Buck yelping a little for it as he pushed further into Eddie’s space. He made the smart decision not to say anything further.
Eddie’s arm reached out, his fingers landing on Buck’s hip. His hand fit right into place, molding into Buck.
“I got you, didn’t I?”
Buck was grateful the room was dark enough to hide the flush of his cheeks. Even after all these years, Eddie still had such an effect on him. He hoped that would never change.
Buck slid his hand down to meet Eddie’s and he threaded them together.
“I’m not immune to your charm like the others.”
Eddie snorted. “You just like my ass.”
Buck quickly shifted their positions so he could get his hands on Eddie, practically pulling his boyfriend on top of him. He squeezed Edddie’s ass before kissing him a little filthily.
“Well it is a nice ass. But it’s not why I fell in love with you.”
A smile fell off Eddie’s lips, one he placed to Bucks.
“Then tell me cowboy, what did lure you in?”
Buck preened for the dorky pet name. He brushed his hands up and down Eddie’s arms a little absently as he thought over all the things that made him fall in love with one Eddie Diaz.
“Well, you’re badass under pressure, you let me into your adorable sons life, you always have my back, you’re my best friend, you’re the best dad I know, and you’re probably the most selfless person I’ve met besides my sister. You’re always there when anyone needs you, and adorably afraid of technology. You make me wanna be a better person and you just…well you love me for—me.” Buck squeezed Eddie’s arms before leaning up to kiss him and whispering into him. “And you have a nice ass.”
Eddie rolled his eyes then kissed Buck again, sweet and slow.
“Thank you Buck, for always being there for us. Chris looks up to you; trusts you.” Eddie looked down to him, those browns wide and endearing. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
Buck smiled up to him while pulling Eddie closer.
“Good thing you’ll never have to find out.”
Their lips met in the middle, soft yet passionate kisses shared between them. They eventually settled back into each other, Buck on his back with Eddie nestled in close.
“You know,” Eddie started, tapping a finger across Bucks bare chest. “I’m pretty proud of you too.”
“Why’s that?” Buck asked, settling further against Eddie.
“Well, I know how badly you wanted to congratulate our kid for being a total ladies man, but you somehow managed to refrain. I know that must’ve been hard for you.”
Buck sighed as he tossed his head back. “God Eds that was so badass of him! I wasn’t meant to be the un-fun parent.”
Buck pouted while Eddie snickered. Eddie sat up to kiss his pout away, Buck easily accepting it.
“You know, I still have pretty good game.”
Eddie raised his brows. “You think so?”
Buck puffed out his chest a bit. “Oh I know so.”
“Prove it,” Eddie challenged, Buck not backing down.
Buck pulled Eddie back against him, wrapping him up tight as he whispered in his ear, sliding his hand down the expanse of Eddie. “So are you just excited about this talk or is that a—“
“Buck—go to bed.”
Buck totally had game, for the record. Eddie was no fun sometimes.
“You didn’t even let me get to the punchline!”
“That’s because I already know it dork. You use it on me all the time.”
Well, when Buck found something good, he stuck with it. Especially at work when it tended to send a blush across Eddie’s cheeks as Eddie gave him a firm yet bothered warning.
“Fine, but I have more, that I will be wooing you with starting tomorrow.”
Eddie chuckled in his hold. “Can’t wait. But just remember, you already have me. I’m all yours Buck.”
He did love the sound of that.
Buck snuggled in closer, Eddie tilting his head up so their lips could meet.
“And I’m all yours.
Just when Buck was finally settled and on the verge of sleep, Eddie’s voice filled the silence.
“You can use your cheesy lines to pick me up any day.”
Buck smiled into him. “Yea, or you know uh, you could-you could use them on me.”
Why did they need game when they had each other?
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tagging squad below; lmk if you wanna be added or removed <3
tags: @loserdiaz @redlightsandicedtea @loveyourownsmiilee @monsterrae1 @buddierights @swiftiebuckleyhan @honestlydarkprincess @barbiediaz @spotsandsocks @justsmilestuffhappens @eddiiediaz @djdangerlove @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @jacksadventuresinwriting @stanningsky @wh0re-behavi0r @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @transbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @betty-boom @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @pirrusstuff @nmcggg @theotherbuckley @louis-tenn @the-gayest-wug @buckley-diaz-rules @muppetbuddie @gamer-kai @blorbodiaz @heartshapedvows @trashbaget @steadfastsaturnsrings @buckbuckgoose @wikiangela @hobbitnarwhal l @shortsighted-owl @pirrusstuff @goldencherrymooon @murder-trio @daffi-990 @greenfairrryy @mattsire
#buddie#buddie fic#eddie diaz#evan 'buck' buckley#911 abc#911 spoilers#idiots in love#established relationship#just a silly little thing#kel(s) season 7 drabbles#i’ll post it up on ao3 later
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I AN FERAL OVER THAT COWBOY GRAVES ASK. Gnawing on the bars of my enclosure, I am a rabid animal at this point. Imagining his darling is known as being very standoffish and cold. Doesn’t participate in any local celebrations, doesn’t even try to make any friends, and doesn’t even bother to make small talk or joke around with anyone she has to interact with, just grunts and moves on as quickly as possible. Doesn’t help that she has a resting bitch face. Oh, but she’s so sweet to the animals. Lingers on the edges of other people’s farms (maybe she can’t afford her own or something, idk), petting them and feeding them sugar cubes or other goodies. The softest look in her eyes when they nuzzle into her hands. ♥️♥️♥️
I actually see his darling as someone who is well known for being friendly, you just have to look past the resting bitch face. Maybe reader looks standoffish but people are drawn to them. It's a real problem! People just come up and share their worries with them, talk to them like they're old friends. Is always kind and courteous to folks, so they're well known in the rodeo circuit. I think they're a bronc rider like Goose, not well known for winning but well known for their kindness. I get very... silver and bronze buckle energy, which they're happy with.
But it's exactly because you're so used to people coming up and talking to you, to men hitting on you, that you're almost immune to Graves' charm. He finds you, desperate to try and flirt, try and win you over, and you're just... not interested. It drives him crazy. He's attractive, how are you not attracted to him? Ok so not interested in looks. He sidles up next to you at one of the food booths and pays for your food with crisp bills, even leaves a generous tip. You thank him, but not profusely. You don't seem even a little wooed, don't even spare him a genuine smile.
Yet you go to sit with your friends and you beam like sunshine on earth. You smile and laugh for them, take off your hat to fan your face with it in the summer heat. You're gorgeous and untouchable and he has to have you just- just to prove that he hasn't lost his touch. No other reason.
He corners you at the bar, cages you against the lacquered wood with a firm hand on either side of you. He leans heavily against his palms, flexing a little, showing off for you. Your eyes flick over him, you raise a brow, "Can I help you?" You ask like you're unimpressed. Graves leans a little closer, tips his head so he can drag his eyes over you.
"You wanna help me?" He asks, voice slick and flirty. You blink at him, some sweet mischief in your eyes that makes him want to purr for you. "I told you sweetheart, I'm gonna make you mine. Would go a lot faster with you helpin' out." He likes the way you nod, slow and purposeful before you hook a finger into one of his belt loops. You drag him close, turn your head to speak into his ear.
"Where's the fun in that," You tell him. You hate flirts like him, men that chase you just because you're a pretty feather in their cap. It's fun playing with them though. Worth it for the steely look in Graves' eye when you pull away and pat his chest, ducking under his arm to rejoin your friends.
You don't see the way his hands clench against the bar, the way he drops his head to laugh to himself, replacing his annoyance with mirth. Oh you are cute. Worth it, he thinks, worth every trouble he knows you're going to put him through. Worth a quick background check, and a dossier. No sense marrying someone he doesn't know, and that's where this is going. Soon as you figure out he's worth the trouble.
#cod x reader#x reader#phillip graves x reader#phillip graves cod#phillip graves#cod graves#graves x reader#graves mw2#phillip graves mw2#cowboy!graves#cowboy!141#I hate this man#what you are so fucking cocky for#hitting him is more than he deserves#Goose would cold clock him and he'd hit the mat before he knew what was happening#and I stand by that#she's right for it
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my concept of donut is like, he should be on a 1960s white america boyscouts poster but like, goofy about it. do you get what i mean.
like to me donut was basically cooked up in a lab to be a parody of the Good Ol’ Boy Back When Boys Were Real Boys who played outside all day with friends smacking each other with sticks playing space cowboys and aliens, rubbing dirt in all his cuts and knowing big boys repress all their emotions except Boisterousness, always says his yes maams and yes sirs and never questions authority (but also, y’know, boys will be boys so of course they’re up to Mischief when unsupervised, a bit of chaotic and violent rule-breaking fun is all fine and good as long as they’re respectful to authority and just accept their punishment with an “awwww, man! Shucks!” in the end).
a parody because it plays up how someone genuinely like that probably must be pretty stupid/oblivious/gullible to be so pliable to authority and follow dumb norms of “what is a nice polite young man supposed to act like” without any thought into “wait, what makes this something it’s important or nice to do? are there perhaps other things i could focus on doing that would actually be more important or nice to do? do i actually get or care what being nice and doing good is, or do i just like doing whatever i want without having to think about Ethics and then having a very easy set of rules of How To Be Nice to follow”.
and also a parody because he also is like, extremely gay, and he literally just does what he wants and acts how he wants and it’s simultaneously ^that whole Good Ol’ Boy thing and the most flamboyant stereotypically gay mannerisms and hobbies you’ve seen in your life. and he just fully lacks the interest in doing any reflection that would lead him to conclude anyone might see these as rather contradictory or subverting expectations. he’s exposed both to norms of good behaviour coming from conservative places and from progressive places and doesn’t really think about these perhaps being conflicting ethos, he just grabs this random patchwork of “hey this is something someone told me yayyyy :)”. he can enthusiastically follow the letter of many laws rooted in heteronormativity and toxic masculinity and also the letter of laws coming from Progressive Ideals but he fully does not give a shit to consider whether there might be a bigger spirit to any of those laws. dumbitchitis got him immune to internalized homophobia (no he isn’t actually. but he is quite certain that just Not Thinking About It means any negative emotions don’t exist. this is a foundational truth to donut’s understanding of the universe)
what i’m saying is donut should simultaneously give the impression of walking straight off a cheery WWI Join The Troops poster or 1960s boy scouts ad, but also of being absolutely A Pansy of the same era, but also of being the kind of modern queer who says “be gay do crime” not because they’ve given two seconds of thought to prison abolition but because they find doing crime really fun
#i know this is in line with neither the popular fandom interpretations of donut nor where they went with his character in later seasons#but his character has been so all over the place chaotic over the years which to me really speaks to just having no firm sense of ideals or#self and being highly highly impressionable and easy to influence and changing depending on who he’s with and Whims#and overall really my favourite donut is early seasons donut. i do not think he should be liberated of gender norms due to wokeness#he should be liberated of gender norms by how Soundly Fucking Asleep he is. zzzzz mimimi 💅#rvb#red vs blue#donut#donut rvb#alexa send post
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Flufftober 2023 with Agent Whiskey - Day 18- Sickfic
Paring: Agent Whiskey x Gender Neutral Reader
Word counting: 580
Rating: General audiences
You were comfortably sitting on the bed working on your new crochet project when Jack got out of the bathroom after a warm shower, still looking drained. It was only 3 p.m. and most of the time he would finish taking care of all the livestock around 5 or 6 p.m., but you didn’t question that, he used to come home earlier every chance he got to spend time with you. What worried you a bit when he lay on the bed next to you was his tired face and noticeable dark circles around his eyes. You pondered for a moment since Jack getting sick was an extremely rare event. Your immunity was pretty good, and you used to get sick around twice a year, especially in the seasons changing, but Jack seemed to be 100% immune to everything, at least until that afternoon.
“Are you alright?” you asked looking at him attentively.
“Yes, just a bit tired.” He answered with his voice sounding raspier than usual, alarming your suspicions.
“Hum.” You couldn’t prevent your reflex of touching his forehead, as one would do with a kid “Damn, Jack. You’re burning in fever.” You said already getting worried.
“No, it’s probably just because of the warm shower.” He answered while hugging your legs.
“Only if you were taking a shower in boiling water.” You said while moving your hand over his face and neck, feeling his skin hotter than it should be.
“I’m fine.” He mumbled sleepy, hiding his face against your thigh.
------------------------
A couple of hours later, Jack woke up, his body tired as if he used to feel when he was an agent, stuffy nose and feeling cold even wearing a flannel shirt and being wrapped with two comforters.
When you entered the bedroom and saw your husband all curled up on the bed, almost disappearing between the comforters, you shook your head and smiled, approaching the bed, letting the tray you had brought on the nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Honey.” Jack mumbled and turned on the bed to look at you “I think I’m getting sick.”
“Oh, you think?” you raised one eyebrow and chuckled “Sit down, I have a couple of things for you.” He obeyed like a little toddler, still wrapped in the blankets “First things first.” You said while handing him a glass of water and a pill, and you knew he was miserable when he didn’t even question what it was before taking it.
“What is that?” he asked while looking at the tray.
“Well, I’m having my chance to make you eat something after getting some medicine as you always do with me.” You answered with a soft smile and put the tray on his lap.
“Steak sandwich and orange juice? I think I’m enjoying getting sick.” He said with a slight smirk and didn’t flinch before starting to eat, ignoring his slightly sore throat and mentally thanking that his palate wasn’t gone “Damn, honey, your hand for food is spectacular.” He said without care that his mouth was full, making you laugh and caress his hair.
“Anything to see my dear cowboy better.” You said while brushing his hair with your fingers.
“So, I’ll not have to pretend I’m getting worse for you to let me use you as my pillow?” he asked while looking at you with his infallible puppy eyes.
“You’ll not, but just because I abuse your goodwill when I’m sick.”
Flufftober masterlist
#agent whiskey#agent whiskey fic#agent whiskey x reader#agent whiskey x you#kingsman: the golden circle#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#jack whiskey daniels#kinktober 2023#flufftober#pedrostories
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tta episode 11
“Last time, on Total Takes Action: we gave our final five a little break from their torture-packed schedule with a mockumentary-styled interview. Fortunately for the ratings, this didn’t stop a second of the drama or the pain! Scary enlisted Max’s help reviewing her mysterious 'evidentiary' notes, Peter and O bonded over being total pushovers, and Scruffy learned about their old “friend” Julia’s new relationship with former contestant Patrick. In the end, Peter stood up to Scary, but it was Max who took the most epic ride home yet after he was blown sky-high, a la minefield. Will Scruffy ever stop sobbing in the confessional? Will Scary be able to rewrite her notes in time for the season finale? Find out here, on Total! Takes! Action!”
The birds are chirping, the butterflies are dancing in the crisp morning air, a blanket of fresh dew lines the grass around the film lot trailers. By all means, it’s a beautiful morning, but there’s an air of tension.
Peter nervously pokes his head outside the boy’s trailer, looking from side to side before nervously tiptoe-ing out. Every step he takes is delicate and tiny, barely even disturbing the dew drops on the blades of grass around him.
He makes it about half-way to the craft services tent before O hollers from the trailer behind him: “Hey, what’re you doing?”
Peter winces and turns to shush him.
“Oh, right!” O says, and then immediately drops his voice to a whisper. “I mean, oh right. Well, wait up!”
The much taller boy ducks back inside the trailer and comes dressed in seconds. He jogs over to where Peter is and the two walk to the craft services tent together.
---
O: “Peter’s been pretty tense about destroying Scary’s notes. We haven’t seen her in a few days, so I’m assuming she’s trying to put them back together, and after that, she’s probably going to kill Peter. So, I’ve been upgraded from therapist to friend to bodyguard!"
---
The two take a seat at the table inside, looking around to make sure they’re truly alone. Once O gives a thumbs up, Peter releases a long sigh and slouches.
“Any sign of Scruffy?” Peter asks. “Scary might be tailing them for help.”
“Nah, Scruffy’s been a lost cause for weeks now, and they’re just getting worse,” O shakes his head sadly. “The news from the aftermath was the final straw that broke the camel’s back…”
The two hear huffing as Scruffy runs a lap around the craft services tent, red-faced and sweaty. “Six hundred and fifty-nine!” they shout. Their voice fades out until they circle it again. “Six hundred and sixty!”
Peter and O look at each other nervously.
---
SCRUFFY: “I spent the last four days crying in bed, sure, but after my 64th consecutive hour without showering, it dawned on me: Julia only… “allied herself” with Patrick as motivation for me! She must be watching my pathetic performance and is cheering me on from the sidelines! She has a special way of doing things,” they sigh happily.
---
“Attention, campers! That’s ‘roight, mates! It’s outback time! Meet me at tha desert set in ten!”
Peter quivers and O tries to pat his shoulder reassuringly. “It’ll be fine. Scary won’t try anything while I’m here!”
“Yes, she will,”
O sighs. “Yes, she will,”
---
The four remaining players stand lined up in front of Chris as he saunters around in a khaki suit and a cowboy hat. Peter is on one end of the line, barricaded by O, who’s next to Scruffy (currently doing 800 pushups on the ground), who’s next to a bored-looking Scary.
“Welcome to your next challenge- the Australian western! Also commonly known as a meat pie western, this all-Americana genre has been taken from the dusty deserts of Arizona and Nevada to the dusty deserts of the outback,” Chris explains, smiling widely. “You’ll be competing in a number of Australian-themed western challenges. Winner gets immunity, everyone else on the chopping block, blah blah. Follow me!”
The campers look at each other for a brief moment before walking deeper into the set.
Peter fans his face. “Is it just me, or is it hotter now?”
“Not just you,” O wheezes. “It’s like the sun got bigger, somehow.”
“Fancy fluorescent lighting,” Chris shouts. “We’re technically still indoors right now- it’s like a greenhouse in here!”
The campers groan, aside from Scruffy, who’s doing front-rolls to keep up with the group. They finally stop at an empty corral, where Chef is repainting some blood-spattered fence.
“Welcome to your first challenge- kangaroo lasso-ing! Each of you lousy cowboys will get five lassos- that’s five chances to wrangle a ‘roo! I’m sure you can pick it up from here…”
Scary sighs dejectedly, and speaks in a monotone voice. “Whoever wrangles the most kangaroos wins this portion of the challenge,”
“And don’t forget that these guys pack a powerful punch,” Chris chuckles. “It’s basically like trying to hold an MMA fighter with dental floss. Good luck!” he turns as Chef sets down the paint and brush. “Lemonade and the pool?”
Chef grins. “About time,”
The two walk off, leaving the campers behind.
“Is it just me, or is Chris totally MIA this season?” O asks. “I feel like half of these challenges he just walks off to go eat hor d'oeuvres.”
“Yeah. There was a reason for that, let me see…” Scary starts. “Oh, right! That’s gone now! Along with all my other notes!”
Peter winces and O looks between the two nervously, but Scary eventually calms down and sighs. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with,”
Scruffy is the first to jog over to the color-coded ropes, grabbing their green lassos and hopping the fence into the corral. “Where are they?” they shout, grinning. “Bring ‘em at me! I’m ready!”
A loud mechanically whir starts and they brace themselves, grounding their stance as a large door connected to a barn opens and a few docile-looking ‘roos step out. They hop around merrily, sniffing flowers growing between the cracks of the set and resting.
“Really?” Scruffy asks, relaxing their stance. “Okay, Chris, you sneaky little so-and-so. I see your game!”
O blinks. “Are they okay?”
Scary mumbles something indistinct and walks off.
Scruffy bounds up to one of the ‘roos and gets in a fighting stance, putting their fists up. “What are they? Radioactive? Robots? Come on, let me have it!”
Chris’ voice blares over the intercom. “They’re normal kangaroos, dude,”
“Ha! As if! Let me guess, one of them has a bomb strapped to it?” Scruffy asks, turning to one and holding up its tail. “Or-” they bound to another and peer in its pouch. “One of them is a bomb?”
They look up from the pouch to see a very unamused kangaroo, and then receive a very swift punch to the face, sending them flying out of the corral.
The campers outside of the fence watch in horror (except for Scary, who’s filing her nails). Peter and O back away.
Finally, Scary sighs. “Fine, let’s get this over with,”
She steps into the corral casually, holding her purple ropes over her shoulder. Peter and O watch in anticipation as she approaches a kangaroo slowly, then…
“Eh,” she says weakly, tossing the rope over the roo’s head. They walk around the corral, half-heartedly throwing ropes over roos.
Finally, they turn back. “Are any of you going to try or is this national gawking day?”
Peter and O look between each other and then nervously enter the fenced-in space, holding their ropes and looking between each other.
“Is this some kind of trick?” Peter asks.
“Chris already said… oh, you mean, me?” Scary chuckles. “No. I’m not going to hurt you, Peter.”
He sighs a breath of relief. “You’re not mad?”
“Oh, no. I’m furious. But what’s done is done, and there’s no logical way I can get my work back now. Might as well…” she sighs, looking back to the Scruffy-shaped indent in the sand a few meters away. “...Play… the game…”
“Well… okay then!” O shouts merrily, jogging off. “Good luck, Peter!”
---
O: “I guess my problem is that… Well, people expect unconditional support from me, but everything has conditions! My therapist, Dr. Anderson, is my only friend, and I have to pay her $120 per session! That’s just how people work!”
---
Peter watches nervously as O begins corralling his own kangaroos, taking the same gentle approach as Scary.
Scruffy peels themselves off the sand-covered floor a few meters back and limps over to the corral again, weakly dragging their lasso behind them.
“Um, dude, you might want to go to the medical tent,” O says, tossing another rope over a docile ‘roo. “You’re not looking too great.”
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help!” Scruffy snaps. “I have… to prove… my worth…”
O shakes his head sadly.
---
O: “I keep trying to help Scruffy, and they keep pushing back. They’re bottling up their emotions big-time,” he nods knowingly.
---
Scary sighs, tossing her last lasso over a docile kangaroo and walking back to the front of the pen. Chris’ voice blares over the intercom:
“And Scary wins! If everyone would please meet me on the south side of the lot…”
---
The campers stand beside each other, most at least a meter apart from the next person. Chris saunters over, still in those terrible khaki shorts, and grins.
“This next- and final- part of the challenge is gonna be a real doozy for you folks,” Chris explains. “Does anyone know how long it takes to travel from one end of the film lot to another on foot?”
Everyone turns to Scary, who stares blankly back. Finally, Scruffy clears their throat. “Thirty minutes,”
“Correct. Now, does anyone know how long that’d be on horseback, herding a rambunctious group of cows?”
Chef emerges from around the corner, leading a group of 50 or so milking cows atop a brown horse.
“This challenge will require two things you dudes are majorly lacking on- morale and cooperation. No one will be getting invincibility tonight, so you’ll all have an equal chance to win… or lose! Haha. Your goal is to herd these cows from one end of the “outback” to the other- as a team!”
The players groan and look between each other as Chef brings out four horses. One whinnies and takes a dump on the asphalt.
---
SCARY: “And then, something just broke inside of me, and I realized: I have no reason to be here! My notes- gone. My lawsuit- gone. No one will ever believe me… I’d need to call in a few favors, but I can’t do that here…”
---
The four remaining troopers sit atop their respective horses, traversing through the film lot. Peter seems incredibly nervous, barely balancing on his steed as if he’s afraid sitting on it will kill him.
O is grumbling to himself, scratching his ear and watching Scruffy recite wilderness survival tips under their breath from up ahead. Scary is lying on their horse, face down on its back as it guides itself.
“How long has it been?” O shouts up to Scruffy.
“Ten minutes!” they shout back, leading the group. Despite this, the sun is already setting over the set.
“G-guys… I think mine hates me,” Peter whimpers. His horse stops to buck a little and he screams in terror.
“Chill, dude. Animals can read emotions like that,” O snaps his fingers. “If you’re calm, they’re calm. Wanna do some breathing exercises?”
Peter sighs shakily. “...Okay,”
Before O can speak again, a nearby howling catches everyone’s attention (aside from Scary, who, much like a corpse, doesn’t budge).
“...What was that?” Peter finally breaks the silence with a hoarse whisper.
“This challenge is supposed to be Australian themed… right?” Scruffy taps his chin. “So those must be-”
A pack of dingoes springs out from behind a set piece, barking and gnashing their teeth. Peter shrieks in terror as one leaps up, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck, and carries him off.
“The dingo’s got my Peter!” O shouts in terror as the pack disappears.
“Who cares?” Scary grumbles.
Chris’ voice blares over the intercom, feedback whining. “Reminder to all contestants, all four of you must cross the finish line to win the challenge,”
Scary sits up and groans, stretching. Scruffy and O look between each other.
“I’ll go,” O says. “None of you even care about other people, anyway.”
“I don’t think you should, you’ll slow us down. You’re not equipped to handle the stress of this competition!” Scruffy points at him. “I’ll go!”
“No, way! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!”
“Both of you, SHUT UP!” Scary shouts. It's the loudest he's been all week, and the remaining two look at her in terror as she steers her horse off. “I’m going! I have nothing left to lose anyway, right?” she glares. O shrinks in on himself.
---
Scary’s horse trots through the set, dotted with green trees and red rocks in every unfitting location. As they move through the city set, they roll their eyes at the elaborate Australian-themed decorations.
---
SCARY: “I’m at an impasse right now- I could follow Scruffy’s simpleton advice and continue in the show, try to recollect enough evidence to take Chris to court, or… I could…” they shiver. “...Ask for help from an outside source…”
---
A distant howling catches their attention and the horse whinnies and backs up, much to Scary’s vague annoyance. They dig their heels in its sides and press forward.
“Come on, you’re at least six times their size!” she grumbles, coaxing the nervous horse ahead. “I’ve dealt with worse! At least you’re getting good meals.”
The two round the corner and stop at the entrance of the maze from prior challenges. Scary sighs and hops off the horse. “Stay here,” they instruct. The horse immediately neighs and bolts in the opposite direction.
She smacks her palm to her forehead. “Why did I think that would work?”
---
SCARY: “I feel like… I don’t know, I feel like I’m coming undone…” Scary coughs. There are heavy bags under their eyes and their skin is even paler. “So tired…”
---
Scary wanders through the maze without any sense of urgency, casually strolling with his hands in his lab coat pockets. He yawns and stumbles a bit before righting himself and pressing on.
A round of distant barks come into earshot and he shivers, pressing forward. After rounding another corner, they see Peter cornered in the back of the maze, holding out a stick and poking at a pack of dingoes. One of them gnashes its teeth at him and he jabs the twig at it, earning itself a nudge from the dull end of the wood. Peter screams in terror at the barks. Scary rolls her eyes.
“Scary!” Peter trembles. “H-help!”
Scary scoffs. “You should be so lucky. After ruining my chances? I just wanted to watch you get eaten before I…” they pause. “Never mind.”
Peter looks up for a second and notices Scary’s disheveled state. He frowns. “Are you okay?”
“What do you care?”
“Well, you look sick,” Peter says gently. “We need to get you back to the medical tent.”
“I’m fine,” they growl. “Just shut up and get eaten quietly!”
One of the dingoes snaps its jaws at her and she growls back. It whimpers and retreats.
“I’m only trying to help!” he insists, waving the stick around. “You don’t have to be so mean all the time!”
Scary coughs loudly. “I don’t need help!”
“Okay, fine!” Peter shouts. “If you go back to the medical tent, I’ll vote myself off tonight so you can stay and… study… or whatever you do.”
Scary looks up from her nails (which she was absent-mindedly picking at moments before) with a slightly amused, slightly surprised expression under her pale skin and eyebags. “Really?” she chuckles. “You’d really give up your precious competition for someone you hate?”
“I never hated you! I don’t hate anyone!” Peter insists again, looking up. “I’m just mad- mad doesn’t mean hate!”
She blinks, still amused. “Huh. But we’re not friends,”
“You don’t have to be friends, or even like someone to care about them,” he says. “Haven’t you ever had anyone who you cared about?”
This seems to strike a nerve with Scary- she turns red and braces herself to shout, but just as Peter covers his face in anticipation, a hand wraps around his arm and pulls him away from the dingoes. Scary carries him on her back out of the maze, jogging.
Her breaths are ragged and her eyes are drooping as she runs through set.
“Let me walk! You’re too weak to-”
“Shut up and accept my favor!” Scary wheezes. Peter does as told.
They make it to the cityscape before hearing shouts. Scary finally slows and drops to the ground, collapsing, too weak to go on. Peter slides off her back, and, with great effort, pulls her onto him, then continues. The shouts become clearer.
“Help! Scary!”
“Anyone out there!”
“HELP US!”
“This is a really inspired challenge, Chris, I gotta say-”
“Scruffy, SHUT UP!”
Peter rounds the corner and shrieks in terror. Two massive, man-sized spiders have Scruffy and O wrapped up in webs, suspending them in midair right before the finish line. The herd of cows is already beyond the checkered flag, leaving everyone only seconds away from completing the challenge.
"Well, this is certainly Australian, isn't it?" Scary grumbles.
Peter stops and Scary slides off his back, collapsing on the ground.
“Peter! Help!” O shouts.
“I-I don’t know what to do!”
Scruffy chuckles confidently. “Heh, don’t worry. I’ll get us out of this!” they struggle a bit against the webs. Nothing happens. “This’ll work eventually.”
“Idiot,” Scary mumbles, her face on the pavement.
“What’s wrong with her?” O asks, raising an eyebrow.
Peter babbles, stumbling over his words. Finally, Scary sighs and tries to stand before collapsing again.
“Okay, whatever. Just help us down!”
The spiders click their pincers at him, crawling around their massive expanse of webs. Scruffy makes a joke about Australia before being completely mummified in webs.
“I- what do I do? I can’t!” Peter hyperventilates, shaking.
“Peter,” a small voice says. He looks down to Scary on the ground. She wheezes and shakes, her arms quivering. Finally- she extends her hand and gives him a big thumbs-up. “You got this.”
Peter stops shaking and looks at her, then smiles brightly. “I-I got this,”
“You can figure it out,” she coughs. “I... believe in you.”
Peter puts on a serious look, salutes, and begins running steadfast into the webs, just before catching a glimpse of the massive spiders again and screaming and flailing his arms around. His right ankle catches on a loose end of web and he trips and falls, skidding across the asphalt and dragging the web with him. The entire structure unravels, collapsing. The spiders fall first, and then O and Scruffy fall on top of them.
O manages to wiggle out of his binds and helps Scruffy out of theirs before scooping them, Scary, and Peter up and weakly dragging them all across the finish line, huffing.
The intercom crackles to life. “Congratulations, final four! Your challenge is officially over!”
The four groan.
---
A medical helicopter takes off, carrying someone in it, out of the game. The camera pans down to the final three (only having suffered minor injuries).
Peter, Scruffy, and O wave to the helicopter as it disappears, and Chris salutes it with a grin. “See ya never!” he chuckles, walking off and dusting off his hands as if he just closed a deal.
The final three look between each other with blank stares.
---
Scary, now ghostly pale from her skin to her now-white hair, lies on a cot inside the vehicle as it soars through the cityscape. A few medics rush around her, taking her vitals and trying to determine a cause.
Finally, she holds out an arm and weakly extends her hand. “Phone,”
“Mx., we can’t-”
“It’s important,” she snaps. “If I die before I make this call, my people will personally see to it that you never set foot in a hospital again.”
The medic rolls his eyes and hands her a satellite phone. She dials a number and holds it to her ear. “I’d like to make a collect call to the Open Spaces, Toronto Chapter,”
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AEW Dynamite 2/14/24
Starting late since I made dinner and hung out with @weareallkosh and @lurkz
Ugh I used to live near the HEB center, not going to all the Texas shows is one of the few things I miss about Texas
Starting with Mox! Beat the hell out of FTR Bald!
Kisses for Valentine's day, I hope all the matches tonight involve kissing
Dick joke lol
I was gonna make the shepherd's pie pierogis from Renee's cookbook for dinner but I've been low on spell slots lately, so I made pork chops from Freddie Prinze Jr.'s cookbook instead. (Delicious but I forgot it's a pepper bomb while cooking)
*headbutts homoerotically*
Not the hugest FTR fan but I do love that when they try to do rope stuff it pretty much always ends badly
Takeshita and Ospreay gonna have to fight to see who is Best Son
Why is Wardlow watching himself flex so funny to me?
My gremlins are here! In biohazard chic!
Please let Copeland adopt Danny so he will then have three dads and be three times as immune to Christian Cage
When can we have another dance off?
Screamed at Danny countering the spear
The Patriarchy ruins everything again 😠
Daddy Magic is such a good dad, I love him
Christian making out with the belt again, oh god
Jesus is back! Always nice to see him.
Every week Swerve just gets better.
ANGRY COWBOY
"Walking domestic dispute" I MEAN...
I'm so here for this dynamic
TONI
"You were my young girl" Ma'am
"You bit the tit that feeds you" why is she the best
Oh noooo she covered her ex-girlfriend's tattoo
The business gremlins just get more adorable the pettier and bitchier they get
The Bucks are tearing the announce team apart!
"I'm impressed that week after week they find new and grotesque things to do with their facial hair" thanks excalibur
Oh nooooo leave Schiavone alone
Aww the Cody chant
I don't think All Friendship Wrestling is the sick burn Darby thinks it is because that's basically what I picture anyway
Aww poor Austin
Willow!
"Your shirt is gold and mine's Texas orange because we're in Texas and I OWN THE COLOR ORANGE"
Commentary is wild tonight
I just keep thinking how Skye's new gear involves collars and she does the Frank Frazetta pose with Julia
Blood Orange
Awww Valentine's gift from Chuck
(The gift is thumbtacks)
Oh lord he has a chain
The pipe in the flowers lol
NOT THE POCKETS
Did the chain get used?
.. did Orange just kiss the belt?
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Put On Your Raincoats | Oui, Girls (Lincoln, 1981)
Because it is Noirvember, I figured I should watch some films in the Film Noir genre. And this is a film in the Film Noir genre, so I watched this film for Noirvember. The month in which we watch films in the Film Noir genre such as this Film Noir. Now let me repeat that again slowly for the jury. Any other reasons I watched this are none of your damn business and I’m pleading the fifth.
Anyway, the noir framing is pretty bullshit and gets dropped by the halfway point. Actually, Anna Ventura starts to catch on earlier that the residents of this swingers colony seem unlikely to have committed the murder that Paul Thomas insists happened, although Thomas retorts, “Murderers don’t advertise.” But really his scheme was to bring her down to this swingers colony and get her to have sex with him and presumably introduce her to the joys of swinging. You might be wondering why they didn’t just make that the plot of the movie and why they bothered to throw in the phony detective framing. And to get your answer, you’ll have to turn to director and writer Fred Lincoln and co-writer Tiffany Clark, the latter of whom also wrote some lyrics in the theme song, which is technically multilingual thanks to the presence of a single French word. She also plays a supporting role in the movie as the wife of someone best described as Porno Al Bundy, and has a weirdly classy and goofy dance-infused sex scene.
Anyway, as a swingers porno it certainly delivers the goods and is worth a watch if you like the cast. I watched it primarily for Anna Ventura. And if I can tell you a secret, I think she’s one swell looking lady. I cannot say if she is a great actress in the conventional sense, but will note that she gets cuter the more indignant she gets, and looks looks especially ravishing in the red dress she wears during key scenes, and is plenty enthusiastic when she gets to delivering the genre goods. So I was unsurprisingly not immune to her charms. I mean, she made a rapey sex scene with Ron Jeremy in Bad Girls not just tolerable but actually pretty hot, so I will say that she’s a great actress in at least one particular sense. Also, as a portly man with a fondness for cowboy shirts, I was moved to see Michael Morrison in similar attire generally be a chill dude and having a loving marriage with Lisa De Leeuw. I think this is what people mean by onscreen representation. I would have liked to see him get a scene with Ventura as well, but I suppose I’m projecting at this point. I did find it weird how nonchalant he was after De Leeuw gets sexually harassed by Joey Silvera, so he is not a perfect man.
I also found it weird that the movie caps off with a succession of sex scenes where the different couples reaffirm their love for each other, but I guess it’s a nice message to end the movie on. There is the requisite orgy scene, which didn’t do much for me but has a hint of style thanks to the mirrors and red lighting. So as a swingers porno it will probably do the trick. As Noirvember viewing, you’ll probably end up here with as a co-conspirator with me.
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To combine the thing I said about Arwen/Aragorn not landing for me (and to agree with you that hes sort of mid as a character), and to touch on Boromir:
What would have helped for me was to really see the turmoil Aragorn has about being the heir to the throne of Gondor, because Isildur was his ancestor and so massively failed/doomed the world by not destroying the ring BECAUSE he fell under the thrall of the ring, and in the books that’s THE reason Aragorn hasn’t claimed his spot as a ruler: he understands his own failings and knows that he’s not immune to the temptation to do the wrong thing, so he bums around with the elves after coming of age and is a ranger instead of taking on the responsibility of leadership like he should. Gondor was waiting for the rightful king to return (Denethor was the steward, Boromir and Faramir also leading and protecting the people), and Boromir is right to say “Gondor needs no king” because “We’ve been taking care of our own pretty damn well without someone who won’t cowboy up and take responsibility.”
The tragedy comes from Boromir thinking HE could resist the ring’s temptation of power, and he genuinely does think it can be used for good— he wants to use it to protect the people he’s spent his life around and protecting. He succumbs to the evil the ring entices him to and spends his last hours trying to make up for the fact he betrayed one of the people he swore to protect, and begging Aragorn to tell Frodo how sorry he was.
Aragorn’s hesitance and inner conflict being shown as more of an actual struggle and his reason for not wanting to doom Arwen to a life paired with him as a flawed person, contrasted with the parallels he has with Boromir, would have made him more interesting to watch imo. He seems too stoic and resigned about it, like he’s already given up, which might be inline with the book BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE HIM INTERESTING TO WATCH. Give him a bit more zest lol
OHHHH right ok the stuff ur bringing up about boromir I totally forgot. I watched all of these movies in the span of four or five days so my brain is overloaded and I need to watch them again. But yes ok this all makes sense thank u 🙏
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Lemonade actually spent hours writing a Mikell Goes Bald fic with 746 words and is proud of it
Some explanations before the story because what is the point of putting them at the end
006: Fountain of Youth. O5s use it to stay young. It can also get them younger if they're already old.
Procedure 006: 006 is protected so Red Right Hand leaders make a whole ass operation to get it and deliver to the o5 who requested it, they need special permissions and stuff.
Dw Mikells boyfriends are the only people who love him despite him turning into his father. It could be used as an official example to show the insane amount of love and royalty they have for him
The doctor uses they/he pronouns because i said so
As Mikell Bright, not-so-beloved member of the SCP Foundation, awoke one morning from nightmares with eldritch horrors in them, he found himself transformed in his unnecessarily luxurious bed into the gigantic bastard he called his "father".
Maybe not exactly a transformation, but the moment the cowboy noticed all the fallen hair on the bed's pillows and sheets, his horrified scream had awoken both of his boyfriends. Because for the balding man, his long hair was the only thing stopping him from being a carbon copy of the gigantic bastard, he may as well be transformed into him.
As his bodyguards/boyfriends woke up because of the scream and reached for the guns under their pillows, they expected to see a threat. An anomaly. Maybe one of the eldritch horrors their boyfriend had been having nightmares about.
But all they found was the cowboy staring at the bed they had all been sleeping in moments ago, his expression emptier than they could ever imagine, tears visibly forming at the edges of his sad eyes, his hands at his chaotic mess of a hair, or his "remaining hair" as he thought of it.
"Mikell?"
As expected, he didn't turn to Sergei. As if he didn't hear his concerned voice.
They stared at him with faces concerned as their thoughts are, unable to move.
As Matthew decided to finally move and check if his boyfriend was having some kind of seizure, Mikell finally stopped holding his hair and looked at them, "I need Procedure 006. Now. Also, we need to cancel whatever appointment I have this morning, I will go and see a professional immediately."
As much as they tried, they couldn't get any more words out of him, so they simply did what he said. Told his assistant to cancel his emergency appointment with the Ethics Committee that "would be the final straw if he tried to cancel it with some stupid excuse again", in Cimmerian's words. Summoned their Red Right Hand colleagues to perform 006 and acted serious about it even though they had no idea why either, and waited outside like their boss asked as he saw the "professional".
----------------------------------------------------
"Well, it is possible you could still suffer from hair loss even after gaining access to enough amount of 006." said the professional, their voice tired from being the medical assistance to the most important people in the foundation for years. He knew all about their erectile dysfunctions, prostates -women were rare in the ranks- and every stupid complaint they brought with them.
"How? I wasn't bald before. It's been nearly more than 70 years. And. I. Was. Never. Bald."
The medic also knew how old Bright exactly was and how he was actually being pretty gentle on himself with that number, but decided to not comment on it.
"Yes, but 006 doesn't teleport you back to your old body, it only helps your immune system. And it doesn't destroy all the data in your cells you have gained through years, in your case the data in cells being a big amount of stress. You were always prone to hair loss."
Mikell knew the doctor was thinking of his father as they said it, but the doctor was mostly thinking about how much of a bitch Adam was during his first prostate exam instead of their similarities. The medic continued:
"But you weren't under the stress you currently are as an O5 council member back when you were actually young. So it is normal that's changing now."
"What about a hair transplant?"
"That could be done... But it is not a good idea to do it before you drink some of 006. We must see the results of 006 first, wait for around 3 months and see if anything is changing when you get relatively younger."
Yet another stupid shit for them to deal with. The brain cancer treatment of someone with less rank than O5-06 had needed to wait while they dealt with this, but whatever, better than some man with a cowboy fetish firing them over his daddy issues.
On the other side of the table the medic put their paperwork on, Mikell was thinking in an extremely serious manner as if he had to go under a death-risk operation.
"What am I going to do while I wait for 006 and its effect?"
This was outside the medics paycheck.
"I am sure your boyfriends will help you choose a wig."
I am actually so obsessed with Mikell going bald, the bitch boy and his boyfriends
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As forewarned promised, my extremely biased culprit/killer ratings based on nothing but physical attractiveness. Disclaimer: I am gay. Also my idea of who is considered a "true culprit" may be a bit weird so bear with me. Spoilers for all ten games!
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney:
1. Frank Sahwit: 0/10. You are nothing. His case lasts 5 minutes and he is ugly. I am not any more endeared seeing him in aai2.
2. Redd White: 2/10. Only gets a 2 because a friend told me about him a long time ago and I thought he was more of a major character and that he would become a blorbo. I was wrong, but I feel kinda bad for being wrong.
3. Dee Vasquez: 4/10. Woman, but pretty cool. Has the mafia on her side, so that's a plus.
4. Yogi Yanni: -10/10. Gross old man.
5. Manfred von Karma: -50000/10. Fuck you die.
6. Jake Marshall: 5/10. Cowboy if you're into that, but I'm personally not that much.
7. Damon Gant: -1/10. Not as bad of an old man as you could've been.
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 2: Justice for All:
1. Richard Wellington: 6.5/10. Pretty boy. Cool ringtone. Could be hotter.
2. Mimi Miney: 4/10. Woman. Not very memorable, but cute anyway.
3. Morgan Fey: 1/10. Old woman.
4. Acro: 6.5/10. Would like him better with his hair down, but he's literally the only aa character in a wheelchair and I like him.
5. Matt Engarde: 8/10. FINALLY a hot villain. Very, very cute before he goes evil, but gets worse when he drops his facade I think tbh.
6. Shelley DeKiller: 2/10. Again could be a worse old man, and I saw cool fanart of him once.
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 3: Trials and Tribulations
1. Dahlia Hawthorne: 6/10. Woman, but I love her. If you're into high femmes, that's the one for you.
2. Luke Atmey: 2/10. Looks like Spamton Deltarune.
3. Ron Delite: 7/10. Adorable twink.
4. Fiero Tigre: 4/10. Smh the original is always better than the bootleg.
5. Viola Cadaverini: 4/10. Woman. Really skinny. Not much to say.
6. Godot: 9/10. You KNOW my mans is getting a high score <3
Apollo Justice Ace Attorney:
1. Kristoph Gavin: 9273897/10 AAAAAAA
2. Alita Tiala: 4/10. Another high femme woman.
3. Daryan Crescend: 4/10. Could be hotter if his hair wasn't Like That.
4. Valant Gramarye: 3/10. Could be a hotter old man.
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth:
1. Jacques Portsman: 3/10. Major Eh vibes from this guy.
2. Cammy Meele: 4/10. Another kinda cute but not that memorable woman.
3. Lance Amano: 5/10. Femme. Not much else to say. I like his hair.
4. Ernest Amano: 0/10. Yeah. Old man.
5. Callisto Yew: 5/10. Another high femme woman, I think her sprites are cute tho.
6. Quercus Alba: -10/10. Gross old man.
Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor's Path:
1. Horace Knightley: -100/10. Nasty.
2. Patricia Roland: 3.5/10. Woman. Her fox is the best part of her.
3. Dane Gustavia: 5.5/10. Really cool design but not my type. His song is sick tho.
4. Blaise Debeste: -10000/10. Nasty gross man with a terrible beard. Nasty.
5. Simon Keyes: 8.5/10. LOVE him. I am not immune to a sexy clown. Sorta awkward but cute before, but letting his hair down really did it for me.
Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies:
1. Ted Tonate: -1/10. Gross.
2. Florent L'Belle: 2/10. Ehhh.
3. Aristotle Means: -50/10. He scares me.
4. Bobby Fullbright: 3/10. I want him to be hot so bad. I call him Midbright.
5. Aura Blackquill: 6/10. I like her!! Her hair is stupid tho.
6. Marlon Rimes: 2.5/10. Extremely grossly skinny pre-transformation, weirdly buff post-transformation.
The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures:
1. Jezaille Brett/Asa Shinn: 4/10. I love her swan hat.
2. Magnus McGuilded: -500/10. He makes me SO uncomfortable to look at.
3. Ashley Greydon: 8/10. I like him. Weirdo twink. <3
Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice:
1. Pees'lubn Andistan'dhin: 2/10. He looks like my stepdad. No thanks.
2. Roger Retinz: 3/10. Robert Downey Jr. That's all I have to say.
3. Tahrust Inmee: 2/10. Sorry not into the skinny bald thing going on. He's a good man tho.
4. Beh'leeb Inmee: 4/10. Plain, but not bad woman.
5. Geiru Toneido: 5/10. The big one. Personally I do not have a bad case of clussy fever, but her design is cute! She reminds me of Pinkie Pie.
6. Ga'ran Sigatar Khura'in: 3/10. Her evil design unnerves me. She's overall just pretty mid of a villain.
7. Pierce Nichody: 9.5/10. Bro.... When he brings out the mask and the scalpel I can't handle it.... I was hoping he would be a villain from the beginning because I knew it would be hot if he was....
The Great Ace Attorney 2: Resolve:
1. Raiten Menimemo: 7/10. Kind of a twunk. Reblog.
2. William Shamspeare: 2/10. I appreciate the commitment but not for me thanks.
3. Olive Green: 4/10. Woman, but she's cute!
4. Enoch Drebber: 8/10. Auughh.
5. Courtney Sithe: 8/10. Hottest woman. Almost converted me.
6. Seishiro Jigoku: 5.5/10. Could be hotter if he didn't look like hipster Rasputin.
7. Mael Stronghart: 9/10. How did this happen to me. I did not like him before but now I do. What happened.
#ace attorney#feel free to boo throw tomatoes etc#my tastes are very specific and strange you must understand
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icarus slumps over, exhausted from ( yet another ) all-nighter. head plops against his friend's shoulder with a tired huff. "alright, vibe check time. if you could compare me to anyone from cowboy bebop... who would i be and why?" // ksjdcnd it's been too long since these two talked so have this.
UNPROMPTED ASKS. » always accepting!
"Ah!" The moment Vivian senses his head plopping down against her shoulder, she'll jump a little but would immediately relax upon realizing it was just Icarus... pretty much using her as a makeshift pillow. Despite this being the case, however, a soft, rosy hue would still plummet along her cheeks, because he was suddenly so much closer, reminding her again that she was not quite immune to real men, no matter how brightly coloured their hair was or how non-heterosexual they seemed... then again, she supposed she had no evidence to really suggest what his sexuality was, yet regardless, it doesn't take long for her to shoot Icarus an inquisitive glance when next he spoke.
"Hm... welp, if I had to say, maybe Ein? Because you're always so smile-y... not to mention a very good boy," came her eventual answer. Honestly, she hadn't really meant the last part in a sexual way, but to Icarus, it might as well come across that way. Considering how lovable and cheerful he was, though, Vivian did mean every word she said. "...But you, my friend, look as if you hadn't slept a single wink. Seriously, are you sure you would rather talk to me about Cowboy Bebop than take a long, deserved nap?"
@strywoven
#strywoven#║▌ ⧼ ⸢ ʚɞ ⸣︳m̲o̲d̲e̲r̲n̲. ⧽ ― ENTER THE MANLY HEROINE OF JUSTICE.#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( PUBLISHED ) ⤹ •• 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕤.#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( QUEUED ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕣𝕪.#[ HELLO MAVERICK ]#[ and yes it certainly has been a long time... but i'm glad to have you back in my notifs again! ]#[ as always though thank you for the ask ]#[ to tell you the truth i legit wasn't expecting it ]#[ especially since i was under the impression i didn't have a massive dash presence due to my blogs running on queue ]#[ and the fact i ended up deleting the last meme i reblogged out of embarrassment ]#[ EVEN SO!! i'm happy to be noticed by you ]#[ if you want feel free to even continue this into a thread ]
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FFVII Advent Calendar 2: Dec. 22
So on today’s docket: Ultimate Weapon and Midgar!
Ultimate Weapon is a fun roaming boss who I died to at one point. Eventually I killed him with Tifa quad-casting Flare (via Quadra Magic-Contain). He responded with his own, the learnable Shadow Flare. Tifa totally learned it! She did a fun pirouette and then collapsed over dead from 7000 damage. It was mondo funny.
Anyway Cloud and Cid’s triple growth kept birthing new Materia. That was also really funny.
I wound up swapping Tifa’s white mage materia over to Cid a while ago and then I finally swapped them back over — to Cloud. Now Cloud is set up to either be dealing crazy status effects via Hades-Added Effect, he himself is immune to them via the Ribbon, and he’s also equipped to cure, heal, revive, and haste the entire party. Cid is set up primarily as a black mage sorta? Tifa is the heavier black magic user, though, with Comet-MP Turbo (lv3) and the aforementioned Quadra Magic-Contain.
Made my way through Midgar pretty easily, mostly thanks to Tifa and Trine. Paid a visit to the Shinra Building for fun and then made my way through Proud Clod to Hojo. Again, Tifa’s quad-cast Flare proved to be murderous, and her enemy skills were perfect. Also the fact that she couldn’t be silenced was nice.
Began to get the remainder of the party set up for the final boss gauntlet by doling out good armor to everyone.
See you, Sword Cowboy!
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Batin, is it real Billy hours???????
im gonna be honest chef, its been billy hours for at least a couple weeks now <3
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Stocking Stuffer Sunday - Fic - What Follows
[[follow up to a drabble inspired by the first Thirsty Thursday pic set :D ]]
On November 2nd, Stiles posts a picture of himself by a lake in Estes Park. He sits on a rock he clearly had to wade to, with boots and jeans back on. His plaid shirt is half open under his coat, nothing under the shirt; his hair’s blown by the wind. He looks every inch the approximation of a modern cowboy as told by a romance novel, and sure, it’s not real—and Peter wants to see the real, he truly does. He’ll wait until Stiles posts a story that will almost certainly show him nearly falling in the lake, and he’ll love that—but he’s a man, too. He’s not immune to tricks of lighting and setting and strategic undressing. He’s not immune to beautiful boys—this one least of all.
He looks in the back of the limo on the way to his meeting, looks again that night after dinner by himself in his hotel room, and thinks about touching his dick. He does in the shower, then looks again after bed—and there are the outtakes, Stiles with the same red haired girl Peter’s seen him with sometimes before. His best friend, he’d said. They’re laughing at the edge of the water, Stiles hopping and high pitched cursing at the cold, and Peter finds himself laughing in the dark with them.
There’s something to be said for that, probably—an essay on social media, how it connects the world, and doesn’t change the fact that you can still be one man in a glorified box with no one to hear you.
Maybe it’s the reminder of his own loneliness that makes him do the stupid thing that he’s avoided for months; maybe it’s Colorado. His memories of being there with Derek are so warm, so tightly kept.
Before he falls asleep, Peter snatches the phone back off his nightstand, and opens Instagram one more time.
Stiles’ DM’s are open.
Peter doesn’t let himself think; just types.
While you’re there, you have to see the Stanley. It’s a tourist trap that’s worth it, even with all the mountains to see. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
He locks his phone, and expects nothing, intends to wake up to nothing—but it chimes before it even hits his chest.
Oh don’t worry; I want to. It’s a little out of the price range right now, though, and I want to stay there, get the real experience, see a ghost 👻 – youcantpronounceitanyway
The very first thought Peter has isn’t one he can voice. This isn’t a sugarbaby dating site; this is Instagram, and for all that he’s watched Stiles like a goddamn hawk for months, to the boy he’s nothing but a stranger, an older man creeping on him like so many others do. Peter’s read the comments.
Never saw a ghost there, but the views and the history were worth it anyway. The place does have a presence. I’m sure that’s a disappointment. -hale7
All that tells me is that you’re a quitter, or you have terrible energy, and I gotta say you don’t look like a guy with terrible energy 😉 I mean, not from that thumbnail anyway. Full assessment pending – youcantpronounceitanyway
I may not use Instagram often, but I do have a few pictures up. -hale7
Yeah, and they’re locked- which I mean, totally cool, you don’t have to add me; I appreciate the heads up – youcantpronounceitanyway
Shit. It sounds like backing up—of course it does, because while he’d been focused on that window, Stiles had requested to follow him, and he hadn’t even noticed. He’s not ancient; most of the time he’s pretty good with technology. It might be worth it to tell him he was distracted, might be better to just let it go.
Peter allows him, and goes back.
I hadn’t noticed; getting ready for bed. You can give me your assessment in the morning. -hale7
He has to leave it there; he has to. If he doesn’t, this might turn into a worse idea than he anticipated. Peter puts his phone on vibrate, and goes to sleep.
===
He checks Instagram before he’s even properly awake. Apparently, Stiles assessment is nothing but fevered emojis. It dates him; it’s endearing. And yes, Peter can’t help but preen a little—they mostly weren’t even his best pictures, just one in a suit, one by the pool, and handful with family. The most recent shows him with Derek and Chris’ daughter held against his chest, the day she was born.
He can’t look at that one just now; if he does, he’ll want to go home, and he’s in Boston another two weeks at least.
I’ll take that as a passing grade. -hale7
Again, he doesn’t expect an answer—it’s nearly 4 AM in Colorado, but he’s barely out of bed and taming his hair when the phone chimes again.
Your energy passes with flying colors and bonus points. Such great energy. 14/10. If we were in the same place, I’d bet money I don’t have that my energy and your energy would be enough to summon like, at least five ghosts. – youcantpronounceitanyway
Peter’s own laughter shocks him, rough with sleep, jarring in the quiet.
I don’t think that’s how most people define good energy. -hale7
Yeah, well, non-ghost energy is boring, and you are not that, if I may say—which I think I can, cause you messaged me first. – youcantpronounceitanyway
It’s there, at his acknowledgement, that Peter stops. He’s in front of the hotel mirror, shirtless, unshaven, his hair half done and his brush still by his hand. He’s too distracted to finish it properly or start anything else, going about getting ready with 75% of his mind firmly on his phone, listening and listening. Is he really doing this? Is he flirting with the kid he’s watched too long and too intently to not feel a bit like a predator, even if Stiles is 20?
When he closes his eyes to breathe, it’s not the romance novel cowboy staring down the sunset he sees, but the boy in the garden, shaking his hand and showing his spider bite off to the phone so close the pinpricks on his skin had blurred. Peter had wanted to kiss it, to hold his hand and take the sting.
Stupid or not, this isn’t some run of the mill influencer crush; it isn’t. He’s seen a hundred beautiful boys; none of them are anything like this one.
Peter leaves the brush, and swipes up his phone.
Compliment me as much as you like; it’ll get you everywhere- just know I intend to return the favor. -hale7
Whatever this is, he’s doing it.
#stocking stuffer sunday#steter#steter secret santa#steter secret santa 2021#submission#whreflections
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Would it be alright if you shared some headcanons about the Crowned Kings au?
Oh, absolutely! Love talking about my bastard boys!
- Paul and Patrick also work for the King's Army! Paul is in charge of communications and is a chronic chain smoker--but he's also a wicked sharp shooter with his revolvers, a regular cowboy.
Patrick is Chief of Security and is in charge of defense of the base. He keeps tabs on cameras and personal and it's his business to know your business.
- Edd currently has fourteen cats living in his suite. Their names are Matilda (f, named after Matt), Pawssanova (m), Lucifer (m), Bingo (f), Cleo (f), Meeps (m), Pure (f), Gigabite (f), Kitt (m), Obi Paws Kenobi (m), Apawllo (m), Aslan (m), Peaches (f), Cream (m, Peaches’ brother)
- Tord was kicked out of college because his experiments were “morally questionable”. Also he’d unleashed a hoard of mutated rabbits on campus. After that, he was working like three jobs to try and make ends meet. He got sick a lot because of a slightly compromised immune system and felt like a useless burden to his friends.
- If Tord hadn’t dosed Tom with the Kaiju Formula, Tom’s liver would have failed a few months later and likely killed him.
- Tom’s parents died when he was very little and he got tossed around from home to home. Tord’s parents were constantly fighting each other or beating him up, so he often ran away from home to stay with friends or sleep on the streets. Edd never knew his parents and was raised by his horribly strict and abusive grandfather. Matt came from a well to do family; his parents showed him off like a trophy and lavished him with praise...until they caught him kissing a boy. Then they disowned him and kicked him out of the house.
- Tom doesn’t like hospitals, doctors, and isn’t overly fond of Tord’s labs. He gets whiny, twitchy, and uncomfortable. Tord calls him “big guy” if he knows Tom’s stressed or upset; it’s a term of comfort and endearment so it gets said a lot when Tom has to be in Tord’s labs.
- The other three call Tord “Tordie” as an affectionate nickname.
- Actually, Edd has nicknames for pretty much everybody. These can be a form of affection ooorrr a way that Edd specifically needles other people to get a rise out of them. (for example, he calls @eddsworldrus‘ Space AU Edd “Fishsticks”)
- Tom can breathe fireballs! It’s a recent mutation so he’s still learning to use it and he can use it in either his human or shifted forms. He has glands near the bottom of his jaw that lead to openings underneath his tongue. These glands produce a gooey, nitroglycerin-like substance--it doesn’t explode on its own and doesn’t have a flavor, but still carries a burnt sugar sort of smell.
An additional small sac is attached to his lungs that contains a colorless, odorless gas that becomes an acrid smoke when it contact with oxygen. The sac with this gas is usually closed so Tom isn’t constantly leaking smoke, but when combined with the gooey substance, both will ignite and create a sticky, liquid fireball. He can only produce so much of the goo a day and once he runs out, he needs time to recover.
To protect his body from his own fire and chemicals, Tom’s saliva contains a substance that coats his mouth and throat, as well as an additional lining in his stomach and esophagus. The substance has a subtle bitterness to it, like an aloe plant. Theoretically, coating something in his his saliva could make it temporarily flame resistant.
Tom has not allowed Tord to test this theory yet.
- Matt puts his hand on the small of his friends’ backs when he wants to lead them away from something he knows will bother them.
- Eduardo, Mark, and Jon are in a kind of open relationship. But Eduardo and Mark are very, very protective of Jon and tend to worry when he’s outside the base. Jon used to basically live in a hospital--they have a right to worry.
- Tom once got so angry at Edd, that he ripped up the security fence around the officer’s quarters. Tore out the gate right out of the ground. He was quite sorry about it afterwards.
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