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riiwrites · 7 months

Text

lacy

☆ pairing : yosano x female reader

☆ genre : sort of angst, fluff towards the end.

☆ summary : your reunion with yosano takes a surprising turn when you come to terms with your sexuality.

☆ a/n : this is loosely based off of the song ‘lacy’ by olivia rodrigo, this song already has such a precious place in my heart and i just had to write something about it, all credits and lyrics belong to her.

☆ warnings : NOT PROOF READ! may have some spelling mistakes or perspective errors.

☆ wc : 1k

You hated this.

You hated the fact that you were at a loss of concentration as you couldn’t focus on a single thing she was telling you, you could only think of one thing.

Although you could never figure out why you thought of it in such a way.

Perhaps not seeing her in so long made her so endearing, so captivating as she was one of the many people you trusted with your whole life, a catch up was needed, you were thinking of her because you missed your friend.

Or maybe it was her dear angel eyes, as wide and white as daisies, catching your glimpse and capturing you in a trance you could never quite figure out how to get out of.

Or perhaps it was her delicate skin, as white and soft as puff pastry, the pale skin you thought of placing your hand against as you caressed her cheek with your thumb, staring lovingly into her violet coloured orbs as you leaned in to—

"How have you been?"

The soft breathy tone of voice you had missed hearing so long ago snapped you out of your thoughts within an instant as you blinked a few times, your eyes slowly travelling up from the dark wooden table to be met with the same violet coloured orbs you had just pictured. You stare blankly into her eyes as you try to form an answer, thinking to yourself, a long pause emerges between you two until eventually she speaks once again.

"I mean, you just left without a single word."

"Do you not care?"

Of course you did, what kind of question was that?

You seemed to be so consumed with your own thoughts you had forgotten the ability to speak. You figured it was just because of the shock you had with the following questions and statements, statements that were true. You did leave without a single word, fleeing your home and your friendship with Yosano, and you knew why, you couldn’t stand being in that failure of a friendship anyways. You were always envious of Yosano and her angel like persona, she had everything you could’ve ever wanted. You knew why you left.

Or so you thought.

"I do care."

You start, fiddling with your fingers as you begin to grow more careful and conflicted with your next words.

"I’ve been- meaning to call you, I guess you just did first."

Yosano nods slowly, her lips tight in a straight line. It’s clear she doesn’t quite believe you and you didn’t blame her. and to be quite frank, you didn’t quite believe yourself either.

"I’ve been thinking of you."

She perks up at your words, she looks surprised, you even swore you saw her cheeks flush just a little bit.

"..you have?"

Fuck, you shouldn’t have said that, just look at her face. Her parted lips, her eyebrows raised just above her beautifully cut bangs. She was ethereal, and you hated that.

You hated the fact that she had everything you could ever want, her looks, her personality, her figure, it’s like she was practically made of angel dust.

"That still doesn’t really explain why you left though."

Her shocked expression fades, her eyebrows furrowing together as she stirs her sugar into her coffee cup, resting her hand on her chin as she looks up at you.

You weren’t the best at confrontation, hence why you never made the first move to try and get in contact with her again. You knew you were the one to blame anyway, but why did you have to be so weird about it?

"I’m sorry, okay? Just things got complicated and—"

"What do you mean complicated? You could’ve reached out, I could’ve helped you. I was always there for you Y/N."

Her eyebrows continue to furrow. You couldn’t figure out if it was due to either the confusion or frustration but you assumed it was a mix of both.

"Yeah I know, I get that, I just.."

You take a pause, diverting your sight onto the wooden floor of the cafe shop before letting out a soft sigh

"..couldn’t."

Yosano looks at your worn out expression, worry and irritation becoming more apparent in her face as she bites the inside of her cheek trying to suppress her inner thoughts from coming out her mouth.

"You look tired. Conflicted, almost."

She analyses you with such precision, looking you up and down so she can justify her reasons to her judgement. Well, she was right about both things.

You were tired and you were conflicted.

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No."

You said that a bit too sharply than intended. She gave you an irritated look before sighing again.

"I should go."

She begins to stand up, the chair scraping against the wooden floor being the only thing that made your eyes widen and snap up in an instant as you see her beginning to leave.

"Wait!"

You follow her movements within a swift moment as you reach out for her, grabbing her shoulder from over the small coffee desk permitting space between you two.

She turns around, her eyes widening as a small reoccurring blush appears on her sweet face. She stares at you for a few moments whilst a wave of silence hits you both like a rush of wind. The silence was rather loud to say the least, you staring into each others eyes with softened expressions as you inhaled a deep breath.

"Please, I just.."

You attempt to try and find some words to justify yourself.

"I’m afraid if I..say what I truly feel then you’ll hate me."

She blinks, her eyes soften at this, seeing your sudden vulnerable state as you then refuse to make eye contact with her.

"And that’s just..something I can’t go through again. I wont allow it."

A long pause slices inbetween you two, before Yosano breaks it

"Y/N, you leaving was your choice, not mine."

She starts

"You left with your own plan, your own volition. I assure you I wouldn’t make the same vulgar move you did to me."

Ouch, that hurt.

But it was true, you were quite hypocritical for saying that.

"You don’t understand though, it pained me to leave—"

"You don’t think it pained me too?!" She snaps before fully turning around to face you.

"The one you left behind, without a call or goddamn text?! Without a reason?! God, Y/N you seriously didn’t think I was hurt after you left? How low do you think I am?"

Not as low as your reasoning, that’s for sure.

You blink a few times out of surprise at Yosanos sudden outburst, although it was very much needed to snap you back out of your pitiful state.

You swallow a lump in your throat, you begin to sweat, why were you feeling like this? Say something goddamnit.

"What was your reason, Y/N like really. What was your reason and purpose to go off and leave me deserted like that, huh? Just tell me-"

"I fell in love with you."

The pressure was too much. You had cracked.

Yosano pauses, taken back by this. Her lips go parted in utter shock with her eyes now wider than ever.

The silence was now overwhelming, you felt your heart racing as if it was going to explode out of your chest, you couldn’t bare the rejection.

"I knew it. I’m sorry I need to go."

Not even without a second thought, you rushed off past Yosano and out of the shop, taking your bag with you.

Yosano looks behind her as you rush off, before rushing after you and out the door.

"Y/N, wait!" She pleads, suddenly feeling an immense amount of regret for snapping at you.

"No! Just don’t okay? I already know what you’re gonna say."

"Y/N please just look at me!"

She finally catches up to you, you stop for a brief moment and turn around to look at her, your emotions getting the best of you as you begin to take in deep breaths to try and console yourself.

Yosano looks broken seeing you like this. "Oh, Y/N.."

"How did you know?"

You sigh as you look off to the side.

"I guess I always have, just didn’t come to terms with it until..seeing you again."

You take a pause before recollecting yourself.

"Yosano, i care so much. God, ever since I left you were the only thing I could think about. You could take over my mind and have it as your own for all I care. You were the only thing I could’ve possibly needed and wanted.."

Yosano takes your hand into hers, you don’t particularly notice though as you continue rambling.

"I know I said I fell in love with you, as in past tense..but I think that was because I was afraid to tell you that I still do love you. I love you Y-"

Yosano interrupts you with her lips as she kisses you softly, but harsh enough for you to keep quiet. I think it’s safe to say this action had left you absolutely speechless, with the way your lips trembled against hers and the way your body stumbled back, but Yosanos hand quickly guided you back to her with the grab of your waist. She pulled you closer, relishing in the way you melted into her touch.

After a few moments, she pulls away from her, her grip on your waist still remaining. You stare at her with absolute shock, breathless and enchanted as if you were under a spell, her spell she’s had you under for years.

She smiles softly, removing her other hand from yours as she reaches up to caress your cheek softly, gazing into your eyes with her soft loving violet like ones.

"Oh, love, how I wish you told me sooner.."

The sudden words warmed your heart, you felt acceptance for one of the first times in forever, a sort of relief washed over you as you warily smiled back, tears reappearing into the corners of your pretty eyes again as you sniffle.

"I love you too, Y/N. I always have."

She continues to caress your cheek, slowly moving her hand up to your hair as she begins to run her fingers through it gently. Your cheeks turn to a more pink hue as you lean your head into her gloved hand, smiling so sweetly and not wanting to let go.

"Its always been hard for me to..tell people and be out, but I really wanna try."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Yosanos smile grows fonder as she leans in to rest her forehead against yours, you two not knowing the word of personal space and especially in the middle of the damn sidewalk.

"You don’t have to be out to people if you don’t want to be..your sexuality is your choice and your decision, it’s nobody else’s business."

You nod, giving her back the same smile.

"I know, but I want to try."

Yosano huffs out a little laugh of admiration, before popping a gentle kiss on your forehead.

You scrunch up your nose and giggle, thinking to yourself as you stare at her.

"What?" She asks, cocking her head to the side and giggling with you. You grin and bury your face into her shoulder, hiding your love filled expression before finally replying.

"..I despise my wicked mind and how much it worships you.."

TAGLIST : @solandiss @hopefulpain @forgotten-blues @ruru-kiss @abyssinspace @texas-bitch-yee @ezraisfurity @lvstyangel @thetizzler @is-therelife-onmars @atlasnessie

a/n : i’m not rlly proud of this one as i feel I could’ve written this better, but i hope you all enjoy, thank you for the wait!!