#yet more often i see people being mean to people for having difficulty reading rather than offering resources | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cdmodule · 1 year

Text

In defense of Clock TPOT (and why he’s not ooc)

I’ve seen a lot of people insist that Clock’s character “got ruined” since TPOT but to me, the way he acts perfectly lines up with traits of his character seen since his introduction. Let me explain. (For future context, this was written right after TPOT 3)

Clock’s always been kind of… aggravating. • One of the earliest cases being how quick he is to condemn Liy, Icy, Teardrop and Bracelety and switch up on them, as early as BFB 1. You could look at the whole scene really, but mainly...

Already in his first introduction he’s butting his head into conflict and goes by whatever seems right to him (rather than for example, finding a middle ground or being otherwise helpful). Also going from arguing with Liy to forming a truce with her after. I’ll get back to these later.

• On another point, In BFB 2 and a few times in BFB30-TPOT we see more of Clock carelessly talking to hosts and demanding answers. While he’s not unique to this, It adds a lot of boldness to his character. (Using just transcripts here to save space)

• Looking back at BFB 10 Clock is the first one to not only ask for characters being recovered but also informs Four on who’s eliminated.

To him, enforcing rules is important even If his fellow contestants are mad at him for it. Remember how I said he sticks his head into situations and does what he thinks is right? • Now… we're at the part where Clock disappears for almost the rest of BFB, until coming back in BFB 15.

Not particularly sad, however frustrated at his team and doesn’t wanna hear it and leaves. He’s still hurt, which I feel like a lot of people forget when bringing up his change in TPOT. • Besides being forgotten by his whole team, throughout BFB Clock doesn’t exactly have friends to begin with. Think of another BFB character, and It’s likely they’ll at least have/had one other person. Clock is just kind of there.

Despite that, he’s VERY helpful for his team, often using his powerful clock-hands to win challenges, which is very important to him. The one time he made his team lose in BFB 6 he quickly gets embarrassed and defends himself. Speaking of defending himself….

BFB 1 - BFB 6 - TPOT 3 (Last one doesn't have CC) It seems to be his default answer to confrontation. And It’s a shock to him every single time. Which shows that Clock doesn’t do this maliciously, but rather that it comes from a lack of understanding social situations. He’s restricted to his own ideas of what’s right or wrong (shown by. playing by his own rules, doing what he wants & sticking his head into situations he isn’t part of) and on top of that has difficulty reading others, being surprised by negative reactions because of it. Basically he lacks social skills. Of course that isn’t a free card to act unpleasant around others, but It’s a skill you gotta work on nonetheless. Clock has rarely shown interest in building friendships, like him hesitating to join a truce with Liy. The only time he’s been curious was in joining Loser’s or Winner’s team.

With this in mind, It starts to make more sense why Clock is pushy and doesn’t get boundaries in TPOT. It’s nothing new! Just more blatant. (And also he wasn’t even around for a third of BFB) • His personality has been and is still developing in TPOT. The aforementioned traits have been pushed since he’s around Winner, adding a bit of obsessiveness too. But consider a few things: 1. His team forgot about him and he got frustrated and left. A change to his character after that wouldn’t be surprising 2. He never made friends and now actually found someone he’s interested in, even if that interest is One Sided (and honestly? It checks out w/ his lack of proper relationships) 3. Sometimes… people just act differently around other people. I mean he is a huge fan after all, See Point 2 again 4. We are in the middle of an “arc” and we don’t know how It’s gonna end yet And about that character development… • Something I noticed is that Clock never came off Genuinely sad and regretful (maybe in BFB 6 depending how you see his reaction to losing) until being rejected by Winner and not even getting to defend himself. This time he REALLY noticed he messed up.

I assume this will be a turning point in how Clock acts and will try to be a bit more self aware of how he acts around others. That’s for future TPOT episodes though! But all in all, I think Clock becoming devoted to Winner to the point where It seems parasocial to some (though I’d argue that “parasocial” isn’t the right way to describe this, but that’s a different convo) is par for the course, considering his boldness and lack of social skills and relationships in BFB. Thank you for reading <3

#character analysis #clock tpot #clock bfb #tpot #mucho texto but like Im sorry i genuinely love his character so much #so its odd for me to see people act the way they do #but ya know

256 notes · View notes

mbti-notes · 7 months

Note

Is failure inevitable for Fi doms? Are they bigger failures than other types? Some of your descriptions make it sound so. Or is it just that they tend to take failure harder and more personally instead of learning from it objectively?

Failure is inevitable for everyone. If you've met someone who has never ever experienced any failure in life, please introduce me to them, because I would consider them a miracle to behold.

For your future reference, I dislike abstract questions. Why are you asking? Are YOU Fi dom and does the topic of failure trigger or affect you? If so, talk about that rather than asking questions in the abstract. People bring issues to me because they want me to apply my knowledge of psychological theory and research to make better sense of them. That's all I do. I don't make judgments about people of the sort you're suggesting. Even if it's true that Fi doms bring up the topic of failure more often than other types, I certainly would NOT take it to mean that they are destined to fail or that they are bigger failures, though I'd be interested to know why you'd interpret it that way. To me, it has no other meaning except that they have difficulty making sense of their experiences with failure. If you want to read more into it, I can't stop you.

Personally, I am loath to call anyone "a failure" because that would be inconsistent with my deeply held beliefs and values regarding the resiliency and redeemability of human beings. Yet I constantly have to hear people call themselves or even each other "a failure". If they are intent to believe it, who can convince them otherwise?

Taking failure very personally and treating it like a crime to be punished is indicative of an ego development issue. Everyone has an ego. The more immature the ego, the more fragile it is, and the more reactive a person will be to ego threats such as "failure". Psychological immaturity is not specific to any type, but different types may express it differently. Generally speaking, ego problems get expressed through unhealthy function use such as tertiary loop and inferior grip, which would look different in different types due to different function dynamics.

Some people struggle with failure because they can't face the reality of it, while others struggle because failure becomes the only thing they can see. Either way, the manner in which they misinterpret failure is the problem, not the failure itself. To err is human. If failure is simply a fact of life, then what's the best way of handling it? Acceptance, learning, then growth. But these methods won't be available to you until you can get past all the immature/incorrect views of failure you picked up in childhood.

#infp #isfp #te grip #failure #making mistakes #development #ask

19 notes · View notes

multiplicity-positivity · 9 months

Note

Hey so i think i might have a cat in the headspace, but I don’t know if it’s possible for it to front? Or how to communicate with it enough to help it front, since it’s a a cat? Does anyone have advice?

Hi! This is really interesting! Of course, we can’t know your system or its members as much as you do, but off the top of our head here’s a couple things we think might be happening!

1) It could be a part of your headspace, rather than a full-fledged member of your system! When people create their headspace, lots of folks populate it with creatures and other beings to help make the space feel more comfortable to exist in. In our own system, we have many “NPCs” (for lack of a better term) who are not actually parts or alters in our system - rather, they are more akin to props or pieces of our headspace. Is there a chance this could be what your kitty friend is?

2) If they are a genuine member of your system, there could be many reasons why they haven’t fronted yet! Perhaps they don’t know how to switch, or maybe more likely, perhaps they just don’t want to front! Fronting is not a requirement for being a full, autonomous, and important member of a system. In our system, over half of our alters have never fronted or have only fronted a small number of times! If they genuinely don’t want to front, it may be for the best to respect their wishes and not encourage them to front or switch out.

And regarding your troubles communicating with this cat…

In-system communication can be really tricky, even for those who don’t have any difficulties with speech! I guess we’d say try allowing the cat to try and communicate on their own terms in ways that are comfortable for them. Perhaps they’re comfy with meowing, purring, hissing, and using other forms of cat-communication to get their ideas across! If that’s the case, we’d recommend learning more about cat vocal and body language so you can best attempt to understand them.

Nonhuman headmates aren’t really bound to the same verbal constraints that real animals are! Many members of our system are nonhuman, but they are able to talk and express themselves - if not verbally than through means like writing, AAC, communication cards, and other tools to help them get their ideas out in the open. It might be a good idea to experiment with different communication tools to see if anything speaks out to this kitty and helps them communicate better with you.

Communication tools are for everyone! However, they’re often geared or marketed specifically towards autistic people. As an autistic person who struggles to communicate verbally, we don’t believe that autistic communication tools should be gatekept at all!! Even if your system isn’t autistic, it may help headmates who don’t or can’t talk express themselves better if they have some tools to aid in the process! Our system uses the apps Visuals2Go and SoundingBoard, which are both free apps you can download on your phone! We also have communication cards we’ve created with a marker and index cards, which some parts use to make statements, questions, and express ideas. You can get creative and think of your own ways of allowing this kitty to express themself in ways they see fit!

We hope this helps, even if just a little bit! So sorry we didn’t have much more complete or better advice - we wish you the best of luck with getting to know this kitty in your system! ^^

We’ll try and make a TLDR:

- This cat may be an NPC or prop as a part of your headspace rather than a full member.

- If they are a headmate, they may just not want to front. Their wishes should be respected!

- Your system may benefit from learning how cats communicate to communicate with them on their level.

- The cat may benefit from communication tools meant to help autistic people who have trouble speaking.

- Good luck and we’re wishing you the best!

🌸 Margo and 💚 Ralsei

#internal communication #nonhuman #fronting #cat headmate #long post

17 notes · View notes

pierrai · 2 months

Note

Difficulties of being in a relationship with your OCs! What are some things about them that their partner might see as their bad side or something they don't particularly like?

Hello anon! Thank you very much for your request! I'm writing something short tonight (I think! I write the A/Ns before the imagine so I'm hoping it isn't over 1.5K!) because I'm a bit tired and my health is failing, but I hope you enjoy! I included Peri and Florin too because I like them and want to write a bit about them! Hope you don't mind!!

Character: Multiple Word Count: 2526 Scenario: Difficulties of being the S/O of OCs Warnings: Unhealthy relationship dynamic, mentions of death, abuse, alcoholism

For Mira, his most glaring negative aspect is easy to guess. He is, of course, cursed, and so being his partner will naturally come with the heavy downside of hoping he doesn't accidentally (or purposefully) kill you one day along with the rest of humanity.

More subtly however, Mira's downsides range from something as basic as his simple mindedness, to the more complicated existential crisis he's always mulling over.

He is, somehow, both dense and attentive. He can pick up on some emotions yet completely miss others. Sometimes he just needs things explaining to him a couple of times before he's sure he's understood it, so if you're someone with little patience, he's likely to grate on your nerves occasionally.

He is also an indecisiveness people-pleaser. If you want him to make a decision on something, he's more likely to awkwardly smile and ask what you think rather than just giving you the answer he'd actually chose.

Above all, Mira just wants to be liked, and for the as long as he can remember, he's done his best to achieve this want. This can likely make him seem easily swayed at best or two-faced at worst, and maybe someone with a firmer sense of identity would become irritated at someone who is always subtly trying to stay liked rather than being themselves.

Eliot, again, has obvious flaws, though his are definitely centred around his personality in a more severe way than Mira rather than anything world-destroying. Not many people like Eliot as a friend, let alone as a partner, and if he is your partner, you're in for an even more burdensome task.

Eliot's insistence that he's a god can already be difficult to handle as it is. He's incredibly narcissistic and seems to think the world should revolve around him and do as he pleases, and that includes you.

Even if you could read his mind and know his every desire, he's still likely to get upset at you for one thing or another. Even if he really likes you, that doesn't bar you from his haughtiness, which can become quite annoying if it's something you're likely to always take too seriously.

On top of that, Eliot's past has given him abandonment issues that definitely push past the barrier of severe. This combined with his pre-existing god complex means he can become incredibly possessive and controlling, wanting both to keep you in place so that you never leave and believing he is entirely within his godly right to do so.

It's difficult to break through to the more vulnerable and caring side of him without bringing a hammer down on the fragile glass of his ego too. For some partners, the reward of Eliot's undying loyalty just isn't worth the trouble.

Someone reserved like Nen doesn't have any outwardly problematic issues. In fact he's very intent on avoiding most people, both out of fear and introversion.

He's not particularly outgoing or adventurous however and is often just downright moody. Sometimes it might feel like he's actively trying to keep himself trapped in his misery rather than cheer up, which might be annoying for someone impatient enough not to see why he might be doing that.

If the person he finds himself with is someone who needs a lot of verbal communication, then Nen simply wouldn't be able to fit that role. He'd prefer listening rather than butting in with his own thoughts; he's perfectly fine sitting patiently while someone else prattles on so he can be relieved of the burden of carrying on the conversation himself. It's just not his way.

If his partner can handle his muted responses and not find themselves discouraged into thinking he's bored or disinterested, then he's perfectly happy as well.

Being a demon should be enough of a difficulty in a relationship with Haine.

Regardless of the circumstance under which you enter a relationship with him, he's spent near half a millennium hunting people down and pushing them towards their demise so he can devour what's left, and so being with him romantically is bound to present a plethora of issues.

He's almost definitely made you suffer in some way. If Haine ever had the inkling that he liked someone, he'd seek to sabotage those feeling immediately, convincing himself that he simply feels hatred instead all while he eggs himself into hurting you more and more to confirm that. Getting him to finally admit that he loves you would result in enough trauma that perhaps you won't feel the same by the end.

But if you do, and if you decide you can forgive him and stay with him despite what he's done, it still won't be very easy. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, and Haine is no different; he's so stuck in his ways that getting him to accept that he doesn't have to have it out for everyone will take time.

Haine's bad side is simply that he's lived a life of cruelty for far too long, and it's easy for him to go back to it when he's feeling lost. Whether that cruelty is regrettably directed towards you or other people, it's bad nonetheless.

Jun may be one of those character where being called 'too nice' or 'too giving' isn't a way of bragging about having no downsides and instead actually is a downside.

There really isn't much to complain about when it comes to Jun at a surface level, and even if you get closer to him to the point of being in a relationship, the positive still vastly outweigh the negatives, but that doesn't mean the negatives aren't there.

Jun really is too giving, in a way that probably ends up jeopardising not only his own wellbeing, but the wellbeing of anyone who decides to become invested in him as a person.

Really what he needs is for someone to tell him that he simply can't be expected to solve everyone's problems just to satisfy some past regrets of his. Sometimes his constant 'do-good' ethos can be more frustrating than it is helpful to those who actually care about him.

Being in a relationship means you've broken through his near-impenetrable walls, but it doesn't mean you've stopped him from slowly building them back up.

For someone who's always so eager to hear about your issues, he's always quick to downplay or downright ignore his own, even if you insist that he's not burdening you in the slightest. To avoid the relationship being incredibly one sided when it comes to talking issues through, it might feel like you need to force him at times to simply say what's bothering him. It's not a dealbreaker, but it's certainly a running theme in the relationship.

In the noble society he lives in, there aren't many who would see Oliver as a suitable marriage candidate, but even if he were amongst the common people, he likely would have difficulty finding love as well. His childhood was marred with trauma that carried on to his adult life, so he's not the most cheerful person around. He often decides it's better to drown his sorrows in booze rather than work through them.

Since he was paid little attention as a child, Oliver has never properly learnt to regulate his emotions properly. He is easily upset and angered and lashes out more easily when with people he's closer to. It's only the purposeful distance he keeps from others that keeps his impulsivity in check, but if he were to actually like someone, he'd find it difficult not to be selfish with them.

His reliance on alcohol to not only vent out his sorrows whilst drunk but also forget them come his morning hangover probably wouldn't be easy to handle. Oliver is quite depressed and oftentimes won't listen to reason. If you're the upbeat type, he's likely to just rain on your parade with his pessimism. He's also filled with insecurities, meaning he'll end up insulting not only himself but probably also you when he feels like he's being picked apart. Over all, he just need a lot of emotional care and delicacy, which may be a bit too much for some.

Damien is what many would label a 'psychopath' if they were to know his true nature, though he would contest this. With that title alone, it should be obvious what difficulties would come with being his partner. If you've gotten close enough to him where he actively wants you to be his partner, you've gotten close enough for him to reveal every part of himself to you.

Damien cares little about secrets in a relationship. He's willing to be an open book, perhaps a little too open, and spill all of his feelings. Sometimes it might feel like he's rambling, actively describing how he feels in the moment as if he and you are both specimens he needs to examine. He loves gaining new knowledge, and this pursuit of knowledge extends to understand love and affection to. He isn't afraid to push the boundaries on his version of love and see where it leads him, and neither is he afraid to push you in oftentimes cruel ways to see how you tick as well.

His love is simply overwhelming. Unless you're the type to feel comfortable under his sick and twisted depths, you'll simply end up drowning instead. Damien has plenty of love to give and plenty of ways to show it, but not all these ways are fun or loving (again, he begs to differ) so for a weak-willed partner, his 'bad side' would often be apparent and all the more inescapable.

Though seemingly smooth and charismatic, Alastor would make for a far more difficult lover than one might think. He's selfish, egotistical and greedy. He wants the world to pay attention to him, and you even more so. He'll have a lot of hypocritical 'one for thee, another for me' rules that you're bound to grow frustrated with, and unless Al is worn down to complete loyalty, he'll treat you as more expendable then he wants you to treat him.

Al can become easily jealous if you treat him the same way he treats you and will make this known. He's not above threats and manipulation so even if you're as sly as he is, he'll somehow find a way to trump that.

Even in love, he must compete and constantly prove his worth. It's hard to get him to fully focus on having a partner and doing what's best for you when there are other tempting things out there for him to set his sights on.

You would have to work around or simply get used to not always being Al's number one priority, while also being expected to hold him as yours.

Orion, despite having a cold exterior, is actually well-liked by noble ladies and lords. Being both capable and from a wealthy and powerful family, there is little reason to not want to be his partner. But this is only the perspective of most nobles who have both their family's interests and their own at the forefront of their mind. For a normal person, a man from a wealthy family who values noble traditions might not be ideal.

Orion is actually somewhat of an outlier in his family when it comes to upholding tradition, likely thanks to his experiences with Alastor, but although he doesn't value the family legacy as much as his parents and can see when placing it before his family's actual well-being is harmful, he values it enough to turn a blind eye when taking action might jeopardise his position.

Orion is dedicated above all to his work in making sure he lives up to his parents expectations. The main issue with being his partner is that it will often feel like he's cheating on you with his position. He's married to work more than any one person, and the time he spends working long nights and early mornings means he'll often leave you to your own devices.

He is somewhat of a coward, keeping up his persona as a dutiful noble lord rather than allowing himself any sort of pleasure, selfish or not, which also ends up being less selfish on his part when it harms those he's close to.

Being Peri's partner requires, on some level, for you to be abnormal. There's a particular sort of resilience you need to withstand someone like Peri, not because he's intentionally evil, but because traits of his race and his upbringing have made him provocative towards humans.

Peri can seem both dense and very perceptive. He'll poke and prod until he's gotten a reaction that entertains him and enjoy figuring out why he got one such as that and how he might be able to get it again. He'll conveniently forget information and suddenly remember it later when it'll hit the hardest. As his race is one that cares little for grievances commit towards each other (they see this mischief as fun more than anything) Peri is much the same.

He isn't the type to harm others out of some sadistic want nor do anything extreme; his decades living amongst humans has at least given him some social grace and empathy and he's hardly about to kill or maim anyone) but he is very casual about matters that other would handle with more tact. He'll easily be the bystander who lets atrocities happen. He is eccentric and needs someone able to withstand him or simply keep up with him. You would also have to reconcile with the fact that Peri, who's lifespan is a lot longer, will love you closer to the way a human loves their pets than a person loves their partner.

Though a prince, Florin doesn't have the fairy tale disposition of one. He is obsessed with wealth and flaunts his money and status whenever he can. He is very loose with himself and those he cares about, often not even seeing why what he's saying or doing might be flat out insensitive or ignorant. He is simply a man with a ridiculously extravagant amount of wealth and privilege, and his personality reflects this.

It would be hard for any partner to get close to liking Florin, but especially if you've ever suffered any sort of hardship. Florin is someone who's never had to struggle for anything and has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. He'll make fun of those unfortunate enough to be poor and mock them for not being born the way he was. He'll also have absolutely no clue why doing so might make people mad. He thinks that, especially with you, that if he just throws money at whatever problem he's caused, it'll solve itself. Money always made him happy after all.

He expects you to do as he wants much like the servants that trail him around. He won't mind if you don't (he might even be amused, but being the subject of Florin's amusement isn't much better) and doesn't lash out like some nobles do when they can't get their way (he's more likely to playfully whine) but being expected to be as his beck and call is bad enough to begin with.

4 notes · View notes

philosofra · 4 months

Text

Perhaps one of the few things that we all have in common is the experience of life and consciousness, of being ourselves rather than something else, though no one has ever reached a satisfying explanation as to what this “I” actually is; no one has managed to say once and for all this is what I am in such a way that encompassed all of human existence. It is the Caput Nili of questions. In fact, in all the history of the world, no one has ever come to an irrefutable answer, though many have tried. And I have no expectation, really, to get any further than anyone else: they were more intelligent, possessed more eloquence and style than I, had studied deeper and for longer, and dedicated their whole life to these irresolvable questions about the human experience.

It came to my attention a long while ago, and gradually the idea started forming in my mind, and later the desire to put it all down on paper, to try to make some sense of it, that I have not the least idea of what it is I am. I don’t know for sure if everyone thinks in the same way — and surely there are plenty of people in the world who are very much content with not posing the question at all — but for the sake of research, and to try to give myself a feeling of belonging, I will treat this as a matter that belongs to the human experience as a whole.

So I started reading, studying, thinking and writing, all for the sole purpose of arriving to a state of mind in which my feeling of this existence ceases to be one of uselessness and meaninglessness. It is not meant to “save” anyone (partly due to the fact that I don’t expect anyone to read this), but only myself (though if someone were to randomly happen to read this, and somehow feel that what I say makes sense and resonates with them, even if it’s only one misguided soul, I’d be glad to know that I am not alone). I have to make sense of this, or else I feel I will go mad: each day resembles the last and adds no value to my life as a whole, and though not entirely dismissing the possibility, suicide can’t be the only possible solution. So I bought a journal (for the hundredth time, threw away the last one and attempted to start anew), and each day that went by wrote down random thoughts as they appeared to me — though I do often wonder if they are actually my thoughts, and not something I borrowed from a book I’ve forgotten — and tried to arrive at the bottom of the problem (why I felt dull and empty), to then attempt to decipher myself and understand my meaning.

Though as I wrote and thought, and as the days went by, all that occurred to me was not so much the difficulty of reaching a comprehension of what this person, this thing that I see in the mirror, is, but of how useless such an attempt is: the end result, no matter what I do, is that one day I will die, my body will become ash, and I will soon be forgotten. Which isn’t scary in itself, it doesn’t bother me so much that one day I will cease to be, what scares me and confuses me is what am I supposed to do in the mean time, while I wait for this end? Or even better, how am I supposed to figure out what to do? Life expects nothing of me, there being no god or greater purpose to which I should attempt to belong: anything is possible, though nothing is of use. And so the more I went on the more I wondered if there was any use in even contemplating my existence, though sitting here and doing nothing wasn’t a better option.

Then I came across Camus’ The Myth of Sisyphus, which merely confirmed what I had been thinking: there is no meaning or purpose, we are free to do what we want. This knowledge which I possess, that nothing makes sense and everything is useless, should be a form of liberation, should allow the knower to do as they please. Yet this was of no help to me: if I am free to do whatever I want, how do I know what I want?

Thus I arrived to the conclusion that, in order to figure out what I want to do with my little existence, I should first know what I am (both in the sense of what being a person means, and in the very individual sense of only myself and my experience). It seems that there are people on this planet who know who they are and what they want to do: they encounter something, find a love and passion for it, and make it the goal of their existence to pursue this passion to whatever degree they want. But then there are other people (and perhaps I am the only one of them), who have no idea what their passion is, thus have no idea which direction their life should take. Up until now I have never been able to say of myself “I am this” or “I am that”.

#existentialism #nihilism #philosophical #philosophy thoughts #philosophy of life #dark academia #philosofra #albert camus #camus #myth of sisyphus #philosophy writers #philosophy articles #philosophy

0 notes

madewithonerib · 1 year

Text

3.] JESUS Prime Example for Persevering

And now here's Tim & Kathy Keller for a short time of Q&A on today's meditation going thru difficulty.

And even tragic times and coming out on the other side with nothing to show for it seems to me to be the ultimate waste.

I mean you talked about people who try to just put their mind somewhere else. I find in myself, other people, there's a tendency to just put your head down & grit your teeth.

And wait for it to be over, rather than using it as a learning opportunity. Come up with some things that people can do to make a tragic time—or bad time into a learning experience.

The reason I ask this is because we're told in Scripture we're supposed to comfort other people with a comfort that we received so if we didn't receive any comfort..

If we haven't done anything to amass comfort —then we can not share out to other people; then we've just wasted the whole thing & it's doubly tragic.

So how do you amass those things that you're going to be able to share with other people?

———————————————————— I actually think that the main way you do that is you should be doing as a Christian anyway. ————————————————————

But under the suffering—so it's a little bit like the, what you'll often see before a batter gets up into the batting box, he won't be just have a metal bat or some other bat..

It's something heavier, so that when he finally sheds all the heaviness & he goes back to just having the bat, will feel very light in his hands

The practice bat is weighted that's right & then the real one is light; you see how he has a real bat, the one he's really gonna use along with the practice bats

And so when you've just read the Bible, pray, go to Church, take the sacrament, reach out, & help people under your suffering..

It just feels awful & yet Paul says our slight and momentary affliction is achieving us an eternal weight of glory—which far outweighs them all & right before he says that though our outer body is wasting away.

............................................................................... Or inwardly we're being renewed every day and what that simply means, I think is that when you just do the normal things.. ...............................................................................

Use the means of grace to obey GOD, to be kind to other people—especially reading Scripture & especially the Psalms & praying when you have that practice bat on you.

Then when it goes away, you're gonna find and I have grown—I have become more patient I have become more caring, I've become more loving..

Because what's happening is your inner spiritual person's being developed, is like lifting weights in the gym.

Exactly like that, you feel weaker, you feel worse, you feel terrible. Exactly like I don't like this & yet you're actually getting stronger.

Okay if you found today's meditation encouraging please subscribe below & be sure to share it with a friend to encourage them as well & if you'd like to hear more teachings by Timothy Keller you can listen to new sermons every week at Gospel & life.com slash podcast

Thanks again for watching Gospel & life

Don't Waste Your Sorrows 1,2,3 | Timothy J. Keller [Psalm 126:1-6]

0 notes

the-conscious · 1 year

Text

It always annoyed me when people criticized horror movie characters for making poor logical decisions. Particularly because my life was marked by difficulties surrounding having to complicate my consciousness faster and younger than I should have had to in order to compensate for the shortcomings of all the authorities that ran the structure of it from the beginning. So I would see somebody who absolutely would do their own lives version of (insert "stupid" idea/reaction/conclusion/whatever here from a media), as they swore up down left and right they were not like that, that they absolutely would listen to that person's warning. And then I become that person giving them their life's version of that warning, and they brush me off all the same, surprised I was right all the same, doubling down that their decision was the right one despite all the evidence all the same, continue to trip on their ego rather than right the situation in any logical way.

So I had to seethe in my silence. To make matters worse? I would share all of this, such as how I am in this post, and the people I said it to would do the same. "Damn those guys are so unaware. I'm not like that." and, then I'm in even more agony. Because yes the fuck you are. Yet every time I mention a thing people have done that was upsetting, and the person I'm speaking to said "oh, that's awful, I don't understand that at all" only to do the same thing right afterwards with 0 self-awareness.. Oh, countless times.

I still get that way sometimes. It's impossible not to be a little blind to the perceptions that aren't yours if you do not maintain them and if you maintain a refusal to accept that you will fuck up sometimes due to it, maintain that it's not your responsibility to acknowledge, address, and correct it...the thing you will be maintaining is social entropy of the collective.

I learned young to not trust any one person's story. It confused me deeply why every time someone picked a fight with me and ran to an adult they would tell a story that omitted all or almost all the wrongs they did by me, often even twisting what I did to make it worse. But when I told a story, I told both sides. I admitted what I did wrong before they would, often times, and I would say why it happened. Because of other people's inconsistencies, for reasons beyond my own fathoming I was consistently believed equally to the "I did literally NOTHING wrong, he did it ALL" and punished for lashing out over provocation that I later learned quantified torture on a few occasions. And even if it wasn't that bad...something to ask is why.

I moved to a lot of locations: Why was it like that in all of them?

It's perfectly fine to admit that the vast majority of people (and don't you dare derail this over strange ideas one can put in my mouth when they convince themselves that they're good at reading between lines; I am NOT saying I'm not included. I am included) need some ideological updating so that all this fighting and misery caused by miscommunications and the refusal to put aside arguments so we can actually get anything done can stop.

We need connection. We need compatibility.

If you refuse to accept that you're going to make mistakes and look like a clown and have to apologize for it sometimes and sometimes it's going to be harder to maintain central nervous system homeostasis during hard times so we say things we don't mean when things like being hungry amplify our minor grievances when we wail in pain.

Relationships are work. If you abandon people, ghost or block over small grievances collecting grievances, don't tell them your thoughts, don't explore them, don't ask questions, don't work through things, you give up on them. And you do things like bottle your feelings until you explode on them, and then slowly convince your brain that they were the villain not noticing all the little changes you're accidentally making to your memories to adjust it every time you loop the arguments in your head until you hate them.

And if you just keep looking for something that's already there, well, you might not find much, and people will keep disappointing you, and you will keep feeling far away. Almost nobody can afford to give total strangers priority, and even if you know someone for years and years if you don't talk to them, if you don't get to know them, and don't let them get to know you...what are you then?

Are you not strangers?

I have friends that make me feel like strangers. This is common on Tumblr. I've known so many people on here on a personal level that made them hurt me so deeply. Be it because they maintained a severely outdated version of me in their head that didn't account for my changes because they didn't talk to me enough, because they didn't ask questions and assumed their first understandings of things were the true one or truest one, or something else. I drifted from people, we stopped seeing eye-to-eye, and they didn't even really give me a chance. I am greatful for the friends that stayed with me; that grow with me, that keep giving me the room to explain through my exhausted brain that can't uphold the memories people don't even realise they demand of me.

So best you learn to look in the mirror and ask yourself where you could improve. Instead of saying a character and saying, "thank god I'm not like that" without actually deeply thinking about what leads someone to be like that, to react like that within a given circumstances, think about what that would look like in your own...try using it as an exploratory question.

Try growing. If you felt called out by anything I said, You still have ego death ahead of you. I believe in you, keep flying.

#OP

0 notes

jonathankatwhatever · 1 year

Text

Continuing on 19 Mar 2023. I’m the cat in the box. It won’t be until tomorrow morning that the box is opened and we discover if I’m alive or dead. It’s like being readied for execution when you don’t know if it is going to happen or not. That level of uncertainty generated out of and fills the space, the existential space, the sword of Damocles, that End where all these dimensions come together.

I just had a banal conversation that wasn’t at all banal except on the surface. That’s where the dimensions come together. You can see them 0, and the shape of the 0’s is what presents to us. That’s the paintings I made in college of words like Nervous drawn nervously but with creative expression. And it was the most soothing green.

Everything really does fit, which is why this End is so sharp, so much like a cusp, which means this is where the complexity 0’s along the real line, which means a boundary and a vertical tangent, and a singular point or End. I hope the idea is coming across.

While walking, I heard an objection that I only have recreated a minimal understanding of various realms within mathematics, to which I’ve attached trivial nonsense. It was clearly stated, and I paid attention. Within a few moments, I heard: look at what you just did; you reiterated from the bluntest of basics the creation of grid squares, with even more depth and clarity, while showing yet again what the zeta function is, that it Injects at the Bip, which is now even more interesting, so for example, a count of primes now literally translates into the size of the gs processing associated with that prime. That is why the value is in the imaginary part at the rather obvious ½ pole. The imaginary part now directly stands for the gs processing which has been 0’d out.

Need to take a break.

——————-

That was easy and difficult at the same time.

This is easy and difficult at the same time.

All the work is 0’ing, meaning it’s reducing to its simple, efficient gs translation, which I finally can understand, which makes it simple after astonishing difficulty.

I read a piece that gets concert pricing wrong: all the typical complaints. I paid $4 to sit on the lawn at Pine Knob to see big acts like James Taylor and Fleetwood Mac and The Eagles. But a concert then was a bunch of people standing on stage playing music, often through the house PA. To compare that to an Olympic scaled event like Eras is absurd.

I stopped after that to look at elliptics and suddenly could translate them so I could see the concept in gs terms. I have been inching toward this for a while. They literally do exactly what we’ve described, and I’m not sure how to say that. Maybe try: apply a specific gs process to 1 or more (but often 1) rational point, meaning I//I, meaning the gs process associated with that particularly I//I result. That’s lovely and extremely simple.

Now I’m going to get back to the storyline, which has developed a bit since. As I remember, I was walking along the river when it hit me that I was enacting a version of a song, specifically this is me trying, because I was and am in that box in which delusion, in which the mental illness, can be on either side. I think I saw that before, but I’m not sure. It is familiar. The argument has always been that the math works so that is the sane side, meaning the insane side is to be normal, to be the 0Space me instead of the 1Space me, to care about now instead of eternity.

Wait a second. I just was able to phrase elliptic curves so I can explain them to others. And the zeta function, which now you can actually see translate into the gs process, meaning we can say ‘this is what analytic means’ in a way that many more people can grasp. This stuff actually works!

I hope tomorrow is not my last day on this earth. There have been many days over this life where I was unsure if I could make it here. The math finally makes sense.

Here’s an example. Earlier today, I described how orthogonal develops as fD’s transform into gs. A hidden point in that is that each Irreducible thus orients itself to the flip of the other, as we described over the past few days. So what this generates is an internal and external Triangular and gs. I think I can find the words. When the End in an fD inverts to the other End, we ‘simply’ draw that inversion internally, within the boundary. This obviously fits to basis points, vector spaces, etc.

OK so far. And the reason is? Must be something very basic, like the creation of gs which are less than ideal, which means all those angles to the boundary, all the flips on this side of the inversion line, meaning we got it because we’re crossing 1Space boundaries and that does invokes gs.

Oh, the other thing we can suddenly explain is O-notation. That becomes much easier to grasp when you see the gs process.

And the gs invoked is that doubling of the 1Segments, meaning when the fD’s overlay as they adjust to the I//I holding the shared space. That’s the mechanics. It’s simple and beautiful.

—————

I remember writing earlier today that a 13 was appearing out of the Triangular to grid squares connection in the T-function. In the T-function, each 1-0Segment is bisected and that is the midpoint line of a triangle which fits to Triangular in one spot and to grid squares in another. These must be symmetries of the underlying object. That grid squares and Triangular represent different aspects of the same underlying object makes sense, but what is that object? If they’re invariant to that group, then we have all the variance on this side, which fits I//I, meaning that these would represent Irreducibles, meaning orthogonal in gs. Is this sensible? These are obvious Irreducible, so if they’re linked, then what they represent is the Irreducible to the flipped bit of that representation, that weaving together of the layers (which introduces anti-, which becomes anti-matter, as the flipped bit of). That’s deep but it’s not what I was looking for.

How is it possible to explain to people what non-binary means? That applying non-binary means non-binary solutions as well. Oh right, we never wrote down a gender conception, at least not explicitly. We’ve identified that there is an inner ‘echo’ chamber in which one processes to the limit of one’s perceptions (idealized). The work we did years back now fits to the conceptions of this same mechanism repeating. That is, any internal processing has to follow the same mathematics, so that makes an internal world, like over an HG, which invokes Hexagons. One consequence is that there is an external and internal gender identity: you are male or female, in nearly all cases, externally and that processes to and from an internal gender identity, which may or may not match. You see the same things externally: some are very much physically that gender, others less so.

I doubt I could have reached this material if not for this strange and terrifying experience. Amazing.

We separated sexual from gender identity because that’s obviously true: men like men, women like women. That enabled the 1-0Segments. Can I set this up as a 13? OK. Start with the center Bip. Label each corner in turn O, meaning Observer of what happens in the other 3, which are labeled M-W-M and W-M-W. That actually counts 12 and 13 by the act of these labels, simply 4 times 3, but it also counts 24 and 26 in the literal 2 layers which directly correspond to 1-0-1 and 0-1-0. Literal construction of I//I by attaching labels for Triangular in gs.

It comes together like we sat down and made it up together.

That was cool. Another approach is to say we have the same thing when we make a Triangular of these internal identities and connect them to the center of the HG or Hexagon. Then if you look at Hexagonal, you can see we construct or invert so the labels work like above with the center as Observer. That mirrors the inversion of Regularized gs polygons, that the 0 or the Observer expands and contracts to that center over the 1 to the boundary 0.

Note how that takes the Bip and projects it differently. I’m trying to say that in gs we have that neat intersection of 1-0Segments, but in Triangular that intersection is an End connected to other Ends so this image of the intersection roots in not only this image of Triangular but in others as well.

And since we have Hex, then we have the 3-6-4 or 6-3-4 or 4-6-3 or 6-4-3 or 4-3-6 or 3-4-6. Which is 18, and hello the symbol for life. And 24 when you add in the 0bserver to each Triangular. Which is a complete Hexagon with that 13th point. And you see 14 by 1-0Segmenting 13.

What does this mean? It makes D24 out of combinations of D, treating each version within as a dimension. That makes sense because it follows that log log discussion we have earlier today in which we identified the gs process inherent in log log.

But what does it mean? These are state arrangements: from Tri to Hex to gs or gs to Tri to Hex. Look at Hex to gs to Tri: that is a Triangular, and that is a Winding so the Observer, the 4th label for the gs transition, is in Triangular, and is specifically in the End just before we count over the Start 1-0Segment. Winding.

This is an actual gender and sexual identity model which relates the internal to the external. There are many ways, I think, to express this, including balls made up of half-planes, meaning the 1-0Segment flip. Remember the HourGlass image and that in projection. The proof is

The way this would work is that there are other internal identities, so they all together and in part - and in specific circumstances - define a personality. This fits to the larger description of Pathways and the methods developed with those.

As an aside, I’m extending more and more up on my bad toe and foot. It no longer hurts much to do that. The statistical method for easing pain works by using the idea that there are Pathways which don’t involve pain, or as much pain, and that you develop those, meaning you take the positives and construct so that fits the positive Dimensional Reduction which places these choices in front of you as you live. That uses D4-3 threads and you can see the iObjects, meaning the intangible states which connect to capability in the moment versus ideal, which is an intangible Thing, an iThing. That iThing is sort of a template, meaning it’s available to nearly all users.

0 notes

griffintail · 3 years

Note

Could you do the dream smp (separately) realizing that their child is just really smart? It could be like they're a prodigy in a particular subject or they're just really smart in general. Can you also include these characters: (and any more you want to add) Wilbur, Dream, Tommy, Eret, Techno, and Ranboo. Ty in advance if you decide to do this!

Smartest in the Room

Pairings: Parental! Wilbur, Dream, Tommy, Eret, Technoblade, and Ranboo x F! Child! Reader

Warnings: None :)

A/N: (F/L) means the first letter of your first name.

---------------------------

Eret

(Y/N) was young when she started studying the politics of the SMP and L'Manberg.

Naturally, she picked up on it with ease and rather mature with issues that arose.

Eret was very proud of her when she asked to sit and listen to the meetings to understand them even better.

There had even been a few times that (Y/N) could hold her own in a debate despite being ten years old.

"That does not justify your acts in this courtroom!" (Y/N) argued with Big Law, Eret sweating slightly as he had taken her to a case going on today for broken laws in L'Manberg.

"It does I'm a lawyer! You shouldn't even be here!"

"Name a law I don't know!" (Y/N) challenged.

---

"Yes, he did take your things first." (Y/N) stuck out her tongue slightly trying to balance in heels, Tommy crossing his arms as he watched her. "But you stealing in a return is still a wrong action and punishable. It will simply mean nobody wins."

Eret was very proud to see his little girl prosper and knew she'd only excel further when he came into her room to find her writing in a book.

"What are you doing princess?"

She looked up and smiled, showing him the book. "My policies when I can finally run for president."

Yeah, he was very proud of his kid. He wouldn't be surprised when she finally would manage to become president of L'Manberg.

---------------------------

Dream

(Y/N) was all-around smart and Dream knew it every day.

She could come up with excellent tactics and be quick to change them if need be when she played Manhunt with Dream, Sapnap, and George.

She could read some pretty advanced books and understand them with little difficulty.

She also learned how to be a pretty good liar with the help of her friends but Dream didn't know that one.

She learned a lot of different things and worked to master them every day.

Though, the thing she took the most pride in was her swordsmanship. She wanted to be just her father.

George screamed as he fell and (Y/N) pointed her sword tip to his neck, taking quick breaths. Sapnap laughed at George as (Y/N) grinned taking the sword away and helping George up. As she did, she looked up at the sound of clapping, grinning wider as she saw Dream, home early.

"You're pretty good, sweetheart. Why don't we go against each other?" Dream offered to her.

Dream was very proud to see her hold her own for a while against him and knew she'd one day become the master.

---------------------------

Ranboo

It was a surprise to Ranboo when (Y/N) excelled in reading and writing.

She could read rather fast and could comprehend what she just read.

Her calligraphy was also rather elegant for someone so young as she often wanted to write down what happened, just like Ranboo.

"You don't need to write everything down little enderman. You remember everything." Ranboo told her as they were sitting and she was writing in her own journal.

"I know, but I want my own memory book to make sure I never forget, just like you." (Y/N) smiled and Ranbo smiled as well, gently ruffling her hair.

Ranboo didn't know about her excellent reading until Phil called him over to Techno's where Phil was currently babysitting her.

"So, Techno gave her a book." Phil started off and Ranboo nodded, frowning slightly confused.

What was so bad about a book?

"...It was the Art of War and she read all of it and Techno quizzed her on it and she got every question correct."

"WHAT?!" Ranboo exclaimed.

"Techno's making her read Greek myths now."

"Techno!" Ranboo went to go talk to the other man.

Techno had another friend at least.

---------------------------

Technoblade

Many thought that Techno's child would be the most skilled swordsman in the land.

And they'd be correct but she didn't show it off. Instead, she became just as knowledgeable as her father, with his help.

She knew just as much about things from Greek myths to The Art of War as Technoblade.

Tommy would make fun of her for being a nerd occasionally but would quickly take it back when Techno would glare over her head at him.

She wasn't as much of a fighter like Techno, even though she was practically a master at most weapons other than axes but Techno was fine to encourage her with her smarts instead.

"Why doesn't she fight? She's a Blade! You call her little blade!" Tommy questioned his brother as (Y/N) was across the room reading next to Steve.

"She doesn't need to, I got that covered," Techno told him.

---------------------------

Tommy

A lot of people are quick to dismiss (Y/N) to be just like Tommy but people underestimate both of them.

She was rather well-rounded. With the help of her father, Tubbo, and Wilbur, she was rather smart and a pretty damn good fighter.

It tended to frustrate Tommy that many people would simply brush off her smarts and he would furiously call them back.

"Hey, shithead! Listen to what my amazing kid has to say!" He called to Fundy and (Y/N) grinned.

Tommy was very proud of her and also tended to show off her smarts to others. Though she tended to act just like Tommy.

She kept what she could really do away until she actually needed to do it.

"How the hell do we do this puzzle?" Tubbo motioned to the floor in front of them as Tommy and (Y/N) were exploring temples with him.

"That's easy, like this." (Y/N) simply walked over and completed the puzzle, like it was nothing. "Done!"

"Good job little (F/L)!" Tommy grinned.

---------------------------

Wilbur

Wilbur taught (Y/N) all about music from the moment she could start remembering. He took great pride in it.

He was very delighted when she started to pick up on things and gladly taught her more when she showed actual interest in it.

He taught her to play guitar and piano and even helped her practice her vocals. She picked up on all of it so quick and he was so delighted to share his art with her.

She wasn't a master yet, but Wilbur knew his little star would be one, one day.

Wilbur hummed as he strummed his guitar, staring at his journal with lyrics inside. What could the second verse be?

"Are we playing today?" (Y/N) peeked in.

Wilbur smiled. "We can be if you want. I'm working on a new song, like to hear it?"

She nodded eagerly as she sat in front of him. He strummed before singing for her.

"I heard there was a special place, where men could go emancipate. The brutality and tyranny of their rulers. Well, this place is real you needn’t fret, with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, (Y/N), fuck Eret. It's a very big and not blown up L’Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg."

(Y/N) grinned widely as Wilbur sang before he stopped and looked at her.

"Sound good?" He asked.

"Wonderful! Is there more?"

"I need to write more little star." He chuckled. "I'm having trouble thinking up a second verse."

"Well, it's about L'Manberg, right? What...what about, for freedom and for liberty, our nation sought to build on these." She sang the words similar to how he had been singing earlier.

He grinned brightly. "I love it."

His little star was most certainly going to be talented.

#mcyt reader insert #mcyt oneshots #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #wilbur soot x reader #eret x reader #dream x reader #dreamsmp x reader #technoblade x reader #ranboo x reader

927 notes · View notes

psychee92 · 3 years

Text

Why Elriel has the most realistic relationship in the ACOTAR series

Disclaimer: If you’re reading this, please take a step back from your personal preferences (ships, characters). This post lacks any subjectivity and focuses, instead, on the timeline (canon) of the ACOTAR series, and what this means for the development of Azriel and Elain’s relationship.

I’m always surprised when I read a post claiming that Elriel is not realistic, or that it came out of nowhere. While I will use scenes from the books as references, my biggest argument against Elriel not being realistic, or having come out of nowhere, is the passing of time (and compatibility).

These two characters have spent more time together than any other ACOTAR couple.

How, then, does it not make sense that they developed a mutual attraction/feelings for one another?

Remember: We have yet to read Elain’s POV, and have read very little about Azriel’s thoughts and feelings, but the little we do know is very telling.

Let’s start by looking at compatibility—something that Maas has focused on, again and again, since their first meeting.

Feyre draws constant parallels between them—how alike they are in temperament. How similar they are, both able to put others at ease without much difficulty. They’ve shared one scene together, interacted once, and Feyre can already picture it, picture them together.

Most importantly, however, Maas draws the reader’s attention to their ability to read one another. Remember—Azriel’s own family is unable to discern his thoughts/emotions and yet, Elain manages to do so during their first meeting.

This shows how perceptive they both are.

Their ability to read each other is addressed again in Azriel’s Bonus POV, but more on that later.

Then, in ACOWAR, the little hints about their compatibility increase tenfold. Do you think that it’s a coincidence that Elain interacts with Azriel moments after her first interaction with Lucien?

(It is also interesting to note the description in this passage. The image is poetic, and the meaning behind this moment (him carrying her in his arms through the front door - bridal-style? - even more so).

Do you think that it’s a coincidence that, after saying that no one truly sees her (or bothers to look), we see Azriel offering to show Elain the garden? He senses what she needs before anyone else does.

(It should also be noted that he offers to show it to her, something that no one asked him to do.)

Do you think that it’s a coincidence that Elain, who is viewed as the weakest of the Archeron sisters, is never afraid (or intimidated by) Azriel, who is often perceived as one of the (if not the) most feared member of the IC? Azriel, with his shadows and wings, with his cold eyes and expressionless face?

Do you think that it’s a coincidence that Feyre noticed the small moment between them, when Elain looked at his scars and called them beautiful? The scars on his hands are a reminder of the horrors he endured and yet, Elain calls them beautiful.

(It is almost as if she truly sees him, as well).

Finally, do you think that it’s a coincidence that Feyre, who witnessed both, Elain’s interaction with Lucien and Azriel, questions whether the Cauldron chose the right mate for Elain?

Again, we have the poetic description, and two contrasting images: brutal and lovely. And yet, Feyre looks at them and sees how compatible they truly are. She knows Lucien well—she considers him a friend—and yet, the chemistry between Azriel and Elain is so evident (and has been since ACOMAF), that she cannot help but wonder if the Cauldron made a mistake.

I would also like to draw your attention to the scene that Feyre witnesses between them. They are both sitting in silence and yet, they appear content. Do you know how rare it is to be in the same room with someone and not feel the need to fill the silence with conversation? I don’t know about you, but I’ve only ever experienced this feeling with the people I’m closest to.

Azriel understands Elain’s need for peace and quiet (a need that he shares and can relate to, as well), and he chooses to stay with her in the garden (again, no one asked him to). She is comfortable enough around him to not mind his presence. In fact, with Elain drinking her tea and Azriel reading his reports, they are the very picture of domesticity.

Then, Azriel continues to seek out her presence.

Any interactions between them take place behind the scenes, but again, notice how Azriel is the one offering to keep her company in the garden. Feyre was going to do it herself, but he stepped in. What can we conclude from this?

He enjoys her company.

So much so that, after the Ravens’ attack, when Nesta worries about Elain, Rhys informs her that Azriel was still at the house when the attack happened.

The scenes that follow are the most widely discussed, so I will only mention them briefly:

It is not a coincidence that it was Azriel (and not Lucien) who figured out that Elain is a seer (nor is it a coincidence that he was the only one who truly listened to her, instead of thinking that she’s gone mad, like everyone else).

It is not a coincidence that he was the only one who thought of her when the Cauldron lured her away. Why didn’t Nesta, the overprotective older sister? Or Feyre, who dreamed of it happening? Why did Maas have Azriel utter, “What about Elain?”

It is not a coincidence that he was the one who risked his life to save hers (and not Lucien).

I believe that, if Elain wasn’t already feeling some kind of pull towards Azriel, having him rescue her was the final push in that direction.

And it makes perfect sense.

She’s never seen by anyone (not even her sisters)—until she meets Azriel. Not only does he pay attention to what she needs, he keeps her company, and seemingly enjoys being in her presence.

Similarly, it makes perfect sense for Azriel to feel a pull towards Elain, as well.

Contrary to what a loud majority has been saying, Azriel does not need another Cassian or Mor in his life. He is quite obviously an introvert, who craves peace and quiet above all else. He is surrounded by extroverts and, if you’re an introvert, you know how draining it can be. It makes sense, then, that he gravitated towards Elain, whose temperament matches his.

Again, it all comes down to compatibility.

They understand each other.

He understands her need for peace and quiet, and she understands his.

They accept each other.

But, more importantly, they trust each other.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? That he risked his life without a second thought to save hers. By the time Elain gets taken, Azriel and Elain have spent time in each other’s company and have quite obviously formed a bond/connection—a companionship of sorts, built on mutual understanding and acceptance.

She trusts him. She feels safe with him. Something that I guarantee she hasn’t felt since being violated and changed into a Fae against her will.

Similarly, he trusts her.

Why does Azriel give Truth-Teller, his legendary blade, to Elain? He doesn’t just let her touch it; he actually lends it to her, and trusts her enough to know that she’ll return it to him when she’s ready to.

In 500+ years, he has never let another person touch that blade—not even Mor, the woman he loves—but he parts with it for Elain.

Why? Because he knows that she cannot go into a battlefield unarmed, and understands that she, too, trusts him enough to accept it and use it if need be.

We, as readers, understand the importance of this moment. Maas draws our attention to Cassian’s shock, and includes the dialogue between Feyre and Rhys to underline, again and again, that something extremely significant is taking place.

So significant, in fact, that the scene was included in the coloring book and mentioned again in ACOFAS.

Maas is once again saying how rare this is. How different. How significant.

And what about the description? Like before, Maas uses poetic wording and contrasting imagery to describe Azriel and Elain.

The only bridge of connection—because what we are seeing, what we’ve been getting hints of, is two people who have slowly formed a connection.

Trust is earned.

Trust is built.

It does not happen overnight.

Remember—the majority of Azriel and Elain’s relationship takes place behind the scenes. We know that they are spending time together—and even have a description of some of their interactions—but we don’t really know what happens when it’s just the two of them.

This connection between them does not happen overnight.

ACOFAS takes place months after the war.

And what do we witness?

Azriel and Elain having grown even closer. In other words, we see progress and development.

He respects her, and cares about her. He makes everyone wait for her to be seated at the table, something he has never done before (similar to when he lended her Truth-Teller).

Again, that understanding.

And Azriel seeking out her company.

And Elain seeing him, paying attention to his needs.

Making him laugh like no one has ever had before.

And finally, them enjoying spending time in each other’s company. At 3 AM.

Azriel would rather sit and listen to Elain talk about her garden than go upstairs with the others.

Notice the pattern of understanding, trust, and connection that Maas has been coming back to (and increasing, strengthening) since ACOMAF.

Why, then, are readers surprised by their feelings?

More than two years have passed since their first meeting.

By the time we get a glimpse into Azriel’s thoughts and feelings, these two characters have been interacting and spending time with each other for years.

No, his feelings did not come out of nowhere.

No, their feelings are not cliché, or unrealistic.

No, he did not get over Mor after meeting Elain. In fact, we went from this in ACOMAF:

To this in ACOWAR:

And finally, to this, in ACOSF:

Again, remember: ACOSF takes place 1.5 years after ACOWAR, and almost 2 years after ACOMAF.

Azriel getting over Mor has been a gradual process. Same with Elain getting over Graysen.

Azriel does not see Elain as the third sister, one he is entitled to.

He actually sees Elain, something that Maas has been hinting at since ACOMAF.

The relationship (and feelings) between these two characters has been building for 2 years.

And 90% of it has taken place behind the scenes.

Azriel’s POV is proof of this:

What looks? What occasional brush of their fingers?

We’ve seen none of this.

And it makes sense.

We haven’t gotten their POVs yet.

Even Azriel’s POV is filled with the pattern that Maas has established for them since ACOMAF.

Understanding (and an ability to read each other without the use of words):

Trust:

Connection:

This is why their relationship is far more realistic (and healthy, but that’s a post for another time) than Feysand’s or Nessian’s. In a way, it reminds me of Kallias and Viviane’s (friends to lovers), who spent years developing a friendship, which then turned into romantic feelings.

Why?

Because they’ve had time.

Time to get to know each other, to connect with each other.

Time to develop a friendship which then slowly turned into romantic feelings and sexual desire.

This is also why I connect with and understand their relationship—more so than anyone else’s in the ACOTAR series.

#acosf spoilers #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #elain archeron #pro elain #azriel #azriel's pov #elriel #pro elriel

880 notes · View notes

audreydoeskaren · 3 years

Text

History of Chinese standing collars (part 3: post republican era)

Quick recap: I was debating with myself whether “Mandarin collar” should be a thing because standing collars throughout Chinese history looked different. I went through the Ming and Qing dynasties in part 1 and the republican era in part 2, now I’ll look at what comes after that. I numbered the styles in parts 1 and 2 but they’re only guidelines so you don’t have to remember anything.

So in this post we’ve kind of reached the end of the era where fashion consisted of a single silhouette in any given year and all hell ran loose. I’m having a lot of difficulties classifying things as Chinese or Western because the distinction is really blurred, and I also ran into problems explaining why certain historical European things looked so similar to Chinese ones so there will also be a lot of confusion.

1950s & 60s Chinese application

Summary of 1950s fashion, mainland and others.

Because of the communist victory in the Civil War, fashion in the mainland was different to other (capitalist) areas populated by the Chinese diaspora such as Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan etc.. Let’s look at capitalist area fashion first; I’ll be referring to Hong Kong because Hong Kong was the center of cheongsam making at the time.

Collars on 50s Hong Kong cheongsam grew taller on the basis of collar style 10 but retained the rounded, tapering edge, resulting in a v shape gap down the middle that weirdly recalls collar style 6 from part 1 and part 2. It’s basically completely identical to collar style 6 but stiffened and extremely form fitting. It’s usually closed with one pankou at the base but because of westernization, 50s cheongsam often had no visible pankou----everything is closed with snap buttons, zippers or hooks and eyes/bars. An important aspect of collars of 50s and 60s Hong Kong cheongsam is that they left out the binding around the neck. All cheongsam prior to this point were bound around the exterior edge, the side closure, the slits and the collar seam (on the bodice not the collar), 50s cheongsam collars purposefully neglected the binding at the collar seam for some reasons. This makes the collar look like it’s one continuous piece of fabric with the bodice, which it isn’t. A lot of modern representation of cheongsam or any Chinese inspired clothing (in video games, books and anime etc.) do this, even if the character is from before the 1950s. It REALLY bugs me. If you are an artist or writer and designing costumes for Chinese characters prior to the 50s, please include binding/trimmings on all three seams, it’s an easy way to bump up historical accuracy. With that said, completely plain collars without any binding or trim was actually the most common. Let’s call this collar style 13.

Source here

1954 photograph of Li Lihua and Clark Gable. Collar style 13 with stiffening and no collar seam binding. You can see how firm and neck hugging the collar is, contrary to a lot of modern cheongsam collars which are saggy and loose.

The popularity of collar style 13 continued into the 60s. When the cheongsam fell out of popularity, it ceased to exist as well.

Source here

60s cheongsam with collar style 13. I’m really not a fan of the nude/light lipstick trend of the 60s, like, as a person with no lip color definition it makes me look like a potato.

Now moving on to mainland collars. In the 1950s, cheongsam with the 40s collar style 12 were still occasionally seen, but the fashionable collar shape also became taller and was similar to the Hong Kong collar style 13. Interestingly, some 50s mainland cheongsam retained the binding around the collar seam, making them look more “traditional” in a sense. However, collars both with and without collar seam binding existed and it was just a matter of personal preference.

Source here

1950s photograph of a mainland lady in cheongsam. The collar is taller and closes with one button, much like Hong Kong collars of the era, but the neck binding is present.

Aoku robe collars from the 1940s onward mostly had the 40s style low collar, although in the 50s and 60s they rose in height very slightly.

Source here

1964 poster showing a girl in aoku, the robe has a low, rounded collar.

However, garments with a standing collar became worn a lot less frequently in the 50s and 60s in both mainland and non-mainland areas, since a lot of people adopted Western fashion.

Source here

1950s photograph of a group of mainland people wearing jackets of Western construction. Some of them seem to be wearing informal military jackets, commonly known as “Mao suit” or “Zhongshan suit” nowadays, with folded collars.

Source here

1950s photograph of some women in Malaysia, some in cheongsam and some in Western New Look dresses.

Western application

I think it’s also quite important to discuss how Chinese standing collars were perceived by Western designers, because the Western fashion industry does hold a lot more power globally and also reverse influenced Chinese collar designs in the post 1960s era. So, in the 1950s and 60s Western designers thought cheongsam was really cool and produced a lot of affordable sewing patterns for their versions of cheongsam. I think this is also because pre-1950s cheongsam didn’t use the Western construction method and patterns needed to be individually drafted so it was difficult to make mass produced sewing patterns. From all the sewing patterns I have seen personally, the super tall standing collar popular in Hong Kong was not really appreciated by Western designers at all?? Western cheongsam sewing patterns all had the very low 1940s style collar, combined with an hourglass silhouette New Look bodice and skirt, looking rather anachronistic. These collars also didn’t have binding/trim around the collar seam, in line with fashionable Hong Kong cheongsam of the day.

Source here

1950s Advance sewing pattern for cheongsam. The collar is low and has rectangular edges, something about a decade out of fashion in Hong Kong and Shanghai. No collar seam binding.

Source here

1950s Simplicity sewing pattern for cheongsam. Likewise with super low 1940s collars. Collarless cheongsam died in China in the mid 1920s, yet it lives on in the imagination of Western designers. By the way, the frog closures with a quatrefoil shape are not Chinese, I’m gonna write another post about this. I love the look in the middle it’s very glam.

1970s and later

The post 1960s era is what ultimately created the confusion around standing collars nowadays. Around this time Western and Chinese fashions started to merge and become one, and garments made completely in the historical Chinese method were more and more difficult to come by; Western construction techniques reigned supreme.

From the 70s onward, most “Chinese collars” had the 40s rounded edge shape but were either medium low or medium height. The lack of collar seam binding persisted into the current day, which is something I kind of lament because without this binding collars easily read as Renaissance doublet... (more on that later)

I usually avoid calling any standing collars from the 1970s onward Chinese/Mandarin because 1) standing collars were never a uniquely Chinese thing to begin with 2) since cheongsam was no longer fashionable among actual Chinese people, designers who made cheongsam pulled all kinds of shenanigans without any historical precedent whatsoever. Also, since clothes with structured/stiffened standing collars stopped being a staple in the average Western person’s wardrobe, white people started calling everything with the most remote hint of a standing collar Chinese to further stir the pot, emboldened by the cultural appropriation craze of the 60s and 70s. Ok that’s very loaded, but it’s true that in the 60s and 70s there was a lot of Western clothing designs that took inspiration from other cultures without permission. Westerners could totally design and wear Chinese style clothing given that the intention is respectful and they know about the garment in question, but a lot of times the accuracy of the designs leaves much to be desired. There was also a lot of Orientalist inspiration in the 10s and 20s but the borrowing back then wasn’t so... literal. When I look at so called cheongsam sewing patterns from the 70s onward, I sometimes seriously have trouble identifying if something is meant to be Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Polynesian or any other region/culture...

I’ll just find pictures of Chinese inspired clothing from the 70s onward with a “Mandarin collar” label and point out their source of inspiration.

Source here

1972 Simplicity sewing pattern for cheongsam. It’s the same Western collar from the 50s and 60s just slightly taller. Oh and the closures used on the two designs in the middle are again likely not pankou. After the 60s, this neck design with a oval shape keyhole cutout became quite common and that persisted to the current day. Don’t know what the purpose of that was, just because you show 5 square centimeters more skin doesn’t mean your cheongsam is sexier?

Source here

The description of this 70s Simplicity pattern says “Mandarin collar” but the source of inspiration is obviously Japanese military/school uniforms, AGAIN. The collar’s height and rectangular edges, combined with the placement of buttons above the waist on the bodice, everything about this reads as Japanese. The frog closures on the left are once again European and not Chinese pankou (sheesh I really need to make this other post). The original designer probably meant for it to be Japanese but the seller mistakenly labelled it a Mandarin collar design.

Source here

70s Teresa Teng (rest in power legend) in a theatrical cheongsam with a similar collar, either a stretched version of the 40s collar or a shrunk version of the 50s/60s one.

Source here

Google search result for “Mandarin collar dress”. Same Western low collar from the 70s. A new problem with modern mass produced cheongsam is that the collar oftentimes doesn’t fit the wearer and appears too baggy. Or maybe it’s not mass production, just that people nowadays are very unaccustomed to wearing tight fitting standing collars so they assume there needs to be some extra space? As someone who wears stiff standing collars on a regular basis I have to say it actually isn’t uncomfortable at all and elongates your neck a lot better. This is what most cheongsam collars nowadays look like, even the self proclaimed “traditional” ones, they literally originated from 1950s/60s Western sewing pattern companies’ interpretation of contemporary Chinese cheongsam collars.

Source here

Baidu search result for “Mandarin collar suit”. This, is, literally, almost a replica Japanese uniform. The seller is also using the tag Zhongshan suit lmao (I’ve explained in my 1950s mainland post what a Zhongshan suit is not supposed to look like), delusion is not a fragrance I guess. Why is it so hard to let Japan be Japan and China be China??

Conclusion & afterthought

Another thing I need to mention is that standing collars are by no means unique to Chinese historical dress; they were also widely used in European historical fashion, long before standing collars became worn with uniforms of “Mandarins” or Chinese officials, which further proves my point that “Mandarin collar” is not a valid term. Also, standing collars in Europe have always been stiffened/structured, whereas Chinese collars only started to become stiffened around the 1890s, possibly due to European influence as well. For example, the 1950s collar with rounded edges and no collar seam binding reads as European Renaissance doublet very easily. To be fair though, a lot of the collar shapes seen in early 20th century Chinese womenswear had been done before in European Renaissance fashion and during that time period in China only the OG Ming Dynasty collar mentioned in part 1 was used sooooooo

Source here

1630-40 English doublet. The collar looks mighty similar to 1930s Chinese women’s ones. I know next to nothing about Renaissance fashion so I’m not sure how it’s constructed, but it proves the point that collars like these were not a uniquely Chinese phenomenon.

Source here

Meanwhile the Mandarins in China. He’s wearing a crossover collar robe underneath a round collar robe, no standing collar here.

Source here

1780s French men’s coat with a standing collar.

Standing collars were also commonly used in Victorian and Edwardian women’s everyday fashion without any connection to China whatsoever.

Source here

1860s fashion plate for a gown with a low standing shirt collar peeking underneath.

Source here

1887 fashion plate from the Journal des Demoiselles. Bustle gowns with standing collars.

Bonus rant

I have come to the actual point of this series of posts, to answer the question: should “Mandarin collar” be a thing? In which case I’m gonna have to go with no. In the three posts I made on the topic I categorized a total of 13 collar styles, each distinct from each other and some being inspired by Western clothing, and showed that the use of the term “Mandarin collar” nowadays is very vague and ambiguous. I don’t understand why people in the fashion industry give my ancestors all the credits for a design feature as basic and common as a standing collar... Maybe it’s a marketing gimmick like how Sternhalma (a German board game) is advertised in the US as “Chinese checkers”?? Or maybe it shows that a lot of fashion designers lack a basic understanding of historical fashion? Either way it makes no sense. I think the concept is also slightly offensive since it simply ignores the diversity of actual historical Chinese standing collar designs, kind of reinforcing the racist stereotype that non-white fashion histories are static and never changing.

If I do have to pick a most traditional/iconic style of Chinese standing collar, I would go with either the original Ming Dynasty soft collar with metal buttons or the 1940s short collar with collar seam binding used on aoku, cheongsam, changshan and magua. In the mainland Chinese countryside, the 1940s style collar was preserved and actually still made today, but in the post-Mao era it became increasingly seen by the mainland population as 土 (a derogatory term for Chinese folk stuff meaning tacky or cringy) compared to the exciting new Western fashions being imported at the time. As a result, more traditional items of clothing like aoku for women, changshan and magua for men were neglected in favor of more westernized cheongsam designs, leading to some cursed contraptions.

Maybe this is a hot take, I personally really don’t vibe with the concept of 土 because it’s very loaded and usually the gateway drug to massive internalized racism. I’ve heard so many people bash aoku and magua constructed in the historical method and put post-60s Western inspired cheongsam on a pedestal even though the former is grounded in history and the latter is an Orientalist mess. There is nothing wrong with making aoqun, aoku, magua, changshan, cheongsam or any other historical item of clothing in the historically accurate method, they’re charming in their own ways and don’t need to be “modified”. In my opinion, the puckering under the armpits caused by the lack of a shoulder seam and the rounded shoulders are what makes historical Chinese clothing beautiful to begin with :3 I think there’s something inherently modern and authentic in the pedantic, antiquarian pursuit of historical clothing, like you know how whenever a revival happens it actually brings something new to the table? It’s not problematic to wear modern cheongsam designs per se, it’s just important to keep in mind that it doesn’t have much to do with actual Chinese history and represents more of the status quo of Chinese fashion nowadays.

Ok I’m going off the collar track but it’s time to finish this post. Thank you for reading, and as I mentioned, the next post will be about Chinese pankou. I’m almost finished with that one as well and I’m really excited with what I have planned next :D

#historic fashion #chinese fashion #cheongsam #vintage fashion #chinese history #1950s #1960s #1970s

195 notes · View notes

wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA.

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave.

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?”

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable.

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed.

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend.

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially.

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid; when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be.

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that.

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks.

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras.

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man.

“You good?” His answer was predictable.

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands.

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other.

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end.

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything.

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away.

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph.

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt.

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his.

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing.

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs.

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else.

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #fluff

289 notes · View notes

dutchdread · 3 years

Note

In regard to what you said about how what Squall and Rinoa had wasn't necessarily true love because of them being teenagers, why is it that you even consider that Cloud and Tifa had true love when Cloud is technically a teenager too? Why do you say that you wouldn't like Aerith if she had survived and ended up with Cloud? You act as if Aerith ending up with Cloud is a bad thing. If Aerith survives things could've ended up happening differently for Cloud. He could've ended up happier with her.

To answer this question I think it's important to understand the difference between love and lust, I advise reading an earlier article I wrote about this:

"what is love, baby don't hurt me" There are a couple of things to address here. First, I am not sure I ever said that what Tifa and Cloud had at the end of FFVII was "true love". It's something that I think is up for debate, the fact that they haven't spent a lot of time together yet as actual adults makes me sympathetic to the idea that it's not really that far yet. Personally I find that they satisfy the conditions necessary for it to count as love, but you won't hear me pretend it's already at the same level as the love shared between my parents, who've been together for 40 years. Even in love there are degrees, love can always grow stronger, and I have no doubt that in case of Cloud and Tifa, it would. I am not pretending they start out as the ultimate pinnacle of perfect or true love. One of the most telling differences I think between people who support Cloti, and the people who support Clerith, is that the former are simply more in touch with reality. That having been said, like I mentioned earlier, I do think Tifa and Cloud satisfy the conditions of love that I describe in my article, I'll quickly go over why, but before I do, I think it's important to answer your first question first. "If being teenagers precludes Rinoa and Squall from having true love, why doesn't that same logic apply to Tifa and Cloud?" Well, the short answer is that being a teenager does NOT preclude you from loving someone, and I didn't say that it does. My argument is a bit more subtle than that. It's not that teenagers can't feel love, it's that it's very easy for teenagers to mistake infatuation with love. It's important here to distinguish between two different emotions, no one doubts of course that teenagers love, for instance, their parents, but we both understand that that's not exactly what is meant by love in the romantic sense. We also all know that we can be nervous around a boy or a girl that we barely know, and feel physically attracted to them. However, I think that everyone whose ever had more than one relationship in their life knows that that isn't love, it's merely attraction and a physiological response. It doesn't involve the same deep appreciation and closeness of a person that we associate with love. For me personally, the first girlfriend I ever had was someone I actually rather disliked before they suddenly confessed that they were attracted to me. When we were sitting on her couch a while later with her pressed against my arm my heart was beating out of my chest, I was more nervous than I ever had been before in my life and was borderline hyperventilating. But that had nothing to do with her, and all to do with me being a young boy who was about to make out with a cute girl. But that nervousness isn't love, I didn't love that girl, honestly, even while dating her I still didn't even like her that much as a person, and that "nervousness" quickly faded. My heart beating out of my chest...was not love, conversely, when I am with the person I actually do love, my heart is completely at peace. True romantic love I think lies at the intersection of those two emotions, where you long to be with someone physically, not because your heart is beating too fast, but because they're the physical representation of the complete and complex set of characteristics that make up that person. A state where you understand both yourself, and them, and understand that through everything you have become a part of each other. You would not be yourself if they're not there, because a part of you would be missing. The problem with teenagers in love isn't that they can't form the feelings of such a bond, but that they too often think that's what they're feeling when all it is is raging hormones. They think they can never live without each other but they'll have a new sweetheart 2 months later, because it's the nervousness, the beating chest, the excitement, and not the long deep appreciation of who the other person is and what they actually mean to you. They just feel new strong urges and emotions and ascribe meaning to them

when there barely is any. They lack the mutual understanding that sharing time together creates and which is necessary to understand who the other really is, and what that means. They lack the knowledge of the self needed to understand what is important in life and more importantly, what is, or should be, important to YOU and why. They lack the life experience needed to differentiate between love and infatuation, and they lack the wisdom needed make positive choices concerning which feelings to nurture, which often makes them subservient to their emotions rather than guiding them. Love takes time, it takes commitment, it takes understanding, it takes choices and the willingness to sacrifice, those are the things that bind two people together, through thick and thin, as they say. The good, and the bad. In a way, Cloud and Tifa perfectly represent that long slowly developing strength of mutual importance, while Aerith is more like a representation of the temporary hurricane of affection that we often ascribe with something new. This is the reason why Aerith was described by the developers as being like an exchange student who leaves midway through the schoolyear. This is the reason why Cloti is so often described as a "slow burn". The reason Cloud and Tifa are slightly exempt from the "teenagers in love" problem, although it does still factor in, is that their bond didn't start a week before the end of the game. Their bond started when they were kids. Tifa has been an integral part of Clouds life for his entire life, to the point where he decided to join SOLDIER, aka, the army, just in the hopes of getting Tifa to notice him. That is a decision, that is a commitment, that is Cloud tying Tifa into his sense of self ever since he was a boy, he didn't just sit around "wanting" her, he made a decision, to not just "desire her" or be "in love" with her, but an active decision to live his life with her as a central part of it. Those sorts of decisions and action form what you care about and value, what you deem as important, what you see as "you" and your life. Cloud had a type of love for Tifa long before he ever started developing any sexual urges. And Tifa doesn't just fit what he sees as important, he has made her important his entire life. In a way, he's molded himself over time so that the things he treasures, are the things she exhibits. More than that, the entire premise of Clouds character arc is rooted in him finding his true self. I mentioned earlier that a crucial part of love is knowing who you are, and what you treasure and why, and FFVII literally gives us a direct manifestation of Cloud finding himself in the lifestream.....and it's Tifa. There is no question here of whether Cloud knows who he is, what he treasures in a woman, and whether Tifa fits that mold, because Tifa made that mold. Concerning time, Cloud spent over a decade being in love with Tifa, she's not just a part of who he is, but she's such a part of who he is that when he lost her belief in him, he lost faith in himself and who he is. There is no question that these two characters lives are fundamentally emotionally intermingled. Cloud would not be Cloud without Tifa. And the same goes for Tifa, who has always held the image of Cloud close as a sort of representation of what is important. First like an unattainable star in the sky, then as a boy. Cloud is not just someone who has always been important to her, he's also her last link to her childhood, those things form bonds. Tifa is compassionate, and I've always been able to pinpoint the moment where in my opinion Tifa went from having a crush, to displaying true love, and its' the moment where she decides to spend that last days of her life caring for Cloud in a coma. That is not a small decision, and those decisions matter, they're not just telling the world something, they're telling YOURSELF something. When you make such a decision, you cement what is important to you. Through thick and thin. Tifa chose Cloud, she chose to believe in the memories they share together, not of the

memories of the last few weeks, but of the boy who asked her to the water tower all those years ago. Tifa, like Cloud, found herself during FFVII, Tifa knew what she cherished, it wasn't soldier Cloud, it was the Cloud she knew, the REAL Cloud, and her selflessness and conviction is rewarded.

I'd say that pretty much says it all, the groundwork is in place, the only thing needed after that is for a person to CHOOSE to go for it, to not give up, and that's what we get in the events before, during, and after ACC. That the two are willing to sacrifice and work on it, because they know that the other is worth it. And Tifa and Cloud have that as well. When Tifa is feeling down in case of Tifa, Cloud says he'll be there for her, when Cloud is having difficulties in ACC, Tifa never gives up on him. Ultimately Tifa is the glue of this relationship, because she has proven that she will never give up, and that's why her love is real, and why Cloud and Tifa ultimately will succeed as a couple. Cloud and Tifa have a difficult start to their relationship because of factors external to their feelings towards each other, but when you purely look at the basis of their relationship and feelings for each other, it's one of the strongest foundations in fiction. They have to weather a lot of storms together, but the reason the story can throw those storms at them, is that they have the foundation that allows them to handle it and grow stronger. "Why do you say that you wouldn't like Aerith if she had survived and ended up with Cloud?" I don't say that, I say that I don't like the Aerith version that exists in the minds of Clerith, and I don't. What I say specifically about Aerith surviving and ending up with Cloud is that I don't like that story, I think it would be a fundamentally bad story. I do say that I would not like Aerith if she knew the future, or anything really about the relationship between Tifa and Cloud, and still chose to try and get between that. Because setting aside all the shameless "Cloud/Tifa doesn't own Tifa/Cloud, they can do what they want" arguments, we all know that if your friend has someone they've cared about for a long time, and they're hitting in off, and you then try to get between that....you're scum, and I do not want you in my group of friends. I've known people like that, they're not kind. I also say that I wouldn't like that character, which is different from not liking Aerith as a person. A person can be sweet and likable and I can still not like their character if I think that the character is a hindrance to the story. "If Aerith survives things could've ended up happening differently for Cloud. He could've ended up happier with her." And if pigs had wings perhaps they could fly, or perhaps they couldn't. Perhaps had Aerith lived Cloud would have somehow married Scarlet, or perhaps if Aerith had lived Cloud would have been miserable and drank himself to death. I don't care about baseless speculation. Listen, I have no doubt that if Aerith had lived, Cloud would be happier, since it would be one less death on his consciousness, but he'd be happier WITH TIFA, Aerith living or dying has zero impact on who he ends up with and saying "maybe" is absolutely meaningless. Maybe if Aerith had lived, Tifa would have died, and the world would have ended because I don't need to be a fortune teller to predict that if Tifa died, Cloud wouldn't have come back from that. Honestly, saying "perhaps if Aerith had lived he'd be happier with her" is such a blatant attempt at trying to sneak shit past the radar that it honestly bugs me, you can take that implication back to the Clerith boards where dishonest takes live.

#Cloti #FFVII #ffvii remake #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #aerith gainsborough

45 notes · View notes

scrawnytreedemon · 3 years

Text

Neurodivergency, and Sephiroth

Right, I’m going to see if I can try and explain why this reading appeals to me.

For some background, I’ve watched a full silent LP of the OG, watched Advent Children, and am largely familiar with his characterisation in Crisis Core(though it gets a bit patchy in some areas). I am not familiar with his characterisation in KH, Dissida, or any other spinoff appearances.

I’m going to be looking at this with an autistic lens, as, hey, I’m autistic, however much of these patterns aren’t exclusive to autistic people by any means and thus are fairly applicable to other labels.

This is an explanaition on why I find this element worth considering, and while I hope that others can relate or take away something from this, in many ways it is highly personal and not intended to be a decleration on Sephiroth’s ‘true nature,’ as it were. I’m not claiming that this was intended by the writers-- Infact, I’d be very surprised if they considered it, at all --As many of the traits he exhibits could be brushed aside as due to his upbringing.

That being said, let’s get into it!

1. Alienation

A common thread in neurodivergency, autism in particular, is some form of alienation. This doesn’t necessarily mean being outcast-- I, for one, have been largely accepted by those around me, and yet there is still that sense of being ‘other‘ that’s always been there, long before I even had a word for it.

Now, of course, in Sephiroth this is more related to his lineage, and how it’s expressed in... well, everything. Even still, I find value in expanding that, and considering just how getting the sense you’re implicitly divided from your peers.

There is, of course, the matter of Sephiroth’s literal isolation-- However, as fun as those scenarios are to play around with, I don’t think Sephiroth was raised wholly, or even mostly in the labs. The reason being that it would be nigh impossible to have hid just what made Sephiroth different, especially knowing how observant he is. It’s clear that Sephiroth had had extensive contact with other children, as epitomised by the line:

“I knew ever since I was a child, I was not like the others. I knew mine was a special existence. But this is not what I meant!”

Sephiroth was painfully aware that he is different, even if he didn’t know exactly how. It is at once an oddly thrilling, and lonely sensation. Thrilling, because-- Hey! --You can do and see things others can’t and/or wouldn’t; and lonely, because it makes it hard to relate to others or have them relate to you.

2. Socialisation

I would like to start off by saying that, while I find it a tad more faithful and endlessly less grating than Sex God Sephiroth, Sephiroth is not a complete and utter social failure. While it’s clear he has difficulty articulating emotions and understanding others, it’s very clear even still that he knows how the game works, and knows how to play it.

This is going to dip far more into speculation territory, so buckle up.

A thing that, perhaps, I don’t see talked about often enough online when it comes to neurodivergent experiences, is that many things that are considered ‘normal‘ get experienced as systems that we need to actively learn and maneuver-- Socialisation especially!

Now, of course there is always some degree of social interaction being a give and take, a step forth and step back, regardless of neurotype, but it’s dialed up far more when you deviate from ‘the norm.‘

If I can give my own example, a thing I struggled with when I was little was humour! Not because I didn’t find things funny, or didn’t know what it was, but because I had issues grasping at the machinations of what made something funny. This lead to alot of nonsensical jokes that left my siblings confounded, until I picked up a joke-book, and started analysing from there. It was mostly alot of puns, which! Due to their simple structure, are a great way to learn the basics! I didn’t even know this was unusual, until my mother pointed it out to me years later.

And that method goes for alot of things.

Sephiroth, above all else, is observant. He makes efforts multiple times throughout the OG and Crisis Core to check up on others and ask how they’re doing. He asks Cloud how he feels returning to his hometown, and about seeing his mother, and urges Zack to check up on Aerith in Crisis Core, to name some notable examples. Even if you get the sense that his attempts are, perhaps, a little ungainly, it makes it clear more than anything that Sephiroth tries.

I think the reason that people have leaned alot more into the overly-awkward perception of Sephiroth in recent times, is because it humanises him. I feel there’s been far more of a shift within fandom to focus on the mundane, on relatability, on humanity. A veneer of endless, effortless confidence really isn’t that sexy anymore-- When sexual-appeal even comes into the matter, at all.

That being said, this section more than anything, I think, is very easy to brush aside due to his... interesting upbringing. Depending on how you construe the timeline, Sephiroth got sent to war as early as twelve, and wouldn’t have had much of an oppurtnity to develop these skills in a healthy and timely manner.

Even without that, a degree of social awkwardness is far from exclusive to any particular neurotype-- It’s the way it arises in him, though, that piques my interest.

3. Analysis and Obsession

This... I think, is the one where I’ll be grasping at straws the most.

While, yes, the obsessive research demonstrated in the OG during the Nibelheim incident and even before that to a lesser extent in Crisis Core could be some indication of a degree to absolutely immerse yourself in a subject in that Very Autistic WayTM, more than anything these are brought on by dire circumstance(the former especially by the question of his very humanity), and as we don’t see Sephiroth as a child, it’s uncertain as to whether he displayed these behaviours as such and to this degree under ‘normal‘ circumstances.

Even so, I get the feeling that Sephiroth is very analytically-minded, in a very Stranger In A Strange World sort of way(not in any way referring to the 1961 novel by a similar name, lmao). I get the feeling he’s the type of person to pick up some highly-esoteric text just for fun and come away with a menagerie of strange and unusual and obscenely specific factoids that he’ll remember for the rest of his life.

Like, someone might mention a topic offhandedly, and though he’d keep his mouth shut because He’s Like ThatTM, a slew of all the little bits and pieces he’s seen or read on the matter over the years would just jump to mind.

What I’m trying to say is, I think Sephiroth would take joy in painstakingly pouring and mulling over topics that not many people would have the consideration nor the mind to hold any long-term, inimate interest in.

If the last point was easily brushed aside, then this one you’d merely have to breathe and it’d fall apart. Nonetheless, I feel that within fandom’s current common framework with how we perceive Sephiroth, this wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

I, however, want to make it clear that I can see the issue with labelling Sephiroth as neurodivergent. He could all too easily fall into the cliché of cold, emotionally and socially-inept, often rather callous depictions we see all too often in the heavily-neurotypical media that sees us as Missing Something; less than. Things have gotten better, but even still, there’s such a tendency to flatten us down to the things we can’t do, or lawd as us Potential Einsteins in spite of it-- Which, just, while it happens, on the whole it isn’t very helpful or realistic to expect this from us.

We are by no means a monolith, and while I take comfort in the idea of a neurodivergent Sephiroth, I understand that for some, it can feel like taking on a label to a character that vaguely fits the stereotype, and thus, perhaps, insinuating that to be autistic you have to look Like That-- And when it comes to villains in particular, it’s all too easy to dip into demonisation.

This isn’t even getting onto some of the issues that’d have this fall apart, were we to look at other symptoms. The first that comes to mind, and one that even I, as innocuous as I am, experience: sensory overload.

While it is entirely possible that Sephiroth learned to deal with it accordingly in life, or was forced to surpress it, because Shinra’s Science Department(cough cough Hojo) has been shown time and time again to force its subjects into little boxes and blame them for any failures expressed, the fact is that such a symptom could make fighting on the battlefield downright impossible.

Again, this is something that could’ve been given a ‘solution‘(as much as you can or even should think about long-term surpressing your basic thresholds), it nonetheless remains an issue.

I just hope that, on the whole, this served as some food for thought.

TL;DR: Sephiroth is autistic because I Vibe With It.

Also, happy Disability Pride!

#ffvii #sephiroth #character analysis #theory #scrawny speaks #ff7 #autism #neurodivergency #scrawny draws

61 notes · View notes

fellowstrangetownappreciator · 3 years

Text

Curious and autistic-coded

Hello there! April draws to an end and with that I think it’s high time to hurry up and write this. What does April have to do with anything, you ask? April is the Autism Acceptance Month. So what better month to do this?

Unfortunately I didn’t make it. I failed. It’s already 1. 5. when I’m posting this. But at least I tried to deliver on time.

In this mini essay I’ll present my case about why I think the Curious brothers from TS2 Strangetown display autistic-coded traits and my personal takes on it.

It’s basically your average headcanon post but with a funny top hat!

0: Preface: What do I mean by “autistic-coded”?

When a character is coded as something, it means that they have traits that are associated with the demographics in question to make the consumer knowingly or not link the character with the demographic, although the character's "label” is never explicitly disclosed.

In the nutshell, it means that there are canonical reasons to read the characters as autistic, although you won't find the word "autism" anywhere in the game nor in the developer's commentary.

In this particular case I do believe that the developer may not even be aware of the code, as there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If there is, I’m not aware of it and I would be happy to learn.

So, let’s start!

1: “The white male who is very good at science”

Unfortunately autistic representation in pop-culture has a long history of being rather straightforward in which traits the characters often have. This stems from the belief that autism is “a boy’s disorder” (that’s why some autism charities to this day use blue in their symbols). Among popular examples of autistic-coded characters are Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper and Death Note’s L and Near. I’m sure you can think of more but you’ll find that most of them are men and either explicitly white or racially ambiguous white-passing. They also tend to be gifted in tech, logic or other science-y activities.

There’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being an autistic with those “stereotypical” characteristics and there is nothing wrong with people being represented. What is wrong is the monotony and afab people/people of color being underrepresented which leads (among other factors) to harder access to diagnosis and resources for those people in real life. But! That’s a topic for a different day. (and not for a simbrl, mind you)

Back to the Curiouses! I just wanted to say that autism in media is traditionally associated with characters whose gender presentation, race and interests align with theirs. Those characteristic thus make a very convenient template for autistic-coding.

2: Inconsistent performance, huge gaps between strengths and weaknesses

Pascal, Vidcund and Lazlo are very skilled Sims by default, extraordinarily even for their age. Pascal has a skill maxed while his younger brothers both near maxing theirs.

But as you can see in Pascal’s default skill panel, apart from Creativity, all his other skills are extremely low, 0 points for Mechanical, Body and Charisma, 1 point for Cooking and Logic and his second best skill, Cleaning, has only 3 points. The same situation can be observed in Vidcund’s and Lazlo’s, except their strong suits are Logic and Cooking respectively.

Huge discrepancies within performance in different cognitive areas is a common trait found in those on the autism spectrum. We’re often talking extremes here and the scale of the difference is the defining factor. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s just in neurodivergent people those tend to be unusually noticeable.

I think that skills, simplified as they are, are the closest The Sims has to possibly simulate that because they track the character’s performance and expertise in different areas and allow comparison. In real life, of course, this comparison is not nearly as possible and exact, nor desired, but for all our analysis-loving enthusiasm, here we’re still talking fictional characters.

3: Struggle with social cues

It is widely known that one of autistic traits are difficulties with processing social situations, picking social cues and successfully replicating socially desired behavioral patterns.

But these three are Sims, are they not? They cannot possibly display this trait, since they’re programmed the same way as others.

Yes and no.

It is true that there is no specific in-game feature that would allow Sims to behave with explicit neurodivergency in mind* but with the right combination of traits they can simulate behavior that really hits close to home for neurodivergent players.

*at least not in TS2, TS3 has traits that simulate some possible neurodivergencies but their names tend to be rather... ableist unfortunate and they’re not relevant to this post since they’re not autism related, and even if they were, we’re focusing on TS2 exclusively

Let’s take look at Lazlo here. He is, indeed, a playful soul. He likes to goof around, tell jokes, make others laugh. And since he’s very close to his brother Vidcund, close enough even to Tell Dirty Joke (an interaction that needs quite a high relationship to unlock), he autonomously does just that.

And oh boy, does Vidcund disapprove.

From my personal experience playing them, their relationship usually takes quite a hit from every cheeky joke Lazlo throws Vid’s way. They usually autonomously repair it very quick but it happens often.

But that’s a standard behavior. Vidcund’s very serious, he doesn’t take well to jokes.

No. I mean technically yes, Vid is definitely a grumpy old plant dad but, at least in my game, he tends to accept Lazlo’s jokes. All kinds of them, actually, except for the dirty ones. And Pascal, who technically has even lower Playful points (0 in comparison to Vidcund’s 4), doesn’t seem to mind Lazlo’s poor attempts at grown-up humor.

But! What is it that makes Lazlo try still? What drives him to attempt to make Vidcund laugh with a dirty joke over and over again? (and fail?)

I my interpretation, Lazlo doesn’t do that on purpose, he is just really poor at evaluating “dirtiness” of a given joke and frequently misinterprets Vidcund’s cues. The animation of a dirty joke being rejected even supports that as Vid doesn’t signal his discomfort with any exaggerated easy-to-read facial expression until Lazlo gets to his punchline.

No only that but as I mentioned, the invisible lines between spicy and too vulgar are often hard to thread. I can recall many times I thought I was saying a witty quip on an “adult” topic and was met with awkward silence or someone shushing me because “that’s not how you speak in public”. I can well imagine myself in Lazlo’s shoes.

A situation of social cues being misinterpreted or ignored can be observed also in Vidcund. Programming-wise, those are just his low Niceness and extreme Shyness showing but combined they again paint a picture of a very neurodivergent-looking behavioral pattern.

He often behaves like the concept of politeness or social rules doesn’t exist because the combination of the aforementioned traits makes him come off very blunt (lecturing and shoving telescope-peepers with no warning whatsoever) and distant (having a high chance of rejecting simple small-talk socials).

(That’s Jasmine Rai casting the “Summon Vidcund” spell.)

Yes, I am fully aware that it makes a stronger case for him being an a**hole than autistic but... there’s no reason he can’t be both. Not all autistic people are sweet cinnamon buns, all personalities you can think of can be neurodiverse and, for some their neurodiversity can even amplify their inconsiderate ways, as I believe it is the case with our dear grouch Vidcund.

4. Their bios

“No matter what happens, Pascal believes there is a logical explanation for everything. In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis and collects conspiracy theories.”

(that’s how I imagine practicing psychoanalysis looks like, sorry Freud)

“Serious and exact, Vidcund strives to fit the universe into a nice tidy package. He has an unnatural fondness for African violets.”

(let’s collectively pretend those are African violets)

“Not as studious as his older brothers, Lazlo got his degree in Phrenology. He likes to call phone psychics and spends hours trying to bend forks with his mind.”

*error: screenshot of Lazlo bending forks not found*

(but here he is hanging out with Erin Beaker, the closest thing to “calling phone psychics” you can actually do in-game)

Both Pascal’s and Vidcund’s bios point to a pattern-focused worldview with a strong emphasis on rationality as the center-point that anchors the way they understand the world around them and build their principles on. This “pattern-ization” of thinking is a common autistic trait, with rationality being a popular theme because emotions tend to be difficult to access and asses for many of us.

Lazlo’s biography is an outlier. But it still has something significant in common with those of his brothers: All three of their bios allude to a potential special interest of sorts.

Special interests as an autism-related term are very specific, in-depth and long-term hobbies or areas of expertise that make an autistic person happy and they tend to go to seemingly exhausting lengths, often at the cost of other areas of knowledge and most likely the person’s ability to talk about anything else for a long enough time. (a loving hyperbole, no disrespect meant) Mine are my characters and cats. An even more intense but a short(er)-term passion is called a hyperfixation.

Them potentially having a special interest is yet another possible autistic-coded feature.

5. Wait. Why does it matter?

Right. What does it matter if a Sim (A SIM) (or two or three) is autistic? What do I hope to achieve, pushing my autistic Curiouses agenda down your throats?

I got to write a long rant-piece about some of my favorite TS characters and I feel like I can finally die satisfied.

Apart from that and me sharing my happiness of finding some good pixels I can relate to, it is a matter of representation.

Remember by the very beginning I wrote how most of the representation our community gets in media tends to be just a one specific type of character?

And how the Curious brothers seem to fit the stereotype to a point?

There is something I omitted, something I saved for the last on purpose.

The role. The role in their story, the role in the society the piece of media portrays.

We often see neurodiverse, autistic or autistic-coded character as children, students, villains, lone savants, victims in distress, comedic relief sidekicks, either very vulnerable and needing protection, or detached and having their role defined only by their academic prowess or their special interest/profession.

What we rarely get to see them as, are... parents.

That’s what many of us autistics are or plan to be someday in the future. The dogma around autism has started to dwindle relatively recently and there are little to no examples of autistic adults being the care-givers for once in the media around us.

The Curious brothers are just that. They are chaotic, they are eccentric, they can be a little too much... but they are dutiful and loving fathers/uncles to their little aliens they raise.

They make it work. Even if they face difficulties, even if they don’t exactly fit the standard.

“Sometimes, a family truly can be three brothers raising alien babies, and it’s beautiful.”

It encourages us to define family by love rather than traditional structures and it shows us that portrait of a functional neurodiverse family we need to see.

And goodness, is it a powerful sight.

#the sims 2 #the sims #ts2 #simbrl #pascal curious #vidcund curious #lazlo curious #autism acceptence month #headcanon #actuallyautistic #autistic curiouses agenda #please someone take tumbrl from me

138 notes · View notes