#yes we're both cisgender
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Respectfully: yes, of course being sex-positive is incredibly important, but you know what's equally important? Being sex-positive without being fucking aphobic. It's not a herculean task at all; I see aspec and allo people alike who are absolutely able to do both successfully. But it does require a bare minimum amount of critical thinking.
You can defend kink at pride without saying or implying that sex is what makes us human, or that sex is a requisite for the "true" queer experience. You can talk about the indescribable value of gay bars without accusing anyone who isn't interested in them of being either a prude, creepy and antisocial, or a "boring virgin." You can stop arguing that any given queer person or group of queer people you dislike (perhaps even within reason) would be more progressive and less reactionary if they had more sex (and yes, this is a real take I've had to see on this website).
You can, and urgently, should stop pretending that sex negativity as a cultural force is caused by ace people — instead of you know, caused by cultural conservativism and cultural Christianity. And on the flip side, you can stop with that thing where you act sex-positive until you see an aroallo person wanting to have sex without a romantic (closed, nuclear) relationship — and suddenly, throwing all sex positivity out the window as you decide that they're a freak and a manipulator and evil incarnate. (Yes, you need to be kinder to even the cisgender heterosexual aromantic men. That particular discourse encapsulates the feedback loop between arophobia and radfem-lite beliefs, by the way, which is another thing the queer community here is horrible at avoiding in its rhetoric.)
So: sex positivity includes aro-spec allosexuals, who need it for precisely the above reason — because alloromantics demonize them otherwise. And sex positivity includes ace-specs who need it just to talk about their experiences, without getting called inappropriate for merely acknowledging sex out loud, let alone their own relationship with sexual desire.
(Have you already forgotten one of the biggest aphobe talking points in 2016? That aces acknowledging their identity in any capacity were "oversharing," and making people "uncomfortable" — and god forbid you ever mentioned asexuality to a minor?)
At its core, sex positivity includes accepting people can have morally neutral relationships with sex that you wouldn't personally want — and maybe even ones that might make you uncomfortable. And so much of this website seems perfectly able to understand this — or at least, preach this — until the second an ace or aro person shows up.
You're not allowed to exclude us from this movement. You're not allowed to twist this movement's intent to put us down. Kill this new wave aphobia in 2023 or so help me. We're not letting this community do this again.
#aphobia#acephobia#arophobia#if this happens to get serious notes i'll turn reblogs off after a day or so#just want to make that clear that i stand by everything i say here - i just might have to take measures for my own sanity#this blog will return to normally scheduled programming soon#but this 2020s aphobia is legitimately reaching a breaking point. and i couldn't hold myself back from this post any longer
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I saw a non-binary person on twitter applauding another tweet about how a lot of cis people really just sometimes label trans masc and afab nonbinary people as femme-presenting and then get angry at those people for not presenting "properly" when they ask not to be misgendered (to be crystal clear, this is something I do see happen, and also applaud this person for saying), but the way they applauded it was amazingly frustrating.
Without including a screencap or the exact wording because I don't want anyone hunting this down and harassing them, their response was, to paraphrase:
"femme presenting does not equal everyone impacted by misogyny."
Now, I didn't respond there because twitter is hell on digital Earth and I don't want my mentions filled with garbage for the next week for weighing in, but I'm comfortable expanding on why this statement is bullshit here. There's a whole other conversation to be had about how a lot of afab trans masc and non-binary people are complicit in silencing our own by pushing this sort of statement, but people more articulate than I am have said plenty on that and I'll leave it to them.
No, what I take issue with is the idea that there is a single person on this goddamn planet who isn't impacted by misogyny. Let's break it down, nice and easy.
MISOGYNY AFFECTS:
1) Cisgender women and girls. Takes the form of cat calling, infantilization, systemic discrimination in the workplace and a disparity of social and economic advantages afforded to cisgender men, high rates of violence against them, high rates of medical neglect, social conditioning that pushes them out of STEM career and education paths either because it's been drilled into them that these are not jobs for women OR because they made a go of it and felt unsafe, underutilized, passed over for promotion in favour of less qualified male peers, and so on.
2) transgender and amab non-binary people. Trans women who pass (note, I do not think passing is important or required to be respected in our identities, so if you're reading this and transmed, fuck all the way off) are treated of all of the above, unless they are openly trans or outed to peers who thought they were cis, in which case this treatment is conditional.
Being outed or not passing doesn't make the above go away, but it adds in shitty bonus features like the possibility of being confronted/attacked/harmed/killed publicly just for existing as trans in public, denial of housing, chronic unemployment (especially in states where you can be fired at will with no reason given as to why), loss of insurance and high rates of homelessness. On top of that, non-binary people often intentionally do not pass, or incidentally are mistaken for male or female. They are misgendered in almost all situations abs are subject to all of the above.
3) transgender men and afab non-binary people. This one is apparently a really controversial take to have these days, but as a trans man who passes and transitioned later in life, passing means jack shit if and when people know that I am trans. If people don't know I'm trans, their acceptance of me is tenuous at best and entirely conditional.
This is a problem for me personally because I a) refuse to pack the first 30 years of my existence in a box and lie about it to impress strangers. All of those formative experiences that are supposed to really affirm womanhood? Tried 'em. Yes, ALL of them. Even the one that transmasc transmeds will swear up and down that if you do them, you are not really trans. You know the one (it's pregnancy if that's not clear!).
I will not pack that away for the comfort of others. I am who I am because of those experiences, not in spite of them. But even if I did choose to pack all that away and keep it secret for the sake of seeming cis to new people, I still have a big 'ol target on my back because I am married to a cis dude. We're both bisexual, but that nuance means nothing to cis dudes for whom the existence of gay people where they can see them is emasculating by proximity. And how do cis dudes treat people, including other cis dudes, who aren't performing masculinity properly? With misogyny.
Cis dudes will treat gay and bi men, efeminate men, men with voices, mannerisms and style outside of a specific masculine archetype, like women. More specifically, women who deserve to be punished for being "that way." That misogyny isn't misdirected, a term I frequently see people throwing around to push back against the idea that afab trans men and non-binary people who have gone on testosterone or gotten top surgery or both are affected by misogyny specifically. It is directed exactly where it is meant to be directed, for all the reasons above and more.
On top of all that, the second someone (including doctors!) knows I'm trans, if they're not chill about it I can expect them to immediately start treating me like a delusional woman who has been tricked into transitioning and couldn't possibly have the agency required to make the decisions I have about my own body. Which is, again, textbook misogyny.
Anyhow, all of these things? If I were to go stealth to avoid them, it wouldn't be a privilege because, again, these things are conditional on remaining steal and honestly I didn't step out of one closet to baracade myself into another. If you have to hide your past and who you really are 24/7, that is not a privilege. The meager bonuses of having strangers think you're cishet are nothing compared to the detriment that living a double life, always in terror that someone will find out and tell everyone, causes. Trans men have worse outcomes with mental health than anyone, currently, and this is part of why.
4) Cisgender men who are visible minorities. Cisgender men with disabilities, who aren't white, who are fat or neuroatypical, or are gay or bi? Being treated "like a man" has conditions that they are either already outside of because of immutable characteristics OR is conditional based on whether they force themselves to conform and tow the line by reinforcing the "conditions" of previously mentioned masculine archetypes.
and finally
5) Able-bodied, neurotypical, cisgender heterosexual white men. Yeah, you heard that correctly!
Cishet white dudes are absolutely affected by misogyny. Let us count the ways:
Cis men are taught from a young age that being "like a girl" or even just being a girl is undesirable, worthy of disgust and/or punishment. How many childhood taunts meant to embarrass, emasculate and keep male peers in line are along the lines of comparing boys to women or denying/revoking their masculinity?
You throw like a girl. You hit like a girl. You look like a girl. Boys don't cry. What are you, gay? You'd better not be gay. You're not a f****t, are you? No son of mine is gonna play with dolls. Why are you crying? Time to hand in your man card. Don't get your vagina in a twist. Why are you mad? You on your period? And on and on and on...
The blatant contempt for women in a lot of formative social interactions for boys between them and their peers and them and their male relatives genuinely makes cis men worse people unless they have the will and fortitude to unpack and unlearn all of this. And boy howdy do we make it hard for them to do that.
I have met grown men so emotionally constipated that they can only talk about their feelings to their significant others, who come to resent them because your significant other is not a substitute for therapy. We tell young boys to bottle their emotions up, and we reinforce this with mocking laughter and ostracization. Sometimes with physical violence. Their friendships with other adult men are superficial and lacking affection, and fall apart if they ever challenge any of this shit. Every word that leaves their mouths in social situations is macho bravado and desperate conformation because you need to be in the In Group. You don't want to be in the Out Group, do you?
So until they figure out (if they ever do figure out) that they have shit they need to unpack and unlearn, they let their own inner turmoil fester, and they take it out on women, men and other people who fail to hit the baseline for what a man is "supposed" to be. They make the people around them suffer, and they lash out. They will enforce masculinity on their male peers and treat the women in their life with patronization and contempt and maybe even violence, because who else are you going to aim at when every formative and ongoing bit of socialization you've experienced from the time you realized that there was a difference between boys and girls and how they are supposed to act, and the resounding message has been that girls and women = bad, and that being compared to either means you're failing at proper masculinity?
Yeah, cis men do a lot of harm to people who aren't cis men. They will also do a lot of harm to people who ARE cis men but aren't "doing it right," including their own sons, and the cycle perpetuates until someone decides to break it, usually at a pretty significant cost.
So yeah, cis men are absolutely affected by misogyny. They aim it at the expected groups, but also at each other as a form of controlling group dynamics and social hierarchy.
TL;DR- literally fucking everyone is affected by misogyny and has it levied at them to enforce conformity in one way or another, so could we please fucking stop attempting to classify different flavours of trans people as being affected by or exempt from misogyny? It isn't misdirected if the person hurling it at you means for it to affect you, harm you, control you and your expression or all of the above.
This is why, when we classify something as a hate crime or not on a legal level, the identity of the person who it was committed against is not relevant. Assaulting a straight cis man because you thought he was a cis gay man doesn't absolve the perpetrator of having committed a hate crime. If the intention was to commit a crime on the basis of gender identity or sexuality, the legal system agrees that this is a hate crime, even if the perpetrator was mistaken!
TME/TMA is not a functional way of discussing the different ways that misogyny affects all of us, and I would love for young afab trans people to please stop throwing us all under the bus by trying to insist that the misogyny levied at afab trans people somehow doesn't count. You're hurting the rest of us, but you're also hurting yourself and you should knock it the fuck off. It does not invalidate your masculinity to acknowledge that cis people, both men and women, are levying misogyny at us, because they levy it at other cis people (mostly cis people who are minorities in other ways) all the fucking time.
#transgender#transandrophobia#anti-transmasc#transmasc#I am begging you to aim all the effort you put in to making us smaller at calling out cis people/other transmascs who perpetuate this shit
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3x3 of Characters I Headcanon as Cis Men
(And a few quick justifications as to why.)
(An exercise in reframing transness as a default identity.)
Joker: I should be clear, Joker is a teenager so I'm not pushing this identity onto such a young person. However, his being an outsider and trying his best to keep his head down to avoid ruffling feathers feels a lot like when I was experimenting with cisgenderism around his age, except he seems to gain a lot of confidence . Maybe he's also just experimenting, but I feel like for now we should respect the identity that he's trying to present.
Light Yagami: Some might say that only a trans woman would be smart enough to get as far as Light did, but only a cis man would want to do something as insane as murdering every criminal, and have such a god complex to think he deserves that power.
Fortnight Zavala: This might be my most controversial pick. Yes we all know the actual Commander Zavala is a normal man, but Fortnight is such a wacky and wild crossover universe that it only makes sense they'd make a weird change like making him cisgendered for no reason.
Kiryu Kazuma: Most boys have at least a few woman role models growing up, but Kiryu seems to have only ever had Kazama, a man, as his lifelong role model. 'm only on Yakuza 3 so I guess this is more like a prediction than a headcanon for now, but given the story of the series I doubt there's gonna be a "Kazuma Kiryu comes out as cis" moment. It would be very weird if they made a reveal like that instead of just leaving it as subtext.
Hatsune Miku: Self explanatory.
Emperor Palpatine: Only a cisgendered man could be that evil. Come on.
Mumen Rider: Idk he just kinda has cboy swag.
Joker: This one is practically text, but it's not actually revealed so we're left to speculate anyway. The plot of Joker, if you read into it just a little, really feels like a cisgender coming out story and it's a powerful look into what that experience of questioning your whole reality might be like.
Roxas: This is actually less about Roxas and more about Sora. Sora is very well written as a hero's journey protagonist and part of that entails walking the line of being an everyman and being a defined character. Roxas, on the other hand, is very distinctly not that. He is both an outsider and someone who at first is defined solely in relation to someone else. I can't speak to the experiences of cisgenders, but I feel like there's really something that Roxas has in common with them, based on the experiences my cis friends have described to me about how they figured themselves out.
#cisgenderism#headcanon#persona 5#death note#destiny 2#yakuza#hatsune miku#star wars#one punch man#the joker#kingdom hearts
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Fantasy Vs Sexuality Labels
"They don't even have words for it because it is so common and normal that people simply exist." This sentiment is a frequent trope of fictional worlds in reference to queer people's existence. Today, I would like to challenge the idea that people wouldn't have labels even in a "Perfect Non Binary Bisexual Utopia" and unpack everything involved in these conversations.
What Is Homophobia/Transphobia
I know this sounds obvious but I want to explain it beyond like, the obvious part of it. We're skipping past the bigots with guns stuff because that is not all that this kind of bigotry is. If we live in a society that expects you to reproduce that in itself is a form of homophobia. Yes with a trans partner you can have a same gender bio baby but that is if their treatments don't stop them from having babies and also it be a transphobic ask of trans people to be the reporductive labor force for all cis gays.
If society still assigns people genders and has gendered expectations then we also have a form of transphobia even if you remove gendered expectation what are the barriers to transition social and physical and do you need to transition to be seen as valid? Do queer couples exist as a prominent feature of the world not a rare side show? Do women still have some degree of expected submission and do men have some kind of expected dominance?
Homophobia and Transphobia are baked into the way we think about things in the world. People assign kids gender, gender clothing, accessories, manners of setting, etc, etc. And these genderings are tied to the idea of a future partner. Even subverting these genderings often makes one assume something about their sexuality and not just their taste. Subverting heterosexuality or cisgender status is rarely unchallenged even when it's not a violent bigot.
Transphobia and Homophobia are parts of the system, parts that assume all men want to leer over women, that all women want a strong man, that all men should aspire to one of a few roles and the same to women, that non binary people simply do not exist or are some light version of one of the two binary options. It isn't just like yelling the F slur or doing a terrible thing to a queer person.
Let's say we have a princess, there is no bigotry in the world but she is a lesbian, the waring kingdom only has one child a son and to end the war a political marriage is arranged. That is still homophobia even if otherwise the parents would have totally respected the sexuality of the princess. That's just one small sample but we're gonna go into the systems of power and why queerness doesn't even really work like this example, right now, below the keep reading thing.
Why Does Homophobia and Transphobia Exist
Transphobia and homophobia are systems of control. The people with power must create roles for people and they must maintain that power. The creation of strict binary gender and heterosexuality as a standard were both systems of control of people.
Gender denoted an ownership class and the owned class. He Yin Zhen has proposed the creation of ownership of women came from war where men would take women as prizes and with the women at home simply accepting it eventually it bleed to effect them when women began prizes to be won in war rather then part of the society. This bleed into many societies, mutated, changed and we gained the patriarchy as it stands now. The fascists advocating against queer people are almost always looking for a time where "women were women and men were men" aka men were the owners and women were the owned class.
A system of hiarchay needs strange ways to justify itself. For the rich to keep getting smaller and smaller they need systems that explain their wealth and they also need people to serve them. This need for people to serve them leads to anti queer politics, they want a reproductive class even other men must be part of this class who are poor to create servants for the rich.
Transness acts in defiance of all these structures by inherently challenging the gendered power of control. If someone is cast a role and can change it then it becomes a lot harder to justify oppression based on their gender. Property can't decide things for itself and therefore trans men aren't exist to them and to chose to become a property class removes the fake superiority they created.
What Does It Say To Have A World Without Bigotry But Still Has Oppression
So given all of the above, when we make a world without bigotry we are talking about a Utopia. We'll talk more about Utopia's in a bit but right now let's focus on the reality that most these stories that describe themselves as being a world without labels are worlds with strict hierarchy, class based oppression, etc, etc.
When these things happen we start to create myths about how the systems of power can be better. It presents a reformist view inherently and ignores the way these governments use their heels to oppress it's people. It also removes the fact we have interconnected struggles, that oppression against one of us is oppression against all of us. It also ignores that fact that even if the only oppression is class in the world that in the real world the poorest people are typically queer folks of color. We start to whitewash oppression by pretending a black trans lesbian being the oppressor of poor white people is something progressive or something.
Instead it's just conservative propaganda, it's the meritocracy, that no matter who we are we can be anything and is it possible for someone to make it to role of chief oppressor in theory, sure but in practice it is highly rare.
This is only made worse when queerness or queer coding is actively assigned to like terrible fascist governments pretending that a government who killed people for X trait like magic would be cool with gay people. It starts to paint the picture of the evil queer elite pulling the strings, the full fascist make believe fantasy.
Utopian Call For Labels
Now let's say your writing a chill story set in an actual utopia, capitalism has been destroyed, reparations have been made, we've removed the systems of oppression and we live in this lovely world. Then we would still have the history, the labels people have used and the words people have used. What kind of people do you like dating and then everyone has no preference simply would not happen. People will have taste and it is easier to use a general term, maybe one that is historically used to describe the taste you have in romance.
If we lived in a world that never had bigotry, never had bad things happening, people have still used labels. If we look at indigenous cultures across the world many which hard multiple genders had explicitly used labels for those genders, why if people wouldn't naturally label themselves? There is a use for being able to say "i am a person who needs this kind of medical care so my body can look the way I want it to look", there is a use to be able to say "I don't date men", or whatever else without having to say that every time.
Labels are a very useful thing we have as humans. We can say fun very specific things and much broader general things. It is nice to be able to say I am A Fire Emblem fan but also more so an Edelgard fan and that says something about me and to a similar extent saying I am a lesbian but more particularly a trans asexual lesbian is a nice way at a glace of painting a picture for someone even if my experience will not be the same as others.
Labels also allow us to find community with one another. Outside of having to explain to people things, the very idea of having a name for a group allows that group to find one another then share with each other. It is nice to be able to go to a lesbian event and meet other lesbians. It's nice to go to a trans event and be able to talk to other trans people. Even in a utopian world without the words it would be hard to share like innovation in HRT with each other if we didn't know who to communicate that with.
Conclusion
This isn't saying that I want stories to focus around homophobia, I don't, I actually much prefer happy queer stories then sad ones. What I am saying is that we don't need our worlds to be unrealistic to be happy and we don't need to strip ourselves of our labels to be progressive. There is no reason for people not to say they are a Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Queer, etc, etc, etc in fiction or some made up word or some word from some other language that means a similar thing.
Regardless of the tone of our story we can realize that we live in the real world where people live with their actual sexualities and being represented matters to them so having a bisexual character say they are bisexual and a lesbian character say they are a lesbian matters. Trans people saying they are trans matters. We can do representation that is explicit, clear and focused. Doing that also makes it easier to tell the messier queer stories of people who aren't sure of their sexuality, that's sexuality and gender shifts, that don't line up perfectly with their labels. When we start to define things we can actually talk about them and be critical of them and engage with them in real ways.
I don't think treating our words like a dirty little secret is what we should be striving for as a utopian ideal, I want a world where people are happily openly lesbians, gay, bi, trans, asexual, bigender, non binary, etc.
Not to mention very often this kind of "we don't use labels" really exists to just say queer subtext is canon to people who are queer and just playful for straight audiences. It is a way to avoid defining a queer politics or angering people. It is not real representation most often it is not done in good faith but for a company to play it safe.
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Hi! I'm a gay trans man; no matter how much you say you're not transphobic, you are. "Females who identify as nonbinary should just call themselves tomboys and live as women~" Guess what, I called myself a tomboy from 5-15 years old and used "I'm a tomboy" to contradict anyone calling me a girl because I was never a girl but had no words to say it. I am disgusted with your assertions that someone can be a lesbian (woman attracted to only women) while attracted to trans men. WE'RE MEN. OUR BODIES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. Same goes for anyone who isn't cisgender. I would fucking vomit if a lesbian came onto me knowing I was a trans man, because that would be her saying "I disrespect your very being as a human person and only see you for your genitals as a sexual object." You don't see how fucked up that is? That's what some cishet men do all the time to anyone they think is a cis women, do you think that's fucked up?
Not quite sure why you're sending this here now but since you're trying me I will answer. You're attributing quotes to me that I quite simply never expressed, you lack nuance.
Buddy, we don't give a fuck that you're homophobic and think it's "disgusting" that lesbians can be attracted to trans men. We are homosexual. No matter how weird you think it is. This has nothing to do with gender, behaviour, style. A trans man who is not medically transitioned yet look exactly the same as a woman, if they are looking masculine and we don't know the person then how exactly do you think we can know the difference and not think the person can be a masculine woman who possibly is same-sex attracted too ?
This is being realistic and honest about our sexual orientation. If you don't like hearing it then it's quite frankly not our problem. Lesbians can fall for trans men and not even know they (trans men) identify this way. Even different pronouns and not identifying as a woman doesn't necessarily stop us from being into someone who is female, you should know that since now the (English) language is shifting so much to include in lesbian attraction non-binary people (again, incredible how it's not all people who identify as non-binary, we are not bisexual). You think we magically can tell how someone identify from just looking at them ?
I know you're not used to it at this point but lesbians are tired of staying silent and being disrespected just for existing. Our sexual orientation doesn't exist as a validation machine. You identify as a trans man ? Great for you ! Now have the decency to listen to us when we talk about our experiences, to just open your eyes and see what's going on around you, to actually document yourself on homosexuality and the history of dating in both the lesbian and trans men community. We share something, it's not a coincidence, even though you seem to deny that. Not all lesbians will date trans men, far from that, but it's really not uncommon, notably for couples that were already together before one of the partners transitioned. There are trans men right now that don't take T or have stopped taking it (while still identifying as trans men) that are 100% desirable to lesbians, that's not what you want to hear but we cannot just stop being attracted to someone who is of the same sex as ours just to be in line with what homophobes like you want everyone to believe.
Does this mean lesbians will "come onto you knowing you're a trans man" if they are attracted to you (assuming the person isn't medically transitioned) ? No. If they don't want to change their label. But also yes. If they are willing to change their label, not to force themselves but because they truly believe it changes something - or out of respect (but then they don't give that respect to their own self). It won't change their nature, their sexual orientation stays the same. Being exclusively attracted to the same sex does not mean "I disrespect your very being as a human person and only see you for your genitals as a sexual object", it means we fall in love with people for their personalities, their passion, their laugh, their smile, every cute detail about them, but that it simply cannot happen if the person is from the opposite sex.
It was very much understood in the lgbt community as a whole up until maybe 12 years ago that trans men and lesbians sometimes date, just like trans women and gay men sometimes date. Trans people themselves were (and still are to some extent, of course), not seeing a contradiction because, you know, they/you are trans, meaning we have the same sex. Hope this helps.
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They have gotten nicer to each other, but it's most likely because they just got used to each other. That's about it. Not everything becomes romantic.
I deeply enjoy seeing them both on screen because I'm a fan of their humour and energy, which is why I like following this pairing, but it strikes me that shippers aren't considering that there are often very simple explanations for things.
(God, this is sounding rude isn't it? I'm not trying to be!)
-> The eating joke: could be any number of things, but sounded like a throwaway reference to an inside joke
-> I don't... see the heart eyes? Damien's always been soft and sweet with people (except when he lets himself be more snarky and sarcastic like we all suspect him to be off-camera). It's only noticeable now with Angela because their original dynamic was more mean-sibling-rivalry.
-> her knowing about that taxidermy Butterfree (I think it was a Butterfree) is really just... stuff you talk about with coworkers. 'oh what's going on?' 'I got this cool thing! *insert long monologue about it*)
-> we know he's been on her podcast, that he's shared his mushroom concoction with her for what was have ostensibly been some kind of throat issue she might have had (or just for a taste). they've been nice and friendly off-camera for a long time. plus, smosh doesn't seem the kind of place that's too big on actual rivalry.
Another big thing is... obviously it's not a good idea to assume another person's sexuality here, but given the thing with Rowan and Angela and Arasha in the revenge LDT episode, I highly doubt Ang is totally straight. So we might never know what she identifies as (and it's not our business to), but assuming they're both cisgendered heterosexual people is just as bad.
Attributing changes on each other is also hard to do, because Smosh not only records videos weeks in advance to their publish date, but also puts up videos in different orders (evidenced by everyone's hair being wildly different sometimes between uploads). So, for all we know, we're seeing X change in them now, which might have been shot before Y incident or Z dialogue.
All this to say that sometimes, the simplest answer really is the answer. i.e. they've just gotten to know each other more and have phased into a more chill interaction style. It just... is a bit uncomfortable to see so much romantic shipping about them when a lot of the thought process is assumptions.
I'm making assumptions too! I acknowledge that! But I just thought it might be a good idea to consider the other angle of things.
Anyway bye, everyone buy the AnthonyIsDead VOD to see Angela and Chanse's halftime show, and hope we get more Damien in videos.
Can't wait for Sword AF 2!
I think you might have misinterpreted my last couple posts.
I think every person that has brought up ANY of the instances has always said they see that it is probably just a coworker thing? and it's not that deep.
Yeah it did sound like a bit of a throwaway joke, but what a weird throwaway?? because really, they could be related?
I fully disagree with the "I don't… see the heart eyes?" you must be blind if you DONT see it. heart eyes don't just mean something 'romantic', it's literally in the NAME "heart-eyes" it just means you can see the love they have for the other person. Damien and Shayne give heart eyes sometimes! it's not a romantic thing all of the time. and yes, they absolutely do give each other heart-eyes.
The butterfree thing was more of a "oh okay! she remembered somehting about him and brought it up! how sweet" it was very obvious it was a 'thing you tell your co-workers' thing
"given the thing with Rowan and Angela and Arasha in the revenge LDT episode, I highly doubt Ang is totally straight."
What in Gods glorious world are you talking about??? I literally re-watched that (Let's Do This) episode because I didn't understand what you meant, and what?? the only thing I can think of Angela talking about her orientation is in this video (click me!) where she says she's been on dates and only uses he/him pronouns. (she still is probably under the umbrella, she was recently in a queer woman play(?) but that could just mean Demi or Ace or another identity under queer)
ALSO nobody was assuming she's cis hetero?? and it doesn't matter?? I like them as just them? I don't need either of them to be anything else then themselves.
I think if seeing people talk about shipping on tumblr is making you so uncomfortable you should block the tag.
Majority of the askes I get the Anon always alludes to it "not being that deep". like in the last couple, they kept putting "(delusional)" in their ask, so I think they're pretty aware.
Some of your points came off a little weird Anon but I think I understand your intentions. I think we agree that Damien and Angela are just good co-worker friends, I just love their dynamic and watching them interact <3
YAY SWORD AF DAY!!! LETS GOOOO
#damangela#damien and angela#damien x angela#damgela#damngela#damien/angela#damngela dynamic enjoyer#if shipping makes you that uncomfortable maybe go back to twitter and stay far far away from tumblr
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“But like once or a couple times now (i block this stuff from my memory as much as i could) I came running back to your blog to see more of your work but got physically uncomfortable while reading an anon's request that heavily genders the reader (female, irc). I skipped the fic entirely even though it was labeled as GN because it made no sense to me why someone would request something common so left field (fem/ fem dom reader) in a niche corner of GN neutral fics. “
Sub writings in general are very niche it’s not just like it’s GN issue specifically. And also: (i block this stuff from my memory as much as i could) does reading stuff that isn’t GN like trigger you 💀 like yes some of us aren’t androgynous dinosaurs some of are feminine and have female parts. Not only cisgender people but also people with different gender “identities” can still be Gn and read fem reader because that’s their sex.If you lack the imagination to input your own preferences why is it the responsibility or requirement of the writer to accommodate? There are so many fics on here that are GN. That’s why we try to put in words like she and her is writing request because being a dominate woman in the real world is actually so much more uncommon.
also very understandable. as a writer it's my own job to make sure i tag my works correctly!
if there was something specific you wanted please make sure to include it in your request!
if there's something you 100% don't want to see then please filter the tags.
i'm sure everyone here is willing to make this a safe space for anyone who loves the degenerate yandere boy :)
i've seen that some other creators here have been having discussions surrounding this as well so this will be my last post addressing this topic as i find that I've made it clear to everyone where this blog stands :)
we both walk on the same street even if we're going different ways, so please don't neglect that you also have a hand in responsibility!
keep safe anons!
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Do that ask thing for Akira or Rui .
and with this, I finally got all of those ask games out of our inbox!! [ask] i know this has been sitting here for over a month maybe two now how embarrassing but yes yes yes omg thank you for sending this when you did i've been so excited to get to it, i love you sooo much I hope you enjoy my totally not biased ramblings and opinions <3 I did both btw, Rui is under the cut!
Sexuality Headcanon: Akira is either bisexual or just unlabeled sapphic to me, with an obvious femme-aligned preference because everyone in revue starlight does but I think lesbian for Akira is just too easy. she simply does not care since her standards are pretty solid and she's not super focused on romantic endeavors outside of roles. she can be a little aromantic spectrum as a treat, too!
Gender Headcanon: gosh i hate this question because it is like one of the things about akira i can never settle on in my mind. is she cisgender. is she gnc. is she transgender. is she masculine. is she feminine. is she both. neither. all. she's akira yukishiro. frau platin, king of the siegfeld institute of music. that's it
A ship I have with said character: I think the biggest one is definitely Akira and Michiru for me, but I have gained much appreciation for Akira and Hisame over the months as well................ i see the vision.
A BROTP I have with said character: Akira and any/all of the Edels, definitely! But that's a given, naturally. especially Shiori or Mei Fan, if we're not counting Michiru for shipping purposes. UM OH. Akira and Fumi!!!!! they're divorced (nudge nudge. your favorite) and they're both so goofy and gosh I love their dynamic so much. when they reconciled . oh my goddd. Akira and Seiran as a whole too, all three of them, but Koharu the most. again . if we're not counting Hisame for shipping purposes, but also in general I think the two of them [Koharu] can bond over so much, like Akira and Maya can, or how Maya and Koharu can. speaking of Maya, Akira and Maya!!! the ones from seisho I see the most bonding with Akira actually would be Maya, Karen and Junna. Junna because of the funny new york stuff in stage plays specifically but even then. ALSO ARURU. BECAUSE I THINK IT'S SWEET AND SILLY.
A NOTP I have with said character: UHHH as always anything not appropriate. juniors, etc. I don't really vibe with Akira and Yachiyo? as anything romantic. I don't think I really hate anything, most things I'm just indifferent towards. if anything, I mean I never understood Akira and Aruru romantically too much either, but I also think in a lot of ways it can be super cute? so idk! Akira and Shizuha maybe. shrug! I'll get back to you on that some other day
A random headcanon: Sun suggested one and I like it so I'll say it first, because Akira ice skates she'd probably be decent if not really good at roller skating, or alternatively she's really flat-out really bad at it for some reason. another one, because she loves horror media, she's really straight-faced watching horror movies and playing roles for plays that are meant to be scary or intimidating, and it makes people really nervous or freaks them out. she's really good at scaring, despite her secretly goofier nature. I'll throw in one more while I'm here, she's really good at flirting and making romantic gestures, but she rarely displays this behavior and it's a side of Akira virtually no one gets to see outside of roles, even future romantic partners.
General Opinion over said character: literally only good things!!! i said this in the rui part of this ask but i have so many comforts and favorites from the source i can't just choose my #1 favorite but akira is definitely up there in the characters of all time category. she has so many layers and i want to study each individual part under a microscope. she's so interesting. she's so silly and awkward. she's so serious and intimidating. she's so secretive. she's so heart on her sleeve. i love her puppy dog expressions in her live2d sprites i love every role she plays i love her singing voice. akira is just so cool!!! i know as mei fan and shiori i looked up to her a lot, i don't want this to be a mile long but she is just so everything, truly
RUI AKIKAZE
Sexuality Headcanon: canonical lesbian. sapphic. girl kisser. well, okay. the only technical 'canon lesbian' is mahiru tsuyuzaki according to the wikis but in my heart of hearts lesbian rui is canon. have you seen her crush on tamao. have you. you should. everyone has. even yuyuko calls it a crush i'm telling you bestie the walls are glass and it's the most wonderfulest thing in the world to me. peace and love on earth
Gender Headcanon: rui akikaze transgender girl icon.
A ship I have with said character: TAMAO AND RUI. FOREVER AND EVER. but also Rui and Yuyuko when it's Fumi and Tamao, I've seen Rui and Shiori and while I don't actively ship it myself because I have others with Shiori that are important to me, I find it to be extremely adorable and 100% can get behind this. love is love
A BROTP I have with said character: anyone from rinmeikan, and mostly yuyuko! I also super love love love the friendship she has with Shiori it makes me so stupidly happy, and all of her interactions with others in her bond stories too! I said this in the Mei Fan one ages ago but 100% I think Rui and Mei Fan would have lots to discuss and relate on, ie: their genderisms, their fighting abilities in acting and how they both reflect/differ, plus their intense admiration for their senpais and partners, etc! and of course, it goes without saying but definitely her relationships with the Chasing Sirius squad, that being Tamao/Kaoruko/Futaba, and especially Kaoruko and Futaba if we count Tamao as something romantic. we love you rui my friend rui
A NOTP I have with said character: same as always, nothing weird nothing gross. there are a lot of characters I don't see working out with Rui like Maya, Claudine, Akira, most of frontier and seiran, etc, but they're not like worth mentioning here. mostly Kaoruko/Futaba if anything, and Fumi too of course. these are all just personal though!
A random headcanon: she's the gentlest giant in the whole wide world but she unintentionally scares everyone in the dorms because she will silently just stand in the hallways or doorways especially because she's too nervous to speak up and get someone's attention until it's too late and they see her or her shadow and freak out. also also she helps tamao with the garden and is always accidentally crushing the flowers or is too gentle and doesn't pack enough dirt around them. tamao of course thinks it's sweet and is never upset but will fix them when rui isn't looking after praising her for a job well done anyway, rui will even tend to the garden when tamao can't and it's usually then that she doesn't 'mess up' -- likely because tamao. isn't there
General Opinion over said character: WAWHAWHAHWHAGHAHGHHGHGHJFGG. ONE OF MY FAVORIEST EVERS. I love everyone in revstar soooo so so so much everyone is a comfort character but if you held me at gunpoint to give you my top 3 characters I would probably have to say Yachiyo, Rui, and uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh um. um. never mind this is way too difficult . but uhhh!!! Rui Rui Rui I love Rui Akikaze so so much, I am so very endlessly proud of her and every development she's had since the beginning of starira's story especially arcana onwards. she's done so much for herself and for those around her, she's really grown into such a beautiful person. I hope she's proud of herself too, and loved herself each and every day
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Psychiatry is dangerous and here's why:
/ PSYCH WARDS - GUARDIANSHIPS - MEDICAL ABUSE - BRIEF MENTION OF FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIPS ABUSE /
To begin with, we are, for both personal and political reasons, anti psychiatry. Psychiatry is not a source of help, but a source of control. We are fully 100% into mad political movements, because yeah, we're mad, we're freaks, and fuck the psychiatry.
[we also acknowledge that there are people, including those in psych wards and/or under guardianship, that can't openly talk about those things]
(we also want to say to those still surviving psych wards and/or guardianships, that we were in your place a few years ago, and we stand and support you and fully hope you'll get out)
We also don't really agree with a lot of what is written in the DSM5, the holy book of psychiatry. Many disorders are out of time in term of accuracy (like autism), and the fact that the DSM5 don't acknowledge either CPTSD (yep, not in the DSM5), nor that many personality disorders are a lot of times because of abuse and are nowadays maladaptive behaviors in a safe environment but were NECESSARY in an unsafe environnement.
But well, it's the goal. Psychiatry is full of white, cisgender, heterosexual doctors, and are influenced by their own experiences as well (because no one can be truly neutral even when working and saying that is actually harmful) and they have the authority and power.
(which is why they abuse, because who is going to believe a freak out of a psychiatrist ward that they were tied to a bed and forced to take meds? No one)
(psychiatrists and nurses, in psych wards, abuse, because yes of the lack of money because most gouvernements in a capitalist society will underpay understaff and underhelp hospitals or schools for example, but also, because the freaks are seen as non logical, non rational, so they know "better" than you)
Psychiatrists have an authoriative power over their patients, because they have the power to give them the meds they could need, the power to put them in a psych ward or under guardianship (and if you're under guardianship power to control your money or even your body autonomy such as around abortion and pregnancy)
The DSM5 is lacking CPTSD or nuances around long term abuse, because simply, it would mean stop denying long term abuse such as : family abuse (so, questioning the whole bullshit that is the nuclear family, but that's for another post), relationships abuse, etc
And that's not something they want, to question the statue quo, cuz it's more comfortable and they gain more by not questioning it.
As well, many disorders in the DSM5 are putting an illness on something that may not be. Such as grief depression, implying that if you are grieving *too long*, well you're mentally ill now! It furthermore the idea that if you're not useful in a productive, capitalist way, well, you're useless. If you can't work, under capitalism, you're useless.
That is one of the reasons mentally ills are put in psych wards (or elders in elderly house for a similar matter), but also because non mentally ill people don't want to see illnesses, they don't want to see madness, other than in ableist sensational horror movies. But other than in fiction, they don't, cuz they don't want to be uncomfortable around something that is not *normal*.
(what does even normal means? Nothing, it's a fucking social myth)
We are not inherently saying to get out psychiatry, especially if you need one for various reasons (meds, etc), and YES, your psychiatrist can be nice, YES! (but honestly we don't care, we had nice psychiatrists, they were still psychiatrists). But being a psychiatrist means actively harming, controlling mentally ill, freak people. The relationship between a psychiatrist and their patient can never be equal (cuz the psychiatrist will always be in an authoritative position over the patient) and by forth, the patient can be abused at any moment they show signs of being too mad, too abnormal, too mentally ill, too freaky.
So, anyway, fuck psychiatry
#mad pride#freak pride#mentally ill#psychiatry#psych wards#psych ward#hospital#ableism#guardianship#medical abuse
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Ok so this is a bit of an embarrassing story + question but: I am a cis straight male, and I was swiping on hinge looking for someone to get in a relationship with. I found a cute girl who happened to be trans and I figured, ah you know, trans women are women it's no big deal. So we go on a date and it's going great and next thing you know we're in the bedroom and getting it on. I'll spare most of the details but long story short, I couldn't even get myself up. I was so embarrassed and I felt like I insulted her, I tried to explain that oh yeah no worries this happens all the time I always struggle to keep it up but I don't think she bought that sadly. I guess my question is: is there a good way to bring up that I don't think this is going to work? My intent wasn't to be some knuckle dragging chaser who only wants to use her, and I really don't want to insult her further. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.
I see. That's quite the predicament. I'll do my best to answer your question, however, the approach I want to take in doing so is going to be long-winded. Bear with me.
I will preface this by reminding you that trans people are not a monolith. That being said, many of us have been told in no uncertain terms that our bodies, even if we are comfortable with them, are an eyesore at best. When you're trans and interested in engaging in sexual activity with cisgender people, there's a lot of pressure to look and act certain ways. And deep down you know that even if you do everything right, even if you discuss things openly beforehand, they might take one look at your chest or what's in your pants and get cold feet.
Couple that with dysphoria and harmful myths specific to transmisogyny (especially the idea that trans women will happily violate the consent of their partners) and you've got a cocktail of anxiety and self-loathing.
So when you set aside time to have some fun with a sexual partner and they can't seem to get aroused, it can bring up some painful thoughts and feelings. You might feel like your partner is just too polite to admit they don't find you attractive, and that in not getting aroused, their body is rejecting you for them. You might even be struck with the horrific thought "am I forcing myself on them?" Basically, there's a good chance you'll find it very difficult to convince yourself that them not getting aroused isn't somehow your fault.
Dysphoria, to put it bluntly, is a bitch. But let's put that aside for a second and talk about you.
You said:
"I tried to explain that oh yeah no worries this happens all the time, I always struggle to keep it up, but I don't think she bought that."
In other words, you generally have difficulty getting aroused in the bedroom. This is not a new problem for you, nor is it specific to this particular sexual partner. In my honest opinion, this information is crucial--you're genuinely interested in having sex with her, even if your body doesn't cooperate on command, not to mention you genuinely care about how this might have impacted her, and may continue to do so in the future.
So I'll address the elephant in the room and ask you directly:
Do you want to break things off with her? Would you still want to stop seeing her if there was a way for you to find a workaround for your libido, for both of you to enjoy sexual activities together?
If the answer is yes, then I would recommend letting her down gently. Make it clear that this is a 'you' problem and has nothing to do with her, that you find her attractive even if your body isn't cooperating in the bedroom.
But if the answer is no, and you're not well-versed in sexual activities aside from penetration, you should know that sex is a much broader category than you think. There's a wide variety of sexual activities out there, both vanilla and kinky, with plenty of types of stimulation to explore. You won't know what works for you--what turns you on fully and quickly enough in the moment--unless you've done a thorough job of exploring your own body, or at the very least exploring it with the help of a partner.
If you're willing to experiment a little, you might find out a surefire way to "perk up", so to speak. For some people, that's prostate stimulation. For others, it's toys, maybe vibrators or restraints. I myself am on the asexual spectrum and also find it difficult to get aroused as a result. But I've read enough smut and discussed my sexual interests with close friends enough to figure out that, for example, the bedroom dynamic between me and a sexual partner is much more arousing than the way someone else's genitals look or feel, or the thought of having sex.
Barring issues outside your control like erectile dysfunction, self-exploration is a tried and true method for many people who have difficulty in the same area.
That being said, I don't want to make any assumptions about you, your preferences or your life. If you've already made up your mind that this isn't going to work out, far be it from me to convince you otherwise. But knowing that things were going well and you were both happy up until this one issue presented itself, it would be a shame if I didn't attempt to write you a thorough reply.
#anonymous#questions#ask a trans person#relationship advice#bedroom advice#dating advice#dating a trans person#sex ed
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I would love to hear your Bob is Queer Coded essay!
I loved Vicious Fun so much, I ended up watching it three times. First time through, I was so lost, reveling in the world of the movie. But of course what I always want to know is - can there be a queer reading? And the answer is yes, he'll yes, and absolutely yes. For starters, is any horror not queer? But more importantly, let's talk about Bob and slashers. SPOILERS AHEAD.
The important background to know about slashers is that the violence in these movies is highly sexualized. Stabbing and wounds are symbolically phallic, representing penetration and the wounds serving the role of a vagina. One reason these movies were so highly charged with sexual and violent images was reflecting the contemporary ideas of sex at the time, how promiscuity was seen as a social threat, and the eventual outcomes were often symbolic of women taking power back over their bodies. It's complicated, but the main part to note is the sexual symbolism of stabbing.
ANYWAY we're talking about Bob. See, here's the deal with Bob, he's a ladies man. He's a macho guy. He drives one of the most phallic cars in history. The movie bends over backwards to stress he's seductive and represents everything a guy could aspire to. Leaving out the serial killer bit, he drives a fast car, gets what he wants with his charm, can do anything be anyone, and everyone respects him. But... do we see him with any women?
Not... really. Once, we see him with Sarah but other than that, he's himself with other men. Blending in, but also free to express what he is. He sits at the bar with our protagonist early on, sharing long and intimate gazes. At the police station he charms and seduces the cops, going so far as to pour drinks and have a soft lit date with one of them. And when Bob is violent, he's only able to really get it on with men. He talks a lot about women, but when it comes to his hot and bloody climax, he's with a guy. From a violent perspective, Bob isn't straight.
I would argue that even his presentation is queer. Look at our other killers. They're rough, a bit ragged, stubbly, decorated in the accouterments of manhood be it a business suit or sheer mountainous size (soooo great to see Robert Maillet). Even Hideo with his perfect grooming presents seriously masculine. But not Bob.
Bob wears a shimmering, flamboyant jacket, pastels, driving gloves in a kind of counterfashionable flourish of style that is precisely what happens in queer culture. His face is pale, his lips emphatically red, looking almost as if he's wearing lipstick, along with tight jeans and soft, smooth skin. Bob as shown here is doesn't look traditionally masculine and when he does - it's a costume, not himself. His mustache is fake, his one of the boys, but his macho friendliness with the police is fake because he doesn't belong with cisgender, heterosexual guys. Bob has a look of the quintessentially perfectly groomed gay guy of the 1980s, who straights just call a confirmed bachelor. He reflects both the boom of gay culture during the era, and also the dangers of being outed which were still very high.
There's one time Bob tries to kill a woman, and he can't do it. He's not strong enough to bring the knife down, metaphorically not potent enough to perform a penetrative act. He is literally shoved out of a bedroom, his advances rejected. And when he's on the way out, so much metaphor. He screams when he sees his eye, metaphorically he experiences the horror of acknowledging who he is, looking at himself. For the first time in his life, he's the one penetrated, which seems to also horrify him and, knowing at the end that Carrie has a mission to pursue more serial murders, and knowing that the vast majority of them are effectively the same class of heterosexual man that has been forcing Bob into hiding himself, he says... "Good luck." The climax of his story is an understanding that hierarchy which demanded people like Bob hide themselves is going to be systemically killed off by the next generation.
It's rough around the edges, but that's my read, my queer read. I think it's not necessarily something intentional, but it's fun for me to think about and we can always have more queer ideas in horror.
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Yes, yes. I think as a whole, the LGBTQ+ community -- while it can be incredibly welcoming -- can also be invalidating for people with certain identities.
Non-androgynous enby folk are typically written off as fakes (and effectively put into boxes that they are trying to escape), bisexuals and pansexuals are sometimes seen as "not real" by the community and often less likely to be accepted by it, anyone out side of the three main pronouns is called attention seeking (and people who go by they/them still are, sadly), asexuals are labelled "late-bloomers". The list goes on and on.
I think the toxicity in the LGBTQ+ community is just as damning as the general queerphobia in other spaces -- while it may not be as directly dangerous (though still harmful) it still plays a big role in why a lot of queer folk don't think they fit into the community or are uncomfortable expressing themselves to other queer folk. Namely white gay men who have become comfortable with the sort of standardization (I won't say acceptance because we're still not there yet) they have gone through because of media influence are the ones to bring about this uneasiness.
I hate to say it but being a white gay man or a white lesbian woman tends to put you at the top of this sort involuntary queer social hierarchy we've got going on.
That aside, you're not being presumptuous at all! I do quite enjoy being on this blog, even if I am mostly just a person who sits in the background. I think you're (both of you) are great creators that strive and do a really great job at being inclusive in your works. It also never fails to make my day when you effectively shut down the insert choice of word-phobic people that have the audacity to think their opinions matters. [|:7
Incredibly welcoming,,, I think the real life presence is more so welcoming than the online, given most of the flack I catch about the parts of my identity comes from online queer folks, not really IRL ones (aside from the previous mentions). I think the community as a whole has become too interested in policing what identities are "real" and which ones "aren't real enough" that it's just largely a negative thing, but that's mostly based on my experiences and those of other people I know.
I have so much to say about all the things you listed but I realize that it's a long list and people are tired of my queer rants on how other queers and stuff treat people LMAO so I will Withhold but just know I had a HUGE paragraph typed before i deleted it erogjerojg
I think a lot of the problems in the LGBT+ community at this point has everything to do with complacency from white cis lesbian and gay persons; while they do face discrimination, it is far less than other people in the community, given the two groups get the MOST standardization in media and always have. You very rarely see poc gays/lesbians, trans persons, non-binary folks of any flavor, but what do you always see... white gay men or lesbian women. In next to EVERY movie or tv show, in many YA novels, like they're everywhere while the rest of us? Really aren't. So, they become more complacent about LGBT+ matters because... in reality... it won't hurt them as badly as it does everyone else, because... they're the standard. Also, they're white and at the very least are cisgendered, which makes them More Tolerable for the white cishets.
Gods, one of our favorite things is shutting down the phobes.. Like I know I shouldn't engage. I shouldn't. But it's also incredibly funny to imagine them raging behind their little screens, going and screeching to the rest of their phobe buddies how much of a [insert slur or common insult for people seen as female by such groups], and, really? i think it gives a lot of people a good laugh, too
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Hi! *shoves her way into your previous ask box about Twitter trolls without being invited*.
I find it tragically ironic that we're finding out mean Twitter people are being rude about Kitty!Buck at the same time you update that marvelous work of fiction with a chapter in which Buck tells Eddie Twitter is toxic. Given your reply to that ask, and how on the nose you are about literally everything else of import, I can only assume people like this in general are why you brought it up. Imagine these people calling themselves out like that. Like... if you're going to complain about an extremely well written piece of fiction on the basis of being different, what else are you out there being an unsolicited tool about?
Anyway - regardless of how totally wrong they are, it sucks to know it's even happening. That doesn't feel good. So, as another random internet stranger, I'm here to tell you that I've been surfing fanfiction for various fandoms for nearly 15 years and you are easily among the Top 5 Writers I have ever encountered. I have reread many of your works multiple times (including Kitty!Buck). The quality of your writing and the creativity of your mind and how you express it encourages me to get out of my own fiction comfort zone and read different things, and your work has ALWAYS rewarded me for doing that. You entertain me and your fiction is both comfort food and food for thought, and I cannot express enough how impressive that is.
It absolutely breaks my heart hearing about excellent authors being dragged by anyone, let alone individuals who likely don't have even an ounce of the talent you have in your pinky toe. Thank you for sharing your art with this fandom ❤
(I also REALLY hope you still have all your toes, otherwise I feel like an asshole so, sorry about that).
firstly, i recognise your username! welcome to the discourse, friend! <3
look, my first week on fandom twitter i watched a bunch of 20 year olds gang up on a 15 year old and tell her to kill herself. so. poor introduction in general. i saw doxxing. i saw (and continue to see) CONSTANT harassment of the cast of 9-1-1. i do not know how oliver put up with it so long. yes, i do tend to incorporate things into my fics that bother me IRL - namely, how truly horrible people can be to each other under the face of anonymity and with a little fake internet power. and we aren't even talking bagging fics here, we're talking a larger scope of parasocial relationships and faux-power. at the end of the day (and i just made a post about this) they have the right to discuss work once it's published and out in the open. they have the right to not like it - and they didn't come here or to my fic to spew hate about it. so, like, kudos on that front?
and thank you so much for your kind words - i actually might've teared up a lil but i'm having a total shitshow of a week lol. i want people to get something from my work. to me, my favourite works of fiction are like coming home and finding catharsis, and that's what i'm ultimately trying to achieve in my writing. contemporary fiction is often overlooked or even described as "predicting the future" when a lot of the time, no matter what the medium is, it's a reflection of what's going on in the world. kitty buck is (ridiculous concept and excuse for shameless fluff aside) my interpretation of what i've seen the last two years - mindless and truly unmitigated hatred towards all groups that aren't white and cisgender, but at the same time, finding those few members of your A-team who always have your back. (someone should stop me because i WILL prattle about fiction writing as a historical benchmark forever if left unchecked)
they can go ahead and drag me. it's not going to stop me from writing. might give me fuel for thought, but it will absolutely not stop me from writing.
i do have all my toes. and fingers, for that matter. i did have to check because its 12:53am and i am TIRED lol
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Kevin! (Cause we established he's your absolute fave last time >:3c) and maybe Alan if you're up to it, if you haven't gotten either of these already of course!
Hello! Tis true, Kevin is one of my favourite Rik characters. I don't know if he's my favourite because the ordering of the list changes multiple times a day 😂 but he's up there!
Kevin Turvey
Sexuality headcanon ~ Sorry guys, I think he's straight. I also wouldn't be entirely surprised if he's never had a girlfriend before.
OTP ~ Clearly, Theresa Kelly is not interested. I have plans to pair Kevin up with someone in a future fic... But I'm not telling you who that is because it's a spoiler! As for shipping him with someone in general, I'm not sure. 🤔
BrOTP ~ Keith Marshall (and his musical anarchy). Kevin's Ade counterpart. Yeah, they seem to fall out sometimes, but what Rik and Ade duo don't?
NOTP ~ Mick. I mean, just why? 😂 Still not an anti but I couldn't imagine anyone shipping it, to be honest.
First headcanon that pops into my head ~ Hmm... Apart from adding him to the family tree of Riks as Rick's cousin... I headcanon him as neurodivergent in some way.
Favourite line from this character ~ Difficult but I'll go with: "I just want to say, don't bother trying to go see me in Superman 3, because I'm not in it." Typing it out doesn't yield the same effect as hearing him say it.
One way in which I relate to this character ~ Well, as anyone who's read a few of my posts on here will be aware of, I have a slight tendancy to waffle about things I'm interested in. It's really annoying sometimes - not being able to say things in a few words - because uni essays have word limits. Anyway, Kevin is nothing if not verbal diarrhea personified and, though I don't generally talk as much as him, if I'm comfortable around someone and they set me off on anything I'm interested/have some knowledge about, oof. 😅
Thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character ~ Kevin is sweet in comparison to most of Rik's other characters but he does still retain the quality of being crap at most things, for comedic effect. When he's beaten up by the park keeper or getting bollocked over the phone by Theresa Kelly's dad, they're both kinda wince worthy moments. Still very funny though. 😂
Cinnamon roll or problematic fave ~ Cinnamon roll ❤️ a rarity with this lot!
Alan B'Stard
Sexuality headcanon ~ Alright so, I do think that Alan is super duper cishet and that this is an important part of his characterisation. Because he's such a bigot, that fact that he encompasses certain characteristics - white, cisgender amab, born lower middle class and now a millionaire, privately educated followed by Oxbridge, heterosexual, southern English accent (yes, this matters) - is important as it heightens his position of privilege in society. It's been easier for him to get where he is... And he doesn't want anyone else (the "ordinaries") rising to his level. So I think Alan is just homophobic, rather than having internalised homophobia, because it makes much more sense for his character to me. That said, anyone is free to headcanon his sexuality however they wish. I was actually indirectly responsible for spawning a crack ship (UtterB'Stard or Rick X Alan) and I love the results. I just think, if we're looking at canon B'Stard and what he's meant to represent, he's absolutely heterosexual.
OTP ~ I don't think Alan is capable of any form of love - be it romantic, platonic, familial, anything - so when I say Sarah here it's not because I think they're adorable, in love and simply misunderstood. 😂 Alan and Sarah's marriage is one of convenience and a match made in hell. In s3 and 4 particularly they are an evil power couple and it's horribly delightful. Alan couldn't be married to anyone but a woman like Sarah, because Sarah is one of the few people who is able to best him and could perhaps be his undoing (she almost is a few times). I suppose he could also marry someone completely oblivious to who he really is, someone who falls for his charming facade at every turn, but they wouldn't really be a partnership, would they? They wouldn't really know Alan like Sarah does - and even then Sarah probably doesn't know every part of Alan. Whether or not Sarah could find a life partner in someone other than Alan is a different matter, as while Sarah isn't a nice person and has next to no moral qualms over Alan's exploits, it is arguable that she only gets worse because of Alan's influence. However, for Alan B'Stard? Well, they say you should keep your enemies close.
BrOTP ~ It's got to be Piers, really. Poor idiot. Although Alan calls him his "best friend" at least once, he's employing a grossly perverted definition of friendship. Alan doesn't have equals. Even those he works with and appears to have an understanding with at points, like Sir Greville, he'd stab in the back in a heartbeat. Because he's a Tory MP. As Sir Greville says of Alan and Piers in an attempt to smear Alan, they have a sadomasochistic relationship - and it's not a consensual one. Yet, amongst the darkness that TNS reflects, Piers and Alan are friends on the surface. And how things appear on the surface is all that matters in politics.
NOTP ~ I can see the reasoning but I don't really ship Alan and Piers. Sexualities aside, I doubt Alan would let Piers near his "perfect" body in that way, even though Alan would obviously be setting all the rules. There are plenty of other ways he can already get out his sadistic desires on Piers. Still, as I've said with other ships, you ship it? Go ahead, you foul pervert! 😂
First headcanon that pops into my head ~ I like the idea of Alan having something to do with Rick's parents' deaths, though I can't take credit for that idea. Hmm... Original Alan B'Stard headcanon... Okay, not a headcanon but, me and a friend have an AU where he gets turned into a demon looking creature for being such a gigantic twat.
Favourite line from this character ~ Oh god, there are far too many to choose from! I'll go for a classic: "You see, in the good old days, you were poor... you got ill... and you died!"
One way in which I relate to this character ~ Woah. Uh. I would sincerely hope I'm nothing like Alan! I guess I'll say, we both have an interest in politics? Although obviously from different angles and for vastly different reasons.
Thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character ~ I don't think anything does. You're not really embarrassed by Alan, you're horrified by him but unable to look away. Sort of... Ensnared. I guess that's the most embarrassing thing about Alan, the knowledge that he's so good at smiling for the camera and being everyone's blue eyed boy that he can fool millions of people. There are real Alan B'Stards who have popularity via similar principles. Isn't that a bit embarrassing? That all someone has to do is flash some charisma and a large enough portion of society to be a concern will throw themselves at their feet?
Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? ~ Oh, he's the most problematic of my faves by FAR. 😂
Thanks for the ask!
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Daily Blog #6: August 13, 2021
Okay, okay, I know it's a couples days later, but I can assure you that I did not forget; I purposefully, and kinda without a better option, didn't post on Friday, and you'll see why.
So the day started off pretty regularly: I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower, and then sat around playing games and watching YouTube for a bit.
That was until my friend showed up at my house...
He called me and said to come outside, so I did.
It wasn't long until I got into his car, and we started driving.
I definitely should have been more anxious or nervous heading out, but for some reason, I just sat there with my head absentmindedly poking out the window, not really thinking about it.
I really wish I had grasped the situation a little better.
We got down there after an hour and a half of driving and we parked a bit away because there were so many people there, so many people there, in fact, that we just got some food until it calmed down again.
It was gonna be a great fucking concert.
Hella Mega Tour 2021, originally supposed to be Hella Mega Tour 2020, but postponed for obvious reasons.
We shopped for a tiny bit beforehand, not buying anything, and then headed over to the stadium 45 minutes before the concert was set to start. We were let in about 10 minutes later, and we filled our contraband water bottles that we managed to hide on the way in.
We sat there for a bit, me just listening to music on my Redmi Buds 3 pro.
I love these things.
Pretty soon the music started, and it was The Interrupters; everyone was feeling pretty lazy for this bit.
It's not like they were bad or anything, they were actually pretty good, but I guess everyone was just getting situated and didn't wanna bother using up all of their energy lol.
So The Interrupters' set is up, and they tear down the stage and reset it. Before too terribly long, Weezer starts up, and there's a lot bigger reaction from the crowd than there was before: people knew the songs, like Africa, Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, and Feels Like Summer to name a few.
I was getting into it a bit, I knew a good few of the songs, I was moving along, I sang a bit, took some video.
What's cool is that I could feel myself moving along the scale, like going from no excitement while no one was playing, then tapping my foot and grooving to The Interrupters.
When Weezer first came on, I was just sitting there like, "alright, this is good shit." Towards the end, I was quietly singing Buddy Holly, their last song for the night.
I say quietly because there was a lot more loudness to come.
I should add that, up until this point, the music had been kinda unbearably loud, the highs really piercing and hitting hard.
Additionally, up until this point, I had been trying my best to document the concert with videos and audio recordings; it wasn't so much about enjoying the concert, for I've always been taught just to record stuff and not worry about the concert.
I don't think I've ever really enjoyed any of the concerts I've ever been to; I was there, but I wasn't. I didn't really know too many of the songs, and I had only listened to the artists in passing, not to mention the fact that my mother had been at every other concert I've been to, which is stifling in itself. I really can't enjoy anything when she's around.
But here we were; it was starting to get dark, and Fall out Boy was coming onstage. The crowd was getting into it with Weezer, and it was time for Fall Out Boy. The energy here had far exceeded both Weezer and The Interrupters, and this went for me as well.
I was sitting there, singing along and still occasionally recording, but I didn't have my phone out too much. I started to dance in my seat with every song, for I knew almost every one: Sugar, We're Going Down, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark, Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy, The Last of the Real Ones, Save Rock And Roll, and Dance, Dance being a few.
Throughout this set, everyone was singing along, but the real fun had yet to begin; the scent of smoke from the flames and fireworks finding its way through the crowd, the music now strong instead of piercing, a sense of unity between everyone in this packed stadium, between people of all walks of life: men, women, children, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gay, straight, lesbian, ace, black, white, Asian, Mexican, young, old, middle-aged, and everything in between and outside... It didn't matter who you were or where you came from; you were at a fucking party, and everyone was gonna fuck it up once the main act came on stage.
Meanwhile, everyone was more than happy to celebrate with Fall Out Boy and some of their greatest and most memorable tracks.
Part way through Fall Out Boy's set, I decided to get off of my ass and join the growing number of audience members who were really getting into the groove and feeling the music.
It was so close to becoming an explosion of energy once Fall Out Boy was about to leave the stage.
After they left, the set was torn down once again and set up for Green Day.
Their was a low mix of music playing through the speakers all the while things were being set up. Once the stage was set, the music continued for a bit, but was then cut and replaced with a voice and lyrics that everyone knew immediately.
"Is this the real life. Is this just fantasy."
The crowd sings along to every word.
"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."
Freddie's voice poured out into the crowd, and the crowd sang them right back.
"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see"
The song continued, and the whole crowd sang to the very end.
This really goes to show how impactful some people and groups can be on our lives... Although no one at the show was connected to Queen or Freddie Mercury, everyone who came to see these 4 bands still knew this great group.
Once the song was over, a mix of some of the most famous rock anthems began to play:
"We will, we will rock you"
"I love rock and roll"
"Hey, Ho, let's go"
A glorious piece all lead up to the 4 running onstage, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jason White, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, joined now by 2 new members, Jason Freese and Kevin Preston.
All at once, it was an explosion of strong and passionate guitar jamming, soon followed by the drums and vocals of American Idiot. All at once, the crowd was rocking along with bopping heads, stomping feet, and swaying bodies. I only had my phone out to record for a short moment before I put it away and scarcely removed it from my pants for the rest of the concert.
I couldn't help but feel cocky, as a bi/pansexual (idk which one lmao), being allowed to sing the line,
"Well maybe I'm the faggot America"
I was like, "You straight bastards better not be singing that line 🤣"
It was absolutely incredible; the crowd cheered passionately and wholeheartedly at the end of every song and solo, after every quote from the band.
The coolest part about the concert was the fact that everyone just lost themselves in the music, as well as that everyone, without hesitation, followed what Billie Joe said. He says jump? WE FUCKING JUMPED. He tells us to scream? We. Fucking. Screamed. And when he wanted us to sing, we sang. I mean, okay, we were singing the whole time xD. I'm sure we would've sang if he told us to and we weren't already doing so lmao. What he said was our law, and we were doing our jobs as the dutiful citizens of Suburbia by following those laws.
It really is hard to express the level of pure energy at this gathering, especially when it radiates from every point in the packed stadium.
I screamed so loud and hard, and sang so long and passionately, that my voice started to go. But. Guess. What.
When you're at a place like this, no matter what, you just have this insatiable urge to keep going no matter what. When my arm got tired of throwing my fist in the air, I kept fucking going and even used the other arm too.
It's such a strange feeling when you feel like you're about to give out, like your voice is gonna break, or you're gonna collapse from dehydration and exhaustion, but you find around you the strength and power to keep on going, no matter how quickly your vocal health deteriorates.
Ask my friend, I couldn't speak properly after that shit xD. He even threatened to send a video of me talking to my choral teacher, who honestly would have been mad at me lmao.
Meanwhile, Green Day is playing some of their greatest hits, old and new alike, and I knew every single fucking one of them. I sang every song, and only took a break between 2 of them to down my whole bottle of contraband water in 3 seconds flat.
At one point, the band stopped playing, and Billie spoke into the microphone.
"Get your pretty lights out. I wanna see the pretty lights."
Everyone got their phones out and turned the torches on, as per his command.
"Turn the house lights off."
The lights go off, and the stadium is lit up almost as bright as it had been before, but this time with the lights of thousands.
"Look at that."
It was honestly an incredible moment.
That brings me to another point: when you go to a concert, you're not just paying for the music, you're not just paying to see a band, you're paying for an experience.
Let me tell you, this was one hell of an experience.
If you don't leave a concert feeling fulfilled, then the performers didn't do their job of giving you the experience that you paid to be a part of. I'm so happy that these four bands, especially Green Day, were able to deliver.
I really did love every moment of that show, which is such a rarity for me. I'm really happy that my friend took my mother's place. I can't fucking enjoy everything when she's around.
Oh yes, it wouldn't be one of my daily blogs without me talking about how my mother consistently pisses me off. Don't worry, I have some happy shit left to end on.
I swear to fluff though, she always manages to ruin everything for me. When we went to see The Lion King on Broadway, she insisted on coming with. That meant that I wasn't able to relax in my seat because this disgusting woman was sitting next to me and I had to cram myself to the side of my chair away from her. It meant that I wasn't allowed to cry when Mufasa died or during Can You Feel The Love Tonight because I knew I'd get made fun of for it.
I even went to a Fall Out Boy concert before, her refusing to let me go myself, and I didn't sing a single song because she'd just tell me to let the professionals handle it.
And for fuck's sake, the time she compared me trying to fucking validate my existence as a trans person to her wanting a car... That will always fucking piss me off.
Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about how she ruins everything for me.
I literally cannot be myself around her. I've always been judged and ridiculed by my parents, and still am. I can't enjoy anything when they're around because I'm too focused on trying not to get made fun of or yelled at.
That being said, that concert was absolutely fucking incredible. I was with thousands of people who felt the same way that I did, and I could fucking jam out if I wanted to.
Apart from everyone being really on top of their game, and Billie Joe basically not aging since he turned 25, the only really notable thing left to say about the performance was when they pulled a kid guitarist onstage. He played for a bit, and they ended up letting him keep the guitar lmao.
BEST PART IS:
I SAW THE KID AFTER THE CONCERT, AND I WAS LIKE,
"Omg, hey, can I get a selfie with you?"
I was trying to be really low-key and quiet cuz I didn't wanna draw too much attention to him lmao.
The security guard was like, "Yeah, sure, but hurry up."
I TOOK THE PIC REALLY QUICKLY AND THEN HEADED OUT
HERE IT IS
YES, OF COURSE I BLOCKED OUT MY FACE
But I absolutely love the vibes of this photo xD. It's blurry, the lighting is shit, and you can barely make out any details. It has a lot of character, and I would take this over a clean, clear photo any day.
Walking away, the kid's mom said, "You're like, the coolest kid ever now."
Agreed.
Then it was time to go home. Honestly, I didn't feel sad that it didn't last longer, or disappointed that I had to leave. I was actually very satisfied and fulfilled with what happened, which is honestly the way it should be.
Driving home, I stayed awake by sticking my arm out of the window and letting the cold rain hit fast like tiny needles.
I got home.
I passed out.
Although, that was technically on Saturday 🤔
ANYWAY, THIS IS MY LONG ASS BLOG FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH
I hope you enjoyed
Be good people!!!!
-Leonna
#Concert#Green Day#Fall Out Boy#Weezer#The Interrupters#Green Day Concert#Daily Blog#Blog#Trans#LGBTQ#alternative rock#Alternative#Pop Punk#Punk Rock
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in light of some posts i've seen from a few mutuals recently, i need to say the following: if you believe that certain asexuals (specifically heteromantic, demi, and gray aces) are not valid or do not belong in the lgbt+ community, please do us both a favor and let me know so we can go our separate ways.
the lgbtqap+ community should be about standing together against a world centered around those who are both heterosexual and cisgender. instead, it has become a competition over which group within the community has suffered the most. for example, i recently saw an argument that said "well, lesbians suffer corrective rape" that was being used as an argument against the fact that corrective rape is a problem that affects aces. like.... corrective rape of lesbians is not inherently worse than the corrective rape of aces. they're both rape. these situations are equally horrific. the fact that someone tried to invalidate rape with rape in an attempt to say that aces haven't suffered oppression and to justify their aphobia boggles my mind.
before you ask, yes, i am aware of the fact that, for example, millions of gay men have been murdered for their sexual orientation and that as far as we know, no asexual person has been killed because they are ace. yes, i know that aces in relationships that are or appear to be m/f aren't likely to experience harassment or violence in the street because their nonconforming sexuality is not evident at a glance. yes, i know there is a lot of privilege in that. however, that does not mean that aces don't experience oppression.
our oppression is mental and emotional, and a lot of it comes from within the community, particularly the community on tumblr. invalidation and dehumanization are the most common tactics. we're told that asexuality isn't real and are accused of making our sexuality up for attention and because we want to feel oppressed. we are called plants and robots. we are told that our lack of sexual attraction is unnatural and that we're lesser than animals because "even dumb animals want sex". we are told that talking about our orientation is tmi/gross/nsfw(???) and that nobody wants to hear about it (these are often said by people from groups that frequently and openly discuss their own sexualities. such hypocrisy). regardless, even if aces were unoppressed, we would still have a place within the community because we are not heterosexual (yes, even those who only experience heteromantic attraction).
this compulsion to play oppression olympics needs to end. all it accomplishes is dissent and discord within a community that should be loving and supportive of everyone within it. i shouldn't have to prove that we suffer oppression to justify our place in the lgbt+ community or for the community to welcome us and listen to our voices. i know that being killed for who you are is objectively miles worse than being called a faker or inhuman, and i'm not trying to equate the two. i am saying that we need to stop invalidating others and belittling their experiences through trying to one up each other on who has it worse and instead accept each other, because we have one big thing in common: we are all living in the same heteronormative cisgendered world, and it does not want to include us.
i don't need anybody who hates who i am or what i believe around, so if you disagree, please unfollow. my follower count is just a number that has no bearing on my life whatsoever. your attitudes towards people like me, however, has a huge impact on my mental and emotional well-being. i don't care if you think i'm personally "legitimate" because i experience biromantic attraction; you still want to exclude people who deserve to be included and accepted into the community just as much as the rest of us and i cannot and will not accept that viewpoint.
#if you don't agree please send me a civil message letting me know that we should unfollow each other#there's no need for things to get nasty#we can act like adults and part ways quietly#also i don't know if i'm gonna have the energy to discuss this#but i guess if you want to send a civil message you can#i just won't guarantee an answer bc i don't even have it in me to keep convos going with my bf/family/friends right now (sorry)#asexuality#ace discourse#long post#not marvel#rape mention#rape tw#rape cw#rape /#homophobia mention#homophobia tw#homophobia cw#homophobia /
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