#yes the context is important to make this make sense
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Alright I ask for headcanons yet again
Except this time for once I'm not insane
How would Chiori react to the reader preferring their own clothes over Teyvat's?
(Judging from the overall complexity of Genshin Impact's outfits, I can deduce that our modern-day clothing probably feels a lot more comfy)
Read this prologue for context!
Scenario: Reaction to Reader's casual dress style
Characters: Chiori
For starters, Chiori is an incredibly forward person on purpose, no matter who she's dealing with, no matter how powerful or all mighty they might be, and even though you may be special in a different way, it's no difference to her.
When she sees your clothes for the first time, her mind takes a moment to properly process it. She hadn't actually imagined what you looked like before, but an otherworldly fashion style wasn't in her mind! She'll definitely rope you into checking out your outfit sooner than later.
With this check though, she's quick to realize that your outfit, made of a simple t-shirt and jacket, is made with comfortability and casual vibes in mind. Just to make sure, she'll ask plenty of questions! Mostly out of curiosity.
As soon as she confirms this theory, she'll get started on measuring you up, and making a new outfit of her own! She understands now that you prefer comfortability over style, but that doesn't mean she'll let you walk away without something of hers on.
She'll probably make a few prototype sets to understand what you find comfortable in clothes, as she was very much specialized in fancier, high status clothing making! It's a challenge she very much welcomes, no matter how much you may protest her attempts.
In the end though, she is primarily doing this for you, to help you feel more at home in this weird place. She knows the effects that clothing can have not only in onlookers, but one's sense of self, and she's here to help out with that.
Once you sound satisfied, and select which of her prototypes you liked best, she'll make a set only for you, making sure to stop progress on her other orders until this one is finished. It'll be a secret endeavor, as she knows the value in keeping your name hidden.
That'll be far from it, however. Don't be surprised if you get gifts from her every now and then with more sets of comfortable, yet fashionable clothing! Making sure to put in an Inazuman flare for you to fit in best, every piece was original and unique.
Whenever you feel the urge to thank her, she simply cuts it short and continues on. In fact, since this is her way of thanking you, she can't help but take it as something endearing, how you failed to see how much you've already done for her.
She hasn't forgotten the kindness and happiness that you showed her when you still controlled the game world from outside, and this is just her returning a due favor. You definitely notice the difference when interacting with the others, as they feel more at ease with your more familiar clothes. Perhaps she was right about your previous clothes being a problem...
"How would you say that set is compared to the last? Yes, these are important questions. This has been quite the enjoyable riddle, but I can only improve with feedback, and you're my only target audience. Don't worry about rushing it, just think deeply and answer me in detail, for the sake of a better set next time."
#genshin impact#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin headcanons#genshin impact headcanons#inazuma aficionado sagau#chiori x reader#sagau chiori#sagau chiori x reader
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Do you think Sephiroth knows Lucrecia is his mother now?
I'm currently holding onto the belief that he doesn't. At least, not in a detailed sense. Yes, he should technically be able to figure it out using the knowledge from the Lifestream. But he never makes mention of it at all, nor does his relationship with Jenova really seem to change in any way. Lucrecia is kind of an extremely important character throughout the Compilation. If they were going to connect the dots with her and Seph, they would have had him say something by now. Maybe they will do something of that nature in Part 3. But I don't think so. Sephiroth seems pretty unshaken in the belief he is Jenova's son, complete with conceptualizing himself as something inhuman and of Jenova's heritage, despite coming from two human parents. Again, someone with Sephiroth's massive ego would have openly refuted alternative claims out loud, especially during one of his monologues. The fact that he never refers to himself as anything other than Jenova's son leads me to believe that he really doesn't know about Lucrecia at all.
Plus, there's Opera Omnia to consider. Vincent pretty much outright TELLS Sephiroth about Lucrecia...only for Sephiroth to completely blow him off.
Keep in mind that the full context of this exchange is framed with Sephiroth going on and on about Jenova, only for Vincent to refute him with claims about Lucrecia without actually mentioning Lucrecia's name. It's treated like a reveal to Sephiroth, only for Sephiroth to ignore what Vincent is saying. So Sephiroth's rejection isn't "hey I know about Lucrecia and I don't fucking care what you have to say about her she sucks" and more of "I have no idea what you're going on about, but it's annoying so shut up".
At this point, and idk if there's a Jenova-influenced mental block or if Seph is in denial or what--but Sephiroth is not aware of Lucrecia's existence. And honestly, I'd prefer that. Part of the tragedy is that they will never truly meet each other. And Sephiroth is so arrogant and insane that he clings to the delusion of Jenova without considering alternatives. Pretty messed up.
#asks#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#sephcanons#crisis core#sephiroth#lucrecia crescent#jenova#vincent valentine#dissidia opera omnia
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What are your ideas on Yutu’s Unique Magic?
Maybe Riddle!Yutu having a countering UM to his father, or Cater!Yutu having one that allows him to see the true in people, etc, etc…
Also, what if Yutu has a sister/brother back in his OG timeline? Did he bring them with or they just got left behind?
for context, check these posts (1) (2) or look at the Fyuuture kid section under series on my masterlist.
oof I have a lot. Unique magic strikes me as something that is supposed to be reflective of who the mage is as a person as well as the Disney character/concept the boy is based on. Since Yutu is not based on anyone really, we are more free with inspiration for his unique magic, with two exceptions. Idia and Kalim both have lines suggesting that their unique magics are passed down in their family's, though I imagine the incantation is different to each person; it makes sense for their Yutu's to have Gate to the Underworld and Oasis Maker respectively.
Before I really get into the weeds, I do like the idea of Yutu having (a) sibling(s) in the OG timeline, again because that can happen in Fire Emblem Awakening but also because it adds to the angst somewhat. As for whether or not he would bring them back in time, the answer to that is yes. Yutu has a few friends he traveled back in time with that are scattered around Twisted Wonderland with no way to contact each other, and if he had a sibling (with the exception of Malleus! Yutu whose sister is a bit... special) then they would be among that group. If you want some extra angst we can steal even more from FE: Awakening and make it so Yutu's sibling died before he arrived, maybe they turned into a blot monster that follows Grim's overblotted form as a replacement for his hench human.
We could even make it so Yutu's sibling doesn't have any magic, just like Yuu. You know. For the parallels ψ(｀∇´)ψ
Riddle! Yutu
Riddle! Yutu having a magic that counters his dad is such a good concept, especially for someone who initially hates him. There are two types of magic that we have seen counter Off With Your Head: Trey's Doodle Suit and a strong shielding spell used by Leona. I can think of a few directions to take this line of thinking, so let's start with the most grounded.
A strong shielding spell, one that can be applied to multiple people, sounds like a spell that thematically fits Yutu. We don't know a lot about how these spells function, but they're important for combat magic and shielding multiple people seems to be implied to be difficult. Let's say in this case it's natural for Yutu and essentially the same for him as shielding himself. This sort of spell feels like it should have a card themed name, Big Blind maybe? It's a term that refers to the minimum bet required to continue a poker game if I understand what I read correctly. The only card game I know how to play is yugioh
The less grounded approach could be a sort of spell that creates an anti magic field… it's a concept I did toy around with mostly because I was thinking about more Alice in Wonderland themed names for a unique magic, and thought up “Everything is Nonsense” or something along those lines. My one sort of caveat to this concept is that I think a spell like this would be heavily stigmatized, probably cause a lot of blot build up for a caster, and I'm uncertain of how it would work mechanically. Well that and I have an idea for a different Yutu who this spell would fit a bit better... but that would require me to cook with a different type of fire.
I did mention in my post about Riddle! Yutu that I liked the idea of his unique magic allowing him to shrink or grow because of Rule 42 in Alice Adventure's in Wonderland saying all people more than a mile high must be rejected from court. If Riddle is the Queen of Hearts, well then any time they argue all Yutu has to do is grow and then he won't be allowed to yell at him any more so there. As a side note do you think this logic could apply to the Chimera in the Prologue? Because I could see that being darkly funny if it comes up in game in that context.
Cater! Yutu
I had a really well thought out idea about Cater being able to see a limited amount into the future before I realized that I was describing the sharingan from Naruto so fuck me I guess.
So just hear me out, you know in twst battles you can see at least one of spells the enemy is going to use? That's sort of what I thought Yuu's unique magic would be if they had it, but I also like the idea of it being Cater! Yutu's. It would function more like an instinct than an actual vision (*clenches fist* just like naruto) but he can use his magic to tell what a person intends to do before they fully think it. Cater is skilled at divination so a unique magic that lets his kid see a little bit of the future feels like it could work for him.
Speaking of divination, I sort of also like the idea of Cater! Yutu having a magic that has something to do with stars and starlight. Maybe he can turn into a void like being made of cosmic energy, similar to how Cater's Split Card is symbolic of his many faces, Yutu's void form could be symbolic of how he feels displaced in the world.
Ace! Yutu
We don't know what Ace's unique magic is (yet) but there are a lot of theories. Time travel, something that steals another person's spell, something related to optical illusions?
I think it would be fun if Ace! Yutu could do something with reflections/mirrors. As in he can reach through mirror and attack, similar to how Hanged Man works in JoJo. The further the distance the more magic it takes, it can also work with things like water but that takes a lot more magic too.
Either that or he's able to travel between mirrors on his own without the dark mirror. That might be a much more difficult thing to do though...
Jade! Yutu
I have a very clear idea for what I wanted to do with Jade! Yutu's magic, but it's a bit complicated to explain because I'm not a physicist.
The basic idea was that Yutu is able to exert magical force on an object, so long as he knows it's exact dimensions and what it is made of. I called it "Crush the Heart" because I wanted both his and Floyd's Yutus to have magic to follow their dad's naming theme. To activate it he has to be looking at where the object should be and picture it in his mind, the more precise the crush the more concentration, control, and magic it takes.
The name could in theory be quite literal, but Yutu isn't quite there yet in his knowledge of biology or magical control.
Floyd! Yutu
Like I said, I want the twin's Yutu's to have a name that is similar to their dad's. Floyd's Bind the Heart uses Kanji that literally translates to "coiling tail"... which I guess is more similar to the magic I gave Jade! Yutu than the "gnawing teeth" that Shock the Heart does, but that magic is supposed to be something that requires calm collected control, which Floyd and his son simply do not have. Still, lets play off that and give Floyd! Yutu a magic that has something to do with shocks and teeth.
I think Floyd! Yutu should have a taunt. Floyd already loves the idea of a good fight, his son is really good at combat magic, and they both talk so much shit that the idea of that literally being his unique magic just sort of works.
Functionally the spell would work similarly to Jamil's, where the person has to look him in the eyes for it to work. The name of the spell could be something like "Reveal the Heart" but that does sound sort of stupid to me so I'm not sold on it. The spell makes a person unable to focus on anyone other than Yutu and wares off after a certain amount of time, it can fail in fashion similar to Riddle's if the enemy mage has a protection spell up.
Azul! Yutu
Another Yutu who I know exactly what I wanted to do with, I got the idea while playing Darkest Dungeon of all things. I feel like it's a bit lame though.
Azul! Yutu can create phantom limbs out of cosmic magic. When he is in octopus form those limbs take the form of human arms, and when in human form they take the form of tentacles. He says when asked that what he is doing is manipulating shadows because he likes to keep people on their toes (or fins take your pick) and he finds it very funny to watch people squirm when they realize there really is no escaping his grasp.
It is a very difficult magic to use, he needs physical strength to use those limbs because they are only as strong as his real ones, so he works out and a lot to make sure he doesn't hurt himself while using it.
Ruggie! Yutu
Laugh With Me is a perfect magic for a hyena to have, and it suits Ruggie's personality really well. Actually... I did write that his Yutu shares his laugh and I think it would be so painfully cute if that extended to his Unique Magic too. Ruggie makes a big deal about how he's kind of a crappy mage, how he has to do a lot of extra work to make up for his low mana pool and poor upbringing. Can you imagine how embarrassed, proud, and awed he would be if his son inherited his spell? That's something only great mages are supposed to have, not little guys like him. Good thing neither Yuu or Yutu care about that huh?
Vil! Yutu
I haven't done a post about Vil! Yutu really beyond this bit about him bonding with Vil, but I did mention what I think his unique magic would be.
I can't find it but I read a myth once about a painter who drew animals with a magic paintbrush that would bring them to life if he gave them two eyes, so he only ever gave them one. I thought it would be neat to have a spell like that and it feels like something that would fit Yutu Schoenheit very well. His magic allows him to create temporary familiars similar to Lilia's bats, bigger creatures take more magic and focus.
I wrote the name for this spell as "Technicolor Dream" since I thought it would be nice for the name of Yutu's magic to nod towards his father's job and his dreams about having his family back.
I have a lot more Yutu's chilling in my inbox, so I'll revisit this topic (lilia! yutu has a whole ask about his um that I really like) once we are done with round 2 of Yutu posting.
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Hi! I finally read HDWTOTL after seeing the cover art submissions on my dash for days. I won’t be emotionally the same ever again. Thank you, genuinely. But anyway, I was wondering if I could get some general writing advice?
I haven’t ever finished a story, and my problem is this: I can’t propel it forward. I have ideas for the beginning or middle of a story, but they’re just vague, disconnected scenes or emotions. I can never bring it to an end. And I can’t seem to bring people from location to location in a way that doesn’t feel very awkward.
Sometimes I look back at the writing I’ve done in a day and I realize it’s nearly all dialogue. Is this just my sign to be a screenwriter?
Or is there another angle to telling a story I’m not seeing?
How does one go from being a shit storyteller to a good one?
Thank you❤️
oh my gosh, thank you for reading hdwtotl and reaching out!! and yes, i can absolutely help you out, i'll throw my thoughts + advice down under the cut <3
i've always struggled with exactly what you're describing until relatively recently. i could get the barebone structure of a story down (beginning, end, vague plot points, dialogue-only scenes, etc.) luckily you mentioned you have disconnected emotions as one of the building blocks, which is, imo the most important thing you can have as a writer.
all that writing is is having an emotion and using all the tools in your arsenal to make someone else experience that same emotion.
that's all it is. what you're describing re: pacing and progression are all valid concerns, but i think you should remove that from the equation for now and just focus on what certain plot ideas make you feel, and how to evoke that feeling in others. personally, i struggle with properly explaining myself UNLESS i'm writing fiction. like, i can't tell you what i'm feeling, but i can make you feel the same way, and in the end we're now on the same wavelength. i don't think that's THE way to write, but it's the way i approach it and i couldn't do it any other way.
as to how to grow/push past what you're specifically struggling with: i think what helped me the most to develop myself as a writer is write the world around you. if you saw a sunset over farm hills in late october, how would you describe that to depict the feeling it evoked in you? the chilliness, perhaps spookiness, the beauty WITH the context that it's ushering in darkness, the dying plants, the cows huddling for warmth, the sound of a passing train. both the material and the immaterial work together in tandem in fiction -- what does the narrator sense from both? do that until it becomes second nature; if i see something incredible irl, you best believe my mental typewriter is going nuts. (the bentley scene in chapter 11 of hdwtotl had existed in my brain for MONTHS sentence-by-sentence WITH paragraph breaks before i finally got it down lol)
so if i were you, that's what i'd work on first before trying to bring it bigger picture with a beginning-middle-end as i think your pacing will naturally develop from it as well. what do you see, how do you feel, and how can the reader come away with both of those things without having been where you are themselves. also single scene oneshots to get in some practice translating that to fictional spaces.
good luck, i hope you break past this!! we need more storytellers out there
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sobieski literally threatening to rip off a commanding officer's arm & beat him with it? get 'em baby!
#( * / out of character ; personal. )#yes the context is important to make this make sense#but i feel like . even in verses outside of him being a woof . he still fucking would#this is why decker makes lieutenant before him probably
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Wardrobe Woes
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Yes: there are people who read these comics who don't know much about mdzs. Several are my beloved and supportive friends B'*)#This comic in particular is one that I've been thinking about for a very long time and I'm so happy to finally be here!#I was trying to think about how to explain the social rules of the forehead ribbon and the reason lwj was so upset#and the metaphor of 'it's kind of like wwx accidently undoing lwj's bikini in front of a crowd.' came to mind.#of course there's a bit more to it than that but the point here is that - accident or not - it still embarrasses lwj#wwx doesn't get the entire context behind it (at the time. Now he *does* and it all makes a bit more sense)#But he knows he made lwj upset. He knows he doesn't want to put lwj in another embarrassing situation.#Not after all this. Not after everything. Not after realizing that his desire for friendship might be the kind of desire that ruins lan zha#Love the symbolism of the archery outfits being red during this moment of 'whoops only married couples can do that' moment.#What if we accidental proposed............accidental marriage....accidental kiss the bridegroom....accidental fall in love.#Guess we did inadvertently get the puffy sleeves and bikini outfits in the end.#wwx in an old timey bathing suit is so important to me. I'll die on this hill.#lwj's cute little box is inspired by @lazycranberrydoodles's cute fan art <3 I love it a lot
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imogen: *is known to have suicidal tendencies*
Me, as of late, whenever she shows any glimpse of those suicidal tendencies: NO BITCH YOU STOP THAT!! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!! YOU HAVE TO LIVE MF!! YOU HAVE TO LIVE FOR ME!!
(i love her with my whole entire heart)
#to the point where I’m even getting annoyed with myself#like i have to remind myself hey she’s a character let her go through her storyline this makes sense for her#and it’s like yes I know that is correct but also SHE CANNOT DIE NOT ON MY WATCH#which is a struggle when it comes to imodna cause their respect for each other’s agency truly is all encompassing#and they’re very adamant on permitting the other to die on their own terms and like yes given the context that’s so important#but also#fully not ready for that heartbreak#imodna#southern gothic#imogen temult#laura bailey#critical role#cr#c3#bells hells
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all those people complaining about ao3 getting so much money should hear about this thing called the met gala
#idk just. there are other charities that could use this amount of attention. maybe switch it up every year! it just feels like a big circle#jerk. especially on fucking may day!!! idk like don't get me wrong funding the arts is important but also this money isn't even going to The#Arts™️ it's going to the met while arts programs across the country are getting gutted and artists are starving on the street or forced to#not do art so they can survive. actually you know what? the met gala is a fantastic example of what's wrong about charity culture. making#participation a big spectacle to the point that the recipient is fetishized. also zero engagement with the systemic context that is so#integral to actually addressing what the charity purports to address. like yeah it's 'for a good cause' but what's the actual materialeffect#anyway donating to ao3 is not the same imo it is not nearly such a spectacle and it is a much more grounded project. am i making any sense?#my pain meds haven't kicked in yet and i'm having a hard time breathing. forget thinking lmfao#anyway auth leftists go away this post isn't for you. this is specifically about anarchism#also fuck off with that ao3 disk horse bs! archives are so important and ao3 was specifically created to house the stuff that wasn't allowed#on other platforms. yes that means assholes access the website. those are the symptoms of being in an unmoderated space in a society where#assholes live. that doesn't mean we need to take down ao3#anarchist#met gala#ao3
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watch savedatateam play yakuza 0
#goro majima#majima goro#yes that is nagini from harry potter#yes they called her nigiri#this makes only marginally more sense in context#my art#my doodles#I would separate these but I think the whiplash is important
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Porcelain
yes minutes after my warning I am already posting a snippet. Context? What context? I decided on a quick blurb but if you genuinely have questions/want to know more—send an ask!!!!!
Zinc spends more time with Diana now that she seems cooperative. Diana tries to resist it but she’s so lonely and desperate. She grows to like Zinc, barring the fact that he’s a part of the crew. He tells her about his home and how Marc found him. Diana tells him about the landscape of her home, how it’s really a moon. About architecture and ceramics. She gets choked up. Zinc hesitatingly puts a hand on her shoulder. She tenses but doesn’t pull away. Zinc is paged away into a crew meeting. He leaves awkwardly.
The next day, after Diana gets a batch of seeds to sprout, Zinc brings water in a ceramic bowl. It’s off white, well used with a chip and a few scratches in the glaze, but has an intricate pattern going around the rim. He gives it to her (to drink the water first, which she does in one sitting then regrets because she probably isn’t getting more) to inspect. She tells him it’s a reinforced porcelain and not pure clay. Then she does a deep dive into the ceramic quality and when it was likely made. She flips the bowl around and tracing the ridges with her fingers, getting super into it.
“It’s… charming.”
Diana thumbed the design. “If this was hand painted, it’s really well done,” she said, almost only to herself. “Everything is done in an even coat but—oh.” She stopped twisting the bowl and pointed at a barely noticeable break in the seam of the pattern looping around. She tilted it towards Zinc so he could see.
“What is it?” He leaned in to inspect.
“Misprint. It wasn’t painted; it was stamped. That explains the colour and thinness,” she muttered.
Zinc looked up at her in awe. “You can tell all of that just from looking at it?”
Diana averted her gaze, dropping it back to her hands that were fidgeting with the bowl. “It’s just educated guesswork. I work with clay.” She paused, turning the bowl so that the glaze could catch the light. “Worked with, I guess. The glaze seems kind of cheap, too,” she added before holding out the bowl.
“What?”
“Aren’t you going to take it back?”
“Oh. Um,” he fidgeted. “You can—if you like it, you can keep it.”
Diana lowered her arm. “Where would I keep it?” She said after a beat. “Just take it,” she said forcefully, placing the bowl on the floor with care and turning away.
“Diana—“
“Don’t,” she snapped. “Just… don’t,” she whispered. She pulled away and settled by the wall in such a way that the chain linked above rested on the ground to her right, between her and Zinc.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
Diana said nothing, keeping her back to Zinc, despite the voice in her head screaming to turn around.
“...If you keep… cooperating… Marc will probably let you off the chain, you know.” Diana tensed. “You could be a part of our crew.”
“What makes you think I’d want that?” She spat, still refusing to look at him. “What makes you think that the moment I’m free, I wouldn’t get the hell off this prison?”
Zinc gasped. “Don’t say that!”
She finally looked at him over her shoulder and chuckled humourlessly. “Or what? I can’t believe…” she trailed off as she turned away again.
His gaze darkened. “You know if she hears you talk like that you’ll be stuck like this.” Zinc shook his head and sighed, “I don’t understand what would be so bad if you just joined us.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said darkly.
Zinc looked up, exasperated. “Yeah, I think I have some idea. You think I’m oblivious to what’s going on? You already told me what happened to your moon. Marc told the whole crew about the deal.” His voice quieted. “And… I run the security systems on the ship… I’ve seen the cameras.”
Diana was mortified to feel ashamed, and tried to drown out that burning emotion with a wave of fury.
“You—”
“Your home is gone. At least here, you could have a new life. It really isn't so bad, and maybe you could even go off the ship someday and help Zeyver get plants or even work with clay again! You could have real friends here. Family, even.”
Diana whipped around. Zinc flinched back at her eyes, bright with tears.
“How dare you?” She started in a raspy voice. “My home isn’t gone and my family isn’t—they’re not—my real friends aren’t—” her voice broke off into a sob. She dropped her head into shaking hands, gasping between sobs. It hurt because he was right, she thought. She was well and truly alone.
Her breathing hitched, body tensing at the sensation of something wrapping around her.
Zinc was hugging her.
She hated it. Hated him. She wanted him to let go.
She was desperate. Pathetic.
Diana tried to relax into the hug but, “You knew…” she sobbed.
“I voted against it, at first," he said into her hair. "But then… I didn’t know. I should’ve gone with instinct.”
“You knew…” she repeated, again and again.
“Shh,” he soothed, running a hand down her back. It felt like bugs were crawling after his hand.
Despite all the noise in her head, she leaned into his touch.
She was aware of every point of contact—it felt like knives, even though he was barely touching her. She couldn’t remember when was the last time someone held her without throwing a punch afterwards. The thought tightened the coil in her stomach.
Zinc was beginning to shake. Or, more likely, she was.
“Are you okay? Sorry, stupid question—” he began to pull away.
“No—” Diana choked out, and promptly clicked her mouth shut, face aflame. Her damaged hand was gripping his sleeve. Zinc’s eyes dropped to it and she let go as though it too was aflame.
Oh, she was truly pathetic now. Begging for a hit—
“You want me to… hug you?” It was a statement phrased like a question, but Diana only clenched her jaw tighter, willing the tears in her eyes to stop streaming, willing her body to stop begging for touch and distance at the same time—willing herself to stop being difficult.
“Is that a no?” He asked slowly. Diana stayed still. His eyes scanned her and she suddenly felt much too exposed, too vulnerable.
Gently, he raised the arm she was gripping moments earlier. Her eyes darted to it and he stopped.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask before,” he said, looking at her face even though her eyes were pinned on his hand. “I wasn’t—I wasn’t trying to make you cry and I didn’t know what to do.” He tilted his head slightly. “Did you like it?”
No, she wanted to say. She hated it and hated him.
She was beginning to hate herself. She wanted comfort, even if it was from the very people who held her like a beast.
But she couldn’t say yes, because his touch felt like bugs crawling and knives pressing. It felt like the moments between Amsok’s punches, except then, she knew she would be hit.
I am truly broken now, she thought and felt her eyes well with more tears.
Zinc’s own eyes widened, settling into a look of worry. “I’m going to hug you now. If you say no, I’ll stop, okay?”
Diana wanted to move, to at least nod, or even shake her head, but was terrified to realize she couldn’t move. Her muscles locked and she could only close her eyes as she saw Zinc hesitatingly lean in.
She shuddered as his arms wrapped around her, landing like moths.
He didn’t rub her back. He stayed as still as though she were made of glass and wouldn't risk breaking her. She felt his breath on her shoulder. It could have been peaceful.
Diana could only tolerate it for a couple of minutes. Zinc’s arms gradually felt as though they were growing tighter and his breathing was getting too loud and it’s been too long since—she jerked her head to the side.
“Di—”
“No,” she said. “No no no—”
Zinc let go instantly. “Okay! Hey, it’s okay.” He raised his hands in a placating gesture.
She took a deep breath, ignoring how much colder she suddenly felt. She held her left hand tightly with her right hand, focussing on the pain radiating through the metal, up her arm instead. She exhaled sharply through her nose and shut her eyes as fire flamed through her blood. She kept the pressure until her heart stopped racing.
Diana opened her eyes, blinking to clear her vision, and was startled to see Zinc still sitting in front of her.
“Why—” she cleared her throat, “—why are you still here?”
Zinc shifted self-consciously. “To… make sure you were okay.”
Diana took in a long breath. “Don’t say that,” she said at length.
He frowned. She sighed again.
Diana broke the silence when neither spoke for a minute.
“What do you want from me?” She whispered.
“Nothing,” he answered immediately, but she just shook her head.
Before Diana could disagree, Zinc’s communicator began to buzz and flash. He jumped up, stuttered out an apology for startling her again and another for having to leave so abruptly, and ran down the far hall.
Alone in the main cabin, Diana breathed a sigh of relief. Slowly, the tension bled out of her muscles and she curled up on the floor, spent. It wasn’t long before the darkness of the cabin and hum of the core lulled her to sleep.
~~~
Thanks for reading :))
#diana#zinc#whump#mention of torture#abuse#touch aversion#captivity#angst#ok now for some bonus feature context that you may want to have#Diana has a implanted** metal wrist that has metal rods merging into her metacarpals and then the radius and ulna in the forearm#it hurts like a bitch because that type of metal suppresses her abilities (yes she is a mage!#they just nerfed her so bad bc they just want her as a gardener and light source... then entertainment in the future...)#TRUUUUST it makes SENSE if you look into all the lore and bg in my brain#i have things written down informally but i only really want to post genuine chapter like bits unless info is requested in an ask#important character trait about Zinc: mans is a NEEEERDDDD point and laugh at the nerd!!!!!!! he's an awkward mf. no rizz.#honestly a miracle he even hugged Diana that first time#their relationship is p messed up lol bc Diana is essentially a slave for the crew lmao#Zinc kinda sees Diana as a kindred soul. wants to be friends. maybe even something more. but mostly friends#Diana just wants out and she is very hurt ((:#you may be noticing a trend if you peer into my brain#namely that 90% of my ocs are a complicated breed of touch averse#this says nothing about me whatsoever
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Hey Dr. Tingle, I understand where you're coming from, it sucks that people are so irony-poisoned that they don't understand that your work comes from a place of true passion.
But I am wondering - are your book premises meant to be taken entirely seriously? Because I always thought that the titles and images, while not *bad*, where meant to be read with a sort of lighthearted comedy, like the titles you pick and the contrastive style of your art seems like intentionally sort of amusing in tone and rhythm? Is that correct, or completely off base? Because I do feel like that's where people get primed to read more of a joke into some of these things than maybe was intended, and I think that it's true for the people who do take the writing seriously that they find the context a little amusing, also, and I don't know if that's on or off the intended track from your perspective.
Hope that makes sense! I don't want to come across as rude or anything
yes my books premises are meant to be taken entirely seriously.
i would say tinglers fall into genre of magical realism and erotica. i do not think of them as comedy although i understand that many, if not THE VAST MAJORITY of buckaroos see them that way. that said i often lean into comedy or have funny moments throughout, but honestly that is the way of almost ALL stories. funny things happen in every genre, but that does not make all stories comedy.
to my trot, what defines something as COMEDY is intent. the goal of comedy is to make you laugh. my main goal with tinglers in NOT to make you laugh, so i do not consider them comedy.
HOWEVER it is important to keep in mind that i am not the expert on my art just because i made it. if a buckaroo laughs at tinglers they are not wrong. it is just as much their art as it is mine, and my interpretation is not the END ALL BE ALL. just because i made a piece of art does not mean i know it better than you do, or that my opinion on it is more valid.
tinglers can be whatever you want, and i am not hurt or offended if you laugh at them. that difference in perception is whats so beautiful and powerful about art.
i think a good way to look at what i do is this: i am an absurdist PHILOSOPHICALLY, but absurdism is so often associated with comedy that sometimes buckaroos who do not know about the philosophy can think they are the same thing. something being absurd does not automatically mean it is meant to be funny. my art is also joyful, and i think joy and humor can also be confused sometimes.
all that is to say, laugh all you want buckaroo. you prove love is real in your own unique way
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🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨
Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩
work by astrobydalia
Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.
Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment
Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down
In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)
Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn
80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...
Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately
Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.
We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.
Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.
^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them
The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho
I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution
Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭
Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house
Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love
A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry
We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated
You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them
Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.
If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual
Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot
Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner
People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos
I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is
Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭
Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense
+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion
+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret
If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely
Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion
Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature
virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...
Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously
Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.
My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)
I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.
I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭
One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it
Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently
Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.
Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true
Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand
I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)
work by astrobydalia
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Some of this might sound intentionally hostile in text and I apologize.
I'm saying this as an abuse survivor mind you - don't throw "abusive ships" under the bus so easily - at least, so long as they're not actually glamorizing the abuse. I lived that irl and I personally find someone overcoming it, slowly having enough of that bullshit and getting out over time, and the other person having to wipe their own butt for once after they've made the damn mess, very refreshing. Maybe that's not a ship in the traditional sense. It's no happily ever after bc it shouldn't be, but I find stories like mine shyed away from so often because even the portrayal gets considered a "canon ship". ... that's just how media works now, I guess? I very rarely See a fictional relationship not called a ship in literally any context now so that's the definition I'm running on.
I wish more people were willing to portray the hardships of finding acceptance outside of "whoever you can find will accept you" very much, and finding the better things after. I wish people weren't terrified out of portrayimg situations like mine.
Jessie.. is not a good person in canon. You expect me to believe she moved into to hanamusa seamlessly, without falling on her ass? I never see you talk about Jessie's abusive tendencies in canon. You never talk about the inherent meanness she needed to get over to get there. She's quite aml lot like my ex in canon, actually.
What do you mean you're going to just remove from the character that she is abusive to those around her. Jessie hits people. She takes her own junk out on others all the time. Do you even like the character then, are you actually invested in her growing, or are you just making an OC at this point?
Idk. Do you, boo. But you are posting about a character who, whether you like it or not, is canonically abusive. I just don't buy that dating Ash's mom alone fixed her. That isn't... How that works. It would be excellent if it did. Part of my love of hanamusa is that it signals Jessie's change - but she could have changed for anyone before now.
What makes Delia different? How is she specifically a turning point for Jessie? Because Jessie's flaws go well beyond just bossing people around.
I would love if my abuser had the same outcome as your Jessie. I adore your portayals of hanamusa, where she's still flawed but still strives to do better. That's all I ever wanted from my ex.
What the fuck got her there tho.
Anyways I've been watching a lot of Bojack Horseman lately -
I agree with you! I don't think abusive relationships (or any tough subject matter in general) should be shied away from in media. It can be powerful when executed well and written by folks who are equipped to tell those kinds of stories. I do think it's sad when people treat it as off limits. But the ask I got was definitely more about which ships I have where I actually like the relationship between the characters. I think the semantics of the word "ship" are kind of vague or rather, over time, got so specific to only mean "absolutely love together and want them as endgame" (for most people anyways). So that's usually what I take the word to mean when people ask me about it.
I can 100% appreciate how an abusive relationship is written and handled, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna ship an abuser with their victim (that falls into the glorifying you're talking about). Love Bojack Horseman! Big fan! I think the way they handled Bojack and Sarah Lynn was beautifully and tragically well written. But does that mean I ship Bojack and Sarah Lynn? Absolutely fucking not.
I've talked about Jessie's character plenty on this blog and the way she's handled in earlier seasons specifically. This is kind of a summary: If we look at it on surface level, yes we can say she was abusive. But I think it's important to acknowledge and take into account the medium, time period and culture. Slapstick and cartoon violence was HUGE in anime and animation in the 90s (and prior to that too). Characters were always cartoonishly slapping each other around with giant mallets, folding fans, etc. Looney Tunes style. These slapstick bits were always distinct from real abuse and hurt (for Pokémon, Jessiebelle comes to mind). Mean slapstick wasn't a character trait exclusive to Jessie either. We saw it in Misty, James, Meowth, characters of the day and pretty much any character who got mad. It was a visual shortcut to show anger.
This type of slapstick has since (thankfully) died out and it hasn't really been a part of the Pokémon franchise since the early 2000s. However, Jessie was a notably special case. One of my favorite fun facts about the Pokémon anime is that there was a point in the series where Megumi Hayashibara (Jessie/Musashi's seiyuu) told the writers that moving forward, she no longer wanted Jessie to be violent or to be shown hitting James or Meowth (source: her memoir "The Characters Taught Me Everything"). She thought it directly went against the vision Takeshi Shudo had for Jessie, James and Meowth, when he created them, which was that they are good natured villains. If you watch from DP and on, Jessie never lays a hand on either of them. I think it was a such a good move on Pokémon's part to change her character like that and I'm forever grateful that Hayashibara said something! Whenever I write Jessie now, I always keep that in mind. She's mean, shouty and stupid but would never genuinely hurt those she cares about.
From then, her character becomes much more bearable. She's still bossy, mean and vain (typical cartoon villainess attributes) but I'd hesitate to say abusive. She'll still yell at James and Meowth, they all yell at each other, but in more of a sibling way (imo) rather than a "i'm actively trying to hurt your feelings way". The show makes a point especially in later seasons to show that Jessie, James and Meowth are not beyond being redeemed. From conception the whole POINT of the Team Rocket trio was that they are redeemable but their persistence and obsession keeps getting in the way of them seeing that there's a better life for them out there.
I won't deny that Jessie was unsavory in earlier seasons, but when I write her, I choose to write the version that Takeshi Shudo and Megumi Hayashibara had envisioned from the get go. She's still incredibly flawed and makes plenty missteps but wants to be better as you stated! My favorite part about Jessie is that she's a piece of shit LOL and I enjoy writing the changes she goes through to be better (but then still showing her default so some of her evil tendencies). In this AU, Delia doesn't fix Jessie. Jessie fixes Jessie because she is with someone makes her want to be a better person. She's already in the middle of turning over a new leaf before even meeting Delia, after leaving Team Rocket. Writing Jessie as legitimately abusive I think could work, but that's not my story to tell and if someone who were more equipped to tell that story did, I'd be very interested to take a listen!
I hope this doesn't come off as trying to deny or invalidate your experience. If you see that in Jessie, I hear you! This is just how I've interpreted her character over the years, having watched every episode of Pokémon and reading Japanese interviews from the cast and crew. She's such a compelling character and I love how messy she is
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what bugs me most about the pjo show is that i know they could’ve done better. i knowwwww they could’ve been as faithful as they wanted to the books. for anyone saying “oh, but it’s an adaptation! it isn’t meant to be the same so stop whining that they took stuff out or that they’re adding things in different order!” well yes, i agree that adaptations aren’t meant to be a carbon copy of the source material for the simple fact that it’s adapting the source material into a different medium (television), yet it’s just that! a form of adapting the things that are unable to be channeled from, say, a book—or on the contrary, adding things that make sense for television but couldn’t be channeled into the books otherwise…all of this in a faithful manner. a good adaptation is one that stays true to the source material by properly adapting its themes, characters, symbolism, context, pacing, and the overall story/plot so as to not only be seen as a sort of love letter to the fans, but also to reach a wider audience.
just look at the hunger games! the movies are so faithful to the books to the point that most of the scenes are taken straight out of the books, dialogue and all. and they’re movies, aka less runtime than a freaking tv show and they still did it better. did the hg movies have to take a few scenes out? yes; they have only so much time to tell the story as it is told in the books. did they resume things, like the games themselves? also yes. but did most of the important scenes and character moments stay in the movies? also also yes. again, THESE ARE MOVIES!!!!! a medium much more limited than a freaking tv series with multiple episodes that have enough run time to add even more scenes from the books than what could be possible in a 2 hour (max) movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yet they STILL changed so much that rly had no business being changed other than that the writers decided they felt like it because…..a lot of it im not even sure. and the worst thing of it all is that freaking rick riordan took part in script writing yet so much of the source material has been watered down???? they make a whole ass episode about a monster fight with the majority of the scenes from said episode not even present in the books instead of sticking to the perfectly good source material???? and by doing so they delete the small details that are very much integral to character development and plot???? huh???? the math isn’t mathing. don’t get me wrong, i do like some changes, but then i think: at what cost do they add these things when there was a perfectly good narrative without it? like, at what cost do we get the whole turning to gold sacrifice scene if they’re gonna take out all the fun details that make the lightning thief the lightning thief? for example the silly water park merch and then annabeth displaying her spider phobia and her mortification at going to the thrill ride of love with percy and then being broadcasted to olympus. this is just one episode, but they’ve been doing it in all of them. and u know, it’s not that i don’t hate-hate most these changes. again, what bugs me is that this was supposed to be a faithful adaptation. again, it’s a tv series, with so much more time to develop everything from the books. rick is behind it, who apparently hated the movies for how unfaithful they were. the cast is great. and yet…the script is so mediocre. the spark is lost. character traits are looked over in place for weird pacing and even weirder changes. if the hunger games could do it, then surely a pjo tv series could as well? apparently not? i really really Don’t Get It.
#pjo adaptation#pjo tv show#pjo tv crit#i wanted to Not Talk about the show but i have so much to say#i’ve given up i’ll keep ranting
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I genuinely believe that at least part of the reason we're seeing so many people look at older media as "pretentious," is because nobody's teaching it or providing resources to learn about it properly, in a way that's accessible to all.
If you try to sit down and read Ye Olde Classic Lit because you've been told it's Important To Read, but you have zero tools for understanding the archaic language and necessary historical context, of course it's going to feel weird and outdated and pretentious.
Of course you're going to gravitate towards things written in a style and tone that more closely resembles your own modern language--there's a reason for the popularity of things like "No Fear Shakespeare" and "OMG Shakespeare" that translate older literature into modern references and slang (and, yes, emojis). If you aren't taught how to read older literature (or how to watch older films, etc., etc.), then it's not going to make sense!
We don't have an inborn ability to understand language we've never encountered. We need context and touchstones, and if we don't know how to find them, of course we're going to seek out something where the touchstones are more obvious. Of course we're going to feel alienated when people tell us we Have To Read The Thing because it's a Cornerstone Of Culture, but we don't have the tools to understand it. Nobody likes being made to feel stupid and small because they haven't been given the tools to understand a piece of literature.
Incidentally this is why I think Dracula Daily is one of the best things to happen to foster genuine learning and literary analysis in recent memory. People are having fun, because they've been given something to connect with and an accessible way to do it. People are coming together to share their own knowledge and interpretation and associations and ideas. Knowledge is being passed on. New interpretations are coming together. It's fucking awesome. More of this, please.
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2112 Days | Ao3 link
tw: memory loss
When Steve wakes up in the morning, he doesn't know where he is. The last thing he remembers from the night before is the party all piled up in his living room, everyone too anxious to sleep, and now he's in a bedroom that he has absolutely no memory of.
He looks around the unfamiliar room, tries to get a sense of what the fuck is going on, and on the nightstand next to him, he finds a tape recorder sitting on top of a photo album. On the tape recorder is a sticky note, with the words 'play me' written across the yellow paper in scratchy handwriting.
Steve is so confused and frustrated, he doesn't have time for this, they have a plan to carry out. But something deep inside him keeps him in place. Tells him to play it. He picks up the device and sees another note on the album, this one reading 'open me', and he presses play on the tape recorder before grabbing the book.
There's a little bit of sound fuzz before a voice says "Good morning, Stevie!" and Steve blinks, because that's Eddie's voice.
"Today is Saturday, August 29th, 1992, and it's been 5 years, 9 months, and 12 days since we killed Vecna and closed the gates permanently."
Steve's hand jerks out and stops the tape, his breathing picks up because what the fuck? That can't be right, they're supposed to fight Vecna today. That's why they all stayed at Steve's house. One more sleepover, one more chance to be there for each other before they have to split up, before they have to finish the job.
He takes a moment to just breathe, lets the words sink in as he opens the photo album. It takes him a second to realize it, but the first picture is of himself, in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped around his head and a tube down his throat. He looks bad, and he doesn't remember a single second of it.
There's more of that scratchy writing just below it. ‘November 20, 1986. Taken by one of Owen’s guys.’ The next page has a doctor's report, and Steve sees the words 'brain injury' and 'short term memory loss' before he continues.
He flips through the album, sees more pictures of himself that he doesn't remember being taken. Each one has a date next to it, and some have a little description to give him context. There are photos of him with the party, with Robin and Eddie and Nancy, and there are news articles scattered amongst them, important things he should remember, that make his head hurt when he tries too hard to do so.
There are pictures of Nancy and Robin's graduation from college, Wayne's wedding to some woman named Cynthia, the grand opening of Jonathan and Argyle's pizza shop.
A photo of him and Eddie, wearing tacky sweaters and kissing under mistletoe, with the description '1987, Our first Christmas together', and oh, that's something that sends tingles up his spine. He'd had more than a crush on Eddie before their second run in with Vecna, but he hadn't had the courage to do anything about it before they ran head first into danger, again.
Are he and Eddie together now? Like, together together?
The answer seems to be yes, because the next few pages are just more photos of him and Eddie, most taken by Eddie himself, his arm stretching out to capture the moment. Pictures of their first apartment, multiple anniversaries, the day they got their cat (Lucy is written next to this one in Steve’s handwriting, along with a little heart).
And then a photo that makes Steve's heart stop. It's them again, standing on a beach, hand in hand as they face each other. They're both barefoot, wearing slacks and nice shirts, Eddie's a deep, wine red, and Steve's a soft baby blue, and the love on their faces is blinding.
The description says 'June 15, 1991, Our wedding. Not legal, but very, very real.'
And Steve looks at his hand, for the first time sees the gold ring on his finger, like it's perfectly happy at home there, and he thinks he might start crying.
On the bottom of the page is his own handwriting, a small addition that just says 'play the tape.' Steve glances over, presses play again with a shaky hand, and Eddie's voice starts up once more.
"You got pretty banged up during the fight, and your many knocks to the head finally caught up with you. You have some extensive brain trauma, and your short term memory is basically non-existent.
"It's okay, though. You're not alone, you've got tons of people that care about you, baby. The Upside Down stuff is all over, there haven't been any blips on the radar or anything. The kids are all okay - scattered to the wind, but okay.
"Robin's in town today, we're meeting her for lunch at noon, but you've got plenty of time before then. Finish looking through the album, and as soon as you're ready, come find me in the house. Just follow the sound of music, baby. I love you."
The tape ends, and Steve takes a minute to process. He flips through the rest of the album, pictures dated all the way up to a month ago, when he and Eddie had apparently visited Nancy in New York.
It hits him that this is real, this is his reality. He looks at the tape recorder, thinks that this must be an everyday thing for Eddie, and he's suddenly overcome with emotion for the other man.
He climbs out of bed and grabs the tape recorder before he heads out of the room, hears music coming from somewhere, and follows it to a kitchen.
And there's Eddie, with his hair pulled up into a messy bun, wearing sweatpants and humming along to the tape that's playing on a nearby stereo. There are more tattoos inked into his skin, more piercings in his ears, and Steve can see that yeah, he has aged a little.
"Eddie?" he says softly, and the older man turns to look at him with a bright smile.
"Morning, Stevie. How are you feeling today?"
Overwhelmed, Steve thinks, but he swallows hard and holds up the tape recorder. "Do you record these for me every day?"
Eddie's smile softens at the question and he motions Steve closer. "You ask me that too often, like you just can't believe I'd do something like that for you."
Steve goes over to him, sets the device on the counter as one of Eddie's hands settles on Steve's waist, the other moving up to cup his cheek. "I can't believe it, it's so-" Kind? Selfless?
Steve doesn't have the proper word to describe it, and it only adds to that overwhelmed feeling. Eddie's thumb strokes over his cheekbone and he hums softly.
"It's worth it for you, sweetheart. After all the shit we’ve been though, that you’ve been through, you deserve a normal life, and I swore do everything in my fucking power to make sure that happens."
And Steve is definitely crying now. The fact that Eddie has been doing this for almost six years, that he's stayed by Steve through it and hasn't given up on him? The effort he’s put into helping Steve feel somewhat normal? It's too much for Steve to comprehend, and Eddie pulls him into a tight hug, mutters softly softly into his ear as he starts to sob.
"I know, baby. It's okay."
They stay like that for a while, until Steve's tears slow, then stop, and he's able to breathe normally again. "Sorry," he mutters and scrubs a hand over his face, and Eddie shakes his head.
"Don't apologize, Steve. This happens sometimes, and it's perfectly okay. It's a lot to process all at once, and we just take it a day at a time, yeah?"
"Yeah, okay," Steve says, and takes another deep breath. He thinks back to the album, to the photos of him and Eddie, and he knows exactly what he wants in this moment. "Will you kiss me, please?"
And Eddie smiles, says "Of course, honey."
It feels right when Eddie kisses him, and it's weird, because he doesn't remember ever kissing Eddie before now, but it's like his body does, like it knows all of the steps to this dance that his brain can't remember.
They stay in the kitchen for a while just kissing and talking, Eddie answering all of Steve's questions with such patience, until it's time to go meet Robin.
-
Later that night, just as Steve is dozing off, he feels Eddie pull away before getting out of the bed.
"Where 're you goin'?" he mutters, and Eddie cards a hand through his hair.
"Gotta go record your tape for tomorrow. Just go back to sleep, baby."
Steve hums his disapproval and hears Eddie chuckle, before a kiss is pressed to his forehead. "I'll see you in the morning, gorgeous."
-
When Steve wakes up in the morning, he doesn't know where he is.
#i love 50 first dates and brain-injury-haver steve so i combined them together#they live in a tiny queer beach side town#and everyone knows steve and his condition#and they're all super supportive and helpful#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#steddie fic#stranger things#joey writes#2112 days
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