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philsrosesweatshirt · 2 months

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hello (one of the) resident phannie data analyst(s) here with some parasocial stats on dnp’s movie tastes! following: distribution of dan and phil's ratings overall, movies they each rated 5 stars, their lowest-rated movies, and the similarities + differences in their tastes

(lore moment: yes i am a data analyst in my real job. yes i surprised myself with wanting to do this in my spare time. but then i remembered when we read dracula in college (yes i was an english major) and i graphed like, how many times dracula was referred to as vampire versus monster or something. so i shouldn’t be surprised.

first up, their overall rating patterns and by ~special status~ (i.e., wall-e, kill bill, avatar, lmao, plus big hero 6 for the fun of it)

dan’s rated 304 movies and phil’s rated 305. both of them have mean and median ratings of 4 with min 1 and max 5.

both rated kill bill vols. 1 and 2 a 5. wall-e got a 4.5 from dan and a 4 from phil (phake phans). both gave avatar a 3.5. and big hero 6 3.5 (dan) and 4.5 (phil)

rating distribution:

i did analyses here by genre but i need to fix the output (i’m writing all of these based on the markdown document from my phone on the subway, but i need to fix the outputs and i don’t have my computer. so those are pending but there are other genre analyses that i could do & haven’t yet!)

while i was sorting through the data i got the impression that dan overall rated movies higher than phil. so, among movies that they've both rated, here's some information

number of movies dan rated higher than phil: 65

Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Nightmare Before Christmas, Toy Story, Phantom Mence, Donnie Darko, Attack of the Clones, Finding Nemo, Oldboy, The Notebook, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, WALL-E, (500) Days of Summer, Up, The Hangover, Drive, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Life of Pi, Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Whiplash, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Room, The Hateful Eight, The Force Awakens, Manchester by the Sea, Deadpool, La La Land, Moonlight, Rogue One, Call Me By Your Name, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Wonder Woman, Spider-Man: Homecoming, I, Tonya, Thor: Ragnorak, Phantom Thread, Roma, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Toy Story 4, Midsommar, Ad Astra, Knives Out, Soul, The Green Knight, No Time to Die, Don't Look Up, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Turning Red, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, Glass Onion, Beau is Afraid, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

number of movies phil rated higher than dan: 55

Star Wars (New Hope), Blair Witch Project, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Ocean's Eleven, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moonrise Kingdom, Iron Man 3, Gravity, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Imitation Game, Nightcrawler, John Wick, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Jurassic World, The Martian, The Revenant, Nocturnal Animals, Split, Get Out, Baby Driver, The Disaster Artist, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, The Greatest Showman, The Last Jedi, Ready Player One, Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Rocketman, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Joker, The Rise of Skywalker, The Invisible Man, A Quiet Place Part II, Greenland, Tenet, Malignant, Eternals, The Matrix Resurrections, Scream (2022), Nope, Prey, Talk to Me, Avatar: The Way of the Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

number of movies they rated the same: 99!

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Se7en, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Spider-Man, Lost in Translation, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Mean Girls, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men, The Dark Knight, Pontypool, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Black Swan, The Social Network, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook, The Conjuring, Snowpiercer, Her, Thor: The Dark World, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Boyhood, It Follows, Guardians of the Galaxy, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Interstellar, Ex Machina, The Witch, Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Inside Out, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Your Name., Arrival, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, mother!, It, Blade Runner 2049, Hereditary, Black Panther, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Captain Marvel, Us, Avengers: Endgame, Parasite, It Chapter Two, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems, 1917, Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Dune, Last Night in Soho, The Batman (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once, X, The Northman, Top Gun: Maverick, Bullet Train, Barbarian, Pearl, M3GAN, Dungeons and Dragongs: Honor Among Thieves, Evil Dead Rise, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., No Hard Feelings, Saltburn, Priscilla, Society of the Snow, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

i didn't analyse this by genre or anything, but i could -- so if you're interested lmk!

the 5 movies with the most different ratings between dan and phil

- Iron Man 2 (dan: 2, phil 3.5)

- The Greatest Showman (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Malignant (d: 3, p: 4.5)

- Scream (2022) (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Beau is Afraid (d: 3, p: 1.5)

Interesting that even though dan has more higher rated movies, 4/5 of these ones phil rated higher.

next, their 5-star movies

dan's five stars: 80

Alien, Empire Strikes Back, ET, Blade Runner, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Nightmare Before Christmas, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Toy Story, Fargo, Scream, The Fifth Element, Hercules, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Fight Club, Magnolia, The Emperor's New Groove, Donnie Darko, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, Oldboy, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Tree of Life, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Under the Skin, Whiplash, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sicario, The Hateful Eight, La La Land, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, First Man, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Midsommar, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

phil's five stars:

Star Wars (New Hope), Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, Arrival, Dunkirk, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator, Little Miss Sunshine

overlap: 39

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick

& their lowest rated movies...

dan: matrix resurrections (1) , thor: the dark world (1.5), the rise of skywalker (1.5)

phil: crimes of the future (1), attack of the clones (1.5), thor: the dark world (1.5), don’t look up (1.5), the matrix resurrections (1.5), doctor strange in the multiverse of madness (1.5), beau is afraid (1.5), black bear (1.5)

not even chris hemsworth could save thor the dark world, i guess (kat dennings, though…)

movies they logged on the same date:

note that this is like, non-exhaustive, because this is only based on their diaries that list the date. i think in reality they've watched most of these movies together. frequently dan logged a couple days after phil which aren’t shown here. procrastination queen

Pontypool, Eternals, The Northman, Nope, Barbarian, The Banshees of Inisherin, Glass Onion, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Beau is Afraid, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Saltburn, Poor Things, Priscilla, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

movies that one logged and not the other:

dan but not phil: 85

The Exorcist, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Schindler's List, Fargo, Romeo & Juliet, Hercules, Men in Black, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Mummy, The 13th Warrior, Fight Club, The Emperor's New Groove, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Legally Blonde, Monsters, Inc, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Scooby-Doo, 28 Days Later, Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, School of Rock, Matrix Revolutions, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Revenge of the Sith, The Devil Wears Prada, Borat, Casino Royale, No Country for Old Men, Death Proof, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, There Will Be Blood, Tropic Thunder, Slumdog Millionaire, Moon, District 9, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The King's Speech, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Tree of Life, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, Argo, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, World War Z, Pacific Rim, Under the Skin, 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, The Babadook, The Lego Movie, x-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Theory of Everything, Green Room, Sicario, Spotlight, The Big Short, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange, Hidden Figures, Logan, You Were Never Really Here, Game Night, Isle of Dogs, First Man, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Glass, Hustlers, Pig, Violent Night

phil but not dan: 86

Jaws, The Terminator, Beetlejuice, Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Groundhog Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Usual Suspects, The Frighteners, The Sixth Sense, Being John Malkovich, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Gladiator, Catch Me if You Can, Elf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Prestige, Zodiac, Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Juno, Lake Mungo, Twilight, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Brave, Evil Dead, The Great Gatsby, Now You See Me, Monsters University, Man of Steel, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club, Edge of Tomorrow, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Boy, Raw, Finding Dory, Suicide Squad, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, John Wick: Chapter 2, Lady Bird, The Ritual, Happy Death Day, Deadpool 2, Ocean's 8, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Bird Box, Booksmart, Crawl, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Platform, Black Bear, Palm Springs, The Empty Man, The Innocents, Titane, Old, Free Guy, The Black Phone, Fresh, Watcher, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Ambulance, Aftersun, Crimes of the Future, Fall, Bones and All, The Menu, Sanctuary, Do Revenge, Smile, Hellraiser (2022), Mr. Harrigan's Phone, Plane, Missing, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI

i’m interested to see how this varies by genre!

miscellaneous non-statistical things that made me parasocially emotional and/or laugh during this process:

they watched nope together on christmas eve 2022 <3

dan rated moulin rouge a 5 <3 nature boy <3

he also rated shrek a 5. of course. (valid).

4.5 from dan and 4 from phil from the notebook

5 from danny for brokeback mountain <3 and a 4.5 from philly

cmbyn, yes, has its issues, but dan rated 4.5 and phil 4

the shape of water got a 4.5 from monsterfucker phil lester (dan gave it a 4)

surprisingly phil rated rocketman higher than dan! surprising because dan liked so many musicals

dan gave hustlers a 3.5. i don't know why i think this is funny, but i do. phil doesn't have it logged or rated, lmao.

a 4 (d) and a 3.5 (p) for barbie!

phil gave twilight a 3. lol.

phil also gave do revenge only a 3.5. tragique.

phil watched a LOT of horror alone in october 2022 (aka while dan was on tour). anyway he's just like me <3

#dan and phil #dnp #phan #dan howell #phil lester #twitter says letterboxd should have been gatekept i say 1) know your phannie history! 2) this is nothing their usernames are so obvious you #think they didn’t know this would be found? be fr!

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onlycosmere · 1 month

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BlackCoffeeBulb: you'll get him sued for copyright infringement for a few useless internet points, congrats

mpkeith : It's free advertising...

"Where did the name Wind Runner come from?"

"Well, there are these amazing books..."

So far (to my knowledge) nobody has been sued for Bridge Four homemade stuff, fan art, 3D printed shard blades and so on.

I really don't think Brandon Sanderson is that kind of guy. Seems to me he's happy to share with all of us his work.

Brandon Sanderson: I have expressly permitted it, in fact. I had a lawyer draw up as liberal a fanart policy as I could make, and not scare away people like film companies. Basically, you can create whatever you want for your personal use, and can even sell some form of fanart so long as you're not using me or implied relationship with me in the marketing.

Do look at the official language in my FAQ, though, as opposed to taking my (flawed) memory on how it works. Either way, no, I'm not going to ever be bothered by individual fan creations, and instead encourage them. And something like this far is a huge mark of respect from the owner, toward me.

gsauce8: So essentially as long as you're not saying something along the lines of "Officially licensed" or anything close to that, you're good to go? That's freaking awesome.

Brandon Sanderson: It's a little more tricky than that--I let the lawyers hash it out. But basically, you can't use our artwork, our branding, and can't say it's official. But you CAN sell art prints of art you made of characters/scenes from the books, even if they include things like Kaladin's scars or a Bridge Four patch. You don't need a license, and you don't owe us anything.

It's a legal grey area that I want to make less grey. I like fanart, and want to encourage it--and in so doing, feel like an artist making something transformative like this should be able to profit from their art. Yes, my books inspired that art--but other books inspired me to write, as did films and artwork. This is how art is created.

Mostly, this applies to thinks like prints right now. (We haven't authorized T-shirts, for example, as that kind of thing gets really tricky with movie deals wanting merchandising rights.) Again, read the exact language on the FAQ, but we've tried to be as lenient here as we can be.

Also, I have no problem with fanfic, so long as it remains in the fan realm, rather than being sold. (But if you write something awesome, and readers like it, I'd encourage you to change the names/setting and rebrand it as your own so you could sell it.)

#the stormlight archive #cfsbf #root #cosmere #words of radiance #brandon sanderson #branderson #wob #kind of #cosmere merch

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alpaca-clouds · 9 months

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The History of Cyberpunk

Or why every other SciFi Genre is called [something]punk

You know what? Let's do this. Because I have seen the discussion on whether or not Solarpunk is "punk" over the last few days and... people really gotta learn their history.

The first time a genre took the "punk" name was Cyberpunk. And for context we gotta talk a bit about the history of the Cyberpunk genre.

While some books that we in hindsight call "Cyberpunk" were released as early as the 1960s, the start of Cyberpunk as a genre got its start in the late 70s and early 80s.

The term was invented by Bruce Bethke, who published a short story in 1983 with the name "Cyberpunk". His idea was to juxtapose the term "punk" for both the mentality and the punk protagonists in his short story with the term cyber, short for the cybernetics they were wearing. And while the cybernetics have become a main stay in the genre, the punk attitudes are not always carried through...

Well, the title Bethke invented stuck, though. When 1984 Neuromancer was published, one of the most influencial works in the early days of the genre, he called it "a Cyberpunk novel" in the marketing. And from there... Well, the genre was suddenly named like that.

The 80s were definitely the decade that had the most influence on the genre, given that a lot of the big novels and graphic novels of the genre were released here.

A big influence was, no doubt, that 1982 the Blade Runner movie had released and had inspired quite a few writers and artists. (And yes, this makes Blade Runner a movie that released not only before the term Cyberpunk was coined, but also before the genre had a chance to define itself.)

Given that the genre was defined in the 80s, there are a lot of 80s anxiety kept within it about the rise of the Japanese economy, that are these days rarely questioned within the western Cyberpunk movement.

When the genre was coined and developed, Japan was the fastest growing economy in the world, being so influencial that they got to buy out several things in America. Something that kinda jerked white people in the US a lot. This is, why Cyberpunk originally depicted not only a capitalist hellscape - but specifically a capitalist hellscape were everything was bought out by Japanese companies, with many of those early antagonists being Japanese companies. And yeah... there was a lot of both anti-japanese racism, but also cultural appropriation of Japanese things in early Cyberpunk, at time surviving to this day. (But that is a story for another day.)

The general sense that Western Cyberpunk had, was always the idea of: We have a capitalist hellscape where the world is slowly dying and people are exploited with no end, while we have those kinda punky protagonists, who stand outside of the society and try to work against it. This being where the punk comes from.

Now, I could talk for length about how a lot of that punky attitude has been lost in more modern Cyberpunk media, but that, too, is a story for another day.

So, let me just talk about what happened then.

The term Cyberpunk really is darn catchy, right? So just when that name took hold, writer K.W. Jeter retroactively called his 1979 novel Morlock Night "steampunk". And guess what: This stuck, too. Though while the 80s Cyberpunk still stuck to the punk attitude, a lot of Steampunk did not. While for certain there is quite a bit of Steampunk that has kinda punky characters go against the quasi Victorian society of steampunk books (something most common in the air pirate novels I have read), a lot of other stories are more focused on a general sense of adventure.

But never the less... The genre names stuck and gave a nice baseline for naming other genre. We got Dieselpunk, Atompunk, Nanopunk, Arcanepunk, Dustpunk, Silkpunk and of course also Solarpunk and Lunarpunk.

And for the most part... The "punk" names mostly communicate: "It is SciFi with this kinda aesthetic/twist going on". Which is just how it turned out.

Funnily enough Solarpunk is for once a genre that brings back the punk, as it tends to include a lot of the ideals aspired to by the Punk counter culture of the 1970s: Anarchism, anti-capitalism, anti-consumerism, anti-classism, anti-racism, anti-colonialism and so on. Though other than with Cyberpunk and the real world punk movement, Solarpunk for the most part imagines a place, where those things are culture instead of counter culture.

I personally find it kinda sad, how for the most part Cyberpunk kinda lost a lot of the counter-cultural, revolutionary mindset. And how fucking defeatist the genre often is.

But again, it is a story for another day. Just as the story of Japanese Cyberpunk is.

#cyberpunk #solarpunk #steampunk #cyberpunk history #western cyberpunk #science fiction #scifi #william gibson #neuromancer #genre history #punk

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tmntxthings · 9 months

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heyy so I literally got this kind of idea like not really long ago, how about a donnie x reader fic/scenario/prompt where donnie makes a new AI hologram assistant (the reader) but ends up falling in love with them ?? (kind of blade runner 2049 inspired)

thanks ! luv your work (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

一∑ Dizzy・゜・。

author’s notes: so this may not be exactly what you asked for, this donnie is a bit… cagey? protective? overbearing! but hopefully the ending is a good indication that he did indeed fall?? :D

warnings: fluff, platonic to romantic, cursing, very unedited, & super short >.<

word association: sentience, slight yandere!donnie, light projection, holograms, creation, possessive, obsessive, fluff, change, feelings

song: “ Round & Round by Selena Gomez ”

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“Y/n”

Donnie waited for you to appear in his vision as he was glued to a new construct. Both hands busy with small tools that required the utmost care and attention. And patience.

He waited a couple of more seconds before a crease appeared between his draw on brows.

Seriously?

“Y/n!”

Donnie shouted louder. There was no way you couldn’t hear him. He was this close to pushing up his goggles but like magic you apparated in his vision. A tiny version of yourself in the corner of his eyesight, “Yyyessss?”

You drawled, dipping forward dramatically but not obscuring his view of his hands so he could continue his work.

“Where are you?”

Habitually it seemed he had to ask you this. He was like this with Shelldon too. But ever since you started getting curious and venturing out of his lab, he just had to at least check in…

He would have just checked your holo-tracker but his hands were busy at the moment. So calling out your name was more efficient. His wrist tech was voice automated and connected to your system easily enough.

“And why did you ignore my first call?”

He questioned further, eyebrows still drawn. His tongue peeked out between his lips as he carefully pieced together two small bits in the right formation.

“I thought we agreed Donnie. If you didn’t need me, I could explore the perimeters!”

You glitched momentarily, moving from the corner to right in the center of his vision before going back to your original place with a raised brow.

“Yes yes. That was the agreement but addendum six was—“

You groaned.

“Y/n it’s been… how long has it been..?”

He just knew it had to be four or so hours since you last checked in. Which meant he could call! As per agreement! If you didn’t check in then he would worry and a time frame was even added into fine print for this very purpose! Donatello prided himself on thinking of every-little-thing!

“It’s been 30 minutes.”

His eyes widened. Looking at you now and squinting.

No way.

You sighed dramatically as you brought up the time. Sure enough. It was only 2:30 in the morning. Not 5.

“Ah, well my mistake.”

Donnie placed down the tools and pushed up his goggles. The zoomed in version of his project gone, as well as the time and your miniature self.

He could still hear you though with his headphones on.

“You didn’t answer my first question…”

He still wanted to know.

“I think that should be void considering you can just check now!”

Your voice was exasperated but it had a teasing quality.

“I’d rather you tell me,”

“With your brothers!”

“What?!”

No response. “Y/n?” No response still. He grumbled bringing his goggles back down and yep, you were gone. He shoved them back up and shot out of his chair.

Two years ago. Donatello went a step further from robots. A step further from Shelldon, definitely still a very proud achievement of his! You were a hologram program. One that connected just like Shelldon to all of Donatello’s devices and gadgets. But you didn’t have a physical body. You were a pure light so to speak. And while Donnie had agreed for you to explore…he hadn’t really disclosed another sentient being in the lab to his brothers.

Selfishly… Donnie had created you solely for him. While Shelldon had been sort of a prank but definitely for his brothers… you weren’t.

“Y/n.” Shelldon whispered harshly as he peeked out of the doorway from his lab. You were nowhere in the vicinity. He scowled. “If this is supposed to be funny, let me be very clear! It is not!” Then Donnie started to rush with his words while he crept further out into the lair.

“Those dumdums have no idea of your existence Y/n! For all we know they could— I don’t know! Attack?!”

You were radio silent. And it annoyed to Donnie to know end. You were ignoring him on purpose. Dragging him away from work to chase you down. And he would do the dragging this time, right back to his side if he must!

The further he went, the more apprehensive he felt. He could hear music. He could hear hollering. It was not the right cues that said ‘Y/n is just pranking me! They wouldn’t reveal themselves without my go-ahead! Surely!’ Yeah none of that was feeling close to happening right now. Donatello’s teeth ground together as he gave up being stealthy in favor of finally seeing what the fuck was happening.

And boy was he in for a shock.

As he cleared a corner that gave him a full view of the arcade that stretched down a distance away. The DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) was on, bass pumping throughout the room. A beautiful voice beckoning him closer like a siren’s song. Where Raph was dancing on one side. And you on the other.

Donnie stopped short. His breath catching as he watched your hologram dance, when your shoes met the correct arrows your whole body took on a glow of purple, blue, red, and yellow. It reflected throughout your entire being. You hit perfect after perfect, head tipped back in laughter as Raph started to trip up, losing his footing and sweating profusely. You on the other hand would never tire.

You were completely energized. You were having fun! It shined in your eyes. It reminded him of how you were when he first created you. When everything he introduced to you excited you.

Donnie felt like such an ass. Keeping you tucked away from the rest of the lair. From his brothers. From the world! As he watched you now he knew he was going to have to change. Because he surely wasn’t letting you go completely. But maybe he needed to loosen up, him and his contract.

Because he wanted you to be like this more. To smile more. To be exuberant and full of life! And he couldn’t stop smiling as you tilted your head towards him. You didn’t falter, you just smiled brighter and winked as the song came to a close and the points were tallied up.

Of course anything created by Donnie would be extraordinary at dancing. Therefore it didn’t surprise him one bit that you received a maximum score of 10,000,000. What did throw him off guard was the rapid pace of his heart. And maybe a bit dizzy? He hadn’t even been the one dancing!

Yeah this wasn’t good!

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milflewis · 9 days

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ok but mob au

“You really didn’t know who I work for?”

When Yuki found out that Pierre’s boss is the Sebastian Vettel, the Lion of Singapore, and the unofficial heir to Schumacher & Co., he had only raised his eyebrows. Pierre took that to mean he had already figured it out.

Yuki blinks at him. “No.”

“But.” Pierre frowns. “Why did you — I always have so many knives on me! Is this not weird to you?” He gestures at his jacket which hangs open, showing four different perfectly sharpened blades tucked into the lining.

Yuki shrugs. “You are French, yes? You like to cut things. Like cheese.”

Pierre mouths wordlessly. Cheese.

“Anyway,” Yuki adds. “You are weird, so. This would not be weird.”

The first time Sebastian meets Lewis, his runners are wet with Michael’s blood and Lewis’s hands are pressing his head into the glass door. His face aches, nose throbbing.

“Can I help you?” he says, or tries to say. It comes out vaguely smushed.

He pushes back a little just to see. Lewis lets him move half an inch before shoving him back.

“Jesus, Hamilton,” Sebastian hears Michael say. His voice cracks roughly. Sebastian nearly cried when the doctor told him Michael survived the surgery, that they got all the bullets out and he was in recovery. He swallows thickly, as the relief makes him all dizzy even now. “I know you got out today but c’mon, let him go. This is Sebastian — I talked about him.”

The hands on Sebastian’s neck disappear and he’s rubbing at his jaw when he turns around. “Ow,” Seabastian tells Michael. His cheeks are pale and his chest is wrapped in white bandages but his eyes are alert and he is grinning.

“Sebastian, this is Lewis Hamilton. Lewis, Sebastian Vettel. Mika says we are all friends here.”

He pats Mika’s ankle that is propped up on the bed beside his hip. Mika’s eyes stay closed, arms folded in his chair, chin on his chest. There are dark bruises under his eyes under now.

“Right. If Mika says so.”

Lewis steps back towards Michael’s bed, grabbing the duffle bag from where it was leaning against the wall. Sebastian looks at his bare arms, the tattoos that go all the way down to his fingers, the rings there. His jeans sit low on his hips. He needs a shave. Sebastian recognises him from his mugshot, even of his hair is longer now and his face is more lined.

They hadn’t had the time to arrange for Michael to share a cell with someone affiliated with them, and when they had got in contact with him, a week later, he had settled in well enough with his cell mate. By Michael standards at least.

Does not talk much, Michael had told Sebastian over the phone. Likes his fucking singing though. Stares at the picture of his dog. Do you think he is lonely?

When Sebastian had brought it up with Mika, the best person for this kind of thing when Corinna is away, Mika had only shrugged, and told him that he doesn’t think it is just Hamilton that is lonely, and that of fucking course anyone who could survive nine weeks in solitary with just Fernando Alonso as company in the next cell over is someone that Michael would find interesting.

Sebastian looks away from the breadth of Lewis’s shoulders in his white tank and pulls a face at Michael’s waggling eyebrows.

“How old do you think I am?” Jenson asks, as Alex adjusts his long-rifle until it sits comfortably against his shoulder, supported by the flat roof they are lying on.

Alex doesn’t answer, because he knows exactly how old Jenson is, and the fact that people continue to tell Jenson to his face that he looks ten years older than his actual age will never stop being funny.

“Ollie, how old do you think I am?” Jenson calls.

“Jen, leave the kid alone,” Alex says. “You could dye your hair.”

“Do I look like a man who would dye his hair solely to stave off questions about his age?”

“Yes,” Alex sweeps the street below them, marking the buildings bracketing the shop they are surveilling. “Ollie, how are you doing over there?”

He can hear him scramble around for a second before a burst of static. “Radio ready for orders, sir.”

Alex grimaces, still not used to that, as Jenson only laughs beside him.

“Michael? We got him.” Eddie leans back against the closed door.

Michael hums, closing his leather notebook. He leaves his fountain pen tucked into the middle so he remembers what month of intakes he was going over.

“Send him in.”

The kid’s hair is long and dirty, falling into his eyes and around his ears. His knees are all busted up under his baggy shorts. His face is drawn and thin, and he is glaring at Michael, jaw clenched.

He goes all pale when he sees who sits in front of him. Seems like he didn’t know whose car it was.

“Jesus,” Michael says. “You’re tiny, how did you reach the pedals?”

This morning, the kid — Sebastian Vettel, Michael had asked around — had hot wired Michael’s car in under two minutes and driven away. Michael had watched from the restaurant’s window, amused and impressed.

Mika had been decidedly less so when Michael told him, ten minutes later, that they were going to have to order a cab.

“I’m not that short!” The glare intensifies. His eyes are kind of freaky, Michael thinks. Very big and bright.

Michael holds out a hand, level with his chest, and squints. He lowers it considerably. Sebastian looks like he wants to bite it.

“Of course not,” Michael tells him soothingly. Eddie gives him a reproachful look. Michael holds back his eyeroll but takes his hand out of reach of Sebastian’s mouth.

“I have a job for you,” Michael says, watching Sebastian’s eyes sharpen. He smiles thinly. “If you’re up for it.”

“A job. For me? What kind of job?” Sebastian tilts his head to the side, making his eyes wide. His curls tumble across his forehead. The whole effect is rather sweet, Michael considers, delighted. This will be interesting.

Mika has been nagging at Michael to stop picking up strays but he thinks he will agree with Michael on this one.

Michael stretches out his back, legs interlocked at the ankles, until something clicks along his spine. He exhales slowly, sinking back into the shitty mattress.

They called for lights out fifteen minutes ago. Lewis is still in the bunk above him. Michael looks at the scratches across the metal rods. He had a good workout today, no interruptions, and his arms are nicely sore.

Seventeen minutes.

Lewis moves in his bed, rolling over to the right and for a moment, Michael thinks he will roll right off the edge, but then he is swinging down, silent. Michael holds himself very still.

"I am not interested in fucking."

"Yeah," Lewis says. "I heard."

Michael swallows. The sharpened edge of Lewis's plastic spoon presses into his throat. Lewis is dense and solidly heavy, knees on either side of his hips, one foot digging into his knee.

Michael has seen him fight. In an enclosed space like this, and unarmed, he isn't sure who would come out the better. His fingers itch with excitement.

"I found the picture you left," Lewis says quietly. The spoon doesn't move an inch. His eyes gleam in the dark like an animal.

"Okay," Michael says, not bothering to pretend not to know what he is talking about.

Lewis was fine this morning. He hummed to himself the entire way to breakfast, and he spotted Michael in the gym without even being asked. It wasn't until after dinner that he went all weird and still in himself.

Lewis presses down, just a little. Michael raises an eyebrow.

"Is he alive?" Lewis asks like he doesn't want to show his hand but is doing so anyway. His mouth trembles at the corners. Michael frowns at him. He has seen Lewis hustle in the yard at card games enough times to know that his poker face is better than this.

"Is he."

Oh. Jesus.

Michael laughs. It is too loud of a sound for where they are. He laughs anyway.

"You have issues," he tells Lewis, who only sends him a cutting look.

"That was supposed to make you feel better! Stop crying and all. You miss him, yes? Thought I could help."

Lewis stares at him. Blinks those animal eyes.

Michael makes a frustrated sound in the back of his mouth. He misses Mika. He never has to talk when Mika is around.

"He is being taken care of in that shelter you put him in. I had my people check. I was being nice! Friendly too!"

"We're friends," Lewis says slowly as if he expects Michael to say no.

"Obviously. You are being ridiculous," Michael says. "You think I would kill a dog? No!" He is a little hurt.

"You are the chief suspect in fifteen open murders," Lewis says, flat.

"Not of dogs!"

Lewis looks at him for a long moment before rolling his eyes. "How are you still alive, man? For real? I thought it was a threat."

He pushes off Michael and pulls himself up onto the top bunk, as silent as he climbed down at the start.

"No one else would see this as a bad thing."

He can hear Lewis roll his eyes.

"Literally every other person here would think you were sending a message. And not a good one."

"I was being nice!"

There is a clang of metal against metal, and their cell bars rattle. "Oi! You two! Shut the fuck up. Save the fighting or fucking for the morning."

"Gross, man," Lewis says, and Michael kicks at the underside of his bunk. "You are gross."

Maybe Mika was right when he said that Lewis might not take his generosity in the way he wanted it, Michael considers. He decides not to tell him. He would be too smug if he did.

He palms the sharpened spoon that Lewis had held to his neck and left on his pillow, beside his cheek. It is small and narrow. Michael presses his thumb against the slice, feeling it. He smiles, and tucks it under his sheet. He had needed a new one.

+1.

Sebastian had been small when Michael met him. All eyes and bony knees and dirty hair.

Then he opened up his mouth and his personality crawled out.

Michael has never looked back.

#listen. i entertain myself #sewis #yukierre #makkinen #five head cannon ask game #kyle tag #niamh.asks #little fics

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concreteparasite · 8 months

Note

WOAH WOAH, I WAS ON A GAMING BURN-OUT AND ENDED UP GIVING BINARY STAR HERO A TRY AND ENDED UP PLAYING IT THE WHOLE NIGHT AND IM IN LOVE???? Like, what an amazingly written game???? The art style and aesthetic of the game??? The way you wrote Ray's character is absolutely beautiful to me and just so interesting to see his views, personality, and mindset and how his experiences shaped him! IN ADDITION HIS CHARACTER DESIGN IS PEAK, I LOVE HIS NOSE, I LOVE HIS EARS I LOVE HIS EYEBAGS, AND I LOVE THE SEVERAL MOLES SCATTERED ACROSS HIS FACE. ALSO, I LOVE THE WORLD YOU MADE!! I ALSO LOOOVVVEEE The small details, the things I didn't realize until I replayed the game, such as his expression changing everso slightly when the MC thought about being selfish for themselves to get Ray's name. I COULD GUSH ABOUT THIS GAME FOREVER MAN, YOU DID SUCH AN MARVELLOUS JOB WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS GAME IM BLOWN AWAY ^-^ 💕

Now that I got my word gush and love out of the way first, I wanted to ask if it is okay to use Ray's cgi from the game as a pfp (with credit)? Also, does Ray watch any types of shows or movies, if he ever has the time too? What kind of movies/tv shows would he be into?

Thankyou so soo much for all of the kind words 😭😭💕💖 it really means more than you could know. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and were able to notice all of the love and effort I put into it 🥺💕.

YES you can use Ray's photo as your pfp, you don't have to give me credit either 😊 just if anyone asks point them towards the game.

Ray enjoys some movies and shows. He really likes cooking shows that are calming. He generally prefers documentaries or dramas. He isn't so much into action, and he would rather pull teeth than watch anything superhero related. Even though Ray enjoys watching movies & shows with MC, he tends to be really exhausted after a workday and will often accidentally fall asleep midway through.

Shows Ray Likes (in no order):

Anthony Bourdain's Parts unknown

The X-files

Madmen

Startrek

Downton Abbey

Great British bakeoff

Masterchef

Movies Ray likes (in no order):

Interstellar

The Green Knight

The Arrival

Annihilation

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The shape of water

Blade Runner

The Menu

Alien

2001: A Space Odyssey

#binary star hero #binarystarhero #bsh #binary star hero vn #yanderevn #binarystarherovn #bshvn #visual novel #yandere #datingsim

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iloveetoeatbananas · 5 days

Note

hiii love, not sure if you’re taking requests for Minho (maze runner) but if you are, could you write one where shy fem reader gets caught in a situation where her shirt accidentally rips up in front of everyone in the glade (you can choose the interesting situation of how that occurs lol) and she is bare, then feels vulnerable cause the gladers start whistling and stuff but Minho immediately takes his shirt off and covers her to protect her.

She feels safe with him and he is protective of her even though they haven’t talk much as she hardly sees him cause he’s a runner- mutual pining ig 🥰. And maybe it could end in some spice hehehe

stop it this is literally such a cute prompt I squealed when I read this. And spice is my specialty so I'm glad you asked me to include that😜. I hope I've done your idea justice!! And yes I am always taking requests and looking for new things to write so honestly ask away!!

Protective (Minho x fem!reader (one-shot))

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Context: Pre Thomas, look for summary above ^

Warnings: Cursing and spice

Word count: 2.8k (sorry this one was a bit short)

! I proof read but there might still be spelling mistakes !

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Being the only girl in the glade was definitely a struggle at times. Obviously Alby had set up rules and regulations for all of the other gladers to follow to try and make you feel as comfortable and welcomed in the glade as possible, but there was only so much he could do. Though no one had tried anything physical with you, you always found a way to overhear hushed conversations regarding you and your body.

However, during your time in the glade you were able to become close with Chuck, Newt, and a few other boys. You could always find yourself laughing and hanging out with them the way they did with everyone else. They never treated you differently just because you were a girl, which is what you had grown to greatly appreciate.

You had been in the glade for a little while. In fact, today had been the 4th month since your arrival, and you knew this because a new greenie ascended from the box this morning.

His reaction getting out of the box was to be expected. He gave the normal theatrics, looking like he was about to have a panic attack, asking question after question, and then actually having a panic attack. But unfortunately he was harder to calm down then most. And being keeper of the medjacks, and baring the title of, 'the caring one' around the glade, it was up to you to calm him down. You didn't mind it though, he was a really sweet kid and he didn't even look to be much older then Chuck.

"I feel bad for the poor greenie." Newt sighed before continuing. "I mean, I feel bad for everyone who has to come down here and deal with the whole 'trapped in a maze' bit, but he's just really young." Newt explained while he plucked a blade of grass from the ground and held it in his hand. You and Newt always tended to come and hang out by the garden whenever neither of you were out working. And because you were finally able to get the new guy to calm down, he was taking a nap on one of the beds in the medhut, and since the medhut had been particularly slow otherwise, you and Newt were able to talk a bit before dinner and the bonfire.

"Yeah, I get what you're saying." You say with an exhale. "It's still difficult to come to terms with this whole thing, even after being here for a few months." Newt gave you a silent nod after you said that and neither of you said anything afterwards.

Newt was always good company. Neither of you had to talk and fill the air with conversation because being silent around each other was almost comforting in a way.

The silence between the both of you had been broken though, when you both saw Minho and the rest of the runners run out of the maze and begin jogging towards you both, probably heading to the maze room. The maze doors began to close, incasing you in glade for yet another night.

As Minho passed you and Newt, he greeted both of you with a wave and continued to jog past you.

Though you have been in the glade for a bit, you and Minho had never really spoken to each other before. Your schedules definitely didn't allow for you guys to talk to each other, considering he was always in the maze and you were always in the medhut. However, there was something about him that totally drew you in, you just didn't know what it was.

"Someone has a crush, huh?" Newt said with a smirk as he turned his head to look at yours. Immediately you turned your attention back to Newt.

Shit you were totally staring at Minho just then.

"A crush? Your talking like a child right now Newt." You say with a bit of an attitude.

"Well it's not like you're denying it." Newt says with a chuckle as he begins to stand up from his sitting position on the ground.

"Oh slim it." You say while rolling your eyes and taking Newts hand as he helped you up so you can both start heading to dinner.

Both you and Newt woke up the greenie and took him to dinner, and the evening continued like any other. Everyone was welcoming of him and it was good to see him laughing and actually talking to people.

Eventually, Gally and a couple others began to set up for the bonfire, so you took the quick opportunity to freshen up in your hut. It was honestly really nice of Alby to force Gally and the other builders to make you one just so you felt like you had enough privacy.

You changed into a pair of shorts and changed out of your tank top. You put on one of your favorite/ only shirts, which was the perfect balance of baggy yet tight on you. It was going to get colder throughout the night so you wanted to have a bit more clothing on, and you also couldn't stand the idea of being in your tank top for another second. Definitely not after sweating your ass off in it the entire day.

You joined up with everyone else and soon the festivities began. Everyone, including yourself, was drinking Gally's very shity brew and of course the greenie almost puked after one sip. Needless to say, the drink was a bit of an acquired taste, but he would get used to it. Gally was playing that stupid wrestling game with the rest of the gladers and everything was going as per usual.

You had found yourself a seat on a bench next to Newt, and you allowed your back to rest on the bench, letting out a sigh as you began to relax. You sat closer to everyone else than where you would normally sit, because you were still trying to keep your eye on the greenie. Minho, Chuck, and a group of about 10 others were sat down with you on surrounding benches. Voices and jokes filled the air and your stomach began to hurt from laughing so much.

It was times like these that mattered most when you were in the glade. It reminded you that though you were all trapped here, at least you were making the best of it. Without this type of structure, you'd bet that even Alby would've gone mad by now.

"Hey I'm going to get another drink, do you mind coming with?" Newt asked me, already up out of his seat and in front of me.

"Yeah sure, I could use another glass anyways." You explained while taking his hand.

All of this would've been fine if your shirt hadn't snagged on a loose nail from the bench.

As newt pulled you up from your seat neither of you had realized what had happened until way too late, the damage was already done by that point. Your shirt wasn't made out of the best material, so the entire thing had completely ripped off of you.

So there you were. Stood in front of an enormous group of boys wearing nothing but your bra, which only provided the bare minimum amount of coverage.

Apparently the rip from your shirt was loud enough to earn the attention of everyone, even Gally's group who was stood further away from you. It took you, along with everyone else, a moment to fully comprehend the situation. And in that moment you would've been more then happy if a griever showed up and swallowed you whole. Nothing compared to the amount of embarrassment you were feeling in that moment. Especially not when you began to hear whistles and laughs from some of the boys.

By this point you had both of your hands covering your chest, and your mind was completely blank. What the hell were you even supposed to do in a situation like this? It would take you ages to live this down, and of course something like this had to happen right when you thought everyone was getting over the fact you were a girl.

Newt stood there staring at you along with everyone else in the group of people who were sitting with you. You could see a couple guys in front of you let out laugh a laugh, which only caused your eyes to well up with tears.

You had never cried in the glade. Not once. You couldn't let yourself.

You didn't cry when you arrived from the box, or even when you were ostracized for being the only girl. But still you couldn't help but feel so utterly humiliated.

Even though it had felt like you stood there on display for hours, it had only been at least five seconds since your shirt had ripped off. Before anyone else could turn their heads to look at you, Minho got up suddenly.

He took his shirt off quickly while walking over to you, and you took your arms away from your chest, allowing him to pull his shirt onto you so you were no longer stood half naked in front of anyone. You were shocked by his gesture. Out of all the people in the glade, you had never thought he would be the one to protect you like this, but you were thanking god he did.

As he stood towering over you for a couple more seconds you couldn't help but take in what he looked like shirtless. And jeez, lets just say all this running he does pays off. He looked like he had been carved out of stone by the gods. His abs looked chiseled on, and you were going absolutely feral for it. In the most respectful way possible though of course.

Half of the glade looked just as shocked as you, and the rest looked disappointed. You heard groans and curses from Gally's group, as if they were annoyed with Minho.

"Oh come on Minho, you really had to ruin it for everyone, huh?" Gally said, and it was obvious that he was already through multiple glasses of his moonshine. His snarky comment was warranted by a couple of snickers and laughs from the other boys sitting with him. Minho turned around to face him and at this point they were stood with a bit of distance between each other, but still not much. And it was safe to say that Minho looked like he was about to maul Gally.

"What did you just say?" Minho questioned, his voice dark and menacing as he began taking steps towards Gally.

"Oh what, you going to defend your girlfriend?" Gally contested while slurring and hiccupping between words, getting in Minho's face as he said it.

"She doesn't have to be my girlfriend for me to treat her like a normal shucking person, Gally." Minho said while firmly standing his ground.

It was quiet for a moment before any other response was made. You and the rest of the glade were just staring at them, and honestly you were thankful that the attention was finally off of you.

If it wasn't for Alby pulling the two boys apart, the night would've ended with someone bloody and bruised, and someone, or both of them, ending up in the pit.

Alby pushed Gally away and grabbed onto Minho's shoulder as he led Minho back over to me. "Minho take (Y/N) back to her hut and get her situated. I'll deal with Gally." Alby says, clearly annoyed with what the night had turned into.

You and Minho both silently began walking back to your hut. You wanted to thank him, you needed to thank him, but you just didn't know how you were going to. As he opened the door to your hut and both of you stepped in, he closed the door and you just stood looking at him. You were still flustered from him being, you know, without a shirt, but you had to compose yourself.

"Thank you Minho. For um- you know, giving me your shirt and stuff." You say while looking at the ground, your cheeks red from embarrassment as you painfully recall the whole situation.

"It was no problem really." Minho said as you looked back up at him.

"Yeah it's just- I don't know what I would've done without you-" And although it sounded cliché, you meant it. Your voice began to break after trying to continue, your words getting caught in your throat. Before you could compose yourself enough to say anything else, Minho brought you into his arms gently, and hugged you. His warm embrace made you feel safe and secure, and immediately your worries washed away as you hugged him harder. You buried your head into his chest and wrapped your arms around his waist and he wrapped his around yours.

You could've stayed like that for hours, but you forced your head away from his chest and looked up at him, staring deep into his eyes and he did the same. There was a thick tension in the air as you felt the temperature in your hut increase.

Minho tucked a piece of your hair back behind your ear, "I'll always be here to protect you." Minho says while giving you a genuine smile, your stomach doing somersaults as you completely folded under his gaze. As your eyes followed his for a moment longer, you noticed them glance at your lips and before you could even process it, he kissed you.

You stood there shocked and bewildered, this night had been an absolute rollercoaster of fucking emotions and you were not prepared for it once so ever.

After not reciprocating the kiss Minho pulled away, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to- I don't want it to seem like I'm taking advantage of you or something- I-" But before he could finish his sentence you kissed him back, your lips merging into his completely, as if you were two magnets that were completely drawn together naturally.

The kiss was passionate yet gentle, and you practically melted into him. You let his tongue explore the inside of your mouth and your lips worked against his in unison. For all you knew, Minho was the first boy you had ever kissed, and you were totally fine with that. You didn't even need to kiss any other boy to know that Minho did it best.

You took one of your hands and kept it on his back, caressing his muscles on his upper back. While your other hand found it's way to his nape and you began to take his hair between your fingers, tugging at them more whenever he kissed you harder.

He kept one of his hands by your waist and the other at your back, trying to bring you as close to him as he possibly could. He held you as if you were the only thing worth holding onto, and he was never willing to let you go.

You could feel the heat radiating off of Minho as he pinned you against one of the walls in your hut next to the door. You were left completely breathless once Minho pulled away, biting at your bottom lip as he then continued to kiss you down your jaw. You could feel him begin to suck at the sensitive part part of skin between your neck and collar bone, causing a small whimper to escape your mouth.

Minho continued to kiss down your collar bone and as low as your shirt's neck line would let him. You could feel his kisses become more sloppy and desperate. It was as if he couldn't wait to get his hands on more of you, and you couldn't wait to give yourself in to him.

You pushed him off and quickly took off your shirt, tossing it to the ground as Minho stared at you. He put his arms around you again and smirked as he began to kiss you, more hungrily this time.

"I'll never let anyone else in the glade see you like this again. I promise." He said between kisses. The sincerity in his voice was prominent.

You could tell that all of what Minho had said was true. If any other boy tried to touch you, or even look at you in the wrong way, he would be there to protect you.

In that moment you had realized that no one would be able to make you feel the way Minho made you feel. He satisfied all of your desires and he fulfilled you in ways you didn't even know were possible. You were everything he wanted, and he was everything you wanted. But more importantly, he made you feel safe, like as long as you were in his arms he would never let anything bad happen to you.

Then suddenly, there was a nock on the door. Then it swung open abruptly.

"Hey um (Y/N), I really wanted to apologize for earlier-" But before Gally could say anything else, he turned his head and saw you and Minho, half naked and pressed against each other.

"Oh shuck- I didn't mean to- I'll leave now." And with that, he was out of the door as quickly as he entered it.

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ok guys heres another!! I really hoped that yall liked it. I had quite the fun time writing this and I think it turned out pretty well!

btw I'm going to start working on pt.2 to stranded, and I should have it finished relatively soon, but I've never written smut before so that's going to be quite interesting. But seriously thank you to everyone who wrote nice things under that post you have no idea how much it means to me ❤️❤️

#the maze runner #tmr #minho tmr x reader #minho the maze runner #minho tmr #x reader #tmr fandom #tmr fanfic #minho fic

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agentnico · 2 months

Text

Dune: Part Two (2024) review

I’m fully aware that the Dune sequel has been hit by acclaim from both critics and audiences, and I shall share my own thoughts in due course, but also whilst presenting itself as a serious and sophisticated piece of artsy science fiction tackling challenging themes of religion and politics, from a marketing standpoint this film has been a major farcical meme. From the popcorn buckets shaped like suggestive sand worms (or more so accurately as deformed buttholes) to the viral TikTok video of an unnamed man riding a makeshift sand worm around a cinema lobby on his way to Arrakis, or more likely to one of the gazillion screenings of Dune: Part Two. But yes, absolutely mad bonkers advertising techniques, and not at all reflective of how seriously and straight faced the actual film plays. Anyway, let’s talk Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuneee…..

Plot: Paul Atreides unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. Facing a choice between the love of his life and the fate of the universe, he must prevent a terrible future only he can foresee.

Controversial opinion - I was not a fan of the first Dune. I thought it was all spectacle and no substance, and even then in regards to said spectacle, it was just sand. Lots of sand and bland dark visuals. I understand that the first movie acts as a massive exposition piece with lots of world building and introductions of all the characters and various political families and the spice trade and all that sweet jazz, but honestly it all felt so dragged out. Also a lot of narrative choices felt really immature and I did not buy it. In fact, the only memorable part for me was that female voice screaming on the music score every time something crazy happened, and my does that woman have some strong vocal pipe work! Like damn, her screams…. I really felt them!

Going into Dune: Part Two, I was very much of two mindsets. One was more so a feeling of obligation to watch it, as I wasted 3 hours of my life watching the first one that I felt I deserved some kind of closure for my efforts. The other being Denis Villeneuve. Aside from the first Dune, he’s a director that has constantly impressed me with his unique vision and style. Simply look at his past filmography! Prisoners. Enemy. Arrival. Sicario. All impressive pieces of genre filmmaking. Then there’s Blade Runner 2049, that took the classic Ridley Scott movie and managed to improve on it and become one of the most thrilling science fiction epics of the last decade. Also the trailers looked appropriately exciting, and it seemed like the second movie was actually gonna deal with some serious shit finally. Again, my problem with the first Dune wasn’t that it was slow. I mean, I can happily watch Paris, Texas any day of the week and be mesmerised by the empty yet beautiful takes of the American desert. It’s more-so that the first Dune felt aimless and messy. As for Dune: Part Two?

Well, if we’re going to use The Lord of the Rings terminology, and boy am I happy to refer to the dear-to-my-heart Middle Earth whenever I have the chance, then Dune: Part Two holds the scale of The Two Towers. I may not agree with all of it, and there are still some moments that drag, though The Two Towers is also guilty of that - I’m looking at you Treebeard! But overall this is one hell of a cinematic experience and achievement. Visually for one this is eye-candy. And yes, yet again there’s lots of sand, but this time around Villeneuve manages to find very creative ways to add/take away colour to make many sequences truly impressive. There’s an early scene where the Fremen are fighting Harkonnen goons in the desert and the entire thing is seeped in this blood orange palette, reminiscent of the Martian Chronicles, and then there’s the part where we are introduced to the Harkonnen home planet where the entire screen is drenched in hardcore intense black-and-white due to their sun only giving out white and black light, and instead of fireworks there are these watercolour stroked exploding in the sky, to of course the much talked about eye-dropping sand worm riding into battle scene that had the feel of the giant elephants appearing in The Return of the King, and yes that was another most delightful reference to Lord of the Rings! As I was saying though, the entire movie visually is certainly something to be in awe of.

Also Hans Zimmer’s score!! Of course the man’s a genius, having composed so many of cinema’s greatest musical compositions. I can recommend his Live in Prague performance! Hit after hit, and I find myself spinning it on my record player a good few times. Hans Zimmer’s Dune: Part Two soundtrack feels like a thunderously bombastic continuation and expansion of the first film’s more quiet and moody opener, and that shift in tone allows for some truly spectacular weaving of the composer’s thematic tapestry for Dune – with the finest new thread being the absolutely gorgeous love theme for Paul and Chani. A truly beautiful piece that echoes the heartbreaking tragic nature of the central romance of the film. Needless to say I’ve already pre-ordered the limited edition coloured vinyl of Dune 2’s soundtrack from Mutant (the new Mondo).

As for the narrative, as that is where I felt the first film faltered the most in my humble opinion (which I share so publicly online). I really do feel like the sequel is a major set up, for since the first one focused more on the endless word building and set-ups, this movie is all about the character developments. The scope is still big with the various political and religious elements that are tackled and explored throughout, however at the same time Dune: Part Two manages to feel more intimate compared to its predecessor, with the unravelling of the romance between Paul and Chani, but more so the inner struggles of Paul Atreides, as he tries to balance his emotions of revenge with the feeling of wanting to belong somewhere, as well as his denial of being called the so-called Messiah to the Fremen people. Look, the idea of the chosen one has been a concept that has been done over and over again, however I felt here they managed to really make it feel unique and different, with Paul choosing not to take this major responsibility due to visions of the future where he sees this choice result in darkness and dread, yet at the same time realising he has no choice but to follow his destiny and calling. It’s powerful stuff.

The cast list is stacked in this one. Timothee Chalamet is a rising star, having previously excelled his dramatic chops in Call Me by Your Name and his charismatic whimsy in last year’s Wonka, but this is by far his most impressive acting feat. You truly feel his character turning from boy to man, and it’s a real and raw performance. Zendaya shares great chemistry with him, but also in her own right gives a strong turn as a warrior Fremen conflicted with what she sees and thinks. Javier Bardem’s Stilgar adds a slice of surprising humour to the mix, being so obsessed with Paul being part of the prophecy that anything he’d do, Stilgar would find that to be part of what has been foretold. Paul Atreides could literally fart and Stilgar would observe in wonder proclaiming “as it was written”. There’s also a tiny No Country for Old Men reunion with Bardem being joined by Josh Brolin, who’s alright by the way, though it’s a typical Brolin brute role. Charlotte Rampling as the Reverend Mother continues being truly despicable and honestly that wench deserves to be put in her place - the movie’s ending is very satisfying in this regard. There’s also some newcomers to the Dune world too. Florence Pugh as the Princess reminded me a lot of Padme from Star Wars, and Christopher Walken I felt was tad miscast as the Emperor. Don’t get me wrong, Walken is a great actor, but his way of speech has been impersonated and overdone so many times that it is difficult to take him seriously in a role like this. Minus a couple of strong deliveries Walken felt really lazy here. You know who wasn’t lazy though? Austin Butler! This guy understood the assignment, playing the psychotic nutter Feyd-Rautha and he’s truly unrecognisable. Even his voice is different. Gone is Elvis and in cometh his Skarsgard impression! He’s brutal and maniacal and was honestly superb, and I wish there was more of him in this movie.

Again, it’s far from a perfect movie. There are parts still that drag, and certain times where things feel surprisingly rushed, but overall this is an experience through and through, and unlike my feelings after the first film, here I find myself really looking forward to the inevitable third part. In fact f*ck it, who am I kidding - this movie is bloody incredible!! Like I can’t even - it’s abso-fricking-lutely spectacular!! And by the way I read a bit about the Frank Herbert Dune books now and the future sequels are gonna be mad, just saying. Paul’s son becomes this half-man half-worm known as the God Emperor! Things are gonna get weird! Anyway, Dune: Part Two - go see it if you haven’t already. And in Austin Butler’s voice: “may thy knife chip and shatter”.

Overall score: 9/10

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hotluncheddie · 7 months

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🍓🍓

this is honestly kinda random but my part two of the @thefreakandthehair summer fic challenge is done!!! so pretend it’s summer and not halloween, these boys r bring goofy all year round!

prompt: picking berries | cw: none | rated: G | part 2/2 | tags: disaster gays steve& eddie. besties robin & steve. jeff is an angel.

read part 1 here!

‘rob? um. is it gay to take your male friend berry picking’ steve asks while he’s pushing the full returns kart over to the romance section. he feels his eyebrows scrunch as he tries to read the labels on the tapes.

‘uh’ comes robins faint reply from where she’s slumped on the counter.. not helpful.

‘if uh. what if he really likes strawberries. like so so much.’ steve asks, focusing on trying to read the tapes even harder as he feels his neck get warm the longer he hears no reply.

‘no right? no, i don’t think so. it’s like friendly bonding. totally wholesome.’ steve gives up on the tapes. coming around to stare at robin across the counter. he gnaws on his cuticle and stares at her eyeballs so hard he goes cross eyed.

‘what the fuck’ robin whispers ‘it’s 9 in the morning’

‘robinnnnn’ steve whines because she not helping and he needs her to help, like so much, like right now.

‘ok ok! ask me again.’ she demands, finally looking alive and like she’ll actually fulfil her best friend duties like he needs.

steve takes a deep breath. ‘is it gay to…’

‘yes.’ robin interrupts before he can finish.

steve opens and closes his mouth a couple times. his mind is blank. blank except for an image of eddie and an image of a strawberry and an intense need in his gut to have the two connect.

‘shit’ steve rubs his hand down his face.

‘fraid so, it’s super gay and i hate to be the one to break it to ya.’ robin pats him on the shoulder, genuinely looking like she feels sorry for him. until her face shifts into a grin that’s a touch feral. ‘your crush on eddie is officially terminal.’

steve feels the heat on his neck slither up and bite at his cheeks. ‘who, uh, who said it was eddie?’

‘oh come on steve! i’m your best friend i see how you look at him.’ robin laments, rolling her eyes with her whole body, instantly calling his paper thin bluff.

steve groans, pushes away from the counter and starts pacing ‘ugh okay yes fine! i wanna take eddie on a gay strawberry date and make him smile and hold his hand and other stuff and, and im kinda freaking out here rob!’ steve feels frazzled. he cards a hand through his hair and tuggs.

‘okay. okay! it’s fine see, it’s fine.’ robin says, giving steve two big thumbs up and a smile that does nothing to hide the panic in her eyes. steve whines again and goes back to pacing.

‘uhhh okay! is this gay stress or eddie specific stress?’ robin joins him in pacing but she stays behind the counter. ‘because i know we talked about that kid in camp and you had a lot to say about that one guy you saw at a swim meet and then when we watched blade runner you talked over it a lot like normal but also got like really quiet when harrison ford was all kinda sweaty and stuff.’ robin finally takes a breath and turn back to face steve who is gaping at her. he feels like she just dissected his brain like it was a frog.

‘so i feel like we discussed the whole’ robin flails her arms up and down his general being. ‘bi thing. so i’m thinking this is more a like eddie specific freak out and so, like, shut the fuck up actually? hes obsessed with you steve!’ robin finishes, finally.

‘who’s obsessed with steve?’ eddie’s asks. because eddie’s there now. flanked by the three corroded coffin boys, all looking at steve like he’s something to be wary of.

‘uh’ robin and steve say in unison.

‘kieth!’ robin shouts with way too much enthusiasm for their manager who barely does his job. ‘yeah, ha. he’s been doing the schedules so the two of them overlap like, all the time. steve here always figured the guy hated him but, uh, times they do be a changing. yeah, he’s to-totally obsessed.’ robin smiles way too big and steve can only match it. staring at her, trying to make her shut. up. using only his minimal bran power.

‘oooh’ eddie says because he’s an angel who would never make fun of robin even if she’s being super weird.

‘uh, we’re gonna go look at the sci-fi section ed’s.’ Gareth says, his face one of confusion and maybe a little bit of fear.

‘buckley. harrington.’ jeff says nodding his head in acknowledgment of the two before they all wonder off. gareth and (unnamed freak) repeat the motion and follow.

huh. that’s good. eddie’s friends are taking longer than most to thaw to steve. he gets it, but, still, sometimes it stings.

‘cool yeah.’ eddie says watching them slip away. ‘movie day.’ eddie explains, smiling so big his eyes squish into little crescents, bouncing on his toes.

steve feels his actual heart clench. like god himself is reaching into his chest and squeezing it.

‘that’s great man’ steve says, voice coming out breathy but eddie’s smile only brightens further when their eyes lock. so steve has to spend a second remembering to breath in again.

‘you want to join? oh uh. i mean. you can’t. your working.’ eddie babbles, slowly going strawberry red. ‘and like, i know you don’t love horror and stuff and that’s kinda the vibe we’re going for so, maybe um, maybe some other time. a time your not working but when it’s not like alien over and over. uh yeah.’

‘doyouwanttogoberrypicking. with me?’ steve blurts. feeling his whole head heat up and run down his chest. he clamps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

eddie looks shocked, eyes so big and confused and pretty.

but before steve knows it, the sun peaks over the mountains and the corners of eddie’s mouth curl into a grin that’s so delighted steve’s toes almost curl.

‘yeah. course i would.’ eddie says, so softly, so shyly through his still strawberry red smile..

‘hopeless am i right?’ jeff says as he steps over to the counter next to robin.

they’re both gawking at the two fumbling through making a plan. all pink cheeked and goofy.

‘hopeless.’ robin confirms, rolling her eyes and going back o actually doing her job. she smiles down at the tape in her hand.

#they go on the date and hold hands!!!#lexssummerfanworkschallenge #steddie #hotlunch #stobin #my fic #<3 #it took so long to end this #i hope it’s fun

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tygerbug · 9 months

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BARBIE (2023) - Toward the end of writer-director Greta Gerwig's Barbie, America Ferrara (as Gloria) gives a speech about the tightrope that women must walk, the impossible and contradictory standards that a woman must navigate in order to be taken seriously in society and seen as a person. It is an overtly feminist moment but also serves as a metaphor for the film itself, which has to balance very contradictory tones in order to please several very different and contradictory audiences and owners. Is Barbie a fish-out-of-water comedy about two fashion dolls traveling to the real world? Is it a serious feminist statement about growing up in a patriarchy which does not value women enough? Is it Blade Runner? Is it a toy commercial? As Will Ferrell's character might say, "Yes." It is all of these things and a lot more, and in the hands of a less capable director that would have been a bigger problem than it is.

Like Barbie herself, Barbie the movie is expected to be everything all at once, to all people. Some of the things this movie is expected to be contradict each other pretty heavily. The film is trying to do a lot, and there's a lot of evidence of roads not taken. So much is unexplained or left hanging, and so much of what happens is silly and frivolous. This is a very smartly-made movie, which at times seems very dumb or makes dumb decisions, partly because what it's trying to accomplish as a film is nearly impossible.

It is possible to imagine a better version of this film, one which explains itself better, leaves less characters unexplored, leaves less plot threads hanging, goes to darker places, and does not make so many compromises. But I can't imagine that film getting funded as a $145 million toy commercial from Mattel, with an extra $150 million spent on marketing. Under the circumstances it's impressive that the film is as good as it is. That imaginary version of the film would be more coherent, and probably Oscar-worthy, but you'd have to call it "Malibu Stacy" or something, as The Simpsons did, and it wouldn't be one of the biggest hits of this year. What we have instead is a very complicated gymnastics act to satisfy many different audiences and the demands of corporate capitalism. The film sticks the landing, and comes out of all this looking as beautiful as a doll-sized Margot Robbie. But it's also full of moments which are out of place, underwritten, confusing and weird, like a doll-sized Kate McKinnon.

The toy company Mattel has been trying to get into the movie business for some time, as Hasbro already did with "Transformers" and "My Little Pony," among others. They've been trying to crack the code of a Barbie movie for adults for years. (And apart from Barbie, the idea of Mattel getting into movies is mostly a bad idea.) At Sony, up until 2017, Diablo Cody was writing a more ironic, deconstructionist version to star Amy Schumer, as a Barbie who didn't fit in. (Cody has said that the more traditional Barbie was not seen as feminist enough at the time, and that they struggled with comparisons to The Lego Movie.) Anne Hathaway was attached to a version written by Olivia Milch (Ocean's 8) until the project reverted to Mattel, and moved ahead at Warner Bros.

Greta Gerwig's Barbie feels like a film rewritten over the scattered corpse of a worse film, or many possible worse films. It walks the tightrope of being both an ironic deconstruction of the character, and an unironic celebration of Barbie which shows her in the best possible light. This film has a lot to say about Barbie's place in pop culture, as an ideal that little girls want to be like, which also saddles them with unrealistic expectations that can be very harmful. Since this film is also a toy commercial by Mattel, Barbie the movie can't interrogate these issues too negatively, but it goes farther than you'd think. It starts a conversation about what Barbie has meant to girls and women since 1959, which gives the film much of its meaning. The film raises some basic questions that it's not actually allowed to answer, while ignoring others. The chaotic script feels like the product of extended battles with Mattel, where the filmmakers are allowed to say certain things, and get away with certain things, only in specific scenes and in specific contexts.

Consider the rebellious teenager Sasha, as she meets Barbie for the first time. Sasha believes this is just a woman pretending to be Barbie, or that this is a crazy woman believing herself to be Barbie. Sasha and her entire friend group unload on Barbie about the negative effects that Barbie has had on society, to the point of calling her a fascist, without quite explaining why. This is a strange scene, because they've just met this woman and have very little reason to see her as "the real Barbie," or a representation of Barbie. They have barely been provoked to unload on Barbie like this, and we don't really hear this kind of talk from Sasha (or the movie) afterward. But the scene is written this way because that's where Sasha and Barbie are, at this point, as characters, and so this is the scene where Sasha is allowed to say these things, and where by extension Greta Gerwig is allowed to raise these questions, without openly agreeing or disagreeing with them. By the end of the film, Sasha will be saying stuff like "Barbie, you got this!"

Or consider Will Ferrell, as an executive in charge at Mattel. While we meet him in the "real world," he is a whimsical and comedic character, whose motivations are concealed behind several layers of irony. We are supposed to read him as "a Will Ferrell character," perhaps identical to his character in The Lego Movie (something that Barbie was compared to often, in development). He could also be Buddy the Elf from Elf, or George W. Bush from SNL. We know who this characters is, because he's played by Will Ferrell, but it would be very hard to explain his character otherwise. That's because this character has been forced into an impossible position, and gets around it by being several contradictory things at once. Will Ferrell, vaguely, occupies the space of an antagonist or villain for this film. He represents the real-world corporate patriarchy that Barbie is really struggling against, and his ostensible goal is to capture Barbie and restore her to factory settings. But he also represents Mattel, in a movie produced by Mattel, so at no point can he actually be the villain. Will Ferrell coats the role in several layers of irony and comedic schtick that make him hard to pin down. He plays the role with a wink. When his men are chasing Barbie, he is doing schtick rather than seriously trying to capture her. He forgets or changes his motivations quickly, while still pursuing Barbie, and most of his lines afterward are about how he's a nice guy really, and the son of a mother. He does that with a wink too, making his character hard to explain generally. He occupies the general space of a villain or antagonist, but also has to assure you that this is not the case in any serious sense. The daftness of the character papers over any holes in the story by assuring you it doesn't matter.

This is equally true late on, for the exact same reasons, when (spoiler alert) Barbie struggles with the Kens. The Kens can't actually be the villain in any serious sense, despite the serious real-world threat they represent, because this is a toy commercial for Barbie and Ken. When the Kens go to war, it needs to be as serious as possible, and as silly as possible, at the exact same time. Tonally, this film always needs to do everything backwards in high heels. It's a tough tone to hit. Ryan Gosling distinguishes himself as Ken, whose job is just "Beach." Gosling must convince us that he's both the generic, harmless (and stupid) Ken doll, and a character with much deeper psychological issues that he's working through, without the one overshadowing the other. Ken becomes a cautionary tale about how someone who is missing something in his life can easily become radicalized into something much darker, but not to the extent that he is irredeemable and can't be Ken anymore. This is a film which puts its actors in a very contradictory position when it asks anything of them, although the other Kens and Barbies are not explored deeply as characters. The film must have it both ways. It tackles toxic masculinity in a way which is both deeply serious and unserious. There is a very cutting remark, at one point, about a recent superhero film, which must only have been allowed because Warner Bros also owns that film, and which could also be very loosely interpreted as saying it appeals to its desired demographic. At one point in the film, Ken tries to figure out the rules of the Real World, and whether the opportunities he wants can simply be given to him. This opens a few questions about the many layers of societal gatekeeping - of wealth, class, race and so on - which makes opportunities harder to attain for the unconnected. Unfortunately these are also questions that are well beyond the scope of this movie. Despite a diverse cast, race and sexuality don't enter into this as themes.

Another thing the film doesn't- and can't- mention is that Barbie was not an original creation of Ruth Handler, but was based on the German "Lilli" doll, based on a sexy comic strip for adult men. The doll caught the attention of little girls precisely because it wasn't initially meant for them. As Helen Mirren's narrator notes, Barbie seemed much more exciting than dolls of little babies. She seemed to open up a world of adult possibilities, precisely because she was originally an adult fantasy. Ruth Handler is played here by Rhea Perlman, with probably a bit less gravitas than the role calls for, although she gets in a few good joke lines about Ruth Handler's real-world issues with financial fraud, yet another thing I'm surprised Gerwig got away with referencing here. (The contributions of Jack Ryan, and his troubled personal life, are not referenced.)

Margot Robbie holds the movie together as Barbie, also known as "stereotypical Barbie," the Barbie you think of when you think "Barbie." While there is a diverse cast of Barbies and Kens played by familiar faces, they're not cast to be "Barbie and Ken" in the way that Robbie and Gosling are. At one point in the film, at Ken's urging, a Nobel Prize in Horses is given out. For her part, Robbie seems to be trying to win an Academy Award in Barbie. Once again, this role carries a lot of contradictory expectations with it. We all know about Barbie, and her perfect, silly, fake little world, where everything is pink and plastic, and about 23% too small. Robbie gets laughs by parodying the doll Barbie, but also embodying her unironically as if it's the role of a lifetime. This is a silly, frivolous, comedic character, which also requires extremely serious dramatic acting, and the one side informs the other. This is both the fashion doll "Barbie," and a real person who is having a nervous breakdown, either because she's becoming a real person, or for other reasons which are only barely explained, and arguably outside the scope of this film. (America Ferrara's "crazy drawings" and parental angst are only hinted at, as is whatever magic connects Barbie to Mattel.) Margot is good enough as an actress that you never question it. She brings some serious drama to scenes which aren't otherwise filmed like serious drama. It is also fun to see Barbie wear all her little outfits, an energy which she also brought to the worldwide premieres of the film, with a different Barbie outfit at each event. I believe the SAG-AFTRA strike meant that we missed out on some of her final Barbie looks, and this thought will haunt me. Margot Robbie fulfills one of the requirements for playing Barbie in a film like this, which is that you should be a little too attractive to be playing someone as bland as Barbie. This is something that Mattel understood when they turned the adult property "Lilli" into the kids property "Barbie." Even Helen Mirren's narration points out, at one point, that Margot Robbie has difficulty playing Barbie as "ugly," even when "ugly crying." She has no such difficulty playing Barbie as a cultural monolith, or with a wink as she floats downstairs as a Barbie girl in a Barbie world.

That song, Barbie Girl by Aqua, parodied the character in a way which got them sued by Mattel, and which would still be inappropriate in this film if played in full. But audiences would also notice if it wasn't played, so once again the film is put in an impossible position, and tries to have it both ways. So the end credits have a song which features portions of "Barbie Girl." The intro also features Lizzo, discussing Barbie's pink world in a way which gives it a little more street cred. And there's a sad ballad by Billie Eilish which better reflects Barbie's identity crisis- and the film's.

I wasn't left wanting more- the film does not call for a sequel- but I was left wanting more clarity on what we got. What have we really achieved, at the end, for the Barbies and Kens, and does it matter? What have we achieved in the real world, and does it matter? Does this journey only really matter for Barbie herself? What does it even mean to have Barbie in the real world? Okay, that's better left unexplained, probably. Like most of our journeys it's about growing up, learning how the world works, and realizing you actually can't go back home again. Even Barbie never really had a choice. The connection between the real world and Barbie world is probably best left unexplained, although the transition is handled well with rear-projection backgrounds. it does raise the question of how "real" Will Ferrell's character even is, as he acts almost like an escaped Ken. How "real" is the real world when it also has magical elements and exaggerated characters? What is Barbie's connection to the ghost of Ruth Handler, who only sort of created Barbie anyway? Why is "Barb" from "Barb and Star" here? Is that to make the movie more "Barb"-y?

At one point an FBI agent calls in, tracking Barbie. This is never mentioned again- I believe that those tracking Barbie afterward are Mattel employees, and not a lot of them. Is Gloria connected to our Barbie because she works at Mattel, and played with a discarded Barbie? Were her "weird drawings" really all that weird? Can we assume that the Barbies reflect the dreams of the girls playing with them, including a doctor played by trans actress Hari Nef, and a President played by Issa Rae? Wouldn't there be a lot of Barbie Lands in that case, with this little town just standing in for all of them? That sounds too complicated. Does it matter?

If this is a current Barbie lineup, without "discontinued" dolls, why are the retro pair of pregnant Midge and rainbow-shirted Allan present? We never see them together either, so what is Allan? Is "Allan" its own gender entirely? What would it mean to be Allan-gender? (Allan appears to be, simply, Michael Cera, no more and no less.) What is Allan's motivation? Is it enough to say that "Allan is Ken's Buddy" and that "all of Ken's clothes fit him?" Probably! Would it fix the Kens' problems if they figured out whether any of this is a gay thing, or not? Is "Weird Barbie" (Kate McKinnon) a gay thing? Isn't she "weirder" in the real world than she is in the "Barbie world?"

I believe we never hear about Skipper, Barbie's younger sister, in the film until hearing that a Skipper once escaped into the real world. Two Skippers, including the bizarre "Growing Up Skipper" (with growing bust) appear as discontinued Barbies later. It is clearer, for this film's purposes, to just refer to a lot of Barbies and Kens when setting up this world. But I'll bet there was a draft setting up Skipper. There have been a lot of animated Barbie movies where Barbie has a family and other continuity, but this film is more interested in a personal experience of Barbie rather than any of that corporate lore. I've heard that some of the animated Barbie Dreamhouse content is jokey and meta.

Basically none of the male characters have motivations that make very much sense or are explored in any detail, which I think was a good choice on the director's part.

And that's just the stuff that seems to matter, until it doesn't, like the entire plot. There are a lot of throwaway moments and details which will make you say, that was kind of weird. Or, I have questions about that.

There's a few jokes in the film about "guy movies," and it seems significant that Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer, which was originally tracking to open to much smaller audiences than Barbie, has been very successful in piggybacking off of Barbie as a double feature. For one thing, this is Ken behavior. For another, the online reaction was sometimes very toxic. People excited about going to see Barbie on social media were often harassed with all kinds of slurs. Even by itself this supports the very basic point about what women have to put up with. The opening was a huge success for both films, with Barbie surpassing $200 million and Oppenheimer crossing $100 million between Thursday and Tuesday or so, opening weekend.

I was reminded of how Barbie's trailer sets this movie up as really something special, which the movie itself delivers on. The movie has something to say about Barbie, and about the world we live in. It's visually beautiful and funny. It calls back to classic films of the 20th century, such as 2001: A Space Odyssey, Grease, golden-age musicals, The Matrix, The Wizard of Oz, and the work of Jacques Tati. When I saw Barbie, on the big screen, it was preceded by some of the worst movie trailers I've seen in my life. Often movies based on toys and familiar IP, with nothing interesting to say, saying it in the most obnoxious way possible.

Barbie is a silly toy commercial comedy that also manages to, for the most part, be a meaningful piece of cinema with something to say, crafted masterfully by the director. It does what a "guy's movie" would do backward in heels, making an impossible situation seem relatively effortless. There are things that this movie does not accomplish, but under the circumstances I wouldn't expect it to. Barbie is a concept by which we may measure ourselves, if we so choose. It is the start of a conversation, asking questions that it is not at all prepared to answer. For the Barbies and Kens, nothing needs to be resolved. For us in the real world, nothing ever can be. Barbie does not have the answers. In its desire to please many different kinds of audiences, as well as its corporate masters at Mattel and Warner Bros, there is something inevitably missing at the heart of the film. This Barbie is a gorgeous piece of plastic, but it is also, in the end, inevitably hollow. And in that missing space in the middle, it is inevitable that audience members will insert themselves. That is true whether you see yourself as a Barbie, a Ken, a Gloria, a Sasha, a Greta, whatever Allan is, or something else entirely. This Barbie has more personality than other Barbies have, and I think this movie could be very meaningful to people, but that's going to depend on what they, personally, are bringing to this movie as viewers. I hope, in the end, you too realize that you are Kenough. More reviews: https://letterboxd.com/garrettgilchrst/films/reviews/by/release/

#barbie #barbie movie #margot robbie #ryan gosling #greta gerwig #kate mckinnon #michael cera

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sewercentipede · 6 months

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tagged by @wingsfromwhere to post my favorite comfort movies !

tysm for the tag i love this subject and ive been thinking about it a lot lately for some reason so i love ur timing <3

This is actually rly hard cuz I have so many comfort movies so i have to pick my favs of them only ;-;

Blade Runner (Final Cut)

Tangled

The Dark Crystal

Buffalo 66

Interview with the Vampire

Many Ghibli movies but I will pick Howls Moving Castle as my comfort fav

Spun

Several Wes Anderson movies, but I’ll narrow it to: The Grand Budapest hotel, The Darjeeling Limited, and The Royal Tennenbaums

Hellraiser (Uncut)

Emma (2020)

Poltergeist

Legend

Shrek (lol)

Uptown Girls

Inside Llewyn Davis

Mean Girls

Carrie

The first and second Harry Potter movies

The Fifth Element

Tank Girl

lol I have a lot sorry aahhh. So many didn’t quite make the absolute comfy fav cut so shout out to Alien, Trainspotting and T2, Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan, Grease, Christiane F., What we do in the Shadows, the 2-part Anne of Green Gables, No country for old men, Burn after reading, Princess Mononoke, The Cat Returns, Spirited Away, The Secret World of Arrietty, Whisper of the Heart, The Thing, pride and prejudice (2005), Dr Strange, Thor Ragnarok, Jennifer’s Body, Labyrinth, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Mulholland Drive……..and yes I know this is me cheating rn I can’t help it :p

tagging ….. anyone who sees this and has comfort movies they’re excited about, anyone who is obsessed w movies, @yuoic @silemthill2 @blood-made-pleasure @bunnnyeyed @mr-top-secret @triptihosmrti @altkey @kxllakxm @themist4ke @lovehael @pixie-birth @puppetstringed @dixiedeadshake @poltergeistwife @hypnogogick @festeringpit @skinlesion @dissociative-degenerate @mybloodiedvalentine @stlamb @diepanzerhexe @terracottabunny @mybloodiedvalentine @sickeningvoid @trigonognathus @da0loth @halfwaysleeping @patheticgirlfortythree @weakfleshwillingsoul @sloppystyle (slash @solardrifter cuz idk which blog u use for this kind of thing so I’m tagging both of urs lol) @toothdrop @halo--hall @mycomatosedreamworld4

#to be clear comfort movies =/= favorite movies but #there is some overlap #movies #tag game

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smirk-mode · 3 months

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The true strength of Back to Earth

From rewatching BTE again a few days ago, it’s made me appreciate once again how good this special actually was and I get a bit irritated when so many people in the Red Dwarf fandom deride it simply because it’s not as funny as other installments in the series (spoiler alert – they were purposefully trying something different with BTE – it wasn’t a sitcom. Yes, it was in many ways a Blade Runner parody but it was also more than that, and it was also trying to be more than just a comedy).

For me it’s the storyline with Lister that really makes it worth watching, coupled with how this Despair Squid is far more intelligent and cunning than the one from Back to Reality.

The Squid from back to reality uses simple tactics to try and kill the boys. It makes Cat think he’s a dork, Rimmer a homeless alcoholic with no-one to blame but himself, Kryten a murderer, and Lister a fascist and a mass murderer. Quite quickly they all decide they’d rather be dead than live in that world… But because the illusion this Despair squid created was so thin, they’d probably have twigged they were in an illusion if they’d stuck around any longer.

This second Despair squid is far smarter though. She doesn’t actually want to kill the boys - but she does want them all thoroughly ensnared for a long time so she can escape without a trace. Ultimately, she doesn’t actually care if her victims succumb, so long as by the time everyone does comes round, she’s either legged it, or has made sure she’s not being threatened (which is exactly what happens as they decided to release her at the end of the special).

She’s taken the time to thoroughly psychoanalyse the boys, in particular Lister, and you can view the Bartikovsky, fake Kochanski and other characters as being her avatars through which the boys interact directly with the squid. She starts working on Lister immediately, sensing where he’s at mentally, and what’s on his mind:

Bartikovsky: Adjustment on command structure is essential if one day Lister is to regenerate human race, huh? Lister: Result. You beauty!

As an audience we’re meant to read this at surface-level – Bartikovsky is taking over the ship so that Lister can get laid… But Lister isn’t that a simple character. Rather this comment is a clue to one of the things that’s weighing on his mind – the fact he’s the last human and can do little about it, but still somehow feels responsible.

Elsewhere Bartikovsky sets about tearing strips off Rimmer. This is either because she’s sensed that Rimmer actually kind of enjoys this (he definitely has some sort of punishment kink..), or more likely she's trying to make him realise how badly he's been failing his bunkmate in recent times. It's here that she slips in this line in relation to Lister:

Bartikovsky: It's tragedy. His body lives but inside he is dead.

Again, reading it on a surface level, or with the level of knowledge the audience currently has about the situation at this point, and you could be forgiven for believing that this is a driven career woman trying to understand the habits of an unambitious slob and coming to the conclusion there's something wrong with him... In reality it’s a genuine observation from the squid, who, having recognised how dire Lister’s mental state is, is actually concerned for him (again, this squid’s not actually interested in killing the crew, she just wants to escape by distracting them…).

Having made such a direct observation, she again focuses her attention on Rimmer, angry that the person closest to Lister hasn’t actually noticed his bunkmate’s ongoing mental health crisis.

Bartikovsky: This is your fault. You kill him […] You responsible for his life but you do nothing. You think only of you.

At this point the squid subtly changes tactics. Rather than suddenly being the senior officer so they can somehow find a way to continue the human race, she instead now tells Lister she’s sending him back to Earth to find a mate. She has another go at Rimmer, telling him to get his affairs in order before she essentially nukes him. It’s clear having read the boys minds that she absolutely cannot stand Rimmer!

When they eventually all gather on the deck at Bartikovsky’s order so she can open a portal to Earth, Lister, the eternal optimist, says this:

Lister: Something always goes wrong. I’m not building me hopes up.

If we hadn’t already seen the scene at the memorial, most long-term viewers would flag this up as being out of character, this is Dave “we’re gonna get through this” Lister. He’s the optimist because Rimmer is usually pessimistic enough for everyone!

Moments later the squid enacts the next bit of her plan – she tells everyone that none of them actually appear to exist, helping frame up what’s going to happen when they reach ‘Earth’. This part of her plan is just buying time, but along the way it’s possible to see what her other aim – other than buying time for an escape – was.

(Cue all the nonsense at John Lewis – my least favourite bit of BTE. Incidentally they cut the best scene from this segment!)

At this point though, the squid already has Lister hook, line and sinker. He’s just happy to be back on Earth, and too happy to analyse the situation properly. But this isn’t enough for the squid. She has an ulterior motive that pays off for both her and the Boys – she sends them on a quest to find their creator to plead for more life, while buying more time for herself.

Looking for their creator, the boys now head to a sci-fi store (as you do), where they meet the owner of the shop - another avatar of the squid. This is when the boys find out they have a fan club!

(Also, the inclusion of the bathtub here is rather smart. It lets us know that Kochanski decided to sneak off the ship while Lister was in the bath, which is why he’s in the bath when Kryten tells him that she’s been killed. Lister runs out of the bath to do something (confirm she’s alive or something) and is so distraught when Kryten confirms that she’s dead, that he completely forgets about the bath and spirals into grief and depression… And nine years later the overflowing bathtub destroys Holly).

As well as learning about the fan club, the shop owner gives them a copy of SFX and sends them on the next part of their wild goose chase – on a bus to visit the props guy – also an avatar of the squid – but along the way Lister meets the two kids on the bus… who are also avatars of the squid and are actually the reason for this part of their quest - and not the props guy.

The conversation with the kids is critical for Lister’s character. Absolutely critical. The squid in the guise of the two kids begins to help Lister rebuild himself – cluing him in to the fact that Kochanski is in fact alive, and that he’s “pretty cool” and “quite brave”. But like the rest of the crew, they also thinks he’s “disgusting”. Here the squid also gives him ample reason to change his ways, elaborating that Kochanski couldn’t bear to watch him slowly destroy himself:

Boy: Kryten made it up. Lister: Why would he do that? Girl: You were a mess, falling apart. Boy: Drinking, being daft. Girl: She couldn’t bare to stay and watch you die, and you wouldn’t listen, so she took a Blue Midget and legged it. Lister: …Why would Kryten lie to me? Girl: He was only trying to save your feelings Boy: So you wouldn’t feel like a big, fat loser. You’ve been dumped!

And just after that:

Girl: Next series, try and find her Boy: And kiss her, I would! Lister: There isn’t going to be a next series. I’m a fictional character. I don’t exist. Girl: I think you exist Boy: I do too

After talking to the kids, he has a lot to think about. Are they right? Is Kochanski alive? Did Kryten lie to him? Does he exist? By this point he’s got to be mulling over his life choices. If he’d taken better care of himself, would she have stayed? How could he expect her to stick around if didn’t even care about himself?

At this point Bartikovsky catches back up with them, but the squid knows there’s no further need for this particular character, and gives Rimmer ample reason to kill her off!

Now onwards to Noseworld, and why can Lister read Chinese? Nobody nose! (I'm so sorry)

And now on to Coronation Street, which was included for two main reasons – budget and contracts. This series was funded by Dave which, although owned by the BBC, has other involved commercial partners which include ITV, and for those not in the UK, Coronation Street is an ITV property. Until the 2000s it was extremely uncommon for actors and other celebrities to do work for both the BBC and ITV simultaneously – some people would appear only on the BBC and vice versa. These days it’s much more common for stars to come and go between the two. But even when BTE aired it was still almost unthinkable to see a BBC mainstay visit the cobbles of Coronation Street.

Trivia aside, this scene is also important for Lister (and good on Craig Charles for being a sport here and running with the plotline). Lister meets the actor who plays him, a man who is famous in this reality… and he’s a mess. Lister walks away glad that he’s Lister and not Craig Charles, which makes him feel better about himself!

Also you could say in this scene that this was Craig Charles acting as the Despair Squid acting as Craig Charles!

(and I miss the Lloyd and Steve double act on Corrie)

From here the Squid is starting to run low on stalling tactics, and doesn’t put any other roadblocks in their way to meeting her penultimate avatar – the Creator - but that doesn’t mean there’s no important lines here. Quite the opposite in fact:

Lister: We want more life, smegger Creator: A series cancellation sequence cannot be revised once it is established Lister: What about all the loose ends? Me and Kochanski? Getting back home? Creator: I grew weary of you

There’s a lot in just these few lines. Lister wants to live because he realises he has unfinished business, which includes Kochanski whom he’d previously thought dead. But then there’s the creator’s ‘weary’ comment, which looks to have really upset Lister. Except Lister has just remembered that his life matters, so he’s not so much upset as he is angry…

Creator: You can never win. Accept it and die well. Lister: *nods as if conceding defeat, then lunges forward and attacks the creator, holding both sides of his head* Creator: If you kill me you moron you cease to exist! Haven’t you been following any of this?! Lister: I’ve been dead for ages man, just sitting around, getting old and fat. I never thought I had responsibility to anyone. I never thought there was anyone out there who was on my side, who wanted things to work out. We’ve got a fan club! They’ve even named a TV station after me! I was never alone, I just didn’t realise it. Now I want more life, smegger!

This is one of Lister's most important quotes in the whole series. Lister is openly admitting just how depressed he is. That prior to this squid incident he’s been sitting around waiting to die. But in the last day or so he’s found a reason to live again… and it’s part of the squid’s ultimate plan. She’s led the crew in circles while trying to find a way out of the water tank, but during this time she’s genuinely been concerned by Lister’s state of mind. It’s possible she’d been sensing the crew’s thoughts and feelings the entire time she was aboard ship, but it’s also possible she only read their minds after they came looking for her in the water tank. Either way, while saving herself, she also steps in and tries to help Lister realise he needs to help himself.

But that doesn’t mean that she values Lister’s life over her own, far from it, and that’s where her final avatar comes into play…

Not long after ‘killing’ the creator, the boys finally figure out what Cat’s little origami creations are – they’re little squid. This is all the boys need to figure out their dilemma and work a way out. But while Rimmer, Kryten and the Cat don’t look upset at the realisation, Lister immediately points out that being in this fake world doesn’t make him feel despair – it makes him feel elation. Lister decides that leaving this illusion and returning to the real world means returning to the shell of a person he’s become, and he doesn’t want that.

Lister: In here I’m somebody. It’s made me want to live again.

With her ruse rumbled, the squid knows she can’t keep the boys occupied for much longer, but to ensure her own safety, she decides to keep Lister with her for a little long (probably hoping the boys will be too preoccupied getting him to wake up back in the real world to bother with her).

And Lister, unable to cope with his depression in the real world, and presented with the possibility of a fake future with a fake Kochanski, begins to consider choosing fantasy over reality.

Lister: I can get her back again. Kids. Everything I’ve ever wanted. Kryten: But in the real world, sir, you’ll be dying. This isn’t real. Lister: It’ll feel real *cut to Rimmer and the Cat’s genuinely horrified faces* Kryten: Not in your heart Lister: I’ve got no option Krytie. This is the only chance I’ve got of getting her back again.

At this point, Kryten finally reveals the truth – Kochanski isn’t dead, and he concocted the story of her dying thinking it would be better for him to hear (it wasn’t, obviously). But even hearing that the real Kochanski isn’t dead isn’t enough anymore… By this point Lister thinks he’s found the perfect solution – he’ll get Krissie back for a little bit before he dies. He’s still ready to die here. More than ready in fact. This is basically Lister choosing suicide.

Lister: She’s in here somewhere as well, in fact she’s right behind that door and in this world she loves me. In fact in this world she’s going to love me till the moment I die.

At this point Rimmer, the Cat and Kryten’s antibodies kick in and they wake up. And realise that Lister won’t wake up. When Rimmer wakes up he looks at Lister in horror and worry. Probably with Bartikovsky’s comments ringing in his ears.

When Squid Kochanski appears she makes an interesting observation off the bat. Unlike Lister’s comments about having to stay, she’s picked up on the shred of doubt in his mind:

Squid!Kochanski: Seems you're undecided about which reality you wish to live in. Lister: I’m-m mulling it over. Squid!Kochanski: Would you mind if I ask you a question? Lister: Shoot Squid!Kochanski: In your dreams, did you kiss me? Lister nods Squid!Kochanski: Was it good? Lister, crying: I never wanted to wake up Squid!Kochanski: Then don’t

At this point the squid’s giving him two options – to take on board what he should have learned from this experience, and choose to live, or to take a convenient out by dying of thirst while in her illusion. At this point I don’t think she’s fussy which he chooses as I think she’s already realised the crew aren’t actually much of a threat to her, but she's still essentially offering Lister the chance to put himself out of his misery...

While Lister is stlll making up his mind they go for a drive. Kochanski’s dressed differently at this point so it’s probably been a day or two from Lister’s perspective. And it’s at this point he makes his mind up for good. Lister's spent enough time with Squid!Kochanski to mull over everything that's happened over the last couple of days, while also realising that the real Kochanski would never act like this illusory version (it's probably also why she's dressed so differently to the real Kochanski). And having previously said he has to stay in the illusion, he now says he has to leave.

The squid doesn’t want him to leave for obvious reasons, but there’s no real urgency about her actions anymore. Her attempt to make Lister stay is half-hearted, and perhaps still has another layer to it since she’s been secretly trying to show Lister his worth for most of this experience.

Squid!Kochanski: The real me? You’ll never get me, I’m way out of your league!

At this point, Lister finally seems to have absorbed what she’s been trying to tell him throughout the illusion, by responding to her as follows:

Lister: I thought that too, but I was wrong. Squid!Kochanski: You were right Lister: No. I’m pretty cool. I don’t take any smeg, and even though I’m disgusting, sometimes I can be quite brave Squid!Kochanski: You’ll never get me Lister: Yeah, I will!

And when Lister chooses life, squid!Kochanski doesn’t look upset at all.

The next scene is Lister waking up back aboard the ship, visibly upset, but surrounded by the boys. He instantly realises that they care because they stuck around waiting for him rather than leaving him alone.

After this, it’s ultimately Lister who makes the decision to release the squid when they get the chance, perhaps realising, at least a little bit, just what she did for him.

After leaving the cargo deck they discuss their predicament and finish off by breaking the fourth wall a bit more (newsflash: we’re not real!), with Lister having a chuckle alongside the boys… but when the rest of the boys turn to leave, his smile falls a bit. An indicator that he’s still down, but perhaps on the road to a better place.

So yeah…that was a bit of an essay, but I hope it shows how BTE was actually a bit of a high concept two-hander between Lister and the squid.

BTE might not have had as many laughs as other series, but it wasn’t trying to. Instead this was a great character study of Lister, and at last a TV canon exploration of his mental state, which couldn’t possibly be good given his circumstances in life.

I also like to think that after this, Rimmer went away and had a good long look at himself. Rimmer was at his absolutely peak of selfishness and self-absorbedness at the start of this special and he needed the squid’s reality-check (oh the irony). At the very least I hope he gave Lister a hug and told him not to scare him like that again.

#dave lister #arnold rimmer #red dwarf #back to earth #bte #bte is good is a hill I'm prepared to die on

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lost-technology · 1 month

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Laughing through the Decades with Immortal Plants

youtube

So, in re-reading one of my reblogs - regarding Vash finding the little joys in life and relating it to happiness index, generational angst and proving something to someone with the top musical style of my generation (and yet how we who are alive and remain have found our ways out of darkness...) This lead me to thinking about the running joke in Bojack Horseman (video-ed in someone's Youtube video above, cut together out of context) about different decades' music and landscapes and how much I'd laughed at these various pardoies of musical styles and the "stereotypical decades" of the Hollywood street-shops and advertisements when I'd watched the show because I HAVE LIVED THROUGH EACH OF THESE DECADES. Yes, I'm old. I get the joke (as do most viewers of Bojack, I expect, given its target demographic) because they are parodies of worlds I've been in. The running gag here works best if you remember the 1980s, the 1990s and the early 2000s. (At least, if you are American - the gag is American culture). I just had the thought: Is there anything with Vash like this? He's been engaging with the culture of Planet Gunsmoke / No Man's Land for the last 150 years. Surely, he's watched the human culture grow and change and it couldn't have been "wild west" all the time. There, canonically, is a bit of Mad Max and Star Wars thrown in (and maybe even a bit of Fallout). There was definitely a survivor-scrapper culture in the beginning and it leveled out into more stable communities, cities. That might have been when the more "western-frontier revival" culture came in. In Trigun Stampede there is definitely a more urban culture with Jul-Ai being very Blade Runner looking (I have not seen that movie, but that style-influence is all over pop culture), leaving the "wild west" to the outlands, rural culture. But there's gotta be other stuff, little things - like various musical styles through the decades, various fashions, something in the distinctions between decade-cultures, cultural evolution, all those things you don't notice passed you by until you see something that makes you nostalgic, or someone's doing a parody of it or is just so out of place to current times. In other words, I'm wondering if Vash ever watches some kind of No Man's Land play or something in which he winds up laughing his ass off at either the *inaccuracy* of a period-piece because he lived through that decade that no one's alive to have been in anymore or, like me, finds himself laughing his ass off at something in parody of decades he's lived in, but it stretches out waaaaay farther for him? I can imagine Vash nodding and going "Yep, that was the Stardate 080s alright! I can't remember why everyone was wearing legwarmers then, it was just a thing!"

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #bojack horseman #decades parodies #the problems with ageless beings #the humor that ageless beings might find in laughing at culture #Youtube

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lucas-grey · 2 months

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Location ranking of each Hitman WoA Game

All locations from the three WoA games of Hitman have their very own charm. But some levels have inspired me more than others over the years, so here is my ranking of my favourite and least favourite Hitman locations from all three games!

Hitman 2016

Favourite Location: Sapienza

Sapienza has a very special place in my heart. Although Paris was the first level, it was Sapienza that totally grabbed me. The small town, the café, the beach, the villa, the laboratory. Everything about Sapienza is beautiful! There is one small deduction, namely that the two targets are almost exclusively in the villa and the rest of the town was hardly used. But fortunately this was made up for a little with "Landslide" and "The Icon".

Least favourite Location: Bangkok

Even though the Himmapan Hotel itself looks beautiful, it's my least favourite level in Hitman 2016. For one thing, it hardly feels like a hotel, due to the lack of areas that I consider a hotel, such as a pool or spa area. This worked far better in Haven or Hokkaido. Secondly, I find the routes of the two targets very limited, which makes the already very compact level seem even smaller.

Hitman 2

Favourite Location: Santa Fortuna

It was very hard to pick a favourite level in Hitman 2, as this is my favourite game of the whole trilogy. But if I have to choose, I'll go for Colombia. Santa Fortuna is not only nice and big, it also has the most unique and fun challenges in my opinion. The only small consolation: again, it's a shame that the three targets have a fairly limited route and don't come together. This had more potential.

Least Favourite Location: Sgail

Sgail is really beautiful. I like the look of the castle and also the outdoor area. But it just didn't captivate me enough. I also find it quite difficult and I find it annoying that you have to wear certain robes for certain areas (I found that annoying in Hokkaido too).

Hitman 3

Note: I have excluded the Carpathian Mountains from my rating, as for me this is more of an epilogue than a real level. I also excluded Ambrose Island because, although it was released with Hitman 3, it technically takes place before the events of Hitman 3.

Favourite Location: Berlin

I love Berlin! I love the vibe of the club because it also reminds me of my clubbing days (yes, in my early 20s I used to visit clubs. Hard to imagine for me today, haha). The feeling when you enter Club Hölle is so realistic that I get goosebumps every time. I like that the music gets louder the further down you go, I like the outdoor area and the NPCs dancing and chilling. I also think it's cool that there are ten different targets to choose from, giving you lots of options and challenges.

Least favourite Location: Chongqing

I really like Chongqing, especially the outdoor area, the flats and the restaurant. With all the neon lights, it has a Blade Runner feel to it. But what I don't like about Chongqing is the ICA headquarters, which I personally find too futuristic and, in contrast to the outdoor area, too lame. And a big point deduction: the targets. In my opinion, Hush and Royce are the most boring targets in all three Hitman games. They are totally uninteresting to me. There was potential, for example regarding Hush and Olivia's past, but it wasn't utilised. Too bad!

What are your favourite and least favourite Locations in the three Hitman games?

#hitman #hitman woa #hitman fandom #agent 47 #would love to hear your opinions

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siryouarebeingmocked · 7 months

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Marcus vance, possibly joking: Cyberpunk is when Rich People bad.

Idiots in the comments: Cyberpunk is indeed when rich people bad!

Me: [eyeroll.jpg]

Meanwhile, in the actual genre:

The Matrix: The bad guys are robots that rule the world, and they only did that because the general public and government were jerks to the robots.

Ghost in the Shell and Blade Runner: Literally franchises about morally ambiguous cops. Government servants. In BR, the corporate overlords are like to ancient god-kings. That’s how much power they have. GITS is about the nature of humanity and sentience, not Rich People Bad. It also involves a lot of politics.

Robocop: Again, about a cop. OCP works closely with the government, and the general public clearly has a lot of problems too.

Escape from New York: Snake is sent into NYC as a government agent.

Cyberpunk 2077: Again, megacorps are functionally world powers unto themselves, and states are corrupt at worst and ineffectual at best. In Phantom Liberty [spoilers],

the New USA president turns out to have strongarmed Songbird into working for her and trying to sacrifice Solomon Reed as a treaty condition to Arasaka. Which directly causes a lot of the plot’s problems.

She uses people like disposable tools, all for her “noble” goal of restoring America and reducing corporate power.

Akira: Result of government experiments.

Idiot in the notes: Yes, all *punk genres are about how rich people are bad!

Me: What, even solarpunk? The actual -punk is generally for dystopias, and/or the idea that the world is heavily driven by the thing in the first half of the word.

Me: You know.

Me: The aesthetic.

Also, I just got done reading the first Cinder Spires book. Where governments and their agents are the main bad guys. So this stupid argument doesn’t apply to steampunk either.

That’s...actually an interesting take.

#cyberpunk #stupid #long #1984 #elysium #lolgic

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sylphidine · 4 months

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[NDU] Scratch Spins And Shadow Dances

Written for the annual Rise of the Guardians Stocking Stuffer event for 2023.

@rotgsecretsanta

Prompt 30 - NDU Verse (Pitchiner and Pitch)

________________________

“Skiing?” “Good God, no.”

“Ice fishing? Snowshoeing? Tobogganing?”

“I haven’t a clue what that last one is, but it sounds truly vulgar.”

“Oh, come ON. It’s like a long flat sled that’s got a big curl up front, but no runners. You can fit like four or five kids on it, you shoot down the highest hill you can find, and you all jump off before you fall into the ravine or hit a tree.”

“Then I certainly haven’t participated in such a thing.”

“Seriously? Nobody ever did winter stuff with you when you were a kid? That’s just sad.”

“Winter weather out-of-doors involves getting cold and wet. I would think you would know me well enough by now to realize that being cold and wet irks me."

Pitch leaned forward from where he was perched on Coz's lap and gave him a rare, affectionate cheek nuzzle instead of a spiteful ear nip. He continued, "If you can keep your mind out of the gutter, I'm sure you can guess my OTHER favorite indoor winter sport, by simple process of elimination."

Coz gave him a shit-eating grin back. "Hmmmm… pickleball?"

That earned Coz a hard smack on the shoulder as Pitch hissed like a scalded cat. “Do you really think my mother would allow such a pedestrian, uncultured, NOISY pastime in her house?”

“Nah, I guess not. Alright, Mr. ‘I’m too sexy for my pickleball’, I give up. What indoor winter sport does the lofty Black family approve of and you call your favorite?”

With the air of one conveying a secret for the ages, Pitch replied proudly, "Ice skating!"

Coz mulled that over, confused for a minute until he figured out that by "indoor winter sport", Pitch was referring to an actual skating rink. He responded, "Huh. We finally have something in common."

“You skate?”

“Of course I skate. You can’t grow up on the border of The Great White North without learning how to ice skate.”

“I’m not talking about ice hockey, you oaf.”

“Neither am I! Not to mention being part Russian. It's in the blood. You’d be surprised at what I can get up to when I’m bladed up.”

“Hmmmph.”

“I’m guessing that you and Piki grew up with little silver blades on your feet, to go with the silver spoons in your mouths.”

He'd meant that to sound banter-y, but it was apparently the wrong thing to say.

“If you’re going to be rude, I’m going to skip this line of inquiry.” Pitch started to wriggle off of Coz's lap, but not before Coz saw a flash of hurt quickly cross his bedmate's sharp-featured face. He shot out one beefy arm, circled Pitch's slim waist with it, and hauled him back in, holding him close to his chest.

"Hey. Hey, hey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was only trying to say you must have been really cute on skates when you were a kid."

"Hmmph," Pitch groused again, but sounding less annoyed this time. He relaxed a bit in Coz's grip.

"My Russian great-aunt ran a skating concession stall up in Malone when I was little," Coz continued, "and she was really patient with the kids. If I close my eyes, I can see you there, too."

"Maybe in another lifetime," Pitch said musingly. "I doubt that my parents ever wintered north of Saratoga Springs."

Coz wisely held his tongue this time, resisting the urge to scoff at the notion of rich people “wintering” in spots that saw not even half the snow he was used to. He said instead, “So. You. Me. Ice skating. Interested?”

“You’re on. But ***I *** get to pick where and when.”

“Anything you say, dear.”

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“You do know we could have just driven down, parked at my grandparents' place, and taken the subway here, don’t you?” asked Coz a week later from the backseat of the town car he and Pitch were currently riding in.

“Yes, we COULD have,” replied Pitch smugly, “but I wouldn’t want you all tired out and stiff before we even got to the rink.” Pitch couldn’t help grinning at the double entendre he’d slipped in there, and from the grin and the “oh HO” he got as an answer, Pitchiner hadn’t missed it.

He gave himself a pat on the back. Had this been his twin brother trying to impress Jack Sickle, Piki would have sprung for buying a VIP package with unlimited skate time, never thinking to ask if Jack even LIKED ice skating, finding out the hard way about Jack’s traumatic past experiences with frozen water, and then flailing around for the rest of the date while Jack fell apart emotionally.

Pitch had more awareness of others’ sensibilities than Piki did, or ever would. [Never mind that it had been PROTO who’d told Pitch about how Jack’s sister died. Information was still information.] He gave himself credit in finding out what Pitchiner considered fun, and had planned this outing accordingly.

And no, this was not a date. He wasn't in love with dating Pitchiner.

Yes, it was Rockefeller Center. But no, he wasn’t trying to make a splash with money the way Piki would have. Pitch’s current intent was to rent some skates and to do two 40-minute skate sessions with food and hot beverages in-between. Even the round trip limo service that he'd arranged between the NDU campus and midtown Manhattan was a practical concern, not meant to be flamboyant.

Nothing extravagant, therefore. Just something that normal people did at Christmas time.

Not a date.

He promised himself he wouldn’t laugh… much… at Pitchiner’s skating. After all, The Rink at Rockefeller Center was not some glazed-over puddle in the backwoods. Indoor ice skating required thoughtful panache, not mindless brawn.

An hour later, Pitch found himself taken aback.

He was used to looking at Pitchiner with attraction and lust. And quite frankly, who wouldn’t? He was muscled in all the right places and had a handsome face, even with the crooked nose.

Pitchiner in bed with Pitch was one tasty feast of a man.

Pitchiner on the lacrosse field was an unstoppable force of nature, one Pitch had to admire even if he didn’t understand the rules of the game. Not that Pitch would ever admit to such admiration out loud.

But Pitchiner on ice skates… well, “beautiful” was the first word that leapt to Pitch’s mind, and once having leapt there, the word “beautiful” refused to be dislodged.

Somehow Pitchiner managed to convert his formidable muscle and sinew into something tight and focused. He wasn’t showy with his axels and spins. But he stuck every landing, pulled himself into and out of crouches and slides, and dammit, his sensual movements made Pitch regret his extra layers of clothing.

Pitch had at first restricted himself to circling the outer perimeter of the rink, with occasional twirls when he could be sure not to crash into other skaters. Having seen Pitchiner in action, he made up his mind to let loose, just a little.

He put on a bit of speed and caught up to Pitchiner, pulling just ahead of him in the circuit. Wordlessly he held out one gloved hand and was relieved to have Pitchiner reaching back.

Together they skated in silence, hand in hand, keeping pace with each other, complicated feelings on both sides expressed in motion, without words.

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