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honey-tea-and-cookies · 2 years

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I love your fmk with sings lmao, how about friend, marry, kill for moon signs?

Hi honey! I can definitely do that :)

Friend, Marry, Kill w/ The Moon Signs

Aries: Kill. I feel like I've said 'kill' for a lot of Aries placements, but I promise I love y'all I swear!! I just find myself having to rein you guys in all the time. I know how impulsive you can be, no matter how much you deny it. You're also so defensive. I'm certain I'll have at least one of you in the comments of these post like 'SoMe GoT hUrT bY aN aRiEs' (yes that's a direct quote of a comment I got, my love @astrologyninaa can back me up). No I was not hurt by you, you just can't take any criticism AT ALL. It's a bit funny, but also shut up before I make you (not in a cute way). ANYWAY y'all are also very funny and make me laugh when no one else can, and I love you for your soft lil moments like that. Still got the 'kill' verdict though smh 🙄.

Taurus: Friend. Okay this is ✨me✨ so sorry if I seem biased. HOWEVER. Every single Taurus Moon I've met is such a beautiful soul omg. So so kind, and would do anything they can to help others. A bit random, but they always have one signature fashion thing they can do?? For example; my old science teacher always wears a suit with a cartoon-themed tie to class on Wednesdays, and he has for the last 2 or 3 years (I love him sm). I'll use another example that's probably more relatable lol; my Taurus Moon friend always looks absolutely exceptional in green. They're also so smart! People talk about how hard working they are, which is true, but they're also just genuinely very intelligent.

Gemini: Friend. I'll be honest, both of my best friends are Gemini Moons lmao. So, so so SO funny. I know everyone talks about that but it cannot be stressed enough. You can vent to them about anything and they make it all feel so much better with humour. Also if you're the kind of person who just wants your friend to agree with them when you vent, GEMINI MOON IS YOUR MAN. Also if you're an introvert/mentally ill like me (lmao), these are the guys that will get you out the house. They are the ones that will say "PR, you haven't left the house in over 2 weeks, come to my party" and when I don't explicitly say yes, they say "Come on let's plan your outfit" and I'm sold. Also, they give the best music recommendations. I would be honoured to listen to one of your playlists honestly

Cancer: Marry. Honestly for the same/similar reasons as why I adore Cancer Venus. I wanna binge Disney movies with you. You feel like the type of friends to make shitty music videos with me in my bedroom (that is a high compliment, that shit is like baring your soul, embarrassing as hell). Please just,, let me adore you. Let me bake you cookies (you can help me if you really want though!!!). Lay down and let me rub your shoulders. MWAH. I love you. I would write a poem about you. You are the ultimate muse. Honestly please jus let me snuggle you okay?? You're warm and your hair smells like strawberries. Also y'all share this placement with Taylor Swift so go off 😭

Leo: Kill. I'M SORRY. Y'ALL LEO MOON BITCHES ARE SCARY. Y'all are always like 'You can't handle me 😍💅'. NO. NO I CAN'T. I'M SORRY. I've tried, and I have always failed. You got me. My Taurus Moon is fucking losing it with you guys omg. You're somehow a lot and also not at all genuine. Hollow. I'm being so mean right now and I'm so sorry I do love you. But goddamn. Please wear a warning sign <3

Virgo: Marry. Whenever I see this placement in someone's chart, I just know they're a green flag. I could talk with you for hours and hours and hours and not get bored (which I have done, by the way. AND I'D DO IT AGAIN?!). You guys both know everything, and are so open to learning new things. I've never met someone so eager to improve themselves and admit when they are wrong. You're also sweethearts. You've always been there when I needed you, even if you certainly did not have to. You're so funny too. Sensational sarcasm. Omg y'all are also gossip queens? No one talks about it enough, but you got the tea on everybody. I think it's because you just observe. You see and hear all (and tell me all of it aasjdwcfhqiee lmaoooo). I love love love you <3333

Libra: Friend. I was going to say 'kill' but then I realised I absolutely adore too many of you to do that. When undeveloped, you're the worst. Genuinely my least favourite people. BUT!! When developed and utilised properly, you're the sweetest most loving people in the world. Sometimes I have to really pay attention to notice all the little things you do, but they are there. For example; you always come to me for advice because you know that's how I show my love. Or you make a point of remembering the things that help with my panic attacks, and are always available if I ever need you for that. Or you get excited and come to find me specifically to ramble about whatever it is now, because you know I always feel so honoured to listen.

Scorpio: Kill. I honestly think this is such a beautiful placement when used correctly, but I've genuinely been treated horribly by every Scorpio Moon I've had in my life. I want to be clear; everything I'm about to say, is talking about *underdeveloped* Scorpio Moons. I know you don't necessarily mean to hurt me. It's my fault as well, not setting clear enough boundaries. I know I said you could come to me whenever, and I meant that, but you definitely abuse it sometimes. I've noticed that a lot of you are very attracted to me, which is wonderful! But your love is incredibly intense and suffocating. You can get blinded by it sometimes, which isn't fair to the other person. I'm sure y'all are lovely when developed though <3

Sagittarius: Friend. You remind me of Christmas fruit mince pies (that's a compliment). I actually don't like mince pies, but still. You're sweet! You're fruity. You give me energy (like how sugar does? You know?). The type to take lots of pictures and pin them up on a corkboard for memories sake. Cute!! I feel like you'd want to copy off my homework, but that's okay. I've said this before but, I feel like y'all would watch The Disastrous Life of Saiki K with me and that's such a good thing omg I'd love you forever. Also every one of you that I've met was musically talented in some way, so go you!!

Capricorn: Marry. Honestly my favourite Moon sign, I simp for y'all TOO HARD. I see y'all and my back start archin frrrr 🙏🙏 (I'm so sorry). Wife/husband material. I feel like it would just be so easy to live with you in domestic bliss. Going grocery shopping together, cooking dinner for you, cleaning the house while jamming to music. I actually could not think of anything better. Your hardworking nature?? MMMMM. Your deep desire for financial stability?? MMMMMM. Your physical way of showing affection?? MMMMMMMMMMMM. I don't mean to come off too strong, but I would lay down my life for you and that's not an exaggeration in the slightest. Please let me kiss you (consensually, you can say no) <333

Aquarius: Kill. Y'all are hot, but I feel like you don't ever take me seriously. Like, I'm not dumb!! You're not the only smart person here!! Maybe I've just never been close enough to you, but you can be so iffy sometimes?? You're either all interested in me and my life, or you haven't spoken to me in 11 months. I cannot ever tell if you like me or not. Y'all are not direct AT ALL. This part of you makes me so anxious. Overall, unpredictable and scary. Generally pretty cool though :)

Pisces: Friend. You're the sweetest people ever I don't take criticism. Personally, my favourite place for Pisces to be. You always make such an effort to understand and relate to me. You just wanna know people, you know? Especially if you've struggled to feel heard. You stand up for everybody that deserves it. I think when people hear 'empathetic' they also think 'weak' but that's simply not true. You use your struggles to help others, and that's incredibly brave. So SO much respect for you guys. You all deserve the biggest hug (if you want one). Come here, sweetie. I love you. It's okay. I see what you're doing and I thank you endlessly. I adore you all <3333

This is all I have for today! Thank you so much everyone for reading, and thank you for sending this ask in! I hope it resonated. I want to remind everyone that there are no bad placements. Sending you all lots of love <333

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fullbushfemme · 3 years

Text

Meeting the Mayans

word count: 1,804

summary: You thought you were prepared for anything. Growing up with four brothers, you had been bitten, beaten, thrown out of trees, concussed, stabbed, practically any violent act you could possibly think of, you had endured. For a kindergarten teacher, you were tough. You had the scars to prove it. That was, of course, until the day you met the Mayans.

unnamed mayan x fem!reader

warnings: brief mentions of blood, hostage situation, and a shooting.

author's note: I've had this idea in my head for ages now and I'm tempted to make it a series. The only issue is that I can't decide which Mayan I want to star (since they aren't named in this fic). I'm tempted to use this as a jumping off point for multiple fics, writing different stories from this initial incident involving different Mayans, but I'd love to hear any thoughts y'all might have :)

-I also haven't written anything outside of academic works in years so go easy on me <3

Santo Padre Septembers were always your favorite. It was sticky and hot, enough to make anyone want to jump into a pool fully clothed, but school was back in session, which meant you got to meet a new hoard of bright-eyed, eager five year olds. You had spent the last month preparing your classroom for their arrival. Nine am to one pm every day for four weeks was dedicated to decorating your classroom, making name cards, making sure every student had all the supplies they needed. Inside every desk you placed glue and markers and pencils and workbooks and scissors...everything a little kid would need to express themselves. And all of it out of your own pocket. You took it upon yourself to spoil these kids rotten.

Two weeks into class, you already knew everyone’s names, their favorite color, their pets, and whether or not they were allowed to watch TV after six o’clock. You knew who was friends with who, who couldn’t eat peanut butter, and who was most popular. This year’s class was going to be great, you just knew it.

It was a humid Friday afternoon. The room smelled like Elmer’s glue and pencil shavings, with stray scraps of construction paper strewn about the floor after the kids decided this week’s art project was going to be making dinosaurs out of construction paper and glitter. You were staying after class to clean up and vacuum, and to take the class rabbit home with you since no one had signed up to care for him this week, when you heard a knock at your door.

You looked over to the open door, squinting into the sun, trying to make out who it was. But no one was standing in the doorway. “Forget something?” you called out, thinking that a student must’ve left a lunch box or notebook and was feeling shy.

“Not exactly,” a deep voice responded, sending a twinge of fear through your body. You knew that voice. “I was hoping my baby sister could help me with something.”

A lump had formed in your throat that you tried to swallow, to no avail. “What are you doing here?” you choked out, standing from where you were picking up paper scraps.

“I need you to help me hide. Quickly.” Your older brother stepped into the classroom, gun in hand, pupils wider than you had ever seen them. He must’ve been high, you thought, panicked. What had he gotten into now? All four of your brothers were known to be trouble-makers to varying degrees. A few had been to prison for petty crimes, but the brother that stood before you had gotten wrapped up in drug trafficking years ago. He scared you the most. They had all promised your parents that they would keep their lives separate from yours, that they would never put you in harm's way. But it didn’t last. It felt like every other week you had a bruised or beaten brother on your doorstep, begging for help or a place to stay. And today, it was to ask you to hide them.

Your eyes flitted to the large windows overlooking the grassy courtyard where a few children sat waiting for their parents to pick them up. Hide. Hide from what? Who was coming after him? Would they hurt the kids?

“N-no,” you stammered, taking a step backwards. You couldn’t risk putting any kids still on campus in danger. “You can’t hide here. You have to go. You have to go right now.” You could feel a pit in your stomach begin to form as your brother took slow, long strides toward you.

“No?” he spat, completely dumbfounded by your refusal to help him. You had never turned him down before. He was family. You never said no to family.

You swallowed hard before repeating yourself. “No,” you responded, with more conviction this time, although you knew he could see right through you.

You took another step back, but ran up against your desk. Your phone was in the top drawer. Could you reach it fast enough? If you even could, who would you call? The police? That was a good way to get murdered and leave a teacher-shaped stain on the floor for the kids to come back to on Monday. Gripping the edge of the table so hard your knuckles turned white, your brother broke the ominous silence before you could.

“I’m not asking you again, hun,” he spat, now so close you could smell him.

“I can’t,” you whispered, your eyes welling up. “The kids…”

He furrowed his brow for a moment, shocked at the idea that you could actually turn your own flesh and blood away. You had always helped him, no matter how many times your parents told you not to, no matter how many times your life was put in danger. He couldn’t grasp the idea that you would put your foot down when it came to endangering other people, when it came to endangering your kids.

“They’ll kill you, you know,” he seethed, looking back over his shoulder towards the open door. There was a low rumbling growing louder and louder, but that wasn’t to whom he was referring. He was talking about your other brothers. “I told them I’d go to my baby sister, that she’d help me. She always helps me. Why would she flip on me now? Why wouldn’t she help family?” His grip tightened around his handgun as he leaned in to threaten you. “If anything happens to me, they’ll know to come to you first. They’ll know you couldn’t protect your own family.” His breath was hot against your neck. “Now,” he sighed, “Help me hide. And tell them you haven’t seen me in months.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” a man shouted from outside, causing your brother to grab hold of your arm. Those tears you had been holding back finally fell down your cheeks as your brother pulled you in front of him, placing you between the stranger and your brother. You could barely make out any details of the man from outside because of the blinding sun, but you could tell he had a gun. And that gun was much bigger than your brother’s. As the man moved into your classroom, at least five more men appeared and followed him in, all with guns pointed at your brother.

At this point, you were frozen. The lives your parents had so desperately tried to keep apart were crashing together, their worst nightmare coming true. The two of you were stuck, with only one way out. And he knew it. He gripped your arm tighter, making sure your body could be used as an effective human shield. The barrel of his gun was shoved into your ribcage, his face buried into the back of your hair.

“See what you’ve done?” he seethed. You looked at all of the men placed around the room. Leather-clad men on top of a backdrop of crudely painted rainbows and dogs. You hadn’t brought these men here. You didn’t anger a group of gun-toting men. And yet somehow, this was your fault.

“We’re only here for you, kid,” a low, rough voice called out, a different one than before.

But he wouldn’t let them take only him. He was bringing you down with him. He was willing to sacrifice his own family to keep from going down alone.

The seconds ticking by felt like hours. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, desperately trying to break free. But you could do nothing besides stand still. All you could do is hope and pray that these men that had followed your brother here had enough decency not to kill a kindergarten teacher caught in the crossfire. But your brother refused to give them that opportunity.

“If I go,” he yelled, raising his gun to your temple, “she goes too.”

These words would haunt your every thought for the rest of your life. But in that moment, all you could think about was the weapon pressed against your skin. Your brother wasn’t just willing to bring you down with him, he was willing to kill you himself. And the thought of it made you sick. It made you want to curl up into a ball and scream on the top of your lungs. You opened your mouth to cry out, but your brother hit you across the head with the butt of his gun before you could.

The men opposing your brother yelled, harsh words were exchanged, but all you could hear was a ringing in your ears. Tensions rose. Guns were raised. Blood dripped down your face and mixed with your tears. Your senses were betraying you, one by one, blending every sensation into one incomprehensible nightmare.

And then, a single gunshot rang out, making you acutely aware of the severity of the situation once more.

A scream escaped your chest as you fell to your knees, free from your brother’s death grip. You brought your hands up to your ears and squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it would all be over.

But it wasn’t over. It wouldn’t end. No matter how hard you prayed, you were still on the floor of your kindergarten classroom. Your brother was still prepared to kill you if he felt threatened. Someone was shot...someone was shot but you couldn’t bear to look. You wanted to look, you had to look, to see if it was your brother that was shot. But before you could muster the courage to open your eyes, two arms wrapped around you and pulled you into an embrace. It couldn’t have been your brother, it was much too gentle. But if it wasn’t him, then who?

It took a moment to open your eyes, but when you did, you looked up to see who was holding you. His face was kind, with dark brown eyes filled with worry as he looked down at you. He opened his mouth to say something to you, and he probably did, but you couldn’t hear him over the pounding in your head. He was a stranger to you, and yet he clung to you to keep you from seeing the mess behind you. Like he truly cared for your wellbeing. He pulled you in closer to him, placing his chin on top of your head the way your father did when you were young. It felt...safe. And all you wanted to do was collapse into him and allow yourself to feel safe. You let your head fall into his chest. You let your head fall into this stranger’s chest. And just as you did, two white patches on his left breast caught your eye. Two patches that read: Mayans, Santo Padre.

#mayans mc #bishop losa #michal ariza #riz ariza #taza #taza romero #angel reyes #ez reyes #mayans mc fanfic

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isobel-thorm · 3 years

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47. We could run away

Dealers choice? <3

Thank youuuuu. Hope y'all enjoy Mei's debut/basically 50% of all the content I've got for her rolled into one bc this shit got away from me. I forgot how to write in the last couple of months and this is a different style I wanted to try/try again. Also spoilers for Falcon and the Winter Soldier, I guess.

Bad Moon Rising

The first time he said it to her, she knew he was joking. Or at least hoped he was, considering his track record and their current circumstances.

The last few years had hardly been kind to her. She had been working as a Psychologist at a college. Her life had been simple. But then the Battle at the Triskelion had robbed her of her brother, her best friend. Sean had been shot in the jugular by the Winter Soldier himself. She had lost herself after that, and a couple of years later, Sharon Carter had recruited her to be a ‘Personal Assistant’ out of a ‘personal sense of duty to those they had lost.’ She didn’t know what that meant considering SHIELD was barely holding itself together after getting destroyed from the inside out, and Sharon had switched to another agency. But she had needed a distraction, and the pay had been twice what she had been making before.

That probably should’ve been another warning bell. But Sharon was kind and funny, reminded her of her brother on more than one occasion, and that had been enough. She’d do anything for her.

But then the Blip had happened and taken what remained of her family. She had thrown herself into work after that, and when things had been restored, she had closed herself off from everyone for fear of losing more people.

Not long after that, the Winter Soldier had shown up at her door. She had panicked at first, wondered just what the Hell she had done to earn a visit from him when she was entirely outside of that conflict.

But the Soldier had looked equally frantic, letting her slam the door in his face. He had spoken through it then, insisting she was safe, he just wanted to talk and if it was through the door, so be it. He apologized for killing Sean and ‘whatever damage it caused her and her family’ and if there was anything else he could do ‘including getting the Hell out of her life.’ It had been a strange request, but she had taken him up on the latter, telling him as much, to which he agreed and left. She hadn’t relaxed until it had been a solid hour since she no longer heard his footsteps retreating down the hallway.

The wool had started to fall from her eyes when she and Sharon had settled in Madripoor so Sharon could lay low ‘from Hydra.’ Mei’s job had been smooth sailing, calling people, making sure appointments were kept, and researching clients with the added bonus of a few self-defense and shooting lessons. “It’s Madripor, this place is dangerous, and it can be dangerous work,” Sharon had explained it away. It had been perfectly reasonable, and Mei had gone along with it.

And then one night Sharon had brought her into Lowtown and she had to come face to face with her brother’s murderer all over again, this time with the Falcon in tow.

It worked out better than the first time. Before, Mei had doubted his sincerity and figured it was a trick of some sort and he was biding his time. This time, he Winter Soldier- no, no, Bucky. James Bucky Barnes, had been truly remorseful and had wanted to right all the wrongs he had caused in his time as the Soldier. When they were in a room together he had always given her a wide berth, watched her reactions carefully any time either of them spoke one on one. It struck her bleeding heart the right way, and she was quick to accept that The Winter Soldier and Barnes were two very, very separate entities. A tool, and a tortured man. His companion, Sam, who Mei had adored after being around him for only a short time seemed to be okay with him, within reason. That had been good enough for her.

Days later, Mei had been enjoying some rare time off when Sharon had stopped by, told her to get her coat - ‘the one that matched hers’, and to follow her.

Weird, but she had gone with it, as per usual. She figured it was probably just another recon mission, making sure everybody who was who they said they were, and worked for the right people.

They had met up with Sam and Bucky within the hour, this time joined by some man in a coat that looked as comfortable as it did tacky. who looked vaguely familiar. Though she had learned in this job ‘vaguely familiar’ always meant bad news. Literally.

He had introduced himself as Helmut Zemo with a nod and a flourish.

Right. Zemo. The star of the news after the Triskelion. The one who had dropped a building down on the UN because the Avengers had decimated his country. And they were all working together under the same goal of finding this Nagel person.

Well, Sharon did say the job would be dangerous.

There had been small talk, and then men slipped into a shipping crate that some signal was coming from, and Sharon had told her they were the lookouts. Things had been fine for a minute- until a group of people had swarmed them with the intent to kill them. She had tried to hold her own, but she had been out of practice and there was only so much a few basic self-defense lessons from Sharon could do.

Sharon, in turn, had come up behind her and yanked her back when one of the men were about to skewer her with knives. She had practically thrown her into the shipping container Bucky, Sam and Zemo had gone into and then pulled her along to tell the men that they had company. And then there had been a gunshot, an explosion, and more fighting. In turn, Mei had kept her head down and hoped for the best.

The best, as it turned out, was Zemo tearing off from the group, slaughtering the rest of the bounty hunters, and showing up in an old muscle car to whisk them to safety. Mei had been perfectly ready to bolt and never see them again, but then Sharon had volunteered her services for them.

That should have been the second red flag.

Still, shock was settling into her system from being in her first firefight, so she had dutifully gotten in the car quietly, and the others seemed content to let her be until Sam had nudged her with his elbow after a while to make sure they hadn’t lost her entirely.

Zemo had brought them to an airfield, then ushered them onto a private jet and that was enough for her to guffaw and wonder just how loaded the guy was. Part of her had gotten nervous again immediately when she realized that this was an extremely closed space with the man who was known for killing sprees. But then again, he had just helped save the day, so maybe there hadn’t been much to it. She had tried to get as comfortable as possible and stared out the window, trying to zone out and let the men talk. After a few moments there had been a nudge on her shoulder and she looked up to find Zemo holding a glass of what looked like whiskey out to her.

“For the nerves,” he said, by way of explanation.

She looked skeptically from him, to the drink and back.

The man sighed in turn. “If I drugged it to try anything I’d have nowhere to go. I’m vastly outnumbered. One of yours is a super-soldier. One of mine is an elderly man flying the plane.”

She glared at the drink accusingly.

The man tutted dramatically and went to take the drink back, but after a split-second decision, she took it and downed it. She coughed at the burn. “Sam, James, if I die via poison in the next few minutes, this guy did it.”

“Because the list of other suspects is considerable,” Zemo replied drily.

Still, as far as second interactions went, well, she had had worse before.

Another few hours passed and before she knew it they had gone to Zemo’s vacation home in Latvia. It seemed far too convenient. Something felt off, but the place did look lived in the more she had looked around, and Zemo moved around the place with too much ease and familiarity to have just bought it or only used it for illegal dealings. Not to mention it was significantly better than getting shot at.

More hours had ticked by, and while Mei was grateful that the others seemed to steer clear of her (there was only so much casual talk of murder she could stomach), she couldn’t help but wonder what the Hell Sharon’s plan was. And then it paid off when Sam had ushered her out the door with them a while later, claiming it was ‘all hands on deck’ and ‘you’re the people person, we got people.’

The task was simple. Mingle and keep an eye out for people who knew anything about this Donya person. When the men had hit the streets, she had hung back, trying to see if anybody had looked too standoffish or walked off very determinately in one particular direction. However, the people around the square all seemed far too jumpy. She had gone to tell Bucky as much when she had spotted Zemo heading for a group of kids, and well, anybody would question that. She looked over towards Bucky, who had been talking with someone, and sighed. Great. She was up. And there was all sorts of wrong going on here. And when Zemo dug into his pockets and dug candy out of his pockets, she walked over double-time. She heard him then, talking about the candy he held out, “it was always my son’s favorite.”

Right, because that wouldn’t make it any less weird. She jogged over. “Hey, hey, hasn’t anyone told you it’s not good to take candy from strangers?!” she called to the kids. She went to kick the table over so they scattered, but Zemo sidestepped in order to block her off at the pass.

“No, no one has,” he hissed at her pointedly. “That is my point.”

“The Hell are you doing?” she hissed back.

“Working a lead that just fell into our laps. Nothing untoward. I wouldn’t harm children-”

“Oh, they’re off limits?” she countered. “Mass murderer’s got standards-”

“Yes. Now let me do this. You aren’t helping. Back off. Your drink was fine, was it not? Trust me with this.”

“That’s a loaded request.”

Zemo huffed, then immediately turned back to the children.

When the children looked at Mei wearily, she sighed and backed up a few steps.

Zemo sat back down and rolled his eyes. “Grown ups,” he rolled his eyes, clearly for the children’s benefit, which got a laugh out of the others. He sat back down. “We’re old friends of Donya. She passed away. Did you know her?”

One of the girls nodded eagerly.

“We’d like to pay our last respects. Do you know where her funeral will be?”

She nodded again, and when he prompted her, she whispered the answer in his ear.

Oh, that’s why he needed her to back off. The bastard. She should’ve seen that coming from miles away.

The children immediately took candy from the pile and scattered, and Mei was more than convinced that she had just signed every single one of their death warrants.

Zemo, on the other hand, gave her a pointed look, took one of the Turkish delights, popped it in his mouth, chewed deliberately, and after a few seconds of nothing, tossed his hands out. “See? Fine.”

“What did they say? Where’s the lead?”

“You must think me as bad of a glorified spy as you. I would like to keep my leverage,” he shot back, then walked back towards the exit of the square, and she scrambled to follow. “It is commendable that you were the only one of you three who cared enough about the innocent to not trust me.”

She sputtered at that for a moment until she saw how wide of a berth that had given him and jogged to keep up. Sam and Bucky eventually trailed behind, and they made their way back to the house.

Another hour passed, and Mei had set back up by the window. She had seen a few of the kids from before playing in the street no worse for wear, and Zemo had been equally unaffected. Well, there was that, at least. The man himself was in the kitchenette making tea of all things. Apparently he wasn’t learning at all, or at least was making a point that he just didn’t care. It finally, finally backfired when he held his ground on not giving up the details about the funeral, and Bucky had slapped the kettle across the room. Tension had mounted for a few loaded seconds- and then immediately broken at Sam’s interference a moment later.

Men.

Zemo had thankfully made himself scarce afterward, doing little things around the apartment when Sam and Bucky talked amongst themselves and caught up with Sharon. He had sat across from Mei after a while, offering her another cup of tea, and she had stared at it before finally, finally laughing at the absurdity of it all. “What’s with you and the food and drink?”

“I’ve been in prison for eight years. I’ve been granted this opportunity, I’m hardly going to waste it.”

“So you focus on small comforts versus what, seeing your family? Making a call? Or are they under guard from you?” she asked. It was meant to sting, a rib for the nonsense from earlier, but When Zemo went stock still in response for a moment, she suddenly felt she was barking up the wrong tree. “How old’s your son?” she continued, trying to backpedal.

Oh, she had thought there was venom in his eyes earlier, but that was nothing to the look that he gave her then. “How long have you been with SHIELD?” he asked, clearly chiding his words carefully.

“It’s hardly SHIELD. I’ve been with Sharon for… going on seven years.”

“And no one tipped you off about me?”

“Sharon and I have been juggling too much information to keep track of who’s who.”

In hindsight, that had been the third red flag, and she herself had said it. The truth had been right there, and yet she had been the fool.

Zemo’s eyes had softened just barely at the explanation. He was quiet for a moment, then, “He would have been eleven.”

Mei’s heart sunk. Would have. Past tense. She opened her mouth, an apology at the tip of her tongue. She would’ve said it if it was any other person. She closed her mouth immediately.

Zemo, apparently well aware she had picked up the implication, leaned back. “The Avengers, your people, they didn’t have a care for the innocents they hurt. My father, wife, son… they all perished when the Avengers decimated my country for the Greater Good,” he spat the last words with a level venom that matched the look he had given her a moment prior. “That came first. I did what I did for them.”

Mei floundered again for a moment, murmured a quick “I’m sorry” and then just to fill the awkward silence with anything she had picked up the kettle, poured herself a cup of tea and then pretended to find the gold edges of the glass far more interesting than anything else in the room.

The men had left again shortly after, and then an hour later they had come back with Zemo sporting a massive bruise on his forehead. A parting gift from the latest Captain America, Sam had explained. Thankfully it had been enough to keep the man quiet, as the first and only thing he did upon returning was making himself a cold compress, setting it over his forehead, stretching out on the couch and apparently calling it a day.

Swallowing a great deal of pride, she had poured him a glass of bourbon, and he had taken it with a mumbled thank you- and then, moments later. “Would either of you have taken the serum?”

Sam’s resounding “no” only beat Mei’s by a moment.

“No hesitation. On either part. Impressive.” He sat up then.

“Yeah, well, neither of us are in a great spot for America to be ready for that concept yet,” Sam pointed out.

Zemo hummed, then sat up carefully. “Sam, you can’t hold out hope for Karli. No matter what you saw in her, she’s gone. And we cannot allow that she and her acolytes to become yet another faction of gods amongst real people. Super soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”

“Isn’t that how Gods talk? And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky? Blood isn’t always the solution.”

Zemo went a little too quiet, but the other two didn’t have a moment to bring it up since Bucky walked in a moment later, heading for the kitchen. He stopped short when he saw her again and moved aside.

Mei offered him a tight-lipped smile, then moved so he could get access to the bar. He returned the smile for once, and Mei took it as progress and was about to joke as much- and then the front doors burst open. Their little moment had been shattered, but it still spoke volumes when Bucky had grabbed her arm and practically yanked her behind him - only relaxing when the intruder only happened to be John Walker, demanding to take Zemo back.

The conversation had been stunted. Zemo had wandered over to them so the three of them were in Walker’s way if the man had gone after him.

And then a silver blur came out of nowhere, revealing itself to be some sort of staff once it embedded itself in the wall.

A few women decked out in bright robes poured in. Walker had introduced himself, trying to break whatever was mounting - and then everything went to Hell again. He made the mistake of condescending the leader, and then all Hell had broken loose. The leader had attacked, and Walker retaliated, and before anyone knew it weapons were flying everywhere. A stray dagger missed Mei’s head by an inch and she drifted closer still to Sam and Bucky- until the former resigned themselves to joining the fight.

And just like she had the last time, Mei had realized that that meant there was bound to be trouble, she was on her own again even if that had just meant taking cover at this point.

Except she wasn’t the only one who seemed to realize everyone was too wrapped up in the fight at hand to keep track of it’s cause. She had seen the bathroom doors sway shut and had the brief thought that it had been strange til she did a headcount and realized just who had been missing. She had bolted for the other room, not at all willing to let him blow everything that the others had worked hard on. She’d let Sharon down, she’d let the others down - she already wasn’t thrilled with life enough, she wasn’t going to add that to the list. The second she had made it to the doors she heard the locks click. She swore under her breath and reached up into her hair to get one of the bobby pins out of the messy bun. Finally, Sharon’s little joke about always being prepared had paid off- as did her lockpicking lessons. She made quick work of the lock, only to find that Zemo had already escaped through a grate in the floor. “What the absolute Hell…” she glanced down to find the immediate area was already empty. “Ugh. Please don’t be too gross.” She made a mental note that the man owed her a new pair of shoes at minimum if it was. She dropped down through the grate and was fairly surprised and relieved to find that it was clear and clean all the way down and on the bottom - an honest to God escape tunnel that started in the bathroom of his ritzy apartment; the man was a damned Bond villain. She followed the path the water was going, and at the last moment saw the outline of someone turning a corner ahead. “HEY!”

She was only mildly surprised when she didn’t hear footsteps running away. Instead, Zemo came back around the corner, looking equal parts annoyed but resigned.

“You know if you’re going to be in this espionage line or work, you’re going to have to be quieter when moving,” he pointed out. “Heard you trailing the second I got down here.”

“What, so you stopped out of the goodness of your heart?” she shot back.

He shrugged then. “Something like that.” He nodded towards the mouth of the tunnel. “Come on. I’ve got three hours. Tops. Provided your people don’t kill each other.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’ve got no intention of escaping, Miss Reed. I know a man of my background won’t get far. You reminded me there’s something I need to do.”

She didn’t recall ever saying her last name in front of him, so she wasn’t sure if it was a threat or he was trying for forced familiarity.

“ I’ve got the jet scheduled for takeoff in an hour. I won’t lie to you. I was going alone, but i’ve got a feeling James knows where I’m headed. But if you insist on playing hero when you’re massively underprepared for such, I’ll oblige you. You might even get credit for keeping track of me. I’m sure your dear Sharon will appreciate that.”

“Right, because a stranger who’s a wanted criminal alone on a plane with an innocent woman is another brilliant look for you.”

Zemo sighed again. “I already told you, untoward is not my style.”

“Mass murder isn’t untoward?”

“Not when it’s a means to an end. There… are regrets, but not many. Now, I gave you a clue, gave James one, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to use the last few hours of my freedom effectively. You can accompany me, or you can go back into that room and become just another number in the Avengers collateral damage, or tell your friends you let me escape. Or you can follow, and there’s less damage to your reputation.”

She gawked at him, then scoffed. “I think it’ll take a hit either way.”

“Fine,” he shrugged, then reached behind him. May froze when she saw he had just pulled a gun- the Smiling Tiger’s gun from a pocket. She wasn’t sure what to make of it when he didn’t even touch anything close to the trigger, and kept it pointed at the sky. “Now you can tell them I threatened your life no matter what your choice is.” He turned back and started walking down the street.

Mei let him for a moment, and then, with a twisted realization that this exact moment was probably what everything had been leading up to, she swore under her breath and jogged to catch up. “Do not make me regret this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Not now, anyway.”

It had been yet another mark in the bizarre responses, but she had a feeling she’d find out soon anyway.

______________________________________________

And she did. After an extremely tense flight where she couldn’t sit still, they had gotten off the plane just outside of the remains of Sokovia.

He had gone to the memorial just on the edge of town.

Mei… hardly knew how to feel about that. lf the man had fallen that far to avenge his family, well, they were most definitely on his mind. It felt wrong letting him approach it and have a moment to lay his respects, but the more she thought about it, it would’ve bothered her more if she didn’t let him do it. She turned to look out at the water to give him a bit of privacy, keeping him at the edge of her direct eyeline. She wasn’t an entire idiot, she was just out of her depth.

As promised, after a few minutes, Zemo returned to her side, leaning on the dock railing. “Thank you.”

She shrugged. “I don’t think you deserve it since you caused this for people, but… didn’t sit right with me not to let you. Don’t know if that’s just optimism or foolishness.”

“Bit of both. Inexperience, I’m sure.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at the answer. He was charming in an off way; she liked him. That didn’t help things. Maybe that’s why his observation had gutted her. “You took advantage of that.”

“I would usually apologize, but…” he looked back at the memorial. “This was a need.”

That was… reasonable. And unfair. Bastard. “How’d you know my last name before?” she asked, just to move on.

“You were on James’ list,” he replied. “It’s a list of people he’s wronged, is it not? Is that why he seems to be afraid of you?”

She gave him a skeptical look. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t make a habit of reading grown men’s diaries.”

He shrugged. “I recognize some of the names. I assumed.”

What did she have to lose? The question was as much the answer. Nothing. “The Winter Soldier killed my brother, the Blip took the rest.”

“And you don’t see James as the Winter Soldier?”

“No. One's a man, one’s a tool.”

Zemo was quiet for a while, considering that answer, then, carefully: “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this world did that to us. I’m sorry our heroes are reckless. It’s a cruel world where we have to sink to their level to make a point.”

Mei looked out on the water. “Is that really how you see it? See yourself?”

“Violence begets violence. They don’t care about collateral damage. Why should I?” his answer was immediate. Rehearsed, she couldn’t help but observe. She wondered how long he had been working on that one to make it so simple abs effective. “Back in Latvia, in the square. You were the only one who cared about my intentions with the children. You did something to try to stop me. That told me all I needed to know about you,” he continued.

“That was a test?”

“You passed. Sam and James failed.”

She knew where this was going. “They’re good people.”

“Are they? I could’ve had a weapon. The sweets could’ve been poisoned. Could’ve taken a hostage. You interfered. You put yourself between me and the kids. Sam and James watched me. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

“And how many innocents did you kill in that bombing? How many fathers did you rob of their sons? You just made more of you.”

He went quiet again, clenching his jaw and choosing his words carefully. “Maybe that’s what we need. But world definitely needs more of you.”

“That wasn’t what I asked. You’re the same as the people you’re working against that way.”

“We’re all hypocrites here, then. The Avengers were formed to avenge one man. But he himself stood for an organization. His spirit lives on in SHIELD. Me? I’m a sole target. I’m a man turned movement and back. If anybody wants to take my approach at vengeance, if I die, things are settled now.”

“You sound like this Karli girl now.”

“No. She stopped being an individual ages ago. She’s entirely a cause. A decent one, executed horribly.”

Mei scoffed. “People don’t work that way.”

“And yet you just said James isn’t the Winter Soldier.”

She opened her mouth and shut it again. Shit.

“Checkmate,” Zemo mused, knowing full well he had won. The bastard. “Nothing’s black and white. it’s grey. And it’s a cycle. For all of us. Most of us are monsters here and it’s our job to see how much of that side of us we show to the world. You, on the other hand…”

“You are one messed up person, Zemo.”

“Been called worse.”

There was silence then, equal parts companionable and loaded. And then he said the most absurd thing she had heard from him yet:

“We could run away.”

She had laughed then. “Excuse me?”

“Get you away from these people so they can’t corrupt you. Get me out of the equation entirely. We could take you anywhere you’d want to go.”

There it was. That just figured. The man gave a speech that even got her wondering, only to yank the carpet out from under her. And she had a degree to prove she should’ve seen it coming. “So that’s what this is about. That was a whole con to escape?”

“Hardly. I know there’s no place to hide. James has a one-track mind. I’d be foolish to try. The escape or the offer. But you?”

“No thanks, I don’t like nice trips with ulterior motives from the other interested party.”

A small smile tugged on the man’s lips, but it didn’t land all the way. “Worth a shot,” he replied.

Mei looked away, then frowned when she saw Bucky marching towards them looking every part like a man on a mission. He stopped just in front of the pair of them, addressing her first: “You okay? He try anything?”

“I’m fine. He didn’t. Outside of pulling strings for this trip, obviously.”

“She stuck with me to keep tabs on me,” Zeno cut in, then, for good measure: “She’s the most competent one among you.”

Bucky turned his attention to Zemo. “Shut up. That your play? Working the sympathy card to get some extra time?”

The other man’s response was immediate. “You’ve got friends in high places. You could’ve gotten here sooner. You might have even beat me here. Suppose I should thank you, too.”

Bucky set his jaw, then looked back at Mei before looking at a spot a few feet behind them pointedly.

She nodded in response and strayed the few feet, figuring it might have not been the best idea to respond when Zemo said goodbye to her retreating back. And so she waited, let them talk. She wondered if Bucky would be cross after all this, if he’d tell Sharon she’d almost ruined the mission. She saw a few of the women from the apartment approaching and tensed more as they paid her no mind. Something glinted at the corner of her vision, and she had been in the field long enough to know it was a gun, and Bucky had it trained at Zemo. She looked firmly at her shoes and waited-

But no gunshot came, no bodies dropped. She looked back over to see Bucky dropping a fistful of bullets from his outstretched hand- and then Zemo, in turn, retrieved the gun he had threatened her with two hours prior and handed it over without contest.

The woman intercepted him, then took him to a ship that someone had landed in the clearing a ways away.

Bucky talked to one of them, then walked next to her.

“You gonna tell Sharon about this?” she asked.

“Nah,” Bucky replied after a moment. “Between you and me, he was onto something there. I uh… I might have done the same as you and let him have this, honestly. I don’t think he ever officially said goodbye. Or didn’t say it when he was in the right mind for it. T’Challa got his closure with his father, we got our closure with… mostly everybody we lost with Thanos. And the Avengers were responsible for all this. Who knows what would’ve happened if that didn’t go down. Hell, if he hunted Hydra he might have even been one of us.”

Mei hummed, then grinned. “Probably still would’ve been an asshole, though.”

“Oh, an absolutely insufferable one.” He agreed with a smile of his own, then nodded back towards the ship. “Come on, let’s get you back to pushing papers and sitting at a desk.” He had reached for her then, out of instinct, a feeling of familiarity, then stopped short again.

She in turn caught the doubt on his face and leaned back so he still made contact. “I thought you’d never ask.”

His smile turned relieved then, and it was one of the best things she had seen in ages.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Pushing papers and working at a desk, as it turned out, didn’t last long after that either. For once, it wasn’t entirely unforeseen circumstances though. It was the fact that apparently Zemo had struck a deal with the people in SHIELD that handled prisoners and assets on the Raft. He’d play informant about anyone and anything- so long as he spoke to her and only her.

She was back to not trusting him at all, thinking there was some ulterior motive. But then he had delivered real answers when she asked the questions they needed to know about Hydra, super-soldiers, anything. And then the Higher-Ups had been so pleased with her success with making him ‘sing like a canary’ they had added a few others to the roster, and before she knew it they had given her a job offer to act as a SHIELD Liason- a ridiculous job title, a little too easy when it came to tasks, but just like Sharon’s offer, but the pay was good- and on the books, unlike Sharon’s, and it gave her an opportunity to reconnect with her family. She had gone to Sharon after the offer, wringing her hands worried about leaving her high and dry- but Sharon had been all too eager to see her moving on to SHIELD- red flag number four, as it were, but it opened the door to her reuniting with her family, and when she had offered to work remotely for Sharon, the other woman had accepted that, too.

And so her new job kicked off. She’d spend her days with Zemo and other prisoners, wheeling and dealing and offering whatever SHIELD had told her to. The former often tried to get her to play chess, of all things, but she had refused time and time again, figuring it was some trick again, and then go home and reconnect with her other siblings a couple of nights a week.

Things were good again, but as per usual, that didn’t last. She had been on the Raft, outside Zemo’s cell getting information on a few Hydra bases when a newscaster on the radio announced that Reinstated Field Agent Sharon Carter was an enemy of the state again, wanted for revealing secrets from every single power in the world on top of that- and every single one of her associates for the last few years was wanted alongside her.

That particular news hit her like a truck. It was bizarre finding out that you were a wanted woman from the news when you didn’t even know yourself. Worse yet though, Sharon had been her best friend for years, and here it was, evidence that Sharon had apparently kept her in the dark and used her the whole time just as a means to a quicker end goal of… this. Her stomach twisted. How many of those meetings that she had scheduled or sat in for had to do with betraying people? Did her information cost anybody a life? She had been so, so stupid. She felt a head rush coming on and sat on the floor. Just when her life had gone back to normal. It wasn’t fair.

And then one of the guards had come and locked her in the wing so their hallway was essentially a holding cell, not bothering to even let her get a word in. They probably didn’t even know how to handle this.

Zemo, ever the little shit, as she was learning, who had been silent since the news story broke, made one of those faces of his, retrieved his chessboard from its spot in the corner, walked back and set it on the floor at the edge of the cell so it was technically between them. “I suppose if you’re going to be here for a while…” When she glared at him, he frowned far too overdramatically and motioned down at the board.

She sighed. “Fine. Fine.” She sat down, snatched one of the pawns setting it back down with obvious lack of care to where it ended up.

Zemo tutted. “That’s not very sporting.”

She didn’t rise to meet him that time. He took his turn, and she pushed the pawn ahead again aimlessly. After a few turns where she played completely unfocused and she took small comfort in the fact that he was getting more irritated with each turn as he watched her not care about any of the moves. So there had been an ulterior motive to the game. He was just trying to gauge her as a strategist or something. She shook her head. More turns passed, and as she continued to spiral with thoughts continuously flying that the one person she had managed to care about in ages had stabbed her in the back, her moves got more aggressive. “I should’ve taken you up on your offer,” she admitted quietly after a while.

“What, before this? Would you have played any better?”

“Not the game, you idiot. The memorial,” she corrected. Part of her was screaming at herself to shut up, this was too much information to give him, but she was hurt and figured by then she had nothing to lose. “Running away to anywhere. Away from SHIELD, all of this. Maybe washing my hands of all this would’ve been good. Would’ve been long gone from all this.”

The moves continued.

Zemo studied her a moment. “I can still arrange it.” A rook advanced.

She didn’t doubt it. He still had reach. The death of Karli’s people in a car bombing announced weeks prior that had him written all over it was proof enough. Still, that would look too much like guilt. “Not now, you can’t.” A knight, sideways and up. “Way too late.”

“You ever get tired of being so noble?” A pawn, one to the right.

“I’m starting to.” Damn it. He had made her talk too much again. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her realize just what she had admitted so she focused on the board. And then: “Oh. Checkmate.” She hadn’t even noticed she was close to it til then. She did look back at him then, because the thrill of that particular turnout took over the rest. She wondered how many people could say they beat him as his own game in a literal sense.

He had been smirking at her, ready to exploit her first response, but her second one had caught him by surprise. He looked down at the board, and sure enough, her bishop was set up to take his king. His face fell. He swore in his language, then leaned back. “Good show, Miss Reed.”

“I’ll try not to take after you and gloat.”

He touched his chest briefly, his usual unspoken ‘you wound me.’

He had taken the board back and left her alone to her own thoughts for a while after that. Days ticked by. Judging by the bits and pieces the people running the place had told her, SHIELD had spoken to their people at the Raft. They were still researching Mei’s involvement in all of Sharon’s previous dealings, and while that happened they figured considering Sharon’s past they should keep tabs on everybody involved. A guard had shown up to take her to another spot in the prison, but she had refused them, motioning at the cell across from Zemo’s. “I’ll take that one.”

“Ma’am, that’s not- we don’t- we need you in holding, not with the terrorist, let alone-“

She figured that wouldn’t have worked. She needed big guns for this one. And so she tried to channel Sharon as much as she could. She straightened out, confident but loose all at once- something she had admired til the latest news. She cut him off. “And in case you’ve forgotten, SHIELD and Hydra had a massive coup, there are still Hydra agents everywhere, probably still in SHIELD, they could be here. It could be you. And Sharon sold a lot of secrets to everybody. How the Hell should I know if I can trust anyone out there? How do I know if I can trust you? Bottom line is I can’t. So, this entire wing is empty, courtesy of Zemo’s wallet, I’m sure. And I know what he’s about. So when it comes to choosing between staying with prisoners I don’t know who might be eager to kill me or the terrorist I do know, I’ll take my chances with the terrorist.”

Christ, if her college self could hear her now.

The man gaped at her, then looked at Zemo, all but confirming who held the real power around this area in the prison.

Zemo shrugged, feigning indifference.

The guard had taken that as an answer, apparently, and brought her to the neighboring cell. They were left alone again.

And then, to add insult to potential injury, the radio station playing in the corner had switched to playing Bad Moon Rising, and she couldn’t help feeling like she had sold her soul to the devil with that arguable play of loyalty and the timing of that song and all it foretold all but confirmed it.

Then again, the deal had probably already been made far before this. Maybe even before SHIELD had looked her way.

“We’ll get you out of here. Promise.” Zemo told her after a few moments.

She looked at him skeptically, then was fairly concerned when she saw what had started off as a conspiratorial look on his face that had immediately faded to a far more serious one. But then she remembered he had failed to make that promise to his family, much less keep it. He had told her about it once during their sessions. She had started to offer a reassuring smile, then stopped short. “Wait, ‘we’? Your butler friend or that guy? He that deep in your pocket?”

His mask was back a moment later, a wide smirk, an ‘I know something you don’t’ gleam in his eye.

No. This guy was definitely part Devil. She just hopes it didn’t backfire like everything else. She supposed all she could do was wait.

#Mei Reed #Mei x Redacted #x: checkmate #bc I cant think of anything fun and short

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theficplug · 4 years

Text

{My Boyfriend Does My Makeup with Trevante}

{The YouTube Series}

Warnings: none , fluff

Trevante finally had some time off after his latest film had wrapped and although you were both private about your relationship. You decided to give your boos (your viewers) something special for 307k.

"Welcome to or back to my channel my boos. I have a special guest today. Everybody say hello to my boo bear. Who agreed to do the My Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge with me. Say hey baby." You say to him as he flashes his pearly whites at the camera and you can already tell you're going to have to filter the thirst comments.

"Hey , I'm uh Trevante y'all probably have seen me in a few things. If I seem like that familiar face that you can't put a name to. That's why. Also looking forward to playing some characters that don't die halfways through." He says jokingly at the end before giving a shy awkward little nod to the camera.

You take his hand in yours and nuzzle closer into his side to get him to relax a little.

"What I think a lot of people don't know is that even though he's always in front of the camera. He's also kinda shy and doesn't like a lot of attention on him, but unfortunately for you baby is that BOI WE FINNA BE ON YOUR ASS IF YOU MESS IT UP." You say jokingly as you set out all of the makeup and a little cheat sheet to tell him where everything goes.

You watch him break into a smile and throw his hands up.

"Ye of little faith. That hurts bae." He says pretending to be hurt with his hand over his heart dramatically.

"I'm only joking. I believe in you. Gimme kiss?" you ask before he pokes his lips out for you to press a soft kiss to his lips.

"Alright , I'm ready. Today we're gonna use the Fenty foundation? We're just gonna take Miss Riri's stuff and rub it in, all over the face. You don't really need a sponge or brush or any of that. That's all to get you to spend more money." He says to the camera as if he knows what he's doing.

You try to hold in your laughter while looking at the camera and shaking your head.

"You're doing good Tre. I feel prettier already. What's the next step?" You ask him as you watch him work. His tongue slightly poking out as he's concentrated on getting your face to look "right".

Sometimes you just get caught up in how beautiful and kind he is. He always takes care of you and tries his hardest to be involved in anything you're interested in.

"I feel you eyeing me while I work and lemme just say it's highly distracting ma'am. I'm a professional." He says jokingly before giving you a quick kiss. You tug at his bottom lip before kissing him again.

"SHE GETTING DEMONETIZED Y'ALL. We gotta keep it pg." He says before working his way down the little cheat sheet you've left him.

"If you poke me in my eye. I'm swinging." You say to Trevante as he grips your chin gently while trying to apply eyeliner.

"Y'all see how she be treating me? Gon beat my ass in front of all of y'all like that. Lemme stop before that's all over Twitter. Shhh, stop fidgeting let me get it right. " He says and you can feel the felt tip going past where the little flick needed to stop.

"How do I look baby?" You ask as you batting your eyelashes at him and watch his face scrunch slightly at messing it up.

"Hollup it's whopped on that side. Give me a wipe from over there please. . . You said earlier that you wanted to ask me some questions." Tre says to you not bopping along to the soft music playing in the background.

"If you could not love me in this way anymore. Do you think you could love me in a different way? Because you know how when some people break-up. It's so traumatic for them that they can't bare being around the person that they were with because the love there is different." You ask the heavy hitting question that came from an insta sticker. This man was actually a giant teddy bear and pouting at your question.

"For the record I ain't going nowhere. This man put a ring on it." You say giggling and waiting for his response.

"I love you in all ways , always. You know that. But, I'm tryna think about what you're asking. You're saying if weren't together no more. Could I still love you? Absolutely, we were friends before even getting together. When we met in the makeup trailer. I knew that you were going to be important in my life. And that I was gonna love you in some way. But I am grateful that I get to love you this way. I get to love you romantically , emotionally, spiritually, and (cover your ears kids) physically. I'm in love with you." He says before giving the camera a wink and blowing a kiss at them.

Your jaw drops slightly at his response. You could not be more in love with this man if you tried. You thought to yourself before leaning in to kiss his nose and then all over his face and finally his lips.

"Damn, I mean I think I like you or whatever." You say to his as he smacks his teeth and shakes his head while laughing at your response.

"I'm in love with you too Nemour. I only had 3 questions picked out. So here's my second one. When is the wedding? Someone on Instagram asked." You say to him as he nods

"We have a date and it's in my fiancee's favorite season and that's about all I can tell you on that. But I'm sure when it's all said and done she'll put a cute little video package together for y'all." He says as he applies highlighter to your nose and you look at him before bursting into laughter.

"Of course. I promise my boos will be included into the wedding somehow, but Y'ALL lemme bring the camera in please look at how this man got my nose looking like a Christmas ornament. We're going on a lil date right after this. I'm finna be looking shhmmooking hot." You say sarcastically and he couldn't even stay pressed as he breaks out into laughter with you.

"Okay so you're on the last part of my routine which is lips. So before you start I'll ask one last question from Twitter. It says what was our first impression of each other." You smile at the question remembering exactly what he was wearing and everything.

"Well I met you while working on the set of Predator. I was like damn okay lil chocolate drop. Can I get your number? No, but really I thought you were beautiful and funny and just like full of light. There were some early morning call times where I was just grumpy as hell and had to wake up at like 4am and have to hang off fake plane for who knows how long. But there you were in the trailer already dancing around to this one throwback song and giving everybody positive morning affirmations.

Just getting shit done too. I was just standing there watching you in your element. Your lil fro bouncing side to side as you swayed around getting all of your supplies together. And I remembered you ordered everybody breakfast with like Uber Eats or something. Your energy had me hooked from the start. I think I'm more of a morning person now because of you." He says as he picks out the lipstick color.

"You never told me that! That's so sweet boo bear. I was just trying to make everybody feel better 'cause those were some long ass hours. Trying to add all the lil scars and makeup and everything so early in the morning was a lot. But I got to spend more time with you so I wasn't complaining. My first impression of you hmmm. I think I was shocked at how beautiful you are! Wait , wait lemme explain. I've seen you before on that one Tyler Perry show as Ramsey before you got killed off. And just like when I found out you were going to be in that film. I was nervous as hell. And when you walked into the trailer with your beanie almost over your eyes and your headphones on like you were too cool for school. I knew I had to play it cool. I just like sauntered over to you and offered you a breakfast plate. It worked though. Cause you was grooving to Brandy too. After that I realized how you have the driest humor, and yet you are the funniest person I know. I mean like dad joke central with him. He be slapping his knee and everything y'all. But he could've been a whole comedian." You say to the camera and he waits for you to finish before he starts applying the deep plum shade of lipstick.

"My humor may be dry but you still be doing the scatter run when I do the Norbit voice." He says laugh softly at you already about to start wheezing.

"Done?" You ask him as he sits back admiring his work.

"I don't think I did too bad. Look" he says handing you the mirror as you look closely

"My lashes barely hanging on and my eyeliner doing the Cha Cha Slide but other than that I think it looks good. You did a good job baby." You say giving him a kiss as he smirks into it. Already getting the big head.

"I'm coming for your brand baby. Multi-talented." He says to the camera.

"Alright and with that I'mma end this video before his head gets even more inflated. I seen some juicer questions earlier but y'all there ain't no tea. We sexy but our own type of sexy. I gotta show y'all the photos from Halloween when we dressed as Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowry from Bad Boys... We're that couple." You say chuckling softly.

"Alright my boos, y'all know what to do. Like , comment , and subscribe if you want. Turn on the notification bell so you can know when your faves fave post again. Who knows I might get him to do the No Hands Kissing Challenge for 400k. And an OnlyFans video for 1 million." You say half jokingly as it flies over his head for a moment before the lightbulb goes off.

"I don't know about all that maybe 5 milli. Alright y'all , be kinder to yourselves and stay blessed. Byyyeeeee" He says in your voice as he does your outro and you couldn't wait to just wrap your arms around him and love on him.

#Trevante Rhodes #Trevante Rhodes smut #Trevante Rhodes fic #Trevante Rhodes imagine

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scarluxia · 3 years

Text

Let's talk about some Adventures I had in Phoenix, AZ in 2015. It came up in my FB Memories and even though I determined to let everything from last decade go, this one still rankles. I got "in trouble" with these people for being open about my experiences on my Facebook because, even though I hadn't mentioned names, they didn't like me "putting their business out there".

CW for ableism, depression, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I'll try to put all that in the tags.

My partner, Loki (yes real name), and I had been urban camping in Portland, OR for about a month. It had gotten cold and rainy to the point where we couldn't safely stay living outdoors, and Loki's father (who didn't approve of me) had demanded he come back to California and live with Loki's uncle. He made it quite clear I was not welcome, so I ended up going to Arizona because I had a friend who was willing to put me up. She and I had known each other since 2008 and I figured I would be safe with her. At the time, Loki was much more easily influenced by what his family wanted, and we ended up having kind of a nasty set of conversations over whether he was abandoning me.

While in Portland, my wallet had been stolen so I had no ID or SS card. I had reported it stolen of course, but had received no response until I was leaving Arizona.

My friend in Arizona had two young sons, a husband, and a boyfriend. Now, I have some sensory issues that make it so I have a hard time being around children. High pitched noises hurt me to my bones, like, even now I have to leave the room if my son gets overly excited and starts shrieking.

I was sleeping on the couch in the living room, which was where the kids would go when they woke up and where the TVs and entertainment consoles were.

Anyway, they wanted me to contribute to the household and whatnot but I was severely depressed and I think I've provided all the context I can remember? If the rest of this doesn't make sense, please know that there was a part 1 but it came up in my Memories on a different day and i didn't think I would be rehashing it.

So I couldn't do work, couldn't do anything anyone had asked me to do to satisfaction because various things that did not, in fact, depend on me. Maybe I wasn't being enough of a ~team player~, I don't know. But anyway, I did my best with what I had. Sometimes, because of THE EXTREME FUCKING SENSORY ISSUES THAT COME WITH AUTISM, I would get overwhelmed by the kids screaming. Two little boys, barely school age, and their parents sat them in front of a TV and gave them controllers. That's it. They had toys in their room, sure, but they weren't getting outside. I suggested taking them out a couple times, but firstly, I didn't know the area and wasn't about to go out alone, and secondly, I can't split in half and I'm not in good shape, so even if I had known the area, I wouldn't have taken TWO small children outside to run around where they could run out of the designated area. I'm kind of anal that way, I guess. But Woman A (mum) and Man B ("uncle") never got off their arses to help me take them outside, and Man A was at work.

Oh, yes, parental interaction with the kids. Woman A loved her sons very much. But at their age (3 and 5), they both should have been toilet trained. They should have gotten at least two hours outside every day. They threw fits when they weren't allowed to play video games because, instead of games being a special treat that was earned with good behavior, they were toys carelessly tossed at the kids to keep them out of everyone's hair. Conversely, and bizarrely, reading to them WAS a special treat. The father woke up, played games, basically brushed off his kids, and went to work. Same when he got home for lunch, and he *ordered* us to have them in bed by the time he got home for good. The mum did somewhat interact with them, but mostly just wanted them out of her hair. I wasn't so nice because I'm not good with kids in general and also loud screeching HURTS, IT HURTS IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP. (Same with snoring, or any noise made when I want to sleep.) This isn't me being a ~diva~, it is an actual manifestation of a mental disability.

Woman A was of the opinion that "everyone who lives in a house with kids automatically becomes a coparent", maybe because she wasn't willing to actually parent her kids herself.

Note from the future: I still disagree with the idea that "anyone who lives in a house with kids is automatically a co-parent". Parent your own kids. I don't expect my dad to parent my son when we go visit him and he made it quite clear when I was pregnant that he would not take on a co-parenting role (because his wives 30-50 years ago had handled the babies and he doesn't really know how to calm them down beyond entertaining them)

She got a really bitchy look on her face whenever I (who have been around children, especially TROUBLED children, all my life) made any sort of suggestion. Well sorry, lady, but it's not like you're doing such a great job with them. Y'all act like you barely want anything to do with them. Like they're cute and little and fun to snuggle, but actually teaching them anything? Forget about it, just toss em a controller and hope they don't kill each other in the game or real life. Meanwhile, they have no outlet for their natural physical energy, no real outlet for their curiosity. They're going to grow up stupid and sedentary, with "no one paid attention to me during childhood except when it was convenient for THEM" to deal with. The older kid recently got on meds for a condition that, from what I observed, was likely much more nurture than nature. And what everyone ate, my God, those kids were the only non-overweight people in the house, and it's little wonder! I bought ACTUAL NUTRITIONAL food for everyone, and the adults look at me like I'm from some demon dimension. I made a light comment about how I'd never eaten anything like what they had growing up. You know, boxed potatoes, veggies out of a can, white bread, sugary peanut butter. And Woman A was like, "well YOU don't have kids."

Um, no, but my father did.

I have a kid now, am working part time at min. wage because my boss sees my performance as so-so (plus she's been forced to give me a raise every time the County of Where I Live raises the minimum), in a single-income household, on as much Family With Kids welfare as My County will allow, and I still wouldn't feed my kid that crap LOL

Spoiler alert: they made me use all my food stamps on their household and then kicked me out later that month so... When I bought food I bought HEALTHY food, like, I've been on food stamps my entire life... Also, WIC specifically pays for WHEAT bread, fruits & veggies, and they do let you get peanut butter without sugar so idk what was going on there with them.

My father was a SINGLE PARENT raising a daughter in America after 20 years of living in Europe and raising kids with his previous wives. Well, up until the divorces, anyway. I was the only kid he ever got to keep. He told me things about how the others had been raised compared to how I was raised, and I saw the outcomes of different parenting styles in my peers as well. My father was a very poor man whose trade had been outsourced and who struggled to support us for years. And yet, we never went hungry, and he never fed me boxed potatoes. Never fed me sugary peanut butter, white bread, or veggies out of a can.

Ok I understand canned veggies are better than no veggies, and not everyone can get fresh, but you CAN get frozen in AZ. I always had fresh or frozen growing up.

It wasn't because we were living in the lap of luxury. It's because...

HE FUCKING VALUED OUR HEALTH OVER CONVENIENT, CRAPPY, NUTRIENT-FREE FOOD!!!! This is not a difficult concept. He ALSO read to me every night, despite having what I now realise was a very grueling day at work just to put said healthy food on the table. I didn't get to watch TV or play computer games (edu-tainment, the only kind I was allowed) until after all my homework was done. I can't remember if I was a particularly active child, but I'm sure I had the OPTION!!!! TO GO OUT.

Meanwhile, when I was at various stages of my life, I met kids whose parents shunted them from guardian to guardian because they didn't want to deal with them, kids whose parents were kind and supportive but rubbish at enforcing discipline, kids whose parents were abusive in every kind of way, and kids whose parents did their best.

You know, I wasn't raised perfectly. My upbringing lacked social grace and included some toxic ideas about womanhood that I've only been learning to overcome recently in my adulthood. But DON'T FUCKING ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING KIDS JUST BECAUSE I DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE ANY. I have my own life, the lives of my peers, and a wonderful online community of new parents raising children in kind and socially aware ways, to draw inspiration from. I can go to any one of them, and to my own parents, and ask "hey does X seem weird to you?" And they'll give me their honest opinion, which *is valuable*. I have even mapped out a general idea of how to get through some parts of my children's lives, and I'm not even planning to have kids for at least another few years. I mean, honestly, it used to be "I don't want kids ever", but dear gosh, if I can have any part of raising someone in a manner that defies procrastination culture, entitlement culture, and everything wrong with the way my husband and I were raised, maybe it wouldn't be a complete horror. If I can ensure that not all hope for the next generation is lost, hey.

Anyway, I've gone off topic...

I also had some issues with the men. Man B just didn't seem to like anything ever. I had no idea what Woman A saw in him. I remember one time he tried to tell me, a Christian, that I can't tell people what a "real Christian" is because it ~invalidates their identity~. Excuse me, no. It doesn't work that way. There are things that Christ taught, and anyone who blatantly goes against them IN THE NAME OF CHRISTIANITY, IS NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN. And yes, I realise this entire rant has been very judgey and technically I'm not supposed to do that either, but it's not like I'm saying they're going to Hell. Just that their kids are going to be sluggish and stupid, and I can't understand how these people have the gumption to try to lecture anyone else about life when they're not even TRYING to get their own lives together.

Yeah so they tried to lecture me about how I was "letting" Loki mistreat me and how I cared more about "socializing" with my estranged husband (I have separation anxiety) than helping around the house e_e They also implied I used depression as an excuse to be lazy.

Man B was supposedly "super employable." Well, okay, even though his "job hunt" seemed to consist more of sitting around playing video games, he was larger than my father (who is 6 ft tall with a protruding gut and weighs 240 lbs at last count) (My father and I are both 60 lbs above our ideal weights. But we're working on it!), and never seemed to get past the phone-screening process.

Now, Woman A told me that Man B was looking for work and that her family and some friends looked down on him for being a freeloader. Probably because she was anxious about me thinking the same. But here's the thing: I wouldn't have cared. Honestly. If you want to sit around playing games all day in your married girlfriend's apartment with her and her husband playing video games all day, go right ahead. If you want to bake three potatoes at a time and take them back to your room for a snack, hey, more power to you. But don't piss out the window and call it rain.

I don't care how employable you are, where you live, who you're living with, or what your lifestyle is like. It doesn't affect me in any way. But don't act like you're doing something you're not just to appease someone's judgmental family. That doesn't ever end well.

Now, see, I clearly have a problem with people who do that. I don't hide many aspects of myself, though I will refuse to answer a question if I feel it's none of someone's business or if they're just asking it to be a judgmental asshole. I refuse to compromise myself or my safe space to accommodate someone who can't make peace with who they are. Hell, you know me! You know my show!

Wait, this is Tumblr, so you might not know my show. It's a YouTube storyboard dedicated to processing and mocking some spiritual and psychological abuse I've undergone in my life. On Facebook, it was one of the things I was known for at the time because I was constantly posting clips and art, and trying to recruit voice actors.

I sell anyone out who I catch lying to me about anything! That's nothing new! And these people knew that about me. For SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.

So anyway. Woman A has a lot of great short term goals but no actual follow through because "I'm just not in the mood right now." No judgment there. I've totally been there. The only problem is when it gets ME in trouble.

"Let's walk the dog." "I'm not in the mood." Okay, then the dog doesn't get walked because I can't figure out my way around the place alone.

"Let's do the dishes." Woman A doesn't let me know when the washer stopped. Okay. Then the rest of the dishes don't get washed.

"Let's take the kids outside." "No I'm too tired." Okay, then they're going to be RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT SCREAMING WHICH MY EARS CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE so bye I'm just gonna borrow your room and isolate myself for a bit.

"Let's go to the gym!" "Maybe later." But later never comes.

Do you see where I'm going here? As for the men, they BOTH complain that they're "doing too much" around the house. Okay, probably fair for Man A, who works full time and deserves to come home to a clean house. But Man B. Wtf. You literally do nothing, except when you do, and when you do, we're meant to throw you a parade? That's not how adulthood works, or so I've heard.

Note: All three of these people are older than me. I was 24? at the time, fresh out of trade school, on my own for the first time in my life. (Maybe 2nd? I ran away when I was 17 but ended up with my grandparents so idk if that counts.) Woman A was 26 at the time and had been married since 2008, had experience with office work and parenthood, etc. Both men were older than her. I was a chronological adult with the life experience of a teenager, so I felt comfortable saying that.

So did I mention that I'm sleeping in the living room during this stay? And the adults don't go to bed until like 2 AM, which means, because of my disability, wherein I cannot sleep if there's any sort of non-ambient noise, *I* don't get to sleep until AFTER 2 AM. And the kids? They come in the living room screaming at 6 AM. Yep. Okay. Living on 4 hours of sleep, for the mathematically challenged. That and dealing with the emotional turmoil of being separated from my husband when I've got high separation anxiety in the first place. All my pain, everything, it's up to 11. and I'm supposed to contribute but there's not really anything that allows me to contribute.

So what do they do? They ambush me. Call a "family meeting" to tell me absolutely everything that's wrong with me, after WEEKS of telling me what a big help I am and how grateful they are to have me around. Tell me I'm letting my "social life" get in the way of me helping around the house. Hmm. Social life. You mean, VENTING IN MY SAFE SPACE (Facebook, no names named) AND TRYING TO MEND THINGS WITH MY HUSBAND??????????????? Okay. Well since you guys treat your woman like shit, you clearly don't understand or appreciate devotion to one's spouse. Seriously. Woman A told me she used to have extreme separation anxiety with Man A, and that he would brush off her emotions as irrelevant. Her solution was to make it a poly relationship and take a lover WHO TREATS HER THE EXACT SAME WAY. I'm serious. She got no emotional support from either of them. They basically just threw pills at her and trained her to lie down until her feelings went away.

And she had the gall to lecture me (24 at the time) about how Loki (19 at the time & from a pretty horrific family) treated me. LOL ok. Log. Splinter.

As she knew, I'm monogamous. I do have some opinions on polyamoury based on individuals I've gotten to know who are in those types of relationships, but those opinions are irrelevant to this series of rants. Except one, which is pertinent: if you're going to take another lover, they should provide something that your existing lover(s) don't. If you're suffering from low emotional support and you just find someone else who doesn't emotionally support you and who treats you like a child who can't be trusted??? What are you even DOING? Like, she told me NEITHER of her men trust her judgment. What the fuck is a relationship without trust? And don't even try "dick too bomb" as an excuse when you tell me you haven't gotten laid in months and your husband is using your condoms on Woman B.

They don't support you. They don't trust you. And yet YOU'RE telling ME that things with my husband won't get better unless I follow your lead and take another lover? HELL TO THE NO. My husband has his faults, but if I tell him Person X can be trusted, he believes me.

Except for his ex-girlfriend whom he tried to add to our relationship when he tried to be poly, months later. That went Badly.

Or maybe he just knows I'll deal with them myself, with my hot, hot temper, if they turn out not to be trustworthy. He also doesn't treat me LIKE A CHILD. And while I sometimes point at things and make small motions when I can't physically talk, or sometimes even use baby talk when I'm feeling cutesy, I DON'T POINT AT A PIECE OF PAPER AND GO "THE CARRRRRR!!!!" IN AN INCREASINGLY HIGHER PITCH BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY, "Honey, I think we missed the car payment this month. Can you double check while the agent has you on hold, please?"

Okay, being a dick about losing words due to stress was not my finest moment, but at the time, I was just so appalled by how they treated her and how she allowed them to treat me.

So basically these adults who are nowhere near having their lives together, and aren't even really trying, put me on blast for not having everything running perfectly when THEY expected it to.

Let's reiterate. I couldn't get a job because I had no ID or social security card. I was waiting for them to be returned to me. I couldn't walk the kids or the dog, go to the gym, or complete all the household chores because no one would guide me. I need that guidance because of various components of my disability, which I really hate admitting to because I'm super fucking prideful, but I figured hey, she's not neurotypical either. These people will understand.

Their response when I brought this up? "You're an adult. You should know better." Sure, okay. But you should know that a child ought to be potty trained before he turns 5, or even 3; that kids need to run around, are entitled to their parents' attention and consistent discipline, and need!!! healthy!!!! food!!!!

Oh, discipline! So, she would send Older Boy to his room over misbehaving. But rather than enforce time-out, she'd go, "oh, I think I'm being too haaaard on him," and just... Relinquish. He's not about to learn anything that way, ma'am.

They called me trying to reconnect with the person I love more than almost anyone on this earth "obsessing over your social life". Well again, you treat your woman like shit, so MAYBE my undying devotion to the person I love goes a LITTLE bit over your head.

They told me that the household should be my first priority. Except no, because I am an autonomous person and my FIRST PRIORITY is, was, and ever has been the love of my life, whomever that may be at the time. That is 70% of my personality. I'm pretty sure anyone who had ever met me can vouch for my extreme devotion, and this woman had known me for SEVEN. YEARS. I'm not going to throw away 70% of myself to do an impossible task that no one will help me with.

They told me a lot of things I wasn't doing right, and for those of you who also struggle with anxiety and depression, you know that being told for weeks that everything is okay and you're so great and so helpful, and then being told that you're rubbish at everything... You know that that is hurtful. Devastating, even. I wanted to kill myself. I said that. I said that and expressed my feelings about some other things, in my safe space, without naming any names.

And even though I was posting in my safe space, I was polite about it. I was as gentle and rational as possible. I wasn't calling anyone out. Not like I am now. I wasn't trying to lead a witch hunt. I was just overwhelmed and trying to express my feelings. Trying to get myself not to kill myself. I had to tell myself over and over again that it's not what Loki would want for me.

In the morning, they woke me up and kicked me out. Said it was rude for me to say I don't care about their household. I never, NEVER said that. I said "Loki is my first priority." Something along the lines of "that's just how I am and I shouldn't be vilified for it." That doesn't mean I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. IT JUST MEANS THAT MY PRIORITIES WILL *NEVER* BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS THEM TO BE. I AM A PERSON. I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT TO PRIORITISE, AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. MY NAME IS *SIGYN*. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES EXPECT?! WHY THE HELL SHOULD YOU HAVE FELT THREATENED BY ME SAYING ANYTHING IF I DIDN'T NAME NAMES AND WAS ACTUALLY RATIONAL? IF YOU SAW THIS, *MAYBE* YOU WOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PISSY, BUT NOT THEN!

They kicked me out after having asked me to buy them all food. I had used up all my food stamps. Because I hadn't anticipated this at all. I hadn't known they would take such offence to my existence, to my ways. To the fact that I value the man I married more than I value... Whatever they wanted me to value, I guess.

Fun fact: I ended up in a women's shelter after this, and one woman told me to actually kill myself because she was tired of hearing me cry at night.

They said I hadn't made any effort to get my life on track. Because I can just snap my fingers and make my ID appear. Because I can just manifest the money for a replacement. They said all these things that left me almost unable to breathe, in retaliation for me posting that I was suicidal.

Later, Woman A told me that this had been a long time coming and that they were trying to make room for Woman B and Woman C, both of whom were willing to have sex with the men, which is something that I would not. I feel the first woman I met at the shelter was accurate when she said they basically kicked me out because I wouldn't sleep with them.

I also later found out that my ID and SS card had been returned to sender. The Portland PD called me and told me. So my father came to the conclusion that the people I had been staying with sabotaged me from the start. For a while, I didn't feel it, but last night I dreamed about it, and the dream made me angry. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. And I really had to get all this off my chest, so for those of you who didn't immediately whip out your tiny violins, thank you.

#ableism #depression #rejection sensitive dysphoria #sensory sensitivity #child neglect #child abuse #resource insecurity?#i forgot about the part where someone tried to mansplain Christian gatekeeping to me #emotional abuse #polyamory but make it toxic #suicidal ideation

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iamknicole · 5 years

Text

Fan

Bloodline Family Series

A/N: Warning.... this isn't gonna be pretty.

"I'll be fine," Haleigh laughed into the phone. She thanked the person holding the door for her, not bothering to pay much attention to who it was. "I come here all the time this late. I've gotta get these songs out, KoKo."

"Is Messiah in town?" Koda asked clearly frustrated with his sister.

"No, he's in Seattle. I'm fine," she reiterated stepping into the buildings elevator. "I'll call you when I'm done and headed home."

"You drove there?" Koda asked sucking his teeth. "Look, ima call Mama or Auntie A to come there with you."

She laughed at how overprotective Koda is.

" It's almost 1am, Mama is not about to bring the trips out with Daddy gone and Auntie is not about to get up. You know she probably sleep."

"Fine but be careful. And call me before you walk out that building. I don't care what time it is."

After Haleigh agreed to call her brother, she hung up the call just as the elevator came to a stop to let her out. Her head was down when she exited the elevator, sending a text to Messiah and Ardian.

To My Siah:

Great game, babe. Can't wait to see you 😍😚

To Baby Daddy Ardi:

I hope you and my babies are ok. I miss y'all. I'll pull up. And.... I'm sorry for just walking out on you. 😧😢💙

The engineer was waiting for her inside the studio. He left hey with a few instructions and well wishes before leaving her by herself. Checking her phone she found messages from Koda, Roman and Messiah but nothing from Ardian. Apart of her knew he wouldn't text her back but she hoped.

Three hours and two songs later, Haleigh felt better. All the stress, the thoughts and the emotions she had were out and in lyrical form. There was more written down in her notebook but this would do for now.

She gathered her things and shut everything down better heading out. She called Koda while she waited for the elevator not wanting to hear his mouth about not calling. The siblings talked ass she walked through the building and parking lot.

"Hey, you're Halo, right?"

Haleigh switched the phone from her right hand to her left to look at the stranger talking to her and smiled. He was standing at the back of her SUV with his hands in his pockets. The lights in the parking lot illuminated their faces. She ignored Koda telling her tii get in the car and confirmed her identity.

"This is so dope. I'm your biggest fan," the Caucasian male said happily. "Can I please get a picture with you? I thought that was you earlier but I wasn't sure."

"Yeah," she nodded going over to him, "Why didn't you speak? I would've spoke back."

"You were inn the phone, I didn't want to interrupt. You thanked me, that was enough."

Haleigh put Koda on hold to take the picture, or her phone in hey pocket then hugged the fan. "Make sure you tag me in that picture and make sure I look cute in it."

"Most definitely! Thank you again, Halo."

"You're welcome, hun. Have a good night."

Haleigh put the phone back to her ear before climbing up into her SUV. She switched their call to the car Bluetooth then pulled out.

"Stop bein so fuckin friendly, Hae."

"What? You wanted me to be mean and tell him no? It's not his fault this is the time he ran into me, Koda."

"It's 3 in the morning. He could've been a weirdo or some shit," Koda complained loudly.

"My fans are not weirdos."

"You've read the comments under your pictures, so I know that you know that's a lie, Haleigh."

Haleigh rolled her eyes cruising through the pretty much empty streets. "Well, it's done now and we can't undo it. And where is your fiance? Shouldn't you be in bed with her?"

"She's sleep. I would've been too but my sister took her ass too the studio this late at night."

"Well, I'm almost home now so go on and go to bed. I love you, big head."

Koda sighed hard. "Love you too. Text me when you get in the house and lock up tight."

"Sir, yes, sir, " she joked them disconnected the call.

Haleigh called Ardian as she walked to her porch. It felt odd not speaking to him for so long. She just wanted to hear his voice. And something didn't feel right. She stood on her porch waiting to hear his voice.

"I'm sleep, I call you back," he mumbled into the phone before hanging up.

Humming lowly to herself, Haleigh dropped her phone in her purse and unlocked her front door. Just as she turned the key, she heard footsteps behind her. Her purse feel and most of the contents spilled onto the floor. The next thing she knew she was being pushed into her house. She tripped from the force, catching her balance before she hit the floor. When she turned around she was face to face with the fan from the parking lot.

"You need to leave. Now!" She yelled rooted to her spot.

He smiled small. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you got in okay. It is pretty late."

Haleigh’s eyes burned wishing she had just stayed home or bright someone with her. She hated that she was avoiding Ardian, he would usually come with her. But then again, had she not been avoiding him she would have needed to go to the studio this late.

The fan took a step towards her, she took one step back.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I just," he sighed, "I wanted to see you in."

"You've seen me in, now leave," she demanded moving back from his attempt to touch her.

He shook his head. The smile turning into a slight frown. "Don't be rude. I'm looking out for you, Halo. I love you. Don't you love me?"

"I don't know you! Leave!"

"You do. I'm Todd. I go to all your shows, I tweet you and tag you in anything I think you'd like."

The name clicked in her head. The few times she's gone through her comments his name came up a lot, he came to any signing he could and he was always popping up on her Twitter feed. Her management and her family knew about him as well.

"Did you follow me, Todd? That's not okay. I don't like that."

She figured yelling wouldn't work so she tried to reason with him. Silently praying it would work.

"No? I just wanted to protect you. Anyone could harm you, ya know? I was helping."

She nodded wiping her tears away. "Okay, you've helped. Now please leave."

Todd stepped forward, grabbing Haleigh to him before she could back away again. She struggled against him. "Don't I get a thank you?"

"Thank you," she said softly.

Fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks.

He stared into her eyes, a small smile on his face. Todd loved her. Loved her more than he should have. Without a second thought he kissed her, trying to ignore her fighting him off. Haleigh but his tongue when he pushed it roughly into her mouth prompting him to break the kids and push her away. As soon as her body hit the floor, Haleigh scrambled away from him leaving him checking his bleeding tongue and she spit his blood out as she ran to her room. Todd ran after her, getting to her closed and locked bedroom door and started to bang on the door.

Haleigh went into her walk in closet, locked it and started to search for her back up phone. Roman had given it to her months ago and her being the person she is tossed it somewhere completely forgetting about it.

She jumped as the banging got louder and couldn't control her crying. Her hands shook so bad that she could barely look through her things. When she found the phone there was a loud boom letting her know he'd broken the door down. Still her hands shook as she dialed the 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"There's someone in my house and they won't leave. Please help me," she said info a shaky and strained voice.

"What's your name and are you somewhere safe?"

"Haleigh Reigns. I'm in my closet."

"Is the person near you?" The operator ask trying to locate the call.

"Yes, he kicked down my bedroom door and he's trying to get in here." Haleigh screamed from Todd kicking at the double doors. "He's gonna get in! I need help!"

"Are you at 736 Keyes Drive?"

She screamed out again. "Yes!"

"Stay on the phone, sweetheart. The police are on the way. They're term minutes out."

It didn't matter that they were on the way, he'd gotten in. Haleigh was terrified and screaming. Todd was angry at her for running away. He snatched the phone and threw it at the wall, shattering it.

"Look at what you made me do, Halo. Why'd you make me do that?" He asked taking slow steps towards her then snatched her to him. She cried and screamed for help. "Stop screaming!"

"You're hurting me. Let me go."

"No! You think you're too good for me? Is that what you think?" He asked pushing her to the ground and straddling her. "We'll see about that."

Todd mumbled to himself then cocked his fist back fully prepared to hit her. Her cries almost stopped him. Almost. He punched her face and torso repeatedly ignoring her pain filled screams.

When the police came in and found Haleigh, Todd was gone. He left Haleigh unconscious, battered and bloody on her closet floor. One of the cops recognized her by the pictures around the house and cursed to himself. He knew her, he knew her parents even better. He volunteered to make contact with them while the paramedics rushed her to the hospital.

#bloodline family series #haleigh #ardian & haleigh #ro & kandice

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Not that I don't appreciate the gesture Janis: But you didn't need to go full Van Gogh to get my attention, like Jimmy joined the chat 5 hours ago Jimmy: Not my first thought when I decided on giving you the finger either like Jimmy: Suffering for my art on day one though. #committed Janis: Says even more about your artistic temperament, that Janis: Gotta be to something eh now we're officially on the radar for being on the rocks Janis: Are you okay forreal though? Playground stories vastly differing from a scratch to amputation Jimmy: Yeah. Could ask you the same since there's no grapevine for me to rely on about the Janis Cavante enigma Janis: What can I say? If only the game hadn't gone to shit Janis: I'm alright, just family stuff Jimmy: 👌 Janis: When you gonna be my mate again? Janis: I'm sorry for whatever I said that got to you but I can't un-say it now, can I? Janis: I didn't mean to get so heavy, like, you know I was hanging Jimmy: When have I ever been your mate? 😏💕😍 Friendzone better than no zone but #savage Jimmy: Cheers for the warning, bit late but Janis: Shut up Janis: OBVIOUSLY I was just gonna seduce you when I saw ya again Janis: but you gotta ruin it 😕 idk, are you even committed to the #goal anymore? Jimmy: why your surprised? Got form at that, don't I? Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: Course I am #rideordie obvs 😎 Janis: Not that I recall 🤔 Thought I was the one that couldn't read a situation Janis: Why you coming for my 👑? You've got no chance I'm FAR more hopeless than you Jimmy: You don't get to take that win. Sorry 🏆💪 All mine Janis: You're impossible 💘 Jimmy: Missed you too 💕 Janis: Maybe a tad 😉 Janis: If I tell you I did and no faking Janis: You gonna put the knife down? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: What you being a prick for? Janis: Not gonna let you off that easy soz Janis: Use your words Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm still a prick though. Sorry. You won't get off that easy 😏 Janis: Yeah but that's how I like you Janis: Weren't working under some illusion you were alright like Janis: so what's up??? Jimmy: Nothing now Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: 😤 Janis: Aside from talking to a brick wall I'm grand, boy Janis: Trying to wrack my brain for what I did or said...any hints? Jimmy: It was nowt I'm just a moody git Jimmy: don't worry about it Janis: Nah it wasn't Janis: 'Cos I was in a mood that day from the off and you were trying for ages Janis: and I don't think you were just mardy at me for spoiling the day 'cos you know I'm a prick too Janis: No surprises Jimmy: It wasn't you. My dad just does my head in, you know Jimmy: all that shit Janis: Alright, makes sense Janis: When he finally rolled in was he solo then? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: Could've given you warning but 'course not...was Bobby in bed at least? Jimmy: Not your fault Jimmy: Yeah, with me, thankfully. He hasn't gone in me dad's room for ages Jimmy: Cass of course knows it all Janis: Still Janis: That's one good for now at least then Janis: Yeah no fooling her...I thought she seemed off when I was coming to get Twix but not enough that I clocked Janis: That's shit, Jim Jimmy: Except she thought the woman was a prozzie, asked her how much pops was paying and all that Jimmy: Funny but not facts Jimmy: no chance of paying her off Jimmy: What's going on at your gaff then? Janis: Oh God Janis: point 1 to Cass 😂 Janis: Know I shouldn't be laughing but Christ Janis: Not trying to be #fitandmysterious about it but it ain't my shit to tell Janis: Nothing that ain't survivable just something shit but that's par for the course init Jimmy: Go on, I had a good laugh. Still am. Gotta, like. Jimmy: Yeah. With you there Jimmy: Twix probs won't take no for an answer but she's a good secret keeper so it'll be alright Janis: Yeah, if your life Da insists your life has gotta be a hilarious evil step-witch Disney romp Janis: May as well be in on the joke Janis: Twix could really stir the pot if she wanted Janis: get me to herself like she really wants Jimmy: Don't suppose you fancy a front row seat do you? My dad's talking about having her over for dinner and if Cass can't put a stop to it, I think she'd like you there Jimmy: Bring Grace too if you want, Bobby hasn't shut up about her. Like she's his girlfriend or something Jimmy: Once Twix gets under the table the woman'll be well outnumbered Janis: Bless him, he really cheered her up too Janis: Would be mildly amusing to outshine his big news with that wtf pairing, sure Janis: I can be there, if Cass wants Janis: Great at fucking up family dinners, like Jimmy: #therealOTP Jimmy: Gracie doing alright now, yeah? Barely recognised her at the park before Jimmy: It's been a while but I think I can still remember how to do it too. I got your back Janis: Yeah, she'll be alright, just a bit of a rough time rn Janis: Same tbh but gotta be like riding a bike Janis: we so good at fucking up other stuff yeah? Jimmy: Gotta be, she managed to look down at Tammy earlier, no easy feat Jimmy: Yeah 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: She's well shot of her Janis: although she's just the monkey not the organ grinder Janis: need the rosetta stone to talk to you sometimes boy 🙄😂 Jimmy: If that's your way of telling me you're magic, I'm not surprised 😜 Jimmy: Love it if you cursed Mia this term tbh Janis: You'd think that face was curse enough Janis: 😑 Janis: but y'all have 0 standards Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Mine are 🥇 Jimmy: wouldn't even fake date her, mate Janis: Well you talk a big game but don't you always Janis: #allforshow? Janis: Oh I forgot, just tall Tam who made the cut was it? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: shut up Janis: Nah don't be ashamed we've all got a past to rip the piss out of Janis: At least you didn't end up sharing a lad with your sister Janis: Thanks for that one Gracie 👍 Jimmy: Still time, Cass don't even like lads yet 👍 Janis: Why would you wish your taste on poor Cass? Janis: Don't even 😂 Jimmy: Too late, mate she's already loving ya Janis: 1/3 ain't bad 💪 Jimmy: I'll let her know Janis: I would aim for the full set but Gracie cockblocking again so 🤷 Jimmy: Gotta step your game up, mate. Jimmy: Such a loser like Janis: Excuse me Janis: you're 3/3 by default don't shout about it Jimmy: 😎 Janis: wanna try for my full set? Janis: doubt it Jimmy: Bring it on, hun Janis: did you just hun at me Jimmy: yeah, channeling my inner Gracie since she bested TT and I just got the 💋 of death like Janis: tragic 💅 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: what we doing now i'm outta school early Janis: Hmm Janis: Picking up where we left off? Or new challenge? Jimmy: I'm always about trying new stuff 👍 Janis: Ooh Janis: Adventurous Janis: #keepingitfresh Jimmy: 😏 gotta now we're #keepingitreal Janis: can't let the haterz just hate can you? #winningemback1hashtagatatime Jimmy: Such a winner, can't help it Janis: Pfft. Jimmy: you coming to find me then? left you a blood trail and everything Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Who could resist such a sexy offer? Janis: I've got to get out of this lesson first Janis: Time me Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: go Janis: *Should have asked where he was, but it was too late for that now and thus, just another part of the game. She wasn't losing by default of asking, thanks. Logically, wasn't going to make her go anywhere near the Head or the classrooms...So that left the smoking hole, already waiting outside the gates or...the bogs? Best place to check first before venturing out. There was the lot in the Science block, the ones in the Humanities and the ones upstairs. If only she was as obsessed as she felt on her bad days to have his schedule memorized so she could pick the most likely of the lot. As it was, she just made it to the closest, like she had a place to be. First lot was a bust, just someone having a sneaky shit and keeping dead silent in reply to her 'Jim?', oops, soz mate. Exiting sharpish, Janis jogged down the corridor to the next, seeing him as soon as she entered, checking himself out in the mirrors; She smirks, walking over to the sinks and seating herself down on one to face him. She grabs his hands (gently) to assess the damage (not too bad, thank God), cocking a brow.* How'd I do? Jimmy: *Once the app's pressed, his phone's away and he's focused on his own (self imposed) race against time. The clean up. The sooner this bollocks was done the faster they could get out of here and onto the next. Whenever and whatever that is. Jimmy didn't try and guess, how things have been panning out lately like. He knows, without glancing down at his hand that it looks worse than it is, and easy to sort. No chance of calling what's happening with him and this girl anything close. Jimmy shrugs, to get it out of his system, he tells himself, 'cause no more of that shit. Not for a bit, after before. Then shakes his head, uninjured hand running through his hair. The briefest flash of a smile that there's no shame in. He's just glad she's willing to show up again and 'cause she is, he won't let himself keep slipping. Try hard move, but how he feels. There's more of the same when he hears someone come in, realizing it's her, and moves closer, hands still connected until he's standing between where her legs dangle off porcelain. It's a position to tease if he wants, and probably he will, keeping that familiar tone going for as long as they'll both allow, but first he answers her question, pulling his phone out with his own raised eyebrows poised. * 6 flat. Not bad, mate. * He breathes it out, counting himself, up to the moment when he kisses her. Fast enough to shut her up before she can make any claims to victory, yeah, but mostly he just wants to. Slowly. Needs to. She's earned it by being here. Or he's owed it for getting too far in the line of fire. It doesn't matter. Not yet.* Janis: *Janis inhales sharply as he moves closer, holding the breath in tight as so to hold him in place too. Stay. It's not just a matter of closeness though, is the problem. With a Family like hers, you were used to touchy-feely, (back in the day, when she still allowed it from any of 'em, like), but this was about the places he was able to get close...Where no one else ever had. And she wasn't just being literal, all relevant body parts ignited by his touch, it was the other shit too, head space and fucking...soul space, occupying space and time in her life she'd given to no one before him. It was terrifying, 'course, it was also fucking exhilarating. Why else would she? Up for the challenge, yeah? In this moment, here and now, absofuckinglutely. Try and stop me. Doubts and dread could be saved for later, when he was gone again. Something about him demanded her full attention, and she didn't hate the distraction of it, of him, AT ALL. She laced her legs 'round his back using them to pull him closer still. But she won't be the one to start it. She still can't. Not got the bottle to be sure he wants it too. Tragic, as her twin would say. Sure she'd feel more tragic if he pulled back, though.* New record, I reckon... *Barely focused on her own words as she murmurs them into his ear, thin fingers running through his dark hair, messing up what she had caught him fixing.* I like you better like this. Jimmy: *He meets her first unspoken challenge immediately, his easiest yet. Pushing as she pulls, but not away, both of them in a rhythm that only hurts a bit, from his hand, safe to ignore (like he gives a shit right now if it was about to fall off). No other alarm bells, thank fuck, 'cause that's sorted. Done. Jimmy grins into her skin as her softly spoken words tickle his, eyebrows raising themselves to let her know he's unconvinced, that what he 'reckons' is that he could beat it. (If it means getting to her.) Another bet he's ready to place if it's ever laid down. *You do, do you?* His tone has a smirk in it, seconds before it reaches his face, changing the smile as he moves effortlessly, no need to stretch as his own fingers retrace the path of hers, on her, until the ponytail she had in is loosened and the curls falling free. *Touche* Janis: *She laughs softly, this lowering the risk of omitting any other noise, more incriminating AND more shaming, so she reckoned. Bemused face to match, challenging him to 'be careful!' and praying he'll ignore her, breaking School property or falling on her arse be damned, frankly. Janis tuts the kind of 'oh, please! tut of someone not at all interested in having him leave even just so to come back as fast as possible. No more running. Not today. She tightens her grip on him to say as much, tugging playfully at his hair as he messes with hers.* Oi! *She allows it though, enjoying the relief of letting out the too-tight hairband, literal letting down of the hair how cliche they were...Who cares? Not her. She plays otherwise though, pouting like a stroppy kid and blowing a wayward curl out of her eyes.* Look what a mess you've made, boy... *She smiles, bending her head down, curls falling and exposing the nape of her neck, to 'kiss it better'. Light kisses trailing the slip of his knife, even though it was still a bit bloody, she liked the metallic taste of it and pale red stain he left on her lips. She looks up, bigger smile still. God, she wanted him so bad.* Jimmy: *Damn. There's things running through his mind that he could do to 'get her back for this' or 'raise the stakes' and about as many that he shouldn't, like how simple it'd be to 'clean up' again by letting the tap run and flicking as much water as he can whilst not letting go of her a millimeter. That thought could fuck right off. Stupid risk. He doesn't want either of them to cool off and it's too late for that seconds after. So he thinks then, much as he can form any coherent thoughts with THAT happening. A shuddering breath slips out (that she'll no doubt call a moan to ensure her victory when her mind's back on that) covering the sound of the bathroom door opening. Until there's an explosion of noise. Shit. Still existing purely on reactions, empty headed and dizzy, he lifts her off the sink, pulling her protectively against his side in the same movement. His body won't do anything else that it's supposed to, chest too tight and airless to get any words out, defense or attack. Just as well when he finally realises who it is. Fucking hell. All the same, the urge is there to run, persistent and he shoots her a look, daring her to listen to his idea instead of the teacher's rant. This challenge is probably one too far, but anything from Janis and he'll get it done, making sure they both get out.* Janis: *Another cliche, everything happening so fast that it feels like you're running (crawling more like) on slow-mo. Its like they're so fucking close to closing the last of the space but in the seeming eternity between this desperately needed contact finally happening, someone has managed to barge in and spoil everything before Janis had chance to blink. If it had been another kid, (depending on who, of course), she probably could have told them to piss off and then they could continue but that 'someone' being a teacher did somewhat bring her back down into harsh reality with a dull thud. That, and Jimmy lifting her off the sink with lightning speed reaction. Nice. She hid her appreciative smirk, vowing to show him just how appreciative she was when they were alone again. However, she still managed to catch his eye, and catch on to what he was silently saying as teach got louder and louder, realising they weren't listening to him. It was now or never. Realization jolting her back into the here and now, she took his (good) hand (much to the horror of Mr. Lucas when he clocked it, too little too late) and squeezed it tight to say 'Leg it!' And she did just that, pulling Jim with, exit in sight.*

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