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higheldertala · 2 years

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revolution of the daleks salt commentary

guess how many times they say the word dalek in this episode? (answer at the bottom)

funny how ch*bnall delegated the daleks as the holiday special villians and yet he still can’t get the ratings

this isn’t a specific ch*bnall problem, but i cannae stand the daleks sorry to be a fake fan :/ please can we put them away, seriously what more is there to say?

i hate how this episode was marketed as the doctor being out of the action and therefore the companions would be saving the day… but this is a ch*bnall episode so of course that didn’t happened. anyway on with the episode.

we don’t need to rip off star wars do we now? like why is this needed? nothing about this episode is based off or parodying star wars. you could just have a ‘previously’ or a ‘two years ago’ caption. thanks for reminding me how shit resolution was tho.

also to answer the question about whether i give a fuck about what happened to the reconnaissance dalek two years ago… no i don’t. tough shit for me i guess cause there’s 70 minutes of this :/

why is the text orange? choices were made here.

character work is when you have a side character say ‘i have a family’ then die.

also yeah this woman poisoning this guy is very contrived, like how would this woman know this guy would stop at this specific spot? also who does she work for? i assume robertson, but how does he know about the dalek and the transit? also when this guy goes missing when transporting an alien death machine wouldn’t that raise some alarm bells? god were only two minutes in and the plot is already falling apart, that must be a record.

you know how i complain about things happening off screen and the characters just saying the thing that happened offscreen, well for once i would actually prefer it they had done this this time instead of spending 10 whole minutes of this of characters i don’t give a shit about.

yay more social commentary being spelt out right in front of you(!)

also on my daleks are overused point, like it’s annoying how people just forget about the daleks in universe. not a ch*bnall specific problem but annoying nonetheless.

i’m sorry but it’s crazy that no one checked these dalek drones for secret guns they had.

i can’t believe how long the start of this goes on for without showing any of the main characters, but what’s pacing lol. a whole 8 minutes in til we see the doctor.

aside from the writing cliche of putting a character in prison when you don’t know what to do with them, this lasts all of a few minutes, god it’s pointless.

‘you can’t eat the cage. believe me, i’ve tried’ this is the funniest bit in the episode. even more funny the subtitles say ‘SIGHS’ from the pting.

these prison scenes are so dull. i presume that’s the point, but there’s so much more you could do with this concept.

on broadcast i thought the doctor was gonna recall a serial from classic who which would have been a much better decision. choices were made when ch*bnall decided to quote jk terfling.

first lense flare of the episode.

‘she was barely in here for a couple of minutes and yet she coded the entry lock to our dna’ and the point of this dialogue was….?

follow her? where? also she’s presumed dead. also going back to the timeless children, why the fuck would they let ko sharmus go out on his own and not one of them go out for the doctor. again no fucking loyalty but i digress.

also i wish at any point we were shown that yaz is the most desperate to travel and/or wants to be with the doctor.

‘what if she needs us?’ she doesn’t, you literally don’t do anything.

‘how many times has she saved us?’ i repeat myself from last episode, but like once lol.

how do they find robertson? is he conviently in sheffield? did they travel? i suppose it doesn’t matter and i don’t have the energy to care.

‘so we’re going to have to find another way’ so you mean sit around and wait for the doctor to come back. actually laughable that this is all the fam can achieve (nothing) without the doctor’s presence.

‘this is hard innit?’ YOU HAVE BEEN COMPANIONS FOR TWO SEASONS. literally the worst companions ever, please leave.

so with jack saving the doctor from prison, am i wrong in saying that the fam have never saved the doctor from any situation? lol. im pretty sure every companion has had at least one instance of saving the doctor during their tenure. or like at least 90%.

the prison scenes literally take up 5 minutes of screen time.

how does this tech guy know how to do successful alien cloning? like nah sorry im gonna need a bit more for this one.

lol another ‘i have a family then dies’ side character, does chibnall not know how to write any other way?

‘you don’t have a room, you’ve never had a room’ im sorry does she think jack slept on the fucking floor? i don’t believe this for a second, why does she say this???

i love how jack’s entire reaction to learning that the doctor went against his warning and gave ashad the cyberium is the single word: ‘what?’ and then this is never mentioned again during the entire episode.

‘i fixed it. eventually. just about. sort of’ no you didn’t, the cyber wars still happened and decimated the human population that ain’t fixing it :/

i guess it’s in character, but for the doctor to be really closed off even to an old friend like jack is so weird. like she doesn’t even mention running into the master or anything.

not my point, but ive seen someone make the point of that jack has also had memories taken from them from the time agency, essentially identical to the doctor’s situation and that this is literally never brought up in the episode.

honestly crazy that ch*bnall wrote for jack for two seasons and still he is reduced to background furniture. i swear he writes bad on purpose.

‘i was in prison for being me’ chr*s ch*bnall wrote this with his own two hands im crying.

more lense flares! also why is the camera at an angle. ive made a post about this, but the directing is so bad this episode and like most other episodes this era.

‘i was in space jail!’ she sure is Quirky™️ isn’t she?

yaz shoving the doctor is very funny. honestly where is that suppose to have come from.

i love the delivery of ‘10 months’ as super serious when so many other companions have waited years to see the doctor again, honestly it makes the fam come across as so wet.

chr*s ch*bnall literally wrote ‘oops’ (said by jack) as a response to that.

also the sad music as if someone’s died.

god this scene is awkward.

how did possessed leo get to osaka? did he just walk past customs with a squid on his back?

‘she’s good. yeah we all are’ …..um no comment.

‘yeah they killed me once, long time ago, no big deal…i can be killed but i come back to life pretty quick,’ why does he tell them this like that? it feels so unnatural.

‘partially her fault’ how is it partially the doctor’s fault? it’s a stretch to say that at the least.

‘partially a friend of hers on earth called rose but she’s trapped in a parallel universe now’ literally all of this is unprompted, why does he need to tell the fam any of this, especially since it would be a sensitive topic for the doctor surely? but hey it wouldn’t be a ch*bnall episode without our constant exposition dumps.

‘i saw the way you shoved her’ i hope ch*bnall never picks up a pen again.

i’m sorry i know this is Emotional Scene™️ and whatever but i don’t care about yaz as a character. none of this is earnt in any way, shape or form. i need the set up if you want me to satisfied with the payoff.

‘we lost each other’ either this is intentional from jack to soften it for yaz or chris ch*bnall doesn’t actually remember jack’s story. the doctor knowingly abandoned jack and jack knew this. yeah sure at the time jack didn’t know this and they moved past this but still weird choice.

also this is stupid because yaz does fuck all in two seasons so what the fuck is she missing. also rose’s speech in parting of the ways is 1000x better, here yaz is like ‘i miss it cant tell you why tho’ :/

‘the joy is worth the pain’ i guess this is a nice poetic line but this is my salt commentary so im gonna bitch about it :/ i think the conversion is a lot bigger then this and it’s a lot more complicated. like jack knows first hand what travelling with the doctor did to a.) himself and b.) to both rose and martha, was travelling ‘worth’ all the trauma they both suffered? idk saying ‘be happy even thought it might hurt’ is definitely one perspective i guess… idk where i was going with this. i think martha’s conversation with donna (and sarah jane’s to rose) is a lot more realistic. also yaz is like 21 here, i would of hoped jack would have had a more mature take on this situation, more than just ‘be lucky you’re going to be traumatised’.

‘are you feeling insecure? cos you seem to need a lot of praise’ literally no idea where ch*bnall pulled this line out of his ass from because im pretty sure insecurity has never been a key trait of jack’s. starting to think the chris ch*bnall who wrote torchwood was an entirely different person (aka i want to know how much of ch*bnall’s torchwood scripts were edited).

i hate the green lightning :/ why do they love doing this?

why the fuck are we letting robertson into the tardis??

‘this is about daleks. please stop using that word’ i second this motion. you know what im gonna count how many times they say dalek in this episode.

wait did they really put daleks on downing street cause that would be pretty funny. or aren’t tv shows allowed to film on downing street i don’t know.

‘you do love a beanie’ i know she’s suppose to be Socially Awkward™️ but god… the dialogue is always so awkward, i have never believed the doctor and fam as friends, let alone companions of two seasons.

‘four minutes til osaka’ it’s so funny ch*bnall takes time to signpost that we taking a four minute break from the plot to talk about feelings.

it’s quite funny tho because has the doctor and ryan ever had a one-to-one scene before?? honestly don’t think they have (correct me if im wrong). lol ch*bnall will never convince me these people are companions and not background furniture.

the awkwardness of this conversation makes it look like the doctor is in physical pain at having to make small talk to her so-called ‘friend’.

ch*bnall literally wrote ‘and how does that make you feel’ with his own two hands. i honestly don’t understand what people get out of defending this era.

‘if i’m not who i thought i was, then who am i?’ hey chibnall we did this last episode remember? you wrote it so you should.

‘you’re the doctor, same as before, same as always. right same doctor same ryan nothing’s changed’ weird how she’s perfectly okay with this advice from the fugitive doctor, but not with ryan.

nice advice/ consoling from ryan but again this is never earnt between the characters so ehh.

omg just thought ryan should had just said in response ‘i should say a reassuring thing now shouldn’t i? i’m still a bit socially awkward’.

‘thank you ryan for being my friend. thank you for being mine’ ….footage not found.

‘did you really have to bring him?’ again i second this motion.

this lighting has plot purpose but it’s still ugly as fuck.

‘you're feeding cloned dalek creatures liquidised humans’ this era never gets any less patronising to its viewers. also disappointing that doctor who veteran j*** b******** would accept such shit dialogue (or such basic characterisation for that matter).

‘there's something else that's bugging me’ umm… the quality of writing?

‘thanks yaz! missed you yaz!’ god this dialogue is so forced.

and now the dalek lights are red in case you didn’t know they’re now evil(!)

glad to see even jack now immediately backs down from conflict against the doctor. we hate it here.

this plan bad, as im sure you all know.

if they keep on saying the word dalek istg.

‘your bodies are too slow for daleks’ this is one of weirdest lines of dalek dialogue i’ve ever heard.

the extreme close up of the dalek, something something directing bad you know the drill.

‘yeah i can’t be spotted by the daleks!’ proceeds to park right in front of them.

‘maybe i can make a claim on insurance’, okay so that was a funny joke i admit.

bad guy of the episode goes to side with the bad guys, pretends to be shocked.

one of my favourite pieces of physical comedy is when the daleks rotate their heads to look at each other. i’m sure this probably isn’t even intentionally funny, i just find it hilarious and sassy of them.

‘you never forget your first death’ and jack is so hung up on this because…?

so is jack just carrying an abundance of bombs on his person or…?

‘no alien ship is safe from us two bad boys’ oh graham 😂

aw graham got left hanging, he didn’t deserve that 😔

if the daleks can locate the tardis now how come they didn’t before?

‘im captain jack harkness and im immortal’ imagine being happy with writing this dialogue, imagine being happy performing this dialogue. i have to ask. also why is ch*bnall obsessed with mentioning jack’s immortality when it bares no purpose to the plot. like yes ch*bnall i do remember jack is immortal you don’t need to keep telling me.

also like jack risks getting any one of them shot because he has to make Quippy Line™️???

ch*bnall loves solving the day by making the villian extremely dumb.

jack saying goodbye through ADR… hmm i want to know the tea.

i don’t know why the doctor frames ryan wanting to leave as ‘missed my time with you’ when ryan literally just gave his reasoning as it is because he has grown as a person and now know what he wants to do with life.

i mean ryan leaving does have its arc throughout the series so im not gonna say it’s not there but also im gonna not applaud a fish for swimming so.

‘she needs you’ there’s only so many times i can make the same joke… and im gonna keep making it, no she’s doesn’t lol (im sorry😅).

i will say that graham’s exit isn’t as good. not that that it’s unjustified, it’s perfectly fine but yeah less of an independent choice and more just following ryan.

nice leaving gift of psychic paper, just don’t tell them that others got a k9 😂

‘i could always use the tardis to go back arrive an hour after you guys, change the timeline. then we'd have more time together’ why is this doctor so bothered about companions leaving to this degree, she never even looked at them twice when they were on board. also the doctor has never reacted like this to any other companions and it’s not like the fam are that special lol.

also i noticed in the credits there’s a ch*bnall side character named after me lol. i think i’ll stick to my welsh biker girl thanks x

concluding thoughts: this episode definitely has some (2) nice emotional scenes in insolation, but 22 episodes in to start putting actual emotional development is just too little too late. jack ends up being almost a caricature of himself featuring all his Greatest Hits™️ of lines and quirks. nothing new is added to his character which is a shame. honestly the depth of emotion in torchwood s3 and s4 is so profound that seeing jack reduced to the gimmick of quirky sidekick is insulting to longtime viewers. aside from the start the doctor and jack barely interact which is also frustrating. the prison cliffhanger/ scenes are extremely pointless and add nothing to the plot or character as usual. the fam are the fam. not a big fan of dalek stories nowadays so i don’t really care much about it.

they say the word dalek(s) 91 times in this episode.

#series 12 salt rewatch #this is late because i didn’t want to do it ✌️#and we are done with s12 yayyyy!!! 🎉#dw commentary

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chichyunjae · 2 years

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🧷 reaction : their s/o is injured (being gentle)

— fluff !!

## sangyeon

: would do everything to make you comfortable

: loves to stroke your hair

: comforting smiles !!

sangyeon pleasingly sighed as his hands caressed your soft hair.

“we’re not even halfway through harry potter yet you’re about to doze off, babe.” he chuckles as you struggle to keep your eyes open.

“shut up, love. i’m meditating.”

## jacob

: soft <3

: caresses your cheeks

: really careful around you

“you love my cheeks that much?” you amusingly ask as jacob attentively tries to avoid leaning on your bandaged elbow.

he seems to be so invested in nuzzling his face on your face.

“so. much.” jacob mutters before snuggling further.

## younghoon

: clingy

: helps you in everything

: kisses your forehead

“bup bup— let me do the work. don’t even think about standing.” younghoon mumbles while arranging the take outs on the living room table.

“you’re the best.” you opened your arms to tackle him in a hug.

“i know, you’ll never find a guy like me ever again.” he replies as he plops down on the couch with a shit-eating grin.

## hyunjae

: his arm is always on your waist to support you

: feeds you

: cuddles !

“my baby is so messy.” hyunjae shook his head, wiping the sauce that dribbled from the spoon you were holding down to your cotton shorts.

“i wouldn’t be this messy if we took separate baths and none of us slipped in the bathtub, you know?” you rolled your eyes at him and grabbed the tissue on his grip to wipe your own self.

“but i love taking care of you! should i say that it was a good accident— ow!” he faked a cry and slowly embraced you after you just gave him a slap on the shoulder.

## juyeon

: likes holding your hand

: always rubs your back

: steals soft pecks on your lips

“goddamn, juyeon. you don’t have to kiss me every single time i manage to walk on my own.” you amusingly said, puckering your lips to welcome his.

“oh, sweetheart. you’re contradicting yourself.” he giggles.

“you know what? i am not even complaining.” you added before hooking your arms on his nape.

## kevin

: hands always intertwined with yours :(

: lulls you to sleep

: pats your head !!

“please, babe. just close your eyes, you can’t even comprehend the subtitles at this point.” kevin says, softly patting your head.

“no… captain holt just .. just….” slurring your words, you finally gave in. kevin found you so adorable to keep up with the brooklyn nine-nine happenings, whispering an ‘i love you’ and kissing the top of your head.

## new

: sings you to sleep

: his lap is literally your pillow

: wraps you in a blanket burrito <3

“spring snow is literally my favorite, sing it for me please.” you nuzzled into chanhee’s embrace.

“you’re so lucky to have me.” he squints before covering your form with a blanket draped over his shoulders.

## q

: kisses your cheek every now and then

: helps you in everything

: giggles every time you struggle in doing something but he’s just teasing you, really ;)

“what are you laughing at?” you glare at changmin who is currently laughing loudly at the sofa.

“nothing, you just look cute trying to lift that box.” he quips before you proceeded to roll your eyes at him and continue what you are doing.

“i mean…. it’s not my fault that you fell off the bed while.. you know.” he winks.

oh, his cute and annoying face.

## haknyeon

: eats with you / occasionally feeds you

: wraps his arm around your shoulder

: whispers sweet nothings to you

“your arm might hurt while you’re wearing a cast.” haknyeon offers you a spoonful of rice and meat, a look of concern evident in his demeanor.

“okay, fine.” you agreed before opening your mouth to accept the food.

“your cheeks look cute when you chew.”

## sunwoo

: the sweetest. (i don’t even wanna argue)

: hands on your thighs

: very careful around you

“please tell me if you feel uncomfortable. i’ll help you, okay?” sunwoo declared and placed his hand on your thigh to softly rub circles on the skin.

“i’m fine, really. thank you for taking care of me.” you muttered before giving him a peck on the lips.

“geez, love. you’re being cheesy right now–“ he grins, pulling you closer and planting small kisses all over your face.

in the end, you both didn’t manage to finish the movie and fell asleep holding each other.

## eric

: cooks for you :(

: cups your cheeks and kisses them

: holds you close

“you really want my aglio olio???” he says, shock painted on his cute face.

“yeah, i kinda crave pasta right now. plus, you can now brag your cooking skills, whatever.” you roll your eyes while smiling.

“coming right up!” he giggles before cupping your cheeks and planting a kiss on your forehead.

[ requested by anon ]

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barnesbabee · 3 years

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I genuinely hate to bring them up because everyone says something about them in unpopular opinions. BUT in my opinion dynamite and butter are really really really bad songs. They make me want to put ants in my ears or something. I get a little triggered because back I'm my day, literally everything up to hyyh album was the SHIT. And the blood sweet and tears album. Like I feel bad for bts because I don't think they'll ever get that sound back, like im their newer songs it sound like their voices are being strained and they are being told to hit this note at gun point. Both of those songs though low key sound the same to me and I am disappointed that songs like those get really big because we have groups out here bussing their ass. And they get pebbles like it's honestly astonishing and gross.

I feel like this is a shared opinion among kpop fans that can never, in any circumstance, be brought up to armys because they'll just accuse us of being haters when in reality they're just shit songs...

Let's be honest, the songs aren't BAD, but if you listen to BTS' old songs (not even talking about the golden age of i need u and save me, just as far back as on and fake love) and to their old genres and then listen to these westernized songs made purely to appeal to american music critics and to people who hate subtitles it just makes you wanna poke holes in your head with an electric drill

it's such a blatant attempt at becoming even bigger in the west, and what for? kpop for the most part is losing all of its originality and becoming more and more like pop, because kpop (for some fucking reason) wants to appeal to westerners desperately.

Their newer songs just sound like generic shit you could hear by turning on the radio or tuning in to a random american idol produced band

And people always say 'oh don't compare it with the older stuff'

how can we not? save me was fucking GENIUS. It's an amazing song. I didn't even like bts when fake love was released and I was amazed by that song. Their discography is amazing and you tune in nowadays to some weird generic pop group wannabe song knowing they can do SO much better... disappointing is all I can say

It's like if Rihanna suddenly came back started making weird EDM shit

I feel like 'unpopular' bts opinions are so popular because everyone always stuffs down your throat that you have to like them and if you say something against them armys will personally set you on fire and eat you for dinner, it's not that they're unpopular, it's that they're never shared

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sleepymccoy · 4 years

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Here's a little one off I wrote, based on a discussion post I saw (and have lost, I'll link it if I come across it again) that was talking about how Aziraphale's attention was a bit scattered at the Dowling's that day, shown mainly in him accidentally killing a bird. And someone pointed out that Aziraphale only changed one of the guns, and who knows what really happened after they left

I also thought it would be nice if Crowley found out that Aziraphale had saved his life that day. That would be a nice thing to know.

"Holy shit," Crowley said, his tone far more calm than it should have been. The calm of it was not true, it was more that he was so surprised that he hadn't landed on an emotion yet. Shock. Amusement. Panic. All good options.

Confusion was high on this list, though. He was confused as he looked through the TV shop's windows at the grainy promotional headshot Aziraphale had gotten made for his magical act. The headshot alone was confusing enough - why the angel enjoyed false magic would never be clear to him - but the words beneath it were what really set him off.

WANTED.

Aziraphale turned. "What?"

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's elbow and pointed him towards the shop window. "Angel, look," he said.

The words beneath the photo of Aziraphale's winning smile began to scroll as the news bulletin continued. Wanted for questioning, they said.

"I'm not getting a TV," Aziraphale complained, "I thought you'd moved on from-"

"Shut up, look," Crowley snapped, shaking Aziraphale's arm. "Read it."

The news video changed, showing footage of children with blurred out faces surrounded by ambulances and worried parents.

"Oh dear," Aziraphale breathed as his face disappeared from the screens. "Was that-"

"You."

"My gosh."

"Fuck."

"Quite," Aziraphale agreed. "Yes."

"What happened?" Crowley asked. The shot changed and became a slow pan over a garden. The closed captions started scrolling across the screen, the words close enough to what the news reader was actually saying to be understandable.

"Wanted for questioning," Aziraphale muttered. "An insider ent?"

"Incident," Crowley corrected absently as he watched.

Crowley recognised the gardens. Then he recognised the building with certainty "That's Warlock's place," he said. The closed captions confirmed this, written by a computer that did its best to translate Dowling but only got as far as Down In.

"What happened?" Aziraphale asked.

Crowley was doing his best to read the subtitles and get the gist. He had had a hand in the software and was doing fairly well in following the mangled story. "Someone died? That can't be right," he said.

Aziraphale's hand landed reached for Crowley's, holding Crowey's hand in place where he'd left it clutching Aziraphale's elbow.

"At the party," Aziraphale gasped, "they had guns."

Crowley tsked. "Americans,"

"Yes," Aziraphale agreed, the judgement heavy in his tone.

Crowley shook his head, facing Aziraphale again. The news had moved onto talking about some new brexit thing. "But the guns were fake, they were water pistols."

Aziraphale shook his head slowly, his eyes still trained on the TV but his gaze unfocused. "I don't believe so."

"One of them shot me, got me in the eye."

"Oh, yes," AziraphaIe said absently. He started slightly and faced Crowley, the glazed look leaving his eyes. He smiled and patted Crowley's hand. "I changed the one that pointed at you." He turned back to the TV's, clearly troubled. "I didn't think to address the rest of them."

Crowley felt that old thing of his, that clench in his heart that happened sometimes. It made him feel warm. It also made him feel about four paces closer to crying. "I didn't notice that," he whispered.

"Oh yes, wouldn't do to have you discorporated," Aziraphale said mildly.

Crowley smiled, glad through and through that Aziraphale's attention was on the TV, not him. Everything about the last week was messy. Aziraphale had spent a lot of time leaving Crowley, getting away as best he could until changing his mind all at once and risking his life to save him. Giving Heaven the proverbial finger and choosing Crowley for once and for all.

It was a lot to work through. A lot of recent heartbreak and euphoria.

It was nice to think that just before all of this, when things were still under control and they were only on plan C, Aziraphale had already been choosing Crowley. Quietly and secretively, but still. Choosing.

Perhaps they didn't need to leap forward with these new admissions of loyalty and sides. Perhaps they could spend some time settling, forgetting the week and going back to their more stable dynamic.

If that dynamic came with Aziraphale reflexively and naturally saving Crowley's life, then Crowley could love that. He did.

Crowley pulled his hand from Aziraphale's arm. He was let go.

"Want me to deal with this?" he asked, waving at the weather bulletin.

Aziraphale stepped away from the window, apparently acknowledging that the TV was done talking about him. "Perhaps I ought to turn myself in. To answer their questions, I was there after all."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Aziraphale chuckled. "Well, what will you do?" he asked as they returned to walking down the street, moving more slowly than before.

Crowley shrugged. "Get a job as a cop," be said, making it up as he spoke. "Find the paperwork. Eat it, I guess."

"Oh," Aziraphale said. "Yes, that sounds thorough. Let's do that."

Crowey's hand swung, his knuckles dragged against Aziraphale's.

"Thanks for the life saving," Crowley muttered.

AziraphaIe knuckles knocked his, much less accidentally. "You're quite welcome, my dear."

#sleepy writes #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #Crowley #Aziraphale

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true-autistic-tales · 2 years

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welcommee back to my review and ranking of my forever slowly dying hyperfixation, ive left a link on the top to the previous post incase this is your first time seeing this, but anyhooo onto the first half of season 3 under da cut >:D

forced family fun part 1

the hecks go camping, hijinks ensue while also being partly a flashback episode. i enjoy brick and mike bonding while fishing, it's cute. even ray romano makes an appearance at the end and almost entirely throughout the next part. also i found an error with the subtitles, when brick and mike go fishing, brick says:

"my pole is all bendy."

but the subtitles put it as:

"m pole is all bendy."

forced family fun part 2

i love how they make jokes of nicky, ray romano, and frankie, patricia heaton, cuz they were also on everybody loves raymond together, also playing as a married couple with two sons and one daughter. when i first watched this though i was very confused why this nicky dude was in it but now since im cultured, aka watched 2 seasons of everybody loves raymond, i understand. i love how axl angrily trots off to his tent, it's hilarious. i kinda love nicky, he's a funnyman, also ive noticed how many depressing characters are in this show like they all got problems. good episode, above the first half.

hecking order

after countless annoyances by sue, axl decides to get his revenge by suggesting sue should try out for swimming which is on the other side of their campus, while brick has issues with his new teacher even though his teacher is really cool. the ending was very sweet, good episode, above forced family fun part 2. off topic but i just want to note while in writing this one of my besties is explaining chuck e cheese lore to me.

"may i be excused to go step in front of a moving train?"

"it's a family dinner, stuff with the rest of us."

major changes

after frankie accidentally eats axl's toenails while trying to watch wheel of fortune, frankie leaves the hecks, never to be seen again. this episode foreshadows pam staggs, who we seem later in... season 9. see? this is how you do a somewhat funny mental breakdown, especially when it shows frankie in the car, even more of a reason to hate the royal wedding. good episode, above forced family fun part 2.

the test

brick gets harassed by a bully, sue tries out to be a cheerleader, and axl attempts to do his psats. brick "getting out" of the trash is hilarious. i love how they forshadow really weird things like axl's dragon dream being his collage's mascot later. brick is such a smart kid, i love when he explains why bullies bully and how mike starts actually thinking about it, he's a smartass. good episode, above hecking order.

"oh, the bully might be winning right now, but my time will come. [whispering] time will come."

bad choices

axl fakes being sick so he doesn't have to do a test, sue and brad start a play and brick quotes shakespeare. my bobby apears for a bit to suggest frankie to hickory arms, a place he also lives in... with his mom, and is it only me or does his outfit in this episode reminds me a lot of shaggy? frankie being impressed by the most basic of shit at hickory arms is funny but also kinda depressing. i adore the don't text and drive song from sue and brad, it's always amazing even after countless rewatches. i love this episode, it's so good, the top of the list.

"that's democracy in action, jackson!"

halloween 2

sue grows up for a halloween party, brick and frankie got trick-or-treating with his support group, while axl, sean and darrin also go trick-or-treating for a money scam. i adore the ax-men in this episode, they're literally ed, edd n eddy with their level of scams. i also really love the scenes with brick's support group, it's fun as hell. i absolutely love how mike still isn't ready for sue to grow up, and tries to tell her how he feels but fails constantly. another really great halloween episode, top of the list.

heck's best thing

a recuiter for east Indiana state comes to interview axl while sue and brick accidentally gets aunt edie's phone. this weird obsession sue and brick get over this one jesus lighter is humorous. also bob randomly apears again for frankie to vent to while he's trying to put something up for ehlert which just shows how smol he is, i love my short boy. good episode, above hecking order.

"what would jesus lighter say?"

the play

mike grounds axl for being an idiot, brick and rusty bond after rusty stood him up, while frankie, sue and bob try out for a wizard of oz play. i adore all scenes at the play, maybe only because of bob but still- i love the scene where rusty just lets brick drive his automobile, dude, i love rusty, he's absolutely hilarious. great episode, above the test.

"dad let us drive, we turned out okay."

"you wanna rephrase that?"

"okay, uh, dad let we drive, us turned out okay."

thanksgiving 3

the hecks stay over to frankie's family side's place for thanksgiving. axl basically faceplants when it comes to flirting with the registrar girl and it's hilarious, i love it, especially when mike tries to teach axl how to flirt only to look like such a creep. i don't personally like the scene with frankie and janet fighting, it's a bit too realistic for my taste but other than that, good episode, below major changes.

a christmas gift

after frankie sends out an drunken invitation, the hecks with a bunch of other random people celebrate christmas eve while brick becomes an atheist after finally reading the bible and sue tries to stop him. i really really enjoy all the scenes with reverend timtom, he's so unbelievably cool. i absolutely love loVE LOVE all the scenes with axl and bob, how bob processes the fact that axl calls him bro once and then thinks that they're besties, i love him so much, i love him so so unbelievably much, i would say more but then this would turn into a fictional other gushing post instead of a somewhat in depth ranking post. great episode, above the play.

"[screams quietly]"

year of the hecks

for the new year frankie suggests that everyone should make a new year resolution for each other. i love brad becoming a wrestler, im not even surprised because wrestling is probably the most gayest sport i can imagine, that's not an insult. also in this the wrestlerettes become a thing, i love how they just completely block the view of the actual wrestling. mike trying to smile reminds me of those "cursed images" of weird cats smiling. rereading this i realize how much of a boomer i sounded, i am 15 im not out of touch yet- i love ashley wyman, she's a phineas and ferb stan. axl handing in his late homework thingy and being asked to spell "there" is very hilarious. i absolutely love when frankie and brick hang out at ehlert motors and actually start to bond, it's very nice even if frankie accidentally leaves him at work. another really great episode, above the play.

ranks so far

this season so far has been good, not much else to say, just hopefully the stream will keep on going for this like it has done for the past two.

12. forced family fun part 1

11. forced family fun part 2

10. thanksgiving 3

9. major changes

8. hecking order

7. heck's best thing

6. the test

5. the play

4. year of the hecks

3. a christmas gift

2. bad choices

1. halloween 2

#the middle #ranking

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 3 years

Text

Riverdale//without you i’d be nothing

Request: Reader plays a Northsider River Vixen on Riverdale and when the show’s on hiatus the cast takes a trip to New Orleans and her boyfriend Douglas Booth invites them to see him film a scene as Nikki Sixx for the Netflix movie The Dirt and he and reader are super cute after he finishes the scene and the cast totally ships them. The scene is from the YouTube video The Dirt - Shout at the Devil/with backstage (Turkish subtitle). Nikki’s bass guitar in the opening of the scene is really cool.

hey! i really hope you like this!! and i also hope you’re having a good day!

“Hey guys! It’s me, Madelaine and welcome to the last day of shooting before our hiatus!” Madelaine beams into the camera and you lift your head up from your phone to watch her talk excitedly at the camera.

“I’m sort of sad because I’m gonna miss all of these.” She does a twirl to show off the rest of the cast sat waiting to start filming and they all take a break from talking to wave and smile at the camera. “But I am very excited for the break. Plus, we won’t really be away from each other for long because in a few days we’re going on holiday!! Aren’t we guys!” She asks and zooms in on Charles while he scrolls through his phone.

“Huh?” He asks when he feels everyone looking at him. You all stifle a laugh before looking back at Madelaine again.

“Okay, let’s see what everyone is doing.” She smiles playfully and wiggles her eyebrows before flipping the camera and choosing who to annoy first. “KJ. What are you doing?”

“Eating.” He replies through a mouthful of food before glaring at the red-head.

“Vanessa?”

“Ignoring you.” She replies, not bothering to look up from her phone.

“You know, you all think that Vanessa is lovely, but this is what I have to put up with.” Madelaine frowns. “What about you Y/n?” She asks and you glance at her before sending your text.

“She’s texting her boyfriend.” Jordan teases as he looks over your shoulder and you roll your eyes at his childishness. “Aww, they’re sending each other kisses. And now she’s opening Instagram and liking a picture of him-wait, that’s not his real hair is it?” He asks and you send him a look.

“Of course not.” You laugh. “It’s his costume, for the Mötley Crüe movie.”

“Ohh.” He replies. “Okay.” He starts again, faking a British accent and you roll your eyes again. “Now, she is liking the photo of her boyfriend and his cast members. She’s typing something and now she’s going into her notes and typing something else. It’s for me, and it says Jordan...fuck off.” He trails off and a playful pout replaces his smile.

“Somebody please send help.” Madelaine deadpans as she flips the camera back. “I’m gonna have to put up with all of this for another week.”

“Holy shit.” Madelaine mouths as she shoves the camera in her backpack. The rest of the cast are just as mesmerised with the stage set up in front of them.

The stage is more light than actual stage and for a while you can’t really decipher between the lights and the many, many speakers they have. Four microphones are dotted around the black stage, just waiting for sound. The guitar amps wait to be plugged in and you remember watching Douglas walk in and out of your bedroom as he tried to master the way Nickki Sixx would walk on stage. Tommy Lee’s drum sits at the back of the stage and the pentagram really brings the whole dark aesthetic together.

It genuinely looks like one of their shows. After Doug was offered the role, the two of you sat and watched countless videos of their shows together, just so he could really get into his role.

Normally you’d join them in staring wide-eyed at the bright set, but you’re too excited to see Doug that you can barely take in anything surrounding you other than him. Your eyes scan the countless people passing by. Crew members carrying large speakers and microphones back and forth, and hundreds of extra’s mill about around you, making you feel like you’ve just walked through a time machine.

You feel eyes on you and it’s only when you look back at them do you realize you were bouncing slightly.

“Be cool.” Jordan shakes his head and you flip him off making him feign offence.

“Can I help you guys?” A woman asks and you quickly direct your attention to her.

“Hi!” You beam. “Douglas Booth invited us to watch him. He said he got the okay from the director. I’m Y/n, his girlfriend. Nice to meet you!” You smile and stick your hand out in front of her. She blinks, trying to process what you’ve just said in the short space of time before a small smile twitches at her lips and she introduces herself.

“I’m Amy.” She replies. “And I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you in person instead of being shown countless of pictures of you.” She teases and your cheeks heat up.

Cami and Lili share a look before nudging you and you stare at the floor, too embarrassed to look at them again.

“Come with me.” She tells the rest of the group. “And help yourself to snacks and drinks.” She says and everyone’s head’s perk up at the mention of food. “We’re just about to film, they’re putting the final touches to everything, but if I see Doug I’ll let him know you’re here.”

“Thank you!” You grin and sit down. Behind the camera’s are a bunch of seats, none of which match and it’s a race between the ten of you to get the comfiest seats first. It ends in KJ and Casey standing and they grumble quietly to each other while the rest of you smile sarcastically back at them.

“Okay. Quiet on set!” Someone shouts and you stand up to crane your neck over the camera’s. For a second everything’s quiet, and then the lights go up and everyone screams.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, from Los Angeles, Mötley Crüe!”

Douglas looks out into the crowd and your sure he’s seen you, despite the room full of people. Then the lights come up and the spark machines go off leaving all you to stare in awe at what is happening.

The sound of drums pound along with your heart while you watch your boyfriend transform into somebody else in front of your very eyes. He strums the guitar in time and hops backwards while looking out into the darkened crowd and you follow his gaze, wanting to see what he’s seeing.

You watch as the camera zooms in on Douglas’ strumming and you nudge Cami excitledy as you point proudly at him. She stifles a laugh before the two of you continuing watching.

“Title track is from our up and coming album. We call it ‘Shout At The Devil’” Danny shouts and the crowd goes wild. The camera zooms in on Iwan playing guitar.

‘Shout, shout, shout!” They sing, the camera zooming into each of them, focusing longer on Colson as he twirls the drum sticks around in his fingers. “Shout, shout, shout! Shout at the devil.” Danny kicks his leg out and does a spin before starting to sing again and you can’t believe what you’re seeing.

They all look so cool! Especially Douglas and you can understand why bands back in the day had so many groupies if they did stuff like this on the stage. The atmosphere is electric and it’s not even a real concert, so you can only dream of what it would feel like to be at a real one. “He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night. He's the blood stain on the stage.” Danny points out into the crowd and you hear a few screams and squeals making you laugh. “He's the tear in your eye. Been tempted by his lie.” Douglas rocks back and forth, and despite your earlier teasing through texts about the wig, it does look good when he’s up there head banging. “He's the knife in your back, he's rage!” Colson raises a hand in the air before banging the drums again.

Danny leans forward, his voice going up an octave and you watch impressed. “He's the razor to the knife. Oh, lonely is our lives. My head's spinning 'round and 'round.” He points out into the crowd again and you catch Pete Davidson’s eye.

Colson throws a drumstick in the air again before drumming, and you don’t know where to look anymore. There’s so many incredible things happening and you wish you could film this or take a picture or something so you can remember. It’s going to be amazing when you see it in the actual film, but to see it being recorded in real life, that’s something you don’t think any movie theatre will be able to live up to.

“But in the seasons of wither, we'll stand and deliver. Be strong and laugh and-”

“Shout, shout, shout. Shout at the devil! Shout, shout, shout!” Flames erupt from the stage during each beat and all ten of your eyes widen when you see someone flash the band. They head bang and jump around and your eyes widen each second that passes.

But it’s over far sooner than you’d like it to be. You could spent forever watching your boyfriend pretend to be a famous rockstar, and you’re surprised at how at home he looks up on stage.

The band shout and cheer, before the director shouts cut and they suddenly all erupt into laughter. Douglas and Iwan high five before they disappear off stage and previously still crew members start moving again. They hurry past you, with props, costumes and coffee in hand.

And you wait excitedly for Douglas to appear.

“So, we’re on the set of a super important Netflix movie. We’ve just watched them film literally the best thing ever. Like I have goosebumps, look. Anyway, I’m not gonna show you much, but I am going to show you this.” Madelaine whispers, a soft smile lighting up her face before she flips the camera and zooms in on you and Douglas.

You wrap your arms around him and he picks you up, twirling you around making you squeal. He puts you back on the floor and wastes no time in capturing your lips in a kiss. You’ve been waiting months to kiss him again and it was definitely worth it, even if he is wearing that ridiculously large wig.

“I’ve missed you so much baby.” You mumble against his lips.

“Me too.” He replies and kisses you again.

Madelaine flips the camera back to her and she pouts in response to how cute the two of you are.

“She hasn’t shut up about him since he invited us out here.” She says and rolls her eyes. “It’s been the only thing we’ve heard. Hasn’t it V?” She asks the shorter girl as she walks behind her.

“What?” Vanessa asks and takes a sip of the coffee Cole stole for her from the snack table.

“Y/n and Doug.” It’s only three words, but it sets Vanessa off into a whole ramble about how excited you’ve been to see him.

“It’s a good job they’re cute.” She replies making Vanessa giggle and the two of them watch as you and Doug catch up with each other. You move his wig from his face and he smiles thankfully, before kissing your cheek. “Something that isn’t cute though is these two.” Madelaine interrupts her own vlog by swapping the camera again and zooming in on Jordan and Drew taking pictures of each other with badly put on wigs.

Her and Vanessa shake their head and watch as they laugh loudly and try to knock the other ones off their head. However their laughter soon dies down when a crew member comes over and scolds them for tampering with props, and now it’s Vanessa and Madelaine’s’s turn to laugh.

“I can’t wait for the internet to see that.” Vanessa giggles before sending a disapproving look at the two men now pouting sadly in the corner.

“Knowing them, it’ll just make more people love them.” Madelaine rolls her eyes. She turns the camera off and lets Vanessa lead her to where the majority of the cast are.

“Hi guys.” Douglas introduces himself nervously and the conversations slowly die out. You stand beside Doug, your hand in his to keep him calm and a reassuring smile on your face.

He’s never normally nervous when meeting new people, however he’s only ever met a few of these people a handful of times and he knows how important they are to you so he wants to make the best impression he possibly can.

Although, you’re pretty sure he already has done with that they’ve just watched. You’re sure that could turn even the most cynical and hard to impress people, so you’re not worried.

“Hi!” They all reply, each of them moving to shake his hand first.

“Can I just say, that was great. I’ve never seen anything like it!” Drew gushes and Doug waves him off bashfully.

“Seriously. Y/n is very lucky.” Jordan replies making you shove him lightly.

“I’m definitely the lucky one.” Doug replies and kisses you gently. Your friends roll their eyes and gag in response, but you know they’re doing it out of love.

“So, how are you all enjoying New Orleans?” He changes the subject.

“We haven’t really seen much of it. We got here yesterday and we spent the majority of it sleeping.” Casey explains making him frown.

“Why don’t we go sightseeing.” He smiles. “Before you guys get kicked out.” He adds and looks at Jordan and Drew who smile back awkwardly.

“You guys go ahead.” You interrupt. “We’ll catch up with you.”

“Ooo.” KJ teases and you flip him off making him laugh loudly. “Get out.” You shove him and Lili grabs his arm pulling him towards the exit. The rest of the gang follow until it’s just you and Doug standing in an empty room. You’re only company is the very large snack table and various chairs dotted around the room.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much.” You admit and wrap him into a tight hug. He wheezes at the force but hugs you back and warmth fills your chest. “You were also amazing up there. I mean, it was like I was at a proper concert!” You ramble proudly and he rolls his eyes. “You are so talented.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head and you send him a glare. “It was all you, you’re my good luck charm.”

---

March 18, 2019, ArcLight, Hollywood.

The fabric of your dress, bunches and un-bunches in your clammy palm. The pale blue silk is soft against your skin and it’s quite a comforting feeling, it’s good to know that you can still feel something, even if the rest of you does feel numb.

Camera’s flash outside the tinted windows of the black car, and you can hear hundreds of people shouting and screaming. The last time you were at a movie premiere, it didn’t feel anything like this, and it’s not even your movie. You wonder if you maybe need to do more than two acting jobs to get used to stuff like this, maybe you never get used to it.

The more you think of it, the weirder it feels. All of those people lining the streets and wanting to take pictures of you. Riverdale premiers feel a whole lot less scary than movie ones. You thought it was because you always have your friends around you, or maybe because you’ve been to every single one of them since the show started, you kind of know what to expect as they’re all the same.

But then you glance at Doug and you feel a whole new set of nerves creep up on you. He looks so good in his suit, and you watch his fingers tap anxiously against his knee as the two of you wait for the door to opened.

Maybe you’re more nervous because it’s him. You have no reason to be though, the small part that you saw being filmed was amazing, and if the whole film is like that, then he’s got nothing to worry about. But you know he’s nervous and maybe that’s what’s making you feel the same.

“Doug?” You place a gentle hand over his, stilling the movements of his fingers and he looks back at you, his expression softening as he takes you in.

“You look beautiful.” He smiles and presses a kiss to the back of your hand.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You reply and he rolls his eyes. “Are you okay?” You ask and the question seems to take him by surprise.

“Yeah-I. Why wouldn’t I be?” He stutters and you send him a look. He knows you can read him like a book, it’s something you seemed to have mastered by the first day you met him.

“You just seem a little nervous.” You shrug and give his hand a squeeze.

“I’m okay.” He shakes his head. “Maybe just a little bit. But nerves are good.” He finishes and you look at him unsure. “Why? Are you nervous?”

“A little bit.” You admit and drop his gaze. His finger hooks under your chin and pulls it up again so you can look at him. His hazel eyes seem to see straight through you and the way he’s looking at you makes your heartbeat increase. For a few seconds, it just feels like the two of you sitting in the tiny cab.

The rest of the world disappears, it’s just you and him, and that’s all you could ever really need.

“Come on, you’ve done scarier things. Remember when you found out you had to do that British accent. I’m pretty sure you told me, you’d considered dropping out of the film.” He says and you nod your head.

“I suppose, yeah.” You agree. “That was very nerve-racking. Especially when I had to do it in front of the cutest British boy I’d ever met.” You add and he rolls his eyes playfully. The two of you giggle quietly to yourselves

“We’re ready for you.” A tall man dressed all in black tells you once opening the door. You look at Doug and the two of you take a deep breath.

“Are you ready?” You ask and he nods slowly.

“As I’ll ever be.” He grins and you mirror it. The nerves turning to excitement when you think about how proud you are of him. “Wait!” He shouts and you freeze, dropping your purse in fright. “Sorry.” He apologises awkwardly and you roll your eyes at him. “I just wanted to get a picture with you before we’re both whisked off by our adorning fans. I want to show off how lucky I am, and I want Danny to see what he’s missing.”

“Where did you say he was again?”

“He’s off filming some other film. But I think he did a video message or something, basically thanking everyone.” He replies.

“Oh, that’s sweet.” You nod. “Anyway, adorning fans?” You repeat and he nods, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “You know this is a premier for a film that you’re in right? I’ve got nothing to do with this.”

“One. We all know that the majority of the people here, are here for you because they just assume you’re coming with me.”

“They assumed correctly.” You nod and cross your arms. You raise an eyebrow as you wait for him to continue with this point that you know is going to be stupid.

“And two. You have everything to do with this.” He says and your roll your eyes, pushing him bashfully. “I’m being serious Y/n.” He says, making you look at him. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to say yes to all the offers I got, I wouldn’t have been able to recover from the many no’s. I wouldn’t have been able to learn my scripts and come to you for advice and support and just for a hug. This has everything to do with you, and the way you looked at me when you watched me film, gave me all the confidence I needed to keep going, even when the hours were long and I missed you like crazy.”

“Douglas Booth, you’re going to make me cry and my makeup is perfect.”

“And you look beautiful.” He replies and wipes a stray tear away. A curl falls in front of your face and he tucks it behind your ear, his fingers leaving a trail of heat along your jawline. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You laugh and wipe away another tear.

He gives you one last smile before grabbing your hand. You step out of the cab and into the bright flashing lights and the overwhelming sound of your names being shouted. He looks back at you, concern growing in his eyes but you grin back at him and he mirrors it.

The two of you make your way up the red carpet, posing together and separately as people shout your name from all angles. The camera’s always disorient you, but as soon as you’re back beside Douglas and he wraps an arm around you waist, you feel yourself become more comfortable with the sheer amount of press.

Douglas talks to a few of his co-stars and you take the few minutes of zero attention to really take in the moment. There’s so many people here, all of them to see your talented boyfriend and his friends and you feel like your heart is going to burst with pride.

Your gaze catches Jordan, Drew and KJ, all three of which are staring wide eyed as the real Mötley Crüe walk the red carpet. You watch as they try their hardest not to implode and a chuckle escapes your lips when they finally realize that you’re watching them.

“Holy shit!” Jordan mouths and you roll your eyes. Drew points awkwardly at them and KJ makes small talk with Tommy Lee before he stares at you in shock.

“Be cool!” You mouth back and roll your eyes at your friends. The three of them just stare back at you in shock before they notice Vanessa and Madelaine having a full on conversation with all four members.

It looks like they’ve just bumped into each at the grocery store with the way they’re talking to each other, and even you must look a little surprised.

“I’ve seen you’re show!” Nikki says and your jaw drops. “It’s fucking weird.” He adds making the girls laugh.

“Yeah.” Madelaine nods. “It sure is.” She adds before they walk away to get their pictures taken. Madelaine and Vanessa stare at each other, frozen for a few seconds before they grab each others arms and squeal.

“Your friends sure are weird.” Vince says and it takes you a few seconds to realise he’s talking to you.

“Oh yeah. There are.” You laugh awkwardly and the rest of the band greet you. You take a second to glance back at your friends who are all staring at you with varying degrees of shock on their face.

“Are you ready to go in?” Doug pulls your attention away from the silent conversation you’re trying to have with Vanessa, and a soft smile graces your lips.

“More than ready.” You nod excitedly. “I’m so proud of you baby.” You whisper in his ear and a blush creeps up his neck.

“Not as proud as I am of you.” He replies and nudges your arm. The two of you take a deep breath before stepping through the door, ready for whatever adventure is waiting for you next.

support my writing! if you want!

#riverdale #riverdale imagine #lili reinhart #cole sprouse #camila mendes #kj apa #vanessa morgan #madelaine petsch #casey cott #jordan connor #drew ray tanner #charles melton

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thinkingaboutyoungroyals · 3 years

Text

Falling For You But You Are Worlds Away: Chapter 3

A/N: I had a day off from school and finished some of my homework so I had some time to write. Please don't expect this consistency, it's a rare occurrence lol

AO3

Simon’s stomach was in knots all day. Several times, he felt the urge to rush to the restroom and throw up.

His first couple of days in New York went fine. His aunt and cousin showed him around all the tourist areas, bought him souvenirs, and took him to their favorite restaurants. He even got a picture with Elmo at Times Square. (Why were there so many Sesame Street characters?!) They also got him a new phone number, showed him how to navigate the bus and the subway, and talked to him in English so he could practice.

Simon’s English wasn’t terrible, per se. He grew up watching shows and movies in English with Swedish subtitles. And he didn’t do too bad in his English classes. But, he never had to speak it 24/7 before.

So, when he walked into his new school with Ana, he was immediately bombarded with all the English words, phrases, and slang – it all made his head swirl. Ana introduced him to some people she knew, they spoke to him in English, and he stumbled through his answers. And, sadly, because Ana was a grade ahead of him, he was left alone to fend for himself when it came to time to go to classes.

He did manage to fake confidence, introducing himself to his classmates and answering a few questions. He could follow the lessons just fine and answered when called upon by teachers (except in American History, he definitely needed help there). But, for the most part, he stayed quiet.

At lunch, he sat with Ana, who introduced him to her friends. All three were girls. Two of them were Latina, Alicia and Luz, and one girl was white, Elizabeth (“You can call me, Liz,” she told him). They spoke to each other in Spanish (even Liz) and it was the first time all day that Simon felt the unease in him boil down to a simmer. It was still there but hearing the familiar language was a comfort.

And he now knew why Ana insisted they packed lunch – the school’s food didn’t look that appetizing. Even Hillerska had better food. (And thinking of Hillerska made him think of Wille, which just made him feel depressed again.)

When his last class of the day finally dismissed them, Simon was ready to go home and take a nap. He was exhausted – physically and mentally. But, Ana had other plans.

“Hello, everyone! As you can see, we have someone new joining us today!”

She gestured to him with a flourish and Simon blushed in embarrassment as many eyes focused on him – curious and interested.

“This is my cousin, Simon, he just moved here from Sweden. I hope everyone makes him feel welcomed. Please don’t scare him off.”

Simon awkwardly shuffled his feet as he waved. “Um… Hi… Um… I’m Simon. Sorry, uh, my English isn’t very good. But, I’m practicing.”

He was met with silent nods and Simon almost sighed in relief. Almost.

“You look familiar!” A guy with long blonde hair piped up from the back.

Simon’s stomach churned and he wanted to run away. No one was supposed to know who he was. They reassured him that the whole thing died down fairly quickly in America. How many of these kids have watched the video?! Did they know who he was as soon as he walked in?!

“You look like a Spanish version of Nick Jonas!” continued the guy.

The churning calmed a little.

Ana glared, placing her fists against her hips. “Shut up, Darren. Simon is not the Spanish version of anyone.” She paused and glanced at him. “But, if he is, he would be Harry Styles.”

“It’s the curls!” a girl with dark hair with pink tips called out with a grin. “They’re really cute!”

Before he knew what was happening, Simon was bombarded with compliments about his hair and face. He could swear he had never been as red in his entire as he was in that moment.

Soon, a different guy stepped up, willing everyone to calm down with his hands. “Okay, everyone, stop simping over Ana’s cousin. It’s time to start the meeting! We have a lot to talk about today!”

Ana nudged Simon and gestured with her head to the back of the classroom. Simon followed her. She took a seat next to the window. The empty seat beside her was across from the guy who spoke up earlier.

As the guy at the front (“That’s Dominic, he’s the president of GSA,” Ana had whispered to him) began to go over the agenda for the day, the guy next to Simon leaned over.

“Hey, I’m Darren,” he whispered with a toothy grin. “I’m your resident pansexual.”

Simon bit his lip and whispered back. “Simon. Do we… have to share our sexuality here?”

Darren chuckled and shook his head. “Nah, you’re not obligated to. Some people are here just as allies but a couple do end up figuring themselves out. So we tend not to label or share labels. But, I don’t give a shit, I want everyone to know they have an equal chance of dating me. So, that includes you.”

He winked and Simon, to his horror, felt himself blush again. He was just gonna end up looking like a tomato by the time he returned to Sweden if he kept this up.

“Darren! Anything you wanna share with the class?”

“Nope, prez. Just welcoming our new member. Please proceed, you know we love listening to your gorgeous voice.”

Dominic raised an eyebrow at him before getting back to what he was saying.

“I’ll get you to say ‘yes’ to me, eventually,” Darren muttered under his breath.

Simon couldn’t stop a chuckle from leaving his lips. Darren flashed him a grin and, for what it was worth, Simon finally felt a bit at ease.

He snuck a look at Ana, who caught his eye and smiled, encouragingly.

Maybe she was right. He could meet new people here and make new friends. Maybe, for just a few months, he could forget everything that happened in Sweden and just be... back to normal.

He was willing to try. If only this empty feeling inside him would go away.

.........

If Wilhelm thought that Christmas break without Simon was bad, being at school for a month without Simon was worse. Everywhere he looked and turned, he half expected Simon to be there, looking at his phone or eating a clementine or flashing Wilhelm a smile that made his cute dimples appear.

More times than he could count, Wilhelm had run after Sara, practically begging her for any information on Simon. The girl always refused him.

“Give her time,” Felice said to him one day after another failed attempt. “She loves her brother and she’s on his side.”

“I just want another chance to apologize,” said Wilhelm. “I want to make things right. And I want to at least be friends with him again.”

Felice wrapped an arm around him. “You will. Just give it time, okay?”

Wilhelm had agreed, if only to reassure himself that he was going to be fine. Maybe the longing would stop. Maybe he would wake up one day and just accept the fact that Simon was no longer in his life.

He knew it was all a big fat lie but it was okay to dream, right?

Which was why he decided to take his chances that one Saturday. Students were allowed to leave the school grounds on weekends to visit the town, if they so pleased, so Wilhelm took advantage of that. With Johan driving and Malin in the passenger’s seat, they left Hillerska for the day and headed to Bjarstard.

His stomach was filled with butterflies. Excitement or nerves, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was both. He ran over various things to say in his head. But, when they pulled up in front of the familiar one-story home, he forgot it all.

Nevertheless, he raised his chin and marched with determination to the front door. He hoped Simon was home. That Wilhelm could finally see him. That they could finally talk. He just hoped he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Clearing his throat, he raised a fist and knocked, firmly and loudly, against the door. It took a minute but, eventually, it slowly opened, very slowly.

Linda peeked out, looking wary and cautious. But, when she saw Wilhelm, the guarded look switched to surprise.

“Wil… Your Royal Highness,” she greeted with a slight bow of her head.

Wilhelm hated it. He preferred Linda’s casual treatment of him as if he was any other kid. He supposed he didn’t deserve that anymore after what he did to her son.

“Wilhelm, please,” he said to her, managing a small smile. “Hello, Linda.”

The woman smiled, fondly, and she opened the door a bit wider. “Hello, Wilhelm. How are you, cariño?”

The gentler tone eased his worries.

“I’m… fine.” He cleared his throat. “Um… Is Simon home?”

Linda’s smile disappeared. “Why?” she asked.

Wilhelm flinched, hating that the guardedness in her voice was back. “I just want to talk to him. He left Hillerska and I… I just want to apologize again and… Please.”

He must have looked rather pitiful because he could practically see Linda’s resolve melting. She stared at him for the longest time, contemplating. Finally, she nodded and let him in.

Wilhelm’s heart skipped a beat and he had to hold himself back from running in and calling out Simon’s name. Malin, dutifully, followed behind him, shut the door, and stood guard.

“You can head on to the living room,” said Linda. “I’ll make us some tea.”

Wilhelm nodded and did exactly that. He made himself comfortable on the lumpy couch and looked around. The place looked neat and chaotic as always. A basket of Simon’s favorite, clementines, was placed at the center of the coffee table. He once told Wilhelm that it was the one fruit he couldn’t live without.

Then, he spotted a new addition against the wall that led towards the bedrooms. Well, not new per se but it was no longer in Simon’s room. (And, thinking of Simon’s room led him down a path of memories that made the longing in him increase tenfold. Where was Simon? Was he out for the day? Wilhelm would wait until night if he had to.)

“Here we are.”

Linda arrived with a tray filled with two mugs of tea and a plate of cookies. She placed it on the coffee table before handing one of the mugs to Wilhelm.

“Thank you,” he said taking it and looking back at the fish tank that was now placed against the wall. “Why did Simon move his fish out here?”

Linda, who was in the middle of placing the plate of cookies on the table, looked up towards the tank. A sad smile graced her lips.

“Well, I have to remember to feed them now so it’s easier if I see them,” she said, picking up her own mug and settling on the couch.

Wilhelm frowned, confused. “Why do you have to feed them? Doesn’t Simon do that?”

Linda looked at him for a moment, sad again, and took a sip of tea before placing the mug on the table. She tugged her wool sweater tighter around herself and crossed her arms at her stomach.

“Wilhelm,” she began. “I want you to know that… I’m not angry with you, okay? And, I’m sure that Simon isn’t either.”

Wilhelm’s stomach churned and he took a polite sip of the tea before following Linda’s lead and placed the mug on the table.

“What happened to both of you… you don't deserve it.” She reached out, probably to touch his hair, but refrained at the last minute. Instead, she patted his shoulder and pulled her hand back.

Wilhelm longed for her motherly touch.

“But, as a parent, I had to protect Simon.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat and brought a hand up to rub at his tightening chest. He didn't like her tone. It was foreboding. The gentle calm before the storm.

Linda’s eyes flickered to his hand and scooted closer. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek. Wilhelm leaned into it.

“Wilhelm… cariño… Simon left Sweden.”

Wilhelm’s world crashed.

“There were stalkers, they kept following him home. And the reporters wouldn’t stop asking him questions and one day… he got hurt.”

The tightening in his chest wouldn’t let up and he rubbed harder.

“I had no other choice. I had to send him away for his own safety.”

Stalkers... Reporters... Simon got hurt because of him. And, now, he was gone. No longer in Sweden.

“W-Where?” he managed to ask.

But, Linda shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you.”

Wilhelm’s eyes stung. “L-Linda… I-I’m s-sorry… I’m so… s-so sorry…”

Finally… Finally… Linda moved closer and pulled him into a hug. Wilhelm couldn’t help himself. He hugged her back and cried into her sweater.

She rubbed his back, whispering, “I know. It’s okay to cry, Wille. It’s okay.”

Wilhelm didn’t know how long he cried but, at some point, he did calm down. Maybe it was because Linda started humming a nice melody to him. Or maybe he was just spent and tired. But, not once did Linda let him go. Despite everything, she still chose to comfort him.

He had to force himself to move away from her arms, guilty and grateful at the same time.

She smiled at him. “Feeling better?” she asked.

God, it reminded him so much of Simon always asking after him that he wanted to cry again. It was clear to see that Simon got his gentle kindness from his mother.

“Yes,” he croaked. “Thank you.”

She picked up his mug and handed it over with a pointed look. He obediently drank the now lukewarm tea. It did little to soothe his sadness, but it was still nice.

“He won’t be gone forever,” said Linda with a smile. “When this all dies down… when the country forgets and moves on to something new, he’ll come back. Just… for now… I need him safe in a place where no one knows him. It’s what’s best for him.”

It made perfect sense. But, it didn’t mean that Wilhelm liked it. Simon was further away from him than ever. At least, if he was still Bjarstard, Wilhelm could still visit. He could still try to rebuild their friendship. And, when he was finally ready, he could ask Simon to give him another chance.

But, now, Wilhelm didn’t even know where he was. And Linda clearly didn’t want to tell him, worried she was about Simon’s safety. (A part of him wondered if she was also protecting Simon from Wilhelm. That thought hurt but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.)

“Would you like to stay for lunch?” Linda asked. “It’s kind of lonely with just me now, with Sara at Hillerska and Simon...” She trailed off and sighed.

Wilhelm pressed his lips together. “I don’t want to impose.”

She patted his arm and offered a smile. “Not at all. Your bodyguards can join us, too. I have plenty. I’m still not used to eating alone.”

The temptation was too good to resist. Besides, he didn’t want to return to Hillerska and suffer through a meal where August only sat a couple of chairs away, always wanting to talk to him even though Wilhelm never responded.

“Alright,” he agreed, smiling back.

Linda beamed and stood up. “Okay, good. I’m almost done cooking. Make yourself at home.”

“Can I… Can I feed Simon’s fish?” he asked, nervously.

Linda chuckled. “Of course. Their food is right on top. You can just move the cover. Simon says four shakes is enough.”

With one last smile at him, she gathered up their mugs (she left the cookies on the table) and headed off to the kitchen. He heard her extend the invitation to Malin, who thanked her and promised to call Johan in.

Pulling himself together, Wilhelm stood up and approached the fish tank. A small container labeled “fish food” in Simon’s familiar print was on top. He picked it up before carefully moving the cover to the side. He counted out four shakes and watched as the little bits of food floated down towards Olle, Oski, Felle, and a fourth fish whose name Simon never told him (because Wilhelm had distracted him enough to forget).

“I miss him,” he whispered, watching them eat. “I bet you, guys, do too, right?”

The fish ignored him.

Were they mad at him, he wondered? Did they know what he did? Did Simon cry in front of them?

Sighing, Wilhelm put the cover back and the fish food on top of it. Then, he headed off to the kitchen to help Linda set the table.

It was the least he could do.

...

A/N: Yes, I went back to watch the scene and counted Simon's fish lol

#young royals #young royals fanfic #simon x wilhelm

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angeltrapz · 3 years

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saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

#thank u so much I love getting asks frm u!!!!!!#mutual support hours <3 #saw #eric #adam #art #daniel #others r mentioned #listen. a family can be u yr dad n his two boyfriends n yr all traumatized but yr coping together.#it pulls u together instead of tearing u apart.#which is a concept I desperately wish we could've seen more!! it's what they all deserved damn it!!#long post #asks #gnna go thru n tag these w that so I can like. maybe make a masterpost l8r?#if any1 is interested in tht!

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sapphicomenn · 3 years

Text

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

#artemis rants #the avengers #avengers #marvel #the mcu #marvel movies #marvel cinematic universe #glowy cube is back!#chitauri = seafood #LOKI #MAN IS PLAYING GALAGA EVEN AFTER BEING CALLED OUT #SHIELD IS A DICK #SPACE LEVIATHAN

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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August 2: Too Many Thoughts on The Circle France

I’ve gotten back into watching The Circle France, to perhaps too great a degree. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking about it and then I had dreams about it, which can’t be good. Even before last night, I was getting some French dreams in there more generally, which I’m sure is from the show because where else.

I was a little skeptical of it at first. I think part of that was that I was a little burned out, after basically inhaling S1 and S2 of the American version, and part of it was from trying to get into the French specifically. I know enough where I feel like I should listen first and then read, but not so much that I can forgo subtitles. It’s tough, though, a lot more mental work than watching in English. My French is rusty and even at my peak proficiency I never knew that much slang--certainly not the slang of the show, which, uh, probably hadn’t even been invented yet.

And finally the first episodes were dragged down by the presence of les grandmeres, I’m sorry to say. They just weren’t good, either at playing Nicolas specifically or the game generally. I think they bit off more than they could chew. Like, Lee played a younger person in the American version S2 but he didn’t change his gender or his sexuality or even, ultimately, much of his personality--he just aged himself down. And not as far down as Nicolas, either! There’s a big difference between 20 and 28. Les grandmeres were fun as real people but, like many catfish, not as fun in their profile form, and their attempts to be 20 years old while not knowing any slang (or who Harry Potter is) were... a little cringeworthy. I feel bad saying it! But it’s true. I felt like the game opened up a lot after their elimination.

I stopped watching yesterday just when Virginie was setting herself up, so I haven’t seen her interact with anyone else (I prefer not to end on cliffhangers, @ Netflix). It’s weird to think that, assuming a final five like in the American version, there are only 3 more eliminations.

Personally, I’d like to get rid of Paolo and Nelia most. Paolo is awful. He’s so pretentious--21 year old philosophy student??? No. And he’s in his head way too much. Like most 21 year olds, he simultaneously takes the game WAY too seriously (overthinking every little thing like, dude, chill) and thinks he’s way too cool for everything and everyone else. Kick him out. Nelia isn’t quite as bad but like, again, I think les jumeaux take the game way too seriously and their overly emotional responses to everything really stress me out. Like, they take everything as a personal attack on themselves as people, which is just fundamentally not true and decidedly exhausting. I appreciate their shit stirring capabilities but they need to CALM DOWN. They’re not even stirring things up on purpose or for their own fun. They do it accidentally because they’re way too earnest about everything.

They’re both/all in a difficult spot just from how late in the game they entered. It’s very hard to make it to the finals when you’re a new person. Paolo in particular I think will be gone soon, and this isn’t entirely a blind hope. I mean I could very well be wrong but if Ines solidifies her alliance with Gabriel and Nelia, which she seems to have done, and if one person from each team ends up an influencer, it could essentially end up as a stalemate that eliminates Paolo, the only free agent (while Virginie is new). He might not be a free agent by then, but he doesn’t seem the alliance type. Too silly--he’s above it. I certainly wouldn’t trust him very far myself, though it’s sometimes hard to tell and/or remember what the contestants themselves know of each other--since they have interactions I don’t see, because of editing, and I know things they don’t, because of cameras.

If both influencers are from Team Ines, then Romain is gone. He used to be one of my faves, and to some extent he still is, because I appreciate his chaotic energy, but I think he’s been too bold and basically painted the bullseye on his own back. If Ines has the chance to take out anyone from TeamWinner it will be Romain, no question. And she has 3 chances to do it. She doesn’t even need another person from her Team sitting across from her. She just needs the other person to NOT be Elea or Valeria.

I also think that TeamWinner has started to isolate themselves, such that they may have a hard time getting to the top spots. If they’re known to look out for themselves first, no one else will want any of them in positions of power. It’s hard to predict rankings exactly when people are teamed up as they are, but I would be concerned about that if I were them. If the version of the story in which they backstabbed Gary and manipulated Ines into blocking him gets out--that’s basically it.

I’m not sure what to think of that entirely, btw... from what I saw, it did look like Gary was betraying Ines, and some things he said out loud seem to back that up. However, Valeria and Romain absolutely did set him with the express intention of getting rid of him, and even my precious, blameless Elea said in so many words that she was throwing him under the bus for Valeria, so.... I don’t know man, maybe Ines is the only real victim here. She talks a lot but isn’t effective in getting her agenda to play out, as can be seen by the decimation of her original team. Even though Romain and Elea were my faves, and still are to some degree, Ines has a great ‘revenge story’ on her hands, and there is sort of a part of me that wants to see her take down TeamWinner just because they got too cocky and played too dirty. See the underdog vindicate herself, as it were.

I don’t know who I see winning at this point. I think Paolo and Nelia are long-shots, again just because they came in later--Virginie for the same reason, even though I haven’t seen her interact with anyone yet so it’s hard to tell. She could just as easily do just well enough to fly under the radar for three more eliminations and make it to final 5. Too soon to tell. Paolo, because of his lack of alliances, I think will have a hard time. Nelia will need a lot more loyalty and closer connections than she has now, even with a spot on Team Ines. Will it matter that Ines’s other alliance, Gabriel, thinks Nelia is fake? I don’t see a strong connection between them as such--only between each of them and Ines--though that could still change.

Romain, again, I think has a target on his back. He’s becoming known as a Game Player and Game Players, like Antonio (USA S1) and Cedric, are prime targets for elimination.

Valeria... it’s hard to tell. At the point where I am, he’s basically the most skilled subtle game player since... probably Trevor/DeLeesa. But way, way sneakier. DeLeesa was partly playing under the radar. Valeria is a purposeful puppet master. He’s managed to become le cerveau while actually convincing everyone--including Romain--that Romain is le cerveau, essentially having his cake and eating it too. People do what he wants, but no one feels threatened by him. I could see him taking that to the finals. BUT I also think one misstep could quickly unravel his whole game--much like what happened with Cedric tbh--so I wouldn’t be too confident about him making final 5 yet.

Elea I think will make it, unless Ines manages to take out all of TeamWinner. But she’d have to get 3/3 of all of the remaining eliminations, which is plausible, but unlikely. It’s conceivable she’ll take out Romain and the whole house of cards will fall. But it’s more possible that she’ll take out Romain and then alliances will shift and Elea and/or Valeria will find other avenues to the finale.

Gabriel flies so completely under the radar lol. He’s in that interesting position where’s not an OG but he’s been there significantly longer than the other recent additions. I feel like I know him as a person, but not as a profile. I have a hard time placing where he is in the game, even though as a person, I like him and wouldn’t mind seeing him advance or, at this point, win. He’s probably the least suspicious of them all lol.

Ines I think will make it to the end. That’s mostly just an instinct. It’s possible TeamWinner will get rid of her successfully--she probably is their next target--but ultimately I think she’s poised to strategize her way at least past three eliminations, if not to the top spot.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #whyyyy am i like this lol

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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962.

How many times each morning do you press the snooze button? >> I don’t use an alarm, and even when I did, I didn’t use the snooze button. I either got up or I didn’t.

What time of day do you like to shower? >> Morning. As soon after getting up as possible, so I can get it over with.

When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? >> I think that depends on what restaurant I’m at and what food I’m ordering...

What do you spend more money than necessary on? >> Probably streaming-service subscriptions. I should get back into pirating, but it’s always video quality and availability of subtitles that trips me up with that.

What video game or computer game are you best at? >> I don’t know. I used to be quite good at Guitar Hero but now I’m down to “passable on most songs on Hard, iffy on Expert”. Most of the other games I play are RPGs and stuff, which don’t really require mastery from me (and while I can play FFXIV just fine, I wouldn’t say I’m particularly good at it, because I play more casually).

How do you normally come across new music? >> Spotify’s algorithmic playlists.

What do you keep your keys on? >> A thing by the door. It came with a HorrorBox back when Sparrow was subscribed to that -- it’s a small mockup of the “redrum” door from The Shining and it has hooks on it for keys.

Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? >> Yeah, I don’t actually wear gold except for some jewelry.

Do you buy books or get them from the library? >> Borrow them from the library or read them on Scribd.

What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? >> I don’t follow the Food Pyramid, it’s a crock of shit.

Do you check PostSecret weekly? >> No.

What do you use your stovetop for most? >> Personally, I rarely use the stovetop.

Do you notice the impact of the economic recession in the US? >> Which one? Not sure when this survey was made. Anyway, no, I usually don’t notice stuff like that because my economics are always recessed anyway, lol.

Would you enjoy living somewhere where it's sunny all the time? >> I doubt it. I love the Sun dearly but even I get tired of it.

What is it that you always seem to lose? >> I don’t lose much of anything.

Have you ever broken any bones? >> No.

What is your winter coat like? >> It’s a thigh-length black quilted number, thin, with one of those foil-type linings to hold in body heat. I hate a big bulky coat.

Do you keep dirty clothes in a hamper, or on the floor? >> In a hamper.

Which decade's music do you like best?: 60's, 70's, 80's, or 90's? >> I like music from all of these decades.

Can you focus on studying if there's music on? >> The only things I can do with music on are physical things, or other things that don’t require higher thought processes like phone games.

In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? >> All of them, ideally. I wish I could just exist in a soundproof bubble sometimes.

Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? >> Not to my recollection.

If you had to choose a wardrobe to steal, who's would you pick? >> I don’t want to steal anyone’s wardrobe.

If you had to pick one thing to bring back from the 90's, what would it be? >> ---

What about the 80's? >> ---

Do you share any of your music taste with your parents? >> Yes.

Could your parents tell when you would fake sick? >> I never did this. I didn’t even get sick enough to know how to fake it.

Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? >> Less, probably.

Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? >> Yeah, developmental trauma. *wheezes and slaps knee*

Are there any stores that send you e-mail newsletters? >> No, I opt out of them immediately.

Do you think people overuse the word "random"? >> No.

How often do you floss? >> I don’t.

Do you use hairspray much? >> I don’t use it at all.

Who is your favorite painter? >> ---

Are art museums interesting or boring to you? >> Some are interesting, most aren’t. Most of the time I’d rather go to a different kind of museum.

What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? >> ---

When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? >> The “stay by myself and hope the bullies leave me alone” game.

Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? >> I rarely experience power outages, but I’d imagine I’d find them more annoying than enjoyable.

Do you know how to use an ATM? >> Of course.

How about write a check? >> Certainly, although it’s useless knowledge now.

Are you in to your heritage much? >> ---

Are you pretty politically correct? >> I don’t know how to quantify this.

What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? >> I don’t think there’s anything to understand...

What do you wear when you exercise? >> Whatever’s the most comfortable.

What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? >> Clean my face, if I remember.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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spnreactionblogging · 3 years

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DRAG ME AWAY (FROM YOU)

TW SUICIDE I GUESS

spoilers below - backdated from 10/29/2020

is this named after toto's "africa"? I hope this is not a buckleming episode (but then, I always hope that) I feel like I recognize this "travis johnson" actor too but I don't know why this a motel for monsters? vampires? why do I know this name don't off yourself, dude. please. a ghost? oh boy. this child actor is terrifying oh fucking dean, why won't you tell sam what's going on. "it's just cas being cas." I'm so upset always with how dean won't talk to sam honestly. cas clearly doesn't want it withheld from sam! and lmao shout-out to the "don't text and drive" PSA this aerial shot is gorgeous along the lake oh those matching converse, so you can easily identify your child's shoes the child actors they cast for young sam and dean are always so spot-on 😭 I'm so proud of sam for getting into stanford oh the winchester family music, don't make me cry :( I love the visual of the gun/knife laid out next to the college guide, it's making me very sad how life turned out for sam (it's smamford that has hunter classes) "my delight" bar? I trust meghan she's also a car nerd immersion therapy to face your fears of things that don't exist... doesn't work when monsters are real a witch? haunted vending machine... I love the "monsters are real" talk. I note that young dean leaves out sam, "my dad and I hunt them" the abductions were with increasing frequency maybe it only eats kids but travis was "the one that got away" god how old is dean like 13? is caitlin better at picking locks I was expecting the abduction sites to form a pentagram or something aw, boggle it's been a while since we had a weechesters episode, hasn't it the boggle letters can spell KILL, PIE, DEAF, HAT, TALL, PILL, PIT, DEW, FAD, WON, NAY and probably some others but I'm not 100% I remember the rules or boggle either. KILL is the most visible at a glance dean stop lying to people ah SAM KILL YOU NOW sure there you go TRAVIS DEAD DEATH KILL YOU NOW yikes, worst game of boggle ever pretty sure not all of those were in the boggle, there are missing letters, like the R for TRAVIS ah, the ring. it's always some haunted jewelry with witches, like that amulet in that other episode with the witch stealing the girls' life force this is like the uh, the episode with the box. where the shit in the safe had sam trying to kill himself with fake rowena she's like a pied piper or something "we used to keep a lot of secrets from each other!" says sam, while dean is withholding information from him right this very instant a veggie burger, at least he asked I love billie's jacket billie's not wrong but dean IS a piece of shit I think caitlin is actually the monster because we know the monster can appear as other people, and "the funeral was last week" so that's... interesting and now she is alone with sam dean prioritizes chuck's death over jack's life, and there it is. that's that. he knows sam won't go for it. he knows cas wants another solution. so he lies to billie, again. they have great locations in this show "liquid bubbling" does not bode well front desk girl, BUT IS SHE??? there's 214 again, "I've seen this movie before" is he referring to 1408 or something else was that a heart? this motel has its very own wet pipe factory isn't the IT sequel that the surviving kids get hunted, I haven't seen either of them yeah take that dean stop being a liar "call this number" do they still have a hunter switchboard or something, wasn't it basically just bobby? I guess it can be AU bobby GOD thank you sam for not letting him pull that shit, fuck dean for mocking "ethical questions" in scarequotes (from the subtitles), and thank fuck for sam winchester "I thought we were past this, I cannot believe you" oh same, oh same so much. pretty solid one, feeling tentatively positive about this except i'm afraid castiel is gonna die in the next episode 😬 so not enthusiastic about that

#s15e16

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regressionanxiety · 4 years

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From Russia With Love (1963)

Time for that second Bond movie y’all! Like last time it is basically me recapping the movie with my own comments thrown in so you know, spoilers (also one for the last season of Designated Survivor, because I’m like that).

Ah after a brief look through the barrel of the gun we enter the classic Bond cold open for the first time! Bond is playing cat and mouse with a broad shouldered blond in a fancy garden with statues and hedges and shit. The blond man pulls a wire out of his watch and strangles Bond, oh no! Flood lights turn on and we see many men wearing the exact same outfit (black on black, turtlenecks). The man is congratulated on his perfect time (1 min 52 sec). Then we take a look at Bond on the ground, wait, it isn’t Bond? It’s a mask! It is another man, still dead though.

INTROTIME! This time it is the credits projected onto a dancing woman's body (007 of course gets the breasts). The great thing about this franchise is that it will never let you forget just how misogynistic it is.

youtube

This time we start in Venice. We know this because there are canalboats and a big sign that says that we’re at “Venice international grandmasters championship” A chess tournament then, and on the board of the next match is a reminder that we are a long time ago and that czechoslovakia is still a thing (also the indoor smoking), just like on one of the maps we had when I was a kid in school because they couldn’t afford to replace it. Anywhoo, Venice, chess.

Scene change, we’re now in a floating lair (a boat or maybe I should say ship, big yacht?), there’s a small aquarium with fish that eat each other, a white cat being petted by hands attached to a man whose face is not yet revealed who is issuing commands to a russian woman. He/they are SPECTRE of course, our old enemy. She is “number three”, he has a hideous ring with the SPECTRE octopus symbol. Number 5 joins them, he is the Czechoslovakian chess player (Kronsteen???) (who won), together they discuss their evil plan. They are stealing some decoding machine from the Russian in order to do so they need a female from the Russian cryptography section in Turkey and British intelligence, they will of course not know that they are being used. Bonus: They may get revenge for the murder of Dr. No. Number 5 has made it obvious that it is a trap because British intelligence won’t be able to resist it.

Now we’re back at the estate of the opening scene, where fake Bond was killed. Blond Man is tanning on a blanket, a blonde woman is joining him as a helicopter carrying Number 3 arrives.

Ah, those lazy bottle bleached days...Nr. 3 is looking for a Grant, ostensibly the Mr. Blond. They walk through the tranining facilites and the guy who met Nr. 3 brags about them using live targets on occasion, because training is well and good, but cannot replace experience. She finds him acceptable. I like Nr. 3, she’s a little subvertive (but of course she is evil *eyeroll*).

Ah, here appears a Russian woman, presumably the aforementioned “female” Tatiana Romanova (wow, such russian). Nr. 3 has reading glasses thicker than coke bottle bottoms.

Those subtitles say “I will obey your orders” and so she will, otherwise she’d be dead. Nr. 3 is not to be trifeld with. Romanova has been hand picked to be a seductress, to Bond presumably. Who we meet in the next scene, he’s in a boat with a woman, Syliva, who caresses a scar on his back and asks if it is from another woman who was jealous, “yes, but I haven’t turned my back on one since” he replies. We met Sylvia in Dr. No, he had to leave for Jamaica then. Their little outing is interrupted by beeping that means Bond must phone the office, which of course needs him, and so Sylvia doesn’t get quite as much attenton as she wanted, but he makes time for some “lunch”.

Back at M’s office they realize it’s a trap (Nr. 5 was clearly correct in is analysis of British intelligence), but Bond is intrigued once he sees the picture of the stunning Romanova, of course.

Enter Q, Bond gets toys this time around! Not just a new gun like last time, now he gets a suitcase with twenty hidden rounds of ammunition, a secret throwing knife, and AR7 folding snipers rifle, .25 caliber with infrared telescopic sight, some hidden 50 gold sovereigns in the handle, a tin of talcum powder that is teargas that will explode if you open the suitcase in the normal way, instead Bond must first turn the catches horizontally, then open normally. Bond thinks this is ridiculous.

Then he says goodbye to Miss Moneypenny with the traditional flirtation that goes nowhere and gets his plane ticket to Istanbul, gives Miss Moneypenny the picture of Romanova and writes “from Russia with love” on it. Oh Bond...

He lands in Istanbul and someone is following him already, because of course they are, two mustached men as well as the SPECTRE hired Grant. The mustaches are hunagrians hired by the russians according to the driver, “they follow us, we follow them, it’s a sort of understanding we have.”

The driver takes him to Kerim Bey, who says the driver is is son, so are all his top employees because blood is the only thing to be trusted. I think he is in for a rude awakening at some point. Kerim warns him that it is a foolish endeavor and that he should spend a few days enjoying Istanbul and then go home.

We see Grant again, with someone gagged and bound in the back seat. Bond goes to his hotel, and it’s no dump, he’s in room 32, and it comes wired with bugs, luxurious! Bond asks for a new room because “the bed is to small”, they agree to show him the bridal suite

Meanwhile Grant dumps the car and the body of the man in the back outside the Russian consulate (I think), so that they will suspect the British, and as Nr. 3 says “the cold war in Istanbul won’t be cold very much longer”

The next morning Ali Kerim Bey’s office is bombed as he’s about to have sex with a woman who moaned his name until he put his papers down and gave her attention. She’s a spy for sure, because he’s not that interesting. Bond shows up later and he and Kerim Bey go down under the building, where there is some underground cave/channel and a boat (and rats).

Kerim Bey has a fuckin telescope under the Russian consulate! He runs through who is who, including the beautiful Romanova. They decide it is best Bond doesn’t go back to his hotel. Now they trick their tail and go visit Kerim Bey’s “Gypises” who he uses “Like the Russians use the Bulgars” this is going to be some racist stereotypical nonsense isn’t it?

Some Russians (one of them they saw in the telescope and is probably the guy who made the mine that blew up Kerim Bey’s office) are up to something, seeing Bond & Kerim Bey’s arrival.

Ah yes, two girls are in love with same man and are threatening to kill each other, it will be settled in the “gypsy way” whatever that is. Kerim Bey and Bond are invited to a table with them “I hope you are good at eating with your fingers,” he tells Bond. Ah, of course, belly dancing, a lil throwback to the intro credits that.

While Bond is being entertained, the Russians are creeping in. Mr. Grant of SPECTRE is also lurking about. The two women who are in love with the same man fights each other, just as one has a bottle over the other’s head the Russians crash the party. Fighting ensues, Bond saunters through with ease, or the secret aid of one SPECTRE agent who needs him alive long enough to aid with the decipher acquisition. Remember Bond has yet to meet Romanova, he’s only been here one night!

Bond has saved their leaders life, and is now “his son”, and asks if they can’t stop the “girl fight” - Oh Bond, they don’t need you you ass. The man says he can decide.

They are delivered to his tent and he is told to decide, it fades out to him saying “this might take som time” followed by a Connery smirk (he’s a very pouty man isn’t he? Also he’s in his thirties here...)

Bond and Kerim Bey go to take out the Russian who attacked the, since Kerim Bey has been shot, Bond has brought his little folding rifle. Kerim Bey insists on shooting even though he only has one arm. Bond lets him. There is a secret hatch in the wall, opening in the mouth of a woman who is postered there, ample opportunity for some jokes about her pretty mouth that...

Bond is back at his hotel now, doing the most human thing I’ve seen him do, kick of his shoes. Then he orders breakfast for one at nine, green figs, yogurt and coffee, very black. He slowly undresses and makes his way towards the bathroom, he sniffs something strange in the air. THen he hears thumps. He grabs his gun and goes to check it out, wearing nothing but a towel.

Enter Romanova. Naked, in bed. They greet, he tells her she is beautiful, she tells him she think her (very small) mouth is too big, he thinks it is just the right size and they kiss, or rather he kinda rubs his mouth against her. Really, I never enjoy kissing on screen, but Connery is terrible at it. He asks her for blueprints of the consulate, she promises it, but they will fuck first. She’s got one job, lay back and think of Russia. Nr. 3 & Grant are outside filming. It’s a porn now, I’m sure you can track down a recreation of this as an actual porn somewhere, rule 34 and all that.

I hope his dick is better than his kisses Ms. Romanova. The next day Romanova and Bond meet at St. Sophia, the Russian’s Ukrainan is following. Tourists are getting a very monotonous tour. Grant takes care of the Ukraininan as she’s about to steal the information left for Bond.

Bond & Kerim Bey have a chat about how mysterious it was with the Ukraininan, and Bond also says that Romanova will do anything for him, Kerim Bey does not believe that, he’s sure she’s a double agent. Bond says he only wants the dechiffrerer anyway, Kerim Bey asks “is that all?” and they have a chuckle.

Bond & Romanova meet on a boat, he has a camera that is really a tape recorder and he asks her questions about the decoding machine. She asks if he will make love to her in Englan, he says yes and we see M and the rest of the office listening to the tape. M ends up throwing Miss Moneypenny out of the room, she looks like she’s about to start laughing. She of course can listen in via the intercom at her desk, M. knows this and asks her to send Bond a “cable”. M. gives Bond the go-ahead for the deal over the decoder. Bond tells Romanova it will be on the fourteenth, not the thirteenth, even though it will be.

Bond walks into the russian consulate, a convenient bomb, set off by Kerim Bey in the tunnels below, causes chaos and he seeks out Romanova and the device. They escape down into the tunnels, but oh no, the rats!

They must go another way than inteded, Kerim Bey leads the way! They escape the Russians aboard a train, but Gran is of course there, they are playing straight into his hands, oh no! Will Bond get out of this pickle? The question should really be will Kerim Bey and Romanova get out of it.

One of the russians got onto the train after all, Benz, and they seek him out, stuff a handkerchief in his mouth and Kerim Bey sits down with him, to keep him company until it is time to get off. Well, that is until Kerim Bey is murdered. Grant of course, but they seem to think the Russian and Kerim Bey did each other in. Bond takes Kerim’s yellow cigarette holder or whatever, and looks sad. He has lost a friend.

The train trundles past Kerim’s son who is supposed to pick them up along the tracks and he is confuse. Bond takes out his upset on Romaonova, demanding the truth from her.

At six thirty-three the train arrives in Beograd. Where another of Kerim’s sons await, getting terrible news. Grant is doing his usual lurking about. Bond gives the son Kerim’s items and jumps back onboard. Next stop: Zagreb, where Bond asked someone to meet him, but Grant takes the mans place. They re-board. Bond sends Grant (maquerading as Captain Nash) and Romanova ahead of him to the restaurant wagon. Then proceeds to sneak into Nash’s suitcase.

During the meal Grant spills Romanova’s drink, refills with a little something extra. Pretty sure Bond sees it, but lets it pass. Romanova feels unwell on the way back. They put her to bed, then Bond puts a gun to Grant, who smooth talks his way out of it, shows Bond a map and stuns him with the handle of his gun (a lot of that going round in this movie). They’re in the same space as the suitcase with the tear gas, and I’m sure Bond is going to get out of this pickle by tricking him to opening it so that the tear gas booms him.

Now for the villain tells too much talk! yay! I love these, they’re so ridiculous (spoiler for Designated survivor, in season three when Maggie Q’s character is just killed with a comment about how in real life that’s not how it goes, I was howling, and crying as she was the only reason I bothered watching still, very okay with it being cancelled). Bond is being a classist prick as usual and says he should have known since Grant ordered red wine with fish (PS. I’ve drank an entire bottle of cheap red as I watched this, hence the deterioration in uh, quote accuracy and “proper” language). Bond is all “you SMERSH people” smh, but then realizes that, no of course, SPECTRE! Ah, acronym soup.

I still can’t believe this guy is in his thirties here. Anywhoo. Grant says “I don’t mind talking, I get a kick out of watching Mr. Bond finding out what a bloody fool he’s been making of himself. We’re pro’s Mr. Bond.” 1. If you were pro’s you would have shot Bond already 2. I’m sure he’ll use that damn suitcase against you! Grant admits that Romanova doesn’t know she’s working for SPECTRE, that she believes she is doing this for SMERSH. Grant also calls Bond “old man” and who is older? I cannot tell.

Here we go, Bond tricking him to opening the suitcase by promising him the 50 sovereigns. Fighting time! Here comes Grant’s watch wire, but Bond isn’t so easily offed when he’s real aaaand he off’s Grant with the very same wire. Beautiful. Bond then takes his cash and calls Grant’s body “old man”. I’m ded.

The train starts hooting, there’s a truck on the tracks. Bond grabs the half conscious Romanova and drags her off the train with him. She falls asleep under a bush. He sneaks around some more, looking to get Grant’s men. He knocks one out, ties him up, throws him in the truck. Then he throws Romanova on a literal (truck) bed of flowers before getting in the truck himself. They’re driving off in the night, then the day. A yellow tailed helicopter, suspiciously like the noe nr. 3 arrived in when she picked up Grant comes at them. Bond runds around and let the helicopter chase him. This is terrible. Alright scenery though.

Bond hides in a convenient rock formation and brings out his rifle again. Guy in helicopter is about to throw down a hand grenade, but Bond and his .25 rifle shots him in the arm so he drops the grenade INSIDE THE HELICOPTER

Once again Bond survives through luck. Now they’ve arrived at a boat (still following Grant’s escape route I guess) and the driver is out of luck, once they’ve reached full speed Bond pushes him overboard. They’re headed for Venice (from Croatia if I’m not mistaken).

Cut to the floating lair of guy with white cat, where nr. 3 and 5 are meeting with him, and she, of course, gets blamed for the failure, despite having followed the plan. She says Bond was the reason, but five won’t hear it. That poor cat isn’t being petted right. She thinks she’ll be killed now, but instead guy with cat (number one) gives five a kick with a poisoned blade that came out of his boot. Three is now very keen on getting Bond so she will live.

Now Bond is in a boat chase, the chasers shoot out all the fuel barrels. So Bond lets them all plop into the ocean, then makes them go boom with a signal gun. I’m not sure that’s how that works, but okay. They loose their chasers.

Now we’ve come full circle, back where we started. Venice. Hotel room. Maid shows up, pretty sure it’s number three here to steal something. A time for Romanova to figure out her loyalties. She picks Bond. I must admit I’m a bit sad, three was a good character to root for, but only if she ran her own evil empire.

“James, behave yourself, we are being filmed.”

“Oh, not again.”

THE END.

except not quote because James Bond will retur in GOLDFINGER. See ya soon Mr. Bond.

#james bond #sean connery #007 #from russia with love

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ottorocket808 · 4 years

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Chapter Two: The Weirdo on Maple Street

I wonder how they coaxed her back to Mikes house it was probably easier than I think because they’re also kids and it’s raining and cold because I’m pretty sure it’s November in Indiana. I’m just gonna say that the lunge clap isn’t the best way to tell if somebody is deaf I’m pretty sure they’re gonna flinch regardless because you lunged at them. 🤣🤣🤣 Modesty don’t exist where she’s from y’all cut her some slack. Wait is that blood? Wait it’s probably from her nose. I don’t even know where the nearest ‘nuthouse’ is why does Lucas? How did Dustin and Lucas both forget that they snuck out the house and therefore telling any adults right now would be a bad idea?

Yo Joyce is talkin about spending $2000-$3000 on missing posters and he’s in a different dimension and this is in 1983 that might as well be $20,000-$30,000 now I know my mom would know my voice anywhere they gotta stop doubting Joyce no matter what interference came down the line.

Hop and these pills are gettin on my nerves you are not House sir sidenote Hops reaction to Jonathan volunteering to go to his dads house felt like dick measuring why wouldn’t he want him to go looking for Will if seeing the cops would mean he runs again which means even longer until he comes home.

Don’t start shit with your little brother when he knows your boyfriend was in your room last night without your parents knowledge or consent Nancy. Sidenote it’ll never not be suspicious to hear your kids say ‘nothing’ together when you ask them a question.

I think Wills been missing for 2 or 3 days at this point where is he getting water? I’m pretty sure this kid is well on his way to dehydration on top of breathing in the toxic atmosphere of The Upside Down Will is a strong little dude.

I think I’ve spotted Els first Eggo that might be why she likes them so much Mike gave her her first one I mean Eggos are good but plain with no syrup no butter and lukewarm and she still likes them more than anything else. El’s hesitation towards telling any adults makes perfect sense after what happened to Benny.

Calling a lady crazy who’s kid just went missing feels a little insensitive I mean what did she do in regular my kid isn’t missing life that would make him say that?

Steve’s hair looks so much better but he’s kind of a dick because he invited Nancy to the ‘party’ not her and Barbara which isn’t really a problem is that he did it in front of her but if you pay attention to his ‘friends’ they aren’t any better in all honesty this is just a double date. Nancy’s little brother hangs out with Jonathan’s little brother all the time you’d think she’d stand up for him just because of that I mean she looks legit guilty listening to the others make fun of him I mean how many times has Jonathan been at her house to pick up Will?

Mike said damn goin to school I have girl who doesn’t think I’m weird at home.

I’m pretty sure this is what older siblings are for sharing music and teaching you the ropes to life and giving advice.

Jonathan also said damn goin to school

Lonnie still hasn’t made an appearance and his youngest son has been seen in 2-3 days he ain’t even called Joyce back and he knows that he’s missing and that there’s been full on search party and he’s been AWOL this whole time.

Where the hell did they find a Pinto? Joyce is kind of a boss she got a phone and a pack of camels for free and two weeks pay in advance.

Am I trippin or did the news call the power company a completely different name? If they did who are The Bad Men supposed to be pretending to be? I wonder why Hop didn’t notice the goop on the wood.

I need to know how them getting 3rd in the science fair was political what was their project? How does she know? It’s almost like she was about to start hyperventilating did she see him in her sleep because as much as the Demogorgon scared her I can’t imagine her looking for him on purpose. Was the baby not strapped into her car seat because Mikes mom got into the house way too fast.

I feel like Hop should be concerned that one of his officers was gullible enough to believe that anybody could survive that drop into cement I mean water.

Man these govt people suck Justice for Benny.

Lonnie doesn’t have a single picture of his kids in that house if he did his girlfriend would know who Jonathan is.

Shout out to Dustin for picking up on keywords like ‘Danger’ and El is racking up favorite character points with the double door slam topped off with the locked door El is in the lead as my favorite 2nd is a three way tie between Joyce Mike and Dustin.

Lonnie won’t be getting father of the year anytime soon but his car is sick 1972 Oldsmobile 442 I ain’t mad at it at all. I don’t know why people in small towns swear that people in the city are more ‘real’ you have bullshitters everywhere Lonnie should know he was fake In Hawkins and the only thing that changed was his address and the car he drives.

Barb wasn’t invited to the ‘party’ (double date) and Nancy knows this Steve said do you wanna come to my house not you guys y’all or any other variation. Nancy begging her to go and using Wills vigil as her suggested excuse says a hell of a lot about her character she knows that it’s only supposed to be the four of them because again this is a double date her making Barb be the 5th wheel so she would feel better sucks.

Mike choking on his milk cause he sees El coming down the stairs followed by Dustin’s ‘spasm is still funny but Nancy using Wills Vigil to sneak to see her boyfriend still rubs me the wrong way.

And that torn piece of El’s gown makes its appearance good eye Mr. Clarke.

The boys use so many words she doesn’t know I wonder how lost in conversation she was in the beginning. Dustin looked so grossed out by the spit swear part and I don’t blame him. El looked super suspicious of what Mike was saying about friends telling each other things that parents don’t know.

Parking 3 blocks away is a little excessive. Barb really should’ve just dropped her off and went home. Nancy should know her best friend well enough to know that parties aren’t her thing. Nancy likes to play stupid but she’s not she should’ve just gone by herself there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with the guy that you like but dragging your friend along is unnecessary.

Ew Hop wears tighty whiteys wait who is that lady? So I have the subtitles on and they say her name is Sandra still don’t know who she is but at least we got a name.

El’s powers are crazy strong no wonder they want her back so badly she touches the D&D board closes her eyes for a second and knows which piece is Wills. Dustin is in the drama club? I wonder if he is a lighting and sound guy. You can tell that shit just got real to these kids.

Quick question how close do the Byers live to Steve? I mean for Jonathan to hear Carol scream it’s gotta be pretty close maybe Will had to run way farther than I originally thought. Everything about Barb screams ‘I don’t wanna be here’ shorty still has her coat on she looks extra uncomfortable you can tell this isn’t her thing Barb is a better friend than Nancy deserves. She cut her hand trying to shotgun a beer to make Nancy happy and when she goes inside looking for bandages Nancy doesn’t help she stays outside and plays with her not boyfriend and his ‘friends’ There’s a strong ass lesson about peer pressure wrapped around these five. Jonathan has gotta know that this is creepy I mean he’s hiding behind a bush damn near frantically taking pictures of the popular kids having fun how’d he switch so fast from looking for his brother to this weird shit?

This is the 2nd phone Will burnt up tryna call home man they are $30 a piece man we need a better communication attempt. Ask and ye shall receive sidenote I really do like this song I wanna learn to play the intro where is the dog I know the Demogorgon didn’t eat him but he just disappears. I feel bad for Joyce she’s always alone when the weird shit happens because the Demogorgon coming out the wall like that was some scary shit and nobody but us saw it. That’s how you know she ain’t worried about somebody running off with her whip Joyce has the doors unlocked the windows rolled down with the keys in the visor.

I don’t understand why she begged Barb to go to this thing if she was gonna have sex with Steve anyway and then talking about go home how Nancy she’s supposed to be spending the night at your house to help cover the truth about what’s going on. And Barb being half stubborn half a good friend goes down to the pool to wait for her friend to finish losing her virginity so they can go Barb should’ve gone home and ignored Nancy the next day at school. How did Jonathan not hear The Demogorgon growling or Barb scream and he was what 30 ft from the pool?

#JusticeforBenny #JusticeforBarb #stranger things #Stranger Things #StrangerThings1 #Stranger Things Season One #The Weirdo on Maple Street

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