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nothorses · 4 months

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I think trying to find one perfect answer that applies universally is the critical mistake here. I mean, I am a gay man. I say this because as of yet, that's the clearest answer I have for myself personally; maybe there's a possibility I experience attraction to a woman at some point (maybe I already have???), but I don't really have clarity on that right now, and it doesn't serve me to shape or explain my identity around "maybe"s.

Trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that attracts me to other men, specifically, is also like... not that useful. I used to find myself really attracted to feminine men specifically; not feminine women, not masculine women, not masculine men, not androgynous anyone, but feminine men. Specifically, men who were feminine in a very particular, long-hair-certain-attitude kind of way.

Recently, I have found myself appreciating, more and more, a certain kind of masculine body type and gay masculinity that I was never really interested in before. I find it incredibly hot. A lot of that coincides with things I appreciate about my partner, too, and things I find myself appreciating more about my partner as time goes on- as well as things my partner expresses appreciation for about me!

And I haven't even touched on attraction to nonbinary folks here because, like, it's a massive spectrum. "Nonbinary" means something different for every individual nonbinary person. To my mind, of course there's a possibility I experience attraction to a nonbinary person; how they identity, present, and what attracts me to them are all even more impossible to know for certain than the "maybe"s and the "why"s around my attraction (or lack thereof) to men and women.

My relationship to my own orientation was vastly different pre-testosterone versus post-testosterone, too. I was much more reserved and uncomfortable with relationships and attraction before I started T, and the only dynamic I ever felt was even a little bit tolerable was one where I was the "masculine woman" in a lesbian relationship. I didn't realize until very shortly after starting T that, actually, I like men. A lot. I felt comfortable with my body and my masculinity in a way I never had been before, and I felt comfortable in relationships with men; I no longer felt like I was The Woman By Default in contrast.

And that's all just me! This is my personal, specific, individual relationship to attraction, and how gender- both others' and my own- factors into my relationship with orientation.

I don't think it's necessarily inborn, or completely unchanging for everyone. I also don't think the same factors apply for everyone. I think a lot of different things can be true for different people, all at once, and it's not really useful to try to pinpoint a specific, universal explanation for orientation.

Everyone has a different relationship to orientation and gender; everyone will be influenced differently by cultural factors, by their own ways of processing and understanding the world around them, by the ways different aspects of their culture, identity, personality, and inborn traits and how they all interact with one another, and sure, maybe even by biological factors and tendencies.

Trying to solve this puzzle for the entire world of diverse human beings isn't going to make it any easier to understand yourself. Focus on what this all means for you, personally, and accept that you will never, can never, fully and perfectly understand anyone else's internal world and workings. Things get a lot easier when you can let go of that & just appreciate the diversity of human experiences, y'know?

#advice #sorry if this isn't the answer you wanted anon #and honestly I recommend digging into some academic works around queer and gender studies #try some judith butler if you need a starting point #but like. people have been asking this question for some time & you will find so much more value in the answers of people whose whole lives #are dedicated to exploring the possibilities and diversity of experiences #and putting that in larger contexts with help and collaboration from a whole world of people doing similar work

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doubleca5t · 7 months

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

see I can tell that this is a bad faith ask because I've been getting an influx of terfs on TikTok lately but I'll take the bait and answer this legitimately. I think the *actual* answer here is that sexuality is complex and even though we put a lot of labels on it, those labels are ultimately never going to account for every possible corner case and so rather than constantly redefining the terms of our sexuality I think it's better if we just embrace the messiness of it all as part of the game.

Like I consider myself a lesbian (and you would probably consider me a straight man) which *should* mean I'm only attracted to women. But I've also found myself attracted to drag queens and femboys and some non-binary folks who identify more on the masculine side of the spectrum. Does that mean I'm actually bisexual? I don't think so, because I don't feel any attraction to dudes (cis or trans) who aren't actively playing with gender in a way that's either flirting with femininity or wholeheartedly embracing it.

I imagine plenty of gay men have a similar experience seeing women who present very masculine or a non-binary person who's more on the femme side. And before you accuse me of insisting that lesbians can be attracted to men, there is a HUGE difference between saying that gender non-conforming people throw a wrench into people's sexual identities and saying that "lesbianism includes men".

In short, the reason why I don't have a definitive clear cut answer to your question is because I think human sexuality defies such an answer. I just so happen to be ok with that because I think it's a better, easier way to live

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yaoiboypussy · 6 days

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

Why are you asking me this do I look like I know

#.txt #anon #asks

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what-even-is-thiss · 7 months

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

There’s whole subsets of philosophy and science dedicated to this sort of thing, dude. If you’re looking for one particular answer that applies universally to all gay men or all of one orientation or gender etc that’s not useful and if you insist upon getting that one particular answer you come across as dangerously ignorant.

Asking what it is that makes someone gay is a bit like asking “What’s an American?” or “What’s a country?”

At first they seem like straightforward questions but once you dig even a bit below the surface you’ll find that everyone and every place and every situation has a different answer. Is the EU a country? Is India? Is Idaho? Why? Why is a Mexican an American in Spanish but not in English? Spanish speakers will be insulted if you say they’re not American but Canadians will be insulted if you say they are. And Americans as in persons and from the United States of America aren’t as clear cut a group as that quick little definition I gave you would suggest. Why would someone living in the US for over a decade not consider themselves an American? Why would someone who just moved here insist they are American? Is it citizenship that makes you American? The continent you live on? How do you draw lines between continents? At what point do you identify more with your adopted country than the one you were born in?

Being gay is similarly complicated. What makes you gay? Your gender? Your attraction? Who you’d prefer to marry? Who you’d prefer to have sex with? Is gay a political position? Does it mean you’re happy? Is it a girl’s name? A surname? Is it only for men? Is it also for women? Is it a slur? Is it a reclaimed slur? Is it just a word? Where are you in time? What language are you speaking? Are you personally more attracted to genitals or hands or smells or the whole package? Can you sometimes fall for someone not typically your type? Is it a personality thing? How much of your attraction is influenced by your genetics, the balance of hormones in your parent’s womb, your society, your upbringing, your friends?

The only available answer is a non-answer because sexual orientation isn’t an arithmetic question. There’s no A+B=C that can be applied universally to all people who identify with a certain term. Any more than one singular definition can be given to a country, a gender, a continent. There’s some things that just don’t have one solid iron clad definition and anyone attempting to give them one typically has an agenda.

Anon, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that you’re not here attempting to cause trouble and that you’re genuinely curious. But if you’re here attempting to set up bait, please reconsider how you think about definitions and queer identities and identity more broadly.

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saintjosie · 5 months

Note

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

i think i believe people when they tell me who they are and who they like, and any conjecturing otherwise is invalidating and homophobic.

i also think that instead of speculating or assuming other people’s intentions, the world would be a hell of a lot better if people spent more time understanding themselves and listening to others with empathy.

so that being said - why do you ask anon?

#cw homophobia #really weird and intellectualizing homophobia #but homophobia nonetheless

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heyiwrotesomethings · 1 year

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DEMON SLAYER CUZ YESSSSSSSS.

shinobu x female reader

I wanna kick uzuis ass again soooooooo

Uzui is being a dick to everyone because he is in a mood and make fun of shinobu (u find the reason nth comes to mind rn) and the reader having an awful day herself kicks his ass and brings him to his wives "next time that disgrace you call a husband insults my soon to be wife again I'm gonna cut his tongue of and shove it so far up his ass it will come out of his mouth again 🙃

have a good day ladies oh and do keep him a check or I will 🙂 byeeeee"

gl finishing all of those rqst

Bad Morning

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: I don’t know what’s up with me, but this threat was a bit too descriptive for me and since this is like, at least the third time we’re beating Uzui up, this one is kind of lackluster, apologies! Hopefully I still got the message across lol. Hope you still like it! Word Count: ~1,220

Uzui Tengen woke up on the wrong side of the bed earlier that morning. Which was to say Suma had accidentally pushed Makio out of bed, which in turn lead to Makio dragging her out of said bed by the ankles in retaliation. Tengen tried his best to ignore them and focus on Hinatsuru’s cute mumblings as she turned to lay on her other side, but Makio’s growls and Suma’s cries made it downright impossible.

“Could you two keep it down, goddamnit! Why does this have to happen every morning?!”

“Maybe we should invest in a bigger bed.” Hinatsuru murmured, pressing a pillow over her head.

“Or we just make Suma sleep on the floor. She kicked me last night too and I have the bruise to prove it!” Makio pulled up the hem of her sleepware to show the bruise her thigh was sporting and Suma wailed.

“I’m sorry! Let me kiss it better! Don’t make me sleep on the floor Makio, please!”

“Nobody is sleeping on the floor!” Tengen groaned. “I’ll get a bigger bed, okay? Can I just get one more hour of sleep—“

“Caw!” Nijimaru came in through the window with flapping wings and rattling beads. A damn fine, flamboyant bird if Tengen did say so himself, but he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather see less at the moment. “You’ll be late for the meeting if you stay in bed any longer, Uzui!”

“Damn it all, that’s today?” Tengen shot out of bed, jamming his toe against the bedside table. He cursed and limped his way to the bathroom, now even more pissed because he would have to skip his morning skin care routine if he was going to make it to Oyakata-sama’s mansion in time.

He barely had enough time to bathe and put on his makeup before heading out the door. No time to even eat breakfast. At least Suma ran him some toast at the door and jumped up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. It certainly made up for the rude awakening at least, sweet girl.

Still, all the toast and kisses in the world couldn’t make him shake off the sour mood he was in. His morning routine was sacred. When his routine was disturbed, it honestly felt like his whole day was ruined.

People have bad days. It’s normal to maybe ask for a little space, to tell people you aren’t really feeling yourself, but the moment you use your bad morning as an excuse to be shitty to other people, then expect your day to get much, much worse.

“Iguro, come on man. Can you get your scrawny ass outta my way? Shouldn’t you be sitting like a broody tree’d raccoon by now?”

“We’re talking, walk around. It’s a fucking garden.” Sanemi was quick to shoot back as Obanai glared.

“Nobody can make anything easy today, can they?” Tengen sighed loudly, bumping into Sanemi as he walked past the two fuming men.

He rested in his usual spot, hoping to maybe get a little bit more sleep in before the Master arrived. However, Mitsuri was talking up a storm with Shinobu and (Y/n) and the excitement in her voice as she spoke made it hard for Tengen to relax.

“She made me dango for helping me get her cat out of the tree! Isn’t that great? It was really good too! And then—!”

“Gods, Kanroji,” Tengen groaned, “would it kill you to take a page out of Tomioka’s book and be quite for once?”

“Hey! What the hell is your problem?” (Y/n) scowled.

“Just because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, it doesn’t give you license to make everyone else around you feel miserable as well.” Shinobu chimed in, she put a reassuring hand on Mitsuri’s shoulder while she gave Tengen a disapproving look.

“I’m gonna kill that bastard.” Obanai growled, Kaburamaru hissed in agreement.

“Perhaps you should take a page out of Tomioka-san’s book and butt out of conversations that have nothing to do with you, hm? Contrary to what your ego may tell you, the world does not revolve around you.” Shinobu added for good measure.

“Big words for somebody so small. I could crush you like a grape between my fingers.”

“Uzui, my friend! You should stop talking before you say something you’ll really regret!” Rengoku advised.

“So disgruntled,” Shinobu tisked pityingly, “Given how out of sorts you are this morning, I doubt you could even brush me with those meaty, perpetually sweaty hands.

Tengen took a deep breath through clenched teeth, but (Y/n) spoke up before him, her voice low, warning,

“Uzui-san, I’d listen to Rengoku-san if I were you. Act like an adult and let it go. With any luck, the meeting will be over in an hour and you can sleep the rest of the day away.”

“Tch,“ Tengen sneered, “how about this, you tell your little, and I do mean shrimpy, puny, girlfriend to zip it, and then I will too.”

“I am not her keeper.” (Y/n) said through gritted teeth.

“Well if she can’t keep her mouth shut, why should I?!”

“Ah, my deepest apologies, Uzui-san,” Shinobu began, not looking very sorry at all, “(Y/n) and I had a rather late night in the lab ourselves. My mistake for trying to hold you to the same standards we hold ourselves to.”

Tengen was seeing red. He wanted to wipe that perfect little smile right off of Shinobu’s face and before he could think better of it, he had thought of something to say that would hit her where it would hurt.

“Wipe that fake-ass smile off your face, little Kanae wannabe. You want to imitate her so bad, start by acting like less of a bitch maybe.”

Well, that sure made the smile fall from Shinobu’s lips. Her expression became impassive, an eerie blankness, but no one took the time to really notice because (Y/n) was already leaping to her feet, kicking up pebbles that scattered over Tengen’s thighs as she got closer.

“The fuck did you just say?!” Sanemi growled, his head snapping towards Uzui.

“Uzui-san, I know you can be abrasive, but that kind of talk is unacceptable.” Gyomei spoke up for the first time that day and that was how Tengen knew he might have really fucked up.

“Okay, okay, you are a fucking dead man now! I don’t give a damn about you not getting your beauty sleep, you wanna play nasty, we’ll play nasty alright!”

(Y/n) knew Shinobu could take care of herself, but she also knew that Uzui had hit a nerve. Like Shinobu had said, they had a tough night, tougher than Uzui’s, she imagined. She had been helping Shinobu with her latest experiment on her journey to find a poison that could end an Upper Moon.

Despite all of the promising research, the experiment had fallen flat, or well, more accurately caused a small explosion that (Y/n) and Shinobu spent the next three hours cleaning up after. Thankfully they had been wearing the proper gear during the whole ordeal, but they still smelt overwhelmingly of wisteria.

(Y/n) got close enough to Uzui that he could smell it on her and the potency stung his nose. She grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and he engulfed her wrist with his hand—

“Oyakata-sama is coming!” Mitsuri squealed, noticing two of the Master’s children leading him around the building. It must have been one of his good days and he decided to take a stroll.

“I’m not done with you.” (Y/n) hissed, letting go of Uzui’s uniform with a shove before quickly dropping to the ground.

“You’re like a yappy little dog,” he sneered, “All I gotta say is, ‘boo!’ and you’ll be shaking in your sandals.”

“The first thing I’m gonna do is cut out your own tongue and feed it to you, asshole.”

Tengen grit his teeth together. The Master was much too close now to continue trading vulgarities.

Tengen started out the meeting boiling hot, but listening to the Master speak had its usual calming affects and before Tengen knew it, he was in a relaxed, meditative state. It was the closest thing to sleep one could have while awake. It was like magic. The Master bid them all farewell and Tengen inhaled deeply, then released a relaxed exhaled, tension leaving his shoulders. He felt so much better—

(Y/n)’s fist came sailing at him with all the force of a mantis shrimp and she decked him, making direct contact with his temple.

“Alright Uzui, how about you and me go for a little stroll?” (Y/n) grunted, heaving the hulking man to his feet was no simple task, especially now that he was having a hard time standing up himself after that vision spotting hit. She turned to look back at Shinobu with adoration and concern, “Would you like to come along, dear?”

“I suppose.” Shinobu shrugged before rising to her feet as well. Truthfully, she didn’t want to have to look at Uzui for another minute, but if (Y/n) accidentally killed him, that would be one less Hashira and they were already spread thin enough as it was.

The remaining Hashira, that cared enough to, watched on as (Y/n) pulled Tengen away from the mansion by his ear, very thankful they weren’t in his shoes at that moment.

Tengen shuffled down the path, bending with (Y/n)’s sharp pushes and pulls while the two women discussed what they should eat for lunch. Sadistic beings…

Though it was hard for his eyes to focus because of that sharp punch to his temple, he soon recognized the scenery and realized (Y/n) was taking him home, to what end, he was afraid to find out.

“Good afternoon, ladies.” He heard (Y/n)’s muffled voice through the ringing in his ears.

“Oh gods, what did he do this time?” Makio groaned.

“(Y/n)-san, I don’t know what he did, but please, be a little more gentle with him.” Hinatsuru requested hesitantly.

She was hesitant because she knew her husband had a track record of saying or doing stupid things. Even Suma, the most sympathetic of the bunch, could agree that sometimes getting slapped around a little bit was warranted when it came to their husband’s unfiltered words and uncouth actions.

“Don’t worry, I caught him off guard with the first punch, so I didn’t go any further. I probably nearly fractured his skull since he didn’t think to defend himself at all, don’t you think so, Shinobu?”

“Oh yes, given how he’s been wobbling, and that he threw up in the bushes on the way here, it’s safe to say he would have been in real trouble if you had decided to keep going.”

Makio, Hina and Suma paled, quickly taking possession of their loopy husband when (Y/n) offered him to them. It was difficult to keep all that muscle up right, so they could only imagine just how furious (Y/n) was to have been able to basically drag him all the way home.

“The next time your disgraceful, woefully un-flamboyant husband says or does anything that hurts my fiancée, intentionally or not, he may not make it back to you in one piece. Understand?”

“Yes, we’ll talk to him. I’m sorry.” Hinatsuru hung her head low.

“You have nothing to apologize for, but when your husband snaps out of it, you might suggest he start looking for ways to atone because I’m not quite so sure I could hold myself back if I see him again too soon. That single punch was not satisfying at all.”

“We’ll work on it.” Makio swore.

“We promise! Please don’t kill him!” Suma sobbed.

“I won’t kill him, too much paperwork.” (Y/n) promised, then after a pause added, “Well, I wouldn’t kill him on purpose anyway.”

“Here,” Shinobu stepped up to the three horrified looking wives and handed Hinatsuru a small paper bag, “I suspect he has a concussion. I have provided all instructions and materials needed to give him proper treatment.”

“Thank you…” the three answered in unison.

Shinobu gave them a short nod of acknowledgment before linking back up with (Y/n). The two strolled off like nothing had happened, smiling and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes as they disappeared over the hill.

“We need that new bed stat!” Suma said with an exhausted sigh as the trio dragged Tengen into the house.

“I think our dumbass husband needs a personality check more.” Makio grunted.

#demon slayer oneshots #kny oneshots #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #shinobu x reader #shinobu kocho x reader #shinobu kochou x reader #requests #anonymous

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butchbarbieagainstterfs · 5 months

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I don’t know why you’re asking me about gay men when I am…not a gay man tbqh, and there are plenty of gay men out there who aren’t transphobic and, I am sure, have spoken about this.

I’m a lesbian. I like women. One of my first crushes as a kid was on Nicole Kidman in the Golden Compass. When I was looking at her and being attracted to her though, I wasn’t thinking about vulvas. I wasn’t thinking about what she had going on downstairs. I just thought she was very pretty. That…hasn’t really changed much, as an adult. And I don’t get that with men and never have. I’ve never been attracted to them at all and wouldn’t regardless of what they had going on downstairs.

Now if that makes me bi or pan to you, quite frankly I don’t care and I also just want to put it out there: if you in your sexuality need your partner to have a certain genitalia set, that’s perfectly fine. Don’t date trans people. Have this conversation with your partner to make sure they aren’t trans. That’s your business and quite frankly your responsibility.

I also think this kind of question in a failed attempt at a gotcha is just reiterating the idea that being gay is an adult thing, because you never bring up straight people in this same manner. You are implying that the only thing that makes people gay is wanting sex with a certain type of genitals, which is the same exact sexualisation homophobes do to us all the fucking time. Being a lesbian isn’t just about wanting to touch vulvas.

Now I will be pinning this so I do not have to answer this kind of shit again, and you will never be darkening my page again because I will not be answering any further messages from you or anyone else that sends me this bad faith, poor attempt at trying to claim a lesbian is homophobic simply because he disagrees with you about trans people. Have the day you deserve. Now fuck off 😘

#anti terf #personal

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wizard0rb · 4 months

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

why are you asking me this. what prompted you to come to me with this question

#ask #what is going on

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itsgrimeytime · 10 months

Text

Magnolia in May (Part Twelve) || Rick Grimes (TWD) x Greene!f!reader Regency AU

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11...

Taglist: @loliakeoghan23 @belaballs @curlycarley

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration (in honor of Speak Now Taylor's Version): Enchanted by Taylor Swift.

Summary: Your town was small, not the smallest you knew, but anyone of high fortune was the gossip of the week. Predictably, Richard Grimes was a thing of whispers -rumors of a search for marriage among the grassy hills. You weren't one to buy into town gossip, but something about him... just seemed a little too intriguing.

TWS: insecurity, crying, fear of unrequited love, and doubts.

[[A/N: He's so pretty in this giffff. I know it's not the right format but I refuse to give up such a stunning one for something so simple. The way he rolls his jaw to bite down a smile????? girl. Sister talk, girlies. No Grimes in this one sorry, but we got some sisterly bonding soooooooo. Thanks for reading !!! ]]

"Madelyn," Maggie hummed, rather absently -combing through your hair to put it up intricately, "-or maybe Charlotte?"

You furrowed your brows, fingers threading over the embroidered tips of your skirt -a beautiful sort of shining blue thread that swirled along the hem. The sort of cream-colored satin paired well with such a blue, at least your Headmistress said so, and fashion was something you found you trusted her in. At the very least.

"Maggie?" You questioned.

She hummed, sort of distracted -you could feel her fingers nimbly sorting through your hair, "Yes?"

"What," you began -insistently, "-What are you talking about?"

"The names of your future children."

"Mine?" You spoke -incredulously, "-why not your own? I don't believe it's standard to dream of the name of someone else's future child."

"Not if the matter is seeming to grow in importance," Maggie retorted- casually, but still somehow teasingly, "-with an upcoming engagement."

You flushed, a faint sort of crimson decorating your cheeks -flustered as always. Your family had been merely intolerable since the dinner (which you'd only extended the invite to your Father -you'd decided with Mr. Grimes that another dinner could serve better for such formal announcement purposes after he made his intentions clear to Father), all teasing smiles and words of a wedding, marriage, and children as if it was such a casual thing to discuss.

It was honestly rather infuriating but you were far too happy for it to bring you down.

"Oh, please, Maggie-" you retorted with a rather sly grin, "-you speak as though you have no such engagement yourself."

"That's-" she stopped braiding, suddenly, "-That is hardly the same thing, Mr. Rhee... Mr. Rhee hasn't declared to me such intentions."

"Right, and just because he hasn't spoken of such ventures, you assume he doesn't wish them?"

"What is a man if he is not to speak his mind," your sister echoed, slowly, you suddenly got such a sense that something like this had been bothering her. Something heavy in the air, but before you could ask, Maggie took your hair back between her fingers -braiding ever so delicately.

"He could very well be nervous, you know," you poised gently, "-men are not above such feelings."

"Nervous of what? He-" she responded, hands slowly slightly to tell you she was listening -rather intently, "-He must know that such things would cause a delight in any young lady."

"Perhaps, you're not just any young lady to him, sister," you hummed, almost soothing, "-I find it hard to speak such intense things for those I care for so intensely. It's a conundrum that I'm fairly certain plenty struggle with. Maybe even, Mr. Rhee."

"But Mr. Grimes," she started, before puffing out a breath -rather decisively, "-he seemed so intent with you. I never considered you to be anything but long-term pursuance."

"To you," you responded, frankly.

"To me? Oh no-" she echoed, suddenly in front of you then, green eyes persistent, "-I'm sure half of Alexandria was certain of such a-"

"Not me."

Maggie paused, her trail of thought lost between her lips, as she merely stared at you. A sort of deep-seated wonder fluttering in her irises, eager to understand you. She'd always had such a rebellious streak, but you'd never seen such empathy in someone. You were sure she was feeling much more than she let on.

"When you're falling in love," you spoke -a sort of wistful tone, "-it's hard to tell sometimes. I... I believe it to be a quite sudden realization, rather than something you learn to feel gradually. Maybe even quite scary. But to say that, you have to acknowledge how merely impossible it is to watch someone fall in love with you. To know it's happening."

"And you didn't know, then?" she asked, a bit in disbelief.

"I knew he was fond," you clarified, "-I knew where it was headed, but still. I found myself lacking in such belief he cared for me in the manner I cared for him. So much so, that the events happened the way they did."

You were picking at your dress -fingers pinching where the blue thread embroidered its delicate pattern, never enough to damage it. But speaking of such events didn't quite erase the heartbreak just yet, even though it had all been rather settled you... you weren't sure the ache would ever completely disappear. Just the curse of misunderstanding.

"Maggie," you started again, strong-willed -spoken with intent, "-don't discount that the man may love you just because you don't see it. Or that he wouldn't choose to. I... I've done so, and the assumption only did harm, we both know that."

"Then," she started, almost a little helpless, "-What am I to do? How do I- If it's hard to see, how can I believe such a thing?"

You hummed, gently bringing one of her hands to yours -encasing it in your palms, "Have you told him of such concerns?"

"I..." she began, defensive, but softened -tired, "-I wasn't entirely sure it was appropriate for a young lady to ask such a direct question."

"A fair thought, but-" you began, "-this involves your future. It's not exactly just his concern, you have plenty at stake yourself. If Mr. Rhee isn't willing to speak freely of his intentions, you must be free to find someone who will."

Maggie paused, almost sinking into the bed where you sat -green eyes fogging up, "I don't wish to find anyone else. I-"

You shushed her, wiping away the tears on her cheeks with the padding of your thumb -slow and precise, "Why not just tell him, sister?"

"Okay," she echoed -softly, and sniffling, "-okay. But how I am to wait to... Why can I not just attend now?"

"Sister, I'm not the one to ask for such advice. As I've been known to storm out for such purposes you may have."

"It's not raining," she stressed, suddenly rising to her feet, "-and it's morning."

"Far better circumstances, yes," you echoed, following her with haste, "-but are you prepared for such an encounter?"

"What are you expecting? A duel?"

"No," you shook your head -scanning over her rather frantic appearance, "-such a meeting is intense in its own right. I'm not so sure you're in the right mindset to speak to him with such intensity."

"Right mindset? Y/N, I just want to tell him I love him!"

The silence in the room was loud, a sort of heaviness cracking through the air -a desperate, sort of feeling you knew well. Clawing up your throat, every minute feeling like your last, what if I'm losing him? You wondered distantly if this is how you looked that dreadful night.

Maggie was stunning, always had been, but there was something in her air that set you off. You knew of such nerves, such anxiousness, such desperation -please love me. And it was right there in front of you, laid out like a flower just beginning to bloom -you could see it all in her. For different reasons, but at another point, the very same reasons.

You were slow, hesitant to speak and break such heaviness, "You do? You... You love him?"

"Of course I do," she whispered, barely there, "-I've never... What I feel about Mr. Rhee is something I truly cannot bare to lose. You must understand, I have never felt quite so... whole."

"Maggie," your voice cracked -softly, tears rising to your eyes.

"It's like," she continued -voice quicker with tears aplenty, "-like I cannot remember how I felt before him. How my life felt before him. I... can't lose him, I just can't."

"Maggie, breathe," you spoke -soothing, careful steps closer to your sister and running your hands up and down your arms, "-I know it may feel like you're losing him, but you are not. There is no reason for you to assume so-"

"There is!" She echoed, but the shake in her voice was less -you took what you could get.

"Is it something he told you himself?"

"I..." she started, voice lighter, "-no, but I haven't encroached on such conversation."

"That is where you start then," you reiterated, something deep in your chest twinging, "-trust me, the heartbreak of such thoughts isn't worth it. You need clarity-"

And with that, you spun around and grabbed the coat that matched her dress -securing it over her shoulders with ease. Hands carefully smooth down her rather tussled hair from the morning and wipe away some of the tear stains. Looking at it now, the blush on her cheeks from crying was rather complimenting -you supposed Headmistress was right last time.

"Look at me," you tilted her face to match yours, "-you go to him, and you only speak to him, directly."

"Will you come with me?"

"Come with you?" You asked -incredulous really, "-To your love confession?"

"Not-" Maggie groaned, "-not that part, but the walk and the buildup, I... I believe I may get too overwhelmed on my own-"

You sighed -a deep hearty sort, caring, "If you wish me to, there's nowhere else I would choose to be."

"Thank you," she whispered lightly, shaky but genuine, "-I could never do this alone."

"Give yourself more credit, you are plenty capable."

"Y/N," Maggie echoed -a little breathless, "-I don't know this... this feeling. I fear I cannot be rational with something I don't know."

You paused, taking her in, wondering if it was how you appeared amid all the letters and the chaos and the heartbreak. Did you look so desperate? So distraught, so... so hopeful of something you never truly dreamed would happen?

You smiled, small, "Oh, my beloved sister, there is hardly anything rational about love. Look at me for instance-"

She listened, intently. You truly hoped you could guide her in the right direction.

"-I... I went out in the pouring rain to understand if he felt as I did. After I realized he did, I ran out in the night on a hunch that he'd be by a stall-" you laughed -incredulously, "-Because I didn't wish to be too late to tell him so. Does that sound like the proper etiquette of a lady, then?"

"No," she spoke softly, a bit in a weepy sort of laugh -a mixture of sadness and happiness you'd always felt was far too powerful.

"But it was rational to me then," you explained, "-I felt... I felt as though I had to do it because I loved him so. It overpowered my etiquette, I suppose."

"So," Maggie echoed, gathering pieces, "-you... I wouldn't be rational either way?"

"Maybe one day," you clarified, finishing up your hair yourself in the mirror, "-when it isn't so... fresh. I'm afraid I'm not even there yet to tell you the honest truth of it."

"And-" she started, quick but you held onto her words, "-if he was to not reciprocate such intentions... I would, what?"

"Maggie," you hummed, spinning around back to match her, "-I say this with the most honesty I can give you. Mr. Rhee is terribly in love with you, beyond a doubt."

"But-"

"He looks at you as though you are the sun after a few long, cold nights," you expressed, dusting off the shoulders of her coat and pressing some creasing to vanish, "-like he spends every minute he's awake and away from you, missing you."

"You've hardly seen him," Maggie whispered -tone broken but you could almost see the warmth light up behind her eyes: hope.

"I've seen far enough to tell you that," you responded, carefully folding your hands in front of you once more, "-even in my limits... I know it."

She smiled a bright one, with her brilliantly sparkling green eyes shiny with tears. Something in you softened, your little sister in love-

You knew it was coming, eventually, the stubborn Maggie would find her match, but even with that knowledge, you wouldn't truly believe you were quite prepared. It was almost surreal for a moment, seeing her for the woman she was rightfully becoming.

"And if he doesn't, I'll make him sure to regret it," you added, quickly, playfully.

Something deep in there, a support, a solace, for the worst-case scenario. You didn't wish to think it, but if it were to... you would stand behind her proudly.

"And if Mr. Grimes does anything of the same caliber," Maggie smiled -eyes still a bit fogged and wringing the nerves in the pressure she held between her hands, "-you know who to call upon."

And that, in fact, you did.

#rick grimes #its griming time #stuff n' thangs #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction #twd #twd rick #rick grimes fanfiction #rick grimes oneshot #magnolia in may

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foggyparadisecandy · 1 year

Text

On the Dangers of B—-i Sleep

[NOTE: this is NOT an advertisement to search out the files described. Just don’t. Don’t. I’ve listened to hypno files for decades with minimal impact. These files have damaged me. Perhaps permanently.]

Please consider reblogging if you think this can help others facing similar struggles.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

True confession time: I have listened heavily to a series of hypnosis files called Bambi Sleep. Why? I’ll get into that in a future post.

For now I want to discuss the dangers and possible paths out for anyone struggling with the effects - as I very much have been over the last few days.

SAFEGUARDS FIRST

I’m using words which are triggers so let me provide some incredibly useful instructions to all the Bambis and old selfs reading this:

Bambi is always as smart as she needs to be.

Bambi is always just as smart as she needs to be.

Simple instructions that Bambi obeys because Bambi is obedient and takes instructions. Bambi does as she’s told so she now knows:

Bambi is always as smart as she needs to be.

Bambi is always just as smart as she needs to be.

With those instructions, Bambi knows when she’s in hot water with abusers who want to upend and likely ruin the life of her “old self”, the original listener.

And guess what?

THE ENDLESS LINE OF ABUSERS

In the online world or anonymous assholes, there are a TON of abusers looking to play with Bambis and the old self with absolutely zero regard for long-term damage.

In fact, I would say my Bambi found five asshole abusers for every decent human being who just wanted to have some consensual fun playing with Bambi’s powerful triggers.

I had one such “daddy” nearly convince my Bambi to leave my life and my wife and find some anonymous men to take me in, in exchange for living as their sex slave. Yeah. So that’s what we’re dealing with. Not a joke.

These abusers are quick to gaslight and twist logic and paint the picture that they are doing you a favor (“hey, you came to me. I’m just helping you be who you want to be.”) to further convince you to continue being endangered and abused and falling further down the hole.

Yes. I’m a grown adult. I made choices to listen to the files. And yes, I - or my Bambi persona more likely - reached out to a “daddy” to have fun.

Or maybe your Bambi, like mine did, will start dropping messages on social for daddies to come find her and trigger her.

Social media is littered with regretful “old self”s who had to delete their accounts because their Bambis had done just that.

CONSENSUAL PLAY IS SEXY PLAY

The ultimate problem with Bambi is she is designed and trained to be a real dummy who just sits back and waits for orders to follow.

Many of the files are about becoming stupid as a rock and blanking away your old personality and memories and identity and name and replacing it with this new empty shell who just wants to obey and suck cock.

And trust me, I get the appeal of “getting dumb” in trance.

I *soooooooo* get it. The idea of just giving over and submitting to another and letting them take the wheel.

And after connecting with so many peeps here on tumblr, I know I’m not the only one looking to dumb down, turn off my brain, submit, and just follow orders blindly.

Life can be hard and stressful. Blanking out is such a seductive concept.

But here’s the thing:

You can’t have consent with a dumb object that is programmed to blindly accept orders, obey orders, and then forget those new orders were orders at all.

By definition, there cannot be consent with Bambi. There is only abuse.

“BRAINWASHING DOESN’T CHANGE ANYONE AND HEY, *YOU* REACHED OUT TO *ME*”

It’s debatable about the effect brainwashing has on people. I have listened to hypno files for years and never had anything other than short-term effects. No big deal.

But Bambi is something on a different level. It’s pervasive and seductive and is a form of conditioning that erodes your core character.

If you ever have had a friend or relative get addicted to nonsense conspiracy theories, it’s kind of like that. Did they always believe the aliens are controlling the liberal plot to introduce tracking chips by starting a global pandemic? Maybe? But probably, no.

And yeah … maybe I did reach out to you.

Maybe it wasn’t my Bambi and I was in charge.

Did we discuss limits? Did we get a safeword established? Are you there to fucking take care of me as a good dominant should take care of their submissive?

Or did you think it was going to be fun to ruin someone else’s life by twisting them up … just because you had some levers to do so?

BRINGING IT HOME

I reached out to a few folks during my recent difficulties and want to confirm that, yes, by god, thank god, there are some really decent folks out there willing to help a total stranger who got into a nasty jam.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all. And thank you for your articles on safe ethical hypnosis. Keep it up. The subjects and submissives lining up for fun play need to read those articles and need to play safe or not play at all. Bambi is not safe.

If you are reading this thinking, “oh it can’t be that bad, it sounds fun, where can I find these files,” you have not read a single thing I wrote. I’ve talked with dozens of other Bambis and only found one who had avoided the nasty pitfalls (she is amazing and literally unique).

Those are not good odds. Don’t think you are going to beat them.

If you yourself are struggling with Bambi, feel free to hit my DMs or my Asks and I will support you in finding a path out as best as I can.

But in the meantime, the best thing to remember, the best thing to do is for Bambi to accept and obey these instructions:

Bambi is always as smart as she needs to be.

Bambi is always just as smart as she needs to be.

Bambi loves fun and a good time.

Bambi can smell predatory assholes.

Bambi can run from predatory assholes.

And Bambi can come to me for help.

#Bambi sleep #bambi forever #bambi4eva #bambisleep #hypnosis #on topic

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