#which wasnt the point. the point was it started to feel imaginary in my head and i thought telling them would make it less inaginary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imma-new-soul · 4 years

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Say You Love Me (2/2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x dark!readers

A/N: This is a dark fic based loosely on the Netflix original series YOU. It is dark and creepy but I dont want to give to much away. Readers thought are in italics. It was far to long so there will be a second part to this fanfic... enjoy!!

Warnings: dark content, mention of death, blood and violence

Masterlist.

PART ONE

You followed Bucky in his black Ford for a few blocks till his car came to a stop infront of a small apartment building. Parking on the opposite side of the street you watched as he got out of his car and into the building. You figured this was where he lived and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw his figure move around in the first apartment facing the street.

"So this is where you live James, its historic which makes sence, simple not to flashy which seems to be your style not to many stairs which is perfect for when I move in. I wonder if you'll let me get the top shelf in your dresser or are you more of a closet and hangers guy?"

Luckily for you he kept his window open allowing you to see everything that went on Inside. He pulled his jacket off underneath was a black short sleeve shirt that exposed his arms. You stared at his metal left arm in fascination. You wondered if he could feel with it and how it felt if you ran your fingers across it.

After spending hours parked infront of his house you came to a realization that even though he was a super soilder that killed hundreds of people he was just like the rest of us. He kicked off his shoes, sat on his couch watching documentaries and even cooked himself a simple dinner. As he undressed and headed to his bedroom you also realized another thing. That he was alone. Lonely and probably still confused about the modern world he was forced into. He needs someone who could comfort him, someone he could talk to, someone he could love, he needs YOU.

You stood watching Bucky in his apartment all night, so tempted to let yourself in and confess your undying love to him but you knew that wasnt the way to go about things. You were smart you planned to learn his schedule, accidentally bump into him, and make him fall in love with you. You just had to be patient

6:30 am - Gets up , brushes his teeth

6:45 am - Morning run

8:00 am - Back home for a shower and breakfast

8:30 am to 2:30 pm - Buisness in the Avengers tower

3:00 pm - Lunch with Sam

5:00 pm - Back home

Everyday was the same routine like clockwork he never missed a beat. You figured the best time to execute your plan was in the morning during his morning runs. This morning you parked at the end of the street, dressed in your running clothes. At 6:45 am Bucky began running in your direction, you set off infront of him keeping your distance for a half a mile. Pretending to twist your ankle you fell to the ground wailing in pain. Bucky runs up to you being the gentleman he is to check if you were ok. After making sure you weren't to badly hurt he told you his name was James but everyone calls him Bucky and proceeded to asked you for yours in which you told him.

"James or as you prefer.. Bucky This is how we met, you dont know it yet but I'm going to be the greatest love you'll ever know. I'll tell our kids about this moment, How you were so gentle with me coming to my rescue, my knight in shinning armor, how you felt this spark between us after only just meeting for a moment"

Bucky lifted you up from the floor bridal style putting one hand on your back and one under your legs to sit you down on the nearest bench. He evaluated your ankle reassuring you it wasnt broken but you insisted that you must have sprained it and you could no longer walk. Bucky told you to stay where you were while he ran back to his house to pick up his car and drive you home.

Step one of your plan was already working perfectly and a rush of excitement shot through you. After a quiet 20 minute drive the two of you pulled up to your place and he helped you to the front of the building.

"Do you mind helping me into my apartment, I dont think I could make it on my own" you said pretending to wine at the imaginary pain in your ankle. Bucky agreed and held onto you as you approached the door to your apartment. The warmth of his body pressed on yours felt like ecstasy. The smell of his skin and softness of his voice danced in your ears like a sweet song. You held the key to the hole slowly turning it as he lead you inside.

You locked the door behind you and shoved your keys into your pocket. You offered Bucky to stay and have some coffee, he opposed at first but you insisted again and not wanting to be rude he stayed. Now that he was right were you wanted him to be it was time for part two of your plan.

As you limped to the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee Bucky looked around the livingroom. Watching the hands on your wall clock tick and read the titles of the books that sat on your shelves.

Sitting on the coffee table directly infront of him, your laptop screensaver bounced around the black background till a notification pinged off of the speakers. The screen lite up with photos and folders spared out across the screen. Photo albums of pictures you took of Bucky while you watched him on his day to day. Jogging, walking to the cafe and running regular everyday errands. even his schedule was plastered on the screen.

Shock waves ran through his body, his heart rate sped to a mile a minute and his body fell numb. The air felt twice as thick and panic coursed through him. In one swift move he lunged towards the door not aware of your presents. His hand shook the knob to your apartment door but it didn't budge.

A burning heat rose from the back of head with a splitting pain. Bucky's vision faded to black and his body fell to the floor with a deep hard thud. The graze of a cold breeze chilled his body waking him from his sleep. Blinking slowly trying to adjust his eyes from the harsh light that shined above him he was only able to hear a slow drip of water that fell from the ceiling and hit the floor in a perfect rythem.

When Bucky regained all of his sences he was sitting in a large steel chair, his arms bound with tightly wrapped ropes that entwined with the ones restaining his legs. Beside him stood a small table that held two metal prons and wires that lead to the outlet on the corner. In front of him a dark figure walked slowly towards him.

You stood infront of him with a calm demeanor although your nerves were a wreck. You were furious, furious that your plans were unraveling, furious of how careless you've been. With a shaking uneasy voice you spoke breaking the silence in the room.

"Why why .. did you have to do this?.. you ruined everything."

"What's going on, where am I, let me out of this? Bucky shouted frantically over and over again.

A stream of blood rolled down his neck wetting his shirt. All you could do is shake you head tears now rolling from your eyes.

" say you love you me" You demanded in a harsh voice. But Bucky just stood silent.

"SAY YOU LOVE ME" you shouted one more time

"What no I dont even know you" Bucky hissed back starting to feel dizzy from all the blood he was losting.

Your anger boiling over at this point, you reached over to the table and pressed each side of the device to his temples. They admitted a strong electric pulse causing Buckys body to jerk and convulse violently. This torture went on for hours each charge higher then the one before till his memory was completely wiped clean.

You planted the idea in Buckys head that you loved him and he loved you with all of his being and that he would never leave you. And he complained to every single word you said. Your plan was finally complete, it wasnt the way you wanted it to be but it worked. He loved you and that was all that mattered to you.

You untied his arms and legs releasing him from all of his restains and sat on his lap.

"Do you love me?" you whispered in his ear

"Yes...yes..I do.. I love you so much" Bucky said with such passion and conviction.

He was finally yours and you're never going to let him go .

@honeyvbarnes @aar-journey @sebbbystaaan @mushyjellybeans @criminal-cookies @babiiface95 @silentcoyote @this-kitten-is-smitten

#bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #dark fanfic #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfiction #Marvel #marvel fanfic #james buchanan barnes #james barnes

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se-anubis · 4 years

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So today I was taking a nap and I wound up in a lucid enough state to try astral projecting again. This is something Im usually really good at but I am severely out of practice so I was happy that I was lucid enough to attempt.

So I started talking to one of my Imaginary Friends (not even sure which one. Thats weird. In the rare times we dream together its usually super easy to tell who's who), about where we should go. She said we should try another universe, and I said I didnt feel like trying to make my way back from that far away (if I want to wake up fast, it hurts, but if I want to wake up slow, I have to go through different levels of consciousness and that's annoying as shit). So then one of us jokingly says we should try the Duat, but we meant it at the time as a general word for a dimension of dead spirits. I of course immediately said no to that too.

Next thing I know, Im imagining myself rolling off the couch that I'm sleeping on, and then Im not in literal Kansas anymore. I wind up in ACTUAL Kansas. Which is to say Im in a cornfield at dusk, on one corner of a plot divided into fours by a pale dirt road, and there's a black body hanging on a cross above me. Not sure if it was a scarecrow or something else.

I sensed something near me, so I immediately checked to make sure I was presenting my astral form and not my actual physical or soul form. And that's when I turned around and saw the Baron, or at least a spirit pretending to be him.

In before the hysterical comments: I want to point out that I am NOT trying to claim any tie to the Baron or voodoo in general that I do not already have. I wound up where I did by accident, I wasnt looking for the Baron, and Im only like 60-70% sure it was actually him, Im seriously entertaining the thought that it was just another lying spirit.

So there I am, face to face (sort of...) with the Baron. I dont remember the exact dialogue we exchanged but I remember at one point he asked my name. I then immediately felt him in my head trying to find my name. But I've prepared for this and blocked my thoughts so he couldnt get one of my human names, then remembered fae rules (good rules to practice in general even if you arent dealing with fae). I told him, "You may not have my name. But you may call me *Magic Name.*"

So he laughs and goes, "You were trained well." And we shake hands. Then he asks me in a tone that carries a small bit of annoyance, what I'm doing halfway to Hell (again, I dont think he meant literal Hell and that was just my mind's way of translating "dimension of the dead" but I could be wrong).

I told him that I wound up there by accident. He said that people usually pay a toll for using his roads. At the time (and still now) I wasnt sure how true that was. I made it clear that I wouldnt pay for going somewhere by accident but would still be more than happy to consecrate, using my traditional methods, the next meal I ate to him. He said that would be good enough, and I left.

So now I'm off to go heat up a small plate of last night's dinner because I do NOT want to forget and wind up in debt to this dude whether he is the Baron or not.

I think I had a point I wanted to make after telling this story but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was. Still, this is a little weird experience even if it wasnt the weirdest one I've ever had (most of those go into a little book that I don't let people see, this is a pretty low ranked astral/dream encounter for me)

#afro witch #voodoo #afro pagan #baron samedi

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angstkawa-blog · 5 years

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Every Day, I love You

Every Day, I Love You

Adaptation of Every Day by David Levithan

“And nothing else is right

You're laced inside my mind

I'm holding on, I know it's wrong

But I can't see your soul”

-In my Head by Peter Manos

7:00 AM

Waking up always felt the same, except it’s not entirely like that. I sat up and the first thing I did was to take a look in the mirror to see who I was today. A girl, maybe around nineteen, a redhead, tons of freckles, turquoise eyes, an athletic figure, pretty.

“Allie! You’re taking the bus today, your dad and I will be going to work a bit early today. There’s dinner ready in the fridge, we won’t be home until late eleven, love you sweets!”

I heard the door closing and an engine going off before all went silent.

Taking the girl’s wallet, I took out an ID and read it.

Guess I’m Alison Paige today.

My eyes scanned the crowd for a face that I wanted to see. There were too many students and I wasn’t even sure where to start looking.

“Al!”

I turned around to see his smile. The dimples that poked his rosy cheeks, his chocolate waves that were ever so unruly, how his green eyes sparkled as they bathed underneath the sunlight. He looked at me with so much happiness that I forgot what sadness is.

“C-Charlie.”

“C’mon, don’t want Mills after our tails again for being late.”

I followed him, still in a daze. I knew he was here but I never thought he would be this close. I didn’t even have to go looking for him; he came to me. Like an eager puppy, I became his tail and followed him to wherever this Mills was.

“Took you long enough.”

A girl with messily chopped up hair approached us and threw an arm around me. Her eyes were the darkest shade of browns, it could be mistaken for black even. She gave me a smirk before pinching my cheek.

“Sorry Mills, just caught this girl here looking lost.” Charlie said, going over to Mills’ side.

So this is Mills. The girl Charlie’s been so into ever since day one.

“Lost? You’ve been coming here since you were like, kinder.” Mills said, snorting “You sure you weren’t hooked up on something last night?”

“W-What? Uhm, no?”

She laughed and ruffled my hair, I frowned. I didn’t like it that she was treating me like a little kid.

“Alright cutie.”

A guy came to us and I saw him wrap his arm around Mills’ waist, my eyes glanced over at Charlie who still had that goofy smile on his lips but it was clear in his eyes that he was uneasy.

I glanced at my imaginary wristwatch before I gently took Charlie’s hand and tugged him “Well, uhm, we’ll be going to our first period now. We’ll see you guys later.”

“See ya cuties!”

I didn’t know where I was headed, didn’t do my research. All I knew was that I didn’t like the look in Charlie’s eyes.

“Where are we going, sweetheart?”

I stopped in my tracks, his deep voice sending chills down my spine “Uhm, to first period?”

“We passed by Trillie’s room minutes ago.”

“Oh.” I say, not knowing who this Trillie is nor where her room was nor did I know what our first period even is.

“You’re just trying to get me away from Bryan, aren’t you?”

A weak laugh left my lips “No…?”

“Al, you’re like a sheet of plastic cover, I can see right through you.”

I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged. He chuckled and shook his head as he pulled me out into the fields.

I bet Alison’s mom and dad weren’t going to like it if they heard their daughter skipped classes.

“What are we doing here?” I asked as I watched him sit down underneath the shade of an old Oak tree.

“Aren’t you going to save this poor lad from a bitter heartache?”

I snorted before I sat down beside him, crossing my legs and leaning back against the trunk of the tree.

“It’s funny though.” He said.

“What is?”

“You weren’t this caring before, it’s like someone possessed you.”

I chuckle nervously, shaking my head “Guess I was an idiot.”

“Duh.”

I turned my head to look at him. He had his eyes closed and he looked, tired.

Why is this Alison so dense?

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and I was greeted with his emerald eyes, their mirth gone.

“You look tired, why? You look better happy.”

He blinked, his mouth opening to speak before he closed it again. And suddenly, I felt something warm against my lips. For the briefest moment that our lips touched, I felt envy. I envied that I’d never get to be Alison again.

“I am tired, Al, thanks for pointing that out.”

“I’m not Al.” I whispered before I leaned in to kiss him again.

I felt his hand reaching up to hold my cheek, feeling his fingers caressing my skin. He held me close and I felt his heart beating, I could taste how bittersweet this is. I heard my own heart beating against my ribcage, echoing.

We pulled back and I stared up at his eyes, they looked back at mine with so much care and adoration.

I wish I could be Alison every day.

“I’m drunk.” I mumbled to him.

“No, you’re not.”

“Sue me.”

He chuckled and he held me close to him, resting his chin on my head “Let’s go to class.”

---

7:00 AM

A sharp pain shot up my spine as I tried to move. Wincing, I looked around and saw I was in a mess of a room. My head was pounding and I felt the urge to vomit. Rushing towards the bathroom, barely even making it, I threw up on the sink. I raised my head up and saw the familiar face of Mills looking back at me.

The ride to school was a blur, literally.

What was she doing last night? I internally screamed, feeling the urge to vomit again.

“Baby.”

Oh no, no, not him.

“Bryan.”

“You okay? You look pale.” He chuckled and leaned closer “Was it because of last night?”

I shook my head and pushed him away, feeling sick. I wanted to go back to being Ali, I hated this body. I hated every inch of it.

“Hey, Mills.” Bryan grabbed my wrist and pulled me back “Where are you going?”

“T-To class?”

“To class? What? Are you kidding me? Dang, was it that strong enough to make you like this?” he looked at me quizzically, his brows furrowed together “Come on, let’s go.”

He started pulling me the opposite direction of the hallways, towards his car and my eyes widened.

“U-Uhm, I’m busy today, Bryan. I can’t come with you.”

His grip only tightened, as if he didn’t hear me. I looked around frantically and saw Charlie.

Our eyes met and he frowned, I mouthed “Help.”

Without hesitation, he jogged over and was in front of Bryan in an instant.

“Woah dude, what are you doing hauling off your girl in the broad daylight?”

I broke free from Bryan’s grip and backed away, Charlie coming to my side in an instant. Bryan eyed the both of us before someone called his attention. He stared for what felt like an eternity before turning back on us and going over to the guy who called him.

“You look terrible.” Charlie said.

“Yeah, I know, thanks. You look great yourself too.”

“Alison.”

“…Alison? What happened?”

He shrugged, his eyes going over to glance at a familiar redhead who was laughing with a group of girls.

She probably doesn’t remember what happened yesterday.

“I’m sorry…?” I said uncertainly, which caused him to look at me with a frown.

“You’re awfully out of character today Mills.”

“Am I?”

He shrugged again and headed off, I followed him, unsure of what to do. We ended up underneath the same Oak tree we went to yesterday. I bit my lip, watching him as he sat down.

“What do you want, Mills?”

“W-What?”

“Every time you and your dude fight, you always come to me. Why?”

I stood there, speechless. I wanted to say that I was the Alison who kissed you, that I was the Yvonne who wiped away your tears that one February night, that I was the Mica who swapped your spiked drink with my own, that I was the Adam who helped you get close to Mills, that I was the Tyler who listened to you rant about your family, that I was the Zia who ended our relationship because I wasn’t committed enough to us and didn’t want you stuck because the Zia who wasn’t me was too selfish, that I was the Xin who told you that you were cute.

That I was a different person every time and I would always go to you, I would always go to you because I loved you the moment I saw you smile and heard you laugh. I would always go to you because you were my paradise and my only hold on sanity because I don’t have anything else but you to keep me going.

“Mills?”

“I-I have to go.”

He rolled his eyes and he shook his head “Fine.”

“I’m not good for you, you shouldn’t be close to me anymore. Stay with Alison.”

“She’s as worse as you.”

I winced, that stung a lot. If only you knew, Charlie, if only you knew.

“I’m sorry.”

I turned around and headed out. It was too suffocating, too suffocating.

I felt like I wasn’t getting enough oxygen, felt too dizzy, felt too overwhelmed.

What am I doing?

“I’m so sorry.”

---

7:00 AM

I sat up, groaning. Stretching, I felt something warm beside me, frowning I shone the light of my phone and my mouth fell as I saw Charlie.

“Charlie?!”

I pushed him away from me, we were fully clothed, thankfully but who was I? What happened?

“Claire, what-?” I heard him groan from the floor where he fell “It’s still too early, come on, let me sleep.”

What’s going on?

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, he looked even more dreadful than he did yesterday.

“Charlie? What’s wrong?”

Looking at me, he chuckled “So now you care?”

I blinked, unsure of what to do. I want to tell him badly, I could see he was getting way too confused and affected by everything that’s happening.

“Charlie.”

“What?”

I love you.

“I’m sorry.”

I love you.

“For what?”

I love you.

“For everything.”

I love you, I’m sorry.

“What are you even talking about?” he asked, frowning as he sat on the bed. I felt the tears falling, I felt my hands shaking. I hate this, I hate myself, this is disgusting.

“H-Hey, Claire, I’m sorry…” he said softly, I still heard the confusion in his voice but that didn’t stop him from pulling me in for a hug.

“It’s always you…” I whisper, closing my eyes as I took in a shaky breath “I’m always finding myself coming back to you.”

He was quiet as I started talking, may as well call me a psycho for telling him who I was before and what I did to him. Would he believe me, I’m not sure, but I don’t want to ruin him.

I finished talking and he was quiet, his hold on me loosened, I couldn’t see his face. I didn’t know what he was thinking, I didn’t know what expression he has on, I didn’t know if I was way too much of an idiot to have let my emotions get the best of me.

And suddenly, he let me go, stood up and walked out of the door.

---

7:00 AM

I woke up, feeling my eyes sting. I didn’t know who I was today. I didn’t want to look. I laid there, staring at the dark. Why is this happening to me? I was so tired of living like this.

Avoiding any mirrors, I knew I was going to be someone from Charlie’s life. This much I knew. Every person I had been, they were all connected to Charlie one way or another.

I was never going to be able to avoid him.

I arrived at school early. There wasn’t much people around yet. Unconsciously, my feet took me towards the same Oak tree in the fields. I sat down and leaned back, closing my eyes and sighing.

Who knows how long time passed until someone tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see two green eyes looking at me, eyes that were full of concern, full of tiredness.

“Uhm, by any chance, were you Claire, Mills, Alison and a lot more in the past?”

I blinked, staring at him.

“Right, sorry, I’ll just-“

“Charlie.”

He looked at me, his eyes suddenly filled with, dare I say, hope.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

Emotions ran through his face but I was able to catch every single one of it. Relief, confusion, sadness, and a little bit of anger.

“It’s you.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name?”

I proceeded to take out my wallet to check an ID but I felt his hand stopping mine. I looked up and he shook his head.

“Your name.”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you…a girl or a guy?”

“I don’t know. Would it be weird if I was a guy?”

He chuckled, “I don’t know.”

I shrugged “I don’t know anything about me besides who I am today.”

“So…every day you…change into someone else?”

“Yeah, I noticed they’re all someone who’s connected to you. Who is this girl I’m in today?”

“She’s Eva, Secretary of the school council, someone I only talk to whenever school stuff is involved.”

“I see.”

“Avery.”

I looked at him, frowning in confusion “Avery?”

“Your name, Avery. I’ll call you Avery. You change every day and yeah, you get it.”

A laugh left my lips “It’s weird, I don’t ever remember being given a name.”

“Well, you’re my Avery now.”

---

7:00 AM

I wake up and felt a smile on my face. Avery. Avery.

My name is Avery.

The days pass and Charlie only meant more and more for me. He was everything. He was my ground, he kept me steady, unwavering.

But I know this can’t last.

“Charlie?”

“Hmm?”

“This girl’s family is very loving.”

“Mhhmm.”

“She’s really cute too.”

“Hmmm.”

“Her name is Avery as well.”

He looked at me, eyes showing confusion. I gave him a pained smile as I held his cheek, caressing it.

“Charlie…”

“I don’t like that tone Ave…”

“Charlie, you know we can’t keep on going like this…”

He sat up from lying down on my lap, shaking his head “But I’m fine.”

“I’m not.” I whispered “I love you Charlie but I can’t stand hearing what they say about you just because they’ve seen you going out with different men and women every day. I can’t.”

“Ave…”

“So, listen to me, okay? I’ll make sure that this Avery remembers you. I’ll give her every memory of us. I’ll give her all of my love for you. I’ll let her be your Avery. I don’t know how, but I will make it work. Be with her, okay?”

I felt him pulling me close, felt him burying his head on my shoulder, felt his heavy breaths and trembling hands.

My hands reached up to embrace him and we stayed like that for awhile, quiet, holding each other, trying. Eventually, he pulled back and he cupped my face, leaning in to give me a soft kiss that was terribly, painfully, bittersweet.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you more, Charlie.”

“Stay with me.”

I gave him a nod, and the weakest of all weak smiles.

“I’m here.”

Night crept upon us and I was cocooned in Charlie’s embrace. I felt his fingers stroking my hair, his chin resting on top of my head.

“I won’t go looking for you, Charlie.”

He was silent.

“But please, remember this.” I removed his hold as I turn around to face him. I brushed back his bangs so I could look at him face to face.

“Even if I live a thousand lives, my heart will always be yours, intertwined, never faltering, infinite.” I gave him a smile as I leaned up to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“Because every day, I love you.”

---

??? AM

I open my eyes and sit up.

Everything was bright.

I wasn’t in a room, I don’t know where I was but I felt peace for the first time.

There wasn’t anyone in sight but I heard a voice.

“Do you wish to go back to being Avery?”

Smiling, I shake my head.

“I’m happy now.”

end

#david levithan #everyday #fanfiction

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not-close-to-straight · 6 years

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I See You (SWS #28)(Ghost!Peter)

This has a PART TWO!

SUNDAYS WITH SPIDEYPOOL MASTERLIST

*******************

The therapist had suggested a new apartment, had said that moving on would be easier if he wasn’t surrounded by his old life, by the things that had made up his life with Vanessa before all the...all the everything happened.

She hadn’t been wrong.

It was infinitely easier to sleep at night when he couldn’t roll over and push his face into Vanessa’s old pillow and wish she was there. Easier to force himself out of bed when the new bathroom had a fancy shower head with all sort of...interesting options. Easier to make himself eat when the kitchen wasnt decorated with their mismatched pots and pans and funny sticky notes on the dirty fridge.

Easier to deal with his new fucking face when he had torn down all the mirrors and tossed them away and now only clean white walls stared back at him.

Easier to go a little crazy this way too.

Two months Wade had been in this new place and he felt like maybe he hated it to his soul, but he didn’t know what else to do. Vanessa was gone. His looks and his charm were gone. Francis had been rude enough to die in an actual accident that Wade had had no part in, or had even been there to witness.

He had dedicated so much time to finding Francis and plotting every way he was going to make that fucker pay that now that it was over Wade didn’t know what to do with himself.

At least he had had a mission. A purpose.

Now he was just a regular guy with an astonishing temper and a fantastically fucked up face living in a bland little apartment, trying to see a therapist to work through his (countless) issues, and staring at plain white walls long enough that he thought he really might be losing whatever was left of his sanity.

Especially when he started hearing voices.

Well not voices. One voice. Just the one. Singing or humming, sometimes talking, sometimes crying.

It flitted in and out of his mind ever so often, and the first time Wade had heard it he had whipped around thinking someone was standing in his apartment, because he had heard the song as if someone had sang it in his ear.

The second time it sounded more like it was coming from outside and he had gone to the window fully prepared to yell at some loud ass kids, only to realize there was no one on the street at all.

Maybe it was music from one of the surrounding apartments? Or people walking down the hall? Or maybe it was weird radio interference?

Wade searched desperately for what the voice could be, until he finally had to admit that maybe the voice was him. Maybe another side affect of this shitty new life was a psychological break, and now he really was crazy.

And he sat in his new apartment staring at the white walls and thought, “Yeah alright. I could go crazy. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen.”

**********************

Wade made his peace with his fracturing mind. The music wasnt half bad. The voice in his head was even a little soothing. It was like having someone else there in the apartment with him, and that wasn’t...terrible.

(his therapist would disagree, but he stopped seeing her weeks ago)

One day he even thought to say something back to the voice. Maybe if he said something aloud, his other personality would answer and hey, that would be like having a friend, wouldn’t it?

So he sat and waited. Stared at nothing until his eyes started to blur and then just on the edges of his consciousness--

“Say Becky, was you ever engaged?”

Wade blinked. “Um, once. And my name isn’t Becky.”

Silence in the room then, and Wade was struck by the oddest sensation of someone watching him, but he didn’t turn from the wall. “Were you ever engaged?” he asked tentatively, feeling entirely ridiculous for expecting an answer, but then--

“Are you talking to me?”

“Who else would I be talking to?” he snorted. “Just me and you in here, isnt there? Unless there’s another voice or two hidden in my head?”

“In your head.” The voice was cleared now, not quite as whispery. “Is that what you think?”

“Um--” Wade blinked at the wall again, his senses going into overdrive when he got the impression of being approached, like someone was walking towards him.

“Can you see me?” the voice asked. “Or just hear me?”

“No, I cant see you.” Wade said in irritation, and then he was screeching at the top of his lungs, scrambling backwards over the couch and landing on the floor in an ungraceful heap, snatching his gun and sending several rounds right into the boy standing in front of him.

Or rather, sending several rounds through the boy standing in front of him.

“Oh my god, you can see me!” the boy--teenager--college kid? said in excitement, and Wade started screeching again when he walked through the couch and knelt in front of him. “Stop screaming. Stop--stop screaming.” he was smiling, his hands reached out like he was going to touch Wade, and well, Wade was not about to have that, so he sent another round point blank into the kids face and---

---nothing.

“That’s irritating.” the ghost/spirit/thing huffed. “Stop that.”

“What in the fuck?” Wade blurted. “What the fuck. What in the ever loving actual fuck is going on? What the fu--”

“Yes, you said that already.” the other one said mildly. “I dont understand why you can see me. A hundred years Ive been stuck here and no one has ever seen me and now you can see me and I dont understand--” he was staring at Wade like he was fascinated, words tumbling from his mouth almost faster than Wade could keep up, but that could have been because Wade was pretty sure he had gone completely insane this time and his mind had screeched to a complete stop before completely shattering.

“Oh. You’re not crazy.” the ghost shook his head. “I’m really here. Well not here. Im sort of in between worlds. Which makes me wonder if you are--” without stopping to ask permission, and before Wade could think to run the fuck away, the ghost stuck his hands directly into Wade’s chest and first it was blinding cold and then raging heat and the last thing Wade remembered before passing out was the boys eyes widening in surprise, and the entirely unsettling thought that the ghost had the prettiest smile he had ever seen.

*********************

Wade was still on the floor when he came to, and he shook his head to clear it of the ridiculous dream, retrieved his gun and flinched at the bullet holes in his previously perfect wall and stood to stumble to the bathroom to take a shower and wipe away the soreness from being on the floor all night.

Well that was the plan, anyway, until he looked over at the couch and saw that fucking kid sitting there calmly, hands clasped in his lap, an eager smile on his face.

“Nope.” Wade shook his head. “Nopety nope. Fuck no. You aren’t there. I’m not seeing things. Hearing voices is one thing. Hallucinations is another. I’m not even high. Its not fair to see things if I’m not even high.” he took a deep breath. “When I come back from my shower? You better be ghosted the fuck out of here, you understand?”

He slammed the door to the bathroom and turned the water as hot as it could go, turned to reach for a towel--

--and screamed all over again when the kid appeared in front of him.

“Good Christ.” Wade put a hand over his heart. “What are you doing?”

“You don’t understand.” the other one grinned all over again. “You can see me. This is incredible.”

“Is it?” Wade deadpanned. “Because I’m starting to feel like checking myself into a mental asylum.”

“No, its incredible!” the ghost enthused. “You’re incredible. Your soul hovers in the same plane I do, and that’s why you can see me.”

“Alright.” Wade took a deep breath. “I’ve snapped. Its fine. Due to happen, right? I’m going to take my shower, call my therapist and--”

“My names Peter!” the ghost blurted. “Peter. What’s your name?”

“Wade.” he answered, because why not? Why wouldn’t he talk to the hallucination/ghost/imaginary friend.

“Wade.” The ghost-- Peter-- kept smiling and Wade blinked at the happiness in it. “This is wonderful. Thank you. Thank you for seeing me.”

“Um. You’re welcome?”

Peter reached out then, and for all of two seconds Wade could feel his hand, solid and warm, on his scarred skin before it cooled and slid through.

Oh yeah. Yeah, Im batshit crazy.

**************************

He wasn’t crazy, or at least that’s what Peter kept assuring him.

“I’m real.” Peter said for what must have been the thousandth time as Wade eyeballed him suspiciously over his cereal. “Well, sort of real. A ghost. You really see me, you’re not going crazy.”

“Im real.” Peter said again, days later when Wade came out of his bedroom and literally walked through him. “It was rude of you to walk through me, but Im really here.”

Wade was too icked out by the thought of walking through someone, and the lingering chill in his bones to answer.

“Im here.” Peter sighed impatiently, when it had been two weeks and Wade narrowed his eyes and threw a book at Peter, watching in fascination as it slowed to pass through Peters skin and then hit the wall with a thump. “Stop throwing things at me, please!”

“Explain.” Wade finally said one day, plopping on to the couch and then jumping awkwardly up and moving to another chair when Peter sat on the couch next to him. “Explain this.”

“I died a long time ago.” Peter explained. “Here before this building was born and my soul is tied to the land. No one can see me, or hear me and I’ve been wandering around this building for decades.”

“Not this apartment specifically?” Wade asked carefully, his therapists number already dialed in his phone just in case.

“No.” Peter spread his hands vaguely. “You trapped me here. I was wandering through and you took down all the mirrors and now I cant leave.”

“My bad.” Wade muttered, and Peter only grinned at him. “So thats why I can see you? Because you’re trapped?”

“No, you can see me--” Peter leaned forward, brown eyes sparkling and a flush in his cheeks which was... odd...because Wade had always assumed ghosts were see through, not that they looked like cute guys from the 1800s.

“You can see me because of your--” Peter motioned to his face then pointed to Wade. “Whatever this is, keeps your soul somewhere between life and death, like mine. When I touched you that first day--”

“When you violated my chest with your creepy hands?” Wade interrupted.

“Yes.” again, with the little blush and Wade was annoyed by how much he liked it. “When I touched you, I felt your soul. Whatever happened to you keeps you from dying right?”

“Right...” Wade hedged.

“But you aren’t really.... alive?” Peter raised an eyebrow. “Right? I mean, being alive is basically the ability to die right? And you don’t have that ability. Our souls are on the same sort of plane, and I’m trapped in your apartment, so you can see me and talk with me and oh my god--” he laughed, clear and sweet. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and now you’re here and I can actually talk to you! Its incredible!”

“Right.” Wade said again. “Incredible.”

“This is weird for you?” Peter asked, looking upset. “You... you don’t want me here?”

“Actually.” Wade ran his hand over his scalp, scratching idly and then flinching at the pain. “I’m weirded out because you’re awfully pretty for a ghost. I thought you would be blue and see through and blurry. Not looking like someone Id pick up from a bar.”

“Oh!” Peters eyes lit (fuck Wade hated how much he liked it). “You’re awfully pretty too.”

“You’re full of shit, baby boy.” Wade said calmly and got up from the chair. “Do you want me to put up a mirror so you can leave?”

“Um. No?” Peter looked terribly unsure all the sudden. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Talking with a ghost is better than thinking Im going crazy.” Was all Wade said. “Goodnight.”

*********************

It was a weird life, sharing an apartment with a ghost, but Wade had adapted to a lot of weird shit in the last few years so really it wasnt an issue.

Peter didnt eat of course, but he sat with Wade during every meal and made polite conversation. After Wade had shouted at him a few times, Peter had stopped just appearing in the bathroom, explaining sheepishly that he forgot to observe walls and doors when he could just walk through them.

The bedroom was another issue, since Peter didn’t need to sleep he simply stood and watched and that was creepy even for Wade, so after another heated discussion, Peter had stopped doing that too.

They settled into something of a pattern and it was a little domestic and sort of sweet how happy Peter was anytime Wade came home and it certainly didnt hurt that the kid was gorgeous, right? All long limbs and big eyes and a ridiculous smile and an annoying (adorable and fairly sexy) way of biting at his bottom lip when he got excited.

“I ran off to join the circus when I was eighteen.” Peter explained one day and Wade said a silent prayer of thank the fucking lord that he had died at over eighteen-- and wow wasnt that a screwed up thought to have?

“What did you do in the circus?” he asked, only to keep his mind away from that sort of thought about the ghost.

“I was a trapeze artist.” Peter grinned. “Something amazing about flying like that. Flipping through the air and only having those strings to hold you up. We didn’t have nets and it was such a thrill to be that high up and know that you could die if you weren’t careful.”

“Trapeze artist, huh?” Wade was the worst, because he heard trapeze artist and thought bendy and that was... that had to be messed up right? “So what happened?”

“There wasn’t a net.” Peter explained sheepishly. “And I tried something ridiculous and fell. It wasn’t pretty.”

“Uh, yeah. I bet not.”

Another day, Wade was pacing in the apartment, rubbing at his head, irritated because his skin hurt and he had had nightmares the night before and hadnt slept and god he was cranky and finally collapsed face down on the couch to scream into a pillow--

--And cool hands landed on his back, touching just barely over his skin and numbing the sting and Wade took a shaky breath and asked, “Does it feel gross to you?”

“All I can feel is your warmth.” Peter explained, working his hands lower and smiling over the groan of relief Wade gave him. “Im always cold, and you’re so warm, I love it.”

“Oh.”

Cool hands smoothing over his butt and working down his legs and Wades eyes flew open in alarm when he started...responding... because it was weird enough that there was a ghost giving him a back rub but it was even weirder that he was apparently popping a boner over it but hey, the ghost was a hottie and it had been a long time since Wade had even thought to--

“Roll over for me.” Peter suggested, and then he laughed. “Or I could just get under you I guess. Could just phase through the couch and--”

“Nope!” Wade blurted. “Dont!”

“Do my hands feel bad?” Peter frowned. “I know you can only feel them for a few seconds before they give way, but--”

“Nope. Everything feels good.” he said through gritted teeth. “Really really good. Thank you. Move away please.”

“Oh. Alright.”

That night was the first night Wade shoved his pajama pants down and took himself in hand, fully prepared to jerk off to the image of big brown eyes and slim hands and those stupid long legs and the way Peters lips parted when he smiled--

---but then he felt gross over it and pulled his pants back up, throwing an arm over his eyes and willing his arousal to lessen.

This was weird even by his standards.

********************

It started getting more difficult for Wade to leave the apartment, knowing Peter couldn’t go with him, and the money from his mercenary days was more than enough to pay for the apartment and food so Wade ended up spending every day just... home. Watching TV, or reading, or learning how to cook more and more complex meals, with Peter reading from the recipe books and telling him stories from his life before.

Eventually, Wade started walking around the apartment with less clothes on, content with Peters constant reassurance that he didn’t care about his skin.

“Really, I see your soul.” Peter explained one day. “I mean, yeah, I see you physically, but because our souls are on the same plane, that is more obvious to me.”

“Besides.” his voice softened then. “You’re gorgeous, so even if I couldn’t see your soul I would stare.”

“You’re full of shit, baby boy.” Wade rolled his eyes, but couldn’t deny that it made him feel good and when Peter reached for his hand, Wade lay his palm out so Peter could bring their fingertips together, phasing in and out of being corporeal, the cool touch coming and going every few seconds.

And when Peter finally did ask about the scars, Wade told him all about the cancer and Vanessa and Francis and his revenge, and fully expected Peter to do that adorable nose wrinkle he did when he was disgusted, but instead Peter just smiled sadly and said how sad he was that Wade had had such a hard go of it.

“Maybe I’m happy, though.” he said cautiously. “Because if it hadn’t happened, then you wouldn’t be able to see me and Id still be here, and lonely.”

They held hands again after that and when Wade went to bed, Peter stood on his toes (frankly, adorable, because it was such a human thing to do) and tried to kiss Wade, his lips solid for only a second before they dissipated.

It was odd, but it was wonderful and Wade realized one day that he had gone and fucking fallen in love, and if there was ever a time to call his therapist, that would have been it. But instead he put in Patrick Swayze’s Ghost and justified that if Demi could be in love with a ghost, then so could he.

And then at some point, Peter started sleeping in bed next to him.

Or not so much sleeping as he was lying there with his eyes closed, with one hand resting on Wade’s chest because he knew Wade slept better with someone else there.

They never talked about it, never brought it up, just let it happen because it made them both happy.

They also never talked about the day Wade had finally given in and gotten himself off in the shower thinking about Peter, wishing he was solid and real and then Wade could really hold him like he wanted to. Hold him and kiss him and press him into the bed and---

And when he was done, he had walked out the door to see Peter staring at him and biting his lip, cheeks flushing red, and his hands trembling a little when he reached out to touch Wade’s cheek. His fingers had seemed solid for longer that time, brushing over Wade’s rough skin sweetly, before fading again.

It came up eventually that Peter had been reciting The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, that first day that Wade had heard him. He had read the book so many times, he had it memorized and it was the only thing that kept him from feeling lonely.

Wade ordered a Kindle that same day and uploaded as many books as he could onto it and gave it to Peter as a present, confident that he could be solid enough for the split second it could take to turn pages on the e-reader.

Peter didnt speak for a solid week after that, his nose almost pressed to the screen, lips moving as he devoured the books.

Wade woke up one morning to Peter started sleeping on his side with what was probably the cutest ass Wade had ever seen (or not seen, since it was ghostly and all that) budged up into Wade’s hips, his Kindle on the bed next to him, a sleepy smile on his lips.

“Pete?” Wade asked quietly, and the boy opened his eyes and leaned up to press a kiss to Wade’s lips, just barely there before it was gone, and then cool hands down his sides before Peter snuggled close-- or as close as he could before moving through Wade, anyway.

“So um, men then?” Wade said awkwardly. “Or is it just because I bought you books?”

“Men.” Peter assured him, then shyly smiled and whispered, “But really its just you, Wade.”

***********************

“So almost a hundred years, sweet cheeks?” Wade asked and Peter nodded, drawing his fingers in idle patterns over Wade’s bare chest and down to his stomach. “Why are you stuck here?”

“I don’t know.” Peter admitted. “At first I thought it was some sort of purgatory. The first few decades I wasn’t solid at all. Just wavering there, could see through my own hands-- it was horrifying. Maybe twenty or thirty years ago I started being able to actually talk again, and now I’m physically for a few seconds at a time.” he held up his hands in explanation. “Ten seconds is about my max, but I think being here with you is making it longer.”

“You look tired today.” Wade said in concern. “I’ve never seen you look tired.”

“I feel tired.” Peter complained and leaned his head against Wade’s shoulder, frowning when he phased through almost immediately. “I dont really know whats going on.”

“Maybe your purgatory sentence is almost up.” Wade meant it to be teasing, but Peters eyes widened in fear.

“I don’t want to die, though.” he whispered. “Im terrified of dying, Wade. I just got used to being here. What will happen to me?”

“Oh, baby boy, I didn’t think--” Wade bit his tongue to keep from saying anything stupid. “I don’t really think--”

“I don’t want to die Wade!” Peter was panicking now. “I don’t want to leave you!”

“Shhh, sugar buns. Its alright.” Usually the boy loved Wades names for him, and would blush and smile, but today it only set him off further.

“No! No! I don’t want to! I like being here with you! If I go somewhere else Ill be so alone!” Peter cried. “You will be alone and I dont want that! I dont!”

“Easy. Easy, baby boy. We will figure it out.” Wade reached for Peter, but his hands passed right through him and Peter nearly screamed when he couldnt make himself solid for ever a few seconds.

“Wade!”

****************

Wade didn’t quite know what to do with himself after Peter left. Or disappeared. Or poofed or whatever it was ghosts did.

It was weird-- one day he was there, and then the next day he was a little less there and then one morning Wade woke up and Peter was no where to be found.

He hung a mirror in the hall, just in case Peter managed to find a way back, but it never happened.

There’s wasn’t much to do without Peter to keep him company, so Wade started taking jobs again, traveling further and further from the States as he did, and the money from doing the mercenary thing was even better now that he was basically un-killable, so he took more and more jobs, amping up the danger because it was the only thing to keep him from thinking too much.

Word got around of course, about the loud mouth Merc who didnt seem to die, and he caught the attention of the Avengers-- the too pretty to be real Tony Stark, and the slice of All American beef that was Captain America. Black Widow was fucking terrifying and Hawkeye was at least chill-- he and Wade could crack jokes behind the others back in sign language and that was fun.

Every once in a while around the Avengers Tower Wade caught sight of an intern with thick brown hair and long legs and he always stopped himself from going after the kid.

The intern couldn’t help that he looked like the ghost Wade had fallen in love with twenty years ago.

(That was a weird sentence, even in Wade’s head.)

But then-- then-- Wade met Spiderman and was instantly in love.

The kid was smart mouthed and sassy and fucking bendy and he flew through the air like he was on a damn trapeze and Wade loved it. Spidey teased him and wrestled with him and spent nights eating burritos back to back so they didn’t accidentally see each others face and it was the first time in a long time that Wade felt something close to normal.

“So you gonna bless me with your name, or should I start giving you nicknames?” Wade asked one night as they scarfed down chinese food. “I mean, I did save your life tonight. I think you owe me at least that much.”

“At least my name?” Spidey snorted. “The hell you do.”

“Have it your way, baby boy.” Wade said nonchalantly, and was surprised to realize that saying the nickname still made his chest tighten and his heart hurt a little bit.

He wouldn’t ever be over that ghost, would he?

“Spidey?” he asked, when the kid didn’t say anything.

“Um. You could tell me your name?” The words were a little muffled, as if Spidey had pulled his mask back down.

“Wade.” he said instantly. “You can call me Wade, or sir, or daddy, or whatever--ooph!”

Wade fell over when the solid pressure of Spidey at his back disappeared, and he turned just in time to see the kid web off the roof and out into the dark.

“Rude.” he sighed. “Kids these days.”

******************************

Wade had never moved from his apartment. Partly for the sentiment, partly because he never really quit hoping Peter would come back, partly because he was too fucking lazy to move.

But the building had all but been abandoned now, not the upscale apartments it had been thirty years ago, and Wade had most of the tenth floor to himself, which made it completely unexpected and fairly weird that someone knocked on his door sometime close to three am.

“Who the fuck--?” he groaned and pulled himself out of bed, foregoing his mask because the only people around this time of night were cops or druggies and he had no problem shocking either of them. He had been dreaming about Peter again, and wondered irritably when that lovely habit would stop. It had been almost twenty five years at this point.

Enough was enough. He was tired of feeling heart broken after all this fucking time.

More knocking at his door and Wade dragged on a pair of pants and stomped towards the hallway.

“What the fuck do you want?” he ripped his door open. “Who the hell-- Spidey?” he glanced down the empty hallway then back at the web slinger in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

“Wade?” Spidey asked hesitantly, and the soft voice was so achingly close to Peter that Wade almost shut the door in his face.

“Yeah.” Wade nodded, then motioned to his face. “Surprise. Sorry. What do you want? Usually Id be down for some Spider Booty but, baby boy its been a hell of a night so maybe you should--”

“Wade.” Again, just as soft, and Spidey pulled his mask off right there in the hallway to stare up at him. “I cant believe you still live here.”

Wade blinked down at him, down at Peter--

--and promptly shut the door.

Then he nearly tore it off his hinges opening it again, and asked, “If I try to shoot you, will you bleed?”

“Like a bitch.” Peter nodded and started laughing, even as tears slid down his cheeks. “I cant believe I didnt realize it was you all this time. I mean, I thought it was you, but I never knew your name, and you never took off your mask and then you called me baby boy and--”

He lunged forward like he wanted to kiss him, and Wade put a hand up to stop him. “Explain.” he demanded. “Right now.”

“After I--poofed?” Peter offered. “I um... I was born. My soul was recycled or whatever, and I kept having flashes back to my other life and my time as a ghost and when I met you they started to get worse and then tonight you told me your name and its like all these memories came crashing back and--”

“You are talking really fast.” Wade pointed out, and Peter blushed and bit at his lip.

“Sorry. I just-- I cant believe-- did you know it was me?”

“Do I look like I knew it was you?”

“Its me.” Peter nodded his head and reached for Wade’s hand to bring it to his cheek. “It’s me. I promise. I don’t understand why or how or anything like that, but Im right here. Im really here. You aren’t crazy.”

He hesitated, twisted his mask in his hand anxiously. “Can you-- can you see me?”

“Yeah baby boy.” Wade brought his other hand up to frame Peters face, rubbing his thumbs through the tears. “Yeah, I see you.”

**********************************

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omgbananasnailus · 7 years

Text

You’ll Never Be Alone!! Part 5 -Daryl Dixon x Reader Fanfic-

Just wanted to say sorry it’s taken so long to get this part up, i’ve been away and i’ve not had any chance to get it done. Hope you like it :)

As always links to all previous parts below :)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

"Y/N have you seen Sophia anywhere" Carl asked suddenly appearing beside me.

I smiled, It was lovely seeing him up and about. He'd been bed ridden and healing from his gunshot wound since I'd joined the group but since he'd finished his antibiotics a couple days ago he'd improved immensely and was frequently seen running around the grounds with Sophia.

"Sorry Pal, last time I saw her she was heading inside with her mother, but that was a while ago"

"Okay.......Thank you" he shouted as he turned and took off running towards the house.

I went back to filling my bag up with a few supplies I may need during the night. It wasn't supposed to be my turn on watch but T-Dog had gone on a run yesterday an Rick had asked me to cover for him before they'd left. I didn't mind though, it was oddly calming sitting alone on top of the RV being able to look out across the fields.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pulling my jacket closer around myself, I shivered slightly from the breeze that seemed to always catch the roof of the RV. The gun that was used on watch felt heavy in my lap. I knew the fundamentals of shooting a gun but my aim was appalling. An even though it was incredibly possible that I wouldn't be able to hit someone or something even if they were two feet in front of me, Rick still trusted me to be on watch. I still didn't know whether that made me feel good or incredibly nervous.

I'd actually been trying to pluck up the courage to ask Daryl to help me with a few pointers, but I always seemed to chicken out at the last moment. An it wasn't like I didn't have enough opportunities either. Since our last run together for the antibiotics he'd been more talkative towards me. Not as much as a normal person would but definitely more in Daryl's case.

"You need some company?"

I turned to the voice to find Dale climbing up the side ladder with a small smile.

I nodded in reply, removing my bag from the second fold up chair next to mine. An he plonked himself down resting his rifle across his lap, the barrel of the gun facing outwards.

"how are you liking the group?"

My eyebrows shot up in surprise at his question.

"what I mean, is..........Lori had mentioned that you'd been on your own for a long time.......how are you getting on being around people again" his smile reassuring as he tried to explain himself.

I relaxed a little. "I can't lie, it's strange" I laughed nervously "but......Good strange"

"It must of been very lonely for you"

"I got by" I shrugged turning to look back out across the fields.

"I can't imagine it......I was alone for a short period before I met Andrea and her sister......Nowhere near as long as you though"

"Andrea has a sister?" I questioned glancing over at Dale nervously, I knew that the answer wouldn't be a happy one and it made me think of Jaime.

"Had......She had a sister"

My heart sank for her, I knew first hand what it was like to lose a sister and I wouldn't wish that pain on even my worst enemy.

I didn't question him further on the subject, I didn't feel like getting into a conversation about Jaime. Dale was lovely, but he also liked to talk and I knew it wouldn't be long before he started asking about my life before the group. But thankfully we sat in comfortable silence looking out over the fields instead, which I was grateful for.

The next morning I couldn't wait to get a few hours shut eye. I unzipped my tent and was just about to crawl in.

"Y/N"

I turned to find Shane towering over me.

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you on watch?" He scolded.

"Erm because I finished ten minutes ago" I replied standing up. There was no way I was letting him think that he could talk to me like a child.

"You can't just leave the RV empty when you decide your finished, you have to wait for someone to take over from you.....Or do you just make your own rules up" he growled getting up into my face.

"Excuse me" I spat back "Andrea took over from me when I left" I pointed a finger towards the RV to drawn his attention to Andrea's form stood on the roof.

"So get your facts straight before you come accusing me of things"

He turned back to me, I could see the fury in his eyes.

"Don't talk to me like that bitch!"

My hands balled into fists at my sides. I wasn't as strong as he was but I sure as hell knew a few places to hit that would cause him some pain.

"Shane!" Daryl appeared next to me.

"Fuck off Redneck" he spat not taking his eyes off me. I could tell he was weighing up the repercussions of hitting me.

"What did yer say ter me??" Daryl growled taking a step towards him.

Shane's stare finally broke from mine, he took one look at Daryl before turning and storming off in the direction of Andrea and the RV.

Relaxing my hands I turned to Daryl to find him already staring at me, a questioning look on his face.

"What did yer say to him?"

"What's that supposed to mean??" I asked annoyed, why did he automatically think that it was my fault. "For your information he started accusing me of leaving watch before anyone took over!"

I didn't wait for him to reply, I turned my back on him and dropped down quickly crawling into my tent.

Once I'd zipped up the door, I laid down pulling my blanket high over my head to block out as much sunlight as possible and it wasn't long before I fell asleep, annoyed at Daryl once again.

As soon as id woken I'd gone for a walk. I knew a few people had seen mine and Shanes encounter and I couldnt be bothered explaining what happened. What if they all thought the way Daryl had an thought it was me that had caused the argument.

I found myself in front of the guns that Rick and T-Dog had just brought back from their run. I grabbed one of the small handguns and made my way around back of the farmhouse. There was a group of bushes that hid a small part of one of the fields from view of the farmhouse. Once out of sight I held the gun up. Looking down the barrel at an imaginary walker.

"What yer doin?"

I quickly lowered the gun blushing from the embarrassment at being caught, especially by Daryl.

"Well?"

I spun around to face him, confident that my cheeks had returned to their normal Colour.

"Nothing" I shrugged as nonchalantly as possible.

"Bullshit"

I wasnt in the mood to explain myself an I was still incredibly mad at him. I started to leave but he grabbed hold of my arm as I tried to barge past him.

"Look I'm sorry about earlier" he muttered not meeting my eye. "I wasn't accusing you....."

"Then what were you doing Daryl?" I asked pulling out of his grip and taking a step back.

"I know what Shanes like, he's a dick"

"Yeah, a dick that's taken a disliking to me"

Daryls eyes finally met mine. "He's dangerous Y/N....... Stay out of his way"

I knew he was right. But I still didn't understand what id done to cause him to hate me so much.

"Hes like it with everyone" Daryl answered my unspoken question.

"Daryl could i ask you a favour?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"I don't do favours darlin"

"Oh come on. You don't even know what it is" I smiled.

Daryl just grunted.

"Would......Would you teach me how to use a gun?" Daryl's head snapped up at my request and I could feel my cheeks were displaying my embarrassment plainly for him to see.

"You do realise that this ain't a gun" He said lifting his crossbow slightly.

"So, you don't know how to use a gun, is that what your saying?"

"No that ain't what I'm sayin"

"Well will you show me then" I asked silently hoping. "Please!?!"

"Tomorrow....... Dawn" he muttered before turning and disappearing round the bushes and out of sight.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

I knew Daryl was the best person to teach me. He didn't stand for any shit, an would tell me straight out if I was doing anything wrong. I also knew that if he deemed me capable then I would trust that I was. I just wanted to be able to protect myself and everybody else properly.

The next morning i woke up at first light. I quickly got dressed before heading out to look for Daryl. I didn't need to look very far though as he was leant against the tree beside my tent, crossbow across his back.

"Yer ready?" He asked pushing himself off from the tree.

We'd been walking for a while and I was beginning to wonder where he was actually taking me.

"How far are we going?" I finally asked.

"We need to go far enough that the gunshots don't draw any unwanted attention to the farm"

I hadn't thought of that. In fact I hadn't really thought this through at all.

"Aren't you on watch later though?"

"I spoke to Rick, someone else is covering for me" he replied pushing a branch to the side so we could pass.

"I'm sorry, i didnt realise how big an ask this was" I apologised.

"Yer wanna protect yerself........nothin wrong with that"

"Not just myself......." I stated "i want to be able to help protect everyone" Daryl didn't reply just gave me a look I couldn't read before stopping when we reached a large clearing. It was mostly flat with grass covering the ground, with a handful of large rocks and tree stumps scattered around.

"Here's good" He said shrugging off his crossbow and leaning it against a nearby tree stump.

He straightened up and pulled a handgun from the waist band of his jeans.

"Here" He said extending his hand, offering me the gun.

I took it from him cautiously. Yesterday had been the first time id held a gun, so it still felt unusual in my hand. I secured my grip on it, trying to get accustomed to the weight. It was both terrifying and oddly exciting knowing what I could actually do with this weapon.

The clinging of mental hitting rock got my attention an i looked up to find Daryl lining up the last of five tin cans along a nearby rock.

"They're yer targets" He said coming to stand beside me. "Try and hit one"

"But......." I didn't know if I was ready. An the realisation of the fact that I was gonna be using some of our limited ammo worried me.

"Y/N just try"

I raised the gun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yer aiming too far right again"

My hold on the gun sagged a little.

"God Daryl, give me a break! This is only the second time I've actually held a gun" I shot Daryl a scowl.

"Yea but yer aims still shit darlin"

I turned my gaze back to the tin cans, trying to focus as I lined my gun up again.

"Yer doin it all wrong" he huffed

I tensed slightly as Daryl came and stood behind me. He hesitated for a moment before his arms came around and his hands captured mine holding the gun steady.

He was extremely careful not to have anything but his arms touching me.

I could feel Daryl's breath on my ear, it was incredibly distracting and for a moment i completely forgot what we were actually doing.

I realised Daryl was talking and began to panic, I hadn't heard a word of anything he'd been saying.

"An then you pull the trigger" His finger pressed against mine and before I knew it we'd fired the gun and one of the tin cans tumbled off the rock.

"See" he said coming to stand back at the side of me.

I knew I had to take this seriously and because of that I also knew that I needed to come clean.

"Daryl....I didn't actually hear what you said then" I could feel the blush creeping across my cheeks once more, which was becoming a reacurring theme when around Daryl.

"What?" He asked clearly confused.

"You distracted me" I mumbled not meeting his eyes.

He opened his mouth to speak but I stopped him before he had chance.

"Let's just pretend that didn't happen and spare my embarrassment.....please!"

I could feel his gaze on me but I still couldn't bring myself to look up.

"Fine" I could hear the crinkle of his leather vest as he shrugged.

He began to repeat his instructions but thankfully this time he stayed stood at the side of me, pretending he had an imaginary gun in his hand. I found it incredibly amusing but brushed it aside so that I could take it as seriously as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I squeezed the trigger taking an involuntary step back from the kickback.

"Yer grips still too tight"

Frustration bubbled up inside of me towards both myself and Daryl. We'd been out here a while, only taking a break earlier to have something to eat and a drink of water.

I replanted my feet and squared my shoulders like Daryl had shown me. Aiming at the middle can I squeezed the trigger. This time the kick back only causing my eyes to shut momentarily, which was a improvement. An when i opened them again the can was gone.

"Knew yer could do it" Daryl said with a shrug but I could see the hint of a smile across his lips.

After that something must of clicked because I managed to hit the targets, well most of them. Daryl had also agreed to try me on moving targets when we had chance to.

"How did you know I could shoot?" Daryl asked as we made our way back to the farmhouse. The sun just beginning to set.

"I've seen you use your crossbow......There's no way you cant use a gun with how good you are with that thing" I stated jabbing my thumb in the direction of it slung across his back.

"Guns ain't crossbows"

"I'm not stupid Daryl..... Just take what i said about your skills as a compliment like any normal person would and shut up" I laughed.

"I don't do compliments" He grumbled.

"Ive noticed"

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon walkingdead fanfiction #daryl x reader #walking dead fanfiction #The Walking Dead #walking dead #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you

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cayouno · 7 years

Text

Phan Ghost Smut parts 2&3

Hey guys thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs !! Here are parts 2&3 and 4 will be up tomorrow.

My Turn

Summery: Phil is dared by some classmates to sleep a whole night at the abandon house down the street. The word is that many years ago some one got murder in that house and since then no one has been able to live there. Phil may be superstitious but not to the extent of believing in ghost or so he thought.

Part 1

warning : smut,rape,death

Part 2/4

Phil was a very vivid dreamer and he always looked forward to the weird adventures his brains would take him. Tonight was suppose to be like any other and it started that way. Some weird penguin that could camouflage stole Phil’s apocalyptic cereal stash. In the dream, Phil joined forces with a purple kangaroo that was the sworn enemy of the penguin. At some point, the animals proceeded to have a martial art showdown in a colorful environment with Phil in the background ,who tried to save as much cereal as he could. The second he started to pick up the pieces it all began to fade way. That was odd he thought as he turned around to find himself in a blurry room. The animals where gone along with the colorful background. Replaced from what he could make out in the blurriness a room that contained one wooden bed , one wooden dresser and a black piano.

Each piece of furniture laid against a different wall of the room . Phill knew he had never been here, after all, it was just a dream but it looked somewhat familiar. It took a bit for the blurriness to lift for him to realized that he wasnt alone. Music began to overtake the room , soft piano notes that blended together into a sweet sonata. A young guy sat on the piano his hands ran along the keyboard with such ease. Phil walked over to the piano absorbed by the pleasing music waves that ended abruptly the moment he got to close.The guy looked up to Phil’s general direction.

“um um sorry ” Phil said in a bit of shook as he tried to catch a little bit of the Imaginary blood that came out of his nose. Never in 17 years that he lived in this town had he seen some one so pretty as this dude. Soft brown wavy hair , a fringe the fell right above beautiful almond brown shape eyes and creamy tone skin that was way more apelling than his printer paper .“Your beutifull no I mean the music was beutifull but like its not like your ugly or anything!” Words pour out of Phil’s mouth before he could really processes what he had said. The guy looked towards him but never at his face or upper body. It felt as if he looked trough him not at him. Phil took a breath and thought of ways to save his first impression on this guy.

“My name is Phil. what’s yours?” He asked the guy who turned back to the piano and wrote some notes on a the piece of paper that he left there. Not even once did he show sings that he acknowledge the fact that Phil was in the room. He got up , walked to the bed on the opeset side of the room and sat with another sheet of paper. Shit did he screw up Phil thougth as he walked after the guy of similar height.

“hello?” Phill asked a few feet from the bed. Was the guy ignoring him ? No reponse from the beautiful ear pierced male who looked at a new sheet with the most strain expression. “ Hello! ” Phil said louder wavy his arms up and donw in hopes that would catch the mans attention. Phil keeped at it at some point making schreaking animal noises but none of the actions were effective. Just when Phil was going to touch the guy as his last attempt he looked up. His face was filled with concern. Phil back up imideatly. oh no he had defently screwed up. “ Soryy I” Phil stopped mid sentence when he realized that they couldn’t seem him. Another guy had walked into the room and straight trough phil.

The other male was a few inches taller than them and a full blown ginger with freckles. Immediately the brunet stud up and stared to speak to the ginger who eyes where narrow and fits where clench. Phil stud a few feet behind him but could not even hear one word they said to each other. He watched their mouths move but no sound came out of them. The ginger began to yell or that’s what it seem like as he pointed at the brunet. Phil didn’t understand a few minutes ago he heard the guy play on the piano. He back up from the angry ginger man and walked over to the instrument. Phil tired to play a key on the piano but just like the guys he didn’t hear a thing. At this point phil would have agreed that this indeed was a weird dream but it was not even at its peek . He pressed another key and sound came out. This sound was not a melotic tone that belong to a piano but a moan of some one who was trying to catch their breath. The sound contined to escalate behind him.Phil rotated 180 to find the ginger had pined the guy over the dresser.

The lovely male’s bottom half had been strip bare and his wrist restraint together by the gingers grip. Wet sounds of the ginger’s four fingers that shoved inside the brunet never surfaced but just the sound of breathlessness that the guy exhale unto the dressers mirror with his face pressed agaistn the wooden top did. His soft lips that at some point were able to murmur some words that trigger the ginger even more. He stop his aggressive proving and with the same force pulled on to the brunettes hair. His back curved and the breathless sounds turn in to moans of pain. While his neck became fully exposed the ginger bit into him hard enough to make blood drip onto the guy’s gray t-shirt. This whole time Phil tried to leave or not look but he couldn’t his eyes were glued on to the body of the brunet. He was fully aroused by the perfect shape of his tight ,hips and the way the moved in crave manner of other males fingers. Not to mention his privet member that was fully erect and seeping for more action. Phil knew that his was not much farther a long if he keep watching him.

The ginger dragged the guy on to bed and pinned him again this time under his body. He took no time to spread the brunette and insert himself in him with full force . His head arched back in pain with his mouth gapped open and his hand gripped on the side of the mattress. Phil’s body heat picked up a he just watched the merciless pounding of the lovely male. It Itched so bad how much he wished he was the ginger that topped the brunet. They guy began to yell in pain his eyes watered up as the ginger picked up the speed. The arousing noised he once made turned into curling sounds that could make any one bleed. In an attempted to quite him down the ginger cupped his hands round the brunet's neck and press. Phil felt a fast discomfort around him and in him arise. The air in the room became heavy and the light dimmed quickly . Phil coughed , his lung gasped for air. It was horrifying. The ginger never stopped pounding in and out of the guy as he squirmed under him with despair. A despair that Phil could feel more and more until the snap. Phil drooped on his knees the oxygen was completely gone. The brunette head dropped unto its side with wide open lifeless eyes that looked straight into Phil’s.

part 3/4

warnings: more smut,

Part 3

Phil opened his mouth to what he assume was to produce a scream of terror from that awful nightmare but the sound never came. Instead of ear pitched scream that was well needed a loud moan came out. His body was heated as he once had been. It didn’t make sense. He just had one of the most howling dreams he could ever recall but pleasure surged trough his body asking for more. Phil felt the excitement in his groin grow to which he looked down to expect a tent.

Enchanted filled with life brown almon like eyes stared onto Phil while they bobed up and down. was he still dreaming? is he lucid dreaming? Phil thougth as he saw the same beutilful male blow and lick his member. Where ever he was it was to dark to see anything except for the very sexy naked man in front of him. He tried to push him self up from the floor but his body was just to weak.

“shit”Phil breath out he couldn't do anything. The guy picked the pace once in a while he nibbled and to took quick glances at the powerless phil. Phil was already so pumped from the previous dream that at this moment it wouldn’t take much to push him off edge. Just when he felt he would tip over he stopped . Phil look down to find the brunet climig over to him, his soft skin rubbed against his. It was mess,Phil’s brain, nothing made since but eveything felt so good.

“ Come lets go to my bed”The brunette commaded in a soft whisper like tone into phils ear. The words entered his brain and pushed anything aside but an overwhelming desire to do what he was told. Phil stood up immediately as the guy rapped his arms around Phil’s neck. His fingers mingled in Phil dyed jet black hair. It seem like he had gotten a good hold of phil’s head and pulled him forward for a kiss. Never had Phil felt like so impotent. The guy pulled more and Phil blindly fallowed as they made out. Phil hands made their way around the soft body that seem oddly chill. The guy stopped and smiled at Phil who he pushed down on to a bed. Phil and other male locked eyes. With the small amount of self control Phil had left, he expressed the last though that roomed through his head.

“who are you ?“ Phil asked the guy who not even once blinked and did not waste time to settle himself on top. Phil’s member was still way hard from the earlier interaction and slipped right into him. The guy lean forward to Phil, their face almost touched.

"Does it matter I am not even physically here.“ He moan as he lean all the way back and began to move furiously up and down. The guy placed his hands on Phil’s chest and with his thumb rubbed against Phil’s nipples. Phil grabbed onto his hips making sure that he went all the way into him to the point were their skin touched. The pleasured was immeasurable almost supernatural. If he could, Phil wish to be like this all night filled with unexplainable indulgence. Phil grunted and kept going, snapping his hips and watching his cock go in and out of the male. Just as Phil body begun to reach his physical limit he flip the guy on to the bed and pounded harder than before. Their moans filling the room.

” Do it! you are the best one yet.“ The brunette moaned out loudly as their bodies collided. Phil hands that were once placed on the males hip moved upward towards his neck. Phil couldn’t stop himself as he choked the guy under him. He watched the male’s face filled with joy and pleasure from the act. He was a moaning mess underneath Phil, and he arched his back to meet him in the middle. That was it for phil his body couldn’t hold anymore. Phil moan and rode of his orgasm, thrusting in and out of male before he came to a stop. He dropped over the brunet .

“Shit!, I am sorry ” Phil said in between heavy breaths. He could feel the hard erection of the male under pressed against his skin. All that build up made him finish much quicker. How embarrassing. He tried to sit up in order to finish off the stranger but stopped. Phil shocked quickly ganced at the male who stare back laughing none stop . At first it was a chuckle that turn in a hysterical fit of laughter. The more he laugh the colder it got around them .Phil breath slowed down his mouth dried up and body begun to shake.

He tried to stumble out of the bed but brunet grasp him by the neck and began to crush it with unnatural force. Extrem panic arouse as Phils limbs despretly tried to seperet him for the young man who’s appearance had change. No longer did he have Soft brown wavy hair, beautiful almond brown shape eyes and creamy tone skin. Dark very Dark black pits for eyes and gray skin and his hair dirty with dirt like a courpse that had pop from its grave. He continued to laugh exposing the rotting insides as black bugs crawl out. Phil could only wimper as the lack of air took its toll.

#danisnotonfire #amazingphil #amazing phil #phanfiction #phanfic au #phan #phandom #cayouno #phan au #ghost #phan smut #smut #myturn

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adambstingus · 7 years

Text

My Friend And I Used To Play ‘Army’ In The Woods, But This Incident Changed Our Friendship Forever

I have never told anyone about this but its time to get something off my chest. I need to push the darkness of the one horrifying day of my childhood off of my chest like a bench press or the weight of it is going to eventually slip down and choke me to death.

So here we go.

My favorite thing to do when I was 11-years-old was playing Army at my friend Tobys house. I would count down the hours, minutes, and seconds until Saturday afternoon almost every week until I would hop in my moms Suburban and traverse the windy roads of the foothills of the North Cascades that led up to where Tobys family lived on a small rustic raspberry farm at the end of a gravel road.

I loved playing Army at Tobys house most of all because his familys multiple-acre property was loaded with forts, treehouses, little creeks, and sheds that made it seem like it was some kind of backlot set from an old war movie. On top of that, Tobys dad was a Vietnam vet who had authentic military gear that helped us truly feel like we were battling some kind of foreign threat that had made its way to the moist, mossy forests of Western Washington.

The afternoon started just like every other one where my mom dropped me off to play Army and stay the night at Tobys house we loaded our packs with hard-ass military essentials like Fruit Roll Ups, Gushers, nuclear green Gatorade, and Nerf guns spray-painted black and we stomped out into the woods. Once into the near-darkness of the Washington evergreens, Toby and I would head straight to a place that seemed almost too good to be true for an 11-year-old rural boy an underground fort.

The envy of every boy at Browning Elementary School, Tobys dad built the underground fort based on one he had encountered in the jungles of Vietnam. Tobys dad said he couldnt stay in the thing for more than a few minutes or he would get flashbacks and that was good news for Toby and all of his friends as it allowed for him to stash the Playboys we had all accumulated to be stored there in relative safety.

About 25 yards from the end of Tobys yard and the start of the woods was the rotten stump Tobys dad had hollowed out to turn into the entrance to the fort. You climbed up into the thing, lifted up a heavy wooden door (to keep out coyotes and other animals) and climbed down a ladder into the darkness hole of the fort where a lantern to illuminate the dirt walls of the thing waited.

Just like any other day, Toby and I started in the fort, mapping out our plan of attack on a custom map of the woods around the house that Tobys dad made for us. This day, we planned to attack a tiny little island that rested where two creeks on the property met, but we were going to have to take a special route there due to a very real enemy that hovered in the woods between the island and the fort Colt Gaskin.

A skinny seventh grader with a jet black bowl cut and a mean streak, Colt was Tobys neighbor through the forest and a menacing figure who rode his dirt bike through the woods that served as our imaginary battlefield. People liked to exaggerate about getting beaten up after school every day when really they just got a little bit made fun of (beatings in real life send you to the hospital), but Colt would literally hit us in the face if he saw us and he had gotten Toby really good last week when we got in the way of his dirt bike.

Our plan was to avoid Colts scope of range by taking a path that was just off of Tobys backyard to the island and it worked. We were able to execute our attack on the island without any interference except for a tough counterstrike from our imaginary opponents.

However, our success made us overconfident, as we took our normal path back from the island that cut through Colts hunting grounds.

It was a horrible mistake. The whining rumble of Colts dirt bike coming up from behind us made me freeze in our muddy tracks.

Within seconds, I felt Colts hand slap against the back of my head and knock my camo hat off. I watched him skid in front of us, whip his dirt bike around and rev the obnoxious engine in our faces.

Oh fuck, Toby and I cussed at the same time and Colt skidded to a frantic stop just in front of us with the obnoxious engine of the bike still blaring.

Ah, little fags playing G.I. Joe in the woods, Colt snickered just after shutting off his engine and jumping off his dirt bike.

Toby didnt wait another second, he took off in the direction of the island and I bolted as well, went in the direction of the underground fort.

Im not sure why I decided not to run in the same direction as Toby, but it turned out to be a good selfish choice. I heard Colts dirt bike roar off in the direction Toby had bolted.

I figured Toby would meet back up with me after he escaped whatever ended up happening with Colt at the underground fort anyway and dove down into the darkness of the secure facility with my lungs heaving. I scrambled hard onto the hard dirt floor and took a few moments to collect my breath before I started crawling towards the middle of the fort where we left the lantern.

I started pawing on the ground where it should have been, but couldnt find it. I at first didnt think anything of it, we must have just put it somewhere else before we left, but that sense of normalcy evaporated when I heard a slimy cough come from a somewhere in the pitch black fort.

I froze again. I thought about calling out the name Toby with a question mark at the end of it, but there was no point, I had seen Toby run off in the other direction and the tone of the cough was far too deep to be produced by an 11-year-old.

Maybe, it was Tobys dad? My brain thought for a second before it thought of my next move, the lighter in my pocket. I flashed the thing on and saw the worst sight my eyes had witnessed in my young life

Sitting in one of the corners of the fort was a completely naked middle-aged man covered from head to toe in body hair. My vision was limited in the faint second of a crack of light the lighter gave out, but the guy looked a lot like the wax cavemen I had seen at museums on field trips before and he shot a look at me just before the light gave out and I tore up to the lid of the fort.

I scrambled out into the dying light of the afternoon forest assuming the naked hairy man in the fort was snapping at feet like a shark. I tumbled my way off of the stump that served as the entrance to the fort and took off deeper into the woods at a full sprint without a look back.

The woods were eerily silent as I dashed through the soggy-leafed floor in the heart of dusk that had turned the dimmer switch to nearly dark under the canopy of thick trees. The near darkness combined with the wet air of the Fall Western Washington forest created a bit of a misty fog that crept through the trees and filled my lungs with moisture as I sucked air in my sprint.

My lungs and legs could finally take no more and I slowed to a wobbly stop as a few fat drops of rain fell down from the tall trees and onto the top of my head. I keeled over, gasping for air and put my hands on the knees of my camo pants.

For a second, the adrenaline leaked out of my brain and I started to realize that I ran in the complete wrong direction. I had sprinted deeper into the dark woods, far, far away from the safety of Tobys parents house, closer to Colts familys house and probably actually even past it where I actually had no idea where I was…and the sun was setting.

I took a long look at my surroundings from every direction and in no way recognized any of the endless forest around me. It was just a murky collection of trees, bushes and the call of mysterious birds coming from the trees that were soaking up the last little bits of light of the day.

My first instinct was to cry. I was 11-years-old and I was alone, lost in a darkening forest with the temperature plummeting rapidly. My only comfort was knowing that Tobys parents knew we were playing in the woods and were supposed to be in by nightfall, but I also had no idea how far away from their property I was and if they would be distracted by trying to track down Toby after his own incident with Colt.

I figured my best option was to try and start walking back in the direction from where I had come, but I wasnt sure which direction that was. An 11-year-old with a brain coursing with adrenaline and fear, I lost track of my path and just kind of turned around and started heading that way.

Five minutes into my journey, I got the feeling that I was going the wrong way. I had seen no signs of life or anything that I recognized, so I started heading in another direction while wiping tears from my eyes.

It quickly seemed like it was a good choice once I started hearing the light trickle of a creek coming from off in the distance. I knew that there was a small creek, Crawdad Creek, that ran the very edge of Tobys parents property. I followed the sounds of running water through some tall grass and skunk cabbage until a flash of orange neon caught my eye.

Sticking out of the tall grass just off the shore of the creek was a small tent that jutted out of the grass like the peak of a mountain stick up out of a grassy valley. I crept up to the nylon structure without anxiety, I believed that the little mobile domicile might be housing someone who could help me, but I was wrong.

I could see that the entrance of the tent was open when I walked in and saw no human presence waiting for me there, just a few scattered items on top of a crumpled sleeping bag. Noticing that one of the items was a flashlight, I figured it would be good for me to do a little scavenging as I anticipated nightfall.

At a closer vantage, the items on the sleeping bag were the flashlight, a thawed-out box of Bagel Bites, a long hunting knife with a ringed handle and a stack of Polaroid pictures. After confirming that the flashlight worked, I turned my beam of light to the Polaroids and immediately wished I hadnt.

What I saw were those rare images so vile they immediately make you feel sick to your stomach. The first three Polaroids I scanned for the faintest of moments were of Toby naked, frozen forever in lurid poses that reminded me of the portraits in the Playboys back in the fort and the last two were of Colt in similar positions in the very tent I was standing in.

I felt stinging vomit bubble up to the back of my throat before I threw the pictures back down and shuffled out of the tent with the flashlight stuck to my hand in a tight grip of dark fear. Once outside of the cover of the tent I saw reason to quickly shut the flashlight right back off when I heard a familiar cough cut through the now completely dark forest and caught a glimpse of the naked, pale meat of the man I had seen in the fort.

I dove into the tall grass behind the tent and started to crawl on my belly towards the creek where I eventually settled underneath the safe cover of a rotting dead log lying on its side. Once, comfortable, I peeked up into the night to see the hairy man, wearing a pair of tighty whitey briefs with a bearded face covered with blood, duck down into the tent in the light of the lantern he must have swiped from our fort.

I lay frozen for a handful of minutes until the clumsy sound of snoring came beaming from the tent and I loosened up, ready to make my escape by the banks of the creek. I slowly got myself to my feet and started sneaking down to the creek in the direction I believed led back to Tobys house.

I planned to follow the water all the way back to their property, but encountered a problem when the creek turned into a small pond that I did not recognize.

It apparently was not the Crawdad Creek that I had been following and now I was at some completely unfamiliar murky pond. Somehow though, the chilling discovery that I had been going the wrong way for an hour now was not the most disturbing thing I saw. That sight was Tobys custom painted black Nerf gun, floating in the middle of the pond.

That sight was enough to send me scrambling back into the thick of the dark woods with my little beam of flashlight leading the way, but that was not the right choice and I knew it as soon as I felt the ground fall out from under me. I became weightless and screamed until my little body came to a hard thud.

The wind thoroughly pounded out of me, it took a second to catch my breath and figure out what happened. I now laid on the dirt floor of some kind of trap – broken pieces of wood of the fake forest floor that had pulled me in all around me.

I cried and my chest heaved in exhaustion and terror. The hole I was in looked to be about ten-feet high on each side. There was no way I was going to climb out of the thing and I let out an audible scream when I looked to my side and saw Tobys beloved army pack that he had gotten from his dad wrapped up around one of the thick branches of the trap.

A light rain began to trickle down from the canopy of trees and drop into my already wet eyes. My little body couldnt take much more the cold, the walking for hours, the horror, the hopelessness of the situation I had enough. I sat down in the mud, with my butt stuck into the cold wet ground, tucked my knees up to my face and cried into my army pants.

I sat there sulking and crying for what must have been 30 to 40 minutes before I cracked open my eyes to realize I had a ray of hope Tobys pack. I remembered that Toby always had his army pack loaded up with tactical gear, including a thick rope.

I tore at Tobys pack and found Tobys trusty rope. I started to unspool my salvation when the distant murmuring of voices froze me in my escape. Vaguely familiar adult voices, I heard them come closer muffled by the sound of the rain falling all around me. I perked up my ears to try and decipher the words that sounded like when the adults talked on Charlie Brown and slowly started to recognize who was talking it was Tobys parents.

They must have been looking for me.

Help! Help! Help! I cried out into the night as I saw the beams of their flashlights cut in and out of the air above my hole. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

They probably couldnt hear me over the rain. I went back to my work as fast as I could, throwing the rope over the edge of one of the sides of the hole hoping it would catch on something. It took a few tries, but it eventually did and I used the last reserves of energy and hope I had to pull myself up the dirt walls of the hole while trying to yell as loud as I possibly could.

Lying on my belly in the mud, I finally laid my eyes on signs of life. Off in the near distance, in an opening in the foliage was a roaring fire with the silhouettes of a few adults standing around it. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I staggered towards the people, but my wasted lungs, the rain and the rock music blasting from the camp were all drowning me out.

I was just about to the edge of the camp area when I held up for a second something wasnt right. As I got closer, the sounds had turned from what seemed like normal conversations to weird, unnerving howls and screams. I could see what was clearly Tobys parents, but there was one more person who stopped me in my tracks a few yards outside of the camp the hairy man from the fort, he stood fully-clothed now with his thick beard sticking out of the hood of a sweater, staring at the fire with a beer in his hand.

It took a second, but I eventually realized that it wasnt actually the fire that he was staring at. He was staring at a gagged and bound Toby who was squirming just off to the side of the roaring fire as his parents stumbled around drunk next to him laughing. But his gaze didnt remain on Toby, it shifted over to me, standing slack-jawed in the woods.

I sprinted away as soon as our eyes locked. I started tearing through the wet foliage of the forest with the rain beating upon me and my little feet pounding the ground imagining the hot beams of the scary adults flashlights upon my back. I ran and ran and ran until I could run no more again.

Finally out of breath, I stopped in a grassy patch of land and realized that I was actually in a large backyard of muddy grass that cut into the thick trees. Just off to my side was a rusted trailer home with its lighted windows calling to me. The family from could have been waiting for me inside there, but I didnt care, it was better than what I assumed was trailing me through the woods.

I staggered up the soggy wooden steps of the trailer with legs that wobbled with fatigue and fell onto the metal door with a pound. With my last reserves of power, I threw my hands against the heavy door until it swung open and I fell at the feet of a shirtless middle-aged man eating a can of pork and beans with a fork. The man licked his lips and looked down at me quizzically, like a dog looks at a bug running across the driveway.

After a few moments of looking up at the man and his raggedy beard, I realized that I recognized him a little bit and not in a good way, he was Colts dad. I had seen him before at parent/teacher conferences, walking through the halls in dirty cowboy boots and chewing tobacco and had watched him drop off Colt for school in a colossal Jeep with no top.

I usually would have been horrified to stumble upon Colts dad, especially knowing it probably meant Colt was just feet away smoking cigarettes or playing video games, but it was instead a salvation this time. I didnt even care about Colt. I just stayed at his dads feet and asked if he could drive me home.

I was actually glad that Colts dad came off as a bit of an outlaw because he didnt ask a single question about what had happened to me, just drove through the night to my parents house 15 minutes away and dropped me off just as the sun had finished rising. He gave me a wink when he dropped me off bathed in a coat of frigid morning air that had been enveloping me during the entire ride in his open Jeep.

I told my parents Toby woke up at the crack of dawn with his dad to go fishing and I didnt want to go so I just had them drop me off. They didnt even ask a single follow-up question, just fed me breakfast before I slunk off to play video games and tried to wash the horror from the coils of my brain.

Im not sure exactly why I never told anyone what happened. I think maybe it was as a kid you feel like all adults are infallible and that no one will believe you. I also feel like subconsciously maybe I knew doing so would end up making the rest of my life be a giant controversy of black clouds. So I just stayed silent. When I saw Toby at school on Monday, I never said a single thing about what happened and we stayed school friends, but never saw each other outside of school ever again. Even school friends didnt last long either as Toby started getting homeschooled the next year and then moved away. I have tried to find him on Facebook over the years (usually when I get drunk), but have never been able to find anything about him, which to me is always a huge red flag.

Well until yesterday when I noticed two little red notification bubbles on my Facebook. They were a friend request from a heavily-tattooed Toby Gunderson and a message from him which read

The message has been sitting there unanswered in my inbox for weeks. I dont know, do you think I should get back to him?

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/14/my-friend-and-i-used-to-play-army-in-the-woods-but-this-incident-changed-our-friendship-forever/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161829267332

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samanthasroberts · 7 years