aita for flirting with my online friend 🌐❓

i (20s, trans man) have been getting closer to my online friend (same as me). we were mutuals for a while in what i can best describe as an online writing community but only started actually talking last year when i approached him to do a project together. we've been pretty strictly platonic for the last year but this year it's ramped up a bit (in part i think due to greater proximity)- we make a lot of sexual jokes at each other. now that's not necessarily a big deal because we do it at other male (and not male in his case) friends of ours, its just sort of how our circle interacts with each other, but it's a bit different for me because i do actually have somewhat of a crush on him. i'm not super sure of how he feels towards me, but i do think he knows at least partially how i feel and is at least humouring our banter.

now here's where i feel like an asshole. i have no intention of dating him at all- even if he does like me back, the reality is that we live on two entirely separate continents and neither of us have the financial means to go see each other. now you could suggest we date long distance or online but i've done that like 4 different times now with 4 different people and i just know it doesn't work for me, for a variety of reasons i won't get into. just trust me when i say it would end poorly. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes (nor do i want to be, bar one) and my friend is important enough to me that if we ended up like that then i'd be really upset about it. usually when i break up with someone or am broken up with i'm left with a lot of resentment and bitterness. plus our writing project would be tanked, which i'm not willing to jeopardise because i think it's excellent, he's a great partner.

in addition to that i'm only a few months out of a pretty rough breakup with someone i also had viewed as a close friend (irl, not online). i'm not conflating them here, because they aren't alike whatsoever, but i worry that im using my friend as an emotional rebound to cope with what my ex did to me, even if he doesn't know it. i don't want my ex back and i am honestly still feeling a lot of anger towards him, so it's been nice putting my attention and libido elsewhere. however i know how shitty it feels to be someone else's rebound guy and would hate to do that to my friend. plus i could be stunting my own healing progress?? idk

it initially was just a bit of fun but i've had to privately and seriously talk myself down from getting jealous as fuck when my friend has had other people jokingly (or not jokingly, who knows) flirt with him. i'm a pretty intense person (hi, bpd) so i've been trying to reign myself back and keep things chill and funny between us but i'm getting kind of concerned whether i should stop entirely so my feelings go away or if im fine enjoying giving and being given attention in return, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. even just liking him is kind of breaking three of the rules i'd set for myself after my last few relationship disasters (no more online stuff, no more white boys, let my brain cool down and dont be interested in anyone for at least a year) so i kind of just don't know where i should be taking this if anywhere

The Amazing Digital Circus and Escapism

A/N: Just watched and I LOOVEEEE cooking theories for these kinda of Youtube Series even if they turn out to be wrong so Heres the incomprehensible youtube comment I made just now bye

I like to put preliminary theories for series like this and my theory for this is that the circus is some kind of representation of escapism and/or maladaptive daydreaming

1. There's a shit ton of religious symbolism, maybe suggesting that the circus is supposed to be “heaven” although it has underlying hellish elements. For example, cain being portrayed as god and the fact that he doesn’t seem to really get why anyone would want to leave. In contrast, his name references the brother of abel who was cursed by god for his jealous rage. Not only this but, how everything is generally upbeat but there are momentary mental breaks when they are brought back to reality.

2. Reality is often blurred: The characters are real people but its suggested the lines are easily blurred like in the fact that pomni gets attached to a character that was never real to begin with or the fact that cain hints that it can be hard to tell the difference between real characters and npcs

3. Anecdotal but the fact that everyone seems to have a different vision for how the adventures should be played out: Jax wants action and violence, ragatha just wants something stimulating and pomni wants something comforting; the fact that jax gets upset when his vision isn't fulfilled feels very similar to mishaps when maladaptive daydreaming

4. Glitches and the video game setting overall: Idk if its just me but in maladaptive daydreaming its very easy for the mind to wander or mess up, causing a “glitch” in the story which I think is very similar to the glitches in the show

More UTC

5. The concept of VR itself is pretty much one step away from active escapism and although a bit of a stretch, I think the fact that the characters can’t take off their headset references their unwillingness to live in reality rather than actually being forced

6. Character behavior: How pomni goes from extremely weirded out to accepting and even slightly enjoying the circus feels very reminiscent of how it feels to first start maladaptive daydreaming as its an entirely odd thing to do but when you get into it it turns out to be fun and you keep doing it for hours. Ragatha is also interesting because she seems to ignore reality in favor of keeping herself sane, even ignoring devastating truths she realizes when she moves on from her mental breaks so quickly which is pretty much what maladaptive daydreaming is.

7. Exit: When pomni makes it to the exit and sees the desk setup with the headset, she began to lose her mind and instead of going forward to the next door she started going back (i think). I think this was her momentarily remembering how she felt like nothing in real life but in the circus she could be the main character (i think she struggled with feeling like nothing in the real world because of how much she brings it up and sympathizes with gummigoo, probably feeling like an npc irl) though either way she leaves the scene, likely not wanting to remember how her life was before.

8. Abstraction: Since we haven’t seen much of it Im still not completely sure but if I had to guess— I think abstraction is when you completely separate yourself from reality and live in a daydream full time since abstraction means “The quality of dealing with ideas rather than events” which is pretty much what escapism is; I think abstraction is likely a state of complete delusion as is hinted in the show by saying people who abstract are crazy

Overall I think the digital circus is probably either about escapism in general and/or a commentary on how we distract ourselves from serious topics almost as if we are children protecting ourselves from real life.

Hey, I just felt the need to vent and see if you or your followers had any advice for me because I feel so stuck.

I don't have any relatives or friends in Israel so sometimes I feel I have no room to talk on the conflict. I'm in the US, I'm 'safe', my family is safe, but I still feel so hurt and the grief from everything happening to 'my people'

I was talking to a friend and I know we have conflicting opinions on everything happening. I just feel so heart broken by him as we were discussing things and he cuts the conversation when I said "Hamas is a terrorist organization". I don't know how I can trust him anymore when he can't even see that. I love him so much. He's essentially my best friend. It hurts so much and I don't know what to do. At this point I just keep quiet but there is resentment building and I hate it.

Any advice would help. Sorry for rambling. I'm just emotional.

Hi Nonnie! I totally understand, you're being legit in how you feel, and I'm sending you many hugs!

I believe I've answered a similar ask at some point since the war, I'm just not sure how to find it, because Tumblr's search option sucks. Maybe through the ask tag, IDK. If anyone's better at handling this site, and can find it and link it in the comments, I'm sure the anon (and definitely me) would appreciate that!

I think that ask was more generalized though, so here I'll refer more specifically to yours.

First of all, if you're Jewish, you have family in Israel. All Jews are one big family, one tribe, and I consider every Jew a part of my extended family. That said, there's actually a good chance that, given enough genealogical research, you'll find that one, two or three generations ago, the family tree split, and there's a branch where people returned to Israel, so you have distant relatives you weren't even aware of here. If you're interested in looking into this, a good place to start is to contact the Anu Museum, which delves into the history of the Jewish people, and also keeps extensive genealogical records for Jews.

Hamas is a terrorist organization, that's not an opinion or debate, it's a fact. People tend to claim that resistance can be seen as terrorists or freedom fighters, depending on one's opinion, and it's true that at times the term "terrorists" has been abused, but there's actually a very simple way to figure out the matter. If an organization intentionally targets civilians with violence, including lethal violence, for the sake of achieving some sort of a political change (and that includes political change in service of an extremist religious cause), then we're talking about terrorists. The differentiation between a regime as a legit target for a struggle, and innocent civilians who should never be targeted with violence, that's the difference between freedom fighters (whether we agree with them or not) and terrorists.

The exact date of Hamas being established as a terrorist organization is not known, most believe it was Dec 1987 (it announced it was joining the First Intifada on Dec 15, when it started on Dec 9. Hamas escalated it considerably, as it did the Second Intifada), while the son of a Hamas founder (Mosab Hassan Yousef. He was repeatedly jailed by Israel for terrorist activity in the service of his dad's organization, but as a teen in prison saw how Hamas was torturing Palestinians. He decided to flip and help Israel in order to save his own people from Hamas) says it was actually slightly earlier, in 1986. Either way, by the end of 1989 (just two years after its first public statement), Hamas was already so brutal and violent, that it was outlawed here. Soon, especially as it started carrying out extensive suicide bombings (the very first one was on Apr 16, 1993), it was also recognized as a terrorist organization and outlawed by multiple governments (including the UK, the US, Jordan, the EU, Japan, Norway, Iceland, Canada, Australia and Paraguay).

Not only is Hamas clearly a terrorist organization since its very first act of terrorism, after Oct 7 it is also one of the most successful ones ever (second only to Al-Qaeda after 9/11, though if you look at the number of fatalities per population size, then Hamas have surpassed Al-Qaeda as well). To not recognize Hamas as a terrorist organization is to not recognize terrorism, and that it is fundamentally wrong, because nothing ever justifies killing civilians to affect a political change, and THAT is an incredibly disturbing position to take.

On top of that, Hamas is Islamist, it wants a world ruled by an Islamist regime, and sees the eradication of Israel as a first step on the way there. It will only condemn other Islamist terrorist organizations for digressing from this plan of eradicating the Jewish state first, before taking on the rest of the world. Hamas is also genocidal towards Jews. Its founding charter declares this explicitly, that Judgment Day will not come until all Jews are exterminated. Its leaders have continuously and repeatedly expressed themselves in similar ways, calling upon "true believers" to kill Jews everywhere around the world, and in fact since Oct 7, several Hamas terrorist cells have been exposed as operating against Jews outside of Israel.

Someone who can't even admit Hamas are terrorists will likely not recognize the genocidal, antisemitic and extremist Islamist nature of Hamas, either. If you're Jewish, what that means is that your "friend" is willing to turn a blind eye to the declared statements of those who wish to kill you simply because you're Jewish. And if you ask me, that's not a friend at all. But even if you're not Jewish, I think the willingness to allow Hamas' genocidal antisemitism by denying the nature of this organization is morally despicable. I would kind of get it if your friend lived in a non-free country, where he can't get the true info on Hamas. But if you live in a free society, and your friend can get online, and go to one of the sites that share info on Hamas, especially the footage from Oct 7, but he's still denying what this terrorist organization is really like? I think you're very right to be upset by that.

At the end of the day, how you deal with it is up to you. It sounds like this person is really important to you, and I get it. At the same time, it sounds like you're having a hard time living with his views of Hamas, which is beyond justified. If your friend is willing to overlook this, what else is he willing to allow? I guess the question is whether you feel like you can have a talk with him, where you put this all on the table, not just Hamas being a terrorist organization, but also the genocidal, Islamist and antisemitic nature of it, and explain to your friend that it is personally distressing to you, that he can act as if Hamas is a legit organization? Do you feel like you can talk to him, and if he understood what it means to you, he might be more willing to listen? If you don't talk to him about this, do you feel like you can live with his views?

I'll be honest, I personally would not want such a person as a "friend." I would never feel like I could trust him. That doesn't negate all of his other good traits and what he can and does give you as a friend, though. I get that. I understand that it is a loss, if this ends your friendship. And that's why I say that it's up to you. It's up to what you feel is in the best interest of your well being. Do you still trust him to have your back despite his views? Do you think you'd be worse off to lose everything else about your friendship? Or do you think he values your friendship enough to listen? Do you feel like the distress of knowing what he supports is too much, and is bad for your well being? At the end of the day, only you can answer these questions.

Just know that no matter what you decide, you're not alone. There are others who feel like you do, and who would accept you, all of you, anti-Hamas views included, and will be true allies and friends. You def have a friend here. I'm wishing you well with whatever you decide to do, and if you feel like sending follow up asks, please don't hesitate to! Much love, Nonnie. xoxox

(for more of my posts regarding Israel, click here)

If this is a person who you define as your best friend, but they're cool

hiiii my kennderland goddess so ive been catching on to ur series of kennderland sooo much im so hooked to it ITS SO GOOD GODLY DELICIOUS KAWAII DELIGHTFUL GOODNESS i love it so much and like its the reason why im into crackship SO like im not rushing u or anything im just worried if theres anything wrong around u cuz u havent updated since july and i kinda worried ..... if u answer this THANKS SO MUCH for answering and i hope ure always doing well in everything !!!!1!1

Oughhh this is such a sweet ask 😭😭😭 There hasn't been anything "wrong" necessarily - I've been struggling to get through this part of the planned story as I am... way more comfortable writing angst/hurt/comfort/more plot nonsense rather than fluff. I love drawing fluffy stuff! Struggle to write 😅

Between that and just general ~adult life~ fun times (job has been stupid, but now I've committed to finding a new one so that's given a lot of relief, after a couple other med changes for the Mental Illness I'm finally finally feeling better) I haven't been able to progress

However! I do have.......... a lot of other stuff written (both for james/Leon and me falling down the rabbit hole of wesker/Birkin and intertwining everyone between SH and RE) that hopefully once I get through this slump I'll have a little bit of backlog (tbh getting this ask has kinda motivated me to wanting to try and work on this :) )

I also literally have an entire sketchbook full of drawings and have been drawing Entire Group Nonsense that I can hopefully post? I won't promise because it's annoying to scan stuff lol so maybe I'll take some pictures if that's something you'd want to see too (I do have some stuff on here already that went to the drawings on ao3)

It also has passed the one year of drowning into this nonsense where I accidentally drug myself and @fly-rye into this. Seeing these awful unpracticed drawings is so funny and scary 🤣 with me drawing Leon with SUPER emo hair

I'll also in lude some doodles for the last chapters uploaded for PE

Also James' big beautiful body in unrelated stupid shirts

(I've done this on mobile so hopefully the formatting isn't horrendous 😅)

this guy is honestly making me question too much shit

bc there's no way in hell is just that nice, right?

at this point either: 1. he's being this nice and kind bc he has a crush on me, 2. he's honestly that nice, which will make me have a crush on him, bc omg. he's just the nicest person ever

hello it's part 3 of 3 for my cool fun graphic design adventure!! part 1 and part 2 got too long. to recap i am recreating this t-shirt design but with the magic 8 ball songs instead of city names:

here is the current draft, updated through 3/27 (pittsburgh) (!!!!)

Charles, Laurent, Andrea and Xavi explaining what pre-race prep entails [originally broadcast as part of a feature on Canal+ ahead of the British Grand Prix 2019]

A book asks the reader to imagine any sensory input of the story, whereas a film or TV show provides both sound and visuals. Audio fiction lives in the space between these two approaches. I think there's a unique power to that middle ground. I love how audio drama asks the listener to co-construct their sensory experience of the story.

Audio drama allows me to simultaneously experience 'This character feels real to me because I've heard their voice' and 'This character feels real to me because I've pictured them myself'.

What the characters are experiencing is both directly presented to me and left to my imagination. There's no page or screen between me and the story. It's there in my ears. It's there in my mind's eye.

There's a strange sense of intimacy to that, the intimacy of feeling like a fly on the wall during a conversation or of hearing a character speaking as if directly to me. Perhaps it sounds contradictory to say that experiencing a story only through sound allows me to feel uniquely connected to that story, but that's one of the reasons why I love audio fiction so much.

...

i think a lot of people coddle kuai liang too much. yes he’s good and a tortured man etc. and people see that he has struggled but don’t really see that he still is struggling and has faults. even in mk12 people aren’t really talking about how he did in fact try to kill bi-han- which yes, he would have regretted, but that is still a fault you have to see in him. he’s susceptible to fits of blind rage that will make him do things he’ll regret. his anger was justified (obviously) but he’s also capable of murdering his own brother (which once again, i am sure he would have regretted).

starship au thts the same except the planet its set on is pnf404 and bug is a pikmin. the characters r the same characters theyre just like pikmin creatures and the starship rangers r like hocotations or koppaites and also maybe the rescue corp instead of the starship rangers but maybe not bc the rescue corp randomly going to a planet makes no sense actually makes a lot more sense for it to be hocotaite frieght or like. the koppaites going to pnf404 for fruit maybe but honestly they can still just be the starship rangers but pikmin version. the point is it wld be so slay . whos with me .

Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)

Isn't Riz like canonically aro/ace? Why are there so many fic shipping him with Fabian?

i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!

Simon's flash forward of the future being Jess' first appearance... 🤵🏾‍♂️💍👰🏽‍♀️ anyone???