#where's that chinese guy with a southern accent?
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Go Ahead and Cry Little Girl
Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x f!reader (Agent Gin)
Warnings: Daddy issues!!, character death mentioned, daddy kink, piv (again wrap it up guys!), f & m oral, dacryphillia, 1 use of song lyrics, dirty talk (it’s jack mf Daniels what did you expect?) boss/employee dynamics, sex work (we support sex workers in this household!) squirting, voyeurism, cum eating, Reader is described as having hair, a vagina, well hydrated (; and can blush. that should be all! Lmk if i missed something (:
A/n: This one’s for my babes with daddy issues! I see you, I love you. This idea hit me while I was driving to work and the song “Daddy issues” by The neighborhood came on. As of right now I think each Murder daddy is gonna have a daddy issues one shot but we’re starting off strong with my personal favorite cowboy.🤠
Growing up your dad wasn’t home very much. You honestly don’t have very many memories of the guy. The memories you do have always seem to be of him frowning at you, disappointed and telling you that you need to do better, be better. You were just a kid. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Instead of having a loving, doting father you had this stranger who’s approval you wanted desperately. So you worked hard in school, played sports, joined as many after school programs as you could and when you graduated high school you had full ride scholarships to all the big schools across the nation. I’m talking Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Yale, the list goes on. You ended up choosing Columbia University in New York so you could be as far away from home as possible. College was a breeze for you, graduating early with high honors you weren’t surprised when Statesmen approached you offering you an intelligence job.
Accepting this job was an easy decision for you. A few years after graduating high school your dad kicked the bucket and your mom ran off with the first guy who gave her a lick of attention. You had no one to go back too, no family to visit on the holidays. And you loved working at Statesmen. Working in the lab alongside Ginger, you helped create new technologies and advance healthcare. You had it all; a great career, a nice studio apartment in Manhattan. What more could you want? Ah yes approval. For some reason you still had this deep seeded need to be well liked and needed by others. So you do what any girl does, you sell your nudes online to creepy men in exchange they give you their money and high praises. You never reveal your face or your real identity so nobody knows it’s you.
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Coming back to work after a long weekend is proving to be a tough one. You’ve been overworking yourself lately and having three whole days off you went home and slept for hours only waking up to eat Chinese takeout and then go directly back to sleep. Back in the lab, you find yourself frustrated and having to keep retrying new samples for a new antibiotic your working on.
“Hey Gin go ahead and take a break hun. I’ve seen you redo the same sample 10 times now. I’m not sure where your head is but try to get it out of the clouds before you come back.” Ginger Ale says to you as you lay your head down on the table next to the microscope you’ve been staring at for the last two hours.
Sighing, “Yea yea. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me Ginger. I just can’t focus and I have zero energy.” you say as you get up and start gathering your things.
Soon enough your back up on the fifth floor, down the hall from the cafeteria. Just as your rounding the corner you find yourself running right into the very man who haunts your every thought. Jack Daniels or Agent Whiskey as most people at Statesmen know him as. The man has been the star of all your dirty daydreams, his accent and mannerisms scream ‘southern gentleman’ and boy do you eat that shit up every time you see him.
“Well hey there darlin’ watch out where your going. Don’t wanna go runnin into any ole body now do we?” Jack says in his thick accent just as you bounced backward after hitting him square in the chest.
“Oh my god Agent Whiskey I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there!” You manage to get out despite having the wind knocked out of you.
“Now darlin’ call me Jack. Am I gonna have to tell you this every time?” He teases you causing a deep blush to creep across your cheeks.
With a soft smile on your face and your eyes cast down, “Of course not Ag- I mean Jack.” You say with the smallest giggle. As soon as the words left your mouth you felt Jacks finger under your chin, lift your face up forcing you to look directly into his gorgeous deep brown eyes.
“There we go. Now that’s what I like to hear. My name come out of such a beautiful lady’s mouth.” Jack says with a smirk.
As if you couldn’t blush any harder, you somehow turn even redder in the face.
“Now go on beautiful, have a good day.” Jack says as he tilts his hat towards you.
“Thanks Jack, you have a good one too.” You manage to squeak out as you gather yourself once again and continue on walking toward the cafeteria.
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Sitting down at a table in a far back corner, you crack open a cold can of coke and take a deep sip. The carbonation leaving a cold wake of bubbles in your throat, already feeling the affects of the caffeine. Pulling your phone out you decide to hop on your website and respond to a few messages as you wait for the soda to really kick in. You have a good handful of regulars who like to ask for custom content and one of them had recently asked for a video of you riding your favorite toy. Just as your about to send the video, a text comes in from Jack.
1:32pm - Hey I hope I didn’t hurt ya when you ran into me earlier sugar 😉
1:34pm - No you didn’t! If anything I’m sorry for running into you! I hope I didn’t hurt you Jack.🩷
Without even thinking, after you press send you hit the icon for your photos and pull up the video you were sending to your regular, find it and hit send.
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Jacks sitting at his desk when he hears a ping and sees you’ve texted him back. As soon as he read your text he saw a video message pop up immediately after. Opening the video, he sees you sitting on the floor in your bedroom and a decent sized pink dildo. The video starts and you swing your leg over the dildo, lowering yourself down, you grab the dildo and swipe it through your folds a few times. Moaning, you drop all the way down on the dildo. The angle of the camera allows Jack to see the dildo stretch you open. Not quite as big as Jack, it still gives him a delicious view of what you’d look like speared on his cock. Thinking to himself, he wonders if you meant to send this to him through text. Most likely it was on accident. But what you don’t know is that Jack knows all about your little secret. In fact he’s been one of your regulars for awhile now. Always sending in requests and tipping generously. Something else he knows you are ignorant too is that he was the one who requested this particular video.
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After texting Jack back and sending out the custom video, you feel awake enough now to get back to work. Just as you get back into the lab, you hear the lab phone ring. You go to grab the phone off the hook, “Hello Agent Gin, how can I help you?”
“Well well well if it ain’t the pretty lady I need to talk too” Jack crones into your ear. “I need to see you in my office darlin’ now. Please.”
“Yes of course sir I’m on my way now.” You reply, your voice cracking just the tiniest bit.
Unsure as to why Jack needs to see you in his office, you check your texts between you two to see if you misread something and that’s when you realize you sent Jack the video! Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. You’re screwed! Your dirty little secret is out now and the one man you want so desperately inside of you now knows all about it.
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Knocking on Jacks office door, you go to turn the knob to open the door.
Peeking your head in, “You wanted to see me sir?” you say as you clear your throat that’s suddenly dry as the Sahara Desert.
Sitting at his desk, you see Jack look up at you with this hungry look in his eyes.
“Ah there she is. Come in sugar. Have a seat.” He motions to the chair in front of his desk. You quickly come in, closing the door behind you and taking a seat.
Jack stands up, slowly walking towards the door when you notice he locks it. Making his way back to his desk, he sits on top of it directly in front of you.
“Now sugar your probably wondering why I need to talk to you.”
Gulping, you look down unable to look him in the face, “um I think I know why sir.” You manage to say, knowing there’s no reason to play stupid. You both know what you sent him. Might as well confess to it and get it all over with.
“Look at me sugar. I wanna see those pretty eyes of yours when I’m talking to you” Jack says in a low baritone voice.
Looking up at him, a deep blush covering your cheeks, you try to swallow as best you can and find your words.
“Now we’re both adults here. We both have urges. If you needed a good fuck darlin’ all you had to was ask. I’d be more than happy to oblige.” He says in a matter of factly tone.
Stunned you just gawk up the agent in front of you. Did he really just say that? Is he- he’s not- what is happening?!??
Jack goes to stand up, directly in front of you, “Get on your knees little girl.”
Unable to speak you do as he says and you push back your chair as you lower yourself onto your knees.
“There’s my good girl. Now sugar I’m going to fuck you good and hard. And your going to take every thing I give you. Understood?”
Shaking your head yes as you look up at Jack. Nervous as hell but you can’t help but get excited. Isn’t this what you always wanted? Isn’t he the star of your wet dreams?
Jack goes to take his blazer off, rolling up his sleeves as he begins to unbuckle his absurdly large belt buckle. Watching him undress like this has your mouth and pussy watering. Your finally gonna have the Jack Daniels inside of you. You can’t wait.
He pulls out the biggest dick you’ve ever seen. Now you get why this man walks around so arrogantly. The man has the dick to back it up. Your eyes widen as the head of his cock seems to stare at you in your soul. At about average length, he’s girthy as all get out. There’s no way you’d be able to get much of him in your mouth.
Jack gives his cock a few good strokes, “Open up sugar. Let me see how good you can be.”
You drop your jaw quickly and open your mouth, dropping your tongue out. Smirking, Jack takes his cock and starts rubbing it up and down your tongue. After gliding the head on your tongue a few times, Jack sticks his cock in your mouth, forcing it down your throat causing you to gag at the intrusion. Without holding back, Jack continues to gag you with his cock. Your eyes over flowing with tears.
Jack looks down at you the whole time, just staring in awe at how beautiful you look with his cock in your mouth, eyes wide with tears looking back at him.
“Go on and cry little girl. Nobody does it quite like you sugar. I’ve been watching you for some time now. Oh yes I know all about your dirty little secret baby.” He reveals, making you choke even harder on his cock in utter disbelief. He’s known this whole time? How much of you has he really seen?
Jack finally pulls his cock out of your mouth, spit strings still connecting you two. Brown eyes staring deep into your soul, you take a deep gulp of breath, chest heavy as you manage to stutter out, “y- you know? How long?”
“I’ve known for awhile now darlin’. I love watching your little videos. Always gets me harder than a goddamn rock. It was actually me who requested that particular little video. So it is funny you accidentally sent it to me.” Jack admits.
Before you have the chance to respond, Jack grabs you by your arm helping you up before he’s leading you towards his desk and gently pushes your top half down so your bent over. Wearing a dress that day, you can’t help but feel bare as he bends you over his desk. You feel Jack crouch down behind you, warm hands running up and down the back of your thighs. You feel his warm breath on your clothed pussy.
Taking a deep breath in, Jack slowly pulls your panties down exposing your sweet pussy to him. Unable to help himself he presses his face in and lays a kiss to your exposed clit. Hearing you let out a soft moan breaks any bit of self control Jack had and he dives in. Tongue poking out, he swipes it through your folds a few times before making a zig zagging motion from your taint up to your clit.
Feeling his thick tongue protrude your wet pussy, you feel yourself gush as he starts to flick your clit.
Moaning, “Please Jack I need more. Please.” You whisper breathlessly.
Hearing your sweet request, you feel jacks thick fingers enter you and curl up, hitting that sweet spot.
Taking his tongue off your sweet, sweet pussy, “That’s it sugar. Tell daddy what you want baby. Tell daddy how to make this pussy cream.” Jack growls as he pumps his fore and ring finger faster into you.
All to quickly you feel the sudden need to pee. Moaning even louder causing Jack to pump his fingers even faster, all to soon you feel yourself start to squirt.
“Oohhh ungghh!!!!” Comes from deep in your throat as you continue to squirt, the exquisite feeling of squirting all over his fingers is a high you never want to come down from.
“Fuck sugar that’s it. That’s it baby come on, give it all to daddy baby that’s it” Jack crones as he tries to drink up every single drop.
Boneless, you can’t help but drop on top of the desk, unable to hold your upper half up any longer. Knees weak, legs shaking, you feel jack stand back up behind you. Jack takes hold of his cock, swiping it through your folds, gathering your wetness on his cock before he slides in your sweet pussy. The feeling of his thick cock splitting you open takes your breath away.
Taking his time, feeling every ridge inside of your pussy, Jack finally fills you up to the hilt.
“Fuuuccckkk” Jack breaths out as his cock kisses your cervix. After not moving for a few seconds to let you adjust to his girth, Jack begins pummeling into you. Hands gripping your hips, forcing you back onto his cock as he fucks you good and hard just as he promised.
“That’s it sugar. Look at you. Taking my cock. So. Damn. Beautiful.” He grunts out. Jack leans forward, his chest on your back when you feel his arm snake around your front and pulls you up to him. You feel his other hand bury in your hair forcing your head up when you notice a little red, blinking light up in the corner, “Smile for the camera darlin’” Jack crones into your ear. Knowing he’s been filming this entire time has your eyes rolling back as you moan.
“This sweet fucking pussy belongs to me now darlin’ you hear me? Only I get to fuck this pussy.” Jack whispers in your ear.
“Oh fuck yes. Yes daddy it’s yours. All yours! Fuck!” You say breathlessly, agreeing to whatever he says as long as he continues to fuck you this good. You feel yourself getting close once again, the feeling of needing to pee is back.
“Daddy I’m close, please please can I cum? I wanna cum daddy! Please let me!” You beg, hoping he shows you a little mercy and let’s you cum.
Jack slaps his hand over your mouth, “Fuck baby you gotta be quiet. Daddy’s gone let you cum baby girl don’t you worry. Daddy wants to feel his sweet pussy cum on his cock.” He tells you as his other hand snakes down towards your clit. You feel his thick finger swirl around your clit and that does it for you. All too soon you feel the dam break and your coming. Hard. You bite your lip trying your hardest to keep quiet. The euphoria you feel is hard to contain, your eyes rolling back once again.
Feeling you gush hard around his cock, almost as if your pussy is trying to push him out, does him in. Jack pumps a few more times before he’s coming inside of you. As your both coming down from your highs, chests heaving, you feel jack pull out of you leaving you an empty mess.
Not sure what possessed you, you turn around to face him and lower yourself down to your knees once again. Gripping the base of his dick, you lick the mixture of you and Jack off his cock all while looking up at him. Making a show of you swallowing every bit of your cum.
“Well I’ll be damned sugar. You never fail to surprise me.” Jack chuckles darkly as he watches you from above. You can’t help but smile sweetly up at him hoping this isn’t the last time you get a taste of this cowboy.
A/n: idk where this came from lol the song inspired me but this?^ yeeaaaa we can blame my hormone monster for this, I am ovulating lmao. I hope y’all enjoy!
Tagging a few Whiskey connoisseurs and friends that I think will enjoy: @neverwheremoonchild @foli-vora @whiskeynwriting @lumoverheaven @toxicanonymity @multiversed-daydreamer @nosesitter @beefrobeefcal @juletheghoul @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @megangovier20 @ikissdin @wannab-urs
#pedro pascal#Jack Daniels#agent whiskey#agent whiskey x you#jack daniels x female reader#jack daniels x you#agent whiskey smut#spicy smut#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal cinematic universe#pedro pascal characters#kingsman the golden circle
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Ninja Headcannons
Cole
Any pronouns
Demiromantic Bisexual with male lean
Afro-Latino with a little bit of French from great-grandfather
NU Goth
Collects records
Short butterfly locs
Booba 🤲🤲🤲
Will eat anything and everything if it doesn’t leave his mouth
PTSD from the fall in March of the Oni 🥰
After DotD, the others (and him) kept forgetting Cole isn’t a ghost anymore so they kept hitting him and he kept bumping into walls for a while
His mother would make cake from him when younger, thus why he loves it so much
Releases stress by training, baking cakes, or listening to music
Likes to study the meaning behind song lyrics
Jay
Demi-Boy
He/They
Bisexual
3/4 Korean 1/4 White (Libber was half white half Korean)
Portable charger that never runs out
“BRO HIS HEART STOPPED BEATING” Jay: “Let me try” ELECTROCUTES HIM
Southern accent that faded away over time
Scene kid in high school
Mythology nerd
Everyone bullies him for being part white
Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons fan
Refuses to download Twitter bc his fans scare the shit out of him
Audhd(?) (Autistic ADHD)
Kai
Trans
He/Him
Pansexual
Half Filipino Half Argentinian
Used to sacrifice a lot of things just to see Nya happy (cough cough Kenny McCormick cough cough)
Switched names with Nya one day and got hit by the transgender-fication ray
Constantly refers to Nya as “sis” because she used to be the only thing he had
Only good at forging magical weapons (the opposite of Karlof lmao)
Allergic to seafood but didn’t know until he was talking to the others like “yk it’s weird how fish makes my lips tingle” and they went 😟😟
Used to have nightmares the day his parents disappeared
Has accidentally made so many fires out the most random things
Every sea creature hates him
Dragons adore him and Oni loathe him
Lloyd
Trans, non-binary
He/They
Achillean AroAce spectrum
Vitiligo
Japanese with a bit of Chinese from grandma
AUTISTIC ADHD HAVER 🫵🫵🫵🫵
Has never seen any pictures of his grandmother, only heard vague stories
Lots of animals like him. Like a lot. Bro is followed by anything and everything when he goes to the park.
Seasonal allergies (FUCKING LOSER (im projecting))
Collector of books he will never read, physical and digital
Old dreamsmp fan- the others still make fun of him for it to this day
Sleeps in the most uncomfortable positions and places but is somehow fine
Lloyd wishes he had stayed in contact with Brad.
Had matching bracelets with Brad, but Lloyd doesn’t remember where he put it
Lloyd sometimes stalks Brad’s social media pages to see what he’s been up to, but is too scared to actually follow him back. When they do though, they find out Brad blocked them on everything the day after.
Post season 16, Lloyd became a pet sitter for a while. Imagine their surprise when the door opened and he was face-to-face with Brad. Lloyd quit the next day.
Nya
Trans
She/Her
Bisexual
Half Filipino Half Argentinian
Really observant
Knows what Kai did for her when they were younger and she feels awful about it
Can manipulate water in people but it’s hard to do
Couldn’t remember what her parents looked or sounded like until Season 7
Used to steal a lot when she was younger to help her brother
Every sea creature likes her
Dragons are terrified of her
Wakes up in a cold sweat when her older middle-child senses start tingling (Red Green Blue Ghost by beloved 🙏🙏)
Her and Morro got intense beef like fist fighting type (middle child stuff)
“Babe why is your mom hot” “Nya istfsm”
Zane
He/They/It
Pansexual
Vitiligo
African-American
AUTISTIC 🫵🫵
Used to overheat a lot pre season 4 but his ice powers cancelled it out
“Oh this media is nice” proceeds to research it for the next twelve hours (me)
JAZZ LIKER, GET HIS ASS
Gets treated like a brand new iPhone by Acronix 😭😭
Doesn’t need to charge, being near Jay Is enough 😭😭
Kenny McCormick by how many times he has died
“Don’t worry guys, I can fix this problem” pulls out gun
Wakes up in cold sweat “MY STUPID BITCH SENSES ARE TINGLING”
Their heart is made of ice, literally (their power core is made of blue crystal and chronosteel, which is how the old EM gave Zane their powers)
PIXAL
She/They/It
Unlabeled
African
Collects everything and anything
“Aw, this is too expensive!” … “Wait I’m rich.”
Only wears turtlenecks and plaid pants/skirts
Small rivalry with Nya because everything PIXAL creates, Nya has created before
A little bit insane
Zane: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
PIXAL: You already are
“Woah, they’re laser focused!” and PIXAL is listening to celebrity drama videos
Likes watching people argue on Samurai X’s gender/pronouns (thinks its funny)
Acts like schlatt sometimes
Has a habit of speaking in a monotone voice and is genuinely surprised when people think it’s being rude
Brutally honest 😭😭 Kai will say “does this make my ass look fat?” and PIXAL will respond with “the opposite, actually.”
#xylomilo: ninjago#ninjago#ninjago headcanons#ninjago kai#ninjago nya#ninjago lloyd#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago jay#ninjago pixal#kai jiang#nya jiang#kai smith#nya smith#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd garmadon#zane julien#cole brookstone#jay walker#jay gordon#pixal borg#long post
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The man startles when he comes into the office, so Xavier raises both hands.
“Not gonna hurt you,” he says quietly, though his voice wavers somewhat.
“Well, shit, son,” the older man drawls, slow hand going for the light switch. “Standin’ in the dark ain’t really convincin’ me.” For some reason, it makes Xavier laugh—maybe it’s how syrup soft his southern accent is, or how there’s no actual fear in the words. The laugh peters off and he clears his throat, drops his hands. Xavier blinks rapidly when the lights get flicked on, a hand shielding his eyes to the light. He’d been there some time, waiting. In the dark.
With the lights on, he gets a solid look at Agustin Lazarro. The first thing Xavier is comforted by is that he’s definitely taller than the man, though he keeps himself mostly slouched behind the desk—it puts distance between them. Just in case. Agustin’s older, gray to his facial hair. And he has laugh lines by his eyes, crows feet. He isn’t smiling at Xavier, but he could be. He could imagine that. This guy smiles at babies in grocery stores, that’s the vibe.
Which is good, because that’s why Xavier is there.
“Someone told me you could help,” he says quietly.
Agustin Lazarro takes a step closer into his office. The desk has paperwork scattered across it. There’s an empty mug that probably gets filled with coffee every day—Xavier wonders how he takes it. Looks like a sugar and cream kind of man. Everything about him says I will help you, but that could be a lie. Xavier, at this point, feels like everything is a lie that he keeps having to swallow. It’s the older mans turn to raise his hands.
“Pro’lly will. But I’m need you to take the gun out your jeans and put it on my desk.”
Xavier blinks, his shoulders dropping, head tilting, eyes narrowing. He doesn’t look military. Doesn’t mean he isn’t former, or could be currently and this Good Samaritan shit is a cover up. Or maybe ex police—no, definitely not ex police. He would have already pulled his own pistol and shot Xavier through the forehead. Police shoot first, ask questions later. So, not police or former. Eases the tension in his shoulders a bit.
Xavier lifts his left hand while his right slowly dips behind him. Underneath the giant sweatshirt he’d stolen from a gas station along the way, his handgun rests tucked into the band of his jeans. In a smooth, efficient and practiced motion, he draws it, ejects the magazine and lays both on the desk.
“Reckon you don’t really need that,” Agustin says with a lifted brow as he steps forward and takes both. He maneuvers to a filing cabinet that’s stuffed with manila folders and tucks the weapon inside. Xavier isn’t leaving without it, one way or another but he doesn’t need to mention that just yet. “You’re here after all.”
Xavier snorts and rolls his eyes.
“Clever way of asking what I can do?”
“We usually start there,” Agustin explains.
“I don’t wanna talk about it—but it’s not dangerous. To you anyway.”
The two men stay silently staring at each other for a long stretch of time, where Agustin must make some sort of decision looking at him. Xavier knows his appearance is deceiving. Because of that power that’s not dangerous to anyone. But himself, really. The opposite of dangerous. Theres no blood or injuries or bruises to make him look as hurt as he is. But Agustin must sense it in him, somewhere. Because he slowly pulls the chair out from the opposite side of his desk and sits down.
“I like your mustache,” Xavier comments, pointing. “You look like a cowboy.”
“Fancy that. M’orderin’ Chinese. You want some?”
Xavier throws himself down into the chair Agustin must sit in every day to do whatever paperwork is required for him at this clinic for wandering, at risk mutants. His feet scuff the floor a little and he sinks into himself, shoulders up. Xavier’s eyes flicker back and forth from Agustin to the door and then down to his hands.
“Could you get extra chicken?”
—
Half an hour later, there’s more food than Xavier can feasibly eat in front of him. But he gives a solid fucking effort, shoveling the food down with reckless abandon. He barely feels himself chewing—can’t actually remember the last time he sat and ate. Let alone ate something that he could taste. Xavier pauses to wipe a napkin across his mouth, nearly bashful when he uses a fork to point at fried rice.
It’s pushed his way and he wastes no time tearing into that as well.
“Can you tell me how old you are?” He’s using a gentle tone, like Xavier might be a terrified animal that will skitter out the window at the first hint of loud. Which, he’s ashamed to admit, could be true. Everyone was loud in the military. Drill sergeants all the way up to the Generals. Even the doctors, who weren’t much better than the drill sergeants. He feels an itch across his skull when he thinks of the doctors.
“Can I, sir?” he asks, in a playful voice, chewing up rice and putting a fist under his chin. “Or, do I remember how old I am?”
“A soft check for amnesia ain’t meant to be offensive.”
“I don’t have amnesia,” Xavier laughs, sneaky fingers going for an egg roll. The bag is shoved his way. Agustin hasn’t actually eaten anything. “I’m twenty-three. It’s Thursday, November sixteenth. Do you want the president? I kind of fucking hate him, but—”
“Alright, alright,” the clinic worker flaps his hand and laughs. He does have a nice laugh. Really rich, from the chest. Makes Xavier’s body feel less tense, so he drops the knee that’s tucked up and leans back in the chair. Remnants remain of the food, but he’d mostly devoured all of it. They fall into that easy, comfortable silence again. The street outside is mostly quiet, except for the occasional car, headlights bouncing off the walls inside the clinic office.
“M’gonna get you set up with a room, alright?” He starts to get up and Xavier leans forward quickly.
“Just for the night,” he says, his voice suddenly strung up—tight with stress. He feels a shiver run over his spine, his fingers curling. He thinks of the gun in the filing cabinet. And the doctors. “People are going to—I just shouldn’t be—Not in one place for too long.” He tries to explain it, but the words tumble out in a mess and he gently folds his hands behind his neck. He looks at the condensation on the can of soda that he’d drained in seconds. His eyes waver up.
“Alright,” he replies softly. Doesn’t push that, or ask any more questions. Instead, he comes around the side of the desk. Xavier slowly moves the chair backward so there’s still a bubble between them. Until the man lifts his hand and extends it. “I’m Tino, by the way. Didn’t introduce myself.”
Xavier is still thinking about the gun. But, he’s also sleepy from all the food. He’s tired from all the running. He looks at the callused palm in front of him and lifts his own pale hand. He gently slides it into the handshake and squeezes.
“I’m Xavier Wolffe.”
“Well, Xavier Wolffe,” Tino says with a big earnest smile. “Lets get you settled in a room.”
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new york city punk facts that will never leave me list ok let’s go
richard in a pensive moment.
i think this is danny from electra records’ review of television live one of at least three reviews of television live where the author is just thirsting over them. i adore “he’s the one most likely to get beat up in a parking lot,” while tom verlaine is standing RIGHT THERE.
johnny thunders styling david johansen’s hair for the first time and kind of decorating everyone and when david bowie went to new york for the first time he asked johansen who did his hair and he said “johnny thunders.” and then we all know what happened
richard lloyd and tom verlaine sharing clothes but particularly the floral button up i’ve documented religiously here
this screenshot of johnny thunders from one of the movies he was in
richard hell and tom verlaine form television together originally called the neon boys. they don’t work out bcoz tom verlaine is a whiny bitch and richard hell is, also. so richard leaves and he joins up with john (what i’ll mostly be calling johnny thunders in this post) and jerry nolan (who i hate), who had just split from the new york dolls against john’s will to form the heartbreakers.
richard hell decided Hey I Should Have All The Creative Control In The Heartbreakers. john was mostly fine with how things were, but jerry convinced him via heroin and false promises that they deserved the control. so jerry/john are like Hey I Should Have All The Creative Control In The Heartbreakers. so they meet up and they both say “I Should Have All The Creative Control In The Heartbreakers” and they go Oh.
no one is mad they peacefully split up and both release amazing records separately they’re just all fucking idiots
stiv bators dying by hanging at least twice in public
richard hell being extremely easy to get into bed and he would go down on girls in public for the price of 1 alcohol.
this ridiculous “IM WEIRD” monologue tom verlaine gave:
john & jerry stealing “chinese rocks” from dee dee ramone’s bag and recording it for LAMF behind his backs hence why it sounds nothing like a thunders penned track and has all the stylistic elements of a ramones song
joey ramone saying he used to wait all day glued to the radio listening to “bad music until something good comes on” and that thing was the beatles
richard hell staring as “the rawhide kid” in nick zedd’s “geek maggot bingo” and speaking in a horrible southern accent and dressed like a cowboy the entire time
tom verlaine is a cryptid
tom verlaine and patti smith’s poetry zine. it’s fun to try and figure out who wrote what. it’s also very beautiful.
johnny blitz (the dead boys) getting stabbed 17 times in a complete mistake incident
john saying “wayne may have tits now but he’s still an awesome guy” referring to jayne county. the original trans ally.
tom verlaine anxiously but jovially telling an interviewer that he’s skipped out on rent all year so far and that he “doesn’t know when the land lord is coming but he may have forgotten about me” and thinking about how he was just living off unemployment bcoz he deemed HIMSELF incompetent to work
richard lloyd not participating in rehearsals and tom yelling at him in this video “LLOYD!!!! LLOYD!!!!!” + richard hell bring entirely incompetent and useless “HUH? HUH? HA? NO?” + tom being the only useful member of this band. thank god for terry ork.
I Have to stop somewhere im sorry this all is mostly about television i have a lot to say about television
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Did DLS Out DD During a DDU Recording and Make Him Cry?
This has been making the rounds on Twitter and YouTube and even Tumblr, for a while now. Fancam footage of DLS making a boyfriend joke and then leaning in to a supposedly upset DD and trying to smooth things over.
This whole thing is based on fancam footage taken during the recording of the DDU 20190825 episode. In this episode dating was being discussed using four beautiful young women, DD and QF along with two handsome young guests as a backdrop.
The subtitles of the fan cam present a scenario where DLS supposedly refers to DD as ‘not needing a girlfriend because he already has a boyfriend’ and then leaning into a supposedly emotional DD and apologizing, trying to calm him down; saying viewers won’t understand what was said.
Let’s take a look at the video:
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The full fan cam footage that this out of context clip was taken from can be found here.
If you watch the episode and the complete fan cam footage, you’ll see that this happened during the segment where they were being asked to comment on various dating scenarios. An announcer would present each scenario in a multiple choice format, asking the women to choose between four options based on the type of guy they’d most like to date. For example:
How would you like the boy you like to invite you for a meal on the weekend?
A] Save your weekend for me. Do not say no.
B] You had breakfast at 7:50 this morning and lunch at 12:30. It’s already 7pm now. You have to eat meals on time. Why don’t I take you out for dinner?
C] I tried to explain my thoughts when I look at you, but I failed. So do you have time for dinner with me this weekend? Let’s talk about it.
D] Get out. Dinner.
My opinion
We should always, always be suspicious of anything that is presented without context. 99.9% of the time, when someone removes context they are doing so to mislead audiences. This clip is a perfect example of that. The video creator appears to have removed important context in order to make the clip better fit the narrative they’re trying to sell.
In this segment of the episode, the hosts and guests were seen commenting on the options as they were being read out. The comments DLS is making appear to be in response to something the announcer has said. I don’t think the comments have anything whatsoever do to with DD.
I also don’t think DD looks even remotely upset. Certainly not near tears. Some fans seem over-eager to claim DD is crying. We’ve all seen DD cry, but it’s exceptionally rare and only happens in very personal situations. This doesn’t qualify. It wouldn’t qualify even if everything the video creator claimed was true. DD would be more likely to get angry than cry in such a situation. He isn’t doing either of these things.
Whoever made this video simply doesn’t ‘get’ DD’s personality at all. The people who buy this are similarly unfamiliar with him.
I invite everyone to use your own eyes and your own judgment. Ignore what’s being claimed, ignore the framing you’ve been given of the scenario by me or the video creator, and instead just watch the clip. Does that look like a man on the verge of tears to you?
Second and third opinions
I asked the indispensable @potteresque-ire and @knivescharade what they thought of the clip. I didn’t tell them anything about my opinion, but simply sent the clip and asked their thoughts - are the subtitles correct, what do you think of the lip reading, etc.
@knivescharade
wow, for this person to put this analysis in i would say that lip reading is a very difficult skill. and to try and lip read someone like DLS, who speaks like a bullet train and doesn't really enunciate SUPER well (unlike Han-ge, for example) ... i would say the interpretation is only very vaguely possible at best.
i know both the cand int fandom have a major something for how WYB keeps swallowing around XZ, but honestly. WYB tends to get throat issues. i think swallowing has become one of his habits at this point. so... in conclusion... there are already lots of major, amazing, and irrefutable candies in the fandom already, let's not bother with such iffy ones :D
he is indeed saying that "this man has a boyfriend", but i cant quite remember which part of the show that was in. i watched that episode, it was something to do with love and having 4 guys paired with 4 girls or something like that, and listening to 'types of guys responses to etc etc' so DLS wasnt saying that WYB has a boyfriend - he was saying that 'this man', the one whose voice was playing in the audio, has a boyfriend.
That tracks with my interpretation of what was happening.
@potteresque-ire
Unless people have learned the dialect, Mandarin speakers cannot understand Cantonese, and vice versa. This is why I don't support or wash auditory candies, especially if it involves someone from Northern China (such as DLS, who is a Beijing native). Their local accents make their Mandarin even more difficult to understand.
This dialect restriction is actually not specific to a me, or other Hong Kongers. Someone whose family is entirely from Northern China would be equally prone to making mistakes if they're asked to lip read southern Chinese.
Lip reading also removes tonal consideration, which makes everything that much more uncertain. Have you heard of the Mr Shi Eats the Lion story? This is why, even if I hear some similarities, I'd hesitate to say X has to be saying ABC. Context is important.
Cantonese speakers are especially picky about tone. Mandarin have 4. We have 6 or 9, depending on who you ask. So... I may be more picky than I should be that way too. And I don't want to spoil anyone's fun 😊
The translation was correct in the sense that it was faithful to the Chinese words in the clip I saw, which replicated what DLS said accurately. But the video itself was from a fancam. Where that fancam happened (and got cut off) was at Q3 at the Q & A segment, starting ~9:34 of the official YouTube clip.
DLS said what he said half way through the voiceover of Option A (very precisely, right after the words "I'm the only one"). Technically speaking, therefore, he wasn't talking about DD.
However, it was also a little strange why DLS said what he said. If you watch that segment, all options have a certain personality attached to them. C was very talkative / pretentious. D was connected to DD because it was blunt and direct. A was the so called "overbearing CEO" personality... which is common in het romance dramas but isn't one that has been connected to the gay stereotype. And so, DLS's timing of saying that ... is curious.
Dd did look a little ... I wouldn't say upset, but tense after DLS said that. Maybe it's because that comment kinda came out of nowhere (because of its curious timing), and so it would be read as hinting at something. But that comment is harmless, wording wise.
Alternate theory
I’ve seen some talk from fans about a different theory for why DLS said what he said. Fans say the announcer for option A was Bian Jiang, the actor who did the voice of LWJ in The Untamed. They say that DLS was making a joke about LWJ not needing a boyfriend because he already has one. That actually makes a lot of sense to me as well, and if that’s really Bian Jiang, then I’d say that’s the most likely explanation for this entire thing.
Conclusion
It’s my firm opinion that DLS was not talking about DD having a boyfriend, nor was DD ‘near tears’ in this clip. Whatever DLS said to DD after that, it almost certainly wouldn’t have been ‘words of comfort to placate an upset DD’.
The Bian Jiang theory fits best, but we don’t need to know why DLS said what he said to be able to conclude he wasn’t talking about DD.
Cute DD candy from this episode
If anyone wants a better candy from this episode, look no further than when he emerges from “door #2″, chosen by one of the women as someone she’d like to date based on the food he’d picked out, and immediately launches into “I want to take a man back to my place and hide him.” A LWJ reference (which DLS and Wang Han clarify with him because they appear baffled by what he just said), but still a tactful, perfect rejection of this woman he’s being paired with. 😅
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Lovable Rogue - TV Soap (Australia), April 21, 2003
by: Anke Hofmann
Much of Shanghai Knights star Owen Wilson's success can be attributed to his roguish youth
If Shanghai Knights' Owen Wilson wasn't expelled from school at the age of 16, who knows where he'd be now.
"It was at a very strict, all-boys prep school," explains the 34-year-old Texan. "I wasn't very good in geometry when my friends and I had gotten the answer book. So we were handing in problems for extra credit.
"The teacher called me into his office and asked me to do one of the problems and, of course, I had no idea. They wanted to get rid of me anyway because I was always misbehaving.
"Now I'm glad it happened as it set off a chain of events that led me to meet Wes (Anderson) who became my writing partner (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums). So I don't have any regrets."
Now Wilson is one of Hollywood's hottest talents. His latest offering is the sequel to Shanghai Noon in which he rejoins Hong Kong action hero Jackie Chan.
Wilson reprises the role of Texan outlaw Roy O'Bannon, an insecure gunfighter with an eye for the ladies. Chan plays Chon Wang (pronounced John Wayne), the honorable martial arts cowboy. The mismatched duo is on the trail of Chinese rebels who murdered Chon's estranged father.
Despite their successful on-screen chemistry, they didn't get off on the best foot. "We met for dinner before shooting the first movies," recalls Wilson. "We didn't have much to say to each other. After about 10 minutes it was so awkward I excused myself. Once we were on the set though, we hit it off and had a really good relationship."
Wilson didn't think twice about making Shanghai Knights. "Knowing Jackie better allowed more freedom to indulge in crazy ideas, and the movie reflects that."
What he does best is comedy. Currently he's working on a film version of '70s TV cop show Starsky & Hutch, in which he plays Hutch (originally played by David Soul). The movie will reunite Wilson with friend and fellow mirth-meister Ben Stiller. "As I remember the show, it was funny but it wasn't a spoof. Those guys were cool, like an early Miami Vice. We're still figuring out the right tone for it."
Wilson fell for Hollywood only at second sight. The first visit was while attending the University of Southern California. "I didn't really enjoy being in LA then. I didn't know many people and was homesick for Texas.
"When I came back to start working on movies, I went with Wes and my brothers (Luke and Andrew). That made a big difference. I'm still with the same group of people. No matter how successful you get, you can always use support."
While Wilson's brother Luke also has a hot career (Legally Blonde, Charlie's Angels) the brothers remain close. "Yeah, closer than I'd like," laughs Wilson.
"Luke lives with me. He has his own house, but hasn't felt the need to move into it. Actually it's fun to have him around. It's nice to have somebody to share the excitement about something you're working on."
Wilson, whose credits include Zoolander, Behind Enemy Lines and Meet The Parents, never imagined he'd be an actor, "but I imagined it would be nice to be a writer", he says.
"When Wes and I wrote the Bottle Rocket script, Wes had to convince me to act in it. I wanted to get real actors because I felt it would reek of amateur night if my brothers and I were in it. So I sort of fell into acting, but really enjoyed it."
Now the middle Wilson sibling wants to spread his wings. "I'd like to try some straight, serious thing, but I'd be a little nervous. I can't do accents or change my voice - my fear is that a real actor can transform himself."
But he underestimates himself. When it comes to women, his Shanghai Knights' persona is nothing like the real Wilson, a laid-back, surfer-dude kinda guy.
Well, every once in a while I can turn it on," he smiles. "It just depends. The idea for me growing up was to be in a rock 'n' roll band like Led Zeppelin or Guns 'n' Roses because it seemed those guys always got the girls. That was this character's idea about being an outlaw; easy money and lots of chicks."
The actor has been linked to musician Sheryl Crow, but is still looking for Miss Right. "I don't have one particular girl I'm going out with. First, you have to find them pretty. Then comes the other stuff, like if you're simpatico sense of humor-wise and if you're interested in the same thing."
For now, Wilson's settling for puppy love. "My dog's name is Garcia. I named him after the surfer Sonny Garcia and the Mexican restaurant, Joe T Garcia. He's an Australian blue heeler and he's over a year old now.
"He has a lot of energy, the Jackie Chan kind. He and Garcia really hit it off." Which is why Wilson doesn't subscribe to the theory that pets reflect their owner's personality.
"He's a little out of control right now. He reflects Jackie's personality more and that's probably why he spent more time in Jackie's trailer than
he did in mine."
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Youtube Resources
Here are some channels i follow on youtube for listening practice, culture stuff, or for learning lol i’m always open for recommendations and enjoy watching videos of people doing stuff in the language instead of just teaching it to me
Korean
YTN News- Korean News Channel
Edward Avila- I follow him for makeup but he will have people that speak korean on his channel and korean subs (but not on all videos i think)
Jumi ơi Hàn Quốc- She is korean learning vietnamese and will speak in korean and have korean subs
Beom E 범이-He is korean learning vietnamese and speaks in korean and (i think) has korean subs (i also think he just went in the military so it might be a while for new videos)
Prof. Yoon's Korean Language Class - he has reading practice and he teaches grammar
MasterTOPIK- pretty self explanatory lol but it’s stuff to help study for the TOPIK
꿀키honeykki- a cooking channel. no talking but korean subs
박막례 할머니 Korea Grandma - not sure how to describe this channel besides it’s just a grandma doing stuff lol i actually made her recipe for the cold noodles and it was good
Cooking tree 쿠킹트리-a cooking channel. no talking but korean subs
Japanese
KemushiChan ロレッタ- Probably everyone knows this channel if you’re studying japanese, but loretta lives in japan and talks about life there and more lol. japanese subs and she speaks in japanese often.
Watercolor by Shibasaki - this is my favorite channel by far and i recommend everyone watch this even if you aren’t studying japanese (he provides english subs) but this is a kind grandfather that teaches you how to do watercolor. speaks in japanese and also has japanese subs
まーるちゃんねる - I watch her for animal crossing content
꿀키honeykki- a cooking channel. no talking but japanese subs
Cooking tree 쿠킹트리-a cooking channel. no talking but japanese subs
日本語の森- one of my favorite channels for self studying japanese
JunsKitchen- probably another channel most people are familiar with even if you’re not studying japanese, but he lives in japan with his (american?) wife and they have another channel, but i’m not subscribed to it (jun and rachel i think is the name) he speaks a lot of english but has japanese subs.
happyknittingmama/ハピママ- if you’re interested in knitting here’s a good channel lol
일본 서예가 다쿠미 - idk why his name is in korean? but he’s a japanese man that does calligraphy and writing
Learn Japanese- an older channel (that i’m not sure if it posts now) and i’ll be honest (i didn’t watch many of his videos lamo) but he does have a lot of anime stuff if people are into that
三本塾Sambon Juku - this guy is great, i found out about him because of Loretta, but he teaches you japanese fully in japanese. i think he’s a japanese language teacher in real life as well
meetang &co. - if you’re into crochet this channel is great
Chinese (Mandarin)
Evany Carr - this is a new channel i just found (like two days ago) but i really enjoy her content so far. i know she has one video where she’s speaking entirely in chinese, but she has some good learning tips and introduced me to other chinese youtube channels
杰里德Jared- one of the channels Evany recommended, and i have enjoyed what i watched. another new one for me, but it’s a foreigner that has lived in china for 10(?) years and almost all his videos are in mandarin (i think again i haven’t watched all of them lol)
Yoyo Chinese-the first chinese youtube channel i followed and then did nothing about that The lady teaches chinese and i like it
李子柒 Liziqi- probably a channel you’re familiar with even if you don’t learn chinese, but this is a girl that basically hand makes, hand cooks everything from scratch. no talking but there are subs (or she writes it on the video itself i don’t remember)
Mandarin Corner- Evany recommended this channel and i won’t lie i haven’t watched any of these videos yet but it looks good and this is more of a teaching channel
小高姐的 Magic Ingredients- a cooking channel. she speaks in mandarin and there are chinese subs as well
Vietnamese
Learn Vietnamese with VietnamesePod101.com- here are my friends lol anyways i’ve talked about them before in another post. they have great free resources and i recommend this channel
Jumi ơi Hàn Quốc- She is korean learning vietnamese and will speak in vietnamese sometimes and have vietnamese subs
Beom E 범이-He is korean learning vietnamese and speaks in vietnamese sometimes and (i think) has vietnamese subs (i also think he just went in the military so it might be a while for new videos)
Learn Vietnamese With Annie - if you are studying vietnamese you most likely know this channel, but annie is a teacher that helps you learn the language
Learn Vietnamese With SVFF - this channel teaches you vietnamese with the southern accent
Tina Yong-i’m including this channel because she did 3 or 4 beauty videos in vietnamese, but she’s not really a language or vietnamese channel. i do really enjoy her videos so went ahead and included her
Sign Language (ASL)
Sign Duo- this is a new channel i follow and i love it. basically it’s two people showing videos of their life while using sign language
Sheena McFeely- this is an older channel (and idk if they post anymore) but this was a family that helped teach sign language
Bill Vicars-when i was in highschool taking sign language all of my teacher’s teaching material came from him (then i got a deaf teacher and the lesson plan changed but anyways he was basically how i learned sign language)
French
Easy French- They feature a lot of native speakers, and i believe all videos are in french
Comme une Française- Geraldine helps teach french
Spanish (Latin America)
De mi Rancho a Tu Cocina- A mexican grandma that teaches you how to cook in spanish
Miscellaneous
NativLang- a lingusitics channel?? idk he talks about different languages and what makes them up and where they originated from and similarities and differences to other languages. i enjoy it
시사북스 - okay this channel is completely in korean (with korean teachers) but they teach a lot of different languages (vietnames, spanish, japanese, english) and i really like it
Easy Languages- this channel is nice because they feature native speakers and they offer a lot of languages (polish, russian, etc) and if the language you’re looking for isn’t on this channel, it might have it’s own channel like the french does
Language Pod 101- again i highly recommend their youtube channels for whatever language you’re learning.
*I will update this as I find more stuff (always open to suggestions)
**please let me know if the links don’t work
***any corrections, comments, or constructive criticism welcome
#get ready for a bunch of tags#langblr#korean#japanese#chinese#vietnamese#asl#sign language#french#spanish#resources#youtube videos
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The modern nation-state informs our modern concept of distinct languages
Most people’s understanding of what a language is has a strong overlap with border of a nation. Our conception of the modern nation-state is part of the reason many people think this. When you go to Germany, people speak this thing called German. From the northern areas near Denmark to the southern areas near Austria, people share a system of speech. Then, when you cross the border into Austria. Something distinct happens with people’s speech. This is a huge oversimplification.
The overlap between language and national borders is relatively new in the grand scheme of things. Languages are extremely fluid things, and the borders between nations cannot match with the borders between languages. Sometimes, speakers can share a country but have a difficult time understanding each other. Other times, speakers that live 50 kilometers apart with an international border between them can understand each other perfectly. Language has no borders and does not care about our national boundaries.
Medieval Europe didn’t have “nations” and therefore “languages”
In history, humans mostly existed in groups of a few dozen, and it is likely that they couldn’t travel far before it became difficult to understand other group’s style of speech. With agriculture settling people down, many people could only understand the people only in the nearby towns. That meant you could understand the people in your village and maybe the nearby villages, but the farther you got, the weirder people spoke. They formed dialect continuums, where Person A can understand Person B, and Persona B can understand Person C, but Person C cannot understand Person A.
Dialect continuums are very typical of earlier agricultural societies. People didn’t travel far, so people only communicated to the people in the nearby villages if they ever left their villages. Nation-states as we know them did not exist, but the language people spoke were no more or less fluid because language has no borders.
Like most things, Louis XIV started this whole thing
The surprising progenitor of a quite few of our modern trends, Louis XIV of France consolidated his nation-state, and he had to therefore consolidate the language spoken, which was less intelligible across his whole realm.
Ever since classical Rome, the descendants of those speaker slowly diverged more and more. In a process similar to biological evolution, isolated populations slowly start to build up speech changes that accumulate over time until groups that once had been speakers of the same language become totally unintelligible. As such, people in the south of Louis’s kingdom spoke something quite distant from his own language. As such, consolidation of legal codes and the erasure of local traditions was part of the process of building a stronger centralized state. Where there once was spoken Occitan or Catalan, French was slowly encouraged and local varieties discouraged. This new nation-state needed to spread the idea that your way of speech is not just another descendant of Vulgar Latin; you are speaking French wrong.
The current organization of our world with nation-states having unique cultures, which include language, is a very new concept in relation to history. Tom Nicholas made a great video on the history of the nation-state. The creation of the modern world with of rights and the public sphere and nations defined by shared features led to this new era of language where languages need to be carefully defined and maintained. Therefore, to create a nation meant to manufacture a standard variety of the language where there were only vaguely related dialects before.
Germany and Italy, late to the nation party, were also late to the language party
French is pretty centralized, and English is pretty centralized. Therefore, most European languages experienced this, right? If we look at the later members of the nation-state party, we’ll see their languages missed a large amount of time to centralize as well. Spain, Portugal, France, Russia, and Britain centralized earlier. Germany and Italy unified in the 19th century. You’ll notice that these languages have huge regional differences. That’s because they’ve only been united for around 5 generations. It takes a long time for languages to erase regionalisms. When these places have no borders, it is easier to understand the idea that language has no borders.
While people may speak German and Italian in everyday life, still a significant portion of the population might speak another intelligible language at home, that intelligibility being debatable depending on the language. A study by ISTAT in 2006 found that only 45.5% of Italians spoke only or mainly in Italian within the family.
This would be like Americans speaking American English at school and speaking Dutch at home. Italians are not a nation of immigrants. People didn’t move to the new nation of Italy; the new nation of Italy moved to the people. This tells us that, whether implicitly or explicitly, the public sphere and the participation in the nation-state encourages the abandonment of traditional local speech varieties.
Eastern European languages that did not have the same nation-building history do not have the same linguistic distinctions
If English and French have been successfully centralized, and Germany and Italian are partially on that path, Slavic languages show us the decentralized languages of Europe.
I speak Bulgarian at home. I don’t have an issue understanding anyone who was born within the borders of the Bulgarian Republic. One day, I was serving customers in my customer service job, and I heard some customers speak something I fully understood. They were discussing what coffee to buy. I butt into their conversation and said in Bulgarian, “Excuse me. Are you guys Bulgarian?” He then responded, “No, brother. Macedonian.”
He ordered fully in Macedonian, and I understood every word. Some vowels sounded different from what I was used to. When he said the number of his table, I did not understand him at all. Other than these exceptions, we communicated perfectly fine. In the same way that New Yorkers can communicate with Alabamans if both avoid some regionalisms, Bulgarians and Macedonians could communicate perfectly.
Because of historical forces that are way too complex to describe in a few paragraphs, the languages of Eastern Europe mostly did not experience the same nation-building projects that Louis XIV, Robert Walpole, or Otto von Bismarck brought to their countries. Eastern European nations switched from sphere of influence to sphere of influence, where each power influenced division rather than conscious assimilation to a greater nation. As such, Serbs can understand Croats, Slovaks can understand Czechs, and Bulgarians can understand Macedonians.
China shows us that languages can diverge for hundreds of years, but can be reunited under one dominant language in recent years
China has a similar situation to western Europe. Most of its languages (or “dialects”) descend from Middle Chinese, which was spoken in classical China. Those language diverged in isolated populations throughout the centuries to the point of being unintelligible. While many people may be within the boundaries of the nation, their speech is not identical because, again, language has no borders. To this day, the linguistic diversity in China is very impressive. However, government initiatives and advantages encourage the whole country to learn Mandarin. Recently, the Chinese version of Tiktok gave 10 minute bans to some creators for using Cantonese during livestreams. While people can still speak their local language on the street and at home, there is a trend that local varieties are disappearing from some systemic disadvantages. Younger generations are speaking Mandarin more and their local varieties less.
Looking at China, we can see how diverging languages can again converge into one of the sibling descendants. The European equivalent would be western Europe to lose their local varieties of Catalan, Occitan, Portuguese, Spanish, etc. in favor of French. This is a unique position because the abandoned and adopted languages are related. Speakers bring the local accent and some vocab preferences because there are some parallels.
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Warrior Season 2 Episode 3 Review: Not How We Do Business
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This Warrior review contains spoilers.
Warrior Season 2 Episode 3
“Not How We Do Business” sums up the latest episode of Warrior in two ways. First, it’s a line that Zing (Dustin Nguyen) lays on O’Hara (Kieran Biew) when he finally breaks away from being a debt collector for the Fung Hai. “Not how we do business” also works on a meta level, this episode only has one Kung Fu fight. That’s weak for a Bruce Lee inspired show. There are two other fight scenes, but they’re scrappy brawls the likes of which can be found in any action drama.
Bruce Lee fans want Kung Fu, and not just any Kung Fu. As part of the Little Dragon’s legacy, it must be great Kung Fu. The lone Kung Fu scene in this episode is good and serves to introduce a pivotal new character, but that’s not enough. It’s not how we do business.
This episode begins with a missed opportunity where Ah Sahm (Anthony Koji) is in the Barbary Coast Fight Pit, facing off against another challenger. That would be great, but the fight is already over. The opening shot focuses upon his burly challenger, but he has already been knocked out and is just standing stunned, then there’s a shot of Ah Sahm, and then the challenger falls.
Seriously? No Kung Fu? Starting in the Fight Pit is fine dramatically but shortchanging the audience out of a fight is not the way to go for this show. It’s a big ripe piece of low hanging fruit left to rot. Bruce Lee fans crave gratuitous Kung Fu. Whenever Warrior goes to the Fight Pit, there had better be a fight.
After that, Ah Sahm’s fight manager Vega (Maria-Elena Laas) teases him with the promise of a bigger purse in some other international arena, a place where Warrior will hopefully go at some point this season, but not in this episode. Chao (Hoon Lee) pulls Ah Sahm aside and implies that he knows about the molasses plot that he and Young Jun (Jason Tobin) are cooking up, and that he’s concerned over Ah Sahm’s rivalry with Mai Ling (Dianne Doan). Chao comments “I don’t see any version of that ending well” which comes as no surprise to anyone. If this all ended well, there’d be no fight scenes.
Enter Hong – the New Guy in the Hop Wei
The centerpiece of the episode is the introduction of a new character, Hong (Chen Tang). Chen Tang just portrayed Yao in the new Mulan. In the original Disney animated film, Yao was Mulan’s hard ass comrade, and in contrast, he’s the shortest character (unless you count Mushu and Cri-Kee). The live action Mulan changed a lot – Yao was still the hard ass, but now he’s 6 feet tall and a less significant role. Nevertheless, Chen is a great addition to Warrior, exuding a southern charm because he was raised in Memphis and has a natural southern accent in real life, but he covers that up for Warrior.
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TV
Warrior Season 2 Episode 1 Review: Learn to Endure, or Hire a Bodyguard
By Gene Ching
Hong arrives ‘fresh off the boat’ with a batch of new recruits, hatchet men ordered from China by Father Jun (Perry Yung). Their appearance makes Young Jun nervous that Father Jun might be on to his non-Chinese molasses scheme. He’s also suspicious of Hong’s attempts to weasel his way in with them. Nonetheless, Young Jun and Ah Sahm agree to take Hong to a brothel. There Ah Sahm discovers Hong is gay but sympathetically keeps that secret.
After that, the threesome stumble across some Fung Hai gangsters in the streets and Hong, either eager to impress or just hungry to kick some ass, takes them all out by himself. It’s a good introduction and reveals his expertise with whip chain. A whip chain is a traditional Chinese weapon, one that can be easily concealed as a trusty everyday carry for a Tong man. Chen Tong delivers a decent first fight scene with it. As weapons go, the whip chain requires more skill to wield than a nunchaku. Hong deploys both the whip chain’s striking and entangling methods proficiently, although the scene is in a dark alley and the shadows can conceal a multitude of sins. Chen Tong lists skills in Stage Combat, Karate, Kung Fu and Tai Chi on his resume and claims he did some preparation for the role of Hong studying Chinese whip chain and the Japanese equivalent manriki-gusari.
One of the best things about Warrior is the relationship between Ah Sahm and Young Jun. They have an earnest chemistry as two gangsters being gangsters, delivering beat downs, slinging molasses, and chasing sticky. This camaraderie is commonplace for buddy films and TV partners but it’s exceedingly rare and delightfully refreshing to see this for two Asian men in a Western production. Both Ah Sahm and Young Jun have a lot to prove and their connection is palpable. Hong brings a new lighter tone as the third wheel to their partnership. They already seem to be bonding as a threesome which is promising for the rest of the season.
In the Room Where It Happens
Mai Ling (Dianne Doan) and Li Yong (Joe Taslim) pay a visit to the Fung Hai lair so she can scold Zing (Dustin Nguyen). Walking into Zing’s room is a gutsy move for Mai Ling, but with Li Yong at her side, she’s fearless. Zing agrees to Mai Ling’s terms, but not before she shares a ritual drink of mare’s milk with him. Mare’s milk, or Kumis, is a unique fermented drink because few alcoholic beverages are dairy derived. It’s usually not that strong, nor is it the disgusting chunky chowder depicted in Warrior but the Mongols are stereotyped as barbarians, just as they were in Mulan, so it’s depicted as revolting. Mongolians are poorly represented in film and television. Project their media depictions upon any other race and the generally disparaging tone is evident.
On the way out, a Fung Hai thug gets up in Li Yong’s face and gets throat punched for his trouble. Don’t mess witjj Li Yong. Knowing Li Yong could destroy his crew, Zing calls off his man saying “Be thankful for your pain. It means you’re still alive.”
Much to Li Yong’s dismay, Mai Ling echoes this line towards the end of the episode, making him wonder if his boss is headed down the wrong path like Zing. While everyone in Warrior has their dark side, Zing has emerged as the villain with no redeemable qualities. Taslim brings a guarded nobility to Li Yong as Warrior’s most badass fighter; he’s loyal to Mai Ling, his lover and boss, but not blindly so. This, along with Taslim’s martial expertise, makes Li Yong one of the more intriguing characters. Mai Ling, like most of the rest of the cast, is another character with a lot to prove.
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TV
Warrior Episode 2 Review: There’s No China in the Bible
By Stephen Harber
Movies
Best Martial Arts Movies on Amazon Prime Right Now
By Gene Ching
Later, Zing, being the barbarous Mongol villain, threatens Chao (Hoon Lee) over delivering weapons. Chao, always the manipulator, discusses Zing with Mai Ling. Then later, Chao meets with Li Yong alone. Over bowls of noodles, Chao proposes a way to avoid war, teasing some coming intrigue to take Zing down. Everyone is aligning against Zing and the anticipation of this inevitable showdown is promising.
Sophie (Celine Buckens) sneaks into Leary’s (Dean Jagger) back room at the Banshee and finds his map of factories that use coolies. While she’s smart enough to realize that Leary is behind the factory firebombing, she somehow overlooks that Mercer Steel has got to be among those circled on that map too. Clearly her sister’s company is on the Irish workers hit list because they were beating up the coolies headed to Mercer until Penny (Joanna Vanderham) hired the Hop Wei for protection against them. Sophie and Leary finally hook up and Leary unwittingly echoes Chao saying, “This isn’t going to end well.” By now, the audience is well aware it’s not going to end well and has their collective fingers crossed that it will end in a massive Kung Fu fight at the very least.
As they have a post-coital stroll, Sophie suggests that Leary get into politics with a nod to Hamilton by suggesting he should “be in the room where it happens.” Leary calls Sophie out when she says she “knows.” She’s an entitled upper-class woman and hasn’t seen the tragedy that Leary has. He tells Sophie of some of the horrors he witnesses, of friends and family starving, and starts to pull away from her until she draws him back. It gives Leary more context.
Given the era, Leary likely escaped the Great Irish Famine (1945-1849). Over a quarter million Irish emigrated to the New World and Leary would be part of that generation. The Irish are struggling too. During that period, Irish immigrants made up most of San Francisco’s working class and about one-third of the city’s population. This is another way Warrior sheds light upon a dark period of history.
Police Beatdowns
The other two fight scenes come from the cops. The first is short. Lee (Tom Weston-Jones) returns to Nora’s (Gaosi Raditholo) tavern where he got rolled last episode to exact revenge. He goes full copper, night-sticking and shooting up the joint until he gets his cash back. With Lee, Weston-Jones is echoing his role as Kevin “Corky” Corcoran, in his previous TV show Copper. Corky was an Irish detective in a period drama set in the late 18th century, the same era as Warrior. This is not so much of a bar fight as it is a cop taking out a few unarmed barflies.
When a debtor’s wife flashes a gratuitous boob at O’Hara, offering him sex to pay her husband’s bills to the Fung Hai, it’s the last straw and he finally quits the Fung Hai. Even though O’Hara has repaid his debt, Zing exacts revenge by sending Tong men to invade his home and threaten his family. This happens right after dinner where Lee had been their guest. Lee comes to the rescue, revolver blazing, and a scrappy bit of violence ensues where O’Hara’s son and wife must defend themselves too. It’s a brutal sanguineous scene, leaving everyone dead or splattered with blood, ending this episode in a bloody mess.
Warrior Season 2 can be seen exclusively on CINEMAX.
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The post Warrior Season 2 Episode 3 Review: Not How We Do Business appeared first on Den of Geek.
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Adore: A Garvez Fic (Pt. 10/?)
Read the Previous Chapter here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13117133/8/Adore-A-GarVez-Fic
***
Author’s Note: Now that Garvez is canon and endgame, I have been inspired to start working on this fic again. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!
***
They had stayed in the park after the fundraising race had ended and their friends had said their goodbyes. They walked about slowly and enjoyed the warm day, and watching all the people having fun around them, but mostly they enjoyed each other's company. They had been laughing and talking about everything that had come to their minds. Whenever other runners came across their path they would hurriedly step aside, huddling together to the grassy side of the graveled path. When a small group of women ran by them, all eyeing Alvez appreciatively while ignoring Garcia's presence entirely, Alvez noticed how Garcia would distance herself from where she had been walking right at his side. He frowned up a bit at her sudden coldness towards him. After a moment to reflect he realized where it was coming from. So, when Alvez noticed that same group of women had done a U-turn and were coming back through the path he made it a point to stop in the middle of the path. He grasped Garcia's hand, lifted it and placed a kiss across her knuckles. He then pulled her flush against his chest and kissed her lips slowly, deeply, and sweetly, while the group of women ran around them. For a moment they had both gotten lost in the feel and taste of the other. They finally pulled back with a sated sigh falling from both of their lips.
"Wow," She spoke as a bashful smile graced her face. "What was that for?" She continued as she bowed her head a bit to avoid his eyes, but he was having none of it. He reached down, cupped her face in both of his hands, and made her focus up at him.
"That was to show you how much I want to be here with 'you'," He answered. "I want you, no one else. Those women could run pass here completely naked and I still wouldn't give them any regard," He proclaimed and Garcia arched her brow to challenged his words. "Okay, not in any sexual or romantic regard," He corrected with a smile. "But I am an officer of the law so I would have to arrest them for being indecent. Look, I don't know about all of the past relationship you've been in but I can promise that I am nothing like any of those guys, so please don't compare me to them. Or judge me and our relationship by what may have happened to you in the past, okay?"
"Okay," Garcia agreed with a nod. "I will try and I'm sorry … It's just that," She paused as she dropped her eyes to the ground and took a deep sigh. "Guys that look like you don't usually go for the girls that look like me."
"Says who?"
"Says every guy I have ever met who looks like you," She replied.
"Well they were all stupid fools," Alvez declared. "And for your information, I find voluptuous women sexy as hell."
"Oh really, so you have only ever asked out plump women?"
"No, not just," He answered. "I have been attracted to a variety of women of all shapes, sizes, and color. And I've never excluded a woman because she's, as you put it, 'plump'," He defended. "Look, Penelope, I think you have a beautiful bangin' body but it's not the only thing that attracted me to you. I mean, yeah, initially it was. I did try desperately not to gawk when this gorgeous blonde bombshell shared the elevator with me on my first day. But then I got to know her, though she tried her damnedest to keep me at arm's length. I fell in love not just with your body, but also that genius mind of yours, your deliciously wicked wit, as well has your humongous kind heart," Garcia stood silently staring up at him with her mouth agape and a shocked look on her face. "Yeah, you heard me right," Alvez continued as he gripped his hands securely about her waist. "I've fallen in love with you, and it's okay if you don't feel the same or-"
"I've fallen in love with you too," She quickly cut in and her words brought a relief within Alvez and a wide smile to his lips.
"So, I guess that would make us an official couple then?" Alvez questioned still not wanting to over step any boundaries with her, but he truly wanted to know.
"All the things we did last night and part of the morning pretty much made it official, Luke," Garcia proclaimed and his smile simply widened at this news.
"Good to know," He said with a nod as he turned her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and moved them back along the path they were on. "How about we head back to your place and make it official some more?"
"Race you to the car," She said around a giggle and then took off at full speed. Alvez took off after her and although he knew he could have beaten her, he was enjoying the view too much to try.
The next work day:
The team had finally wrapped up a local case they had been working on for over a week, and hoped they would get a few days of doing just some mundane desk work before some new case came in to take them across the country.
"So, who's up for drinks? My treat," Rossi offered as they all stood around the desks in the bullpen.
"I'm down," Tara was the first to reply. "It's been awhile since we got to get out of here during normal hours, plus free drinks, yay," She joked as the others, save Prentiss, laughed and nodded in agreement.
"I'm in too," JJ chimed in. "Will and the boys are still visiting his family in New Orleans until tomorrow."
"I can't, sorry," Reid said as he stood and started to pack up his bag to leave. "I have a couple of visitation hours remaining today and so I am going to go see my mom."
"Send her my love and remind her that I will be coming this Wednesday so we can work on our knitting," Garcia said as she rested her backside against Alvez's desk as he sat in his chair beside her.
"I will, she really enjoys and looks forward to your visits," He stated. "Goodnight," Reid then made his way to the exit.
"All right, that's three of us so far, since Prentiss has an evening meeting with the director," Rossi said. "So, how about you two?" He then looked to Garcia and Alvez.
"I can't either," Garcia replied. "I still have work to do here."
"What work?" Alvez asked as he frowned up a bit. He was disappointed as he had hoped she was turning down hanging out to spend some alone time with him. "We wrapped our case already."
"Oh, newbie," She teased and he couldn't contain the smile that spread across his face at hearing the word he had confessed to her would slightly arouse him whenever she said it. "Do you really think I am only at your beck and call? I am an 'FBI' technical analyst, and I help all departments with my skills. So, when any agent needs my help I am at their service."
"Oh, I like the sound of that, Belle," A male voice with a southern drawl and a hint of a Cajun accent, boomed from behind where they stood chatting. "So, does that mean 'any' services I need help with?" He added with a wink and a smile. Both Tara and JJ giggled a little as they were familiar with this agents' antics, but more so they were laughing at the sour look that was on Alvez's face in that moment.
"Only if they're work-related services, Agent Broussard," Garcia replied as she pushed herself from Alvez's desk.
"Well, a man can still dream, right, Cherie?" Agent Broussard asked with a charming smile.
"Yes, and it also saves me the trouble of telling you, "only in your dreams'," She threw back at him as she smiled playfully at him.
"Oh, how you wound me," He said dramatically as he raised one of his hands which held 2 drinks up to his chest. "And I had even brought you dinner and drinks to woo you," He added as he raised the other hand to show what looked to be a bag of Chinese takeout and Garcia, Tara, and JJ all giggled and shook their heads slightly to his antics. Alvez's current scowl instantly turned into a hard glare as he looked at this slightly younger man who appeared to be his same height and build.
"Hey, I'm working off hours just to help you out, so feeding me is the least you could do, sir," Garcia stated as she moved to where he stood. "Let's go to my office. The sooner we start the sooner we can get it done," He bowed dramatically at her as she stopped at his side and again, she giggled. Besides Morgan, Broussard had been the only other agent who would openly flirt with her. Unlike Morgan she was sure that Broussard meant every word and that it wasn't just banter to him. If given the chance he would happily act upon every lewd innuendo he spoke to her. But she also knew of the many rendezvouses he had had with several female agents which made Garcia steer clear of him. She didn't mind the flirting and easy banter, but she never let it venture into a personal realm as she had with Morgan. As they moved to the exit Alvez quickly moved from his seat.
"Hey Penelope," He called out to her purposely using her first name as he hurried over to her. She stood just on the other side of the glass door that she held open while she waited for him. "I'm going to be working down here late anyway, so just call me when you get done. We can grab some snacks, head to my place tonight, and watch a movie," A Cheshire cat grin graced her lips as she quickly nodded her head.
"Okay," She said as she gazed adoringly up at him, both were so engrossed in the other that everyone and everything else seemed to fade away, until Agent Broussard who had stood a few feet outside of the door cleared his throat a little. "Oh, right, uhm … Well, what I have to do to help Agent Broussard shouldn't take more than an hour or two. I can just come back down here when we're done."
"All right, I'll be here waiting for you," Alvez stated as he shot a glance to the man standing behind her just before he swooped in and placed a quick chaste kiss on her lips.
"Luke, we agreed not at work," She chastised him in a lowered voice even though the pleased look and smile never left her face.
"Technically, we are off work now so it's okay," He offered as he tossed her a wink. She silently nodded and then walked out and continued on her way with Agent Broussard. Alvez stood at the door watching them for a moment.
"So, exactly when did that start?" Rossi questioned as he arched a brow at JJ and Tara.
"Oh, I think just this past weekend," JJ answered with a smile as she watched Alvez who was making his way back to them.
"Damn, I owe Prentiss twenty bucks," Rossi said around a chuckle.
"Wait you and Prentiss had a bet running on when Garcia and Alvez would hook up?" Tara asked.
"Say what, now?" Alvez chimed in as he now stood back at his desk.
"Well, yeah, watching you two sometimes is like watching softcore porn," Rossi claimed and the ladies nodded their heads in agreement and Alvez chuckled at this news. "We knew it would eventually explode into something more hardcore, but I was thinking in another couple of years, but Prentiss was sure you two wouldn't last out the year," He ended with a shrug. "Oh well, ladies, shall we?" He moved in between where they stood at their desks and held out his arms to them. With a smile they each looped one of their arms in his and allowed him to move them to the exit. "Goodnight, Luke."
"Night," Both Tara and JJ said in unison.
"Goodnight and have fun, but not too much, we're back at it first thing in the morning," Alvez said as he watched his friends and co-workers walk out. He then turned with a sigh and started working on some paperwork. All the while his mind kept drifting to Garcia and Broussard, as he thought about what they were doing alone in her office.
Later that night:
"Mmhmm … it would … mmm … work better if you … hmm … stopped kissing and groping me," She panted out around his tasteful and near mind numbing kisses.
"But … mhm … you taste and feel … mmm … mmm … too damn good," He replied and then latched his mouth back against hers while his hands caressed and squeezed at her body, which he had pinned to his locked front door.
"Mr. Alvez," The screechy voice of an elderly woman snapped the lovers back to reality and they quickly jumped apart.
"Mrs. Torres," He replied as he wiped at his lips as if trying to hide the evidence of what they had been doing.
"You should be a shame of yourself young man, carrying on like that in the halls. There are children in this building, you know. And young lady you should have more self-respect and self-control," Mrs. Torres said as she shifted her eyes from Alvez to Garcia, and Garcia bowed her head a bit under the other woman's heavy gaze.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Torres. I promise it won't happen again," Alvez rambled out as he made quick work of unlocking his door and pushing it open. He ushered Garcia inside first.
"You see that it doesn't," They heard the older woman speak out as they crossed the threshold and shut the door behind them. Alvez, quickly locked the door and then rested his back against it as if afraid Mrs. Torres would come through to get them. He watched Garcia's back as she stood slightly hunched over with her head down. "I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to embarrass you," He began to apologize but then heard Garcia's soft laughter and noticed how her shoulders shook from it. A smile instantly spread across his face when she finally turned to face him with the hugest smile on her own face. "Well, I'm glad you think it's funny. Mrs. Torres met my mother the first time she visited me, and they have become great friends ever since. She's probably home calling my mother right now to let her know her niñito was accosting some woman in the hallway," He chuckled out though he was being serious. He reached into his pocket, grasped his phone, and shut it off before he tossed it on the table by the door. He didn't want their night interrupted by a call from his mother which he was sure was on its way, thanks to Mrs. Torres.
"First we get busted by a cop and now your elderly neighbor," Garcia giggled out. "And why are you so ravenous all of a sudden, that you couldn't wait until we got inside?" She questioned as she regarded him with a smile.
"Because I have a gorgeous and sexy girlfriend," He answered as his eyes involuntarily raked over her form appreciatively, which brought a deep blush to her cheeks.
"And it had nothing to do with Remy?" She continued and he frowned up a bit in confusion and the look made her rephrase the question. "Agent Broussard."
"Oh, Agent 'Remy' Broussard, is it? Alvez countered. "So, you two are on a first name basis?
"Oh my God, are you jealous, Luke?" Garcia questioned him in a teasing fashion.
"What? Hell, no," He spat out unconvincingly. "Should I be?" He asked and his insecurity shown through his demeanor and tone.
"No, you shouldn't be because I only have eyes for you," She said with a more serious tone that she hoped spoke to how true she was being with him in that moment. He smiled and nodded his understanding. "But I have to tell you, you kind of suck at the whole sneaking around and making out stuff. I mean, c'mon, caught twice in one week," she went back to teasing him.
"Then I probably need to practice more," Alvez offered as he waggled his brows at her "Lots and lots of practice," He added as he rushed to her and enveloped her into his strong embrace. He traced his right hand that was grabbing her ass, up her back until he grasped the clasp of the zipper to her dress and pulled it down. Too impatient to get it all the way down, he quickly moved the same hand to her left shoulder and tugged down the top of the dress along with her hot pink satin bra strap. He then leaned down and latched his hot mouth over her left nipple before the cool air got the chance to chill it. He suckled her greedily as if she gave him nourishment to live.
"Luke," She gasped out as her eyes closed, her mouth fell open and her head back, while she gripped at the back of his head with her left hand. "God, that feels so good," She moaned out as her head fell forward and she rested her cheek against the top of his head while she snuggled him close to her bosom. When she noticed the familiar sound of a distant ringtone, she snapped her eyes open and shoved at Alvez to release her, which he was not too willing to do, and instead clutched at her more tightly. "Luke, let go, that's work calling," She hissed out and he instantly let her go, and she rushed to grab the phone from her purse that had been tossed to the floor with the bags of snacks they had bought.
Alvez stood silently watching as Garcia spoke with Prentiss. He raked his hands through his slightly tussled hair in slight frustration because he knew they had a case and they would have to likely put off their love making session. When she ended the call, Garcia turned to him again. "Let me guess we have a case, wheels up in 30, and I'll have to get a rain check on tonight?" He nearly grumbled out.
"Yes, we have a case. But wheels up in 1 hour, which gives you 10, 15 minutes tops to get us both to happy land," She replied as she arched a brow and smirked up at him. "Are you up for the challenge Agent Alvez?"
"Oh yeah, challenge accepted," He said with a sultry smile and a nod. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head and off his torso and then moved back to her. He already knew which technique he would use to give her a mind-blowing orgasm in under 3 minutes, which would leave them plenty of time to shower and head back into work.
More to come....
Read of FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13117133/9/Adore-A-GarVez-Fic
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dust...
i won’t be tagging anything except the member(s), asks, and epilepsy warnings. if you have any blacklisted tags that you’d like me to start tagging you can send an ask!
i won’t be keeping up with any new content. i’m not going to wake myself up at odd hours in the morning anymore skjdfhdkfj. i’m really not sure what bts is even doing right now??????? if anyone wants to catch me up whew
i won’t be discussing old stuff that happened when i was really active here. i’m going to start with a clean slate, and we’ll see where this goes!
i won’t be completing any requests in a timely manner, but you’re welcome to submit something in my ask. the only thing is, i’ll only do requests if i feel like i want to, so no promises whatsoever!
holy hell thank you for 20k!!! i’m just happy to scream along with you guys hehe
anyways. i’m ju, i’m chinese & i’m almost always flying from china to the US and back. i have a southern accent when i’m nervous and i’ve changed a lot in recent months, hopefully for the better. let’s love & be happy!
#yeehaw#note#my icon is back to the iconic bread boi and it makes me really happy haha#SO I GUESS THIS IS ME SAYING IM GOING TO BE ACTIVE AGAIN#i need to set up a queue huhu
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Name 3 foods that you like that your mom doesn’t.
Peanut butter, lemon pepper boneless wings, and pesto pasta.
What flavor was the last popsicle you ate?
>> I can’t remember the last time I had a popsicle. <<< Me either.
Do you like mango?
I used to like dried mango with chili powder.
What was the last thing you got falsely accused of?
I don’t recall.
What was the last thing you ordered online?
Adidas leggings from Kohl’s.
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
My mom.
Have you ever been kicked out of a store?
No.
Which major holiday is your birthday closest to?
4th of July.
Do you use a sunlamp?
No.
When was the last time you cleaned your room?
I straightened up a bit recently.
Do you feel like you accomplished anything today?
No, but it’s only 3:42 in the morning. Although, let’s be real I’m not gonna be doing much of anything today.
Do you drink tea every day?
No. I haven’t had any tea since sometime last year.
What does caffeine do to you?
Takes the edge off when I have my first cup of coffee of the day. Doesn’t do shit in terms of giving me energy anymore. It’s also just comforting.
What’s a drink you have been loving lately?
I always love coffee. I genuinely love it, but I am also a caffeine addict.
What was your favorite Starbucks drink last summer?
I don’t have a favorite summer drink, I just go for my usual go-to’s. I like a few of their other seasonal drinks, though.
What is/was your favorite teen magazine?
I was a Tiger Beat, Bop, J-14, and CosmoGirl kind of gal.
What were you almost named?
My parents told me Andrea was a possible choice.
What would your name be if you had been born the opposite gender?
They said they liked the name Jesse.
Are you happy with your life right now?
No.
Do you ever feel jealous of others?
More envious.
When was the last time you had a fever?
Last year when I was super sick. I often feel warm, though. Not feverish, but just warm.
Do you normally get fevers when you’re sick?
Yeah.
Do you get the stomach flu every year?
No, but I did this year already. Hopefully that’s it.
Which symptom do you get more often when you’re sick: fever or vomiting?
Fever. It’s been a few years since I’ve thrown up.
What color hair would you have if you were a cartoon character?
Red.
Use 5 words to describe your dream wedding.
I don’t want to get married.
Would other people describe you as creative?
No.
Do you trust all of your facebook friends?
No.
Have you ever had a facebook friend betray you? a real-life friend betray you?
Real life friends, yes.
What color are your slippers?
I don’t have any.
Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin?
Paint.
What state do you want to visit next?
Hawaii.
If you had to live in another country for a year, which country would it be?
I don’t know... I’d have to really think about that and look into a few places.
Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you’ve said and done?
Yes. My mind doesn’t let me forget.
Did you like high school or college better?
College.
Who was your favorite Olsen twin?
I didn’t have a favorite one, but I was a fan of them both as a kid. I watched all their movies. And Full House, of course.
Are you part Irish?
I have some Irish. I really want to do one of those ancestry.com tests and see what I am exactly.
Do you ever listen to Celtic music?
No.
Do you wear slippers?
Nope.
Which accent do you like best?
British and some southern ones.
Tea or coffee?
Coffee.
What show did you want to be on when you were younger?
Barney.
Have you ever won a spelling bee?
I was never in one.
Were you one of the smartest in your class?
I always got A’s and B’s, but I still felt/feel just average.
Do you think it’s unfair that people less intelligent than you make more money than you?
Uh, wow...
Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people?
No.
Are you still waiting for the guy/girl of your dreams?
I’m not focusing on that. He’ll probably never come, though.
Do you enjoy being single?
It’s for the best.
Do you enjoy mornings?
No, I just enjoy having coffee.
Have you ever been to jail?
No.
Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like?
I’ve thought about what it would be like after watching Orange is the New Black. I wouldn’t survive.
Is the criminal justice system fair where you live?
I think most of us can agree that no, it’s not always fair.
Is your country’s government corrupt?
Power and greed are a powerful thing.
Do you ever meditate on Scripture and pray to God?
Yes.
Which do you like better: your Chinese zodiac sign or regular zodiac sign?
I don’t care about that stuff.
What are your zodiac signs (Chinese and regular)?
I’m a Leo. I don’t know what my Chinese one is.
Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek?
Nope.
Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school?
Yeah. I didn’t enjoy it.
Did you enjoy literature?
I love it.
What was your favorite book you had to read for school?
A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.
Do you stay up late?
It’s 4:04AM.
Will you let your kids have a youtube channel, do you think?
I don’t plan on having kids.
Have you ever owned a designer purse?
Yeah.
Do you like the taste of Tums?
>Blech, no. They made me gag.
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red light
my third contribution to the discord bingo event
blind! ohm, ohmtoonz drabble
prompt: “deaf/blind”
idea: messy meet-cute on the dangerously busy city streets where luke literally saves ryan’s life
1834 words
Retinal detachment. A condition with the eye caused by a head injury; a hard enough collision in which the individual then bleeds into their retina. It causes the retina to come loose which can be medically fixed if the individual is delivered to surgery with enough time. If not; it results in complete blindness in the affected eye.
For Ryan, all he needed was an unlucky night and the company of the wrong kind of people.
The bar fight started without him noticing, and escalated in seconds as the taller of the three quarreling men threw one of the others into an occupied table and chairs. The two bar patrons abandoned their drinks to stumble away from the fight. The third man was quick to jump in, grasping an empty chair and easily launching it towards the initiator.
Perhaps Ryan was just too tired to notice all the details as he watched carelessly with a sip of his beer. Fights weren’t uncommon in the bar, ending with a few bruises and embedded shards of glass.
It was no conscious decision for the smallest of the three to dodge towards where Ryan was perched on his bar stool, and tunnel-vision rage possessed the man who had picked up the impromptu weapon by the legs. He didn’t notice the agility of his opponent. He didn’t notice Ryan sitting innocently behind him.
When the chair swung through the air, the man in Ryan’s way dropped to the floor, only allowing him to see what was to come far too late for it to be avoided. All he could do was turn, half a cry making it past his lips before the heavy wooden back of the chair slammed into his upper back and head. He was thrown to the floor, head exploding with pain and seeing nothing but a black. The chair fell atop him, forgotten by the attacker who turned back to his original enemy.
Rough hands had grabbed him a few moments after though the remainder of the night was lost to him. Questions he couldn’t form answers to. Flashing lights. Loud sirens, shouting.
In most cases, it could be fixed; surgically put back into place.
Ryan wasn’t most cases. He was left blind in both eyes. Permanently.
To live twenty eight years with all five senses, only to lose sight; the most valuable of all of them.
He had to learn how to live again, had to learn how to walk with confidence, to learn how to navigate his own home as if he’d never stepped foot in it before. His body was constantly littered with bruises and scratches and for months he lived alongside the company of his sister. She gave him hours and days and weeks of her time, to heal, to grow, to learn.
It took months of adjusting, walking with a blind stick and strengthening his other senses, until he could survive just fine in his routine alone. He memorised how many steps he took from his bedroom to the bathroom, the width of his doorways and the placement of the sharpest table corners in his home.
It was the city life that made things most difficult.
“Hello?”
It was hard to differentiate the sounds of the people around him from the sounds coming from his phone. “Ryan, it’s Sally. Will you be home today?” He turned, flicking his walking stick back and forth in front of him, picturing the bumps and dips in the pathway ahead of him. He expected every bump of a shoulder or a hip, not allowing himself to lose balance; he was used to the crowded streets.
“Yes, I’m walking home now.” He stumbled, murmuring an apology to the owner of the chest he’d walked into, turning and standing next to them as he listened to the cars go by. Thankfully, he could feel that the crowd waiting at the lights was thin and there was only really the one man (he could tell by the height and broadness of his chest) who was stood close enough for Ryan to feel he was there.
“Okay, I’ll be there in an hour,” Sally replied, adding a short: “Stay safe!” before hanging up the phone.
The tell-tale ring of the walking sign going green sounded, followed by the impatient beeps that marked the time pedestrians were allowed to cross. Ryan sighed, flicking his stick in front of him and stepping down from the curb. He took two steps forward. A car horn sounded, loud, long and angry.
Panic froze him where he had stepped into the road, too many sounds exploding around him as he tried to understand whether it was him in danger and where to move. A hand grabbed the back of his elbow, an arm looping around his front, and he was pulled sharply back three steps where he tripped over the curb and fell to his ass on the sidewalk.
He felt wind rush past as the horn blared from the vehicle, speeding through the space he had occupied half a moment ago.
“Dickhead.” A new voice and a sharp snap at who Ryan assumed was the driver who had ran the red light. “Are you hurt?” The hands on his arms pulled him back to his feet and Ryan felt someone else collide with his back and send him stumbling into his supposed saviour.
He felt vulnerable without his walking stick and instinctively scuffed his feet along the ground around him. “I- I’m fine. My… My white cane-” The stranger’s hand didn’t move from where it tightly gripped his upper arm.
“C’mon, let’s get across.” Ryan picked up the southern touch to his words, a strong accent on the lulling voice. He didn’t try refuse, allowing himself to be lead across the road. Once back on the footpath, he felt himself be pushed lightly against the wall of the corner building. “Blind?” Blunt. No beating around the bush. Ryan nodded shortly, blinking his eyes uselessly behind his dark glasses. “Got in some kind of accident or were you born with it,” he asked, pushing a pole into Ryan’s hand. Then another. Or more accurately, the two halves of his snapped cane.
His heart fell. Making his way home was going to be a million times harder without it.
“Some kind of accident,” he murmured, running his fingers over the broken ends to assess just how unixable it was.
“Where are you headed?” he asked. “You got any vision at all?”
Another shake of the head. “Completely blind. I’m trying to get home.” Ryan ran a hand through his hair before smiling dumbly. “I’m Ryan,” he announced, holding his hand in the air in front of him and letting his smile grow as it was taken and shaken.
“Luke.” The southerner spoke with something of a smile. “I’ll walk you the rest of the way home so you don’t step out in front of anymore cars,” he offered, giving a tug on Ryan’s arm. “What street?”
The blind man shook his head. There was no need to waste this guy’s time. “You don’t have to do that,” he pushed. “I’ll survive on my own.” He hoped his smile was along the lines of reassuring as another passerby shoved into his shoulder.
“Watch it, asshole,” Luke snapped, Ryan’s brows raising at the aggressive tone. It wasn’t often he was being defended against the careless pricks that roamed the city streets. Long fingers slipped between his, an action that felt far too intimate for a stranger. “I’m walkin’ you home. Where do you live?”
Hearing the determination in the accent, Ryan knew this guy wasn’t going to let him go on his own without a fight. He gave in with a sigh, adjusting his grip on the hand in his and nodding to his left. He spoke his address clearly, allowing himself to be tugged back into motion, walking down the path behind Luke.
He could tell the guy was tall, keeping Ryan close enough behind him so that no one would bump him while walking the other way. The walk was full of thought, but far quicker than it would have been without a guide.
When the people pressing around them became less and less, he was led off the path by Luke’s hand. “Thirty-eight?” the southerner double-checked, catching Ryan’s nod and pushing through the little gate. “This is you then.”
Ryan’s hand fell out of Luke’s, knowing the steps up to his house well enough. He nodded, digging his keys out from his jacket pocket. “Come in,” he said, finding the lock with his fingertips before getting the door open. “Let me get you a drink at least,” he offered, stepping into the air-conditioned hall of his home.
Kicking his shoes off, he walked onwards knowing Luke wasn’t far behind him. “I shouldn’t- I need to get to the airport before three,” he explained and Ryan found his watch with his fingertips, following the little hands to see the other man had half an hour to get to the station and catch a train.
“Can I do anything else to thank you?” he asked, turning to face him.
Luke hummed, the twist in the low sound letting Ryan know the other was wearing a small smile. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you again,” he commented, not shy of his words as he left Ryan to accept or decline his proposal.
The blind brunette ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I might not be any use going for a movie, but I can call Uber Eats and order Chinese pretty fine. I have some pretty sweet records to listen to as well so…”
He flinched as fingertips brushed against his elbow. The sensation had goosebumps rising up to his shoulder and he didn’t pull away as they slipped down to curl between his fingers. “I’m not one to turn down a free meal,” Luke said, his smile still audible. “I can be here Friday night at six?”
Ryan smiled, feeling his cheeks warm up knowing Luke would be watching his face. He itched to be able to blink and see him, see his face, what he looked like, the colour of his eyes. “I’d like that,” he murmured, lost in thoughts of wonder about the mystery man in front of him.
“Well then.” The rough fingers slipped out of Ryan’s and the blind man wanted to be in contact with the other in some way, a reminder he was still there. He focused on the sound of his breathing for a moment, hearing slow footsteps move back down the hall towards the still open front door. “I’ll see you on Friday at six, Ryan…?”
“Matt. Ryan Matt,” he responded, pulling his lips into a smile and lifting a hand to wave. “Thanks again, Luke.”
The front door clicked shut. It was plain impossible for Ryan to get the thought of the smooth southern accent out of his head for the rest of that day.
#ohmtoonz#fic#fanfic#drabble#bbs#banana bus squad#bbs fic#bbs fanfic#blind! au#blind! ohm#jynx writes
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Thank you to the lovely gems @satans-helper @mountainofthesunn @beautifulcinephile @safarimama @gretavanfic for tagging me! <3
1. What is your middle name?
Raquel
2. How old are you?
27, yes I’m ancient in Tumblr years haha
3. When is your birthday?
Feb. 23
4. What is your zodiac sign?
Pisces sun, Aries rising, Scorpio moon.
5. What is your favourite colour?
dark greenish blue, like dark teal I guess.
6. What’s your lucky number?
13
7. Do you have any pets?
My kitty cat Padmé....and there’s Obi, too, a younger, misbehaving kitty cat.
8. Where are you from?
Southern Arizona (it’s a dry heat!)
9. How tall are you?
5′1 1⁄4 “(you will pry that fourth of an inch from my cold, dead, hobbit sized hands!) also all y’all are tall af! What gives?
10. What shoe size are you?
7 or 7.5 depends on the style of shoe
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
A reasonable amount, I do believe in having shoes for every occasion.
12. What was your last dream about?
I was trying to pair a body suit with a skirt or something to attend a concert, but then a “race of superior humans” took over everything and well, the concert was no longer a priority.
13. What talents do you have?
I like to think I’m a pretty good dancer...
14. Are you psychic in any way?
I have a strong intuition, I think.
15. Favourite song?
Today I am going to say Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty.
16. Favourite movie?
Probably Forrest Gump
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
Someone kind and funny. A good human being who’s just trying their best.
18. Do you want children?
I think so, but not for a long, long time.
19. Do you want a church wedding?
I got opinions about marriage as an institution...but if I gotta get married I think I’d want it to be somewhere outside.
20. Are you religious?
Not anymore
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
Not admitted, just emergency room stuff
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
lol no
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
I met an actor from a kid’s soap opera in Mexico once idk his name tho. (and i swear to god I saw Travis Barker from Blink 182 at the San Diego Zoo once, could not confirm tho)
24. Baths or showers?
Showers (but Lush bath bombs are fun and fizzly and smell good)
25. What color socks are you wearing?
barefoot rn
26. Have you ever been famous?
no, but as a toddler my picture was used in a newspaper article lol
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
Not really, I just want to be able to wear gorgeous gowns and walk down a red carpet and pose haha. And also be interviewed, I pretend I’m interviewed a lot in my head.
28. What type of music do you like?
I listen to a little bit of everything in spanish and english, but mostly pop, rock, soft rock, oldies, r&b, hip hop. Like shoes, there is also a playlist for every occasion.
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
NOT YET!
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
four
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
on my tummy, arms under my head, making a four with my legs (if you know, you know)
32. How big is your house?
big enough
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
an egg dish of some kind.
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
nerf gun lol
35. Have you ever tried archery?
No, but my middle school BF, Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood was really good at that.
36. Favorite clean word?
luscious
37. Favorite swear word?
Fuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
24 hours i think
39. Do you have any scars?
Oh, ya...thanks Padmé
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Not that I know of...
41. Are you a good liar?
Ha! No! My best friend says my voice gets two octaves higher when I’m lying haha
42. Are you a good judge of character?
I believe so, yes.
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
I mean, I’ve tried to do British, that’s what happens when you grow up watching LOTR, Harry Potter, and Pirates of the Caribbean over and over lol
44. Do you have a strong accent?
My Spanish and English are unaccented, but i’m sure when i travel to other parts of the country they know I’m “not from ‘round these parts.”
45. What is your favourite accent?
One time I heard a man from Holland speak and I’ve never heard an accent as beautiful since. But usually I like New Zealand accents.
46. What is your personality type?
Chill and funny.
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
Probably my faux leather jacket
48. Can you curl your tongue?
Yes
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
50. Left or right-handed?
right
51. Are you scared of spiders?
Fuck yeah, especially tarantulas.
52. Favourite food?
Egg rolls
53. Favourite foreign food?
Chinese
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
My personal spaces are messy...there is order in the chaos, though.
55. Most used phrase?
“You guys are bad, bad kitties.”
56. Most used word?
“Ubie” one of the many nicknames for my younger brother.
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
about 30 minutes
58. Do you have much of an ego?
it exists and is a fickle thing
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
suck and then bite when it’s been weakened lol
60. Do you talk to yourself?
oh yeah
61. Do you sing to yourself?
mmhmm
62. Are you a good singer?
no, not really, but that ain’t gonna stop me
63. Biggest Fear?
living an inauthentic, unfulfilling life.
64. Are you a gossip?
I like to listen to tea being spilled, I just really like a good story.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
The Prestige
66. Do you like long or short hair?
Long
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
I think so
68. Favourite school subject?
History/English
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
introvert
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
no
71. What makes you nervous?
being thrown into unfamiliar situations
72. Are you scared of the dark?
No (my best friend slept with a night light when we were growing up and it was the worst part of sleeping over, but I weaned her off of it eventually!)
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
Sure, kindly, the same way I’d like to be corrected.
74. Are you ticklish?
yes
75. Have you ever started a rumour?
no
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
yeah, at work. it’s weird, I do not feel like the kind of person who should be in a leadership position. I’ve always thought that was a thing for loud, confident people haha
77. Have you ever drank underage?
yeah
78. Have you ever done drugs?
like weed/edibles lol
79. Who was your first real crush?
Cody in fourth and fifth grade.
80. How many piercings do you have?
seven
81. Can you roll your R’s?
Yes
82. How fast can you type?
pretty fast
83. How fast can you run?
Like if I have a good reason to, my ass will sprint fast.
84. What colour is your hair?
It’s naturally a dark brown, but right now the roots are dark and the rest is lighter because i’m a dumbass who wanted rose gold hair
85. What color is your eyes?
dark brown
86. What are you allergic to?
I think the combination of avocado and tomato causes some kind of reaction because every time I eat it, my lips feel all tingly and swollen.
87. Do you keep a journal?
I have a lot of journals that I occasionally will write in.
88. What do your parents do?
Their best. lol. My dad is a facilities director and my mom can’t work because of her chronic illnesses. But she was a teacher in Mexico, and worked at all kinds of things here before her health got too bad.
89. Do you like your age?
Sure
90. What makes you angry?
assholes lol people who don’t realize or care about the fact that we’re all on the same damn rock with the same needs.
91. Do you like your own name?
I do, yes.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
haha I really like the name Agustín
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
doesn’t matter
94. What are you strengths?
i’m compassionate and love deeply
95. What are your weaknesses?
i’m compassionate and love deeply lmao jk. It can be difficult to set boundaries
96. How did you get your name?
Named after both my grandmothers, they were quite different women and I think I got some of the best stuff from both.
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
Not likely, probably more like merchants. I’m convinced my mom’s side of the family left Spain because of some shaddy stuff haha or to incest in peace lmao
98. Do you have any scars?
Yeah, thanks Padmé
99. Colour of your bedspread?
It’s summer so i’m only using a flat sheet right now, it’s purple.
100. Colour of your room?
blue, specifically the shade azure
Tagging: @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @gretavanfleetlife @littlegeekwonder @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade @eatmyshiftsticky @jeordinevankiszka @myownparadise96 @michaalien @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @okietrish @thebatphone
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Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won’t happen?
Why yes, hello, I have an anxiety disorder and this is my literal life.
Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep?
Yes, but I would again attribute that “imagination” to anxiety.
Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean?
I don’t typical obsess over meaning, I don’t think that there is any... but I do have really vivid dreams I am constantly giving all the weird details to my friends.
Or do you usually forget about your dreams?
I forget sometimes.
Do you know your heritage?
I am 50% Chinese, my grandfather and grandmother immigrated from China in their early 20s. My mom’s side if a lot more ambiguous.
If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits?
I would, I think it would be interesting to see exactly what DNA be running through my veins.
Which languages can you speak?
English. That’s it. I’m uncultured.
Which language do you speak the most and why?
English because that’s what I know.
Which languages do you wish you were fluent in?
Either Mandarin or Spanish.
With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles?
Subtitles but I’ll do a dub too.
Which cuisine do you like the least?
German. Too much meat.
Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture?
Why yes, of course.
Which type of chocolate do you like best?
I don’t love chocolate... I’ll eat it if it’s infused with THC though.
Do you have a favorite kind of dog?
All of them.
Do you let your pets sleep in your bed?
Absolutely.
Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists?
Yes.
What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians?
Hmm. Not sure.
Who are your favorite songwriters?
I’m not sure.
Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)?
Sure.
Do you know who Bernie Taupin is?
I don’t know who that is.
What are your favorite one-hit wonders?
Take On Me–A-ha
What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked?
I’m not sure... probably plenty since there is tons of nudity on TV and in movies.
Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident?
Yes.
Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked?
Of course.
Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity?
Yes.
Have you ever changed your clothes in the car?
Yes.
About how quickly does your hair grow?
Relatively quick.
Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual?
I choose to shave my arms.
Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows?
I pluck them when warranted.
Most unusual thing you have worn in public?
I don’t know.
If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands?
Tarte, Colourpop, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics.
Do you use flavored lip balm?
No.
What about tinted lip balm?
Rarely.
What is your favorite swear word?
Fuck.
Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises?
No.
Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles?
I don’t typically drink ice tea.
Have you ever made sun tea?
Never even heard of it.
Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea?
Occasionally honey.
Do you ever put milk in your tea?
Only milk-tea/boba.
Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer?
Neither, I drink my coffee black.
Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons?
Health care center.
Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class?
No.
Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class?
Nope.
Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school?
German club, volleyball, tennis, chorus.
Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye?
Yes.
Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows?
No.... ?
Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny?
Most likely.
Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut?
Not sure what that is.
Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series?
It depends.
Any great books you would recommend?
The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks.
Any great movies or TV series you would recommend?
Wentworth, Jane the Virgin, The Good Place.
Were you disappointed with Fox’s version of the Rocky Horror Show?
I didn’t watch it.
Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie?
No.
What about the musical?
Nope.
Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs?
Nope.
Have you read any of the Hannibal novels?
No.
Do you like any Indie movies?
Usually.
Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn’t like as well?
Most likely.
Do you like to go to the movies alone?
No.
When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other?
Depends who I’m with and where we are watching. Movie Theater? No. In my living room? Yes.
Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them?
Yes.
What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself?
Not sure. I’m not super crafty.
Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)?
Sure.
What accents do you find most pleasant?
Southern drawls, Aussie, Spanish.
Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way?
I don’t care.
Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen?
No.
Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers?
Yes.
Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia?
Yes.
Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating?
SO many. I love true crime, I love dissecting the fucked up details of murder.
Do you care what color your socks are?
No.
What about your underwear?
No.
What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive?
Smile, eyes, mouth, arms.
Do you think guys look good in makeup?
I used to die over guyliner.
Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare?
I prefer sheet masks.
Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut?
Yes.
Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket?
Yes.
Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt?
No.
Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams)
No, in my more vivid dreams I actually have some significant control over my dreams.
Would you ever want to try?
Eh. It happens sometimes without trying.
If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere?
It will be somewhere woods-y.
Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed?
No fucking way.
Would you ever have a pet cremated?
I would.
What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any?
Dark Matter,
Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes?
I would consider it.
If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be?
A private practice for child therapy specifying in trauma.
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Spongebob Memories
Stephen Hillenburg’s passing has made me reflect a lot on Spongebob today like how much I really loved that show and how clever it was and weird little ways its worked its way into my life:
-my dad saying “i’m sure you aaaaaare!” in a falsetto voice like Spongebob did that one time when Squidward said he didn’t like his tone
-in high school, almost any time a friend said “what?” bc they hadn’t heard something properly, my bff Nicole and I would go “WHAT?? WHAT’RE THEY SELLING?!” “CHAW-CLATE.” “THEY’RE SELLIN’ CHOCOLATE?!?”
-I once referenced this show in a talk AT CHURCH bc of that episode where Squidward moved away to a town of other squids and got to do stuff he loved everyday, and you saw it slowly wearing down on him. Like, there’s that montage of him shopping and playing the clarinet and dancing or w/e and he just starts looking more and more depressed. So I was talking about how it’s a good illustration of why we need challenges in life/how we need grievances to really appreciate good things. I still stand by that!
-if my dad or I goes “ow” after a really minor not-actually-painful incident and the other one goes “what’s wrong?” we answer in a Southern accent “I stepped inside and slipped on an ice cube.”
(my dad would watch the show with me a lot when I was a kid)
-I was at a screening of the ‘20s Nosferatu and when he first showed up this one girl just yelled “OH MY GOD THE GUY FROM SPONGEBOB”
-in college I would frequently hang out with my favorite professor during her office hours, if she didn’t have any meetings. We’d just hang and talk for hours at a time about the most random stuff. This one time though we were actually in fact discussing classwork (Humanities 201) when, like mid-sentence, she goes “OH! I have to show you something, hang on” and dives into her bag. She’s hiding something from my view and putting it in her computer and then lo and behold it was Spongebob in German. She speaks German and her kids knew she was a Spongebob fan so they bought it for her as a joke gift. We laughed and then I was looking at the episodes available and was like “omg they have my favorite episode” “which one??” “the krusty krab training video” and she was like “OMG THAT’S MY FAVE TOO” so we watched it in her office
-if we hear a spooky noise at night, my brother will go “LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLEE EE”
-if I’m passing a really slow car I sometimes say “not when I go into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE” even if I’m alone
-in 7th grade I had this classmate who was obsessed with the show and she asked our Chinese teacher how to say Spongebob Squarepants in Chinese and I’ll never forget her face as she repeated back “Sponge...bob???? Square... pants?!????” (I don’t think she gave us a translation)
There are more, I’m sure, but those are the ones that come to mind. Thanks for all the laughs and the memories, Stephen!
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