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#when this happens i will be screaming crying throwing up
cmncisspnandmore · 2 days
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All hands on deck -Part 3
Parings: Poly!Taskforce141 X Wife!Reader
Warnings: None?
Word count: 7844
Not beta read or edited, all mistakes are mine.
Previous: Part 2
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2 months. 8 weeks. 56 days.1,344 hours. 80,640 minutes.
That’s how long John, Kyle, Simon and Johnny had been gone.
You rest your head on your hand, sitting on the dark brown chair in the corner of the playroom. Your mug of peppermint tea sitting on a coaster next to you, Right next to the book Kyle was reading before he left. Hope sits on the floor, smashing wooden blocks together, her little cheeks flushed pink. Her short brown hair pulled up in two tiny pigtails. Theo lays on the oversized bean bag, rubbing his eyes furiously. 
“Mama,” he whines, and you look over, blinking rapidly as you focus on the 4 year old.
“Yes baby?” 
“I want Papa!” he cries, head tipping back as a harsh sob leaves his lips. 
“I know baby, i know,” you frown, standing from your chair, walking over to the overtired toddler and picking him up.He presses his face into the side of your neck.
“I want Papa,” he whines again, his voice tired. For the past 2 weeks Theo had refused to go to bed, throwing monumental fits, throwing himself to the ground and crying for hours. Nothing you did soothed him, it always ended the same way, you sitting outside his bedroom door, your own tears trailing down your cheeks as you listened to him cry himself to sleep. The days with him weren't much easier, his overtiredness causing every small thing to be a battle. He had started going after Hope, hitting her, biting her, and then in turn hitting you when you tried to break them up.
The only saving grace for your sanity was that the older children had school during the day. With 3 of your 5 children gone from the house 8 hours a day you were at least able to have some semblance of order. But the house was nowhere near where you wanted it to be. The dishes piled up in the sink. Laundry wasn't done, and the entire house needed to be deep cleaned. But there wasn't enough time in the day.
You felt like you were drowning, an engine running without gas. Between waking up at every small sound in the house, Theo’s refusal to sleep, and getting up at 5am each morning to get breakfast and lunches done for the older kids. Not to mention the never ending errands you had to run, going to the grocery store, bringing Kira to gymnastics, Joseph to football, Isla to ballet. 
You were exhausted.
Theo sniffles into your neck, and you rub his back gently, trying to soothe him. 
“I want Papa,” he says softly, his tears soaking the collar of your pink blouse. 
“I know, I wish I knew when he was going to be home,” you breathe. Your lips brush over his cheek, your hand making small circles on his back. Hope toddles over to you, her hands gripping your pant legs. Her big blue eyes turned up towards you.
“Up! Up!” she demands, her hands pulling on your yoga pants. You crouch and pick her up, settling her on your other hip. Theo notices and reaches over smacking her in the face. It takes Hope a moment to register what happened and she starts screaming. 
“Theo!” you scold, putting the 4 year old on his feet. He stares up at you with his brown eyes. Tiny brows furrowed in anger.
“No! No Hope! I don't like her!” he screams, raising his tiny fists to beat against your leg. You cradle Hope to your chest as Theo beats on your thigh. Big tears stream down her cheeks, a tiny hand print on her face, 
“Theo we don't hit, it's not nice.” You sigh, looking down at him. His face is red and angry as he continues to hit you. “Damnit Theo ENOUGH!” You yell, and he stops immediately, his lower lip trembling. You watch as his face scrunches up and he starts to scream. 
“I no like you Mama!” he screeches before he takes off from the playroom, his angry footsteps disappearing down the hall. You close your eyes, your head pounding, Hope still crying softly in your arms. Theo’s angry screams down the hall, you take a deep breath. Trying to compose yourself, as you walk down the hallway. 
“Do you want some strawberries? Will that make you feel better?” You ask Hope, and she stops crying almost immediately. You shake your head, she was definitely one of your husbands kids, food seemed to be the cure all for her. You walk down the hall and set her in her highchair. You see Theo’s feet peeking out from under the island counter, but don't say anything. You know if you said something to him he would just lash out at you. He was like a tightly wound spring, one wrong move and he exploded. 
You grab the container of berries from the fridge and start cutting them into small pieces, plating them on one of Hope’s tiny pink plates. You deposit them on her tray and she digs in, hands fisting as much fruit as she can. She shoves fistfull after fistfull into her mouth.  Strawberry juice dribbled down her chin, staining her yellow dress pink.  
A little hand grabs the bottom of your pants as you put the knife into the kitchen sink. You glance down, Theos small hand grips the black fabric tight. You kneel down, knees cracking as you come face to face with your overtired four year old.
“Sowwy Mama…” he says softly, looking down at the cream tile.
“I accept your apology, but we don’t use our hands to hit people. It’s not nice, Hope didn’t do anything to you. I know you miss Papa, Dad, Da and Daddy. I wish I could make them appear so they could hug you sooo tight they squish all the sad outta you, but I can’t. And I miss them too, Theo. It’s okay to be upset, but it’s not okay to use your hands to hurt people, okay?” You rub your fingers over the backs of his hands, and he nods. Brown curls falling into his face, you brush them back smiling softly at him.
“C’mon, how about you have a snack before we go pick up the twins and Isla from the bus stop, does that sound nice?” You reach for him, pulling him to his feet. He nods, “we have any blueberries?” 
“We sure do,” you smile, and Theo races to a chair, scrambling up it. He rests his elbows on the table, and watches as you grab them from the fridge and put them back in a bowl for him.
You take a seat opposite of him, watching as he eats the small blue fruit. Your head resting on your hand, your head still pounds. Each beat of your heart is like a hammer in your head. You rub your temples, wincing as Hope starts to bang her plate on the high chair tray.
“More! More! More!” she laughs, the plate clattering to the floor. 
“Okay, okay, you can have a few more,” you push back your chair, grabbing her plate from the floor, you squick some blueberries for her, and give her back the plate. Theo and Hope eat their fruit happily, your eyes flickering to the clock on the wall. It was almost time to go to the bus stop to get the other kids. 
“Eat up my friends, we gotta go get your siblings in a moment,” you muse, walking down the hall. You collect Theo and Hope's shoes, after slipping on a pair of flats. Theo’s dinosaur sneakers are tattered and in need of replacing. You sigh as the velcro closure hangs on by mere threads. It was always something. You kneel in front of Hope’s highchair and slide her baby pink crocs onto her feet. Her face smeared in pink and purple juices from her snack. You wipe her mouth with your sleeves, staining your shirt. You could hear Simon's voice in your head, grumbling about trying to get stains out of your shirts. A smile ticked up on your lips, he did most of the laundry when they were home. He claimed the monotonous task quieted his mind, much like when he cleaned his gun. He would always scold you for using your shirt or pants to wipe the various messes off the children. At one point he was convinced you did it just to punish him. 
Not that it was your intention. You never did it maliciously to give him more to do, but with 5 kids it was faster to just use your shirt or pants to wipe small messes than find a rag. There was barely enough time to use your shirt before they smeared it over the furniture. 
The clock on the wall chimes, 3pm, the soft melodic song pulling you from your thoughts. You quickly slip on Theo’s shoes, and pull Hope from her high chair. 
“Lets go my friend, time to get the others,” you hold your hand. Theo climbs off the chair, shoving his last berry in his mouth. His tiny hand slips into yours, as you walk down the hall. Pulling open the front door you glance around, hoping that maybe the black sub they took to base would be pulling down the driveway, but it was empty. Only the discarded bikes and sidewalk chalk there. The chalk drawings faded from the sun, and various shoes walked across it.
The bus stop was at the end of your street, about a 5 minute walk from your house. Theo holds your hand the whole way, eagerly looking at the houses as you pass them. He points out all the different color flowers that are starting to bloom in your neighbors yards. A group of parents stand at the end of the street, all of them talking among themselves. 
“Mama! Piper!” Theo exclaims tugging on your hand as he spots his friend. Piper was your next door neighbor Maria’s daughter. She was the youngest of 3, only a few months older than Theo. 
“Alright go on, but stay on the grass,” You call after him as he pulls away from you, little legs carrying him towards the red headed toddler. Piper notices his running, and jumps up and down tugging on her mothers dress. Maira says something to her and she runs up to Theo, pulling him over to the grass on the edge of the street. Threry sink into the grass, plucking flowers from the ground and making them into a pile.
“Hey” Maria greets you as you walk up to the group. A few other parents giving you a small wave.
“Hi,” You smile, shifting Hope higher on your hip.
“Hello Little Missy,” Maria greets Hope, her hands coming to snatch her from you. She settles Hope on her hip, Hopes hands playing with the beaded necklace she wears. ‘How’ve you been? Have they come home yet?”
“Not yet,” you shake your head and Maria reaches out, her hand squeezing your arm lightly.
“I’m sorry, love, hopefully they’ll be home soon,” she gives you a reassuring smile.
“I hope so,” you run your hand through your hair. “The past few weeks have been a lot.” 
“You look tired, if you need anything let me know,” Maria pats your arm. “I’ll watch this little cutie for you any day, and Piper had been begging for Theo to come over and play. Maybe we can set up a playdate for them later this week? I can take them for a few hours and you can get some rest.” 
Your eyes water, Maria was always so kind to you. She knew what it was like to have a husband who was gone alot. Her own husband worked a lot overseas in the states, she would often just stop over with a meal for your family when she knew the guys were gone. 
“Oh hun, don’t cry.” She whispers, pulling you towards her. Her arms wrapping around your shoulders, Hope smushed between you two as she embraced you.
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you wipe at the tears that collect on your lower lash line.
“Don’t apologize, you’ve got a lot on your plate, I’ get overwhelmed with 3, I can’t imagine 5. Kids are a lot of work, and it’s not like they’re sitting in an office somewhere like my Michael. They’re out god knows where putting their lives on the line. I at least get the comfort of knowing Michael is in a hotel room each night safe. I couldn’t imagine not knowing where my husband was, if he was alright. And you have not 1 but 4 people to worry about.” Her hand rests on your shoulder, the warmth from her palm seeping through the fabric of your shirt.
“I know, I just feel so stupid being upset by it. It’s been almost 8 years of dealing with it. I mean god, I’ve been with them since I was 18,” you sniffle, taking a deep breath.
“8 years is a long time, they’ve been your safe place for most of your adult life. It’s hard to not know when you’ll get that security back. No one is judging you for having a hard time.” She adjusts Hope in her arms, switching her to the other hip. She studies you for a moment, before she leans in. “If there’s something you need to talk to me about, I’m a pretty good secret keeper.” Her eyes drift to your stomach before she looks back at your face. A suggestive smile on her lips.
“Oh, no! No!” You wave your hands in the air. “That’s not it at all, I haven’t even gotten my period back since Hope stopped breastfeeding. Soon hopefully,” you laugh, as the bus pulls up to the end of the street. 
“Okay..” Maria hums, handing your youngest back to you. Theo runs over to you grabbing your leg as he watches the bus doors open. A few neighborhood kids get off before you 3 do. Joseph spots you first, his black backpack over one shoulder, he runs over. Kira and Isla follow. 
“Are they home yet Mama?” Joseph asks, hope flaring in his blue eyes. Blue eyes that looked exactly like Johnny’s. 
“Not yet Babe, soon though,” you pat his head, running your fingers through his short brown hair. 
“It’s okay Mama,” he sighs, a frown on his lips as he shrugs his backpack up higher. Isla skips over, her bright pink sneakers lighting up.
“C’mon Theo I'll race you home!” Isla teases her younger brother, and they both take off. Isla clearly lets Theo stay ahead of her, she steps far shorter than normal.
“Stay on the side of the road please! And where I can see you!” You call after them. Kira and Joseph walk next to you. Both of them are unusually quiet on the walk home. Isla coaches Theo on stopping at each mailbox on the way back to the house. Always looking over her shoulder to make sure you weren't far behind.
“Everything okay?” You ask, bumping your hip into Kira’s shoulder.
Her blonde hair has started to come loose from her braid, stray tendrils of hair falling into her face. She shrugs slightly, kicking at a rock with her shoe.
“Someone said that we’re weird because we have 4 Dads and that there's no way we could have 4 dads that three of them aren't really our dads.” Joseph chimes in, swinging Hope's hand back and forth, as he walks next to you.
“That's not true, your fathers are most definitely your dads. They all love you,” you frown.
“But it’s true isn't it? I'm Daddy’s and Joseph is Da’s, Theo is Dad’s, and Hope and Isla are Papas… That's why my hair is blonde like Daddy’s and Theo’s skin is brown like Dads. Joseph, Isla and Hope all have blue eyes and brown hair because Da and Papa have brown hair and blue eyes,” Kira crosses her arms over her chest, one hand playing a strand of her blonde hair.
“Yes, you’re right about that. You may look like Daddy, but who reads you a story every night when he's home?” You touch her shoulder gently as you reach your driveway.
“Dad does,” She looks up at you with furrowed brows. 
“And who makes you whatever you want for breakfast on sunday morning?”
“Papa…” she trails off.
“And who gives you the best hugs when you’re sad? Besides me of course.” You smile,
“Da..”
“And who plays whatever game you want, whenever you want?”
A smile forms on her lips, “daddy.” 
“And all of those things are what Fathers do for their kids right?” You ask, setting Hope down in the front yard and she takes off towards Theo and Isla.
“Mhmm..” she stands in front of you, as you crouch down. Your hands holding hers, giving them a soft squeeze.
“So just because you might be Daddy’s kid biologically, doesn't mean your fathers don't love any less, or love any of the other kids more. All of them love so much, and they would do anything for any of you guys. They are no less your dad just because you don't have the same blood type or the same hair color. Because family isn't about who you’re related to, it's about who loves you. If you were to ask any of them how many kids they had, they would say they have 5 beautiful, smart, kind and caring kids. Kids they love more than anything in the entire world, and nothing will ever change that. A lot of people have more than one Mom or dad. You remember Sophie right, she used to live down the street before she moved.” You gently tuck some of the loose hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, Sophie had two Moms because her Dad married someone else after her mom died,” She nods a small smile on her lips.
“So see, people can have more than one or dad, because all that matters is that they love you. So next time someone is mean to you, you just remember that your fathers love you so much, Kira. And nothing will ever change that.” You pull her to you and hug her, her arms wrapping around your neck. Her blonde hair tickles your cheek as she hugs you tight. Over her shoulder you watch as Hope chews on Islas backpack strap, Theo and Isla rolling around in the grass, Isla doing forward rolls and Theo trying to copy his older sister. Joseph watches you and Kira from the front steps. A smile forming on his lips, as you smile at him.
Your poor sensitive boy had been worried about Kira, he didn't like it when she was upset. Even as a baby whenever Kira would cry his little body would stiffen up, all his muscles tense until someone comforted her. For the longest time you had them sleeping in the same cot. When you tried to separate them they screamed and cried. You had been worried about safe sleep, insisting that they sleep separately. It was Kyle who suggested putting them in the same cot. After 5 days of little to no sleep you finally caved, and as soon as you laid Kira next to Joseph they both drifted off instantly. Little bodies pressed against each other. 
It made sense, when you thought about it. They had only ever known life with another person stuck to their side. They couldn't understand why it had changed when they were born.
Now looking at your almost 8 year olds your heart aches. You loved them fiercely and the thought of people giving them a hard time about their dads made you crazy. Why couldn’t people just leave it alone, it’s not like you were hurting anyone. Your lifestyle didn’t cause anyone harm, no one was dead because you had four husbands.
There wasn't some catastrophic event that would happen because you found happiness in the arms of four men. 
“Okay, Mama,” Kira pulls back slightly so there's some distance between you two. “Can we get pizza for dinner?” 
You can't help the laugh that bubbles out of you, and you give her a small nod. “Sure Baby, let's all go inside. I’ll help you with your homework and then we’ll order pizza.” 
Your back rests against Theos bedroom door, your ass went numb an hour ago. He had stopped crying, the camera app pulled up on your phone showing him laying across his bed, little legs hanging off his bed. His mouth opens as he snores softly.  
After dinner it was a shit show. Hope threw up all her pizza, Theo decided to draw on the walls, Kira and Joseph got in a huge screaming match over whose turn it was to pick a movie. And Isla had accidentally run into the glass cabinet in the dining room and broke it, earning herself a small cut on her hand. 
Your night ended with Theo throwing the world's longest tantrum because his Papa still wasn't home to tuck him in. 
You weren't sure how much more of this you could take. Your entire body hurt, your head pounded with each beat of your heart. Every muscle felt like you went 10 rounds with Simon. Your head knocks softly against the door, as you look up at the white ceiling of the hallway. 
It was almost 2 in the morning and despite how bone crushingly tired you were, you couldn't find it in you to get up. To crawl into your massive bed and lay there, missing your men. Sleeping alone for most people was a luxury, especially for someone who had as big of a bed as yours. But to you, the empty bed with more pillows and blankets than one person could need was a constant reminder that they weren't home. 
You had tried calling their cell phones earlier, knowing that it would just go straight to voicemail. You had just needed to hear their voices, hoping it would give you the strength to get through the night. 
Tears prick the back of your eyes, your throat constricting with emotion. You missed them so much it was starting to physically hurt. You could feel the hole in your chest growing with each passing day. You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, and they started to fall rapidly. Your breathing turns harsh and rapid as you fold over on yourself. Hands gripping your knees as you sob. Your spine digs into the hard wood of the door behind you, but you barely notice. The physical discomfort is no match for the bone deep ache in your heart. Each breath is like a million tiny needles embedding into your lungs as you struggle to pull in oxygen. 
Your soft sobs echo through the hallway, and you’re honestly surprised you haven’t woken one of your children. Pulling your bottom lip between your teeth you bite back a scream that threatens to rip from you. Your vision becomes spotty as you hyperventilate, and eventually it becomes too much and you drift off into a dreamless sleep.
Warm hands, soft voices, the smell of jasmine and vanilla. Another set of hands, these ones larger. A different scent, one of gunpowder and leather. 
“C’mon Darling, open your beautiful eyes,” a gruff voice coaxed.
John.
“She’s not runnin’ a fever…” another voice, this one laced with an accent.
Johnny.
“Baby? Can you hear us?” A warm palm brushes over your forehead.
Kyle.
“Give her a minute, the poor thing looks exhausted.”
Simon.
Your eyes flutter open and you blink at the harsh overhead light from the ceiling fan over your bed. People swim at the edges of your vision and you rub your eyes, trying to focus. When you pull your hands away from your eyes, you have a sudden feeling of Deja vu. Four sets of eyes peer down at you. Two sets of blue, two sets of brown. 
“There you are,” John's lips tip up in a small smile.
“I’m not dead right?” You whisper, voice hoarse. 
“No, Baby, you’re alive,” Kyle laughs slightly, his warm hand coming to brush along your cheek. You lean into his hand, the warmth from his fingers seeping into the skin of your cheek. You look at the others, they’re still wearing their fatigues, you push yourself up onto your elbows. 
“When did you get home?” You ask, your gaze landing on Simon. He stands against the wall opposite your bed. Eyebrows furrowed as he watched you like a hawk.
 “20 minutes ago,” Johnny answers, slipping onto the bed next to you, he pulls you towards him. He cradles you against his chest, his lips brushing your cheek.
“You were asleep outside Theo’s door, you look exhausted Darling,” John puts his boonie hat on the dresser, and pulls his gun out of the waistband of his pants. He walks over, shoving Johnny over for a second to grabs his as well. John disappears into the walk-in closet and you can hear the beep of the electronic lock for their gun safe. 
“Oh…” you murmur as Johnny tucks you under his chin, his hands rubbing up and down your sides.
“I take things have been rough?” Kyle sits on the other side of you. As if on cue, the baby monitor for Theo’s room screeches to life. 
“Mama!!! I want Papa!!” Theo’s little voice crackles over the monitor.
John pokes his head out of the closet, wearing a T-shirt and sweatpant. “That’s my cue,” he mutters, walking over to the bed and dropping a kiss to your head. He slips from the room, and a moment later you hear Theo’s bedroom door open.
“Papa?” Theo’s voice is small and sleepy.
“Hi buddy, you looking for me?” John says quietly.
Simon reaches forward and switches off the monitor. Before he disappears into the closet to change as well.
“Missed you Mo Chridhe..” Johnny kisses your shoulder and hair.
“Not as much as I missed all of you,” you smile, grabbing Kyle’s hand and squeezing softly.
“Go change MacTavish, you’re gonna ruin my sheets,” Simon grunts. “Stop hogging the wife too,” he crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at you and Johnny. 
Johnny sighs and climbs off the bed and Simon slips into his spot, pulling you basically on top of him. His lips press to the side of your head as he anchors his arms around your waist. You look at his face, the dark circles under his eyes and a new cut through his eyebrow. Every muscle in his body is tense. You feel like you’re cuddling a rock wall more than your husband.
Kyle heads into the bathroom leaving you and Simon alone for a few moments. You rest your head on his large chest, his heart beating frantically against his ribs.
“It’s okay Si… you’re home now.. you can relax,” you gently rub your fingers over his jaw. The muscles twitching under your fingers.
He lets out a long breath, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks as he presses his mouth to yours. He pours everything into the kiss, his worries, his anxiety, the love he feels for you. He leaves you breathless as he pulls back.
“Get some sleep, Lovie. You need it.” Simon lets you go slightly so you can settle into your spot in the middle of the bed. Kyle flicks the light switch off and climbs in behind Simon, his arm over Simon’s body and resting on your hip. A few seconds later Johnny slips into bed facing you, his hand grabbing yours.your eyes grow heavy as he settles the blankets over you. The soft click of the bedroom door, followed by a slight shift in the mattress as John climbs in, the last thing you remember before you drift off to sleep.
You wake the next morning, bed empty, and you sit up. Did you dream of them coming home?
You glance around the room, but when your eyes settle on John’s boonie hat and Simon’s skull balaclava sitting on the dresser, you know you didn’t.
Slipping from the bed you change into a pair of leggings and a top, quickly brushing your teeth. You can hear laughter from the floor below as you walk down the hall. All the kids' bedroom doors are open, and the scent of pancakes floats up the stairs.
“Daddy! Daddy! Look, this one looks like a smiley face!” Joseph laughs.
“Nice job bud, can you make another?” Simon’s deep voice replies.
You round the corner and pause in the doorway, Theo is snuggled up on John’s chest, as John sits in a chair. His large hands rubbed the four year olds back.
Hope sits in her high chair, Kyle perched on the edge of the table as he rips up a pancake for her. Her tiny hands are grabbing the pieces faster than he can place them. 
Kira and Isla are sitting with Johnny at the table eating, their faces covered in sticky syrup, chocolate from the pancakes on their fingers.
“Hi Mama!” Joseph is the first to notice you, your shadowy figure at the edge of the doorway. All eyes snap to you, your children smiling before going back to what they were doing. Your husbands regard you for a few extra moments. Gaz only momentarily before Hope smacks her hands on her tray, demanding the man in front of her rip her pancake faster. 
John smiles at you over Theo’s head, his head tipping towards the full coffee pot. He knew you well, the first thing you needed in the morning was a caffeine fix. Johnny watches as you walk to the coffee pot, pouring yourself a cup and adding all your favorite mix ins. 
“Did ya sleep well?” He asks, wiping syrup from the table with a wet cloth.
“I did, best I’ve slept in awhile actually,” you hold the warm mug between your hands. You peer over the kitchen island where Simon is standing with Joseph making pancakes. He pours the batter onto the hot griddle before Joseph carefully drops various toppings into it. Blueberries for some, and chocolate chips for others.
“What kind do you want mama?” The boy asks, a smile on his lips as he shoves a stray chocolate chip into his mouth.
“I’m okay baby, thank you,” you walk over kissing his cheek before stretching up on your toes to kiss Simon’s. Simon’s brown eyes flicker over to you, but he doesn’t say anything just observing you.
You slide into a bar stool and watch as they continue to make stacks of pancakes. Once they are out of batter Simon plates two pancakes for Joseph, steering him in the direction of the table for him to eat. You raise your mug to your lips taking a small sip of your coffee. Your nose scrunching as the liquid slides over your tongue. Your stomach rolls slightly as you take another sip. You set the mug down on the counter, looking up to see Simon once again watching you. His hands held the empty bowl of pancake batter. 
“Something wrong with the coffee?” He inquires and you swear his eyes can see right through to your very soul. 
“I think the cream might be bad,” you push the mug away from you. Suddenly John’s hand is wrapping around the mug and he takes a sip. He’s quiet for a moment before he sets the cup down.
“Kira, Joseph, Isla, get ready for school,” John looks over at the kids who are staring at all of you. They quickly scramble from the room. Their footsteps race up the stairs as they run to their rooms to change.
“When did you find out?” He asks, and you look up at him puzzled.
“What?” 
“You don’t have to hide it, baby. We weren’t kidding when we said it before we left.” Kyle pulls Hope from her high chair and comes to stand around the counter with the other two.
“Said what?” You look between Simon, Kyle and John, your eyes flickering between them all. Johnny comes over, dropping the kids plates into the large sink.
“About wanting another bairn,” he crosses his arms over his chest. A smirk on his face as he looks at you.
“I’m not pregnant.” You blurt out, running your hands over your face. When you pull your hands from your face they’re all staring at you with doubtful looks on their faces. “I’m not!” 
“The only time you don’t like coffee is when you’re pregnant,” Simon states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“When was your last period?” Kyle asks, shifting Hope up higher in his arms.
“I haven’t gotten one since Hope stopped breastfeeding, that’s normal though,” you cross your arms over your chest.
“Did you not learn anything the last time you thought that?” Johnny laughs, and you cheeks flame. Okay so maybe they had a point, the last time you didn’t get a period after you stopped breastfeeding was when you got pregnant with Isla 3 months after the twins were born. 
“Sod off,” you grumble, getting off the stool and storming up the stairs. 
“Lovie! Don’t be like that, we aren’t mad!” Simon calls after you, but you don’t miss the laughter in his voice. 
“I’ll prove you wrong! Just gimme a moment!” You slam the bathroom door closed, and drop to your knees in front of the bathroom vanity. You pull out baskets of random items. Gauze, kids hair brushes, extra tooth paste, a Barbie doll that went missing months ago. A half used box of tissues, and more. You finally spot what you’re looking for, a box of digital pregnancy tests you kept in the back of the vanity.
You don’t bother shoving anything back under the vanity, as you quickly pee on the test strip and put the blue plastic cover on. You jog back down the stairs, the test in your hand as you place it on the counter in front of them. The little digital screen blinks, the bars creeping ever so slow as you give each of them a glare. 
John puts Theo on the floor and the 4 year old runs off, his own tiny feet going up the stairs as he goes to find his siblings. Kyle sets Hope on the counter, and she smacks the countertop with her hands, laughing at the sound that echoes through the quiet kitchen. 
“Darling, we want as many children as you’ll give us,” John reaches over and flips the test over so no one can see the digital screen. 
“We already have 5, how many more could we possibly need?” You sit on the bar stool, as Simon hands Hope 2 wooden spoons for her to play with. She shoves one in her mouth and waves the other around, almost smacking Gaz in the face. 
“I’d like 3 more,” Johnny answers, leaning his forearms against the counter. 
“8 Children total?” You stare at him, unable to wipe the slightly horrified look off your face. “You realize that there would be 13 people in our family at that point right?” 
“What's got you shaken up Mo Chridhe?” he frowns at you.
“I-I don't know if i can handle 8 kids alone….” You whisper, your voice shaking.
You could barely keep the 5 you had already alive when they were gone. Add in 3 more and you were sure you weren't going to survive. But you loved your children, and had always wanted a huge family. It was something you dreamed of as a child, and you knew how much each of your husbands adored the children. Were you really ready to never have a newborn baby again? Never experience the first time a baby smiles or laughs. Your gaze flickers to Hope, as she sits on the counter top, drool trailing down her chin as she gnaws on the wooden spoon. Kyle watches her, a smile on his face as she smiles at him. 
“We talked a lot on this last deployment, and we agreed we would be stepping back a lot,” John comes to stand behind your chair, his hands rubbing up and down your back.
“But you’re the best at what you do… I’d feel terrible if something catastrophic happened because you were home instead of where you were needed.” You look between the 3 of them in front of you.
“Love, here is where we’re needed,” Simon frowns.
“We’ve been doing this for a long time, longer than most task forces. It’s about time we think about passing the baton to another task force anyways. We’ve been talking with Laswell and she’d sent us some files of teams she thinks would be a good fit. We would train them, and we would still be working on base. But we wouldn't be deploying as much, only when we were really needed.” Kyle adds.
“We’ve been asked to help train and teach new recruits, we’ve got a lot of experience in the field, and it's helpful for them to learn from people who have been out there, seen what we have. We’ll still be doing what we love, but we’ll get to come home to our family every night. You won't have to worry if we’ll be coming back every time we walk out the door. You’d get the help with the children, and we’d get to see them more. Spend time with them. We’ve missed a lot over the years and we don't want to miss anymore.” Simon runs hand through his blonde hair, and your eyes fill with tears. 
“You’re not just doing it for me right? You want to step back right?” You look over your shoulder at John. 
“You’re part of the reason, but we’ve all taken a beating over the years. And it was getting time for us to retire anyways, we’re just doing it a few years earlier. But trust us Darling, we want to be home. Being out there doesn't give us the same thrill it did years ago. Being here, with you, that's what we look forward to.” John runs his fingers through your hair, and you nod. 
“Okay,” you breathe, your eyes falling to the flipped over test. 
“No matter what it says, we’ll be okay,” Kyle reaches across the table and rubs his fingers over your knuckles. 
“What do you want it to say?” Simon asks, drawing your attention to him. 
You chew your bottom lip, what did you want it to say?
You were happy with the 5 beautiful children you had. The twins, Isla, Theo and Hope, they were amazing children and you loved watching them everyday. But your family didn't feel complete. You didn't feel done, your heart still longed for more.You loved how close the kids you had now were, they were never alone, they always had someone to play with. And when the time came and none of you were around, they would still have each other. 
“I want more,” you finally answer, and all 4 of the men in your life smile. 
“Even if it's negative, we’ll keep trying okay?” John kisses the top of your head. Taking one last deep breath you reach forward and pick up the test. You look at all of them as they wait for you to flip it over. 
Your hands shake slightly as you flip over the little blue test, 5 sets of eyes peer down at the small screen. 
‘Pregnant, 3+’ stares back at you. 
Johnny is the first to move as he nearly climbs over Kyle and John to get to you. His arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you from the chair, and spins you around. His face is buried in your neck as he holds you tight. 
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he mumbles as he presses his lips to yours. 
“Get out of the way MacTavish,” John grumbles as he pulls you from Soap and into his arms, he presses a kiss to your lips as well. “I love you, thank you for giving us another.
“You don't have to thank me,” You laugh as you kiss him back.
Kyle is next, his hands settling on your waist as he pulls you in, his lips finding yours. “We do, because you’ve already given us 5, and we would never ask for more if it wasn't what you wanted.” 
Simon is the last, he pulls you in, his large hands on your hips as he leans down, his forehead bumping yours as you share a breath there. “You sure this is what you want?” He asks softly, you can hear the others move about the kitchen. Kyle takes Hope to put her shoes on. John and Soap call up the stairs for the older children to get their backpacks as they slip their lunchboxes into them.
“I’m sure,” you smile, “I want this.”
“As long as you’re sure,” Simon presses a kiss to your mouth before he hugs you tight. You wrap your arms around him, leaning your head on his chest. 
The sounds of footsteps running down the stairs pull you away, Isla, Kira, and Joseph file into the kitchen, their backpacks on, all dressed for school.
“We’re ready, can we all go to the bus stop this morning?” Joseph asks, looking between you and Simon.
“Sure bud, let me just put my shoes on,” you smile, you walk down the hall to grab your shoes and pull them on. The rest of your family waits, as you tie your sneakers.  John holds Hope in his arms, Simon holds Theo’s hand, Johnny and Kyle head out the door first. The children followed. You fall in step in the middle of your group, it was warm today. Warmer than normal for this time of year, but you didn't mind it. Although the unusual warmth usually brought thunderstorms. 
Those you weren’t too fond of. 
As you approach the bus stop you see the normal group of parents waiting with their children. Maria stands next to her two older boys standing with a group of friends, Piper sits on the grass, her little head lifting as you all approach. She waves enthusiastically to Theo, and Theo pulls away from Simon. Running as fast as his little legs will carry him to his friend. They sit in the grass, building a stack of rocks to see who can get it higher. 
Maria looks at you, a giant smile on her face as she sees your husband’s with you. 
“I see they came back!” she exclaims, as you and the others stop a few steps from her.
“Pleasure to see you again Maria,” John hugs her.
“Glad you made it back,” she smiles, hugging each of them, even Simon who stiffly hugs her back.
“We’ll be around a lot more,” Johnny smiles, his arm snaking around your waist as he pulls you into his side. 
“Oh?” Maria looks at them.
“We’re stepping back, we have much more important things here,” John explains, and Maria nods.
“I’m glad you’ll be around more,” she eyes you suspiciously. “Are you still going to tell me I'm wrong?” She gives you a pointed look.
“Ma- y- how does everyone always know before me! It's my bloody body.” You grumble, and Soap laughs. 
“We know what to look for,” Kyle kisses the side of your head.
“I just knew because even though you looked knackered, you still looked like you were glowing,” Maria laughs.
“Simon figured it out because of my coffee,” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest. 
“I'm happy for you, dear. If you need anything let me know. Although I wonder how you’ll fit another in that house of yours. You’re quickly outgrowing it,” Maria adds as the bus pulls up. The older children all race off to get onto it, and wave you as they all climb on. 
“We haven't figured that much out yet,” you shrug, “I'm sure we’ll think of something.”
“I’m sure you will,” she hugs you. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” you hug her back.
“C’mon Theo! Time to go,” Simon calls and the small boy hugs his friend before he races over. 
You wave again to Maria and begin the walk back to the house, Hope having fallen asleep in John's arms. Her brown hair falling into her face as she sleeps peacefully. You look between the four men that walk with you.
“What are we going to do about the room… we don't have any more bedrooms.” You place your hand on your still flat stomach. How long did you have to prepare?
Where would you even put a baby? 
Isla still had her own room, and sure you could move Theo into there, but he still wasn't a good sleeper and you didn't want to ruin her sleep by him waking up. 
You could move the new baby into Hope's room with her but it might still cause problems with how frequently new babies wake up. She would be almost three and a half by the time the baby was going to be ready for their own room. And you certainly were going to need a bigger dining room table to be able to fit everyone. 
“We can always move, we’ve talked about moving in the past. Wanting to get out into the countryside more.  It would be a good time to buy right now anyways, interest rates are low. And I'm sure there’s something out in the rural parts that would be plenty big enough for us, and we can always add on. We don't really have enough land with the current house to add on, we’d be building too close to the neighbors.” John explains, as you get to the end of your driveway.
You stare at your house, you’ve been in it for 5 years, having moved in when you were pregnant with Isla, a month before she was due. The twins were still babies themselves. You loved the house, but it was too small for such a large family. With only 5 bedrooms, and 3 bathrooms it was becoming crowded. Your kitchen, although big enough for now, wasn't going to be able to accommodate everyone for much longer. And you always wanted a house with lots of land for the kids to play in. You had a decent sized yard now but it was nowhere near big enough for the swingset the kids kept asking for. 
And it wasn't like it was a small house. It had almost 3000 sqft, but when you have 5 children and one (possibly 2) on the way. You needed something bigger. Something with room to grow. 
“Okay, we’ll start looking at listings.” 
“So we’re gonna move?” Simon confirms.
“We’re moving,”
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exoticbvnni · 2 days
Text
I’m not the one you should be mad at | J.Y.
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Jang Yunho x fem!reader
Summary:your ex boyfriend fooled you once again,however Yunho will take care of it
Warnings:break up,angst,fingering,prise kink,unprotected sex (don’t do it guys!),smut
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You stepped into Yunho’s apartment,slamming the door before throwing your jacket on his couch:you were on the edge of tears.
You felt so stupid for coming back to your ex again,no matter how badly he had treated you while dating,and no matter how many times he had simply used you even after breaking up.
“Already back? I thought you would’ve spent the rest of the night at his place” Yunho stepped in the living room; as you could tell by his wet hair,the clean black shirt and the new gym trousers he was wearing, he had just taken a shower.
“I’m done with him!” you exclaimed,mad,walking to the kitchen in order to pour yourself a glass of water.
You tried to fight back the urge to cry,however tears started streaming down your face as soon as you opened the fridge. What a crybaby, you thought,but you deserved it for being such an idiot.
“You said the same thing last week,and the week before,and the one before…” Yunho spoke,resting his back against the kitchen counter.
“I’m serious this time!” you exclaimed,walking towards him. The height difference showing as soon as only a few inches distanced the two of you.
The brunette giggled,shaking his head:
“I’ve already heard that. I don’t believe you”
“I said that I’m serious now! Look at me!” you pointed at your tears.
Yunho stared at you,his eyes were cold:
“Whatever… -the brunette mumbled,walking past you to go to his room-the fridge is empty,if you wanna sleep over order dinner for yourself. I’ve already ordered pizza for me” he explained,disappearing.
“Fuck you and your damn pizza! -you exclaimed,sitting on the couch-thank you for being an asshole today…” you then whispered to yourself,sobbing hard.
You sat there crying for thirty minutes,eyes lost wandering from an undefined point of the floor to another, and a hand holding onto you phone as if you were thinking about what to have for dinner when your mind was just empty.
Why did you believe to your ex again? Why you didn’t expect him to call you only for sex and not to give your relationship a second chance? He didn’t care about you anymore,you had turned into his little toy,so why would you bother to listen to him? He had been playing with you for six months now,yet you would always come back to him.
Why were you so stupid? Still so in love? And why was Yunho so cold? Why wasn’t he comforting you like he had always done? Why wasn’t he hugging you? Wiping your tears away? Why wasn’t he reassuring you? Was he mad at you? Was he just mad in general?
You grabbed a pillow, throwing it to the ground as you yelled, angry. You needed to let it go…to make sure that Yunho was listening to you, so he could come and give you the comfort you were seeking. It didn’t happen,tho.
“Don’t yell,my neighbour will complain” he spoke coldly,appearing on the entrance of the living room. He rested a shoulder against the door frame and slid his hands in the pockets of his trousers.
“What’s your fucking problem?” you growled,getting up from the couch just to walk towards the boy.
“What are you talking about?” he demanded
“Why are you acting like a prick?” fire was burning in your eyes,but Yunho didn’t react.
“Like a prick? I’m not the one you should be mad at” he shrugged his shoulders, ready to walk away when you grabbed his forearm:
“Tell me what’s your fucking problem!” you screamed again,tears still rolling down your cheeks
“What’s your problem if anything! -he yelled back,recomposing himself immediately after- you’re just frustrated because I’m not running to save you. That’s why you’re throwing a tantrum” he shrugged your hand off,but you held on.
“I’ve been fucking played and you’re making it worse!”
“Yes! You’ve been fucking played,congrats on waking up after six months y/n! What am I supposed to do,uh? Wipe your tears,tell you that it’s not your fault and that everything will get better just to get laid in my fucking bed? That shit is over!
I tried Y/n, I tried so hard to stay by your side when you needed it, I tried so hard to become something more than your post-break-up fuck buddy. I accepted to have sex with you,gaslighting myself into believing that maybe,maybe if I held on and took care of your wounds you would’ve seen me in a different light; but it didn’t happen. All you cared about was that fucking idiot. I won’t be here wiping your tears again after you brought this on yourself, running to him anytime he was horny and needy. I’m tired -he pushed you away- get home. I changed my mind,I won’t allow you to sleep here tonight. I need to be alone”
“You need to be alone?! Fucking narcissistic, I’m devastated and all you can think about is yourself?!“ you were getting more and more mad
“Narcissistic?! You are a narcissistic! Have you ever thought about how I could feel? Have you ever thought about how much energy I put into this just to get nothing in return?”
“You can’t expect people to fall in love with you just because you help them,how sick is that logic?!” your hands were wandering in the air, there was no control in your movements as you were blinded by pain and anger
“I did not expect you to fall in love with me..but to get at least a thank you,hell if I did;but no,no,you couldn’t say thank you,you couldn’t percieve me as an actual person,you were so busy thinking about that idiot that all I was seen as was just a damn rebound!” Yunho walked closer,making you step back,hitting the couch.
“I never considered you a rebound” you justified yourself,holding onto the backrest of the sofa.
“Your actions said otherwise -he bit back,staring into your soul- and I’m over”
From his eyes,you could see how painful it had been for him,how hurt,and angry,he was right now.
Maybe he was right:maybe you did act like he was a rebound,the one you wanted to run to only when you needed someone to put the pieces of your heart together;but you had never been aware of it.
“I don’t want you to be over” you spoke,holding onto the cloth of his shirt.
You were stuck between the couch and his body,with his warm breath caressing your cold skin.
“Why? -the brunette paused- Cuz you want an unconditional emotional support? Or -he pushed his lower abdomen against yours- or because you need me to make you moan out loud?”.
Your breath got stuck in your throat as the two of you stared into each other’s eyes for an eternity of seconds.
“Answer me” Yunho mumbled
You didn’t say a word
“Answer me!” he repeated himself
Still nothing.
“I hate you” he then mumbled, almost broken
“Me too” you replied,smashing your lips against his.
He was right:you did need him…but,after all,he needed you as well.
A moan of yours filled the air as soon as Yunho’s strong hands rested on your hips,moving your body from the couch to the wall,pushing your back against the cold surface as his lips sucked yours; his tongue twirling in your pretty mouth.
You grabbed the cloth of his shirt,stripping him out of it by lifting it up from the back.
Without breaking the kiss,your hands wander along his torso,feeling his muscles tensing at every movement.
Again,Yunho grabbed you by your hips,this time just to lead you to his bedroom and push you on his bad.
“I don’t wanna see you ever again after tonight” he whispered,kissing your neck;his hand was already wandering in between your thighs.
You didn’t answer, you just dragged him closer,stroking your lower abdomen against his as he moaned in your neck,biting his favourite spot:the skin upon your right collarbone.
Yunho’s hand went up your torso,getting rid of your top to leave you in your white bra and white skirt:
“My favourite colour” he commented,starting to suck your shoulder immediately after.
Again,the hand on your torso went up,squeezing your breast,stroking the cloth of your lingerie while he couldn’t stop grinding his crotch against your panties.
“Stop teasing” you panted,unbuckling his belt. You weren’t sure of what you were doing since your head was thrown back and your mind was foggy.
Yunho smirked and laughed, moving your hand away to get undressed on his own:
“Sometimes I wonder if your ex had ever gotten you so worked up in such a short time” he bit his lips,freeing your body from his grip for a second just to take off his gym trousers.
“Yunho…” you mewled,holding onto the sheets as you were already missing his touch.
“He didn’t,did he? Or you wouldn’t have fucked with me so often when he used to call you for that” he spoke again,going back to suck on your neck,which was now covered in purple marks.
“Yunho…Yunho…” you repeated his name as a mantra while he unbuttoned the strap of your bra to let it fall down the bad.
“What do you want darling? Speak up” he groaned,kissing your chest,right between your breast,before twirling his tongue around your nipple and then lick your tummy.
“Your fingers…please” you slid your hand down your body,under your skirt,realising how wet you already were.
Yunho was right:for how much you loved your ex,he had never gotten you so worked up. You had always had to do that on your own,focused on the idea to please him instead of creating a mutual relationship.
“I know angel, I know you love it” he whispered,going more and more down on you,until his lips started kissing your inner thigh, close to your wetness.
“Yunho…” you cried again, head still thrown back.
The boy stroked his knuckles against the cloth of your panties,moving it aside before sliding a finger inside you.
You moaned out loud,holding onto his shoulders to release the tension pleasure had rose in your body.
“Fuck” you whined,music to Yunho’s ear.
The boy lifted his head,admiring your red,flushed cheeks and your slightly open mouth. He knew you were feeling good,but he also knew that you wanted more:he knew you,he knew how eager you were for his fingers; that was why he decided to slid in another one,making you moan louder.
“Fuck,fuck!” you cried again,coming undone on Yunho’s hand.
The brunette smirked,licking his fingers,kissing your lips.
“Good girl -he moved to the angle of your mouth,leaving another kiss also in that spot- do you think you can hold on a little longer?” he asked,sure that you would’ve said yes,as always. However,this time,you got so high that you could barely talk.
“Y/n?” Yunho called you,worried as he gently stroked you cheek,waiting for you to stop panting and open your eyes:
“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” he asked,worried,but you shook your head.
“Are you sure?” he asked again,you nodded
“You didn’t-you didn’t come yet” you whispered
“I won’t keep on if, today, you can’t handle it” he moved a few strands of sweaty hair away from your face;you shook your head again,kissing him.
“Don’t stop,please” you whispered,stroking your hips against his.
Immediately, the light in Yunho’s eyes changed as the boy started sucking your skin one more time,making you moan,going down and down until his tongue met your intimacy.
“Yes,please,I need you!” you mumbled,bucking yourself against him
“Stay still angel,I can’t make you feel good if you move” he groaned,blocking your body against the bed with his huge hands.
You bit your lips,enjoying his teasing until,finally,you felt his fingers lift your skirt to then grab your legs.
Yunho smirked,looking down at you before pecking your lips and move, for the second time,your panties aside.
“Gonna make you feel so good” he groaned into the crook of your neck,getting inside of you.
“Fuck,Yunho” you mewled,almost in pain:no matter how many times you had taken him,you still needed time to adjust to his size.
Once he had understood that you were finally okay,he started moving his hips,slowly,scared to cross the line as you had almost passed away a few minutes before;however,your moans and half eaten up prayers to move faster, made him go feral.
The room was filled with grunts:Yunho couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful you were anytime he had sex with you;you always came so undone for him and only him. It was his biggest turn on:your pretty o shaped lips,the sweaty hair spread all over his bed,your moans, and those eyes shut in pleasure. It was heaven for him:it was heaven for him knowing that you were feeling so good.
“Fuck,I’m about to come” he suddenly muttered as his movements got sloppier.
He looked at you one last time,knowing,thanks to your contracted expression,that you were close as well.
A few last moans filled the air,then your release came,followed by Yunho’s.
The brunette panted,resting his forehead on your shoulder before laying down next to you.
Again,it took you a while before coming down from your highness,and Yunho noticed,that was why he started caressing you slowly,kissing your forehead and talking sweetly:
“It’s okay angel,just stay with me,can you hear my voice?” he asked,you nodded,sliding your body closer to his to be welcomed in his warm embrace.
“Are you okay? Was I too rough? Or did I teased you too much today?” he demanded,caressing your hair
“It’s okay -you mumbled,tired- you were perfect -you paused- I’m sorry…”
“Sorry? For what? For not carrying it out like you always do?” Yunho asked,confused
“No…for making you feel like a rebound. You were right,I did that,but I wasn’t aware of it. I was…”
“You were in love. But,please,next time don’t let your feelings fool you again” Yunho kissed your temple.
You shook your head,wrapping your arms around his waist:
“I won’t. You were right when you said that I kept coming back to you just to be comforted. I needed it so bad,I…I needed you so bad -you lifted your head- and I still do. But not because of sex,or because I need an emotional support,only because…-you gulped- only because you’ve become my safe place -you admitted, wiping a tear away- I don’t think I’ve realised it before you told me. I don’t understand why I could be fooled so easily. Now that I think about it,my ex never really cared about me. I was always the one giving everything to him in every aspect of out relationship,from support to sex. Even there he acted like a selfish prick,yet I kept going back to him” you were now crying in Yunho’s chest.
The boy slid on his right side,keeping you close,caressing your back to comfort you,to let you know that he was there.
“Now that you’ve realised it, you broke the cycle. It’s a good thing,next time you won’t believe him;but, please,and this time I am not referring only to myself,remember that only because someone took too much from us without giving anything in return,it doesn’t mean that we’re supposed to do the same with those who are close to us” the brunette pointed out,sweetly, caressing your cheek.
“You are right -you sat,looking down at him- I’m sorry Yunho,for everything. I promise that from now on I’ll treat you right…if you still want me around” you crossed your legs.
Yunho mirrored you,sitting. He then dragged you into a long hug:
“Of course I want you around. I love you,y/n” he kissed your temple
“I love you too,Yunho. Thank you for everything” you kissed him back,hugging him tightly. You would have never hurt him again.
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crilbyte · 13 hours
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Hi, I was wondering if you could do an Alastor x reader one-shot inspired by the song 'Don't you dare make me fall in love with you' by Kaden MacKay?
Ooooh my gosh, I love this! This is so cute. I love the idea of an angrily lovesick alastor.
I wasn't sure if you wanted a smutty oneshot or not, so I stopped right before it. But if you'd like me to finish it lemme know!
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Everything had been going so well. He'd wormed his way into the hotel, Charlie trusted him, he'd even gotten her to make a deal with him. Everything had been going according to plan. Until YOU showed up.
At first it wasn't so bad. Sure, you were pretty and intelligent and the only one who could make a decent cup of coffee in the whole hotel. Sure you were funny and sweet and the only one he could stand to sit with in the study to read. You were quiet when it called for it and loud when it was okay. That was all.
But then Alastor started noticing when you weren't there instead of just when you were. He began to schedule when he would read by the fire in the study for when he'd know you were there. It was one of these times that made him realize something might be wrong with him.
Alastor went to the study, ready to read silently alongside you as you both usually did at this time only to find you missing. It was then that he heard Charlie and Angels voices from outside in the hall.
“...no, she's just taking it really hard,” Charlie says softly.
“It’s not her fault,” Angel insists. “Girl needs to chill.”
“You know how she is, her reason for being down here is pretty different from most people's.”
“Yeah, I get that an’ all… But it's still *not* her fault. That crazy motherfucker deserved what he got. Fuck him.”
“Still, she’s just like this. She feels responsible for his death, even if he arguably did deserve it.”
“So, now what? Do we just let it play out?” Angel asks, seemingly sincere.
“I… I don't know,” Charlie sighs, exasperated. “I tried to talk to her, but she won't let me into her room. She’s locked herself in. So, yeah I guess…”
*So… you are in her room were you?* Alastor thought, already beginning to fade into shadows. Then that’s where he would go…
He hadn't even fully corporealized before he could hear the quiet sobs. Alastor slowly approaches the lump in the bed, a curled-up you hiding under the covers like a scared child. He sits beside you, a gentle hand on what he assumes is your head.
“My dear, what troubles you so…?” His crackled voice asks.
With a jump, you throw the covers off of your head, not having realized he was there. The look of shock on your face would have been quite amusing if it wasn't layered over red puffy eyes and an even more pallid complexion than you usually had.
“Alastor!” you chirp, quickly looking away and wiping your eyes. “W-what are you doing here? I thought I locked the door.”
“Indeed you did, luckily I am not bound by such trivial things,” Alastor replies proudly.
You give him a slightly irritated look. He’d take it; it was better than crying.
“I overheard that you were inconsolable up here, wouldn't even let Charlie in. That’s typically my cue to step in. So do tell, what can I do for you? My purpose here is to help after all.”
You give him a skeptical look. This wasn't exactly out of character for Alastor, but you know better than to assume that he would ever do anything purely out of the kindness of his heart.
“I'm not making any deals with you, Alastor,” you say, turning away from him and pulling the covers up to your shoulders.
“Who said anything about a deal?” He replies, only inches from your face.
You scream, jumping up to a sitting position. “Hell’s sake, Alastor. I wish you wouldn't do that.”
Alastor didn't reply, instead choosing to tilt his head with a closed-mouth smile.
With a sigh, you seem to give up. You look down at the sheets, your finger tracing an embroidered pattern on the duvet. “It’s about why I'm down here” you finally admit. “It's… just hard. It's the anniversary of when it happened and it's just…”
“Let me see if I've got this straight,” Alastor asks, spinning his cane. “You feel guilty for the sin that brought you here?”
You nod silently.
“And what exactly was that?”
You look up at him, nervously. “Murder…”
Alastor's eyes glint. He would never have guessed. “And what caused you to do such a… heinous crime against God?”
“He was a friend of my brothers. He was trying to blackmail me into… into doing porn for him.”
“So you murdered a man who'd threatened you?”
You nod. “And other girls.”
“Bit of a pimp, then eh?” He grins, sounds like you did the world a favor.”
You’re taken aback by that, you hadn't even considered that. You look down at the bed, little sniffles being the only sound between the two of you. Alastor moves closer, taking your chin in his thumb and first finger, forcing you to look at him.
“Now… I believe I asked you a question,” he chirps out, voice low and ridden with static. “What do you need? Your any desire is mine to fulfill. No deals necessary.”
You just stare up at him, stunned. There had to be a catch, right? Alastor was not *kind*. He didn't do things for no reason. His goal was always to further his own plans. But no matter how much you try, you can't figure out what he could get out of this, besides your trust.
“Come, my dear. Surely there's something, anything I can do to help,” he tries one last time.
The words fall from your mouth before you can stop them. “Stay with me tonight…”
Alastor pulls back slightly, eyes widening, his grin still present, but nervous. “You want me to…stay?” He asks.
You just nod, moving towards him. “Please?”
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Wait, wait, wait,” Rosie throws her hands up, waving them. “She wanted you to stay the night?”
Alastor takes a sip of his coffee, nodding.
“So how'd she take the rejection?” She asks playfully, raising an eyebrow.
“Whatever do you mean?” Alastor questions, lightly placing his cup back on its saucer.
“Well you didn't sleep with her,” she says with a scoff.
Alastor doesn't respond, instead taking another sip from his cup.
Rosie's eyes grow. “Alastor. You didn't.” Her hand flies up to cover her mouth in shock.
“I did as she asked. I'm not one to go back on a promise.”
“And… so… what was it like?” She asks, genuinely interested now.
He ponders, eyes looking off into the middle distance with thought as his brows pull together. “Warm?”
Rosie chokes on her tea.
“I haven't slept that well in a long time, frankly. It's not something I've ever been interested in before.”
“I'm well aware,” she all but stutters out.
Alastor takes another long sip from his coffee before continuing. “Since then, she’s had me stay with her every night this week. Which is the subject of the advice I came to you for.”
Stunned silence. Rosie can't think of a single word. She had not expected this. Instead, she just nods, motioning for him to continue.
“At least she doesn't snore,” he jokes, his canned radio laughter echoing.
“She doesn't…” Rosie blinks a few times, realization setting in. “Wait, so you didn't…”
“Hmm?” Alastor raises an eyebrow, peering at Rosie over his monocle. “Didn't what, my dear?”
“*Sex* dear,” she says bluntly, smirking.
Alastor's eyes are suddenly as wide as Rosie had ever seen them. With his trademark grin still plastered on his face, it was a pretty comedic expression.
“Oh, no, no,” Alastor says through a laugh once his initial shock wears off. “Absolutely not, no. I have no interest in such things. No, no.”
Rosie's grin grows as she squints at her old friend, analyzing every word, every moment. Something was off, and then it struck her.
“Darlin’, you’re dizzy with her,” she says flatly, sipping her tea.
Her words actually silence him for a moment. She couldn't mean that. She was wrong.
“You must be mistaken,” he says, attempting to brush the comment off while readjusting the silverware on the table.
“Well, let's just think about it for a minute. You like her, right?”
“Indeed. She's intelligent, powerful, and quite the little spitfire when she wants to be,” he admits readily.
“And you like being around her? She doesn't make you uncomfortable?”
“Quite the opposite. She goes out of her way to ensure that I am quite comfortable.”
“Al, I think you love this girl,” she says with a squeak of barely contained excitement.
"No,” he says a little more forcefully than intended. “I do not love her. I *like* her, I will readily admit that. But I do not love her. I don't love anyone. I only find it enjoyable to be around her, and I attempt to do what I can for her to be happy and fulfill this silly desire of hers to accend.”
“And you are willing to brutally murder anyone who gets in the way of that..." She adds.
Alastor makes a point not to acknowledge her statement.
“Oh sweetie, honey, darling,” she coos teasingly, reaching a hand out on the table to him. “That’s how I felt about my dear Franklin. Well, before things grew cold between us and he had that *horrible accident~.*”
Alastor's smile is unwavering, but his eyes give away quite a bit. He was thinking, fighting these suggestions in his head, but he trusted Rosie. She'd never done him wrong before. In fact she had even gone out of her way for him on multiple occasions. If she was saying it, she meant it.
“If any other soul in this realm spoke those words to me…” he trails off, but Rosie understands.
“I might be off the mark,” she admits, throwing her hands up. “But promise me you’ll think about it. After everything that girl has gone through, she deserves at least that much.”
The walk home is far from peaceful. Alastor’s mind is plagued with thoughts of his conversation with Rosie. She was one of the only souls in hell he would ever admit to feeling anything even remotely close to “trust” in. He wants to scoff, wave away such frivolous accusations and move along; but when he tries, something deep in his brain tugs at him. Like a hook stuck in a fish that was too stubborn to be reeled in.
With a heavy sigh, Alastor walks into the hotel. There are more sinners there than usual. The sight lifted his spirits, Charlie would be happy. Though quickly his grin twists to one of chagrin. It happened again. What was this? Surely Rosie wasn't right. He knew himself. He was The Radio Demon, one of the most feared overlords in hell, serial killer, and cannibal. There was no way that he-
Alastor’s eyes lock onto you, standing at the bar, back against the wall, hands up in a defensive position while some… *kreatin* stood in front of you, fist against the wall beside your head, keeping you there. He was suddenly boiling with rage. His grin shifts to a sneer, antlers growing steadily as his legs take him closer to the offending and soon-to-be *deceased* sinner.
“No, I’m sorry, I really don't want any…” he hears your non-confrontational voice and his throat burns.
“Come on,” the man’s gravely voice insists. “What’s one drink? It's on me.”
“I believe the lady said N͇̱͐̿͛́o̷͖̤̺̥͈̲̓̓.̢͙̼͈̝ͫ͊̋ͅ.” Alastor’s voice contorts, his eyes turning to dials as he grows in size.
The man stutters, mumbling out apologies before turning and quickly attempting to escape. Alastor made to follow but feels tiny hands on him, turning harshly to see who dared to stop him, only to see your small form hugging his arm. It was as though you had poured cold water over him. He shrinks back down to size, his grin shifting from its twisted form to a much softer one as he takes in your trembling frame.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
He reaches a hand up and pats your head gently and you grip him tighter.
“Thank you, Alastor…Thank you.”
Alastor closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose.
*Fuck*…
The next week was difficult…
It was as if everything was conspiring together to find new and unique ways to piss Alastor off. Between having to restrain himself from tearing to shreds and devouring a new resident at the hotel after he disturbed you with extremely inappropriate remarks one fateful afternoon, and him finding himself genuinely happy at the sight of you when you were telling Charlie about it later… It felt as though his sanity was being used as a yo-yo. But this was not the end of it, or even the worst of it to come.
On one quiet afternoon, Alastor is sitting in the study, reading a book and sipping coffee, relaxing. Or at least, he *had* been relaxing. It was rather difficult to unwind when you are being watched.
Out of the corner of his eye, Alastor can see Charlie peeking in through the doorway. Each time he looks up to welcome her in, she disappears. She even begins just walking past the doorway over and over as though she is trying to work up the courage to go in, only to change her mind at the last second. After about ten minutes of this cat-and-mouse game, Alastor can't take it anymore.
“Are you going to enter, my dear, or are you planning on just staring the entire night?” He asks, not looking up from his book.
“O-oh. Sorry,” Charlie enters sheepishly, walking to sit in a nearby plush chair.
“So what brings you to me this afternoon?” Alastor asks, closing his book and placing it on the little table beside him.
“Um,” she looks down at her hands which are stuck between her thighs. She really did seem quite nervous. “I wanted to ask you for some advice?”
He perks at that. “Of course, my dear. Ask away, I’m always happy to help.”
“It's for a friend of mine.”
Okay, that doesn't narrow anything down, he thinks.
“A mutual friend of ours,” she continues.
And that narrows it down considerably. So she is talking about you, Alastor decides.
“Yes, and what problem does our friend have.
“Okay, so… There’s this guy…”
It was as though a hole opened in his chest. Three little words. Why had they affected him so strongly? He needed to quash this ridiculous and frivolous emotion.
“And you came to me?” He asks, examining his claws. “My dear, I'm hardly the sentimental type.”
“Well, he’s uh, a lot like you. Old fashioned, proper.” She looks so nervous to be asking him this, her face is red, which was quite noticeable with her pale complexion. “She… she *really* likes him, but she doesn't know how to tell him. So I hoped maybe you could help me give her some advice…?”
Alastor wants nothing more than to ask this man’s name and hunt him down.
The thought causes him to pause. What a strange intrusive thought. He attempts to shake it off, turning his attention back to Charlie.
“Well,” he begins. “That isn't much to go on.” Alastor crosses his legs, it feels as though he was trying to tie himself into a knot. What an annoying feeling.
“Ok, so… he’s smart and generous um…” Charlie bites her lip, “Funny?”
Alastor remains silent, this isn't very useful information.
“Is he a sinner, dear?” he inquires.
Charlie perks at that. “Oh, yes actually.”
He has to suppress a growl. *So it was some lowly human then,* He thinks as though he in't the same. He attempts some deduction. A sinner who identifies as male. Old-fashioned. Proper… That likely ruled out the recently deceased. Apparently “smart” and “funny”. Though Alastor mused he couldn’t be *that” smart to have ended up on his shit-list. He was beginning to compile a list of suspects. Just as he was about to ask another probing question, there came a voice from the door.
“Hey, Charlie, there’s some new girl here who swears that you told her she could have a room with a jacuzzi?” Angel says incredulously. “Bitch, if we have rooms with jacuzzis why the *fuck* am I staying in a traditional fucking suite?”
“Oh, uh, I think she may have misunderstood,” Charlie begins before turning to Alastor. “Sorry, I think I’ll have to deal with this personally… Thanks for listening, but, honestly… you can forget it. It’s not that important anyway.”
With that, she stands and leaves, though through the doorway Alastor can swear he saw Angel playfully elbow her ribs, though he couldn't begin to guess what that was about.
A sinner who was smart, generous, and funny. This was sounding less and less like someone who would have ended up in hell. He would do more reconnaissance later. For now, he wanted to prepare for his radio show tomorrow, hoping it could take his mind off this itching feeling in the back of his head.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
It's quiet in Alastor’s room. The only sounds coming from the ticking of his grandfather clock and the quiet sounds of jazz from his gramophone. It had been a rough day, well… a rough fewI days. But this afternoon seemed to be going more his way, he thought. At least until he hears a knock at his door.
Alastor sighs, letting his head fall over the back of his chair. Who could it possibly be at this hour? After so much inner turmoil, he had very much wished to just relax in his room. It seemed as though even that was asking too much. Alastor steadies himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, and stands. He opens the door only to be surprised. Outside stood a very nervous looking Charlie. With a quirk of his brow; Alastor's grin grows.
“And what, may I ask, brings you to my humble abode at such a late hour?” He asks.
“Well,” she begins with a twitchy look in her eye. “Tomorrow we're doing a sort of graduation party,” she begins to explain how she has a surprise party planned for you, that your progress was so much faster than she could have ever assumed and so she wanted to throw you a party before you disappeared up to heaven.
Each new word from her mouth felt like another weight added to the chain that threatened to drag Alastor down into some deeper pit of hell itself.
“You think she'll be heavenbound soon?” He asks, his mouth dry.
“Yes!” She replies cheerfully. “The rain she was down here to begin with was pretty shakey, anyway. To be honest, I'm surprised it's taken this long.”
“You'll have to excuse me, my dear, but I've just remembered I have something very important to take care of,” Alastor says with a harsh smile.
“But I haven't even asked what I came here to-” Charlie attempts to finish, but is cut off as the door closes in her face.
With a determination he hadn't felt in a long time, Alastor turns and I'm stalks towards his table, picking up his book and returning it to its shelf before dissolving into Shadow. He doesn't reappear outside your door, or even attempt to knock. Instead he apparates directly into your room. Luckily you were looking in the direction his shape takes form in so you're not quite as startled by his sudden appearance, even if it does shake you slightly, seeing as how you're in bed and in your nightgown.
“Alastor?” You ask as he solidifies and steps towards you.
"Darling," He whispers, a small smirk on his face at your state of undress. "I'm here to make a deal…”
"a deal...? with me?" You ask, curious.
"Yes, my dear," He murmurs, his tone turning serious. "Charlie has informed me that your ascension is nearing. I have come to persuade you to… make a different choice.”
You cock an eyebrow at him. "Oh... she said that?" You ask. "And why... is that?"
Alastor takes a step closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Because, I'd be... lonely, without you here. I've grown fond of your quiet presence, and I don't like the thought of going back to solitude.”
You tilt your head. "But you have Charlie, aren't you and her quite close?"
Alastor pauses for a moment at your question, his eyes narrowing slightly. He never thought you would question his reasoning.
"She... it isn't the same," He growls. "I want you, here... always, keeping me... sane." A hint of sadness crosses his face, but it's quickly replaced by a smirk. "Charlie and I have... similar goals. But we are not close. She doesn't need me the way you do... and she certainly doesn't have... my tastes" He says, taking another step towards you.
You give up on this line of questioning and instead start a new one.
"So you want to make a deal for my soul?" you ask. "You get my soul and in return I can have... anything I want?”
Alastor smiles again, but more genuinely this time. "Yes... that's what I'm proposing. Your soul, in exchange for anything your heart desires." He says with a grin, sitting down on your bed and holding out a hand towards you. "Do we have a deal?”
You feel the static in the air, the sound seeming to fill your ears like a flood as he leans towards you. You watch as his antlers slowly grow and green scratch marks appear in the air, forming into unfamiliar symbols that flash in and out. You look down at his hand, your gaze steeling before you tentatively reach out, but then pause. Just as he thinks you might pull back, you do the opposite, confidently gripping his hand and looking at him with a determined glint in your eyes.
"Deal.”
Alastor chuckles low as you accept his hand and the deal. The static intensifies as he grips your hand back, pulling you closer to him. The symbols in the air flare brightly for a moment before they vanish, leaving a faint glow that's slow to fade. You watch as the green stitching appears in his lips, a gold contract and a quill appearing between you.
You take the pen and sign your name without hesitation. The moment the last letter is written, a flash of green light fills the room and you feel a heavy weight settle around your neck as a neon green collar appears there. The chain attached to it leading to Alastor's still outstretched hand.
Alastor chuckles again as the collar settles around your neck, tugging on it playfully. He brings his free hand up to trace a finger along the chain, watching it with interest before he looks back at you.
"The weight of your decision…” he says. You watch his finger as it slides down the chain, your body leaning towards him. Alastor's finger hooks into the collar, pulling a little harder, causing your body to lean closer to him still. "...is now physically upon you," he finishes, a dark glint in his eyes as he studies you. He leans in close, whispering seductively, "And what could you possibly want so badly you'd be willing to trade your soul for it without a second thought?”
"If I tell you, you can't go back on it right?" You ask, your eyes boring into his. "Just like I can't go back on the deal, you can't either, correct?”
Alastor smirks, a wicked and sinister expression taking over his features. "That's right," he confirms, running his thumb along the collar before letting it fall from his fingers. "Once you've signed the contract, there's no going back. So go ahead. Tell me what is it that could tempt you so drastically. What did you desire?”
You're silent a moment, just staring at him, still leaned in close, before a single word falls from your lips.
"You…”
Alastor tilts his head slightly, processing your word as you stare at each other for a tense, long moment. Slowly, his lips curl into a small smirk.
"You desire me?" He repeats, an almost mocking tone in his voice, but his eyes tell a different story.
You nod, silently moving forward towards him, closing the distance between you. Alastor watches as you crawl across the bed towards him. Something flashes in his expression, but it's gone just as quick as it came. He moves his hand from your collar to the small of your back, pulling you gently closer by slowly reeling you in. Closer, until your body is almost flush with his, able to feel the rise and fall of his chest under his suit jacket, his lips a breath away from yours. You look up at him, blinking rapidly, mouth slightly open.
"Yes," you say in almost a whisper. "What I desire most... is you…”
Alastor closes his eyes, your words causing a visible shiver to run through him. He's quiet for a moment, just simply holding you close before he takes in a deep breath and finally crashes his lips against yours, a low moan rumbling in his chest. You gasp into the kiss, moaning. Alastor takes the chance to slip his tongue between your lips, tangling with yours as he pulls you closer against him. His hands move from your waist and up your back, pulling you impossibly close as he devours your mouth hungrily.
A groan escapes him as he can feel your tongue fighting his own for dominance. He finds he likes the challenge. Alastor chuckles against your lips, breaking the kiss for just a moment before diving back in, hands slipping up under your shirt to rest against the warmth of your skin. He matches your fight for dominance with his own, a growl rumbling through his chest as you continue.
Tonight, Alastor would claim full ownership of you...
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r0-boat · 2 days
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Oooo I just read your dark whb headcanons. can you please write a scenario where satan is going through a depressive episode and he accidentally hits and breaks the MC’s jaw? his and his nobles reactions? they have to go to paradise lost to get it fixed. all the angst please 🙏
I was waiting to do this one for a while because I wanted to be in the right headspace for some angst.
These demons are nice to you but my favorite part of this game is that demons act like demons.
Anyways enough chit chat let's get to it
Whb Satan blinded by rage hurts you.
Cw: mc gets attacked by Satan, Satan gives in to Rage, depression, not eating or drinking, Violence against Reader, blood
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Red. That's all he saw. Consumed by so much wrath He didn't even remember what caused him to be like this in the first place. All he remembers was hands holding him back and screams.
When he 'woke up' you were on the floor behind Leraye the normal happy Demon had a serious look in his eyes his teeth clenched as he stood firm as if waiting for something to happen. Sitri's arms holding him back. Sitri finally let him go and Satan crawled towards you. "Mc....B-baby? Are-are you ok? His voice shaking filled with fear, and worry. His claws painted red at the tips. You weren't moving , the panic started to set in. That's when he saw it. Blood and a bruised cheek... That was saying it lightly, The devil stumbled backward. Red eyes filled with pain his hands was shaking as he looked at them. He did this to you. That Scream was you, The realization almost made him throw up.
Leraye didn't want to oppose his king but he didn't want him to hurt you. And he didn't want you to die. So he was the one that contacted Lucifer... Sitri with all his strength held the rampaging King back. Demons have to remember that humans are more fragile than devils. If He got hurt he could just get back up with only minor redding But if Satan hit you???
When Lucifer heard about what had happened, He.Was.Pissed. He deemed that you were no longer safe in Gehenna. Normally Satan wouldn't give you up so easily, But he hurt you. How could he even face you? You were the last person he would ever want to hurt like this. Damn it. He was a monster. Sitri knew that Satan hurt you on accident. But He still hurt you. So he does not have an opinion. And he will gladly stop anyone who hurts you like that even his own king. You are unconscious, He thought you died! Only until, They all did Only until Sitri yelled "I still hear a beat!"
You stayed at Paradise lost under Lucifer's care while you recovered. Once you recovered he'll demand you stay for the time usually he would ask, but your life is in danger, and he does not trust what decision you make to be a sound one. Satan was lucky Lucifer allowed him from visiting altogether. But, the visits were supervised. Paimon did not like it that they were treating Satan as some kind of enraged beast. But he can't deny that he wouldn't have done the same if it was someone else's king.
Satan wants to see you but feel as though you would not want to see him. He still visits when you're unconscious. His hand still shakes out of fear he might accidentally hurt you again. He hadn't come out of his room since coming to see you. When he is not in his own bad, staring blankly at the wall, He is clawing up the walls of his room, his bed sheets, and his pillows are torn to pieces. The nobles had never heard their king strong and always smiling, cry.
Even if you want to see him when you finally recover.(constant checkups with Lucifer) Satan just avoids you for a while. Not returning your calls flat out ignoring you by text. Finally you caught that man out of his castle. And He doesn't even look you in the eye when you stand face to face. He still looks guilty, Looks like he's seen a ghost every time he looks at you. You can even see him grow some facial hair. And according to Sitri 'hasn't showered in weeks hasn't eaten a lot in days. And that this is the worst depressive episode he's ever seen from him.'
The other nobles are urging you two to talk again. They swear that Satan is never a demon to hurt you on purpose. And he swears it will never happen again. Seeing Satan in this state is breaking their hearts. But at the same time they would never force you to make that decision. And if you never wanted to see him again they will support you! Even act as your bodyguard just to make you feel safe.
The pain he feels every time he raises his hand, and you flinch is more painful than thousands of angels tearing into his flesh. He's supposed to protect you... Hurting you should have never happened. And he will never do it again.
Satan is terrified of touching you again. It would take a while for him do not feel scared about hurting you by just touching you. Now he's even more regretful that you had to see him like this. He's angry at himself for being like this.
If you force him to talk to you, he'll break down, he'll start tearing up, he'll hold you close, his voice broke as he sobs apology after apology. Nails digging into your clothes as he mutters that he hurt you. That he's no better than an angel. That he's scared that he thought you died and he killed you.
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frozenfrogz · 6 months
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me realizing blyler is endgame and i get to have the byler kiss i’ve been waiting for my whole fucking life
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idliketobeatree · 7 months
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NO WAIT ROB ARE YOU TELLING ME AZIRAPHALE HAD, ADMITTEDLY, THE WORST KISS IN RECORDED HISTORY AND HE WAS STILL LIKE "come back and do that again, please, right now"?????!?!??!
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captainbfresh · 2 months
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Just imagining Ryan finding out that Buck was getting a Bi storyline and being like "Oh finally, that's so awesome. So how are we getting rid of Marisol then?" only for Tim and Oliver to have to break it to him that Buck's Bi awakening/first kiss with a man isn't Eddie.
Man would've been devastated.
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mazojo · 1 year
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gwinwe · 11 months
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the man i love
(ib josé moreno carbonero)
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gregoftom · 1 year
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i’m speechless
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h-doodles · 6 months
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truly not sorry but once again thinking abt miranda/mc/mia in RL. i need them SO bad. like, 2 of the most morally unsound persons (Mia & Miranda) + their little meow meow. Knowing both are so possessive and destructive (TO OTHERS) when they love and instead of running, fully embracing the chaos of it. Loving them despite their delusions of grandeur, the crimes, the secrets, and the deaths (+ undeaths) caused (or ordered!) by their hands. Acknowledging this is fucked up but you can't help it. Lovingly bitching abt their fights but fully done and gone to do anything else but to soothe and continue loving them, because after all those years of waiting and doing and redoing everything to be perfect was worth it for this.
also did i mention being their little meow meow. sorry Miranda, MC was the original gremlin in the relationship and Mia being the fucked up feral racoon she is now is not solely by her doing, MC was and IS the enabler in both relationships that it bled over sm and OUGHJJJJJHHHHhhhh im being so emo abt three (3) women being utter menaces frfr
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gayandtiredasfuck · 1 year
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No because if they actually kiss this volume im gonna lose my fucking mind
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mokureen · 1 year
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so the second tristamp ost album just dropped and!!! we get a version of sound of life with the vocal version of millions knives????? the fact that nai's piano theme is presumably based off of vash's singing as well. and oh my god. the lyrics. tatsuya kato the genius that you are.
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thekidsarentalright · 11 months
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constantly stunned by how dead the crowd seems btw like if i were there i would not be able to contain myself rip to everyone else ig </3
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lumity-rights · 5 months
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so the juliantina spin off actually happened and NOBODY told me??? i’m disgusted by all the fake bitches
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miniaturesblog · 1 year
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I really need my Kevin stans to sound off because why is a very important character to the plot being labeled as a fun little 3rd wheel. That boy LIVED and SURVIVED riko bitch face, rebuilt himself from scratch, and was in constant state on PTSD while doing so. So no, I don’t appreciate it when he’s portrayed as this whiny, arrogant boy when he’s an ambitious, brave man. Is he perfect? No the fuck not, none of the foxes are, but he deserves so much more.
I quite literally never do hot takes and will be deleting this in 24 hours.
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