#when the shame kicks in
Text
Bleh
“Healers are weak”
The words were spat, not quite in her direction, but definitely meant for her.
Once, twice, many times over
Pacifism in a world of chaos was deemed foolish. Power not used for destruction was ludicrous… many knights and warriors mocked the idea of possessing power and it being useless for anything that didn’t obliterate enemies, yet, when things went south, they’d be begging healers to help them.
In a war, shoot the medic first.
A constant contradiction. Deemed too weak for the world, but too important to actually leave behind.
A healer.
Innocence had no room in this world. Nyru’s hands were red and raw, but the girl kept scrubbing. Harder, desperately. Like the hot, sticky feeling of blood wouldn’t leave her skin, like it’s strong, metallic scent was clinging to the flesh.
Desensitization. That’s what her parents had tried. Lift enough weapons, hunt enough wildlife… it’d sure get rid of the idea of going through this world only knowing how to heal. Ordon may be peaceful, but if the history of Hyrule had to be taken into account, one could never be too careful.
But the sting on her hands made the skin throb. The tears after hunting were never ending. It’s not like she was weak… she’d bare teeth if needed… but the idea of fighting, of hurting, of killing, just wasn’t in her.
Disdain. Exasperation. That’s what met her every time she talked about a plant, every time she held a book on the subject. All surely useless if she refused to fight in the first place.
So, she started to hide… quiet down her excitement, snuff out the spark of curiosity that lit her eyes when someone mentioned anything related to potions or fairies.
That was, until she met him.
The sight of a young boy, sitting against a tree, eyes closer, had the young girl quietly approaching him.
Was he asleep? Unconscious? Hurt?
She got close, perhaps too close, trying to assess if he was ok… in a quick snap, her gray eyes met a vibrant blue. The boy, startled, tried to move, foreheads smashing together with a dull thud.
They both held their heads, tears stinging their eyes as they tried to soothe it. Awkward questions, explanations, laughs and a shaky handshake and Nyru had found someone who didn’t roll his eyes in exasperation, who listened to her rambles as she showed many plants, critters and chu jelly.
So indeed, the healer was weak… when the right person came along.
#A Nyru snippet?#i usually dont share my silly writing publicly cuz… ew#i send them to close friends if anything (aka grim)#but im a lil high#feelin brave#so i figured#fuck it#i might delete later tho#when the shame kicks in#so if you read it#congrats#and sorry#for subjecting you to my lame ramblings of ocs#nyru
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whatever skills or knowledge you think is "universal" absolutely isn't, and when you understand this, you can understand deeper how people experience the world. There are so many things that are deemed "common knowledge" that just aren't to some people.
Maybe you think it's common knowledge to know how to eat, for example. But it isn't common knowledge for me; I don't know how to eat because of my disabilities and because of my history. I can physically eat, yes, but the knowledge of how and when is something I never learned. I can absolutely learn, sure, but it is a time and energy investment, which is why I hadn't done so before.
What would help me more: being belittled and demeaned because I don't "know" something like a normal person would or being educated in an understanding way? Now, apply this to other people who struggle with things you think are "fool-proof," and you will start to understand how people operate when they aren't "normal"
#disability#disability advocacy#food mention tw#disordered eating tw#this isn't solely a disability thing but the venn diagram often overlaps when 'common knowledge' is the topic#this applies to hygiene and 'basic' math/language/ect. and how things work and so many other things#i used myself as an example because i have felt so much needless shame for not knowing 'basic' shit as a result of trauma and disability#and it's just. pointless cruelty. like the cruelty is the point sure but like. why. why kick somebody who is down
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
Zhongli main was flirting with me in-game (I was playing Childe) and I. My brain short-circuited. Um.
They were very sweet though,,, I just couldn't. Socialise.
Looking back I sound kind of cold but I was just really flustered,,,
also, if the person does see this (low as the chances may be): I'm so sorry I don't know what I did (I don't think I blocked you but honestly I'm not sure??) but you were really kind and sweet and I've no clue what happened,, I really wanted to be friends!!! You seemed really nice!!! So sorry about whatever happened!! (Also I hope you don't mind I drew this out!)
#genshin impact#zhongchi#chili#childe#tartaglia#zhongli#my art#man I was so flustered from their messages#lmao#halfway between giggling and kicking my legs like a school girl and dying of mortal shame because I couldn't respond back#I have 0 rizz#as the kids say#aether mains when they try to play tartaglia be like
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
In an incredibly baffling turn of events, the official palia discord decided to turn on *required* 2fa and forcibly shunt everyone who cant afford that out of the community (which btw according to the mods- "this should not impact your ability to play the game or make connections within the world of palia" 😐)
So if anyone has any server links or anything of the likes :) id love to be sent some now that im forcefully locked out of the literal ONLY palia community i had :)
#palia#palia game#palia mmo#gray talks#btw tumblr is the only place i can ask this since the official redit ALSO bans any advertisement of servers that arent the official one :)#if you cant tell im incredibly salty and upset abt this#oh whats this! a nice community that it took me effort to force myself to speak in bc i have gad! and i was finally feeling comfortable in!#wouldnt it be a shame if we were to. heh. forcibly kick you out of it and send you a fuck you via modmail when you ask about it#bro
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
heynhay klance animatic when?? 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 with all that free time of yours
#I NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO YOU FUCKERS#NEVER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SHIT.#the answer to your question is. never. because for some reason i have no problem cranking out 50 separate concept drawings#but having to do 50 sequential drawings within the same concept seriously drains me#like even those mini comics when i finish (and they only have 3-6 drawings) im like WHEW that has a kick to it#im gasping panting on the verge of throwing up from exhuastion#which is all a shame becuase when driving to work i visualize some absolutely bangin ones#too bad you will never see it#ok ok maybe someday id do like. a short one. a sampler. like 30s.#but its also a matter of i dont know how to use/access any of the programs used for boarding on timelines#so it would just be a mess of folders on one psd or a mess of 50 dif psds#its exhausting me to even think upon rn#ask
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
wild to think about how square enix had more fleshed out female characters in ffv (1992) than they do in xv (2016) and xvi (2023)
#i love the gals in xv and xvi but they were done soooo dirty narratively speaking#they get like one or two scenes where they get to kick ass but before and after that??#theyre just there to look pretty and to hang around for when the plot needs them to give the dude characters motivation to do something#they barely even pass the bechdel test ahdsjfma#its such a shame bc lunafreya and jill both had SO much potential and couldve been given way bigger roles in their games#for example why would xvi reveal that torgal's real master is shiva and therefore jill and then just.. NOT do anything with it#it bothers me so much asdfjmsf#aki stfu#anyway i love v
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sebastian when Ciel is suffering from his Mind Games™:
Sebastian when Ciel is in genuine danger that has no relation to said Mind Games™:
Thinking of this post in particular
#seriously unless the danger is from him he doesn't think its so funny anymore#sebastian only gets kicks from when HE hurts HIS young master#when HE lets him get hurt.#sebastian just wants things to be about himself. he's such a drama queen#Sebastian is like teehee you almost died because you did an oopsie :) what a shame#and then when undertaker hurts him he's suddenly all hurt like wtf did you do to my Arby's Horsey Sauce?#black butler#kuroshit#kuroshitsuji#black butler memes#kuroshitpost
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
"wow i used 2 be attracted to way more straight men irl i wonder why im like not as much anymore" *remembers the moral scrupulosity + internalized homophobia wombo combo guilt that overtakes me each and every time Ohhhh youre so predatory for thinking your straight friend is attractive how dare you thats so nasty <- the 19th century priest that lives in my brain * Like youd think i was raised religious with all of that but no. my parents arent even homophobic or transphobic idk how i internalized this
#ray.txt#when i find the guy running the show at the GUILT AND SHAME FACTORY im kicking his ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ask to tag#<- i guess? idk sorry 😭
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the assumption "oh autistic people will always exist outside of social norms, and it's either they mask and act like neurotypicals or are just completely Not" is very false. with my autistic friends, it kinda feels like there's another book of social norms that we make for ourselves. some of those rules may include
taking turns info dumping -- remembering to pay attention during the other's info-dump and asking relevant questions. with that, second hand investment. generally leads to more meaningful relationships
remembering each other's sensory needs. like if I'm in a crowded room and I see my friend is acting noticeably out of it (or vice versa), suggesting to go outside and just talk one-on-one or even a simple "you ok?" helps
the 'do not hate on each other's hyper fixations' rule. if someone likes something to THAT point, immediately shitting on it hurts! it's like...hyperfixation-talk and regular-media talk. ex "I like trains" "trains are fucking stupid" like WHat
always intervening when you hear another person shit talking your friend on the basis that they're autistic
the old "this made me think of you" texts, pictures, gifts, etc
understanding that sometimes it takes a lot of time for one person to get in the right headspace to reply to a message, and not holding that against them
the very niche type of humor that comes together when two very mentally ill people are put in the same room lol
the way our tone can be kinda off, but we still know what the other person means. not because they particularly sound sarcastic, but because we know what sarcasm sounds like coming out of that person. similar with joking, etc
no shame when you need breaks from each other or are socially tired
#feel free to add more#autism#actually autistic#speaking for personal experience ofc as a low support needs afab person#but almost all of my closest friends are autistic#I think the real shame is just when people have been masking for so long they dont know how to de-mask#so they're sort of on the outskirts of their own meaningful relationships#I've been on a 'I live how I want' kick recently#but tbh#if you try to fit yourself into something you aren't -- it can work but will you have as much fun??#I totally get unique circumstances but also#I think if you're autistic you need at least once autistic besties were you simply Do Not Hold Back#because those relationships are so so so much more fulfilling
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dorks
Starting with ZEX nad DAX! I moved them in by themselves first and had them fall in love and, forgot, to take any screenshots of it lol oops. They are In Love, but not committed :) I’m also really silly-pleased with how they turned out haha, using Zarla’s VUX retextures as well as these red horns and Namekian antennae haha - anything to make them just a little more alien!
Old man yaoi
Moved the Captain in and he immediately rolled a Want to flirt with ZEX lol. You’re so judgey Captain not like I intentionally made it so he and ZEX would be attracted to each other but not so much him and DAX cough
ZEX was also immediately enamoured lol, who would’ve guessed
Jinx! I ended up getting the Jealousy-negation potion because I want them all to get along ♥
Really. Right in front of DAX’s fear of getting burgled >:0
The Captain is always the little spoon, it’s the rules
He’s always the one sitting on others! It’s the rules!
DAX caught them lol, he even walked away doing the “crazy” hand sign haha, I love the two of them looking at him as he goes hehe ♪
I was curious and there actually is a difference in what ZEX and the Captain are doing - ZEX is cuddling, the Captain is sitting (on ZEX lol)
These animations I swear ♥ The shy little duck the Captain does after a peck, so cute
Okay fine he can be the big spoon sometimes
Poor DAX got kicked out of bed haha
You’re fine writing in your diary like that? Haven’t you noticed the uh
I designed this house with infidelities in mind lol, just look behind you Captain! No there’s a wall in the way! Haha
#WPVG#WPTS2#The Sims 2#The Sims#SCII#Much less involved than the Talana set - if I hadn't forgotten the ZEX/DAX stuff maybe...#But I'm also still playing this household! A bit less focusedly more just seeing what happens for now#It's also kinda in the middle of/around Talana's - some things happened concurrently like getting robbed#Thus DAX still being mad about it when he went over to visit lol#Both of the VUX are currently employed but the human is not - something of a house husband at the moment lol#I'll get to him he's just a bit freshly moved in yet - I made him a cute studio loft so he has a bit of space for himself :)#He still crashed in ZEX's bed and kicked DAX out tho lol mean!#DAX is a dancer - pretty sure he fell asleep in his uniform haha#I think ZEX is in the Slacker career? This would be post-exile so y'know ♪#He has other things to be doing! Like the Captain pfft#I really am rather pleased with how everyone turned out <3 I'll have to get some closeups at some point so you can see ZEX's smile lines!#I considered giving him the short cropped hair but the longer hair just looks so nice ahhh#I gave DAX the same for a moment but they were a little too difficult to tell apart even with the eyepatch haha#It's a shame the red horns count as ''glasses'' so they come off for certain outfits - I think I might be able to turn them back on hmm#The little colour contrast on VUX skin is so pretty! <3#I had so much fun with all the decorations as well lol there are So many space pictures and wallpaper and bedsheets#All the doors are Star Trek doors! There's a UFO hanging model in the bedroom hehe <3#The clean white futurism look is very fun to work in :)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
This site barely runs on desktop for me currently, i don't really know whats up but i've seen other people allude to it so it's not just me. It's not having an ad blocker on either which is one thing i tested so. That's fuuuuuun.
#jay talkin#im taking the weekend off to rest b4 big moving stuff next week cuz im so tired. hi#my fucking. chronic pain and fatigue kicking my ass. ive packed nearly everything in my room lol#shits rough but we move!!!! wish i could scroll on my time off but a well guess sites busted#between how hostile and unpleasant twitter is and how busted this site is im kinda just grasping at straws#when it comes to having fun online LMAO which is a shame i like the social part of social media!!#im too exhausted lately to be truly chatty and social but once i get my energy back i wanna be more talkative. its fun
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH SHIT. my dad fuckin died today uh. rest in pieces dickhead 😘 time to CELEBRATE 🎉
#the bin#would it be messed up to buy a cake to celebrate him dying?#i used to joke about celebrating once he kicked it. he was a truly truly evil person. absolutely horrible.#yknow. usually when i receive shocking news like this im upset and like. wow i hope im dreaming. like when a pet dies or something like tha#because my grasp on reality is thin and i can barely tell when im dreaming or awame6half the time. but this time im scared i might be#dreaming and ill wake up and hes still alive.#i am stressed about the whole where im gonna live thing again tho#my mom cant pay that rent by herself so uh. that makes things difficult.#if i was there and i had a job then we could afford the rent together but as it is now. idk.#i doubt she will end up staying in that house longer than the lease. my aunt my help pay for the next months rent byt after that idk.#so that part really sucks but. idk what will happen.#its a shame i cant just go.there now and get a job and help with that. but i still have a lease here and rent to pay#well. i think things will work out#i mean. he barely brought in any money simce december so. maybe we can work something out until im there and working and can help#pay the rent. i think itll be ok. everything will work out.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
start putting this old man in dresses or ELSE!
#transfem coomer supremacy#i’ve been on that transfem kick as you can see#also i generally think people need to start drawing more skirts and dresses. if my benrey posf was anything to go by.#also yes i rushed this since 1 in the morning i’m going to look at this tomorrow annd weep wth sorrow and embarrassment when i notice all#the mistakes i made#ANYWAYS. while i don’t have any shame#harold coomer#dr coomer#dr coomer hlvrai#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#my art
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
If Post-COIE/Pre-Zero Hour Batman found a broken time travel device, re-made it, traveled through the time stream to a few minutes before his parents were murdered, stopped Chill from killing them by violently punching the thug, but not killing him, went back to the time stream before he vanishes and ended up in a different present time line than the one he'd existed in (with another Bruce there), what would the Dark Knight do next? Btw, this scenario takes place shortly after Batman: Year One.
Watch his parents die as an adult instead, if it's the new timeline created by stopping Chill. His family line is cursed thanks to him, remember, and curses cannot be dodged so easily.
Before we argue the pre vs post and whether or not that would negate the curse, the curse has always been on the Wayne bloodline ever since Anna put it there, regardless of whether or not Bruce had gone back in time yet. Considering the rule of paradoxes, he's already gone back in time because he always will do it/has done it/is destined to do it.
Now in the event that he jumped to a different timeline entirely; if it's year one Batman and current Batman Year One Batman would absolutely try to punch him in the face.
He would lose, of course, but he would try.
After that, Year One Batman...hmm.....
I dunno. I don't really like him, so I never really got into his story. When people tell me year one, I tend to think irl chronologically. But like, legit "Year One" Batman was way too edgelord for me.
I think Jason would love to have a go at him, though.
Only one person may hold the crown of supreme edgelord, after all.
#asks#like batman is edgy all the time#but year one batman was a whole other level#“i know pain. i know pain. and sometimes...i share it with people like you.”#bro what the fuck#like tell me which batkid wouldn't kick the shit out of him#or try to#if he spoke like that#like even damian would be annoyed#“father please cease that drivel at once. Todd is enough.”#todd went through all the trouble to making an exact replica of his old robin suit to wear under his new get up#all to prove a point#jason won edgelord supreme guys#steph and dick would absolutely just tell him to his face to go see a therapist#current bruce would be hiding in shame#like when u find that old OC u wrote when u were thirteen#and u immediately delete the files because dear god why#anyways original batman for the win#the fucking turn from “sometimes i share it with people like you” to batman kicking two police officers in the face and parkouring#out of a window while shouting “i'm not getting arrested today chums!” is fucking wild#very first issue he did that#that's my year one batman y'all#kick cops in the face and parkour away#go batman go
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
every time tsukishima says "mun" (むんッ)
i noticed that mun had become tsukishima's associated sound / almost a catchphrase in japanese fanart, so when reading the manga in japanese, i decided to keep an eye out and make a note of every time he says it.
volume 8, chapter 78 — he says むんッ while kicking the shit out of ogata. it isn't a word; it's an effort noise. EH scans translated this one as "HAHH!"
(50 chapters later, still nothing…)
(100 chapters later, still nothing...)
(almost 150 chapters later, still nothing, but usami says むんッ when he kicks tomoharu's neck in, chapter 226. EH scans translated it as "HRNGH!!" i think no one else said it in the mean time.)
(more than 150 chapters later, still nothing, even when tsukishima directs two big kicks toward tanigaki in chapter 229 and totally could have said mun.)
volume 25, chapter 244 — tsukishima finally says むんッ again... while playing menko with koito (and winning). i have a feeling noda-sensei gave us this one as a joke because he knew people were waiting for it. EH scans translated this one as "HRNH!"
(for another 50+ chapters, tsukishima does plenty of nice kicks and other forceful actions during which he could have said mun, but he doesn't.)
volume 31, chapter 303 — he says むんッ one last time while throwing an entire bayonetted rifle at ushiyama. it was worth the wait. EH scans translated it as "HRNGH!"
conclusion: i was expecting more muns than that, given its ubiquity in fanart. i guess everyone just really, really liked it the first time and latched on forever. maybe part of the joke is that the "tsuki" in "tsukishima" means "moon," and "mu-n" (ムーン) is the way to transliterate the english word "moon," so it's like moon guy says something like "moon" while he kicks the shit out of you and that's lovable.
#tsukishima hajime#golden kamuy#EDIT: the lightning bandit said mun in the same way when he kicked tsukishima with both feet in chapter 106. but i don't care about him#see if you only read the english version you don't know about mun bc it's not translated consistently. jk it's not rly worth knowing about#today i learned that the plus sign does not italicize.#i thought i had seen muns in fanart mostly in katakana but in canon it's always hiragana (with a katakana tsu). what does this mean?nothing#if i missed one it is my eternal shame bc then what else am i good for. if i can't even do this.
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
every time somebody new follows me here i get so scared for no reason SBDHDKL like... they are obviously aware of what theyre in for when they hit follow but im still like "oh nooo theyre gonna find out i wanna kiss and hug and give this p.okemon guy all my affection and love.... "
like... @ me: yeah man. thats kind of the whole point of the blog. and im pretty sure theyre fine w it if they saw ur pfp and pinned post and took even a small scroll thru ur blog 🧍
#WHY AM I SO WORRIED FJFKDL ITS SO SILLY#''oh nooo theyre gonna know i like the banana hair man from the mega popular anime... oh noooo''#my silly splorgus... my eeby deeby... my beloved blorbo....#(i know why im so worried fhfkdl its a hard habit to kick esp when u have grown up in a certain environment)#(these shame pathways in the brain are ingrained deeply but !!! by god i am rewriting that shit slowly but surely!!)#dandy.cmd
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ait-ana
mia-it-ana
mihkelson
Mihkelson
vikkisspecialplace
Just a place to get away from it all
essenindustry
Essen Industry