hello friendz !! i am packing my bags and moving to @tetzoro !!! please come join me if ya want ^_^

back to navi.

Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12

hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !

12. talk about a new friend you made this year

ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)

i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.

abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun

yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.

haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂

thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.

@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3

moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily

Well, this is the hardest thing to say, but June 16th 2022, this blog is officially archived.

I never thought I’d be saying that here, and to be honest, if you would’ve told past me that, I probably would’ve vehemently denied and covered my ears.

However, I do think I’m at a point with this blog where there’s no more I can do. We b-are b-ears is over. The only exisiting material left is the spinoff, (Which I’m really not a fan for, but I’m not the demographic for that to be fair to it.)

I’ll give my feelings in the read more, but here’s one last art I made as a parting gift. 

For the time I’ve played Panda here it’s been a rollercoaster. From all of the rp blogs I’ve had, this was the most personal one out of all of them.

I was cringe, I went through so many fandoms/phases on here, got into so many crossover fun that I’ll never ever forget. Despite the mild turbulent  moments, I’m so glad the GF fandom took in a little weird guy rp’er like me.

I just got into Gravity Falls towards the end , but even though I was real late, and missed alot of hype moments, I still was welcomed, and loved, and I’ll never forget the memories given for that.

While there were was a really hard period on here, that I don’t want to even get into/address any specfics at this point, the situation or the person isn’t why I’m leaving at all.

It’s not even due to anyone or anything.

I’m just at a point, where I feel like Panda, well my Panda grew with me through all of the changes/hard times that happened in my life.

When I was being bullied and harrassed by some really jerks IRL, who were trying to find all of my stuff online as well, Panda was a huge comfort and a centering point for me and my anxieties. 

The community here, and this character really made me feel safe, and he made me feel loved no matter what. 

And, he’s the reason I’ve met alot of amazing rp’ers and even made a best friend that I hold dearly, and still regularly talk to through discord. And I want all my mutuals to know I love them, and I wish nothing but the best for them going forward.

However, as I took breaks and hiatuses, and found new muse(s), whenever I come back it doesn’t feel the same anymore. At first I was worried, and insistent I had to find something new, to make him interesting and writeable again.

However, I realized, I don’t really need Panda for the comfort like I used to anymore. He’s grown up and developed as much as I could give, and I’ve moved on.

And that’s the hardest thing, because god it hurts. But, I don’t have the energy I used to. I’m not as vibrant and eager to meet a bunch of new people, and promote myself, and  my connection with Panda I feel is at a stand still, but it isn’t a bad thing.

I’m actually a teary mess trying to collect my thoughts here, so I’ll think I’ll just end it on, goodbye.

It was a fun ride while it lasted. And I send you all my love.

SIGNAL BOOST

Yo, Calamity here. I was once a member of this community and have been so for 4 years. I’m here to apologize for everything I’ve done in this community, including hurting the people that I cared about. I know how badly it hurts, and I hope you all have been healing sufficiently. I wounded you all. I’m so sorry for it. I’m gonna own up to every single one of my mistakes and explain everything as best as possible.

I’d appreciate if this gets spread around, so people can see it. Reblogging would help tremendously.

There was very little that I didn’t screw up.

I let my mental problems define me, and to the fullest. I’ve let my anger out on the people that I cared about, after a big member of the community blocked me for saying “I love you” to them. I self-destructed, and I damaged many people in the process. I lashed out at everyone that was trying to help me, and I got hate from everyone because of it. I told people to kill themselves. I lost my reputation.

For 3 years, I’ve kept my mental side hidden from everyone. The side that got me banished from 11 other communities before this one. I thought I was past it. I felt like I was something in this community, until I felt that I wasn’t. I started to have strong feelings of worthlessness in this community one day, and that caused me to bang my head against a wall multiple times until my forehead was bleeding, winding me up in the mental hospital.

There’s a lot of messed up things in my mind.

After a month and a half of staying there, I thought I was past all my issues. I got into a resource center, and I felt calm interacting with you all once again, until a mutual unfollowed me. That made me start having the mental breakdowns through multiple posts on my blog.

Previously, it was the feelings of betrayal from my first mutual of my blog, who unfollowed me around late 2021. We had many great RPs together, and I never forgot them. It hurt my mind; it obliterated my confidence. They proceeded to interact with newer blogs who are far bigger than me, and perhaps better. I felt nothing to the community, and I envied them. I tried to keep all the hate inside me, so no one would find out who I really am. It proved too hard to do so.

I’m the most mental person in this community.

I have OCD, ADHD, autism, tourette syndrome and depression. Depression has been hitting me the most after the day that I had that gigantic mental breakdown. OCD has opted me to come back here two weeks later, although at the same time I’ve been getting better a lot faster than I anticipated.

On top of that, I’m a terrible person. Some of you already know that. On that day I hurt a lot of people in this community, I also hurt people in real life. My pediatrician through an online meeting, my brother who I called a cunt when we got back home from the crisis respite, and I even disrespect my mother every single day of my life. The one who gives me all the amenities in the world, is super sweet to me, and gives care like no other mother in the world. I’m not exaggerating when I say this. I’m mean to her; I take out all my problems on her, even more than you guys.

It’s okay if you don’t want to accept my apology.

I’m used to it, at this point. Every single day of my life, I’ve proven that I’m epic failure. No exaggeration there, either. But, there’s only one thing that I’m actually good at: persevering. This has been my 12th RP community that I got banished from, and there’s a side of me that wouldn’t accept it any longer.

I’ve been getting all the help I can get. My mother, my sister, my psychologist, the warmline, and the suicidal prevention hotline. With all this help, I’m doing well for myself, on top of the things that I can have fun with. Now, I’ll continue being myself here.

I’m done with being banished from RP communities. I’m done letting my mental problems define me. I’m done living in the past.

I hope you understand that.

If you have any questions, let me know.

I hope you’re doing well :)

I'm doing okay. Life has its ups and downs.

I haven't been as active on this blog as I used to be, and I'd like to share with you all a little bit of context and what's going on in my life.

(This is a long post in which I'll overshare a bit and dump some of my feelings into paragraph form, so if anyone doesn't feel up to reading a multi-paragraph post about my depression and anxieties don't feel obligated.)

I have been a freelancer for the last three-ish years. I didn't like the way my former employer treated me or other workers, so I quit and I tried running my own business. It was really great at the beginning. Things felt promising. I had (and still have) customers who I love working with and who value my work. It enabled me and my sweetheart to travel and go backpacking and work remotely and see so many places we'd never been and meet so many new people. But no matter what I did, I couldn't figure out how to make my freelance work grow beyond a certain amount of projects at any given time and I was probably not charging enough for my services for a long while. The pandemic hurt a lot of my work too, and many of my customers disappeared while they tried to figure out what they needed to do for themselves too.

I've been incredibly lucky and in spite of things not working out, I had a wonderful few years running my own remote business while traveling and having experiences I never would have otherwise had. But right now I'm searching for new employment and hoping to find an opportunity in a larger company again while also still working for a few customers who still need me and have continued to hire me for projects, and the job search combined with my freelance work and the pandemic and various other personal life events has made life more complicated and more emotionally stressful.

The job search is a discouraging process. The pandemic has been emotionally draining and stressful, but I am very fortunate and I have been fully vaccinated. But the job search is weighing on me a lot emotionally. I swing between feeling confident in myself and my network and my opportunities, and feeling as though there must be something wrong with me and my skill-set and my resume and that I must be going about things all wrong and fearing that after three years of not making enough to pay the bills while freelancing and after draining all of my savings trying to make my own company work that things aren't going to turn around any time soon.

I've also been feeling a deep emotional wound around my relationship with my family. They care about me on a certain level very, very much... but they don't truly love and accept me as who I am, and they're very prejudiced and set in their ways. This has been weighing on me more lately since I'm recognizing that my parents are getting older but I haven't figured out a way to reconcile with them on issues that mean a lot to me. I just want them to love me as I am and accept me for who I am because I love them so much but I'm struggling to figure out if there's anything I can do to change their mindsets or if I'm even ready to try doing more than what I've already done in my efforts to do that, since it would involve even more emotional energy and vulnerability that might not even make a difference or could even make things worse between us. I think I've already tried and done a lot in my effort to encourage them to change their hearts about things, and I probably need to spend more time seeking therapy and making peace with my lack of control over their ideologies and opinions and to make peace with the way they choose to love me even if they're not accepting of every part of who I am. But it's hard.

And I suppose I also have plenty of anxieties around certain aspects of the online Stranger Things fandom itself these days too. That's certainly also a factor in my absence.

I have really enjoyed sharing my ideas and theories with you all, but I don't want my thoughts and feelings and convictions and ideas that I choose to share to provoke any conflict that I don't have the emotional l energy to process in a healthy way.

I might escape this funk at some point and happily return to writing long posts and analyses about ideas that I have. I don't know how long I'm going to feel the need to take a break. When I have so much in my life that I'm already worried about, I am trying to spend my free time in ways that make me feel happy and I suppose right now I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable and unwilling to share my feelings about a story and characters that I'm overly emotionally invested in. I use fiction to escape from my real-world troubles and to find catharsis, but at times (like right now) I slip into being too emotionally invested to the point of connecting too strongly with fictional scenarios and being concerned with the opinions of other fans in ways that impact my wellbeing in a negative way. I need to sometimes step back a bit until I've recentered myself emotionally.

I value the friendships that I have made in this corner of the internet so, so much. Your interest in my ideas and our sharing of our different theories and our mutual fondness for this wonderful series and its characters has brought me a lot of joy and helped me feel less alone in many ways. But when I'm feeling like my family doesn't understand and respect me and I'm feeling alone, I do need to be wary of looking for finding understanding online when there's a certain culture of misunderstanding and drama if I accidentally wade into the wrong online circles that aren't seeking to understand me or seeking to share their thoughts with me in a mutually respectful way but are seeking to feast on social media drama or people who are seeking out someone to be angry at who they don't know and who they can turn into the scapegoat for their own worries. Strangers online aren't always kind and they aren't always willing to remember I'm just another fan and human being.

So with my depression and my increasing anxiety around my relationships and communities both online and offline I've been quieter here lately. I've been trying to spend less time in fandom spaces and trying to get more time outside in the fresh air, get more sleep, spend time with people who I know love me and allow me to feel heard and understood and respected, and figure out what I need for my health and happiness that I'm struggling to find.

I want to reassure you all that I'm very lucky, that I'm very safe, and that I have no worries about food or a place to live or anything like that and that I have a good network of people in my life who will make sure I'm okay. But depression and anxiety and other undiagnosed mental health struggles and unemployment and family issues can weigh on a person.

I'm still here. Thank you for spending time with me in this corner of the internet even if I've been really quiet lately. I still love Stranger Things. I still appreciate the friends I've made here. And maybe I'll return to blogging more regularly and with enthusiasm and joy when we have new content or when season 4 is released. I don't know where I'll be at emotionally later today, tomorrow, or next week. I'm taking things one day at a time. Sometimes I might write about my ideas and reply to Asks, and sometimes I might not. Sometimes I might reblog posts by others that I appreciate, and sometimes I might not post anything at all for a while. Thanks for understanding. ♥️

I noticed that I’ve been getting blocked by a lot of Ososan artists lately and... At this point I’m sure it’s because of bad rumors and misinfo getting spread about me in discord servers. I’m going to put a lot of this under a readmore because I don’t want to clog people’s dashes with this, but I really want to clear the air here as I feel like there are a lot of things being left out of the narratives people are telling about me, and also the fact this is still happening and has been for four-five years, isolating me from a lot of the ososan community and hurting me in a very deep way...

Now, first off, I’m not here to say that over the past 4-5 years I wasn’t immature and childish. There were many times where I was, even to the point the behaviors could be seen as abusive or toxic even if that wasn’t the intention. I was in my early to mid 20s and had serious issues with oversharing my thoughts and feelings with people I really only knew casually, usually to the point of making them uncomfortable. I would also use all caps a lot, not really realizing the effect it had on people, making others feel like they were being shouted at. I would also act immaturely when I saw that other roleplay blogs were getting more attention than mine, even though the ones I had were for OCs, which meant that of course canon characters would get more traction.

Again, I was very young and not very socially developed. I am by no means trying to use my autism as an excuse, but rather an explanation.

Prior to getting into Ososan around 2016, I did not have any “real life” friends, that is, friends I knew in person. I did not know anyone my age and socializing was, and still is pretty limited to just my immediate family. Almost all of my interactions were online, and even that I struggled with. I had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship as well, and was just starting college. I did not think about how others felt enough and was too concerned with saying my piece and sharing my own opinions, making everything about me or about how I felt, and less about the other person. Again, this is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life as part of my ASD, but I’m still not excusing it by any means, especially considering the fact that other people ended up hurt.

I think the main issue was how immature and self-focused I was if I’m being honest, and how I would tend to make everything about me and how I felt and what I made.

My intentions were always good, that never changed. But as people have stated to me before, good intentions don’t mean anything if the outcome is bad. My immaturity really ended up hurting a lot of other people’s feelings and causing a lot of resentment, and I am by no means saying that anyone has to forgive me or be “ok” with me.

What I do wish though is that perhaps people who I have had struggles with in the past could refrain from spreading biased opinions of me to people who have never even met me. I understand wanting to support your friends, and I also understand that when someone you know tells you someone is “bad news”, it’s natural to take their word for it, especially if they only show screenshots of me at my lowest rather than when I was trying my absolute best to be a good friend, despite my immaturity.

However, I’ll be honest and say that I do think that this behavior in general seems counterproductive and perhaps even concerning... If there’s someone that upset me in my past, I don’t tell others or divulge about them to new people I meet unless I felt they did something actually illegal. I remember misinforming about someone in the ososan community based on false claims and I still feel guilty about it to this day, so I’ve also been guilty of this in the past. It’s also important to keep in mind that if someone is really making someone out to sound terrible or horrible that there is usually a bias clouding their perception. I've sat and reflected a lot on my own biases these past five years in therapy, and at the end of the day, I don’t think most people have bad intentions, at least not lonely kids in a small fandom. I think it’s a lot of miscommunication, lack of confrontation, and fear rather than any malicious intent.

Because if there’s one thing I know that I’m not, it’s a manipulator. I straight up do not have the social intelligence for that. I would all caps, I would get upset and leave chats and worry people, I would go on rants that people couldn’t talk me down from, or get too emotionally volatile, or put my own emotional issues onto other people by panicking and venting and putting on a scary and upsetting scene, but I never tried to manipulate anyone or turn anyone’s friends against them. The only two instances I can think of that even come close to me “warning” anyone about someone (and not for blm*tsu related reasons) happened in 2018 and 2019, well after all of this was (I assumed) done with. 

Most of my issues that people have gotten upset with me for was regarding my social immaturity, self-centeredness, altercations, public panic attacks, public mental breakdowns and a tendency to go off on emotional and heated rants, especially in public areas and in public chats. That’s why this thing about me being a manipulator seems misinformed to me, because I’ve never been great at DMing or talking to others one on one, I think anyone that’s known me will agree. Many of these altercations happened in public group chats.

I’m assuming that many of the bad rumors being spread about me are regarding my skype days back in 2016-2017, back before discord became the new norm for online chatting and servers and such, as well as a very specific “drama” that happened on anti-bl oso-twitter concerning people that had met in an osomatsu-san kin discord server (which I was not in or even knew about). 

Essentially, I befriended some of these people on twitter through people that had been in my second skype roleplay group (the first one I made was in 2016 I believe). I was unaware of any previous dramas or issues and was even unaware that said “person of interest” was even upset with me or thought I was toxic or bad. I had figured we had just stopped talking due to naturally drifting apart. Of course, in my young and naive mind, before understanding “social media etiquette” I went to go ask them why they had blocked me on twitter (I had started being active on twitter during that time.)

And of course, in my immaturity, was freaking out and panicking about having been blocked by someone I thought was a friend to people in my second roleplay group chat... As always... Ugh.. It wasn’t anything malicious though, just confusion and me being scared I had done something wrong.

One member in the roleplay group though, who I guess was a member of the osomatsu-san kin discord, started going off about said “person of interest”, claiming they had gotten their friend into a car accident and that they had groomed minors. Another person in the roleplay group felt the allegations were crazy and unfounded and left. Meanwhile, I was just lost as to what was even happening, I wasn’t aware these people were this connected or knew each other and admittedly, did a pretty poor job as a mod/admin that I didn’t stop the discussions sooner.

I have no idea if the claims were true or not, I imagine they were exaggerated due to bias, I have no idea, but then the same person who had made those claims showed me screenshots that “person of interest” sent to their mutual friend about me. How I was scary and toxic, that I had upset lots of people.. That they were panicking that I even contacted them on tumblr with a friendly “hello!”

Naturally, I responded with confusion. Again, my autism makes it very difficult for me to realize when people are upset or frustrated with me, especially over text. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset them and was very hurt and confused, as our last actual interaction had been seemingly positive. 

I did not try to turn anyone against them though. Here’s what actually happened: After being given this info, I also learned that there was a small discord group of the friend group that the person making the claims was from. I joined it hoping to learn more or get some sort of clarification only to find out that this entire group was very upset with “person of interest”. Like very upset. They made claims that this person lied, that this person liked to play victim as a way to manipulate others, that they had groomed two of the people in the group, that they had said unsettling things, that they would do strange and backhanded things ect. Again, I don’t know if these statements are true and I’m not trying to claim they are, I just know that this group of friends had been very upset with "person of interest” before I had even come into the picture. They were already planning on cutting them off!

I did not sway anyone or say anything, I was literally just there in the hopes of finding out if I’d done something wrong. 

Of course, this doesn’t at all excuse when I was still friends with “person of interest” and subjected them to my barrage of emotional baggage and panic attacks. I just want to make it clear that I never sent anyone after them or tried to turn their friends against them. In fact, I even tried to help them when they came to my twitter DMs asking me for help. I was already incredibly scared of pissing anyone off in general, and tried to keep things peaceful on both sides. When I asked the second roleplay group if they’d be okay with them rejoining, it was a unanimous “no”... I distinctly remember offering to still roleplay with them one on one and to make a new group that they could be in (and this was even after I had been shown the screenshots of them calling me toxic, which I still wasn’t holding against them!), but the offer was turned down.

I’ve noticed this very distinct pattern over the years of me running into a lot of issues due to miscommunication as well. It was very rare that people would express with me how they were feeling, or when they did, it was usually during one of my panic attacks, which were often bad enough that my brain would repress the memories of what happened during them the second they stopped, and it was rare that I would actually go back and read the things I said. People have had a very easy time going to others and complaining or venting about me to friends, but have had a very hard time actually telling me these complaints themselves, as themselves. I don’t really blame them, as we were all pretty young and given how much I freaked out publicly, it would make sense to be scared of how I might react. Not to mention there were probably things in their own pasts that made something like confrontation difficult. However, what I don’t understand is why this would still be happening five years later... I would assume by this point people would have moved on, especially regarding spats within fandoms.

I hold no ill will towards people in my past who’ve gotten upset with me, I do not hold grudges, and for the most part, if someone wants to cut contact with me, I just accept it and move on. But now that I’m noticing that these false claims are being spread around to other people in the fandom, people who weren’t even involved in these situations, blocking me based off of... Stuff they’ve heard about me... I felt a need to say something.

Honestly, my biggest wish or hope is that, given that it has been five or so years, that people who have never spoken to me or met me before maybe give me another chance? If I have personally hurt you, I don’t want you to feel the need to reach some sort of conclusion with me, or forgive me, or whatever...

But at the very least, perhaps people could be more careful when sharing personal issues we went through with other people, people who know very little about me and who I am and only know me through the lenses and narratives of people who felt slighted by me.

I have changed immensely over the past five years, more than I can even describe. I am not the same person mentally that I was, I have had therapy, I have had help, I have reflected, I have become more sensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings. I even managed to help a friend of mine get therapy! I was not perfect, I behaved irrationally, but I do think it’s important to drive home the fact that it has been a few years and that I’ve made a lot of progress and that as I’m nearing 30, I have mentally matured quite a bit.

Again, no one from my past has to forgive me, I am not here to dictate how people should feel about me. I am just here to try to share my own side seeing as how I am unable to join most ososan servers and communities nowadays, and thus have a harder time being able to get in contact with or reach others.

I’ve been dying to say something, but kept worrying that it would stir up negative feelings or memories for others, but it’s getting to a point now where I’ve felt so isolated and hated by the fandom for five whole years that I’ve actually started having thoughts of self-harm again for the first time in awhile. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel guilty, and I haven’t acted on the thoughts, I just need to be honest.

This sort of behavior on the internet; gossiping about others, spreading misinformation about others, using a position of influence within a fandom to keep someone from making friends in fandom spaces... Or maybe people don’t even realize how much their words can affect others? Especially if they’re well-liked and exist in a lot of spaces. I’m sure there are no actual bad intentions when people say these things or vent to their friends.

And while I explained that one specific incident in detail that was with a specific person, it is not the only issue I’ve gotten myself into over the years either. I simply spoke about that one as I am just guessing it’s the big reason a lot of this is still going on to this day. I behaved poorly enough in the past that separate groups of people have ended up mad at me, regardless of even knowing each other. I was incredibly troubled, dealing with the aftermath of an abusive relationship, overworked with my animation assignments, and incredibly clueless in social situations or trying to relate to others. Again, these aren’t excuses... But explanations. Mentally ill people are not well, that’s why it’s an illness. In 2016-2017, I was at the lowest of my low, and continued to be until around the Fall of 2019. I have also matured significantly since, and have been working with a far more effective therapist as of late 2018, which I think is why I had such a positive change by 2019, as well as finding wonderful and supportive friends who truly care about me.

I know this is getting really long, too long honestly, but I really needed to get this off my chest...

I’m trying to decide whether or not this will be one of my final posts on tumblr as a whole, as I don’t think I will be able to participate in enjoying ososan publicly with how isolated I’ve been over the years by various groups and people; I think by this point the reputation is too soured for me to be a part of the community. Again, probably not out of malice, but fear and resentment at how I’ve acted.

The fact that I’m seeing more than a few people in ososan fandom I’ve never really spoken to, or people I was mutuals with blocking me is enough I think for me to consider calling it quits for public enjoyment. The fandom is already very small, and the anti-bl side is even smaller, so everyone is pretty interconnected and rumors can spread very easily. There’s no way I can compete with that, especially if I’m barred from most servers anyways.

I’m still going to mull it over, but again, if you’ve never met me, or if you’ve only seen screenshots of me from 2016 while panicking or allcapsing or at my worst... All I can really do is hope that maybe you’ll be able to see past these things and consider giving me a chance. 

As for the people I genuinely did hurt, I know I’ve said sorry many times now, even on my old blog Nutastic which I abandoned for similar reasons, but I don’t know how else or how better to prove how genuinely sorry I am... Because the proof of regret is in changing and becoming a better person, and there’s not much chance to see if I have or haven’t if I’ve been cut off.

No one has to forgive me, but perhaps at least entertain the idea I might’ve changed over the course of five years, and that telling people how I was back then instead of who I am now seems a bit unfair. Again, I suppose I dug my own grave by behaving like that in the first place, but I always try to show empathy even to people who wronged me at a low place in their lives, unless they were incredibly abusive and cruel.

At the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to enjoy a show about wacky sextuplets, and I don’t think anyone actually has any ill-will in their hearts, or has it in them to be “bad”, specifically on the anti-bl side. I don’t hold grudges, there’s no one that I currently have blocked unless they are a bl or a man that made me uncomfortable. My DMs are always open, as is my askbox.

Feel free to ask me anything or confront me about anything, though admittedly, doing so through anon makes it hard for me to reply as I don’t want to post anything potentially upsetting publicly.

And I will try to come to a decision about whether or not to pull a Jenna Marbles and leave social media for good out of regret and declining mental health. I will most likely make a post about it when I’m feeling more capable.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope your year is going good so far despite... Well, everything

A Fact About Me That Sounds Fake

But is true. I went to Dashcon.

Dashcon, for those unfamiliar, was the one attempt at a convention organized by and for tumblr users, much like a regular geek convention like Comic Con, just smaller and essentially limited to people on tumblr. At the time, early 2014, it didn’t sound as crazy as it does now, I swear. July 11th, 12th, and 13th, 2014. I was 19 and had just graduated high school. I was a nerdy autistic homeschooler who had made most of my friends through online fan communities, on tumblr and deviantArt. One of these friends was planning on going to Dashcon, since she was in Illinois at the time, and I ended up deciding to go as well. The previous year I’d gone to ChicagoTARDIS and it was a blast, so this would basically be the same thing. I lucked out that not only would my parents let me go, I would get to stay at the hotel hosting the convention by myself, they were getting a room at another hotel. I had never been away from my parents for more than sleepovers and I’d never been entirely on my own. I was going to go to college that fall, but I would be living at home, so this was my one chance to experience that sort of thing. The convention… the convention has entered internet lore for how poorly it was managed and how some of the organizers were flat-out shit. I won’t waste time recounting it here – if you’re interested in the whole story, YouTuber Sarah Z has done a far better job than I could explaining what went down that week. The important parts to my story are 1) my friend and I would finally meet and we would on the last day cosplay as Cecil and Carlos from the science fiction podcast Welcome to Night Vale, and 2) the actual Night Vale podcast would be doing a live show on Sunday. It was great getting to meet my friend M, who I’d known for a while now through our mutual interest in Doctor Who. In fact, we’d made a trade of our skills, she knitted the Fourth Doctor’s scarf for me and I sewed a replica of a particular jacket from the Third Doctor. Oh yeah, I used to sew. Anyway. The insanity on the first day, Friday, happened. No, I didn’t give them any money (Please, if you don’t know what I mean, watch the video I linked above, its explanation is the best I’ve seen). The next day was way better, though. I got to meet my fellow Hoosier Doug Jones, the modern Man of a Thousand Faces, who played Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies. Doug is 6’ 4" and one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I told him about an essay I’d written for school about the Christian themes of the Hellboy comics, since I knew he’s a Christian like me, and he thought that was awesome.

Me meeting Doug Jones. I’m wearing my Eighth Doctor cosplay. My hair is not actually curly, it was a perm. My hair does not perm well. Then Sunday, the last day of the convention, Welcome to Night Vale was scheduled to do a live show, which cost extra. In the end, they walked because the con refused to pay them. I don’t blame them, honestly, but it was a little disappointing. Until someone had the idea to have a fan panel. They had several Cecil cosplayers and they asked if there was a Carlos, and my friend told me to go up and be on the panel, which she joined too. I have massive anxiety issues and I don’t like being the center of attention or even having multiple people looking at me. I’m always nervous when I have to go in front of people, but I gathered my courage and sat at a big table in front of a lot of people and talked. We answered audience questions in character, which was very fun, especially when an audience member asked me as Carlos how I escaped from the desert otherworld he was at the time trapped in. I had one of my rare moments of quick thinking and said “Have you ever heard of a man called the Doctor?” The assembled geeks, with many Whovians among them, cheered my response. It sounds conceited to say that, but they applauded and I knew I’d made someone– lots of someones– happy. That’s the best feeling in the world. Then we decided to do our own show,  and we chose “Old Oak Doors Part A,” which had been released the month prior. It’s a great episode, the beginning of the end for Strexcorp, and in its original form was a live show. Sharing iPhones and tablets to read a transcript online, we recreated it. My friend M played Intern Dana, I playing Carlos. There’s a part where Dana calls Carlos a hero, to which Carlos replies “I’m not a hero. I’m a scientist.” I read that line and the audience went insane. It was my finest moment. Dana’s next line was “Then scientist will always be my word for hero.” The audience exploded again and to this day I marvel at how a short exchange between two characters had such an impact on those listening. This panel and reading are, as much as I can recall, the first time I’d ever really had people applauding something I’d done on my own rather than as part of something else, like plays at church. And what made it even better is that it was something I would never have thought I would do. The convention was a disaster and many things could have gone better, and I still feel sorry we didn’t get to do some of the things we’d planned. But the good things that happened were worth it, to me. I listen to WTNV while doing chores and every year I start from the beginning again, and when I get to “Old Oak Doors,” I’m reminded of the spontaneous reading and my Big Line and how I’d faced a ton of fears that weekend and come out making others laugh. There is, as far as I know, no recording of that panel and reading online. I’ve searched YouTube and googled it but nothing has turned up. If anyone ever comes across it, I’d love to see it again. I’m also looking for pictures that were taken that I know were on my old blog at some point, in the hopes that I got them to my current blog before I deleted the old one. But even if I never find those pictures I have the memories. And a line that reminds me that I may not be a hero, but I still am what I work on being.

(I was originally going to post this on my Dreamwidth, but it was too big. Wow.)

Welcome to the third and final part of our staff interview series! This set of interviews focus on some of our most social staff members - our Discord moderators and our social media team. Once again, these pixies had a lot to say, so we’re tucking all of it under the “Keep reading” link!

WTP’s Discord server is the main place for the community to come together - in fact, we just passed 6,000 members! It’s extremely important to keep the server as safe and friendly as possible, and that’s where our beloved moderators come through. Without them, we wouldn’t have the loving WTP community!

Our moderators are Lila Almondpetal, Gloria Flutterflower, Daphne Moonflower, Anastasia Foxheart, Rose Morningmist, and Kassie.

What are some of your favorite memories about the original Pixie Hollow? And what are some things that you’re excited to see again in WTP?

Daphne: If I had to choose only one favorite thing then it would be shopping in Pixie Hollow especially those GORGEOUS gowns from the Queen's Boutique. It was the luxury store of Pixie Hollow, and the gowns they had were on a whole different level. I used to play Pixie Hollow every day as a kid and I even convinced my dad to get me the annual membership. I was able to make a lot of friends from different parts of the world because of the game. My best memories of the game are of Camp Pixie Dust! As for what I’m excited to see in WTP, I am exhilarated about the Tearoom and Animal Derby coming back since those were the only places you could play with other players. They were always packed with other fairies and sparrowmen and I used to hang out in those two places the most.

In her interview, Daphne sent us some pictures of two of her favorite things in Pixie Hollow - a couple of screenshots of Camp Pixie Dust and her favorite gown from the Queen’s Boutique.

Anastasia: Honestly? As a kid, I spent most of my time attending the parties. The minigames there were always so addicting! Gameplay wise, I loved baking and tailoring! I wasn't as invested in it as other Disney MMOs because I never was able to get a Pixie Hollow Membership, but I still loved to play it! It influenced my decision to play the DS games, as well as the Fashion Boutique mobile game! I will say that my love of the original Pixie Hollow has benefited my life in many ways as without it, I wouldn't have so many memories with friends I've made along the way. Also, I would've never found WTP! I think one of my best memories from Pixie Hollow has to be from the one party where I won almost all of the party games. I was pretty young when I was really into Pixie Hollow, so although it's a bit silly, I just remember feeling super proud and feeling like the queen of the party, haha! As a kid, I never really appreciated the quests (although I did do them), so I am excited for those to come back & relive that experience. However, since WTP will not have a paywall for any of the experiences from the original Pixie Hollow, I am incredibly excited to explore The Wilderness for the first time!

Lila: My favorite part of the original game was honestly how open and free it was! There was always so much to do in the game, but I never felt pressured to do any of it if I didn't want to. I could go crazy one day playing games and doing quests, and then I could spend the next day flying around, just admiring the scenery and doing absolutely nothing in terms of progress. There were no obligations at all - I think that's why I remember the game so well. I was also really invested in it - I actually kept a journal about what I did in the game, can you believe it? I would say it's made my life better in a couple of ways - when the game was still open, it was a fantastic stress reliever, and even now I love thinking about it (plus, it led me to WTP!). As for my favorite memory… well, there are so many! I'd have to say my favorite was the time a Sparrow Man and I flirted in the Tearoom using nothing but those preset Speedchat phrases. I don't know who started it, but I'm pretty sure we were both non-members at the time - maybe we were drawn together by those Arrival Day outfits. We ended up drawing a crowd; I remember seeing a lot of clapping emojis and hearts. It was insane! Sadly, we forgot to add each other as friends, so we never saw each other again. I just got out my old journal to check if I wrote down his name - and I apparently did! Figfig, my guy, if you’re out there, I was either Twilight Olivemist or Karina Lightningflame at the time. As for what I’m excited for, I'm super excited for all of the meadows to come back! I loved just flying around and seeing all of the gorgeous artwork. And multiplayer, of course - Pixie Hollow was such a social game. I loved those little things like sitting on a branch and chatting.

Gloria: My favorite part of the original game was definitely the community aspect! I made a lot of friends in Pixie Hollow that were really special to me. It was so much fun to play games and throw parties with other pixies in the Hollow! I played the original game from January 2009 to its closing in 2013. I was really invested in the game and played very often! It definitely helped me embrace my inner child and hold onto magic longer than a lot of my peers, something I am grateful for. One great memory I have of the game was the events. I specifically loved the Silly Days Event, which allowed users to access the Mermaid Grotto. And Camp Pixie Dust, of course! For WTP, I am super excited for questing! It was a really unique experience every time and led to neat storylines which allowed players to unlock some cool items. I really liked the added structure of quests in game.

Rose: I was mildly obsessed with Pixie Hollow for a good majority of my childhood. I was picked on quite a bit when I was younger, so Pixie Hollow became this sort of safe haven for me, where I could express myself without fear of judgement. I spent a lot of my time roleplaying with online friends, pretending to be waitresses in the Tearoom, or secret agents fighting crime and protecting the Hollow – it was a lot of fun. Some of my first ever story ideas came from some of those roleplays, which lead to me starting a blog and later pursuing a career as an author, so I actually owe a lot to the game and the friends I made there. My favorite thing was probably decorating my home – I loved creating different settings with all the furniture I had, from cafés to ice palaces. It was a lot of fun. I'm super excited for multiplayer – I’ve made so many friends through the PBC (Pixie Blogging Community) and WTP, so I can’t wait for when we can hang out in-game.

Kassie: I played Pixie Hollow starting in late 2008 until it closed! Every day after school I would grab my snack and head to the computer to play for at LEAST an hour. Narrowing down my favorite part of the game is so hard!! But if I had to choose I would say getting creative with outfits and color combos! I loved going to fashion contests and seeing other people's creations- that's actually how I met a lot of my friends. I think Pixie Hollow benefited me as a way to escape from the stresses of the real world. Middle school and early high school were difficult seasons for me and it was nice to venture into a mystical land where I felt people truly cared for me. One of my favorite memories was when I met my friend Strawberry. We were mutual friends with someone and we both went to her house at the same time. However, our friend was asleep (remember the lil z's?) and so we started talking and suddenly we became the best of friends! Over 10 years later we are still friends and catch up with each other once in a while. We don't live far from each other so we hope to meet each other someday! Honestly, I’m most excited to have house decorating in WTP! I remember people would spend HOURS decorating their homes and doing the coolest designs- I always concentrated more on fashion so I'd love the chance to redeem myself and design an awesome home!

How did you first find out about the WTP project and what inspired you to start working as a moderator?

Kassie: A lot of my close friends started up the project and eventually invited me to be a part of it as a moderator! In our friend group I tended to be the one to mediate conversations, so I think it was a no-brainer to ask me to moderate.

Daphne: When I got to know about Club Penguin rewrites, I thought there might be a rewrite for Pixie Hollow as well and I stumbled upon a YouTube video which mentioned WTP. I really wanted to help out with the project in any way I could so that really motivated me to become a moderator.

Anastasia: I actually found out about the WTP project through Teresa, on another Pixie Hollow site where she first posted the Bubble Bounce demo! She even DM'd me about potentially helping out as an artist, which I've always wanted to do! However, due to my schedule being a bit too busy to consistently help out with game art, I never felt like I could apply. However, I've always tried to help out in other ways, such as when I was an Event Manager & hosted movie nights! When it was decided that movie nights were going to take a hiatus, I really wanted to continue helping out in the community, and thus, I became a mod!

Lila: I first found out about We The Pixies when I joined a Club Penguin rewrite. I hadn't thought about Pixie Hollow in years, but then I wondered if someone else had rewritten Pixie Hollow, so I looked it up and found WTP! As for joining the moderation team, I'd been pretty active on the server when the application opened up, and I really loved the community. I figured I'd give it a shot - worst they could say was no, right? Well, I ended up getting the role! It’s been a really great job ever since.

Gloria: I found out about We the Pixies while doing some Google searches and checking out the Pixie Hollow community this year. I definitely jumped at the opportunity to apply to be a moderator because I have so much passion for the project and wanted to help out and connect with others who also had interest. 

Rose: I found WTP through Phoebe Bumbleflip’s blog – she published a post promoting the remake and the Discord back in October last year. I don’t have any skills that can really help with the recreation of the game itself, but I wanted to contribute in any way I could, which is what inspired me become a moderator.

(Phoebe is a member of the WTP Hype Squad, you can find her blog here!)

The WTP community is mostly positive, but have you ever had instances where you felt like server members weren't being the nicest? If so, how do you deal with it?

Anastasia: Since I'm new to the staff team, I've only ever come across a handful of issues involving the members, and most of them resolve with ease. Typically, directing people to the rules and giving them a warning is enough.

Lila: With so many people in the server, it's not unusual to see something that isn't so friendly - usually, if an argument starts up in the chat, reminding people of the rules or starting a new conversation fixes things. If things are really bad, I might talk to someone individually and ask them nicely to be, well, nicer.

Gloria: In my time on the staff so far, we have had a couple trolls and people who haven't complied with the rules, and in that situation, we generally like to calmly message the person and ask them to comply with the server rules. In my experience thus far, this usually sorts out the problem. However, if the issue persists, the moderation team would consult each other and figure out how to deal with it further based on the severity of the behavior.

Rose: They’re very rare, but we have had to deal with some disputes with upset or angry members. Usually us moderators will talk and discuss the issue and then decide the best course of action together.

Kassie: There's always going to be someone unkind who comes across the server every now and then. I think the best way to handle it is to tell them what rule they're breaking and WHY it's important that they adhere to the rule. Ultimately, our rules are about respecting everyone in the community. If we can help them empathize and understand respect I think that's making strides not only in the WTP community but hopefully in EVERY community that individual is a part of.

We've had a few events in the WTP community, how does creating one come about and how do you plan it?

Anastasia: Excellent question! As a former Event Manager, I'm the right Pixie to ask!

It all starts with the approval of administration. Once the admins approve of it (and other staff have no issues with it), you can go forward and begin scheduling a time. We typically don't do events without having a proper schedule or time frame. We also try to accommodate other time zones as best as we can, since we know that WTP has Pixies from across the globe! Then, you need to designate certain responsibilities to people. This was the purpose of the Event Managers, since we were in charge of hosting Movie/Game Night. I have a lot of good memories hosting movie nights with Alchemist (Lavender) and Asteria! With other events, staff members are chosen to have either a leading role or a helping hand in making sure the event goes smoothly. Even if they aren't in charge, it is important to note that all events typically require staff supervision. Now, planning it typically involves a discussion among the staff (and any other WTP players that may be involved in helping out). We usually try to make sure that the community voice is heard, and that they can get involved! Our main goal is always to bring everyone together while having fun, and that is the foundation of all our events.

Daphne: The Hype Squad is the creative mind behind all the events we have. Since we can not have in-game events (which we definitely will once the game is fully developed), the Hype Squad tries to come up with flitterific events to keep us in the pixie hollow spirit while we wait. Our former team of event managers was behind the shorter events such as the numerous game nights and movie nights.

Lila: Starting an event is absolutely a team effort - no matter where or who the idea comes from, we like to talk about it for a while first. For example, I had the idea for Meadow Madness one night out of the blue, and I made sure to run it by the staff and Hype Squad before I started anything up. It ended up being a huge success - we had an average of 200 respondents per round, which was pretty neat for something I came up with in ten minutes.

Rose: There’s quite a bit of planning that goes on behind the scenes for events – a lot of events are actually planned by the Hype Squad (which I am a part of) or our social media team. An idea will be presented by a team member, and then we’ll all discuss it – what our thoughts are on the suggestion, and how we’d go about holding it if it were to become an actual event. If everyone on the team agrees and the staff are okay with it, we’ll then start deciding dates for the event and preparing things like banners and announcement posts. Sometimes we’ll also have one of our members act as coordinator too, to make sure everything is running smoothly during the event itself.

Kassie: I'm personally not one of the head honchos who puts events together, but it comes down to listening to a bunch of ideas and trying to figure out which one best fits the needs and desires of the community!

How do you fit working on WTP into your schedule?

Daphne: I finished high school in April and I can't really start college until quarantine is over, so I pretty much don't have anything to do at home right now so it's easy for me to make time for WTP.

Anastasia: I try my best to moderate whenever I can- usually in my spare time. We get a lot of newcomers each day, so there always seems to be someone who needs help getting verified, or a Pixie who needs some other sort of assistance. That's the thing about having such a large community: we always seem to have some moderating to do!

Lila: I actually have the apps I need for moderation (and social media work) on my phone - now that I'm not in school for the summer, I'm traveling a lot, so I don't sit down and use my laptop very often. I think I use Discord on my phone more than my laptop, actually. Using mobile lets me check the server whenever I have a spare moment, so I can keep up with things wherever I go.

Gloria: I have a really flexible schedule in general as school and life goes, so I am able to make time to moderate and spend a lot of time online.

Rose: Mostly by multitasking – I’m almost always online, even if I’m doing other things, so it’s not too tricky to keep an eye on the server throughout the day.

Kassie: It's hard sometimes, but the easiest way for me to stay connected is to keep my notifications on when I'm not busy with the mandatory things in life like my job, planning my wedding, and investing in relationships outside of the community. Giving myself the chance to walk away here and there leaves me refreshed for the next time I log on!

Two of our moderators, Kassie and Lila, also serve on our social media team, so we asked them a special question:

How do you use social media to grow the community?

Lila: Social media is a great place to post about game updates and community events. I've found that few posts get people more excited than posts about new game features. Update posts also let people know that, yes, we are still up and running! Sometimes people think we've shut down already, and social media helps us keep the project alive.

Kassie: Social Media is all about messages. I think what attracts people to join a community is to send a message they resonate with! In WTP's case, nostalgia plays a huge part in growing our community- we are trying to attract people who are excited about something they wish they had again.

One final question for all of our moderators: what’s your favorite part of your job, and is there a way it’s benefited you?

Daphne:  Definitely talking and getting to know so many people from across the globe. I'm always down for making new friends! For me, the most impact moderating for WTP has had is on my people skills. As a moderator, you have to ensure that everyone is following the rules and sometimes people need convincing to follow a rule. It also involves solving any issues related to the game/Discord server and communicating with the members in general, which really develops your people skills.

Anastasia: Honestly, my favorite part of being a mod is being able to interact with the other staff members. They're a really lovely and creative group of people, and it's fun bouncing ideas off of each other and figuring out what's best for everyone in this community! I wouldn't quit WTP for the world! Working for WTP has benefited me a lot as so far, it's helped me work on the ways I can help organize a community. Also, it is helping me work on my time management skills, as well as my ability to work in a team.

Lila: I think my favorite part of my job is, as corny as it sounds, watching this community grow! When I joined, we had maybe 500 users in the server, and we're well over 6000 now. I never thought that so many people would remember the game, but they do. It's remarkable, really. Working for WTP is probably the best volunteer position I've ever taken up. Moderating has really helped me learn how to think things through and get help when I need it. Working on social media has also been great for my writing and graphic design skills - I've got to say that I've gotten pretty good at color combinations!

Gloria: My favorite part of moderating is helping people in the player server and sparking interest and discussion among users. It's so much fun to reminisce about the hollow with other fans. Though I haven't been on the team for a very long time, it has already been lots of fun and I have really enjoyed connecting with the community even more and getting others interested in the revival project. And the other staff members are very cool people that are really rad to work with.

Rose: My favorite part of my job is welcoming new people to the server! Being a moderator has definitely helped with my problem-solving skills – working out ways to handle situations on the server.

Kassie: Being friends with the staff is my favorite part. It is always a joy to log on to laugh and learn with friends. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Asteria and I have created a pretty strong friendship (hopefully she agrees, haha). We've known each other for about 4 years now. She makes me laugh out loud and we've been there for each other in our victories and failures. Her friendship is one I deeply cherish and I hope we get to meet sometime in the future! I care a lot about connection, community, and friendship, so for me, being a part of this team is a way for me to foster those things and be a part of it! I think I've benefited from WTP by learning how to guide hard conversations and disagreements in a respectful manner. Many people think moderators just manage the community, but a huge part of our job is to aid staff in having constructive conversations. There are definitely ruffled wings here and there, but we always get through and I've really grown through those processes!

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Thank you all so much for sticking with us during our interview series! We had a lot of fun answering your questions, and we hope you had a flaptastic time reading them.

Intelligent child ;; Tomoko Fujimoto

We’re gonna kick this off by introducing today’s birthday girl, Tomoko! 

That’s right, Tomoko is born on April Fool’s day! Why? Because her life is a JOKE! Haha! But in all seriousness, this is the first of the few OCs I’ll introduce to you guys, if you enjoy these kinds of posts! I’m a little nervous about sharing these characters with you all, but I love creating unique, interesting characters and I love seeing unique, interesting characters, so I thought I’d share mine! I’ll be sharing basic character information, but if you guys ever want to send in asks about these characters, I’d be very happy to answer any questions. As always, thank you for reading my work and supporting my blog!  Now without further ado, Tomoko:

Personality 

THIS BITCH IS ARIES AS SHIT!!! I’m only partially kidding. Tomoko is a self motivated, Type A personality to the nth degree. The type of ‘used to be in the gifted program and she hasn’t lost her edge but she has a sense of humor now’. She’s assertive, often taking the lead in group projects, and is observant and considerate of people’s strengths and weaknesses. She’s practical, sweet, and is typically willing to help out. Very girl scout, in energy. Like, Tomoko ain’t no pushover, but she’s not a bitch without a reason, and is in fact very warm, a little silly and affectionate with most friends or people she’s close to. Can she be a bitch though? You bet. And she loves it. Tomoko often talks people into a corner, and has a bad habit of assuming things, or assuming that people should be able to tell what bothers her. 

She jumps to confrontation easily, and while she’s not one for physical fights, typically she internalizes a lot of her issues until she explodes or antagonizes the people she has a problem with. She’s also convinced she has to do everything herself, and has, generally, a very, very hard time truly trusting people. She can be a bit melancholy, and often overthinks problems to death. It makes her great for managerial positions, but life isn’t about managing people, lol. She feels a deep need to be perfect, and this fuels her already competitive nature. any game with any kind of point system? All’s fair in love and war. 

History 

o know the history of Tomoko Fujimoto is to step back one generation, in the Village Hidden in the Mist. Tomoko’s mother, Aoi Fujimoto, is the sole survivor of a brutal massacre that befell her clan during one of Kirigakure’s many internal skirmishes. Their name is scrubbed from all official records, and little is known about them other than they were in possession of a truly unique bloodline limit, and that they were a reclusive and unfriendly people. Aoi, for her part, spent much of her young life a trophy passed around from one clan to the next, valued for her blood but never respected, and never allowed much freedom. That is until she fell hard and fast for the son of a small time Yakuza leader, and together they ran off, never staying in one place for long, but always doing as they liked. Robbing, gambling, drinking, nothing was off limits for these two.  That is, until Aoi became pregnant, and she and her lover-turned-shotgun husband settled down in a secluded area in Fire Country, buying a small onsen with what little money they could scrape together, and trying to achieve some sense of normalcy. Aoi gave birth to Tomoko, and while business was never exactly booming and Tomoko lived a life of isolation from other children, things were okay enough. Aoi’s husband, Tomoko’s father, could never quite adjust to onsen life and was a poor father, to put it lightly. Strict, demanding, and violent, Tomoko and her father had an incredibly turbulent relationship. Tomoko grew close with her maternal grandfather, who came to stay with the family under vague, foggy circumstances, and the old man taught her basic martial arts and taijutsu.

After his death - a possible suicide - at age twelve, Tomoko had to work hard to maintain the onsen and care for her mother, whose life of chaos and violence caught up to her after her husband’s death in the form of a year of not leaving her room, and often sleeping for hours at a time. While other children started trade careers or continued their schooling, Tomoko learned the ins and outs of the hospitality trade, and over the years learned how to manage, schedule, pay, and control the somewhat unruly staff of the onsen. Cut to Tomoko, seventeen, overworked, underpaid, feuding with a mother who suddenly wants to take back control of her business, and ultimately, very lonely. 

Either she meets Sasuke Uchiha just before the Fourth Great Ninja War, and while the two pass each other like ships in the night, they do, vaguely remember each other when they meet again, Sasuke with only one arm and a world of sadness on his back. Tomoko travels the world with Sasuke, and while neither were looking for romance, they slowly but surely find in each other the understanding and companionship they mutually craved for so, so long. Tomoko eventually marries Sasuke, and they have several children. In this alternative, Tomoko is less prickly, generally happier, and she and Sasuke have a much easier time, ironically, navigating the pitfalls of marriage than their peers. They’re an intensely private couple with a very tight, united front. To an outsider, they probably seem cold - until Sasuke runs his fingers over his wife’s elbow, and she, almost unconsciously, leans against his side. There’s a certain understanding between the two that’s almost creepy, but they also talk often, or write to one another. Tomoko is the Uchiha matron, and is a thorn in the council’s side. Radically political PTA mom vibes.

Alternatively, she meets Gaara of the Desert, days after the Fourth Great Ninja War’s end, and they two become odd, fast friends. They both share a love of literature, and Tomoko’s airy nature and the ease in which she fills the silence for both of them warms Gaara to her. They write to one another often, and one often visited the other in the intermediate years that blended into ‘courting’ and ‘we’re just penpals’. One anguished confession after a failed arranged marriage on Gaara’s end of things, and Tomoko and Gaara married at age twenty-two, which for ninjas, as we all know, is absolutely old as balls. Tomoko doesn’t take well to her position as Lady Kazekage, despite her and Gaara’s generally happy marriage. The council disliked the idea of a foreigner marrying into the Kazekage clan, and made a bit of a game out of making their new Lady’s life as difficult as possible. Between this, Tomoko and Gaara’s personal struggles in having children, being unable to communicate or understand the other well, and the onset of until-then-simmering mental illness brought on by the prolonged stress of being a public figure, the couples marriage was .... rocky. Yes i love this ship. Yes they go to therapy. Yes she (eventually) loves Shinki more than she loves 99% of everything else in her life.

In both of these Alternative Futures, Tomoko becomes an author, writing prose horror novels and poetry compilations. 

Stats/Fun Facts

- Tomoko has PTSD, and later in her life suffers from chronic pain due to several broken bones that never quite healed right in her youth.

- Tomoko is a civilian with some martial arts training, but she doesn’t know how to perform ninjutsu or genjutsu, and has largely been insulated from the ninja world growing up.

- Actually has huge difficulty in achieving chakra control, and later comes to find out that she has a rare genetic disorder that disrupts the flow of chakra in her body. This is why, in conjunction with her PTSD, Tomoko struggles with her lethargy later in life. It’s slightly corrected with acupuncture, and if it had been caught at an earlier age, Tomoko would’ve been much better off, if not completely healthy.

- This bitch TALL at 6′2 ft. Yes the pink hair is natural. The boobs are too.

- Likes going on random, meandering walks. Hiking is her favorite hobby after writing.

- Her mom gushes over and adores either of her husbands. Sasuke or Gaara gets a MILF in law who hugs and kisses them every time they visit and that’s facts.

- as Lady Kazekage, her fashion sense drifts from kimonos and casual dresses to ... sexier waters. A council member made a comment over her clothing choices one too many times and now Tomoko wears floor length dresses for hot bitches and hot bitches only.

LIKES: Hikes, pomegranates, cooking, making lists, writing, winter

DISLIKES: Clutter, whining, apricots, folding laundry, anywhere with high humidity

below are some messy sketches of the girl, the gal, the main squeeze

[[ Before I start: This is based on my headcanons. It is in no way founded with any kind of canon or something (aside from the fact that this festival exists in canon and the necklaces have also been shown), and the date is also (mostly randomly) chosen by me. ]]

Today, on the 17th of April, is when the tamaranean festival named Blorthog takes place!

What is Blorthog, you ask? It is the tamaranean festival to celebrate friendships. It is important to realize the value of your friendships, so that you can treat them with as much importance as when they were new. This celebration is held to help admit the feelings of friendship that are there, to recall them and remember them again.

How is it celebrated? The most prominent feature of Blorthog are the necklaces. They are self-made, with care and without limitations about their colors. The common-used variant are simple white/grey-ish beads, but there is no explicit rule to stick to those. These necklaces are carefully placed around the friend’s necks, while exchaning well-wishes. The basic of the festival is only the gifting of necklaces and then the spending time with friends. There are more activities that can be done, but none is truly necessary. Examples of other activities are: - A very long hugging - Standing in a circle (if there are more than two people, otherwise standing in front of each other), holding hands and voicing what one is grateful for in their present friends - As it is also common in most earthen festivities, on Blorthog there is very often a cake to be shared among friends, as well - Exchanging of other, thoughtful, gifts (as in what the other long dreamed of but would never get for themselves). Gifting from a wishlist - or gifting gift coupons or the likes - is wrong though, it is way too shallow to be appropriate for a festival that celebrates strong friendships

There are more activities that can be done, some of which require the tamaranean abilities or are rather rough, but these are the most common ones.

What does this mean for your blog? Well, if we’re mutuals (if you’re reading this on my sideblogs then please remember that I follow back from @starfirechan and not from here), I understand that as permission to maybe have my tamaranean come into your inbox, wishing to celebrate it with you. If this ever bothers you but you still wish to keep following me, please tell me that you do not like this and I will make a note to keep you out of this. Please also see this as an open invitation to have your muse come to my askbox (or tag me in a post if you prefer) and show the wish to celebrate Blorthog with my tamaraneans.

I’d prefer it if there is a sort-of logical explanation for why your character knows of the tamaranean festival. - If they have any kind of relationship with Starfire (maybe except enemies), it makes sense that she could have explained the festivity and it’s date in some talk they had “off-screen” (or even in a RP). - Blackfire would never talk much about her home planet or the festivals there though, so it’s highly unlikely you would learn about it from her (your muse could have learned about it through someone else though and like ‘confront’ her with it or something!), and - Wildfire has been told of the date, but he only remembers little bits and pieces of the actual festivity; he has learned more about it from Starfire last year and so he now is at least a bit prepared to celebrate it with his friends, but he still wouldn’t talk to them about the day before it comes as he doesn’t feel like he knows enough to explain it well. - Moonshot isn’t exactly the biggest talker, so while he definitely values tamaranean festivities he probably would not have explained it to anyone unless directly asked about it in some way. As for celebrating it, he does so with the tamaranean festivities whenever he can - but there aren’t really people that he would actually call friends, here yet (unless counting Starfire of course). - Starlight doesn’t care much about tamaranean traditions or festivities, so it’s unlikely she would explain it to anyone, or celebrate it. - Galfore… I mean, he is on Tamaran, he wouldn’t leave the planet on a celebration as common and known and valued on Tamaran as Blorthog. It is possible that he told other muses about the date beforehand, but he probably wouldn’t know of the exact earthen date for it; and what he might do to actually celebrate it with people from Earth is limited to talking through the communication systems of the Titans - or of course your muse comes to Tamaran but I assume that’s unlikely.

There are of course other ways your muses could have learned about it, and I’m open to those. But if e.g. an ‘ordinary human’ with no previous contact to anything alien related whatsoever suddenly knows all of Blorthog I just don’t think I could enjoy it that much.

I wasn’t sure if I wanna do it, but I thought it’s a nice gesture to do it, so like last year, I will approach some people through their asks. I won’t do that for many since I feel like Blorthog-threads usually are rather boring and die down quickly, and (assuming the other person answers the ask) when I offer a continuation of the thread, I’ll try to mention that right away in the tags too in a way to explain that I don’t mind if we not continue it. Please be aware that I can’t reach everyone, it is easy to miss out on a blog and I also will not bother anyone that isn’t active currently. I’ll only pick a few whom I send stuff to, and it has to make sense to me how my muses find yours and meet them and the likes, but as I said above, you’re free to send me something for Blorthog as well! Don’t feel sad if you don’t get any ask from me, I most likely either have a good explanation for it, or missed you when going through my list of mutuals.

Oh, and one more thing! This celebration also means that I will try to focus on that. Not entirely, I will see to get at least some replies done too, but my focus on such a day will be on asks/replies/threads about the “holiday” that currently is. And for the next week or so, Blorthog-related threads will be handled prioritized over others. Not to mention I’ll be terribly nervous for at least half the day because of sending stuff to people.

I think that’s all I need to explain; if there are any questions, always feel free to come into my inbox and ask me! All the threads or (IC-)posts related to Blorthog will (on my blogs) be tagged with: #I Wish You A Happy Blorthog!

2009 to 2019

I see people everywhere talking about the decade gone by and making comparisons of 2009 to 2019; how things have changed in the last 10 years. Now i’m here to do the same, I find it impossible to express in words.

I don’t remember the last turn of the decade. I don’t remember 2009 into 2010, and that’s strange because I’ve always been one of those people who invested a lot of emotional connections into dates and milestones. I remember being overwhelmed with excitement about the change of decade from 1989 to 1990, and of course the millennium bullshit that we were subjected to for practically three years before the actual event. But I don’t remember 2009 into 2010.

There’s a reason for that. I was dead on the inside. Speaking as someone who was depressed from the age of 5 onwards, I had never been so unhappy and deeply depressed in every way. There were many, many reasons for that, too many to go into, but the turn of the year and the decade wasn’t something to celebrate. Then again, nothing really was.

But I went through the motions and spent my life pretending, just as I had done as far back as I could remember. And the first few years of the decade grew gradually worse and worse until I hit the lowest point at the start of November 2012. I’ve talked about that night multiple times; saved by the Homestuck notifier going off, throwing my faith into tumblr to keep me going. I held onto one thought: that if something as unimportant as a webcomic updating could still make me feel excitement then there was still something to hold onto. That maybe I wasn’t completely dead on the inside. 

Now i’m looking back and realising, that was right near the start of the decade. That was over seven years ago. Seven years?! 

Tumblr is responsible for pretty much everything, in some way or another. People have different experiences everywhere but my experience here has been life changing in only positive ways. I first joined when I got into homestuck. I loved watching the chaos unfold after every update and seeing what the community was saying. But the more I got into blogging here the more I learned about the world, and the more I learned about myself. 

Through tumblr I learned more about gender and sexuality than I probably would have ever encountered elsewhere. It was here that I started to finally look at the gender issues i’d been burying as far back as I could remember. It was here that I started to question whether I was asexual thanks to learning about the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. And it was thanks to tumblr that I had a word to explain the sudden awakening of my sex drive upon meeting the love of my life at the age of 33: demisexuality!

It was through tumblr that I learned to not only accept but to love my body. It was through tumblr that I stopped being ashamed of my fetish and to embrace and enjoy it instead. It was through tumblr that I made some amazing friends and fun mutuals. It was through tumblr that I became terrified of peanut butter after a certain traumatic morning!!!

But above and beyond everything, it was thanks to Tumblr that I met Lucy. And here, I run out of eloquence. Words can’t cover what she means to me. Words can’t express the love, the like, the lust, the friendship, the hilarity, the passion, the laughter, the intimacy, the closeness, the warmth, the way every single day I spend with her feels as though I’m finally where I belong. 

And it all started because I recalled a friend who used to bring marmite and lettuce sandwiches to college every day and posted about my distressing memory <3

I think, that November night, that was when I started applying the brakes to my old life. It took a while for them to slow things down... exactly 4 months, to be precise. I was treading water, struggling still, drowning, turning the ‘fake’ up to a hundred. I’d already spent a lifetime pretending. Pretending to be happy, to be normal, to be a straight, cis girl, to be what i was expected to be. I just had to turn that up a few notches. I poured my energy into tumblr, faked being happy and confident, pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that I needed a map to get back to it. But luckily, with time, my comfort zone extended out to meet me halfway :)

3rd March 2013, the brakes finally pulled my old life to a halt. Three days later, the engine started and the journey towards a new one began, thanks to an ask about organising randoms ;)

The path to where I am now hasn’t been easy. Escaping years of abuse leaves lasting scars. But now i’m sitting at the end of a decade that changed everything and there’s something very important that I want to share.

It is never too late. Never. It doesn’t matter how many bad years are stacked up on one side of the scales, it is never too late to begin redressing the balance. Any day can be the day you decide to be true to yourself. Any day can be the day you embrace a part of yourself you've tried to keep hidden. Any day can be the day you escape. And, any day can be the day you meet someone who can change your life. A friend, a lover, a confidante, a colleague, a stranger, someone on the end of an anonymous message. Any day can be the day that everything can turn on its head and start again. You just need to make sure you’re still holding on when that day comes.

No life is perfect. It’s been a rough year with health, money and the boat flooding twice. But there’s a phrase that sums things up which I can’t help feeling i’ll eventually have placed beneath my skin with ink:

Even the very hardest of days now are a hundred times brighter than the very very best of days before.

There’s no comparison. 2019 wins, every time.

Thank you for being a part of this journey. Some of you i’ve followed on here from my very early days on tumblr, some of you i’ve only met in the last few months, but all of you help to make my dash a brighter place and put a smile on my face. Tumblr has its faults, but it’s the site that changed my life.

Goodbye 2019. Goodbye 2010s. 2020, be good to me. Be good to all of us. 

And a very, very happy new year everybody ♥️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤

I accidentally stalked an e-girl

Oh god, this may be clickbaity and makes no sense but I have no idea how on Earth I’m supposed to title it, so I should just explain.

I’m really just using this blog as a playground where I can just talk about things on a whim rather than get in my head about how its curated, so if a title makes me kinda look bad, so be it. 

We’ll refer to this lady as G. She is a recognised (not prominent) singer/rapper in the UK, specifically London, and I was a fan of her music. At that point, she was fairly fresh in the game, with her 30 minute soundcloud mix/EP released that garnered traction from my spotify suggestion playlist.

Absolutely typical e-girl look. Conventionally attractive, with a alternative edge of coloured hair and piercings.

The first time I had seen her in person, she was getting off the overground at highbury and islington station. I recognised her by her hair, but didn’t have time to properly see if it was her, so I decided to tweet her when I was home asking if she was there wearing a lilac maxi-skirt. 

Turns out, she replied, it was a pair of long and loose trousers.

Anyway. You’d think the story ended there, however not on my watch apparently. 

I was in a cafe near my university and I saw her!

She was sat down, drinking a cup of tea or something, and I asked her if she was who I thought she was.

She was! I was excited! We had a long chat about her situation and found out she was local to the area. I thought it would be a great idea to keep in touch with her as one of my upcoming projects was to film a music video, and I figured that this would be the perfect opportunity to do so. 

We exchanged socials and went about our day. 

I was so joyfully inept after that interaction, that I left my Macbook in the cafe, as I was supposed to be working there.

Thankfully I managed to retrieve it, but the story of getting to that point will probably be a shorter, separate one. I’ll add the scope for a hyperlink here when I get to it. 

Long story short, although G was lovely, her management refused to let us shoot with her for the music video, and that was fine. 

We found another artist, and moved on with our lives. I was happy that we (to this day) are still mutuals and was comfortable admiring her from a distance.

Our paths crossed again during- wait for it- a Charli XCX/PC music halloween party I won tickets for. 

When we (my friend and I) were in, it was quickly established who won their entry, and who was invited, made possible by balenciaga drip coating members of The Echelon™️ and different coloured wristbands. 

That’s why some people on the invite list actively refused to talk to me, and it really affected my confidence in speaking to others at the time, making it a bit overwhelming to do more than wave at her when we caught each other dancing. 

To summarise, a lot of shit went down (enabling another linkeroo here) but there was a succinct moment where I could’ve caught up with G, beyond just dancing with her during a DJ set, but due a massive kerfuffle to the say the least, I had to rush around and ignore her. 

Looking back on it, it would’ve been a good idea to have shot her a quick DM apologising for the lack of catch up but I was really overwhelmed by the entire situation and figured she was “over me” because she got invited to a party that I could only enter by chance. 

Fast forward to not much interaction until I meet her by absolute chance! One of my favourite pastimes has and always will be viewing live music- and as someone who had their fair share of viewing industry giants (a privilege I can attribute to my childhood bestie’s mum’s career), at that point in alternative-ville I was obsessed with those who were up and coming. 

So we are at this gig, and I am aware that the musician performing has, in fact, interacted with G on social media in the past, but figured that was about it. 

The person performing was a really little known musician from Scotland that spotify suggested for me (thanks again, spots) and it was really surprising to see that G was there!

I bit my tongue again the entire time, and kept to the rear sides/bar although I’m pretty sure she noticed me. Firstly, I was just way too awkward to initiate the reunion, and Secondly, was under the weird impression that to her, there could only be so many weird occurances to see my face and call it a coincidence. 

Hence the title of this post!

Gosh, I hope that whoever is reading this is finding it entertaining.

As mentioned previously, we are still following each other on social media, but I’ve never and am still really uncomfortable communicating with her because I have been perpetually feeling like an awkward fan who’s toeing the line of accidental stalker, when I really just want nothing other to be a chill acquaintance or maybe friend if I got to know her better. 

The reason why I made this my premier post is because it was recently brought up in (socially distant) conversation with my friend. They mentioned that they had a crush on this guitarist they knew in a band, and with a bit of research I discovered guitarist and G were mates, and that the band they were in were going on tour with her at the end of the year!

Who woulda thought. Now I have to wrestle with the idea of playing wingman to my friend and risk gig security being on my ass in the event that I am seen as some kind of threat. 

I promise I’m not!! I’m just here for the vibes.

Tell me, team, should I go to the gig? Am I being too anxious about this whole palaver? Let me know by messaging me! 

Also, what type of content would you like to see more of? As much as this is a personal contribution, I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts of Shoreditch and how painful it can actually be. 

Signing off, 

L xx

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   tagged by the always wonderful @foxcharmed tagging:    anyone that follows me, sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO. Well, he is the main character of the show, but seeing as there’s only me & @legcndreportr that write character from the show, I’d say, the RP fandom for it is tiny, but I think a lot of people that watch dramas like the show & the characters.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I mean, he’s played by Ji Chang Wook, I mean, obviously yes. Have you seen just how many fan JCW blogs there are on this site? Understandable. Honestly, and truly.  ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I’d say he’s very skilled & flawed. There are many things that he can do, many things that he is good at, but the slew of both traumatic and just plain shitty things that had happened to him over the early years of his childhood, combined with HUGE abandonment issues that he has never really dealt with. All of that can make certain mundane things a lot harder than any 007 stuff that he sometimes does. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I think, even though I love the character, obv been RPing him for years. I hate that people don’t STAN the other characters as much, especially the other main female characters that are just as interesting, complex and worth loving. But alas that is the world we live in. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO,he is the main story, if you know what I mean. But no, seriously, he is the main character. 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Yeah, but tbh, I find it that in the show, the two main characters are equally sorted in the first place, Jung-hoo is nothing without Young-shin. There would be no development, no revelation about his life, childhood and interesting complex storytelling and showing without her.  ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. [ One would assume that I should put YES for this, buuuut, while HEALER is known to the criminal underbelly, police and those that would want or need to hire someone like him, the general public has no idea. Which is exactly what he wants, because attention isn’t really a useful thing in his line of work, or just the way he lives his life.  ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ Good when it comes to how skilful he is, but bad as a person. His character arc really goes a looong way from where he is in episode 1. Like the first thing we see is him playing a tennis VR game, complaining that he can’t pick the character he is playing against to have less clothes (that being a computer-generated character but still), which isn’t really all that interesting and for sure not someone I’d be all into writing. And also his lack of care when it comes to what he does, like the guy he was protecting also in ep 1. Ends up dead, and he’s annoyed bc the police think he killed him, the fact that he’s dead, he couldn’t care less. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I’ve been writing him for over two years, and it’s just no fun to just follow the canon. He has developed overtime on his own, and besides that, I just never really like any CANON fully. When it comes to the show, bc there are only 16 eps, and as with most dramas there is only one season. So I’ve taken the liberty to expand on the canon and to create Jung-hoo as I think he’d be, away from the scenes we can see him in.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   For me personally, I really found it interesting that the mother that abandoned him, married someone else and had a whole new family, after his father died. Jung-hoo cares for her, meets with her, gives her money etc. He doesn’t hate or resent her, I think that shows a lot of compassion but also emotional intelligence. He has this me vs the world outlook, way of life, mentally, however you want to call it, but is in desperate need for someone to SEE him. Like acknowledge his existence, to stay, to love him. He is incredibly skilled & capable, everything you’ve seen 007 do, he does it better. Also I’ve made sure to include diverse verses so there is a way to explore pretty much anything under the sun that you could think of.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  I think he can’t really move past the whole I hate everyone & I need someone. So he goes back and forth, it is difficult to create a meaningful connection. I’ve been lucky to do that but that’s also bc I’ve written with some people here for years. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I had taken a few years break from RP, which used to be like one of my main interests, writing in general. And then I was getting into just watching Kdramas, watched HEALER, and I was instantly like I HAVE TO WRITE HIM, and never looked back really. 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   Auditory stimuli, be it music or just sounds. For example, when I write I tend to use programs or websites where you can put different sounds in the background like thunder, rain, wind, chatter etc. Watching yt clips, seeing people on my dash tbh, like people that I follow also inspire me bc they make me go I WANNA WRITE WITH ALL OF THEM.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I think I tend to have all of these feelings, sometimes I’m like, yeah, this is Jung-hoo, this is exactly what I wanted, sometimes I’m like who am I writing? But I just focus more on me enjoying writing him, than thinking if people think I write him as they think I should.]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [I have a bunch of headcanons about like the smallest of things, like the fact that I don’t think he likes wearing socks is one of them, but,  I don’t write them or post them on here. I’m not sure why, I guess I prefer to sort of just sprinkle them in the threads??? ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO [ Kinda. I also write fanfiction & I had started this original one with sort of Jung-hoo in mind but not really him. I realized I really like writing starters, I think that’s probably like an unpopular opinion or way of thinking but I really enjoy starting the thread, and I kinda sometimes think starters are like drabbles, I’m not making sense. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Depends on my mental state. Like sometimes 100% and then other times it’s like what am I even doing?? ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I enjoy how I write, if that makes sense. I’d like to think that I can switch it up now and again, keep it fresh, I def know that I’ve evolved over the course of the years I’ve been RPing ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Sure. I’m fine with that. I just think that the INTERNET does not know how to compute that, or people on the internet. It’s either, you can do no wrong or you should die a horrible death. It’s like either STAN or HATE. And it’s also somehow part of the rp community here on Tumblr. Where there’s just either fake praise or just unnecessary hate. And then there is a bit in the middle where like you can talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. But it is not the main focus by any means. If anyone wants to tell me to change something, or to do something diff, sure, let me hear you out, you might inspire me to improve. But that rarely happens. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Of course, I think a lot of people are like this. Talking about my character gives me muse for the character. Like we could be talking how he’d eat a salad and I’d be like, okay now I have to write a novella about this other thing I’m inspired about. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  That’s weird to me just bc I feel like when I read someones headcanon, this is how they, and them uniquely see the character, so I can’t really disagree with that, I can have an opinion for sure. But that’s like someone being I like this band, and you say, no you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Same with the previous one. Like I often find blogs where they are writing a character that I either love from a show, move, book whatever, or it’s a canon type character that I find really interesting, like the idea behind it, but then I read their writing and then I go, aaaah okay nooo, no NO. And it’s never personal, it’s like, we ain’t gonna mesh, which is fine. And if someone is like that with my writing, fully understandable, just don’t be a dick about it, and we’ll be cool.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  Couldn’t really give less of a shit really. RP to me is this little bubble where I am this fictional person that can do and try everything. It is in no way connected to any other aspect of actual reality or my life. The only connection is if I have to take a hiatus or smth, but like even if I write OOC things, it’s about IC stuff. I have other social medial for real life, this is just my RP bubble. So if someone is wasting their time hating a fictional character, they have bigger fish to fry. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Sure, English isn't my first language so mistakes happen. If I see someone make a mistake and the write with me, I just change it when I reply to them, but I don’t point it out bc you never know, someone people could be okay cool thanks, and someone else could really feel down on themselves, which would be bad, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I’d like to think so, especially that I’m easy to approach and talk to. I don’t take many things seriously, not just on here but like in life. So I’m always open to any idea anyone might have. I’ve been lucky with the people that I’ve been following & those that have followed me, a huge percentage is just really dope people, nice to read their writing, nice to talk to, great to write with. And I hope that it stays that way, so we can also have this as some kind of mental break from life :) 

Positivity day sap time

I have technically always been a self shipper. I remember reading books and getting crushes on the characters, imagining being able to actually meet them and them falling in love with me too, longing to be taken to their universe, creating elaborate, sprawling plots of what ifs for if I had been born already in their world. And I kept this all to myself, because I was so sure everyone would look at me weird if I let slip even a little how into this I get.

I knew that in all the world, I most certainly wasn't the only one who does this, but all you really see people talking about anything close to this is how cringy people who get too into things are, how they're basement dwellers with no social life and weird. So, I've always kept that under wraps, because I'm terrified of regection. I'd sit there, watching shows and movies, reading books, listening to podcasts, and the whole time thinking how I would fit into that world and falling in love with the stories I thought up and silently lamenting that no one else will ever know of them.

And then, I discovered that a rather popular artist I follow has a blog for self insert art, and I was intrigued. Because, people supported her, they loved the ship art she created and got excited over it. It was so wild to me, and that was when I first started to realize that maybe not everyone finds it strange.

I still went a while before making this blog. I spent months thinking about it but still wasn't sure about really doing it. I have been in... a not good place for a while now, and in the midst of it I rewatched my main f/os show for some comfort and actually that's when my feeling came back since my original watch way more intensely and when I'd say I could start calling him my main. So, it was probably a combination of my reinvigorated love for him and just all the pent up years of love and stories for all my f/os that finally prompted me to make this blog. I just wanted to see if maybe I could possibly get some attention to my stuff too and share the stories I've created, since even though they can't be canon in this universe maybe I could be not the only one to know about them.

I wasn't super active at first for a bit, posted a couple drawings and memes and reblogged some posts. Then around the start of fall/back part of summer, my anxiety and existential dread got a lot worse, and it still is really bad. I think I sort of started becoming more active to deal with that. Again, not really making a whole lot of original stuff just yet, but getting more into the community, finding more blogs, etc.

Then I found some blogs of people who shipped with characters within the same series that I do and I was fucking ecstatic! I started getting mutuals, and interacting with people, trying little by little to actually talk to people.

When people started saying nice things about my ships, even just little things every once in while, it makes me want to cry from the sheer validation that other people would actually care about these self inserts and the relationships that mean so much to me.

I adore seeing the ship content of other people, and I love supporting them. It's so nice seeing people happy and unabashedly loving their f/os, I will never get tired of it. Anytime I can make someone else happy, even a little bit, by supporting their s/is and characters and their ships fills me with joy too, because I know how meaningful it feels to be supported and validated so I always try my best to spread that feeling around.

I feel sad a lot, I feel unworthy, I feel worthless and untalented in all parts of my life including the community, but I love this place and it genuinely does make me feel better when my anxiety is not sleeping that nonsense at me. I am so glad I made this blog and have been able to see all these cool ships. I hope going forward I get to talk to people even more and become real friends with people in this community, and continue to meet even more of y'all.

I wouldn't call myself popular by any means, but every bit of support I've received means more to me than you could know.

To everyone I follow, everyone who follows me, to my mutuals who I've spoken even a little to (and certainly wish to speak more too), to the people I long to actually interact with, to all of you, thank you for giving me an outlet and a place to share my stories that mean so much to me, thank you for being you.

How to Generate RP Activity and Approach RP Partners

Whether you’re a brand new blog, you’re coming back from hiatus, or just experiencing a lull in interactions / activity, I thought I would share how I generate blog activity. 

Your dashboard. So what generates the most interactions is always what’s happening on your dash. If your dashboard is slow or always populated by the same blogs, or doesn’t inspire activity, then this is where you need to start. 

How many blogs are you following? You can check your following list from the dashboard sidebar menu. If you use the xkit extension, you are also able to view how many of these blogs are inactive (or haven’t posted in a month or more). Everyone’s preference here is different, but for me, I like to be following around 100 blogs at any given time. 

Granted, 10% of these may be old friends who are taking a break from their blogs and are not active, and another 15-20% are non-roleplay blogs that post content related to my muse (their faceclaim, their aesthetic, info related to their profession / hobbies, etc.). 

For me personally, not all of the roleplay blogs I follow are characters I would want my muse to interact with. Sometimes I follow a blog simply because I appreciate their character, their writing, or their friendship. Even though I may not be interacting in character with these blogs now, I may do so in the future, especially if one of us changes muses, and even if we never interact in character, I find it beneficial to interact out of character. You never know how you might meet a new friend or what might inspire new ideas for aus, meta posts, how you organize your blog, and other aspects of roleplay that are not muse or fandom specific. 

Of course, the majority of the blogs that I follow are active roleplay blogs that I am potentially interested in interacting with. I personally like to wait a week or two before interacting with a new follow so that I can get a feel for their content, style, and personality, just to make sure that this person would make a good fit as a partner for me, but if you’re eager to make friends and not worried about it, you can go ahead and jump in by contacting potential partners. 

Contacting a roleplayer. Before you contact a roleplayer about potentially writing together, it is VERY IMPORTANT that you take a quick minute to review their rules, as there may be very pertinent information that you need to be aware of, including if this person is PRIVATE. If a roleplayer has the word private anywhere on their blog or in their rules, it means you need to wait for them to follow you back before you interact with them. I know this can be difficult when they look like a super cool person and they write a character you really want to interact with, but the most important thing to consider in roleplay is the person behind the screen. A roleplayer who is private might have chosen this policy for a variety of reasons, but what matters is that we respect their boundaries. If a private roleplayer follows you back, or if a roleplayer is not private, then go ahead and reach out!

When contacting a potential new roleplay partner, I like my message to follow a basic formula: first, I introduce myself. Hi there, I’m Chaya. I personally consider an introduction to be a prerequisite for initiating roleplay. To me, it acknowledges the other person as a human and not just a writer. If you like, you can even let this person know what drew you to their blog. I really love your interpretation of xyz - or even just, I love your blog. 

The second part of my approach is asking if this person might be interested in writing together. However, for me personally, I don’t like to suggest writing together without at least throwing out one or two plot ideas off the top of my head. In my mind, it feels like showing up to a fancy party without bringing wine or cupcakes. I always like to bring some ideas to the table outright to let this person know I appreciate their consideration and I don’t expect them to do all of the heavy lifting. It also serves as a really excellent conversation starter! Sometimes a conversation can lull once you get past the whole great sure let’s do a thread sometime part. I also like to let the person I’m messaging know that I’m not particularly committed to any of these ideas if they’re not feeling them, and that I’m very much open to their own ideas if they have any. That way I don’t feel like I’m steamrolling anyone and hopefully this person feels comfortable engaging in some brainstorming. 

I know that contacting new roleplayers can very very difficult for some writers. There is definitely a level of vulnerability in putting yourself out there, but what you have to remember is this: roleplaying is ultimately a social hobby. By its very nature, it necessitates human interaction, and if you aren’t willing to reach out, this may be why you are experiencing a lull in activity. If we are all too afraid to reach out to one another, then we will never get to have any of those great interactions that make roleplay so much fun. I know the fear of rejection can make this hard, but just remember that the worst another roleplayer can say is no thank you, and that this decision is almost certainly not based on you as a person but maybe factors like their style of writing, or your fandom, or what kind of threads they like to write. It might even be because they’re overwhelmed with the threads they already have, or because they’re looking for something very specific. None of these things have anything to do with you, so even if a roleplayer says thanks but no thanks, it’s really not so terrible. You might be the ripest, juiciest peach on the tree, but there still might be someone who just doesn’t like the taste of peaches, and that’s okay. 

Another thing to consider when you’re contacting new partners is that it might not be the best idea to message every new blog you follow, or at least, not message them all at once. I often follow new blogs in batches and then give it a week or two to see who I really vibe with before messaging, and even then, I only message up to three potential partners at a time. Obviously, you can run your blog however you like, but I find it very overwhelming to generate too many potential plot ideas (quality ones, at least) and it can get confusing to keep up with who to respond to. Just something you may want to keep in mind. 

Inviting interactions. If you’re like me and you don’t like to message a lot of new partners right away, I like to encourage existing partners and new mutuals to engage with me indirectly with my own blog activity. 

The most important way to bring followers to your blog and put yourself out there is to make sure your blog has a promo, and that this promo is posted in the correct tags. Tumblr will only post your content if your blog has been live for 72hrs, so if you just made your account, this will have to wait at least three days. Secondly, tumblr will ONLY post your post in the FIRST FIVE tags that you use, so use them wisely. After the first five tags, any tag you use is for your own blog organization, so I always start with indie-fandom-rp first and then my self promo tag sixth. Remember, if you are finding blogs to follow by searching tags, other roleplayers are doing the same, so it’s important to make sure that you are there for them to find. 

Just as a sidenote to this, your promo does not necessarily have to have fancy graphics, if that’s not your forte. As long as your post makes it clear what your blog is for, your promo can still be effective. If you want to have fancy graphics anyway, there are resource communities out there who offer graphics services free of charge, or you can commission an artist. 

I’ll post a sentence starter meme or two, maybe a writing prompt for muses, some AUs I’d like to try, or a wishlist of specific plots and ideas that really interest me. Even if I don’t have a specific idea, I might post about an aspect of my muse’s development that I’d really like to explore more and see if anyone has any ideas. 

I also like to take this time to write headcanon or meta posts about my muse that might generate a conversation ooc or even inspire someone to approach you with an idea. A lot of the time, seeing your interpretation of your character lets other people get an idea for you and how you write your muse, and if this vibes with them, it could be the start of a beautiful partnership. 

Another helpful tool to invite interactions is filling out a plotting cheat sheet. @bandagedbandit has created a really great template for one that you can use here. Posting a plotting cheat sheet can be a great way to let people new to your blog know what’s up more quickly and easily, and may encourage potential partners to feel more confident in contacting you with their own plot ideas. Personally, I like to link to my plotting cheat sheet in my blog’s sidebar or google doc, that way it’s always handy and easily accessible. 

Lastly, if you feel comfortable doing so, you can always post one or more open starters. These are starters for a thread that are not directed at any partner in particular and are clearly marked as open for interaction with anyone. You can also tag your open starters with the same tags you use for your promo, or even different tags that you weren’t able to use for your promo due to the five tag limit. 

Hopefully you find these suggestions helpful, and are able to use them to boost your blog’s activity and meet some cool people. Feel free to send in an ask with any questions, concerns, or clarifications-- or if you have an idea to add to this list. Thanks for reading!

            hey ! my name’s link , i go by he/they pronouns , am 21+ & live in the cst timezone ! my only personality trait is being a bts , sment & girl groups enthusiast . i’m an aries sun with a pisces moon , which means i can be aggro , am always loud & obnoxious , but am a secretly sensitive softy , so plz be nice to me !!! this is my child , mikey , who’s stuck in 2006 & never grew out of his emo phase ( take that , mom ! ) . he’s also an aries , because my jjks always end up like that . hopefully , you’ll love him as much as i already do ! under the cut , you’ll find some misc . info & wanted connections . here are links to his dossier page & his pinterest board , which will hopefully give you some deeper insight . i’m excited to be here & write with you all ! like this if you’d like to plot & i’ll fly to your ims , but also feel free to add me on d*scord ( it’s easier for me as well ) : no brain only loving bts#6669 !

— jeon jungkook. he/they. demiboy. | was that michael “mikey” kwon i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a record store clerk / studying communications , but i’ve always just seen them dyeing their hair different colors with kool-aid . they live in 3c and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of getting into arguments online , an entirely black wardrobe and drinking six cups of coffee to make it through the day . 

misc . info :

his parents are both very hip artists who met & fell in love while attending art school. they’re both very modern kind of parents, which meant that mikey grew up around a lot of self-expression (& being told to try it for himself), paint everywhere & pot.

growing up, he was allowed to paint his walls & even ceiling however he pleased & it instilled a love of creativity in him. his parents still have paintings he did as a child hanging up on their walls & fridge. even now, he still draws casually, though it was always a hobby for him & not his actual passion.

his parents are extremely caring & understanding. as a teenager, they allowed him to go out & party & always made sure to get him home safely. mikey genuinely can not remember a single time they ever yelled at him even when he fucked up massively. so he tries his best to make sure they’re happy & taken care of. but they’re adamant in supporting whatever mikey wants to do.

they were both the alternative types, which meant that rock music filled their home. mikey was familiar with classic rock from a young age & the sounds of fleetwood mac & other similar bands fills him with a warmth that can only be attained from childhood nostalgia.

his first taste of love came at the age of seven. his parents always brought home new albums to listen to & his dad purchased three cheers for sweet revenge by my chemical romance. while the screaming & raging instruments could have been too much for anyone else his age, mikey embraced it fully.

it ignited an adoration for the genre as a whole & soon enough, his parents were bringing home various emo music albums to sate the always dramatic & over-reacting mikey. for christmas, he received mcr’s discography (at the time, just two albums) on vinyl, which he still has hanged proudly on his wall as an adult.

he owns every variation of every mcr album now. vinyl, cd, cassettes. he even collects the japanese versions because he likes the way they’re designed.

he dropped the name mike / michael because of mikey way & he refuses to answer to anything else.

even though it’s largely part of “cringe culture” now (which mikey refuses to participate in), he loves hot topic & goes there whenever he can. his closet is full of band tees & he has a drawer filled with those spiky belts, bracelets & pants with the suspenders from his teenage years.

he’s been dyeing his hair regularly since he was twelve. he’s had every color under the sun. this is what his hair currently looks like but he dyes the highlights with kool-aid, so the color is always changing.

he has a nostril piercing & would probably get more done if someone so much as implied that he should.

he has a mcr stan twitter account & he gets into fights with everyone he decides has a wrong opinion. he’s been suspended multiple times for being too aggressive online, but he always comes back. he also has a tumblr account but he just uses it to reblog pictures of gerard way (his bias KJHFDKJ).

he works at a record store & goes to school for communications. he hopes to either be a radio dj or podcast host. he wants to get paid to talk about how much he loves music either way. but he loves his current job because he gets to talk about music all day and recommend albums to people. also it’s helpful in perfecting his own vinyl collection.

yes, he cried the day mcr broke up & yes he bought tickets to all their reunion shows. he took the day off when the tickets went on sale & his boss was understanding, knowing how much he loves the band.

he’s extremely impulsive. if you tell him to do anything, he more than likely will. he has a lot of stupid scribbled tattoos on him for this reason, especially on his hands.

while he doesn’t mind appearing masculine & even embraces it, he doesn’t fully align with being a man. he started identifying as nonbinary in his teens, but has never felt 100% a man his whole life. he’s fine with both he or they pronouns for the most part, though he does have his preferences day to day. he introduces himself as nonbinary so it’s not a secret & everyone who interacts with him is aware.

he’s kind of a party animal. he’s that loud person who drinks too much & ends up blacked out on the floor.

he gets in trouble a lot, because he plays music very loudly at both his workplace & his apartment. but he’s of the opinion that if music is too loud for you then you’re just too old.

he’s aggressive & very arrogant. he will fight you about anything & everything. he just likes to argue & he thinks he’s right about everything.

in typical aries fashion, he loves to flirt & be flirted with. he just adores attention & seeks out affection where he can find it. he gets crushes really easily & pursues aggressively (he’s extremely charming & good at making people feel good about themselves), but he gets bored when he actually obtains the person he desires. he’s never really seriously dated, but has had over a billion crushes in his lifetime.

thought dramatic & annoying most of the time, he’s also very loyal & has a good heart. if you’re in his circle of people he likes, then he’ll do anything for you point blank. he always tells his friends that he’d die for him & he means it.

while he tries to appear confident, he has secret insecurities stemming from being the middle child. he has issues with feeling like he’s not good enough or thinks he’s unnoticed by everyone, so he acts up by being dramatic.

he drinks A LOT of coffee, so he’s pretty much always bouncing off the walls.

he’s extremely pansexual & loud about it. if you’ve known him for longer than five minutes then you’ll find out how he wishes he could smash gerard way specifically in the helena mv to smithereens.

he very casually knows how to play guitar. he’s that person who plays wonderwall at every party.

while he’s not a fan of pop music, he knows most girl group dances & can do them well.

wanted connections :

exes (any gender. it will more than likely be something casual, like a few months or less, but we can discuss the timeline! also it can be messy or friendly. extra points if there’s lingering feelings!)

hookups / fwbs (any gender. singular experiences or regular type things)

childhood plots for those who’ve lived in seattle (childhood friends, first kisses / crushes, all that good stuff)

flirtationships that don’t go anywhere

one-sided crushes (don’t mind who has the feelings!)

mutual pining but they’re both idiots & have no idea

party buddies (can be drinking &/or smoking). emo music buddies. netflix buddies. any of these can be combined.

enemies???? (if we can decide on a suitable plot. or enemies with benefits :smirk:)

someone who knows of mikey from his stan twitter but doesn’t realize it’s him & talks shit openly about the asshole who runs the account in front of him.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, someone who he flirts with in the dms & they plan to meet up after realizing they live in the same apartment building.

tinder date (it can go well or not)

frequent customers (customers he flirts with or can’t stand because they just loiter or gets into fights with because they have bad taste in music

someone who takes advantage of mikey being willing to do anything he’s dared to do. make him do all the stupid shit he shouldn’t be doing, whether it’s getting tattoos / piercings or anything dangerous or just idiotic.

you’re sick of this asshole blasting music late at night & go to yell at him for it but oops he’s actually attractive (or you actually can’t stand him, whichever GKDHFGJFKD).

i have a huge tag full of plots i’d love to do on my rp spam blog. not all of them will be fitting for mikey but just ask me & we can try to change some elements or something!

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it!