#whata life to live
Note
Can you please write exes to lovers angst with lando
Y’all know the way to my heart with these angst requests
A Second Chance (LN4)
Summary: Secrets are a hard thing to live with, they always come out in the end. When it comes to Y/n and Lando, their loved ones struggle to understand what occurred between the two when both of them refuse to discuss it. What happened that night that warranted two people so in love to separate? What triggered Lando to become so violent, so hostile? Why is there a lone engagement ring lingering in Lando’s apartment when it’s meant to rest on Y/n’s finger? What’s happened?
Warnings: lots of fights, language, literal screaming matches, lando breaking y/n’s heart while he’s drunk, this ones hella rough when it comes to angst, whata rollercoaster, HAPPY ENDING THO YALL JUST BUCKLE UP FOR THE RIDE AND TRUST ME
Note: i decided to really play with y’all here because you don’t end up knowing what caused them to breakup until the very end, so enjoy 6,000 words of subtle hints and you on the edge of your seat bc I’m evil 😚
Some things were better left unsaid. That’s the mantra Lando repeated to himself every time he felt the urge to pick up the phone and pour his heart out to the girl he let get away.
Some things are better left unsaid.
Some things are better left unsaid.
Some things are better left unsaid.
He was sick of the words, wanting to rip them out of his mind, out of his mouth every time he uttered their syllables. His thumb laid so close to her phone number, he was frightened one wrong move would make the decision for him.
All he saw, not just in that moment but every moment, was her face as he spewed off words of anger, violent insults that held no truth to them.
He wanted to apologize, yearned to hear her breathing as he said the things he had rehearsed in the mirror for God knows how long. There was blood on his hands, her blood, the blood of her being when he killed her spirit and the character he had fallen in love with. He couldn’t live with that.
Couldn’t live with the knowledge he had destroyed the beauty of her happiness, the beauty of who she had been.
Selfish, maybe, but he called her anyway. Whether the apology was for her or for him, he wasn’t sure, he just needed to know she knew that he never meant for those things to tumble from his mouth. He never meant to tear her down when he had spent the entirety of their relationship building her up.
The ringing sounded, it blaring loudly in the quiet of his room. He stared at her contact photo, he never changed it. The picture was one his friend had taken of her as she gazed upon him at the Silverstone Grand Prix, when he got his podium. She was smiling up, looking at him as if he held her entire life right in the palm of his hands.
She had loved him, put her heart in his hands, and he had thrown it back in her face like he was disgusted by it.
His mind was taken back to the moment when, after one ring, the call went straight to voicemail.
Fuck it, he thought, I’ve already called her once.
So, he tried again.
One ring, then voicemail.
Again.
One ring, then voicemail.
Again.
One ring, then voicemail.
By the end of his calling spree, he was sitting up in his bed, the sheets falling down his toned chest as he stared at the brightness emitting from his phone. His fingers flew over the keyboard as he searched up why he was only getting one ring.
The answer that popped up stopped the world around him. He threw his phone down to the side, it falling harshly onto the floor. He stormed from his bed, ripping open his door and throwing on a random hoodie strewn about his couch. His eyes glazed over as he tied his shoes and left the apartment, beginning to run. His running was in vain, however, as he was only trying to run from the thing that got him into this situation. Himself.
The phone stayed behind, lingering on the floor with its screen cracked yet still displaying what had set Lando off in the first place.
The Google search engine painfully informed him of Y/n blocking him.
—
“How have you been since the breakup?” Max said softly, looking at his best friend with gentle eyes.
Lando looked down to his lap, “I’m doing fine. Getting by.”
Max’s quietness lingered like he knew something.
“What is it?” Lando asked spitefully, sick of feeling like his loved ones were tip toeing around him.
Max sighed, “You’re not sleeping.”
“How do you know that?”
“Life360 shows me where you’ve gone in the last twenty-four hours, Lando. It also gives me notifications when you leave your house. At first, I wanted to stay out of it, but you’re doing it every night, going to random parks and staying there for hours. What are you doing?”
Lando smacked his hand on the table out of frustration, strangers sat close to them glancing over suspiciously, “So, you’re monitoring me now?”
Max scoffed, “Yeah! Your family and your friends are worried for you.”
“Well, don’t.” Lando gave him a pointed look.
Max shoved his face into his hands, “It’s not that fucking easy, Lando. Everyone thought you two were going to get married. You had a ring. Then, all of a sudden, you two ended. The people that love you are obviously going to be wondering about you when shit like that comes out of left field.”
“You don’t think I know that?” Lando began, face heating up, “You don’t think I look at the engagement ring everyday and wonder where I would be today? Maybe engaged to her like I had always wanted? You don’t think I know this shit? You don’t think I have to live with it, sleep with it, exist with it?”
It dawns on Max as he listens to Lando’s every word, “You’re going for walks in the night? To get away from thinking about it when you’re trying to sleep? Trying to distract yourself?”
Lando’s eyes look down once more, “Running. I’ve been running.”
In a rare form of physical affection, Max leans over and lays his hand over his friend’s, “What happened that night?”
Lando flinches, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
His hand is heavy on top of Lando’s as he tries again, “Lando, I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand. What the fuck happened? When are you going to be comfortable talking about it? It’s been five months.”
Something fiery triggers within Lando and Max knows it’s the reminder of how long he’s gone without her, “I know how fucking long it’s been.”
At the gridded teeth and hostile tone, Max relents. He sits back in his chair just when Lando’s gaze is caught behind him. His head turns to see what’s got Lando and he’s met with a woman that looks identical to Y/n.
He breathes out, turning back around to tilt his head at his best friend. Max opens his mouth to say something, but Lando interrupts him by the loud screech of his chair being pushed away from him.
He watches in horror and disappointment as Lando walks over to the woman and begins flirting with her. That smile, which was once reserved only for Y/n, is now exploited to get one singular taste of something like her, however fleeting.
In no time, Lando’s trading numbers with her and returning to the table. He sees the way Max looks at him, an expression that makes him hate himself more, and picks up his things, “If you’re not going to support me, sit across from me and patronize me for everything that’s happened, then I’m fucking out.”
Max laughs in disbelief, “Lando, I don’t know what the fuck happened! Maybe if I did, I could actually help you instead of this fucked up coping mechanism you’ve developed of sleeping with women that look like her.”
Lando snarls at him, stomping off and out of the establishment, texting the new number he’d gained immediately and asking when they were free to come to his apartment.
Max watches him through the window, anger at him dissipating and worry taking over once more for the boy he used to know.
The waitress comes by and drops the check off, three digits staring back at Max.
—
“I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVITE HER!” Lando screams at Charlotte, nostrils flaring as he shoots daggers into her soul.
“WHAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM? CAN’T FUCKING FACE YOU EX OF EIGHT MONTHS?!” Charlotte yells.
Lando counters, “YOU KNOW I FEEL ABOUT HER! HOW I FELT ABOUT HER! I DON’T FUCKING WANT HER IN THE CROWD OF THE NEW CAR LAUNCH!”
Charlotte rolls her eyes, “WELL, GET OVER IT! IT’S HAPPENING!”
“I’M THE DRIVER, I RUN THE SHOW! I SAY SHE GETS TAKEN OFF THE INVITE, SHE GETS TAKEN OFF THE INVITE!”
“SHE’S ALREADY BEEN INVITED, DUMBASS! WE CAN’T RETRACT THE INVITATION NOW. IT WOULD LOOK BAD.”
“I DON’T CARE! FUCK, CHARLOTTE, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Spit flies from his mouth, his volume so loud it jostles the walls.
Charlotte, being the strong woman she was and fed up with Lando’s recent behavior, fires back, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE’S ON THE AUTOMATIC INVITE LIST! YOU KNOW THIS! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!”
He lets out a loud grunt, turning around in the room like it’s closing in on him. He’s so in his mind as it suffocates him with memories of her, he steps toward the wall and almost puts his fist through it. However, right before his hand comes in contact, he hesitates.
He can feel Charlotte’s horrified eyes on him as he turns around, chest heaving from the unreleased anger. He can’t fully meet her stare, knowing it’ll break him further.
However, that doesn’t matter as she puts her hands on her hips and whispers, “Who even are you anymore?”
She slams the door on her way out and Lando can hear her lash out at his father, detailing how he needs to get his son in check if Lando wants any kind of continued future in F1. They go back and forth for a moment, Adam standing up for his son in a time where there’s no defending able to be done. His father reminds Charlotte of the relationship she’s cultivated with Lando, reminding her of how she once referred to him as her son, and she’s ready with her heartbreaking answer: he’s not the same person she once knew.
That gives Adam no room to fight back, silence overtaking the atmosphere for a moment before he’s entering the room. Lando sits on one of the many office room chairs, head hanging low as he picks at his fingernails.
Adam sits in the one closest to him, breathing slowly as he tries to gather what he wants to say.
“Lando, what happened that night?” He repeats, reminding him of the countless conversations they’ve had that started with that question and ended with Lando refusing to talk about it.
His son shakes his head, something dying inside Adam once more, “I told you. I’m not talking about it.”
A moment passes before Adam snaps, “Lando! I know you’re hurting and I’m so sorry. But, Jesus fucking Christ! You can’t go on like this forever! This isn’t healthy! She’s not coming back! She’s stopped communicating because she doesn’t want to hear from you! You’re going to need to move on sometime!”
Lando stands abruptly from his seat, his father’s words hitting him hard, “You have no fucking right to say that! You don’t know what’s going through her mind!”
Adam stands to get in his face, “No, but I do know you two were happy, she was happy, and you were in love, and then it was over! People don’t fall out of a love like that if someone didn’t fuck up royally!”
Lando moves to the door, “I don’t want to hear this anymore.”
Adam grabs his arm before he can leave, staring at him with a stone cold gaze, “You keep pushing people away, treating people like shit, and you’ll ruin your career.”
“Who said I even cared about my career anymore?”
—
As much as he hates it, Lando’s eyes immediately search for her once he and Oscar are let into the room. The new car sits under a drape, a crowd of people standing around it, and, even with all the exciting things around him, he looks for the greatest heartbreak of his life.
He wants to see how she is, see if her eyes are as sunken as his are, if her body is as thin as his. Yet, he fails to see her. He knows she’s here, having seen her acceptance of the invitation on the guest list.
He’s being pulled to the front of the room by PR members, their pushes making him stumble into Oscar’s side as he keeps his gaze locked on the sea of people in front of him.
Time goes by slowly, the ceremony moving easily with applause when Oscar and him roll back the material covering the racing car.
They’re in the midst of an interview, microphones held tightly in their hands as they converse with the reporter.
He’s still distracted, his eyes still searching throughout the party to see her, but he’s called back when Oscar nudges his shoulder, “Sorry, what?”
The reporter smiles, “You’ve just gone through a break up and it seems she’s here. Does that say you two ended on good terms?”
He cries of laughter in his head. The idea that they ended on good terms is the funniest thing he’s heard in a while.
He puts on his fake smile, though, nodding strongly like this isn’t a question that has broken his soul, “Yeah! Y/n and I still talk from time to time. She supports me and I support her.”
He feels as if Oscar is staring at him, as if the entire room is staring at him, as he lies through his teeth. Y/n and him haven’t spoken in a year, her having cut off all contact from the very beginning.
The interview continues, nonetheless, with the journalist accepting his answer without question.
Once they’re done, Lando feels sick. Sick of trying to salvage his image, sick of having to appear at these functions, sick of wanting her back and knowing she’ll never let him in again. He excuses himself quickly, mumbling about needing to use the restroom, before dashing off down an empty hallway and locking himself in a stall.
He sits on the toilet, racing suit falling over the edge of the porcelain bowl as he lays his head in his hands.
He breathes heavily, lungs not taking in enough air, and he feels as if the first tears are about to fall when the door opens and the conversation of two men floods through.
“They broke up, you know?” One of the men states as they begin looking at themselves in the mirror, Lando watching them through the cracks of his stall.
The other one nods, seemingly excited, “Yeah, I’ve never been happier. She’s so hot, we finally have a chance.”
Lando’s eyebrows furrowed together. Who are they talking about?
“I know, mate. I saw her tonight. I think she’s still here. You saw that orange dress she’s in? Hot as fuck. It really does justice to that body of hers.”
Lando grimaces at their words.
However, they continue, revealing more about their topic of conversation this time, “Yeah, one hundred percent. Y/n Y/l/n has never looked better. I saw her walk in and I was ready to fuck her instantly.”
The color drains from Lando’s face when her name slips past their lips, their previous words having an entirely different impact on him now. He sees red at their vulgar words, pulling himself from the stall and walking out with a dangerous, cold air to him.
The two men stop quickly, looking at each other in the mirror when Lando sidles up in between them. Beginning to wash his hands, he makes eye contact with both of them.
“Having a nice conversation here, boys?”
The two of them gulp, clearly nervous at the man’s presence. They say nothing, rather letting Lando continue.
“You know, we may not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean she’ll get with you two. She has standards and, after being with her for five years, I can tell you: you two aren’t it. Keep dreaming, though, yeah? That’s how I got to where I am now, making millions of dollars a year and such.”
He waltzes out, throwing out the paper towel he had grabbed in the middle of his words and nodding at them.
Suddenly, as he stands in the quiet hallway, his demeanor has shifted. He feels lighter. Consciously, he doesn’t know why, but, subconsciously, he knows it’s because he just asserted his dominance over her, his possession. Reminding the two men of how long he was with her, how long he had her, a duration of time they’ll never see, mended his pain for a minute or two.
It comes back quickly, though, when he turns the corner and runs into the infamous papaya colored dress that had laid on the floor of his bedroom many times before. He halts, so does she, and for a moment, the two of them keep their eyes trained on the other’s clothes, not wanting to look up and face something they aren’t ready to face.
Although, cruelly, that moment inevitably comes and Lando’s breath is taken from his lungs at how radiant she stands before him. His eyes trail over her face, the tape that was once holding his heart together now ripping apart at the sight of her. She seems strong, looking at him in a removed manner, as if she truly isn’t there with him at the moment.
His hand hovers over her bicep, fingers tingling as they plead with him to touch her.
“Hi, Lando.” His name falling from her lips, sounding soft and warm, reminds him of why he knew her coming to this, seeing her, would ruin whatever kind of progress he had developed in the year they’d been apart.
His mouth opens, then closes, and he struggles to get words out as his mind races with all the things he wishes to say. Knowing everything he’s tried to tell her is not meant to be said in a place as open as this, he settles for, “Hi, Y/n.”
She smiles at him, completely different from the fury in her features the last time he saw her, and mumbles out, “How have you been?”
He takes a leap, “Been better.”
She ignores it, “Listen, I need to go to the bathroom, but it was nice seeing you!”
Y/n tries to slip past him, but he’s quick to grab her arm. Looking in her eyes as if he’s trying to show her the happy memories that now are too painful to remember, he speaks lowly, “Hear me out.”
She shakes her head, “No, Lando. I’ve been done with us for a year.”
“Have you?” He challenges her, staring down at her and willing her to try again.
She rolls her eyes, looking anywhere but him, “Yes.”
“Look at me.”
When she fails to do so, he shakes her arm lightly.
“Look at me.”
And when she does, he tilts his head, leaning down to hover his lips over hers, “Tell me we’re done. Look at me and tell me you don’t love me anymore.”
“That’s not fair.” She whispers, lips brushing against his.
“Why?”
“Because of what you did.”
He looks on at her, their eyes holding the other’s as they relive the moments of that night. They both know there’s no way for him to counter, no way to fight back or fight for when she throws that in his face. What he did to her, what he said to her, has tarnished the trust she gave to him.
He pulls back, breathing in deep when she rips her arm from his grasp and flees further down the hall.
Watching her disappear behind the door of the restroom, Lando curses himself.
Curses the alcohol, curses that night, curses his words, curses the love they had, curses the memories that won’t leave him alone.
Curses the existence of their relationship entirely.
—
Lando’s never felt confusion of this level before. He stares down at Paige’s, Y/n’s best friend, contact as it calls Lando’s phone.
He hesitantly answers, putting it to his ear slowly, and whispering, “Hello?”
“Lando?” Paige sounds concerned.
Lando shakes his head, attempting to wake himself from the sleep he had just been having, “What’s going on?”
“Y/n is so fucking wasted and, I have no clue what happened between you, but she keeps asking for you. She won’t stop drinking, won’t leave the club, until you get here. I didn’t want to call you, partially because of how late it is and partially because of what’s going on between you two, but, if I’m honest, I’m glad I have an excuse. I’m worried about my best friend and it started when you two broke up.”
By the end of her words, Lando’s already out of his bed and halfway out the door. His keys jingle in his hand as he continues to converse with her, “I’m on my way to pick her up. I’ll be there soon. Just try and keep the drinks out of her hands.”
Before he can hang up, the engine of his car revving to life, Paige interjects, “Lando, one more thing. You’re going to have to let Y/n sleep at your place. She moved out of her apartment a few months ago and has been sleeping on my couch while she finds a new place. But, we have other friends here and I can’t just leave them to make sure she gets into my house.”
Lando nods, “That’s fine, but why’d she move out? She loved it there.”
Paige sighs, “Because she couldn’t stand the fact that everywhere she turned, all she saw was you.”
—
Lando pulls up to the club, its lights bright and music loud as he spots Y/n and Paige waiting on the curb. He gets out, rushing over to them and not loving the way Y/n seems to be hunched over in pain.
Paige pawns her off into Lando’s arms, Y/n melting into them and clinging to him when he holds her softly.
Paige begins to walk back toward the entrance of the club, “Thank you, Lando! You were always someone I could count on to take care of her. Have fun and please, for the love of God, fix whatever is wrong between you.”
At that, she disappears back into the colorful lights and Lando is left with his girl.
She’s mumbling quiet things into his chest, words he can’t make out as he gently lowers her into the passenger seat of his McLaren. When he’s finished buckling her seatbelt and triple checking that she’s secure in the car, he pulls back, but not before she’s grasping his hand and looking up at him with weeping eyes, “I miss you.”
Three words he’s yearned to hear for so long and yet, now, he can’t take them seriously. She’s drunk, she’s blacked out, and she very clearly doesn’t know what she’s saying.
This isn’t real.
He knows that.
But, what if it is?
—
When they stumble through his threshold, Y/n bolts to the bathroom. He smiles softly at the way she still, even in her drunken mind, knows exactly the layout of his apartment. Retching emitted from the small room and he’s running over, kneeling down beside her as she empties her stomach into the toilet. His hand rubs up and down her back as the other holds her hair back, whispering sweet and soft words of love in her ear.
“It’s okay, Y/n. I’m right here.” Knowing she’ll wake up tomorrow and be disgusted by his presence makes the moment even more tender. He knows what will be lost tomorrow, he wants to savor it now.
Her hand moves from the toilet to grasp his shirt, the material hanging from his waist below her. It hurts to feel her touch, to know she seeks comfort in him, but it hurts even more to think of rejecting her, pushing her hand away. So, he lets it rest there, lets it seep into his skin and burn the area, marking it as her own and reminding him there will never be another girl as precious to him as her.
When she’s done, dry heaving the only thing sounding as she lays against the wall behind her, he sits with his legs crossed to the side. His hands rub her thighs as she recovers, and all he can do is stare at her. Her eyes are closed yet he can picture the exact color of them. He memorizes her nose, its upturn and freckles; he memorizes the Cupid’s bow of her lips, the feeling of the plush and soft skin tattooed on his; he memorizes the moles dotted across her neck and the cleavage of her boobs in her dress; he memorizes her arms, their warmth forever ingrained in his brain after Spa 2021 and she was the only thing he needed; he memorizes her legs, and her hands, her hair, the way her eyebrows are shaped, and jawline he’s wished to kiss again.
For it will be gone tomorrow.
—
He’s the first to wake up, thankfully. In case she woke up before him, he slept on the couch, her body taking up his bed for the night. He makes coffee with trembles in his hands as he awaits the moment she wakes up.
And when she does, she storms out of his bedroom, striding into the kitchen still in his t-shirt and sweatpants, the items he dressed her in the night before.
“WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE?” She screams at him, hands flailing at her sides as her cheeks redden with anger.
“You got drunk and wouldn’t leave the club until I came and got you, so Paige called me.” He responds calmly, knowing how uncomfortable she must be.
She scoffs, “AND I JUST COINCIDENTALLY HAD TO SLEEP HERE?!”
He shakes his head, “No, Y/n. Paige told me you had to sleep here because she still had to make sure the other girls got home safe. She didn’t have the time to get you back to her place herself.”
She quietens down, looking at him with a distant stare, “Did we fuck?”
He reels back, eyes bulging, “NO! YOU THINK I’D DO THAT WHEN YOU WERE WASTED AND IN THE MIDST OF WHAT WE’RE GOING THROUGH?”
“WE AREN’T GOING THROUGH ANYTHING, LANDO! WE ARE DONE!” She fires back.
“YEAH? THEN, WHY DO WE KEEP SEEING EACH OTHER?”
“I DON’T KNOW! IT’S NOT LIKE I’M ASKING FOR IT!”
Lando steps closer to her, taking a deep breath, “Last night, you told me you missed me. Is that true?”
“No.”
It hangs in the air, full of lies and deception.
“Yes, you do.”
She groans, “NO, I FUCKING DON’T! STOP TRYING TO HOLD ON TO SOMETHING I DON’T WANT ANYMORE!”
“WE WERE IN LOVE, Y/N! I KNOW YOU STILL LOVE ME IN THE WAY I DO!”
Her hands shoved at his chest, tears beginning to leak from her eyes, “THAT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU SAID TO ME!”
Unwillingly, Lando is taken back to the night that ruined it all. Refreshing his memory horrifically.
A YEAR EARLIER
Y/n chuckled as she threw Lando onto the couch, his drunken body landing in an awkward position.
“I’ll be right back, Lan. I’m just going to get you some water.”
He nodded, groaning at the swirling in his stomach. He heard her clank around in the kitchen, getting up and wandering off toward the sound.
When he reached her, he was very quickly overcome with desire and lust for his girlfriend. He stumbled over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her back to him. He began kissing her neck, spit and slobber coating the skin in an uncomfortable way.
Y/n dodged him, “Lan, baby, I love you, but you’re really wasted right now.”
He hummed, “It’s fine, Y/n.”
He tried to kiss her again, but she slid out from his hold, “No, Lando. Plus, I’m not in the mood.”
He reached out for her, but she moved too quickly for his drunken mind. He groaned in frustration, “Y/n!”
“Lando!” She gave right back, shaking her head at his antics as she continued to fill up his water.
When she gave him nothing as he stared at her expectantly, he said the first thing that came to his foggy mind, “Fine, I didn’t want to fuck you anyway.”
She giggled, not fully hearing what he was saying, “Sorry, what?”
“I said, I didn’t want to fuck you anyway. I’ll just go into my Instagram messages and find someone better, it’s whatever, don’t worry about it.”
He saw the way she slowly turned her head to him, “Lando, what are you say-”
He interrupted her, “Who do you think I should look out for? Someone with a bigger ass than yours? Or maybe with bigger boobs? How about skinnier? Or perhaps with a prettier face?”
She just stood and stared at him, the glass in her hands slowly slipping from her grip, “What the fuck?”
He laughed at her, “Come on, Y/n!” He pulled out his phone, waving it in her face, “Who should I look out for as a replacement for the girlfriend who won’t fucking do shit for me?”
Her hip popped out, his demeanor change blindsiding her, “Why are you saying these things?”
He huffed as he slurred, “Because you’re a fucking shit girlfriend! I’ve put up with it for years, your inadequacy to fulfill me! I’m fucking done. I’m over not being satisfied in everything we do. You aren’t attractive to me anymore, you aren’t funny anymore to me, you just don’t do it for me anymore. Someone, I know, can surely be better than you.”
His words were malicious and hot on his tongue as if he had been waiting to say them. The glass, like her heart, slipped from her hands and shattered at her feet. Shards littered the floor, cutting her bare feet, as Lando began laughing at her, “Oh, perfect! And, now, you can’t fucking hold a glass! Fucking pathetic.”
He waltzed out of the room, as if everything was fine and retreated to his room, slamming the door shut.
There, as she stood in the middle of a wet pool of glass, she cried.
Cried for the pain in her feet; cried for the man she loved; cried for the death of her confidence; and cried for the love that had just been ruined.
PRESENT TIME
Lando remembers waking up that next morning without her beside him, and being utterly confused. That was until he read the text message in which she reminded him of the things he said to her, informing him they were over, she wouldn’t look at his face ever again, and she was already on a plane away from Monaco, to not chase her.
He had never been given the chance to explain to her just how drunk he had been that night, how his words weren’t really his.
“I DIDN’T MEAN WHAT I SAID TO YOU!” He yelled in her face, trying desperately to get through to her.
“DRUNK WORDS ARE SOBER THOUGHTS, HUH?” She argued, hands pushing against his arms.
“ARE ROOFIED WORDS SOBER THOUGHTS?”
She stopped, taking a step back and staring at him. She was quiet, looking up at him with a newfound curiosity, “What?”
“I was drugged that night, Y/n.” He responded, finally allowing for the truth to come out.
Her eyes softened, looking up at him with the love he knew was within her. She walked back to him, closer this time, and wrapped her arms gently around his neck, “Are you okay?”
Testing boundaries, he laid his hands on her waist and when she didn’t protest, he leaned into her fully.
“When I woke up that morning, I had a really hard time reading your text. I got through it, but I couldn’t shake the fact that I genuinely felt like I couldn’t see. My vision was fucked. I got up, I wanted to go to the kitchen and drink some water, but my legs gave out under me and I fell to the floor. I struggled to walk, my head ached in a way I never knew was possible, and I puked all over the floor of my bedroom. I, obviously, knew something was seriously wrong, so I called Jon. He came and helped me into his car. I must’ve been pretty removed because he tells me, to this day, that I was mumbling things about you leaving me, shit I don’t remember ever saying. But, anyways, he drove me to the hospital and they did a shit ton of tests. The drug test, that’s how we found out I was drugged with Rohypnol, a roofie. They helped get it out of my system, but I was pretty fucked up for the next few days. And, then, when I truly came to about a week or so later, I realized the gravity of what happened between us, but, obviously, by that point, it was too late.”
His explanation left Y/n feeling slightly guilty. She had been with him that night, it was her job to make sure he was safe as she promised him she would be his designated driver, the sober one.
“Do you know who did it?” She asked to which he shook his head.
“No, I’m not sure. I don’t remember much from that night.”
He saw it in her eyes, “Y/n, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. There’s no way you could’ve known.”
Her eyes watered, “But, I should’ve known what you were saying to me wasn’t you, or even drunk you. I shouldn’t have shut you out. I should’ve given you time to explain.”
He nodded his head to each side, “Maybe, but what I said to you was horrific. Of course, you left me.”
She separated herself from him, walking into the living room as she cried. He sat down next to her on the couch, her tears soaking the shirt she wore as she struggled to gain her breath.
He pulled her into him once more, “Y/n, it’s okay. Your actions are justified.”
She shook her head, “No, it’s not that. I mean, it sort of is, but it’s mostly the fact that I spent this past year thinking you never really loved me. What you said to me that night, I’ve never forgotten it and I just spent so much time berating myself for thinking, for five years, you loved me back. I degraded myself over something that was completely manipulated.”
He laid his head on hers as he nodded softly, “I’m so sorry. If it’s worth anything, I truly did love you all five years. I still love you. I never stopped loving you.”
She pulled back, hands on his chest as she stared at him, “I still love you even if those words still haunt me.”
“Don’t let them, please. The fact that they came out of my mouth is enough. Don’t let them have any kind of value. You were and are the love of my life. There’s no one like you, Y/n. No one who could be better suited for me. You are more than enough for me. You’ve satisfied me in every part of our relationship. What I said that night, it couldn’t be farther than the truth. I could never fall out of love with you ever. There is no one I want to take up the other part of my bed than you.”
She wiped her tears, “What about those girls you were seen with this past year?”
He shook his head, “Didn’t hold a candle to you. Not my finest moment, baby. I’m sorry for it.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize for trying to move on, I just want to make sure you’re in this with me.”
He threw his head back, “Of course, I am. I’ll always be all in if you are too.”
She lightly smiled at him, returning to her spot against his chest as he laid them back against the cushions.
They laid there with each other, in silence, until the afternoon. Something that was once broken, now whole. Something that was once destined to end, now beginning again. Something that was once messy and complicated, now clear. Something that was once mistrusted, now fully capable of any challenge.
Maybe Lando could put that engagement ring to use now.
#mclaren#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagines#mclaren formula 1#lando norris edit#lando norris fanfiction#lando norris fic#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris#lando norris x you
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i like that the only kids with manners are in derry are the ones that moved there
#15#ben and mike...#thats whata happens when youre raised in a town since birth where everyones brainwashed by an evil fucking clown#something i also like to think about is how horribly that wouldve affected the losers life outside of derry#imagine youre raised in this almost truman-show esque town. everyone under a sort of spell that makes them act *cartoonishly* evil#like i know its like they didnt learn from their traauama so they repeated their lives! like with bev and her husband or eddie and his wife#or richie resorting to unfunny jokes for cheaap reactions and having people write for him bc 0 self worth#but aalso like can you imagine how many problems they mustve had in their early twenties??? early THIRTIES?!#we see them in their 40s and im sure they wouldve had to mature in THAT amount of time so they were definetly worse when they were yoiunger#but all of them are literalaly like emotional failures#rewr'it'ten
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* ˚ ✦Capricorn observation* ˚ ✦
• Like any earth sign they like a timeless look or something fitting to their environment (messy environment messy look, clean environment clean look, picking up what I’m putting down?)
It also kind applies to when they’re looking for love interests.
• Very “old school” probably has a collection of some kind, maybe along the lines of retro memorabilia or collections of antiques (that they only think looks good) or they’re place looks bare because they could never spend money on “that pointless crap”
(I’ve almost met a lot of Capricorn placements who collects comic books.)
• They could never spend large amounts of money unless it’s apart of their “whole master plan” aka they will do anything to get ahead in their job or career even if it means hurting your feelings or taking your position!
That’s earths sign kinda of competitiveness.
• I personally feel like thrifting was invented by a Capricorn or the Russian mail order bride service, both ends mean business for one common thing, not love…. But money.
In some cases it means love.
• Capricorn in love is like a strong tree trunk if you appreciate it enough and have enough patience.
Can you stay all 4 seasons?
• Can you handle a Capricorn’s depression or seasonal depression because they rather get the bag than celebrate holidays including if they live far away from family.
•Free time for Capricorn means learning/ planning how to get more money when they DO have free time (which is never, they’re always busy) or tinkering around trying to make something (crafty) or fixing something that needed to be fixed 6 months ago.
They procrastinate a bit here and there.
• Just like a cancer they like they’re space and personal space but not carrying they’re home on they’re back like cancer, that’s what they lack and leads them to depression, dating a cancer can help them gain that nostalgia back for them but won’t solve there depression! (Don’t use water signs as emotional body bags.
• They do love the used, daddy issues, mommy issues people, because earlier on their life or childhood they had to grow up fast and never really shown love or proper love towards them. So they do the same.
Whata cycle Capricorn!
• They mentally think like a teenager but have a body like a 80 year old. Having back pains in highschool? And problems with they’re knees?
• Do you have crooked teeth? Deep voice? Sometimes raspy? Small face features but a long nasal cavity? Did you ever have those gold/silver caps in your teeth while growing up?
• The males are into older women, and women are into younger guys.
• Shy when it comes to love but very confident when it comes to money.
• Once when you have everything why do you feel like you gotta keep searching?
•How does it feel to chase something you don’t even know what your chasing?
#astrology#astro community#astrology aspects#astro observations#astro placements#astro notes#cancer astrology#gemini#pisces#sagittarius sun#capricorn#capricorn placements#capricorn astrology#capricorn aesthetic#capricorn ascendant#capricorn facts#capricorn horoscope: star sign dates#capricorn memes#capricorn mercury#capricorn mars#capricorn moon#capricorn moodboard#capricorn rising#capricorn sun#capricorn sign#capricorn stellium#capricorn season#capricorn things#capricorn tarot#capricorn venus
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So I wanted to request a head canon for bruce, dick, damien,conner and clark for where the readers ex tries to win them back!.
Bold of you to assume that they would let a stupid ex to get ypu back to their side!!!. You are theirs. only theirs.
WHAT WOULD HAPPEND IF YOUR EX WANTS YOU BACK?
Okay.
First with the Batifamily:
With Bruce:
He is an adult man, has 4 children and several protégés. You are already part of his life, of his soul, you are part of the life of his children and of his home. How is that excuse of being human considered viable for-
Ok he sees the point, he might be too much of a burden for someone who had childless partners and a vigilante life. He understands… But he doesn't necessarily like that.
Unfortunately for him, and for the benefit of that rat, he still maintains his no-kill code. So no, he won't dirty his hands. But he will show with great gestures of love that he can be more than your ex.
Best father, best provider, best friend, best counselor, best partner, best companion. He masters several things on his own with total perfection. Why not show him that he is still so popular among the elite and society of Gotham for a reason?
It doesn't prevent you from going out with him, but he definitely has you well watched. He has your ex very controlled. He knows where they lives, what they does, what they eats, what toilet paper they uses. And any details that bother him will be used to show you why they are…well, your ex.
He manipulates everything to make them look bad. So Bruce cand shine as the perfect partner.
He Is he a person with little patience? he will make you meet him at times when he explodes from his frustration.
He can't stand children? He makes sure that Damian and his children bother him so you can see how mean he is to his children. Children who will be innocent in your eyes.
Was he irresponsible? You will only be able to hear from him when he gets in trouble for his immaturity.
Bruce has fun in these kinds of situations. If your ex-partner was someone who had a bit more brains he would worry. But is not the case. So he sees the situation as a playful game in order to refine the methods of investigation and manipulation of it.
Whata about Dick? :
Well, he is still a young adult.
Attractive, funny, flirtatious and sporty. Not forgetting that he is quite intelligent. Would he feel threatened?
Yes.
Well, I never mentioned that Dick had 100% confidence in his qualities. After all, he was raised by Bruce, who is not the best expression of emotion and tends to belittle his efforts. It is to be thanked that Alfred was influenced in his upbringing and that he himself was somewhat outgoing. He would otherwise be another emotional freak.
Compared to Bruce, he is in the same position as your ex. They are not parents, they are independent adults and they love you. The only thing that is against him is the issue of the justices in tights.
What to do to overcome it?
Deleting him is off the list… he curse B for that. But that doesn't stop him from winning. That never.
Gaslighting. But not for you... for your ex.
He gives you a lot of freedom, he not treat you different at all, he knows that mistrust comes from him and his qualities, not from your behavior.
After all, if you didn't love him you would have gone back to your ex; and that was not the case. It was your ex who came for you when he knew you were in a relationship.
Demonstrating so much confidence makes the other doubt about their qualitys. And if we add that joker side of his, he is the perfect bomb to keep the other at bay.
Did your ex buy you flowers? What a beautiful detail! even the bouquet has the flowers he likes. Isn't he a retail guest?
Did your ex find you at the supermarket? Cool! So maybe they can help you carry those two-little bag purchases that look pretty heavy, while he carries the 5-extra large bags of groceries to the car you two share. Yes, in one trip. But hey!, their help is well welcomed
Does your ex talk about his career advancement and how he might have a better future? Well, that's good, he's already finished a doctorate in criminology, to complement his career as a detective, but his 2-month crash course on savings is SUPER important, you know?
He includes them in all the activies that they crush on, but at the same time humiliates him. He is insecure, but he knows that he has positive qualities and it would be a waste not to take advantage of them.
With our beloved miniature demon, Damian:
He is young, he is just a teenager and he is experiencing love. You, since you are his age, are in the same boat of inexperience and mistakes.
Mistakes that, to his lack of patience, wait for you outside the class and insist that they can still try.
Jealousy wins him over. I will not deny it.
He is still a growing boy, and sadly he acknowledges that he is not the best catch considering that he has an unwelcoming facade. he has serious problems expressing his emotions, he quickly loses his temper, self-centered on many occasions and too formal for casual things.
But, he's also not going to let himself get trampled by a pushy weakling.
So that's when threats work. And one or another lie.
The looks that he throws at your ex are so aggressive that your ex thinks that he is going to kill him at any moment. But, he manages to make others take a dim view of your ex as well.
He manages to generate very realistic and convenient lies to make it look like your ex doesn't stop chasing you, that he looks like a worried boyfriend. What better way to get the frustration out of him without reprimands than by bringing others to his side?
He shares all his worries with his classmates, to look like a tough guy but he cares about his partner; and in this way he makes others not see his threats with bad eyes.
Now with the Sup's:
With Clark:
He uses a strategic approach quite similar to the one Dick uses. And well, being older than Dick and going through a lot with him, as a favorite honorary uncle, we can say that Dick learned that emotional manipulation move from him.
Clark is a southern boy with manners. God help Clark if he ever breaks the proper manners that Martha instilled in him. His biological parents would turn over in their graves if they saw him being bratty or rude to other people after his adoptive parents were so insistent about it.
He may be immune to almost everything, but he's still afraid of his mother's murderous glare if he forgets to properly greet someone.
Therefore, approaching and including the intruder in your relationship is the best way to be able to defeat him.
He has your friends close, but your enemies closer.
His excessive kindness is what terrifies your ex. That and some other comment that can be friendly at first glance, but that can also be deadly if you think badly of it.
"Do you want to stay with us while your house is dewormed? No problem! I KNOW how annoying pests can be if they're not removed properly, right?"
"Do you have problems with your car? If you want I can check it, no strings attached! A small fault or misalignment can cause terrible accidents. And we don't want that, right?"
To you, Clark is nothing more than a complete gentleman who does his best to make your ex feel comfortable with you despite the CLEAR LACK of respect he has for him and your relationship with Clark.
How can Clark be threatening and aggressive if he has only been more than nice to your ex?
That he always threatens him? Lies! he just gives your ex OBVIOUS friendly recommendations. Recommendations I wouldn't have to give if ex was more responsible. What responsible adult doesn't know that?
Clark is just a shy, kind guy who wants everyone to have a more comfortable day. Why would he purposely damage one of the car's tires if the tires he fixed for another friend are perfect?
Your ex is a real paranoid liar. How did you not notice it before?
Clark makes your ex go completely insane and ends up lashing out at him. He thus achieves that you permanently remove your ex from his lives.
Our baby Conner:
Hmm… Conner. I will be honest. Despite his few years of life and the lack of real experience in relationships, Conner is the one who uses the fewest tactics to eliminate the ex of your life.
And, funnily enough, it's because of Lex's influence on him.
Lex can be a terrible villain and a person of completely dubious morals. Bad father? nope. Lex is characterized by always wanting the best and being the best. That includes parenting and nurturing.
Lex, under surveillance of course, made sure that Conner had the best basic social tools despite his… bumpy start in life. And even more so if he insisted on being a hero. Public and interpersonal relations had to be learned in measure. And he did the best he could to make Conner clear on that.
Conner knows, KNOWS, that his jump in age has made him really clumsy, but at the same time they have made him more sensitive about the people around him and know who he wants to interact with or not; who he can put his trust in and who he can't.
Lex made sure that was the first thing he learned.
So? Connor has every confidence that you're not going to leave him. It's that simple.
Mind you, he cares immensely that your ex is the crazy maniac who will hurt you if he doesn't take no for an answer. So he constantly keeps an eye on him. He manages to get you away from any attempt by this so that they are alone and manages to destroy any type of display that is clearly a form of harassment.
He watches over you to protect you and he doesn't hesitate to be open with you about his concerns. He is the type of Yandere who is sincere, but since he has never committed any kind of dangerous act so that you are afraid or doubt him (because he always makes logical and argumentative steps), you have no problem being more cautious in the presence of your ex. .
After that? he brings out the entire arsenal of teachings that Lex instilled in him.
He is completely agile, sophisticated and dedicated to achieving a clear separation gap. All without having to harm someone physically or emotionally.
If despite all that, the ex insists more aggressively … he will use one or another broken bone to achieve his mission. Not that you're complaining about it either, Conner had told you about his concerns with that crazy ex of yours. He only did it to defend you; With him you will never be unprotected.
#yandere dc#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne#yandere conner kent#yandere clark kent#yandere superman#yandere nightwing#yandere robin#yandere batman#yandere superboy#yandere#yandere bruce wayne x reader#yandere x reader
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Thank you for replying!! I hope this isn't too much trouble <33. May I please get a matchup for stranger things? I'm a straight female, she/her and I'm 20.
Physical description - I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips and slight dark circles under my eyes. I wear glasses and I have broad shoulders. I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats and I love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down! I think my aesthetic is dark academia with a little bit of 90s mixed in?
Hobbies/likes - I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I also love true crime very much. I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything, I'm very interested in psychology, history, mythology and folklore, and fashion! I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I adore all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching psychological thrillers and romcoms.
Personality description - It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I sometimes struggle with the hardwork and conviction needed to get there though, and I'm deathly afraid of failure and disappointing the people I love. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I also daydream a lot and I can get lost in my own world for hours. I can be quite dramatic and stubborn and I tend to be withdrawn and distant at times. I get frustrated easily and I'm quietly competitive. My love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation.
Thank you very much!! I hope you have a wonderful day 🌟
hey!! thanks for requesting! i match you with…
JONATHAN BYERS
OMG WHATA MATCH
so you jonathan have been best friends for your whole lives
it all started when you were kids and met at school!
jonathan was the only one who sat with you while the other kids played outside (bc both of u are lil introverts)
it took you awhile to talk to him, most of the time y’all just sat in silence and enjoyed each others presence
and when you two did start talking you never stopped 😋
your childhood was spent going to the byers house, listening to music and having fun with both jonathan and will
you never realized the reason for the lingering glances, the interlocked pinkies, and the long hugs was because you had a crush on him!
then one day when you guys were in high school, he kissed you! *swoon*
jonathan admitted he’d had a crush on you since the day you met ☺️
and now that you’ve shifted from best friends to lovers (who’re still besties) life is even better!!
sometimes you sneak into his house at night and spend hours just talking about everything and nothing (but mostly mythology)
he loves learning with you!! he never really had much interest in anything besides photography until you came around :)
plus you got him all involved in your creative hobbies!!
and he will sit through some room coms with you 🙄 (just kidding he acts like he hates them but he is so obsessed)
jonathan LOVES the way you dress
he could stare at you for hours 🤧
(i also don’t know if u want any of the scary supernatural things that happen in the show included so i’ll keep it brief 😭)
once everything went to shit in hawkins, jonathan became a different person
his old self was still in there, but he was now tougher, wildly responsible, and determined!
with all the craziness in town, you never doubted that he would protect you
that doesn’t mean you won’t kill some super crazy upside down beast for ur lil boyf :D
considering you’re so stubborn, jonathan and the other kids have had to talk you down from making a dramatic and not well thought out move 💀
anyways, to jonathan, you could never fail, you’re the smartest person he’s ever known and everything you touch is perfect
and he loves being in love with you too 🥰
—
mood board:
songs for your matchup!
hope you enjoyed :P
#🌷matchups#stranger things headcanons#stranger things x reader#stranger things#stranger things jonathan#stranger things matchup#spotify#jonathan byers#jonathan stranger things#jonathan x reader
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Fairy(with care)! So, I was on dash, and y'know how they recommend users to you based on who you follow, interact with, and all that? Well, I decided to click on one and...
I was reading their rules (as we all should 💃🏻) because they're a nsfw writing blog! But then, the illusion was shattered... In their rules it says that they don't do DC 😭 I was like: oh, okay! Have a nice day y'all! I dunno what it is, but like... When I read nsfw, it also, 99.9% of the time, my brain's like: "it HAS to be dc! I don't want it otherwise!" And I'm like, that one meme? Where someone/something has such a hold on someone and the person/thing's all "it's time for *insert at least kinda messed up thing here*" and the person's is like "yes honey" with that deprived-of-life face/stance/i dunno whata call it. Y'know what I mean?
I guess.. one way I can think to word it is that.. DC is the simultaneously the BEST and worst thing that could've happened in my reading career, because now I'm.. I can't go back to normie nsfw, but so many people are afraid/don't want to write such a thing, and I'm just so happy that I found your page 🥺 not only is your writing beautiful, so is your art, and so are you! Seriously! You're so kind, but you don't take anyone's shit; you stand your ground— and I genuinely admire that!
I aspire to have those qualities some day. Without struggling to stand up for others, or myself. Irl, I mean. I can at least somewhat do so online, but Irl... I'm afraid of conflict—
Now that, that's been said! I hope that you're doing amazingly, living your best life, drinking proper amounts of water, being the lovable gremlin you are 🥺
no liSTEN I FEEL THAT I FEEL and resonate so harddddd, i can read the juiciest bestest yummiest smut but if its not got at least a little flavour, a little hint of dc, i'll be like :/ "goddamn if only this had some spICE" haHAHAHGFUGCygiys but then again, my brain already defaults to that kind of fuckery in my daydreams so i guess it's okay
anD AAAAAA pLS I LOVE YOUUUUUuuu whY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO CUTE and swEET TO ME coME HERE lEMME KISS YOUR FACE!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡ you can do it if you want to, bby! believe me, i wasn't always like this either. i was a super meek shy little bookworm growing up. then trauma hit me in the face like a truck and here we are, and not like i recommend, but you can learn to stand your ground and say it how you mean it and i think it's a great quality to have
#all thE LOVE ALL THE KISSES#i hope you're doing well tooooooo!!!#i feel like i've been away from tumblr for so long even tho#that's not really true#bc i've been posting#but i've just been doing so much other shit on the side#anYHOW im getting off topic i hoPE YOURE LIVING WELL bbY#and thRIVING <3333#i dont wanna spam dash so im gonna space out answering your asks a little#pls understand and iLYYY#honey mail
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surely the problem is me. surely not everyone i've ever formed more than a surface level relationship with has made me feel too uncomfortable to talk about what i wanna talk about. because no one ever seems to find it hard to talk to me about stuff going on with them, and usually they don't comment on how much i respond and encourage them, so clearly the cultural norm is sharing and responding positively to sharing. so why doesn't it feel like people respond positively to my sharing. whata wrong with my topics. :(
like i remember a couple years before i broke up with my last best friend it occurred to me that our horrible dynamics were all my fault. she was always showing initiative and making the conversation about her and i never did the same, so of course we never talked about me, that's not her fault. i gotta put myself forward! so i started doing that and she would just shut me down left and right every time. so then eventually i asked "how come we can only ever talk about you" and she dead-ass told me "well because you're not as interesting." 💀 when we were mostly having repetitive 4 hour conversations about her boyfriends.
the majority of people in my life, for my whole life, cannot politely feign interest to save their souls. i don't understand. they can't even echo my own behaviour back at me. if i bring up something they don't care about they let me know quick. either with silence followed by a hard topic change or in some cases by literally telling me not to bring that up again because they don't think they can stand anymore. how do i find these people. are 95% of people like this? do i live in selfish antisocial asshole country. what is happening.
#i think what's really happening is i'm in love with someone & i'm realising i can actually talk to her about stuff & it's doing my head in#because it's making me realise how incredibly rare that is for me personally. not for other people! it doesn't seem!#but for me#and i think for her too#and it's just kind of scary#the change but also. not knowing what's causing an issue and just magically hoping it doesn't affect the nice new thing.#i'm so. fucking damaged. from over a decade spent surrounded by people who are absolutely enchanted by me#but only specifically for my ability to analyse their life problems & give them my mental print-out of all possible options moving forward#ranked by how likely i think they are to take them#i was working as an ai chat bot yeeeaarrs before they became popular#adam talks too much
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instagram
She will have her life like a living hell but she isn't in portugal with this economy, with the politival environement yall created, with Ignorant bitches that never oppened a book to know whata romany person is imagine if thet wasn't holocaust victims, and of course she will be rich so she doesn't need to be here struggling for 30 years to even keep a normal job for then to have CELEBS!!!! MILLLIONARIES!!! come to still fuck you up
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Rising to the Edge of Existence
It is finally time, preparations are made and all doubts are shoved in their pockets.
To think I had not finished Eureka by then... Nemi definitely agreed with this
Then above, Meteion's appearance in the ship sent chills up her spine, but she sincerely said "Found you. Please, won't you let us land and talk?" It was her continued threat of blissful death that made Thancred ambush, and disappear with his last message to survive.
The utter loss of hope devastated Nemi. It almsot reminded Nemi of the refugees of Lost Hope, but even they with less power endured until better times happened. But, could a ghost of grief be convinced?
Explaining how to save a child from ego death
I first didn't understand this at first, but I guess this is saying "now you get to see me be the one at risk and wait for it, just like you made me wait" huh?? That is, some debt.
I know it's probably because of spacing, but that Y'sthola went to confront the immamentizing with Urianger as support is an interesting beat... She would never be defeated but she wanted to aid in holding up the existence of this world... But what if one more sacrifice had been needed later? Did she see the aether to be sufficient?
Ea, disturbing fellas. That they were so sure that Y'sthola would get depressed than say "well, that isn't near my present so why should I overworry about it" like a normal person is so fucking funny.
Oh you could only think of that after the destruction eh? it's almost as if there was a strong corroding bias to your logic and you didn't really analyze and think of all factors because you only prioritized stupid destruction.
It's hilarious that he remembers this, but that even that story perdured and he remembered so much details... It's sweet, specially with him having sympathy for Omega too from just reading their story.
WHATA RE YOU DOING HERE BABY
"Why does nature need a reason? It just is, and it's this free rein what makes it permeate, last create and blossom. I guess that's hard to understand if you are eternal..."
"You stupid dork, you've expended far too much of yourself to not be remembered. You in theory have a statue already in fact! Way before me!"
I think G'raha would laugh at this morbid joke and they would hug each other, with Nemi reaffirming he deserves to be here... But he doesn't need that anymore.
And with his dissapearance and a crystal path unfurled, Nemi could only crumble to her knees and control her breathing. This was too much like Mt Gulg, but there was no rage or sadness: only hurt in fear of Y'sthola's reassurances being wrong, and everyone being truly lost right when they resoluted to finally rest. And G'raha, oh dear G'raha had finally settled to live after a century of resignation. Would Meteion flick in disgust at this feeling.
Hopefully something, everyone's wills would reach her from the fact they sre the air, the breath and the life of anyone who knows them. For what else are people but parts of life?
#enw#story#/#//#///#ultima thule#graha#ysthola#urianger#estinien#dialogue lines#Not gonna lie#i broke down at Close in the Distance and texted my best friend an emotional text thanking them for being in my life#even writing this i got a few tears that scene was comboed too perfectly#not to mention graha's feelings being too relatable haha#though now i am better too. in many ways i am and can keep improving
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Its so infuriating how in middle school i had a group of friends who all seemed to be just as depressed as me. We all cut (tho I did more than they did) and we all talked about wanting to die. Turns out it was a phase for them, and I should be happy for them but now, 15 years later, we're 28, and they're all happy and living life and can work and haven't self harmed since we were teens, and I'm a fucking mess. I can't work, I can't take care of my kid, I can't take care of myself, I'm cutting more than I ever did even when I was a teen, and I just don't understand what the point is anymore. I dont have people I can talk to without getting sent to the fucking hospital, which I've been 7 times so it obviously isn't helping. They say it gets better but its only gotten worse and seriously whata the point of being alive when you can't even live. For fucks sake I live with my elderly parents! They each most likely have less than 30 years left to live, and I'm wasting the time they have left by living off them bc I'm too fucked up to take care of myself. And then what happens when they pass? I'll be 50 and still worthless? What kind of life is this? Why should I even want to try when trying has never worked? I'm so fucking sick of being the only one who can't do a single fucking thing.
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It sinks in the deeps of my chest
That fight to get that light,
That thing that gives me meaning
The perseverance of my soul, can't reach infinity
But so far looks like it
i can't explain how, but it seems like it
I have to find a meaning,
what a challenge my mere existence comes with,
It feels like an overly complicated Waltz
Betwen my will to live and to give up
Oh, whata cynical and cliché way to see it
But unfortunally i'm not a rarety,
i'm such an uncomplex individual
Such a basic earthling
That sometimes i just want to say
Fuck it!!
I dont care anymore!
I frikin give up in existence
i just want to be left alone
I dont desire anything
I wont fight against the unbalanced trials of life
I just dont want more trauma
I dont persuade any trouble
I just want peace and be left alone
And then a fucking unexpected will posses me
I fucking hate it,
It makes me give up those toughts
It makes me stop suffering the human condition
like an old soul craving for help i behave when i see it,
And that fucker makes me feel like there's a way
Like if everything will be okay
Its like a fucking Deus ex Machina
Makes my problems look like mere bushes on my path to greatness
Sincerely, fuck that thing
-wrote at 3 am, in a doubtfull state of mind
#poetry#3 am ramblings#current mood#rantling#it doesn't quite rhyme but its smth#how can i center this hecking text?
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So blessed to be able to work at a place where you witness death often. whata temporary world this is, we always see death and think of the other. We never think that it’s going to be our future, or that we are already one step closer to death that we were yesterday.
We live in this world trying to impress the other not realizing people don’t remember you, people forget you and move on with their life, not even your own mother. Our ultimate return is towards a God who is ever living. this life is so short Ya Rabb being death to us when you are most pleased with us
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not to be ridiculous or anything but god i want to be an influencer so bad
#the bliss#and i would filter my comments and let the praise roll in....#whata life to live#i want it so bad im stuck in the desire stage of life#random stuff from imani
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gonna be honest with you lads i dont give 2 shits about ten rn ji hansol is debuting TOMORROW
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#hello its that time of night again where the influences are present but im not feeling any need to speak about him at the moment#but i guess i could say ive been thinking about death a little more than usual#not like im scared#i have opinions that fall in line with why i dont have a fear of death#but maybe it has to do something with my youth?#i can picture unconscious in my head and ive come to terms with it pretty naturally thankfully#eventually consciousness will cease but will it ever restart again unbeknownst to us? and we will live again on other planets?#that sounds like reincarnation#which i also believe is made up#but what decides that we should be conscious in the first place? will it be black#but not at the same time forever?#is conscious recycled? i dont think it is. i think once we are done we will cease#that our life or conscience is unique to our body#mayhaps the big bang is a natural phenomenon that happens within the endless void of space#because why would space have an end?#and the big bang creates all the building blocks for life and it all naturally forms from there.#and in that space#that the big bang fills#that's a suitable habitat for life#also wtf i have 21 followers? whata milestone!#feelings
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So I've read Pride and Prejudice this last few days,
and it's a *delightful* book, and I'm so surprised coz usually I despise classics (Im lookin at u Zola you son of a bitch and you too Forster it's too damn long and I'm bored) and Austen is just so nice to read and it's funny and gasp-inducer and now I want to talk in classic English but I unfortunately cannot hold the hope of the idea of practicing such a speaking manner for it is to make me far too jumpy and irritated, without giving proper rest for my nerves.
And I kinda want to have what they had coz the scene of, at netherfield like, with the letters and miss bingley and the argument, well basically actually every encounter where they try to fuck the other up i-the FLAVOUR LMAOO the enemies to lovers was so fucken strong I'm -god I wanna write essais on this IF ONLY MY PROFESSORS WOULD LET ME DO IT FOR MY CREDITS,I SH-, I'm ready for a man to try me I'll fuck him up then we'll fight and resolve it with the most graceful shit and then, we'll settle in his nicey castle bro.
(it hurts to read such masterpiece and then go back to writing of our time. Like what you're reading rn. It hurts, doesn't it? )
Anyways fellas
So I looked for the tag on Tumblr to laugh at Darcy naturally, BUT there aren't much posts on the BOOK rather on the MOVIEs (2005)
So Ive watched it
Well
It's much shorter obv but I'd take the same cast and make them do a movie of fourteen hours long to cover the book from start to finish they re so good
In the book the romance is much explained (very well so don't get me wrong it's very good, with references and hints and grace it's beautiful very so very good sometimes I lost it and straight up ran my garden up and down a few times) rather in the movie it's more felt
I think a mix of both would atteint perfection absolutely but damn.
(I mean I know in movies you can SHOW so it's easier to make audience FEEL, but it's no excuse miss Austen, because I have read Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, and let me tell you good madam, I have felt things I never knew then and now how to explain and it made me cry and blush and so much more).
((I would be so down to talk about the book (and movie maybe) for hours on end, it's graceful and the writing must have taken so damn long given the actually phrasing and grammar and choice of words I cannot. It has ugh i. it's so. I DONT HAVE WORDS. I have so many favourite passages jesus. Tho the ones where we don't have otp shit are obv much more boring but yaknow, gotta make the characters live and grow imaright. I want to have something delicate like that in life and to like. Feel it. Actually live it must be . Wow. I cannot express in words. Yes))
Speaking of the book again. I sat there like. Damn. Whenever there were a Mr Darcy mentionned I was JDHEH YES MISTA DAURCY I love this emo introvert bastard so much hugh and ELIZABETH WHATA WOMAN good gracious
If anyone wants to watch it here is the link from where I just did, and I strongly encourage you to do so, but not as much as I encourage you to read the fuckin book you whores:
https://fsharetv.co/movie/pride-&-prejudice-episode-1-tt0414387
#pride and prejudice#p&p 2005#p&p#jane austen#elizabeth bennet#mr darcy#fitzwilliam darcy#btw what a damn name#pride and prejudice book
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