#what if I wrote a whole essay
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With riverdale detractors it’s always “I’m weird I’m a weirdo” this and “the epic highs and lows of high school football” that ok but have you considered that riverdale is a complex depiction of generational trauma and a reflection of the false promise of the American dream
Like Betty Cooper literally represents the social decay of suburban communities and the question of what responsibility we bear to atone for our parents sins and Archie Andrews is the exploitation of the working class and the predatory nature of military recruitment and Jughead Jones is the cycle of poverty and corruption of the criminal justice system and Veronica Lodge is the myth of ethically accumulated wealth and the dichotomy between familial and moral responsibility and Cheryl Blossom is religious hypocrisy and the morally dubious roots of old money and Kevin Keller is the marginalization of queer people in small traditional towns and how that interacts with white privilege and I could talk about this show and the rest of the characters for hours
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I like them just a normal amount… Just a normal amount…
#help me they have taken over my brain#my thoughts be like no maths or responsabilities only lawlu#i wrote a whole one shot that ill never publish of these two#when i should have been writing an essay to get my fricking international certificate what the h-#maybe my psych should ajust my adhd meds#its just#them<3#lawlu#law x luffy#luffy x law#lulaw
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LDPDL | What can the damned really say to the damned
#play tipsy by chloe x halle#feeling the wave i been there girl 🙂↔️#vampterview#louis is so cute smiling ...im trying not to worry not about the horrors 🙂 ( i wrote a whole essay in the tags then deleted bc i was#theorizing and I promised myself I wouldn't do that too much😭😭😭 esp not on this blog imma keep it in my notes)#all i can say is we briefly go high and then we go low low low#amc interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#ldpdl#ldpdl.txt#what can the damned really say to the damned?#the titular vampire#interview with the vampire
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as true as the jokes about “everyone wants to rewrite ninjago” are i feel like smthn people forget when complaining about the inconsistencies of the show is that…. it wasn’t planned? it’s not like most other animated shows lately - it didn’t start with a deeply fleshed out world or a meticulously designed pitch bible with grandiose plans for a long-term story or character arcs. the ninja don’t originally get their powers from heredity because they weren’t hereditary powers yet. the magic system doesn’t make sense bc they literally just made it up as they went! they go back and forth on stuff like whether non-elementals can learn spinjitzu bc it’s a collaborative piece of media made by people with vastly different levels of control over the story, the animation, the sets, etc. that varied over the course of the series. it’s totally understandable and exciting to see so many people reworking the early stuff with the lore and logic later seasons introduced but i personally feel that… if you’re doing that. you need to understand why the show is like that instead of writing it off as being bad and shitty. it was working with what it had. it’s only what it is now because of that awkward troubleshooting phase, not in spite of it
#ninjago#text✨#you’re 100% allowed to criticize the show but i keep seeing people complain about the inconsistencies about like. their parents giving them#their powers especially. like yeah cool that wasn’t a thing yet? they have different origins than the non-core elementals#because in the real world that idea hadn’t even crossed their minds yet! the original story was a more traditional fantasy narrative of#normal people rising to the occasion and *gaining* powers through their own feats. the fact that they changed it later doesn’t mean#it was necessarily bad to begin with or that it’s something that should be mocked#idk just. there’s a lot of hostility in some circles about this stuff and it makes me kinda sad. enjoy the complexity of production and how#series adapt over time. it’s part of why the show is so interesting to me#that essay i wrote had a whole bit juxtaposing the attitudes about technology in rebooted and prime empire and how they reflect greater#cultural trends between 2013 and 2021. it’s SUPER interesting and yet a lot of people only talk about it to make fun of how ‘bad’ it was :(#this isnt to say i don’t enjoy some of the retcons. the changes to their meetings with wu in s8 are genuinely really interesting! i love the#changes to cole’s backstory. i think his mom makes him in the early seasons even better! i’m just saying.. be respectful? nobody *tries* to#make a bad show. ages and ages of time and dedication were put into what ends up on your screens. it’s all human love and creation.#as goofy as it is#okay sry got all anthropology there but hm. been thinking about this for a while. apologies for being the local annoying early seasons fan
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"The Boy With The Thorn in His Side"(x) - The Smiths × 2023 Strollonso moments + pundits' reactions
#baby's first web weave please be kind#frankly i could make a giant masterpost on my opinions on which Smiths songs fit which drivers/ships#i like their music a very healthy amount and I don't spend countless hours daydreaming to it...no....#but this particular song has been haunting me bcs i think it fits them super well!!#with their relationship dynamics and then the way everyone doubts their relationship#though its been hilarious watching the f1tv commentators kind of resign themselves to 'ah well ig this is what AMR/Fernando is like now'#went from being confused and shocked at their on track comradery to just accepting it for what it is#now theyre like 'ah yes lance dutifully lets fernando pass' compared to the previous ouright disbelief and denial#yeah thats right...theyre in love...what are you gonna do about it...#i think one day itd be fun to make a vid comp of all the times the commentators were ?????? at strollonso's lovey doveyness it is fun TO ME#it was really funny to look through shitty articles for negative comments#but the funniest part is that istg all of the articles just quote this one singular man who is hellbent on being a hater#i am in your walls peter windsor.#i think its silly when they bring in 'f1 experts' for their opinions ona drivers motivations and mindset#they act like such armchair psychologists like bruh your degree is probably engineering or journalism calm down!!#hehehe anyways happy with this!! i wrote it out on paper like a whole ass essay draft to brainstorm what to put#and then i scrolled thru the draft while listening to the song and im just EEEEEEE IT FITSSSSSSS#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#lance stroll#fernando alonso#fa14#ls18#1418#1814#strollonso#alonstroll#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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The weird thing about the... erm... tense place Ani holds in the history of Starkid and the fandom is that Ani positivity has now sort of become this... beacon of joy for me personally? Like don't get me wrong I'm so happy whenever people say they love Twisted or Hatchetfield or AVPM or one of the more popular shows, but nothing sparks Starkid fandom joy quite like people talking about what they love about Ani.
#one of the people I sat next to at Nerdy Prudes said her favorite musical was Ani and I lit up like a damn Christmas tree lol#anyways I love Ani!#I hope time and distance has helped Nick reach a peace with it because there are people out there to whom its so important#Like I practically wrote a whole essay about why it's so vital to me lol#and what an ALBUM#ani a parody#starkid
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so... ORIGINALLY i was thinking about perv!lifeguard!swim teacher!beomgyu cause of that one thing w soobin a while back, but then i decided I want to write that so you get:
(my mind actually went blank here so i looked at txt wet hair pics for inspo) (and then used my life as inspo too) (so if you don't mind...) (YES IM MANIFESTING THIS IRL W POOL BOY (yes ik his real name sjbdj) BUT WTV 🙏)
perv!yeonjun who goes to the same pool you do, on the same regular basis as you, and when you tell your friends how cute you think he is, you think it's just a coincidence 🤭 little do you know he's practically obsessed with you and the way you move through the water so effortlessly, curves and rolls and dimpled thighs on full display <3 and when he found you go to the pool on a similar schedule as him, well, he wouldn't pass that up for anything... brushing past you in the pool just to get a chance to feel your skin against his, imagine his surprise when he finds out he has a personal connection to you... friend's friend's sister, and best of all, you're both headed to a party together the next week... 🤭
OH MY GOD YEAH,,, perv!jjun x chubby!reader 🔛🔝
yeonjun remembers the very first moment that he saw you, the way your curves spilled out the sides of your swimsuit, your ass and tits barely hidden by the thin fabric — god, you're an image to behold, and he sure as hell wants a taste...little does he know, you have similar thoughts about him, how his strong arms would feel around you, how his hard chest would feel pressed against your back as he takes you from behind....
he's pleasantly surprised to learn that you're not a complete stranger that he'll never see again when he sees you at a party the next weekend, short denim shorts and crop top leaving little to the imagination,, and when you strip down to your bikini right in front of him to get into the house's pool?? fuck, he feels himself getting hard. how innocent you seem, unknowing just how much power you hold over him — but you're not that innocent, not really. you've been catching him eyeing you all night, even your friends have confirmed your suspicions, and perhaps you're feeling a little bold,, you go up to him as he stands alone, just observing the party, bikini clinging to your wet skin, and introduce yourself
it doesn't take long for the two of you to move somewhere more..private, especially after he sat you in his lap as you got to know each other better, his half-hard cock pressing against your sensitive pussy and you grinding back into him, ever a tease,,, he pushes you into vacant bathroom inside the house, bending you over the counter as he shoves his shorts and boxers down and your bikini bottoms to the side, exposing your cute lil cunt, all wet and ready for him...with little prep, he bottoms out rolls and wastes no time in pounding into you, reveling in your loud cries that he's sure everyone outside can hear,,holds you by your hair to keep you from burying your face in your arms, loving how ruined you look in the mirror for him, your body jiggling with every harsh roll of his hips,, and don't think he isn't going to tell you how pretty you look, how well you take his cock, slapping your ass just to watch it quake against his hand,, pulls out to cum onto the pretty rolls of your back, painting your skin with white ropes of cum — and before you can even think, he's on his knees behind you, nosing your entrance and breathing in your delicious scent before his tongue is ravaging your pussy til you cry <3333
...yeah, he's gonna have a lot of fun with you this summer 😵💫
#i am so feral#what the fuck#are we seeing how much i wrote#i could write a whole essay on this#*heavy breathing*#txt smut#yeonjun smut#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#yeonjun hard hours#yeonjun hard thoughts#ada ⭐️#moots!#banggyu0308 asks#🧨 — hard hours#agust.nsfw#💌 — jjun
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Y’all. I don’t think Kaeya was actually left as a spy. I don’t.
It makes less and less sense the more lore we learn. I mean. Kaeya clearly seems to think he was left as a spy, but. I also think Kaeya was something like 8-12 years old, and traumatized, and therefore not exactly in the best place to understand Dad’s fucking dramatic little speech before Dad straight up abandoned him in a strange land.
I think he’s the last hope because he’s alive.
He’s so fucking important just because he’s himself— the abyss twin, the order, Dain, no one knows he exists.
Khaenri’ah fell. It has no need of spies. It just needs Kaeya to live.
#kaeya#genshin impact#listen i wrote a whole ass essay and then deleted it because im incoherent when i get going#but the POINT IS. Kaeya left as a spy makes no sense. and imma stand by that until hoyoverse gives me better info lmao#which!! makes the diluc kaeya rift UNNECESSARILY MORE TRAGIC#because it was based on faulty information#because KAeya’s entire SENSE OF SELF is faulty information#anyway instead of listening to me yell go watch Ashikai on YT because she’s better at Words#my son! the best fuck you to celestial is to LIVE! go forth and have khaenriahn babies!#is what his dad shoulda Fucking said
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I genuinely can't believe that people read the whole Beastars manga and still think that Riz & Pina's friendship was unnecessary and came out of nowhere when the whole Murder Resolution Arc points in that direction:
Because Riz & Tem's relationship is meant to be a representation of everything wrong in Beastars. Their society fears conflict, so they try to avoid it, BUT they do it wrong.
When the other boys of the drama club leave the school, Legoshi notices that carnivores and herbivores coexist and live together in peace. Later on, when they end up in the BAM, Bill tells him that they are happy BECAUSE of the BAM, because they can have a place where they eat meat.
Basically, what Bill is saying is that carnivores and herbivores can live together and be in peace, as long as carnivores still have a space for themselves to show their real instincts. It is the same idea their whole society has: carnivores want to eat meat, so even if it is wrong, as long as they do it in a hidden place away from herbivores, the peace outside the BAM will remain.
Later, Juno comes up to a similar conclusion. Yes, the infamous "What's wrong with segregation?" For some reason, she's been criticized a lot for that lol, even though she's just saying what everyone else thinks is the right thing.
And, even if she's wrong, her reasoning does make sense (from a logical point of view). She understands that predation cases reinforce herbivores' bad views about carnivores, and in consequence, it makes carnivores' lives harder. So, she sees the same solution Bill and society see: as long as each has their space, and as both sides hide the worst parts of themselves while being kind on the outside, they can maintain peace.
However, that doesn't work, and Tem's death is the perfect example of this.
Riz believes that other animals like him just because they think of him as a "cute, nice bear". But the thing is, Riz doesn't want to be liked just because of his virtues, he wants to be liked completely as he is, to be accepted despite not being perfect. That's why, when he tells Tem about the pills, he feels happy: he has just admitted that he can be a lot more intimidating, and Tem offers to spend more time with him regardless. Riz believes that, since Tem already seemed to be fine with that information, then he would accept him and love him even if he saw him as he is naturally— bigger and stronger.
Now, of course, the execution goes terribly wrong, BUT, Riz's reasoning is actually right. The thing that can solve all their problems and make them all happy is to accept the other completely, with their flaws and all, and not just ignore that which they might not like.
In fact, that's exactly what Els does with Bill: she calls him out on ALL his mistakes, but she admits that, despite his flaws, he's a good guy at heart. She's not ignoring his wrongs, instead, she acknowledges them, and accepts him as a friend regardless.
THAT is what Riz wanted. For someone to see him as flawed as he could possibly be, as dangerous as he could possibly get, and still love him anyway. Beastars is not the typical "oh, you're not so bad after all!", nor the "I guess we are not so different, huh?" NO. That's not how true acceptance works. Beastars is the exact opposite: it is "Yes, we are different, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to understand each other". It's a "Yes, you are flawed, terribly so, but that doesn't mean you're undeserving of love".
Riz was happy when Tem pointed out he was scary and when he called him a monster, because it was the first time that someone, FINALLY, saw him as something more than a cute bear. Someone, finally, saw him as something else than perfect, and that is good! Because no one is perfect, because we are all flawed. The point of the story is to accept that imperfection is good, and is part of the beauty of life.
Riz, in his fantasy, believed that Tem had seen him as monstrous as he possibly could be and had still seen him as a friend worthy of love. Unfortunately, what truly happened was that Tem, who up till then had never actually seen carnivores as a real threat, suddenly had to face what everyone else told him: that carnivores hide their true, dangerous self.
The big tragedy about their story is that none of them are wrong. Tem did exactly what society taught him to: be nice and friendly to carnivores, and they'll be nice to you. He just saw Riz as another classmate, another boy just like he was, not even aware of their differences.
But that's the problem with the whole Beastars' world: you don't truly accept someone until you know everything about them, and that includes the negative things. Ignoring stuff you don't like solves nothing. As Riz realized, the way to shorten the distance between carnivores and herbivores is to show yourself as you are, with all your virtues and flaws, and hope for others to accept you as such. You can't hide what you're afraid to show others because you don't wanna be rejected, because it will eat you from inside, and that's what ends up causing carnivores to lose it: the stress from trying to be what others want you to.
And that's exactly why Riz's headaches and side effects went away when talking to Tem: the pills are just a narrative device that works to show how, the more "likable" carnivores try to be around others, the more it hurts them. It's not a placebo effect, but it is only an example of how things get better when we just talk and listen to one another.
Seriously, if you paid attention to the whole story, you'd see that Pina was literally the only one who could give him the relationship with a herbivore that Riz longed so much for:
Pina, who knew that he ate Tem. Pina, whom he threatened more than once, Pina, whom he literally hurt just to get Legoshi mad. That sheep, who saw the worst of him, accepts him anyways, deems him deserving of forgiveness, and befriends him. Pina is what Riz always wanted: someone who could see him as a complete monster and love him regardless.
Herbivores' and carnivores' relationships are about taking that risk, accepting that things may go wrong, but trying to be better together anyway. Yes, Riz does deserve to be in juvenile because he made a mistake, BUT he also deserves kindness, and someone willing to help him, and Pina is the one animal that can do that for him. Just like Riz & Tem's relationship represent the mistakes most make, Riz & Pina's represents the way to do things better.
#yes I just wrote a whole mini essay on why my ship is the best so what#no but seriously#the beauty about this story is that unlike others#Beastars is about accepting that we will never be perfect and that's fine#Beastars has never been about justifying mistakes or wrongs#it is about understanding where they come from and trying to do better#and yet the only thing people understood about it was furry homoeroticism#riz beastars#beastars#pina beastars#rizna#riz x pina
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i feel like i see a lot of people praising nora’s “be strong and hit stuff” moment in volume 8 and i’m like??? no!!!!! that’s not supposed to be something we’re cheering on!! she is reducing herself to having one personality trait and was left with scars b/c of it. yeah, she's badass but that wasn't the takeaway you were supposed to have from that scene?? she is so much more than someone who can "hit stuff." she was operating under the assumption that that's all she is, and that was quite literally self-destructive for her. that's the entire reason she's being set up to have an arc outside of her relationship with ren; so she can find out more about herself
#rwby#nora valkyrie#i would defend her until the end of times. it's what she deserves#(also this is why i think she should've fallen instead of jaune in the v8 finale)#friend of mine wrote a whole essay about it and sent it to me and im like. damn. yeah.#ANYWAYS I DIGRESS#erros doesnt know how to shut up
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and sparrow's son loves the world so much and loves everyone around him and how can sparrow tell him that the world is cruel? how can he tell him that love will be punished and that cruelty is the only way to survive? normal's love scares him, he loves his son so much but that love scares him. he would do and has done anything for his son but he knows that it has led to his own ruin. and he loves his son but too much love has only ever harmed him and maybe he can take a model from his own dad and multitask.
maybe he can love his son but he hates him too, hates that normal can love and hates that normal can be loved and hates that normal can be so oblivious to the cruelty around him in a way that he himself lost when the world ended. he wants his son to have everything but loathes that fact that normal'll never try. that he just accepts life as it is. the way his dad did, when sparrow saluted henry and went along with the world's end and turned a blind eye to his wife's infidelity.
he sees himself in normal, maybe. maybe he hates that. because he lost himself, that day he lost his father's care and his mother's respect, and he can't bear to see himself lost again. normal needs to be cruel because otherwise he will be crushed and sparrow can't do that again. can't let himself be crushed again.
#dndads#dndads spoilers#i guess?#i'm sorry this is basically an extension of another rant i did on discord. so some points may not make complete sense but#i am so-- [wait i can't say normal fuck] regular. about the oaks#can you tell i think about them? can you tell?? did the art not convince you???#sorry if this is incoherent i am supposed to be writing an essay due in an hour but instead i wrote this.#hashtag no beta (not even myself) we die like hermie#this mainly goes off of the most recent episode and when sparrow told normal he wasn't proud. that whole interaction#yet again the point turns incomprehensible halfway though but we stay silly#also “hate” really isn't the right word for what i meant?#like the strength of the word is#but the general sentiment is just left of hate.#idk man#can't stop thinking about them#asdfdhg edit because i just. wrote the wrong name for one of the sentences. oops
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Obligatory disclaimer: I am not that familiar with VtM 20th anniversary edition mechanics or the lore so like take some of this with a grain of salt (or several).
TDLR: Nara exploits Neil and his abilities by taking away his ability to consent by getting him high during their time in Baghdad.
There is the obvious moral quandary of “one guy getting high is worth saving the world,” which may be true. That is not what I am here to discuss. I am much more interested in looking at Neil and Nara’s dynamic during this time and what it says about them.
It is obvious that Neil cares for Nara; he loves her. It’s stated that he would trust her with his life, and he calls her beloved nearly every chance he gets. I do think Nara does care for Neil in some ways; I just don’t think her feelings outweigh his usefulness to her. She has many reasons to keep Neil close to her, and her care for him is just one.
Time is running out for Nara and the Assamites; the Herald is rising, and she knows this. She also knows Neil is capable of having visions. These two facts culminate in her using Neil to get what she wants regardless of his own thoughts or feelings. In addition, I would argue that Nara is familiar with Neil on kalif, that she would know how it affects and impairs him given their relationship and proximity to one another, particularly earlier in Neil’s life. I don’t think it’s a stretch to believe she would know any potential dependencies or addictions Neil would have to the substance.
I posit that kalif does not affect all Kindred the same, and that it has different potencies (smoking vs. ingesting kalif tainted blood) based on how Jubair and Neil both react to smoking in Neil’s solo episode. However, I do recognize that Neil has been on a steady diet of kalif (and who knows what else) for a few weeks at the time of his meeting with Jubair, and it is safe to assume he is not sober when he accepts the joint from Nara as he mentions having trouble focusing earlier in the episode.
Over the course of their conversation, we see Jubair take “a heavy hit” (PoN 1.5-Neil Foster 11:39) off of Neil’s joint, but he does not seem to have any immediate effects. He remains cognizant and able to carry on the conversation with Neil, and he is quick to respond to the attack. Whereas Neil is unable to follow the conversation and repeatedly looks to Nara for guidance since he is unable to make his own determination despite only having accepted the joint moments before Jubair is introduced.
I also posit that kalif has addictive qualities about it. Whether this is true or not, I honestly don’t know, but there is evidence in PoN indicative that it may be addictive. When Nara offers Neil the joint, the comment is made, “If she gives it to me, I take it. It’s hard to say no” (PoN 1.5-Neil Foster 8:10). Later on, in episode 25, the coterie is hit with a kalif bomb, and Neil is described as an addict (PoN s2ep25 16:15). Though, this could have been a way to explain Neil’s mechanical failure.
(As a note, I haven’t been able to find much online about kalif and whether or not it is addictive. The source I have read, provided by @peppedstep, compared it to weed and described it as a strong hallucinogen that is used for ritualistic magical purposes (Rites of Blood, pg,72).)
Whether or not kalif is addictive, Nara knowingly and willingly gave Neil a substance that impairs his cognitive function and lowers his defenses to serve her own ends, and did so to “a dangerous degree” (17:40). I would also argue she would be familiar with the impact kalif and the visions may have on his mental health (panic attacks, dissociation, anxiety, etc.), and she chooses to proceed with offering the drug to him anyway without heed for his wellbeing. In this situation, Neil is incapable of giving informed consent (regarding the conversation, regarding the additional kalif, regarding his next attempt at a vision on her behalf) because he is already dangerously high or because he is addicted, or, realistically, both.
Nara also preys on Neil’s people-pleasing tendencies and self-esteem issue, intentional or not, by commenting that his visions (and therefore, him) have not been as helpful or useful as she hoped spurring him to try for another vision and ingest more kalif. However, she is supposed to know Neil well, and that would include his inclination to people-please. He loves her deeply and wants to help her; he would not tell her no in this situation, and I believe she knows this.
I talked at length here about how I view Neil’s memory loss, which I won’t rehash, but it is worth noting much of his time with Nara during this stretch is quite hazy or he flat out doesn’t remember. The only other person who can vouch for most of this time is Nara, and she has more than enough reason to deceive, omit, or keep the truth from Neil. He has no way to tell if Nara is further exploiting or manipulating him beyond using him for his visions. If she is willing to take his ability to consent away in one circumstance, I would argue there is not much keeping her from taking it away in any other. It’s clear she does not take his needs or wellbeing into consideration with her choices.
This episode is the only interaction we see between Nara and Neil, excluding Neil’s visions. If these interactions are indicative of the baseline of their relationship, how much does she really care about Neil if she is willing to sacrifice his mental health, overall wellbeing, and ability to consent if she benefits from taking those things away? Is this same dynamic present in their intimacy? If Neil is constantly relying on her judgment because he is high and/or unable to remember, when does he have the opportunity to make his own decisions about what happens to him? What will happen when enabling his addiction is no longer beneficial for her?
In conclusion, I think Nara is using Neil for his abilities and is exploiting him by taking away his ability to consent to what is done to him. Given this is the only canon interaction we have between the two, I wonder about the dynamic in their relationship as a whole and if it is a healthy one for Neil. It also makes me wonder in what other ways she has exploited Neil since she seems to have little regard for his needs or wellbeing.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#path of night podcast#pon meta#guys my draft document of this was THREE THOUSAND WORDS#honestly this felt wayyyy more together the first night i wrote it#but the point is nara has some fucky standards when it comes to consent and it bothers me to no end and was originally why i disliked her#like how can you claim to love care for someone and drug them repeatedly???#remember those five lines of fanfiction i posted? this is the whole essay behind it lmao#how far does this extend into their relationship? what all has neil “consented” to under duress or while he was unable to say no?#has their relationship always been like this? what is the foundation that nara used to make these decisions#and think it was okay when the time came?#i also cut out an entire section of conjecture about neils sire why he was embraced and how naras connected to it all#and why she and neil originally got together#someone please stop me#my last post was also almost 1k and this one is over what is wrong with me???#am i making some wild assumptions here yes but who is going to stop me#sorry for any typos lol
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man i love this sequence so much—and tbh their dynamic in general which i feel like we don't talk about enough
on paper they seem like such opposites—and they kind of are—with tanaka being a mood maker and morale stabilizer for the team, he's loud and boisterous and never holds back what he's feeling ("dial down my feelings?? what does that even mean??"), while tsukki barely speaks on the court, openly admits to disliking loud and excitable people, and seems to calculatedly hide his emotions away. you would think they wouldn't like each other and wouldn't work well together, but i think every interaction we see between them is a positive one
we see them kinda partner up to roast other teams or their own teammates, but also tanaka is one of the few senpai that tsukki seems comfortable openly making fun of directly. but then tanaka doesn't even ever seem mad by tsukki's taunts—occasionally he'll even pass judgement on how successful tsukki was with his comebacks. and tanaka will just throw a jab back easily, which tsukki doesn't really seem bothered by either—tanaka never gets under tsukki's skin the way kageyama does, for example
and then we get a great little sequence like this one that's deliberately pointing out their differences and then using them to emphasize something more, and it's just so effective??
what tanaka goes through in the first set of the inarizaki match of feeling like he's not doing enough and having it shoved in his face that he'll never be the best, is like a speedrun version of what tsukki has been going through since he was in middle school when he found out his brother was lying about being the ace. there are these little subtle callbacks too—with the dichotomy of being lame vs cool (yamaguchi calling tsukki lame for not trying and tsukki thinking yamaguchi is cool for saying so), and furudate even uses the same visual metaphor of a never-ending staircase
it took tsukki years to realize he might be looking at things in a destructive way, and then months more after that until he actually saw the merit of trying—and then even here we can see that he doesn't find any of this easy. and tanaka basically does all of that in thirty minutes or so.
and while tsukki seems perturbed by this, he isn't mad at all. you can feel the respect tsukki is veiling behind his words in the first panel of the page when he calls him "ridiculously mentally tough." it's "frightening" to him because it's something that doesn't come naturally to him personally, when it obviously does for tanaka
of course it's important to note that the situations are completely different in terms of the catalyst for those feelings, tanaka didn't have some world-shattering event he's been struggling with since he was a pre-teen (that we know of). he just had an off day. but what i like is that the emphasis here isn't really about the circumstances, it's about their attitudes, how they each react to feeling down about themselves
and i just love the way furudate put this page in here. we just had this awesome sequence of tanaka scoring a well earned set point by doing a move he's been practicing for months after he spent all match feeling inadequate—sounds a lot like tsukishima winning set 2 vs shiratorizawa with a stuff block that was preceded by months of extra practices from him, but the reader (rightfully) isn't thinking about tsukki at all. until furudate gives us this conversation and we're reminded (not specifically or directly of tsukki's moment but) that this feeling is something other players, other people go through too. like, furudate didn't have to put this page in here, the chapter and tanaka's moment would have been just as epic without it, but i feel like it just adds this extra little emotional grounding to it
it just, it feels so human. getting down, being hard on yourself, feeling or even knowing you'll never be the best, everyone can relate—it's a storyline we've seen in haikyuu before but furudate always manages to make it feel not only fresh but satisfying because of how they present it to us with a new lens every time. tanaka and tsukki are so opposing in their character and actions that it makes their moments feel different and new, so it's just as cathartic for the reader every time, even though the underlying message is the same
whether it's hard or not, it's always cooler to try
#..i wrote an essay again... i always think i have one (1) thought and it turns out a thought is worth 1k words#fun fact ive been collecting screenshots of tsukki and tanakas interactions this whole reread to eventually do *shrug* something with lol#tanaka#tsukki#hq#hq meta#what more do you need#2021 reread#x#long post#if only i could write my fic at these speeds lmao#ugh and this post touches on a ton of themes im trying to integrate into current fic too and its just been. not working lol
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[more under the cut!]
Monkey’s Paw pages 101-106 ( START HERE || ao3 || previous || next )
AU after episode 62. The Omega Dads try a more desperate gambit, but careful what you wish for. Our dads find alternate versions of themselves in a strange dreamscape. Do you trust yourself?
hey
THAT’S RIGHT IT’S BEEN AN EVIL HENRY AU THIS WHOLE TIME
anyway so this brings us to what has become the end of part 1??? this got so out of hand. MIGHT be a 3 part scenario here, but this is almost certainly the longest, or at least densest. the proverbial crap hits the proverbial fan from here on out and action tends to take up way more page space. as I figure THAT new pacing scenario out, among other things, Monkey’s Paw will be taking a break. Until probably November. Why November? well in November I’ll have finished my last teacher certification test. until then, I need to force myself to put some things to the side in order to not burn the candle quite so quickly. I don’t want any of my future-paying work or currently-paying side-hustle work to suffer, and thus also for this to suffer. There’s quite a bit of logistics for part 2 that need to be planned well in advance of it showing up on a page and that takes Time.
I didn’t even expect for this to go this far when I started. from the jump I’ve been working on the ethos of I’m Making This For Me, and while that’s still true I’m so incredibly grateful for all the response this comic has gotten!! I’m truly blown away by all the support and avid readers and commenters, you make my heart grow so so so big <3 Making this has been super fun as a fan but also an incredible confidence- and skill-builder for making That Original Comic That I’ll Get To Eventually Don’t Worry About It.
Between now and November, be on the lookout for a “chapter 2 cover art”, where I’ll give a progress update on part 2 and also (hopefully!) a link to where you can download a pdf copy of part 1! No promises, but that pdf version may have some redrawn panels or re-arranged pages, because any artist who’s ever told you they nailed every thing they’ve made on the first go is a liar. No changes to the plot, just in presentation.
Anyway! Thank you all again, so much, for reading! (and I don’t wanna draw any undue attention to anyone who doesn’t want it but to the person who spotted the red flags on Hen like 50 pages ago?? I am delicately holding your face and kissing you on the forehead you know who you are )
#dndads#monkeys paw#kineticallyart#i wrote a whole essay up there what am i supposed to say down here#uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#im so tempted to tell you the pages im unhappy with but i gotta not do that for The Esteem and The Illusion so uuuuhhhh#the last page is the one that i literally rubbed my hands together like a gremlin before sketching#yes the sword missed Henrys heart because Ron shoved him just far enough for it to miss#oh! I also want to share the drawings that sparked this au and the original thought I had that sparked those drawings#its evolved quite a bit since then#i want to open up for just q and a asks for the comic#at a specific point if not just#right now#feel free to send me questions!#now that the full premise is out there I'd love to TALK#ive been wokring on this for liek a FULL YEAR at this point wtheck#s1 was not over when I started this#what on earth happened here#I WILL STILL POST DNDADS STUFF#if anything i'll probably be making more s2 art now#i have a bout 6 million larks in my brain#see you guys later!#WAIT ANOTHER THING#anyone who can decrypt my alphabet for druidic gets a free monkeys paw drawing#drops this and goes imediatly to bed
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//who are THESE fresh squids?? (made here)
okay these guys might not get a mention on this blog for a while- if ever- so i'm gonna talk about them now bc i've been rotating them in my mind for a while
these are captain's siblings! the ones they left behind when they were 14 to run away to inkopolis. captain certainly isn't proud of leaving them behind at ALL, in fact the one thing they wish they'd done differently is taking them with them, even if it would've been damn near impossible to take care of 2 younger siblings all on their own away from home when they were already struggling to take care of themself. they have no idea how their siblings fared with their neglectful ass father after they left, but pierce (right) was only a year or 2 younger than them, so they hoped he'd be able to leave soon too- taking harper (left) with him
so yeah harper (left) i think is probably around 16 or 17 now, having been 7 or 8 when captain left. since she was pretty young she didn't really know exactly why they left, and they didn't tell her either, so i'd say she probably resents them for it. she's a hotheaded edgy teen, classic rebel, you know the deal.
and then there's pierce (right), who's around 21 or 22 now, so he would've been 12 or 13 when they left. even if they didn't say a word to him before packing their bags and hopping a train at the asscrack of dawn, he knows exactly why they did. because being a kid and not only growing up, but having to parent your 2 younger siblings in your father's place, is hard. he basically had to take on their role as caretaker of harper when they left, being the second oldest, and that's how he realized. he doesn't resent them exactly, but he does wish they'd at least said goodbye. he's an outwardly chipper guy, and puts on a brave face even at the worst of times.
and they both did eventually get out of that house- pierce didn't leave as soon as he turned 14 like captain did (though cod, he wanted to) but when harper was old enough to be left home alone he got a job and saved up what he could to get himself and his younger sister out of there. and then when harper was 12 and he was 17, he got them both out of there. they might have gone somewhere else first, but i wanna say they probably ended up in splatsville, living in an apartment together with pierce doing what he can to support harper through school, and she does some turfing herself to help with rent and save up her own money so she can get her own place eventually.
i feel like the reason they probably haven't run into captain is that captain lives in inkopolis and only really goes to splatsville to visit rookie, and the last time they saw their siblings, neither of them were fully transformed yet, and they aren't so easy to recognize anymore themself. so if they've happened to pass each other on the street, it'd take more than just a cursory glance to realize just who they're passing. so it could definitely, and likely will, happen eventually. who's to say.
#ooc text#ooc img#headcanons#muse lore#jesus chirst this is a fucking novel and a half#but also i wanna say i think the reason captain is so fiercely loyal and 'no squid left behind' with their current found family#is because they'll die before repeating their perceived mistake with their siblings#tbcf to them they were only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD and were NOT equipped to raise 2 younger siblings#so it's fully understandable why they would dip as soon as they could from the situation.#they loved their siblings. they did everything they could. but they reached their breaking point. so they left that house before they broke#they DO feel a lot of guilt over it but they've never tried to go back and find them for multiple reasons- the guilt being one of them#but also when it comes to their father: i likely won't incorporate him into the blog in any way more than a mention or a flashback#he was a single father of 3 and he did an absolute shrimpshit job of it.#should've gotten help with parenting from someone OTHER than his oldest barely teenaged child#though he pushed the parenting role onto them long before they reached their teen years#anyway what the fuck am i talking about#wrote ANOTHER WHOLE ESSAY IN HTE TAGS I'M SORRY#I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BACKSTORY I'VE BEEN CRAFTING FOR THIS SQUID BEHIND THE SCENES#but anyway my point with these tags is: it's a very complicated family dynamic#all these squids are fucked up but at least they're out of that house now#i DO want to incorporate them into the blog somehow i'm just not sure when/how yet
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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