#what doe sit mean to have agency when you are a literal prop | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whimsicalworldofme · 2 years

Text

Saving Grace: Chapter Thirty-Nine

The newly proposed Sokovia Accords have Grace on edge, but Tony and Steve insist she not get involved. Adding to her worries is the teenage “mentee” her dad has decided to take on.

With her wedding dress purchased and the venue booked, it truly set in for Grace that she and Steve would be married in year’s time. Pepper had set up a few interviews with wedding planners for them in the coming weeks, but in the meantime, life returned mostly to normal. She’d taken on a new project at Stark Industries, despite the hectic nature of getting her foundation up and running, but it sounded promising and she couldn’t in good conscience let it fall by the wayside.

“Hey.”

She came upstairs to the apartment after a ridiculously long day to find Steve sitting on the couch, hunched over a thick booklet open in his lap. It looked suspiciously familiar to the one she’d seen her father reading when she’d gone up to the penthouse for lunch. She kicked off her shoes and plodded over to the couch, dropping to a seat beside her fiancé, leaning against him as she reached up and scratched her fingernails lightly along his scalp, starting at the nape of his neck and working upwards. He’d cut his hair again, much to her dismay. She loved the fluffy soft look from the forties a lot more than the spiky modern cut. He was handsome either way, but she definitely had a preference. He broke his concentration momentarily to kiss her sweetly.

“What is that?” She asked, noting the tension in his jaw and tightness of his posture. “My Dad was poring over a copy of that at lunch today.”

“The Sokovia Accords,” he answered tensely. “Bunch of bureaucratic bullshit.”

“That bad?”

Grace raised a brow. He rarely ever cursed, so if he immediately resorted to swearing, something had to be seriously wrong. Steve sighed, his whole chest heaving, and shook his head, thumbing through the manuscript.

“Essentially, if we agree to this, the government would own the Avengers. Literally own us Grace,” he spat. “We would have to get approval to do anything. We couldn’t just go help wherever we’re needed whenever we’re needed. And if the government doesn’t give the ok and we go anyway, we go to jail. In order to keep us in line, they’d have to surveil us.” He propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands, pressing his mouth against them as he leaned forward, lost in thought for a moment. “Any action not sanctioned by the government, whether refusing to do what they ask or acting without their permission means we would be jailed immediately, no trail, just immediate imprisonment. Our constitutional rights would be completely stripped away.”

“And if you don’t sign the accords?” Grace was afraid to ask, but she needed to know the full picture.

“Then if we’re caught doing what superheroes do, helping people, saving the world, we’d be jailed. They’re making it illegal to exist outside of their reach.”

“You can’t win either way,” she felt her stomach sink. “You either submit yourself to their rules and have your rights taken away or you have to give up helping people.” She felt a twinge of guilt over the fact that she’d just been talking with Pepper the day before about how she wished he’d retire from superhero life. He does so much good for the world. He shouldn’t have to give it up because of this.

“Signing the accords,” he waved a hand at the book in his lap before slapping it shut and tossing it on the coffee table in front of him, “it could all go wrong before anyone even realizes what’s happening. SHIELD was nearly overrun by HYDRA just a few years ago. And there are still HYDRA agents vying for power that we haven’t rooted out yet. Any government agency is equally susceptible to them. If we aren’t careful, we can easily go from being earth’s greatest defenders to its greatest threat.”

“Come here,” she rubbed his back lightly with one hand and tapped her other hand on her lap, beckoning him to lay down, which he did, his head in her lap. She stroked his hair in a bid to soothe him, taking her time to think through the situation. There really were no good options. “What does the rest of the team think about all this?”

“We’re mostly undecided,” he sighed, eyes shut as he relished the comfort she provided. “We agree that we need some sort of structure in place to ensure as few people get hurt as possible, limit collateral damage, provide financial help for anyone who winds up displaced or losing a car or something. What we can’t agree on is how that structure is enforced, what and who should provide oversight.” His jaw relaxed a little as she massaged his scalp. “Tony thinks we should sign.”

Grace’s hand halted mid-stroke and Steve opened an eye to look up at her.

“His guilt is eating him alive,” he posited. “I tried to explain my concerns, but after everything that happened in Sokovia and Lagos, he can’t see the terrible execution through the good idea. I hate to ask, but maybe you can give me some ideas how to get through to him.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“No,” Steve reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear before cupping her face, thumb running along her cheek. “You shouldn’t have to mediate. It’s Avengers business. This is something we have to hash out ourselves.”

“You do know that before I met you, Fury hired me to manage my father, right?” Grace laughed. “I don’t mind getting involved.”

“It’s different now,” he insisted, his hand falling down to rest on his abdomen. “Tony’s your dad, you two have a special relationship that you didn’t have before. And now you’re not my shrink, you’re my fiancé. It’s all too dangerously interwoven and tangled. I don’t want you involved.”

“I can help,” she insisted as he sat up. They turned to sit facing each other, each shifting into their usual spots on the couch.

“No,” he frowned, tone flat and firm. “You’re not to get involved. Promise me, right now that you won’t.”

“Steve,” Grace began to protest but the look on his face made her falter, his eyes steely.

“No, Grace,” he grew genuinely stern with her. “If we have any chance of working as a family, you can’t be the one in between me and Tony all the time. We have to learn how to work things out between just us. So you,” he took her hands in his and looked her in the eye, “are going to promise me right now that you aren’t going to try to be a mediator this time.”

“I promise,” she sighed. “I won’t try to mediate. But I do want to talk to my dad about this.” Steve rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh of frustration. “It worries me. Did you really think I could just not talk to him about it?”

“I’d hoped,” he said. “I can’t stop you though. You are your father’s daughter.”

“What does that mean?” Grace laughed incredulously. It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d said something to that effect, but usually he said it when she was being silly, not when she was frustrating him.

“It means, my beautiful, bride-to-be,” he said, pulling her into his lap, her back to his chest, and wrapping his arms around her as he kissed her cheek then her neck, making her giggle. “That you have a wild impulse to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you have to fix everyone’s problems. It’s how you save the world, keep people safe. And I love that about you, even when it’s infuriating and meddlesome.”

“I’m infuriating?” She tipped her head to one side, blinking as she assessed the statement.

“That’s not what you were meant to take away from that,” he squeezed her tighter to him and kissed her neck again, down to the sensitive spot where it met her shoulder.

“Mhmm,” she moaned as one of his hands began to wander. “Hey, do you think you can call me infuriating and meddlesome then get out of consequences by getting frisky?”

“I’m willing to give it a try,” he murmured in her ear, his hand slipping under her blouse. “And then maybe a nice dinner?”

“Well you should try it in the shower,” she directed him.

With a laugh, Steve plucked her up, carried her to the bathroom and slowly, tantalizingly made up for his commentary in a very unclean shower. Once they were dressed, in loose terms, since he was just in his pajama pants, Steve set about making them a fancy dinner. Going out for a nice meal wasn’t something that happened a lot for them, because doing anything out in public always felt like tempting fate, or at least, the paparazzi. Tony’s PR team was good, but the pregnancy scare had proven they weren’t infallible. Pepper had had a press release drafted up about their engagement and it was set to release to strategic press outlets, but they’d agreed in the meantime to stay out of the public eye as much as possible. Luckily, they had both gotten fairly good at cooking in the last few years, having taken some private lessons together, and made a lot of progress through trial and error together. Steve had a more natural knack for it, despite Grace’s best efforts, but she loved watching him.

Sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, wearing one of his tee shirts and a pair of underwear, Grace sipped on a glass of ice water, trying to cool down, which was hard to do, watching Steve cook, the muscles of his bare back rippling under his skin. Unlike her, he had no fear with a kitchen knife, so he prepped quickly like a professional chef and had even mastered the artful flick of the wrist technique for tossing the contents of a frying pan. Whenever Grace tried it, she sent things flying all over the stove. So she was happy to let him cook while she watched.

“Can I ask you something?” She leaned forward, propping her arms and torso on the counter, swirling her glass of ice water with one hand.

“Anything,” he smiled fondly at her as he began cutting up the potatoes he’d just finished peeling.

“Have you given any more thought to what you might like to do other than being Captain America?”

“I thought we’d landed on stay-at-home dad,” he answered. He scootched a cubed potato off to one side of the cutting board before grabbing the next one and chopping it in half.

“Ok, but even when we have kids, you only have to stay home full time with them for the first few years, before they start school,” she pointed out. “You’ll need something to fill your time. And I know you, you’ll want to do something meaningful.”

“Does it really matter right now?” He shrugged.

“If the government forces you into retirement before you’re ready, yeah, it kind of matters,” she sipped her water. Steve looked up at her through those impossibly long lashes of his, blue eyes carrying a strange pain. “Being a soldier is all you’ve ever known. I worry about the day when that’s not who you are anymore. I know you’ve thought about it, but now that it’s real?”

“Grace,” he finished cutting the potato he’d been working on and grabbed the dishtowel to wipe his hands off. Coming around to her side of the counter he turned her to face him, hands on the underside of the stool she was perched on, strong arms hemming her in as he leaned in to kiss her softly. “I know you’re worried. But you’re the one who told me that Captain America is only part of who I am. When the time comes, whether it’s my choice or not, I’m going to be ok, because of you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he gave her another quick peck on the lips before he went back around to his meal prep.

The next morning, Steve headed off to the boxing gym with Sam, who was in the city to discuss some new leads on Bucky, as well as the Sokovia Accords. Though there was a gym in the tower, sometimes they liked to go somewhere a little more down to earth. Grace had opted to take the day off from work, so she spent the morning, unbeknownst to her fiancé, skimming through his copy of the accords.

There is so much wrong with this, she mused after hitting on most of the major points. She’d learned to speed read as a child, so she got through most of it unnaturally quickly. There has to be a better way.

She knew her dad would be home in the penthouse all day, he’d made plans with her the day before for her to come up for lunch together, but with nothing else to do, she decided to head up a little early.

“Dad?” She called out when she got into the penthouse, not sure where he might be, or if he was even there. I should’ve checked with Friday. He could be down in the gym. “Hey Friday, do you know where my Dad is?”

“Mr. Stark is in the lab, Dr. Turner,” Friday answered. “Would you like me to tell him you’re here?”

“No, that’s ok,” she replied, heading towards the lab. “Thanks, Friday.”

Heading to the lab, she saw her father hunched over a workbench, lost in thought, his back to the door. Grace couldn’t help but smile, loving how this was how she usually found him, creative gears turning, lost in his latest project. It was one way they were very much alike.

“Hey Dad,” she greeted him but when he turned around, she spotted a young boy standing on the other side of the bench. He had mousy brown hair, big brown eyes, and a slender frame. “Oh, hello.”

“Gracie,” Tony wrapped her up in a hug and kissed her temple before turning around to stand beside her, arm around her shoulders. “This is Peter Parker, my new mentee.”

“Mentee,” Grace took a minute to process.

“You told me to get one,” he stated and she remembered that she had encouraged him to get into mentorship. “He’s brilliant. You should see some of the stuff he’s done.”

“Oh, I’m not comfortable showing –”

“He’s doing things with science fair projects that MIT students couldn’t imagine,” Tony made a face, the kind of face that Grace knew meant ‘zip it, kid’, along with a cut it gesture, swiping his fingers horizontally across his throat, before forcing a smile on his lips once more, casting a glance at Grace. Peter shook his head, looking confused, between the father and daughter duo but he said nothing. “With any luck, he’ll get into MIT in a couple years.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Peter,” Grace smiled.

“Hey kid, why don’t you take a snack break,” Tony suggested, releasing his hold on his daughter and going around to the other side of the workbench, slinging his arm around Peter’s shoulders and guiding him towards the door. “I need a minute with my daughter. There’s a cookie jar on the kitchen counter by the fridge, it says cookies, can’t miss it. Grace and Pepper made chocolate chip the other day, go wild. Milk’s in the fridge, glasses in the cupboard right next to it.”

“Oh, sure, Mr. Stark, thanks,” Peter nodded.

Once Tony got him out of the lab and shut the door, Grace crossed her arms over her chest, staring him down.

“Dad,” she started slowly, “that is an actual child. Please tell me he isn’t running around doing superhero stuff.”

“Why would you think he’s doing superhero stuff?” Tony shrugged, scratching at the back of his neck. “I found a kid with a brilliant scientific mind and plan to mentor him, per your suggestion, to be the kind of person to solve the problems of the future.”

“He freaked out when you mentioned the stuff he’s done,” Grace pointed out. “And this,” she copied the cut it gesture he’d so frantically done, “wasn’t subtle, so tell me the truth.”

“Ok,” he sighed and ran a hand down the side of his face, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew it wouldn’t do any good to try to lie to her. “You know those news stories about Spiderman in Queens?”

“That’s him?” She yelped. “Dad you can’t be encouraging this! He’s a child! What is he, twelve?”

“Sixteen, I think,” he looked up and to the left, silently searching through his memory for proof of what he’d said to confirm.

“Dad!”

“Hey, he’s been doing the superhero stuff all on his own,” he waved his arms towards the door, gesturing in the vague general direction of the kitchen. “All I’m doing right now is making sure he’s safer doing it.”

“Oh my god,” Grace dropped to a seat on a nearby stool and massaged her temples, eyes fixed on the floor. “When I said you should mentor, I meant find some college kids who are into robotics and clean energy, not children running around in tights beating up street thugs.”

“Look, it’s happening, with or without your approval, so instead of obsessing over it, why don’t you tell me what you came to talk to me about?”

Tony grabbed another stool and set it down beside her, dropping to a seat and leaning against the workbench, head in his hand as he rested his elbow on the work surface. Grace heaved a sigh.

The child superhero problem can go to the back burner. Too much else to worry about right now.

“I wanted to talk to you about the Sokovia Accords,” she came right out with it. Her dad groaned, head falling to his chest. “I read them this morning.”

“Shit,” Tony ran a hand down his face again. “I’d rather talk about the kid.”

“Dad,” Grace gave him the ‘this is serious’ look. “You made a mockery of a congressional hearing, on live television the last time the government tried to tell you what to do, that they wanted to own Iron Man. Are you seriously considering signing these accords?”

He snickered when she mentioned the congressional hearings, probably playing a highlight reel in his mind, but he grew somber very quickly, frown marring his usually jovial face.

“Grace, I’ve grown up a lot since those congressional hearings,” he said. “You can’t honestly say that you think it’s ok for me to be running around, unchecked.”

“That’s what the rest of the team is for,” she stated. “Nat, Bruce, Steve, you all keep each other in check. With Rhodey joining the team, you’ll have more checks than ever. But letting the government have that much control over you? I don’t like it. I don’t trust it either.”

“Did Rogers put you up to this?” He asked, raising a brow.

“No, he made me promise not to try and mediate between you.”

“Doing a bang-up job of keeping that promise,” Tony snorted, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not here to talk about Steve’s views or try to get through to you on his behalf,” Grace stated, getting up from her seat and going to lay her hands on her father’s shoulders, looking him in the eye. “I’m seriously worried about this arrangement, Dad. I read the Accords and honestly, I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?” He softened when he saw she meant it. “Gracie you know I’d never let anything bad happen to you.”

“I would consider my Dad and my future husband losing their freedom a bad thing,” she told him. “Or unwittingly winding up working for HYDRA. You saw how easily they infiltrated SHIELD.”

“I’m not going to let that happen,” Tony insisted.

“You’re just one man, Dad,” Grace exclaimed. “You can only do so much. I know you feel guilty about people you couldn’t save, but this isn’t going to stop there from ever being collateral damage. It just puts a government held leash on the Avengers. One that can throw you in prison on a whim, without a trial, without explanation, and without exceptions. I don’t trust it, Dad. Please don’t sign them.”

“It’s going to be ok, Grace,” he got up from his seat and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, wrapping her up tightly in a hug. “I promise you, it’s going to be ok.” He rubbed her back, holding her close, repeating that it would be all right, though whether it was meant to convince her or himself, Grace couldn’t be sure.

Chapter 38

Masterlist

Chapter 40

2 notes · View notes

blackstarising · 3 years

Text

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #ted lasso spoilers #fandom racism

316 notes · View notes

komfortkiri · 3 years

Text

QUIRKLESS!KATSUKI BAKUGO x QUIRKLESS FEM!READER x QUIRKLESS!EIJIRO KIRISHIMA

WORD COUNT: 1,308 TW/CW: GUNS, GUN WOUND/BEING SHOT, BLOOD, HEAD INJURY, DEATH, CURSING, VOMITING, DEPRESSION.

NOTES: I felt inspired and I couldn’t make an AO3 so.... I decided to post this on here for now then move everything over once I get an invite in my email. I hope you enjoy this whirlwind of.. emotion for this first chapter. Don’t worry, it won’t be the last of Bakugo. There will be HELLA plot twists. The first part is a flashback, in case it’s not clear. Y/N will have quite a few of them. I’ve already started on the 2nd chapter so after the zoo tomorrow, I’ll finish and post. 🥰

SONG: BeFoUr - ZAYN

Everything was so blurry. You managed to sit yourself up but felt so lightheaded, that you had to use the last bit of strength you had to hold yourself up. What was that loud explosion? You brought your hand to your head to rub but the minute it made contact, it felt wet. You thought it might have been from the sprinklers but when you looked at your hand, all you saw was blood. Your stomach wasn’t the strongest as it was but the splitting pain that you felt plus the faint feeling of adrenaline was enough to distract you from your urge to hurl. All you heard was ringing and alarms from what was left of the house you had just kicked doors in at.

You looked around, scanning the room with squinted eyes. There was debris everywhere, smoke filled the air and-- Wait.. Where was your partner? “Katsuki?” No response, maybe you weren’t loud enough. You tried so hard to move but that’s when you felt a sharp pain in your side and you looked down. You were shot. That didn’t stop you, though. Not only was Katsuki your partner for work, he was your literal partner. You lived together and loved each other so much. He was the first guy you had ever fell so madly in love with and the thought of him even dying was unacceptable. “Katsuki!” you screamed with everything you had left inside of you, using the arm you were propped on to drag yourself forward, wincing at the unbelievable amount of pain you were experiencing.

It seemed almost impossible to move yourself along the floor. You didn’t weigh that much, did you? You put your opposite hand over your side, applying some pressure to it. You managed to pull yourself to what seemed like the kitchen portion of the home, leaning your back on the doorframe for a minute to take a few deep breaths. “Jesus fuck.” That was all you could say considering the position you were in but when you went to look around the kitchen for any type of life form, it felt like your heart stopped and everything around you went slow. “No. No, no, no. Kats!” Your eyes filled with tears, from not only the pain, but the sight of your partner, your lover, lying lifeless on the floor. You pushed through the pain as much as you possibly could to pull yourself the rest of the way toward him but your arm was cramping so bad that it gave out just next to him. You tried so hard to reach for him, hoping that your fingertips could graze his face.... but even if you were so close, you were still so far away.

8 months later.

The last several months seemed to pass by rather quickly. It was filled with the same shit, every day, after you fully recovered from.. the incident.. All it consisted of was you waking up at the crack ass of dawn, attending work, sitting at a desk because nobody thinks you’re ready to go on missions yet then going home to wallow in sadness of it being so empty.. It was boring and a waste of your time, you felt like. You were one of the agency’s best agents, never failed a mission, and now you’re sitting around twiddling your thumbs.

In fact, that’s where you were currently. You were staring at your laptop screen, tears coming to the surface again because your background picture was you and Katsuki at a festival he brought you to as a surprise. You ran your hand over your face, blinking the tears away right in time because your boss, Ronald Clark, paged you through the intercom, telling you to come to his office. “Great, what does that old bastard want now?” A deep sigh left your lips as you stood up to head toward his office.

Once you reached the door to his office, you took a deep breath then opened the door, walking in. It seemed like you weren’t the only one that your boss wanted to talk to because your eyes immediately darted to a rather big man with bright red hair sitting in one of the chairs in front of Clark’s desk. You walked toward where both men were, but it seemed like they were so busy laughing about whatever it is they were talking about, that they didn’t even acknowledge your existence. You cleared your throat and it immediately got both of their attention, causing the red head to turn and look at you and you at him. You hadn’t seen him around here before so who was he? Why was he here? What did he have to do with this meeting with your bossman?

“Ah, Y/N. Sit.” You broke eye contact with the stranger to look at your boss, nodding. You circled around the other seat next to where the big guy was sitting to settle into it. “You wanted to see me, Clark?” He cleared his throat, almost nervous to bring anything up but he sat up straighter in his chair, crossing his arms on his desktop in front of him. “Well, Y/N, I called you in here because I know that you’ve gotten tired of your desk work and I get it, I really do. That’s why, I wanted to ask if you really feel like you are ready to get back out on the field? I know what happened was devastating for you so please, if you aren’t ready then--” You cut him off, “I’m ready but what’s Hot Tamale over here have to do with any of this?” You could’ve swore you heard a quiet chuckle leave the man’s lips. Your boss looked at him first then averted his eyes back to you, “Hot Tamale is going to be your new partner.” Your stomach dropped and all you seemed to be able to muster was a sarcastic laugh, scoffing. “Come on, boss. You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking.” The red head rubbed the back of his neck nervously, not expecting that type of reaction.

You heard Clark sigh while you looked between the two but he just shook his head, “I’m not joking, Y/N. It’s been 8 months and I know you’re still grieving but.. if you want to get back out there, you need a partner. You can’t do things without one-- It’s too dangerous.” You clenched your jaw, running your fingers through your hair. “Of course, boss. I understand.” Arguing would only get you more desk time and you were not doing that so you had guessed you’d play along with this.. game. “This is Eijiro Kirishima. He’s come from a bigger and more specialized agency. He’s very skilled in combat and is great with a gun.” You nodded, feeling sick. Did this mean that you were seriously replacing Katsuki? The longer you sat in the room with the two men, the hotter it became and the more nauseas you felt. “I hate to be rude but.. I’m feeling sick. I need to run to the little girl’s room.” You didn’t even wait for any rebuttal because in seconds you were running out of the door with a hand over your mouth and to the restroom down the hall, luckily making it to a stall where you puked from sadness.. disappointment.. anger. You felt so many emotions that it was hard to really pinpoint how you really and truly felt.

After you were finished in the stall, you came out then walked to the sinks, looking into the mirror. Why did you have to leave me, Kats? This wouldn’t even be happening right now. You hated to blame him but you were out of options at this point. It all just wasn’t fair and felt like it never really would be anymore. Tears began to fall from your eyes, one after the other. The heartache was too much to bare right now.

While debating on whether you should go back to your Clark’s office or go back to your desk, you received a text message from him telling you that you could take the rest of the day off and to feel better. You breathed a sigh of relief, doing just that.

You knew that tomorrow, you would start training with your new partner.

#eijiro kirishima x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader x eijiro kirishima #eijiro kirishima #katsuki bakugo #mha x reader

8 notes · View notes

fallout-drabbles-n-stuff · 4 years

Note

how about companions (+sturges) reacting to a sole who gets injured? :))

(Love that you requested to add sturges, hope you enjoy!)

Cait:

"Ya just had to go off and act the fool eh? What did I tell ye about that? Did you want to become super mutant puppy chow?"

Though she may sound rough at first, it comes from a place of true concern. Damn those green skinned freaks, especially their hounds. Had you just been a second quicker with your trigger finger, maybe you wouldn’t have the perfect outline of a mutant hound’s teeth imprinted into your thigh. It didn’t matter now though, no, what mattered to her now was making sure to get you some place safe enough for her to pour out her trusty flask of whisky onto your wounds and duct tape it up.

It would have to do for now..

Curie:

"Oh mon dieu..well, at least this is what I specialize in madame/monsieur."

Honestly this is best case scenario! She is equipped with a vast medical knowledge and proper instruments so..be it a simple scrape or broken bones, she’ll have you feeling like new!

Danse:

"Listen to me soldier, I need you to remain perfectly still for me. I know it hurts but just..stay calm."

In your line of work, getting messed up was well..let’s just say it’s an occupational hazard. Danse knew this quite well, but it still didn’t stop him from paling when he realized just how beat up you were after a straggler ghoul threw itself at you.

Once the firefight was done and he could properly asses you, he’d suck in a sharp breath, hesitantly stripping any necessary layers before doing his next to put into action what little field medicine he could remember from boot camp.

Probably not as good as going to a doctor...but he made it to where you wouldn’t bleed out.

Deacon:

"Oh..does your arm usually resemble jelly? I'm ju- just playing, oh..oh god."

Like always, deacon would use his humor as his go to..even when he felt like he was going to throw up when he heard the sick “crack” of your arm as you fell right down on it.

Whenever you got back to hq, he’d be certain to bug Carrington and Tinker Tom until you were feeling better.

Gage:

"I'll give ya a reason to cry if you don't shush it boss...now, do you need me to carry you back?"

Running around in Dry Rock Gulch probably wasnt the best idea you ever had, especially becoming apparent when you took a hard fall after tripping over one of the cut out props. No big deal right? Wrong. The minute you tried to stand you found yourself yelping in pain as a hot stinging sensation seized your ankle.

Rolling his eyes, Gage initially thought you were just being over dramatic but he soon realized he was wrong when he saw how much your ankle began to swell. He’d feel pretty bad for being so rough with you but he’d make up for it, making good on his word by literally carrying you piggy back style to properly address your injuries within the comfort of your “home” in fizztop.

Hancock:

"Now that doesn't look too good. Uh..here just sit down right there and wait. Mmh, now would you like to hit that jet I was offering? Too soon? Sorry..."

Fights and the resulting injuries were not something he ever backed down from. Lord knows he isn’t the squeamish type. That’s probably why you were just as surprised as him when his eyes went wide and he had to take a couple steps back..that is until you looked down and saw the rather deep gash into your mid section..heh, must be the shock keeping you from feeling it.

Regardless he would actually be flipping out, trying to play it cool by offering the chems when really he was having a meltdown on the inside.

Macready:

"Just hold still boss and..try not to look?"

He physically grimaced when he heard your body “plop” forcefully into the wall, the raider responsible for the force soon finding themselves without a jaw as you pulled the trigger against their chin with your own pained scream.

However it was when you helplessly whimpered, your arm hanging unnaturally at your side..he knew he had to help. As such, he’s seen this before thankfully, so he’d put you up against the wall before roughly putting your shoulder back in it’s place....desperately trying to not flinch when he heard your cries.

Damn.

Maxson:

"Sentinel? Oh..oh crap...Well don't just stand there, Knight! Someone go get Captain Cade immediately!"

Everything has seemed just fine. For purely official reasons, you were giving him a run down report of the recent mission, ignoring the less than subtle way his eyes lingered on the blossoming purple hue on your head during the entire time. The vertibird ride back up to the prydwen was awful..during the fight with the “muties” you lead your team through, one managed to hit you hard enough to shatter the glass visor on your helmet. Sure it hurt, there wasn’t anyway it wouldn’t..expect this injury was unique because well...for one you heard church bells in your head and could barely form an intelligible sentence without saying “uuuhhh” or pausing.

However even Arthur couldn’t help but break his professional exterior when his precious high ranking officer crumpled down to their knees right in front of him, your team hurriedly scrambling to get you up to the bay clinic, Elder Maxson right there beside you.

Nick:

"Wow..um, this would be a whole lot easier if you were made of steel and bolts. Never mind that, just hold tight, I'll have Ellie send for doctor Sun."

True to his word, he’d send his nice secretary out to fetch the doctor, taking matters into his own hands when he deemed it was taking too long. With a soft sigh he’d try to hide what little annoyance he felt..damnit he told you to be more careful..no matter what though he couldn’t stay too mad. So with a concentrated gaze, he’d carefully tend to your wounds- making Doctor Sun quite pissed when he finally reached the agency.

Old Longfellow:

"Told ya so....seriously though, you've got to be more careful cap'n. Now, bottoms up."

Had you done anything else he might’ve felt a little bad for laughing as hard as he did. He told you to be careful, you swinging that hammer around so carelessly. Just like he expected, you may have gotten a little too overzealous when you nailed down the board’s frame together, not moving your thumb out of the way before BAM!

With a pouty scoff you’d admit that yes, he was right, and after a smug smirk he’d pour you a nice stiff drink to full the pain.

Piper:

"Oh damnit, you uh..you're looking a little weird there. Hey, why don't we just sit down hm?"

If anyone would’ve gotten word of it, they would’ve thought it was hilarious. “The big, bad, fearsome sole survivor! Faints from stubbing their toe.” That would be one hell of an article, people around the commonwealth would eat it up. She wouldn’t dare do that to you though..no matter how silly it was. I mean, she’s seen you get shot and not break so much as a sweat but....you literally crumpled when you stubbed your baby toe?

After she got over the shameful laughter she tried desperately to keep in, she’d scramble to go pick you back up-leaving you to wonder why and how you ended up in piper’s bed back at the “publick occurrence”.

Preston:

"General, I mean, (y/n)..is there anything I can do for you? Name it and I'll do it."

He knew something was terrible wrong when you can stumbling back to the castle, your right arm clutching the left with a terrible pained expression on your face. After further investigation and your sheepish confession of just what had happened..he felt god awful.

If only he had been there to help you.

Nonetheless he’d make up for it now. His first mode of action was to personally escort you to get you looked at, after that he’d be there at your every beck and call.

Sturges:

"This is sorta what I meant when I told you people weren't as easy to fix...heh, not funny. Don't worry, I'll make sure to take care of ya."

It was a miracle you were even able to make it back to Sanctuary..well, it was a miracle and Preston’s assistance to be exact. As much as it pissed you off, instead of such a grave injury being because of some grand battle, you stupid power armor malfunctioned. One minute you were walking around, testing out the new modifications you made to the leg structures until next thing you know, your left leg’s frame failed and seized up. Usually such a thing wouldn’t have been a problem but, you were still walking when it did

With a sickening *snap* you felt such great pain that the ground beneath you began to sway, suddenly finding yourself unable to move without screaming.

Just as you felt you were going to lose all consciousness, Preston himself pried you from your armor and carried you back home where you were immediately posted up with a certain someone at your side.

Sturges, oh sweet, sweet Sturges.

Despite what many would assume, he’s pretty damn good at catering to you. Even if you practically shooed him away at times, he’d be right there to do his best to help you rewrap your bandages and lighten the mood some. Heck, he’ll even find someway to fix you up some crutches and a wheelchair for easier transportation.

X6-88:

"Just relax ma'am/sir, I'll be certain to have you properly tended to shortly."

In the wasteland it was painfully common to end up being shot. Matter of fact, it’s somewhat of a “christening” of the commonwealth. Well maybe not, either way it was just a way of life at this point.

So it wasn’t exactly shock inducing whenever X6 saw your bleeding shoulder, however he was still damn concerned. As such, he ever so calmly removed your jacket while you weren’t paying attention- receiving a startled gasp in return..as well as a pained grimace that made him flinch. With a sigh he’d shake his head, reassuring you before looking up and requesting teleportation back to the institue where he’d personally escort you to the nearest medical personnel.

#fallout 4 #paladin danse #sturges #elder maxson #cait #piper wright #gage #poter gage #curie #old longfellow #preston #x688 #hancock #deacon #macready #nick valentine

99 notes · View notes

xoruffitup · 4 years

Text

TROS (Mis)Characterizations: What Was and What Could Have Been

What started as responding to an anon ask turned into an entire meta... but working out all these thoughts has at least eased a bit of my TROS pain. :’)

From my perspective, TROS managed to destroy not only the characterizations built so far in the sequel trilogy, but also the entire story built upon these characters (mainly Reylo) as we knew them. While talking to a family member about the movie a few days ago and voicing my grievances with the story, he pointed out how someone could watch TFA and skip to TROS without realizing they’d missed much. That’s mostly true and entirely gutting.

Since I had an ask to talk about how TROS regressed in terms of characterization, I’ll start with the most hurtful of defacements: All of the nuanced vulnerability that made Kylo/Ben our most beloved character. We had absolutely nothing in TROS like the complex masterpiece moments of TLJ. Think back to “You are a monster.” / “Yes I am” – delivered with glowering menace as Kylo stalked closer, simultaneous to the tell of fragmented uncertainty in a quivering bottom lip and chin, all while his eyes remained completely riveted on Rey. Think back to “You’re not alone” – delivered with a wet sheen to his eyes in a soft cracked voice, but with self-loathing still smoldering behind his expression. Until the scene with Han, Kylo was shrunk into an entirely two-dimensional cookie cutter “villain” figure in TROS, seemingly more committed to the dark side and the First Order than he ever was to begin with in TFA. (I say “seemingly” because his true motives and interior dilemmas are frustratingly unclear in the entire first half of the movie. Cue me loathing the mask more than ever.)

Though Kylo seems uncharacteristically committed to the Supreme Leader role in TROS, considering he ended TLJ in a supplicating position fixing regretful eyes up towards Rey, luckily TROS did at least maintain the Force bond. …or at least the concept of it, because in execution the Force bond scenes achieved approximately nothing of what TLJ so uniquely excelled at: Creating a sense of intimacy, understanding, and forbidden tenderness between Rey and Ben. Instead of soft-spoken entreaties and promises across the soft glow of a fire or the dappling light of rain (ugh, remember the way light and shadow literally played out in contrasts across Kylo’s face during “I am a monster”? TLJ is a cinematic wonder, pass it on), we get scenes where the two yell and spit spite at each other. Most frustrating is how absolutely out of touch Kylo’s dialogue is with the Ben who was revealed through previous Force bond scenes. In a regression that makes absolutely no sense after Ben’s big proposal of “It’s time to let old things die: The Jedi, the Sith… I want you to join me” – he literally has the most reductive, bland, and meaningless lines such as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” ……..? Kylo has literally never been that boring or straightforward ever, not even since the TFA interrogation scene. He offered to be her teacher, sure, but never on terms that simplistic or blatantly combative to Rey’s will.

What I’ve always passionately loved and defended about Reylo is that Kylo never forced Rey to do anything harmful or against her will. Even pushing her to the painful moment of admitting the truth (or so we FUCKIN’ THOUGHT) about her parentage during the throne room scene did, in the end, help her character come to terms with repressed trauma and move forward in her journey of self-determination. (haha look at me, still stuck in my feminist goggles as if they haven’t been ripped off my head by TROS…) The point is: The TLJ Force bond was never a means of threat. It was never a tool for Kylo to say something as blatantly antagonistic as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” (Wow, did a Kindergartener write that? Come the fuck on, JJ.) And I was deeply disappointed to see the Force bond reduced to a tool used only to tell a part of the story unrelated to Reylo; rather than being the means of developing their relationship in and of itself.

This feeds into my overall biggest grievance with how Kylo/Ben was handled in this film. Similar to the Force bond – Ben’s character was reduced to a secondary prop piece who mostly served only as a narrative device in advancing the Rey-Palpatine plotline. Look, I imagined for months ahead of TROS the kind of candid Force bond conversations we might hear. Like “No one (knows me)” / “But I do.” (Where the FUCK did that line go?! Apparently JJ doesn’t know her…) Or perhaps Ben apologizing and opening up to Rey about how unhappy he is in the dark, how alone he feels. Instead…. we got shit like “You’re his granddaughter.” Like how dare they disrespect Academy Award Nominee Adam Driver’s talent like that?

Now, looking past the fact for a moment that the Rey-Palpatine addition is insulting, unoriginal, and sexist; there could have been a very interesting dynamic here. We would have the grandson of Vader and the granddaughter of Palpatine feeling very different pulls to both light and darkness, Force bonded together as they struggle with the weight of these legacies. Kylo, I imagine, was probably partially excited when he learned it, because maybe this means that Rey would understand him fully and perhaps this time, once she learned the truth, she would finally be with him. But nope, we don’t get nearly that much of a look into Kylo’s head. He does say at one point “You can’t go back to her (Leia), just like I can’t,” but the line missed the mark a bit for me because TROS still had Kylo appealing to Rey from the perspective of “Join the dark side as if we’ve done away with all that grey morality complexity we introduced last movie” – rather than from the perspective of “Neither of us should feel alone ever again.”

I’m rather unspeakably bitter that we had no exploration into what Palpatine’s return meant for Ben. I imagine he would have gone a bit wild upon learning that the man who was responsible for his grandfather’s fall was still alive. And the revelation of “I have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head”? This was enough to bring Ben Solo stans to tears before we even watched the movie, and yet it was treated completely off-handedly. Ben never even gets his own moment of coming to terms with Palpatine’s return. No “My grandfather killed you – how is this possible?” Nothing like that at all – even though he’s the character who would be most affected by his return in terms of legacy implications. Nope; Ben’s first encounter with Palpatine at the beginning of the movie – the same encounter where we learn Palpatine has apparently been behind all of the dark side grooming, manipulation, and isolation Ben has suffered since he was literally in the womb – quickly veers towards “Kill the girl / She is not who you think she is.” Early warning here that Ben Solo as a character in dire need of resolution is about to be treated with utter apathy by this film.

Here’s where I need to pause for a moment of self-awareness. While arguing with my Dad about this movie (he loved it), he threw at me that he thought I was being anti-feminist because I disliked the ending of Rey being alone. I quickly did my best to disabuse him of the idea that feminism = women being forever alone. This did make me think though about the implications of TROS veering away from the dual protagonist story framework that had been established up to this point; in favor of a narrative with Rey as the single and clear protagonist. The two main reasons I had such a knee-jerk reaction against this shift were A) It left a bad taste in my mouth after Rey ended TLJ emboldened by her acceptance of her past and unremarkable lineage; and B) It upended Reylo as the foundation of the entire story – also which we’d been led to expect. And I’m not just talking TLJ – I’m referencing back to JJ’s own Director’s commentary for TFA where he says “Now back to the story we really care about” when the film goes back to Rey and Kylo’s forest battle; who described Kylo as “a sort of prince,” and insinuated “you get the feeling there’s more going on here” when Kylo decided to spirit off Rey on Takodana. JJ set all the fucking clues here and then apparently forgot about each and every one.

However – am I perhaps not being fair to Rey in my disappointment that she doesn’t end the film in domestic bliss with Ben? Was I expecting something beneath her potential? Can I really say it’s a bad thing that the narrative rearranges itself in this film to focus chiefly on her?

The reason it all sits so wrong with me is because Rey’s characterization became bastardized for the sake of her solo narrative. Her character was essentially entirely effaced. The emphasis of her journey thus far pointed towards the crafting of one’s own identify; to the fact that might and greatness can reside within anyone, and it is up to that person alone to decide what kind of life to live with such power. Rey’s development at the end of TLJ indicated she’d found freedom from her past, and was now fully embracing the act of forging her own path without any constraints or shadows. But then, this road she’d been paving for herself was abruptly switched in TROS to one already completed and well-traveled, lined with unoriginal identity struggles and a copout for assigning Rey’s instincts of aggression and passion to the hereditary and ungendered “dark side.” This sudden switch stripped away all of Rey’s unique identity struggles, as well as her agency to define her own story.

Confining Rey to such an unoriginal and unfortunate struggle also required that her own goals and desires be changed as well. When faced with a legacy of evildoers, Rey’s story immediately shifts away from being focused on her, and rather to remedying the mistakes of men who came before. Rey’s own story was about a thousand times more interesting when she was in the center of it. As a twitter post I saw a few days ago but now frustratingly can’t find said very aptly: Male viewers found “Rey Skywalker” satisfying because they see a happy ending as being the “best” or the most powerful. Female viewers see a happy ending as being truly seen, understood, and valued for the person one is. (If anyone knows the source, please let me know...)

Rey used to say she wanted to learn “her place in all this.” That doesn’t indicate a thirst for greatness or power; but rather for belonging and connection. She has spent most of her story so far thinking back to her parents, then spent a solid 2 minutes in TROS looking longingly and smiling at the alien babies on Pasaana, which hello motherhood signaling. She has been happiest in moments when she felt valued and connected to those around her.

The idea of having greatness bestowed upon her by some external entity (aka a man) was already examined and rejected in TLJ. (Read: throne room proposal scene.) But in TROS, this act of external determination is thrust onto her regardless of her will. In so doing, her possession of a legacy rewrites and predetermines all of her goals, battles, and the key facets of her identity. She no longer has the freedom to embrace and cherish her found or chosen family; instead, her goal is to rid herself of the “family” that’s been thrust upon her – making what’s now presumably her happy ending of being disconnected from her assigned family the complete opposite from everything her character previously yearned for. Standing alone in a desert with the company of only half-remembered spirits is likely what filled the nightmares of young Rey of Jakku.

This is, of course, why the dual protagonist/Reylo narrative we expected to see in this film was so compelling. While doing none of Rey’s decision-making for her or removing any agency from the formation of her own identity; her force-bonded relationship with Ben offered Rey belonging, understanding, and purpose. Ben was the only character who could understand how debilitating and frightening it was to feel her Force sensitivity come alive and waver between the light and dark; just as he was the only one who could comfort her in that conflict without infringing on her independence. Once we saw dark!Rey in that D23 footage, I think every Reylo imagined scenes where Palpatine begins to sink his control into Rey’s mind and Ben rushes to her side to pull her back towards the light, because he knows all too well what those voices are like inside his head and he’d rather hear them all again than watch Rey suffer it.

From several perspectives, Reylo fighting and defeating Palpatine together is also the only ending that makes sense from a holistic storytelling perspective. (I mean both of them wielding blue sabers against Palpatine and fighting together in tandem – rather than that single crowd-pleaser shot of them hefting their complementary lightsabers together before Ben gets brushed off into a pit…) While Ben is the legacy character, representing all that our beloved original characters fought and suffered for; Rey is the new-generation character, representing a new age and the banishing of old mistakes which continued to perpetuate conflict. Only these representatives of new and old; of royal legacy and self-made upstart; could truly banish all of the harm committed in the galaxy by Palpatine and remedy all the loss and suffering effected throughout the Skywalker line. To have only a single character recently revealed to be related to Palpatine facing him alone (no matter how “badass” that might make said female character seem by superficial standards), rather than a union with the single remaining descendant of the Skywalker line himself is simply unsatisfactory and directionless storytelling. It is Palpatine’s manipulation towards three generations of Skywalkers that was the sole catalyst for all of the warfare, struggle, and conflict we’ve witnessed throughout this entire 9-film series. To not even engage with Ben Solo-Skywalker’s troubled relationship to that heritage and to completely fail in realizing the emotional catharsis and resolution that stood there waiting is nothing short of infuriatingly shortsighted storytelling. J.J. claimed in several interviews that this film was crafted with the entire preceding story in mind, as a cap to everything that came before. I have absolutely no idea which story he was referring to.

And so, from the perspectives of this film alone, the sequel trilogy, and the entire 9-film saga as a whole – Yes, I do claim that it was a poor decision in terms of story telling and character integrity to reconfigure the narrative to focus solely on Rey. For the reasons just mentioned, it was an utter disservice to Rey’s character arc. To reduce all of the tragedy, charisma, and youthful potential in Kylo/Ben’s character to a secondary narrative device is nothing short of shameful. Not to mention wasting all of Adam’s potential for playing truly heart-wrenching scenes of Ben’s penitent soul-searching. I will never forgive the fact that Ben had literally not a word of dialogue after his quick conversion scene halfway through the movie. Not only does he play no major role in the final battle with Palpatine, but aside from charging in heroically and doing a phenomenal Solo Shrug, he isn’t allowed a single moment of interiority. He has no speech to Palpatine declaring his change of heart and his reclaimed heritage. Perhaps most painful of all – he and Rey never even have their Big Talk where we expected Ben to apologize for the doings of Kylo Ren and for both of them to affirm their desire to be together and their devotion to each other. Adam did a pretty amazing job demonstrating all that in how he cradled Rey’s body and couldn’t even bear to look into her lifeless face (RIP my heart). But no matter how phenomenal and tender the Reylo kiss was, how luminous Rey’s smile was when she said “Ben,” and how achingly loving his eyes were when he looked at her – I can’t help feeling crushingly cheated that their love itself wasn’t what enabled the victory. Rather than the strength they lent to each other through a union that defied light-dark dichotomy (as it should have been and as the story was previously leading towards), it was rather Rey’s miracle heritage that won the day. The fact that Ben never says a damn word when he stands before Palpatine, or when Rey kisses him and he finally realizes she does care for him too – makes both their bond and Ben’s entire character feel like a throw-away prop only there for Rey to wear so long as this feeble story needed it.

I’ve been trying to put my finger on what made TROS’ plot so underwhelming and lifeless compared to TLJ or even TFA. The difference between TLJ and TROS in the simplest terms is that TLJ’s narrative was character-driven, whereas TROS subjected its characters to a narrative. Rather than a huge space battle, TLJ’s biggest moments are Rey and Kylo’s throne room proposal and Kylo and Luke’s showdown on Crait. Both of these moments had huge emotional stakes for the characters involved, which was what made them epic. TROS’ narrative, meanwhile, uses twists like the Rey Palpatine reveal to manipulate its characters in inorganic directions, and builds towards a finale that is unrelated to any of the long-standing challenges our heroes have confronted throughout the story. TROS derided its characters down to mere tools for a superficial spectacle of a story. TLJ, on the other hand, made its characters the story. It’s no wonder I found myself strangely numb and disconnected the first time I saw TROS.

Now, I’m just angry and disappointed. Disappointed that such brilliant, wonderful characters were wasted. Angry that we’ve imagined a hundred endings more appropriate and fair to the characters we hold dear. I am trying to appreciate what I can from the film and hold on to the few beautiful moments, but I definitely plan on writing my own fic version of how TROS might have played out, had it upheld the complexity and integrity of its characters. Even still, I’m quite sure we all know and understand Ben Solo much better than J.J. or Chris Terrio, so in our hearts Ben will find the happy ending he deserves.

#TROS #TROS spoilers #The Rise of Skywalker #Star Wars #Star Wars meta #Reylo #Reylo meta #Kylo Ren #Rey #Save Ben Solo #tros reactions #tros review #TROS meta

270 notes · View notes

bluetiefling · 4 years

Text

So, Cursed (2020), is pretty bad! And I wanted to say a few things because somebody had to. This is mostly ranting.

Cursed was rife with problems from poor pacing to poor worldbuilding to plain cliche and uninspired story arcs, but the most glaring issue has gotta be Katherine herself who c a n n o t carry this thing. It was gonna take a very strong and compelling actress to make Miss Nimmyway work and she is not that. The wooden acting just exacerbates all the issues the character has, which plague a lot of badly conceived fantasy protagonists. Mainly, being devoid of real charm and personality and having no agency because she plods through the story largely reacting to everything and not driving the action (while other characters fall at her feet and love her inexplicably and are there to hold her hand and tell her plot points to react to etc). When she starts “acting out” and showing I guess some semblance of personality, it’s because of ~magic corrupting her, so of course when she snaps at someone or goes into a rage it’s not really her fault and there’s no growth or organic character conflict to develop her. She also does a thing I’ve grown to loath in many protagonists where they get people killed or make stupid mistakes, and then angst about it but really they’re not taking any blame or examining their behavior, they’re just wallowing and making it about themselves. And of course other characters are there immediately to coddle her because actually, she did nothing wrong! And please, be our queen, girl we met five minutes ago who merely showed off some powers (which she complained about the whole time btw)!

Devon as Arthur is great and he can actually act, and he was trying so, so hard sell his romantic dynamic with Ninny but there was no saving it. He was one of many better and multifaceted characters trapped in her orbit where her lack of charisma and overall static character development makes it very hard to understand why he’s so sprung over her, let alone why she wins anyone else over enough that they want her as queen. And on that note idk why all the other characters (her included!) constantly treated him so badly and he himself keeps struggling with his own honor and sense of goodness when he’s an all around goodhearted and noble guy from the jump. It’s like the show was gaslighting me lol. I feel like their plan too is for Arthur to win hearts and minds and take the throne through merit, which I am here for, but I suspect they’re gonna frame it like he stole it from Ninny or something. Like I personally would love that because she sucks, but it’ll be tedious sitting through a show telling me she’s been so wronged by him, if that’s where they’re going with this eventually. I mean they’ve already had it so Morgana only starts feeling negatively about Ninny because (again) corrupting magic, because this show can’t bear to have characters form doubts about her competence or worthiness in a sincere way.

Morgana is another character played by a lovely and talented actress who immediately adores Ninny (well, I guess not immediately, but they had Ninny tell her “hey, being gay is okay” and that’s enough for Morgana to declare them bffs forever) and she too suffers from trying to prop up Ninny all season. I couldn’t believe it when in one scene Ninny throws a fit and tosses the sword in a canyon and Morgana jumps to declare she’ll go fetch it while Ninny literally sits and pouts. I mean??? And that’s basically their dynamic - Ninny complaining and Morgana bending over backwards to push this useless girl to her “destiny”. Lol and I guess they’re gonna expect me to side with Ninny when Morgana goes all dark sided.

It is so telling that one of Arthur and Morgana’s strongest moments was when they get their one (1) scene talking to each other about something that isn’t Ninny related. Devon and Shalom saw the chance to Act and they came alive right there.

Daniel is the reason I first heard about this show and I unabashedly loved his character and all the dramatic dance fighting - he was the highlight for me lol. (I KNOW I know) But that’s a problem when said character is very underutilized. He appears in every episode I think but sometimes that just amounts to less than a minute of screen time. His secret Lancelot on a path to redemption is one of the few twists on the legend that I’m really into, but there was so little to see of him. Like of course they must have been planning more focus for him next season, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t more they could do with him here. His redemptive turn is prompted by a few scenes in the finale when they could’ve been seeding it more throughout. And I would’ve loved more scenes with him and Arthur (who managed to spark with him in their one fight scene far more than he does with whatshername). Before I’d seen the show I would’ve said I hope he interacted with Ninny a lot to see if there was something worth shipping but uhhh... hard pass on the idea now and it’s maybe a relief I didn’t have to sit through him falling in love with her instantly while she looks bored and delivers her lines with the exact same cadence for every scene.

And speaking of female characters he is presumably going to have a romantic arc with (that’s assuming this show actually gets a s2 which it doesn’t really deserve... .....), we have Red Spear. Or should I say RRRRED SPEEAARRR RAHHH because the actress couldn’t say a line without rage yelling it. And I wouldn’t care except I know this woman is meant to be Guinevere according to the book and.......... ...... ..... Like putting aside my aggravation at Guinevere being another rawwrr warrior woman because these writers have very limited ideas for Strong Female Characters apparently, but I can’t deal with her also being lowkey deranged like RED SPEAR comes across in all her scenes. She was just too much. And we have such a good Arthur and Lancelot and the thought them trying to make that love triangle work with RED SPEAR is actively painful.

On that note, I’m a tiny bit hopeful that the fact the Guinevere name drop never happened in the show (as it did at the end of the book) means they’ve realized the actress can’t do this and they’ve cut that. Maybe she’ll be recast? Ideally they rewrite the plan for Guinevere entirely and let her be, god forbid, a courtly maiden who can’t fight but is no less “strong” for it? What a concept. The team behind this show doesn’t inspire confidence on that front, though. They seem set in their ways... I am also preparing myself for the possibility that they just merge Nimue and Guinevere after they realize Nimue has largely served her purpose already and they struggle to come up with things for her to do. And then my suffering will continue because I will keep watching this garbage for Daniel.

I have no idea what the viewership numbers are for this show - I would guess not great but worse things have been popular on Netflix so who knows. It doesn’t deserve a s2, but the show is potentially salvageable I think? I mean my recommendation would be letting Nimue stay dead at the end, her purpose and story finished, and let Arthur take over as the main with Lancelot and a new, not Red Spear Guinevere, as co-leads. You could really have something with that combination. Also get a new showrunner and reshuffle the writers’ room while they’re at it.

#aka the Shannara method which did wonders for improving things between s1 and s2 #ok I'm done I just had to get this out #it's depressing how often ppl mess up Arthurian adaptations :/#Cursed 2020

35 notes · View notes

this-is-my-canon · 4 years

Text

For @kakaobiweek prompt, Spies and Secret Agents

All’s Fair in the Line of Duty

Explicit, read here on Ao3

“Our timeline has moved up.”

Obito eyes the grinning pale associate sitting across from him, who clasps his hands over the table and sits upright, favoring a lean toward the briefcase pressed against his left leg. Even while delivering news with urgency, this man can maintain an air of control. He seems to have no fear, or maybe he’s oblivious. Obito sighs and pans his gaze across the bar. People come and go from dark and alluring places like this on a regular basis, which usually works in his favor in this line of work. But right now, he’s not the only one using this locale to his advantage.

“My employer is not a lenient man, Tobi.” Zetsu leans forward this time, his grin finally faltering as he eyes Obito with displeasure. “Are you hearing me? He expects to know what is in Room ten’s safety deposit box by tonight. We can’t wait until tomorrow.”

Obito raises his chin toward the bar. “How long has that man been sitting there, Mr. White?”

[[MORE]]

Zetsu follows Obito’s gaze with a glance over his shoulder and a dismissive shrug. The man in question has been there since before Obito’s arrival and hasn’t moved. His head rests on the bar, silver wisps of hair shadowing his eyes, concealing what few features aren’t hidden behind a bent elbow. His hand is cupped around a half-filled glass of amber liquid, but he hasn’t moved beyond the slow and subtle rise and fall of rounded shoulders.

“You mean how long has that drunk been lounging on the bar?” Zetsu asks, his smile returning as he meets Obito’s eyes. “Hours.”

“Since before you arrived here?”

Zetsu raises a brow. “Something you’re not telling me?”

“That drunk,” Obito spits, keeping his voice low and eyes fixed on the unmoving figure, “is in fact Konoha’s top agent. It’s no coincidence that he's here.”

Zetsu frowns. “A spy? For Konoha? But that’s where you-“

“How much have you said here?” When Zetsu doesn’t respond immediately, Obito presses a clenched fist into the wooden table. “Mr. White.”

Obito remembers Kakashi Hatake well enough to recognize him even with his face hidden. He also knows better than to underestimate him. Positing himself at the bar like this is the perfect way to gather intel unnoticed. If Madara’s plans are to be carried out, Obito needs to do some damage control before he moves on to illegally examining safety deposit box contents.

“Oops,” Zetsu says with a coy smile under the heat of Obito’s gaze. “I can’t say I recall. I did take a call from...him when I arrived here.”

Obito presses his fingers into his eyes, because this is most certainly going to be a problem. He has a long night ahead of him. Fortunately, he does have some advantage when dealing with his former rival turned enemy.

“Maybe I should-“

Obito stops Zetsu with a raised palm. “I’ll take care of this. You just...stop talking for tonight. You’ve revealed too much as it is.”

“But you’ll be able to meet the new demands?” Zetsu narrows his eyes. “I won’t be the one in the line of fire, Tobi, if you can’t deliver.”

Obito gnashes his teeth. “I let you do your job. Now let me do mine.”

Obito stands without giving Zetsu a chance for another stupid comment. He strides to the bar as if he has no aim, taking a carefully chosen seat several empty barstools down from Kakashi’s. He waves over the redhead behind the bar, who flashes him a stunning smile beneath eyes just beginning to show the lines of her age, and props a hand on her hip.

“What’ll it be?” she asks, rather loudly, considering her customer inches away from them is passed out on her bar. Apparently.

Obito gives her his best smile. “What’s this guy having?” He nods his head toward Kakashi. “It’s gotta be good. I’ll have one of those.”

“You think you can handle it?”

As the redhead’s eyes light up and she spins her head toward Kakashi, Obito reins in the unwanted feelings that come about from hearing that voice after so long. He remembers that voice low and heady in his ear, the taste of that wicked tongue, the feel of being in Kakashi’s arms. If Obito hadn’t changed so much, he would be petrified when Kakashi looks at him. Kakashi would be pissed, seeing him now, knowing what he’s doing. But as he expects, there is no recognition in Kakashi’s deceptively hooded eyes when Kakashi throws a glance his way. He can’t see through the new facial scars earned by close calls, the eyepatch hiding Obito’s nearest and most distinct eye, the orange hat concealing his hair. Mostly, it’s the complete change in Obito’s demeanor that makes him unrecognizable. He’s a new man now, one Obito doesn’t expect Kakashi to want or to understand.

Obito meets the bartender’s blue eyes clouding with doubt and scoffs at Kakashi’s challenge before telling her. “Yes.”

She gives a nod, in spite of whatever doubt Kakashi’s questioning has triggered in her. “I’ll have to get a new bottle of gin from the back, y’know. Just a minute.”

As she skirts away and through the back door, Obito side-eyes Kakashi. “Finished off the bottle yourself?”

“Now that’s a rude assumption,” Kakashi drawls, slowing raising his head from behind his folded elbow and revealing to Obito the handsome face that hasn’t changed a bit. “Maybe the bottle was nearly empty when I arrived.”

“Or maybe it wasn’t,” Obito says with a grin.

Kakashi frowns and casts a glance over his shoulder where Zetsu still sits. “Isn’t your friend going to be disappointed you’ve left him?”

“He’s not a friend.”

“Date, then.”

Obito grins and leans across the empty stools between them. “You know that’s not what this is. Now cut the shit.”

Kakashi’s eyes don’t widen, but there’s a flicker of surprise that quickly fades away. If Obito didn’t know him so well, maybe he wouldn’t have seen it. But he does, and he enjoys the feeling of sparking that reaction in him far too much. Maybe it can’t hurt to get a little sidetracked tonight. He’ll pull off the heist of the safety deposit box in no time. He can enter and withdraw from a place these days undetected with more ease than his employers realize. And seeing Kakashi again is an opportunity he can’t pass up. Obito turns his smile to the bartender returning with his drink in her hand, appreciating the excuse for the smile betraying his face.

“Okay.” Kakashi narrows his eyes. “Tell me what you and your associate are doing here.”

Obito snorts as he slides the drink toward himself. “Fat chance.”

He sips the icy liquid. It burns as it slides down his tongue. He’s never understood how Kakashi can drink these types of drinks. Immediately, he regrets his stubborn decision to have the same. When he sets his glass down, he catches from the corner of his eye a smug smile on Kakashi’s face.

“How’s the drink?” Kakashi says.

“Shut up.” Obito bites his tongue just in time to stop himself from tacking on the insult that would reveal his identity to Kakashi, in spite of all the physical alterations.

Of course, Obito will have to reveal his identity at some point now that he’s decided he wants to see more of Kakashi. There’s no way Kakashi won’t recognize his skin.

“Are you familiar,” Kakashi says, swirling his finger around the rim of his half-empty drink, “with that man’s other associate? Black?”

“Can’t say I’ve heard the name.”

Can’t say, but definitely heard it. Black is an elusive man, even more than Madara. Perhaps he is the one truly pulling the strings in this organization. If Kakashi even knows about him, Konoha may be onto Madara more than they realize.

“Well, he took something of mine,” Kakashi continues with a note of hostility in his voice. “And I want it back.”

“I’m sorry,” Obito says, knowing the something is Konoha’s list of secret agents whose identities are now exposed to Madara. “I can’t help you.”

“Can’t?” Kakashi raises a brow. “Or won’t?”

Obito meets his eye, shakes his head with a huff of a laugh and sips his terrible drink again. It goes down even harsher this time. When he sets his glass back down, watching its caramel colored liquid swirl with the blocks of ice, Obito tenses at the feeling of breath against his neck. Kakashi has moved in, the sly bastard, and is literally breathing down his neck. From this position, he could put a gun to Obito’s back without anyone in the bar the wiser. He could kill Obito in a single move, not that Obito expects him to. So Obito remains still and waits.

“You’re not getting into that deposit box tonight.”

“What deposit box?”

“It belongs to a friend of mine.”

“Oh? And what about this?” Obito turns and lifts his eye patch, revealing the red eye that speaks volumes to Kakashi’s memory.

He’d damaged it when they were young together in the same agency, working side by side in Konoha before Obito left, quitting the field - as far as Kakashi knew. Obito’s tired of playing this game now, though. It’s too easy. It’s time Kakashi knows who he is and Obito prepares himself for the backlash.

Daringly, he meets Kakashi’s eye. “Does this belong to a friend of yours as well, Kakashi?”

Kakashi’s eyes are wide with horror. Obito has never seen him like this. If he enjoyed the reaction he pulled from Kakashi before, he is reveling in this current reaction. Kakashi slowly shakes his head, staggers over a barstool before catching his balance with a hand bracing him against the bar, and exhales.

He’s still shaking his head when he says, “This can’t be you.”

“It’s me,” Obito says resignedly, reaching again for his drink. “I’ve changed, Kakashi. You seem to be up to the same game as always, though.”

“You’ve changed alright,” Kakashi says venomously. “Madara? You’re working against Konoha? I thought you were-“

“Dead?” Obito shrugs. “Madara faked my death. Easier to take me on as his agent that way.”

“You bastard,” Kakashi says, tossing a few dollars on the bar as if they could strike out at Obito. “If you think you’re getting anywhere near that deposit box now, you’re mistaken.”

In spite of the dark tone to Kakashi’s threat and the fact that he leaves without another word, Obito feels no concern. He feels disappointed that it had to play out this way, but what did he expect? He was stupid for thinking this could work out differently with Kakashi knowing what he is. A goal is a goal, though, and Obito has no intention of failing to meet his.

“You’re the one who’s mistaken,” Obito murmurs into his drink before throwing back one last sip and dropping a few dollars on the bar.

[explicit parts only on Ao3, read continuation via the link]

#kakaobiweek2020 #spies and secret agents #Kakashi Hatake #Obito Uchiha #Naruto #fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

shippeh · 5 years

Note

i stg hbt is one of my favorite hot takes on abo. like the ways laws work in most abo’s are always so loose or like rapey if they’re even there at all & i’ve just gotta give you props for writing drama w/o fetishizing rape culture (if that makes sense?). ANYWAYS i have Questions! accidental bonding=accidental pregnancy levels of social stigma i.e. dumb&irresponsible? how DO kiri’s parents react? actually how do their friends react, while we’re at it. why did kiri think his hero career was over?!

HEY SO IF U HAVENT FINISHED HEARTBEAT THUNDER STO P READING THIS

actually stop everythign ur doing and go read my fic bye

anyway hhhnnnn you are so kind to me i die. this is way long so here’s a read more

accidental pregnancy is like nothin compared 2 accidental bonding,,, when you got so many people just have super fertile sex all the time in so many different ways sometimes pregnancy just happens and like u just go abort it if you dont want to have it, its not a big deal really, people gonna give you a lecture like “you have been taught about birth control since u were ten WHAT are you out here doin”

sex ed is like a huge thing in hbt really so pregnancy isnt like, the MOST common thing in the world but it happens and barring irritated parents its not a particularly big deal cuz like. well for one you can just terminate the pregnancy and ur fine, but for two adoption is so huge and there’s so many willing parents out there that you can go that route too

i was gonna write a scene with kiri’s parents but then decided it didnt really add anything to the plot but im pretty sure one of his moms says something like “why couldn’t u have just gotten him pregnant instead’ so.

like straight up it’d be less weird for them to come back and say they’d eloped and are married

accidental bonding is. like. kind of pretty taboo and not something that happens often. its mostly just drama for soap operas for teens and their grandmas to watch together and gasp behind their hands “i would NEVER”

muzzles are (meant to be) pretty fool proof, bakugou’s just.... too much pride and self confidence and lack of fear while at the same time being skilled enough at maintaining himself during heats that he even is ABLE to undo the latches

. its really rare for couples to do do rut/heat shares without like, explicitly talking about it first because it’s not like anybody is surprised by heats except for weird circumstances so it’s almost never ever that there aren’t muzzles or other barriers in the way (i mean its quirk society so who knows, if ur alpha has six mouths then there are blocking collars so) and also it’s not always that an alpha feels compelled to bite like that in rut anyway

all that to say that kiri’s parents are Not Happy At All especially his mama because she’s been sitting here the whole time just kind of waiting for them to break up. mom cycles between ‘oh its so ROMANTIC’ and ‘how did i raise my son so wrong’.

it’s rougher than w bakugou’s parents for sure. the bakugou’s are actually weirdly chill about the whole thing and that’s because they know their kid and they know that with anything he does he’s All In so they’ve long accepted kirishima as part of the family forever. mitsuki panics because she thinks kirishimas gonna be mad enough to do something stupid and leave bakugou (which. he can, technically, but it’s p much a form of psychological suffering for both of them after that.)

bakugou’s parents didn’t do their bondmark until katsuki was like, already ten, and a LOT of couples never even do it at all, so, it’s not taken lightly

they also do NOT tell them that bakugou took the muzzle off himself and let them think that kirishima managed to tear it apart with his quirk. that’s an executive decision made before talking to them about it

kiri worried that his hero career was gonna be over because like. the publicity of trying to be a new aspiring hero while having a bondmark at 18 is not easy. there are a lot of agencys who would fire a hero or demote them to sidekick for that kind of thing.

BUT izuku obviously isn’t gonna do that. gang orca doesn’t give a shit either as long as bakugou gets work done and also bakugou’s suit hides it, so

as for their friends uhhhhh first reactions are not always Great but everybody loves them and know they’re good together so they get over it and it’s just another fact;

kaminari literally refuses to believe it’s not a joke until he sees the mark and even then he’s like ‘wow haha really good makeup effects’ in a wobbly voice

uraraka says loud and fake “IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU” while covering her mouth because she’s horrified

mina’s always wild and is like “DAMN boys hahahhaha bet i can get one that’s bigger” and then bakugo tries 2 explode her

tetsutetsu just like Quiet and Wide eyed like “yooooooooooo,,,, bro,,,,, wtf bro,,,,,,’

and everybody else is just like variations on similar themes.

except izuku who legit just collapses onto the floor and talks to himself for a good five minutes while kirishima watches patiently, then he stands up and is like ‘alright. congrats ei i hope you two are very happy and i mean that for real’ and he’s hte nicest one about it

#thunder hc #oh this is a long one i DO have thoughts #grumbee

19 notes · View notes

victorianoir · 4 years

Text

The Detective and the ManFatale, Part 1

Sorry I haven’t been keeping up here. But I’ll be adding the rest of what I’ve written since the last chapter I posted on tumblr. And I’ll add it to the MASTERPOST of The Detective and the Tech Guy here, as well. If you want to read this chapter on the fanfiction.net site, you can read it here: BOOP.

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She found herself nodding off at her desk yet again, thanks to the long night she'd had.

Reaching up, she gave herself a few light smacks to the cheek and blinked, stretching her arms above her head. A satisfied smile made itself known on her face. The extra tiredness was more than worth it. Not sleeping more than the two hours she'd gotten earlier this morning? Worth it.

Part of her had been reluctant to say yes to Chuck when he proposed they "adventure" last night. Well, honestly, she'd misunderstood at first when he'd said they should "adventure", because she'd taken it in an "exploration" sort of way. It wasn't her fault, really, since they'd been wrapped up together on his couch watching TV at the time. Or not watching TV, because they were actually making out heavily with the TV on in the background. So it only made sense that she'd taken "We should adventure" as "Let's move from second base to third base".

Then she had realized he'd meant outside; actually going somewhere in the middle of the night and adventuring in the city.

She'd been more reluctant about that. Obviously. What woman wouldn't be when she had a Chuck Bartowski to enjoy being pinned under instead?

She snorted to herself and pushed her hands through her hair.

God, she was tired. Even if driving over bridges, climbing to the tops of hills, looking up at the stars from their spot on the sandy beach after walking along its shores, was all worth it.

Why did she even come to the agency today? She was her own boss. She could've taken today off, kissed Chuck goodbye as he left for work, and stayed all wrapped up in his bed for the rest of the day, sleeping the tiring (but invigorating) night she'd had off.

But that wasn't how she wanted to operate with Walker Investigative Enterprises. She was a damn professional. And she'd be here, yawning and all. Because she was honestly between cases and really needed to up the marketing to get someone with a case in here. Granted, most of the work she needed to do was ugly, horrible paperwork. Filing things for taxes, making sure the IRS didn't come busting her door down.

She yawned again and groaned, thumping her forehead against the top of her desk, taking a deep breath, and letting her eyes shut.

It was worth eventually walking up that hill to watch the sunrise with Chuck's arms around her.

Totally worth it.

And God, why hadn't she stayed in bed? Professionalism really was a lousy trait for someone to have.

Suddenly, she heard the soft sound of the hinges on the outer door to her agency creak, and she lifted her head, sitting up straight.

"Uh…ahem…anyone here? Is there a, um, a bell?"

She rushed out from behind her desk, opened her office door a bit more and stepped out. "Yes. Good afternoon. May I help you?"

The man lifted both eyebrows as he peered at her, and she couldn't help but notice the almost charming slow smile that presented itself on his handsome face. "It's a great afternoon suddenly, from where I'm standing."

She gave him an exceedingly polite smile. If this was a client, she couldn't afford to be rude. Literally, she couldn't afford it.

He cleared his throat, shaking himself a bit, seeming almost self-deprecating. And then he smirked a bit, as though…Well, he seemed pretty aware of himself. There was a thread of amusement at his own expense, which she didn't expect. "Right. Uh, I'm here to see the, um, private investigator. Detective Walker? Mister Walker? Not sure which…"

"I'm Sarah Walker, private investigator."

"It's you?" he asked. He pushed a hand through his wavy jet black hair, and grinned. "Wow, that's your name on the door, huh?"

"Yes. It is."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. I'll stop being such a prick and get to the reason why I'm here."

She wished he would. She was too tired for him to be standing here doing the same thing a lot of people had done when they first saw her. The gawking, either at her being a woman, or perhaps at the fact that she was as good-looking as she was, or both. The asking of that age-old question: "Really? You're Walker?"

Yes, asshole. Really.

She didn't care if this guy was handsome in an old school Alain Delon sort of way, or that he had a nice lilting accent that sounded like it might be British…but not at the same time. She thought he was probably South African, but the accent felt…different. A little off, maybe.

It was still freaking annoying that he fell into the same trap everyone else had.

"Uh, so…" He cleared his throat and shut the door behind him finally, straightening the tan suit he wore. "Well, I think I need your help."

"You think?"

"Well, I guess I know I need someone's help." He shook his head. "And I need someone good, someone who can be very discreet."

"I'm both of those things," she said, smirking a little.

A bit of a flirtatious look came over his features and he crossed his arms at his chest. "And confident, too. I like that."

"Why do you need a private investigator, Mister…?"

"Cartwright. Robert Cartwright. You can call me Robbie."

"What can I help you with, Mister Cartwright?"

"Not Robbie, then?" He chuckled and nodded. "Sorry. You're a professional. I should treat you as such. Inspector Walker? Detective?"

"Miss is just fine."

"That is good news."

The meaning wasn't lost on her, and she pretended it was, seemingly continuing to stare at him, waiting for him to actually get to business like he said he would ages ago. She was too tired to play games but she wanted a case to work on.

He cleared his throat again. "Right, well…It seems I'm in a bit of trouble, Miss Walker."

"All right. Come into my office and we'll talk about it."

"You mean you'll take my case?" he asked hopefully.

She sent him a bit of an amused look. "Did I say that?" she asked over her shoulder, eyeing him, and she led him into her office, gesturing for him to take a seat across the desk from her, taking her own seat after. "Can I get you water? Coffee?"

"Do you have any whiskey?"

"No."

"Well, good. I'm a champagne man, myself."

Sarah smirked. His sense of humor was catching her off-guard in a similar way to the way Chuck's had, especially when she'd first met him a few years ago, sitting across from him in his father's office, not expecting him to be so handsome or charming, to the point where she'd found herself flirting with him without realizing it.

She wouldn't be flirting with Robbie Cartwright at all, and certainly not in the way she'd flirted with the tech nerd.

She was more than simply taken. When it came to Chuck, she was fully off the market, even for something as innocent as flirtation. Even if it was almost…intriguing…how similar parts of this man were to Chuck, while also being incredibly different. Maybe it was the place he was coming from, the way Chuck felt very sincere in everything he did while this man just made her feel a bit…not guarded, per se, just…on her toes.

It was very strange. She wanted to work it out more than she wanted to hear about his case, she found.

"I don't have champagne."

"No, I expect you wouldn't. Not here, anyway. Perhaps when you fix this issue of mine, we can find somewhere that does have champagne and celebrate?"

"Please, let's not get ahead of ourselves here, Mister Cartwright. I haven't taken your case. I still don't even know what it is yet." She went into her drawer, pulled out her small notepad, a pen, and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs and propping the pad on her knee as she waited patiently.

"Yes. Sorry. I shouldn't just assume you are single…" He pulled his chin back a bit and looked at her through his eyelashes, as if hinting he wanted to know if she was single. She didn't owe him any information about her personal life or romantic life. And anyway, whether she was attached to someone or not, he owed her more respect than to be broaching the subject of champagne or celebration when he'd literally just walked in to ask her to help him with an 'issue'.

"Mister Cartwright, your problem you need help with…?" she finally prompted, as if she didn't even notice the way he paused significantly.

He seemed to pick up on what she was doing and seemed to appreciate it as he smirked and nodded. "I apologize. You're…very distracting." She had no response to that. "Right. Yes. Well… There is this…acquaintance, shall we say, of mine. Normally, I try to mind my own business, especially when I don't know a person, right? But there's just something about him that seems…not right."

"How so?" Sarah asked, twirling her pen in her fingers.

"Jerald Brown. Have you heard of him?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"He's an alleged philanthropist. Think he has a tech company or something. But I keep hearing things about business dealings that just don't add up. And with the connection he has to philanthropy, the amount of people who depend on him being on the up and up, it's genuinely concerning."

Sarah frowned, giving him a dubious look. "What does that have to do with you, Mister Cartwright?"

"Maybe I'm just a good guy."

He chuckled when she gave him a flat look. She wouldn't stand for a potential client treating her like she was stupid.

"I'm sorry, you're right," he said, smiling, his light blue eyes sparkling. "I'm an okay guy. It's mostly that I'm thinking about maybe doing some business with him. I want to make sure he's not involved in any illegal business dealings. I don't want to be hoodwinked or have my named tied up with his if he's…disreputable. I want to know he's a good family man."

"Are you a 'good family man', Mister Cartwright?" she asked, without a hint of flirtation.

He apparently took it that way, though, as he grinned and leaned forward. "I am not, Miss Walker. Any particular reason why you ask?"

"Yes," she said, smiling a little. "Because I wonder why you require a potential business partner to be a good family man if you don't require that of yourself."

"Oh." He sat back again. "Perhaps—and I'll admit this to you, Miss Walker, because I'm not claiming to be an angel by any means," he said, with a mischievous look she might've been more attracted to at some other point in her life, namely the past, "I might be something of a hypocrite. Perhaps I expect more of my colleagues than I do of myself." He shrugged. "Isn't that human? Don't we all?"

She sniffed in amusement. "Touché."

He grinned again at her assenting his point.

"So, will you take my case, Miss Walker?"

Sarah eyed him for a long time, flipping her notepad shut, open, shut, open… There was something about him that intrigued her. And it wasn't exactly a good intrigue she got from this first impression, like she'd gotten from her very first encounter with Chuck; it wasn't a need to know more about him, to know him better because he seemed like it would make her feel good to know him. No, this was different. She wanted to get to the bottom of where this guy was coming from because he wasn't like other people she'd met. Something set her on edge and she wanted to know why.

It wasn't just the clicking lilt of his accent or the way he seemed to emphasize certain words in his speech, every syllable coming out measured and precise as if he was parsing words. The more he sat across from her and spoke to her, the more his charm was less genuine and more a blanket to cover something else, or it was a distraction perhaps.

But she wanted to keep this guy around, she decided, keep him in her sights. She found she didn't care much about Jerald Brown. Robert Cartwright had her full attention.

So she nodded. "All right, Mister Cartwright. I'll look into Jerald Brown for you. It might take some time. I need to tail him, get some information, meet with contacts." She climbed up from her chair and set her notepad and pen on her desk.

"Take all the time you need, Miss Walker." He clapped once and stood as well, smiling in relief. "As long as it's discreet. I don't want a potential future business associate to know I've sicked a wicked P.I. on him."

"Wicked?" she asked, smirking.

"Mhm. Oh, don't worry. It's a compliment."

She gave him a look, then pulled her calendar out, scanning it. "Do you have time to meet again on Friday? I'll draw up a payment plan, we can go over that, and we'll solidify what you need from me."

The look on his face told her he was just barely resisting the urge to tell her exactly what he needed. And she was glad he was holding back. She didn't want to have to draw lines with a client. It was demeaning.

"Here?" he asked.

"Yes. Please. Noon work for you?"

"Friday at noon." He straightened his suit again. "Shall I bring the champagne?"

"I don't drink when I'm working, Mister Cartwright."

He held his hands up. "Of course. But may I try again to ask you to call me Robbie? I might be a bit too entrenched in my South African ways…"

She wasn't sure that was a South African thing. It sounded more like a Guy Who Was Attracted To A Woman sort of thing. But she didn't care enough to dispute him. "If that makes you more comfortable, then I will."

"It does."

She nodded, neglecting to tell him he could call her Sarah. Because, honestly, he couldn't. "All right. See you on Friday, then, Robbie."

His wide smile was charming again as he flashed her a double thumbs up. "Sounds great. Thank you for considering my case, Miss Walker."

She nodded, watching as he left. And it wasn't until the main door out into the hallway shut behind him that she let out a long sigh and sagged against the desk her assistant would sit at. If she had one.

This was going to be interesting.

Very interesting.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck was in the middle of blowing a robot's head off when he heard the door to his condo open. "Hey, hot stuff," he called over his shoulder, not looking as he finished off another robot.

A few seconds later, as he beat the level, pumping his fist in front of him with a "yessssss", he felt her cool hand slide over the back of his neck.

"You knew I wasn't Morgan, right?" she asked. "I feel like I just need to make sure."

He cracked up and saved, turning it off altogether. "He doesn't have a key to my place. You're the only one who does."

"Good point," she giggled, leaning down and kissing the top of his head. He noticed she had her briefcase draped over her shoulder but she wasn't in her work clothes, in stretchy pants and a V-neck shirt instead. "You don't have to turn off your game."

"Nah, that was a good stopping point."

"I'm going to be doing work anyway." She lifted her briefcase and huffed, plopping down onto the couch next to him and swinging the strap off over her head, dropping it to the floor next to her feet, kicking off her sneakers and tucking her legs under her body.

He lifted his arm and let her lean into his side, draping that same arm over her shoulders and pulling her close. "Paperwork?"

"A case."

"Oh. Oh!" He squeezed her shoulder. "Hey! A case! That's awesome! Tell me everything. The whole thing. I want to know every detail."

She giggled. "Chuck, I can't give you every detail of every client's case."

"Fiiine." He gave her a put-upon sigh and got his hair ruffled for it, giggling and trying to push her hand out of his curls. He managed to wrestle her down into his lap, her head resting on his thighs and she beamed up at him, blowing some of her blond locks out of her face and threading her fingers with his, resting them on her abdomen. "You can tell me, like, highlights if you want."

She giggled. "You win. But only because it's really adorable how excited you are about my work."

"That's mostly just because it's you. I hope you know that."

Sarah's blue eyes softened and she reached up to pinch his chin. "I love you a lot." He just grinned down at her, resting his hand on her head and stroking her hair back from her face. "So, yeah. This, uh, rich guy from South Africa wants me to look into someone he's thinking of doing business with. That's all."

"Ah, doing some vetting, huh?"

"Mhm."

"Some discreet vetting. That's the best kind."

She chuckled. "I guess so. It's not as easy."

"But you got it. You're incredible at being discreet." He shrugged. "You're incredible at everything."

Sarah beamed up at him. "You're being so cute and schmaltzy tonight. What's up with that?"

"I dunno," he said with a chuckle. "I missed you. Haven't seen you in, like, two and a half days. Do you get to tail this guy?"

She made a face, probably at his quick change of subject. But she still answered. She was too used to him doing that to her, he thought. "Yeah, I do. I have to, I don't get to. Tailing people isn't fun in any way, shape, or form, Chuck."

"No, I'm sure it's no piece of cake or anything. But it is kinda cool."

"You just think that because you watch too many movies that make it look cool. It's completely boring and exhausting."

He huffed. "I'll take your word for it. Since you're a professional. So is this South African guy just wanting to make sure he won't get himself into trouble being connected to this other guy?"

"Yes. Cartwright seems…I dunno…" She paused, biting her lip. "There's something I can't quite put my finger on. He's charming, doesn't seem like a terrible person or anything. I've spent the last few days just doing a quick check on him, building a little dossier of sorts. Mostly keeps to himself, stays out of the limelight… couldn't really find any pictures of him as a result. At least nothing prior to a few months ago."

Chuck had already pulled his phone out and brought up Google. "What's his full name?"

"Robert Cartwright," she said, giggling as he typed it in. "You really think I didn't Google image search him? There are literally no pictures of the guy. Anywhere. Just a recent picture on some low-tier celebrity blogger's page."

"That's impressive." He scrolled through. There really was nothing. "Oh. What about this guy?"

"Mm. No. That's not him. That's for some crab shack restaurant or something in Maine. A different Robert Cartwright."

"How did he manage this? I want to talk to him and ask him. Because I would love this to happen when people Google search for Charles Bartowski. Instead of that stupid fuckin' picture of me from that celebrity video game tournament when I'm practically biting my tongue off in concentration. Four years later and I still don't know how to purge the Internet of that damn picture. Headphones smashing my hair in all these weird directions."

"I love that picture. I'm gonna print it out and frame it…keep it on my desk at the agency to remind me of how lucky I am."

"Stop it."

She giggled with her tongue between her teeth. "And I'll tape a hundred dollar bill to it to remind me of how rich you are, which is why I'm really lucky."

Chuck's jaw fell open as he cracked up, trying to grab her as she bolted upright out of his lap and dove out of his reach.

They eventually settled into their routine of sorts, Chuck strewn long ways across the couch, his head in her lap, his laptop propped on his abdomen, Sarah holding the file she was building on the Jerald Brown "mark" she'd eventually told him about as they talked about the case here and there.

It had surprised him. He'd heard about Jerald Brown even if he hadn't ever done business with him, or even crossed paths with him. But the man seemed like he was genuine, not a criminal, even above reproach, if the things Chuck heard about him in the past were any indication. He told Sarah that, in not so many words, and she'd seemed to mull it over for a while.

"Okay, here's what I don't get…" she said finally. "Are you busy? May I confer with your stellar brain?"

Chuck snorted. "You may. Though my stellar brain might need a martini to really feel stellar. I held off on a martini earlier because I think I just had a sixth sense you'd be coming over tonight and I should wait."

"Awww, are we at that point in this relationship when our minds are melding?"

"Oh, definitely," he hummed. "I'm gonna mind meld with you right now. You're going to ask me why Cartwright isn't as handsome or as cool as I am, even if he is from South Africa and has a tight accent."

She laughed, her head falling back. "How did you do that?" she asked, booping him on the nose. He chuckled. "He does have a tight accent, though. But I was going to say I don't get why Cartwright is so paranoid about Jerald Brown."

Chuck shrugged, shutting his laptop with a yawn and reaching over to set it on the coffee table. "You said he keeps to himself, stays out of the limelight. Maybe he's just like that. Paranoid. Thinking everyone's out to get him, steal from him. Even guys on the up and up like Brown."

"But does he hire a P.I. for every single business transaction, every partnership? My fees aren't exactly cheap, and I'm on the lower end of the private detective LA circuit. Why is he so paranoid about Brown in particular?"

"Maybe he knows something about Brown he isn't telling you. Like, he's testing you to see if you can figure it out for yourself."

She gave him a look. "Chuck, what would be the point of that?"

"I…" He thought for a few seconds. "Don't know. Sorry. I'm just lobbin' ideas atcha. Seeing if anything sticks. I don't know of anything Brown might be hiding."

"You might be right and he's just paranoid. I bet you are right, actually. He just doesn't seem like that type of guy. He seemed…outgoing. Kind of mischievous and teasing. He didn't really fit the paranoid build."

Chuck froze a little. Something about the way she'd been talking about this guy made him sound like he was on the younger side, but also that he might be…compelling, charming. That interested him. And set off a few quiet but definitely still there alarm bells. But there was also something about the way her eyes became so sharp, her lips pursed, like she was deep in thought, working something out… He knew her enough to know there was more to this guy than met the eye.

"Just how much about this guy's build did you notice, Sarah Walker, P.I.?" he asked, widening his eyes and sitting up, shifting close to her and facing her full on.

"Shut up," she giggled. "You know exactly what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. He's probably, like, some ManFatale…flipping his hair and giving you a dark, dangerous look as he tells you he's in trouble." She began laughing and shaking her head as he affected an old-timey accent. "I'm in big trouble, Sarah Walker, P.I., and I need help. I need ya help, see?" He smoldered to finish it off.

"Why do I even like you?"

"Martinis and money."

Sarah cackled and slid her fingers into his hair at the back of his head, leaning in to give him a long kiss. "Mmmm, both of those things help." He loved the cheeky way she smiled at him, biting her lip. "But speaking of martinis…"

"On their way." He pecked her lips and got up from the couch, yelping as she gave his backside a swat while he moved past where she sat. "You know, sometimes you do that and I feel like a piece of meat," he teased, going to the bar and grabbing everything he needed.

"Wait, do you really?" she asked, and he looked over his shoulder to see that the look on her face was one of sincere concern.

"No," he said with a snort. "You just got through talking about my stellar brain, after all."

"It is pretty stellar."

"Thank you. And so is yours. You're like if Poirot was an incredibly sexy woman in her twenties instead of an old Belgian man with a crazy cool mustache."

She giggled. "Would you still love me if I had a crazy cool mustache?"

"What?" He finished the martinis in record time and went into his kitchen to grab a few olives for himself. "I think I would love you extra, if I'm bein' honest."

That earned him a strange look as he came back in with their drinks, one in each hand.

"No, seriously. Maybe while you're tailing Jerald Brown you can wear one for me, huh?" He made a play growl sound as he carefully sat next to her and handed her a martini.

"You're so weird and I love you so fucking much." She sipped her martini and moaned. "So much. How is it this good every time?"

"Baby, I'm a masterpiece. Obviously." He chuckled as she let out a bubbly giggle, tugging on one of his curls.

"You kind of are, though."

"Mm nope. I have my faults."

"Sure. So do I. And yet…you masterpiece." She shut the folder on her lap and set it to the side, on top of his laptop.

"Oh. Folder's away. Uh oh. What are you up to—? OH."

Sarah had swung her leg over to straddle him, martini still in hand, interrupting him with a slow, and sizzling if he did say so himself, kiss. When she pulled back, she took another calm sip of the drink.

"I have an idea."

"Please God tell it to me," he breathed out in a rush.

That made her snort, and yet it didn't break the heated mood even a bit. "What day is tomorrow?"

"That's a question, not an idea—Sorry. Uh, Thursday."

"Thursday. Well, I don't have anything pressing at the agency. Do you have anything pressing at B.E.C.?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"I'll cancel everything."

She beamed. "You don't have—"

"Listen, if you weren't currently sitting on my phone, I would've already texted Adisa to cancel everything for tomorrow by now."

Chuckling, she leaned in and kissed him again. She had this way of coupling a slow, heated kiss with stroking his hair that made him feel like he was sitting in a fire pit in the middle of the Saharan desert.

"Let's stay in tomorrow," she murmured against his lips.

"Perfect. We can do an X-Files marathon."

Sarah giggled and shook her head. "Stop it." She kissed him again.

"No, I'm serious. Nothin' like aliens and—"

He stopped when she pressed her finger to his lips. "Okay, you really need to know when to shut up."

Chuck smirked. "Yeah, true. It's one of my faults."

"I can work with it."

"Oh?"

"I have ways of shutting you up."

"Do y—Oh. Oh, wow you do."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck was in a bit of a sour mood as he pulled up to the parking lot beside the building where Sarah's agency was. That was why he was here in the first place, wasn't it? To get rid of his mood. His girlfriend had a singular way of chasing the dark clouds away.

Also, he was hungry and he thought he'd treat her to lunch.

He hadn't seen her walk out of her apartment this morning with a packed lunch like she did more often these days. It saved money, she said, his frugal and responsible private investigator.

Well, she'd save money today, because lunch was on him.

He needed to get his mom's stinging barbs from earlier out of his mind. He needed to get rid of the anger he'd felt at her words. And he needed to do it before he got up to Sarah's agency, because she'd see the look on his face no matter what he did to hide it, and he'd have to tell her that his mom was being awful about her again.

He hated that it hurt her.

He hated that his mom still did this.

He and Sarah were approaching their second anniversary: it was almost two years since that morning they ate breakfast together on the floor of his half-demolished hotel room in Paris, when they decided to make a genuine go of it. And his mom had known about their relationship for over a year now. She still couldn't just…be nice.

It had felt a lot worse today because he'd almost let himself hope that Mary Bartowski was starting to come to terms with her son's relationship with the woman Pinkerton sent to protect him two and a half years ago, her son's relationship with the woman he had more than proven he was in love with. And he felt like Sarah had more than proven she reciprocated his feelings.

His mother had been almost pleasant, in a sincere way, the past few weeks. She'd extended a genuine invite over the weekend for Chuck and Sarah to come have a meal with the whole family. That had included Devon's parents, even, which was just…unheard of. Even when she had asked Chuck about inviting Sarah's parents, when he told her that they weren't in the picture, since he didn't really know much more than that honestly, his mom had seemed sorry and sympathetic, rather than using it as yet another reason to hint something was wrong with Sarah. There was no tone when she'd said, "Oh. Poor Sarah. I didn't know." And it had given him some hope.

But today, she'd gone back to her usual business when she'd visited Chuck in his office, asking whether Sarah was getting clientele yet, if "after all of this time", she actually had a job. As though the months and months of her building up her agency wasn't literally a job, even if she didn't get paid for it until she took on her first case.

It was worse because he'd built so much hope, only to have it dashed. Like she'd been saving it up for the exact purpose to make him feel even more like shit. He knew that wasn't the case. And he knew she had misgivings about Sarah for reasons that were real for her. But she was wrong. And until she accepted Sarah, she'd always be wrong.

He needed to find some way to deal with it besides being so angry all the time. He was well past done allowing his mother to hurt Sarah, and that meant keeping these small rifts he had with his mother over her from reaching her ears.

Taking a deep breath, he got out of his car and headed inside of the building, pressing the button and waiting for the elevator.

He straightened his blazer and took another deep breath. He was about to see his favorite person in the world for the second time in one day, if waking up beside her this morning counted. He counted it. And he was incredibly happy about it, ready for it. He needed it, frankly.

Even just seeing that epic door of hers, with the foggy glass and her name printed on it: Walker Investigative Enterprises. It filled him with joy. She was living her dream. She was here. They were here together.

His mom could frankly sit down and shut up. He tried not to inwardly wince at that thought. As though wherever she was, Mary Bartowski might feel or hear his thought about her, fly to his side, and ground him, send him to his room, bar him from his video games.

Chuck opened the door to her outer office and stopped when he heard voices inside of her personal office. Oh…she had a client, a visitor, someone was here. He felt like maybe he should turn back, leave, and come back in fifteen minutes maybe. He could text her first. And then he'd come back.

Or…

He could eavesdrop…since that was what he wanted to do more. As much as he knew he shouldn't. But he just wanted to.

So he oh so silently crept in and eased the door shut. The hinge creaked a bit and he made a note to bring some WD40 at some point to fix that. But he didn't hear the voices stop, so he assumed they hadn't heard.

"This fee is more than doable," the man in her office said, his voice wafting out of the not-quite-shut door. "In fact, it feels like a steal. Why don't you let me give you more up front?"

"It isn't necessary," Sarah said. "I have a set rate I charge my clients depending on the type of case and the work that will go into it. This is a fair price to start."

"It's too fair. I'll up it by thirty-three percent." The man chuckled. "Oh, come on. You know, I'm trying really hard here to thank you. A little kindness, you know…" Chuck rolled his eyes at that. "For someone I like." That made him frown a little. "And it helps that upping the paycheck I give you means I might get even better work from you."

"I do my job pretty well with the rate I set."

"That's not what I mean at all."

"No, I know," Sarah said, being more than reasonable, Chuck thought. "Robbie, please just agree to this, read through it, sign. That's all I need from you. This amount here, write me a check up front. And the rest when I finish the job. I reserve the right to charge more depending on the work I end up having to do for the case."

Robbie…?

"You're really stubborn, you know that? But I'll match your stubbornness as we continue to see one another, you just give me some time." There was a pause, the sound of papers being turned, the scratching of a pen against paper. "This is a lot better than an Apple terms and services agreement, I'll tell you that. You get right to the point, don't you, Sarah Walker?"

"I find brevity works better for everyone involved."

"Oh, not me. I love complications. I'd have complications' children if it was at all possible."

Chuck heard Sarah giggle at that. He felt a bit of heat come up from his collar, knowing how foolish it was immediately. Even if this Robbie fellow was obviously charming and even more obviously flirting with his girlfriend, his girlfriend hadn't flirted back—nor would she. It wasn't his ego telling him that, it was his trust in her, in them.

And he needed to cool it with the green-eyed monster.

But he found it even harder to do when he leapt back to the visitor chair and sat down, grabbing the issue of Cosmopolitan that was sitting there and picking it up to pretend he was reading it, because out came a stupidly handsome man, dressed in a spiffy, tailored suit, insanely perfect swoosh-hair, and blue eyes that were literally sparkling as he looked over his shoulder at Sarah as she followed him out of her private office.

"So you're shooing me out—?" The words died on the stupidly handsome man's lips as he noticed Sarah had stopped, looking at something else. That something else was Chuck and he was pretty mollified and gratified both by the dazzling smile she flashed him after her client spun to see what she was looking at. Or whom.

"Oh," Sarah said. "You're here."

"I am." He nodded once, then looked down at the magazine in his hands. The page he'd randomly opened it to in order to make it seem like he wasn't eavesdropping was absolutely a full-page How To chart for oral sex. "Ahem." He dropped the magazine back to the table. "Interesting…articles…in there. Informative," he said, tugging at his suit a bit to straighten it.

The stupidly handsome man seemed to just be standing there awkwardly then, and Sarah snapped out of her amused, but somewhat searching look, and gestured towards the door.

"Mister Cartwright, I'll fill you in on what I find Monday when we meet again."

"You don't work on weekends then, huh?" Cartwright asked, smiling teasingly.

"I do, yes. Hence why I'll have something for you on Monday."

Yeah, you stupidly pretty assmunch, Chuck thought to himself with an inward smirk. God, she was so hot.

"Oh. That makes sense." He chuckled self-deprecatingly, then turned to eye Chuck a bit expectantly.

It became clear to everyone in the room that he wouldn't leave without some sort of an introduction. So Sarah, very reluctantly Chuck saw, moved between them and reached out in his direction. "Oh, excuse me, Mister Cartwright. This is Mister…"

"Bartowski," Chuck said, stepping closer and sticking his hand out. "Charles Bartowski."

Robert Cartwright's eyes widened in recognition as he took his hand. "As in Bartowski Electronics Corporation?"

"That's the one, yes. Nice to meet you, Mister, uh…"

"Cartwright," the other man said with a grin. Sarah gave Chuck a bit of a droll but amused look that only he could see.

"Cartwright, yes. Sorry. Have so much on my mind, always."

"Oh, yes. Yes. So you're seeking Miss Walker's services as well, are you?" He crossed his arms at his chest.

"Yes. Yes, I am…seeking Miss Walker's services." He shared a bit of a look with Sarah and he could see that telltale sparkle in her blue eyes, the way she twisted her pursed lips to the side, probably to keep from smiling or laughing.

"Well, I don't think either of us has anything to worry about. You're highly recommended, Miss Walker. I've heard nothing but very good things, and I get around and hear…well, quite a lot. In my business." Cartwright clapped his hand on Chuck's shoulder, even though he'd been talking to and looking at Sarah.

"Yes, Walker Investigative Enterprises operates with the utmost discretion. So discreet. Professional." Cartwright turned back to Chuck as he responded.

She mouthed "Stop it" from where she stood behind Cartwright, her eyes wide, amusement threatening to boil over.

"Indeed, Charles. Indeed. Well, Miss Walker, I'll let you see to your other client, I suppose, though it's hard to pull myself away, I admit…" the other man groused, and then he reached out his hand towards Sarah for her to shake. He held onto her hand for longer than Chuck thought was necessary, then bid his goodbye and swept out of the place.

He was charming as all get-out and it made Chuck feel…grumpy. And what in the hell was with the strange clip in his accent, like he was concentrating? It didn't feel like an easy charm and it unsettled him. It was probably jealousy. And he was even grumpier about that.

But then Sarah sidled up to him, twisted her hands in the lapels of his jacket, and pulled him in for a slow kiss. "Mmmmm," she hummed, before pulling back, their noses and foreheads pressed together. "Why didn't you just let me tell him you're my boyfriend?"

"Honestly? Two reasons. The first is that he'd trust a recommendation from a super rich tech guru with high expectations over a recommendation from your boyfriend." That made her grin. "The second is that if you told him I was your boyfriend, after all of that flirting he was doing at you, it'd be a little embarrassing for him and I wouldn't be able to hold back the hubris. Which is just rude."

Sarah looked like she was going to laugh, but then an intelligent spark lit her eyes and she pursed her lips, raising an eyebrow. "He wasn't really flirting that bad…"

"Uh, yes. Yes, he kinda was. I mean, he doesn't seem like a full-fledged garden or anything…"

"Garden?" she asked, making a face.

"Seedy. It's a new thing Morgan and I came up with. The term'll catch on. Just wait."

"Oh my God." She just shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, her usual reaction to the weird phrases he and Morgan tried to trademark.

"Wait." She looked at him funny. "Are you…jealous?"

Chuck scoffed. "Nah. It's just…I mean, I walked in and you called him, um, Robbie. And when he flirted with you, there was a liiittle bit of a giggle that came out of you. I'm just sayin'. I heard it. But…I mean, no big deal."

"Chuck, stop."

"No, it's just that he looks like someone took him right out of GQ's Face Edition."

"There's no such thing."

"If there was, he'd be the cover. He's a ManFatale, Sarah. Don't let those baby blues fool ya. That one's dangerous." He leaned his face close to hers and narrowed his eyes, lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh my God," she groaned, letting her forehead fall to his shoulder. "Chuck, I was—" Then she stopped, pulling back a bit and looking up at him through her eyelashes. "I really don't have to explain myself, do I?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"You know you don't," he said softly.

"I didn't think so."

"But seriously, he's kind of too charming. That's weird. And also, how'd he know who I am, Sarah?"

She gave him her 'what the fuck' look. "Chuck, I literally just told him who you are. I introduced you to him."

"No, I know. But he knew Bartowski Electronics Corporation. What's that about?"

"Seriously, Chuck? It's not exactly like B.E.C. isn't well-known. You were on the cover of Forbes with your dad. Where do you think all of that money I'm dating you for comes from?"

"Haaah," he drawled mockingly, sending her a faux glare that made her giggle. "I'm just saying, I'm a little suspicious."

"You're a little jealous."

He held up his fingers. "Just this much. That's all. He looks like a god, Sarah. And he was flirting. Admit that." She conceded with a small shrug. "Am I allowed a little jealousy? Even if I acknowledge it's silly?"

She giggled quietly and kissed him again. "Yes. It's good for my ego. But that doesn't mean you can start flirting back at that Benji Thompson guy's daughter who was at your parents' little anniversary shindig a few months ago."

"Marilyn?"

"Yes. Her."

The way she narrowed her eyes was extremely gratifying, and he held onto the sensations of knowing that interaction had made Sarah into a bit of a green-eyed monster. Not to mention she'd remembered Marilyn Thompson even all these months later. Hmm. "Well, at least we're being ridiculous together," he snarked.

Sarah snorted. "True." She kissed him one more time, then fixed the collar of his suit jacket. He didn't know if it really had needed fixing or if it was just a habit of hers to play with it. "What brings you here today, my tech guy? Miss me already? Even after this morning?"

Her blue eyes glinted with what she'd done to him this morning and he cleared his throat, his hands balling into fists over the waist of her pencil skirt she wore. "I think especially after this morning, if I'm bein' honest."

That made her giggle.

"I actually wanted to take you to lunch. If you haven't eaten."

She hadn't.

And that was how they found themselves sitting across from one another at a breakfast and lunch cafe a few blocks away from her office. He watched as she hungrily shoved her burger in her mouth and took a massive bite. He was glad he'd pulled her away to eat. Any later and she would've let herself start to become Hangry Sarah. And Hangry Sarah was almost as bad as Hangry Chuck. God, the few times Hangry Sarah and Hangry Chuck had met…scary. Truly scary. Morgan had nearly been murdered but thankfully the chef had fed them fast enough to protect himself.

So he waited until she'd gotten enough into her system to eat a bit slower before he brought up the other thing.

"Hey…So…Interesting timing, me coming to take you to lunch today, what with your meeting with Cartwright and everything being today as well." She made a questioning face as she sipped her ice tea to wash the burger down. "Well, because I was actually going to talk to you about that case. Cartwright's case I mean."

"Why? You have info or something for me?" she asked around a fry.

"Yes." He cleared his throat. "So, this um…" Chuck leaned in closer to her and lowered his voice. "Jerald Brown guy, the one Face Edition is having you investigate." She gave him a flat look at the new nickname he was using for her client but he ignored it. "He works in the tech industry."

She nodded. "Yeah. He has a large share in Gridiron Technology."

"GT deals mostly with the big machines, like the big security systems, power grid, all that digital stuff big firms and factories are using to operate and protect their businesses." Sarah nodded again, as though she already knew all of this. "GT is looking for a new investor. Someone else they can bring in to buy some shares and add some power and money to the whole thing, get back some clout after their stock took a hit last year."

"Cartwright," she said.

"Mhm, that was my thought."

She smiled at him. "How'd you find all this out?"

"Babe, I'm in the know. Duuuuh." She rolled her eyes as he picked at the lettuce on his own burger and put a bit in his mouth. "This is my playground. My dad's pals with all of these guys. Or at least, he knows of them. And because he does, I tend to learn stuff, hear stuff as well. But!" Chuck held up a finger. "This is really hush-hush. They don't want to seem like they need this investor. So they're being discreet, operating it under the radar, so to speak."

"So is that shady? Seems like it could be shady."

"It could be, but it'd be a lot of damn work and for what reason? There's also the fact that Jerald Brown has a reputation."

"What kind of reputation?"

"A really good one. Family man, good business, fair, honest."

"Family man." She rolled her eyes. "That's such a loaded phrase."

He winced. "Really good point. He has a family and he seems close with them, though."

"You ever meet him? Do business with him?"

"No, but…I mean, speaking from experience, I'd say Brown is a lot more trustworthy than this god-like Casanova giving you money to investigate a guy who seems pretty upstanding."

"Chuck, your green-eyed monster is showing."

"No, it's not that," he hissed. "Brown is a tech guy. I trust a tech guy over a smarmy rich guy who, frankly, you don't even know where he gets his money. Let's be real, here. Um, also, Jerald Brown can be found on Google."

"Stop," she said in a flat tone. "Chuck, come on. You're being biased because Brown works in your industry and you heard Cartwright flirt at your girlfriend."

"No, I—Sarah, please. You know I'm not that childish." She smirked and he frowned at her. "Fine. Look. Just keep what I said in mind, huh? And maybe look into Gridiron Tech a bit more closely."

"That's good advice, and I also appreciate you giving me that info about GT, Chuck. Thank you," she said, sliding her hand over his on the table and squeezing. "And please, try not to be too jealous. Said with no sarcasm and full seriousness. His Alain Delon looks don't have any effect on me. Not when I have my very own curly-haired, handsome moneybags."

"Talk about my money too much and I'll start getting ideas."

"Oh? What kind of ideas?"

"Expanding the company to make even more money. Gotta keep ya around somehow." She laughed and he put his tongue between his teeth, wrinkling his nose cheekily. "With all these Alain Whoever ManFatales kicking your door in, one of 'em might succeed in sweeping you away from me otherwise."

"You're such an idiot."

"Buuuut you love meeee."

"On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."

Chuck snorted and ate his last couple of fries. "I'm really glad it's Friday, then."

1 note · View note

userseokkie · 5 years

Text

Steve Rogers is a walking contradiction: the anti military soldier

After reading this meta on a gifset about Steve and Tony i got carried away and wrote essentially an essay about the analysis that had been made. and while i agree with the general sentiment of the post, some things didn’t sit right with me. btw i decided to make this my own separate post because this isn’t intended to start an argument or derail the original post, i know it can be annoying for gif makers to have dozens of comments added onto their posts.

(the meta in question)

ok so full disclaimer I’m not American and I’m not white. i just felt like this analysis was really interesting and when I read it I couldn’t stop all these thoughts that formed in my head, next thing I know I had written all of this in like 30 minutes. I’m not trying to argue or start shit, this is my own personal analysis of Steve’s character and why I don’t agree with some things said above.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way: Steve does not trust the US government. at least not blindly. the fact that he’s still the little shit that had a real problem w authority figures is something they touch upon on catfa a lot. he changed on the outside but on the inside he’s still that idiot punk kid and like, I get what the tags above me are saying but also Steve’s arc is more than that? and let’s not forget this stupid movie was written and directed by thanos Joss “I’m the true feminist ally” whedon so I would take this exchange with a grain of salt. I mean this is the movie that gave us “gOllY tHeRe’S OnLy oNe gOd m'Am” and “sOn oF a GuN” Stephen Rogers which is the most ooc thing I’ve seen since endgame’s Steve. Steve is a fucking potty mouth ffs he’s Irish and a soldier, so that doesn’t even make sense. but anyway, my point is something else, nvm this movie’s portrayal of Steve in general.

I guess we could probably argue all day long abt which Steve portrayal is the most accurate one since his character in the MCU is the one that’s suffered the most at the hands of inconsistent characterization, but I prefer thinking he already WAS someone that was well aware of the horrors of war and how unfair it was to recruit people w lies and the promises of education opportunities and loans for the poor to join the army, because he LIVED that he grew up dirt poor and had to see his mom take on three different jobs to support herself and him, so he’d consider this attempt to bring civilians into the military life by preying on their needs disgusting, he’d be fucking seething with anger. and if he had lived through the 60s (which I think it’s better for everyone involved that he didn’t, can u imagine poor guy would’ve died from the disappointment in what his country had become) I highly doubt he would’ve been the bitter WWII vet that defended Vietnam and shit on the protestors……. Steve would support the citizens’ rights to ask for accountability and demand justice!! even the hippie movement I think he would’ve been ok with when he saw that they were advocating FOR PEACE. that’s why he enlisted on the war after all, to bring the fight to an end and to have Bucky come HOME. I think Steve rogers would be all for peace. I mean, civil disobedience and telling the government to shove it? that’s Steve Rogers’ goddamn ethos. he would be all over that shit.

I agree w op’s tags where they say Steve doesn’t represent America, he represents what America wishes it had been. and I think Steve himself would be well aware he’s the anomaly here, the one that should have been America’s highest ideal. and I think that makes Steve very wary of his own image, anything he endorses becomes what America endorses. Steve rogers isn’t important, Captain America is. but I think Steve’s response here has more to do with his coping mechanisms to deal with loss, rather than coming from a place of “oh we’re soldiers, it’s what we do, we die for our country.” while Tony’s response comes from a place of anger (we are NOT soldiers!!! fuck u old man, i never asked for this!!! coulson didn’t ask for this!!!!!) Steve’s reaction comes from the intrinsic nihilism and dadaism product of his own time. it’s not that he’s minimizing Coulson’s death, it’s more that he’s so used to losing people, the thousands he met that died in European soil, the sick and ill from his ma’s work that died everyday, his own father whom he never even met, that his mechanism is to just. shut down. shrug it off a bit, even. people die. every day. “for believing” means for standing for something, because Steve is WELL aware that people that stand for nothing will fall for anything, and standing for something gives counterbalance to the official agenda. in his eyes, Coulson died not because he’s a soldier and winning the war means being prepared to make a few sacrifices. Coulson died because he chose to believe in something that the majority didn’t care about or even actively sought to destroy (the wsc over fury’s shoulder) and he died because he would not back down from the fight. I can do this all day is something Steve feeds off of because he knows that when you stop getting up from the ground, anyone and anything can strike you down.

but on another note, I get that Avengers happens literally 6 fucking days after he woke up from the ice, he probably had no time to catch up on all the atrocities the US had done on his behalf, or rather on what they said he represented, on the ideal he died defending and the US took and twisted and tore apart until it was no longer recognizable. Steve being a week out of the ice is super sad and to me, the biggest crime this movie did was literally brushing off Steve’s trauma, being riddled with PTSD and shocked from waking up seventy years in the future was not even addressed. at all. this could’ve been easily avoided by setting the movie at least a couple of months AFTER he wakes up. but whatever. After learning of all the shit the US has done, I think Steve rogers would be the first to walk out of there and be like “fuck it, I died for this country and you took it and fucked it up and now young people and people who’ve been killed for protesting your shitty ass decisions genuinely believe I would side with the government. they think I’M the stubborn baby boomer who kisses government boots and would approve of the Gulf War or the Vietnam War or the Central American coups or the war on terror or any of the stupid shit you’ve pulled in the 70 years I was gone!!! YOU MADE ME A SYMBOL FOR YOUR BIGOTRY WHAT THE FUCK”. so he obviously needs time to catch up on all of that before realizing how bad they fucked up his memory and how corrupt the system has become. but Steve’s depiction as a boy scout who believes the US can do nothing bad is inherently wrong and something only this one movie tries to do. no other movie featuring Cap tries to drive the point home that Cap is a goodie two shoes who still believes in american exceptionalism.

CATWS was the gold standard because it truly touched upon the cognitive dissonance Steve experiences coming out of a 70 year nap. the loss he experiences not only for being “the man out of time”, but the true man behind the symbol. heavy are the shoulders that carry the world indeed. and he’s been carrying the entire world on his since he decided to become Captain America. I truly believe the tragedy of Steve Rogers comes from the lack of agency he has over the Captain image, one that has been used to prop up political agendas over and over again. of course, he’s the one that decides to be Captain America as much as he is Steve rogers, blurring the lines between the two men. he could’ve retired, he could’ve adopted a new mantle or even go the old reliable route and try to keep a civilian life away from the superhero gig. but he didn’t. even in the comics whenever he tried to do that it didn’t stick for more than a few issues. so, you know in CATWS he truly experiments what it’s like to pull back the curtain and see the wizard behind it, he faces this disenchantment with the institutions that created him, both SHIELD and the US government. this helps pinpoint the moment he grows super distrustful of politics and agendas, because up until this point he’d only been in the battlefield, and he realizes governments cannot be trusted to make the right decision or even act in benefit of their people.

this way, Civil War does make sense when you see how Steve has grown so disappointed with modern politics that he sees the Sokovia accords as one big red flag, and the first step in a direction that only points toward authoritarianism and civil control. this movie deals with many things poorly of course, but one thing that doesn’t feel ooc is Steve telling the UN to fuck off. He wasn’t around to see the formation of the united nations remember? he literally has no background on what collective security and globalized autonomy are. there’s many things that could’ve been different in CW, but Steve was on the “right” side of the conflict for his character. (i’m NOT saying there’s a wrong and a right side on the Civil war dilemma. that whole thing was badly written so let’s just say it made sense in a hypothetical way). supporting the government in any capacity isn’t a part of Steve’s “thing”, but even when/if he sided with the US govt, he’d never endorse a political agenda that he perceives as “wrong”, knowing it’s hypocritical to do so.

he doesn’t think the end justify the means, which is highly different from Tony’s pragmatism. if Steve and Tony represented opposing philosophical movements, Tony would be utilitarianism and Steve would be deontology. this brings the analysis full circle by pointing out that yes, Tony and Steve operate differently in theory, but in practice they both work for the same objective. Tony is the cynic product of his own doing, he understands how war can destroy and he knows the US has a bad track record of owning up to its own shit. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do is in his own hands (and because of his extremist way of thinking, he also equates that with being the only one who can do it and therefore, he must, no matter the personal cost). On the other hand, Steve is the idealist product of other’s people efforts, he understands how sometimes war can be the only way to save what is worth saving, but also how it can corrupt even the noblest of men. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do must be done because other people believe in him, and because by setting the example, others can follow and make the world a better place. (and because of his very stubborn nature, he also equates that with being the ‘tree that must plant itself in the ground and say no, you move’.)

so what I guess I’m trying to say, is that to me at least, saying that Steve Rogers would be in favor of US militarism or that he equates the word “soldier” with hero is a huge disservice to his character. the fact that he’s a fictional character that was first conceived as WWII propaganda is not relevant, because I choose to believe the idea that says fiction stops being the creator’s own the moment it’s out in the world. And Steve Rogers NOW is a different character and serves a different purpose than what he was originally intended to. His entire origin is based on being a soldier, yes, but what makes his character so compelling is the juxtaposition between being a soldier and being essentially opposed to what the US military complex entails. he embodies a lot of american values ofc, like freedom and right of free speech and so, but my take is that he defends this values in a way that is distinctly non American. setting aside discussions of propaganda and the integrity of an art form, i think he’s been written in a way that evokes patriotism without being exclusively american. i mean heck, Steve rogers makes me proud to be from my own country, and inspires me to be better while never reminding me of the fact that he’s from an imperialist super power. Star spangled suit aside, he’s probably a fair enough representation of what one's love for their own country can bring to the surface, no matter which country specifically. i could delve more into that, but this is already getting too long and, since i already mentioned, I’m not from the US and my cultural upbringing is far different from the US. so i’m not sure i could make such a poignant analysis about the military culture and the way it impacts characters such as Steve.

#why tf did i write this #full disclosure i took two adderalls today oop #maybe that's why #steve rogers #marvel meta #mcu #marvel #captain america

20 notes · View notes

azuresquirrel · 6 years

Text

SO. MOULIN ROUGE BOSTON PRE-BROADWAY RUN PREMIERE. This is going to be massively unorganized, as I simply try to remember as much as I can from the show. And folks, this is a lot of show. This post is MASSIVE and needless to say I’ll be spoiling A LOT about this world premiere pre-Broadway run that may or may not have changes made to it.

(before I speak of the show itself, let me say that is was FUCKING CHAOTIC in the Colonial. Literally all seats but TWO were filled in the balcony, and probably the whole theatre, and they did not have enough people working there for this crowd. I didn’t even get a program because they didn’t have enough ushers)

So like the overall take of this is that it is EXCESSIVE and OVERWHELMING. I mean that as a good thing. I of course have a bunch of nitpicks, and they could very well change things for Broadway, but this was essentially a Broadway-ready show that is set to be a crowdpleaser. Somehow they managed to capture the feeling of the movie itself on the stage with the direction and choreography, even with the numerous changes both necessary in terms of restructuring the story for a musical format, and just stuff used to differentiate the stage show. While a few things added I guess were something of an attempt to ‘deepen’ the story, largely they understand what this is – a big old sparking cupcake of musical and theatrical excess and it is goddamn enjoyable for it. It hooked me, it sure hooked the rest of the audience that hooted and hollered and clapped (I have bruises on my hands now).

DESIGNS ARE IMPECCABLE. The sets are ASTOUNDING (I gasped at a scene transition at one point). The scenery is extended outside of the proscenium with the windmill flanking one side and the elephant flanking another. The apron of the stage extended out and surrounded the front audience seats, who were seated at club tables a’la Cabaret or a much smaller scale Great Comet. The costumes are EXCESSIVE and impressive even if they don’t fully match a few of the film’s iconic looks. The lighting design – my god, was the lighting designer on speed?? Or something?? Honestly don’t see this show if you are prone to seizures it is THAT MUCH. Choreography is on goddamn point.

The cast is pretty much Broadway-ready and I hope they don’t replace a single one of them. Aaron Tveit and Karen Olivo are the perfect Broadway-versions of the Ewan McGregor-Nicole Kidman star power of the movie. I don’t know how the fuck Karen does it but she was at a TEN the entire fucking time, just belting every number like her life depended on it, and she really brought a lot of shading to Satine as a woman who has hardened herself to survive (one thing somewhat different from the movie, I guess with Karen not exactly being a youthful ingénue anymore was this idea of this being Satine’s ‘last chance’ but it melded into her arc pretty seamlessly). Aaron by contrast seemed to be holding back a bit/conserving his energy, especially in act one, but he fucking brings it when he needs to and his vocal command of that shitload of music is impressive, not a hint of strain. Christian is somewhat different from the movie version – he’s not British anymore he’s American (from goddamn LIMA, OHIO. GLEE.), and with act two being played for the tragedy he goes rather darker than movie Christian. Instead of a generic writer he is specifically a composer and the writer of love songs, and he’s somewhat less of the pure naïve innocent of McGregor’s Christian, but I thought it worked.

Danny Burstein absolutely nails it as Zidler, perfectly introducing the audience to the show and the tone. ZIdler is explicitly gay now in the stage show and largely it just fits the character that’s already there rather than making him ‘stereotypical’ (or rather not anymoreso than he already is). Honestly this is mostly a great change (I have a slight criticism for a plot point in act two), and it really helps his relationship with Satine and him becoming something less of a controlling sleazeball. This is especially needed because stage Satine’s goal is less to “fly away” and become a real actress, but rather to save the people of the Moulin Rouge, who she regards as a family. Thus Zidler is far less controlling over her, rather they feel much more like peers. Notably (AND A GOOD CHANGE) Zidler does not find out Satine is sick when she’s unconscious and withholds it from her, Zidler finds out she’s sick in act two and immediately tells her it’s consumption (which killed his first love, ANATOLE). Also he does not order her to break Christian’s heart to save him from the Duke’s wrath, that’s a decision Satine makes entirely on her own, so the plot changes to Zidler also strengthens Satine’s character and gives her a lot more agency.

By far the biggest change from the movie is everything about how they play the Duke. The Duke is not a foppish pathetic nebbish of a man who’s clearly no competition for Christian. Played by Tam Mutu, this Duke is sexy, threatening, controlling, and dominating (emphasis intended). Heck we’re introduced to him BEFORE CHRISTIAN (kinda nuts???). The love triangle is very much that, with the Duke being a very real villain who offers Satine everything she wants in terms of money but is also a controlling asshole (and extends that to the Moulin Rouge and the show within a show as well). He is not clueless and bumbling, Satine IS sleeping with him the whole time, and there’s no giant manservant, he makes his violent threats directly and you believe it (however they, WISELY I feel, cut the attempted rape during El Tango Roxanne, which is in the show but VERY recontextualized, even with act two being played more for tragedy it was wise to not go THAT dark with it). It will then not surprise you that one of the big movie numbers that’s cut is “Like a Virgin” as this would not fit this decidedly non-comic version of the Duke.

Sahr Ngaujah plays Lautrec, and he is a REVELATION as I was unfamiliar with him before. He is a FORCE OF NATURE. He is not a little person, nor is that played in this Lautrec (aside from like two lines of the Duke calling him “little man” which honestly read awkwardly). Rather he has a cane and a limp, and there’s now a really strong racial undercurrent to his devotion to Bohemian ideals as he is a Black man. He is charismatic and has a great voice. Since the bohemians in the stage version are really pared down (wisely, conservation of character) to just Lautrec and the Argentinian, Lautrec’s role is beefed up a lot, although it doesn’t always make entire sense. Lautrec is now the director and the book writer for the show-within-a-show, and his bohemian ideals are MUCH stronger as the show-within-a-show is dramatically changed. While there are jokes in act one about him going on about putting ‘proletariat’ ideals in his work, in act two he very explicitly stands against the Duke trying to change the show, so “freedom, beauty, truth and love” feels like it really means something to him rather than in the movie where they just seems a bunch of horny artists. On the stage, Lautrec is an old friend of Satine’s having met her when she was thirteen and dumps a lot of backstory onto Christian for us. He also says he was in love with Satine but never told her. This honestly leads to some character inconsistency – in one scene he’s telling Christian to “not make his mistake” and go for love, and in another he’s telling Christian to “forget about her, she’s made her choice”???? Also did we really need another dude in love with Satine with the central love triangle?

Let’s talk music – a lot of the music from the movie is still in there, though a few notable numbers have been cut, like the aforementioned “Like a Virgin.” They also added A LOT MORE MUSIC, including into mashups with other existing songs. MOST of these slot in amazingly into great numbers. In my mind there are two new numbers that really don’t live up to what they are replacing, but generally the new music sounds GREAT. Orchestrations and ensemble vocal arrangements are STUNNING on a few numbers, particularly the act two opener. There is, however, a SLIGHT tonal problem with some of the new music and the audience. A lot of new songs provoked laughter from the audience as they recognized them. For most songs this was not a problem, especially in the frothy frivolity of act one, but for the more dramatic numbers is kind of was (especially, again, in tragic act two). Please know that I will SO be getting the inevitable cast recording because everyone’s voices on these numbers are amazing.

NOW FOR THE NITTY-GRITTY. So there was ZERO pre-show announcement because THE SHOW TRANSITIONED INTO STARTING NEAR-SEEMLESSLY. About ten minutes before “start” actors slowly came onto stage, dancing, cavorting, entertaining the audience. Two of the very attractive women did a SWORD-SWALLOWING ACT right in front of the big Moulin Rouge sign. Then Christian comes onstage, observing off to the side, then hits the lights (there was a massive prop switch on one side of the stage that was used throughout the show for ‘the lights’), so the show can “start.” It begins right at the Moulin Rouge with “Lady Marmalade,” then Zidler’s entrance truly playing the crowd, including setting off THE CONFETTI CANON THAT IS CONCEALED IN HIS CANE, then into the Can-Can. Then the Duke enters with some contemporary song that honestly I SHOULD know but do not, and he sits in the booth on stage right. Then Christian enters with Lautrec and the Argentinian and they seat on stage left (the three of them also harmonize A BUNCH throughout the show and it sounds great).

It is only when Zidler begins to introduce Satine that the spotlight hits Christian and he begins “narrating” the story about the woman he loved. Christian has no typewriter like in the movie. Essentially what I got from the finale is that the show itself is him telling the story? He is a songwriter now after all? Anyway, at that point it transitions back in time to earlier that day when he arrives in Paris. This was the set change that floored me, immediately the stage transforms from the opulent Moulin Rouge to the streets on Montmarte in PERFECT GREYSCALE (one of the smaller but stunning pieces of stagecraft in the show is when Christian sings “the hills are alive with the sound of music” – when the spotlight hits him the backdrop goes from greyscale to full color in the light, then back again). So he meets up with Lautrec and the Argentinian, and they hit it off together to “Royals” (THIS ACTUALLY WORKS ASTOUNDINGLY WELL). They quickly hatch the scheme to pitch the show (which Lautrec wants to name “Bohemian Rhapsody”) to Satine, and we return back to the scene we left in the Moulin Rouge for Satine’s entrance.

SHE ENTERS DOWN FROM THE SWING. In a red feathered dress that later does an amazing quick change/reveal to a black diamond-studded lingerie number (Karen Olivo spends A LOT of this musical in fancy lingerie). On the swing she sings bits of “Diamonds are Forever” and then it goes into “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.” For the “Material Girl” bit the female ensemble comes out in matching top hats that they all take off to reveal Madonna wigs. Then we have “Single Ladies” mashed up into it. Satine does not get back onto the swing to fall off dramatically, she simply has a moment in the song where she nearly faints, but she recovers to dance on top of a giant diamond platform.

Then her and Zidler have the mix-up of who is the Duke while the dancers dance to “Rhythm of the Night”, and then when Satine and Christian meet and dance it is set to a mashup of “Shut Up and Dance With Me” and “Raise Your Glass” (MUCH LIKE ROYALS, THIS SHOULDN’T WORK, AND YET IT ABSOLUTELY DOES???). Lautrec and the Argentinian also distract Zidler with some song and I think “We Are Young” is somewhere in all of this as well (HONESTLY I DO NOT REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE NEW SONG BECAUSE THERE WAS *A LOT* OF MUSIC IN THIS SHOW, “WE ARE YOUNG” WAS IN THERE AT SOME POINT).

Afterwards we get a backstage scene of Satine talking with Zidler and the main “Lady Marmalade” girls talking about needing the Duke’s money in order for the Moulin Rouge to survive and keep everyone off the streets. So here Satine’s motivation is much less “become a real actress and escape the Moulin Rouge” but instead “the people of Moulin Rouge are my family and I need to singlehandedly keep this place going.” Satine KNOWS she’s sick and is keeping it from everyone/doesn’t think it’s that big a deal.

-Now I should mention here as a slight tangent that one of the Lady Marmalade girls is um, well, she’s played as a transwoman. Mmm. I have. Thoughts. On this. For one thing, I can’t tell you the gender identity of the performer as I did not get a playbill. For another thing, while yes most of the characters are sex workers, and yes I appreciate putting a wider display of gender and sexuality onstage (which only fits the world of early-20th-century artist-bohemian Paris), do we really need more of the hoary old trope of the sexworker transwoman? It’s a small part of the show but still. CONCERN over that choice.

So obviously we don’t have “One Day I’ll Fly Away.” Instead we have . . . “Firework.” Number I don’t feel entirely works number 1. Now Karen SELLS THE GODDAMN SHIT out of it, but like. “Firework.” Not as a good of a number as “One Day I’ll Fly Away.” Also even though they obviously avoid the line about feeling “like a plastic bag” they do keep the line about FOURTH OF JULY in Paris, France. Even with Moulin Rouge being as over-the-top and fantastical as it is, boy does that stick out as WEIRD.

Then we go into the elephant set (it’s a garish room surrounded by an elephant proscenium, there are so many layers to this set), and “Your Song” remains in its glory, although we do not do the ‘dancing in the stars’ bit (NOT YET).

Now “Spectacular, Spectacular” is dramatically rewritten to reflect the show-within-a-show being VERY different as it is no longer set in India. Instead, Lautrec is playing into the actual revolutionary theatre style of the early 20th century of extreme realism (HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE I APPRECIATE THIS MUCH MORE THAN MOST AS A FORMER THEATRE SCHOLAR). Thus the play more resembles the actual La Boheme, or the “social dramas” of the time which is WHAT PARISIAN BOHEMIANS WOULD BE WRITING AND PERFORMING – Lautrec says plainly in act two that he wants to ‘hold up a mirror to Paris.’ So the show-within-a-show is set in Paris and is about the love triangle between a prostitute, a romantic sailor, and a rich gangster. Largely I think it’s a good thing to steer the hell away from the massive cultural appropriation of the movie’s Indian version, although this dramatically changes the climax of the show, as it now becomes a more intimate scene between Christian and Satine than the triumphant LOVE ABOVE ALL ELSE in the movie (more on that later). And my one BIG costume regret is that Satine is then in a dingy black dress for the climax (which is actually a plot point in act two with the Duke arguing against this), rather than the beautiful iconic white gown from the movie. Ah well.

So after Satine gets everyone out of the room but the Duke, they actually DO THE DO, after the Duke sings a mashup of “Sympathy for the Devil” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

After this we get a scene between Lautrec and Christian on the street writing the show, where Lautrec gives his and Satine’s backstory to Christian and sings “Nature Boy” gorgeously, eventually convincing Christian to go after her. The next scene is the Duke “negotiating” with Zidler, with Zidler’s male lover in there at the start (put a pin in that, we’re coming back to that in act two). By that I mean the Duke taking ownership of literally everything and agreeing to produce Lautrec’s show simply as “an amusement.”

We then go back to the elephant, and Christian is persuading Satine to have an affair with him behind the Duke’s back, and we have a revamped “Elephant Love Medley” with WAY MORE SONGS IN IT including “Take on Me”, “What’s Love Got to Do With It”, “Don’t Speak” and like LOTS MORE I AM PROBABLY FORGETTING. This morphs into the giant act one ender as HERE, once we hit “heroes” the stage transforms into the Paris skyline with all the stars out and the dancers wheel on the Eiffel Tower for Christian and Satine to dance on and EVERY SINGLE LIGHT IN THE THEATRE IS PROJECTING STARS and they quick-change into their starry blue costumes IT WAS ALL VERY OPULENT AND ROMANTIC.

So act one is very much a frothy delight of THEATRE!!!! MUSIC!!! LOVE!!!! BIG OLD PRODUCTION NUMBERS!!! And not to say that act two lacks those things but there is a NOTABLE tonal shift in act two to THE TRAGEDY of it all.

So act two opens with Christian narrating for the audience to think back to their first love affair, so that they can understand how he is driven to madness. He also introduces the “other” backstage love affair with the Argentinian and Nini, who are dancing erotically on the stage before rehearsal for the show starts. We begin the NUTSO act two opening number, starting as a duet of the two of them on motherfucking “Bad Romance.” It is AMAZING, particularly in the Argentinian’s growl. Then the other dancers enter, it becomes a group number which is then mashed up into “TOXIC” and “SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS” and eventually Christian and Satine join in with the whole group. The choreography for this whole number is NUTS the vocal arrangement OFF THE HOOK and it absolutely stopped the show.

So then we have rehearsals, including some prop comedy with Zidler that absolutely killed, and in a welcome change, instead of Nini divulging the affair to the Duke like in the movie (where it seemingly came out of nowhere), she instead WARNS Satine that the Duke is a dangerous man to mess with, telling about how another woman who cheated him ended up with her lover murdered in the river and the woman disfigured (this adds the legitimate threat to Christian and motivates Satine on her own). And the Duke gets the picture pretty clearly when Christian pulls the whole “SHE DOESN’T LOVE YOU” line in the rehearsal.

So after rehearsal goes shitty and Satine is conflicted about what to do with these two men, we get a scene of Zidler and the Lady Marmalade girls talking about how things are looking dire for the theatre. So essentially replacing “The Show Must Go On” from the movie we instead have Florence + the Machine’s “Shake It Off.” Number I have a problem with number two. Now this is a song that on its own I LOVE. But it honestly feels . . . out of place and unneeded. Again, the cast gives it their all but like . . . it just doesn’t fit in the way that “The Show Must Go On” did. I mean, I would see this as the number most likely to be cut or changed for Broadway, but honestly who the fuck knows.

The next scene is Satine going to Christian’s apartment. Here we have a full duet of “Come What May” (which is not a song in the show-within-a-show but just then straight-up singing about their love for each other).

Then the next scene is waaaaaay new as we have Satine with the Duke on a rich-ass boulevard with everyone in these extravagant rich-ass costumes that looks like Sunday in the Park with George was vomited on by Revolutionary Girl Utena and pastels (I’ll be real, the Duke is in the lavender suit with giant coat and tophat and I fucking wanted to wear the entire thing). The Duke shows Satine a house that he has bought for her and tells her all of the things he will provide for her – if she gives him “everything” including her heart, and she stops performing shortly after the show opens, as having his mistress parade herself onstage would be unbecoming to a man of his status. Satine, in her Sunday best but clearly on as “in fashion” as everyone else onstage, points out she doesn’t really fit his status. She then gets this . . . oddly sadomasochistic (?) makeover with the Duke singing a BIZARRE version of Rihanna’s “Only Girl in the World” (it does work, but I think it is purposefully bizarre in the scene) and Satine sings a dark reprise of “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” while she is put into this Eliza Dolittle monstrosity.

With another rehearsal scene and Lautrec talking back to the Duke and Christian ready to lose his shit over the Duke treating Satine, and everyone else, as his possession, we then transition to Christian’s apartment the night before the show. He’s going mad with jealousy, threatening to kill himself, and the Argentinian and Lautrec are trying to talk him down. Eventually they tell him he needs to purge himself of Satine with absinthe. They take absinthe while singing Sia’s “Chandeleer” (their three-part harmony on this is STUNNING) and as Christian goes into a haze he hallucinates first Satine as the green fairy (COMING DOWN ON THE SWING AGAIN) and then eventually a whole sequence of different green fairies, dancing with men. Still enraged and jealous, Christian takes to the streets.

EL TANGO ROXANNE. It is still here but it is MASSIVELY recontextualized. It’s a much less literal number now, no longer set in the Moulin Rouge, almost more of a dream ballet (??) as Christian wanders the streets. We being with ZIDLER being the one giving the opening speech explaining the dance while the Argentinian and Nini do the dance to the side. Then the lights go out and come back on with the spotlight on Christian center stage and with tango couples around him. It begins with him singing the “his eyes upon your hand” bridge, and then the actual Roxanne part is sung BY CHRISTIAN. I was massively thrown off by this at first, I was looking forward to hearing this Argentinian sing this version, but it fits more with Christian here as motivating his actions rather than as the beset-upon innocent, and Tveit fucking GIVE S IT HIS ALL. We also have Christian seeing a vision of Satine and you know the red dress she’s wearing in all the promo pics? She’s wearing it here.

So then the scene in the Duke’s tower is hugely different from the movie. At the start Satine enters the room and the Duke is talking with the man who we saw before as Zidler’s lover. Apparently the Duke has been paying him to be “his eyes” at the Moulin Rouge (so my pin – the evil gay? C’mon guys. At least Zidler’s sexuality largely isn’t demonized but like c’mon), so he is VERY aware of Satine and Christian’s extracurricular activities. He then gives Satine the ultimatum – be mine or Christian will end up a corpse with his throat slit ear to ear. Christian, drunk and high, enters and sadly attempts to fight the Duke and professes his love for Satine. Satine coldly turns him down to save his life and breaks down crying when the men leave.

We now have Christian broken and alone on the street and he begins singing “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkely, which then transitions into “Rolling in the Deep” (this was probably the most awkward part of the show where the audience laughed at recognizing a song). “Rolling” continues on to everyone getting ready for the show at the Moulin Rouge, to Satine singing as well, then we see Christian off to the side LOADING A GUN, and the number climaxes with Christian and Satine singing on either side with the dancers in the middle performing the start of the show within a show.

Then we have the BIG CLIMAX of the show with the show-within-a-show, which is now a much darker affair since it is not a glorious wedding in ~exotic India~. Christian crashes the scene, coming up from the actual theatre’s aisles as we are now fully the audience of the Moulin Rouge. Here Christian doesn’t slutshame Satine and claim to “pay his whore” instead he pulls out the loaded gun (as a part of the written scene) but then turns into to his own chest.

To bring him back with the confession of true love, Satine sings “Your Song.” Then after their big kiss Satine VERY QUICKLY falls into his arms and starts dying (hence how it’s less of a triumph into eventually tragedy, but rather a personal scene with Christian and Satine that takes a VERY QUICK TURN). And after asking Christian to “tell her story” Satine of course dies in his arms.

After this, Christian gives a very brief epilogue explaining how he started writing again, and now he starts to sing “Come What May”, eventually joined by everyone else in the Moulin Rouge, sans the dead Satine. They keep these poses after blackout for the first round of applause.

THEN the curtain call asks you to forget about all that tragedy and SING AND CLAP A FUCKLOAD with a giant dance number/singalong of Lady Marmalade, the Can Can, and EVEN “HEY YA.” I should note that during this part the male ensemble comes out in the iconic movie look of the tuxedo on top and tutu and tights on the bottom. At one point the choreo has the female ensemble riding these men, and rest assured I yelled “IT’S EQUALITY.” THEN after that was the full cast bows, with Karen and Aaron last and together and then the men pull out cane which are ALL confetti canons that shoot out confetti and streamers so high it almost reached the balcony.

SO THERE IS THE EXPERIENCE OF SEEING “MOULIN ROUGE” ONSTAGE. It is indeed a RAVISHMENT OF THE SENSES and honestly there were probably a lot of bits of new music in there that I forgot, but folks, it looks great, it sounds great, the cast is phenominal, IT IS INDEED, EVERYTHING.

#Moulin Rouge #Moulin Rouge musical #musicals #theatre

169 notes · View notes

iamtaekooked · 6 years

Text

Chasing Jeon || jjk || 1

Summary:

You are the definition of a good girl. You obey your strict parents, get good grades, say your grace, and keep your head down. He’s got a don’t-give-a-damn-attitude, he cant talk straight, he is intimidating, and a man of few words. What happens when a sudden meeting at a club leads to a string of events that causes you both to be tangled up? Who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst ft a tsundere! jungkook (just a tiny bit)

Word count : 5.0k

A/N: I am trash for this man. I can't help it. You knew this was going to happen. So, please enjoy this trash fic which puts my trash ass for tsundere Jeongguk on display. Who wouldn’t love angry-young-man Jeongguk?

m.list

The day at college went by a blur and you didn’t pay attention to a single word. The same happened in the last block when you found yourself sitting in calculus class with the professor rambling on about some equation. If only equations could solve all your life’s problems you would have listened. But they cannot. Equations, and formula’s couldn’t fix the monotonous life you lived, they couldn’t fix the boring ins and outs of daily life that had finally taken a toll on you, and neither could they satisfy the weird craving for different that suddenly held your mind in a shackle.

The honest truth was you were tired of being tied down, and having to be obedient all the time. It felt like being a slave in your own life, with no agency or freedom. Your parents had high expectations so your whole life revolved around books, and school. Like other kids your age you had never been to a party, never smoked, or drank, or had any hot boyfriends to gush about.

Simply put in other words you were the epitome of a good girl who got the good grades, said her prayers, and lived life the way parents wanted her to. But that was not enough anymore. You wanted something different, something exciting. To save you, or maybe to ruin you because maybe your saving grace lied in being destroyed.

And so you set out on the search for something exciting, something unfamiliar, which in your case happened to be a club.Even though you wanted to do something different, a club wasn't on the list. The whole idea made you nervous You looked at your friends with a doe-eyed, mildly shocked expression as they mentioned it as the beginning point of your introduction to the “adult world”. Although you were just as much of an adult as them.

“Come on, live a little will you?” Taehyung propped his feet on cafeteria table, leaning back in his chair.

“He’s right you know. Get out of your world for once, and experience being a teenager” Hyeri contributed to the less than desired conversation, from next to you.

“I agree” Lucas joined in as well, and you shot him as dirty of a look you could muster but as usual he shrugged.

“I know you don’t want to honey, but seriously let loose for once. Besides I won’t leave you side for one second” Sora, the one person in the group you felt closest to, smiled brightly at you.

You looked around at you friends, all of whom were looking at you in anticipation. The hopeful looks on their faces, was enough to make you want to give in. So with a groan you placed your head on the table and they all erupted in cheers and Lucas patted you on the back as a congratulatory gesture.

“This is going to be your adventure” Taehyung enthusiastically sang and everyone erupted in laughter, except for you

“What about my parents?” Your head shot up from the table and you looked at them in panic, as you suddenly remembered your parents aren’t as lenient as you would like them to be.

You couldn’t understand why this group of people chose to keep you with themselves when you were so different from them.

“You are staying over at my place tonight to work on that project remember?” Sora winked at you.

It took you a moment to realize what she was implying but you hesitantly nodded in agreement. Lying wasn’t an easy thing to do for you. You were the worst liar possible and that is what made your friends stick by you because they knew you were loyal. They knew they could rely on you and vice versa you could always count on them to show you the ropes of life. You were the baby of the group after all.

“Okay so, its decided. We’re meeting at 7 pm at Orion” Taehyung declared and everyone nodded. He got up from his seat as he had his last lecture of the day to attend. Mid way he turned around to face you “Y/n, baby, please wear something nice. The goal is to get laid”

“What?! Thats gross” You shrieked and it elicited laughs and chuckles from everyone.

“Jesus will be proud of you” he winked and left you to ponder his horrifying statement.

Flashes of silver and blue shot from the disco lights all around you. The pounding music, the pungent smell of smoke was beginning to make your head hurt. Looking around, there was sea of people yet you felt completely alone; even with your friends there with you. As your eyes scanned the scene, they stopped at a particularly handsome man, standing in the corner of the club, with a girl attached to his neck. He didn’t look like he cared much for her, since he looked completely disinterested in what she was doing, and continued on smoking.

He was dressed in all black from his shirt to his boots. The hazelnut-brown hair were parted slightly lateral to the middle of his forehead, his soft locks falling on either side. His jawline was strong and sharp, and his eyes were deep and intense. You realized he had caught you staring at him and quickly looked away. But two seconds later when you looked back, he was still staring at you, taking another long drawl from his cigarette. Momentarily, the smoke obscured your view of him but when it cleared you discovered that he was by himself, the girl nowhere in sight.

You knew he was dangerous territory, but you were drawn to him. You had never laid eyes on someone as beautiful as him. Even your long time crush on Chris Hemsworth seemed like child’s play compared to the tickling feeling he provoked in your stomach with his piercing gaze. His scrutinizing stare made your stomach bundle in knots and nervous energy flowed through your entire body in the form of hot, flushed cheeks. It raged on in your bones in the form of a longing ache, and it spun in your head making you feel lightheaded. He was like a walking, breathing intoxication.

You tore gaze away from the alluring, mysterious stranger and onto Sora who had been rambling on about something you had stopped paying attention to a long time ago. She turned towards you with a knowing smile on her face.

“He’s been looking at you since we entered” she leaned in to your ear and practically yelled over the loud music. You flinched away from her, covering your possibly deaf ear.

Your eyes hesitatingly flickered to the man in question and yet again his eyes were on you. “He’s not my type” you yelled back to Sora, heart hammering in your chest at the straight lie you told her. Because he was exactly your type.

“Oh honey, you know you can’t lie, so why bother” she winked at you “Besides he’s coming this way” she threw a smirk at you, and her words had you frozen in the spot.

You couldn’t move, you couldn’t even think. You recalled his dark eyes on you and it was enough to make beads of sweat roll down your forehead, and enough to make your knees tremble.

“What am I supposed to say to him?” voicing your thoughts aloud, you gulped. “What do I do?” you looked at Sora and the rest of your friends in absolute panic.

“Just be yourself” and that was the shittiest piece of advice someone had ever given you. Because its never just easy to be yourself, especially not in front of a handsome, god-like creature like him.

Your heart sank to the depths of darkness when your friends all decided to vacate the booth; the smirks and knowing smiles on their faces giving away their amusement. An expression of absolute betrayal crossed your face.

“Sora, you said you wont leave my side for one second” you whined, and held onto her wrist in a desperate attempt to save yourself from the handsome stranger who was apparently still approaching you.

“I said for one second. I never said I wouldn’t leave you for two seconds or even a minute” she winked at you and gently uncurled your fingers from her wrist.

Wow what a- female dog- because bitch is too much of a mean word

You watched in panic as they all left one by one, leaving you alone to deal with him. To say the your were feeling anxious was an understatement. Even if you were told you failed an exam you wouldn’t be this scared. Even if you were expelled from college you wouldn’t be so damn scared out of your wits. Even if-

Your thoughts were put on hold by the sexy stranger taking a seat in the booth, next to you. You swallowed hard, although your mouth had gone completely dry. You still hadn’t moved from your stiff position, and it seemed as if you probably wouldn’t for the next while. Your hands fidgeted in your lap and the air of awkwardness that suddenly fell over you was more than suffocating.

He didn’t acknowledge you even as he settled next to you. His eyes scanned the club, the cigarette dangling from his lips lazily. You glanced up at him despite the nervousness coursing through your body. But you were quick to look away because he had suddenly turned his attention towards you , as if bored by all that he was seeing. Your breathing increased, chest rising and falling rapidly, heartbeat hammering in your ears.

“Not your scene?” His sudden question caught you off guard as he turned his head towards you, arms sprawling the back of the booth.

“Uhm.. no. Not really” your eyes remained on your lap as you answered.

“What?” For some reason his voice sounded closer to your ear than before, and sure enough when you looked up, he was literally leaning in towards you, speaking in your ear.

The first thing that caught you off guard was his closeness. The second thing was the way his breath tickled your ear, and the third was the scent of his cologne that surprisingly was still very strong despite his smoking. Your words got stuck in your throat refusing to come out again.

Instead you settled for shaking your head at him, because that ought to do the trick. Or at least you hoped, but the stranger had taken it upon himself to shift closer to you, although not necessarily leaning into your ear. You didn’t really think you were going to get out of it alive given that your heart threatened to beat out of your damn body at his closeness. It wasn’t as close- it was still a respectful distance- but to you it felt very intimate. You shook your head at yourself for acting so pathetic around a guy.

Relax, he is a human being like any other human being-

No. No he isn’t. He is sex on legs- Hyeri’s voice drifted through your head

Your own thoughts surprised you so you shook your head vigorously to drive them away. The man next to you was looking at you with mild curiosity and interest. He blew a puff of smoke your way and you had to hold the cough back.

“Do you usually go by a name or is that not your scene either?” the unsuspecting dry humour surprised you as your head shot in his direction.

“Uh- ____” you said as loud as you could because you really did not want him leaning into you again or your heart might just stop beating.

“Hmm” he said pointedly, but a smirk lifted up at the corner of his lips.

You weren’t sure if you should ask him his name, or not. But common sense dictated that, as a small gesture of basic decency you should.

“How about you?” you glanced at him and for a few seconds he was silent. He studied your face before replying

“Jeongguk. Or just call me Jeon” he fell quiet after the very brief introduction

A small stretch of silence fell between you. You knew you should ask him something, but you didn’t want to come off across as desperate, or annoying. So you kept your mouth closed and just sat next to him, observing people around you. Or rather trying to because your attention was definitely still stolen by Jeon- thats what you decided to call him because it was easier.

But then for a moment your attention was caught by another very handsome stranger, who also happened to be walking in your direction. He had ashen blonde hair, and he was sporting a mullet, but it wasn’t the kind you saw in 80’s movies. He pulled it off well, really well in fact. As he approached you, you took in his appearance and indeed the man was tall and handsome. But maybe not as much as the one sitting next to you.

He stopped in front of you, extending a hand “would you like to dance?”

Your eyes widened at his question, and sure enough Jeongguk who previously hadn’t been paying attention to you was now looking between you and the stranger.

Your eyes flickered to his hand and then to his face as you tried to determine what to say. You were torn between yes and no, because for one you didn’t know how to dance and second you weren’t sure you could handle the man in front of you. For some odd reason you looked at Jeon who gave the guy a once over before focusing his attention back to the surroundings. He didn’t seem to care, which disappointed you a little bit.

You looked back at the man in front of you and decided you might as well be nice and accept his offer. So you slid your hand in his. He led you to the dance floor where the music was so loud that it rang in your ears. You could feel the vibrations running through your body. You were so caught up in the loudness of the music that you were taken aback when the man flipped your around in his arms, making you face him. His hands settled on your hips. The sensation was uncomfortable to say the least because you weren’t exactly used to being groped by strangers.

Then your gaze drifted to Jeongguk who was sitting in the booth and observing you. A brief moment of eye contact later he stood up, throwing the butt of his cigarette into the cigarette bowl. Your heart sank as you watched him take long strides and disappear behind a crowd of people.

The stranger hooked a finger under your chin to focus your attention back to him. You passed him a small smile, despite the anxiety creeping inside your chest, making it hard to breathe.

“Where are you looking baby girl?” You tried hard not to wince at his choice of words but the discomfort was clearly visible in your contorted facial expression.

You tried looking for your friends- Hyeri, Tae, Lucas, or Sora- but not of one of them was in sight anywhere near you. Traitors.

His hands were reaching a dangerous territory and you placed your palms against his chest to push him off, but he was far too strong.

“Hey baby” you heard a whisper in your ear and a hand snaking around your torso, pulling you away from the guy and into a firm chest.

The smell of musk filled with hints of orange hit you, and instantly you knew it was him. He turned you around in his arms, to make you face him. His eyes were gentle and soft as he spoke “Is he bothering you?”

It made you week in the knees, but thankfully you were secure in his arms as he gripped your waist. You were grateful for the loud music otherwise he would have heard you gasp. You shook your head, but he knew better. Puling you beside him, with a hand holding your wrist he spoke to the guy “She’s with me”.

Looking at the guy mockingly, he placed a kiss on your cheek. Your heart leapt inside your chest for a second. Or maybe even longer than a second but you didn’t care because his touch was absolutely maddening.

The guy fumed and uttered some very colourful words at you both before stomping off the dance floor. Then in an instant he let go of you and the warmth coursing through your veins was replaced by something cold and longing.

“Thank you” you yelled over the loud music but he strained his ear in your direction.

“I said thank you for helping me out” you yelled once more.

He nodded curtly, and without a word turned back around and left you by yourself on the dance floor. Your jaw dropped because you couldn’t figure just who he was. Was he a nice guy or was he the ‘something different’ you had been looking for?

Shaking your head at yourself, you decided it would be best to look for your friends. You walked around the whole club, pushing through intoxicated, putrid smelling bodies to find them. As expected none of them were conscious. You spotted Taehyung in one of the booth’s half conscious.

“Y/N” he mumbled and took a hold of your wrist

“Alright we’re getting you home” you draped his arm over your shoulder and supported him. But boy was it a workout in heels.

Once you had all your friends together in once place, you called a cab for them. One of the bouncers was kind enough to help you get them into the taxi.

“Thank you” you smiled warmly at the tall man and he nodded at you, reciprocating your smile. “You be careful miss”

You gave the taxi driver the address to Taehyung’s apartment. It was spacious and big so the four of them could spend the night there. You squished yourself in the backseat and Hyeri snuggled up to you in her drunken state.

You and the taxi driver hauled the guys up to the apartment which happened to be at the top of floor of the building. After everyone was safe and sound in Taehyung’s apartment you took Hyeri and Sora into the guest bedroom. Taking their shoes off you draped them with the blanket.

Then with much difficulty you took Tae first and then Lucas into his room and took their shoes and socks off, and covered them with the duvet as well. Proceeding into the kitchen you filled four glasses of water and grabbed some ibuprofen from one of the kitchen cabinets and put them respectively into each room. Because they were going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.

Shutting the door you made your way outside but you had no way of getting yourself home. Even the taxi driver had left and the buses were on strike.

After about 5 minutes of worrying about it, you facepalmed yourself because you wouldn’t be going home anyway, since you had told your parents you were at Sora’s. But the problem was you had left your casual clothes at her place and her parents weren’t home. You couldn’t go home the next day wearing your clothes because your parents would find out and nothing at Taehyung’s would fit you. Besides it would be weird going home in the morning and having to explain to your parents why you were wearing a guy’s clothes.

Your attention was drawn by a motorcycle zooming past you and towards the building parking lot. Reckless drivers really got on your nerves because this guy could have easily skidded and taken you along with him. You turned around to give him a piece of your mind but froze in your spot when Jeongguk’s face emerged from behind the helmet. He had stopped mid way and turned around to look at you.

“You again” he turned the bike around, and stopped next to you. You turned towards him.

“Uh- yea. Hi” you tucked your hair behind your ear, shifting awkwardly on your feet.

He fell silent as he just looked at you, eyeing you up and down once more. You suddenly felt very self-conscious and heat rose to your cheeks. It made you feel more uncomfortable, a lot more than you would have liked.

“D- do you live here?” you questioned timidly, unsure of whether it is too personal to ask. But you had to say something, otherwise you would die of awkwardness.

“Why, you wanna come up?” Your head shot up at him, eyes wide and jaw agape. You watched a cocky smirk make an appearance on his lips.

Quickly averting your gaze to the ground the words left your mouth in a less than graceful fashion.

“No! I- I just- you know asked because you were here and I just wondered if you lived here or.. maybe not. I was just asking for conversation sa-” you faltered when you realized it was awfully silent and for a moment you wondered if he had left, much like he did at the club. So, you looked up and to your relief he was still standing there, straddling his motorcycle. His arms were folded in front of him and mildly amused expression flashed across his face.

“Yeah. I live here” his words were concise and pointed, voice devoid if any expression. It was as if he was a robot.

“Cool” you mused, and nodded your head.

Another stretch of silence spread and you wondered why you even ran into this guy. Then you remembered you couldn’t thank him properly before.

“I just wanted to thank you again for helping me earlier at the club” you smiled at him slightly but as usual his face was devoid of any expression. So unreadable.

“Do you usually like walking around aimlessly at night?” his question caught you off guard, and you realized that this guy could never talk straight. It took you a moment before you figured out he was asking if you lived in the building. A normal person would have just asked that, but he definitely wasn’t like anyone else you knew.

“Oh- no, my friend lives in the building. They were all drunk so I brought them here” you paused “and now I am stuck” you mumbled the last part, averting your gaze from him to the ground.

“Stuck?” he raised a curious eyebrow at you.

“Yeeaah…” you dragged the word “I am in a bit of a situation right now” a nervous chuckle escaped past your lips. Your gaze was still affixed to the ground

“How are you getting home?” His words were pointed and sharp

“Well I cant because I sort of li- ” you stopped mid-sentence because it was weird spilling your guts to a stranger you didn’t even know. “You know what its okay. I’ll figure it out. Thank you again” you smiled up at him and began walking in the opposite direction to get to Sora’s place because that was the only way you could go home in the morning.

You sort of hoped he would follow you, or ask you what you were going to do but you doubted that would happen. He didn’t exactly seem like the kind of benevolent person who would go out of his way to offer you a ride. But then he did help you at the club so who knows?

You were rounding the corner of the building when suddenly the bike stopped next to you.

“Get on” his deep voice reached your ears and you looked up to find him motioning with his head to the back seat of the motorcycle.

“No- its really okay-”

You were cut off by his irritated sigh. He surveyed the area around you before focusing his attention back to you. You looked around in confusion as well, trying to figure what it was he was looking for.

“Get on. I am not gonna say it again”

“But-” your protests were halted by the icy glare he was throwing at you

You bit your lip partly in hesitation and partly in indecision. You looked back up at the man and the serious look on his face was enough to prompt you to accept his offer. You hesitantly took a seat behind him, holding onto the back of the seat.

Jeongguk pursed his lips and sighed heavily. “You might wanna hold on.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and you reached out for his waist slowly, almost hesitantly. But suddenly the bike sped up to a start causing you to jerk forwards, arms automatically securing around him. Your breath hitched in your throat at the sudden contact. You could feel his firm muscles beneath the shirt which obviously didn’t help the situation.

The wind whipped your hair as he shot through the streets, zooming past the cars, wiggling in between them. It felt like freedom as your surroundings passed by, and the wind howled in your ears. You let go of him and spread your arms out wide and closed your eyes to feel the cool air soothing your warm face. But the feeling didn’t last long as he sped up more causing a jerking motion and your hands settled on his shoulders.

“Where is your house?” he asked

“I am not going to my house. Take me to my friend’s” you replied

He looked over his shoulder and you could tell he was puzzled because you could see the creases on his forehead from the side.

“Long story” your abrupt response was enough to make him turn around and focus his attention on the road again.

You arrived at Sora’s house but you had no way of going inside since you didn’t have a key and her parents weren’t even home. Your clothes were in her room which happened to be on the second storey of the house. You looked at her house trying to think of a way to get your clothes because otherwise you were screwed and your parents would ask you a million questions, in the morning.

“Are we waiting for Christmas?” Jeongguk’s voice drew you out of your thoughts.

“There is.. a tiny problem” you said timidly

He looked over his shoulder again “What now?” he paused “and can you get off and face me so we can talk like normal people”

You realized he must have been having a hard time turning back around every single time.

You lifted a leg and got off the backseat. Once you were in front of him you continued “Her parents arent home and well my clothes are in her room and I don’t have the keys…. obviously…” you looked away from him sheepishly.

Jeongguk raised both eyebrows at you in question “Are you fucking serious?”

You sighed through your nostrils as you looked at him pleadingly “Yeah…  “ you bit your lip in nervousness as he glared at you. “I wouldn’t ask you but there is a pipe outside that goes up to her room…”

It was a good thing she never locked her window. She should but it was coming in handy for once.

“No fucking way” he deadpanned, tongue sticking in his cheek as he stared at you in disbelief

“Its okay, I’ll manage” you shook your head at him before proceeding towards the front lawn.

Jeongguk watched you struggle from his spot to climb up in the dress.It was making nearly impossible for you to get up. You were trying but it was way too tight for you to have any free leg movement. You stood beneath Sora’s window, finger on lips in concentration as you tried to determine another way.

“I must have lost my fucking mind” your focus reverted to the approaching Jeongguk who shoved his helmet at you harshly while walking by. You looked down at the black helmet in your hand in confusion.

Where did this come from?

You focused your attention back to Jeongguk. In one swift move he climbed on the pipe and he was at Sora’s window in no time. He turned back to look down at you “What am I supposed to be looking for?” the irritation in his voice was clear.

“Uh- its a black backpack on the bed” you tried not to smile but it was hard given that he was helping you even when he didn’t have to. It was sweet of him.

Jeongguk climbed through the window and he was quick to spot the bag. He gently lowered himself down from the window sill “what the fuck am I doing?” He sighed in disbelief as he grabbed your bag.

He climbed down the pipe and jumped with ease onto the ground. He ripped the helmet from your hands and shoved the bag in its place. Then without a word he walked towards his bike.

“Uh- J-Jeon” you called out and he stopped mid-way.

“What!?” He turned around to find you looking at him with that most pitiful face he had seen on anyone.

“You uh- forgot to uh- to close the window” you bit your lipas you watched his expression turn sour

“Fucking hell” his nostrils flared as he looked at you and back at the window.

Saviour fucking complex

“Please” you made the best puppy face you could muster.

With an annoyed grunt, he stormed towards the pipe, climbed it and in a few seconds climbed back down with so much ease your jaw was agape. As he walked past you he glared at you. You wondered if he had a thing for damsels in distress. But it didn’t matter because at least he helped you out, no matter what his deal was.

You followed behind him and he handed you the helmet.

“Wear it” he said shortly

“What about you?”

He didn’t answer and started up the bike. He brought you back to Taehyung’s place- or rather his building. You got off the bike with the backpack in your hands.

“Thank-” you were cut off by him yet again

“Don’t. Do not thank me. I’ve saved your ass twice and you better hope I don’t see you again because I am not saving you a third time” your face fell momentarily at his words

But even though his words sounded bitter it felt like they weren’t meant to be. So as he walked away from you into the building, you were left to wonder whether he was what you were looking for.

A beautiful disaster.

Maybe.

End Pt.1

A/N: Did you guys like Part 1? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments or leave me an ask or message me. I would love to talk to ya’ll :) Thank you taking the time out of your day to read it!

P.S:Jeon’s character is like my fucking dream.

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts smut #bts faketexts #bts jungkook #bts jungkook scenarios #bts jungkook imagines #bts jungkook one shots #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook smut #bts writing #tsundere!jungkook #jungkook one shots #bts jungkook scenario #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook imagine

766 notes · View notes

anewheroicage · 6 years

Text

The Vigilant Issue #1

The rebirth of an ancient bond of worlds!

Rowan Smith, a man of Forty who has done a lot in his relatively short time. To describe them all would take too long, and he’s not legally allowed to mention some of the stuff he’s done. But even with a life as exciting as his, it’s been a--Slow week for him. There was one upside but still.

Hard not to be when he’s been marooned on Earth, by his best friend at that. Took his Detective license and didn’t give it back, he can get away with it over here with some fancy magic but over on the Magi World Eden, not so much.

Rowan’s legs were raised and propped up against his desk. His chair leaning back as he was passing the time in his head. He had to be alert if anyone were to come through the door with something good. Any minute now, someone will come through it, too.

Any minute now

Any minute

Any min-

D I N G D I N G

The bell over his door rang that someone did come in. Though in all the anticipation Rowan almost fell over himself. Come on, be something good, be something go--

It was Rowan’s best friend, the man that made him endure one of the most boring weeks of his life. And that’s counting the week he spent handcuffed, without magic and literally attached at the hip of the most boring Guardian possible.

Robert Mitchell, head of security of the Eastern parts of Eden. Dressed in his formal uniform. Formal in Eden always meant it looked more like what a Earthbound, a non-magical human would think a stereotypical wizard wears. At least, that’s how Rowan sees things.

“Before you get all up in a tizzy over what I did, just listen. Please Rowan, just listen for gods sake.” Robert didn’t even need to see Rowan’s face for him to know what exactly what he was going to try and do. Robert made sure Rowan wasn’t going to interject. Adjusting his jacket as he continued.

“There is someone outside your office right now, that are here to hire you for the most important job of your life. Trust me here, you want to take this job, and I’m talking to you as my best friend, not as someone whose job you’ve hated forever. Please. Just consider it, and don’t do your usual schtick of acting like you listen to the important shit, and then brush it off. This will make up for metric ton of stuff you’ve done, maybe even with what happened with the-”

Robert jolts back just a bit as Rowan interrupts, thankfully not with a spell. Standing up to his friend, illustrating the difference between someone who was six feet, five inches, and someone who was five feet, eight inches.

“Don’t you fucking say it! I don’t give a shit what this job is, in fact all this holier than me bullshit you’re pulling might just make me pull my usual shit. This is my goddamn place of work AND where I sleep, and I ain’t about to let you treat me like I’m somehow lesser than you here. Some of the shit you guys in your lofty tower hate me for was fuckin’ fourteen years ago!”

Robert puffs his chest out, he’s dealt with a lot of Rowan’s shit before and he isn’t intimidated by his height. And as the two were being heated their Texas accents flared like nothing before.

“Fourteen years ago?! That’s when you started that shit, you actually stopped eight years ago! Which accounts for a lot of shit on your record. Which by the fuckin’ way you have the biggest one in the whole system. I’ve looked over a lot of shit, and that’s because I know you’re better than all this shit. You need to grow the fuck up, Rowan. This is your chance for a new start, don’t ruin it. You’re my best friend, I don’t want to see you ruin yourself, again.”

Rowan was about to throw some more back into Robert’s face before being interrupted himself in the middle of the first word. And that interruption was by a man of height in between Robert and Rowan, but whose presence was bigger than the building he stepped in. This man is the current Prime Magister, Adebayo Opeyemi. Who spoke with a gentle calm.

“I know there are many issues between you two that need to be hashed out, but if I may just pause this conversation. There will more than enough time for you two to work out what you need. But I do not have that same luxury.”

Robert apologizes, knowing that he got way too caught up and forgot to actually tell Rowan who exactly was coming in, and to bring him in.

Adebayo then stood up to Rowan, the two hadn’t met before, but it was like the two of them knew exactly what the other could do if things went for the worse. Rowan is about to make some snide joke, before being beat to speaking by the Prime Magister.

“You are exactly who I need for this job. You are perfect. Strong, both physically, emotionally and magically. Especially magically. Tall, but not too tall, perfect for leaders. And the most important part, you are one of the most magically adept party’s who is not affiliated with the government I run...Who also does not wish us many kinds of harm.”

Adebayo makes himself at home, sitting at Rowan’s most comfortable chair, at least the one that wasn’t behind his desk. A grin wide on his features.

“Wait--The fact I’m not a government stooge like Bobbie here is actually something in my favour? I would’a thought someone of your--Position would want the most loyal, most kiss-ass, brown-nose guardian as...Whatever you’re hiring me for.”

Adebayo then starts to laugh, it’s a deep, pounding laugh. The kind that can rattle your teeth if he were to find something especially hilarious. Then leaning forward, his index finger and thumb rubbing an ancient looking ring on the opposite hand.

“I do understand your confusion. But what I need is someone who can work outside the law, outside the government. But also someone I can trust do so for the right reasons. I need someone who is not looking to only please me to further themselves, someone who will do what’s right even if what’s right isn’t lawful. Which your friend has told me, isn’t his favourite thing. I, Adebayo Opeyemi, am hiring you, Rowan Smith to be the leader of the newly reforged Vigilant!”

As he said Vigilant, his hand raised triumphantly, in joy. It was a name that all three men in the room knew. But Adebayo was the only one who knew them to a near encyclopedic extent, he was almost obsessed with them.

The VIGILANT, a group of unknowns, magical people and beings that had a connection to Earth. And what that mean can differ so much. As long as you care for the Earth, and don’t wish it or it’s Earthbound people harm, you can be a Vigilant. Their goal was to bridge the gap between Eden and Earth, to ensure the protection of both worlds, and to treat all the same no matter if they had magic or not. Another goal was born soon after the groups first formation, and that was to help put out magical threats on Earth’s side, not only to protect the people but protect the bond of Earth and Eden before it can even be born.

Rowan was stunned at this, so was Robert. Who knew everything up to the doing what’s right even if it’s not lawful thing. While there haven’t been Vigilant’s for hundreds of years, their story has been passed down, but it is not a positive one. The story speaks of the time when the Vigilant nearly ended both worlds, in what way is unclear, the story changes depending on who is telling it. But it was that event that made the Vigilant a failure, and those that survived were tossed away.

“I can tell from your ecstatic expressions that you both are for it! Robert will be your contact to our side of things. But the Vigilant cannot go without aid from Earth! It would be going against what they stand for! So, I have enlisted the aid of the one man, and the one organization that will help us, and not expose us before we are ready.” Adebayo then gestures towards the door. Out steps a man who is more than familiar with this kind of thing. And so is the organization he represents.

“Gotta tell ya. Wasn’t fun having to tail someone who can use magic. Never is.” This, was the SDLA’s top Agent, Jack Kwon. Who goes up to the still surprised Rowan, and extends his right hand. “Pleasure to meet ya, Rowan Smith. Name’s Jack. Jack Kwon”

Rowan then returns the handshake after shaking himself out of being stunned, noting how it felt weird. Both physically and what he can tell from his magic. So of course, he had to say the first thing that came to mind. “So, does this thing come with the position, or can I just take it as a souvenir?”

Jack grins, having heard stuff like that more than once before. “Hey, and if you do, I’ll throw in not one, but two broken kneecaps, all for free! What a deal, right?”

Rowan then bursts out one powerful laugh. Gesturing to Jack so the others(Who didn’t look away or anything) could see. “Oh, I like you. Why can’t you hire more guys like this, Mr. Magister?”

Speaking of, the Prime Magister steps towards the two, putting his hands on both of their shoulders, a bit more awkward for Rowan’s, but he still does so.

“My, and now your friend. Mr. Kwon is part of the Super Detection and Listing Agency. Which from what he’s told me is more of a front name, than the only thing they do. He is more than happy to have his Agency be your contact on this side. Giving you information, supplies and all you need to do your new job.”

Rowan then interjects with something that’s been on his mind ever since he heard he was being hired for something.

“How much does this new job pay? Cause I’m still on the fence.”

“Just what I was hoping you’d ask! Your pay will be roughly about--” Adebayo then leans up towards Rowan’s ear and whispers. To which Rowan says.

“I’m in.”

“Hey! What’d he say!”

Adebayo then clears his throat and continues on.

“But, the Vigilant wasn’t just one man, no matter how powerful he may be. They were a team, and quite the expansive one. Your job will be hard and will need many different skillsets and abilities. So I suggest ten members, including you. Mr. Kwon will show you areas where there have been sightings that can be connected to magical beings. I want you to pick where you’re going. Hopefully whoever you encounter there will be exactly who you need.”

He nods at Jack, who steps back and from his right palm a holographic image of Earth is shown, with many, many points of interest. “Just tap one, and it’ll give you the info you need, tap it again and you’ll pick it.”

Rowan takes his time doing this. But thankfully Robert knows the place just well enough that he’s brewed some coffee.

After all’s said and done Rowan has chosen his nine initial places of interest. Halifax, Nova Scotia. Madison, Wisconsin. Monclova, Coahuila. Kyoto, Japan. Perth, Australia. London, England. Lillehammer, Norway. Manama, Bahrain. And Salamanca, Spain.

“Those are--Interesting choices. You sure you don’t want the guy who says he’s Thor in Sweden?” Jack commented.

“I mean, if he was Thor, he’d be in Norway. Plus the fact that it says that he’s prone to just dropping his pants whenever someone says he isn’t Thor. And I don’t want that curse on my team.” Jack nods at that, with a stifled laugh.

“Your team! Perfect, already in so short a time you have accepted your position and your title! Now, the time is running out. You may verbally accept it, but you must internally accept your responsibility now. Contact Mr. Kwon in the next day or so, Rowan. He will get you where you need to be. But only when you are truly ready. Our time is running out. And yours is just beginning, Rowan!” Adebayo then pulls Robert and Jack with him, as he goes towards the door, Jack’s contact info and a commune-stone tied directly to Robert’s own are ported onto his desk. Rowan’s just filled with a lot of info he has to take in all at once, but he has to say one last thing.

“Rob! Say hey to the kids for me! Tell ‘em their uncle ain’t a deadbeat anymore!” Hopefully he can make himself believe that too. “And also tell the missus to stop cussing at me in Orcish, I know what she’s saying!”

But before he can go back to his chair to think it all over again, something happens. A figure of pure shadow appears in front of him. It’s someone he knows.

Adebayo with one last bit of talk, showing his other side. His specialty was illusion magic, and his was so great he was able to make a demigod whimper in fear. the illusion’s eyes were burrowing right into Rowan’s heart and soul.

“Your task is the most important thing you’ve ever done. That I have ever done. What you do will reflect upon me when all is said and done. Do not disappoint me Rowan. You will earn your redemption, or face what you have done over and over, for the rest of your life. And I will be there, even if I expire. I will be there. But I know you are better than your past and I trust you. Do not make me a fool for knowing as such, Rowan.”

When the shadowy illusion dissipated, Rowan felt his heart start again. Making his way to his desk, slumping down on the chair while catching his breath.

--Wait, did Rob still not give his license back? Guess he’s not exactly a detective anymore anyway.

Better get to renovating the place. But first.

He cracks open a bottle of whiskey and turns on his radio, he doesn’t know if it’s to celebrate or if it’s in acceptance of despair.

Maybe he can really make a difference. Wouldn’t hurt to try.

Right?

#The Vigilant #Rowan; The vigilant man of magic #god i hope this is okay #the problem with sharpening my writing skills on rp here is that it's harder than it should be for me to have different characters talk and #not constantly say oh hey this is the person saying this over and over #so i tried my best to differentiate between all the guys here #but anyway I'm super nervous about my writing #and how rusty it's gotten

2 notes · View notes

anathemanonymous · 4 years

Text

Spilling it in the first person: truths I need to accept

Well, it's not going well. I feel like I am not moving forward,but backward. I held myself back by trying to do the right thing.

I gave you the whole house in trade for my freedom. There was no end date on the agreement. It simply stated you would get the property and all the responsibility of the associated bills. It also stated you would agree to hold me harmless.

Well, that didnt happen.

I'm still stuck 4 years after leaving. The attorney told me not to pay off the foreclosure but I did. Twice. I stopped the process of filing contempt in August. She was livid. She offered me the option to have you removed from the house and I could keep it. Well, I had just signed the apt lease. A one year contract. How was I supposed to afford two house payments? I didn't want that responsibility. I left the house to prove I wasnt married to this man for the money. He refused to leave. So I did.

Both our names remain on the title. Bank cant take me off. You refuse to sell. You cannot afford to refinance.

What are you trying to do here?

As I am being held in place by obligation you insist upon complaining about how it is my fault that you are suffering. How you are refusing to cooperate. Refuse to work or pay bills. Refuse to accept that I left. Refuse to reach out or grow in healthy ways. Refuse to stop drinking or doing drugs. Refuse to try to improve our shitty relationship. Refuse to reach out to your own child. Refuse to sell the house. Refuse to clean it. Trick me into calling off the attorney at the last foreclosure: you say you will pay me back the $5500 and we can fix up the house. I tell you how uneasy I feel about this deal. You tell me to trust you.

I clean and clean on my days off work and you sit and ridicule and drink. You tell me it's no rush. You literally have no money to fix it up. I have gone round and around with Fred at the agency to get him to agree to put the house on the market and how we need to sell to a qualified buyer. How to ensure no consequences from this home being doomed. How to do the right thing. How to honor the promises to the agency and to the bank. Its ridiculous how often I've triaged with your mother. How many phone calls and notes kept on the research of creating a plan to salvage the property and you.

And you. I have given you money. I have paid your debts. I have taken you to the doctor. I set you up for evaluation of ADHD. You cry about your health. You cant get off the couch. You cry about being broke, depressed with no reason to live. When I speak to you, you continue to put me down, to accuse me of never caring. You accuse me of malicious crimes against you for the past 16 years. You claim I just used you. My entire life was built around supporting you. You accuse me of going against you deliberately. You blame for your behaviors of rude comments and refusals to cooperate or participate in anything related to parenting or household chores or budgeting or my feelings. I was threatened by your recklessness. I was doomed to being overly responsible but got nothing but contempt in return.

There wasn't peace. There wasnt love. No support. Constant arguments and blow ups. Constant strife. Constant pain. Carrying your weight twice my size. Trying to rape me. Trying to negate me. Trying to minimize me. Criticizing every fucking thing I did or said or believed. Faking it in front of your friends and parents. Giving nothing but expecting me to provide for your every need on a whim. Needing help with your business books, spending hours only to be discredited and rejected. You put your shit first. You blocked my path with your messiness. You left it all up to me but gave me no credit, no control and no power. Then accuse me of doing the same to you. You ridiculed my hobbies, my goals, my dreams. You chose your friends over me. You drank to the point of black out every day. You stopped working. Your buisness partner abandoned you even after he stole from the business account, you kept him around. You kept giving him your share of our household bills instead of pay our bills. So I paid. You stole my tax returns for years. You were rude and inconsiderate toward how any of your shitty choices affected me and our family. You have withheld love and given only pain. You ignored my feelings and needs. And now you complain and claim to suffer worse than me?

What about me??

To top it off: after moving out and returning on a regular basis to check in with you even as you deliberately were harming me financially and emotionally...I get hate when I remove the loaded guns in the house bc you're suicidal from all the drugs and no sleep and not eating and not working and I worry and I feel sorry and I want to keep things normal so I see the mess and try not to do the cleaning, the yardwork.

I play with the dogs and feed them and you always leave when I arrive ...or start an argument until you chase me away.

After 4 years of being ridiculed and blamed....instead of being heard and validated.

I have to actually accept that you are openly and intentionally holding me hostage financially and emotionally. You admit it on text. Your mother claims you were just drinking and you didnt mean it. What will it take to justify my actions?

Its been 4 years of waiting on pins and needles. Of not breathing. Or being stuck. Not to mention the 7 years before I left the house. Trying to fix things.

Looking back, I've never received emotional support from you. Other than to stay away from my family.

I have a hard time accepting the fact that you didn't improve yourself when I left. You got worse. You stopped trying long before I left. And I hoped you would recognize how awful you'd become. I was risking a chance that you would change into a responsible adult. Learn to care for me in real ways. Appreciate me, quite frankly. I was looking for appreciation. Recognition. Acceptance. Acknowledgement. The elements of love.

I left because there was no love.

It was the right thing to do.

Unhealthy relationships are meant to fall apart.

Blame me or blame you. It doesn't matter. It takes two to have a relationship. It becomes one sided.

Wait. It was always one sided. I wanted to believe it was a mutual relationship. I dreamed it. I created the illusion of it. But it could not be felt. Bc it was a mirage. It only looked like something real. It felt empty. Like a shell. Like a home without a foundation. Ready to fall apart like a Hollywood studio prop.

I was lying to myself the whole time.

The only way out now is to tell the truth. To let shit fall apart by not adding to it. To stop putting in.

But it feels wrong to let my house go into foreclosure. It feels wrong to file with a lawyer. It feels so wrong to do nothing to help, on purpose. Yet it is the right way. Right? This world is absolutely ridiculous. Just fucking back breaking and disheartening. People are so viscous. Banks and lawyers. Without hearts. Empty motherfucking shells of humans.

I knew the truth but didn't want to face it. Denial is so powerful. It can change the way you see things. Or exclude what you do not want to see. Or feel.

I wanted to believe love could make my dream come true, become real. Make me real.

All the proof was in your actions. Fighting me every step of the way. Calling me crazy. You're right. It is crazy to live that way. I agree.

So if it's TRUE : then I have to accept the reality that you don't care about me. Either you cant, or you are just unwilling. You say you love me. But what does love mean? It seems you only care that I care for you. How much I can give and prove that I care. Prove by sacrificing my needs, time, money, energy.

Every fiber of my being is going against the fact that the only way out of this situation is divorce and foreclosure of my home. Abandoning you. Why does it feel unethical and immoral? Huge conflict within.

I tried to help you and to salvage my credit, I have spent over $15,000 to bail it out . ..because I'd already put so much into it that I want to keep on the same path. I dont want a different anonymous path. I want to stay where its familiar. But then again, why? I've never been happy on this path. From experience, moving on does not guarantee happiness either.

I'm standing my ground. I'm honoring my values of integrity and refusing to tolerate abuse and nonsense.

But yes it's hard to move on bc I am ever-wanting to keep convincing myself and the world ...proof of how mature and dedicated I am, of my own goodness, my own kindness, my own value.

If my value rests on a successful career in marriage then I have discredited myself. I have failed to be a quality product. Yikes.

..because I hid behind it, and I'd do anything to keep up the facade. I am afraid to be seen as alone, maybe. I am afraid to stand up against the abuse bc it means I have failed. That I am faulty. Not worthy. Maybe I asked for it. Or deserve it.

Shame is a terrible feeling.

By the virtue of which I choose to honor, I thereby become less valuable. I protected your reputation. I kept silent. I protected my own reputation as well. Now I am throwing it out the window. Breaking a promise to myself to never do that again. Yes, I have experienced this all before. Many times. Throughout my lifetime. I had to destroy my own identity.

Because I could pretend I belonged. I could pretend I had a healthy relationship and family. But the sacrifice was too much. And I was so off-balance. I was shut off. Closed down. Depressed. Sick.

You refused to lie for me. So I left. We dont have to keep pretending to play house. Maybe that disappointed me. You want to play cops and robbers. I refused. Lol. Whatever.

And maybe the ultimate cage I try to break free from is being forced to stay small, a repeating pattern from throughout my entire childhood. It is the shame I carry. The unworthy nature of my wounded inner child.

When confronted with opening up I remain skeptical and scared. I beat myself up. I feel rejected, disillusioned, hurt, betrayed, and I am ashamed of showing that I am being harmed. I am am afraid to speak up. When I do, I get shut down by you, your family, my attorney, the court, society.

This triple whammy has knocked me off my feet every time I try to stand up. I feel insulted by the slights of neighbors, the sounds of the outside world. I speak up against emotional manipulation and I feel the feather of rejection like a sledgehammer.

... I am accused of being crazy. I post on social media. I get very little support. The message I'm receiving is: your perception is inaccurate, we all have a human right to happiness and respect but you should be ashamed of exposing yourself like that. It makes you look vulnerable, it tarnishes our code of taboo subjects, think about your reputation, bc we as a society are not comfortable with displays of vulnerability. Call a hotline or something.

You know what? I dont need a fucking hotline. My counselor didnt even recognize me during our last phone session. Fuck this system. I'm on my own. And if I have to become more viscous and bitter to fit in, I prefer to stand alone.

0 notes

coalitiongirl · 7 years

Note

ive been watching your scenes to rewatch and ive been crying at literally all of them. out of curoisity, what are your favourite ouat scenes? either sq or general? also side note, i love your latest fic, such an interesting premise. i get so scared every time someone says an order and emmas forced to comply, that scene with the trolls had me on edge. and the fact that cora must suspect something about emma now - im so scared but excited ahah :D have a nice day :)

OH I super dropped the ball on those omg, i have so many others!! but i haven’t been able to rewatch in a long time, it hard 😩

of course i LOVE almost every swan queen scene!! it’s hard for me to pick favorites because nearly every one pings something else inside me omfg. I don’t think there’s a single sq scene I couldn’t write an essay about WHOOPS. so lemme try to answer this with just some of my favorite non-sq scenes 😅

Emma in True North: hoo boy, this is probably in my scenes to rewatch but that scene on the road, MAN. there’s so much careful buildup with emma’s abandonment issues and how much she sees herself in nick and ava. and they have a chance she never does and dammit, she fights for them!! she fights for two kids just like her and they get their moment and jmo turns that realization into agony with sheer artistry in emma’s FACE in their final moment. god.

Regina in We Are Both: this was the episode that sold me on Regina! tbh i’d marathoned s1 as soon as they announced mulan was going to be in s2 so i hadn’t been focusing much on thinking before that?? and then suddenly there’s Regina, in all her rich and layered stories, and i fell hARD. the whole narrative of the episode- Regina resisting parental abuse until she becomes what she’s always feared to be free!! and that translating into her saying ‘no, this isn’t going to continue to the next generation. even if i lose the only thing that matters to me.’ do u ever stan!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE VERY WELL. END ME.

Emma in Firebird: listen. never follow ur idols to ur next fandom or you’ll suddenly realize they actually hate women and then get ‘’’muted’’’ for ‘’’yelling at her too much’’’ but jane espenson did a GOOD with the flashbacks in this one (present day still literal and figurative hell tho!!). The concept of Emma’s jacket as armor isn’t an original one, but the execution was honestly stellar. Emma forging this connection with an older hardened woman who can’t let go of the past either!! emma destroyed and remade into the lady we met on her twenty-eighth birthday. GOD. SHE FINDS HER DAUGHTER. and i gotta say, the vulnerable-tearful-young thing jmo was doing w emma in s5 didn’t work for me in terms of what present day was trying to convey, but it’s a perfect fit for that flashback, i WEPT.

Regina in Quite A Common Fairy: Lana OWNS the cave scene with Tink, god. The depth and breadth of emoTION. The episode and the narrative itself builds it up from episode one! because this regina on the road to redemption but finally giving us a glimpse into the emotional and mental state she was in as the young queen- she has all this rage and she’s SUSTAINED by it, it’s her only real truth and constant and she’s terrified of what might happen if she lets it go for even an instant and chooses hope instead. (Lana’s voice when Regina says she’s afraid that without rage she might just ‘—float away’ is something that has stayed with me for a long, long time.) REGINA PULLING OUT HER HEART TO MAKE A POINT. far from the last time she will, but how affecting!! god!!

Emma and Snow in S1: There are a few moments i’m thinking of (and i’m literally writing this on the treadmill so pls forgive the lack of episode names) and all of them are so stellar, god. The moment when Snow finds Emma living out of her car early on. Snow and Emma sitting at the table at the loft holding hands. Emma lying down next to a crying Snow. Snow yelling at Emma for being so selfish when she tries running off with Henry?? EMMA SHOWING UP AT MARY MARGARET’S DOOR SEARCHING FOR A ~PERSON~ AND MARY MARGARET SILENTLY LETTING HER IN. Snow and Emma work best in S1 in the silences and the fights, where they’re allowed to just care and be family, and I treasure each of those moments as much as they do.

Regina and Zelena in the Kansas: There’s a lot of effort put into this dynamic right near what seemed like the end, playing with how exactly Zelena perceives her happy ending to go- and then Regina strikes it all down by being different, by changing, by being someone Zelena hadn’t believed either of them capable of. And then Regina goes to Zelena’s cell and offers her!! sisterhood!! my god. i instantly fell in love with the dynamic in that moment and i’m forever pressed that the ‘it’s nice to have family in town’ line was cut. because you can tell that regina craves family and craves unmaking this second monster of her mother’s and zelena was going to TAKE that second chance and hey! this seems the perfect time to go off-message and

Belle in Family Business and Heroes and Villains: imma be honest, i like belle just fine in the early seasons but i have zero interest in rumbelle, which means a lot of fast-forwarding through her scenes. But these two scenes were ENCHANTING. Mirror Belle preying on Belle with the truth that she’s afraid to face! Emilie does such a fantastic job conveying so much cruelty in that scene, I was gaping and enthralled and hoping shattered sight was going to work exactly like that (and tbh props to ginny for doing a hella creepy snow at the start of Shattered Sight). And that town line scene!!! What a stunning, evocative scene. Belle reclaiming agency and taking action in such a 100% cold-blooded but necessary way!! that’s my ravenclaw babe!!!

Mulan and Aurora: I was young, and I Believed, and I Believed for a very long time. I am appalled at my naïveté too, don’t worry.

Regina in Enter the Dragon: LOOK it’s not about the leather but it’s a lil about the leather!!! I really appreciate both Regina in the past and present in this one and also how gay it is, and I’m most charmed by lil evil pep talking nugget Regina who just wants you to be the very best villain you can be! It’s such an artful melding of the exuberance of young!Regina and the delight in chaos of eq!Regina and i, for one, am a fan.

Emma (and Henry) in The Stranger/An Apple Red as Blood: my gOD. Okay I think one of the first times I cried while watching this show was in Emma’s desperate, hysterical denial to August about the curse. She’s so clearly hit rock bottom and she’s TERRIFIED of believing and it’s breaking her. SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONES HAPPINESS. SHE DOESNT WANT IT. THAT IS CRAP!!!! i love her!! i love emma swan!!! i do!!!!! and then moving into the end of the next episode when she tells henry she’s leaving and just!! ‘henry! life isn’t a story!’ man this show had some incredible early work. sigh. emma kneeling in front of henry begging him to listen! my god.

Regina in the Cricket Game: so i’m leaving out all my fave sq moments which severely limits the number of regina and emma scenes i can talk about here but the flashbacks in this one SURE ARE SOMETHING. regina has hit rock bottom in this set and you feel it in every moment, in her REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT CAUSED MORE PAIN and frickin stABBING snow and that dark scene with the candle oh god. this is a regina who doesn’t think about looking back anymore but who doesn’t think about looking forward, either, and she’s terrifying. it reminds me a lot of the scene later this season in Welcome to Storybrooke where she takes out snow’s heart and ‘see? i can have everything’ but there are tears sliding down her face. regina in enraged despair is something to behold!!

Henry (and Emma and Regina) in Operation Mongoose: Henry doesn’t often get lengthy times to shine that aren’t about other characters, but he was literally a YA hero in the author’s universe! man! what a kid! and his scenes with bandit Regina are some of my all-time favorites, as is that heartstopping moment when he reaches the top of that tower and flings the door open and Emma KNOWS him. reader, i wept. i wept hard. talk about your earned moments!!!

Emma as Dark Swan: posture! clothing! positioning! voice work! dark swan was a revelation i’m still rightfully bitter about, because she was EVERYTHING in those early episodes. the way she caressed snow’s face in first episode of 5a. the faux-innocent with the calculating eyes on the ship with whats-his-name. every interaction with henry where she was trying to be a PERSON. the way she moved! the way she felt more reptilian than human! i wanted to know everything about her!! (then i did and quit the show lol) honestly some of jmo’s best acting to date, i’m forever in awe.

That Still Small Voice: look, this is an episode about a cricket and it remains one of my favorite quality ouat episodes. Archie sells it best as an adult influenced by his past without quite knowing it, and Archie and Henry make for a really engaging dynamic in here. There is nothing about Archie’s professional behavior that doesn’t make me want to scream but this remains a very, very good episode.

Emma in Sympathy for the De Vil/Lily: okay this is cheating a little because so much of this is also Regina but!! Emma individually shines in this narrative and throughout 4b. From the moment she finds out about what her parents had done, you can watch it slowly draining a part of her?? yes her eyes got redder but there was also this kind of apathy about EVERYTHING. And tbh the Cruella episode is pretty awesome on its own (I love the slow revelation that Cru is the villain, what a stellar execution of a fave trope) but WHEN EMMA KILLS HER. In the exact moment that Cruella says ‘heroes don’t kill’. that’s what pushes emma over the edge!! and then emma ready to kill again the next episode because she feels like she’s sliding into an abyss, i couldn’t BREATHE. emma is incredible when the narrative lets her be angry, and i wanted So Much More. Speaking of which, Emma getting angrier and angrier and almost losing it in The Snow Queen was more of that anger!! i am HUNGRY for it.

Regina and Snow in The Evil Queen: This episode is messy af but damn did my heart skip a beat when a hooded hero saves Regina and tears off her hood and it’s SNOW. This episode does so much of what makes Snow/Regina so fascinating and frustrating, both in the present and the past. Their interactions in the woods moved me! changed me! and Regina had already crossed the point of no return but oh man, oh man, the way they’d almost gotten somewhere for a minute there.

Regina and Henry in Save Henry: A classic, a work of art, and I’ve said so much about it in the past that I’m exhausted just thinking about expressing it all again now. But what a STORY of an evil queen who falls in love with a little boy. What a narrative!! The promo pictures from this episode came out when I was sitting in the hospital for a checkup while I was expecting my daughter, and I was tearing up and the nurses thought it was about the ultrasound. I’M NOT PROUD. This is a love story!!! And it culminates again in A Curious Thing, by the way, which put another ten years on my life, an Epic !

Emma and Henry in New York City Serenade: boy was this a journey, but I was absolutely spellbound omg. This was a love song to a fantasy but it’s a fantasy that never unmakes Emma– she’s afraid of commitment and happiness and everything permanent in her life that isn’t Henry, but she’s still going to take that leap despite herself. It’s a wonderful character study that captures Emma’s essence in a new world, with a new past.

Snow in The Miller’s Daughter: Snow is at her best when the show isn’t painting her with rose-colored glasses and we get to see her darker side, and I don’t think she ever gets quite as dark in the first three seasons as she is when she’s standing there, smiling earnestly at Regina as she tells her that the key to Cora loving Regina is in the poisoned heart she holds. My god. It’s so incredibly cold-blooded and vile, and it’s absolutely the kind of manipulative pragmatism that suits Snow best. I am enthralled and horrified.

Neal and Emma and Henry and Gold in Manhattan: This is one of those really cool scenes where even though I don’t particularly care for half the characters within it, everyone acted the hell out of it and it’s so GOOD. There’s so much tension and you’re holding your breath through the squabbling, and then Henry shows up and you KNOW. You know what’s going to happen and you’re terrified for Emma and it’s so visceral, right up until the instant when Neal demands Henry’s age and Henry shouts ELEVEN and my god, my god. What a reveal. What a scene.

There are more!! so many scenes and moments i’ve loved over the years. Emma and young!Lily! Snowing in Snow Falls! Anna of Arendale!! Snow and Emma in Lost Girl!! Ruby in Red Handed! The David/Emma dragon fight in A Land Without Magic! Regina tearing out that heart in The Doctor and meeting Daniel again?? Regina and her father in hell. all of Hat Trick. i think twenty is a good place to stop, but hoo boy, when this show was good, it was GOOD. alas.

#ouat #Anonymous

56 notes · View notes