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tartarusknight · 9 months

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you’re losing your memory 3/3

Part 1 | Part 2

To say that Eddie was having a shitty couple of days was an understatement. The panic had flooded him as time had gone by and Steve and Robin hadn’t met him and Nancy at Steve’s. When he called Robin’s and no response the feeling grew. He called, Dustin, Byers, Sinclair, Max, and finally Hopper. El had answered Hopper’s phone and she was quick to help. But what she said only made Eddie feel worse. By the time he and Nancy were rushing out of the Harrington house, Dustin had pulled up on his bike, looking panicked. Eddie let Nancy explain to Dustin after they all piled into his van where he ignored all speed limits and parked at the hospital.

His mind was racing with a memory that had started to leave a sour taste in his mouth.

Steve stood between Eddie’s legs, one hand on each thigh in a way that drove Eddie mad. He looked Eddie in the eye and he murmured “You never know when you’re going to lose someone. We almost lost you and Max. Isn’t it better to make each moment great?” He said and something in Eddie eased. The small part of him that had been terrified of losing Steve, of Steve leaving Eddie behind just like his mom had, finally calmed.

He smiled down at Steve, relaxing finally. “Yeah?”

Steve had only nodded, “Yeah. Gotta make each moment special when you’re with people you love.” Eddie had flushed and Steve’s eyes looked away from him. Eddie couldn’t deal with that though. Not when Steve was only inches away. Eddie was only human.

He reached out and cupped Steve’s face, “Steve?”

Steve opened his eyes and Eddie felt so much love for this man. “Yeah?” Steve asked gently.

Eddie straightened and took the plunge, “you love me?”

Steve didn’t even hesitate to nod, “Yeah.” Eddie felt like he could explode with happiness. Steve blinked and then his eyes went determined. “Can I show you how much?” He asked and Eddie nodded, eyes wide. Steve reached up and put his hand on Eddie’s cheek, a copy of Eddie. “Can I kiss you?” Steve whispered.

“Ye-” Eddie’s yes was interrupted by Steve’s lips. Steve leaned into Eddie as Eddie melted into Steve’s hold. It was perfect, it was everything.

They parted and Eddie rested his forehead against Steve’s forehead. “You don’t know long I’ve wanted to do that.” He says and doesn’t even feel embarrassed. How could he when Steve’s eyes sparkled with love? Then Steve’s eyes grew watery and before Eddie could really get a better look at the emotion in his face, Steve pulled him back into a kiss. Eddie loved the way Steve’s lips felt against his. Steve broke the kiss to bury himself in Eddie’s arms. Eddie wrapped his legs around him too, completely trapping him in. A kiss landed on his throat and Eddie’s eyes fluttered shut. “I love you too,” he says to Steve and Steve lets out a choked sob.

“I love you, so much,” Steve admits and Eddie holds Steve closer as he starts to cry.

His hand ran threw Steve’s hair and hummed, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He says and then smiles, “I love you, Stevie.” He promises just because he can.

Steve sniffs, “Can I get that in writing?" He asked and Eddie laughed.

He pushed Steve up so he could look him in the eye, “Sweetheart, I’d write in the stars if I could.” He said and Steve beamed. It was so full of joy and love that Eddie’s heart flipped.

“Paper is fine with me.” He joked, making Eddie laugh. He pressed another kiss to Steve’s lips only to be interrupted by a holler from the living room.

“Hey! When’s dinner gonna be done? I’m huuuunnnggggrrrryyy.” Robin called from the living room and they both heard Nancy’s soft laughter.

It made Steve smile. He pressed another kiss to Eddie’s lips before stepping back to the oven. “Jesus woman! It’ll be done soon!” Eddie called back and jumped down to wrap his arm around Steve.

“Could I- could this be between me and you for a few days?” Eddie asked and Steve looked at him. “I just- I love our friends so fucking much but I want a moment to just be with you.” He explains and Steve’s eyes dance across his face before he nods.

He presses a kiss to Eddie’s cheek, “That sounds good. They won’t leave us alone once they figure it out.” He teases and Eddie laughs, because sure they’re joking but they really aren’t. Then Steve licks his lips and sighs, “But just a few days. I can’t wait to tell Robin.” He says and Eddie loves the twinkle in his eyes.

Eddie nods, “Good. Cause I just want you to be mine for a little bit.” He bites Steve’s ear which has Steve laughing and shoving him away.

He holds out a spoon in defense, “Back off heathen!” He twirls the spoon just to show off. “Go join the girls so I can focus.” He demands and Eddie wiggles his eyebrows.

“Are you saying that I’m distracting?” He tries to get closer but Steve brandishes the spoon like a sword and Eddie holds up his hands in defense.

The moment Steve drops his guard Eddie swoops in and presses him against the counter, kissing him hard. Steve’s body melts against him and Eddie pulls back. He swipes a lick across Steve’s cheek just to be annoying before dancing out of Steve’s reach.

“Out!” Steve screeches and Eddie laughs as he heads out to the girls.

They both look over at him and Eddie wonders if they can tell he’s been kissing Steve. Only they don’t mention it. “Steve’s kitchen rules,” Robin complains. “Soon no one is going to be allowed in there with him.” She jokes and Eddie nods even though he hasn’t been banned quite yet. Well, he’s banned for the night. But Eddie will bully Steve into letting him there with him.

He lays down on the couch, taking up far too much space and placing his head in Nancy’s lap. Nancy rolls her eyes but then she’s raking her fingers through his hair. “Can I braid it?” She asks and Eddie groans but rolls off the couch to sit in front of her on the floor. She smiles at him before continuing her finger combing before she started to French braid his hair. Eddie closes his eyes and dreams of the perfect life. He wants his moments with Steve. With the girls. With the party.

The first day with Steve is perfect and so is the second. The third…

Eddie paces, waiting for Robin to come back with news. Joyce has joined them at some point and he feels like he might fall apart at the seams. His mind swirled around the thought of Steve telling him it was fine, that nothing was wrong. It just keeps hitting him and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to keep a straight face if something truly is wrong. But… something was wrong. Eddie already knew that. No one just collapsed at work for no reason. And Eddie had seen it in Steve. Had seen the way Steve had been more sentimental.

Eddie had been stupid to just believe Steve. He was so stupid. Eddie couldn’t help but blame himself. Hate himself. Oh god how much Eddie hated himself at this moment. He had believed Steve when he should’ve known better. He should’ve brought it up to Robin or pushed more. Instead, he listened to the same person who didn’t want to go to the hospital even after he was hurt really badly. Robin had forced him in there and he had complained the whole time. The man who fought Vecna after being chewed on by bats and Eddie knew from personal experience that it sucked.

When they were finally able to head in, Eddie didn’t know if he was thankful or broke hearted that their relationship had been a secret. No one would look at him with a pitying smile. But no one would truly understand the pain he was experiencing. And Eddie didn’t know if he wanted to stay by Steve’s side or run as far as he could away from this. But instead, he stayed. He stayed until they were kicked out and then he went back the very next morning. He brought his nicest leather journal he bought because of how cool it looked. He never used it because nothing seemed like a good enough reason to use it... but he found a reason.

As the others told stories and tried to talk to the very quiet Steve, he wrote. He did as he promised and wrote it on paper. His love in as many words as he could manage. From the way, Steve smiled to the way he put his hands on his hips when he talked to the kids. Eddie wrote and wrote not paying attention to how much he spilled onto the pages. He didn’t care if it came out like a thought or like a song. He just let it flow from him. And it never slowed. Eddie wondered if it ever would.

The next day wasn’t much different. Only as they had to all step out as the doctor checked on Steve with Robin staying by Steve’s side for the most part, Steve’s mom appeared. Hopper sent him a look and Eddie was rushing back to Steve’s room. He knocked before peaking his head in to see the two soulmates in tears, holding each other. For a moment, Eddie’s hopeful that Steve’s back. But then he shakes the hope from his grip and quickly says, “Mamma Harrington’s in the waiting room. Hopper stopped her uh, we thought we’d give you both a heads up.”

Robin jerks her head to invite him in and he looks over at Steve for permission. Only before he can ask with his eyes, Robin says, “Come and tell Steve that he’s going to find love. That he’s not failing and that he still has time to grow into the person he wants to be.” She orders and Eddie just freezes. “Eddie?” Robin asks and then her eyes widen, “I’m sorry.” She blurts and Eddie feels like his heart was pulled out of his chest and ripped in two. He sees Steve’s confused face and hides his own emotions. “Just- shit I’m sorry.” She says and rubs at her face.

He looks away from them and then takes a deep breath. He tries to smile, “Trust me, Harrington. You’re not unlovable. You-” His throat closes up and he has to leave the room before he starts to cry. As he heads out, he sees Lorenna Harrington moving toward the room with purpose. Only she stops as she him. The tears that are suffocating him. He leans against the wall, covering his face. He flinches as he feels a hand land on his shoulder.

He looks up at her and he can see the similarities. The beauty marks here and there, the soft brown eyes, and while her hair is very much blonde, it’s got the same volume as Steve’s. She looks at him and then her eyes fill with understanding. He expects disgust, hatred, and foul words. Instead, she stares him in the eye and says, “I’m so sorry. Don’t lose faith in him just yet.” She says and Eddie blinks. Then with a firm nod, she lets go of his shoulder and heads into the room to see her son.

The moment she’s gone he sinks to the floor and hugs his legs to his chest. It doesn’t take long for Dustin to join him. The kid lays his head on Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie does his best to stop the tears, even as Dustin’s own tears flow free. He can’t break apart. Not when Steve’s still here. Even if he’s not all… even if his memories aren’t all there. He pulls Dustin even closer and they stay pressed together. “He’s going to be okay,” Dustin mutters and Eddie squeezes his eyes shut. “He always gets back up,” Dustin’s voice breaks and Eddie can’t stop his own tears anymore. “Eddie, I can’t lose him,” he says.

Eddie squeezes his shoulder, “Stevie’s strong.” He says and then he sighs, “We’ve got to be too.” Dustin nods and Eddie pulls the small leatherbound book from his back pocket. “He asked me, before. To- to write down why I cared about him.” Eddie says and Dustin sits up so he’s looking Eddie in the eye. “I thought he was just joking but-”

Dustin’s hand is hesitant as he reaches out. “Can I?”

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, “I want to fill it up with everyone’s love.” Eddie whispered and Dustin nodded.

“Of course,” Dustin says and Eddie hands over the book. The small ribbon showing where Eddie left off. Dustin flips through it. Eddie’s words and pictures he had of Steve happy on the pages. He can tell Dustin’s curious, but he doesn’t ask. Just leans into Eddie again, taking the offered pen and starting to fill in his thoughts and love.

They stay there until Robin comes out of the door. She pauses at them and looks like she wants to sit down with them. “Is Will still here?” She asks and Dustin stands shakily.

He nods, “I can go find him. And I’ll- I’ll pass around the book.” He promises.

Robin smiles a little, “Here. Can you tell him to paint these for Steve? Steve… I think he’d be more comfortable wearing them if they're special.” She explains and Dustin rushes off with the small box. In a second, she takes up Dustin’s spot on the ground next to Eddie. They curl into each other and she grabs his hand. For a moment it feels like she’s measuring their hands but then she’s just holding onto him. “You doing okay?” She asks and he snorts which has her nodding. “Me too,” she sighs and they stay like that for a long moment.

“I can’t lose him,” She says. “I’m willing to build that relationship back up. Are you?” She asks and Eddie blinks. She’s looking at him like she doesn’t already know his answer.

He licks his lips, “Robbie I’d wait a million years for him. And I want to wait,” he sighs and she looks at him with her piercing gaze.

“You love him?” She asks and his heart breaks a little.

But he nods, “I really do.”

She smiles softly, “Then I’m willing to help him through another bisexuality crisis.” She says and he laughs a little. Robin leans against him more, “Just uh, well I wouldn’t go slamming him into walls or threatening him with a bottle, but…” She trails off and then her smile wobbles. “But I mean, it worked once, didn’t it?”

Eddie felt tears falling once again, “yeah. If you want, I can pretend to kidnap you two to give you a good bonding experience.” He jokes and she laughs. Then they're both laughing and sobbing. It feels like the world might end but they’ve already been through one end of the world. What’s one more?

Eventually, they pile back into Steve’s room and Eddie sees his Steve as he lies there. It’s comforting, the way Steve sleeps. Like Eddie can pretend it’s his Steve. The Steve that remembers it all. And for a moment he basks in it. He knows not to let himself pretend for too long before his heart ends up even more hurt, but it’s hard not to. Especially as Eddie watches Steve blink awake slowly. He just laid there and Eddie wondered if anyone else noticed he was awake. Steve looks over all of them before his eyes stop at Eddie’s hands.

But then Steve ignores Robin’s soft, “How did you sleep?”

He looks at Eddie then, eyes going misty and he whispers, “Eddie?” Eddie can feel everyone’s eyes on him and he stays still in his chair.

“Yeah?” Eddie croaks out and hates how much his brain is trying to trick him into believing that the person in front of him is his Steve. Then the familiar brown eyes are filling with tears and Eddie’s up and moving before he can think better of it. “Stevie- Steve hey,” He reaches to touch and comfort but stops himself. Selfishly worried about his own mental state if he does that. “Steve, are you alright?” Eddie watches the way Steve’s face cracks and he lets out a sob. Everyone around Eddie starts to panic. Steve’s mom looks like she doesn’t know if she wants to run and get a doctor or hold her son. Robin looks like she’s about to hold Steve but Steve reaches out and pulls Eddie to him. Clinging onto him and Eddie’s frozen before he squeezes his eyes shut and holds Steve close.

Eddie looks down at Steve when he puts his ear to Eddie’s chest and closes his eyes. It makes Eddie’s heart skip a beat… Steve had fallen asleep on Eddie’s chest like that for the past couple of days. He’s finding comfort in the beat of Eddie’s heart. It makes Eddie feel like he’s going to cry so he bends a little to say “Stevie, baby, you need to let us into that head of yours,” into his ear.

Steve pulls his head away to look up at him, his arms tightening around Eddie’s waist. “Y-your heart’s still beating. I needed to kn-know it was still be-beating.” He chokes out and Eddie feels hope bubble up in his chest. Steve’s not meeting his gaze and Eddie looks over at Robin whose eyes are just as wide. Steve let go of Eddie to rub his face. He was letting out a pained whine from the back of his throat, “M'head hurts.”

Steve’s body tightens up and he freezes. Eddie looks down to see Steve’s eyes roll back. “No, no fuck no. Baby,” Eddie’s hands cup his face. “Stevie, come on, come back to us. Robs-” Eddie looks over at the others. Hopper is rushing out of the room as Robin is climbing into the bed to hover right by Steve, she was humming Steve’s favorite song under her breath. The kids were all hushed frantic whispers between them and Eddie felt tears fall down his face. He lets go of Steve’s face to completely wrap himself around Steve.

It feels like hours have passed when Steve’s body goes limp in his hold and he makes a little hum. “Wah-? Bah-bee,” he slurs out and Eddie’s heart nearly gives out. Steve woke up. He’s okay, he woke up.

His breath is far too quick to really be a comforting presence to Steve. “God, Steve, oh thank god,” Eddie murmurs and presses a kiss to Steve’s forehead. Steve’s hand lazily goes towards Robin and she instantly takes it as he leans more into Eddie.

“Space, give him space,” Robin orders as she clings onto Steve’s hand. Eddie doesn’t move from holding Steve but even if he had, he’s not sure Steve would have let him go. “Steve, we’ve got you.” She promises and Eddie locks eyes with her. Both of their faces were covered in tears. Steve lazily nods against Eddie’s chest but he’s not even bothering to open his eyes. Robin lets out a tiny little sob before she clears her throat. “You should- try to sleep, okay?” And he nods again but he’s still clinging onto Eddie.

Eddie bites his lip, trying to figure out what to do when Steve’s mom interrupts his thoughts. “Eddie, get into the damn bed with my son. He obviously doesn’t want to let you go.” She huffs and he looks at her but she doesn’t look angry, just tired. He nods and carefully, with a little help from Robin ends up spooning Steve. It only takes a little while before Steve’s breathing evens out and he’s asleep in Eddie’s arms.

The silence is deafening and he finally looks up to see an emotion on Robin’s face. But it’s Dustin who speaks first, “He called you baby.” He points out and Eddie glances at Linnea Harrington. She doesn’t even look surprised. She’s glancing at Steve and the door like she’s waiting on someone.

Eddie cleared his throat, “he was confused.” He lied and then he glanced at Robin. She was just staring at him jaw slacked.

“He wanted you. He wanted your comfort!” Dustin’s voice was rising in volume and Eddie wasn’t sure he had the energy to fight with him. “I knew him! I- he still knows me! Maybe not as much but he knew me! But he wants you. He wants... why can’t I- why-” Dustin headed out the door and Eddie realized; it wasn’t that Dustin even cared what Steve called Eddie. It was just that Steve didn’t want him. Dustin and Steve were brothers and yet he went for the person who was a stranger to him instead of Dustin.

Robin looked after Dustin but it was Lucas that left the room after Dustin. “I get it,” Max whispered and Eddie glanced over at her. “I- Dustin. He has a point. We all… he knew- he remembered us slightly but it was more than you guys and yet… yet he still goes for your hand to hold. He’s our brother but he doesn’t remember that.” She says and she’s picking at a string of her shirt. Robin sighed and Eddie looked up at the ceiling. But neither of them had the chance to say anything before a doctor followed by Hopper enter the room.

Eddie did his best to give them room but Steve, even in his sleep was clinging to him and Robin. “This is a good sign,” he grinned and Eddie wanted to hit him.

“How could Steve having another seizure be a good thing?” Max snapped and Eddie agreed with her.

The doctor smiled, “Well, Steven will always suffer from seizures but if he’s starting to react to things from before, it means that he’s on the road to recovery. I believe you’ve been talking to Dr. Owens about a way to speed up the process?” He asks and Eddie zones him out to focus on Steve. Steve who had called him baby. Even if he had sounded high and confused. He had wanted Eddie and had called Eddie baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie didn’t mean to fall asleep; he didn’t realize he’d be able to honestly. But he hadn’t been sleeping well since Steve’s accident and being wrapped around Steve was what he needed. So, Eddie drifted off and when he woke up El was at the foot of the bed with a bandana over her eyes. The radio was all static and Eddie, Robin, and Max were the only ones in the room with Steve this time. Eddie locked eyes with Robin who looked seconds from passing out. She was sitting up and every time her head started to dip, she shook her head and focused on El. Eddie reached out and grabbed her hand, making her jump. She looked over at him and had tears forming once again. He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her hand to make her smile.

Eddie didn’t know how long it was until El was pulling the bandana from her face, letting it dangle around her neck. She wiped the blood from her upper lip. “He’s- it’s like a-” She starts, “It’s all there but… it’s like it’s in murky water.” She says, “I tried to bring it to the surface but I couldn’t do that. It’s more like… when you throw something into the water and it takes a while to come back to the surface.” El bites her lip, “There are certain things coming around faster but some things that have sunk to the bottom.” She sighs and stands on shaky legs. “I will go grab the others.” She says and heads out of the room before Eddie can argue that maybe one of them should since she looks tired.

Sighing, Eddie sits up and lets Steve’s hands stay bunched into his shirt. “We’ll get him back.” Robin murmurs and Eddie looks over at her.

But Steve steals his attention from her. He’s waking up, stretching out, and letting go of Eddie to blink up at them. His eyes are the same brown and Eddie wishes he could’ve seen exactly what was in Steve’s head right now. Steve makes a small noise and rests his head on Eddie’s thigh instead of the pillow. . “Baby,” Steve says and Eddie looks down to see him already looking up at him. He reaches up and grabs Eddie’s neck. Eddie can’t stop the smile as he’s dragged down in a familiar move so Steve can press their lips together. “Morning,” Steve’s eyes twinkle as he lets go of Eddie, and Eddie’s eyes are wide.

“Um,” Eddie tenses up as he sees Robin and Max just staring in shock. Steve’s face goes red and Eddie’s not sure what to do. “When did- what the fuck?” Robin blurts and Steve looks lost for a moment. The look of confusion that has become increasingly familiar to Eddie.

Steve looked back up to Eddie his mouth forming an oh. “Surprise,” Steve whispers and he’s slow to sit up and slide right next to Eddie. Robin is cut off from the door opening and the party coming in. All of them once again together. Will’s got a small box in his hands and his eyes are bouncing around the room as Dustin has puffy eyes from tears and Lucas’s arm around him. “Hey,” Steve says and he’s grabbed Eddie’s hand, playing with the small green ring on his finger.

“Hey, kid,” Hopper says and soon enough Linnea is taking her spot next to Steve’s side with Hopper and Joyce. And the kids take over the other side of the room. Nancy standing behind Robin with her hand on her shoulder. “Sounds like we can’t speed the process along,” Hopper says and Steve shrugs. “You doing okay?”

Steve glances at Eddie and looks confused before he looks at Robin and then Dustin. “No,” he breathes out and everyone is shocked at the truth falling from Steve’s lips. “But- But I think certain things are starting to click.”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut, “I- there’s a haze and it makes my head hurt but I remember some things. Like I would rather die than make Robin cry and that if I reach out, she’ll take my hand.” He says and Robin nods like a frantic bubblehead. “Dustin is my brother, and if he needs me, I need to be there for him. That he likes his hair ruffled and physical affection lately.” He explains and Eddie watches something in Dustin break at Steve’s words. Then Steve was looking at him, “And I love you.” He says like it’s simple and Eddie feels the words like a knife. His hand goes limp in Steve’s. “I enjoy waking up next to you,” he murmurs and Eddie has to close his eyes as he feels like he’s going to cry. As if all he can do is cry. The room is silent and Eddie’s entire body is shaking. “But- but Robin, she told me that-” Steve says and it’s like he’s trying to backtrack.

“I love you too, Stevie,” Eddie says because he had to.

Eddie takes a deep breath before meeting Steve’s worried gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve asks.

“You didn’t tell anyone,” Max points out and Eddie shrinks a little. Eyes jump to everyone in the room but no one looks angry. No one looks disgusted. They just look hurt… pity on their faces.

Eddie forces himself to hold Steve’s hand again. “Because it was new and I- I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. It’s difficult to tell someone that they’re dating a man when they thought they were straight until only a few weeks ago.” He says softly and his shoulders sag, “After all, I don’t think I’m the one you pictured to have your life with. And we decided to keep it quiet just for a little while to just bask in it before we told anyone. And then I was worried no one would even believe me. I didn’t want to look like I was trying to just take advantage of the situation.” He was starting to ramble but no one was saying anything. “I- I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t do anything. I did my best to ignore it and pretend that I was your friend because I was just your friend up until four days ago.”

“Eddie,” Dustin cuts him off and Eddie’s gaze snaps over to him. “I think- I’m not really surprised after- after this.” Dustin moves forwards and hands Eddie the notebook. “It’s filled,” Dustin smiles and he looks at Steve. “I’m your brother, don’t forget it again.” He orders but his voice isn’t harsh. Steve gives him a small smile with a nod. “I’ll give you five minutes,” Dustin states, and suddenly the room is empty of everyone but him and Steve.

Eddie carefully looks at Steve and then at the notebook. “Here,” he hands the book over and Steve just stares down at it. “Before you open it… I just- I need you to know that these past couple of days have really sucked. That I see you but I miss you at the same time.” He explains and Steve just listens to him. “You’ll either get your memories back or you won’t but we’ll all be here no matter what happens. And I,” Eddie held Steve’s hand gently, “I know it’s scary and I honestly hate it. But… I’ll go through it, again and again, to keep holding you. I’ll remind you of who you are every day if I have to. Steve, I love you and so do the rest of the people out there. We care so much and we want to know when your hurt because we care, because we want to help.”

Steve looked away, “But- but what if I keep doing this? What if my memory will always be touch and go? You heard them, Eddie. I’ll keep losing myself. I- I can’t even drive anymore. You want me to leach off of you forever?”

Tears flowed from Eddie’s eyes. He wiped them from his face and kissed Steve’s forehead. Just a press of the lips before he just rested his forehead against Steve’s. “Steve you will never be a leach. Not when you do so much for us. You’re our friend so that means no matter what, we take care of each other.”

Steve sniffles, “I can’t ask you to-"

“You didn’t. I offered my love freely, sweetheart.” And Eddie was a little nervous as he taps at the notebook in Steve’s hand. “And I wrote it all down for you.” He murmured, watching Steve’s eyes widen and go shiny as more tears fell. “I asked Dustin to have the others add to it. And I- well, I thought I’d be able to keep filling it out but- but I guess I’ll have to keep buying notebooks to fill out as long as you're still here to read them.”

Steve pulled him impossibly closer, kissing him hard but not dirty. When he pulled back and flipped open the page it was Eddie’s own handwriting. “To Stevie who deserves it written in the stars. Hopefully paper works for now.” Steve reads aloud and his mouth twists as he tries harder not to cry. At the bottom of the page says, “for when memories escape us.” The first page is a picture of him, Eddie, and Robin taped in. “I love you, Steve Joseph Harrington. We all do and I know sometimes you don’t believe us, but it’s the truth. So, I decided to start writing them down.” Steve flips a few pages and sees how there is a different picture on every other page. And further along, you can see how the writing style changes. Robin, Dustin, Hopper, Nancy- everyone wrote in it. More than once. Their love on paper for Steve to hold on to forever.

Eddie clears his throat, “We all- I guess- I guess one notebook fills up fast when we love you so much.” Eddie smiles and he can see the amazement on Steve’s face as he realizes the entire thing's full. “You can help me pick out the next one” Eddie winks and Steve throws his arms around Eddie. Eddie holds him close, knowing that this man was worth the world. And Eddie would continue to do his best to give it to him.

And as the weeks pass, they continue to fill up a journal. Only Steve also adds things. Says it’s because he knows he'll trust himself. And Steve does remember some things. Big things first. A huge fight with his parents after he graduated. Russian Torture. Sitting across from Robin in Starcourt bathrooms. Losing Hopper. Telling his mom everything. Max floating above him in the sky. The bats tearing into Steve's sides. The first battle with Vecna and the second. Carrying Eddie out of the Upside Down. Standing between the kids and the basketball team. The monsters coming out of the cracks in the ground. Taking the hit for Robin. Getting the news about his condition.

Then smaller things. Like Dustin helping him fill out his application for Starcourt. Helping the kids break into the movie theater. Baking with Mike and Holly when he was babysitting. Taking Robin to school in the morning. Eddie shoving him against the wall in the boat house. Max having him read her letter out loud so he knows how much she cares about him. Dancing with Robin, Nancy, and Eddie in the living room of his house. The four of them trying to find a place for them. Waking up next to Eddie.

He might never fully remember. Or he might have another episode that makes him start over. But they’re working together now. Robin and Steve write everything down in a book with the closest dates they can muster. Nancy getting Steve to start daily journal entries. The kids bothered him with board games instead of rides. Showing up on their bikes and eventually in Mike’s car when he gets his license. They’ll still move out of Hawkins, the four of them. But for now… now their acting as a family because they have to.

#welp there it is #I hope you enjoy it #hurt eddie munson #hurt steve harrington #hurt robin buckley #hurt/comfort #steddie #steddie fic #platonic stobin #platonic with a capital p #memory loss #Steve Harrington has head trauma #the party is a family #Dustin is Steve's brother #everyone loves steve #ronance

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