#anyone can become disabled
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#vaccines save lives#covid 19#long covid#yup#welp#welcome to the disability club#anyone can become disabled#mask up
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tumblr users will have the most inaccessible, unreadable, low contrast, flashing carrd you can possibly imagine, with a dni full of insider acronyms with no translation and numerous link buttons labelled with cryptic captions, and then go ahead and put “ableists dni and kys!” on that carrd
#yeah i’m bitter about carrds becoming so hostile to disabled people#nobody with vision issues or photosensitivity or processing issues or epilepsy or memory issues could possibly read your carrd#small changes like proper colour contrast between background and text can make a world of difference in making your page accessible#even just spelling out the acronyms in your dni or mentioning WHERE a mysterious link will actually lead is so helpful#i see so many links that are just random literary quotes that turn out to lead to a mandatory dni. how would anyone know that??#txt#accessibility#1000
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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Once upon a time, in Rufflechat, someone asked a pretty common and boring question. The question was if you could wear ballet flats in lolita fashion. This is a very common question and the thread normally would have a very low comment count. However, something different happened on this one.
Someone that I have always remembered as the Ballet Flat Spammer got involved. Everyone who did not have 100% support of ballet flats, in all situations, was responded to with the same copy-and-pasted comment, accusing that commenter of ableism.
Since there are many people who are disabled in the lolita community, this was met with responses such as, "I'm disabled, need to wear specific shoes because of my disability. Ballet flats are not the right choice for me for many coordinates. There are better lolita options than ballet flats, which can still fill the physical capabilities that ballet flats offer." The Ballet Flat Spammer, however, persisted.
And I watched some people who are not disabled (not yet disabled) have a very bad take on the whole situation. However, they also did not seem to know that this was a very bad take. The take was, generally, "it's okay to wear ballet flats, if you're disabled."
Over eleven years ago, I was diagnosed with pretty severe bipolar disorder. The medications that I'm on to control that have always had an impact on my body. While I quickly came to terms with this, and eventually got okay with the idea of having a psychiatric disability, I always considered my body to be mostly healthy. Over the past two years, however, I've had to reconsider that state several times. I've had to go from "Injured, but will heal," to "inoperable, but will be able to have a normal life," to "physically disabled, maybe one day won't be, maybe." Changing this part of how I think about myself has been more difficult than any of the actual pain and loss of ability that I've experienced.
Everyone's ability level is different. I can't speak for everyone, and I can't even begin to. But being able to say this about myself has really solidified something in my head that I had been thinking for a long time.
One of those things is that, "ballet flats are okay, but only if you need them for a disability," is absolutely ableist as fuck. It may not feel that way. After all, you're including the disabled people. You're making this more inclusive, right?
Here's where the problem sits: people who are disabled do not need people who are not disabled to make rules that apply only to disabled people. What disabled people need is for people who are not disabled to listen to disabled people when they say what they need.
Fashion and comfort have always had a complicated relationship. This relationship affects everyone, regardless of ability level. This goes back as far as fashion has existed. Every single person has a time where they say, "this is less comfortable, and I will still wear it," and times when they say, "this is too uncomfortable for me to wear." Many abled people make this decision based on what comfort level they want to feel, while many disabled people have to make this decision based on what they physically, mentally, or psychiatrically are capable of. Abled people often say they won't wear something in a certain situation, where disabled people often find that they can't wear it (possibly in any situation).
The problem is when we have to start making rules about the fashion that impact other people. And, with a fashion that is as rule-driven as lolita fashion, this does have to happen sometimes. We sometimes make rules that not everyone is comfortable with, and we sometimes make rules that not everyone can reach. Lolita fashion has never been the most affordable fashion (despite my best efforts), and it's never been the most comfortable fashion.
But here's the thing: disabled people who are involved in lolita fashion are people who want to wear lolita fashion. Someone who is in the body that is disabled is much more aware of what they want and what they need than anyone else can ever be. And they know what they need, and what they're able to do.
And this means that many disabled people will find creative ways to solve their problems and accommodate their disabilities. A lot of people who are disabled will come up with ways to make lolita fashion comfortable and safe that abled people could never come up with.
If you look at people on Closet of Frills or another coordinate-posting site, you're going to find many more "I love how you incorporated your cane/walker/braces/crutches/any other visible disability aid into your coordinate," than you'll find, "sorry but your coord is ruined by showing your disability." When you let disabled people incorporate, or hide, their disability, they're going to do it much more effectively than any person without that disability will be able to.
And that means that, "I wear ballet flats with this coord, because I'm disabled and need to," and "wearing ballet flats is okay if you're disabled," both demonstrate the same physical effect on the coordinate, but are so massively different in what they're actually saying about inclusion and ability.
Also, when you listen to people who are disabled, you often find solutions to problems that you have. Someone who can't wear heels finding cool lolita-usable shoes without heels will help you if you just find heels uncomfortable. You can learn from us. You can find that people who must solve a problem can have better solutions than people who kind of would like to solve the problem.
And for what it's worth, people who need to accommodate comfort or safety in their coords are not required to tell anyone that they're disabled, or about the accommodations that they have to make for that disability. Some people share it, and some people don't. If you want to be inclusive, one thing you can do is to provide concrit (when asked) as if you're critiquing someone who isn't visibly disabled. This gets back to the concept of letting disabled people tell you how to address their disability, instead of making assumptions about what they want. You can provide concrit on an outfit, instead of just commenting on the wearer's wheelchair. If someone says that they don't want concrit on an element of the coord, don't concrit it, even if you really like it or feel like it takes away from the look. This is a thing to respect even if you can't tell if a person is disabled or not.
So, when someone says, "I did this in my coord, to accommodate my disability," listen and learn from it. In all aspects of your life, supporting someone by listening to what they say they need provides more support than assuming that someone needs something. Respect that not everyone has the energy to hold your hand and guide you through every step, so you can use research and past judgement to help you be accommodating without needing a constant feedback from that person. Just be ready to change what you're doing based on what you've been told.
That was a really long way to say that it's ableist for a not disabled person to say that ballet flats are okay in lolita for the disabled to wear, but not ableist to respect a disabled person accommodating their disability by wearing ballet flats.
#to everyone who isn't (yet) disabled reading this:#be aware that most disabled people might have a preference for one or the other#ask someone if you're not sure#and accept that if you're corrected that you can take the correction without complaining or fighting#also pretyt much anyone can become disabled at any time so maybe care more about disability rights#egl#disability in egl#20dollarlolita pep talks
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forgive any incomprehensibility but the notion that the world can be cleanly split between the two immutable categories of 'the neurotypical' and 'the neurodiverse' ignores the reality that any person can at any point for any reason be arbitrarily 'diagnosed' by a 'professional' and shuttled between categories with no regard for the notions of 'accurate traits' or 'specific symptoms'. nice dichotomy what lies outside of it? you understand me?
#N posts stuff#i'm reading some old issues of 'Phoenix Rising' and a line in one of the articles really caught me#''we are questioning the very foundation of psychiatry which uses mental illness; which is often just behavior that is judged strange#by some usually conventional middle-class-standard of morality''#also thinking about that post i reblogged yesterday claiming that 'posture sway' is a Symptom of adhd like.#Embracing the pathologizing of average behaviors VS the like. weaponizing of diagnoses against 'undesirables'#idk am i making sense? lol#like people talk about this re: disability - the notion that anyone can become disabled at any time but that's usually in the context#of like. 'anyone is one bad accident away from being disabled' but Neurodiversity in particular does not even require that much#another Phoenix Rising tells the story of a woman who like. got a little sick at work and diagnosed as 'stress' and prescribed a#heavy tranquilizer that caused side effects no one had told her about; she got confused at her appointment and her subsequent#panic got her involuntarily committed as psychotic where they upped the medications and gave her ECT until the combo#caused so much brain damage that she seized and died. bc she threw up at work one day. the categories are not immutable and#the people who define them have agendas. who benefits from buying into this dichotomy? you understand what i'm saying?#anti psychiatry
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#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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Any advice for taking painkillers (ibuprofen/non-nsaid and non-narcotic) when hard to eat?
#advice needed#also how much do you need to eat to protect your health when taking ibuprofen#also considering just finishing off the last of my percocet but idk if its a good idea i mean what if#what if i get some sort of disease and also get shot and stabbed you know#im very paranoid about using limited resources when i dont know if current issues will get worse or new issues will require them more#doctors should give out opiates like candy again and not just to very old people#like ok sure i can become an addict or more likely without i can experience acute pain go into pain shock and die#and even if i dont die i dont think i or anyone else deserves to suffer for no reason#painkillers should be more widely available you should not have to engage with drug dealers just for pain relief#but the unfortunate truth is some people with seriously debilitating and painful problems do have to resort to less than legal means#if they dont want to just suffer into suicidality#being in pain all the time makes living seem super overrated#dealers overcharge and are not always a safe source because they cut their drugs sometimes#doctors and lawmakers should step up and realize its better to risk the creation of an addict than the death of a disabled or sick person#and its better to prescribe more painkillers in a controlled medical environment where patients can be monitored and drugs are pure#than for people in need to have to risk their lives and health#i deserve pain relief goddamnit so do you#anyway tell me what to eat
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This is not a "this kind of disabled person should kill themselves or their experiences with their disability warrants killing themselves" post. People with these illnesses and disabilities can and do live full beautiful lives and deserve to be able to enjoy themselves and live long lives.
This is an "if I gained these illnesses or disabilities because I have family history of them on top of my multiple illnesses and disabilities I likely would die very young without extremely extensive support that I do not and will never have access to and I'm complaining about that" post. That said.
If I get any of the following diseases or disabilities I will just fucking die, actually.
Diabetes
Cancer
Progressive endometriosis or pcos
Rheumatoid arthritis
Alzheimers disease or some other form of dementia
Chronns disease
Any type of non-fatal organ failure
Parkinsons disease
Muscular dystrophy of any kind (I experience atrophy but not dystrophy and I am able to regain muscle mass with a lot of time and work, something not possible for people suffering with most kinds of dystrophy)
Any form of substance abuse or addiction
High cholesterol
High blood pressure
Low blood pressure
Hypo or hyperthyroidism
Any type of seizure disorder
That is all thank you.
#I already have disabilities and illnesses that would massively complicate any of these if I got them#What would be a perfectly manageable condition for anyone else would be fatal to me#Not because I would be upset about it and give up#Though I would be upset#But because if I developed like arthritis or something performing basic functions will become impossible#And I will be fully immobile#So without care that I can not afford and do not have access to I will likely die very fast#disability#chronic illness#chronic health#mental health#mental illness#cripple#cripple punk#disabled
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I'm just constantly on my bullshit these days. brain said fuck you feel everything and think about everything
#nerd alert#i feel like im going thru my midlife crisis early#im 28 years old thinking 'i need to get in better shape so i dont get all run down as i age'#like damn i should get on a workout machine so i can both get swole and also so i dont like. idk end up using a walker at 50#my dad had really bad knees and had at least one knee replacement probably both bc of his 30yrs of factory jobs lifestyle#and because one time he had to snatch his step-grandson out of the path of a moving vehicle and fell hard on his knee when he did#and also probably my insistence on riding around on his back like a pony when i was like 3. i have vague memories of that#sorry dad#anyway i dont have a factory job or kids but i probably will end up diabetic and i just. wanna keep my physical health as long as i can#im like lowkey paranoid about death and it would be cool to worry less about my body breaking down through my own negligence#ik disability can happen to anyone for any reason but i wanna do what i can to keep myself able-bodied#like if i become physically disabled then i become physically disabled but i dont want it to be something that i couldve prevented#just by being less negligent of my own health#that said. i just need a whole new set of teeth like at this point it feels like thats inevitable
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sorry, i just didnt expect Greta to be disabled? she seems like someone who u wouldnt guess is disabled, also from what youve told us of her she seems like shed pretend she isnt but idrk
what the fuck are you talking about im genuinely bewildered. why isn’t Greta “someone you would expect to be disabled” what does that even mean im so confused
#me when casual ableism in my askbox#im not gonna assume malicious intent from anon. obviously. and if this was not an anonymous ask I wouldn’t post it#but whoever you are anon#uh#you know there’s not a specific ‘type’ of people that can be disabled right?#like anyone can be disabled#or become disabled#I feel incredibly patronising even asking this but genuinely I don’t know I#like what#tdn greta
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Guess whos potentially working a triple tomorrow?????????
Im going to transform into my final form if this shit keeps up i swear to god.
#summerly talks#im just. gonna have to tell my boss that. effective immediately. i cant work the weekend anymore#sad because its good money#but this is becoming a fucking pattern and if it does i may actually dive into a fission reactor while singing meltdown ;_;#like. i was okay with the double? my coworker called in because her baby was sick#and she promised me if i couldnt get anyone to cover for my am shift tomorrow she would take it#then at like 9pm i get a text saying. she cant. her baby wont let her leave#and i feel selfish because. she has a baby. but i have cats and luckily i was able to drop by today to pick up my sleepover kit#and also make sure minty had food. (fieldie has an auto feeder so hes okay)#and i just. want to go home#the reality is i cant. i cant go. not unless one of the people i texted gets back to me saying theyll come in#and no one has yet. its 11pm. no one will at this point.#im tired im tired im tired#i dont want to end up like i did at my ladt job. giving away entirely too much of me and destroying myself#ive already lost most if not all of my passion for this job#and when i was younger i dreamt of working with disabled people. i burnt too quick and now im a shell of what i was#but this is the only thing im trained for that would allow me to like. keep my home#maybe if or when i move to brisbane i can look into a different job. do an it course idk. something where there's less people skills needed#i better try to get some sleep orz tonights gonna be a bitch of a thing
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Doctors be like "have you experienced a major life event recently", not considering the possibility that every event in my life has been major so honestly nothing feels important from my perspective
#like last time they asked me this im pretty sure i had just moved states cut off contact with most of my family#turned 18 discovered i was chronically ill and disabled AND was just going to doctors for the first time in my life#despite my crushing anxiety of being anywhere in front of anyone#im pretty sure i have/had agoraphobia but ive never been evaluated for it#i just feel absolutely terrified being in public especially any new places or being alone outside at all#like i cant go places alone but that was what i was doing anyway for doctors appointments#because oh yeah this was during covid too lmao#i kinda forgot because once again nothing seems all that important me#like global pandemic? cool cool can i get some severe isolation with this life threatening virus too? awesome#also yeah covid is still a thing but people dont care anymore#oh yeah i had also just lost my pets and my religion and all of my religious friends. this is the type of stuff i forget#what even counts as a major life event anymore#i think if i was to become homeless get hospitalized or my gf died. those are the only three things i can think of that would shake me rn#nvm there are more now because im thinking about it lol i just think those three are more likely scenarios
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It's a pity when I see a brilliant meta that I 99.9% agree with, but I can't bring myself to reblog it because it calls Ed "Iz-y's abuser"
#izzy critical#i say this as gently as possible but#if anyone is his abuser here it's izzy himself#the shark thing? Is an accurate metaphor to what caused the loss of his leg#he's been emotionally abusing the man he claims to have love for#and he's reaped the consequences#now#becoming disabled should never be read as comeuppance for abusive behavior#but the point is#imperfect victims are still victims#and everything izzy has gone through can be traced back to damage he had caused unprompted
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i kinda wanna make an art post cus its disability pride month but ermmerm not sure
#goldenposting#disability pride month#when people say care about ableism because anyone can become disabled they mean it
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Back At It Day 1:
had a crick in my neck/shoulder, determined not to let it stop me. did some stretches but still felt shit. hit 2.11 miles according to my elliptical, 40 mins of movement, max level 9 (out of 20 oof)
neck and shoulder feel looser, definitely felt weak af and look forward to getting my strength back.
#pt#personal#chronic health#got through the first 3 chapters of phangs#but reading hella slow cuz breathing took precedence lol#i do concede i probably dont have bleaching my hair in me today#my pt is mostly core#but im making sure to add some stuff to help develop the pecs#want my surgeon to be impressed with the ease to sculpt my man chest#can explain how i got to my current physical hell if anyone wants#i have one of those 'you can become disabled at literally any moment' storiea
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Y'all will see videos of blue collar workers doing their jobs in creative, efficient, or cool ways and scream "no unskilled labor!!!!" but I'm willing to bet you'd absolutely change your tune if you knew the worker had a neuro disability
#m/cc#y'all treat people with neuro and/or developmental disabilities so garbage and you don't realize it#if the video title was changed from 'awesome workers on another level' to 'talent from workers with intellectual disabilities'#you'd change from 'that's so cool :D EVERY job involves skill!' to 'that's so cool :') see ANYONE can have skill :')'#can't articulate it well right now but there's so much patronizing when you know someone's mentally disabled. it becomes cute and uplifting#a worker doing their job well is not wholesome and if that changes because you know they're disabled you should examine how you view that#believe it or not mentally disabled people can have talents in the exact same areas as (and for the exact same reason as) everyone else#*you are not better or automatically more capable than someone in an institution or group home or sheltered workshop*#YOU'RE NOT. I think that's what abled people can't wrap their heads around
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