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ticklish-n-stuff · 2 years

Note

omg if youve got time then anything with polysho and tickly kisses 🥺 i am a genius because this idea is adorable /hj

Hide n Seek

I was originally gonna write all 4 of them but the RuiKasa part got a bit longer than what I expected so...oops

But I hope you still like it regardless! :D

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Tsukasa x Rui x Emu x Nene (poly WxS)

Lee: Tsukasa

Ler: Rui

Warnings: Tickles! Tickly kisses! Nibbles!

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Tsukasa was currently on the run, desperate to find a place to hide. Moments earlier, the gang of WonderlandsxShowtime had agreed to play hide and seek. Tsukasa wasn't sure why he agreed...but it's too late to back out now! Especially since Emu and Rui were hunting him down, as well as Nene. Again, not sure why he agreed to that. Then again, the chase did feel a bit exciting...not like he'd ever admit it. As he was running down the hallway he stopped dead in his tracks as he heard footsteps approach him. He quickly scurried over to the nearest room and hid inside a closet. He held his breath as the footsteps got louder...closer...Tsukasa felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Rui and Emu had mentioned that when they got caught they'd have to deal with a punishment, they never specified what kind of punishment but Tsukasa already had a bad feeling about it.

Tsukasa's train of though got interrupet when the footsteps stopped right in front of the closet he was hiding in! He bit his lip, trying to make the least ammount of sound possible. Luckily for him, the footsteps scurried away. Looks like Tsukasa will live to see tomorrow. Atleast he thought so until...

WHAM!

"Found you~!".

Tsukasa emitted the most girlyish scream imaginable when Rui swung open the closet doors.

"WAAAH! H-How did you find me?!".

"I'm just that smart. Plus, you breathe kinda loudly" Rui giggled as Tsukasa smacked himself mentally. "Anyways, now that I've caught you, time for your punishment~!".

Rui looked a bit too excited while saying that, that can't be good. He then swung Tsukasa over his shoulder and threw him on the couch playfully.

"W-wait! We can talk about this!" Tsukasa couldn't help the nervous smile that started to form as Rui loomed over him menacingly. The purple guy only smiled at him mischeviously as he sat on top of the blonde's waist. He then proceeded to lift up his shirt and leaned his head down to plant soft tickly kisses all over Tsukasa's tummy.

"Eep! R-Rui! That tihihihickles!" Tsukasa threw his head back as he giggled uncontrollably at the tickly feeling.

"Well that's kinda the point you dork" Rui giggled as he kept peppering Tsukasa's ticklish tummy with lots of kisses, planting a big one right in his bellybutton. "Muah!".

"EhEEk! Nohoho!! Ruiiii!" Tsukasa whined and softly kicked his legs out. He then covered up his flushed face behind his hands.

"Hey, you can't hide from me~" Rui teased as he pinned Tsukasa's wrists on either side of his head. If he wasn't blushing before he definitely was now, and Rui's teasing smirk certainly wasn't helping! "Hehe gotcha~".

Tsukasa tried to avert his gaze by turning his head to the side, but in the process he left his neck all exposed.

"Don't mind if I do~" Rui leaned down and started to softly kiss along Tsukasa's neck.

"EEK! Wahahait! Dohohon't!" The poor blonde screeched in surprise and tried his best to protect his neck, but with Rui's head in the way it seemed impossible. Rui only giggled in reply, enjoying the giggles and shrieks coming from his boyfriend. He then had the genious idea of nibbling along Tsukasa's ear and that definitely sent him into hysterics.

"GyAH-! AHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAT THAHAT RUI- *snort*" the two of them stopped dead in their tracks. Tsukasa looked absolutely mortified from the snort that came out of him. While Rui only looked at him in ammusement.

"Oh? I didn't know your ears were so ticklish~" Rui giggled as he kept on nibbling on his boyfriend's ear.

"NOHOHO RUI! NAHAHAT THEHEHERE!" Tsukasa screamed and cackled. It really sucked not being able to protect himself, but at the same time he wasn't against it.

"No? Then what about here~?" Rui stopped nibbling on his ear and proceeded to gently hold Tsukasa by the chin. The blonde looked at him confused as he panted from the previous tickles. Rui then leaned down and planted a kiss on his lips, sucking out the lil bit of breath that was left in him. They stayed like that for a while and they probably would've kept going if it wasn't for Tsukasa's lack of oxygen. They broke the kiss apart and panted, mainly Tsukasa, as they looked into each other's eyes.

Tsukasa was the first to break eye contact as he blushed furiously and stuttered over his words.

"W-what the heck was that for?!".

"Well you didn't want the ear nibbles, besides, I didn't hear you complain~" Rui teased as he whispered into his ear, causing Tsukasa to let out those sweet giggles Rui enjoyed hearing so much.

Shortly after, they heard a sharp squeal echo in the house. It seemed to come from...Nene?

"Hehe, looks like Emu found her".

Poor Nene, who knows what Emu has planned for her.

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Tsukasa with ticklish ears is just *chefs kiss*

I mean anyone with ticklish ears is just so adorable~!

Anyways, the RuiKasa brainrot is HEAVY in this fic alsjalsjkajs

#project sekai tickle #colorful stage tickle #tickle fic #tickle #colorful stage #project sekai #fic #colorful stage tickle fic #project sekai tickle fic #tsukasa tenma #rui kamishiro #nene kusanagi #emu otori #lee!tsukasa #ler!rui #poly wxs #ruikasa #ruikasa brainrot

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inkykeiji · 3 years

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I hope this isn’t a tmi type question but u seem really comfy sharing and I just read ur last ask

but I’m basically here to ask how u have achieved what sounds like such a wonderful sex life w ur boyfriend?

I’ve never been able to find anyone who’s into the same shit as me or found the kinda sex I wanna have, how did u find someone who’s into what u are? Did u both just meet and have complimenting sexual preferences by chance, or did u kinda just trial and error together until u found what u both like?

Bc for me (this might be unrealistic idk) when I meet someone like that I’d want it to be natural, i don’t wanna have to show/teach a guy how to fuck me the way I want, it just takes away a lot of the appeal? Like, I want a guy to do what HE wants and just have that naturally be something that I also love.

I know a lot of people say talking and communicating about ur sexual preferences helps a healthy and good sex life, but that just makes me so uncomfortable and takes away the natural spark of it I feel like.

Thank u in advance! No pressure to answer this if it’s too personal!

hello hello!! <33 beware there is a very LONG answer under the cut hehe <3

i hope you don't mind me answering this publicly!!! <33

AH okay! so, the answer lies in a few things. my boyfriend and i began dating in 9th grade, and we've been together ever since (and we just graduated university together right before covid hit, so that should give u a pretty good idea of just how long we've been together for!) which means we've had a LOT of time to try things out, to explore each other's bodies, to learn what the other likes, etc etc etc. i definitely think that this plays a large role in it, just having spent so much time together and having been together for so long, you know?

for us, we got pretty lucky, because we happened to mostly be into the same kinks. but at the same time, since we're each other's only sex partners and have been having sex since we were teenagers, we got to discover a lot of those kinks together. there are definitely a few we don't share (for example i am definitely more kinky out of the two of us and like, he refuses to do anything with knife play; totally understandable) but for the most part they match up.

I KNOW UR GONNA HATE TO HEAR THIS LMAO but communication does play a very big and important role in it all, especially if you're going to be delving into darker kinks/bdsm, you know? you have a responsibility to properly communicate with your partner what you are and aren't comfortable with, to set hard and soft limits, to come up with a safeword, etc etc etc.

for us, for example, he wasn't quite sure about a daddy kink the first time i brought it up. i never pushed him to do it, but eventually he decided he'd like to give it a try, just to see how it goes, and we agreed that if he wasn't comfortable or into it then it was off the table. like that kind of communication is important within a relationship, you know? i also can't expect him to know exactly what i'm into without vocalizing it to him, right?

we gave it a try, and he learned/discovered it's something he really enjoys!!! so there's a certain level of communication and compromise that's necessary there.

i understand where you're coming from with the whole 'i don't want to have to show/teach him how to fuck me'; that makes sense!!! i can totally see why that would take the appeal away from it, especially if it's during the act itself! usually, for us at least, these conversations happen much earlier than the act itself.

but i think what you're more looking for is someone who's experienced!!! do you know what you're into, or have like a general idea of what you're into? i feel like it's kinda necessary to have this conversation with potential partners in advance, that way they know what you like and what you're cool with etc. (and you know what they like + are cool with) and see how much knowledge they have on your specific kinks and work it all out then and there. i can promise you that, from my experience, this does not in any way take away the spark of anything!!! if anything, it builds anticipation!! and it ensures that the sex itself goes fluidly, fun and safe.

this isn't to say that you're not gonna meet someone who's sexual preferences line up with yours!!!! it's very very possible!!! all of the people i know who have good sex have found partners with preferences that align with their own (but they also did all have those conversations about kinks and limits etc!). i think (and you can totally feel free to correct me if i'm wrong!! this is just how i'm interpreting it!!) what you're more looking for is that intense chemistry and compatibility. and you can have and maintain that intense chemistry and compatibility while also having a conversation and open communication about what you are and aren't into, you know? those things can, and do, coexist!! in my humble opinion, if you're a good match, the natural spark of it all will be there regardless. i've been with my boyfriend for an extremely long time, and we still have that. plus, talking about new things to try in bed is something that always gets us both super excited, and we have a tendency to talk about it after we fuck, too. "how was that? did you like this position? (he improvises positions a LOT lmao) was i too rough?" etc.

waaah i hope this makes sense!!!! i'm obviously not a sex health specialist or professional, and i can only give you my own personal opinion based on my experiences but to sum it up:

any relationship is going to require a bit of trial and error and a lot of trust and communication and honesty. it is more than possible to both experience that feeling of natural and fluid sex AND to discuss your preferences. in my case, we got lucky, because we happened to be into most of the same kinks, but we still did (and do) need to talk about them!!! again, if anything, having those conversations makes the sex BETTER, because it goes smoother with less hiccups!! i hope this helps a little <333

#AH SORRY IF THIS WASN'T THE ANSWER YOU WERE LOOKING FOR :(#but my main point is that you can (and most DO) have both #these are just my own honest opinions!!!#also ofc like you can't expect him to be a mind reader you know???#for example: in my case my boyfriend would've never known i didn't like being eaten out if i didn't tell him!! right??#so it's definitely a necessary thing #if it's something that makes you uncomfortable then i think more importantly than anything else you need to uncover WHY u feel like that #and again just to reiterate like; this doesn't mean you aren't going to find someone who naturally lines up with you in terms of preference #in fact tbh i feel like for most people - when they find the right partner they DO match up and that's part of where that 'spark'#comes from yk??? if you have natural chemistry and you're a good match that spark should be something that's already there regardless #I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE JESUS IM SORRY HAHA AAAH #but i hope this helps a little <333 i wish you luck sweetpea!!!#have a lovely sunday and an even lovelier week ahead!!#sending u love n health bb stay safe!!#clari gets mail

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emilycollins00 · 4 years

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hello! i've recently stumbled across your works and i really love your characterization and writing uwu if it's not too much, is it okay for me to request for a scenario where some actors accidentally found out that their director is actually good dancer? like maybe somebody was watching tv and 'hey doesn't that backup dancer look familiar?' ((you can decide on whoever finds out about it and you can also choose to use izumi's name or just write mc)) AAAA thank you very much! ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡

Thank you, dear! 💕 I feel so happy when I read I you guys like it. Sometimes it gets difficult to not fall into OOC!

I opted to choose Izumi, mainly because I don’t think I’ve written anything with her even though I love her so much! As for the actors, well, couldn’t decided wich one so everyone is making an appearance.

Hope you like it! 💕

The dorm discovering Izumi’s dancing skills

“Tenma, hurryyyyy”

“Yeah, yeah... Uh? Hey, who didn’t wash their dishes this morning, it stinks!” the summer leader complained outloud, leaving the kitchen with Misumi with the last chopsticks and glasses to place on the lounge.

Tsuzuru entered and looked at the sink, frowning. Indeed, it smelled awful. He walked towards the couches to get the culprit.

“Itaru-san, don’t ask me why, but I know whatever that was in that plate was yours. Please clean it right now”

“Oh shit, my shield fell”

The man in question was laying next to Kazunari and Banri, all of them most likely playing a battle game, judging by the way they were staring intensely at their phones.

“Itaru-san!”

“Yes, yes, one minute…”

“Dang, Itaroon! You can’t pull something like that to win, I don’t have any more resources!”

Omi put a hand on Tsuzuru’s shoulder when he saw the scriptwriter was about to start scolding them “It’s okay Tsuzuru, we have enough plates. Itaru-san can clean later so dinner doesn’t get cold”

At that moment Juza, Taichi, Muku and Sakuya arrived.

“Ah, Omi-san! After Tenma-kun and Misumi-san finish the table will be set” the cheerily the spring leader informed approaching them.

“At least we get things done quickly, having so many people at Mankai” Tsuzuru smiled tired but gratefully at the four of them “…although it would be quicker if others offered to help from time to time” he looked at the gaming group and a certain pair watching TV.

“Tsuzuru, this program is too important to sip!”

“You mean to skip? Also, I truly don’t think so. That’s one old program you’re watching” he looked around resting his hands on his hips. No one had moved an inch “That indirect was also to the rest of you, you know”

“Noted”

“Aha”

“So you want me to set the table instead of trying to come up for ideas with customes? Fine by me”

Misumi and Tenma entered before an argument could take place “Table’s set. Someone should call Masumi, Sakyo-san and the winter troupe. They were in the practice room with director, right?”

As if by pure summoning, the last spring member arrived, taking off his headphones “…I’m here”

“We are here too!” Tsumugi waved as the rest of the winter troupe entered talking to each other. Their play schedule had been decided and they had had a run through while Izumi and Sakyo discussed the final details for the performance.

“Okay then everyone, time to dig in!”

…………………………..

Everyone sat on their chairs and started moving plates around and refilling glasses with drinks. It wasn’t often, due to the difference in schedules, but some nights the whole dorm got together and opted to eat at the same time. It was a bit of a mess but in the end, everyone had fun.

Citron was still watching silently the TV when he paused it, concerned. Getting up, he headed to the dinner table as everyone ate and talked “Director?”

Izumi looked up, stopping herself from grabbing the delicious tonkatsu in front of her “You called, Citron? Ah, leave the TV and sit, come on. Omi’s food will get cold!” she motioned the chair that was empty.

He did as told, but kept his eyes locked on her “Director I must ask you an important question”

“Uh… ok?”

He nodded as his chopsticks grabbed some rice “Are you maybe a twist?”

Everyone turned to him, confused, but not surprised. The young woman found herself blinking in confusion too “…Twist?”

Masumi nodded in agreement “You can twist my heart anytime you want”

No one even tried to contradict the young boy, still trying to decipher Citron’s meaning.

“I don’t think Citron means twist”

“…Twix”

“Yeah Hyodo sure, Citron meant Twix. I swear your brain is a fucking sugar cube”

“You are sweet like a twix to me, director”

“Ugh, someone tell the Psycho Stalker off”

“Y-yuki-kun!”

“Citron, I don’t think your phrasing is right” Tsumugi laughed as he saw everyone starting to debate.

The foreigner crossed his arms, deep his thought “Mmm… this word is meant to be a clone… of another person! Is it close enough, Tsumugi?”

“C-clone?!” Taichi looked up from his seat, eyes wide open “Director has a clone?!”

“Guys, come on...”

“Mhm… I might be wrong, but maybe Citron meant if our dear director has a twin?”

Citron gasped “Twin, yes! Azuma’s wisdom is as always precise!”

The winter member received the compliment from the blond with a soft laugh as the rest frowned. Sakuya raised his hand from the other side of the table “U-Um! Why do you say that, Citron-san?”

“You have sisters?” Tasuku raised his eyebrows at Izumi.

“Of course not! I’m an only child”

“But that cannot be. I saw you with my two very eyes!”

“Me?”

He nodded seriously, getting up from the chair and turning on the TV again “I will demonstrate now, the director’s clone!”

Izumi sighed. Why couldn’t they have a normal night? Just for once. It was weekday for christ’s sake. The sudden gasps and exclamations brought her back to reality.

“It really looks like Izumi-san!”

“She looks younger though, is it really her?”

“Waaah, director you are moving so beautifully!”

“Wait, seriously?”

Izumi got up and approached the TV screen, concerned for the amount of attention it was getting “Come on, how can I-“

“That is you, isn’t it?” Sakyo pointed the TV with his head.

As everyone came to the realization that it was indeed Izumi. the woman in question stood there, watching her younger self.

“Oh, you meant that!” she sat on the arm of the couch, forgetting dinner and the fact that everybody was still trying to make sense of it. Their director? In TV? “It’s not been that long but... ” she laughed “Might be the one and only time I made it for a play in a performance, come to think of it!”

Kazunari, who was at that point recording the whole situation, turned his phone towards her in awe “I am beyond SHOCK, director! What play? How come we didn’t know you danced so well? Any declarations?”

She pushed the phone away from her, laughing “I did my studies and entered in the dancing club from my university for a change of peace”

“But this amazing choreography? The moves? Not to mention you are totes on TV!”

She looked back at the TV and a smiled appeared. Competing in friendly dancing competitions had been nice at the time “That program shows musicals, right? My university dancing club just happened to want to enter the competition and we decided to do a mute dancing play trying to tell a story without speaking. Forgot it had been recorded then”

Everyone stopped talking and looked at each other.

“…Oh”

“That’s right”

“Director had another life before Mankai…”

“Feels weird to think about it”

Izumi blinked confused. Of course, she had tried to make a life outside of acting! It had been rough, but she had had to come to terms with herself that she had to move on, at the time.

“Ey, ey, director let’s dance too!” Misumi grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the courtyard. She found herself stumbling to keep up.

“W-whoah, Misumi-kun, we haven’t finished eating!”

He laughed releasing her as he tried to copy what they all had watched “That looked fun! What other dances did you do?”

Izumi laughed at his excitment.

“Well, there was nothing specific…?” she listed a few songs on the top of her head. The rest of the dorm gathered around the frames of the courtyard, watching curiously.

“I also want to see director’s dancing!”

“Anyone has a phone?”

“On it~”

“Enough! Why are you…” Sakyo came out too, ready to start scolding when one of the songs mentioned before started playing and saw Izumi’s bright face.

It was as if some kind of adrenaline had been injected into her, enough to make her body start moving along the music, not a single movement being wasted.

It had been a while.

………………………………

“Oh my, such a stunning view… the turning of grand jetes! If this moment was to be engraved…”

Hisoka frowned next to him “Arisu… you’re too loud. Can’t enjoy it”

“Director… is really good!” Sakuya was practically beaming as he watched Izumi moving around “She looks like a fairy!”

No one there disagreed. Her movements flowed, taking away the breath of every person in that familiar audience. Izumi had never been able to act well, but somehow her dancing expressed more than she could in a play.

Omi smiled at the view and crossed his arms “A pity I left the camera in my room” he looked at his left and saw how Sakyo looked at her.

The blond’s eyes followed her figure entranced, not moving an inch.

A few minutes later, Izumi stopped, breathing heavily after song. She looked up, greeted by a big amount of applause. Were those claps for her? Her cheeks grew hot. She didn’t remember last time she got an applause and smiled bashfully.

“Fufu that was wonderful, Izumi-san”

“Epic. I think I just fell in love all over again, director! Gonna need to post the clip on my instablam!”

“Not bad. I guess currian has another thing she’s good at, uh”

“Well, if we ever have a dancing play, now we know who to ask for notes, isn’t that right, Tsuzuru?”

Taichi gasped in excitement looking at the scriptwriter “Oh man, I definitely want to do a dancing play now, girls would love it!”

Of course, as theatre fanatics as they were, the conversation headed into their future performances.

“Maybe like a musical?”

“But dancing as you act is…”

“I want to do a triangle dance in our play!”

Izumi laughed, gaining everyone’s attention “Okay, okay, this is enough. Let’s go back and finish dinner. Can’t believe you all tricked me to dance in front of you, geez” she still felt her breath uneven from the workout.

“But you did look beautiful out there, director” Tsumugi smiled as he pushed a complaining Taichi and entranced Masumi inside.

Tasuku sighed as he watched everyone returning to their normal behaviors “Well, I guess we must thank you are more an acting addict than a dancer” he sent a small smile to Izumi, placing a hand on her shoulder and going inside to help the adults tame the youngest.

Izumi was about to follow when she heard Sakyo’s voice from behind “You danced well”

“Ah, Sakyo-san, thanks”

He dropped his eyes momentarily before looking at everyone going back to finish dinner inside “…Think you will miss it? Dancing like that”

Izumi lifted her head up and closed her eyes, enjoying the night’s breeze. She had set it aside for so long she hadn’t really been able to think about it.

Dancing to her was like turning back the clock, returning to a previous life that might have been good. However, she had always felt something was missing.

She smiled tenderly. Just thinking about everyone at the dorm made her heart go warm.

“It’s become a good memory to keep”

She tore her gaze away from the night sky to smile at him, assuring him that she was being honest to those words just said.

True. She had loved dancing, but theatre? Ah.

That was her life.

_________________________________________________________

I enjoyed it a lot, hopefully, you guys did too. Have a wonderful day! 💕

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ruination-fangs · 6 years

Text

Jude Stage 3: A Forest, A Fence, and the Trespasser

* from Asteria’s fourth chapter, “Recollections of Eden”

[<- stage 2] [stage 4 ->]

fasten your seatbelts because this is a looong ride

Scene 1

On the road to Shongreiss, Jude remarks that the cats have been very well-behaved. They had been sleeping in Ludger's arms, but suddenly they wake up and begin to struggle, mewling. They jump free and run off into the forest.

Following them, Jude and Ludger find a whole colony of cats in the woods, and understand why their cats ran off. There are plenty of kittens among them, and they all seem relaxed. Jude and Ludger wonder if they live there, and then Jude suggests that maybe it would be better to leave the cats there than keep struggling to find them an owner. They might be happier living freely with their companions than on their own stealing food, or with a person. They look at how excited the cats seem to be and how easily they fit in, and Ludger agrees.

He decides to let the cats stay, saying he'll explain to the people who would have taken them. Jude starts to propose they come visit the cats sometime, but then they get distracted by the sight of a fence deeper in the woods.

It seems be one of the White Lions' "restricted zones." They were so absorbed in the cats that they didn't notice how close they'd gotten. Jude thinks that they should be fine, since they haven't gone inside, but Ludger warns that it's better not to approach no-entry areas at all. The White Lions might not be very forgiving. Jude sees his point, and heads back the way they came in, hoping to get out before anyone notices them.

They don't get far before a noise catches their attention, and a guard gives the order not to let "the intruder" get away. Afraid that they mean them, Jude and Ludger take off.

Scene 2

The guards continue to search for the intruder, splitting up and moving faster. Jude watches them go with some relief, though he and Ludger know they still need to be careful.

Jude suggests they just come forward and explain, since they haven't done anything wrong, but Ludger is worried the White Lions won't believe them if they already think them to be trespassers. Suddenly a voice next to them agrees.

???: Too true. They're a real hard-headed bunch.

Jude and Ludger cry out, and the stranger tells them to keep it down. She came there to hide until the hubbub dies down and doesn't want their shouting to alert the guards.

Ludger: Wh.. Who are you? ???: I'm so glad you asked! I'm thrilled to introduce you to the wise sorceress who travels the eleven seas, the great magician, the illustrious...

???: Mazhigigika Miludin do Din Nolurun Dou! Or for short- Jude: Oh, Magilou... Ludger: You know her? Jude: I wouldn't say that... We met once, at the festival- Magilou: Oho! You're that one guy, from that one time...! What a stroke of luck to meet you here. I have no idea who you are, but wow! Jude: ...My name is Jude. I was with Colette and her friends... Does that ring a bell? Magilou: Ohh, the handsome fellow with the beautiful flower on each arm! I remember you. Actually, I never forgot! Ludger: Funny that you can't seem to commit to anything you say... You don't seem to be a knight, so who exactly are you? Magilou: Oh, you want to hear it again? Well, if the audience insists, who am I to turn them down? Once more... The wise sorceress who travels the eleven- Ludger: I got that part! Your name is Magilou. You call yourself a witch...* Magilou: Heh heh... Not just any witch, a great witch! Ludger: So what's a witch doing out here? Magilou: That... is a maiden's secret! Jude: It's something you can't speak of? Don't tell me... Magilou: But you're trespassers yourselves, are you not? Jude: N-No, we're not. We just accidentally got a little close. Magilou: Meeee too! And then I got caught up in all this trespassing business. Can you believe? Ludger: ...Shh! The guards are back! Hold your breath!

The guards return, afraid they’ve lost the trail, but they figure it shouldn’t be that difficult to find such a “flashy, strange-looking woman” - especially because you can recognize that “pointed hat” from a mile away. They continue their search.

Jude: A flashy, strange-looking woman... Ludger: ...In a pointed hat... Magilou: Wow. What an amazing coincidence! Jude: Don't play dumb with us. You're the intruder! Ludger: So they weren't looking for us at all. Magilou: Ah, well. We can debate that another time. Now that we're here, why don't we work together? A bunch of people with guilty consciences... Not a bad idea, right? Jude: Guilty con- We didn't do anything wrong! Ludger: Yeah. It might be better for us to hand Magilou over and tell them what happened. Magilou: And you think they'll just take your word for it? Jude: I'm sure it'll be fine if we're honest about it. Magilou: Will it, though? Even when I testify that you're my bestest buds? Jude: You wouldn't... Magilou: And anyway, even if you can prove your innocence, they'll probably put you through a loooong interrogation first. Days... Maybe even years... By the time you're released, you could have lost your job, your home, your whole life. Jude: But that's...

Ludger reluctantly admits he thinks they should cooperate with her. She's probably right that the White Lions won't believe them, when they're already in such a suspect spot. Right now their best option is to leave; if they want to turn Magilou in, they can still do it once they're safely away.

Jude asks Magilou if she has a plan, and in fact she does... not. She's banking on the idea that three heads are better than one, and if they put theirs together they'll think of something. Ludger tells her to quit joking around, because it's only a matter of time before the guards find their hiding spot. They need to find a gap in the line of defense and run for it.

But Jude says that won't work, either. He's been watching the guards, and determined that their movements have been precisely calculated to cover a wide area with a small number of people. Even when a gap appears for a moment, it's always blocked farther ahead. The White Lions know exactly what they're doing.

However, the system is fragile enough that if any part is altered, the whole thing breaks down. For example, if the nearest guard alone wasn't there, they'd have a window to sneak through. Ludger asks Magilou if she can handle it; she said she's a magician, so she ought to have something up her sleeve. Magilou says that's a pretty tall order for a magician who peddles flashy gimmicks... but no problem for a great witch.

Guard 3: Is that...paper? No, it has a face... What in the world...?

Guard 3: Eek! There's more!? They're coming at me...!

The guard flees, leaving a gap for them to pass through. Jude is disconcerted, though Magilou claims it was only some ordinary, magically-animated paper. It's no trick, just mysterious and uncanny.

They take the opportunity to slip away from the patrol, and don't see anyone following them.

Magilou: Just as Jude said. Gotta love a man who makes himself useful. Jude: All I did was observe their movements. It's thanks to you that it worked so well. Magilou: Oh, and humble, too... One can't tell whether he's brimming with confidence, or not!

As the edge of the forest comes in sight, Jude cries a warning. Something shoots from the trees and stabs Magilou's hat - a shuriken. A voice nearby remarks that to have avoided that, they must not be just anybody.

A girl reveals herself, telling them not to take a step further. Ludger is afraid they've run into the White Lions, but then another woman appears.

???: Suzu, it's dangerous to throw shuriken around like that. You could really hurt someone. Magilou: Yeah, like me! That nailed me right in the head!! ???: Oh no! Are you okay?! Let me heal you! Suzu: Don't listen to her, Estelle. I only hit her hat. Estelle: ...Really?

Magilou asks if they were just waiting for them to come out there all defenseless so they could capture them, which Suzu takes as confirmation that they are criminals on the run. Still, Estelle thinks she shouldn't be so reckless; she might hurt someone innocent. To the others, she explains that they're with the Rolando Family, vigilantes from a nearby village. They got word from the White Lions about the trespassing situation and came to help. Magilou wants to know if refusing that kind of request would be considered treasonous, but Suzu sees no point in talking to them.

Jude: Wait! Don't we get to defend ourselves? They're chasing us over a misunderstanding. It was all Magilou's... Magilou: Waaah, Jude?! I thought we were stalwart companions, brought closer by the many hardships we've faced together! Ludger: Why do you keep trying to drag us into this? Magilou: The more the merrier, right? Moreover, look. There, right behind them... monsters!

While Suzu and Estelle are distracted, Magilou slips away again. Ludger encourages Jude to follow, but before they get anywhere Suzu points out that she's scattered caltrop across the ground. They can no longer run. Magilou comes back to try to move them along, and Suzu insists on not playing nice anymore, though Estelle still objects to how rough she's being.

Magilou: Sheesh, out of the frying pan and into the fire, huh? Jude: Hold on! Okay, maybe we shouldn't have just run, but we don't want to fight! Suzu: You can't talk your way out of this. I'm not letting my guard down around you.

Jude dodges another projectile, and Suzu is further convinced that they're no average citizens, to avoid her shuriken so easily. Ignoring Jude's pleas for her to wait, she attacks.

Scene 3

Though injured, Suzu still refuses to give up on her mission. Estelle, Jude, Ludger, and Magilou all ask her to calm down and listen, because no one else wants anyone to get hurt over this, but Suzu won't budge. She throws another shuriken at Jude, and he nearly trips trying to dodge.

Suzu: There's no point in asking for mercy from your enemies. We're on a mission! Ludger: I don't know what this mission of yours is, but we didn't set foot in the restricted zone. Magilou: That's right, it wasn't me! All three of us are innocent! Jude: Magilou...

Suzu still isn't interested in talking. Estelle wants to hear them out, but Suzu thinks they'll run again as soon as they get the chance, or else lie. Jude insists they'll stay and explain everything if Suzu will just listen before judging them.

To compromise, Estelle suggests escorting them to the Rolando Family's base, so they can explain the circumstances to their leader. Suzu reluctantly agrees. Estelle promises they won't report anything to the White Lions until after hearing their leader's decision, and Suzu promises that if they try to escape on the way there she won't be talked into going easy on them again.

Jude, Ludger, and Magilou agree to those terms, thinking it's probably their best shot at avoiding any more trouble. As they leave, Suzu asks Estelle to take the lead, so she can bring up the rear and watch her prisoners.

Ludger: This kid is determined not to trust us... Let's hope their leader is more understanding. Jude: Yeah...

They head toward the village.

* if you're thinking "but she never called herself a witch" - you're right, the word for "witch" was originally translated as “sorceress”. i kept both here because berseria actually does the same thing.

#tales of asteria #asteria spoilers #jude mathis #ludger will kresnik #magilou (tob)#suzu fujibayashi #estellise sidos heurassein #translations #i'm still not over her flirting with jude #why??#i mean i would too but... why???#long post (under cut)

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seigyokus · 7 years

Text

8.3 - A Special Time

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 8.3 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Momo: Alright, let's do it properly! Iorin, lay it out for us! Izumi Iori: Understood. Izumi Iori: Step One: Decide upon a theme. Step Two: Brainstorm more specific ideas. Step Three: Split into our respective groups and attain a firmer understanding of the task at hand.... Izumi Iori: I've calculated the following schedule using the time we have remaining. One hour will be dedicated to deciding on a theme, and we have until the date changes to finish the demo tape.... Izumi Mitsuki: Theme, huh. Since it's a charity telethon, something positive like love would be a good theme! Yaotome Gaku: There are so many types of love, though. Like romantic love, platonic love, familial love, and marital love. Nanase Riku: That reminds me, Re:vale hasn't been doing their married couple comedy act lately.... Momo: Yeah.... We've kinda hit a slump. Izumi Mitsuki: You can hit a slump for that!? Even though Big Brother Re:vale's married couple act is a surefire hit anywhere and always brings in the laughs!? Yuki: There's no need to treat us like entertainers. Nanase Riku: But why did you guys hit a slump? Momo: It got kinda embarrassing, you see....... Nanase Riku: Now, of all times...? Izumi Mitsuki: You're getting embarrassed now, even though you've been doing it for five years......? Nikaidou Yamato: Did you hit a slump too, Yuki-san? Yuki: I didn't, because I'm the one that shoots down the jokes. I am, however, always ready and prepared to shoot them down now. Izumi Mitsuki: So we are talking about you guys like entertainers then.... Momo: If we continue on like this, there's gonna be rumors that we don't get along. How about we lease the act to you guys until we get over our slump? Izumi Mitsuki: So you want us to do the 'Oh, we're super lovey-dovey!' thing too? Sure. Nikaidou Yamato: You're okay with this!? Also, you accepted that way too easily! Who're you even gonna do it with!? Izumi Mitsuki: Someone that won't get drawn in when I say the stuff, but will still get big laughs from the audience? I think if I did it with Riku, it'd just look cute. (1) Izumi Iori: Nii-san, it's fine if idols are cute and nothing more.... Izumi Mitsuki: Honestly speaking, I think TRIGGER would get the most laughs. There'd be a gap, yeah? If I had Yaotome's face I'd totally do it. Yaotome Gaku: Seriously? If you really insist, then....... Kujou Ten: Don't be swayed. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Do you think it'll be funny if I do it? Kujou Ten: Please don't get interested. Yaotome Gaku: MEZZO" should do it, don't you think? They're already a duo, so it works out perfectly. Yotsuba Tamaki: Uh, no....... Osaka Sougo: I don't think we could do it....... Nikaidou Yamato: We'd be the only ones laughing if MEZZO" did it, but I'm sure the audience'd scream their lungs out. Izumi Iori: Listen, it's fine if the audience screams and that's it. We're idols, after all....... Nanase Riku: Why did you decide on that joke in the first place? Kujou Ten: Nanase-san, please don't ask them the same type of questions you'd interview a comedy skit champion with. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Speaking of joke material, I heard you're really good with languages, Nagi-kun. Rokuya Nagi: Why are you bringing that up in relation to joke material? My excellence is no laughing matter. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I was just wondering if people who know a lot of languages are good at picking up dialects too. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I'm from Okinawa, you see. Do you think you can handle Uchinaaguchi? Rokuya Nagi: ....... Rokuya Nagi: There is no language in this world that I cannot learn. Izumi Mitsuki: Really now? Don't force yourself, alright? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Yay! Alright, I'll teach you then. Haisai, chāganjū? (2) Rokuya Nagi: Ha.... Hai-sai? Cha-gan ju? Izumi Iori: And how is this relevant? Nikaidou Yamato: It's love for your hometown. Yaotome Gaku: That's love for your hometown, alright.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I give up.... I'm hungry.... Izumi Iori: See, look! Yotsuba-san is reaching his limit because we haven't done anything!! Izumi Mitsuki: Oh...? "All of this isn't very picturesque and is frankly quite boring, so please decide who will be in charge of making dinner or buying supplies through lots." Momo: Ahahaha! Boring they say, even though there's so many idols gathered here! Osaka Sougo: Oh, thank you very much. I just received the box for drawing lots. Nanase Riku: Wow! It's just like a school trip! Yotsuba Tamaki: You don't really do this kinda stuff on a school trip. Yaotome Gaku: Alright, let's pull in order.

Nanase Riku: I'm in charge of nighttime fun! Osaka Sougo: As am I. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Me too. Are they talking about recreation? How about we do a test of courage? Nikaidou Yamato: So the people in charge of 'nighttime fun' are the ones that don't actually get what it means.... Nanase Riku: What about you, Yamato-san? Nikaidou Yamato: Buying supplies. Man, what a drag. Yuki: What a drag indeed.... I'm looking at the map right now, and isn't the store a little far from here? Izumi Mitsuki: It'll be okay! We'll make it there somehow! Nikaidou Yamato: Mitsu, aren't you directionally challenged though? Yotsuba Tamaki: I'm in charge of making food. Rokuya Nagi: I, too, am in charge of preparing dinner. Momo: Me too. I'm not too good at cooking though.... Yaotome Gaku: I'm gonna be cleaning the baths and laying out the futons. Izumi Iori: So am I. It appears that the baths are hot springs. Nanase Riku: Te-- Kujou-san, what about you? Kujou Ten: ....... Kujou Ten: Background music. Momo: Ahahahaha! That's hilarious!! Do you take requests? Sing a girl idol song! Rokuya Nagi: Oh! I'd like to request anime theme songs. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I'll teach you how to sing Okinawan folk music!

Nikaidou Yamato・Izumi Mitsuki・Yuki: We're home....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: What's wrong!? Everyone looks worse for wear.... Nikaidou Yamato: Mitsu got lost so we fell into some bushes.... Izumi Mitsuki: And then Yuki-san said he didn't want to walk anymore, so we hitchhiked. But after that.... Yuki: The truck driver said that there was a fourth person behind me. A girl..... Yotsuba Tamaki: Ahhhh!! A ghost!! Nikaidou Yamato: We couldn't exorcise her or anything, so we just went 'Yeah, it's fine. Just let her on".... Yotsuba Tamaki: So you brought her here......!! Yuki: It used to happen to me pretty often. Girls would follow me to my house right after concerts. Izumi Mitsuki: I expected nothing less from ya. Yotsuba Tamaki: This isn't the time to be saying that! Do something about it!!

Rokuya Nagi: Oh! Amazing! A lady has come to visit us, I see? We shall prepare dinner for thirteen! Yotsuba Tamaki: So you don't care if they have a body or not as long as they're a girl, Nagicchi......? Momo: That's a model gentleman for you! Vegetable skins come off once you boil them, right? Peeling them is such a pain. Yotsuba Tamaki: A real pain. Rokuya Nagi: Yes. Momo: Alright! Let's chop 'em up, toss 'em in, and boil 'em! And if we throw in some curry roux, we've got curry! Yotsuba Tamaki: Let's add in pudding as a secret ingredient! Rokuya Nagi: We should add in herbs and spices as well! Momo: Amazing! This is the real deal!

Osaka Sougo: I've never done a test of courage before. Just how should we surprise everyone? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Well, since the villa garden is so big, we could try hiding behind trees and going 'Boo!' to startle them. Osaka Sougo: I'll try hanging upside down. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Looks like someone's pretty excited. Oh? Riku-kun, what's the matter? Nanase Riku: You know how Yamato-san and the others brought back a girl? She said she'd help us out with the test of courage! Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: The girl Yamato-san and the others brought back......? Osaka Sougo: Help us out......? Nanase Riku: Like blowing air on the back of your neck! Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Woah! It's true! That was cold air just now......! Osaka Sougo: As expected of a ghost.... I do apologize, but we don't have anything to repay you with.... Nanase Riku: She says that the curry will suffice as repayment, but it's probably a good idea to peel the carrots first. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: That's true. Osaka Sougo: Is she still here? Nanase Riku: She said she'd go to the baths to do a dry run for the test of courage....... Yaotome Gaku: Ahhhhh!!

Izumi Iori: Waaah...!! Yaotome Gaku: The lights cut out all of a sudden and water started coming out! Izumi Iori: Someone just grabbed my leg! Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: She really didn't hold back. Osaka Sougo: Yeah, it's definitely different when it's a real ghost.

Yotsuba Tamaki: I can't take it anymore! I'm going home! I'm telling you, that's why I said I didn't wanna do the test of courage!! Kujou Ten: Look, the he hates it. Don't bully him like that. Yotsuba Tamaki: You're the only nice one here, Tenten.... Osaka Sougo: Sorry. I got a little carried away.... Yotsuba Tamaki: Shut up! Stop hanging upside down!! *sob* *sob* Kujou Ten: Don't cry, it'll be okay. Nanase Riku: Sorry, Tamaki.... Kujou Ten: Is she still here? Nanase Riku: Yeah. Kujou Ten: It's getting late, so you ought to go home. Nanase Riku: She says she doesn't wanna go back. Kujou Ten: You mustn't. We live in different worlds. Kujou Ten: We can't stay together forever. Nanase Riku: ....... Kujou Ten: Tell her we said thank you, and make sure to send her off politely. Nanase Riku: She says she wants to hear a song before she leaves. She used to be a fan of Zero's. Kujou Ten: Of course. I'll sing one of Zero's songs for you. Kujou Ten: Thank you for tonight. Nanase Riku: And so, Ten-nii began singing one of Zero's songs. As he sang, both Tamaki and the girl began to cheer up bit by bit. Nanase Riku: 'We can't stay together forever'-- it's almost as if he was talking about us. Nanase Riku: IDOLiSH7, TRIGGER, and Re:vale are all chasing after their own dreams, and we all live in different worlds. Nanase Riku: We all might be laughing together tonight, but a day like this might never come again. Nanase Riku: Tonight is special.

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

thank u @kuriiii for proofreading!!!!!!!!

I’ll be gearing up and studying for the GRE for the next few weeks, but expect lots of updates after the 15th! I’ll be Actually Free to do stuff, so until then wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and now for the real tl notes...

(1) vague subject wrt last part, the fact that yatsu is written in kanji first and then in kana second is throwing me oFF (2) はいさい、ちゃーがんじゅう？ (uchinaaguchi) --> こんにちは、お元気ですか？ (standard jpn) --> Hello, how are you doing? (english)

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

#idolish7 #アイドリッシュセブン #story3:text #story3:tl #translation

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imsarabum · 7 years

Text

Responses to {Part 27} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received before this IWSY chapter was posted ^^)

P.S I’M SORRY THIS POST IS LATE I AM IN LONDON RIGHT NOW ON EASTER BREAK U-U

Anonymous said: IWSY is the first fanfic I've been reading for so long! Seriously, this is a story like a drug. I'm that type of impatient reader, so I'm curious to know how long you plan to continue this story? When will my life be over?

Thank you for reading it for this amount of time!! But I’m really sorry, I can’t answer your questions because I don’t know myself. I get people always asking me this question but I honestly don’t know xD You guys will know when I do! It probably won’t be for too much longer; we’ll just have to see!! ^^

@btsfanficss said: I'm so excited for IWSY!! Thank you for your hard work and please remember to rest properly ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much bby!! I will try :) but this week is so busy for me and I am currently in London *sweats* lol I hope you have a great week and that you’ll enjoy the new chapter!!

Anonymous said: i binge read I wont stop you, my emotions were all over the place AND IM STILL NOT DONE. you are such a good writer omg. i love you and your writing😚

WAAAh thank you for binge reading it lol! thank you so much you’re so sweet and I love you too deary!! :D

Anonymous said: Girl, I'M READY *DRAMTICALLY GRABS TISSUES* Ps: i read a lot of filipino readers here. Hello guys *waves* -fanfrmph

GRAB THE TISSUES AND HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS! hehe~ Actually I’ve always been interested to know where the majority of people who red my fanfiction live. I wish there was a way I could know without exposing people’s identities hehe~ I hope you’ll enjoy the update tonight love!

@mocking-butts said: It's Tuesday oh god oh god I'm not ready I'm going to sob mumsy what do i do it's Tuesday oh my goodness I'm going to die I'm not ready for this help meeee i hope im not going to die and sob my eyes out even though I will oh god.

aHHHHHH I hope you’ll like it my love please don’t cry!! :c

Anonymous said: heyyy, i just wanted to ask when is the new chapter coming? I rly enjoy reading the fanfic and the storyline is great, can't wait to see how will it develop in the future 🌌💟💟

I upload new chapters of IWSY every Tuesday evening between 9pm and 10pm UK Time (this is written at the beginning of every chapter^^) thank you so much for enjoying the story my love!!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: ITS TUESDAY

IT IS TUESDAY

Anonymous said: I'm actually fucking sobbing at this point

Me everyday tbh

@im-that-chesire-jax said: OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD. and I kept having theories about her changing and Yoongi being her master and I kept thinking "she's a domitor, she's special so what if she can't have a master?" AND IM SO HYPE AND EXCITED THAT I FINALLY PREDICTED SOMETHING. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WRITING I WILL CONTINUE TO SUPPORT YOU FOR AS LONG AS YOU CONTINUE WRITING

AGHGVGJBWKG THANK YOU SO MUCH I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT POSTING THIS CHAPTER SO IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKED IT THANK YOU DKHSBDGKJSNGJSEG I love you :3

Anonymous said: Hahahaha even tho Yoongi's the loml, i hope he gets the fucking revenge he deserves and y/n ruins him and his existence

We will see what happens!! Thank you so much for reading :D

Anonymous said: OOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUOH MY GAIIIIIII💔

*Jungkook voice* ohmygod!

Anonymous said: I know she's not actually bound to him, but my heart still aches for Jungkook and Taehyung because as far as they're aware, they've both lost the person the love and a person they care about. I'm happy Namjoon is feeling now, and as hopeless as it might be, in genuinely happy the there's still /something/ between Tae and Yoongi.

Yes - because they have no idea what she has just experienced! :( And of course, Yoongi may not be *good* like the other characters in the story, but he still has some empathy and love inside of him, or so it seems! Thank you so much for reading the chapter dear :)

@chimkookie said: GURL I'M ACTUAL DYING CHAPTER 27 OF I WON'T STOP YOU WAS THE SHIT OMG I'M DYING! ASDFGHJKL I'M CRYING SDFGHJKL ASDFGHJKL ASDFGHJKL!

AGHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT!!

Anonymous said: OH MAN SHE'S GONNA DO THE "SURPRISE I FOLLOWED YOU AROUND LIKE A HELPLESS PUPPY WHEN ACTUALLY I'M THE MOST POWERFUL THING ON THIS EARTH SO DIE NOW PLEASE" ON HIM

GASP LET’S SEE!!! :3

@xokookiebts said: OH MY GOD IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT AT THE CLIFFHANGER FOR PART 27. I JUST WANT HER TO WHOOP HIS ASS REAL QUICK BUT NOT KILL HIM. LIKE MAKE HIM REALIZE WHO'S THE MASTER DJDJJS. OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR THE NEXT PART. IM GONNA COMBUST.

Pls no hair pulling that sounds painful! :c AND PLEASE DO NOT COMBUST THAT WOULD MAKE ME REALLY SAD BUT THANK YOU FOR READING IT BABE :3

Anonymous said:THE NEW CHAPTER I AM SCREAMING THIS JUST TOOK A DIFFERENT TURN AND I LOVE IT

I HOPE YOU LIKED THE NEW TURN I WAS SO NERVOUS TO POST IT THANK YOU SO MUCH AGHHH

@sundaymorningblues14 said: Wow. I am speechless, that was beautifully written. You truly have a gift! I absolutely loved the way you described the spirit (is that the right term?). I can't wait to see what the protagonist is going to do next! Thank you darling xx

Thank you so much beautiful ^^ I’m so so happy you loved how the sine nomine was described! You can refer to them however you wish - a spirit, a god, a power; whatever feels right to you! You’re so welcome and thank you very much for reading it *hug*

@shineeshawol204 said: I. Am. ScReAmInG!¡!¡ FUCK UGH I CANT THAT WAS SO GOOD AND JUST UGH HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT ANOTHER WEEK?! YOU HURT ME YOU KNOW THAT SARA?!

*screams with you* THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE! I didn’t mean tto hurt you though I am sorry :(

Anonymous said: Omg... THE FEEEEELLLLSSS MAN. How could u do this to me... I don't know what I'm feeling right now... I feel, almost... lost? You are an incredibly amazing writer and I feel blessed to be able to have read that and felt the way I did. Please continue on to make my, and many other people's lives happy with what you are writing xxx luv uuuuuu ☺️❤️

Don’t be lost - I’ll find you! *cheesy* Ahhhh thank you so much you’re really too kind to me but I am so happy that you got to feel all those emotions from the story. Thank you and I love you too dear ^^

@animeimmortal said: DO YOU HEAR MY HEART? IT STOPPED LIKE HALF WAY I am still so flipping amazed at all the scenery and detailed descriptions you put in there WHAT WAS WITH THAT ENDING but then again if thats a prank that she's just saying that for the lulz then I would honestly do the same 😊 i don't know what to expect in very excited about the next chapter ❤❤❤ much love

I’LL BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE HOLD UP~~~ I’m glad you liked the scenery and the detail, I personally really enjoyed writing that part. It felt very serene and calming to write it ^^ hehe, thank you so so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: Questions: 1)What? 2)WHYISJIMINSTILLDEADYOUTOLDMEHEWAS- 3)Am I messing with Yoongi or....? 4) Hoseok's gonna wake up and be like '...What the-' 5)Serrena's gonna come in and be like '...What in the-' 6)YAY JOONIE ISN'T DEAD 7)Why didn't I ask the gender ambiguous person if Jimin is deads?! 8)WhAt? 9)Can we be friends? 10)Do you know the Muffin Man? 11)Wow I asked a lot of questions, but you did this to yourself. 12)Some of these weren't even questions lol LAST QUESTION: WHaT? - <3 Vampnip anon

Hello Vampnip anon! My, my! You have a lot of questions...but I guess you will have to wait until the next chapter to see if I answer them in it :3 BUT I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW THAT YES LET’S BE FRIENDS BECAUSE I KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN LET’S GO EAT MUFFINS :3

Anonymous said: I've literally just been sat, staring at my wall, for the past hour. This chapter gave me feelings I ain't never had before. I'm surprised I haven't burnt holes into my wall with how intense my thinking stare is 😂😘😘

I’m rather glad that you haven’t burnt holes into your wall, that would be rather unfortunate you and the landlord to find yourselves in that predicament D: This chapter gave you feelings you never had before? Well...perhaps I am a domitor - giving you feelings? *ba dum dum chiiii* excuse me my dad jokes are lame I’m leaving GOODNIGHT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING

Anonymous said: Idk man i want iwsy to end happy, but at the same time i want it to be angsty. KILLS ME IM EXCITED AF TO SEE HOW IT ENDS, IM READY

I wonder how it will end!!!??? :3

@mysr3 said: This Ch is OMG, took my breath away at every details- like a ray of light in darkness! Thank you so much! Cant wait to know what her motive is! Next CH is going to b on FiRE! JK at the end is pricelss! U r such a talented writer even I already said it but ill say again bc it fact! U r Awesome! Thank you for bringing such another wonderful scenario to us! I love you ❤ Plz take care of urself n Hope you have a good night/ good week n wish you all the luck in the world Love ღღღ

You’re so sweet I’m smiling like a complete idiot oh my god?? D: what did I do to deserve you, you little ray of sunshine?! hehe :3 I love you too and i also hope that you will take good care of yourself and have a great week!! :3

Anonymous said: I DONT EVEN CARE I JUST NEED CHIM CHIM TO BE ALIVE #savechimchim #praytothelord #heissocutehecantdie #immadieifsomeonedoesntsavehim

#SAVECHIMCHIM2017

Anonymous said: No...just no...how could you do that to me... and then make me wait another week to find out what happens?!?!!?!?!!?!

Because...I’m evil...but I love you...:3 *runs away*

@jynxy24 said: Forgot it was Tuesday😂😂 YOUR CHAPTER HAS SURPIRSED ME UNTIL I HAD TO PRAY TO FATHER SUGA WILLIAMS ADAM THE THIRD AND YAS I HAVE DIED FROM READING YOUR WONDERFUL CHAPTER THANK YOU SARA IT WAS FUCKING GREAT AND GOODBYE LIFE I'M DEAD😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

OMG lol FATHER SUGA WILLIAMS ADAM THE THIRD I’M ON THE FLOOR SKKLNSNEWJEHNNEH THANK YOU FOR READING AAND YOU’RE WELCOME I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY MY LOVE

@namjoonismybias said: Oh my god IWSY was- I can't even😵 keep up the good work!😁✌️❤

Thank you so much for reading my little sugarplum!!

@semisweetsuga said: FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK THAT WAS SO GOOD OH MY GODDDD

KOTO YOUR AVATAR IS SO FUCKING CUTE I’M PEEING

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: my mom thought i was dying, but i was actually just reading IWSY so yEP IM CRYING AND SCREAMING I LOVE THIS SERIES IM EMOTIONAL. i need more soodkckvkgkgkkh

OMG LOL SORRY MUM xD Thank you so much and I apologise if your mum had a heartattack cos she thought you were dying lolol :3

@mocking-butts said: IM SCREAMING OH MY GOD KYFCNIGFNLFFKNVGK PLS BE NEXT WEEK

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT BBY!!

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT HAPPEN

Anonymous said: You really are an incredible writer

*blush* you’re too kind, but thank you so much. Seriously.

Anonymous said: Damn damn damn. I knew it! I knew she was gonna be turned AND PREGNANT all at the same time mmhm mmhm. Y/N bout to fuck shit up. You had me dying at "you'll never walk alone" I was like no she didn't just go there. Excited for next week whioooop

YAY YOU GOT THE YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE REFERENCE YAAAAAY! ehehe :3 thank you so much my love, I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks too ^^

@snoopy198712 said: Please let some of her powers be able 2 bring Jimin back 2 life & let her be the one 2 either kill Yoongi or Turn him over so the other vampire can kill please allow Namjoon 2 be good please I love this story so much I wait every Tuesday luv it

I hope she’ll be able to do all that and that everything will work out fine in the end! :( but thank you so much for reading and I’m so happy that you look forward to it each week my love :)

@ohheyitsebonyrose said: AAAHHHH OMG SNEAKY SNEAKY Y/N!! Even though it breaks my heart it's good to know it's not because he's actually her master. Another great chapter again Sara!!

Sneaky lil fox! :3 Thank you so much my love, I’m really glad you enjoyed it! ^^

Anonymous said: Yeah just take my heart u already have my feelings take it all --wifey anon 🐇 (cont.) For once I am not worried because I know YN knows exactly what she s doing Also I cannot help but think about (Y/N) x Jungkook sex like yn can feel so much things it ll take this expérience to the next level I believe --wifey anon 🐇

me: collector of souls, hearts and feelings :3 ANd yes! At least you know what her intentions are - despite the cliffhanger! And ooooooog you’re the first person to have mentioned that :3 yes!! I bet it will hehe~ thank you so so much for reading wifey anon! ^^

@deboracorrea25 said: OMG! OMG! OMG! It was fantastic! Despite the fact that you made me cry for a moment, it was still a perfect chapter. All the answers you provided, made a smile grow and widen in my face. And she becoming much more glorious and strong... I just loved it! I knew she would call him master, she's smart and I love her. Thanks for this amazing part of IWSY. Love you!!

I’m sorry for making you cry :( but thank you so much my love! and I love you too~ i’m so happy you liked it!

@doubletroublesince1994 said: I mean yeah, it's perfectly normal for me to read this at past midnight when my finals are just in 45 days and I also have an exam in physics and chemistry in 2 days (For which I'm not ready AT ALL) THE THINGS YOU DO TO ME OH SARA

Awwwww babe I’m sorry your finals are so close! :( I APOLOGISE FOR ANY PAIN I’VE CAUSED YOU PLS DON’T HATE MEEEE

Anonymous said: I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD NEWS IN IWSY I LOVE YOU MAN I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK PLS CARRY ON WITH WRITING 😂❤ ignore me

I love you too! You’re so so sweet thank you so much my dear ^^

Anonymous said: I FEEL SO BAD FOR JUNGKOOK LIKE HIS HEART IS PROBABLY BROKEN PLEASE LET HIM IN ON THE READER'S PLAN. Ok but seriously amazing chapter!! -Tall anon

Hopefully everything will work out in the next chapter :3 Thank you so much tall anon!

@rainbowluversunite2011 said: IWSY had me SCREAMINGG. I hate that i have to wait a week 😖 It's soooo good! It's amazing, i can't breath right oh lord. You're awesome btw. and so is your story 💜✨

You are awesome too my love! Thank you so much for reading and I’m really glad you enjoyed the update :D

Anonymous said: OMG THIS NEW CHAPTER OF IWSY HAS ME FEELING ME SOME KIND OF WAY THAT I CANNOT EXPLAIN, I'M FEELING HAPPY, ANGRY, SAD, ANXIOUS AND EXCITED ALL AT ONCE. I MEAN, SHE'S A VAMPIRE AND A DOMITOR AND IS CARRYING A BABY AND MY GOD I JUST NEED MORE, Tuesday is so close but so far at the same tim, I can barely wait!

I’m glad that this chapter could bring out all these feelings for you :3 that makes me super happy hehe! Thank you so so much my love ^^

@jungkookbangtaned said: OMG HEY NO SARA HOW CAN YOU END THE CHAPTER LIKE THIS OMG OMG AND I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD FOR REAL. AND THEN THIS. AND THEN POOR CHRIST JUNGKOOK OMG OMG WHYTT😭😭😭 *even if it may not seem, I still love you and your writing BUT JUST PLEASE NEXT TIME GIVE US SOME MERCY OH MY GOD

NOPE NO DEAD FOR REAL hehe~ I love you too but I offer no mercy :P Thank you so much for reading the update my dear I’m glad you liked it!!

@clara-licht said: *woke up* *checked watch* Oh, it's 4.30 AM.... IWSY should be updated already. *read story* .....NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WHOLE WEEK *tried to go back to sleep* *couldn't sleep due to excitement* Well there goes the rest of my rest XD Seriously though, the newest one left me shook. That last bit kinda excites me, what would Kook do about that? And how will Yoongs react? After all, domitors aren't tied to anyone, so that bit over there must be an act.

Oh my god I’m so sorry to hear that you couldn’t get back to sleep my dear :( But I’m glad that you enjoyed the update! And yes - how will Yoongi react D: I wonder! D: Thank you so much dear for reading :D

@fashionkilla124 said: I'm dying at the end if the new chapter cuz I know she GON BEAT HIS ASS 😂😂 YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN NEXT WEEK IM CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD SEND HELP 😂😂💀💀

SHE’S GONNA BEAT HIM UP YAY hopefully :3 thank you so much love!

@pandafish said: ooohoh!!!!! why is she calling him master though?? i hope it's just a trick. i wonder if she'll kill yoongi :O

You’ll just have to wait and see! :3

Anonymous said: Just a random question, Sara.... WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO END ON A CLIFFHANGER?! wait, but then again, leaving off on a cliff hangers gives all of us the opportunity to come up with mostly inaccurate theories about what will happen next... hmm, okay then, no complaints. IWSY part 27? (jeez it's been so long since the beginning, I'm starting to loose track...) anyways, pt 27 was really really good! Hah! Take that, Yoongi! Your little plan didn't work! I'm looking forward to next week!- army anon

Because, dear army anon, I am a bitch ^^ hehe~ And I love reading people’s inaccurate or accurate deductions so much :3 Thank you so much for thinking that the chapter was good dear, it means so much to me ^^

Anonymous said: please bring Jimin back, please!!! (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩) he means so much to Taehyung!

He hasn’t even died and you want him to come back! lol

Anonymous said: daaaaaaamn sara, back at it again with the cliff-hangers. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 from now on i'm calling u the cliff-hanger goddess, featuring ur most notable work "i won't stop you [from cliff-hanging]" 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

I am satisfied with this title *smug face* :3

Anonymous said: "You will never walk alone" ahhhhhhh I'm crying for multiple reasons ... man I was waiting all week for that chapter and I'm not disappointed!!!! I'm so excited for more and I'm still on edge for next week and!! Your writing is so good!!! Thank you so much k thx bye <3

I’m so happy that you and a few other people seem to have gotten the reference that I slipped in there :3 hehe thank you so much for reading my love and I hope you enjoy the next part too! :D

@rahrah25 said: This chapter of "I Won't Stop You" was just breathtaking I'm still in awe of how wonderfully and beautifully you read this chapter this is my favorite fanfic thank you for sharing your incredible work:) ❤❤

I’m smiling so much of my goodness c: thank you my love, your words mean the world to me! Thank you even more for reading my series^^

@purrfectcupof-tae said: Omg you used the "you never walk alone" phrase in IWSY and I'm just weak 😭 i love your writing and I hope to become just as great as you 💕

I did use the never walk alone phrase :3 thank you for picking up on it!! :3 And I am sure you are already a great writer - honestly, mine is mediocre at best :D thank you for your wonderful words regardless my love ^^

Anonymous said: OOOOOH SHIT DAMN ITS THE FUCKING CLIFF HANGER AGAIN BUT ANYWAYS FUCK YAH THE CHAPTER WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS ٩( 'ω' )و ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

YAY THANK YOU SO MUCH SWEETIPIE ANON!

@mnmiyukiko18 said: Hun bun, I love you and your work so much... But I swear if Jimin dies in IWSY I don't know if I'll be able to forgive you.

I really hope he won’t die then! *scared face*

Anonymous said: I (an almost 20 year old) literally squeeled when I remembered it was IWSY Tuesday. And oh boy was I blessed this week. Chapter 27 was (literally, haha) an out of body experience. I am so in love with how you've developed this plot. And the sine nomine? Incredible. Unexpected. Amazing. It's clear how much thought and detail you've put into this series, and it is such a complete pleasure to read. Also, the JK stan in me is so ready for eternal power couple Y/N and Jungkook like HELL YEA. - 종달새 <3

I’m so thankful that you loved the sine nomine character - I was really hoping that it would be a nice, fresh organic arch to a vampire story! ETERNAL POWER COUPLE HELL YES LET’S GO! Thank you for always being such a sweetheart, I appreciate it more than words can describe - thank you ^^

@sinae said: I've been following along with I Won't Stop You for a while now and I am so amazed with your writing! I check every Tuesday for a new update because I am so curious as to where the story leads! This chapter was amazing as always, and I am so excited for the next one!! Thank you for sharing your writing! I hope you are doing wonderful♡ (Pls tell me Jimin is okay don't hurt me like this lol)

Ahh, thank you so much for following it for a long time ^^ Even tho it has been running for 27 weeks now! You’re welcome for the stories but thank you even more for reading them ^^ I hope you are also doing wonderfully love!!

Anonymous said: I hereby invite you to this poor army's funeral. She will be dearly missed after we found her screaming and sobbing in her room after reading the last chapter of IWSY. Please bring flowers (and Jeon Jungkook if possible)

Listen; no funerals will be had because I refuse to let you die! I 100% wish I could bring you flowers and Jeon Jungkook~ Those two things could heal ANYONE’S broken heart I think!

Anonymous said: NOOOOOO I need the next chapter right N O W :( every chapter literally keeps me at the edge of my seat.... praying that this series will never end so I can have my weekly dose of fantasy ㅠㅠ -bunnykookie96

Hello bunnykookie96!! my fellow 96liner :D I wish I could give you the next chapter right now but...I don’t even have it written yet ::( I’m sorry!! but thank you so much for reading it dear ^^

@kookieslaugh said: wait wait wait, when y/n wakes up from her ''death'' is Jungkook slowly dying?? I mean he was in a fight with Seokjin and kind of got rly beat up? bc if he's slowly dying then so aM I!!! Btw I love I won't stop so much like you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to every Tuesday ahhhhh ❤️

Ahhh no, it was more like - her calling Yoongi her ‘master’ killed Jungkook on the inside because he doesn’t know what’s really going on ^^ Thank you so much sweetkins!!

@lostheretics said: shit is gettin real im jungshooked

me as fuck

@koreaisanaddiction said: MY THEORY WAS CORRECT!!!! so good this is an amazing chapter i want more!!!

YAY YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY!! Thank you so much for thinking it was amazing :D

@killingalltheflowers said: Omg this chapter was so beautiful. I have no words to describe it.. And I feel the badassness coming in the next chapter *^* AW I' M SO EXCITED!! YOU'RE THE BEST.

*sobs* thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: SARA MY BABE! CHAPTER 27 IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO GOOD THAT I AM TRULY AT A LOSS OF WORDS... SWEETCAKES YOU WRITE SOOOO DAMN WELL! ❤❤❤❤❤

I’M TRULY SO HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!!! Thank you so much beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: IM SCREAMING SARA OH MY GODNJSDKK IM A 3RD YEAR COLLEGE STUDENT AND I MAJOR IN LIBRARY AND INFORMATION SCIENCE THE MOMENT I SEE SINE NOMINE I SCREAM youre prob aware of it but we use sine nomine [s.n] in cataloguing when theres no author mentioned in a book and sine loco [s.l] if theres no publisher stated sjsjsjsjsjs i just okay i flip my shit out im sorry anYWAY i mentioned last time i had some theory it didnt cover most of it so im still waiting for the next tHIS IS AN AWESOME UPDATE IM

Awwww yesssss! sine nomine is latin for ‘nameless’ so I wanted this powerful entity to have some kind of name. I thought that was most fitting ^^ hehe language is so amazing and how we use it, right? ^^ Thank you so much love and I hope you will be able to see if your theories are correct or not soon! :D

Anonymous said: Even tho my spring break ends this week, I can't fucking wait till next tuesday. Tuesdays are my favourite days of the week thanks to you ❤

My spring break will also end this week :( I’m still in London tho so it’s fun!! I’m so happy that Tuesdays are good days for you because of IWSY - thank you for being amazing and lovely :D

Anonymous said: SHE IS BOUTTA TRICK YOONGI AND BEAT HIS ASS THEN BRING JIMIN BACK OR SOMETHING IT HAS TO BE

IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN MY FRIENDO!

@xtigerlily said: I usually don't like to read anything longer than a oneshot but I'm hooked on I Wont Stop You. I can't stop thinking about it all day. You're a fantastic writer and i'm so glad I found your page :) keep it up!

Well I feel honoured that you gave IWSY a chance even thought it’s not a oneshot! Thank you so much!! :3

Anonymous said: holo Sara!! i've been wondering about this a lot. in IWSY, where did the names 'natum lamia' (i think thats how you spell it) and 'sine nomine' come from? did you learn Latin? :o

I don’t speak Latin fluently but I know some odd words here and there! But the reason as to why I have included Latin names in IWSY is because of the lore I chose to make as the background of my story. I didn’t just want to use English because I believe that the story would have lost it’s depth and feel! :D

@noceurash said: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS BJFGH,, i love you very much bby but you've killed me eternally gdgh. Iwsy was good aaah , have a lovely day~~~~ ♡

I love you too and Im so sorry for killing you eternally :( But thank you so much my love and I hope you have a great day too!! ^^

@idgaf97 said: I just want to say I've been a long time reader of IWSY and I absolutely love it. I think it's one of the best stories I've read (fanfic or not.) Jungkook has always looked like a vampire prince to me lol. Much love from The States (Chicago)!

Thank you so much for being a long time reader! :3 And yes -- Jungkook has always given me Vampire vibes~~ Conversely, Taehyung has always given me Werewolf vibes lol I did write a oneshot smut about Werewolf!Taehyung :3 He’s such an adorable little puppy hehe ^^ And heeeeey Chicago! Thank you my love :D

Anonymous said: Sara, why the cliff-hanger? Oh god now im dying in here.whyyyyyyy

I don’t know I swear it’s my evil twin that does it :(

Anonymous said: Hi yes hello, I'd just like you to know that I just spent the whole day reading I Won't Stop You, and I have to say that you're an incredible writer!! I legit was reading it during my uni classes!! Anyway thank you for writing such a wonderful story and I'm looking forward to the future chapters :D (Jimin though :'(

Gah thank you so much sweetkins! And tut tut you should be focusing on Uni work you naughty student you (jk that’s like me everyday lol) Thank you so much for reading my story as it means a lot to me!! Good luck during your University classes :D

#imsarabum #IWSY #I Won't Stop You #Asks #Responses

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welcometohurt · 7 years

Text

Welcome to hurt.

Even though probably nobody will ever read this, give a fuck, or even see this, I decided to start this “Diary Blog” anyways.

In case anyone ever does read this, I will remain anonymous. Maybe that will change one day, maybe it won’t, for now, I’m nothing. Literally, call me nothing. \\

Hello, I’m Nothing. Nice to meet you. Not that we are actually meeting, because I don’t ever leave my fucking house to actually meet people. I’m not really sure why I decided to start this blog, I am hoping it will let me vent and maybe it will help others... I mean I doubt it but who knows?

ANYWAYS.

About 6 years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Yes, really diagnosed by a real doctor dude and not one of those 15 year old self diagnoses “OMG I AM SO SAAD AND CAN’T HANDLE LIFE WAAAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME “ kind of shit. (Side note, if you are one of those people, see a doctor or stfu?)

I’m not really sure WHY I got all this shit. Life for my was going great, I had the best friends, I was going out every night, I never got into drugs or alcohol, I just had fun. I do however have a hunch. The summer of 2011 was when my life went to shit. Stick with me, it’s going to be hard to follow.

The summer of 2011 started of great. I had a new boyfriend of a few months who was 2 years older then me, and a couple of his friends were going out with my best friends so it was literally perfect, we all hung out all the time. It happened to be his graduating year, so that meant he had prom. When we started going out prom tickets had already been bought and prom was coming and it was just too late for me to be his date which I was totally okay with, he was just going with his buddies. A couple of months went by, prom came and gone and it was now July. My boyfriend and I have been dating 3 months.

One day in July my dad had a stroke, we didn’t think he was going to make it. He forgot he had a family and had the mind of a 12 year old. I used my friends and boyfriend to vent and I was terrified I would be losing my dad by the time the week was over. 2 days go by my dad wakes up one morning i hospital and was totally and completely back to normal. The doctors were not really sure how, but they say it was a miracle. My dad was okay and back home the next day.

The morning after my dad came home I got a call from my boyfriend from work... I was still down about everything. still worries, but I was okay. I thought my boyfriend was calling to give me a little cheer up. No, he wasn’t. He called in a panic and I thought something bad happened. It did, but not to him... just to me. He explained to me that he has been keeping something from me since prom and it was killing him. He told me a girl came up to him at prom and kissed him. I start laughing as I though it was cute he was so worried about that, and said as long as you didn’t kiss her back! He went quiet and said he did, and he didn’t stop. They just kept going. My boyfriend cheated on me at prom. Now I was 16 at the time, it was my first love... I didn’t want it to end so soon. I was crushed, but I was stupid and forgave him. His friends knew about it, and now my friends knew about it... some of them came over that day to cheer me up. They didn’t think I should stay with him but I did. We all hung out and by that night i WAS OKAY, it was okay... life went on. No one except those few people knows about that even 6 years later.

I didn’t think that after that week of events my whole life would change for the worse.

Literally the next day I woke up feeling sick.( FUN FACT ABOUT ME: Ever since I can remember I have had a severe fear of throwing up. It’s controlled a few thigns in my life and it’s horrible but I get over it.. but when I feel sick I get pretty dramatic about it) Anyways, I woke up feeling sick and was worried I was catching the flu so I didn’t eat or go out that day. The next day, I still didn’t feel well, my boyfriend wanted to see me I declined and said I wasn’t well, my friends as well and I said the same thing. I stayed home and didn’t eat. The next day... the same thing... and the next day... the next... my mom started to notice. I went from a food loving girl who went out everyday to not eating or seeing people. She took me to the doctors and they say, they don’t know what’s wrong and they will do some tests. A MONTH goes by, I havent seen my friends. My boyfriend comes over every so often to see me and that’s it. September comes around and I wasn’t able to go to school. I keep getting tests done and nothing had been found out. Finally it’s November and I haven’t been to my grade 11 year yet... I am down to 85lbs and I found out rumors about me are starting at school.

Long story kind of short... I finally found out that I simply had anxiety this whole time. I started seeing help, put on pills... started eating... going out more... I wasn’t my old self but was better. It went on like that for a year or two. During those 2 years the pills I was on made me to start gaining weight. I started then getting depressed. Highschool didn’t help with that as I when I was sick and away the rumors about me never did stop. I won’t go into detail but just think of a random rumor and I probably heard it.

When I started getting depressed I started going backwards... I started not really going out again... my boyfriend (the same one) started then getting frustrated and more angry with me. I lost most of my friends because I just didn’t see them.

Before I knew it highschool was over. I had to go back for a year because I didn’t have enough credits because of lack of attending school due to being sick. My boyfriend I was with was a smart person, always on top of school and work.. by this time he was done college and had a full time job. He was disappointed to be witha girl that had to repeat a year in highschool... but he stayed with me.

I finally finished and got my highschool diploma. I then got accepted to college... but I was also gettign worse again, and bigger, and going out less and less. I then developed a routine... in order for me to leave the house when I did I had to go through a 3 hour routine... and that got my boyfriend frustrated. I use to think he was the best boyfriend at the time.. I use to think wow he so awesome he helps me through everything. He really didn’t.. he would just get mad and I would just let him because I knew I was nothing and I was also just so in love. The year of college was tough. It was a 1 year course and I missed a lot of classes. I would leave a lot of classes when I got anxiety attacks.. I also gained more weight. My boyfriend decided he wanted to be a cbsa officer.. he had to go away for 3 months for training. I was so proud of him and told him I would support him through everything. I did. He went away which made me more depressed. I ate more. gained more. He saw pictures of me and began to comment on my weight... I though nothing of it and I said it wass bad angles... etc... he made me send picture to him to prove I wasn’t gaining weight. I did and I never sucked in my stomach so much. I didn’t think anything of it,... he was just worried right?

College ended and didn’t graduate. I got more depressed. My boyfriend was mad. But, i did land a job for the summer I always wanted... working at a pet store! I loved it , it made me happy and made my confidence go up and I was feeling better.

July came and my boyfriend was coming home from training and I was so excited... when I saw him he seemed kid of excited.. he must have just been tired. A week or two passed and i lost my job at the pet store. They said they over hired. My boyfriend was upset. I got sad again. I wasn’t going out again. October of 2015 I promised I would get up and go to the movies for a date. I tried my hardest and I did it. My boyfriend was not very impressed... on the ride home he seemed sad... the saying “forever and always” was our thing and we would say it to eachother. So i said it to make happy.. he was quiet... then I told him I loved him... he told me “you need to get better.. this is hrd to handle” I said I will but forever and always right? Still no response and I started to tear up... I said you want to break up dont you? He just nodded... and just started saying yes.

That was it. We were it. After almost 5 years, after being eachothers basically first everything, that was it.

The next few months were hell. I turned into a fuck it kind of girl. I got a rebound. wanted to die. hated myself. I got a job though? I hated myself.

I started working at a restaurant... it helped me a lot... I slowly started to get over my break up. I started losing weight... I started going out more... I went out on dates.... none were potential boyfriends but iwas still fun.

February 2016, I ran into my ex at the store. He was suprised to see me out and said hello... and then asked me to coffee.. coffee landed into making out which made me happy to have him again. He said he wanted to try again.. and offered to take me out on a date. I said yes of course.

The next day I texted him to plan the date and he said ... this was a bad idea... i changed my mind. Who the fuck knew my heart could break again so quickly? I went backwards again. I didn’t go out again.

A couple months went by again... i still had my job at the restaurant. I started getting okay again. There was a group of kitchen guys that always talked to me and made me happy and we would always laugh non stop together. One of them, was so nice and sweet to me. I never knew why.. but he always invited me out with them. I always built up the stregth to go... and when I did he was always right there. I started to like him a lot. One day late at work, almost closing time he walks up to me... and asks me out. My whole life changed that day. We went on a date and haven’t stopped seeing eahother since. He made me the happiest. I told him my story and he understood as he went through similar problems as me.

He helped me through anxiety attack and encouraged me to take on my problems. the november of 2016 he encouraged me to apply to my dream job... one I thought I’d never have. I did I got it and I quit the restaurant. He has never gotten mad at me for my illness he has made me realize what I wsas missing my past relationship. He spoils me and makes me so happy.

2017 I started to fall backwards again and I don’t know why. It’s now July 2017 and I am the worst I have been since I can remember. I only leave my house to go to work or to very quickly pick things up at the store. I started cutting myself to stop thoughts of me hating myself and I thing about ending my life everyday. I am still with the love of my life, we have been together over a year now. I would be dead without him. He is one of the hardest workers I know, he is in training to be a paramedic. He just graduated university after 4 years and now has a degree in medical science. He is going back to school to be a paramedic in september and is a volunteer paramedic in the meantime.

I worry everyday that I don’t make him happy cause I can’t do things with him. I worry everyday he will realize that he deserves so much better. I don’t know why my mental illness is getting worse again. I have everything. I don’t know why. I have someone that sticks with my and helps me through everything so why is it getting worse? What if/ when will he realize he deserves so much more?

I am not really sure why my mental illness started. But here I am.

Welcome to my blog.

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