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petrichor-idyllic · 1 year

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Hi hello! Can I request a Minho x Reader oneshot where the reader is working for WICKED but is like an undercover agent and actually tries to give out info for the Right Arm or whatever and she helps Minho when he gets taken back to the facility(like trying to find ways to free him or at least bring him food or smth when he's not being... yk tortured to death and all- it can be whatever) and she helps in his escape and they all go tho the safe haven where they live happily forever after- ok I'll stop now, thank you. Also I'm in love with your Minho oneshots!

Omg yesss this is such a good request and I can actually do so much with this.

I got really into this one so I'm sorry for the variation in my writing quality lmao. This might be my longest piece yet, so sorry it took so long to get out.

Due to the pronouns used in this text I am assuming it is Fem!Reader. I am also assuming this is based on the films because those events do not take place in the books.

WARMTH IN COLD PLACES PT. 1

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2

SUMMARY: See above. Minho x Fem!Reader. Movie based fic. Instead of Jorge knowing about the Last City and where Minho will be, you provide that information.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, violence, guns. WICKED being WCKD because movie. I'm assuming you know the rules of the card game Black Jack. This is also time inaccurate because TDC takes place over a couple of days but here you're getting weeks worth of events. VERY long.

You joined the Right Arm as a child, maybe ten or eleven- you can't really remember. You'd lost your parents to the Flare on separate occasions, escaping to a refuge camp after your father started showing symptoms and forced you to flee without him.

You can't even remember losing your mother. You were too young.

After moving from camp to camp, each one being safe until some Crank snuck in, or someone joined unknowingly suffering from the disease.

After the forth move, you met Vince. You tried stealing some extra bread for a girl who was sick (she had pneumonia, not the Flare). You got caught but put up a hell of a fight. Vince introduced himself, and you kind of became his adoptive daughter.

So, when he gave you an alias and a fake ID, sending you on a private mission to interfere and spy on WCKD, you were shocked to say the least.

But it made sense. Vince had been protective and secretive about you, making sure that he kept you away from WCKD's watchful eye. Sure, you're pretty well-known; but only by name. There's several rebellious attempts attached to your name, mainly spread around groups of activists.

But not your face. You were the perfect candidate for an undercover gig.

It took months to go through WCKD'S training, pretending to be older than you were with a name that wasn't yours, but it worked.

And then, even your fake name and life didn't matter- you simply became Guard 175.

It's been two years since you took the job.

Your time in the Last City was unlike any other- mainly stealing information and providing intel.

Until strict message from Vince on your smart watch tells you to keep an eye out for an Asian boy called Minho.

You knew of Minho- of course, you did. Vince and his new allies had been looking for him for the past six months. After the events in which Teresa betrayed you all, you were in the Last City. The Guard job you had required you to stay at WCKD's Headquarters at all times, since you were guarding the building. Even in events where WCKD needed more bodies.

All you could do was try and warn Vince, but by the time you found out what was happening yourself and managed to find a private place to send the message, it was too late.

So, now everyone's focus is on trying to find this random boy you've literally never met for ex-WCKD workers/prisoners. It's been a weird six months.

Much to your dismay, the only information you could provide were the routes the trains would be taking and that Minho might be on them.

Which got messed up, but not thanks to you. You told them the location, but which carriage Minho was on would be random based on where the Guards forced him to sit.

You were still unable to leave your post.

Vince had suspicions that they were bringing Minho to the main WCKD base, especially after you told them the documents stating the destination. It was really the only other option since they didn't save him. So, you're now under strict orders to keep an eye out for him.

You know what he looks like. You have an earpiece and a high-tech smart watch, both of which you keep hiden under your Guard's uniform. These were used to tell you what you had to look for. So, when you broke into WCKD's system, searching for Subject A7- information that was provided by some keen-eared boy called Newt -you knew who you were looking for.

"Miss Agnes," you jog, catching up to Teresa as she struts down the scary clean white walls of WCKD HQ. You hate it here. It's worlds away from the chaotic but cosy environment you spent your life in- from the small town that got plagued by the Flare to the Right Arm bases you helped run. It's too bright; too clean.

Part of your mission is to befriend Teresa. She's Ava Paige's personal lapdog, and if she likes you, you've got an in- and someone with power that will defend you. She seems to be fond of you, probably because if a lowlife peasant can like her, then maybe she isn't so bad.

You, obviously, despise her.

Your job wouldn't have become so complicated if it weren't for her, and you'd probably have a lot of people safe and sound in the Safe Haven. Your job was long, but it was originally to get as much information as physically possible and then flee, providing the knowledge to free more people and completely disrupt WCKD's plans. Now it's "tell Vince if you find this random kid."

"Ah, 175," she doesn't even know your fake name, "I was wondering where you'd got to."

"Yeah, well, you know how it is- busy guarding and all that." She scoffs. She's always found you funny; that might be why she likes you.

"Yes, well, as much as I'd love to chat, I've got to get to the labs." You're glad the mesh masks of your uniform shields your face because that means you can hide your panic.

"Sorry, uh, before you go- I heard one of the cargo trains was intercepted," her face visibly hardens, "I was wondering if that had anything to do with your old friends; the ones you told me about?"

She clears her throat, "I'm afraid so. I just-" she sighs, "Thomas thinks he's doing the right thing. He thinks that this is what's best for him- but I'm trying to do what's best for humanity. It hurts that they don't understand that. But it's fine, because we prevented the Right Arm from getting our most reliable cargo."

"Oh?"

"I can't tell you much, I'm not allowed," she throws a sad smile your way. "I wish I could, though. You've been a great friend. So, let's just say one of the most impressive and consistent subjects is still in our possession."

She walks away, leaving you to huff and puff in the corridor. It made you sick how they spoke about people like they're objects. It's hard to believe the boys you're helping used to hold her so highly.

You return to your room. It's basically a box room that's big enough for a bed, but it's the only place that offers you any privacy. You yank your mask off, tossing it to the bed and pressing your fingers to your earpiece.

"Yo, Vince, you there?"

There's silence, followed by a sharp static. "(Y/N)? Did Teresa tell you anything?" You flop onto your bed, letting yourself move your hand away from your ear now the connection is stable.

"Not really, but she did mention about precious cargo being still intact- and an important test subject. The records I told you about before our raid said the train was coming here- we can only assume that this subject-"

"-Has to be Minho," Vince sounds stressed, groaning slightly.

"V? Everything alright over there?"

"Not really," he sighs, followed by the sound of a squeaking chair, "WCKD's jets have been snooping around base and Thomas, Newt and Frypan have gone AWOL- Brenda and Jorge left earlier to go and find them. But I doubt they're going to bring them back."

Honestly, you'd never spoken to any of these people, but you knew the names well enough to tell who they are.

"What are they going to do then?"

"What do you think?" You sit up on your elbows, processing what he's implying. "You might be having some company real soon."

"Does that mean I'll be able to leave?" Vince snorts a laugh. You've asked him that every single call since you started this gig.

"It might, actually," though, this is the first time you haven't gotten a no. "Keep an eye out for Minho. He should be arriving there within the next twelve hours. If not, he's somewhere else and you're going to have to do more snooping whilst I try to contact Thomas."

"Okay. Speak soon." The connection dies with a hiss.

This was going to be shit.

Not even two hours later, you hear the call off of your walky-talky that Guards are needed at the cargo entrance to transport Subjects. You flew at the opportunity, rushing into the crowds of your colleagues.

Joining the other members at the doors to the carpark, you watch as buses full of innocent people in handcuffs pull up- all in the depressing WCKD garb they're forced to wear. Some faces are familiar from browsing files, some new- all looked terrified.

You stay away from the front, dipping between masked personnel and observing from a distance. You knew exactly what you were looking for- Asian, dark-hair, well built, about eighteen-ish, good-looking, and probably angry. That was offered by some dude called Frypan. You doubt that's his real name, but you really hope it is.

You watch, processing faces and people as fast as you can as Guards grab the Subjects, holding one of their arms, which are handcuffed together in front of them, and leading them into the building. This could be the perfect opportunity to do something, but by the time you spot Minho, someone has beat you to it.

It's definitely him. His image and description match him perfectly, even if his hair is a little bit flatter. You silently curse as you try to make your way over to him, only for another Guard to force him to walk forward.

Okay, new plan- grab someone close and stay nearby.

You don't get to use that plan either when Minho suddenly lashes out. He slams his foot onto the Guard's, making the masked man yelp and let go. Minho takes the opportunity to spin around, kicking the guy in the chest and sending him flying.

Another Guard comes to help, but Minho has got a hold of a pair of keys from the previous guy, just about unlocking one of his wrists before dodging.

Shit.

This is bad. There's no way Minho is going to be able to escape the building under these circumstances. It's brutal and dangerous and he's going to get himself shot.

You act fast, breaking away from the colleagues waiting for their turn and being affected by the bystander effect. You watch as a Launcher is pointed at the boy, as another Guard tries to wrestle him. The guy gets kneed in the groin and you dive in from behind.

Minho seems to sense you're there, spinning around to punch you, but you grab his fist, catching him by surprise and giving you a second to react. You'd done a lot more than basic WCKD training. Vince has been teaching you to fight since you first met him.

You launch your heavy boot into the bottom of Minho's shin at the front of his ankle, causing his foot to bend awkwardly. Taking the opportunity to spin him around, pulling him in front of you. You're quick to switch your grip to his wrist, forcing his arm behind his back. Kicking the weak spot on the back of his knee, he hits the floor with a thump as you hold him in place.

Minho is physically stronger than you, easily. But, you have years of practical and strategical training over his head.

"Not bad, 175," you freeze as Janson's grating voice hits your ears, "do us all a favour and take care of that delinquent- he's unfortunately important."

"Yes, Sir." He stands at the front of the room, watching as the Subjects filter past him. "Come on."

You yank Minho up, forcing him back onto his feet, he groans, anger visibly seething from him.

You hold him close to you so you can lean into his ear and whisper. "Listen man, I don't wanna hurt you but there's no way you're gonna survive here if you keep pulling shit like that."

"Why should I listen to you?" He spits. His voice is scratchy and hollow, full of hatred and aggression.

"You'd rather listen to these assholes? Trust me, I do that pretty much daily, and it's not exactly an ideal lifestyle."

He scoffs. It's dry and very clearly forced. "You think I'm gonna be your friend just 'cause you don't like your coworkers?"

Unfortunately, you have to be vague. If someone overhears and you tell him you're an ally to the Right Arm, then you're a dead man. If they think it's just dumb workplace drama, then they probably won't bat an eye.

"Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck what you think about me- I'm here to do my job. Unfortunately, my boss wants you kept kickin'." That's subtle enough to not bring concern, but intruiging enough that Minho looks over his shoulder at you.

"175," you're moving through the corridors now, having left the parking area and moving to Subject dorms. Your attention diverts to behind you as Janson touches your shoulder, having left his observation of the transfer. "Come with me. Subject A7 has a private cell per the request of Miss Paige."

"Yes, Sir."

This could be good. Minho has his own room away from the other victims, which means you'll have easier access to him.

You follow your "Boss", making no attempt to communicate with Minho in such tense circumstances now.

"That was quite the stunt you pulled," Janson speaks, making you cringe under your mask. "I don't remember many Guards being taught much hand to hand combat- we mostly focus on arms training. It's impressive."

"I excelled in the brief lessons we had, Sir. I knew some beforehand since I had to look after myself in the Scorch- fighting Cranks is no easy task." You keep your voice calm. A lot of people have similar life experiences, and if you haven't lost absolutely everything, you're classed as lucky. So, it's no shock when you casually mention hardships, giving a plausible explanation to your skills.

"I suppose so. You've come a long way, you should be proud of yourself- from street rat to WCKD agent. That's quite the accomplishment."

"Thank you, Sir, but I'm just trying to survive- just like everyone else."

"Humble, too," you can hear the smirk in his voice, "no wonder Teresa likes you."

Shit. Minho physically tenses at the mention of her name. If Janson knows that you're friendly with Teresa, then it's not really a jump in logic for him to think you're up to something.

"I'm honoured to be held in such high regard, Sir." Janson seems satisfied with this response, humming slightly.

Minho is quick to notice how different you spoke to him vs. Janson. It's very clearly a front, but he can't afford to question it.

He leads you to a small room away from the group Dorms, opening the door with a key card and revealing it. It's pretty much the same as your room, which probably says a lot about the people you're pretending to work for.

"Okay, Minho," Janson addresses the boy, condescending and irritating, "no more little stunts, okay? Your friends and the Right Arm can't reach you here. It's better you just give up and help us save humanity." He looks at you, jolting his head towards the room.

You grit your teeth, but follow the insinuation, throwing in the boy as guilt washes over you.

○ ○ ○

"I've found the boy," you pace your room once you returned, immediately contacting Vince.

"So he's there? Do you have access to him?"

"Not really- I know where he is but only higher level personnel have access to it- like Janson." You did a brief sweep of the key card requirements before you left- you're not Hugh enough ranked.

"What about Teresa?"

"Yeah, she'll probably have access."

"Okay, you can work with that, surely."

You sigh, running your fingers though your hair, "Sure, yeah, I guess. But what do you even want me to do now? Break him out? Release his file to you? Both of us escape?"

"I want you to keep an eye on him."

"Seriously?" Your face twists into a frown. "Is that it?"

"We can't risk anything. You're a one man show and one of our best resources- Thomas and his group are probably already making their way to you. God knows what their plan is, but they have more chance with you inside."

"How are they even gonna get into the City? It's on lockdown."

"I have a feeling they'll find a way," Vince huffs, clearly tired of your pressing. "Just a little longer, kid, make sure Minho is alive and okay- I don't know what they're gonna do to him, but I need you to make sure he's still breathing. Am I clear?"

"Yep," you pop the P.

"I also need you to keep quiet about your position, even to Minho."

"What, why?"

"We don't know what WCKD are going to do to him. If he says anything about our operation or you, we've done all this for nothing."

"I guess- alright. I'll sort it," disconnecting and sighing, you lay on your bed. You need to rest. These next couple of days are going to suck.

○ ○ ○

You wake the next day, and immediately start your hunt for Teresa. You have a hunch she'll be dealing with the Minho situation, or at least observing it.

The problem is that the WCKD HQ is huge. And you don't know where the experiments will be taking place. Since your job mainly just consists of walking around and keeping an eye on things, it's not like you're raising any suspicions. Especially since you helped out yesterday.

You turn a corner, spotting Teresa and Ava Paige talking, looking into a lab room with a glass window- one of the several open testing rooms found in this part of the building. You slow your pace, watching from a distance.

Teresa seems to be distressed; her fists are balled and she swallows uncomfortably, almost like she's hypnotised by what she's watching but wants to look away. Ava is unfazed, but she brushes her prodigy's shoulder as she walks away, offering some kind of sympathy.

The sound of clicking heels fade, and you make your approach. Going to speak, your breath catches in your throat as you witness the gruesome scene.

Behind the glass, Minho is strung up to some kind of contraption. Screens surround him and wires come from all over his body. He's stood upright, a foot above the floor and held in place as they start the machine again. One of the screens shows brain wave patterns that indicate high levels of stress.

"He's dreaming." Teresa speaks without pulling her eyes away.

"Dreaming?" You question. This looks anything but peaceful to you.

"Induced dreaming- they're forcing him to experience high stress situations to see how it affects the Kill-Zone," her words are shakey, and you latch onto that.

"You don't sound like you approve." She looks at you, even though she's never seen you without your mask, your voice and the numbers sewn on your sleeve tell her enough- she could tell its you from a mile away.

"During my time in the Maze- and the Scorch -Minho was brave. He's one of the most courageous people I've ever met. I can't tell you how many times he threw himself on grenades to protect us." She smiles, almost fondly as she looks back at the glass. "One time, when we were escaping the WCKD lab after being saved from the Maze, he ran full force and kneed an armed Guard. Completely knocked him out in one go; still probably one of the coolest things I've heard someone do."

"He sounds like he meant a lot to you," she lets out a sad chuckle.

"They all meant a lot to me but... I don't know. I made choices they don't agree with. They refuse to see the bigger picture, and I don't think they ever will."

"Why don't you try talking to him? Maybe visit him in his cell? Even if it's just to make sure he's okay." Come on, if you can get her on this line of thinking, you're more likely to get into Minho's cell.

"I'm too busy- besides, I doubt he'd want to see me. He hates me."

"Ah, yeah, that's a problem," she laughs dryly.

"Would you do it for me?" You tilt your head at her, exaggerating your confusion.

"Do what for you?"

"Look after Minho? Janson says you handled him easily yesterday, so there's no worries about him escaping or causing problems."

"I can't- I don't have high enough card access to enter the cells." She looks at you, thinking for a second.

"I'll get your card access upgraded. I trust you to take care of him- he deserves as much."

And just like that, she'd played into your hands. You're mainly relieved your hours of talking to her had actually paid off in some sense, that much was proven when she found you later that day- presenting you with a new key card.

Heading towards Minho's cell, no one even batted an eye when they saw you slide the key down the lock and the light flashed green.

Minho's sat on the floor, back resting against the bed frame, his legs bent and head in his hands. He doesn't even react to the sound of the door opening or closing.

"I brought you some decent food."

Still nothing.

Cautiously, you walk over to him, crouching and placing the dish on the floor. He looks at it out of the corner of his eye, which is kind of an improvement.

You cross your legs, sitting next to him but facing him. Silence fills the room and you let it. Minho is going to have to talk to you on his own terms if he's going to talk to you at all.

A good five minutes passes.

"You're not gonna leave, are you?" His voice sounds dry and is barely a whisper compared to the aggressive boy you'd tackled not even forty-eight hours prior.

"Nope."

"Did you at least get me a shuckin' drink?"

"...I'll be back. What would you like?"

"Do I even have a choice?"

"I'm asking, aren't I?"

"...Anything alcoholic?"

"No."

"Juice then."

You return ten minutes later with a glass full of orange juice, taking the sitting position that you had previously.

To your surprise, he's now sat with his legs crossed, holding the tray of beef, mash, gravy, and veg that you stole from the dining area on his lap.

You gently place the glass next to him, and he anxiously looks at it. "Not poisoned, right?"

You sigh, lifting the bottom on your mask and taking a sip, returning it to it's spot. He still hesitates, glancing down at his plate. So, you reach over, picking up a small piece of meat, struggling slightly to put it in your mouth under the mask.

He seems to accept this. It takes him a second, but he slowly starts eating- mainly picking at the food and taking slight sips of his drink, but progress is progress.

"You should count yourself lucky- the others aren't getting this quality food."

"Is that meant to make me feel better?" You guess that comment was a bit insensitive.

"Sorry, but you need to eat. You need the energy."

"What? So I'm strong enough to be tortured?"

You hesitate, feeling genuinely bad. "I'm sorry that-"

"No, you're not!" He snaps to face you, eyes full of fury and for a second you think he's going to attack you. "175, right?" He glances at your sleeve, "You stopped me from escaping."

"I stopped you from getting killed."

"I had it under control."

"Didn't look like it." His jaw tenses, staring down at his meal. "WCKD's Guards are trained with guns and weaponry- you're important but not nearly enough for them to risk you ruining their whole operation."

"You mean your whole operation."

"Whatever," you spit, determined to follow Vince's request, "I saved your ass, whether you appreciate it or not. I didn't know what they were going to do to you, I'm only here because-"

"Because Teresa wants you to look after me?" You blink at him, even if he can't see it. "Yeah, I saw you, even if I wasn't conscious. I knew it was you- same height and everythin'. You're helping that shuck-faced shank 'cause she feels bad that she's a shuckin' traitor that sentenced all her friends to death. Betraying little-"

"Okay," you cut him off, "I get it. I don't agree with it- do you seriously think I'd be here if I was just doing this because some bitch who doesn't even respect me asked?"

He looks at you. He really looks at you, like he can see straight through your uniform and into your soul.

"What other reason do you have?"

You shake your head, sighing through your mask. "Finish your food. I need to get rid of the dish- I'll get in deep shit if they find out I'm giving handouts to prisoners."

"The traitor didn't tell you to feed me?"

"Nah, did that all on my own." He snorts, kind of like a forced laugh, but he seems to relax a bit.

The remainder of your interaction is in silence. Minho finishes his food quickly, picking up pace once he gets taste for it. He finishes his drink, passing the glass to you instead of just putting it on the ground.

You stand and leave without saying another word. Minho doesn't attempt to change that.

This is going to be harder than you first thought.

Thomas better work fast.

○ ○ ○

You desperately try to avoid Teresa the next day, and you missed Minho for breakfast since they already took him for another round of glorified torture.

Your avoidance did not work.

"175." You've been guarding the entrance of the building for the last seven hours and you think you're starting to hallucinate. So, when Teresa actually approaches you, probably to leave for the day, you kind of wish she wasn't real.

"Hey," you greet her, for some reason smiling even though there is literally no point. "You okay?"

"I was wondering how Minho's doing?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" You attempt to joke, but when her face drops, you realise you've miss-stepped. "He's fine. As fine as you can be in this situation." You lie, mainly just wanting her to leave.

"Okay," she nods her head, accepting this, "thank you for this."

"It's no problem, Miss Agnes."

"Please, call me Teresa," she offers you a genuine smile and for a second you understand why Minho's so hurt.

"Okay then, Teresa." She flashes another smile before walking through the doors. Of course, WCKD scientists get high-end apartments away from the building.

The second day of your new routine starts. You bring Minho food- and you remember the juice, though it does make it harder to open the door.

This time, he's lay on the floor. Not the bed, the floor.

"Uh, you good?" The question even sounds dumb leaving your lips.

"Are you seriously asking me that?" He grumbles, eyes fixed on an invisible spot on the ceiling.

"Yeah, fair point." You sit on the edge of his bed, putting the food next to you but still holding the glass so it doesn't spill. Having a sticky orange juice covered bed would not improve his day. "I've brought you chicken wings and some fries, they were out of the healthy option."

He reluctantly sits up, shuffling across the floor and using the bed as a table as he sits in front of you. You pass his the drink and he sets it on the floor.

"If you're not doing this for Teresa, why are you doing this?" He asks between struggled mouthfuls of food.

You shrug, playing off your intentions. "Wanna pretend I'm a good person."

He scoffs, "No one who works here is a good person."

"That's why I said pretend."

You like to think you're doing a good job at keeping up the act. And maybe if Minho wasn't so exhausted and in pain, he might pick up on something not being quite right.

Though, you have to at least provide Vince with some kind of intel. Teresa said he's dreaming to stress the Kill-Zone part of the brain, but what's the point?

"What exactly are they doing to you?" He pauses for moment, clearly not wanting to think about it.

"Torture."

"I mean, I gathered that." Unfortunately, you have to stay stoic. Fortunately, you've basically been trained your whole life for this.

"I don't know- they put me in some weird trance and I see all the horrible things that's happened mixed with, like, a remix of traumatic things I've gone through- like they're using my shuckin' memories against me to make new ones or some klunk."

Well, that offered nothing, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It's weird. It feels so real and I can't tell it's fake when it's happening. But I'll be getting chased by Grievers down concrete corridors, or be back in that mall being hunted down by Cranks, except it's warped and keeps changing and I can't find the way we escaped. It's like being back in the shuckin' Maze, except they can control my entire body and make me do whatever they want. It's the Maze without being safe in the Glade at night, and I don't actually know how to survive."

"Huh," now, this is interesting.

"What? What is it?"

"They're trying to gain similar- or better -results as they did for the Maze trails. Except the Right Arm knows the location of all the Mazes, and pretty much all WCKD facilities so they're being forced to use psychological torture and hallucinations to mimic it instead. Since the City is on lockdown and no one can access it."

He pauses completely, blinking at you.

"What? I don't get it- why would torturing a bunch of immune teenagers help anyone."

"Because they want to cure the Flare."

"So?"

"So, Munnies and normal folk have the same structure brain, except the Kill-Zone area, the part of the brain that's damaged by the Flare, is left unaffected in those who are immune. The Kill-Zone reacts under extreme stress and produces new results and hormones that could, in theory, be used to create a cure."

Minho stops completely, the fork he's holding clattering onto the plate as he just stares at you.

"What?"

"How the shuck do you know all this? You're just a Guard but you know the biology behind all the science?"

"It's kind of common knowledge," you bluff, "the Flare's been plaguing humanity for a while- everyone knows the basic science behind it. I don't know what they expected, really."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know the Flare is man-made, right?"

A beat passes, horror crossing Minho's face. "What?"

"When the Solar Flares hit, millions of people died, but half the world was pretty much left kinda intact. But, it meant we lost half the globe's worth of supplies and important necessities, so the growing population issue grew tenfold. So, for some fuckin' reason, the big bosses of the World thought it would be a smart idea to make a deadly virus to use as population control. The virus was too strong, spread too fast- those geniuses didn't think to make a cure just in case things went wrong. And, well, the rest is history."

You're actually shocked that Vince, or even WCKD didn't tell them this, because Minho seems genuinely dumbfounded.

"Shuck it," he rests his elbows on the bed, head in his hands. "Why am I not even surprised? Trust some random WCKD shank to be giving me a buggin' history lesson."

"Kinda figured someone woulda said something."

"Yeah, well, they didn't. Some shuck-face shucked up and now I'm being literally tortued to fix it. Brilliant."

"Bummer," he snorts at this.

"Yeah, you can shuckin' say that again."

"Why do you talk like that?" You decide to ask him more questions, mainly because you are genuinely confused.

"Like what?"

"Like that? Yanno, shuck, shank, buggin', klunk- you talk fuckin' weird."

"It's just how we spoke in the Glade. Don't really know how it started, but it's engrained in my vocab now."

"That's kinda cool," he raises his eyebrow, starting to eat again, "leave a bunch of teenagers to fend for themselves and they start makin' up words. It's just interesting."

"Yeah," he hums, "guess it kinda is."

○ ○ ○

You fell surprisingly easily into a routine. You talk to Minho, inform Vince of the current WCKD methods and then go about your job.

It's a lot of effort, but Minho is starting to be less reluctant to talk to you. He fondly retells stories of the Glade, like how he and Thomas survived a night, how bad Frypan's stew was, and that one time Zart accidentally burnt down a hut and Gally didn't talk to him for a month. It sounds like they were genuinely happy there, and it breaks your heart that Minho seems to wish he was back in that trap. Especially when he tells some of the darker stories.

But now there's a problem. Vince had always been touchy and strict about relationships. He didn't want you distracted or upset over some boy, so relationships were forbidden. And considering he's the closest you have to a father figure, you obeyed. Though, that means you've never been romantically involved with a boy through your entire teenage years.

And the first time you've ended up spending long amounts of time with a boy is with the torture victim you're trying to comfort whilst simultaneously convincing him you're the reason for his capture. A very good-looking boy who seems to be warming up to you.

A very good-looking, strong boy who listens to what you tell him and seems to be taking an interest in you and is very passionate about his opinions. Opinions that, unbeknownst to him, align perfectly with yours.

Oh no.

"I don't even know your name." You and Minho sit on the floor, playing Black Jack with a pack of cards you managed to sneak into his room. He's slowly being worn down. His features are more sucken, his skin pale and his hair dishevelled and messy. None of which you can really help. "Or what you look like."

"You don't need to know my name, or what I look like, to get your ass handed to you at Twenty-One last time I checked." He rolls his eyes. He acts like a completely different person around you than to the other Guards. It's hard to watch the empty shell of the person he normally is in this room be pushed around.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it."

"No can do, sweetheart," admittedly, you want to take your mask off because it makes seeing the cards harder. But it does mean you don't have to worry about your pokerface.

Pet names had become an interesting topic. You used to endearingly call members of the Right Arm things like sweetheart, or doll, or hun- something you picked up from your father. Something that has bled into your relationship with Minho.

Not that he complains.

"C'mon," he groans, "how am I meant to be friends with a faceless freak?"

"You think we're friends?" You ask, genuinely as you take another card off of the deck, cringing as it's the ten of clubs which takes you to twenty-five.

"Well," he shrugs, "what else am I meant to call it? Stockholme Syndrome?"

"Wouldn't be that wrong of a diagnosis. You taking another card?"

"Are you?" You shake your head. Minho reveals his hand, showing twenty on his cards, and you dramatically throw yours down, showing your loss.

"God dammit!" He barks a laugh at your reaction. "Why am I so bad at this?"

"You're just playing against a master," you galre at him, "I had plenty of practice in the Glade."

"It's a game based on luck- you can't master it."

"That's what you think."

○ ○ ○

Maybe you got too used to your routine- too comfortable with Minho and the situation you're in, but when Teresa told you she'd finally gained enough courage to speak to Minho, you knew it would end badly.

Teresa enlisted you to guard the room, but with the door closed and your colleagues discussing lunch next to you, it's kinda hard to hear what's going on.

That's until Minho screams the word "Traitor" followed by a loud slamming noise.

Shit.

The other Guards scramble into the room, knocking into you and halting your progress. You burst in, panic swelling in your chest as one of them holds up a buzzing taser. Darting forward, you grab the Guard's arm, placing one arm on Minho's back to at least play it off as the shocked masked man lets go slightly.

"Stop!" You snap. "He's subdued! We don't need to inflict unnecessary pain!"

"It's protocol to-"

"175 is right," Teresa comes to your defense, controlling the atmosphere of the room. "Subject A7 has been through enough- he's in no position to cause any further harm. Return him to his cell and only act if necessary."

Without words, you yank Minho up by the back of his shirt, cringing at the 'PROPERTY OF WCKD' printed on the back. You undo the cuffs from the table and reattach them to his wrists. He makes no effort to resist. He knows he's safer with you than he is with any of his other options.

You walk him down the halls. The rage seeps off of him, his skin under his shirt is warm and his cuffed hands are balled. Unlocking the door to his cell, you push him in, probably a little bit too aggressive. But you tell yourself it's for show.

"What the fuck was that?" You hiss, stepping into the cell. Minho immediately turns to face you, his nostrils flaring, jaw tense and for the first time, you realise how scary he really can be.

"You're shucking kidding, right?" He shouts, causing you to immediately panic and try to shush him. "I'm here because of her! Everything we did- everything we went through- is because of her! And you expect me to be calm about this klunk? Just because you can act like an apathetic shuck-face, doesn't mean I can!"

He slowly walks towards you, throwing his words at you. You back away, not realising how close the door is until you hit your back against it. Minho towers over you, still in cuffs, leaving very little space between you as his chest rises and falls.

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? You're helping them! You are keeping me here! Why? You clearly don't like them and have some morals deep down- but you're still bringing me to this shuckin' cell!"

"I have no choice!" You finally shout back, making him flinch. "I don't want to watch this shit- or hurt you or anyone! But I can't help you if I'm fucking dead, Minho! You can get away with this shit because they need you! They don't need me! If I step too far out of line- then I'm dead!"

His features soften as he steps back, giving you more room to breathe.

"What exactly do you want me to do? Trust me, if I could, we'd be long gone from this hell-hole but I have no way of doing that without at least me ending up in a body bag." You huff, crossing your arms across your chest. "And what use would I be to you then?"

The bed squeaks under Minho's weight as he sits down. His legs are spread, elbows resting on his knees, head in his hands. Neither of you say anything for a couple of minutes; you take the opportunity to compose yourself.

Until Minho sniffs.

"Minho?" You push away from the door, cautiously making slow steps towards him. "Minho? Are you okay?"

"I can't do this anymore," his voice breaks as he speaks, shattering your heart in the process. "I can't- I don't- how am I meant to keep doing this?" He groans, frustration mixed with a sob shakes his whole body.

You make the bold move to sit next to him, being closer to him than you've ever dared before at the bed sinks under your weight, you shoulders bumping slightly.

"This is so much worse than the shuckin' Maze- at least I had some control in there. But here? My body- my mind- I- fuck! I have nothing. I-I feel like I'm dying. I can't live like this. Teresa said that I'm saving some kid by being tortured. But what about me? What about all the other shanks they're putting through this klunk? How is this fair? For a shuckin' maybe? They don't even know it's gonna work- how can you justify this?"

You choose to ignore the final comment, even if it stings. Gingerly, you put your arm around his shoulders, rubbing small circles into the top of his arm. He doesn't pull away, his arms dropping to between his legs.

"It's gonna be okay," you sooth him, "we're gonna get out of here, okay?" He scoffs, shaking his head.

"How am I meant to believe you? I can't even trust you."

You know he's right, but it doesn't hurt any less. You wish you could tell himself everything. About the Right Arm and why you're here- everything that Vince told you to keep to yourself.

"I know," you sigh, "I'm sorry." He looks at you, his tear stained face and puffy eyes sending a new drive of determination through you.

To your shock, he rests his head on your shoulder, allowing you to hug him further, resting your head on top of his.

"I hate you," he whispers, more like he's trying to convince himself than he is telling you.

In all honesty, Minho probably had started to develop some liking towards you. And that's what he hates. He thinks you're the enemy, that you're the reason he's here- but he doesn't have anyone else. He's completely on his own until you come into his room. He doesn't even know who you are, but he's already getting attached to you.

"Yeah, I know. Want me to take your cuffs off?"

"Please."

○ ○ ○

You slam the door to your room, immediately throwing your mask across the small space, hearing it thump against the wall. You connect to Vince, fury coursing through tour veins.

"(Y/N)?" The line connects in your ear, "You're not meant to be calling at this-

"Vince," your voice is sharp and concerned, "I need to do something- Minho is on the verge of a complete mental breakdown and I'm starting to regress in progress." You refer to his words instead of his actions- things are already complicated enough.

"Look, I'm in contact with Jorge. Things should start moving soon; Thomas and Newt have made a deal to get into the City. Stick to the plan and be prepared. I need to go."

"What? Vince-" the line falls dead, leaving you alone in your room.

The tests increase over the next couple of days. You've barely seen Minho, and Teresa completely vanishes for nearly an entire day, which raises alarm bells all over the tower- but she returns seemingly unharmed.

Until the alarms start blaring not even hours later.

Fuck.

"175!" A masked Guard bursts into your dorm, scaring the shit out if you not even seconds after the blaring starts. "There are intruders in the building! The Subjects have been released!Come on!"

He runs off, giving you absolutely no time to process what's happening. Diving under your bed, you pull out guns and weaponry you snuck into the building, straping them around your black turtle neck you wear under your uniform before hiding them with your jacket.

You burst out of the room, pulling your mask on and joining the hoards of Guards flooding through the building.

You break away. You know that Minho will be in the testing area since he won't have been with the other Subjects. So, that's where you go.

The tower has fallen into complete chaos. People are shooting at each other and Guards are running around like headless chickens.

You can't get distracted though.

You break into a sprint, staying away from everyone else as you rush to make your way up to the lab where Minho can normally be found. The lab area is surprisingly quiet, probably because you decided to take the stairs for the most part. Using your endless training for Vince to run up the multiple flights of stairs.

You do give up and take an elevator for the last few floors though. You're not superman.

Bursting onto the floor, several scientists seem thrilled that help is here, and are met with disappointment when you completely ignore them. Sprinting down the halls, you skid to a halt.

One of the lab rooms has the door thrown open. A man in a white lab coat is lay on the floor, blood pouring from his side as others seem to be knocked out and scattered across the room.

"Fuck!" You exclaim. If you had any doubts that Minho could handle himself, you definitely don't now.

"175!" Two Guards stand at the end of the hallway. "Subject A7 has escaped! We need to find him. Come on!"

You're left with little choice but to follow them. You all jog down the corridors, the opposite way to which you were originally planing on tracking Minho's footsteps.

You can see Minho, and assumingly Thomas and Newt hugging beyond a room that's walls are all glass. One of the windows from the far room is completely shattered, and you can see a knocked out Guard on the floor.

"Hands up!" The Guard on your left shouts, catching the three boys off-guard. "Drop your weapons!"

Judging by the fact none of the trio move, you're assuming that they've ran out of ammo.

One on your left, the other on your right, you whip your gun out, pointing it at your unsuspecting allies.

It's now or never.

Minho's face drops at the realisation it's you. Was everything you said a lie to make him more compliant? Despite the uniform, he's gotten completely used to you based on height and the brown army boots you wear- different to the black owns adorn by the rest of WCKD employees. It's a subtle difference implemented by Vince just in case. But Minho doesn't know that.

"Seriously?" He snaps, making the other boys exchange glances. "After all this- everything that's happened- you're still with them?"

Newt and Thomas look completely lost, looking back at Minho, who is staring directly at you, hands still at his side.

"Please," you scoff, "I was never with them."

Without warning, you slam your elbow into the stomach of the guard on your left, using the shock to slam to end of your gun into the side of their head. The other one goes to shoot at you, but you rip your Guard's jacket off, throwing it at them.

It engulfs them entirely, making them stumble back. Pointing the pistol at them, a loud bang fills the room as the bullet finds its new home through the fabric and in the Guard's head. Their body hits the floor in a heap and you make no attempt to retrieve your jacket.

Minho steps back, stunned. His hands go to his hair as the other boys lower their arms.

"It's nice to finally meet you, (Y/N)." Thomas sounds surprisingly calm, Newt looks between him and Minho, the cogs setting in place.

"Likewise," you grab the bottom of your mask, pulling it over your head and letting it fall to the floor. Finally revelaing yourself to Minho, you feel slightly insecure about what he'll think of your face, but you don't show it. Not that it matters because he's staring at you in some form of awe.

"What? You guys know- what? What is happening?"

"I'll explain later- we need to move." The boys all mumble in agreement as you join them, hearing footsteps and Janson's irriating voice not that far away.

You all start moving, you taking the lead with more of an understanding of the building.

"What? I don't understand what's happening? How do you know her?" He asks Thomas as your eyes land on Newt. You've seen their files, a long time ago, but you can tell who's who.

Newt's skin is pale, his eyes dark and he glistens with sweat. He's infected. And you're not immune. This could end badly.

"She's with the Right Arm- Vince's secret weapon."

"Sorry I didn't tell you, hun, but I was under strict orders to keep my mouth shut. Let's just get out of here alive and I'll explain everything," you try to hurry them along. "Tommy-boy, fill me in on what's going on."

Just as the words leave your mouth, static connects in your ear. Vince.

"(Y/N), I'm on my way to the City- what's going on on your end?"

"I'm with the boys," you respond, completely confusing the trio even more. Voices behind you and footsteps make you all break into a sprint. "Here! Come on!" You pull them into a room, they barricade the door as you continue talking.

"We're tryna get out but it's not looking good."

"What now?" Newt asks as you all examine the room. "Is there another way out of here?" He asks you and you simply shake your head.

The drilling sound of a mechanical saw fills to room.

"Any ideas?" Minho shouts, backing away from the door.

Thomas turns around, examining the window. "Maybe."

It take the three of them to pick up a metal container, presumably full of anaesthetic gas through the window. It shatters on impact, sending shards and the cannister hundred of feet down into the water.

You all stand on the edge, looking at the boy as he seems to be questioning himself. "Okay, it's doable- just need a little running start."

All three of look at each other like Thomas is losing his mind. But you still all follow him further back into the room, standing by his side. You stand between Minho and Thomas, taking a second to think about how you life has led you to this.

"You sure about this?" Minho asks him, and it's obvious these boys are going to follow him to the ends of the Earth.

"Not really."

Well, that's brilliant.

"Nice pep talk." Minho sarcastically states, his wit still prominent as ever.

"Yeah, we're all blood inspired."

At least the feeling is mutual.

The door bursts open with a bang, all of you turning to face Janson breaking into the room before Minho grabs your hand, dragging you with him as you all break into a sprint. Jumping at the last second, you all plummet out of the window.

"Thomas!" Minho yells.

"Oh shit!" Thomas responds.

You're submerged in the water, just managing to hold your breath last second. It takes all of you a moment to rise again, all panting and all stressed.

Gasping for air, you and Minho look up, catching Janson standing at the edge of the window.

Thomas puts his middle finger up at him.

Kind of iconic.

Swimming to get to the ledge, you make sure they reach them first, taking Thomas' hand as he pulls you out of the water.

"You four, don't move!" You all immediately turn to face to group of WCKD's armed men walking towards you. Thomas takes the front as Minho grabs your arm, pulling you protectively behind him.

He seems to have forgiven you pretty fast, at least.

"Take it easy!" One of the masked men shouts. Hidden by Minho, you pull another gun out of your weapon holder that's strapped around your middle. Thomas also reaches for a gun.

"Ah-ah! Don't even think about it! Get on your knees with your hands in the air!"

One of the Guards suddenly turns around, shooting the other three that are standing with him. Minho immediately steps back, reaching for you and finding contact with your wrist.

"You son of a bitch!" One of them groans, the electricity from the Launcher leaving them useless.

Your savior approaches, taking his mask of and revealing... some dude. Though the others seem shocked.

"Gally?" Minho gasps, and you snap to look at him, returning to his side.

"Minho." The boy simply says. "You guys are nuts." He looks at you. "(Y/N) (L/N), big fan." You blink at him.

"Thanks?"

"I'll explain later," Thomas playful pats his friend on the arm whilst Minho is having some kind of internal meltdown. He's going to be enlightened by the time everyone's told him everything.

The other boys walks ahead and you look at him. "I thought you said you..." You trail off, completely at a loss yourself and remembering what he'd told you about Gally.

"Yeah, me too."

You both connect back to the group, awkwardly ducking and crouching whilst you run through the City.

Trying to hide from helicopters isn't easy.

"Well, they're definitely pissed," Gally states as you hide behind some planters that some trees are in.

"How far are the tunnels?" Thomas asks the new boy.

"Uh, maybe twelve blocks from here." Newt coughs, and you look at Minho, who is very clearly in some serious distress. "We can make it."

"Newt, how you feeling?" Minho crouches in front of his friend.

"Terrible," the boy responds honestly. "It's good to see you though." He pats his friend weakly, and you remind yourself to stay at a safe distance.

Minho joins the other boys whilst you stay with Newt. "He's one lucky shank," Newt tries to laugh.

"What?"

"Havin' you around- some badass chick lookin' after him whilst we couldn't. Pretty, too." You scoff at Newt's attempt at small talk.

"I don't know if he'll agree with that."

"Hey, Newt, we gotta get you up. Gotta get goin'." You help Thomas pull up the sick boy, who nearly falls flat on his face whilst Minho and Gally exchange some words.

Minho takes Newt off of your shoulders, sensing your slight distance from the boy.

They start struggling to carry Newt through the City, when a load explosion and bursts of flames from the walls stops you all dead in your tracks.

"We're supposed to take down WCKD, not the whole damn City," Gally stares into the flames, and you have no idea what's going on. But that's not good.

"Gally, c'mon," Thomas say, yanking them both away whilst you stand with Gally, waiting for him to move. Sirens fill your ears as you start to follow him.

"Tunnels are right up ahead. Shit!" You move round a corner, following Gally's instructions, only to come across a battle field. "Stay low! Stay low!"

"What are they waiting for?" Minho asks as you all hide once again. Unfortunately, he's answered as another round of explosions courses through the streets.

Violence erupts. "We gotta go! We gotta go!" The boys struggle moving Newt again, and you stay behind Gally. Desperately trying to not get hit, you hold your gun in your hands, ready to kill anyone that gets too close. Your job now is to protect these boys.

You retreat to a nearby building, where Thomas contacts Brenda over the radio. You can't make out what they're saying over the static and gunshots. You're too busy trying to shield Newt and Minho.

Though you do make out a clear. "I'm coming to you."

Vince.

You pick up again. "We're almost there," Gally pushes forward, taking the lead as you cover the back.

"Just leave me," Newt grumbles before a truck explodes, sliding across the roads.

A Berg flies overhead, giving you some glimsp of hope. But with Newt is his current condition, you can't keep moving.

"Minho," Thomas looks at his friend, "you run ahead, grab the serum, and get back to us as soon as you can." The boy hesitates, looking at Thomas. "Minho. Go."

"He's right," Gally states, "I can cover."

"Me too," you add.

"No, you're staying here, you could get hurt," Minho tells you, showing you that he actually might not hate you after all.

"I'm coming with you." You're more definite, putting your foot down and leaving with no choice.

Minho caves, going to stand until Newt grabs him. "Thank you." Black drool covers his chin, and his eyes are bloodshot and shifty. He's not gone just yet, but it's not far off. "Thank you, Minho."

"Hey, just hang on, you hear me?"

The three of you make your move. You and Gally cover the faster boy, both of you using your expertise to let him make a run for it.

Teresa's voice rings over the loudspeakers. Her voice trying to pressure Thomas to return to her. But you, Gally and Minho can't afford to stop and listen.

Running at full speed, you reach the Berg, not taking any time to acknowledge your father figure you haven't seen in nearly two years.

"Where's the serum?" Minho yells at a girl with short hair- you're assuming Brenda.

She makes a run for it. Bolting through the City and you're all hot on her heels, a new boy, Frypan, joining the mix.

The four of you get stuck in a tunnel during a shootout, using a car for cover as Brenda keeps going.

"Shit," Minho hisses from next to you. You look at him. "You should've told me."

"I couldn't," the poor Frypan clearly has no idea what either of you are talking about. "You know I couldn't."

"I could've- we could've- shuck it!" He lashes out, kicking a piece of debris that's in front of him. "We need to help Newt. This can wait."

He's mad at you. It's weird- he's protective but furious. He doesn't want you to get hurt but that might be because he wants to hurt you himself.

"Come on!" Gally shouts, "We're clear! Let's move!"

And with that, you're all on your feet again, dodging bullets and flying through the City to try and return to Thomas and his sick friend.

You slow to a jog as the people in front of you slow, spotting Brenda motionlessly standing in an empty pathway. You once again stay back, just about joining them as you watch Minho hit the floor.

His body crumbles in front of Newt's corpse, a knife sticking out of his chest. You stand next to Brenda, observing the distraught washing over the group. You've known Newt for under half an hour, but you can tell he played a huge part in these people's lives.

You suck in a deep breath, approaching Minho from behind. "I'm sorry," you murmur. "I'm so sorry, Minho."

He pulls his eyes away, looking at you instead as you rest your hand on his shoulder.

"You really couldn't have done anything, could you?" He's sincere, all of his anger washing away for a second. You shake your head.

He's on his feet in seconds, throwing his arms around you, knocking you back slightly. His entire world as he knows it is crumbling, but he's seeking comfort in you.

You hug him back, your hand coming to the back of his head, holding him steady as his body trembles. "We can't stay here," you whisper. "We need to move."

"She's right," Gally agrees, overhearing, "it's dangerous. We need to get back to the Berg."

"What about Thomas?" Brenda's voice breaks.

"We'll find him," you pull away from the boy. "But we have more chance of doing that from the Berg."

They all agree, leaving Newt's body and returning to the perilous task of making your way through the City. You take control, being the only person in sound mind to do so.

It takes a lot, but you get there, making sure everyone enters the Berg before you.

"(Y/N)!" You turn as Vince makes his way over to you. "You did it!"

"Vince!" Throwing your arms around him, you allow yourself to relax. You both pull away, emotions of the past two years of your life finally starting to spill out. "We lost Newt."

He sighs. "I'm sorry. But you did everything you could."

"No," you sniff, "I didn't. I could have done more- figured something out. Done literally anything else- I- I could've saved him."

Unbeknownst to you, Minho is watching and listening from a distance. He's known you as stern and in control this entire time, but watching you fall apart in Vince's presence reminds him that you're just another kid that's been put through hell.

He wasn't mad at you anymore. Seeing Newt's corpse and the sympathy you possessed showed him that. But now he pities you. He doesn't know anything of the sacrifices you've made.

"That wasn't your job- it was meant to just be a simple intel gig and it all went wrong. I shouldn't have put that pressure on you." Vince's words do little to make you feel better.

"We have to find Thomas," you compose yourself, returning to your normal stoic form in the blink of an eye.

You make your way onto the Berg, Vince not too far behind you. You make eye contact with Minho, but you don't have time to deal with that right now.

"Miss (L/N)," (you're assuming) Jorge approaches you, a grin on his face, "it's an honour to meet you." He holds his hand out for you to shake. "Ha! You're a living legend, hermano. In the flesh."

"Don't go praising me so soon, dude, this shit ain't over yet." He follows you like a lost dog as you travel further into the ship, "Have you got Thomas' location?"

"The signals weak and the building's burning- but he seems to have returned to the area of WCKD's tower."

"That's where we'll head then."

"Wait," Vince stands behind you as you ignore the stares from the Berg full of people, "the City's being destroyed- I don't know if this is a good idea."

"We can't leave him- we wouldn't be here if it weren't for him he deserves a chance at a happy life and we've already lost too many good people. We're saving Thomas, V. I don't care what you say." Vince looks at Jorge, who has a faint smile creeping across his and returns the stare.

"I'm doin' what the girl says. Kid's got fire; can tell you raised her." Jorge winks at you, making his way to the cockpit.

"You've changed, huh?" You don't even bother looking at Vince.

"It's been a rough couple of years. Let's just get this over with."

The Berg starts up, and you join Brenda, Gally, Frypan and Minho at the open doors, examining the City and the surrounding area of the burning tower.

"So," Gally starts, "everything they say about you? It true?"

"Depends what they're saying." You don't pull your eyes away from the ground as the Berg moves in large, circular motions.

"A lot of klunk about causing WCKD problems- apparently you were the one that convinced Thomas to release WCKD co-ordinates to Dr. Cooper."

Minho looks at you, but don't meet his eyes.

"Yeah, I might've had something to do with that."

You finally raise higher, examining the top of the now fully inflamed tower.

"There!" You shout, "That's them!" Thomas is clearly injured, half being carried by Teresa.

So, he did return.

"What's wrong with him?" Frypan shouts and you shake your head.

"I don't know. Jorge! Get closer!"

There's a struggle as the Berg moves, your hearing turns to static as all you can focus on is reaching them. Qualms with Teresa aside, she's clearly helping Thomas.

Come on! Move closer! Let's go!

The same phrases are repeated as you slide further down the door, clinging onto one of the wire hinges so you don't fall and join them. You grab Thomas, along with the others' hands grabbing towards him, with the help of Teresa throwing him.

You manage to pull him on, and he immediately turns to Teresa. You go to reach out to her, but an explosion knocks her back, forcing the Berg to pull away.

A missile hits the building, and you all watch in horror as it collapses beneath Teresa, swallowing her into the darkness.

○ ○ ○

The next few hours are a complete blur. Thomas had been shot and was seriously bleeding out. With the help of you and Vince, you managed to slow the bleeding.

You didn't even get a chance to admire the Safe Haven when you finally landed because you were too busy trying to save Thomas' life. You got him to the medical professionals, and after several jarring hours, they confirmed he'd be okay. But he'd be asleep for a while.

Since then, you've been spending all your time catching up with Vince and reconnecting with the people you grew up with. It's very bittersweet, and you haven't had the chance, or the bravery, to talk to Minho yet.

You decided to give the Gladers some space. They'd been through hell and they need to process and talk amongst themselves for a while.

After a while, Thomas wakes up, and you watch his reunion with Minho from a distance.

Your feelings for Minho are complicated, and it's beyond clear, so are his for you. It wasn't ever going to be simple, but the events of him turning to you for comfort at least tell you there's more than his initial anger.

"You like him, don't you?" Vince's voice makes you jump as you lean against a wooden beam, observing from your safe space.

"What?"

"Minho? You like him."

You scoff. "I don't think it really matters. I don't know if it ever will."

"You protected him and saved him."

"I also held him captive and did nothing to stop the torture."

"You couldn't have done anything."

"That's not the point, and you know it."

He sighs.

"I thought you were against boys and shit, anyway?" You glance over your shoulder at him.

He shrugs, "You're clearly more than capable of making your own choices. And we're not permanently fighting for our lives anymore, so I don't really have a problem with it. You deserve to have a normal life, kid. You might finally get that here." He rubs your shoulder, slipping past and leaving you to think.

○ ○ ○

Night falls quickly. Vince finally gives a speech, earning rounds of cheers from around the bonfire as you hover behind him, staring off into the crowd with your hands in your pockets.

Vince reveals a large stone pillar in the centre of the sitting area, talking about remembering those we've lost and keeping their memories alive. You watch as Vince is the first, carving Mary's name into the stone.

To your surprise, Vince then immediately hands the chisel to you. You blink at it, before realising and taking it off of you.

People one by one, with their own tools, take the chance to add to the memorial.

You take your time, carving names into the stone, recounting the events of your life. You step back, smiling to yourself, admiring your own work. Even under the depressing conditions.

"Who are they?" You look over your shoulder, your body following you as you stand sideways. Minho's gaze is fixated on the stone. He looks a lot better now, clearly having a couple of days to recover.

"They're uh, they're my parents," you avoid his gaze, but answer honestly.

"You lost your parents?"

"I've lost everyone. My whole family, but I don't think there's enough space for them all," the joke is dark, and Minho doesn't laugh, even when you scoff.

"I had no idea."

"How could you?" You sigh, "You know nothing about me."

"Do you miss them?" The question makes you hesitate.

"I barely knew my mother- the Flare got her when I was young, so..."

"That's not what I asked," his tone is blunt, obviously still harbouring some negativity within the complications.

"...Yes. I miss them. I doubt there will be a day when I don't. My father used to say something that I think is still important- 'mortality doesn't ruin love; it only makes it stronger'."

He looks at you. For the first time, he seems to finally see the real person that's standing in front of you. "Does it ever get better?"

"Yeah, it gets better," you offer him a sympathetic smile, knowing what he's talking about. "The painful memories just become... memories after a while. It feels like it'll never get better, but it does. It becomes precious instead of hard to think about." You step towards him, handing the chisel to him.

He takes it, slowly, seemingly letting your fingers brush against each other on purpose. You go to walk away, but his voice stops you.

"Hey, 175," the number stuns you, making you spin on your heels, rage flooding your features. But it melts away the second you see Minho's dumb grin. "You're right. I don't know anything about you- but I'd like to. If you're willing to tell me."

You nod, smiling at him, "Yeah, I'd like that."

So, when you found Minho sitting on the sand later that night, sitting in front of the ocean, basking in the moonlight, you take the opportunity to approach him.

You silently sit next to him, and he looks at you, following your movements. You pull something out of your pocket, lightly shaking the small box that he immediately recognises as a deck of cards.

"Fancy a game?" He scoffs, turning to face you.

"Only if you actually talk to me."

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"What's worth knowing?"

"Ah, well, that depends on what you deem important."

You fall into a surprisingly natural conversation with him. Both of you actually laughing at some of the things you tell him and the dumb stories from the Right Arm. You also somehow manage to finally win a game of Black Jack, much to Minho's dismay.

"So," you shuffle, brushing some of the sand off of one of your cards, "you still wanna be friends?" Originally, you said this jokingly, but Minho's hesitation makes you nervous.

"Not really," he says after a beat, and your heart sinks. "Shuck it," he laughs, "maybe I really do have, what was it? Stockholme Sydrome? Whatever. It sounds so dumb, but even if we were kinda stuck... I don't think I would've survived back there if it wasn't for you."

He seems almost flustered. "I don't know if my head's shucked or what, but is it really that weird to have a little crush on a kind girl in a mask?"

"No," you let out a content sigh, more satisfied with his strange confession than you expected, "but maybe you should talk to someone about that."

He playfully kicks you, making you feign an injury. "Yanno, I'd be lying if I said I didn't start kinda liking you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah- which is probably bad because we had a very unbalanced power dynamic." He snorts at this, shaking his head.

"So, what now?"

"Well, what do you wanna do now?"

He shrugs, leaning forward and picking up another card. "I don't think I want to do anything. I think I need to understand you more, and process everything I've been through. Everything I've lost. I mean, there's no rush, right?"

"Yeah. There's no rush," you nod. "For the first time ever, we actually have time to wait."

"You're willing to wait for me?"

"'Course I am. I've got to help run this place and work out my own shit too. I've got enough going on to distract me from pining over you." You exaggerate your tone, making him roll his eyes. "Seriously, take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

○ ○ ○

"You reckon they'll be okay?" Thomas asks Vince as the pair watch the both of you from a distance. Thomas smiles faintly as he watches you flick sand at Minho over losing whatever game you're playing.

"Yeah," Vince replies, finally peacefully watching the closest thing he has to family enjoy herself. "Maybe not now, but that's fine- they have all the time in the world to be okay."

Oh my God, this took me forever. But, I've got no other requests at the moment so I figured go big or go home. Seriously, this was such a cool idea and I loved writing it. Pieces like these take literal days to write, so don't be expecting them too often, but I do love more complex and indepth stories.

Also, I am so down to do a part 2 to this if you guys want to see more of yours and Minho's relationship in the Safe Haven- maybe some more developing relationship stuff, or even some spice if that is want y'all want.

Anyway, I just know no one is gonna see all of this because it's just so LONG. Literally, this thing is so big my Tumblr is lagging. But still, I hope you enjoyed :))

#🌿 petri tmr minho #🌿 petri writes tmr #🌿 petri writes #🍃 petri tmr #tmr fanfiction #tmr minho #minho the maze runner #minho tmr #minho tmr x reader #tmr imagines #minho maze runner

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gyunglitter · 8 months

Text

➷ 01 ➷

-“oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn’t real -– cupid is so dumb”

unlike you, your brother’s best friend just doesn’t know when to quit

word count: 1,766

warnings: probably just the reader making you cringe lol, give her a break--she's 11 lmao

tags: brother’s-best-friend!beomgyu x reader, ??? to ???, angst, fluff(??), beomgyu is the cool boy-next-door, reader is an independent girlboss (or trying to be, at least), beomgyu’s gonna be GROVELING, simp!gyu, pathetic pining from both sides lol, maybe some cringe from reader (she was a teenage girl in love, have some empathy plz😭)

notes: LMAO SORRY TO POST KINDA LATE, I FORGOT I PROMISED TODAY HAHAHAHA

another short chapter, but i promise the next couple of chapters are a lot longer! enjoy mini reader, beomgyu, and soobin tho :)

–> masterlist <–

Ten Years Ago

If there was one thing your family agreed on, it was that Soobin was the shyest person around.

You and Soobin were very close, having a lot of the same interests and mannerisms. You didn’t disagree on many things (yet), but there were only a handful of differences between you two. You were eleven years old, making your older brother thirteen, and about to go into his final year of middle school. But the main thing that had set you both apart was that while you had many friends, Soobin had absolutely no one. He was a very sweet and funny kid, but he was too shy for his own good, unintentionally pushing the majority of the people his age away.

You had hoped your brother would make some friends during his seventh year, but had little to no luck; apparently, the Bunny Girl Senpai Fanclub wasn’t taking many applicants and the Pokemon Card Collectors Club was a bunch of gatekeepers. Middle school boys.

“What if I just faked being sick?”

Soobin held his head in his hands as he was waiting for his pop tarts in the toaster. You sat on the counter across from him, shoving down a bowl of Frosted Flakes. You didn’t have to leave for another hour when your mom would drive you to the primary school a few blocks away. Soobin, on the other hand, was supposed to set off for his first day of eighth grade soon, but was stalling as much as he could before he had to start walking over.

You snorted, “For the whole year? Fat chance of that happening, you’re the worst liar.”

Your brother lifted his head and glared at you, before sighing loudly and crying, “I hate school, it’s filled with people who are scary and take your rare Charizard card!”

You opened your mouth to reply, but were interrupted by your house’s doorbell ringing. You looked towards the front door and turned back to Soobin expectantly. But your brother wasn’t paying any attention. To your (un)amusement, he was still sulking about, well, just about everything. Like you said, middle school boys.

Shaking your head, you hopped off of the counter (carefully, as your dad had shown you) and walked over to the front door.You figured it was one of your neighbors or the mailman. You usually weren’t allowed to open the door yourself, but that completely escaped your mind when you opened the door and were faced with an unfamiliar boy.

A cute, unfamiliar boy.

You mentally thanked your mom for braiding your hair in two with your favorite butterfly clips now.

“Hi,” you said, a small grin taking over your face. “I’m Y/n!”

The boy looked at you and smiled back. “Hey, Y/n, your mom or dad home?”

You nodded your head. “They are, but they’re running around getting ready. I can definitely help you though!” What can you say, you were a confident kid.

“I don’t know, you might be a bit too little,” he teased you, making you scoff.

“Little? I’ll have you know, I can deal with anything, even crazy!”

He laughed a little at that and then said, “Of course! I’m sure you’re super responsible at the age of..?”

“Eleven,” you bragged, tucking a stray hair back into one of your butterfly clips.

The boy nodded in deep understanding and said, “Well, little Y/n, I’m Beomgyu. I just moved here and my mom told me you guys had someone my age here too! I figured we could walk to school together,” he said, rubbing the back of his head.

Your eyes widened at that, a warm feeling taking over your stomach.

The boy was cute, duh. But his easy offer of friendship, something your brother had struggled to find, made you know that this Beomgyu had a kindness to him that not many his age did–according to Soobin.

Your grin widened at the boy in front of you, nodding your head eagerly. “Just give me a sec,” you squealed, excited for your brother. “OPPA! YOU’RE FINALLY GONNA MAKE A FRIEND!”

Years later, you look back and remember the loud laugh Beomgyu had let out at your call, his excitement outweighing the awkwardness Soobin exhibited when he appeared at your doorway with a pop tart hanging from his mouth.

You look back and remember Beomgyu easily befriending Soobin with his wide smiles, animated hand gestures, and cool stories about his new pet bird. The way he eased your brother’s nerves and got him laughing, already offering to share the other pop tart in his pack.

You look back and cringe sometimes at the confidence those lame butterfly clips gave you. But you take it back when you would remember Beomgyu, with an arm around Soobin’s shoulder, had turned around while the two boys were about to take off for school, saying in a singsong tone, “Nice to meet you, little Y/n, love the butterfly clips, by the way!”

But most of all, you remember the way your cheeks flushed. The way he made you feel like you were cute too. Like you were special. You remember how that was the first of many times he would fluster you with his compliments.

You were only eleven, but at that moment you would look back and remember how this is where you became a fool–a fool for love.

“You look really good,” he whispered to you.

It took everything in you to not show how much he affected you. Unlike the many instances before though, you actually succeeded this time around. Your focused gaze on your brother and father’s random discussion about his anime watching habits kept your eyes from widening, and your well placed makeup did a good job of hiding the flush that desperately wanted to highlight your neck and cheeks. It bothered you very much how Choi Beomgyu could still get under your skin.

“Thanks,” you replied shortly, not letting your eyes leave their spot on Soobin.

–Your brother was whining about how there was no harm in watching anime when he already got his work done for the day–

Despite your subtle avoidance of him, you knew it wasn’t reciprocated by the way his breaths brushed against your ear. The way his eyes were on you, you could feel them as if they were burning you. It felt like he was truly drinking you in after so many years of not getting a single glimpse of you. But that was all you would allow him.

“I, uh, it’s nice to see you again. It’s been a while,” he continued, trying to catch your attention.

You hummed disinterestedly.

–Your father had taken to pointing out Soobin’s body pillows, to which he groaned loudly, claiming that was actually Beomgyu’s gag gift to make him look sus–

But Beomgyu was not deterred.

“Congrats on, well, everything from the past four years! I know college can be pretty crazy!”

You winced a little at that, remembering how your mom told you Beomgyu had actually dropped out of college about three months after you left for school. Despite Beomgyu doing amazing in school when you were still around–there was talk of him possibly graduating at the top of your class–he practically tanked his classes the following fall semester.

“But of course, if there was anyone who could deal with crazy, it would be our little Y/n, huh,” he laughed a little–that same damn laugh he had when you first met. “I mean, you are pretty amazing—”

You weren’t sure what he had gotten up to after you left, but you weren’t interested in hearing anything. Not about him, his future, and definitely not about how amazing he thought you were.

“Wow dad, this shrimp tastes great!” You shouted your false gratitude, successfully interrupting Beomgyu and the argument between your brother and father.

All the chatter stopped for a second, before your dad grinned at you. “Thanks, bean, make sure to grab some more then! You’re looking too skinny, anyways, are you sure you ate enough out there,” he asked, wiping his hands on the front of his apron.

You laughed and nodded, both at your dad’s question and Soobin's grateful stare for changing the topic. Eventually, your mother started another conversation about how Soobin’s friends from school were doing.

“I thought you didn’t like seafood,” Beomgyu muttered to you when he got the chance.

For the first time that evening, you looked back at him.

You realized, with a painful squeeze in your chest, that Beomgyu had grown past the stage of cuteness that you had adored when you were younger, and in your absence, became beautiful. Sure, his puppy dog eyes stayed the same, holding that familiar kindness and curiosity as before. But now, his face lost its round edges and became chiseled, looking as if his features were carved by Aphrodite, herself. His hair was dyed brown and had grown out a little into what was beginning to look like a mullet, giving off a boyish look that his typically mischievous expressions matched easily. Not only that, but he looked like he’d really grown into himself, physically and mentally. Granted, he wasn’t in the best place when you had left four years ago, but the way he carried himself was refreshing. Attractive. Him.

“I didn’t, but I do now.” You took another bite of the shrimp on your plate. “I mean, it’s been a long four years. The things I liked before changed quite a bit while I was gone. ”

You watched Beomgyu’s face fall a bit at that, his puppy dog eyes becoming downcast as he looked towards his own plate of chicken. There wasn’t much on his plate to begin with, but it seemed he wasn’t going to be eating any more after that.

“Yeah, I guess they would after so long,” Beomgyu whispered, pushing his food around with his chopsticks.

You turned back to your own food to try and get your mind off of him, but he stopped you with his next words.

“If it changes anything, so have mine.”

This time, you couldn’t stop your eyes from widening. You turned towards Beomgyu, to see him looking at you with what you could only assume was guilt.

“I just wish they had done so earlier.”

–> next <–

#tomorrow x tomorrow #txt #beomgyu #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu angst #choi yeonjun #choi soobin #hueningkai #kang taehyun #stupid cupid

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acourtofinkandpapyrus · 8 months

Text

My Little Shadow: Part Thirteen (Azriel x Reader)

Warnings: Kidnapping, torture, blood and injuries

Tag list: @mis-lil-red @bubybubsters @luvmoo @rorel1a @minakay @foreverrandomwritings

Part twelve Part thirteen

You manage so save Azriel... but what about yourself?

Hewn City was quieter than usual. Whatever was going on, no one wanted to be part of it.

I didn’t blame them, for once.

I had ended up with Cassian, the two of us flying through rooms, people running away in our wake.

I reached out for one of the wall mounted lamps, tugging down to reveal a hidden door a little further down.

“How likely is he to be in there?” Cassian growls, and I can’t help but to thank the mother he’s not one of my enemies.

“I don’t know. My father doesn’t know that I know about these passages, so it’s a good bet he’ll be in one of the ones I mentioned.”

We continued down the hallway until my shadows which I had sent ahead slingshot-ed back, and I knew Azriel was ahead.

“He’s here. So are five others.” I whisper, barely audible.

“It’s probably a trap.” He responds, and I let my shadows wrap around me.

“Does it matter?”

He shoots me a grin. “Hell no.”

We both slam the door open at the end of the hall, and I make a quick scan for any of those sigils, just to double check.

My eyes caught on Azriel, chained to the floor in the middle of the room. He was bleeding heavily, his face bruised and cut up, his back had burn marks all across it now, and to my horror his beautiful wings had been snapped in multiple places, cut up and mutilated.

Azriel doesn’t even notice us through his haze of pain, using all his energy from falling to the floor.

His attackers do though.

I don’t know if it was me or Cassian who let out the bloody war cry, but I didn’t care, I was so enveloped with rage for what they had done to my beautiful, sweet, Azriel.

What they had done to my mate.

The one with the branding iron found my wrath first, the weapon tumbling from his hand in shock as he screamed.

I sent my shadows forward, and the four other men were gaping at me in horror. Cass was trying to get Azriel unchained.

He had trained me, and he knew well enough that I could handle these four men myself.

And I was going to enjoy it.

Their screams echoed throughout the room and hallway for over ten minutes, much longer than I needed to kill them.

Once the screaming stopped though, I headed over to Azriel and Cassian. Azriel had fallen unconscious, and Cassian was hauling him over his shoulder. “Will he be alright?” I asked, not bothering to hide the panic in my voice.

He nodded. “We just need to get him home.”

“Well, I’m sorry to ruin the reunion, but I think I’m going to need you all to stay a bit longer.” I watched in terror as my father entered the room, wearing a suit of black with red accents.

My eyes flick to his neck, where a thin collar of ebony resides. It’s not unlike the rings the maids who had cleaned and dressed me that horrible day wore.

My gut twisted in anxiety. Something about this was wrong, my mind screamed.

I positioned myself in front of Cassian and Azriel. I knew the general didn’t need protection, but my mate did.

And so, without a second thought, I send my shadows to them, whisking them off in moments.

“You have me here father,” My shadows quickly returned, telling me that this man wasn’t my father. I believed them. “Or, whatever you are. What is it you want from me?”

The thing grins, and I can see a glimpse of what that thing is that is in my father. “Not many can see us, you know. We go undetected for years in most cases, but now… These shadowsingers are more a pain than anything, but we still have a use for you.”

I would laugh, but the sight of Azriel, battered and broken still haunted me. “Do you really think that I’m just going to go with you willingly?”

He laughs, the sound wicked and pleased. “You are just as spirited as I thought you would be.”

“Seize her.”

I hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings, too distracted by thoughts of my mate and avenging him.

I whip around, swinging my sword so that anyone standing there would receive a gash like no other.

But there was no one standing there.

No, there were creatures, horrible, twisted creatures that wore ebony rings that clinked against the marble floor as they scurried over.

I let out a strangled cry as one of them grabbed my ankle with inhuman strength, tugging hard and pulling my feet out from under me.

Using everything in me, I fought back. But as soon as I cut one, another came and took its place, or maybe it was the same one coming back. Their hands clawed at every inch of me, the only thing I could see were these hideous beings as I screamed.

It was only a matter of moments before I was disarmed, letting out a cry as one of the creatures pulled me up by the hair to look into the eyes of their master.

Their fingers dug into my sides and limbs, keeping me utterly still as the thing inside my father studied me with cruel excitement. “I think you’ll be easier to break than the last one.” He said with cruel excitement in his eyes.

I screamed into the void as the creatures dragged me father down into the depths of Hewn City, down farther than even I thought the tunnels went.

Eventually I was thrown down before some sort of structure, chained to the floor much like I had seen Azriel before.

My stomach twisted as I realized where this was heading.

“I’m never going to give you anything, no matter what you do to me.” I say, speaking with more confidence than I felt.

He grinned as if he could see right through my attempt at bravery. “I have a feeling that will change soon.” He hummed as he picked up a bottle of something.

“That male was your mate, correct?”

I struggled with myself not to snarl at him, at the dismissive way he said it.

He grinned as he turned around with the bottle, grabbing my chained wrist and pouring the cold, oily liquid over my hands. “Maybe you should have matching scars then.”

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m1ckeyb3rry · 6 months

Text

Hurricanes / Hummingbirds: XIV

Series Synopsis: As the years go by, you find that it is incredibly difficult to survive wars and fight storms, especially when the only thing you have by way of a cursed technique is the blessing of a tiny bird.

Chapter Synopsis: You face the Second Beast of Ten.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Hajime Kashimo x Female Reader; slight Kento Nanami x Female Reader; slight Satoru Gojo x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.0k

Content Warnings: swearing, enemies/rivals to lovers, character death, canon-typical violence, angst, gore, original characters included

A/N: okay so this fic is officially over 70k words as of this chapter and there still has not been a single kiss in it. just putting that out there (pls don’t hate me)

“So do we just plan on aimlessly riding around until we somehow magically happen upon this girl, or do you have an actual plan for where we should go next?” you said, sliding your foot in your stirrup and using it to boost yourself into the saddle. Instead of squeezing the mare onwards as you usually would’ve upon mounting, though, you twisted to look at your companion as he did the same.

“It makes little difference to me,” he said.

“That’s very good, but it makes quite a bit of a difference to me. The faster we get to her, the faster I can get my sword,” you said. You weren’t sure whether the direction he chose was a random one or if he had some purpose in picking it, but either way he set off, so you decided you would follow. “The man said that there are Twelve Beasts of Ten. I suppose that that rat — Nezumi — was the first, though I can hardly figure out what the rest will be or what forms they will take. They must be the siblings it spoke of. The man seemed to think that the rest of the Beasts would be much more difficult to face than Nezumi; at least, he said that one day, one of Daisuke’s swords might be the very thing to save my life. As I am not in the business of dying, I’d like very much if we could get all of this over with before the next Beast appears.”

“Poor Y/N,” Kashimo said. “They have you fighting beasts now.”

“Ah, well, nothing to be done about it. I’ll have to defeat the Twelve Beasts if I want to reach their master, so that’s what I’ll do,” you said, though of course you agreed with Kashimo. What relation did animals have to the lord of the sky? You couldn’t quite understand, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that they existed, and if you wanted to face Ten, you had to kill all Twelve Beasts the way you had killed Nezumi.

Perhaps Ten had a particular sense of humor. Certainly, he must’ve been listening to your conversation, because no sooner than you had lamented to Kashimo that you wished to obtain a sword before the next Beast appeared was that very thing happening. The wheel grew scalding, and the wedge next to Nezumi’s clear blue glowed as the cursed energy of the Second Beast burst forth. You barely had time to swear before a white rabbit appeared, the smell of something smoky manifesting alongside it, like incense burning in a temple.

Much like Nezumi, this rabbit had the wheel symbol on its forehead, and its eyes were the same uniform, monochromatic blue. Unlike Nezumi, however, the rabbit was serene, not nervous, sitting back on its haunches and merely staring up at you. Vaguely, you thought that it might be a rather sweet-looking creature if it were not so large and you did not know its intentions.

“I am Usagi,” the rabbit said, and like Nezumi, its voice did not sound like one clear tone but rather a combination of several entities speaking together. “The second of the Beasts you will meet. Of course, you have already defeated Nezumi, or else I would not be here, so I assume I need no further introduction. By the way, it’s nothing to be proud of; every one of my siblings knows what a weakling that sorry excuse of a Beast is. Don’t think that it will be so simple to face the rest of us.”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be,” you said, swallowing at the thought of killing Usagi, when you’d much rather stroke its ears that were certainly so soft. There had been a grotesque desperation to Nezumi, but Usagi had none of that, none of the chittering or the moaning, making it seem unassuming and adorable. Other than the occasional twitch of its nose, it was perfectly still, not even flinching when you drew your sword.

“You’re the girl blessed by the hummingbird, yes?” Usagi said.

“Yes,” I said. The rabbit let out a sigh which shook its entire, strangely proportioned, body. The creature was even bigger than Nezumi had been — while the rat had only reached your knees, Usagi was probably closer to your hips, not counting the lopped ears which had perked up in anticipation of the coming fight.

“Then maybe the younger of us will not post much difficulty to you,” Usagi allowed. “My six older siblings, though…mark my words, little bird, you will not be able to destroy them. Forget about my father — even surviving the eldest’s wrath will be impossible once the rest of us are dead.”

“Will you fight me? Or will you die as Nezumi did?” you said.

“Of course, I will try,” Usagi said, though there was resignation in its tone. “Though I have no grand illusions about winning. All I ask is that you do not tarry when the time comes to dispatch of me. I know that we are enemies, so asking for mercy is a tall order, but if by some miracle the roles are reversed, I promise I will show it to you as well.”

“I do not delight in death,” you said. It was such a strange contrast to your conversation with Nezumi — did all the Beasts have such distinct personalities? What were the others like? Skittish Nezumi and forlorn Usagi and the mysterious other ten, all of whom you would eventually be acquainted with. “I shall take no pleasure in your pain.”

“Thank you,” the rabbit said, and then, with a kick of its hindquarters, it disappeared into the trees, nothing more than a white blur streaking through the forest. You gave Kashimo an exasperated look.

“I’ll be going after it, then,” you said with a sigh. He shrugged.

“Okay,” he said, obviously uninterested. “Have fun.”

“Fun is not the word I’d use for it,” you groused, the thought of having to chase after Usagi hardly an appealing one, especially when it meant you’d have to use your cursed technique to keep up with it. But, then again, ‘fun’ was exactly the word Kashimo would use for it, so his parting words made at least a little sense.

“Sorry to hear that,” he said. You rolled your eyes and resolved to ignore him.

“There is a story,” you said aloud, to no one in particular — at least, no one who was there with you physically, “And in that story, they call the hummingbird the fastest of the birds. Give me that speed. Allow me to outpace Usagi, the Second Beast of Ten.”

You have been given the Speed of the Hummingbird!

You have been given the G-Force Resistance of the Hummingbird!

You have been given the Maneuverability of the Hummingbird!

It had been the first story you had read, and therefore the first aspect of your cursed technique which you had unlocked. Though basic, it was so fundamental to your prowess as a sorcerer that you could count it amongst your most-used applications — the blinding Speed of the Hummingbird, which could allow you to run across the world in little less than an hour, provided you could keep it active for that long. The Maneuverability of the Hummingbird went along with it, lending you flexibility and the ability to turn on a dime, no matter how fast you were going, ensuring you did not crash into the first solid object that came in your path.

You tore off after Usagi with the blessings of your technique powering your legs, your muscles, your very body. There was that sound like thunder which always accompanied your acceleration, and then the trees bled together as you ran, ran and ran and ran and ran in search of your opponent.

It was only one rabbit in an entire forest, so by all accounts it would be difficult to find, but it remained that Usagi had promised it would try to fight you as well, so it was not like you were chasing after something which did not want to be caught. The question, then, was where wasUsagi? You could not see it, which meant —

Skidding to a stop, you barely managed to dodge out of the way of a powerful kick. Usagi crashed to the ground, its momentum carrying it forwards well beyond you, its missed target,. However, it scrabbled to its feet quickly, moss flying up where its sharp nails raked the ground. You squeezed your eyes shut to avoid being blinded by the flying greenery.

It was almost a fatal mistake — would’ve been a fatal mistake, if you did not have senses naturally enhanced well beyond any ordinary person’s. This was not a consequence of the Hummingbird’s Blessing; it was pure cursed energy, honed and refined throughout the years until it was as potent as any lower-leveled cursed technique might be.

You whipped around, unsheathing your sword and using the flat of the blade to knock Usagi away, right before its legs connected with your shoulder. Such a blow would’ve no doubt destroyed your bones, and you scowled slightly at the rabbit, which was unaffected despite the two times you had sent it flying.

“So,” you said, your mind and body still thrumming at hummingbird-speed. “It’s your legs I have to worry about?”

It was a hypothesis you were forming. As Nezumi’s strength was its teeth — or, at least, it would’ve been, if you had given the rat the time to actually defend itself — Usagi’s was its legs. The reason why the rabbit was so fast, why it only tried to kick you despite other methods of attacking, was because that was where its power lay. Whether it was a bona fide cursed technique or simply the way its energy was distributed, you were not sure, but it did not really matter. If you could take out the legs, you would have destroyed the Beast entirely.

Usagi did not let up, charging at you again before jumping into the air, impossibly high, reaching its front paws out towards you and coiling its powerful back legs up in preparation for a devastating blow to your head. Although Usagi had the advantage of a small, dynamic size, you were the faster of the two and therefore were able to dance out of the way as a plan took shape in your mind.

As Usagi regained its footing, you sprinted away, lengthening the distance between the two of you until you reached a small clearing in the trees. You could hear the small, soft pants of the rabbit’s pursuit, the footsteps thudding against the leaf-carpeted floor, and you smiled, wondering if it realized what you were doing to it yet.

You were definitely speedier and more maneuverable than Usagi, but its relatively smaller size allowed for it to twist to and fro, possibly dodging your sword strikes and finding openings you would not willingly create otherwise. This was only the Second Beast, so the challenge was not that great, but you still could not afford to be reckless the way you had been with Nezumi, hence the development of your idea.

Once again, Usagi leapt up to attack, but this time, you were both prepared and in an ideal situation for it. The threat of tree branches was gone now, the open sky of the clearing leaving you with enough space to move the way you wanted to.

Instead of dodging, you rocked back onto your heels before taking a stride forward and then using the next footfall to propel yourself into the air. Your legs were tenfold as strong as even Usagi’s, especially with the Hummingbird’s Blessing active, and as you raised your sword, your shadow falling over Usagi’s airborne body, you found yourself looking down at the terrified face of a creature that knew it was about to die.

Before you could hit the ground and it could think to dodge, you twisted so that you could bring down the sword, cleaving its legs neatly off. It did not immediately dissipate, the way Nezumi had; instead, the pieces of its body thudded against the earth, a few paces apart from each other. Still midair, you did a flip so that you could land on your feet next to Usagi’s body, which was now immobile and incapable of hurting you.

“Did that not kill you?” you said. The rabbit’s breaths were quick and shallow; it knew, then, what you meant to do. Something like pity swelled in the back of your throat, and though you tried to swallow it back, it refused to abate. You crouched next to Usagi and began to stroke its ears, rubbing in between its eyes gently — though you made sure to avoid the wheel which marked it as one of the Twelve Beasts of Ten.

Water pooled in the corners of Usagi’s eyes like raindrops, threatening to fall at any moment. The twitching of its nose was frantic now, perhaps with pain, perhaps with fear, perhaps with something else entirely.

“Please kill me now,” it said. “You promised you would not draw out my pain.”

It was foolish for you to treat a creature that had tried to kill you so gently, but you could not bring yourself to hate the Twelve Beasts, any of them. They were under Ten’s control, as surely as you were, and though it would not stop you from killing them, you found no reason to be cruel. In fact, where it was possible, you realized you wanted to be like this with them. To care for them. You wondered how long it had been since anyone had done such a thing. After all, you doubted Ten did.

“Usagi,” you murmured, leaning down and pressing your lips atop its head. As you had imagined, the fur was luxuriously soft, plush like a blanket or pillow. “You may rest now. I promise that this is the last time you will ever have to fight. Go, find Nezumi in whatever world awaits you both, and tell that rat that…that I am sorry I had to kill it.”

“Thank you,” it said, voice a tremulous whisper as you drove your sword into its heart. “You are a very kind little bird.”

Melting into a puddle of cursed energy, Usagi returned to the wheel, though now its wedge, like Nezumi’s, was clear blue, representing its defeat. If fighting Nezumi had left you confused, then fighting Usagi had made you truly conflicted in a different sense, leading you to pitying the Beasts that you had to destroy if you wanted to accomplish your goal. Perhaps this was by design, but for some reason…you felt like it wasn’t.

Since you had already activated your blessings, it took no time at all for you to reach the road where Kashimo and the horses were waiting. All told, the entire battle had not taken very long, probably no more than five or ten minutes, and everything was exactly as you had left it.

“Good, you’re back,” Kashimo said. “I see no rabbit on your tail, so am I to believe that you were victorious against that Second Beast?”

“Of course I was,” you said. “It was only the second out of twelve. If I struggled against it, then I’d think to myself that I had no business challenging Ten.”

“Well, two down, ten to go,” he said. You hummed in agreement, sitting in the grass though you knew he expected you to return to your horse’s back. With a yawn, you leaned against the trunk of an ancient tree, knowing what would come next and hoping it did not last too long.

You will now enter the Torpor of the Hummingbird.

The world faded into nothingness, and you were once again floating in the delicious black that was the side effect of your cursed technique. The Torpor of the Hummingbird: it was, you presumed, how your body regained the strength it expended in harnessing a deity’s power. Like a deep sleep but instantaneous and lasting anywhere from a few seconds to a few days, your torpor was the one thing that held you back from your full potential. All told, though, you did not mind it too much — it was nice to wake up from torpor feeling completely rejuvenated in a way that nothing else could make you feel, and anyways power as all-encompassing as yours should not come without drawbacks.

When you exited the torpor, it was to someone shaking your shoulders. Your eyes were bleary when you opened them, and you had to blink a few times before you realized that it was Kashimo, an unfamiliar expression reflected in his irises.

“Y/N?” he said. “Are you okay?”

“I believe so,” you said, still trying to puzzle out what that expression he wore signified, exactly. “Why?”

“I thought you — I thought you must’ve died,” he said. “One second, you were standing there, and the next you were unconscious and your heart was barely beating. For five whole minutes, your heart was barely beating. I tried to make it start again, but I could not. I thought you must’ve died…”

Fear. That was what was impacting Kashimo at the current moment. He was afraid, afraid that you had died and he had not been allowed the pleasure of even seeing it happen, afraid that when you had slipped into the torpor, it had been a permanent arrangement and not something temporary.

“It’s the drawback of my technique,” you explained, well-aware of his hands, still digging into your shoulders. “After using the Hummingbird’s Blessing, I have to recover in something called torpor. I wake up once my cursed energy reserves and body have returned to functional levels. It’s why I tend to avoid calling on my technique — if I end up in the torpor before my fight is over, I could end up in a bad way.”

“So you’re alright,” he checked.

“Yes,” you said.

“Good,” he said, and then he was clearing his throat, brushing himself off as if he had never been worried in the first place. “Let’s get going, then.”

“Hey, you didn’t answer my question from earlier, by the way,” you said. “Do you know how to reach the girl or not?”

“Obviously not,” Kashimo said with a scoff. “Or else I’d have dragged her over to Daisuke by now, whether the two of them liked it or not. But I do have a suspicion, based on some of our past conversations, as to where she could be right now.”

“And where might that be?” you said, feeling a little uncomfortable beside him in the harsh light of day. What had been so natural last night was now blasphemous, now a grievance of the highest order against Hisashi, the man who had only ever cared for you.

“The sea,” he said. “She always said she wanted to live by the ocean one day. I don’t really know what the appeal is, but I guess some people are into that whole thing. If I had to pick one spot where I thought she might be, it’d be somewhere on the shore. I’m certain she spends her days with her feet in the sand and her head in the clouds, far too happy to ever even think about Daisuke and I.”

“That’s not necessarily the case,” you said, though of course you had no reason to be for or against Kashimo’s thoughts. He was the one who knew the girl, after all; still, you felt honor-bound to speak up for her in face of Kashimo’s caustic language. “Going to the sea is a good idea, though. It’s a place to start, at any rate, and even if she isn’t there, it’ll be a nice break. But you see why I need one of Daisuke’s swords now, don’t you? Usagi was one of the weakest of the Beasts, and even then it was far superior to any ordinary curse, as can be expected of a being meant to be a facet of the lord of the sky.”

“Yes, yes, I understand,” Kashimo said. You bit your lower lip, peering at him from beneath your lashes as if to disguise your gaze. He did not turn around, which gave you the chance to observe him and recall the events of last night with a shiver.

After your conversation had petered out, you had briefly considered leaving his embrace, but when you shifted even slightly, he only tightened his grip, refusing to let go of you, holding you securely beside him, though your only points of contact were his hand on your waist and yours on his arm.

It was an excuse on your part. If you had really wanted to escape, no one could’ve stopped you, not Kashimo or any other person, and anyways Kashimo was not one who would really trap you in place against your will. But that slight bit of resistance was enough for you to justify it in your mind, to blame him for it instead of yourself for not being strong enough to break away, for not being strong enough to remain loyal to Hisashi.

What would Hisashi say? The stitch-scarred man’s words rang in your mind, that you were throwing away his and your father’s work by doing what you were doing right now, with Kashimo. Was it wrong? No, that was not a question. Of course it was wrong. It was wrong that you dreamt such strange dreams about him. It was wrong that you found him so beautiful. It was wrong that his presence sent thrills down your spine and across your skin — thrills completely separate from his status as the god of lightning and his electric-like cursed energy.

None of it mattered, of course. Kashimo did not love anyone. He did not even know what love was. He existed only to fight others; that was his reason, his purpose. Whatever you felt for him, regardless of whether it was wrong or right, was irrelevant. It was nothing more than a desperate woman clinging on to the first person who paid attention to her in such a devoted manner, who seemingly cared for her — even if this care was nothing more than a desire to see her dead.

You had to remember that. Kashimo said so many things that sounded so sweet, but he didn’t mean them in the way you wished that he would. He didn’t want you to die because he wanted to be the one to kill you, not because he wanted to see you live. He was helping you get a sword from Daisuke so that your eventual battle with him was as exciting as possible. He was afraid you were hurt by Usagi because Usagi was not him.

Hisashi was right. Why did you trust such a creature? Why was the man who wanted to kill you your greatest ally? You wished you could ask him these things, but without the cover of night, it was impossible. It was not something you could do when the sun hung so high, brilliant against the cloudless blue.

“Say, Y/N,” Kashimo said as the two of you continued to meander along the trails leading towards the sea. “What would you have done, if you were in the girl’s place?”

“What do you mean?” you said.

“If you were her,” he said. “If you lived in an orphanage like we did, with a cruel mistress like ours. Would you have run away, too?”

“I don’t think so,” you said after mulling it over for a moment. Vindication flashed over Kashimo’s face, as if you had confirmed something for him that he had been wanting to hear for many years now.

“Why not?” he said.

“You said that the girl was like a genuine mother to the younger children. If I cared for anyone to that extent, I’d certainly never leave them behind. Are you sure she gave no indications that she was going?” you said. The more you thought about the girl’s story, the more bizarre it became. Why would she run away without even telling Daisuke and Kashimo, who were by all accounts her closest friends? Why would she not ensure the safety of the children that she loved so much? Why had she never tried to find Daisuke and Kashimo again, even after so many years had passed?

“None,” Kashimo said. “She was there one day, had dinner with all of us like nothing was wrong, and the next morning, she had vanished. It happens like that sometimes. People just snap and can’t take it anymore. They have to get out, leave their old lives entirely behind and start fresh.”

“And it’s true that the more people she told, the more likely she would’ve been caught — though with Daisuke’s technique, I don’t know if that completely applies,” you said reluctantly. As per usual, Kashimo’s answer was the logical one, the one that was the most reasonable. But then again, hadn’t he given exactly such an explanation for Ten? For the man with the stitches on his forehead? Yet both of these beings were entirely real, and mysterious in their reality. So was it really out of the realm of possibility that there was something else at work regarding this strange girl’s fate?

“Exactly,” Kashimo said. “She spent an entire childhood being selfless. Really, we shouldn’t blame her for choosing to be selfish just that one time, and I don’t even think Daisuke does, but in truth, I do.”

“Is that so?” you said. “Why would you be upset with her?”

“She and Daisuke were the only people in the world I felt more than indifference to — excepting, of course, you, but you are the special case in that I have never felt so strongly for anyone as I do you — and when she left, I lost them both,” he said.

You ignored how squirmy his interjection made you feel and focused on the rest of it. “Lost them both?”

“I told you, didn’t I? Daisuke stopped talking in general once she left. They say he’s the sword-smith of the shadows, but what people don’t know is that he wasn’t always so drawn to the darkness. Actually, he used to rarely if ever use his technique, but now…now it’s a lucky thing to see him at all. Part of it is because he’s supposed to be dead at my hand, but even before that —” Kashimo broke off and swallowed. “Even before that, he had donned that cloak and faded away from the world. Not physically, perhaps, but he still left me all the same, Y/N. Just like she did. Just like Kamin Gojo did.”

“Kamin Gojo,” you repeated. It was so ironic, that the same man had had such equal but opposite effects on your lives. On the one hand, he had shunned Kashimo, sent him to an orphanage and made him into the monster he was today. On the other, he had embraced you, engaged you to his precious son and secured your future as the lady of the Gojo household. What made you different from Kashimo? Was it your womb? But Hisashi had female cousins who could’ve been wed to Kashimo. Certainly, he would’ve strengthened the clan as well as you eventually would.

There was no reason to it, you realized. There didn’t have to be. At the end of the day, it had happened. Kashimo was who he was and you were who you were and Hisashi was who he was. What a strange turn of events, that all of you had had such heavy expectations placed on you by Kamin Gojo, when in truth none of you were best suited to the roles he had assigned you.

“Kamin Gojo,” Kashimo said again, bitterly. “He’s dead now, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he died a few years back,” you said. “It was a grand funeral.”

“I was there,” Kashimo said.

“At the funeral? I don’t remember your presence,” you said, actually surprised by this. The thought of Kashimo sitting alongside the extended Gojo clan, as well as the rest of the Big Three Sorcerer Families, was entirely off-putting. He would be so out of place it was actually almost laughable to think about.

“After,” he said. “I visited his gravestone that night.”

Of course — this made more sense. That night, Hisashi had locked himself in his room and refused to even see you, ignoring your pleas to be let in, to offer what reassurance you could. He had needed it; you knew Hisashi well enough to know that if he had let you hold him in your arms, he would’ve been soothed, but he was in that frayed emotional state where even the thought of comfort was painful.

It was at that time that Kashimo had visited the grave, then. The timeline made sense, then, but the reasoning did not. What cause did he have to visit Kamin Gojo’s headstone? You asked as much, causing him to laugh.

“He was the man who saved my life and cursed it, all at once. So I wanted to go and see what it made me feel to know that he was dead. I wanted to know which was more important to me, salvation or damnation. Hajime or Jigoku,” he said.

“And?” you prompted.

“I sat there for a while,” he said. “I thought about it. I came to this conclusion: I was grateful to him, for saving me but also for saving you. He gave me a second chance at life by taking me from that house of dying and sending me away, and he gave me a second purpose by raising the strongest sorcerer of the age in his own home. Can I tell you something that might frighten you?”

“Very little frightens me,” you said, your tongue darting out to moisten your lips, which had gone dry over the course of the conversation. “You may speak your mind.”

“If I had not seen you on that day, then I would’ve died by now,” he said, matter-of-factly. “After the girl and Daisuke left, if I had not been so single-mindedly focused on killing you, I definitely would’ve given up. I cannot describe why it is the case, Y/N, but my greatest secret is as such: it is only with thoughts of your death that I may fathom ones of my life.”

#kashimo x reader #kashimo x y/n #kashimo x you #reader insert #canon au #hurricanes / hummingbirds #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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what-if-nct · 9 months

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hi hi hi today's reminder is a list of nct members i expect/want to see releasing solo albums (excluding taeyong bc he already has one out, dojaejung bc I have a strong feeling sm wants to push the unit as opposed to the solos, and markhyuck bc i will pay big money for them to take a nap):

1. ten: call me delusional but it is definitely happening by the end of 2024. he can sing, he can rap, he can dance, he speaks 618292 languages, he has the visuals, he has the brand recognition plus he's heavily associated with taem (hit the stage and superm) and i just Know they're gonna push him as the next taemin

2. taeil: at least a mini album before he has to enl*st or i will fucking riot

3. yuta: much like ten - can rap, can sing, can dance, beautiful specimen of a human man, super funny, plus he is one of the most popular members worldwide. it would make Big numbers, but it seems unlikely because he'd eat up nct japan. I'd still love to see it tho, i adore his voice

4. winwin: i just know even in a full solo album he'll end up with a collective 2 minutes of lines and I'm very curious how that would work

5. chenle: my baby. dream has a solid vocal line, so i wouldn't call it a hard carry , but he definitely is the backbone (watch their killing voice, he is the soul of their live singing) of their vocals. the harmonies, the ad libs, and he absolutely kills his own parts, and he's super versatile. this is one of the more unlikely ones on this list but I'd be very interested in listening to that

7. renjun: brilliant singer, i love his voice, he has such a pretty tone that deserves to shine more. also it would top the charts because each and every nct member would buy five of each version just to collect all the photocards. they could ask sm but they wanna do it right. want a fansign call? good luck, you're going up against 20 grown men who would kill for him no questions asked

8. xiaojun: he has never not been the star of a song he's on. take off, moonwalk, make a wish. he's the resonance era golden boy, just a well of potential. the boy is a Star

9. yangyang: universe era golden boy. he's quickly reached Mark/taeyong/Doyoung levels of fitting every single song, and has the unique advantage of sm knowing this and actually putting him on songs. again - sings, dances, raps, models, very funny boy. he has the Range

10. Kun: who's surprised here? honestly his voice is so severely underutilised, it hurts my heart, he has the absolute prettiest singing voice. give him the reins like taeyong and he'll produce an absolute masterpiece

bonus duos bc i thought of some while i was writing those:

1. any/all pairs out of xiaojun, renjun and yangyang: renyang bc besties and their voices would compliment each other, junjun because their unbreakable love cover is the third most watched youtube video in my history, xiaoyang bc again would compliment each other super well and it'd be a fun mixup in the wayv Duos

2. renjun and winwin: i just need to see the rest of them spontaneously combust

3. taeil and chenle: your honour in my heart they are Besties

4. Kun and Chenle: obviously

5. Johnny and Hendery: they would vibe. i know they barely know each other right now but i just believe they would Vibe. also you specifically would love it, and the world should revolve around your wants and needs

Hiiii! Ten definitely has a solo album around the corner. Like he's definitely been preparing for it like if not by year's end for sure in the beginning of next year. Like its just inevitable. I'd even just accept an ep from Taeil. Something cause once Sehun enlists it's only a matter of time for Taeil. Plus Taeil is injured so just one solo song will do. Till he returns.

I hope yuta does a rock album, like its just so him and needs to happen. If Yuta brings back screaming from kpops distant short visual kei past. Like a full rock album from Yuta would be everything. I also have songs I'd like for him to cover. Hatefuck - Motionless in white, Closer - Nine inch nails, Sinematic - Motionless in white, throne - bring me the horizon, I have a playlist I'll just send it to him.

Sweet baby Renjun, definitely needs a solo album soon, his voice is so pretty and needs to be highlighted. Chenle too!! Oooh and a Renjun and Chenle duet would be wonderful. Xiaojun, just put him in the studio and let him go it's what the world needs. I would love to see a Yangyang solo, I loved lowlow so much I need more Yangyang. I would like for him to also cover peach by yixing, it would just fit him. It's what Yixing would want. Of course Kun needs to have an album, it would be a beautiful album of ballads with just one unhinged song that no one expected.

Speaking of Yixing, I need Winwin to really go for it. I want multiple solo albums from Winwin and for his career to really prosper in China, make sm beg him to comeback but he's just too famous and busy. I used to be worried but I need Winwin to get only the best and succeed. But I really feel like SM is purposely holding him back cause they know the power he'd have.

Speaking of hear me out Renjun, Yangyang and Winwin, there's some untapped power there and I kinda need that. We have more than enough proof how good Kun, Taeil and Chenle are together, it's just destined. Yessss Hendery and Johnny would be best friends if they aren't already. And you are too kind but if I had one wish granted by sm it would be Hendery and Johnny duet that's it. Also Johnny, Jungwoo, Jaemin and Hendery there's something here. Not just cause they're all my biases. They're all the same level of weird and a little out of their minds. I don't even want a song. Just put them in a room alone with a camera I want to see what happens.

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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probably a weird question but any height hcs for the mekakushi dan?

not weird at ALL. not only does the mekakushi dan have CANON heights but i have my thoughts about them

from shortest to tallest, these are their CANON heights:

hiyori 138 cm (4'5'')

hibiya 140 cm (4'6")

mary 154cm (5'0")

ayano 155 cm (5'1")

takane 157 cm (5'1") as ene, 640 pixels

momo 162 cm (5'3")

kano 165cm (5'4")

kido 168 cm (5'6")

shintaro 172 cm (5'8")

seto 178 cm (5'10")

haruka 182 cm (6'0")

i dont think these heights are bad but i think they're a little silly, especially hibiya and hiyori. girl they're 12. they wouldn't be THAT tiny!!! ive been the same height since i was 12 tbh, ive been 154cm (5'0'') for ten years 😐😐😐 anyways. yeah. they wouldn't be that short, in my sick twisted mind hibiya and hiyori are around the height of mary ayano & takane.

which brings me to. ayano and takane's heights are a little weird, especially takane. they're mostly drawn with a big height difference with ayano being the tallest when they're actually listed with takane being 3 cm taller so they're rly the same height lol. i usually draw ayano as taller for the lols bc i love shortest of the quartet takane, so id probably either make ayano a little taller (maybe 160cm, which would put her as shorter than momo, or maybe just as tall as momo to have a more clear height difference with takane) or takane a little shorter, but i think her height is fine as is. im a little attached to the 157cm bc of how big of a revelation it was JEJDKEKD and idk mary is always described as super short when there's literally 2 other grown characters just as tall as her lol. take ur "kiddy" mary and shove it up ur ass jin ur weird 💗 mary is my height i get her the view is FINE from here.

the thing with takane is that he's got the whole Secret Identity thing like as is takane is KINDA a spoiler character? and enes whole thing is that no one knows where they came from so for a long time we only knew how big ene was in pixels ajdkwjdk and unlike everyone else she does NOT have the funny fun facts like a canon birthday or height or weight. we only know the height bc in a takane sketch from sidu they wrote next to it the 157cm and the fandom took it and ran with it. at least that's how i remember it, i was so damn excited. idk if it has ever been super confirmed (tho its been listed in the wiki for years), so i can see why its so inconsistent to ayano(and mary, who is also close to their height but we see takane with ayano more often) and his weight is listed as 2MB. thats soooo funny. mysterious weight takane sometimes it can be so #girl but also im kinda glad bc the weights are so fucking BULLSHIT.

anime when making a girl heavier than 45kg: 😱 girl are u fucking crazy. ayano and momo have the same weight? mary is listed as 130 apples heavy? its such a mess. the weights are SHIT and NOT REAL. anyways u didnt ask abt that but yeah their weights 👎👎👎👎👎 not real.

anyways. id make these characters around the same height (in the range of 154cm to 159 cm) from shorter to tallest: hiyori, hibiya, mary, takane, ayano. maybe even ayano as tall as momo. and hibiya and hiyori would probably grow taller than those 3 as they grow up lol. i think hiyori would end up in a height like momo's and hibiya would be just slightly taller than shintaro which would probably anger shintaro a lot. tho short king hibiya is also funny tbh

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE TALLEST'S HEIGHTS. ok. seto and haruka. sits DOWN. i think haruka should be taller and seto should be what haruka is listed as. cuz like haruka is always described as like super weirdly tall and he's like omg i hate being so tall when 182cm is like. sure its really tall but i wouldn't call that a weird height??? thats like. idk to me its kinda average tall height. and AGAIN im 154cm so id know a tall person lol my little brother is 180cm (😐) and while he is tall i wouldn't say he's crazy tall!!!and seto just being below 180cm is soooooo wrong SO, to me seto has haruka's height which is 182cm and haruka is probably more around 188cm, maybe getting to 190cm just for shit and giggles. like now THATS what id call weirdly tall. maybe haruka is just called that all the time bc he hangs out with ayano takane and shintaro (shortest adult mekadan members & shintaros painfully below average for a guy height). but whatevers i do love haruka is the tallest character though lol

and the rest are ok. kido being almost as tall as shintaro is awesome. kano being short is also awesome. if im changing shit id make him as short as momo just for shit and giggles which if we go by all my other changes then he'd be as tall as ayano LOLLLL

ANYWAYS. im normal💗

#ask tag #headcanons #kagexplain #ayano takane and shintaro: woooow OMGGGG heheheheh haruka IS SOOOOO tall💞🥰😳 hes so dreamy. give it up for the specialest boy ever #haruka with his slightly above average height: 🙂

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

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got any fluffy/smutty thoughts about that man to share with us?

about hanma?? i don't know ive never really given it any thought.

i will say though i do genuinely think he'd be a pretty good boyfriend which i dont think is very popular fanon of him lmaoooo i know he gets the cheater and deadbeat label a bit

but i do think the tokyorev fanon tends to be extra bad in the characterization department. hanma is a very misunderstood character in that while he certainly has a skewed moral compass, he's very cognizant in making those choices. similarly to how sanzu is much more rational than how he acts.

hanma is just less belligerent about the whole thing but he's very aware of himself.

i think in a relationship you're biggest issue is that he'll brush you off when you make complaints or try to like. fuck away your arguements which doesn't normally work but is pretty typical for a guy like him. he'd probably be a little hard to tie down? doesn't seem like the marriage type but more like a long-term relationship type if that makes any sense. if he ever gets out of organized crime he'd probably marry you, i just think he'd need to finish whatever he's set out to achieve.

also like. he's a very human character he just sort of swallows it so no one can pin down his achilles heel and like kill him or whatever. i think unlike sanzu hanma doesn't seem himself as bulletproof and perceives life to be very finnicky, so he tends to be much more careful about what moves he makes.

but at least canonically, hanma is a relatively complex character so i think he's definitely attracted to people who can match his wit and keep up with him. he's not got the temperament for love so you'd definitely experience a lot of turmoil early but he's capable of being serious. it's a timing thing for him? like he needs to make sure everything else works out. if you're loyal to him, he's loyal to you but it requires a lot of faith on both ends.

also like. i do think for hanma you have to sort of bring him out of his state of mind because he moves like he died about ten years ago.

he's probably a quality time person and fucking hilarious. very witty? social able when he's around like... your parents or something. in an ironic twist very good with kids i think. honestly kinda harmless to everyone else like LMAOO. seems like he eats a lot of junk food. he tries really hard to smoke less because you keep complaining about him dying early.

despite his issues, mostly i think hanma would show up for you in whatever way he could. it's kind of his way of dignifying you and showing respect. graduations, a tire gone flat, a pad run. to the world he's sort of this slippery snake in the grass but he will show up for you every time, no matter how much he complains about it at first. kinda loves you like he's sorry he's there which makes me a little sad.

nsfw nothing yet. stroke game is probably crazy tho

#return to sender #this is so long LMAOOO what rhe hell #a.hanma #i actually have a lot of opinions on tokyorev the fandom turns me away a bit #but i love that manga lol #i need to catch up

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twinvictim · 1 year

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hello!! i want to hear EVERYTHING about this!! aus with Nishiki usually go for a "happier" route, so making his situation worse is... an interesting take to say the least lmao. i need to know: is yuko still alive in all this or does she die and Nishiki just. doesn't hear about it until he gets out of jail??

Oh you have activated my Bullshit TM hehe. Don't get me wrong I love making things better for him, and even this au eventually would do that but not before it gets Way worse, sort or just expanding on all the implications of Nishiki serving those ten years. Truthfully it's like the worst option of the three outcomes of the situation. Forgive me if this is incoherent it's like 3 am right after work and also forgive me for shelling my various theories like "nishiki makes so much more sense if he has feelings for Kiryu" and "trans masc swag" readmore bc I can't shut up

To answer the first question, as much as I really want Yuko to be there as a character bc i feel like she could add some interesting dynamics and really a potential voice of reason based on me making shit up about her, I feel for this au it makes more sense that she still passes away. Possibly earlier this time as Nishiki obviously isn't around to try and save her as fervently. But I still feel like she would have an impact in a way, at least with how Nishiki sees the world and the people around him. Also for reasons I can't explain I feel like she was the only one of the 4 of them that just. Didn't really like Kazama, and Nishiki was the only one she would say this too, added doubt and such, added guilt for fighting with her about it bc he was so certain that Kazama did love him. (And also...does he though? Hmm)

Also a point I'll make, nobody even once tries to contact Nishiki while he's in jail except to expel him from the clan, and unlike Kiryu he doesn't even get the "Oh yumi is missing but we're looking for her!" Thing from Shinji. He just kinda, stops existing to everyone.

Also unlike Kiryu, he isn't some weirdo who just stares at the wall for ten years, I think despite it generally being very difficult and horrible he has a way of making some allies here and there, at least having friendly acquaintances kinda like Saejima in y5, he's personable and while it's not like he isn't really lonely it's definitely better than nothing. Also think he's generally smart enough to not let people know he killed Dojima bc it's rough enough already. Playing into the fact that everyone thinks he's a huge pussy (insert 10 years in the joint line here)

The first thing he does after getting out of jail natrually is trying to track down everyone important to him, it's not hard to find Reina and she is one of the few people that hasn't changed In some way, she's definitely sadder for sure, but she's still here and still cares about him. In the time away she hasn't seen Yumi at all, but the handful of times Kiryu has shown up he says she's okay. She doesn't really know much more than that but considering Nishiki is homeless and out of a job she does just kinda force him to sleep there so she can attempt to help him, Serena Hideout as usual.

Thing is Yumi isn't missing, not really, supposedly she runs a bar just outside Kamurocho, but Reina's been entirely unable to find it, Kiryu's been exactly no help, it seems like they don't talk much if at all anymore and that Yumi mostly just wants to be left alone. (Bc Kazama doesn't feel like he should hide her from Kiryu like he did with Nishiki, since she didn't accociate Kiryu with all the trauma, and thus isnt scared of him, she's just sort of left to her own devices. I like the haircut and tattoo tho so I always keep it with her) I think Yumi is just weary, she can't forgive the clan as a whole for what it did to both her, and two people she cared about, and there's alot of complicated feelings about being raised into it with no choice in the matter. Feelings I think she's always had but tried not to think about, and now she has to contend with them in some way, or she should but doesn't. Bc she's still deathly afraid, unable to fully come to terms with her parents as well as the second shooting and it was better for her health for a long time to simply pretend Nishiki didn't exist. Kind of a default now bc the last thing she remembers of him is so traumatic its sort of inadvertently triggering to think about even the good things. The only thing she is sure of is she wants none of that for her daughter and if that means she has to miss the people she cares about than that's what it means.

Everyone still speaks highly of Kiryu of course, and natrually he does have his own family. He doesn't decend into any kind of violent spiral because genuinely people look up to and respect him, Kazama wasn't stacking the deck against him either bc why would he do that to his favorite child. really the problem is everything is kind of too easy and he doesn't see a point in it. Surrounded by yes men and people who see him as something he doesn't really want to be, and it's like he doesn't have to try. Mostly I think he's depressed bc he saw what being to close to the yakuza does to innocent people so he's cut himself off from his friends outside the circle, and everyone inside the circle is the same as theyve always been, and he just doesn't see a point in it all but keeps doing it because thats what he promised he'd do. Maybe he resents Nishiki a little bit for encouraging their shared dream, maybe he just hates that everyone forgot about him, and it just feels like something is always missing. He still can't seem to handle seeing Nishiki again though, possibly ashamed or scared. Maybe he doesn't feel like he earned the right to invite him into something that wasn't built with any kind of effort. And in the end he still failed to cross that line with him and maybe he's never forgiven himself for that.

But it's not like Nishiki or really anybody knows all that. So doesn't it just seem like yet another person abounded him. And this time it's the most important one.

Kashiwagi is interesting and stuck in a tight spot himself bc of the two pseudo parental figures they have he's the one that does genuinely equally care about them. But being that he is Kazama's right hand man, if Kazama doesn't want him to have anything to do with Nishiki than there isn't much he can do. It's not like Nishiki doesn't know or understand that, and it's not like Kashiwagi doesn't try, but he can really only do so much and it still isn't a good roll of the dice for Nishikis health either.

Haruka in this is kind of fun to speculate on. Natrually being that the (kinda dumb ngl) plot point about her father being Jingu cannot really happen or rather I don't think it adds anything, that only leaves us with Dojima being her biological father, and the only real change I'd that she's a couple months older honestly, so go with that. So being that Yumi is a working, single parent who's also horribly depressed and lonely as she no longer has a support system of friends, Haruka does end up in that Weirdly Mature for her age situation where she can to some degree take care of herself and spends time wandering town bc she's bad at making friends her own age. She's met Kiryu once or twice by 2005 but doesn't remember him much, (same goes for Kashiwagi who has tried but was met with Yumi telling him to let them be for their safety, which he understood even if he wouldve liked to know Haruka better). And due to the aforementioned Trauma Shit she's just never heard of Nishiki and doesn't know who the hell he is when she happens across him. Nishiki obviously doesn't know who she is either, just that she reminds him of someone, and while he's not really thrilled about some random fucking kid following him around bc she's bored it's not like he has many options as far as friends and she's kinda funny anyway, though it doesn't look great for a convicted murderer to just kinda hang out with somr kid thats not his but Date doesn't like him at fucking all anyway and the feeling is mutual so he and Haruka just duck around the detective when he's trying to bug Nishiki. He probably just has some amount of fun with her and she won't leave him alone anyway, and he gets the sense she's kinda lonely too.

And bc I'm crazy, Majima :). I think their dynamic could be fun, mostly I think that when they don't have a mediator or they're both doing Very Bad mental health wise it's some kind of vauge self recognition through the other turned what if we did alot of coke, turned what if we just fuck and hit eachother with chairs. Majima everywhere 2! But not bc he wants to test his resolve or something but bc he finds that irritating Nishiki is really goddamn funny, and I think a part of him is really curious about why he did what he did, bc while people had speculations neither Nishiki nor Kiryu ever confirmed what exactly happened for Yumis sake. I think Majima also just finds him interesting in the 'nothing means anything" kinda way. At some point after being abandoned, snubbed, spit on, beat up, and even sort of erased out of both families he had, Nishiki reaches a similar 'I don't fucking care' scenario and Majima is an enabler, fully willing and able to help him indulge in life being pointless and nobody needing or wanting you around. But Nishiki also despretly wants to connect with someone in a genuine way and I think he's good enough at being just every so slightly manipulative and pushy in the right ways to sort of open Majima up too and that's a whole fucking thing bc Majima hates that. He's also unpredictable and does not want to be open or vulnerable in any way, so Majima also snubs him at times, blows him off or is outwardly mean. Not someone you wanna stake any bets on.

And finally as far as main characters that would play a role, there's Kazama. And boy howdy. Kazama for reasons I cannot get into now, I think feels mostly guilty when it comes to Nishiki (and to an extent Yuko) that he doesn't quite get from his other kids which definitely skews his favoritism. I think that Kiryu was so young, a baby of very young toddler, that Kazama was happy to easily mold him for a long time (until Kiryu watches him kill two people that is, bc I think that really sent some genuine doubts that he'd never had before into motion bur I digress) he Kay as well have found Kiryu on the road. And I think due to her directly witnessing the violence, Yumi cannot really remember much without panicking except that Kazama was there and she needed him. For various reasons I think there was something about Nishiki that told Kazama that he not only ruined this child's life (in my own hc about what happened very nearly killed him and yuko also) but that Nishiki still didn't need him to be successful or happy or whatever and that really rubs Kazama the wrong way, both bc he can't calm any of his guilt and bc it hurts his pride. So to him, Nishiki going away to jail and simply not existing other than a name uttered with scorn or mockery was fitting. He wouldn't say that for sure, he'd never admit that his pride and sense of usefulness was hurt, but it was. Still I think there is something in him that cares about Nishiki, despite their contrasting personalities and the more cold additude he always gave him compared to the other kids, he does to some extent love Nishiki and he doesn't really like that. Flies in the face of him being in control of everything. Nishiki comes back and he doesn't try to go out of his way to harass him at first, or make his life harder, but he doesn't really stop anyone from trying to attack him, nor does he ignore when Nishiki inadvertently gets somewhat involved in the clan drama or when he tries to find Kiryu or Yumi again. Only really speaking to him to tell him they'd be better off if he stayed away from them.

I realize this isn't much actual plot and just general Vibes of what I'm going for, as well as needless character analysis but I hope it's enjoyable anyway. I personally like it when things get really really bad for a character and then through sheer force of continuing to fight even if it seems pointless things get, just that little bit better bc they didn't give up and nobody refuses to give up completely quite like Nishiki. I can't say I didn't think of this as an excise to make Nishiki break down in tears again repeatedly but what can you I love when men cry. I'm sure I have more ideas for this but it is now. 4:30 am so! Another time! But I love fish boy I love to hurt him and then make him better.

#ant emails #yakuza #🐉🐟#tagging this as that so i can find it but also #i didnt go into it but it would be There. itit would be there...#ashen waste

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boysdontcryboycry · 1 year

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wam bam. doing my usual scene-scumming and in 3.07 the bite it goes immediately from the jopper tedkaren+holly ufo scene directly into the ending of bttf and it schmacked wires around in my brain and killed me, that ted is not unlike george mcfly, mostly the glasses and clothes and paying more attention to the television than his wife and kids and obliviousness and how he's not a bad guy and he loves his kids he's just not very mentally present or parental and yeah it's actually very loud, and how lorraine is just an older and drunker karen with ten more years of loveless marriage under her belt, and how they have three kids and how in a bad timeline this is exactly how the wheelers could end up with two fully grown kids still stuck at home working jobs they hate, linda and dave, nancy and mike, and the youngest still in high school, marty and holly, just watching the slow train wreck that is their family.

and how easy it would be, with some tiny age shifting, to make a bttf au with mike as marty, and either scott clarke or murray (more likely) or bob? as the doc (as much as dustin would be The Doc he also wouldn't exist in 1959), and also you could easily make it tedgate by giving karen an older brother (cousin joanna, no idea which side or who the aunt or uncle is, who would also replace uncle joey from bttf) and also mike uncomfortably being blatantly hit on by his younger mother and also subtly hit on or flirted with by his younger father which gives him So Many revelations about how oh he IS exactly like his dad especially if ted becomes a famous author like george,

and idk exactly how it would resolve but maybe like. og timeline same thing happens ted was in a tree watching karen's brother working on a car in the driveway or mowing the lawn or something and the bough breaks and he gets hit by karen's dad and karen does the same thing she would've done and is immediately making moves on him cuz she's just a little bit of a horny loser and ted's not dumb he knows he's gay and he knows that society and his family won't like that and he's gonna have to get married someday and karen is clearly interested and also he gets to subtly ogle her brother at family functions forever.

and in the fixed timeline with mike's friendship and interference (and since will is jennifer and mike knows himself and is comfortable with himself and knows his parents aren't raging homophobes) mike helps ted come out in that one week and they willingly enter a lavender marriage together fully in the know, and back in present day they're best friends who seem like a perfect couple to everyone else who are both free step outside of their marriage if they ever really wanted to but even now in a slowly improving society they probably won't divorce anytime soon because of tax and legal benefits and they know better than anyone marriage is literally just a social construct

no idea what a biff equivalent would be though. maybe the mayor? lonnie byers? so like og bad timeline lonnie didn't get karen so he married joyce and stuck around, worse timeline lonnie killed ted and left joyce after jon and will were born to marry karen, and fixed timeline lonnie married joyce and then empowered karen (and ted) inspired joyce to kick lonnie to the curb when will was very young idk? and for the 2015 iteration of kid biff at some point in the og bad timeline lonnie abandoned joyce and the boys and had other kids that grew up to be mini lonnies. 1985 teen biff is just troy tho. oh and maybe 2015 teen biff is troy's kid. either way.

#bttf au my beloved #byler

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bisexualhobi · 2 years

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Well said, about NCT individual member careers. Because it became obvious many years ago that SM was just using the NCT model to discard members at will (even before the Lucas situation) and keep those around that can still make money on the NCT name. NCT Dream is currently replacing NCT127 in importance, tho clumsily. These 2 or 3 new subgroups will eventually replace NCT127, WayV, and Dream. I think seeing Super Junior, Shinee, and EXO (on the boy group side) have both group and individual schedules and careers made it obvious that with NCT they didn't want same thing happening. One could argue that Super Junior, Shinee, and EXO have a huge amount of group bargaining power that NCT really don't have seeing how they were set up. Around this time, especially with NCT127, there should have been waaay more done with cultivating member solo career outside of NCT. At this time, unlike the other groups, there's only a handful (maybe 7 or 8 out of 23, is sad state) of NCT I can see sticking around and SM can just evenutally have them in their own subgroup or under NCT U label and continue to make money off the NCT brand.

yeah it's really sad to see cause these guys are used as pawns (even more so than regular idols) and get discarded easily. the only ones that have arguably garnered the most individual rep and could maybe renew/have real solo opportunities under sm are doyoung, mark, taeyong, ten, jaehyun, and haechan. literally in that order. doyoung has been groomed as the face of nct the most even though he's not the leader and mark is a gold mine waiting to be exploited since he doesn't have to enlist..

either way shinee exo and suju all have it way better even though they're not the shiny new toy sm favors.. all because they were built in a traditional idol group structure

#asks

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giffingthingsss · 6 months

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Look your hardest, dear. I wouldn’t hide if I could.

Joy was a genius. But she could come across as arrogant, a bit of a show off. She recalled, for example, a time when someone had played a piece on the piano. She sat down after them and played that same piece 'ten times better.' (Looking back, she felt kinda bad about that.)

Joy could read a music scorebook, put it away, and then sit down and play it from memory.

She was a natural poet. She had little patience for the frivolous things of life; she would rather read.

It reminds me a lot of a younger Lewis, actually. Sulking around school as a teenager mumbling about how all these dumb boys only talk about cricket. He would later remark that it was probably a good thing that as a priggish young man he did not become the popular poet he so desperately wanted to be.

It was probably a good thing for Joy's character too that she never quite broke through. (I would rather read her stuff than practically any poetry I've ever seen, tho. It's delectable. I mean, I'm sorry, but bump Dickinson out of the way. Joy should be a household name.)

She often looked much older than she was due to her frumpy style. Her mother made insulting comments about it constantly. 'Why can't you be more like your pretty cousin', etc...

Outwardly Joy could be opinionated and intense, brimming with ideas and critique, often sort of searching for a person to dump them on. Woe betide whoever she picked.

When she was into something, she was all in. If she knew what she wanted, she went after it.

She was attracted to deep, intelligent people. She had a fling with one of her professors.

Inwardly she had a lot of insecurities.

Her mother's comments bothered her. Her father was strict and 'always right'. Between the two she felt constantly put down.

She had health issues when she was younger, one of which caused her eyes to protrude slightly. She never considered herself beautiful.

She told her brother that she was open-minded about marriage and fine with her husband running around on her, and then wrote poetry about how hurt she was.

Joy wasn't terribly cut out to be a housewife. She found herself going rather mad. Later she would remark that she began to resent Bill, not just because of the way he acted, but because of what he expected her to be.

In England, some people liked her, some didn't. Lewis found her hilarious and enjoyed her company (except for the fact that she stayed longer than invited and rather exhausted the old bachelor with constant conversation).

She was rather shocking to Lewis' friends, but since these were codgy Oxford dons, one must take their definition of 'shocking' with a grain of salt.

Despite trying to work on herself, old habits died hard. She once blew up at the wife of one of Lewis' friends. Lewis sheepishly tried to defend her.

I think Lewis understood her more than others because a lot of her struggles had been his own. And unlike some who would perhaps try to squirm away from her directness and thirst for debate, Lewis loved both of those things. He had found a worthy sparring partner.

The Inklings said that Lewis talked about her as though she were 'some kind of angelic being,' much to their annoyance. They didn't see it.

Tolkien didn't like her and worried she was taking advantage of Lewis. Lewis stopped talking to Tolkien about his private life. When they got married, Tolkien found out from the newspaper. (As an aside, when Joy was dying in hospital years later, Tolkien's wife happened to be there at the same time and she and Joy became friends.)

One who did accept their marriage was Jack's brother Warnie. He admired Joy immensely and was heartbroken when she died.

Others came around when they actually saw the two of them together.

What impressed me most about their marriage was its natural quality. There was no striving to be something they were not, to be clever, or even good. They just were. They accepted each other simply, naturally, without fret or fuss. They were kind to each other and unusually quick to grasp the nuances of each other's thoughts.

A Grief Observed is not only an examination of a loss, but a tribute to the woman C.S. Lewis loved.

It is often thought that the dead see us. And we assume, whether reasonably or not, that if they see us at all they see us more clearly than before. Does [Joy] now see exactly how much froth or tinsel there was in what she called, and I call, my love? So be it. Look your hardest, dear. I wouldn’t hide if I could. We didn’t idealize each other. We tried to keep no secrets. You knew most of the rotten places in me already. If you now see anything worse, I can take it. So can you. Rebuke, explain, mock, forgive. For this is one of the miracles of love; it gives — to both, but perhaps especially to the woman — a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted...

All reality is iconoclastic. The earthly beloved, even in this life, incessantly triumphs over your mere idea of her. And you want her to; you want her with all her resistances, all her faults, all her unexpectedness. That is, in her foursquare and independent reality.

#more joy and lewis stuff #i just find it fascinating k?#leave me alone #joy davidman

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brookheimer · 2 years

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made because i saw a version of this on here that was pretty much the opposite and i needed to speak my truth

#it was mob as the long one and reigen’s just said ‘whore’#which like yeah a mood #but my personal experience watching mob psycho has been more like this #SORRY FOR BEING MOB PSYCHO ON MAIN #i don’t watch anime very much or at all really but my friend made me watch mob and i love it i highly recommend #bcs mutuals imagine the bestest little ten year old in the world wandering into a young jimmy mcgill’s office asking for help #and jimmy just talks at him for a while and says platitudes and is full charisma mode so the kid will get what they need and leave #but the kid is like IN AWE of everything he says and imprints onto him like a baby duck with their mom #and jimmy realizes huh maybe i could use this kid around here. i cant let him know i’m kind of a fraud though #so an unlikely partnership forms and even tho it starts out with jimmy using the kid for personal gain they grow to develop a real bond and #change each others’ lives and jimmy wgile still manipulative and ambitious and self interested doesn’t break bad anymore #hijinks and emotions ensue #mp100 #mob psycho #mob psycho 100 #100 #500 #1000 #?! did not expect like anyone to see this

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cinnabeat · 4 years

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literally all older siblings are guilty of this myself included but who the FUCK does my brother think he is ordering me around like im a fucking toddler after getting pissed off at something HE started!

#im so MAD #u know that slightly condescending ordering tone of voice parnets use at kids #i fucking hate it #my brother turned 18 and decided he was my third parent and he better fucking understand that i dont take that shit #ill freely admit i do that sometimed too with my little brother #UNLIKE my older brother tho i have reasons #its kinda hard not to act like a parent when youre ten years apart and you spent the first four years of his life literally parenting him #you dont take care of a toddler every weekend and come out of it not acting like a parent #i try not to anymore bc i genuinely hate ordering anyone especially in the tone of voice my parents use #and there really is no need for me to do it anymore since my parents are around more #but my brother doesnt have that excuse!!!#to this fucking day im still the one that watches my little brother while my older one goes and takes a nap for 12 fucking hours #its fucking annoying when my parents go out and the give me a list of things to do and watch out for and mot even GLANCE at my brother #its so god damn IRRITATING ugh #he got mad at me when hes the one who started shit like!!!!! shut the fuck UP

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miekasa · 3 years

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speaking of college boys, what do the college au aot babies study??

Okay, okay, I think I’ve talked about this in an ask before but I can’t find it 😭😭 but it’s okay, I love college aus, so I’ll talk about it again! Plus, now I’ve got more thoughts for more characters, so here we go

Levi — neuroscience and psychology of human behavior

He started out on track to do a bachelor of arts in psychology, but when they touched on the anatomy and biological parts of it during his first year lecture, he switched to a bachelor of science.

The focus is still psychology, but through a more clinical lens. Essentially, he gets the best of both worlds this way. He’s intuitive and analytical, so clinical and mental diagnosis is easy to dissect for him. He’s also canonically good at math, so the calculus and stats parts aren’t too bad, either.

This major also leaves him with a few options post-grad, which is a nice bonus for him. He’s likely going to medical school, but that’s not the only route open to him: law school, therapy, lab work, medicine and pharmacy, even teaching are all viable options without going to grad school.

Do not talk to him about Freud unless you wanna get punted off a building.

Be careful with him, because with a single glance he’s already got scarily accurate predictions about your parental and emotional attachment styles, your behavior in social settings, and the onset (or seemingly lack thereof) of your frontal lobe development.

He thinks he’s so smart making comments like, “I see those synaptic connections aren’t working so well for you today,” like mf come here let me lobotomize you and see how well your synaptic connects are working after that🙄

Eren — general health sciences

He’s interested in science and the discovery aspects of it, but picking a specific field of focus right now feels too final. He likes it this way, because his schedule and requirements are less restrictive, and he has more room to find out what really interests him.

He does best when he’s doing something he loves, so picking a major with a bunch of reqs that he couldn’t care less about would have sucked big time for him. It also would have affected his grades. There are still some classes he has to take that he’s not fond of (see: chemistry), but that’s to be expected. Science in general is cool to him and he hopes to make his own discovery some day, even if it’s microscopic.

He also plays a lot of sports, keeping his schedule flexible is important. The sports end up helping him excel academically, which is a nice bonus. Honestly, Eren uses his time at university to learn more about himself than anything, so having control and freedom to do what he likes the majority of the time was important to him.

He uses his elective credits to take philosophy or history courses of his interest, or maybe even a course that you’re in just to spend time with you. He also uses you as a live model for his homework bye, congrats on being patient number one to him.

Armin — astronomy and physics

He’s still interested in marine biology, but unless he attended a school near a coast, or with a specialized integrated program for that, it’s unlikely he’d major in it during undergrad.

Space and ocean exploration aren’t all that different. Both are vast, largely unexplored domains that reel-in Armin’s interest for discovery. So, while studying astronomy, he still gets to study evolution and make his own predictions about what could be out there because there’s so much to know.

Physics comes with the territory of learning about planetary science, and he’s mathematically inclined, so it works out for him. Learning about the different physical properties of other planets and space masses is honestly pretty sick to him. Because math isn’t a struggle, he actually considered aeronautical engineering, but he didn’t want to be a part of the college to military pipeline; that is, he didn’t want any potential design of his to be weaponized.

He still gets to study animal biology through his elective courses, and might even find a few focused on marine animals to satiate him. Plant and cell biology are also of interest to him, and are just further applications of his primary study anyway, so he’s got plenty of room to work with.

This boy is interning at NASA and still, with his whole chest out is like, “I don’t need to discover a new planet, you’re my whole world.” Armin, go check on the Mars rover or something please.

Mikasa — anthropology + minor in japanese language studies

Anthropology is virtually interdisciplinary in nature, and Mikasa is a pretty well rounded student, so she’s able to excel in a program like this. She gets to study history, science, cultural studies, and even a bit of art all at once.

She’s still debating between going to law school vs med school, so anthro this is a good in-betweener. She gets a taste of science through her anatomy and kin courses; and lots of practice with reading and dissecting texts through the historical and cultural lectures. So, when the time comes to decide, she’ll have some experience with both.

Don’t know whether it’s confirmed that she’s (part) Japanese or not, but either way I headcanon that she speaks/spoke some second language at home. She wanted to delve more into it, and courses were offered at the university so why not?

Cultural studies courses end up being her favorite. She likes learning about the history of people and their cultures, and it encourages her to learn more about her own family history and culture. It also propels her to apply for a study abroad opportunity, so she spends at least one semester doing an exchange program and absolutely loves it.

She would also encourage you to apply and go, too. You guys might not be in the same program, but if there’s an applicable program in the same country she’s going to, then she’d definitely want you to apply. Spending the semester away with you would be a dream come true.

Hange — bioengineering + minor in political philosophy and law

It’s almost self-sabotage to be in an engineering program and have a minor; the coursework for engineering alone is backbreaking, and bioengineering has the added weight of human intricacies, but of course Hange makes it possible.

They’re nothing short of a genius, so of course they have time to work a completely unrelated minor into their schedule. It doesn’t surprise anyone that they go on to complete an MD-PhD after undergrad. Insane.

Bioengineering is essentially the synthesis of chemical engineering and health sciences; Hange spends their time exploring biological sciences and applies the engineering aspects of their coursework to their understanding of (and interest in creating) medicine. Truly a one of a kind mind.

They also have an interest in philosophy and justice, so when they found out they only needed a measly nine or ten courses to minor in, they went for it, of course. In honesty, they don’t find the studies all that opposing: both law making and medicine making both have some kind of philosophy or method to them in their eyes.

Hange has... little to no free time pls. They don’t mind it, because they love their coursework, but this means you are essentially ducking into their labs or scrambling to find them in-between their classes during your time in undergrad. They appreciate every second spent with you tho, and will gladly rope you into long discussions about their work.

Jean — biochemistry + minor in art sustainability

He was undeclared his first year, and took a little bit of everything: art, science, history, anthropology, english. Basically, anything that fit into his schedule. It was hard for him to pick one thing—he liked the science and lab applications of STEM courses, but not the math; and the obvious painting and creativity of art, but hated the pretentious air about art history.

What he wants to do is make a difference, which is how he ends up knowing that he wants to go to med school after, so he picks a science-heavy major, but uses his elective spaces to take art courses. When he mixes the two, he ends up on sustainability—and the complexities about it that are applicable to both science and art are what really reels him in.

Interdisciplinary studies end up being his forte. He can approach sustainability from a science perspective which impacts his art style and materials; and tuning into his creative side allows him to think about science not just from a purely clinical perspective, but from a human one, too—patients are people after all.

He believes that everything is connected somehow, even things as seemingly opposite as art and biochemistry. And he works towards finding the unique intersection where everything overlaps. His studies are pretty cool, and he’s very passionate about them, so ask him about it 😌

The art he makes is pretty sick, too, and often commentary about science; he’s proving they’re not so opposite. You also heavily influence his studies in both areas: caring about you so much inspires him to take the healthcare focus seriously, and your very nature is inspiration to his art.

Sasha — nursing

She’s friendly and good at working with people, so nursing was an easy choice for her. She accredits most of her motivation to being around her younger family members, and learns that she finds a simple kind of joy in helping to take care of others.

She struggles a bit her first year when it’s mostly all grades and standardized testing, but when she starts getting clinical experience and working in the hospital on campus, things round out for her.

Patient care is her strongest point. A lot of people often forget that knowing everything isn’t everything; if you don’t know how to calm or even just talk to your patient, you’re not that great of a healthcare professional.

Pretty certain that she wants to work with kids in the future, but she’s open to public health and even being a travel nurse if she finds opportunity there!

Of course, she’s pretty doting when it comes to you and all her friends. She might want to go into pediatrics, but the basics of nursing and health care extend to everyone, so you’re guaranteed to be well taken care of with Sasha around. You might even have to switch roles and take care of her sometimes, because her coursework can get pretty out of hand.

Connie — computer engineering with a focus on game design

He might not look it, but Connie has a brain under that shaved head of his. Computer engineering is cool to him because he basically learns about how simple things he uses every day (ie: phone, computer, microwave) works.

Systems and coding are actually the easy part for him, especially when they get into the application of it and aren’t just stuck looking at examples. That’s how he gets into game design.

The part about math and electricity and magnetic fields… well let’s just say he needed to make friends with someone who likes math and hardware his first year to get through it. But the struggle was worth it, because by his junior year he’s found a professor willing to mentor/supervise him as he works on his game and other projects, so life is good.

His school work is definitely hard, which is why the lives by the mantra of “work hard, party harder.” It’s only fair.

He makes you a little avatar so you can test out his games for him <33 best boyfriend things <33 He’d also… build a game about your relationship. Every level is a different date you guys went on, and he definitely includes something cheesy, like “There are unlimited lives because I love you forever babe <3”

Porco — kinesiology + maybe mechanical engineering

He’s pretty into athletics and working out, but didn’t wanna go down the sports psychology route; he wanted something that left him with a few more options, so he ended up in kinesiology.

He was surprisingly pretty good at biology in high school, so something stem-oriented works out in his favor, and it turns out he’s pretty damn good at anatomy, too. He’ll probably end up in physical therapy after graduation.

He’s also got a knack for cars, which is where the engineering comes in, but he doesn’t care so much for the math part of it (he doesn’t care for it at all actually, fuck that); he just wants the hands on experience of building/fixing things and working with his hands. So, if he can get a minor in it and not struggle through 4 years of math, then he’d do that. If not, he’d take a few workshop-like classes.

Because he wants to go into physical therapy, you are essentially his practice patient. Your back hurts? Not a problem, he’s basically a professional masseuse. Muscle aches? He’s got a remedy and understanding of why it’s happening. Don’t let him catch you hunting over your desk grinding away at your homework, because he will poke your neck and correct your posture (he’ll also massage your shoulders, but after the scolding).

Pieck — classics + minor in philosophy

Ancient studies interest her, but more than that, the language of ancient Greek and Roman culture fascinates her, so classics is the way to go.

Because her focus within Classics ends up being Greek and Latin language studies, she is essentially learning both languages at the same time. She gets farther with Latin that she does with Greek. For whatever reason, the former comes almost naturally to her, so her written and translated work is more complex in Latin.

However, she finds cultural studies relation to Greece more interesting than that of Rome, so it’s a give and take with both; better at languages for Roman studies, better at culture and history for Greek studies.

Her minor is a natural evolution from her primary coursework. Ancient Romans and Greeks set the foundation for a lot of modern day philosophy, so it comes up in her major classes, but she wanted to delve further into the philosophy, and not just look at it historically, so she takes more courses to fulfill the minor.

Can be found laying on a blanket in the quad on a hot day, with her books spread out all around her, highlighter in hand as she works through her reading. You’re always invited to sit with her, and more often than not, it ends up with Pieck’s head in your lap, a book in her hands, and your own schoolwork in yours as you both read in each other’s company.

Bertholdt — computer science and coding

He’s level headed, good at planning, and above all, patient, so he’s cut out for this. He doesn’t consider himself to be particularly creative, which is why he doesn’t pick a speciality with lots of design; but he’s good at streamlining and ideas to life.

The patience really comes in when his code doesn’t run. It’s frustrating to scroll for two hours just to find out that the issue is a missing semi-colon in line 273 that he overlooked, but Berty will sit there until he finds it.

He’s also good at fixing issues. That’s not limited to issues in the code itself; it can mean finding shorter ways to produce the same function or loop, or integrating new aspects into existing code.

Also, he’d just be so cute, coding away on his computer. Just imagine: Berty working on his homework in the library, he’s got his signature crewneck + collared shirt look going for him, his blue-light glasses, a cup of coffee nearly as tall as him sitting at the corner of his desk. Adorable.

He’d make little codes/programs for you, too, even if it’s silly. A simple code that helps you decide what to eat for dinner or where to go on a date, one that shuffles different reminders for you, hell he’ll even forgo the torture of design engineering just to build you a little robot that says “I love you” to you.

Reiner — english + minor in justice & political philosophy

Everyone expects Reiner, star quarterback of the university’s rugby team, to be a business student or communications student; but no, he’s an English major, and he loves it.

Just imagine a guy as huge as Reiner absolutely manhandling someone on the field, just to show up in his lectures with a tiny paperback of The Great Gatsby tucked between his fingers with his reading glasses on. It’s so precious.

He’s always running a bit late to class—either coming from the gym, or practice, or oversleeping from exhaustion—but he’s so sweet to his professors and genuinely interested in the literature that they don’t give him a hard time about it. They can tell that balancing school and sports is difficult, and they just appreciate that he takes his studies seriously.

Yeah he’s in a book club and he dog-ears his books. What about it. They’re doing poetry this month and Reiner actually likes Edgar Allen Poe. Who said jocks can’t be sentimental.

He also reads a lot outside of his classes, and has a soft spot for coming of age stories. He usually empathizes with the main character somehow. His ideal weekend plans after a week of grueling games and essays is taking a long, relaxing shower at your place, while you both share a bottle of wine, and maybe even get you to read a chapter or two of his current book out loud to him.

Annie — clinical psychology/neuroscience

Almost scarily analytical and methodic, so this major was calling her name. Localizing brain legions is… insanely intuitive to her it’s incredible. She’ll be an insanely impressive doctor someday, even if she doesn’t end up working with patients directly.

She doesn’t care too much for the more philosophical/reading heavy parts of psychology. Even experiments and research closer to the social end of the spectrum aren’t all that interesting to her; but the brain science behind it it.

Nobody should be good at cellular biology. Nobody should be able to ace cell bio and neuro and calc and work towards their thesis proposal in the same semester, but Annie proves it’s possible.

Ends up working in one of her professor’s labs by her junior year. She was offered three TA positions working with first year students, but she swiftly turned them down. Teaching isn’t her thing.

She doesn’t bring up her studies to you unprompted, but if you ask her about them she’ll explain it to you. Her notes are color coded and it’s super neat, and very cute; coloring them is somewhat relaxing for her. She usually saves the coloring part for when you guys study together; there’s extra comfort in doing it with you around.

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