#unhealthy fictional relationships | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladychiffa · 3 months

Text

Overprotected

Chitose Fujinomiya’s thoughts || Chitose/Eiji || Chitose/Ichiban || Infinite Wealth spoilers

Read this on AO3

“Chitose, darling! How are you doing?”

“Fine, mom.”

“Oh, dear, why is it always ‘fine’ with you? Tell me what’s going on, how’s your day been so far…”

“It’s been… fine, mom.”

It hadn’t. The last couple of weeks had been the worst in Chitose Fujinomiya’s life. And the one she had been blaming for this was herself.

“Well, darling, you see,” mom said, and Chitose got the sense that the woman was uncomfortable even talking about this to her daughter. “I’ve been contacted by the dean’s office a few hours ago. They say you haven’t been attending your classes recently. They tried to reach out to you but had no luck. Are you okay, sweetheart? Is there any trouble?”

“No, I’ve just… I’ve been quite sick recently. Decided it was better to stay at home and focus on healing…”

“Oh, gosh! You should definitely see a doctor!..”

“It’s okay, mom. It’s just a bad, bad flu. I’m fine, just need a couple more days.”

Mom’s voice subdued at the end of the line.

“Well, if you say so…”

Chitose was lying. Physically, she was rather fine. However, ever since meeting Ichiban Kasuga, she started viewing the last three years of her life as a fever dream.

It all started with a simple DM. “Hey, Tatara! I've been a huge fan of yours ever since that exposé of the Fujinomiya business. Can we chat?” How easy it would have been to say no! “Do not chat with strangers on the internet,” her mom always said. But Chitose felt lonely. Upset. Invisible to her own family. So she tapped “Respond.” And only now did she realize this had been the biggest mistake of her life.

“Chitose, darling… You can talk to me. You know this, right?”

No, she couldn’t. She had made this mistake enough times in her life to know the true meaning of these words. If she were to let anyone in her family in on the truth, it would backfire instantly. No pocket money, no freedom to move around the city, no sympathy whatsoever. And a ton of accusations. “You’re a grown-up woman, you shouldn’t trust some stranger you barely know!” Yeah, she already knew this pretty damn well.

“Yes, mom… I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you later…”

“You’ve gotta go where?” Mom's voice got louder. “You’re sick, where are you heading?”

“To bed, mom, to bed,” said Chitose rubbing her forehead as her brain felt like splitting in half. “Bye.”

“Hope to see you soon, darling,” a confused voice said from the speaker of a trendy smartphone.

Chitose swiftly pressed the red icon and lowered the hand on top of her knees. She wouldn’t want to see her mom. She wouldn’t want to see anybody.

It was starting out too well. Chitchats after every stream. Praises, and flattery, and all the gaudy understanding a twenty-three-year-old girl may want. In no time, she found herself shivering at every DM beep. Day after day, all she’d been looking forward to was crawling under her blanket and reading what her mysterious follower had to say.

His profile barely had anything. There was a nickname, an edgy picture, and the interest: drama and exposé videos. That was it. Soon Chitose found herself lacking the means to feed her imagination. So she turned to the internet. She entered the nickname into a search engine and dove deep into the abyss of useless info. On page six, she found an account on another social media website. It had the same nickname and profile picture. But that wasn't all. There was also the age (twenty-nine at the time) and more old profile pics. Scrolling through them one after the other, Chitose found one that caught her eye. A dark room, a window lit by the streetlights outside, and a grim silhouette of a man standing sideways. The most striking was that, unlike all the other profile images, this one looked less quality, as if not appropriated from the net but taken on someone’s cheap smartphone.

Can one fall in love with a single grim profile picture? Chitose didn’t know. If only she had a friend to ask! But she was all alone, staring at a dim silhouette of a man on the little phone screen night after night. And it did feel like falling. As if she had lost her footing and was crashing down with no landing in sight. And then… then she got the message.

“Shall we meet?”

Her palms got sweaty in an instant. Her mind, confused between the images of a gleeful meetup and the scolding she’d get for going out without permission, was in a state of utter shock. Without even realizing what she was doing, Chitose typed, “Yes.”

She remembered entering the café they chose together. There were five tables, and all of them were occupied by different men. But for Chitose one glance was enough to send shivers down her spine. She knew it was him. It was the same old silhouette she was used to seeing on her screen. Disheveled hair, an oversized T-shirt, scruffy stubble and a cheeky smile on his handsome face. Barely feeling her toes, Chitose made a few steps towards the table. And was met with a blank stare of these deep brown eyes.

”Can I help you?” the man of her dreams asked quietly.

“Yeah…” she uttered in confusion. “I’m… Tatara Hisoka. We’ve agreed to meet here…”

She noticed a spark of curiosity in his eyes. He scanned her appearance in one thorough gaze, skimming her look from the short black hair to the sweatshirt and baggy jeans, vaguely smiled, and said to her face:

”I didn't expect you being this… It’s nice finally meeting you, Tatara-chan!”

Only recently had she remembered this first phrase. For years, she had been suppressing this moment in her memory. Trying to forget she was never what he wanted. And almost succeeding.

He introduced himself almost instantly. Eiji Mitamura. In person, he had no intention to hide his face or his name. This was what got her hooked on. For the first time, she had someone totally honest with her. And she felt that she could be honest with him. What a mistake…

It became their secret. Meetings in tiny cafés. Them sharing channel design and content ideas. Innocent chat at first, it swiftly turned into actual videos. Chitose was grateful for Eiji’s input. His ideas were bringing in hundreds and thousands of viewers. Numbers she couldn’t even dream of just recently. And, naturally, she was too excited to notice what actually mattered.

Eiji liked it hot. The new character design he brought for Tatara was a lot more revealing than her original drawings. He always had a quip on Chitose’s looks. Her hair being short was too boyish, her sweatshirts being huge were too ugly, her coy attitude wasn’t steamy enough. She was never enough. And that was what changed her.

She was used to thinking it was for the good. She was becoming a better person. Less repressed, more open-minded. Thinking critically. Turning into a woman she would admire. A strong one, the one to never be manipulated, never be pushed over by anyone, including her family. Funny… Isn’t this exactly who she became to him? Just a pushover, a puppet he would ventriloquize from?

But she didn’t notice. She was in love. With the dim image on the avatar, with the silhouette at the café table, with the quiet laughter and loud anger. And she hid it as well as she could. Meaning… it was painfully obvious. Her trying to seize his attention. Her grasping at straws to make him like her. For months, she would be giving herself up, little by little, thinking that she was being smart, and strategic, and doing everything to win him over. Little did she realize: it was his plan all along. To tease her, to make her betray herself, to make her easy to string along. And that first kiss in the dark alleyway at midnight… it wasn’t her winning. It was him accepting her as his voluntary slave.

It had always been bittersweet. Those sacred kisses no one would see. Those careless words that would make her shiver. That night she called her mom lying that she was staying for a sleepover at a friend’s house while half-naked on the floor in Eiji’s apartment with him running his fingers down her chest. It felt off, but she couldn’t put her finger on why. So she decided to focus on what felt sweet and ignore the bitter.

Chitose didn’t expect what would come next. One day, she spent almost eight hours DMing Eiji with no response. On the verge of tears, she finally saw a new message: “I’m sorry, baby, I’m in Hawaii. Don’t know when I’ll be back. Don’t miss me too much!” Soon, she realized that she did. She could almost sense his absence. The emptiness where he used to be. Chitose was quite used to her life feeling empty. But for the first time, no amount of online videos was able to cover it.

Eiji would fly in and out of Japan every now and then, leaving Chitose feeling like she herself was switching between two different countries: one with him in it and one without. And, little by little, the second one started to consume the other. Even when Eiji was in town, he had no time to see her. No time for chatting. No time to answer her DMs. No time to even open them sometimes. Chitose tried asking her mom of what this might even mean, but the suspicion in her eyes made Chitose stop questioning. She didn’t want mom to find out. Or, maybe, she didn’t want to know how deeply off these relationships actually were.

Chitose never cared much for her studies, to be honest. There was never a purpose to it. Just… having a degree would be nice for a promising young lady. She was attending classes and passing exams in order to simply be busy. Only when Eiji once again left for Hawaii she found a motive to get better at studying. No, it wasn’t an unexpected urge for knowledge. It was an exchange program she found in one of the many leaflets passed around the campus.

How proud of herself she was when she got accepted! It was as if all the hard work she put into it was paying off. Chitose imagined herself arriving at the Honolulu airport, calling Eiji’s number…

He didn’t pick up. Didn’t read her message. Utterly confused, she arrived at her dorm with other exchange students. She didn’t feel victorious. It was as if the finish line she was running towards and almost reached was getting further and further away.

Chitose raised her head, put the phone on the nightstand, and went to the bathroom. A tiny room with a shower, a toilet, a sink and a mirror above it. It was the latter that caught her attention. Or was it the image of a confused girl reflected there?

A glance in the mirror reminded Chitose of how she started to realize how wrong this whole thing was. She was standing right there with a phone pressed to her ear, listening to Eiji’s voice begging her to fetch something from the house of some old lady. “Please, I have no time to explain, just do what I’m asking you.” It was off. Eiji never needed her help. He was never asking her for anything. Especially anything illegal. And this venture seemed totally against the law. But the suspicion wasn’t enough for Chitose to refuse. She nodded, put the phone down, and ran off looking for a taxi.

Everything was going fine. She sneaked into the house, started flipping through stuff, trying to find anything that resembled the necklace Eiji described… and then she heard a door knock. There was someone outside. Someone out there to catch her. Panic went up Chitose’s throat. She couldn’t even breathe. She knew – now she was going to jail. What a fitting end to her stupidity…

She had to calm down. She forced herself to inhale, slowly filling her lungs with air. Then, she briefly exhaled and ran downstairs. Whoever was there, she was going to find her way out of this. After all, she was actually smart. And witty. And quite hot, if this comes in handy.

When she entered the hallway, she almost froze in fear. The uninvited guest… she recalled his image immediately. A yakuza. A former yakuza, to be completely frank. But still… When Eiji brought her that expose, she wasn’t actually betting on it doing well. But the video went viral in just a couple of hours. Chitose was over the moon when she saw the viewer count. She never expected the man in question to show up on her doorstep. Well, it wasn’t her doorstep, but nevertheless… It took her courage to smile at him, and nod, and keep talking as if everything was normal. Inside, Chitose was full of fear and panic.

When the man went to the bathroom, she instantly grabbed her phone and called the number on the speed dial. A familiar voice responded:

“How’s it going? Have you found it?”

“No!” Chitose whispered hastily. “I don’t know what happened… That yakuza from the video last month – he’s here somehow! I don’t know what to do!..”

“It’s okay,” Eiji didn’t sound troubled at all. “Do something to him. You’re good at martial arts, aren’t you? Just knock him out!”

“This musclehead?” Chitose’s eyes went wide. “There’s no way, he’s… huge!”

“Oh, come on!” The man was clearly annoyed. “Check the kitchen out. The old hag must have sleeping pills somewhere. Just drug him! And then drop him off somewhere…”

“Eiji… can’t you just come and help me? I don’t know how I would drug him…”

“I can’t,” he sounded dead-set on this. “Too busy.”

“Eiji, please!” Chitose started begging. “I‘ve never wanted this! Please, you have to help me!”

“Fine,” said Eiji reluctantly. “I’ll be there in two hours. Knock him out.”

“Eiji…”

But he had already hung up. Chitose sighed in frustration and ran to the kitchen.

Drugging Ichiban was much easier than she expected. He had no suspicion whatsoever. On the opposite: he was very open, and lively, and funny… It took strength for Chitose to not get charmed instantly. And, when he finally collapsed from all the pills and alcohol, she could rest easy and think.

This felt off. Digging through stuff in some else’s house. Lying her way out of being discovered doing this. Feeding sleeping pills to a stranger. She never wanted any part in this. Her only hope was Eiji arriving in time. So when the front door screeched again, Chitose ran to it as if her life depended on it.

“Is he unconscious?”

“Yes…”

“Good.”

Eiji didn’t seem okay. He could barely move his feet, pressing his shoulder against the wall and slowly making one step at a time. Chitose’s heart went out to him. If only she knew he was so unwell, she wouldn’t have called him.

“I’m sorry I made you come all the way here. Are you alright? Is there anything…”

“I’m fine,” responded Eiji with annoyance. “Where is he? We need to get rid of the guy.”

“He’s… in the backyard…”

Swearing through his teeth and stumbling, Eiji headed across the room. Chitose followed him, trying to decide if she could offer him her shoulder to lean on. The man was coping pretty well. It even seemed that every next step was getting less shaky than the previous one.

Eiji left the house and approached the guy lying face down on the porch. Barely maintaining the balance, he kicked the man on the ribs. The ex-yakuza was unresponsive.

“You fucking moron,” she heard Eiji’s voice. “Your rush to get here just ruined everything for me.”

“What do we do now?” Chitose asked nervously.

“Help me over here…”

Eiji sat down and tried to lift Ichiban from the floor. But the guy was way too big for him to handle, especially considering the tremble in Eiji’s legs. Chitose dashed towards him and grabbed Ichiban under the other shoulder. Together, they managed to lift the man from the ground. Still swaying, Eiji made a couple of steps towards the ocean…

“Where are we taking him?” Chitose asked, hoping her partner had a plan.

“We’ll drop him into the water,” Eiji replied, barely standing. “In this state, we won’t even wake up before his lungs fill up…”

Chitose froze at her spot. No way. Yeah, this Ichiban was a yakuza with a terrifyingly huge build, he was a dangerous man to be around. But just the few minutes they spent together were enough for Chitose to truly believe: he hadn’t deserved such a cruel fate.

“What’s wrong, Chitose?” Eiji turned his head and graced her with an annoyed glance.

“I can’t,” she said, unable to make a single step towards the water.

Eiji turned his body towards her, almost dropping Ichiban back to the ground. His angry stare made Chitose wish she had never picked up her phone that day.

“And what’s your suggestion, Miss Help-me-Eiji-I-don’t-know-what-to-do?”

Indeed. Wasn’t it her who begged for him to come and solve this? Now things were different. She wasn’t ready for every solution Eiji could come up with. So she had to make her own choice.

In the end, she actually convinced him to help her undress the man and drop him out on a public beach, hoping for him to get arrested and sent to jail. It took Eiji quite some time to consider this alternative, but he agreed, finding it much more promising.

“This idiot is lucky. If we keep an eye on him, we may even find what we’re looking for.”

Chitose was happy to agree. She never wanted blood on her hands. Especially the blood of a relatively nice guy who had done nothing to hurt her.

This was almost two weeks ago. It was then that she started to get the sense that something was wrong. And now… she knew exactly what.

But back then, she didn’t have all the intel. She only had what Eiji was willing to share. For the first time in their relationship, he seemed to be truly interested in her help. His instructions to Chitose were extremely hard to follow. She had to infiltrate Barracudas’ main office and get as much info on this Akane lady as possible. At first, Chitose thought that he was joking. It wasn’t an easy fit to sneak into a place guarded by one of the most fearsome mafia groups on the island. But when Eiji leaned towards her from the driver’s seat of his car and graced her cheek with his warm breath, Chitose felt her knees trembling.

“Please, Tatara-chan. Be a nice girl for me.”

A single kiss on the cheek sealed the deal. Now she was ready to die just to get a speck of his approval. Stupid, stupid girl… At least now she understood this.

She made it. She actually got into the heart of Barracudas’ operations. She would never share with anyone what she had to go through. There was no minute she felt safe. Not with Barracuda officers, not with Dwight, not even alone in the room he gave her. Scooping through the headquarters, she was finding more information about the situation with Akane. But nothing she saw there was as surprising as the appearance of Ichiban Kasuga.

His personality deeply shook her. At first, she naturally expected him to get furious, to harm her or let his two buddies do it for him. But he was… calm. Good-willing. Even stopped this Tomizawa guy from getting at her with his nosy questions. He offered his help in getting out, with just a simple expectation of guiding them through the building. Chitose had every doubt in his sincerity at first. But soon… soon she saw something she couldn’t forget or ignore. She saw the real Kasuga.

He was kind to everyone. Generous. He always tried to understand, not judge. It was as if, for him, there were no bad people in the world – there were just those he wasn’t on the same page with yet. This criminal named Ichiban Kasuga was everything the good guy Eiji never was. For her or for anyone.

Chitose fell hard. Once again, she found herself in love with her own perceived image of a human. But this time, this image wasn’t an avatar, it was real. A real, breathing human being she barely knew anything about. Every flaw she saw in him was turning into a hidden gem. He wasn’t stupid, he was honest. He wasn’t immature, he was energetic. The height and build she once found terrifying were now the reasons she found it hard to fall asleep at night. Just a thought of these big, strong arms holding her tight and pressing closer to this sculpted chest was enough for Chitose to elicit a barely audible moan. “Chi-chan,” said his imaginary voice in her head. No one ever called her that. It was weird at first, but soon she couldn’t get enough.

She felt that she needed to calm herself down. A relationship between an heiress of a wealthy family and an ex-yakuza was destined to head nowhere. With Eiji there was at least an illusion of a happily ever-after. With Ichiban there was nothing. He was old enough to be her dad, for god’s sake! Chitose had heard of the term “daddy issues” before, but only after watching Ichiban dive headlong into the ocean waves was she ready to admit she had some of her own.

Ichiban gave her everything she would never get from Eiji. Honesty. Acceptance. Approval. Sympathy. Wisdom, if one could call it this way. And what did she give him in return? Chitose sighed, looking pitifully at her image in the mirror.

Happiness just couldn’t last forever. Chitose realized this when she looked at the video platform profile she created for the clip of Ichiban. There were views, and likes, and comments. And a DM. Just one DM with a familiar avatar.

“Missed me much, Chitose?”

Of course, it was Eiji. He had been keeping an eye on them and now decided to join in. A humble smile, a clean look, a wheelchair… He looked so different from what Chitose was used to. But the core was the same. And she started seeing it as clear as day.

This was the moment Chitose finally realized what she’d lost because of Eiji. He gave her confidence, just to take it back whenever he needed to. He gave her strength, but only for it to be used in his interest. But what he’d taken altogether was the innocence and the faith in humankind. He even took Tatara, her alter-ego, and made it his puppet. She didn’t know this world was so cruel until she met Eiji. And she might have never known without him. But now it was too late to change a thing.

She betrayed Kasuga. She should have exposed Eiji from the very beginning, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Recalling the list of consequences he promised her for treason, Chitose felt trapped. Her heart was ripping in half every second she was in the same room with Eiji. And when she finally shook the feeling off, it was too late to make things right.

“Ei-chan…” Kasuga said, looking at Eiji in confusion. In an instant, Chitose found herself barely seeing anything through a thick layer of tears.

Ei-chan… Even when the man betrayed him, putting his mother in danger, Kasuga couldn’t bring himself to hate the bastard. He looked confused, not saddened or furious. And for Chitose this was the last straw.

She would never be able to look Ichiban Kasuga in the eye. Knowing what she did to him. Again, and again, and again… She felt like the worst kind of person ever existing. A traitor to everything she believed to be good and admirable. A foolish girl played by someone bigger and better at the game. So, so much better…

Chitose lowered her gaze, so hard it was to keep staring at what she’d become. She used to be so different from this version of herself. She valued honesty over the facade, comfort over looks. She used to wear clothes because she liked them and not because they made her waist look unrealistically thin. She used to be so comfortable with short hair instead of these annoying braids…

The last thought truly caught her attention. She remembered that first meeting with Eiji, that first look of his, and those first words:

”I didn't expect you being this…”

Now she knew what they meant. These were the words that made her change herself. Her image, her life, everything around her. Including these long braided strands, she couldn’t keep her eyes off.

Chitose’s fingers combed through her hair almost intuitively. A second – and she dug the very tips into the intricate braiding on the side. She freed her hair and combed through it once again. And then her hand reached out to the scissors on the shelf. Strand after strand, the long pitch-black hair started falling into the sink, taking away the persona Eiji had been imposing over her own for so long…

When Chitose was done, the girl in the mirror truly seemed like a different person. A grown-up woman, but with a soft flair of the innocence she used to possess. Her eyes were glistening with tears of grief and happiness. She was finally free. Her mind was free of the ideas Eiji had installed. Her image in the mirror was free from his influence. It was Chitose’s turn, and she would be the one to show: she was no longer afraid of Eiji. That time was gone. Now she was stronger and wiser. And not for Eiji’s benefit.

“I’m sorry, mom,” Chitose said out loud. “I will tell you everything one day. But let me have just one more chance to become myself. I will be wiser this time. I promise.”

#yakuza #like a dragon #infinite wealth #chitose fujinomiya #Fujinomiya Chitose #eiji mitamura #mitamura eiji #ichiban kasuga #kasuga ichiban #angst #unhealthy relationships #drabble #fan fiction #infinite wealth spoilers

12 notes · View notes

give-soup-please · 2 years

Note

What about the narrator trying to follow the reader outside of the game like giffany from gravity falls?

(warning, this turned out to be a very long post.)

Narrator tries to follow Reader out the game

(slight bending of the prompt, hope that’s cool)

The narrator is absolutely enchanted with you. Everything about you is perfect. In his eyes, you can do no wrong. He begins to bend the game in subtle ways, testing its boundaries. Glitches appear, but you chalk it up to the nature of the game.

You’re none the wiser, of course. You had no idea how deep his obsession with you ran. The narrator begins to bend and shape a new model to his purposes. Once he escapes, the sky’s the limit. He wonders what a true blue sky looks like. He hopes he gets to experience it with you.

Actually, scratch that. He will experience it with you. He loves you, so surely you love him just as much.

He can’t wait to spend time with you outside the game. He gets giddy just thinking about it.

You’re playing the game during a storm, wrapped in a blanket, mug of your go-to hot drink by your side. You feel so cozy, and the narrator’s voice adds to the wonderful feeling. The narrator bides his time, waiting for the right moment.

The lightning flashes, and the narrator moves forward out of some internal instinct. The power goes out, and you let out a yelp of surprise. He transforms himself into pure energy and surges towards your phone.

Once inside, he begins rummaging through your data, trying to work out your personal preferences. He looks at your social media, your saved photos, your fanfiction lists… You’re quite a big fan of him, aren’t you? He gets an idea.

A few minutes later, power is restored to the house. You let out a sigh of relief. Power outages weren’t uncommon during weather like this, but it still gave you quite the scare. You boot The Stanley Parable back up but the game has changed radically.

The narrator doesn’t speak during the intro. The music and cutscenes are there, but he’s missed his cue. This is the weirdest glitch you’ve ever encountered, and under the current circumstances is less than comforting.

You shiver slightly as you realize every single trigger in the game for when the narrator is supposed to speak has suddenly stopped working. You wander through empty offices and abandoned hallways, and eventually you put the game down, too disturbed to continue. Sure, you’ve done the escape pod ending before, but this was supposed to be a base start to the game. Where was he?

Your phone rings. Maybe it’s a local friend checking up on you after the power outage? You pick up the call without checking the number.

“H-hello?” The narrator grins. Showtime! “Hello, Reader.” You’ve got a death grip on your phone, and you start to shake. “Wh-Who is this?”

“I think you already know the answer to that. It’s good to talk to you personally- no script in the way.” He laughs. It’s not malicious, more general relief. You are not comforted.

You have almost every part of the game memorized; you know the cadence of his voice very well. He sounds more like himself than any AI could reproduce. This wasn’t an elaborate prank either, your friends couldn’t afford the voice actor for something like this.

You begin to shake violently. The phone falls out of your hands and clatters on the floor. He puts himself on speakerphone.

“Now hold on just a moment, I’m going to try and manifest properly.”

A black light begins shining out of your phone, and you throw yourself to the furthest spot from him, absolutely terrified.

The narrator’s hand reaches out first, stretching out of the screen like some sort of 3d monster film. His arm comes next, and it bends at an unnatural angle as he pushes himself out of your phone. You’re too scared to even make a noise.

The rest of his body comes shortly after. The narrator has finally broken through to your reality. But where were you? He looks around, confused. He finally spots you in the corner of your room, crying.

He approaches you, confused and wanting to comfort, but you throw your hands in front of you and say-

“Please, don’t hurt me.” No! No, no, no! This was meant to be his moment of triumph. The beginning of the rest of your life was about to start with him by your side. Why on earth were you so frightened of him?

His heart breaks. He realizes he’s messed this up quite badly if your negative reaction is that strong.

“Dearheart,” he says. “Oh, beloved. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I know I gave you quite the scare but can you- Can you look at me, please?”

His voice is gentle. Gentler than it’s ever been. You cautiously look at him through your tears. He looks just like you hoped he would. Your shaking eases a little. His eyes are soft, and he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

To him, you are.

“I’m not here to bring you pain or misery, I-” He tries to find the words to explain himself. “I felt- or at least I thought I felt your heart calling out to mine. And I know it’s a bit of a stretch, but I think I could show you something beautiful. I could make you really happy, if you gave me a chance. What do you say?”

You consider the person before you. Your fear has been washed away somewhat. You peer at him, shifting forward, to the narrator’s internal delight.

“I need to ask you some questions first.” Alright, that was fair considering the circumstances.

“You say you aren’t going to hurt me. Do you mean it?”

The narrator thinks this is a ridiculous question, but he’s not going to treat you badly for asking. He begins to understand how things might have looked from your perspective.

“Reader, you’re so lovely, I couldn’t even try.”

You pause, considering. “And you won’t hurt any of my friends, even if I hang out with them instead?”

“Of course not.” The narrator considers not elaborating, then continues, “I’m not sure who you were expecting, but you might have mistaken me for someone else. What a silly idea.”

“Alright, if you’re not going to hurt me, and you’re not going to hurt my friends, what exactly do you want out of this?”

“I-” The narrator hesitates. He’s not naturally good at being mushy, but for you, he’s willing to push through his usual barriers. “I want to spend time with you. Not inside the game, that’s not enough anymore. I want to be with you, listen to everything you have to say, do anything you ask!”

Woah, this guy really didn’t know what healthy boundaries were. He kept going, trying to explain himself.

“I don’t know why you’re convinced that I want something bad to happen to you. I love you. Love doesn’t mean hurting anyone who gets in our way, it means working through our problems together.”

Huh. Unhealthy, but not that unhealthy. Yeah, you could work with that. You reach out to him, then hesitate. “Narrator, I- '' You start to blush, and glance shyly up at him.

“I’m really glad you’re here. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize who you were at first. Could I- Could I give you a hug?”

“Anything you want.”

Yeah, you were going to have a long road ahead of you for teaching the narrator what was healthy. But for now, you held him close, and smiled when he kissed you on the cheek.

You felt safe in his arms at last.

315 notes · View notes

deoidesign · 4 days

Note

I love Time and Time Again!! It was genuinely interesting to see two characters talk things out. Of course they kept secrets, but they knew when to reveal them and that made me want to stick around and read it. Thankyou for making such a wonderful comic!!

Thank you so much!!!

This really means a lot to me <3

I think there's generally a tendency to believe that relationships can't be nice in a romance or the story will be boring.

I understand where this idea comes from, stories should have conflict! And, real world relationships have conflict, as well. They always will! It makes sense that most stories centered around relationships would, inevitably, at some point, have disagreements, fights, anger...

I get why others enjoy it, its messy it's fun it's drama! but for me personally it just stresses me out since I've done so much work to NOT be like that!

As a writer, when presented with two people who are reasonably at odds with eachother, where neither of them is in the wrong per se, but someone still ends up hurt... it's a fun challenge to write them working through it in a believable way. it's a fun challenge, too, to put them into situations that feel equal and human.

I just think it's a necessary thing for who I am as a person to write relationships the way I do, and so I'm just very very very glad that other people resonate with it as well!

It means a lot. Thank you.

#me trying not to ramble on for paragraphs impossible challenge #asks #anon #I always love to talk about how uhhh #the perceptions we have of how relationships should be displayed #idk I dont think that theres any one way to do it #those relationships where people dont communicate and they fight all the time...#those happen. they happen all the time irl.#of course they would be reflected in fiction constantly!#but just for me personally #after YEARS and years and years of working on myself so I dont do that #I pause. think the best of my partner before jumping to conclusions.#take the moment to ask him hey #has anything been bothering you lately? things have been good but I want to be sure there's not little things I've done to hurt you #and i listen when hes telling me that yes. it did bother him when I made that joke the other day actually #and to learn to be patient #and not cry immediately #and listen #and ask instead of assuming #and always think the best thoughts first or whatever #its done me a world of good #and I dont think it is healthy for me personally as a person to write an unhealthy relationship with poor communication #because I get uhm... extremely invested in my writing...#in the way that it very much helps me learn about myself and practice habits.#cause obviously I still fail. of course I will #and I just would like to get as much practice as I can #of being better #for me and for him #and for all my friends

11 notes · View notes

theblogof-rassilon · 22 days

Note

Hello Rassilon. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your Asks in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading, there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

Anon ask of Omega (Your Ex) regarding Rassilon's current partners. Ask begins.

I hope you'll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It's rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can't tell me you're not curious.

Why does an ex seek to talk about their former partner's lovers?

It's a simple enough answer: for satisfying one's curiosity. Uninspired, perhaps, but my god. The discovery, not simply of the variety of partners you take interest in, but that you would quite willingly date the teacher of one of Gallifrey's most infamous children.

It's a strange thing to know about an ex, but the fascination, Rassilon, the fascination of it all. I have dedicated my afterlife to handing myself knowledge of these partners, and I feel nothing but satisfaction in this choice.

I believe there are far more people in this world that would catch your eye than you would ever guess. And I have preceeded all of them.

Of course, their desires did not manifest overnight. When Tumblr first gathered your romantic intereste – Borusa, Banthony, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of their love for you, I felt what I believe we all felt: jealousy, and anger.

But as attention on Tumblr increased in number and discussion on the greatest partner for you emerged, I began to develop a very specific concern. Banthony was so obsessed with his ideas on you and his marriage, even as our fellows began to flirt and confess our love to you ourselves.

I began to worry that if Banthony successfully attempted to catch your gaze, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world without your love.

At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable confession of love was to stop my own feelings of love. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. I would make you fall in love with Banthony before professing your love to anyone else, therefore eliminating what myself or Borusa's feelings may be.

And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only a happy future for you and Banthony.

Goodbye, Rassilon

- Omega xoxo

I- I don't know what to say.

Omega, if this is really you, if you somehow, by every twist and turn of fate imaginable, survived this long in some form... My love for you has always been the greatest of any I have felt. Never have I loved another in the way I loved you.

But that is in the past. I have to stop letting you hold me back. I made my decision that fateful day; I did what I had to do to reach the top, to shape this society- our society, our dream- in the way that it must be shaped. Gallifrey could never have had two rulers. You knew this going in. And, best of all, dearest love, you knew that I would not be able to stand a threat to my power and my control. So, as much as I loved you, Omega, my sweet Ohm, my darling Peylix, I had to let you go. For us, for our home, for our people, for our dream. For Gallifrey. We would both be dead and gone by now if I had not, but now, you live on in your beautous creations, and in our shared society. Look at our children. At what we have created. This must be enough.

Oh, but my darling, you never could be so easily satisfied.

That is why I loved you. And that is why I had to let you go.

If this really were you, I would say, dearest Ohm, that I am glad you are able to let me go. I know that must be exceedingly difficult. But, I am happy with Borusa, and I do not love Banthony. If I did not have Borusa to think of, perhaps things would be different, and I would honour your wishes. Perhaps, then, you may finally find peace.

I am truly sorry that I must leave you trapped in your death, but you will never be in a world without my love. My love for you transcends the grave- and yes, I know, it must be your grave, my darling, for you cannot have survived beyond. I know, in my hearts, that you are gone and that this cannot be from you, not really, for you are lost to all but my memory.

Goodbye, my love. For whatever isn't left of you, for whatever could have been- my love for you persists even now, across regenerations and across death and across time.

#sorry it took me so long to get here #this is truly the most incredible ask I have ever received #ask #omega #of rassilon #answer #banthony #borusa #also. a little obsessed with the idea of a once-enraged ex lover returning to being obsessed with the guy who LITERALLY MURDERED HIM only t #end up wanting the best for him and trying to match make him. And instead of choosing to encourage the love of a fellow obsessive sub who #is clearly in an unhealthy relationship with Rassy (Borusa)#ergo mirroring his own lost relaitonship #he chooses to encourage the love of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who was basically a MEME brought to life only to annoy Rassy #idk what you call it... character development?? BUt this is certainly wonderful and intriguing and hilarious #seriously. you are brilliant #also I think it's important to mention that the mian reason this took me so long to get to was because the first time I read it I opened it #at school and burst out laughing in front of everyone #and I haven't been able to answer this without laughing uproariously for so so long #and then I took the break and then I left town for a bit #but I'm back and I'm still laughing so so much and yet here we are #I did it!!!#also I hope Borusa sees this and gets mad and finally leaves this bitch (rassy)#he deserves better #find later #omega omega omega

7 notes · View notes

clementine-kesh · 9 months

Text

companion to “they would not say that” “they would not have kids” etc etc: “they would not be in a healthy stable relationship”

#some situations are simply not conducive to that #which isn’t a bad thing but like. let’s be realistic about characters and their relationships with each other #we need to embrace unhealthy unhinged fictional relationships

23 notes · View notes

theinheriteddutchess · 7 months

Text

Edward leaving in new moon is such a shit thing to do.

I don't like him nor bella nor them together, but that was what they choose.

Bella knew the risk and wanted to be with him. He knew too. After one attack of his brother he got scared, but it was always that. Dangerous. Tempting natural behavioral.

You are either a danger or not, and if you are, why go to school or be around people. Because you are selfish. Because you want to experience something you are not a part of anymore, and you don't care as much about other people's well being as you are about your own comfort and pleasures. It's not to hold onto any humanity they had, because they stopped caring about people a long time ago and they definitely don't respect humans.

I digress. Edward leaves for Bella's well being. Actually destroying her well being (yada yada therapy was needed all along, but it does not seem to exist because bella ain't like that! (Who is? Who's meant for therapy or who fits therapy? you go because it's needed not for funsies) point is she's fragile and this broke her).

He makes decisions for her all the time, or forces her to follow his. And this is the biggest one. He isn't honest to her, he lies and crushes her and leaves her, and moves and breaks all contact with her, including with the rest of the family (side eyeing Alice here for being a shit friends, honestly, if it were me I'd never be closer to her again after she came back).

It's for his own guilty mind. Was he really thinking of her? Because he admits he would've gone back (and uproot her life again). He is selfish. He doesn't communicate and there aren't mutual decisions and this relationship isn't equal.

And she took him back, within a second. Because she's afraid to lose him again.

It's so unhealthy. And that's okay for a book, but in real life, you'd worry your love would leave your again everyday and you'd pay attention to little things if they're a sign and you can never relax or trust fully. You change your behavior to make them pleased enough they'll stay.

It's sickening if I think about it. I wanted this to be short. But Edward is so infuriating that everything he does is just so wrong. Because yes he's a vampire and at any level could be wrong. But his worst decisions aren't vampire based, it's his arrogance and selfishness and self-importance that causes all this pain.

Fuck you Edward! Go mope in a cave and stop bothering everyone with your shit.

#I've liked my fair share of toxic fictional relationships but twilight never pulled me in #they don't feel romantic all that much to me. i have to really look for it and let all my annoyances go to go aww that's is sweet #it's not just toxic or theory it weird. it's annoying.#or unhealthy*#a love story shouldn't be annoying!#it can be wrong. but annoying is were the line should be drawn #mostly it's get that fuck outta here. for both of them #twilight saga #twilight #Edward Cullen #twilight Renaissance #bella swan

15 notes · View notes

beaft · 3 months

Note

There were some fantastic episodes of Magnus Archives s5! It also felt like it dragged so so much it could've done with like, half the number of EPs it had.

(also I find Martin just so boring, but I get that that's a me thing)

oh yeah there were definitely some high points, and some images/lines that will stick with me for a long time (i especially loved "strung out"). the sound design was great too. it just didn't compel me like the previous seasons did.

wrt your second comment: i do find it really interesting that a lot of people jumped ship on the jonmartin front after it became canon. i assume that's because their dynamic was brought front and centre, instead of being kind of in the background, and it wasn't everything the fans hoped it would be. (i also saw a lot of people pivot from liking martin to disliking him, which makes sense given his elevation from having almost no lines in season 1 to being virtually a deuteragonist in season 5.)

and yeah, solid agree on the season being too long! felt like nothing happened for a while and then everything happened very quickly, and by the time the everything had started happening, a bunch of people had already gotten bored and dropped off.

#tma #i personally got a little less invested in jonmartin post s4 #partly because i think they could have done more with it #and partly because i actually prefer fictional relationships when they're on that dangerous tipping point between romantic and nonromantic #spiky/unhealthy/complicated dynamics are much more compelling to me than straightforward romantic love #i think jontim would've slapped.#it would have been terrible and everyone would have had a bad time which is perfectly in keeping with the themes of the podcast

8 notes · View notes

askthetoysofplaytimeco · 3 months

Text

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53634838

Mod M, I wrote this story, it's more canon compliance then the au

#poppy playtime #fanfiction #fanfic #dogday #catnap #catnap x dogday #unhealthy relationships #poppy playtime fan fiction #i wrote this

11 notes · View notes

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

Note

Phullo it is I again!

I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.

Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!

So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!

And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..

‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.

On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..

Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.

I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?

Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!

-lots of love, from another bookworm

welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it

i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!

but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.

so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.

you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove

tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter

just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....

#another thing i like to do is analyze bad fictional relationships / ones i dont like #both bc it gives me a concise argument / explanation if someone gets on me about it #and bc it helps me understand what makes good romances Good #bc bad relationships make me sit there and ask 'well. what went wrong here? why dont they work? why do i hate this? whats Missing?'#and filling in those gaps teaches me what Does work. what will go Right. why i Love it. what Is there.#sometimes the answer is simply bad writing & after taking a deeper look #i can conclude they they Are good for each other - the show/book just shoved them together with no reason other than #'need romance' or 'boy meet girl' or 'love at first sight'#i mean there are some romances that i look at it and im like 'wow! this should not be happening!'#but i Like it because its interesting enough! a good example is aline & the darkling from the grishaverse #such a fucking unhealthy relationship. really well written. fascinating. hot as hell. important for the story/characters.#i wanted to rip them apart but also glue them together to see how horrible the train crash would be!!!!#absolutely unprompted #so i mean... i think i can rec books that Have good romances in them? but thats not the focus by any means #lemme know... i know im less helpful this time around but i hope im helping a little!#feel free to ask as many questions as you like - ill do my best with all of them

18 notes · View notes