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#twice blurb
jinlias · 10 months
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a/n: how could i post a month of blurbs and no angst? sike u thought bitch.
you can tell the exact moment she breaks. you’ve been trying to tell her you’ve noticed it all, but you always missed her.
“hey, wheres mina?” the last group arrives at the dorm, but instead of four, it’s only sana, jihyo and momo.
“practicing” momo responds absentmindedly, her mind completely on the cold noodles they picked up on the way.
“again?” jihyo shares your concern, both your eyes speaking for themselves. she almost stops eating to come with you, but you reassure her it’s better you go alone.
if this wasn’t your partner’s breaking point, it was yours.
you couldn’t believe you were, but in your head, silently, you were weighing out whether this or her anxiety break had been worse.
from a while back, you noticed mina had been spending way too much time practicing than normal, dancing, singing, all of the above. for some reason, her diet was much stricter than yours or the others and her scheduled was way more packed all of the sudden.
come to think of it, you never heard her say no anymore.
“mina, elle wants you for their july-“ “yes”
“after the shoot, do you think you can take a couple of picture at the grand opening-“ “sure”
“do you have any free time slots tomorrow” “i’ll make the time”
but she wasn’t enthusiastic about it either. and trust, the sex was there and so were the loving kisses and whispers, it’s just, her eyes, mina isn’t there anymore.
“okay. i hear you” jihyo rubbed your back up and down as she listened the first time. you felt so bad you had woken her up in the middle of the night to complain, but more than your leader she was your best friend, if anything she could possibly get through mina. “not me, i can try, but there’s no way she’ll hear me out before you”
“she’s killing herself” jihyo wipes your tears and takes a deep breath to hold some of her own.
“i know it’s hard to think about but y/n- i need you to break her-” the entire time the words came from her mouth, she can see the denial in your eyes and how the pout on your lips deepened.
that was then, now, you’re angry.
“oh, this again. awesome, i’m kind of rusty myself” you drop your gym bag on the floor and begin to tie your hair as you get in position.
you can’t lie and say you willingly got out of bed at almost ten at night to practice. you willingly got out of bed this late because of her. one more night feeling the bed deepen with her body at some much late hour than you tried going to sleep was going to drive you off a cliff.
“y/n? what are you doing here baby?” your eyes press shut and you turn your head to the side when she pauses the music, arms crossed as a tactic to not let her in this time.
“what are you doing here mina?” you never did what jihyo asked, it hurt you to hurt her, but now you had to, because you love her, and you want her to love herself again too.
“i’m.. rehearsing” she replies as if it were obvious.
“i can see that, but why? do you know what time it is?”
“no?”
“it’s late, if we don’t go home we’re going to have trouble waking up tomorrow” her chest stings at all the ‘we’s, and you can see her now usual facade start to lessen. she’s heard you before, she just never listened.
“go home. i’ll be there soon” she tries to shake all the red blaring sirens telling her she’s tired, that you’re right and that she should go home with you, try to sleep more than four hours tonight.
“i’m not going anywhere without you mina” your hands fall at your sides and you begin to walk towards her, stopping only a couple of steps apart. “you can’t tell me you don’t know what you’re doing”
“i’m just practicing babe, i’ll be there soon. i promise”
“you’ve broken a lot of promises lately, you know that right?” you watch her swallow, turn around to fidget with something at the radio station instead of looking at you. “if you know exactly what i’m talking about, why tip toe?”
“i don’t know y/n” her voice raises higher than the usual whisper, and you don’t know whether to be upset at her or put yourself in her shoes. “it’s working. i’ll be home soon”
“what’s working?”
“i said-“
“yeah, you said you’ll be home soon. but you’ve told me that the last three nights and it wasn’t true. what’s working?”
“y/n- i-“
“mina, this is not working. nothing is working. im worried about you all the time and you’re not even letting me in. either we go home and talk about proper help or i’ll be joining you.”
“baby. it doesn’t work like that” she’s scared, you can see that much now, she’s finally allowing herself to feel rather than bottle it up and swallow it down with her usual work ethic.
“all these late practices, the crazy diets. cramped schedule? count me in, i’ll do it all if that’s what it takes for you to stop” she looks like she’s been caught, biting her lips and looking down in shame. and you let yourself calm down, soften even as you walk towards her, closer until you’re asking for her hands. “i’m worried mina. let me help you”
“you don’t understand” a single tear falls on your hands, now clasped together with hers as she stares at them.
“then tell me. i’ll listen. if you’re scared, i’m here. mina. i love you, i’m done letting you go through this alone” you squeeze her hands, hoping for some sort of emotion, thankfully she squeezes yours back.
“i don’t want the girls to know” she sniffles, watching you nod and swallow a lump in your throat, hoping no tears came out, because you’ve cried enough. you needed to be there like mina had been for you when you needed, loving you through all your hardships.
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stevebabey · 1 year
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Eddie loves to complain.
It’s a known fact to Eddie, to Wayne, to every single sorry son-of-a-bitch who winds up being friends with him, that Eddie loves to complain. Half the time he opens his mouth, it’s to let an absurd about of bitching fall out of it. Trailer trash with a trash mouth, is what he calls himself sometimes, always with a wry grin.
Even more so, Eddie loves to complain about how Steve Harrington seems to get everything he wants in life.
He gets the big house at the end of the block, the spot of captain of the basketball team (not that that’s a position Eddie would ever gun for), the stupid title of ‘King Steve’ that let him soar through high school, untouched.
Missing homework? Well, King Steve Harrington just gets a gentle reprimand, a reminder to make homework a priority next time. Whereas, Mr. McKay had nearly popped his eyeball out in stress when chewing Eddie out for his missing homework in the very same week.
Double fucking standards. He’s pretty sure he’s seen Steve get free shakes down at Harper’s Diner which made Eddie scoff— as if the likes of Steve Harrington can’t pay for his own shakes.
So, yeah, to Eddie? Steve Harrington gets everything he wants.
It becomes so much of a habit — bitching and blaming King Steve for every other minuscule inconvenience as well — that even when Eddie has the week from hell and his entire worldview is shifted, quite literally, upside down, he still complains about Steve.
Because, damn it, even at all this, Steve is better than Eddie is.
Ignoring the fact it’s definitely not Steve’s first rodeo, Eddie can’t help but keep the bite in his tone. It feels a bit too humiliating, being kept bed-ridden in Steve’s empty mansion due to wounds that need tending to every day. Hidden from angry mobs because he’s that unlikable in this town.
Worse, is that even though Steve got a bite taken out of him too, he seems just fucking peachy compared to Eddie.
Pathetic Eddie who can’t even change his own bandages yet. Steve’s more gentle than Eddie probably deserves for all his bitching at him.
Because, of course he bitches. Eddie can’t help it; some defence mechanism from within that isn’t sure how to handle the fact Steve is, like actually genuinely, a decent person. It’s worse when Steve waves it off. Shrugs off his pointy comments, might make a comment about being ‘someone’s grouchy and tired’ but is still so fucking nice.
Until the one day he doesn’t shrug off the comment— this time when Eddie makes a complaint, whinging and grumbling about can’t believe I’m stuck with Steve Harrington playing nurse, Steve narrows his eyes. Then he sighs.
“What’s your problem with me, man?” Steve asks, not unkind, just probing. He’s still winding one of the bandages around Eddie’s torso, the latter propped against the bathroom sink.
Fuck, this bathrooms massive. It’s bigger than Eddie’s entire room at the trailer. He hates it for that. He hates that he’s had more gentle touches in this bathroom in the weeks living here, with Steve, than he had in his whole 20 years since— well, since his mama died really. He tries not to think about that much.
Eddie really glad he asked; he thinks he’s had this whole speech prepped since sophomore year and Steve’s stupidly fluffy hair and smarmy grin walked through Hawkins High’s front doors. Charmed his way to top of the school with his stupid perfect life.
But, well, not all of that is true anymore. Eddie knows there’s quite a few holes in his original fantasised idea of what the perfect life of Steve Harrington looks like. Doesn’t matter, Eddie’s still got a bone to pick. He’s stubborn that way.
“What’s my problem? Did you meet yourself in high school?”
Steve winces a bit at that, his eyes ducking away but his hands keep moving, winding the gauze slowly and carefully. He doesn’t say anything, thinking, but Eddie rolls on regardless.
“Dude, you get— you have everything. You have the house, the popularity- shit, half the population of the school had the hots for you.” He doesn’t mention that he was at one point part of that population. Might still be if Steve keeps being so nice to him. Damn, he’s easy.
His tone as he talks tells a completely different story though, all annoyed and dramatic. “I once saw Miss O’Donnell wave off a failed test just cos. Just cos you were you! That’s the same fucking test that failed me the first time round.”
Eddie waves his hand around, on a roll now; he’s had plenty of practice with bitching about the likes of how Steve Harrington has it all.
“I know all this shit is, well, not fuckin’ ideal but even then! It’s like, of course, you’ll roll out of this with some badass scars that the chicks will dig.”
Steve is still listening intently, Eddie can tell because his eyes flick up to meet his every couple of seconds. His hands keep working.
Eddie huffs and winces at the pain that radiates up and down his side. “If you had these scars,” he gestures up and down. His side is undeniably worse than Steve’s own, they both know. “It would just be badass. Survivor shit, yanno? On me, it’s just, like, shitty mutilation.”
The sentence hangs in the air and Eddie feels his embarrassment creep up by how quickly that turned into a pity-fest, which absolutely not the point. The point is that Steve gets it all and Eddie gets nothing — and that’s how it’s always been.
Steve says quiet for a bit thinking as he ties off the end of Eddie’s bandage. He has to pull it tight and Eddie winces again, another flush on pain. Even if it’s not as embarrassing as it had been in the beginning, Steve taking care of these wounds for him, Eddie still hates it.
“So, that’s your problem with me? You think I get everything I want?” Steve asks plainly, pulling his hands back and folding them across his chest. Eddie hates how handsome he looks doing it. Then hates himself for noticing it.
“In a manner of words, yes.”
Steve uncrosses his arms and suddenly leans forward, planting his hands on either side of Eddie’s hips on the bathroom counter. He leans into his space and Eddie has to force himself not to pull back instinctively. Steve’s face is very close to his.
“And... if I want you?” Steve asks, voice dipping quieter in a way that makes Eddie’s stomach tighten. He represses a shudder and only after, do the words dawn on him; there’s no hiding the way he gets a little wide-eyed and fuck, he just looked at Steve’s lips. Wait, what? Eddie’s heart is thudding like a trapped rabbit’s, wild and quick.
Steve’s stare is intense, eyes a little darker than usual. He looks at Eddie and just for a moment, his gaze drops to his lips. Steve licks his own, his knuckles on the counter growing whiter as he grips it tighter and steels his nerve.
“Do I still get everything I want?”
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leviscolwill · 6 months
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rúben blurb — #1
you can all thank dilara for rotting my brain with dad!ruben thoughts, also i think this singlehandedly cured my parents issues
you hated loosing your patience with your daughter, but tatiana drawing on her bedroom wall was your last straw after a long day of terrible news. you always felt awful for screaming at her, especially after the big brown eyes she got from her father welled up with tears.
you let her stay with rúben while you tried to distract yourself with grocery shopping. when you opened your front door still guilty about the whole screaming fit, your house was nothing like when you left it. it was now filled with laughter and a divine smell was luring you to the kitchen. but before you could take a step inside and find out the object of your craving, rúben's tall figure blocked the entry.
“no, no. you take a seat, i have a special chef cooking something for you.” he added a little wink, a silent ‘don't worry, i got this’. you sat down waiting for your little surprise, that revealed itself soon enough, in the shape of a lovely 6 year old girl covered in flour, her tiny hands full of a big plate of pancakes.
“i'm sorry mommy, i didn't want to make you mad.” her little voice, made you forget about every other trivial matters of today. you immediately took tati on your lap, and stroked her hair.
“i wasn't mad at you meu anjo (my angel), mommy just had a bad day. i shouldn't have screamed at you, i'm sorry tati.” you covered your daughter's face and hair of little kisses when rúben joined you two and placed a kiss on both your heads, before taking a seat next to you.
“did you cook these by yourself baby?” you asked to your daughter pointing at the perfect pancakes, she laughed a bit and shook her head.
“no daddy helped me, but i cracked the eggs myself!”
“did you now? i'm so proud of you my little chef, you might have to replace daddy soon.” you knew tatiana was over the moon with the little tasks that were handed to her, and you took the opportunity to tease your husband as well.
his large, flour covered, hand, squeezed your cheeks together, “i'll always be my girls' chef, but i can take a little rat under my hat.”
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lesbolieeh · 10 months
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Margarita (m)
Inexperienced!Subby!Jihyo ✦ Experienced!Fem!Reader
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WC—4.7 ✦ k
WARNING—sex w/ a woman for the first time ✦ very intimate not-kinky sex ✦ praising ✦ body worship ✦ oral (giving, receiving) ✦ face-sitting (receiving) ✦ 69 ✦ fingering (giving, receiving) ✦ multiple orgasms (giving) ✦ nipple play ✦ hickeys (giving, receiving) ✦ pet names (baby, babe) ✦ brief dirty talk ✦ breath play & masturbation if you squint ✦ crying ✦ mentions of alcohol consumption
THEMES—nsfw ✦ first girl crush au ✦ summer love ✦ friends to ...? ✦ a bit angsty at times
NOW PLAYING—Mystery of Love ✦ Sufjan Stevens
A/N. this was the first time I tried writing a smut that didn't have any clear power dynamics and I rly liked writing it! I don't think all smut needs to have a dom x sub. So to those of you requesting smut, don't feel pressured to pick "kinky" stuff like spanking, bondage, "mommy", choking etc because oral, 69, fingering, hickeys, body worship, praising etc can be picked as "kinks" too — besides I'm a smut writer I can't judge u lmaooo
M.LISTS—twice ✦ latest updates ✦ read on wp
All rights reserved © lesbolieeh
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"I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier," you heard Jihyo's voice from beside you. You two were sitting on a bench in the park you two had first hung out. Dahyun, your best friend, and you had been sitting at a bar and Jihyo had been there too — except with the company of a tall dude. She had been too distracted looking at him and you had been too distracted laughing at one of your comedian bestie's jokes, which resulted in Jihyo walking into you, spilling both of your drinks in the process. Like the decent people you both were, you apologized and even proposed repaying each other and smiled when you realized that you both had ordered margaritas.
So you drank margaritas all night, forgetting about then saying bye to Dahyun and that guy, until the bar closed and you decided to buy this one special large sized margarita to share at the park not too far away. By the end of the laugh-filled night (which quickly turned into morning), you had a feeling that you'd see each other a lot more afterwards. And you were right. Ever since that sunrise told you to part ways and leave one big margarita glass by the bar's door, you had made it a tradition to buy one every Friday to share as you chat and giggle on the same bench at the same park under the moonlight until another sunrise would tell you it's time to go.
As you had gotten to know each other, you found out the guy at the bar was her boyfriend Daniel, and she found out you were going to leave Korea at the end of the summer. After that, you'd made a promise you'd try to spend as much time together as possible over the sweet summer before you'd fly away.
"Are you drunk?" you asked, shaking your head at her words.
One day she'd called you over to her place, crying on the phone. Her then-boyfriend had broken up with her, claiming she didn't show him love. But the part that shocked you was that she confessed he was right. So why had she been crying? A guy she didn't have feelings for broke up with her...that wasn't a bad thing, right?
"No."
"I saw a margarita on your story before you got here. You know I'm very familiar with JYP bar."
"It was margarita, yes, but it was alcohol-free."
"Oh."
"I know you're going away next week but I needed to tell you before I lost the chance to say it."
"Damn."
"I know. I'm fucking sorry but I've never had feelings for a woman before. Shit, I didn't even know I was into women but it explains why I never had strong feelings for any of my exes."
She looked down at your hand, feeling tears building up in her eyes. Fuck. Not only had she confessed to you but you didn't seem to reciprocate. Fuck. Had she ruined the last week with you?
"I like you too."
"W-What..." she stuttered, beginning to smile for the first time tonight.
You put your hand on hers, intertwining your fingers, "Let's make the best out of this last week we have together."
She intertwined your fingers in return, looking at them and smiling big. "Yes."
As to not waste time, you took a cab to her place immediately. Typical queer stereotype to move on to sex so damn fucking fast. Well, typically queer people in a conservative country have a harder time confessing to each other in fear of rejection and possible hate crime, so when you finally muster up courage and get accepted, you often feel the need to move quickly to make up for all the time you could've but didn't spend together. And you two only had a week left together, might as well fuck every day since you hadn't done that even once over the whole damn fucking summer. What a fucking waste to overthink and overanalyze possible outcomes of a confession to the point that you delay the confession until one week before one of you has to leave the country. So fucking typical that two women who like each other don't say shit because they don't want to make the other person uncomfortable or ruin the perfect fucking connection they have with one another. Fuck.
Soon as you stepped foot into your apartment, you locked the door and captured her lips with yours. It was the first kiss she'd ever shared with a woman and she wanted to melt into you and stay lips to lips forever. So this was how a kiss should feel? All this time she had thought she was weird for not liking kissing or foreplay but now she understood what the problem was: she had never genuinely liked any of her previous partners. You took a few steps, not letting go of her lips, until Jihyo's back met the wall. She smiled with a blush. She had never smiled into a kiss before. But she felt...happy? Maybe just content? Or maybe she just felt good that she's doing shit people her age should be doing: making out with people they find attractive? Eh, maybe she was just exaggerating because this was a new experience for her? (No, her happiness was not an exaggeration.)
Then you put your hands on her cheeks gently. Gently, as in to feel her softness, feel her skin, feel her smile on your hands. In the past, her exes had put their hands on her face to keep her from breaking the kiss or to assert dominance. Damn. These fuckers had no idea what they were doing. But you... You made her smile! You made her blush. You made her feel comfortable and beautiful.
After a while you broke the kiss, Jihyo's lips following yours in the air, which made her a bit embarrassed until you said "Shall we continue?" with a soft voice that made her feel safe and not judged. Jihyo nodded, giggling when you held your hands out for her to carry her bridal style. Height was actually an insecurity of hers but this action made her feel small in a good way, in a way that made her feel beautiful actually. Then she began blushing again, realizing you were carrying her to your bedroom, a place you'd only ever hung out at to talk, drink something that wasn't margarita or do the most random shit you'd think of when you were bored at night after a long day of work.
But now this casual, 'friend' place would be where you were going to have sex. It made her smile. Oh how many times she'd imagined you two fucking and cuddling on this very bed. You weren't just walking into the bedroom, you were carrying her as if she were your bride. Holy shit. As soon as you were inside you put her down on the bed and sat down next to her.
"I think we should talk about preferences and boundaries before we continue," you said because communication is key (lmao). "I can start," you knew she'd most likely be too embarrassed to tell everything if she went first, "My main thing is I really like oral and fingering and I usually cum from clit stimulation rather than penetration. I tend to take more initiative during sex, but I am open to you doing that if you'd like. Actually there doesn't need to be any power roles in sex we can just have fun either way. Also I really like talking during sex. Hmm... I prefer not doing any anal stuff on me, if you would like me to do that on you I'm OK with that. I do own a toy collection at home so if you have any vibrators I'm OK with using that too." During your little speech Jihyo was smiling and trying not to blush, never hearing this type of conversation before (you don't hear the word 'sex' much in Korea). "I also would like to talk...during, hum, sex," she felt pressure with what to say, scared you would forever judge her based on the next words that would come out her mouth. You noticed she avoided eye contact, seeming nervous. "Jihyo, I'm no angel, you know. As long as you're not into rape I will not judge your preferences or boundaries," you held her hand, squeezing it lightly. She took a breath, bit more relaxed at the physical touch, "Mm, I like intimacy, like eye contact and such. Maybe hugging each other? I like both clit stimulation and penetration. I've never done this with a girl before so I would be more comfortable if you lead more I think." Her ears were red as were her cheeks. You brought her small hand to your face and kissed the back of it, which didn't help with her blush but at least it made her feel cared for (and wet).
You opened her hand and kissed each finger before putting her hand against your cheek to lean on. Jihyo put her other hand on your other cheek, leaning in to kiss you, smiling against each other. Kissing her felt like walking on clouds. Fluffy, pastel colored clouds. You continued kissing her, wanting to make sure she was wet and excited before you did anything to her (the last thing you wanted was to make her fake orgasm) and she only appreciated the longer fore play.
"May I?" you asked between kisses, pulling lightly on the bottom of her shirt to which she nodded still smiling. Maybe the margarita she had earlier wasn't alcohol-free since she was smiling so damn much. She almost felt embarrassed at her actions until you mirrored her expression and smiled too as you gave a few more kisses to her lips, reassuring her that smiling is never a bad action. She was so pretty. Her tan skin glowed like gold. Pulling her by her her thighs onto your lap so she was taller (lol), you had better access to her collarbones and chest and started kissing her neck lightly and hugging her waist closer to you. Her heart was beating fast, never looking forward to sex this much before. For every kiss you placed on her neck and down to her shoulder, she felt wetter and wetter. You started teasing her tit under her bra, as your other hand went down her pants to her lower back, not yet going to her butt or underwear, all while you kept kissing her collarbones so gently. She put her hands on your hair and started pushing your head to the tit that wasn't getting any attention, too shy to actually say what she wants. You got the memo and started kissing the part of her boob that was exposed from the bra but it wasn't enough so Jihyo took off her bra completely, showing her breathtakingly beautiful boobs. You started kissing harder on her boob, ignoring the nipple for now to tease her. When you heard her gasping and whining you gained confidence and started sucking on her nipple and pinching the other, while unbuttoning her pants with one hand (which was hard but you managed after a few seconds thankfully).
She got off your lap and you helped her take off her tight pants, leaving her in her blue underwear before pulling her back on your lap. You kissed her on her lips, she smiled and took off your shirt, hoped you couldn't see her blush. She was a bit shy now, having never seen a woman's tits in a sexual context before. You giggled, making her pout, and you placed her hand on your boob. Wow. It was softer than she thought; she was so used to the softness of feeling her own boobs that when she touched your boobs she was amazed by the feeling. No wonder people love boobs so much! She brought her other hand to play with both your boobs, exploring and enjoying. You on the other hand, began to touch and grab her lush, thick thighs. After feeling all her curves and edges you moved one hand to her inner thigh and felt something wet. Jihyo was a bit embarrassed. She had gotten so wet it was dripping down the inside of her thighs. "Aw, so wet for me already, Baby?" you looked up at her with a genuine smile, proud. She nodded, trying not to look you in the eyes. "I love it." She nodded again, now going down to suck on your tits to avoid looking you in the eyes. Now it was your turn to make noise, Jihyo not going gentle. You looked down at her, "You look so pretty from this point of view." She looked up at you, her mouth still on your skin. "Thank you." You put some hair away from her face, then resting your hand on her cheek to move her to your other boob that hadn't felt any oral stimulation yet. Your fingertips ghosted over her back, making her shiver slightly, before resting on her butt, grabbing and playing with it. She moaned against your boob accidentally using her teeth a bit, you moaned too.
You started feeling under the fabric covering her intimate parts, but only under the edge to tease her. Jihyo was getting needy and impatient. She got off your lap to take off your pants, and before you knew it you were stood staring at each other in only underwear. You opened your arms for her and hugged her closely, just breathing in each others arms, kissing her shoulder or your collarbone randomly. She looked you in the eyes and felt regret; regret that she or you hadn't confessed earlier. You too. You had liked her since the beginning but you had been scared of rejection or ruining such a good friendship. But you had each other now and that was all that mattered. Better late than never, right? You held each others soft cheeks and almost communicated with your eyes, I never want this to end, and kissed each other. This time it was more desperate and with roaming hands all over each others bodies before you led her to the bed to lay down. This was the bed that you two had laid on to watch movies on Netflix and Disney+, play drinking games during the movie which resulted in at least two empty soju bottles next to the bed. Now this would be the bed you would fuck in. She was ready because she also remembered every time you would go to the bathroom and she would wait in bed and look at your butt as you walked away and question if she was into girls or just liked looking at your butt out of curiosity. And you remembered every time she would go to the bathroom or to the kitchen to grab us a snack, and you would have a pep talk with yourself about telling her about your little crush. And now you were here. In that same bed. Filled with memories. But now with you two almost naked. Her on her back and you sat between her legs.
You kissed her one more time on her lips before moving down, placing butterfly kisses all the way down her chest to her stomach and stopping right above her core. She looked at you, expecting you to remove her undies. You lowered the underwear, she was breathing louder, you stopped when her hip bone was exposed, kissed it, then let the fabric cover her again. Jihyo whined. You smiled against her skin, kissing down her leg and to her inner thigh, giving an experimental lick. "Please." The wetness between your legs was getting uncomfortable at this point and you wanted to just take off your panties and sit on her face but you had to suppress your intrusive thoughts and be slow and gentle since this was your first time together — it was also her first time ever with a woman — so you just pressed your thighs against each other for the slightest stimulation. "Please what, Baby?" you asked kissing her other inner thigh, grabbing both of them with your hands. "Ngh— Can you— Can you touch it?" You gave one more big kiss to her thigh before moving to her face, "Anything for you," you pecked her lips. She opened her legs wider as you went down to give you more space, you looked at her before going down and pulling down her panties, her wetness sticking to them. You threw them away to some corner in the room and put your face in front of her pussy. She held out her hand towards you and you smiled, grabbing it before putting small kisses on her lips, avoiding her clit and slit for now. Jihyo was gasping and blushing. You pushed your tongue lightly through her slit and up to her clit, she squeezed your hand. You started kissing on her slit and clit too, gently, worshipping her body. She whined. "Please, ____." You kissed her clit, you looked at her, "Please, what, Baby?" She felt too shy to say it so she just put her free hand on your hair and pushed your face in her pussy. You took the hint and began licking. She felt relieved to finally being stimulated more harshly like she had craved all this time, accidentally pulling your hair. Pulling your hair wasn't an issue but it was hurting a bit so you held her wrist to tell her. "Oh sorry, Babe, I was getting carried away," Jihyo apologised, now moving your hair away from your eyes. You smiled. Omg she called you "Babe"!! You were determined to make her cum with only your mouth at least once before you finger her. "I love your taste, Baby," you whispered before going back to licking her luscious pussy. She blushed. You pulled her thighs closer to you, wanting to feel her softness on your neck and shoulders. This made Jihyo blush more but also more confident. You held eye contact with each other, hands intertwined, your other hand playing with her boob and pinching her nipple. "You look really pretty from this point of view," she said with a smirk. You smiled, arching your back so she had an even prettier view. She gulped. Everything was getting dizzy. Her clit was being licked exactly how she liked it and you noticed so you kept that same pace. Her chest was getting red and hot. Her hand was sweaty. Her moans were stuck in her throat. Her breathing was irregular. Her view was breathtaking. She saw your hand reaching down between our legs, playing with yourself while eating Jihyo out. She pushed you closer to her pussy, thighs closing in on you, hand squeezing yours harder, head falling back, eyes closed, she saw white. You continued riding her orgasm out with your gentle tongue until she felt overstimulated and unclenched her thighs from you.
As she regained her breathing to normal, you crawled up to lay beside her and hug her, pulling her into your chest. She put her face in your neck, taking in your scent and warmth. You weren't sure how high her sex drive was or if she liked cumming multiple times since you forgot to ask during your sex discussion so you thought this was enough for your first time together. But then Jihyo did something. She sat up, pulled off your underwear, proud when she noticed the wet stain, threw the panties away. This night was not over yet. She kissed your cheek and then moved around until her face was above your pussy and her pussy was in front of your face. "Please, let me know if I'm doing alright or if I should do something else," was the last thing she said before she lowered her head to your pussy and began licking. "Fuck." You didn't realise how wet you had become until now when the smallest of touch from her tongue had you moaning. "Baby, go slow, please." She whined back in response, only giving you kitten licks and holding back from devouring the sweet taste of pussy for the first time. You began kissing her inner thighs, making her twitch a bit from sensitivity. "Can I eat your pussy again or do you need some time?" Jihyo blushed. How can you say such words so neutrally? Mhm, she nodded and moaned against your pussy, which sent vibrations against your clit. You pushed her pussy closer to your face and began kissing it again. Jihyo whined against your pussy, she loved this feeling of a little "foreplay" on the pussy before licking it hard. She noted that she should start off slow next time she gives you head.
You noticed that although you pushed her pussy towards you, she still kept it in the air, not sitting on your face. "Baby, you can sit on you face," you encouraged her and gave a big kiss to her clit. She finally sat down on your face and you began licking between her lips deeper and quicker. She couldn't help but keep moaning against your pussy, and the vibrations felt so good, making you moan on her too. You began moving your hands on her thighs up to her ass, keeping them there and just grabbing the fatness. She was feeling a bit jealous because you could touch her all you wanted while she had to hold herself up on her arms which was getting harder and harder. She let go of your clit, sat up on your chest, "Babe, can I be on the bottom?" You smiled at her, "Of course, Baby." She just plopped down on the bed with a smile, comfortable now that she didn't need to use her arm muscles. "You're too cute." "Thank you, ____." You flipped around and moved your pussy to her face, her eyes lightening up. Before you even sat down she grabbed your hips and pushed you down, impatient and needy to have the experience of a woman sitting on her face. You were more experienced in this and laid down comfortably, spreading her legs to eat her out too. Your pussies were prepared and didn't need any of the gentle kissing or kitten licks anymore, you opting to lick fast and deep between her folds, and her licking fast but gently on your clit in a steady pace. To Jihyo's surprise, you began grinding on her face, making her proud she was taking you there. Moaning and shaking, it was getting hard to focus on pleasuring each other.
So, you sat up on the bed, beside Jihyo. She was breathing heavily, confused, whining, "Why?" You kissed her forehead, "Come lay with me on the pillows." She followed you to the big pillows, you laid on the right side and Jihyo on the left side of the bed, the natural way to lay down just like every time you had watched movies as friends. You started kissing her, hands roaming on her boobs, back, butt and back of her thighs, pulling her left thigh on top of your hip — this gave you more access to her pussy so you began to tease your fingertips on her lower lips. She whined. You pushed your right leg up so she also had access to your pussy, and in a second her hand was playing with your folds, starting off slowly before inserting her fingers in you. You kept making out, savouring each others red, swollen lips and tastes on your tongues. She slid a finger between your lips to get your wetness so she could finger your clit better (she remembered you prefer clit stimulation more than penetration), making you moan into her mouth. Damn, it was her first time but she was so good. Who would've known she was ambidextrous? (She's both left handed and right handed) You put a finger inside her and she gasped, making you smile in revenge, since it slipped in so easily from being so wet you fit in another finger, moving them in and out at a moderate speed, not wanting to make her cum yet. "I could do this forever, Baby." Your words hurt Jihyo because you both knew this couldn't last forever; you would leave the country soon — and she wishes this only determined her to make you cum from her fingers but she couldn't distract herself from the future heartbreak, tears filling her eyes that she blinks away before you can notice. She stops kissing you to look at you, she wants to say something but hesitates question just decides to make a hickey on your shoulder. You giggled, "You're out of this world, Baby." She felt tears build up again, you kept calling her Baby as if you've been girlfriends all along — as if you're girlfriends right now! What are you even? A couple? Friends with benefits? A summer fling? A future long distance relationship that will inevitably end with you two neglecting each other due to your conflicting schedules and different time zones? Fuck. She had sucked on your shoulder very harshly and bitten it too. It looked like a black bird tattoo. "I'm sorry, ____ Babe, you have a hickey now," she kissed it gently as too soothe the hot skin. "It's OK. I haven't had a hickey in a long time. Never on my shoulder," you giggled. Jihyo smiled, both happy and sad at the same time. "Can u make one on me too? In a hidden place?" She wants to remember this moment for the next few days every time she looks at herself in the mirror. Yet she blushes when u move ur head to make a hickey on her boob, opting for the curve under her nipple, sucking and biting. Simultaneously, your fingers were going deeper and faster until Jihyo starts whining and you decide to keep that tempo. She starts moving her fingers harder on your clit, with the same tempo as before, making you moan and bite down on her boob. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum," you said. She whined, "M-Me too." You began kissing again until both of your legs were shaking and you had to stop to breathe.
After a few minutes of just laying down and looking at each other, you decide to get up and run a bath before you two fall asleep in your cum and wetness stained sheets. "Wait for me, Baby. I'll just get the bath ready for us," you kissed her forehead. Jihyo smiled but it fell once she was left alone with her thoughts. Should she sleep in your bed or go home like she always did after hanging out at your place? If she sleeps in your bed it's almost as if going official, right? If she goes home like she always does then it means that this was just a one night stand or a fwb thing, right? Fuck. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Suddenly you were back in the room. "Come, Baby," you carried her to the bathroom and let her step into the bathtub on her own because you're not the hulk. You followed suit, laying behind her. The water was warm and relaxing, cleaning you off of your cum, sweat and tears. You hugged her waist, Jihyo's rested back on your shoulder and chest, you leaning your head on hers, kissing it a few times. But although the water was calming, both your brains were racing. What now? You had an incredible connection. You had so many beautiful memories together, including this one. You've laughed and cried so many times together, now also coming a few times together. How could you let go of this? How could you keep this going at a long distance? A tear fell down Jihyo's cheek. You kissed her tear away. "It's OK. It will all be fine." Tears were falling down your cheeks too.
✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚** ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚** ✦ ੈ ✦
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❝ How much sorrow can I take?
Blackbird on my shoulder
And what difference does it make
When this love is over?
Shall I sleep within your bed?
River of unhappiness
Hold your hands upon my head
'Til I breathe my last breath
Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me
The last time that you touched me
Oh, will wonders ever cease?
Blessed be the mystery of love ❞
—sufjan stevens; 2017
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mossy-opal · 6 months
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Jin Sandwich
Jin Bubaigawara x Reader
Trigger Warnings: Smut. The title is self explanatory- IT'S SHORT
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It was his idea to begin with, and who are you to deny him what he wants? Besides, it was a good idea after all. All he needed to do was have confidence in himself, while he watched you two kiss.
After all, it's not as if it's someone else kissing you, groping you, making you moan. Well, technically it's not someone else.
It's still him, just a clone.
So while he watched himself grind on you, his scruffy face red with blush while his shaky hands grabbed your ass, holding you closer to him.
This was a great idea, Jin thought to himself while he moved towards you and his clone, making himself comfortable behind you. Soon, you were on your hands and knees, Jin thrusting into you with a bruising grip on your hips. Your moans and whines were drowned out by his own, that and the cock shoved down your throat. His clone had your head in his hand, his hips thrusting every so often, his shaking even worse while he felt himself get closer to that euphoria- Was this really happening? How was- This is all so much to- Oh god!
Jins eyes widened while his clone grit his teeth and cried in ecstasy, before it fell apart and melted. You started coughing, unable to swallow the muck that appeared in your mouth. Jin immediately pulled out of you and put himself away to fret about you, before you laughed, still coughing. He laughed as well, the mood being long gone while you two laughed hysterically with each other.
Well, Jin learned something new about his clones.
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No Tags, I couldn't be asked.
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problemswithbooks · 10 months
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With the tentative and rough translations out, i have to say, yeah, Hori really doesn't get what he's actually writing and if he was trying to make Toga's entire deal a metaphor for queerness, he's ended up being quite offensive.
Like first off it seems he has Toga say she falls in love easily with boy and girls and...animals. Which, I always felt the bird thing as a kid could have negative connotations, but wrote it off as 'she was a little kid and this was before her desire for blood was wrapped up in her romantic feelings' type things. So having Hori reinstate that yes, she does still love animals to the point of blood drinking desire--a desire Hori coded as sexual/romantic is not a good look.
It also just makes me question if she could ever own a pet or if she'd end up killing it because she loved it to much and she needed to drink it's blood.
Also getting her perspective on the boy she attacked isn't great either. The translation is rough and basic so it could change, but I don't think there's any translation that could make the situation not read poorly.
In the rough translations she says something along the lines of "I didn't ask to drink his blood because I was afraid he'd hate me and think I was a decent monster."
I could see an alternative translation being "I asked for his blood and he called me a deviant monster, and I sucked his blood."
Again if Hori is trying to make a queer metaphor with Toga, this is a huge issue. Her attacking the boy was always a big problem, but if he didn't bring it up again I think a lot of casual readers would have forgotten it. But now it's front and center again and brings back bad connotations for Toga and a queer reading of her character.
Because again if we read her blood drinking as queerness, and Hori has already coded it in the past as lust while just last chapter confirming that Toga sees it as kissing in the very least we get two equally bad reads.
A) Due to fear of rejection Toga did not ask for consent and decided she'd just make sexual advances toward someone she had a crush regardless.
or B) She got rejected and told no, and then made the sexual advance anyway.
With a queer reading this only becomes worse because it pays into the really negative and even dangerous idea that same sex attracted people will go after anyone regardless of consent or the other persons orientation. It continues to perpetuate the idea that queer people are sexual predators, who target straight people or in the very least do not care about consent, or are unable to control themselves long enough to get it.
But even without a queer reading what Toga did is wrong. It sucks that people don't get her way of showing love, but consent is still needed regardless. You can't just do what you want to someone because you were to afraid to ask them out. You can't just do what you want with someone after they tell you no. Even if the boy had called her a monster that would not make it ok for Toga to, essentially sexually assault him (yes, kissing someone against their will is sexual assault, which is what Toga sees her blood drinking as).
And I think that's why Toga's character is really hard to get behind for some people--because at the end of the day she's literally just saying "I can't help but sexually assault people (and animals apparently)', and the solution to this is to give her exactly what she wants and apologize for not seeing how much pain she was in when she was actively trying to sexually assault people.
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tzumongg · 7 months
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nayeon acting all cocky and telling everyone how she dicks jihyo down every day but when they get home she’s face down ass up on the mattress begging hyo to slow down because this is her third orgasm and she’s getting all fuzzy in the head but jihyos determined and just coos at her pathetic cries and tells her to take her cock like the good little girl she is for her mommy
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zincbotted · 1 year
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bnha class 1-a randomly generated quirkswap au blurbs
(also in this au mineta is replaced by shinso)
Yuga Aoyama - Acid
He sparkles and shines, too bad he accidentally sprays acid everywhere with his grand gesturing. He just wants to be famous! Why does he have to have such a gross quirk?
Mina Ashido - Navel Laser
Her pink skin, hair, and horns were all very eye-catching, but most eye-catching of all is her ability to shoot a bright powerful laser from her bellybutton. Only for a second though or she gets massive cramps.
Tsuyu Asui- Zero Gravity
She accidentally floats herself a lot, so holds her arms out from her body to prevent this from happening. She loves the water, but swimming through the air is almost as good.
Tenya Iida - Brainwashing
Despite not having his family's prized quirk, he's resolved to prove that he can still become a hero and uphold their legacy. He makes a point to be as honest and straightforward as possible to make up for his more sinister quirk.
Ochako Ururaka - Frog
She comes from a poor mutant family that had to face a lot of discrimination. She's going to use her frog-like powers to become a successful hero that makes lots of money to support them.
Mashirao Ojiro - Explosion
He's a pretty normal teenager, and teenagers sweat a lot. Unfortunately his sweat is explosive nitroglycerin. With a lot of training, he makes it work for him.
Denki Kaminari - Creation
He can make anything if he knows its composition! Unfortunately he's... really bad at memorizing what different things are made of. Mostly he just makes useless junk.
Eijiro Kirishima - Dark Shadow
He's a friendly and manly guy! His sentient quirk, not so much. The shadow version of himself that emerges from his body in the darkness is a terrifying quirk, but if anyone can wrangle it, he can!
Koji Koda - Earphone Jack
He's a quiet gentle guy with a tough rocky exterior. He hears everything though, with his sound-boosting quirk. And he can get Real loud when he wants to be.
Rikido Sato - One For All
He grew up quirkless, and with no great ambition other than to be kind. He gave his food to a skeletal man he met on the beach one day. They became friends, and eventually, the man revealed he was truly All Might, the number one hero. He was chosen as his successor, and now he had a motivation, to do as much good as possible by becoming the next symbol of peace. Through kindness, anything is possible.
Mezo Shoji - Invisibility
He always wears a mask. Not that it covers anything up. He's tall, buff, and completely invisible.
Kyoka Jiro - Anivoice
She's a punk-rock music lover. Unfortunately, animals can understand her, and most of the time they don't agree with her style. If you need an angry swarm of any creature that might be nearby, she's your hero.
Hanta Sero - Half Cold Half Hot
He has one of the world's most powerful quirks by total luck. Too bad he just wants to chill out and have fun.
Fumikage Tokoyami - Hardening
He has an unrelated mutation giving him feathers and a beak. His quirk allows him to turn those features to steel by hardening them to an incredibly sturdy substance.
Shoto Todoroki - Tape
The pro hero Endeavor was trying to create the perfect successor. And sometimes, a kid with a perfect split of white and red hair develops a totally unique quirk through a strange mutation. He can create tape. And shoot it from his elbows.
Toru Hakagure - Dupliarms
She's a totally normal girl! With six arms. That she can grow extra body parts on. She just wishes there was a cute guy out there with a thing for weird arms.
Katsuki Bakugou - Tail
He's determined to be the greatest. He may be pretty normal aside from a powerful prehensile tail, but that thing is a constant lashing force of destruction under the force of his rage.
Izuku Midoriya - Sugar Rush
When he was a kid, eating sugar would make him absolutely bonkers. His mother cut it out of his diet, but turns out his quirk transforms sugar into the motherlode of all rushes, granting him superhuman speed and strength. Only, afterwards, his body totally gives out.
Hitoshi Shinso - Engine
He's got engines in his legs. He's a speedster but never really figured out how to use his quirk for combat, so didn't manage to make it into the hero course. He wants to prove himself though, and worked hard for this transfer.
Momo Yaoyorozu - Electrification
She is a top-level student, her intellect is her pride. Unfortunately, if she uses her quirk too much, that prized intelligence is shocked away to nothing as her IQ drops tremendously until she recovers.
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eviebyme · 2 years
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Requests Open
Hi cuties!💕
I have several types of requests open but please know I am open to answering any and all types of astrology requests. They can be K-pop related or just general/about you! Hope to hear from y’all soon❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
Open Requests:
Idol Scenarios and Blurbs: I will answer any scenario/blurb requests for a group or a specific member (for example. How they cuddle, their kinks...etc)
Love Scenarios: Ask any questions about love/relationship for yourself or a K-pop idol and I will write a short blurb/scenario based on astrology.
Rules
I will definitely answer anonymous asks but I will prioritize requests from followers!
I will do my best to do as many as possible but I will not be able to get to all!
I will do requests for different groups, not just one.
Please remember this all for fun!
Check out older Astrology Compatibility posts for reference!
Have fun,
Evie
P.S. since I get asked this a lot, here are the groups I write for: Bts, got7, nct, seventeen, ateez, enhypen, txt, stray kids, Exo, ikon, blackpink, and twice (I can write for any group but these are the ones I know pretty well)
Open Requests
Love Scenarios/Reactions/mtl
Any astrology questions/clarifications
Astrology Compatibility
Compatibility with your bias
Ideal Type
Closed requests
Type of Boyfriend
Enemy Ships
✨Masterlist✨
💫Works in Progress💫
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jinlias · 10 months
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“hey” her head peeks up at you as you walk in the bathroom. she’s watching sofia play in the bath with the toys jeongyeon gifted her today.
if anyone ever said anything negative about motherhood you would eat them alive, not only does your little bundle of joy provide eternal bliss, it has also made mina even more beautiful (you felt that was impossible, but here you are)
like now, how she sits on the edge of the bathtub, with her legs crossed one over the other. her hair has been pulled up with a claw clip, but she’s still wearing the pink long sleeve (per your now 3 year old’s request) with a pair of mom jeans, and she looks just as beautiful as the day you met her, and more.
“hi” she pats your side before you sit on the toilet cover “how bad is it?”
“please, you know better than to underestimate me” you shrug pretending to be cocky and your spouse can’t help the giggle that makes her shoulders vibrate. “only thing left is the bounce house outside, the girls from the rental will be here soon”
mina takes your hands in hers and places a grateful peck on the back of each one. “thank you for marrying me” the two of you smile and it’s played off as a joke for the moment, but both of you know (and everyone around you) just how deep your love actually was.
because it took you from your darkest ages to movie-like memories you still continue to create to this day. your daughter’s third birthday was one of them. you realize motherhood has granted you one more thing, and it’s having some notion of time.
sometimes when you look at mina, a short flashback of her still similar features clouds your mind and it makes your chest race to think just how long you’ve been together, just everything you’ve been through, all the happy endings you’ve had together, including this one.
you can still see the doe, shimmery eyes that first caught your attention in the classroom for your economy class, where you first met. you look forward to seeing them the most every day, to kiss her pillowy lips and have her warm embrace wrap around you. she has no idea all the beautiful things going through your mind, and if you weren’t already married and beginning a family, you would get on your knee again and ask her to be yours forever.
fortunately, she already is. at least in this lifetime.
“I hope that in every life, you are there with me.” you press a peck to her lips, and then her forehead before the two of you continue to admire your little girl making core memories.
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momoshin · 2 years
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ily #45
#45 “What do you want to watch?” with nayeon
just got off work, be there soon xx
her text makes your lips curve in a smile as you pour popcorn in a bowl. walking over to the coffee table. you observe to make sure everything is set. there’s the bowl of popcorn, nayeon’s favorite candy (and a couple of your own), two glasses with a cooler full of ice and a bottle of both your favorite wine.
“i’m sorry. i know, i know i’m late but there was a lot of traffic and-“ your squeal interrupts her as she closes the door, soon you’re wrapping your arms around her neck, relaxing when she wraps her own around your waist. “hi baby”
“i missed you so much” you press multiple short kisses around her face. she takes it in, she knows it’s only been a couple of hours since she saw you last, but she can’t help missing you too.
“i missed you too” nayeon giggles, holding your face still to finally press a kiss on your lips. “wasn’t sure what you were feeling tonight so i got both” she holds up two paper bags with food from two of your favorite places, you squeal even louder this time and press a second kiss to her lips before pulling her with you to the sofa.
she gets comfortable, throwing a blanket over the two of you as you pour the white wine in both glasses, passing one to her. your girlfriend opens her arms for you next, letting you lay on her chest, looking through one of the bags of takeout.
“really?” your eyes light up when you see your most recent craving in the bag, and you wait for her to finish her sip of wine before you kiss her cheek, her free hand holding your chin so she could peck her lips right after.
“okay, so” your smile is bright enough to spread to her face. “what do you wanna watch?” nayeon pretends to think and gently takes the control, switching through a couple of shows until she found the one she wanted.
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wcshedup · 2 months
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why can’t barbie just get clean ?? it takes 96 HOURS to detox fully from h8.
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prismatic-tac · 13 days
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“You look tired, Reala. Are you sure you’re alright?” NiGHTS asked softly, carefully cupping his cheek. It was a bit clammy.
        Reala took a deep breath, not quite able or wanting to meet his eyes.
        On a whim, he took gentle hold of NiGHTS' hand instead and nuzzled into his palm.
        “Do I, now?” Reala sighed against NiGHTS’ wrist.
        NiGHTS could feel the hardness of his sharp teeth but they were harmlessly bared as he leaned further into the touch and reached up to hold onto his forearm with his other hand. NiGHTS had never seen him so forward with physical touch before in his life, let alone so vulnerable... Dare he say desperate. But for what, exactly, or why, he couldn’t be sure. Reala was staring so hard it looked as if he was trying to figure it out, himself. Maybe he really was tired... Which was saying something for a Nightmaren.
        NiGHTS’ heart skipped a beat when their gazes suddenly locked, the pale splendor of the full moon behind the black and red jester only amplifying the luminous blue of Reala’s eyes.
        The next thing he knew, Reala’s teeth slid away from his skin when he leaned forward to cross the short distance and their lips met.
        Soft, steady, but steep, the kiss made NiGHTS feel like he was suddenly flying but still sensed the ground beneath his feet. Fingers intertwined while the stars flared into a spectrum of new colors before his own eyes, ignited by the prodding stroke of Reala’s tongue against his bottom lip.
        His lips are soft, NiGHTS thought, bewildered and bewitched all at once.
        His lips are softer than I expected, Reala thought in turn. Anything else he could say stayed firmly in his head. So he didn’t say anything else, simply smirking at the size of the other Nightmaren’s pupils.
        “How considerate of you to say,” Reala murmured huskily against his lips. It reminded NiGHTS that he'd asked him something mere moments ago, though blinked blindly before he actually could. “But I think you must be daydreaming.”
        Lithe fingertips ghosted along NiGHTS’ jaw as he pulled his hand back from where he’d left it behind his head, toying briefly with the seam of the purple jester hat before he turned to leave.
        “Uh-huh,” NiGHTS breathed dumbly in his wake.
        Maybe he would take a nap after all, Reala mused to himself as he heaved a heavy breath and flew off, letting the breeze do most of the work while he focused on staying conscious long enough to find a place to collapse unseen. Best to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming, himself. What a scandal that would be.
~~~
Part of the main fic I felt like sharing, connected to this piece of art I did that actually inspired the blurb above.
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froqpi-art · 1 year
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it’s been a while since i rlly binge-read a manga, but i read Gachi Koi Nenchakujuu bc a live action was announced with some toku actors in the cast (hiroki matsumoto, who’s kanata in ultraman decker, and kohaku shida, who’s haruka in donbrothers) so i was curious. now i’m kind of obsessed with it. it’s about gachikoi fans who r obsessed with a streamer group to the point of extremely toxic behavior, including but not limited to: manipulation, kidnapping, stabbing, getting canceled on twitter, lying, cheating, etc. it’s rlly messed up but also rlly interesting!
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reveriesofawriter · 4 months
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got neurotic and had to Make Lists so these are all things I enjoyed from this year (I only included books that came out this year and not additional ones I read but like if anyone is interested I have that list too)
albums
built to last - arrows in action
so much (for) stardust - fall out boy
pineapple sunrise - beach weather
the end - cody fry
retrovision - honey revenge
the good witch - maisie peters
the maine - the maine
the dark - the band camino
the feeling of falling upward - 5sos
sunday at foxwoods - boys like girls
something to give each other - troye sivan
live from atlanta - ben rector
books
ephemera - sierra demulder (poetry)
we could be so good - cat sebastian
once more with feeling - elissa sussman
spell bound - f. t. lukens
second chances in new port stephen - tj alexander
teach the torches to burn - caleb roehrig
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theofreakingbell · 1 year
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I'm proud of myself today.
(cw mentions of parental abuse and discussions of trauma)
I've been in this fandom for a long time, almost since I could legally have an account on here. There's a person on here that I used to follow when I was younger. at the time I was being abused by my parents and going through a lot of other shit in my life and Loki was something that comforted and validated me.
I felt a tremendous amount of doubt and insecurity about loving him. I didn't on a basic level know it wasn't morally wrong because he was a villain. I was intensely vulnerable and didn't know I was being abused and was looking for any validation I could find. her blog was, to me then, one of my safe spaces. the scarce few I had. She didn't think it was wrong for people to love him, and she clearly loved him very much herself. She spoke of many of his feelings like they mattered. validated things I had hardly seen elsewhere. She was a good curator of fandom posts too. I would go to her blog sometimes when I needed comfort in my anger and hurt from my abuse, and on at least one occasion feeling like that was a safe space stopped me from self harming. I thought for years that I literally in some ways owed her my life.
she also reblogged misinformation about abuse on multiple occasions. I ate it up and it made me feel more depressed and self destructive. She woobified Frigga to a ridiculous extent and refused to acnowledge any responsibility that she had in the things they shouldn't have done that it made me internalise problematic shit about my own mom (whose relationship with my own father and acting as a sort of peacemaker while also doing her own bad stuff mirrors Odin and Frigga very much) that I am still having to carefully detangle from me like glass shards. I nearly realised I was a survivor years earlier than I did because of how I was relating my own trauma to Loki and beginning to understand it, or at least that it existed, and it was what I saw on her blog, the assertions that what he went through wasn't abuse, the denial of certain areas of abuse, that sent me crying and thinking that I couldn't be one, and that I was wrong for wanting to know that he was a survivor too.
Her knowledge of psychology and the terms she used was clearly stuck in some past decade and she said multiple ableist and nonsensical things re loki's mental health. She said that Loki did what he did in the first movie because of psychosis which. just. absolutely not. She shared things that pathologised Odin instead of criticising him properly and without ableism.
I just. I was so afraid that nobody would ever care about what I went through or listen to me or respect me as someone who loves Loki and had bad luck in finding better people that I clung to her far longer than I should have, or should have had to, and I had a very hard time realising that while I saw her as someone who could be a safe space, she wasn't that, and in a lot of ways hurt me and made things worse for me. She validated his anger and pain while obscuring and lying about some of what hurt him and in turn made me think harder that what was being done to me was okay, because ~they were trying~, as if that should have been enough to protect me from what they were doing (it wasn't).
I know I'm a survivor now. I know Loki is too. I have met and talked with and befriended so many lovely people here. I feel safe in the fandom now in a way I literally never thought I would and I am so happy and greatful for that. (she was not the only problem, nor my only source of trauma within fandom, but she was a gigantic part of it)
She's never interacted with me on here. I have no idea if she even knows I exist. for multiple years I couldn't even bear to look her up to block her because there was a part of my brain screaming that that was too harsh, that I should be greatful to her, that I owed her that.
I blocked her today.
II'm still struggling to know, in the whole of me, that she and her feelings are not my responsibility. I cared about her so desperately for so long and part of me still does. But I do not owe her access to me when even seeing her username makes my entire body tense up, when she, a full grown adult, put me as a child in more danger that I was already in by not being careful not to spread misinfo about abuse and not be dismissive of it, when she gave me emotional wounds I will likely be dealing with long after she dies (she's quite a bit older than me), when I cannot even think of existing in the same space as her without feeling short of breath.
I do not owe her that. and I owe myself the peace and safety of knowing I never have to interact with her again.
Here's to relaxing a little more after today.
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