" he who longs to meet you through his days and looks at the sky when you are away. whose world lights up with your smile and whose ruined house turns into a warm home with your voice and approaching footsteps. who falls deeper every time he looks into your eyes. who dishevells himself to fulfill your every whim. "
it’s 1962 March 28th
I’m sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
night is falling
I never knew I liked
night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain
I don’t like
comparing nightfall to a tired bird
I didn’t know I loved the earth
can someone who hasn’t worked the earth love it
I’ve never worked the earth
it must be my only Platonic love
and here I’ve loved rivers all this time
whether motionless like this they curl skirting the hills
European hills crowned with chateaus
or whether stretched out flat as far as the eye can see
I know you can’t wash in the same river even once
I know the river will bring new lights you'll never see
I know we live slightly longer than a horse but not nearly as long as a crow
I know this has troubled people before
and will trouble those after me
I know all this has been said a thousand times before
and will be said after me
I didn’t know I loved the sky
cloudy or clear
the blue vault Andrei studied on his back at Borodino
in prison I translated both volumes of War and Peace into Turkish
I hear voices
not from the blue vault but from the yard
the guards are beating someone again
I didn’t know I loved trees
bare beeches near Moscow in Peredelkino
they come upon me in winter noble and modest
beeches are Russian the way poplars are Turkish
“the poplars of Izmir
losing their leaves. . .
they call me The Knife. . .
lover like a young tree. . .
I blow stately mansions sky-high”
in the Ilgaz woods in 1920 I tied an embroidered linen handkerchief
to a pine bough for luck
I never knew I loved roads
even the asphalt kind
Vera's behind the wheel we're driving from Moscow to the Crimea
Koktebele
formerly “Goktepé ili” in Turkish
the two of us inside a closed box
the world flows past on both sides distant and mute
I was never so close to anyone in my life
bandits stopped me on the red road between Bolu and Geredé
when I was eighteen
apart from my life I didn’t have anything in the wagon they could take
and at eighteen our lives are what we value least
I’ve written this somewhere before
wading through a dark muddy street I'm going to the shadow play
Ramazan night
a paper lantern leading the way
maybe nothing like this ever happened
maybe I read it somewhere an eight-year-old boy
going to the shadow play
Ramazan night in Istanbul holding his grandfather’s hand
his grandfather has on a fez and is wearing the fur coat
with a sable collar over his robe
and there’s a lantern in the servant’s hand
and I can’t contain myself for joy
flowers come to mind for some reason
poppies cactuses jonquils
in the jonquil garden in Kadikoy Istanbul I kissed Marika
fresh almonds on her breath
I was seventeen
my heart on a swing touched the sky
I didn’t know I loved flowers
friends sent me three red carnations in prison
I just remembered the stars
I love them too
whether I’m floored watching them from below
or whether I'm flying at their side
I have some questions for the cosmonauts
were the stars much bigger
did they look like huge jewels on black velvet
or apricots on orange
did you feel proud to get closer to the stars
I saw color photos of the cosmos in Ogonek magazine now don’t
be upset comrades but nonfigurative shall we say or abstract
well some of them looked just like such paintings which is to
say they were terribly figurative and concrete
my heart was in my mouth looking at them
they are our endless desire to grasp things
seeing them I could even think of death and not feel at all sad
I never knew I loved the cosmos
snow flashes in front of my eyes
both heavy wet steady snow and the dry whirling kind
I didn’t know I liked snow
I never knew I loved the sun
even when setting cherry-red as now
in Istanbul too it sometimes sets in postcard colors
but you aren’t about to paint it that way
I didn’t know I loved the sea
except the Sea of Azov
or how much
I didn’t know I loved clouds
whether I’m under or up above them
whether they look like giants or shaggy white beasts
moonlight the falsest the most languid the most petit-bourgeois
strikes me
I like it
I didn’t know I liked rain
whether it falls like a fine net or splatters against the glass my
heart leaves me tangled up in a net or trapped inside a drop
and takes off for uncharted countries I didn’t know I loved
rain but why did I suddenly discover all these passions sitting
by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
is it because I lit my sixth cigarette
one alone could kill me
is it because I’m half dead from thinking about someone back in Moscow
her hair straw-blond eyelashes blue
the train plunges on through the pitch-black night
I never knew I liked the night pitch-black
sparks fly from the engine
I didn’t know I loved sparks
I didn’t know I loved so many things and I had to wait until sixty
to find it out sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
watching the world disappear as if on a journey of no return
I'll spare you the long and winded road that got me to Yamagishi Ryouko's Tennin Karakusa (天人唐草) one shot collection... I was supposed to find the bunkoban edition of it, but because I did my research half-assedly, I got the scans from the 1980 collection with the same title. I was bummed that I didn't get the one shot I was looking for (which was 狐女 (Kitsunejo-Fox Lady, 1981) btw), and was skimming through the one shots in the 1980 book in mild disappointment. The last page of one of the stories caught my eye, because of the text taking up the bottom of the page and my brain going "Huh? Isn't that Hiroshima Peace Memorial?". When I read the first line of what's written on that page, I almost fell off my chair. I KNEW what it was. It was a poem by the great Turkish poet Nazım Hikmet, Hiroshima Child (Kız Çocuğu, 死んだ女の子, 1956).
Now, I had to read this one shot. Natsu no Guuwa (夏の寓話 - Summer Fable) was first published in the 1976 August issue of Seventeen magazine, and later compiled in a bunch of books I'm too lazy to list here. None of them are available as e-books anyway, so it wouldn't be of much use... I'll revisit the list when I buy one of them, because I know I will buy a copy for myself.
The story takes place in Hiroshima during a hot, hot summer. University student Sumio has to spend his summer home sitting and taking care of fish and birds, and getting bored to death. He comes across a girl in the park who never plays with the other kids and who is always alone. The two get closer, however, the girl is acting strange and can't even remember her own name. Sumio tries to figure out her circumstances, only to find that she is the ghost of a little girl who died during the Hiroshima bombing in 1945.
I couldn't find any background info on this, but I'm almost positive that this is a manga adaptation of Nazım Hikmet's poem, and the poem is not there as a decoration. The imagery used in the poem, the little girl knocking on doors (windows, in this case), her burning and turning into ash, is weaved into the story in a most striking way. It's not telling the real-life story that made Nazım (yes, we call him by his first name) write that poem, but a whole new story based on the poem itself. I LOVED Yamagishi's take on this literary work, and felt elated to see a compatriot in a manga by an artist I respect a lot.
It is also in one tiny panel, but there is a guy criticizing the younger generation for being "apolitical" in this manga (see: しらけ世代), which I found interesting. Is Yamagishi condoning people who belong to that generation? Does she criticize the youth dor being apolitical and not caring about their country? Or is she trying to show that despite appearances, they care in their own way? As I'm not Japanese and I wasn't even alive in 1976, I lack the proper background to make a sound assessment on that. But still, it made me aware such concerns also existed in Japan. Isn't this the beauty of reading older manga? They make you think about stuff you'd normally wouldn't think about with a single bubble.
I canot stress it enough, but seeing what Nazım's poem made Yamagishi feel was a very unexpected yet great experience for me. This one shot will hold a special place in my heart.