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#try to eat remaining half of english muffin
pink-booty-butts · 1 year
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English Muffins (Jamie Winton x Reader)
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(sorry for the repost, i got worried this was horrible and deleted it. but it’s back now!)
Pairing: Jamie Winton x Reader
Word Count: 1,337
Summary: you eat too many english muffins and jamie intervenes
Warnings: mentions of reader having anxiety and being a workaholic, but that’s about it. comfort/fluff, i think? not proof-read.
A/N: i went to eat my comfort food and i thought of this lol. as far as im aware english muffins aren’t very popular in the uk, but this is my fic so that’s what we’re doing haha. so sorry if jamie is ooc! but i hope you enjoy!!
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The first thing Jamie noticed when he walked into the kitchen after work was the suspiciously half-empty bag of english muffins next to the toaster oven. Perhaps to anyone else this would not be noteworthy, but Jamie is much more aware of your emotional dependance on this form of bread than you yourself are.
Back when the two of you were dating, he noticed that you always had a bag of them in your kitchen, right next to the toaster. When he first spent the night, he assumed that due to seeing them so frequently you ate in them in the morning for breakfast. He was wrong, of course, and later learned that you eat them at random intervals throughout the day, most often at night since that is when you seem to be the most alert. A few times, he even caught you partaking in your little routine of making them. You’d separate the muffin with your thumbs, and typically frown when the sides are uneven due to your lack of using a knife. Then you would lightly toast them—checking them frequently due to lack of trust of your toaster—slather a light amount of butter on each one, and pop them back in the toaster for a second or two to make sure the butter melts. You’d eat them almost immediately, and on days when you didn’t outright smile after eating them, at the very least your mood seemed to improve considerably.
Your ritual only ever took a few minutes, and normally it was nothing to worry about. Jamie understood a thing or two about the anxieties of every day life, and if anything he was glad you had something that brought you comfort so reliably. He was actually so on board with it, in fact, that sometimes he’d buy them for you when he came to visit you at your place, knowing you tend to forget things easily. Since the two of you began living together, he made sure to always buy them whenever he goes grocery shopping for the two of you. You don’t even eat them every day, of course, but Jamie always thought it was best to have them around just in case. It was only problematic when you began eating more than one a day.
The half-empty bag raises alarms because he just bought that bag yesterday, and he remembered seeing one muffin remaining from the previous bag when he put the groceries away. That means that you had eaten at least four english muffins since then, causing a look of worry to pass over Jamie’s face. He takes his jacket off and loosens his tie, intent on finding you and figuring out what’s wrong.
It doesn’t take long for him to find you, seeing as you’re currently hunched over your laptop in your office. You are typing furiously, your eyes darting back and forth trying to get your brain to keep up with the words flowing into your head. You didn’t notice Jamie open the door due being so engrossed in your work and blasting music into your eardrums. Jamie hated interrupting you while you were working, knowing it messed with your flow, but you look like you’ve been overworking yourself so he thinks it’s best to intervene. He walks up to you slowly, kneeling down to be at eye level with you in the chair that you are currently cross-legged in. You glance at him, and he pulls one of your earbuds out.
“Hey,” he smiles. He looks at you lovingly, placing a hand on your forearm in an attempt to comfort you. He then turns his head slightly to look at your computer screen, before looking back at you. “What are you working on?”
You bite your lip, looking at him with nervous eyes. “Um, my new book,” you get out, before berating yourself. He already knows that! “Uhh, it’s the second to last chapter of the second act. When the aliens show up,” you explain. Assuming Jamie will want to continue your usual after-work conversation, you lean back in your chair and start massaging your hands while awaiting his response. You flinch slightly while doing so, not having realized how sore your hands are from typing non-stop. You continue, knowing that if you keep massaging them the pain will die down and you will be able to start typing again.
“Have you eaten?” he asks, eyebrows raised in concern. You tense briefly, and that’s enough for Jamie to know that the answer to his question is a resounding no. Well, technically you have eaten, but english muffins don’t provide anywhere near enough nutritional value for them to be considered. He grabs one of your hands, and stands up. “Let’s go out for dinner tonight,” he grins, “We haven’t gone out in a while, both of us being busy with work and all.”
Your eyes widen in excitement, wanting to say yes, but then you see your calendar out of the corner of your eye. You deflate, seeing the big red circle around the due date for your rough draft. “I can’t,” you sigh, not wanting to look at his—most likely—disappointed face. “I need to finish this part by tonight, or I’ll never finish this rough draft on time.”  
Jamie frowns, not enjoying the sight of you being so stressed out. He wants nothing more than to fix all of your problems, but he’d never want to get in between you and your work. No matter how much it ails you, you love writing and he would never dream of taking that away from you. However, he will not under any circumstances allow you to drive yourself into the ground like this. As such, he decides to speak up. “I know how much this means to you,” he says, gesturing to the laptop. “But don’t you think you deserve a break? You’ve been working yourself too hard these past few days.” He kneels down in front of you, taking your tired hands in his. “I love you so much, and I hate seeing you like this. Can’t you ask for an extension?” Jamie sees you are about to protest, and quickly cuts you off by resuming speaking. “I know you’re worried about it. But you’ve never asked for one the whole time I’ve known you. Your last three books all did great, so it’s not like we need the money. Surely that gives you some leeway to take a little longer,” he explains, nervous that you might be upset at him for his request.
You don’t say anything for a moment, mulling over his words. You frown slightly at the truth of them. “…Never? Really?” you question, slightly embarrassed with yourself. “Am I really that bad?” you chuckle.
He laughs with you, relieved you aren’t upset with him. “Yes, really,” he teases. “Remember when you had that fever? I had to hide your laptop so you could rest, and even then you kept insisting on looking for it.”
You snort at this, recalling the memory. You look back at your laptop, and then back down at your hands. Jamie is rubbing soft circles into them, but you can still feel the ache from your obsessive typing over the past few days. “Yeah, you’re right,” you admit. Jamie can practically see the weight lift off your shoulders when you say this, and he almost tears up knowing you haven’t allowed yourself to relax for a while now. “I’ll email my editor and then we can go.”
Jamie gives you a quick kiss on the lips, excited about going out to dinner with you. “Perfect,” he grins. He stands up and lets go of your hands, but not before giving you another kiss on the forehead. “I’ll get changed,” he announces, while walking backwards into the hallway.
“I better not see you in there still typing when I’m done!” he loudly shouts from your shared bedroom.
You let out a loud laugh, and shake your head. “You won’t!”
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dp1nk · 2 years
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canvas of irrationality
i found an old shitpost fanfic about chick fil a and let an ai help me finish it.
"I'm home, Myshka!"
"Welcome home, luv!" Lena mutes the telly and greets her wife from the living room couch, as she hears the slamming of the front door. Her wife, Aleksandra, does as she usually does when she returns from a day of work - she wanders straight into the kitchen. Lena shrugs, remains in her seat and takes another bite of her sandwich. She's ever vigilant of the large Russian weightlifter's tendency to make a pit stop at the gym before she returns to her tiny English muffin, so every day, she tries to have a hot, homemade meal (made with extra love) ready for her return.
Today was a long day at the pizza shop for her, though, and she didn't feel like cooking, so she stopped for some fast food instead - something she does very rarely. Hopefully, nonetheless, Aleks is going to like what she brought home.
"…Lena! Vhat is this!?"
The thickness of her accent strikes a strange, primal terror into the brunette's reptilian brain, which courses down her spine and brings her posture to attention. She glances down at her chicken sandwich and swallows her half-chewed bite.
"Uh…I-It's Chick-Fil-A, luv--"
The sound of the trash container interrupts her as something is hurled in with a thunderous crash. Lena turns and looks with pure confoundment into the kitchen doorway. "Aleks?"
Her wife storms into the living room, eyes bloodshot, livid as a starving bear. The rumble of her footsteps shake the small apartment, and Lena could almost swear the couch is jumping slightly off the floor with each one. The freckled little pizza girl can't even begin to imagine what she did to trigger such a reaction, and that really only worries her further - Aleks never gets this way over food!
The lifter catches sight of the sandwich in her trembling hands and snatches it away.
"You hev brought contrabend into my house," she growls from her throat. "Vhat else do you hev? Do not lie to me."
The tiny brunette on the couch simply stares back, unblinking. "Cont-Contraband?"
Aleksandra points at the to-go cup on the coffee table, bearing the accursed Chick-Fil-A logo on it. As Lena watches, she could swear her wife's eyes fade from bloodshot red into a rage-filled, glowing white.
"Hend it to me. Now."
The terrified Brit hesitates, but soon extends the drink to the fuming Russian with some reluctance. She nearly crushes it in her hand as she takes it.
"How much did you pay for this?"
Lena's breath hitches in her dry throat. "…Wot did I do, Aleks??"
"HOW MUCH!?"
"Um…a dollar fifty…"
Aleks' face contorts with anger, but her voice is controlled. "Did you buy anything else there? A milkshake maybe? Or did you go straight for the burger and fries?"
"They only sell chicken there, luv."
"They hate us, Lena. You know they hate us. Why would you eat there?"
The pizza girl cocks her head at the unexpected question. Any tension and fear she may have felt melts off as her wife's concerns become clearer.
Clear as they may be, they don't halt her from taking another bite of her sandwich. She replies, her mouth full: "I don't care what they think! It's yummy!"
"But do you want them hating you? Do you want them to be able to say 'I knew a lesbian who ate at Chick Fil-A'?! To have it be an easy thing for them to point out to all their friends and family?"
"They're not gonna tell anyone, Aleks! And I don't care if they do. It's yummy! You haven't even tried it!"
"I am so sick of you acting like you can't see how important this is to me, Lena!" The brutish Russian practically whines, defeat in her voice as the woman she married simply finishes her meal.
Lena finally swallows the last bite of her sandwich. "I'm sorry, luv. I just really like the food there."
Aleks shakes her head, exasperated. "You know what, Lena? You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."
"It's okay," Lena says, trying to be reassuring.
"No, it's not okay! I don't get angry often, but when I do, I can't control myself. You don't understand what it's like to be treated like garbage every day."
"…Wot's that supposed to mean?" Lena says, defensively. "I've been treated pretty badly, too. And I'm not going to let that happen here!"
"Well, I won't treat you like garbage either!" The Russian scoffs, but thinks better of escalating the conversation. Instead, she drops the crumpled to-go cup back into her wife's hands. "We're just not going to talk about it, okay?"
Aleks walks away and into the bedroom. Still confused, the tiny Brit chooses to pursue her.
"Darling? You all right?" Lena asks as she enters the room.
Aleks is sitting on the bed with the lights off, head in her hands. Lena sits next to her and rubs her back.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Aleks says, looking up. "I didn't mean to."
"It's okay," Lena attempts to respond, but is cut off.
"It's not okay!" Aleks shouts, causing her to jump at the sudden increase in volume. "It's not okay! You should be able to make your own choices about where to spend your money!"
Her wife can only giggle, appearing endeared rather than annoyed. "We're not talkin' about it, remember? Tell ya what. Why don't you go try your sandwich? You're not yourself when you're hungry."
"You're right," Aleks says, standing up and walking to the kitchen.
Lena follows, holding out her hand. "I'll hold your chicken sandwich for you, luv."
-
"Is this okay?"
The woman nods, so Lena presses the sandwich to her lips. It's hard to tell from her expression if she likes it or not.
"Here I go."
She takes a bite of the chicken sandwich and chews it thoughtfully. Lena is tempted to ask for her opinion, but chooses instead to allow her wife the time she needs to evaluate the flavor.
After several more bites, Aleks seems satisfied and takes the sandwich away.
"Okay, what do you think?"
"I…it's good."
Aleks' brow furrows, and she stares at her wife, her face unreadable.
"It's really good," Lena repeats.
Aleks frowns again, and Lena is afraid that her wife doesn't like the food - until Aleks begins laughing. It sounds like bells being rung in tune, and her smile looks positively radiant as it spreads across her face.
"It's the best thing I've ever tasted!"
"Yeah?"
The Russian shoves the rest of the sandwich into her mouth. Lena giggles, unable to believe her own ears. She's never seen Aleks eat so much before - and with such enthusiasm!
"No, no! This is serious! This is the most amazing sandwich I have ever had! I know it might sound weird, considering it's Chick Fil-A, but…"
Lena laughs, but stops when she realizes what her wife is saying. "…Wait. You're serious?"
Aleks shakes her head. "I promise, Lena! God is real, and he lives inside me! And he wants us to love each other. I've read the bible and everything."
The brunette's mouth hangs open, disbelieving what she is hearing. "But, but--"
Aleks grabs her wife and presses their faces together, looking her dead in the eye. "Don't you believe me, Lena?"
The tiny brunette stares at her wife, trying to understand what is going on in her head, but first she has to process how things even escalated to this point from something as simple as choosing to pick up takeaway for once.
Still, a part of her knows that it would be lying if it claimed it didn't completely anticipate something like this happening. It's Chick Fil-A, after all.
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tightwadspoonies · 3 years
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The Joy of Raising (and eating) Your Very Own Yeast Child(ren)
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I know I am, statistically, late to this bandwagon.
Once a mysterious realm that only seasoned bakers would dare enter, the world of baking with a home yeast starter has become much less foreign to the scores of reluctant public health enthusiasts trying to find a way to use their sudden increase in free time.
It’s also because yeast is both reasonably expensive (like $5 for a jar that lasts a while, granted, but if you make all of your own bread, it quickly becomes the expensive ingredient) and frankly when everyone is making yeasty baked goods and supply chains are disrupted due to a pesky global pandemic, you want to have a backup. Discard also makes the food you eat just a little better for you (see below), and if you’re relying on more starchy things like flour in your diet for budget reasons, why not get everything you can out of all the other ingredients?
I, like everyone else, made like three sourdough starters in the last 12 months. I then let them die because holy crap those things 1, ate way more than I expected them to, and 2, I kept ending up with this stinktastic, slowly-fermenting glob of goo (the discard) in a takeout container on my porch because otherwise my entire apartment would have smelled like it.
I know I’m not doing a great job of selling it, but I wanted to make a post that showed it really was possible to not only sustainably and economically grow and maintain your own edible bacteria-and-yeast colony in an old jam jar, but really make it a part of your family.
1- How to Make a Starter:
Before we can really get into the joys of raising a pet sourdough starter, you have to actually get your hands on one. It’s actually way, way easier than I thought:
First, you get the following:
A jar with a lid (preferably glass- my first one was a pasta sauce jar from Aldi, but anything that’s clear-ish and around a pint/500ish ml will work great)
A half cup or so of whole wheat flour (if you don’t use whole wheat flour often, it will only be a few cents if you buy it in the bulk section)
6-7 tablespoons of tap water
A clean spoon
A rubber band or dry erase marker (optional but recommended)
All-purpose white flour to feed
Second, you put the flour and water in the jar and mix until it forms a thin, sticky paste
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Third, cover loosely with the lid, and mark the level of water-flour paste either by putting the rubber band around the jar or marking it with a dry-erase marker.
Fourth, wait like 24 hours for bubbles to appear. These are CO2 bubbles released as the wild yeast and bacteria that is naturally present in whole wheat flour eats the wheat starch.
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Fifth, once your flour-water-yeast goo doubles in size, scoop out half of it and discard (it should be stretchy, sticky, and bubbly in texture and smell pleasantly yeasty and ferment-y), place a quarter cup of all-purpose flour and 3 tbsp of water in the jar and mix with the remaining starter. Repeat every time the mixture doubles in size.
Note: if you go too long without feeding your yeast baby, it will form a watery layer and start to stink. All you have to do to save it is get as much of the watery stuff out as possible, discard half, and feed it until the smell and texture return to normal.
Once you start having to do this multiple times per day, congrats! You have a live and active sourdough starter!
2- What to Do With All That Goo (or ”discard”):
So basically now you have a boring, hungry toddler that really likes flour and outputs a lot of gooey discard.
First, don’t think of discard as a waste! You should think of your starter as a yeast farm and the throw-away portion (the “discard”) as the product.
Using discard in recipes not only lends a deeper flavor and chewier texture to baked goods, but helps partially digest the wheat starches (making discard slightly lower in quick carbohydrates than traditional flour), acts as a prebiotic (the fiber in discard-laden baked goods is better for feeding your gut bacteria, which helps you digest things more thoroughly), decreases the amount of gluten, and the lactic acid bacteria in discard increases the amount of nutrients like folate, potassium, and magnesium that the body can absorb during digestion. Basically, it lets you get more out of the food you eat and makes baked goods (slightly) better for you!
Here’s how you can use it (remember that measurements shown below are “stirred down” discard, meaning you have to stir the bubbles out of your discard before measuring):
Bread/bagels/english muffins- replace the active dry yeast portion of the recipe with a quarter cup of discard, and let the dough rise 12 or more hours after kneading. This longer rise time is required because the wild yeasts are not quite as active (or voracious) as their cultivated cousins, and you want time for the whole thing to get nice and sour from the lactic acid bacteria.
Crackers/thin-crust pizza dough- replace half the flour in a cracker/pizza dough recipe with discard and omit yeast.
Crepes/pancakes/waffles- replace up to 3/4 of the flour in a crepe, waffle or pancake recipe with discard, and omit yeast.
Quickbreads- replace up to 3/4 of the flour in a quickbread (pumpkin, apple, zucchini, banana bread, etc...) with discard and adjust liquid to desired consistency.
Brownies- replace as much as all of the flour in your brownie recipe with discard and adjust the liquid to the desired consistency.
Granola- replace the binder (usually honey or sugar) in granola and granola bar recipes with discard, and sweeten to taste.
Pie crust- replace half the flour in your pie crust with discard, add the discard when you would normally add the water, and omit the water.
Batter for fried fish/chicken/potato wedges/veg, etc...- water down the discard with some beer or water, dip your fried things, and fry.
3- Preserving Your Starter Colony When You Have More Bread and Crackers Than You Can Comfortably Eat:
As much as you’d like to think you’ll use discard for every recipe, you might find that your creativity (or just your tolerance for discard-flavored things) gets stretched a little thin over time.
That’s okay!
Here are a few great ways to save your starter without needing to feed it every 12 hours:
Fridge it- If you just want less discard, put your whole starter colony in your fridge- the cold slows down the yeast’s digestion so you only have to feed it once per week.
Freeze it- if you have a few days that you don’t have anything to do with your discard or want to save up for a bigger recipe, portion it into greased ice cube trays, freeze it, and then pop the discard chunks out and store in a ziploc or jar. Thaw it to use in larger recipes down the line.
Dry it- spread your discard on parchment paper-lined baking trays and let it air out at room temperature for a few days, then chop it up and store in an airtight container (with some burnt flour in a little cloth envelop if you live in a humid climate).
Gift it/sell it: You’d be surprised at how many people feel the need to buy an existing starter. Feed your starter and then portion it into small jars (baby food, etc... with labels removed), then freeze the jars. Gift or sell these frozen portions by tying a little ribbon around them (feel free to name them and write the parent starter’s date of birth on the ribbon) and sending them off with a little printout of how to care for them.
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escapewriter · 3 years
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Midnight Coffee
pairing : mingyu x reader
synopsis : who knew trying to finish your essay at a 24 hour cafe would earn you a free cup of coffee.
genre : very fluffy, humor, my attempts at trying to make it flirty, flustered gyu🥺
word count : 1.5k
a/n : I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED WRITING THIS AND MADE MYSELF SAD. then i made my friend read it and it made her feel so single lmao. i apologize for any typos.
svt written masterlist || main masterlist
Your head fell forward, body jolting in reaction to try and keep you awake. Your droopy eyelids attempted to fight off the slumber your body craved. I need to finish this paper. 
You thought working on your homework at a 24 hour cafe would help you stay focused and encouraged; it doesn’t. 
Sitting up straight, you fixed your glasses and stared hard at your computer.
It was currently 12:24am. Anyone, whoever at this godly hour, who passed by the window of the cafe would see a stressed college student who had no clue what they were doing. 
Staring at your computer did no justice for you, but only gave you a headache. Yippie. 
You rubbed your temples and decided to eat your cold muffin that was bought hours before entering this predicament. The muffin did nothing but fill your empty stomach. A small nap shouldn’t hurt, right? I have some time to spare. 
Your eyes snapped open when you heard someone clear their throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll continue working. Don’t kick me out please.” Still half asleep, you typed on your keyboard; an unintentional keyboard smash. 
Your mind failed to register what the worker had said after leaving a coffee cup at your table and returning to their station behind the counter. Looking at it, you took a sip of the warm liquid, a new fire igniting within you as you pressed the backspace key and typed away. 
~
The cup was empty by the time you finished your paper. Although you weren’t satisfied with the finished product of the topic, it was finished. I have a week to fix it before it’s due anyway. How extra of you to finish it so early. 
You sighed happily and checked the time on your computer screen. 1:02am, I need to head home. You began to pack your things, the only remaining item on the table is the coffee cup. You shrugged, mind hazy and not remembering how that got there or if you bought it earlier. 
Throwing your trash away, you went back to your table to retrieve your bag before freezing in your spot. Quickly you sat down and took out a book, opening it to a random page. You lifted it high enough to make it look like you were reading, when in reality, you were staring at the gorgeous man that was on the opposite side of the room, reading a book too.
Your mouth fell agape, eyes focusing back on the book so it wouldn’t be that obvious if he caught you staring. If only Seungkwan was here so you could whisper yell at him.
Why have I never seen him before? You shook your head before glancing back up, making eye contact with him, then quickly averting your eyes back down, biting your lower lip in embarrassment. 
The man at the table smiled, thinking you were so cute trying to be subtle. You failed to notice your book was upside down. 
You slowly looked up again, seeing his brown orbs stare back at yours as you quickly looked away again. You squeezed your eyes shut, fuck it. You closed your book, putting it back in your bag and grabbing your things before standing up. You made your way over to the man, his eyes never leaving yours, a small smirk on his lips. 
Okay, you got this YN. He’s just a very attractive man that's all. No biggie. 
“This seat taken?” You glanced over to the chair that was across from him. He gestured his arm, signaling to have a seat. Taking your place, you took a deep breath in. 
“Now, why are you here at 1 in the morning and only reading,” He smiled and closed his book, crossing one leg over the other, “I could say the same thing to you Princess, although I do envy your talent.”
You tilted your head in question. He cleared his throat, “Reading the book while it’s upside down,” Your cheeks began to heat up as you purse your lips, “very talented may I say. You think you could teach me?” The man leaned forward, a smug look on his face. 
You narrowed your eyes, and straightened your back, lifting your hands in the air, “Looks like you caught me, but what can I say? You’ve looked in the mirror before, haven’t you?” He smiled and took a deep breath, “Well, I can’t say I haven’t, but I do look once in a while,” He ran his fingers through his hair, his ego clearly enjoying this. 
“Loving the compliment, huh?” You saw a blush creep onto his face and you smiled, “I’m guessing you do.” He shifted in his seat, both of you never failing to lose eye contact.
“Does this prideful man have a name?” 
“Mingyu, Kim Mingyu. And you are?” You gave him a cheeky smile. 
“What’s the fun with telling you my name? I liked it when you called me Princess.” His eyes widened, not expecting you to be so bold. 
He composed himself and leaned back to the chair, “Alright fine, I’ll become one of the guys that play the chasing game, although it did seem like you were after me, no?”
You rolled your eyes, heart pounding in your ears, “Oh please, who’s really chasing now?” He nodded in agreement, “I admit, this is very intriguing for me.” 
You shifted in your seat, trying to get more comfortable. “So, Mingyu, tell me. What is it that you do?”
Mingyu began to talk and you couldn’t help but just stare at him. From his dark luscious locks down to his eyes, then to his soft lips, and to his grey fitted suit. God, how is he so handsome? He opened his jacket, pulling out the business cards from the small pocket, showing you, then putting them back in their place. I should really listen to what he’s saying. 
“Princess?” You blinked a couple of times before looking back into his dark orbs, “Having fun there?” You smiled cheekily, “Can you blame me?”
He laughed slightly, “No fair, I’m the only one talking.” You leaned forward, setting your elbow on the table while your hand supported your head. “Well, what do you want to know?”
“A name would be nice,” He mumbled under his breath as you grinned at him, “but tell me, what course are you studying in?”
You winced, recalling back to the paper that you were struggling on writing earlier. “I’m an english major, nothing interesting, just the fact that I like writing.” He scoffed, “You call that mess earlier ‘I like writing?’” You shrugged moving your elbow off the table and playing with the sleeve of your long sweater.
“Writers have their moments when it comes to writer's block.” He opened his mouth making a ‘tsk’ sound, “I see, and you get those all the time?” He looked at you expectantly. He’s messing with me.
“No, in fact I do not. That paper you just saw me demolish? It’s due in a week.” You smirked at him as his face fell, losing whatever battle this was.
“Did you at least enjoy the coffee I ordered for you earlier? It seemed like it helped a lot.” Your brows furrowed, before the imaginary lightbulb lit up, “Oh! That was from you?” He smiled and nodded. 
“Well, I guess I have to repay you, now don’t I?” He smiled, “I guess you do. Do I finally get your name?” You stood up with your things, contemplating on whether you should tell him or not. 
“You’ll find out soon,” You walked closer to his seated form, bending over slightly to be level with his face, “but Princess fits me more, don’t you think? Unless you have a better name?” You ran your fingers through his smooth hair as he took a deep breath in. 
“No, Princess fits you.” You smiled, “Good. Now,” you reached into his jacket, feeling his muscles tense under the soft touch of your fingertips, and into the small pocket where his business cards were, “I’ll give you a call, Kim Mingyu.” You stood up straight and winked at him, making your way to the counter and speaking to the cashier before walking out of the cafe. 
Mingyu’s eyebrows rose, face flushed and embarrassed that you were able to fluster him. However, his thoughts immediately changed when he saw you skipping, arms up, a sign of success for you. He smiled and shook his head as an employee came over with a warm cup of coffee
Nice, 1:30am coffee he thought. “This is from YN.” He looked up, confused. “Who?”
“The person who just walked out, they said to tell you their name. Their name is YN.”
Mingyu smiled, thanking the employee before looking at the empty seat in front of him, “YN.”
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manorbagofsand · 4 years
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he takes mental inventory of everything he's eaten since yesterday morning.
coffee.
an english muffin.
a few handfuls of spicy peanuts.
the last few plantain chips.
a beer.
another beer.
kombucha, free from your housemate’s job.
another beer. 
a wash of shame comes over him. he shouldn't drink this much. but he knows he won't change. he at least shouldn't try to hide that he drinks this much, leaving the empty cans on the floor between his bedside table and the bed until he can covertly discard them. 
is he an alcoholic?
he takes inventory. he's not very functional while drunk, that's why he drinks, after all. alcohol gifting him a sense of complacency unavailable to him otherwise. he has, 1 or 2 drinks a day, and only most days. he's only been drunk at work twice, before, both after a night out with Esther, both miserable experiences, vomiting outside in the median between the sidewalk and the street where some bright-eyed city planner probably thought would have flowers, but actually just has bark mulch and the shiny glint of litter. he thinks of his ex's dad, asleep over a glass on the table. he thinks of the characters in lucia berlin stories, the desperate night errands to buy a fifth, how the other addicts told her she wasn't really one of them if she wasn't a wino. he only really drinks beer? he is fine when he doesn't drink? well, fine meaning miserable and desperately seeking escape. he feels another wash of guilt thinking about all the alcoholism screening assessments he's lied on. lately he's been putting down eight. that's one for four days a week, two for another two, and taking a day off. he tries to convince himself of this. he can’t remember the last time he took a day off. he buys two six-packs a week. he drank half a six-pack just yesterday. 
okay so what if he’s an alcoholic, he can’t manage otherwise. maybe he should have a drink before he leaves to see tony. is noon too early?
he takes inventory, he can only think of one time he started drinking alone that early in the day, and it was before a date. a first date, at that. he thinks that felt justified, but also is an incredible bad look. okay, no, he doesn’t need a drink now, doesn’t even want one. he thinks about Wendy in Little Fish, Jonny Appleseed, Jessa in Mostly Dead Things and it doesn’t make him feel better, but he is at least able to move back to what he was trying to think about –
this morning, coffee.
more coffee.
he decides, as usual, to forgo, breakfast, even though he still has more english muffins and even has the right brand of almond butter. in addition to all the wrong brands he's never going to touch. he thinks he probably won't get fucked until evening, so he doesn't want to give his digestive system any ammunition with that much time.
he takes inventory of all the things he needs to dispose of while his housemate is out of town this weekend.
the four empty beer cans under his bed.
the cake he made last week and never even cut.
the pie his friend gave him that he also never cut that is now starting to grow mold.
the remaining slices of bread that are too old.
the potatoes in the fridge he cooked and didn't like the texture of.
the soup he made on monday. but what if the soup is still good? probably, but he probably won't eat it so he should just let it go now. it makes him feel worse to consider how careful his housemate is about not wasting food, that thinking about what he might think washes him with yet another icy bucket of shame. if he discards it now, maybe his housemate won’t notice, or just think that he ate it. he feels bad, but not enough to actually make him eat it. 
he should go to the farm stand and buy produce tomorrow. or maybe he shouldn't because he's just going to compost most of it anyway.
the half a roasted sweet potato, that he weirdly had cut into circular discs rather than his usual wedges. actually, he will eat that still. sweet potatoes have become a go-to for him in the last few months. long-shelf life. they keep well after being cooked. and also, he pretty reliably still feels interested in eating them even after they’ve finished roasting. what kind of motherfucker can’t even be interested in eating food through the forty minutes it takes to prepare? they don’t do anything suspect to his shit, which is to say, he can’t see them again on that end. 
he takes inventory of all of the things he’s stopped eating because they come out identifiable in his shit. quinoa. corn. grapefruit. carrots. he thinks about the girl who lived with his ex-, who had her eating disorder diagnosed because her therapist noticed her hands had turned orange because she only ate sweet potatoes. how she had speculated Japanese sweet potatoes wouldn’t be as obvious. how it all came crashing together then for him how his hands had also been orange when he was in high school. for him, baby carrots. he tried to remember when he still ate bagged processed vegetables. 
he tried to remember what it was like before anyone had told him there was something wrong with him. before there was something wrong with him?
no, he remembers standing in the shower, circling around if he could be pregnant. he hadn’t had sex with anyone, but what if? he remembers having a doctor recommend he get tested for female athlete triad syndrome, how he still was new to interacting with doctors and didn’t realise they weren’t actually going to follow through at all on that. feeling like there was not anything wrong with him, that he was finally in control.
the dirty condom from a few nights, when he didn’t want to clean himself out, let alone clean the toy off afterwards. he laughs how he still doesn't have a trash can in his room. this seems the most reasonable of all on this list. yes, he’s an immature fag with no blinds and dirty condoms on his floor. this is a flaw he’s willing to lean into, to pretend he is loose and free and reckless. but he isn’t. he is so wound up in his head. he has practiced these worries too many times today already. the only kind of reckless he could actually claim is the four burn scars on his arms from cooking while drunk in the last year. which he worries people will ask if he did intentionally. 
what if he did do it intentionally? 
he doesn't want to be like this. the shame layers on, shame that he hates how he is, but doesn't change. no matter how rational he is, he cannot actually convince himself that no one cares. shame that he has no control over his shame. 
he has to leave in hour and half if he’s not going to be unacceptably late. he wonders if he can make it out of the house by then.
he heads for the bathroom. puts the fan on the 40 minute timer. worries his housemate will wonder what he is up to. tries to convince himself he already knows, that he does not care. he wants that, but he can’t convince himself. 
he’s also covered in sex-bruises all the time on his neck and shoulders and wrists and he does not hide them, and no one even says anything. does his housemate know that he is gay?
is he gay enough? 
he feels shame that he still uses the same beginner douche kit he bought years ago. he remembers the pang of jealously of learning about posh gays with a whole douche attachment for their shower head. what if he were that put together? 
he flips the toilet seat up, so it won’t get splashed, and tries to focus on relaxing his sphincter. 
he’s not actually ashamed of his body. except for the way his skin hangs loose on his abdomen, refusing to show his faint hard work of abs. except how his chest and legs are covered in red welts and scabs. except that he is covered with scars, most of them self-inflicted, which are visible enough that he feels constantly conscious of them, but not gnarly enough that people actually ever ask about them. except the way he has a bald spot right under his chin on his beard, how the whole thing is still pretty sparse, maybe he should just shave it but then he feels shame about looking pubescent. 
but he thinks he’s not ashamed of his bodily functions. he’s not afraid of his own shit. he thinks about the shame of the dirty condom on the floor of his room. he thinks about all the times he’s scraped his middle finger a circle around the inside of his rectum, feeling for any residual chunks to decide if he needs to douche another round. he thinks about the time after getting fucked that somehow he had shit all over his own feet, how his ex had gently gotten paper towels and wiped them off, gently, and wordlessly. 
and yet, it’s been years since he’s been on so much as a first date without cleaning himself in advance. it’s not that he’s afraid of someone being spooked when their cock comes out streaked, it’s just that it seems worth the relief to be able to avoid it. except that relief is fleeting. untrustworthy. whatever. he knows its what he needs to do in order to actually leave the house. he scrapes his finger around the inside, up through the second mouth, which yields to show it has nothing else to reveal, like Monty Hall opening the first door.
placated, he gets in the shower. he thinks about how freud would have had a heyday with him. 
he really doesn’t want to have to have that conversation. he thinks tony already seems to think he doesn’t eat. this isn’t quite true, but he is charmed by the simplicity of it. he feels some obligation to uphold that expectation, to be able to avoid eating in front of him. he wants to avoid the intimacy of having a conversation about his pre-sex routine, which seems only possible by keeping a very strict pre-sex routine. 
tony asked him recently to take a weekend trip with him. the travel. the prolonged company, sharing meals, the ruined veneer of being ready all the time. 
he could come up with five hundred reasons why he can’t go, but are any of them good enough to say to someone else? could he suffer through just a weekend? 
could he, 
maybe, 
even, 
have an okay time?
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threeletterslife · 5 years
Text
Prescient
→ [5/7] of the Glossary Series
→ summary: The tears roll down your cheeks for no reason. It frustrates you. Why does thinking of your future make you cry?
→ pairing/rating: taehyung x reader | PG
→ genre: lowkey 100% angst | coming of age!au
→ warnings: mentions of death
→ wordcount: 2.6k
♫: Nap of  a Star by TXT | Beautiful Pain by BTOB
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A lazy smile spreads across your calm face, stretching your lips slightly more than their usual stern line. Your legs remain crossed as you lean back leisurely, eyes fixated on the busy street ahead. Bustling people, cars zooming way past the speed limit, the light breeze and smoke-tainted air are your daily encounters; they’re what makes the city so cordial.
 You can take the time to notice every detail, every nitty-gritty aspect of your city life. Maybe you’ll spot a lady with half-curled hair holding a hot, chocolate muffin and a steaming paper cup of bitter coffee and assume she’ll be late for work. You can further assume that the muffin and coffee are for her boss — to appease him for being tardy.
 Maybe you’ll spot some cars honking at each other in the distance, and instead of analyzing the fuming drivers, notice the meticulous details of the black tires carrying their vehicles. Maybe you’ll spot several pigeons fighting over a half-eaten sandwich. 
 And then there’s your favorite part — counting cars. Not just any cars, but the red ones. Something about the color excites you. Sure, it’s the color of fresh, spilled blood. It’s the color of vengeance, scorching destruction and anger. Burning infuriation. But it catches the eye, and that was that. Besides, cars had always fascinated you. It’s a vehicle that can take you anywhere you want to go — if you had a little bit of patience and gas. There are thousands, maybe millions of places to visit, and to you, each car you numbered gave you an indirect experience of a new town, state or parking lot. So, sitting on the little porch of your apartment building, you’d count the red cars passing by. It was a tradition of your own.
 Just you, your city and the red cars. It helped pass the tedious days and took your mind off of stupid things from school. On rare days you were to get tired of counting, your eyes would wander around, resting on anything that a normal person would look past, but to you, it told a story.
 The abandoned lollipop that the ants were collecting near you? Maybe a little child dropped it and begged his mother for a new one — this time bubblegum-flavored instead of cherry that left a bad aftertaste on the tongue. Or maybe a clumsy teenager flung it because she was too lazy to find a trash can.
 The mysterious stain on the edge of the sidewalk? It could be a chewed up wad of gum that had been flattened out and darkened over the years. Or it could be the melted remains of a nice, chocolate ice cream.
 Those are the details you choose to see with such fastidious care. Or used to, anyway. Now, you just can’t seem to find the time to think, much less care about the small aspects of life. It’s been years since you’ve been able to count the red cars passing by your apartment building. Been years since you’ve been able to indulge in your delightful assumptions and stories about the city. Years since you’ve spent more than a couple seconds on that porch of yours.
 You yearn for the old days. The days of your youth where you could take the time to lose yourself in your far-stretched thoughts without worrying too much about the consequences of dilly-dallying.
 Now, everything seems to run on a tight schedule. Wake up at 5:30, eat, get dressed, go to school, come back home, do homework, eat, sleep only to wake up to do it all over again. It’s mundane, and it’s so not you.
 You’re a spontaneous soul — you’re not an organized robot. But hell, high school has even forced you to schedule your mental breakdowns. A particularly stressful day at school? Received a C+ on that presentation? (Public speaking had never been your thing.) You would come home after your classes, lock yourself in the bathroom and cry profusely (letting everything out) for exactly ten minutes before washing your face, fixing your hair and walking out of the room like you were completely fine. Any time over ten minutes would surely cut into your sleep schedule, which you learned should never be sacrificed.
 It’s not exactly living hell. You’re almost as familiar with mental breakdowns and average grades as with the city you grew up in. You’ve learned to become immune. Not exactly stronger, but quite tolerant.
 Besides, sometimes, right before you go to bed, you’d reward yourself with some time to think before drifting off to sleep. It was almost what you looked forward to every day. Just you, your pillow, your covers and your thoughts. But lying in the dark limited your ability to perceive objects and assuming their stories. So, often, you found yourself contemplating your own future — something quite unusual for you.
 You had never really thought about yourself. It was always something you noticed about others, not things you noticed about yourself. It was a nice twist, you suppose. Especially to think about what to do in college, or maybe even after that.
 What college would you go to? A community college for a happier but (possibly) less successful future and (probable) lower income? Or a prestigious college for a stressful but (plausible) rich future? Would you find love anytime soon? Would you have kids? If you had identical twins, would you dress them up in matching outfits? Would your future husband love you, or be in love with you? Would you love him or be in love with him? Would you be able to find an adequate job? Have a steady income? Would you live in an apartment? Or would you move away from your beloved city for your partner?
 The questions, worries and possibilities were endless.
 And those nights full of thoughts always ended in the same way. Your eyes would turn wet with unexpected tears, which would roll down, wetting your pillow in a steady fashion. You’d always blink in confusion and quickly wipe the tears away — it’s as if you can’t control your own emotions. Thoughtful nights ended in complete silence and puzzlement in your part. You went to sleep with a slight crease line to your forehead. But it was addicting to think, even worry about the future and you found yourself keep coming back, no matter how embarrassing it was to cry without control.
 High school passed by before your eyes. And you fared pretty well, in your opinion. Things were starting to get better. You still cried at any thought of the future, something you just assumed was some sort of dumb allergy at this point. But you were more relaxed and able to make more time for yourself.
 You met Kim Taehyung along the way, and he helped you find your spontaneity once more. Friendship turned into a relationship, and you were starting to see light in your future — even if you wept while thinking of it.
 “You shouldn’t worry too much about what’s to come, Y/N.” Taehyung smiles softly at you, encompassing both of your hands in his. “Don’t you know?” He squeezes your hands. “You’re always stressed because you factor in all the consequences of the future to every one of your actions in the present.”
 You nod, leaning in to rest your head on his chest. “I know. I’m trying harder to learn how to live in the moment.”
 “So… wanna count some cars?”
 You gasp, pulling away from your boyfriend. “But the English final is tomorrow! We have to study! If we fail that class —” Catching Taehyung’s look, you stop mid-sentence, smiling sheepishly.  “Sorry, it’s just hard not to worry.”
 “Y/N…” Taehyung laughs. “You’ve been studying for that final for months already, give yourself a break!”
 You huff. “Okay, okay. You know what? Let’s count cars. I call the red ones!”
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“Thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty —”
 “Will you stop counting out loud?” you laugh, lightly slapping Taehyung’s arm. “You’re literally flexing that you’re counting more cars than me!”
 “Well, I did play it safe. Red’s just not too common for a car color. Should’ve chosen silver,” Taehyung chuckles, tugging you closer to him. “We can always switch colors if you want.”
 “I’ll take my eight red cars with pride, thank you very much,” you reply, a grin pasted on your face as you lean your head against Taehyung’s shoulder.
 It’s silent for several minutes as both of you count the cars zooming past, and you relish in the peace. But your boyfriend nudges you slightly, softly squeezing your intertwined hands. You can tell he has something to say.
 “Hey, do you ever think about us?” Taehyung whispers.
 “Us?”
 “Yeah, like, us in the future, you know?” he clarifies, his voice soft and hopeful. “After high school…”
 “Of course I do,” you say, giving Taehyung a soft smile. You imagined the wedding, the children, even up to retiring together. Your mind slips past reality as you fall into the fantasies inside your head. You can almost smell the small, cozy home the two of you will share, feel the soft, pastel pink blanket for the baby. You can see Taehyung, slightly older, possibly with a well-trimmed beard, cuddling you in bed. The mattresses encompass your close bodies as the morning light floods through the glass windows. The curtains flutter from the light breeze outside and the birds chirp on a branch nearby, singing a bright tune to welcome you and Taehyung to a new day. It’s the epitome of peace, of happiness.
 “Y/N, baby, why are you crying?”
 You’ve done it again.
 “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Taehyung says, hugging you as he pats your back. “You didn’t have to think about us in the future if you didn’t want to. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to force you. Please don’t cry…”
 You’re just speechless, face buried in the comfort of Taehyung’s chest as tears wet your cheeks. “I… I—”
 “Y/N…” Taehyung breathes. “Is there something you want to tell me? Are you okay?”
 You almost contemplate telling him. But then again, he’ll worry if you do. So instead, you put a strong smile on your face and laugh. “No, don’t be sorry,” you say, tugging away from Taehyung’s chest as you attempt to wipe your tears off your cheeks. “I just get bad allergies these days. Must be the pollution, you know?”
 Your boyfriend looks at you skeptically, so you kiss his cheek. “Trust me, Tae. You only make me smile. You know that.”
 Taehyung sniffs but nods, bringing you into him. “I know…” He rubs small circles into your hand as you sink deeper into his arms. “Just promise me you’ll stop worrying so much.”
 “I’ll try.”
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Now, life is not so mundane anymore. You don’t give yourself the time to sit down and think — living in a rush cleared mountains of worries away.
 It’s been quite a while since you’ve cried for contemplating your future, been a while since you’ve counted cars too. Been a while since you’ve seen Kim Taehyung.
 You’re still with him — he’s going to propose sooner or later. But he hasn’t called you in a while, ever since he left the country for school. You’re too busy to notice though. You’ve found that if you half drown yourself with work, you’ll never have time to think, let alone eat or sleep.
 It’s a life that suits you though, living in a rush that is. Maybe you were just never meant to waste your time dwelling on insignificant details.
 You wake up when it’s still dark out, quickly getting dressed in silence and making your way to the kitchen for some coffee. While the hot drink is brewing, you open up your laptop to scroll through emails. And you only start sipping your coffee once you’re on your way to your part-time job.
 Every day is quite the same, but it’s almost as if you don’t notice — you have better things to do than reflect on that. It’s fun to hurry, to rush things, to challenge yourself to get everything done in such little time. It adds excitement to your life, which might just be why you crave it so much.
 You’re quite impatient now. You can’t stand having to wait for anything — especially pedestrian buttons to finally signal the lights to shine green. In fact, you’re rolling on the balls of your feet, waiting for the slow traffic light. It doesn’t help the fact that you know Taehyung is finally back and is waiting for you at a restaurant on the other side.
 You think you’ve waited for at least five minutes (you know for a fact since your trusty watch is always quite literally at hand). The light still shines an annoying shade of red. It’s strange that the same red that you used to love so much now staunches your urge to hustle.
 You’d hate to keep Taehyung waiting, especially since you suspect that he’ll propose tonight. You check your watch again, then look up at the traffic light. Still red. With a huff, you hastily look to your right to see empty roads. Shrugging, and without a second thought, you bolt off the curb, running to the other side, heart racing to meet Taehyung after so long.
 Every step takes you closer to your boyfriend, and you laugh to yourself because you realize you should’ve jaywalked sooner. A smile stretches out on your face. You hope Taehyung hasn’t been waiting for too long. You wonder if he’ll look any different from the last time you’ve seen him. You wonder if he’ll smell the same, the fresh scent of an open meadow. You wonder if your fantasies about the two of you together would come true. You wonder if he’s grown a beard, or if he’ll have a beard in the future. You wonder if you’ll decide on kid names in peace, or what furniture to furnish your shared home. You wonder if he loves you now and if he’ll be in love with you in the future. You wonder —
 But then there’s a screech, a scream. You don’t know if it had come out of your throat, or someone else’s. Then it crashes into you. 
Your body is flung across the rough concrete. You hear horrible, blood-curdling sounds of snapping, cracking. You hear your own shallow breaths. Others’ screams. You can’t really see anything. But you feel pain. Seconds pass. You can’t seem to register your own agony.
 Your sight keeps flickering from a black screen to a blurry outline of the black cement. Red is seeping through it. Red liquid, a similar shade to the cars you used to count. It’s hazy. Everything is. Excruciating, unthinkable torment. Like torture. As if you want it to stop, but it won’t. Every second your mind spends awake is like living hell. You don’t know if it’ll stop; if it’ll even stop.
 There’s a persistent ringing in your ears. You don’t know where it’s coming from. It’s like you forgot how to breathe. Your head feels like it’s being ripped apart by two large hands. Like they were striking your brain with a metal bat, but slowly, taking their time to see how long you would last. There’s still screaming, suffering, internal chaos.
 It’s torture. You can’t stand it.
 Then everything stops altogether.
 Your eyes are still slightly open, wet with hot tears from the last fleeting thoughts of a future with Taehyung you had just seconds before your death. The future you’ll never get to have.
 Maybe it was this point in your life that you had known, all along, subconsciously, was inevitable.
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—masterpost
—masterlist
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spearmirror5 · 2 years
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Oven Baked Pepperoni Pizza Sandwiches
Lay 4 slices of pepperoni on each of the 4 slices of bread with cheese. I’d love to try this recipe, but I hate bacon with pizza flavors (I’m odd I know). Should I substitute more sausage and pepperoni? And I had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch ALL of those days. We are family and friends. Our recipes are family favorites that use ingredients commonly found in your pantry. We know the importance of feeding your family a home-cooked meal and sitting down to eat together.
Oven Roasted Veggies
Ok, now, get ready to meet my new favorite way to enjoy pizza – pizza sandwich. Your favorite pizza toppings in a sandwich grilled to perfection. In fact, this is a quick way to enjoy pizza without bothering about making a pizza base. Have a seat at my table...let's chat, eat, and have fun! Finally, transfer the grilled cheese to a plate and cut it in half and serve. To make this easy to assemble at mealtime, freeze the English muffins and the cheese along with the sandwich topping. Of pizza sauce over the bread slice. Top with 2 slices of Canadian bacon, 2 slices of pineapple rings and 2 slices of cheese. Place another slice of bread over the top, butter side up. Cook for 3-4 minutes or until the bottom slice of bread is toasted. Carefully flip the sandwich over and continue to cook an additional 3-4 minutes or until that side of the sandwich is toasted. Remove sandwich to cutting board.
Brioche Pizza Sandwich
Repeat cooking the remaining sandwich. We usually butter our bread first. We butter one side of each piece of bread, while our griddle is heating up. Its totally just a made-up holiday anyway, right? Oh, wait, what am I saying–all holidays are “made-up” somewhere along the line, lol!
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The pizza sandwich, or panzerotti, has the same ingredients of pizza , butthe doughcompletely seals the ingredients. In my opinion, having no opening on the sides makes it even less of a sandwich, but I’m in the minority. And there’s another option if you have issues like me. Though in Canada, it might be a little easier to draw the connecting dots. Wow a fresh pineapple for $.99 is a great find! Transfer the grilled cheese to a plate and cut in half. Place another piece of bread on top of each of the sandwiches. Try switching out pepperoni for other tasty toppings such as sausage or Canadian bacon. What we ultimately love about this dish is that kids can make it themselves. Watch the video in this post of Jill’s 10-year-old daughter, making this recipe all on her own.
Recipe Summary Test
Provolone gives a more Italian taste to your sandwich. For this pizza grilled cheese, it was clear that the best selection of cheese to use was mozzarella to provide the full pizza feel. Next to ice cream, cheese is one our my most favorite things to eat! We love all kinds of cheese and will put almost any type on our grilled cheese sandwich, depending on the taste that we’re looking to get from the sandwich. These sound like such a fun grilled cheese. We love Hawaiian pizza too. Cut sandwich in half and serve immediately with a small sauce cup of warmed pizza sauce. Further place, 8 slice cucumber, 4 slice tomato, 2 tbsp potato, pinch chaat masala and 1 tbsp tomato sauce. On one of the slice spread 1 tbsp tomato sauce and on another 1 tsp green chutney. Combine two kid-friendly favorites—grilled cheese and pizza—to get this tasty lunch that takes just minutes to whip up. Put the desired number of muffins and cheese in separate freezer plastic bags; label and freeze. Thaw the English muffins at room temperature and the cheese in the refrigerator. Toast 8 English muffin halves.
What type of sandwich is burrito?
According to the NY State Department of Taxation and Finance, hot dogs and burritos are both considered sandwiches. The latter food item falls in the sandwich bucket because the tortilla makes it a “wrap,” and the NY state government believes that wraps are sandwiches.
Tear off pieces of mozzarella, and place over top. Fold dough over to enclose filling, but do not seal. Repeat with remaining dough, tomatoes, goat cheese, soppressata, and mozzarella . Bake until golden and cooked through, about 10 minutes. Let cool for at least 15 minutes before serving.
I’m passing this recipe to my mom.
Place 4 slices white sandwich bread on a work surface.
Make the dip in your Instant Pot, slow cooker or oven.
Oh my goodness if you want to dive into my archives and horrible photos, there are even more.
These Grilled Pizza Sandwiches are always a favorite. Tons of gooey melted mozzarella and loads of spicy pepperoni make these super simple grilled cheese sandwiches a staple lunch around here. Smother them in sauce after or simply serve with a side of sauce for dipping. I am a huge fan of sandwich recipes. It is one of the must dish i make often for my weekdays breakfast. The buttered side should be on the outside. Turn slices of bread over. Spread pizza sauce on each slice and sprinkle with cheese. Just cook a few minutes longer to make sure the cheese is melted. I found that these pizza pockets need the same twice-baked treatment that Kenji gave his pizza bianca in order to properly crisp and brown the bottom crust. This grilled cheese recipe is a whole lot of pizza love in one bite. Layers and layers of cheese and pepperoni, seasonings and herbs. Dill pickle bacon grilled cheesehas always topped my list of grilled cheese sandwiches and then I met the pizza grilled cheese.
I’m having Morrisons pizza. Spent the day with my 87 year old mum who kindly gave me a pre packed supermarket sandwich for lunch so you’re not missing much here 😂
— Carolyn Beeston (@Cazzcat) December 25, 2021
This is a burgertopped with bacon and sandwiched between what appear to be two microwaved personal pizzas. This fun and easy dessert combines two of my most favorite things- Brownies and Ice Cream! They have the added bonus of the waffle texture- perfect spots to be filled by creamy ice cream! These easyBrownie Waffle Ice Cream Sandwichesare great for weekend treats.
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benjamingarden · 4 years
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Yogurt + Flour = The BEST English Muffins You've Ever Had!
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These muffins are one of the easiest things to make that I've ever made, use only 2 ingredients, and are ready in less then an hour.  What can be better then that????  While I don't know that I can actually call them "English muffins" because there is definitely a difference in ingredients, they look like them but they taste sooooo much better. I stumbled upon a recipe that wasn't in English but looked intriguing.  I figured out the measurements and made it.  While it was definitely very good, I knew it could be even better.  I adjusted the ingredients just slightly, made them a bit bigger, and ta-da!  It resulted in some superb little muffins.
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I thought this recipe may be especially important right now, while much of the country is quarantined and trying to make do with the food they have in their house.  There is no kneading, no complicated instructions, and no experience making bread required. Honestly, anyone can make these. If you want to make more than 8 of these muffins, I don't think I would double the recipe because it could get difficult to work with since it's quite sticky.  Instead, I would make 2 separate batches.
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What You'll Need:
self-rising flour (I never keep this on hand, so don't sweat it if you don't either.  Instead, I make it by adding baking powder and salt to all-purpose flour - amounts listed below)
yogurt (I used non-dairy coconut milk yogurt so any type you have on hand will do. If you only have Greek yogurt on hand I would guess you may need to add a couple tablespoons of milk or water to it to thin it out, but I've not tried it so I'm not positive.)
a large mixing bowl
a sifter (I used a mesh strainer.  I have not made it without sifting but I believe it could probably be done with good results - it would likely make it a more dense crumb.)
a wooden spoon or rubber spatula
a skillet (I used non-stick but you don't have to.  If you're using anything else you would want to brush a tiny amount of oil on the skillet before putting the muffins in.)
a lid that fits the skillet
a sharp knife
a spatula
oil (only if not using a non-stick skillet)
a silicone brush, piece of cloth, or a paper towel (only if not using a non-stick skillet)
wire cooling rack (if you don't have one you can use an oven rack, a toaster oven rack, or a roasting pan rack in a pinch)
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How To Eat
They are their absolute best the day you make them.  If you eat one shortly after making them you may not be left with any leftovers.... That being said, what we've discovered is that once they are a day or more old they are a bit more dense (no yeast = no air pockets) making them hold up beautifully for breakfast sandwiches, breakfast pizza or mini pizzas.  Toast or grill them first and then top and enjoy! Some ideas to use them include:
Toast them - If they happen to last longer than once you remove them from the skillet, you can cut them in half and toast them just like an English muffin.
Sliced and any topping added - jam, nut butter, nutella, cinnamon & sugar, butter, whatever your heart desires.
Sandwich - They would be perfect for making a breakfast sandwich out of.
Breakfast Pizza - almost like an open faced breakfast sandwich with scrambled eggs, chunks of cooked ham or sausage, and topped with cheese put under the broiler until the cheese is melted.
Eggs Benedict - they would be the perfect bread to add the poached egg, Canadian bacon, and bechamel sauce to.
Mini Lunch Pizza - a little tomato sauce, a few pizza toppings and topped with cheese put under the broiler until the cheese is melted.
On to the recipe!
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2 Ingredient Homemade English Muffins
Makes 8 muffins
3 cups self-rising flour (alternatively, use 3 cups all-purpose flour + 4 1/2 teaspoons baking powder + 1 teaspoon salt and whisk together)
2 cups yogurt (as mentioned above, dairy or non-dairy regular yogurt)
2 Tablespoons oil (only needed if not using a non-stick skillet)
Add the yogurt to a microwave-safe mixing bowl.  Microwave 35-50 seconds, or until warm.  Stir with a spoon or spatula.
Sift the flour (or flour mixture) into the yogurt.  With a wooden spoon or rubber spatula, carefully stir the flour in, working the outside of the bowl to the inside of the bowl.  The dough will look shaggy and be sticky.  Once the flour is almost completely incorporated, using your hand, turn the dough a couple of times in the bowl and then dump out onto a lightly floured counter.  Mold and turn a couple of times just until you can mold it into a fairly smooth log about 11 inches long.
Using a sharp knife, cut the log in half.  Cut each half in half and then again, cut each of those in half so you have a total of 8 pieces.  (the dough is very forgiving - if you accidentally make some too large you can remoe a piece and add it to a smaller one to create uniform pieces)  Gently roll each piece into a little ball, using a little flour if needed, but don't add too much.  Lay the ball on the counter and press it down lightly, creating flat sides on the top and bottom (see photo below).  Repeat with each piece.  Allow to rest for 15 minutes.
Pre-heat an uncovered skillet over low-heat for 4-5 minutes.  Once it's ready, brush with a teaspoon of oil if not using a non-stick skillet (use a silicone brush or even a cloth or piece of paper towel).  If you are using a non-stick pan, oil is not necessary.  Add as many muffins as will fit in the pan without touching.  They do rise a little and need some space to do so.  Cover and cook for 12 minutes.
Remove the lid, with a spatula flip the muffins, cover and cook an additional 12 minutes.  Once the 12 minutes is up remove the muffins to a wire rack to cool.  Continue with the remaining muffins.  **there may be a little moisture in the pan from the steam that builds up, it's fine.  it will not affect the muffins.**
Allow to cool at least 10 minutes before eating.  If you cut them open too soon they may be a bit doughy.  (not a bad thing....)
To store, once cool place in a Ziploc bag or covered container and leave on the counter for up to 5 days or freeze in a freezer safe bag or container for up to a month.
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the dough is a little shaggy once mixed
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create an 11-inch long log from the dough
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slice the dough into 8 pieces and gently roll each piece into a ball, flatten slightly
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flip the muffins after 12 minutes
Yogurt + Flour = The BEST English Muffins You've Ever Had! was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)
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twobusycooks · 6 years
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Make Ahead Monday #1
In an effort to avoid entering into yet another quesadilla rut (who am I kidding, they are delicious), we dove into a round of batch cooking freezer-worthy vittles.
Smitten Kitchen’s Cauliflower and Caramelized Onion Tart
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The impetus for this dish was the whole wheat tart crust (more like a pizza crust than the pastry called for in the recipe) we pulled out of the freezer in a fit of NYE cleaning and the perfectly-sized head of cauliflower hanging out in our fridge. We also had a small carton of cream remaining from a plan to make Christmas cookies that never came to be. Between the caramelized onion, the roasty cauliflower pieces,  and the cheese(s!) -- Gruyere and parmesan and mascarpone -- there is a whole lot to love. It went well for our NYE dinner with a glass of champagne. If we were to replicate this for future freezer worthy meals I would lighten it up (less cheese and dairy products) and add a bitter vegetable to cut the sweetness (kale and radicchio both come to mind). The tart crust is a lighter alternative to the pastry crust and worked well with the filing.
Smitten Kitchen’s Beef Empanadas
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(Notice a theme? Smitten Kitchen’s web site has a “Freezable Meals” category!) The empanada filling is in the style of the “Empanada de Pino” we enjoyed in Chile: beef, olive, raisin, and egg (+ tomato and spices). The filing smelled amazing and the entire package is both attractive and tasty. The recipe makes twelve fairly large pastries. Would we make these again? Well, I would happily enjoy a second batch but I wasn’t the one laboriously rolling out the individual rounds of dough into perfect little hand pies. If we wanted to do this again it might make sense to (1) make a double batch and (2) invest in a tortilla press.
Bub’s Deluxe Leftover Pasta
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We have a toddler who is testing us with his picky eating. This dish is delicious (how can he resist!? and if he does I’m happy to eat it myself) and used up leftovers in our fridge. I was more than happy to enjoy a small bowl in front of him tonight in an effort to entice him to eat some for dinner.
Ingredients:
* ground beef (leftover from empanadas)
* diced canned tomatoes (leftover from empanadas)
* mascarpone and parmesan (leftover from cauliflower tart)
* steamed string beans (on hand since they are a favorite around these parts)
* pesto (leftover)
* macaroni noodles
Scrambled Egg Cups
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These are easy breakfast fare for the adult crowd and good eating any time for the toddler set. The recipe is beautiful in its simplicity and flexibility. For this batch:
* finely diced red bell pepper (sautéed)
* finely chopped kale (sautéed in the pan with the peppers after the peppers have softened a bit)
* 10 eggs, beaten
* splash of milk
I whisked everything together and poured into greased muffin cups. Baked at 350 for about 25 minutes. Next time I will try a higher oven temperature because I have done these before and didn’t have to bake them that long.
(These make easy breakfast sandwiches if you pair them with an english muffin and some sliced cheese.)
Chickpea Flour Banana Bread (modified from this recipe)
Chickpea flour is one of my new cooking obsessions (chickpea flour banana pancakes -- so good). We packed a couple of bananas in the freezer before we went away for holiday, and they weren’t good for anything more than a baking project. We decided to try a different chickpea flour-banana product. My ingredients were as follows (as modified):
1/2 cup white flour
1 cups chickpea flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon fine sea salt
2 large eggs
~1 cup mashed very ripe bananas (about 2 medium bananas)
~1/2 cup applesauce (banana + applesauce should equal 1.5 cups)
3 tablespoons maple syrup
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
We baked at 350 for about an hour. I haven’t tasted it yet but my mom had a second helping which I presume means it is edible (I have low standards for the food I feed our son).
Naturally Leavened Sourdough Bread (modified from this recipe)
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This is an impractical new hobby given all the time constraints in my life, but I really enjoy having a sourdough starter bubbling away in my fridge (or on the counter when I am trying to kickstart it into gear). I have generally had good luck with recipes from King Arthur Flour so used their website as a starting point, modified somewhat by snippets of bread science my husband recalled from Peter Reinhart’s books or his recent google searches. Our goal was to make the KAF recipe turn out a loaf with more of a sour tang (longer, slower rises in the fridge for at least part, including one overnight stint). In the end we overproofed the bread for its final rise and the end result was flatter than we wanted, though it still looks pretty in the picture. It’s still cooling so I can’t report on how it tastes. For future reference, the one change we made to the ingredients from the printed recipe was to sub in rye flour for one half of the whole wheat flour.
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madlinaart · 4 years
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The 7-Day Fat-Fighting Menu
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7 Days of Fat-Melting Meals
Meet your new nutrition secret weapons: nuts, eggs, salmon, low-fat dairy, peanut butter, avocado, spinach, berries, whole grains, and dark chocolate. Each of these foods works in a different way to zap fat and make you sleeker, says Neva Cochran, RD, a nutrition consultant based in Dallas. The high protein content of nuts and eggs helps curb hunger and boost your calorie burn, meaning you'll eat less (and lose weight). "The calcium in dairy products trims your waist by increasing the activity of enzymes that break down fat cells. It also reduces levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that causes your body to hang on to belly flab," Cochran explains. Whole grains, leafy greens, and berries are loaded with filling fiber, which has been proven to reduce your calorie intake. The mono- and polyunsaturated fats in peanut butter, avocados, olive oil, and salmon prevent abdominal fat from accumulating in the first place, research shows. And dark chocolate? "Indulging in a little bit every day keeps cravings under control, which helps you stick to a healthy diet," Cochran says. Get the ab-flattening benefits of these foods starting today.
Try the recipes on the following pages, aiming for a total of 1,500 calories a day. Mix, match, and slim down!
7 Breakfast RecipesChocolate and Peanut Butter Smoothie
In a blender, combine 3/4 cup frozen berries, 1/4 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt, 1/2 cup low-fat chocolate soy milk, and 2 tablespoons reduced-fat all-natural peanut butter. 355 calories
Egg-White Muffin Melt
Scramble 3 egg whites. Cover half of a whole-grain English muffin with 1/2 cup spinach and the other half with 1 slice reduced-fat cheddar cheese; toast until cheese is melted. Add egg and 1 slice tomato. 270 calories
Berry Parfait
Top 1/2 cup low-fat Greek yogurt with 1/4 cup low-fat granola, 1 teaspoon slivered almonds, 1 tablespoon honey, and 1/2 cup berries. 303 calories
Cinnamon-Apple Oats
Prepare 1 packet plain, instant oatmeal with 1/2 cup skim milk. Microwave 3/4 of a small apple, chopped, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and 1 teaspoon brown sugar. Top oatmeal with apples and 1 tablespoon chopped walnuts. 255 calories
Mexican Egg Scramble
Scramble 3 egg whites with 1/4 cup canned black beans (rinsed and drained) and 1-ounce reduced-fat cheddar cheese. Top with 2 tablespoons salsa, or to taste. 191 calories
Peanut Butter Bagel
Toast a whole-grain bagel and spread with 1 tablespoon reduced-fat all-natural peanut butter. Cover with slices from 1 apple. 335 calories
Berry Waffles
Top 2 whole-grain waffles with 1/4 cup low-fat plain yogurt, 1/2 cup mixed berries, and 2 teaspoons maple syrup. 246 calories
7 Lunch RecipesTurkey-Avocado Melt
Place 2 to 3 slices roasted turkey, 2 slices avocado, and 1 slice low-fat pepper jack cheese between 2 slices whole-grain bread. Grill in skillet. 303 calories
Penne with Feta and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
Toss 1/2 cup cooked whole wheat pasta with 1 cup sauteed spinach and 2 tablespoons each pine nuts and low-fat feta. Sprinkle with capers and chopped sun-dried tomatoes. 378 calories
Guacamole Burger
Cook a veggie burger according to package directions. Mash half an avocado with 1/2 cup salsa. Top burger with avocado mixture; serve on a whole-grain bun. 396 calories
Udon-Tofu Soup
Combine 1/2 cup cooked udon with 1 cup spinach and 1 1/2 cups hot vegetable broth. Add 1/2 cup cubed tofu, 1/2 cup chopped mushrooms, and 1 teaspoon soy sauce. 226 calories
Spinach Flatbread Pizza
Spread 1/3 cup tomato sauce on 1 naan. Top with 2 cups spinach, 1/4 cup low-fat mozzarella cheese, and 1 tablespoon slivered almonds. Bake at 350 degrees F. until melted. 366 calories
Zesty Black Beans
Cook 1/2 cup each black beans, chopped bell pepper, and chopped onion and 1 chopped jalapeno in a pan with 2 teaspoons olive oil for 5 minutes. Place over cooked brown rice; top with 1/4 avocado, sliced. 305 calories
Chopped Chicken Salad
Place 3 ounces chopped chicken, 2 tablespoons crumbled low-fat blue cheese, 1/2 cup chopped cucumber, and 1 tablespoon each chopped pecans and dried cranberries on 2 cups lettuce. Toss with 2 tablespoons vinaigrette. 356 calories
7 Dinner RecipesMaple Salmon with Greens, Edamame, and Walnuts
Makes: 4 servings
Ingredients 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon finely chopped shallot 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 teaspoons snipped fresh rosemary 4 5-ounce fresh or frozen skinless salmon fillets, about 1 inch thick 1 6-ounce package fresh baby spinach 1/2 cup cooked shelled edamame 1/2 cup red bell pepper strips 1/4 cup chopped walnuts, toasted
Directions 1. In a small saucepan, combine maple syrup, vinegar, lemon juice, mustard, shallot, salt, and pepper. For the dressing, in a small bowl, stir together 2 tablespoons of the maple syrup mixture and the olive oil; set aside. 2. For the glaze, heat the remaining maple syrup mixture to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered, about 5 minutes, or until syrupy. Remove from heat; stir in rosemary. 3. Preheat broiler. Place fish on the greased, unheated rack of a broiler pan and brush with half the glaze. Broil 6 to 7 inches from heat for 5 minutes. Turn fish over; brush with remaining glaze. Broil for 3 to 5 minutes more, or until fish begins to flake when tested with a fork. 4. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine spinach, edamame, pepper strips, and nuts. Drizzle spinach mixture with dressing; toss to coat. Spoon salad onto plates; top with fish.
Nutrition facts per serving: 460 calories, 33g protein, 18g carbohydrate, 28 g fat (5g saturated), 3g fiber
Baked Veggie Omelet
Makes: 6 servings
Ingredients Nonstick cooking spray 2 tablespoons butter 3 cups bite-size bell pepper strips, sliced mushrooms, and thinly sliced zucchini 1/3 cup chopped onion (1 small) 1/2 teaspoon dried basil 1/8 teaspoon black pepper 1/2 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons tomato sauce 10 egg whites 5 eggs 1/4 cup water 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese Tomato sauce warmed (optional)
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly coat a 15-x-10-x-1-inch baking pan with cooking spray; set aside. 2. In a large skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Add vegetables, onion, and dried basil. Cook and stir 5 to 8 minutes. Add pepper and 1/4 teaspoon of the salt. Remove from heat; stir in tomato sauce; keep warm. 3. In a medium bowl beat egg whites, eggs, water, and remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt with a whisk until combined but not frothy. Pour eggs into the baking pan. Bake, uncovered, 7 minutes, or until eggs have just set. 4. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine cheeses; set aside. 5. Cut the baked eggs into six 5-inch squares. Using a spatula, lift each square from the pan and invert onto a plate. Divide warm vegetable mixture among omelets; top with cheese. Fold omelets diagonally in half, forming triangles. If desired, drizzle with additional tomato sauce.
Nutrition facts per serving: 170 calories, 14g protein, 7g carbohydrate, 10g fat (4g saturated), 2g fiber
Strawberry Chicken Salad with Warm Citrus Dressing
Makes: 4 servings
Ingredients 4 medium skinless, boneless chicken-breast halves (about 1 pound) 1 14-1/2-ounce can chicken broth 2 1/2 cups strawberries 1/3 cup orange juice 2 tablespoons salad oil 2 teaspoons finely shredded lemon peel 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 teaspoon sugar 1/2 teaspoon chili powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 6 cups torn spinach, watercress and/or other greens 1/4 cup chopped walnuts, toasted
Directions 1. Sprinkle the chicken-breast halves lightly with salt and pepper. Pour chicken broth into a large saucepan; add chicken. Bring broth to a boil; reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, or until chicken is tender and no longer pink. Remove chicken from broth with a slotted spoon and cool slightly. 2. Meanwhile, in a blender or food processor, combine 1/2 cup of the strawberries, the orange juice, salad oil, lemon peel, lemon juice, sugar, chili powder, salt, and black pepper. Cover; blend or process until smooth. Transfer to a small saucepan. Bring just to a boil. Simmer, uncovered, 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. 3. Thinly slice chicken breasts. In a large bowl, toss together salad greens, remaining strawberries, and chicken. 4. To serve, drizzle warm dressing over salad. Sprinkle with walnuts.
Nutrition facts per serving: 287 calories, 31g protein, 12g carbohydrate, 14g fat (2g saturated), 7g fiber
Whole Wheat Pasta with Ricotta and Vegetables
Makes: 4 servings
Ingredients 8 ounces dried whole-wheat or whole-grain penne pasta 2 1/2 cups broccoli florets 1 1/2 cups asparagus or green beans cut into 1-inch pieces 1 cup light ricotta cheese 1/4 cup snipped fresh basil or 1 tablespoon dried basil, crushed 4 teaspoons snipped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed 4 teaspoons balsamic vinegar 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 garlic clove, minced 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 2 large ripe tomatoes, seeded and chopped 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan or Romano cheese
Directions 1. Cook pasta according to package directions, omitting any oil or salt. 2. Add broccoli florets and asparagus or green beans during the last 3 minutes of cooking; drain. 3. In a large serving bowl, combine ricotta cheese, basil, thyme, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, garlic, salt, and freshly ground pepper. 4. Add cooked pasta and vegetables to the ricotta mixture. Add chopped tomatoes. Toss to combine. Sprinkle each serving with grated cheese; serve immediately.
Nutrition facts per serving: 361 calories, 16g protein, 55g carbohydrates, 9g fat (2g saturated), 7g fiber
Southwestern Black Bean Cakes with Guacamole
Makes: 4 servings
Ingredients 1/2 medium avocado, seeded and peeled 1 tablespoon lime juice Salt Ground black pepper 2 slices whole-wheat bread, torn 3 tablespoons fresh cilantro leaves 2 garlic cloves 1 15-ounce can black beans, rinsed and drained 1 canned chipotle pepper in adobo sauce 1-2 teaspoons adobo sauce 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 egg, beaten 1 small plum tomato, chopped
Directions 1. Mash the avocado in a small bowl. Stir in lime juice; season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and chill until ready to serve. 2. The place was torn bread in a food processor. Cover and process until the bread turn into coarse crumbs. Transfer to a large bowl; set aside. 3. Place cilantro and garlic in the food processor. Cover and process until finely chopped. Add the beans, chipotle pepper, adobo sauce, and cumin. Cover and process until beans are coarsely chopped and mixture begins to pull away from the side of the bowl or container. 4. Add mixture to bread crumbs. Add egg, combine, and shape into four 1/2-inch-thick patties. 5. Lightly grease the rack of a grill pan. Place patties on the rack. Cook over medium-high heat for 8 to 10 minutes, or until patties are heated through, turning once. 6. To serve, top patties with guacamole and tomato.
Nutrition facts per serving: 178 calories, 11g protein, 25g carbohydrate, 7g fat (1g saturated), 9g fiber
Thai Chicken-Broccoli Wraps
Makes: 6 servings
Ingredients 12 ounces skinless, boneless chicken-breast strips 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt 1/8 teaspoon black pepper Nonstick cooking spray 2 cups packaged broccoli slaw 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 3 tablespoons creamy peanut butter 1 tablespoon reduced-sodium soy sauce 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic 3 10-inch whole-wheat tortillas, warmed
Directions 1. Sprinkle chicken strips with garlic salt and pepper. Coat a skillet with cooking spray. Add chicken; cook over medium-high heat for 2 to 3 minutes, or until no longer pink. Remove from pan; keep warm. Add broccoli and 1/4 teaspoon of the ground ginger to skillet. Cook and stir for 2 to 3 minutes, or until vegetables are crisp-tender. 2. In a saucepan, combine peanut butter, 2 tablespoons water, soy sauce, minced garlic, and the remaining ginger. Heat over low heat until smooth, whisking constantly. 3. To assemble, spread tortillas with peanut sauce. Top with chicken strips and vegetable mixture. Roll up each tortilla, securing with a toothpick. Cut in half; serve immediately.
Nutrition facts per serving: 191 calories, 18g protein, 16g carbohydrate, 6g fat (1g saturated), 2g fiber
Greek Quinoa and Avocados
Makes: 4 servings
Ingredients 1/2 cup uncooked quinoa 1 cup of water 2 Roma (plum) tomatoes, seeded and finely chopped 1/2 cup shredded fresh spinach 1/3 cup finely chopped red onion 2 tablespoons lemon juice 2 tablespoons olive oil 1/2 teaspoon salt Spinach leaves 2 avocados, pitted, peeled, and sliced 1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese
Directions 1. Bring quinoa and water to a boil in a small saucepan. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 15 minutes, or until liquid are absorbed. 2. In a medium bowl, stir together quinoa, tomatoes, spinach, and onion. 3. In a small bowl, whisk together lemon juice, oil, and salt. Mix with quinoa. 4. Place spinach on plates with avocado slices and quinoa. Sprinkle with feta.
Nutrition facts per serving: 332 calories, 7g protein, 27g carbohydrate, 24g fat (5g saturated), 8g fiber
7 Fat-Fighting Snacks
4 whole-grain crackers and 1-ounce reduced-fat cheddar 103 calories
1 banana dipped in 1/2 ounce melted dark chocolate 176 calories
Low-fat pudding cup topped with 2/3 cup berries 146 calories
2 tablespoons hummus with 4 baby carrots 66 calories
10 tortilla chips with 2 tablespoons spicy black bean dip 135 calories
1/2 cup low-fat ricotta cheese with 1 cup sliced berries and 2 teaspoons honey 209 calories
1 slice toasted cinnamon raisin bread with 1/2 ounce melted dark chocolate and 1/2 sliced banana 223 calories
1 cup frozen strawberries blended with 1 tablespoon lime juice and 1 teaspoon honey topped with 1 tablespoon coconut 137 calories
1/3 cup dried apricots dipped in 1/2 ounce melted dark chocolate and 1/4 ounce chopped pistachios 210 calories
1/2 cup fat-free berry sorbet 120 calories
2 cups popcorn topped with 1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese 84 calories
2 hard-boiled eggs with 4 whole-grain crackers 178 calories
1 flour tortilla topped with 2 chopped sliced avocado and 3 tablespoons black beans 197 calories
1/2 cup blueberries mixed with 1 tablespoon honey and 1/2 cup low-fat plain yogurt 182 calories
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1-50
Oh boy, here we go. 
When you die, what do you want done with your remains? I’ve always said that I wanted to be mummified, but I suppose that’s not really my culture. The other thing I always said when I was a kid is that I wanted my head removed, and shrunken and sent to my best friend who absolutely does not want it. But more realistically speaking, I suppose I’d like to be planted with a tree. A cool tree. 
What is the weirdest thing you own? I don’t even know how to answer that. I own a lot of weird things. A small piece of the sidewalk from outside of what used to be Friendly’s. Chapstick that tastes like pickles (that I won’t try). A pepper shaker that was allegedly a murder weapon, although technically my step-mom owns that one. 
Have you ever played with a Ouija Board? Nope. If the ghosts/demons want to talk to me, they can find a more creative way. 
Do you believe in ghosts? Sometimes. I believe in possibilities. 
Have you ever had an encounter with things that go ‘bump in the night’? I mean, there was a while where I was very convinced my English teacher was an actual demon, but I have sense decided that she probably wasn’t. And there was that time I was absolutely entirely convinced that the aliens had landed outside and were now inside my house doing things. I heard a whoosh, and then a landing thud and then a door opening, and I was panicking in a whisper voice on the phone until 5 am when I finally heard them take off again so it was safe to go pee. But that was probably just paranoia. 
Do you have a Deja Vu story? Dude, i feel Deja Vu all the time. And then promptly forget about them.
Do you still trick-or-treat? I’m 24, I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to. 
Have you ever had a black cat cross you, and have a streak of bad luck afterwards? I have a black cat walk in front of me often, his name is Minuit and I love him. But no bad luck. Because a cat existing near me is automatically good luck. 
Least favorite thing about Halloween? The fact that I am always too lazy to actually do a good costume. 
Favorite Serial Killer? Like, objectively this is a weird question. I’ve always been partial to Aileen Wournos but I can’t really tell you why. I’m always interested in our local serial killer, Kendall Francois, who happened to work at the local middle school long before I ever went there. But like, he wasn’t interesting psychologically speaking. Just because I know a lot of people who knew him. 
Favorite thing to do in a Graveyard? Look at the names, and imagine the people. I love names. 
Favorite Halloween Movie? Halloweentown! And Twitches!
Favorite Ghost Story? Ooooh, this is a good question. I remember as a kid I really liked the stories of ghosts in the White House. Those are fun. 
Have you ever contacted a loved one from beyond the grave? Nope
Your biggest fear? I always struggle so much with this question, because there is only one thing I’m consistently afraid of and that’s the movie Cinderella. It’s the fucking cat. He’s terrifying. But my other fears kind of come and go. Like I used to be terrified of spiders, but now I pick them up and study them all the time. But other times, I’m still afraid of them and won’t go near them. Like, it comes and it goes. And I used to be afraid of the dark, but I’m mostly over that now. I used to be afraid of a lot of things. But now… I can never think of much. Heights. But only intermediate heights. Like the height of play ground equipment. Not the height of airplanes, that’s entirely fine. So really, the answer is the movie Cinderella. I’ve never made it all the way through. 
Favorite Pumpkin flavored food? Pumpkin muffins! And pumpkin hot chocolate from Starbucks. 
Candy corn or Popcorn Balls? candy corn
Trick, or Treat? both, at the same time
Best halloween you ever had? probably that time we dyed Steve’s head red by accident and then it rained and it looked like blood was dripping down, or the year I went trick or treating with that girl who may or may not be a soul sucking demon 
Do you go to Corn Mazes ? Not every year, but I had fun when I did. 
Haunted Houses? Honestly, I haven’t really been. And I would kind of like to, but at the same time, I have to be really careful because I’m not supposed to let my adrenaline levels get too high. 
Do you own any human remains that aren’t your own? I do not. 
Have you ever smashed a pumpkin? Probably?
Do you like Apple Cider? God, yes. 
Do you live near any ‘spooky’ places? I’m 100% sure I do, but I don’t entirely know what they are. I mean, there’s a building across the street where the lights always flicker. And also, the road I grew up on is like dark and secluded and full of trees and old people and the perfect setting for a horror movie.
Do you ever get goosebumps? Mostly from being cold. 
Have you ever seen a dead body apart from a funeral? I saw one being taken out of one of the neighbors house and put into an unmarked van that I hope was the coroner’s But it was more the body back instead of the body. 
Have you ever broken into an abandoned house or building? Nah. 
Do you believe in Vampires? (not sparkly ones, kids) I don’t not believe in them. 
Your scariest memory? Tbh, that alien night I was talking about earlier was terrifying. But also, when my creepy stalker ex showed up outside my class and scared me out of my brain. That was the most anxiety inducing terrifying nonsense ever. That whole week. That whole damn semester. 
Ever heard white noise from a turned off tv or radio? Not that I know of. But tbh, I’m oblivious sometimes. 
Weirdest Coincidence? For awhile in high school, and even after, every single time something good happened to me, something of the same magnitude but bad would happen to one of my friends. 
Have you ever bobbed for apples? I think maybe when I was little?
Ever had your fortune told? Not really, no. 
Favorite skin disease? Ummm, this feels like a weird and ablest question. 
Do you see figures in your Peripheral vision? Nah, I see cats. Your brain naturally fills in gaps when you can’t see all the points, like a connect the dots. And it tries to put in things that are likely to be there. I have four cats. 
Have you ever seen someone die? Not the actual death, but this summer I watched my grandmother as she was getting very close to death, and if I had stayed another day or two, I would have seen it. I didn’t see the moment, but I saw the process of dying. 
Have you ever caught something large on fire? Just the oven. 
Favorite ‘fictional’ bad guy or monster that you wish was real? Tbh, I’m half temped to say Hannibal because I would love to have him in therapy to discuss that one comment he made about how eating people was going to make time travel happen that like no one ever talks about. But also, that would be a horrible idea. 
Do you believe in multiple dimensions or worlds?  As usual, I believe in possibilities. 
Ever held a Seance? Nope. 
Ever made a potion of any sort?  that really depends on your definitions there. when I was little, I thought it would be cool to make potions like in Harry Potter and I would take a big “cauldron” and dump a shitload of water and spices and stuff in it 
Ever worn ‘funeral attire’ outside of a funeral? that depends again on defintions. like… the last funeral I went to I wore a purple bridesmaids dress. 
Have you ever made a blood pact? no
Have you ever worked a spell? no
Do you believe in curses? yes
Ever had an animal or pet see something that you can’t? mostly just the ghosts of bugs they think they can catch 
Have you ever gotten lost in the woods at night? Nah, but I did during the day once. I mean, we weren’t really lost. We knew where we were. We just couldn’t figure out how to get back to where we should be. 
Have you ever caught a photo of a ghost? Nah, yo uwouldn’t even be able to tell, my pictures are shit
Have you ever played Bloody Mary? nah, I don’t want to die
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sight-seeking · 7 years
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Day 3
June 24th, 2017 Saturday
4:30am: I wake up and am utterly confused as to why I’m up so early. But I do not question it, and instead, as the kids say, “go with the flow.”
5:10am: I load batteries into my camera as I plan to do go on an exploration.
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5:41am: The best time to go exploring is super early, when it looks like it’s about to rain. London is absolutely, beautifully quiet right now. I go through Hyde park, taking a deeper look of all the things I walked past the day before. I’ll have to walk around like this always. There are pigeons everywhere and they come in all colors.
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As I walk around the lake I see swan, casually nesting at the water’s edge. I hesitantly take pictures of them. Swan are just geese is disguise. And we all know that geese are the true embodiment of evil. Well, everyone except Canada (joke.) But these swans are so chill? I am amazed.
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I walk up to Kensington Palace and take pictures. The highlight of my trip arrives, only a day into arriving. I catch the perfect picture of Queen Victoria, in her carved glory up on her throne. There, on the top of the statues head, is perched a bird.
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I don’t care what anyone says, seeing a bird sitting on the head of Queen Victoria made all of what happened the day before worth it.
7:08am: I get bored of the park and start walking into the city. I get lost for a bit in a Kensington neighborhood, but I use the navigation maps to find my way. It’s nice to have guides throughout the city. I really need to get an oyster card.
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I learn how to hire a bike. You can ride it for 30min, but you must bring it to a nearby station or you get charged 2 pounds for however late it is. I ride around to the Serpentine lake and river. I take pictures on the bridge and breath in the early morning air. I admire the birds.
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*I saw a cute bird’s nest in the middle of the river and I had to admire it’s construction
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7:38am: I go back through the park and find the princess Diana Imperial fountain. I take a few pictures, of course. As I leave the fountain, I see two monks in orange robes walk around with smartphones and earbuds. It could be for language translation, or for Spotify. Either way, the sight amuses me.
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8:11am: I am in the kitchen, finally sitting down to eat breakfast. They have cereal, (British) biscuits, and toast. There’s also juice and coffee. It’s quaint and all but in my mind, I’m longing for eggs and bacon.
9:00am: I head out to go to the British museum. I go to the Gloucester street station, get myself and Oyster card. It takes me about 20min and 5 different stops before I figure out where I’m going. One thing I find humorous about London: If you’re not careful and walk-savvy, the cars will run you over, no hesitation. These are some ridiculous drivers!
20 minutes as noted, I exit the station and look about. A homeless man walks up to me and ask me for money. My anxiety kicks in and I worry that this is a pickpocketing attempt. I politely tell him I can’t help. He politely walks away and I feel awful. A minute later, a young lady tries to sell me something. I can’t understand her through her accent, so once again, I politely decline. My pace quickens. Why must I look so approachable? I think I have the opposite of RBF.
Through either luck or naivety, I end up at the British library instead of the British museum. It’s huge, and there are people crowd around in the square out front. They check my bag on the way in. I take a moment to get my Barings straight, admire the tower of books located in the center, and watch the people milling about. I still don’t have a sim card, I’m relying on whatever guest wifi is available to really use my phone. I log into the wifi and figure out how to get from the library to the museum. This time I try to take a bus. I like the double decker buses, they move quickly, and everywhere has something interesting to see.
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2 minutes later, after realizing that I’ve taken the wrong bus, I end up in Camden Market, the wrong borough. But I’m not disgruntled, It’s amazing! It’s the best kind of tourist hub. There are souvenir shops and chain restaurants everywhere. Cheaply-made, overpriced souvenirs mind you. But it’s just so cool to watch! People from all around fill the streets, everyone speaks a different language. I take it all in, excited. I note a conveniently located pizza hut and then make my way to the nearest tube station. By this point I trust the trains more than the buses.
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(But not the train stations. I can’t remember which, but one of them had a flight of stairs that was 193 steps! I saw people crowded around the lifts but I was impatient. My stubbornness proved valuable. As I plowed up the stairs, I went past older, less shapely tourists who leaned against the walls sweating and panting. I made it up to the surface triumphant. Still, my feet and the rest of me deeply regret that choice.)
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Somehow, I then end up at the London Covent Garden Market. I’m confused, but I don’t complain. It’s beautiful! There’s flowers decorating all the building. There a lovely restaurants and good smells everywhere. There are also tourists here. But this market is a bit classier than in Comden town. Old women sit in swinging chairs adorned with white flowers. People carry around heavy bags of shopping. Instead of loud music pouring through stereos and speakers, there are live street musicians. They sing romantic songs. I’m enthralled.
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As I walk through more of the shops, I notice street performers doing magic tricks. One man in particular was only wearing union jack underwear and socks. There’s a large crowd around him. He plans to lie down on a bed of nails. I stand around for a minute, take a picture, and go on my way. I smell German frankfurters nearby and I want one so badly! But I’m at loss for time, and the day is only moving further away. I have to go.
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10 minutes, a tube ride, and some walking later, I end up at the British museum. It’s even bigger than the library! Once again, I go through a line and bag check. They let me in, unsuspecting. I have a big backpack! I could be dangerous. But no, they take a glance at me and think, “She looks like a world-wary, naive child. She’s fine.” They are not wrong.
I try to take a picture of the museum, when two girls ask me to take a picture of them. I oblige. They were laughing and saying, “We saw your jacket, and it said ‘Georgia,’ so we were like, ‘She speaks English!’ We were so relieved.”
I blush at my own un-intentional Americanism. I have failed to assimilate properly.
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After I help the girls, I then enter the ginormous, historic building. It is magnificently classy on the inside. I feel under-dressed. If I wasn’t trying to be practical, I would be more tasteful in my attire. Oh well. I go up the stairs and notice a nice little food court down below. I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I’m starved.
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I spend about an hour and a half traveling back in time. I begin in Mesopotamia, and explore into Nubia, Egypt, Greece, and Rome. I take pictures of things that interest me, namely gold embellishments and miniature carvings. I have so much admiration for the craftsmen who created them. And, dead people. I take a lot of pictures of those.
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(More photos to be added in a later post)
Many tourists move in the way, so I must time photos as best I can. I gasp every time I see an artifact that I recognize, either through art class or by my own personal scours through art books. Seeing what I’ve only seen in books before…It makes this trip come to life for me. Every punishing mistake is made up for by the value of what I am free to discover.
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I take a break from ancient Rome and go to the food court. By now I’ve reached that weird point of hungry where I’m not even hungry any more, just wanting. I buy a coke and a chocolate muffin and eat outside on the steps. Since I’ve already been through the bag line I can go into the museum easily. I don’t finish my muffin. It takes like chocolate, and looks lovely, but it’s kind of plain—like England (joke.) I put in my backpack for later. After resting my feet, I notice a sign that says, “Do not sit on the steps.” I glance at the hundred or so people sitting on the steps. I snap a picture of the sign for the humor of it all, then go back inside.
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I admire the remains of High Egypt and Rome for another hour. Tourists pour around the Rosetta stone like it’s made of gold. People from various countries all come for this one item of glory and historical significance. I am determined to take a picture to prove what I have witnessed. One tall man stands in front of me for what feels like ages. But, as soon as he moves away, I slip a picture in. which such a treasure in cache, I am close to calling it a day. But I realize that it’s only about 3pm. I still have time to do one more thing (that includes getting lost.)
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I look at my map and I suddenly realize that Hyde Park is only about a mile away from Buckingham Palace.
3:45pm: I head to the palace.
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4:30pm: I am at the palace.
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A lot happened in between those two moments but they were the same, familiar shenanigans that had been taking place all day. At this point my feet were screaming and the hunger that I had thought didn’t exist was now lashing out at me. I took the liberty to go to the Queen Victoria monument and sit on a ledge. Then I snapped pictures to my heart’s desire. It felt good to rest a moment and take everything in. With every new monument, more and more people seemed to pour in, trying to take a piece of the same-life changing experience. They walked around with selfie sticks and bantered with friends or family. I take a selfie, and then instantly regret it. I’m not neat and put together. I’m tired, and weather-worn, and the camera takes up on all of this.
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There is no sign of the Queen. I am utterly disappointed by this circumstance. (I shake my fist in anger!)
I sit, studying the statues of the monument. A man, by a lion, holding a hammer. A woman, by a lion, holding a scythe. I studied the Black, Roth-iron gates embellished with gold, and the union jacks in the wind, and the water, streaming from the fountain. I just wanted to be there all day.
But food was at home. So, I had to leave.
4:50pm: I called it a day and start working my way back to the hostel. So much walking is involved. I’m nearly in tears from the soreness. The sky tries to rain, and then decides not to. As I walk across the street to Hyde park, I hire a bike and pedal most of my mile-long journey home. After a wrong turn or two, I find my way.
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5:50pm: I’m finally back. I make myself a cup of tea and I sit down to finish my chocolate muffin. People are starting to cook dinner. My mind goes back to the pizza hut. I’m longing for American food, or something like it. Something familiar after a day of getting lost and meeting strangers.
6:00pm: I love Astor Hyde Park but something in here is making my allergies flare up and I don’t appreciate it. The same thing happens on the tube. My nose and eyes have been watering uncontrollably. I grab a hundred paper towels from the kitchen and take an internet break.
7:41pm: There is no pizza hut near me. I could go to a local place but…ugh. I give in to my nervousness. I’ve been in the company of strangers all day, I need something familiar. I would have to take a bus to get to one at a reasonable time. To pizza, or not to pizza?
8:00pm: To pizza.
10:30pm: TWO AND A HALF HOURS. I CANNOT. FIND. A PIZZA HUT. It should’ve only taken 30 minutes at most. The closest on was at the other end of Hyde park. But?? I can’t find it. I did not ask for much. All I wanted was a simple, chain store, pizza. I walked and biked for hours. That is all. I’m too far away from any other pizza place, and I’m too weary to ask for directions. I find a McDonalds and order from there. I wanted the pizza too much, and the universe said no. I still have to walk two miles from the park to get home. Five minutes into leaving, I realize I forgot my straw and condiments. I go back for the straw, but then I don’t bother for the ketchup. I’ll survive.
(Also, there was a festival going on in the park earlier? I don’t know what was going on but there were a lot of English girls with flower crowns and people were playing music and drinking a lot so I assumed it was a holiday. All I know was that I felt awkward walking through and had to take a sharp detour around them.)
10:49pm: I had left when it was daylight, not it’s darkness. I should be glad that I don’t get kidnapped. I probably would’ve been too tired to fight well. But at that point I was saltier than my fries so if anyone had tried to touch me, I probably would’ve sucker-punched them in the face. To add insult to injury, while I’m half way across the park, the bag in my hands rip in half and the contents within fall to the ground. The sandwich is safe in its cardboard container. But…the fries…
England…why….
11:00pm: I’m in my room, on my computer. Someone in the building next to us set off fireworks. I can see the lights through the windows of my ceiling. They fill the sky, and then boom loudly into the air, dissipating.
I decide it’s time to go to bed.
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varietyofwords · 7 years
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Heartbeat, Part Eight (Chicago P.D.)
Title: Heartbeat
Chapter: Part Eight
Fandom: Chicago P.D.
Rating: T/PG-13
Author’s Note: Apologies for the severe delay in updating. I tried to get back into the mindset needed to finish this fic; I’m not sure if I’ve been successful. Either way, I appreciate you reading the update and sharing your thoughts after all these months of waiting.
He can tell the kale has become lodged against the roof of her mouth by the way her jaw clenches. Her left cheek bulges as she slides her tongue around, her eyebrows as she tries to dislodge the particle of food, and her hand stops piling the assortment of healthy vegetables onto the end of her fork. Instead, she starts pushing the fork aimlessly around the plastic container and glancing over at the half-eaten sausage, egg, and English muffin held in his right hand.
“Sure you don’t want me to get you one?” He asks tilting his head over towards the food truck parked down the street from where they sit. A line has begun to form as the hospital’s support staff – the custodians, the orderlies, the security guards – change shifts, but he’s more than willing to stand in line for her. To save his unborn son from being subjected to the kale, arugula, and beets concoction that Helen cooked up for Natalie to  eat during her breaks as a gesture of goodwill after her less than enthusiastic reaction to learning her grandson would soon have a half-sibling.
“No,” she replies in a tone that, to him, feels slightly icier than the temperature they’re being subjected to as they enjoy their breakfast on a bench outside the ambulance bay. “This is good for him. Brain food.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” He questions as he glances from the plastic container in her hand to watch her grimace as she jams the fork into her mouth. As she smacks her jaw and looks a hell of a lot like the cows he used to see on those long drives up to his grandfather’s cabin in Wisconsin. Not that he’d ever tell her that. Especially since he’s still clearly on her bad side, still hasn’t managed to win her over with all his attempts to talk to his brother today.
“Hmm,” Natalie replies as she tries to swallow the vegetables down, “can’t hurt to try to give him a few more brain cells so he can think before he speaks.”
The comment stings even though he knows she’s got a point, knows that he hasn’t exactly been in her good graces since Jay told her that he told his brother to leave Erin. Which isn’t at all what he meant – something Jay should know given the way their dad treated their mom after her diagnosis – even if that’s actually how the words came out. Even if that is another example of how Will needs to learn not to stick his foot in his mouth.
And her words dig at the thoughts and worries he’s kept buried that something will go wrong. That he’ll manage to screw all this up. That Owen is so wonderful and perfect and amazing because he wasn’t really around enough early on to mess him up. That Natalie was right to push him away five years ago. That all the work he’s done to be a better doctor and a better boyfriend and a better brother and a better man doesn’t matter because he still manages to step into at every turn.
And, suddenly, the taste of the breakfast sandwich has soured in his mouth. The look of it in his hand – the paper wrapper pressed up against the gold band on his finger – looks utterly unappetizing, and his gaze shifts to look away from it as his arm falls down to his side. There’s a trashcan just past the entrance to the hospital, and he mumbles something about throwing away their trash and getting back to work when he feels Natalie’s hand brush against his, when he glances down and sees her hungrily eyeing the half-eaten sandwich in his hand.
“Here,” he offers thrusting the sandwich towards her before she can make up some lie about only wanting the sandwich because it’s a waste to throw away good food. And he can’t help but bark out a laugh as she eagerly takes the sandwich in her hands, as she shoves nearly a quarter of the sandwich into her mouth in one bite and lets out a moan of pleasure.
“I’ll get some napkins,” Will tells her as some of the bacon fat dribbles down her chin and she moves to wipe it away with the back of her hand. She gives him an appreciative nod, crams another bite into her mouth as he walks away towards the food truck.
His hand immediately slides into the pocket of his coat; his fingers grasping around the ten dollar bill and assorted change he shoved in there after his first loop through the line in front of the food truck as he settles on buying her another sandwich. But his elbow remains bent and locked against his side when the sliding doors of Chicago Med’s entrance open, when a man with those same features that stare back at Will in the mirror every morning steps out into the open-air walkway.
Will’s feet falter in their steps forward as those eyes that glazed over while making a hasty exit from the cafeteria, that hardened while standing outside the room of Natalie’s patient for nearly three hours meet his. And those eyes that Jay so clearly inherited from their mother are quick to dismiss him, to look anywhere but at him as Jay moves past him and towards where Natalie sits near the pedestrian entrance to the employee parking lot.
He considers letting his brother go, letting their words – spoken and unspoken – fester in the space between them, and letting himself continue to be the coward he knows Jay has always considered him to be. The flakey guy who runs at the first sign of commitment; the older brother who’d rather not rock the boat and the good thing he’s got going with their dad.
But he’s not that guy again. Not since someone detonated a bomb in the middle of the emergency department back in 2015. Not since Natalie agreed to marry him. And he ends up following after Jay, reaching out to grab his little brother’s arm in an effort to make him stay and listen to him so the two of them can get it all out in the open.
It’s probably not the smartest idea to grab someone in the CPD who used to serve in the Army. Not with the way Jay’s arm muscles flex under Will’s grip or the way his hand immediately moves into a defensive stance. And, for a brief, moment Will wonders if Jay is going to hit him. If he’s going to end up spending the rest of his shift in the doctor’s lounge with an icepack over his eye and Goodwin telling him to leave his personal problems at the door. But, despite the threat, Will’s hand remains clamped on his brother’s arm, and he refuses to look away when Jay’s gaze snaps to him.
“I’m not like Dad. I’m not,” Will hisses out. His voice is low and terse – an effort to keep his private life somewhat private from the colleagues milling – but he knows Jay can hear him because his younger brother’s eyes harden in response. Because Jay’s features twist into that look of disbelief and displeasure their mom used to give him when he’d make fun of eight-year-old Jay for wetting the bed, when he’d tell her that Dad was at his baseball games rather than the truth about where the old man went on Thursday nights.
“I know I used to be. I know that you don’t believe I’ve changed because of how things went down with Nina and Natalie. I know I let you down all your life and that I wasn’t there when you needed me most,” he continues yet the terseness of his voice breaks as the memories creep in. As he remembers getting a call from the owner of the restaurant and mini-mart up by Grandpa Sam’s cabin expressing sympathy for the Halstead family’s loss before explaining that Jay had stopped by and near cleaned the mini-mart out of alcohol. That he’d been seen popping pills in his truck between rounds at the local gun range and seemed to be taking his anger out on the few who call remote, northern Wisconsin home year round.
And Will hadn’t been able – or, more accurately, willing – to deal with that. Had abandoned his brother and told himself it was because Jay had abandoned their family by joining the Army; had only called him up after Will learned from the Canaryville gossip mill after the sister of an old high school friend had looked him up in New York City that his brother had joined the Chicago police force and seemed to be doing well from himself. Wasn’t going to services at St. Gabriel’s, but how many people their age from the area really were?
“But I’m not Dad,” Will asserts. “And I would never want you to treat Erin the way Dad treated Mom. I’d help her bury your body up in Wisconsin, if you even tried.”
The promise – or, more accurately, the poor attempt at a joke – seems to fall flat because Jay’s gaze remains resolute as he tries to yank his arm from Will’s grasp. The effort on Jay’s part is pretty feeble, though, because Will knows his brother could shake him off, if he really wanted to. Could have him pinned up against the wall faster than Will ever managed when they were kids. And Will takes it as a sign to keep going, to try to extract his foot from his mouth once and for all.
“All I want is for you to think this through,” Will informs him. Those standing around the entrance to the hospital are staring now, and Will only has to tilt his head a fraction to the right to see Natalie cautiously watching them. Her hand is pressed against the side of her stomach; her brows are furrowed in concern. But the sight barely registers because Will’s heartbeat is pounding away in his head along with the memories of what losing Mom did to their family. With the memory of watching his brother’s world crumble once more on the night Erin showed up, shoved her engagement ring in Jay’s hand, and told him that she didn’t want to be with him anymore.
“Because I know what happened to you when we lost Mom and I saw what happened when Erin ended things and if she...if she…” Will trails off because, for all his training as a doctor and all his experience being the one to break bad news, he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence. To watch his brother try to push the pain in his eyes back behind the wall of stoicism that life with their dad and in the Army built inside him. “I don’t want to watch you go through that again.”
“I won’t,” Jay immediately hisses back, and Will nods his head because he hopes his brother is right. He hopes that in a year or two or twenty, he’s still wondering how his dorky little brother managed to end up someone as hot and as cool as Erin Lindsay. But he’s been through this enough with his patients and with his own family to know that life doesn’t go the way you want.
That his brother could wake up in a year or two or twenty and realize he missed out trying to make up for the sins of their father with his own son. That the women he hopes will one day be his sister-in-law doesn’t deserve that animosity in her life. Not after this uphill battle.
And that’s all he wants his brother to think through, to consider the long-term ramifications of what will hopefully be a short-term problem. Because, thankfully, Jay’s not like the way Will used to be or the way their father largely still is. He’s the kind of guy who never gets far when he tries to run, who puts others before himself, who has been dealt shitty hand after shitty hand and still manages to be the best guy that Will knows. To be the kind of guy that Will hopes Samuel one day sees him as.
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jesshneil · 7 years
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The Average Endometriosis Morning from Hell!
04:00am
I awoke to a faint pain in my abdomen that came in waves. 
It’s not that bad.
So I rolled over and began to drift back to sleep. Zzzz. 
05:00am
My eyes slammed open to a sudden stabbing pain in my pelvic region.
Gotta get to some pain relief.
Lazy fuck, you should know better, now look where we are!
Thanks brain.
I rolled out of bed and squatted down beside it, trying to let the stabbing pain settle. I placed my palms on the cold floor trying to breath in and out deeply as the cold sweats began to sink in.
05:05am
I peeled my sticky palms off the now warm tiles and tried to stand up.
STABBY MCSTAB STAB!!
I guess we are walking crouched over.
I made my way to the kitchen, it takes thirteen small steps to get there. Mornings like these make those thirteen steps the longest thirteen steps of my life. I count them as I go, I know them so well I count down instead of counting up.
I made it, where’s my prize?
I reached to the back of my pantry for some meds and shakily popped two out of the packaging.
Don’t do it, you’ll end up just throwing up, eat something, anything!
The weight of this realisation brought me back to my awkward squat with my palms placed tenderly back on the floor, my back leaning against a cupboard, trying to let the stabbing settle to something constant.
05:10am
The thought of a muesli bar made my guts start to rise to the back of my throat. I was already nauseated by all the food in the pantry staring at me.
Bread, just eat bread, it’s tasteless and expands so you don’t have to eat much of it.
But I really don’t want to throw up right now!
05:15am
After arguing with myself I decided that the English muffin left in the freezer from a week ago will have to do. I convinced myself to make a move for it and the sooner I did it the sooner I could take the pills left on the counter.
It’s frozen, you’ll have to microwave it.
STABBY MCSTAB STAB!!!!!
Nope, back on the floor I go. I’m on my knees trying to turn myself into a ball of some sort. I can feel my heart beat faster through my temples and stomach at this point.
The microwave is right there, you can just reach up and put it in and get back to this position!
Thoughts of how someone in this much pain can be totally fine crossed my mind. How am I not dying? I wonder if dying hurts less than this?
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
I make a move for the microwave, put it in for 30secs and return to my ball, waiting for it to beep. I feel a bead of sweat trickle down the side of my face and disappear as it leaves a trail on its way down.
BEEP!
You have to get it out of the microwave.
I lean my body-made-ball’s shoulder against the side of a cupboard, burying my face into my knee caps.
05:20am
I wait for a stab to pass and get up, grab it and…
Nope, it smells like poison.
No brain! You need to eat it before you take the meds!
Toast it! I will make you throw up if you don’t toast it!!
Remaining awkwardly hunched over I grab a knife, cut it in half and shove it in the toaster. I press the button down. It doesn’t stay down, why the fuck isn’t the toast- my eyes hit the off electrical socket.
You’re going to have to lean over the counter and turn it on.
I smile at the situation, arms crossed leaning against the counter top putting pressure on my abdomen. Hands still shaky, head still sweating. I wait for a gap in the stabs and turn it on, returning to my original position, arms crossed, leaning my guts against the counter. I wait for another gap and press the toaster button down. My heartbeat has moved to feeling like it was hitting the inside of both ears.
05:25am 
POP!
Thank fuck!
I grab one half and return to the floor-ball position, taking tiny bites of this stupid English muffin that I really don’t feel like eating. Each bite feels like a three course dinner meal, there’s so much of it!
I’ve been beaten by many things but now I can say I’ve been beaten by an English muffin.
05:30am
Satisfied that it’s all staying down I quickly down the meds with tap water and take the thirteen small steps back to bed where I lay on my side, wrapping my now totally sweaty body up in my blanket. It’s both too hot and too cold at the same time. With one free hand I scroll through Facebook and start googling stupid things:
Can endometriosis cause death?
How long does codeine take to kick in?
Why does microwaved English muffins smell like poison?
Does endometriosis change one’s sense of smell?
06:00am
I finally stop tossing and turning in pain and drift back to sleep. In case anyone is wondering, thirty minutes, codeine takes thirty minutes to kick in on half an English muffin.
______________________
This happens at least every month, sometimes more, sometimes I do throw up, sometimes the meds don’t work, sometimes I can’t make it to the kitchen and settle with riding the pain out on my bathroom floor. It’s a lottery of possibility! 
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nicosroom · 7 years
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Nico’s “52 list”
The aim of the 52 list are to set down a “to-do” list of sorts in order that 
I don’t get overwhelmed by everything I’ve ever wanted to do (and therefore never do anything); 
and to weed out things I don’t actually want to do with my life (as in, if I don’t do it at the end of 2017, I have to decide if I want to put it on next year’s list or just admit I’ll never do it). 
Here it goes--
1. Learn to poach eggs - perfecting them is an ongoing process, but I have the basic technique down; follow the saga on Twitter
2. No sugar in smoothies or oatmeal for two weeks - January 23-February 5. My plan is to maintain sugar free smoothies, but some oatmeal just needs sugar, okay?
3. Practice blow drying my own hair approximately once per week. Despite how little I do it, I really do enjoy wearing my hair straight once in a while. Typically, I have it dried straight at the salon after a haircut. I’m far too clumsy and impatient to do it myself. But, this year, I want to practice so that just maybe I can do more things with my hair than letting it air dry and throwing it up in a bun when I get tired of it falling in my face. 
4. Try Penzeys Spices.  It was everything. 
5. Day trip to Yellow Springs, OH.
6. Visit Old Schoolhouse Winery in Eaton, OH.
7. Visit Hanover Winery in Hamilton, OH. It may be the best kept secret in Butler County. 
8. Buy an immersion blender at the KitchenAid summer sale.  I bought an immersion blender and then some. 
9. Use sumac in a recipe. Almost two years ago, Catherine and I were cooking from Ottelenghi’s Jerusalem cookbook for my shoddily run cookbook club. It seemed like a ton of the recipes called for sumac. After a couple attempts, Catherine finally located it at the international market and she gave me ziploc snack-bag filled with sumac. Have I used sumac one single time since she gave this to me? No. This has to change in 2017.  It took a while, but I have now. 
10. Save $15 per week. Is it cheating if I automated this?
11. Buy a membership at the Cincinnati Art Museum. Student memberships are $30 per year. That’s like the smallest fraction of my discretionary spending budget that I could ever imagine. 
12. Make cannellini bean and lamb stew from Jerusalem. Check it out. I’ve been cooking out of this book Spring 2015 and it took me all this time to realize they sell lamb stew meat in very neat packages in the regular meat section at Kroger. This whole time, I keep looking for it at the international market, but they only have fancy lamb cuts that seem overwhelmingly expensive. 
13. Take more baths. I recently have been rereading The Bell Jar. Old Esther Greenwood may be kooky, but Plath sure made sure Esther knows a thing or two about taking baths.  **This is basically over. I probably took three baths in the month and a half after I made this list. Now, I’ve moved into an apartment that doesn’t even have a tub. Too bad! 
CANCELLED 14. Go speed dating.  Jen & I did a little research and we found that “Predating” seems to be the only speed dating service in the area. And they separate their groups into “25-35″ and “27-39,″ charge $39 to participate, and hold a session like once a month at a really inconvenient time, like 7 pm on a Tuesday. I’m highly dissuaded. Ladies should be able to speed date for free. The way I see it, reparations for sexism and patriarchy.
14. Make a leche flan from scratch. It’s my very favorite imperial dessert. I devour it at Filipino holiday parties and I always save room for it when I eat out at an American Mexican restaurant. But, I should try to make my own, at least once. 
15. Download and create a profile on a dating app.  Check out my assessments of Coffee Meets Bagel and Tinder.
16. Watch Blue Hawaii
17. Try some place new for brunch once a month. 
January: Sleepy Bee Cafe (Blue Ash (Cincy))
February: technically I failed. I only went out for brunch one time and it was at First Watch. But, at least, I tried a new location? The one in West Chester. 
March: Spice Kitchen (Cleveland)
April: Triple header - Holly’s Homemade Eats & Sweets (College Corner, Indiana); Bellevue Bistro (Bellevue, Kentucky); Hang Over Easy (Clifton (Cincy))
May: Sugarcreek Restaurant (Sheffield Village, Oh)
June: Rising Sun Cafe (Yellow Springs, Oh)
July: Treaty City Cafe (Greenville, Oh)
August: another new First Watch location (Secor Rd, Toledo)
September: another new First Watch location (Montgomery, AL)
October: Chik’n Mi (Louisville, KY); Keystone Bar & Grill (Covington, KY location)
November: Doodles (Lexington, KY)
December: Asiana Korean Restaurant (West Chester, OH). I guess this isn’t quite a brunch place, but I ate an delicious eggy beef stew, Yukaejang and we ate there at 11 am, brunch time.  
18. Visit downtown Waterville, OH. It’s a small town adjacent to the city of Toledo. I pass through it whenever I drive back and forth to the city from my mom’s new home on the farm. One of these days, maybe I’ll check out the local business scene, the metroparks, and the possibilities. 
19. Get a desk that I like and will use. Although people say I have a nice desk, I disagree. I found it near the dumpsters at the apartment complex next door. It does its job, but I don’t love it.
CANCELLED. 20. Complete a Whole 30 reset.  Though I remain curious, after much research, I decided that the reset is a terrible idea. 
20. Watch Up. 
21. Go to a live NFL game. Hopefully not the Bengals…unless they play a really interesting team…or, I can’t afford anything else. 
22. Learn hollandaise sauce. Look. 
23. Make an eggs benedict dish for breakfast -or lunch/dinner, I suppose. Perhaps a classic with English muffins, but maybe something like a salmon or fried green tomatoes benedict. 
24. Make my bed every day for two weeks. I’ve read that this is a habit of highly successful people. I think it would be really good for my “working from home” vs. napping problem. 
25. Make a TV-watching schedule. In college, I read some advice that you should schedule when you’ll watch TV and you should only watch TV then. I read that before the days of Netflix instant video. With Netflix, and especially after I moved into my own place, I formed a habit of “watching TV” as background noise while I do any number of things - wash the dishes, cook, fold the laundry, wash my face. As such, I get a lot of stuff done and also take in a lot of pop culture at the same time. But, I also see where this is an extremely counterproductive habit. Such as when I start a new 43 minute episode, but it only takes 20 minutes to wash dishes…and I watch the whole thing…Specifying the TV watching time gives you something to look forward to and provides some space to relax (unlike watching TV while simultaneously doing chores). The schedule should also put an end time on your TV watching. I’m gonna try for an hour Sunday-Thursday, likely between 8-9pm and make Friday and Saturdays open for watching a running list of movies I’ve intended to see. Check out my schedule and what I’m watching!
26. Make roasted pine nut hummus from scratch. Big brand pine nut hummus is so good. But after those hummus recalls by both Sabra and Trader Joe’s, we are in a trust no one situation. I shelled out $24 for a 3lb bag of pine nuts at Costco and I’ll be making my own hummus all year long. 
27. Do a cleansing face mask once a week for four weeks. 
28. Exfoliate lips once a week for four weeks. Will 27 & 28 stay weekly habits?? 
29. Color (in my adult coloring book) for 15 minutes before bed, Sunday through Thursday night for two weeks. I started 2017 hoping this could be a nightly habit. A late night here, a phone call with a friend there, a “oh, I forgot to make a lesson plan” on this hand, or a “just-too-tired today” on the other and suddenly I haven’t touched my $22 coloring book in more than two weeks. Alongside some of the above plans and habits on this list, maybe I can do this if I am a little more flexible and realistic. So I’ll shoot for work nights for two solid weeks and see if I can then turn it into a more definite routine. 
30. No tech after 10 pm, Sunday through Thursday for one week. 
31. Read Ta-Nehisi Coates, “The Case for Reparations” from The Atlantic. You’d think this is easy; it’s an article from The Atlantic, after all. But when I made a PDF of this thing it was 62 pages long. That feels like a short term commitment and I’ve got to put it on the calendar one of these days (after comps).
32. Cook a Julia Child recipe. I made her hollandaise. I like the way she makes one feel empowered to do it, like its the most natural thing in the world. Not like Masterchef, where you’re doomed to fail from the start. 
33. Go on a solo weekend trip. Details here.  
34. Go to one of those miles long/wide antique malls. I pass by them often on my highway drives around the state and I fantasize about completing my Corelle and Pyrex butterfly gold collections. Somehow the timing is never right - I’m in a hurry, or they’re not open, or whatever excuse I can think up. Some local possibilities: Ohio Valley Antique Mall (Cincinnati’s largest, apparently, in Fairfield), Riverside Antique Mall (over 100 dealers on the scenic Ohio River; Cincinnati), and Heart of Ohio Antiques (according to their website, America’s largest antique destination just an hour away from me in Springfield). 
35. Visit Grand Lake St. Mary’s/Celina, OH. I passed by this lake/state park last summer when I drove up US 127 until it connected with US 24. It’s a grueling drive compared with taking the fast-paced highway, but I saw so many tiny towns that might be interesting to visit. Grand Lake St. Mary’s looks like a nice beachy getaway. Though it probably gets busy and touristy in the summers, I bet the weekdays are quiet enough for me to enjoy a day or an overnight here. Perhaps this is a good candidate for that solo weekend trip I noted above. 
36. Make tom kha gai. Thai coconut soup with mushrooms (and maybe chicken). So good, so good. 
37. Go to IKEA. I was impressed. 
38. Go to another distillery on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. In 2012-13, I went to Four Roses, Wild Turkey, Woodford Reserve, and Maker’s Mark. In 2014, 2015, and 2016 I took trips South in which I drove right through all the places in Kentucky where I might stop off to finish the trail, but I did not stop once - not even for Jim Beam, which is right next to the highway! In 2017, I should go to one, at least. Will I finish the Bourbon Trail or my dissertation first? Stay tuned! 
39. Whole 30 Prep: Phase out yogurt for two weeks. I haven’t bought any yogurt since. The question remains, when will I tackle cheese?
40. No alcohol for two weeks. 
CANCELLED. 41. Whole 30 Prep: No grains for one week.  
41. Go see Fiona the hippo at the Cincinnati Zoo. 
CANCELLED  42.  No peanut butter, soy, and legumes for two weeks.
42. Go to Miami football and hockey games. I lived in Oxford for 5 years and did neither of these. My only incentive once I move to Cincinnati will be crossing it off this list. 
43. Make a meal with a spaghetti squash. I’ve eaten spaghetti squash of course, but I’ve never bothered to roast/dismantle/serve one on my own. This year, I’m finally making that Southwestern Stuffed Spaghetti Squash recipe I pinned about three years ago. 
44. Ride the carousel at the Banks in Cincinnati. I tried to do this a couple summers ago, but I showed up 30 minutes after closing time. Time to try again! And some of the carousel characters are pigs! 
45. Find red wines that I like. I’m a dry white wine drinker - which puts me in some difficult situations sometimes. Working wine tastings since 2013, I’ve learned some favorites - Raffy Grand Reserve Malbec, Haka Tempranillo, Brion Cabernet. That is, I’ve learned expensive taste. I haven’t stopped working on this, but here are few winners so far. 
46. Eat at J. Austin’s. It’s this restaurant I/we pass by every time we drive through Hamilton on the way to somewhere else. One of these days, J.Austin’s should be my/our destination, just to check it out. 
47. Get a couch. I’ve managed to live seemingly on my own for five years and never have bothered to get a couch. I was walking around the Salvation Army on April 7 and I impulsively bought a couch.  
48. Visit the American Sign Museum - I’ve made it to most of Cincinnati’s museums by now, but not this one. In 2017, it’s time. 
49. Visit two new U.S. states - I chatted with a guy in the dating app about his goal of visiting all 50 United States before he turns 50, prompting me to list the states I’ve been to and steal his idea entirely. After eliminating all the states I’ve driven through but had no meaningful interaction with (Mississippi, North Carolina, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Maryland, Virginia) and the ones I don’t remember (like South Carolina, where we lived when I was an infant), I’ve got 21. I was in panic mode - how will I get to 29 states in the next 22.5 years? For the next five or ten years, I think I’ll try to hit at least two a year. In 2017, I have my sights set on Missouri and Arizona. Can anyone recommend some interesting border towns? 
Phoenix, AZ trip is booked! Oct. 25-31
50. Have four artist dates. An artist date is a solo date with an artist/artwork. You go by yourself and the point is to just spend time with the artwork without the pressures to talk to other people about it or work on/around their schedules. When you go it alone, the only schedule you have to worry about is yours. Now  that I think of it, I should have called “artist date” every time I made the mistake of dragging my ex-boyfriend to a military history museum and then feeling rushed because he didn’t want to read everything on every plaque like I did. This is precisely the problem artist dates solve. Dates can range from visiting exhibits and galleries, artist talks or performances, concerts or movies, spending the entire day reading a book, or listening to music in the peace of your own home without any other distractions. I heard about artist dates from Janice MacLeod (author of Paris Letters) and had planned to have one every month during 2015. Life got busy and all kinds of excuses not to have artist dates turned into no artist dates by the middle of the year. I set the bar lower this year, at four, hoping I can do this once a quarter. 
February 19, 2017 - George Takei’s Allegiance
May 13, 2017 - Citizen by Claudia Rankine
June 2, 2017 - Jordan Peele’s Get Out 
December 7, 2017 - Tom Hanks/Emma Watson/Dave Eggers, The Circle 
51. Learn to sew on a button. Whenever my buttons need help I take the clothes to my favorite seamstress and pay $4 for the repair and make who knows how many carbon emissions driving over to her place. 
52. Watch Star Wars. I’ve never seen it, so I have no idea about the allusions, the “Star Wars nights” at sporting events, or the Cold War metaphors about race, gender, and nation.  I wasn’t very impressed. 
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bunvoyagesarah · 4 years
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Malaysia: Langkawi, George Town, & Kuala Lumpur
Langkawi Thursday, March 5 In the morning, I woke up with what I thought was plenty of time to eat before I got picked up to go to Langkawi, Malaysia by ferry. There were some other girls eating, so when a truck came by I thought it was mine and it was 15 minutes early.  It was for them, but I knocked my whole plate of food over, breaking the plate and causing my ankle to bleed. The owner of the place got a broom and I went to clean up my foot. I still had time to drink my tea, but then as I came out of the bathroom the guy to pick me up was asking the front desk where I was.  I went downstairs with him and asked the girl I was eating with to wash out my tea mug for me, which she seemed happy to help me with after witnessing this fiasco of a morning.  
What I didn’t realize when I booked the transportation from Koh Lanta to Langkawi, is that it was mostly drive a few hours drive to Satun, Malaysia followed by about an hour ferry ride to the island of Langkawi, Malaysia. Luckily, there were a couple other travelers in the same boat as me (no pun intended).  I made a run to a market for food with my remaining Thai Baht and could barely spend the $10 or so I had.  The van then drove us to the Satun ferry terminal, where I was able to spend more of my Baht on a cold drink and snacks for the next few days.  We had about an hour to kill, while this lady took our passports and returned them with our tickets.  We out our exit stamps as we boarded the boat and then had upon arrival had new stamps placed in our passports.  
The usual line of taxi drivers was waiting to pick us up and one gave me what I thought sounded ok, but then he followed and waited for me to get money out of the ATM. While in the ATM line, I got wifi and looked up the price on Grab, which was slightly cheaper. He agreed to that price. He tried to sell me on his all-day tour for the following day, which included going to ride ATV (but not the cost of the activity) while he waited in his car for me.  
He took me the hostel and immediately someone came out and said this hostel had new owners and the hostel I was probably looking for was a couple miles away. He drove me there and I paid him. I got all checked-in and a guy from my room told me about the Thursday night market just down the road and people getting drinks later at the hostel. After settling in a little, I walked down to the market and quickly learned how Malaysia truly was different than the rest of Asia with a large Muslim population, as well as the more traditional Asian.  I got some mint lemonade, which I thought had a strange after taste, and a pancake/chicken/falafel type thing that I ate wrapped up in paper.  
I went back to the hostel and some people were hanging out, along with one guy, who I’ll call Wakanda because he claimed to be from Wakanda and I missed the joke, having never seen Black Panther, so I asked him what country that was.  Wakanda offered to go to the store on his scooter and pick us up some drinks. He came back with beers for everyone, and told us some guy left his whiskey in the freezer and left that morning, so we also had that to drink. Before long, there was a group of us, including Fabio from Italy, who coincidentally looks just like a young, blonde Fabio, the actor.  
Friday, March 6 I woke up and the owner of the hostel made the best free hostel breakfast I’ve ever had—eggs, sausage, beans, and toast. Normally, the free breakfast is just make your own toast and a weird assortment of jams, so I try not to let a free breakfast lure me into choosing that hostel when booking. But I digress, I ask to extend another night when the owner informs me they are having a barbeque for some of the people that have been at the hostel for multiple weeks and this is now their last night. I then go rent a scooter down the street.  
Once on my scooter, I head up to the Langkawi Sky Bridge, which is said to be one of the best things to do in Langkawi.  I drive up there and it’s like an amusement park type setup.  I have to buy a ticket for the cable car to get up the sky bridge and then another smaller admission price to cross the bridge. This is apparently the thing to do here, so I buy the cheapest ticket, which also includes a ticket to the 3D Art Museum and a dinosaur “ride”.  First, I head up in the cable car/gondola to the view point, get off there and then go up to the Sky Bridge.  There’s some glass on the pathway of the bridge to look down the 125meters into the trees. There were some good views, but I found it overpriced for what I paid for. From the top of the cable car there’s a nature walk that goes down another 15 minutes that I also took advantage of, despite it being hot and humid in the middle of the day.  
After the trip down in the cable car, I went into the 3D Art Museum, which has huge murals on the walls and if you place yourself in the mural and someone takes a picture of you, the mural becomes lifelike. I asked a few different people to take my picture with some of the murals, but there were so many it was hard to keep asking people.   Then I went into the dinosaur “ride”.  I had no idea what to expect here and arrived just before it set off, but was ushered into a building and then a “van” where I took one of the last remaining seats on a bench.  A bar came down over our laps, a door opened, and then a screen had the dinosaurs on it while the van tilted around to stimulate the features of being on a real amusement park ride.  
On the way out of this Oriental Park, I saw a bunny petting zoo.  I went in there and there must have been 50-70 big rabbits and their bunnies that could be played with. That was pretty unexpected! I then scootered to Temurun Waterfall. It was only about a five minute walk from where I parked to the waterfall.  However, there was absolutely no water coming down or through the river bed. Hello, dry season, but at least I tried!
I then drove up into the middle of the island, where at the top of the hill sits a nature preserve called Gunung Raya.  It was a scenic ride up that took about an hour with lots of twists and turns in the road and no traffic. The top should have been a lovely view, but I could barely see 50 meters out due to all the clouds. I didn’t even spend five minutes up there before heading all the way back down the other side of the island to where this place called Legends Park was. It was supposed to have some sculptures that told some Chinese legends.  However, I never found this park despite driving past it on Maps.me three times. This wasn’t the first time in the past couple weeks that Maps.me had failed me.  At this point, I also was getting hungry and wanted to go back to my hostel to book transportation for the next day to George Town.
I arrive back to the hostel, book the early ferry to George Town and go get food and walk along the beach.  It soon begins to rain, so I walk back and sit with my last beer from the night before.   Soon the guys that had been living there are cooking chicken and making punch for this barbecue.  Most of the hostel was there enjoying this late night feast into the wee hours of the night when the punch ran low.  
George Town, Penang Saturday, March 7 I got up pretty early to return my scooter and get some food before I was going to be picked up at the hostel.  When I arrived at the scooter place no one was there. I tried contacting them through WhatsApp.  Finally someone arrived, only to not speak any English and then go off into another business that I assume she worked at.  Another 15 or 30 minutes later, someone came that actually worked there. I told him I was just returning my bike and he quickly gave me my deposit back. I just got a muffin from the 7/11 because no other places were open this early and knew the hostel wouldn’t be serving breakfast until 9am and I am supposed to be picked up right at 9am.  
Then I walked back to the hostel, hung out for a little bit, and sure enough the owner asks if I want breakfast before I go. It’s the same delicious breakfast I had the day before and I do my dishes all before the driver comes to pick me up right at 9 o’clock sharp.  
I’m squished in the backseat with another couple that is traveling long term while this guy drives us 30 minutes to the ferry station.  When we get out, he hands us our tickets to George Town.  By this point, I have no idea how long this ferry ride is.  Some couple recommended flying to George Town from Langkawi because it was half the time for the same price, but I didn’t know until I already had the ferry ticket.  
On the walk to my hostel I am seeing how culturally different George Town and Malaysia is.  George Town is one of the only places you can find a Hindu Temple, Muslim Mosque, and Christian Church on the same street. I end up walking this row of holy places on my way to my hostel on accident and then see even more temples, churches, and mosques along the way but not as close in proximity.   My German friend, Michael that I met in Koh Lanta had studied abroad in George Town so he gave me lots of tips for where to stay and what to see while I was there. I was at Drippin’ Dragon hostel, which were the same owners as the hostel he recommended that I couldn’t get a reservation for called Tipsy Tiger. I arrived and they didn’t have my reservation but honored the booking confirmation I had.   I went for a walk to Pinang Peranakan Mansion, which is a home once owned by Chinese tycoon, Chung Keng Quee.  The home is dedicated to the Peranakans, which are considered the first wave of Chinese settlers in the Malay Peninsula and Indonesian Archipelago.  It was a beautiful home.  On the way back to the hostel, I walked around the streets a bit, finding a fair amount of street art that Michael had also told me to look for.  I also cooled down with some of the best unique ice cream I’ve had at Coko. Then I had a more substantial meal from a street cart of some noodles.  
Back at the hostel, I had some happy hour drinks, which quickly became drinking games with people.  Everyone then left for Antarabangsa Bar, which was just a beer store with a bunch of plastic tables and chairs outside.  Michael had also hyped this place up a lot, so I was excited to see it with my own eyes.  It was hot though.  It had to have been after 10pm and the place had over 100 people oozing out of the “bar” and everyone was just sitting, trying not to move, and sweating.  
Sunday, March 8 In the morning, I took a bus to Penang Hill, which was supposed to have a good viewpoint. I figured I would hike up this hill, but when I arrived I couldn’t figure out where the trail was because there was this massive cable car station.  I did not want to go up another cable car.  I walked around and finally found the start of the trail, which they were clearly not advertising.  It was entirely uphill for all 833 meters.  
I found one other girl hiking up who lived in Georgetown and was a teacher. Within 30 seconds she asked me my age and if I was married, which I laughed at because of the pressure she has in her own culture to get married.  I was extremely hot and sweaty and she was wearing an entire headpiece, long sleeves, and long pants.  This entire conversation happened at one of our resting points.  Then I continued on and never saw her again.  I hope she made it to the top though.
After reaching the top, there was a food court I ate and took a rest in.  I walked around a little bit enjoying the view.  And then I headed down, a different way, a way that would lead me to the Botanical Gardens. It was so much downhill that I’m not sure which way was worse.  Both had stairs for the bottom half.  Once in the Botanical Gardens, I walked around a bit, but there wasn’t a lot to see except for the well-manicured grounds.  
I bought some more water and asked him about the bus, which he said comes just down the street.  As he goes to fetch me change for the water, the bus I need pulls into the lot and starts to loop around.  I fear I’m going to miss it, and wave him down, but he waves his hand, flashing four fingers at me.  Then he stops at the bus stop just ahead.  By the time I get there, the bus is closed up and the driver is gone, and I am thinking, “What did he mean by ‘four’?” I turn around looking for the driver, and see him over on a shady bench taking a nap.  I look at my watch and see it’s 3:10pm. I realize he meant he’s on break until 4pm. I figure I can walk another kilometer or so and catch a different bus. I wait for that bus for ages but it finally comes and I arrive back at the hostel to a pool party going on, which is exactly what I needed.   I change into my bathing suit and get into the decent sized above-ground pool. A lot of people are hanging out until the shade starts to cover the majority of the pool.  I get out for a shower and want to go to Chulia Street, where a bunch of food vendors set up shop at night. A guy says we can go together, but I end up waiting so long for him, I just leave without him. He finds me there with some other people from the hostel and we all sit together.  I get more Coko ice cream on the way home then rejoin people by the hostel bar.  A much smaller crowd goes out tonight and the bar we went to the night before is closed. This place is more of a restaurant turned bar and we were outside in more plastic chairs and one long table of people from our hostel.  There’s pretty lights hanging from above and live music just inside the bar.  
Kuala Lumpur Monday, March 9 In the morning, I took a bus to Kuala Lumpur (KL). It took some time, as the bus driver didn’t understand the ticket I had been issued by the office. I had to go to a different office and they didn’t understand either but gave me a new confirmation code.  Then I was able to get on the bus, got all settled in and then was told I was actually on the next bus that was arriving in 15 minutes.  It did not arrive in 15, but 30 minutes from another station in Penang. Finally, this bus left around noon. Once in KL, I got on the metro to my hostel. I stood in this terminal for the metro for a couple minutes trying to figure out which train to get on, when someone came over and gave me perfect directions for the train I was looking for.
It was just as hot in KL and I knew I had plenty of time to chill here, before the weekend in Singapore. I hung out at the hostel before getting some food at the next street over, Jalan Alor, which had dozens of places to eat. I sat back at the hostel talking to the Brazilian couple that worked there before going to bed, calling the day a travel day.  
Tuesday, March 10 The hostel was right next to a restaurant where we could order free breakfast of toast or this roti with curry dish. I got the roti dish every day.  Then this girl comes up to me and asks about going on a hike today.  I said sure, and she found some more to come to share the cost of the grab, but it became an issue as we were sure if it would be open with coronavirus, and we were half waiting on this guy to find his lost room key. By the end of this whole conversation, we end up walking to Chinatown.
On the way there, just outside our hostel, we could see some monkeys playing on the electrical cables and all this commotion. We look up and there is a monkey, not moving in the mess of cables at the pole. A firetruck is now below it, trying to grab this other monkey that is clearly trying to rescue his friend but also not electrocute himself.  The fireman pulls the one alive monkey down and when we return the other dead monkey is no longer there.  
Things in Chinatown were just opening and all of us had just eaten breakfast. We walked around a bit and Tilly bought some pants and Linus bought a Blackhawks jersey for cheap. We went through another street market and stopped to get smoothies. Then we walked to the Botanical Gardens and sat by a nice fountain for a while before getting a Grab back to our hostel and seeing the National Mosque of Malaysia from the car on the way back. We had talked about going to an infinity pool, which Michael from Koh Lanta had said I should do. We sat in the hostel trying to research free infinity pools for a bit before deciding we were just hungry and we left to Jalan Alor together for food. We ended up getting a bunch of beers and sharing a bunch of seafood dishes and snails.  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten with a group of strangers where everyone was so open to so many dishes. It was all delicious and then I went to use the restaurant’s bathroom and saw a huge rat sneak by my foot. It was too be expected of a restaurant row with all their kitchens opening into their outdoor seating, but still I was happy to have been done eating and glad we were in the process of paying. Overall it was a fun, very unplanned day.
In the evening, I met some new people at the hostel bar, which had unlimited drinks for like $11 for an hour as their happy hour special.  Then everyone goes up the street, where ladies drink free. All of these places were completely empty though, so after being with this indecisive group standing outside another empty bar, I left and went home.  
Wednesday, March 11 In the morning, Tilly, a Swedish girl she met from our hostel, and I set out in a Grab for Batu Caves. It is beautiful with a huge Buddha standing next to this massive ombre colored rainbow staircase. 
The staircase was actually quite frightening if you don’t like monkeys. There are four parallel sections of the staircase and I chose the one with the least amount of monkeys, but they run and hop so much between them that it didn’t really matter which one I chose. I have never bolted up a staircase so quickly in my life. I waited for Tilly and the other girl at the top.
This cave is open at the top, but massive and hardly anyone is there as coronavirus looms more and more each day. We don’t spend too long in the cave before heading back down, taking some pictures with the cool stairs in the background, and then walking the grounds.  
Tilly had heard from her friend that the place to go for an infinity pool is Aloft Hotels. We then head straight there. We weren’t guests but had heard no one checked at the pool, so we walk straight up to the escalator and take the elevator to the top floor which opens up into the pool. We all change and I laid my towel down in the shaded chair. It was another hot day in KL, so the pool felt great.  We hung out there the rest of the afternoon, getting lunch from the restaurant inside. Once it started to rain and cooled off around 5:30pm, we went back to the hostel.  
The Brazilians, Cristina and Rodrigo, that I had hung out with the first night at the hostel, invited me to go to this bar with them, which I did. First, we went to a nice cocktail, rooftop bar with an amazing view of Petronas Twin Towers. It was pretty empty when we first arrived so we were able to get a good spot to soak in the view.  By the time we left, it was pretty full.  While a lot of people recommend Heli Bar to see the Towers, you do have to pay to get in there and get one free drink.  This bar, Vertigo Bar was free, arguably nicer as it was part of Banyan Tree Hotel.  
Then we walked through a bunch of construction for 15 minutes and along the side of highways to reach this strip of bars located in a new complex called TREC.  The first bar in the strip was one that someone had recommended to me for its live music. It also had a ladies night deal that had just started, so we started there. The place was called Iron Fairies and was beautiful, with thousands of vials of glitter hanging from the ceiling, bowls of handheld iron fairies in different positions at every table, and huge glass jars of more glitter behind the bar and up the two floors.  We staked out a spot to listen to the music. Cristina and I were given the option of two cocktail drinks that we drank for free for the rest of the night. Rodrigo had a few beers that were cheaper outside on the patio, so during the set breaks we went out there.  After the ladies’ night special ended and the music was finished for the night, we went into another space they had called the Butterfly Room which had paper butterflies hanging from fishing wire from the ceiling. We took a grab back to our hostel shortly after that.  
Thursday, March 12 In the morning, I walked to the Petronas Towers, as I still hadn’t seen them up close or during the day. Kuala Lumpur City Centre (KLCC) also has a nice park right in front of the towers that I walked past.  I took some pictures and then got lunch in a nearby mall.  
At night, I went out with some people from my hostel to Jalan Alor for some bahn mi sandwiches that they knew were good and then we walked to the Towers for the light show at the fountain. We only caught the second half of the show as it only lasted about five minutes and we were a minute late and we also were sprayed with water from the fountain. Some of the girls hadn’t seen the towers yet, so we sat along a bridge taking more pictures of the Twin Towers.  
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