#today sucked :D
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Tw for mental health going ruh roh raggy (I physically cannot stop myself from making shitposts I am so sorry)
When your self worth plummets. I feel worthless. What do they even see in me? My sister is a star college student. My brother's in the gifted program. Meanwhile me? I'm just. There. I make shitty drawings and write shitty fanfics. I cry over an event from over four years ago. I get attached to anybody who shows me even a small amount of affection. Why can't I just.. be happy. Why can't I be like before that happened. I still kinda acted like I do now but. Happier. What makes people think I'm so special. I'm just the art kid in the back of the class. the kid who has to write notes on assignments asking teachers to please stop using my deadname. The kid who people only tolerate. Fucking....
#vent post#tw vent#vent#mental health#im actually going insane guys#im actually crying#today sucked :D#imagine being the middle child and never being noticed#couldn't be me#(it is me)#im slowly going insane#im slowly losing my sanity#im slowly losing my mind#im just#AGHHHAHGAGAHHSVRVABBRBAJKRKABEJKAJRJ#Hoping to god lilac doesn't see this account#teehee
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do not ask me about the plot of JJK
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#getou suguru#i am going to suck this man thru a silly straw i swear to god. jesus#my biggest Ya Boi ever except its YEEEESHHHH#the heart piercing is my most indulgent of indulgences here. i think maybe Geto likes cute things#like simple heart or star-shaped things. lightly feminine#drooling over ur own art is how u know u've improved#sigh. maybe i shld add lacy pan--nevermind im done actually#OH TO BE GOJO SATORU! TO GET TO DEVOUR THIS MAN!#recommending Pressurlicious by Megan. ultimate malewife manipulate mansplain Geto song#one day i will draw his d!ick but today is not that day. there will also be a piercing.#also i wanted to add tattoos but even i was like 'damn Michelle that's overly ambitious'#oh what if he had a tongue tatt that was a dragon head disappear down his throat WOW what a visual#thank u Gege
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Mitosis is when a thing divides into two things and the two things are exact copies of each other.. Do you get me?
#one piece#monkey d luffy#moonel.mspaint#science is the worst subject ever I absolutely sucked at today's 4 exams
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FINISHED WORK?? on MY page??? it's far less likely than you'd think. and yet, somehow, here we are. :D
(well, finished enough to post and call "done", i should say. i may yet meddle with some details when i inevitably notice ten more flaws immediately after posting :D)
good old moss knight, such a devout follower of big slug. surely no wandering knight would ever end such a noble creature's life before he had the chance to speak with a certain fellow at a nearby bench! :D
this was essentially just me testing the waters with digital after some time avoiding it, and especially colours/lighting. it's been a while since i actually tried to make something fully fleshed out like this. i don't know, i feel like it could have come out worse :)
#inktober#inktober 2023#art#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#krita#hollow knight#moss knight#greenpath#lake of unn#stuff i'm actually somewhat proud of#!! incoherent jumble of words incoming !!#this took entirely too long to finish. i am officially burnt out for the time being and will be returning to a slower rate of production :)#so yeah. gonna be likely stopping inktober here for the year D:#seriously each day was just getting more and more stressful. and i have not been happy with the last few days. so today's the finale! :D#and i can no longer allocate 1-2 hours per day to come up with something different while balancing everything else going on right now :/#it sucks to have to say that but i'm still glad i made it most of the way. this was my first inktober and i definitely was not ready.#but i had a ton of fun with it!! just need to slow down a bit. for my own sake :)#thus concludes my lengthy tags rambling. i put a lot into this project! (even though i know it's not great) i hope you like it :)#thank you for indulging my scattered and incoherent stream of consciousness. now i'm done rambling for good this time :D
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need a support group for people with religious or moral OCD who have had to distance themselves from their religious or spiritual journey due to their mental health
it’s really hard to grapple with something already as complex as religion, but having a brain that really can’t cope with it… it’s hard! it’s a battle! and I really hope any religious people with religious OCD are able to find ways to safely reconnect with their faith
#ocd#religious ocd#moral ocd#the way religious OCD is literally interfering with my relationship with G-d#like. my little sister got baptised today (she’s 18) and it was SUCH a trigger for me#it just sucks that I couldn’t fully be present in that moment because I was head to toe full of DOUBTS#and just fighting the urge to do all my compulsions#it’s hard!!
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l e t m e i n ! ! !
#d a m m i t d to the h to the l whyyyyy did you have to increase the shipping cost by 20 bucks the literal day before the preorders shipped—#thanks to that it only shipped today auuuuuuuuuaughdjejdjdjdhd#wdymmmmmmm the package is still in the same place from 4 hours agoooooooo#auauaaaauauaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i want in s o b a d l y#s o bs the only song jp twt is talking about is last stage#i don’t care about last stage (for now) i want m e o t o ! ! !#s. s o b s. unless a surprise mv drops ig im gonna have to wait till 12am for the midnight release… 7 hours to go…#ig i’ll just skip a few hundred times and do some pushups while i wait… im lich rally bouncing off the walls here i cant even auauauauaaaaaa#this. seriously hasn’t been a good couple of weeks for online purchases for me…#first my local shipment for [insert item] was delayed bc of last week’s oddly rainy weather#and t h e n that item was apparently mislabelled and locked in shipment purgatory for the weekend (sadge)#it only arrived yesterday (sadded) though ig i should be glad it even arrived at all#and nowwwwwww. this happens. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#idk there’s so many other things i’ve been meaning to do while i wait for the cd but. i just. can’t#this sucks i wanna be marginally more productive too heyyyyyyyyyy#i wonder how long meoto is though… hopefully between 3-5 minutes…#if the song’s like. m. ilgram t2-length im gonna cry#but ymk said that it’s her favourite song on the album so it should be good!!!! right??!!!!!!!!#ausgshhssh he l p i should really go back to. like. cleaning idol sengen pages instead or sth.#see you in a few hours for meoto tl/if they decide to drop a sudden mv or sth idk
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guys i've capped my inbox for now (i probably won't reopen it) because i have 12 asks in there right now. here's the numbers though in case you're curious!
angel neil: 4
arson neil: 5
mafia front: 2
vampdrew: 1
#sighs. christmas is gonna suck enough i don't wanna be freaking out about these asks then too :'))#lol i have lots of sadness about christmas. and as it stands i'm probably gonna be working on these till at least Saturday#if i can keep this motivation train going#i love wipw when i'm feeling good but... some weeks it's Hard.#i'm doing alright today so let's see how many i can do before my back starts killing me! :D#diaerie
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Bored Horror being #REDACTED#
Rob:
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If there is a heaven, then I can assure you that every adult or older person in a fandom or online community who is kind, supportive, friendly, and helpful to teens and younger members WITHOUT being weird about it is going to be there
#writing this bc a super popular person who makes STUNNING edits and jewelry and other various cool stuff was super nice to me today =D#I’m still happy about it =DD#so here’s the story#this person made a super pretty necklace and posted about it#that necklace stuck with me and made me feel ✨INSPIRED✨ so I decided to make my own (not a copy ofc)#and I posted to my story going ‘in gonna make a neotheater necklace bc I was feeljng inspired after seeing -username-‘s awesome necklace#and so I made it#attaching the clasp and chain onto the necklace at the end proved to be super difficult (the chain would NOT stay attached 😭😭)#and the person who inspired me responded and was all like ‘I’m so glad you got inspiration from me! I bet its gonna turn out super pretty!!#since you’re having trouble with the clasp you should do XYZ and it’ll make it stay on better#my friend showed me that tip a while back and now I’m giving it to you :)’#everything said was very paraphrased bc I’m too lazy to make it lesserso#but I’m still super happy about it#anyways the point is#be good to younger people#the world sucks but you don’t have to contribute to that fact#textpost#positivity#fandom#fandoms#community#online community#communities#online communities#art#artist#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#creatives on tumblr#this post is probably tagged super shittily
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right. so. i'm taking the angel and i'm wrapping him in a soft blanket and i'm telling him that NO ONE has the right to touch him without his consent.
no matter how well they know each other and got along previously.
or how angsty the person feels about possibly never seeing him again.
or how much Aziraphale might even possibly WANT to be intimate with that person on some level, someday, when they're okay again.
there are no ways around this:
if he's not READY for it, or if he's not in the MOOD for a kiss, then NO ONE SHOULD BE KISSING HIM. PERIOD.
#pretty sure this is not a controversial statement but the things i've seen some folks say today has been. um.#disheartening to say the least and alarming at worst.#please fucking tell me i'm not the only one who knows assault when they see it even if they find both characters attractive.#like. holy fuck. i love(d) crowley too but what the fuck.#how is THIS being overlooked while Aziraphale is taking all the blame for how shit went down in the finale.#~ooh they finally kissed!!!!!~ ugh but STUPID ANGLE!!! >:( doesn't he know how sexy and emotional crowley is??? he should ENJOY this!!!!#<- some of y'all's apparent attitude and it Concerns me deeply.#call it what it fucking is even if it sucks. it was a violation. period. it's 2023 we don't tolerate Blurred Lines bullshit here.#goddamnit this was my safe fandom and now i'm like. y'all scare me tbh.#i hate fandom drama but the way the majority have elected to ignore a literal assault so they can UWU Sad Demon Puppy their blorbo is just.#what is this? spn???#he was my blorbo too but holy fuck i have lines. i have boundaries. and he crossed them when he crossed Aziraphale's.#if u think u know who this is no u don't#i am conflict avoidant leaf me alone lol#i just need to know that i'm not the only person here who um. respects boundaries and consent and all that. because y'all got me Concerned.#like. i wanna rant about this in my fandom friend groups but they're all UWU CROWLEY DESERVED BETTER so um. i no longer feel safe there tbh#good omens spoilers#go2 spoilers#go spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers
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musings on insects, isolation, and how much can change when you're not looking
#i started this like a month ago#and finished it today because i was laughing at how much the sentence 'i'm going bug hunting with my partner' would kill pre-college me#but yeah. i'm still learning to accept that i'm not alone anymore.#learning to love insects was easy. it's a lot harder to learn to love myself#in the wise words of a fic my friend wrote: it sucks so bad sometimes. but even when it sucks it's better.#personal#insects#also all of the scenes in the middle two pages are specific memories that have contributed the most to why neither of those things are true#1. meeting my partner in an entomology class i took on a whim#2. the fateful 8 hour dnd conversation on a field trip for that class that started our friendship#3. trip to a museum (i also could have drawn the part of that trup where i got to hold a cockroach but i don't have a picture of it)#(and i really like that picture of her)#4. seeing a cockroach on the way to class and both of us yelling 'oh my god a little guy!'#5. working at an insect collection together (oh god the things our boss has probably heard)#6. seeing a boxelder bug on the way to see a movie together (we always saw insects when we spent time together)#7. seeing fireflies for the first time when i visited her over the summer :D
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wearing a mini skirt to uni help
#🍒 — miri's version#dont get me wrong i LOVE mini skirts#the size of a belt and what not#but people stared and im like 😃#a group of guys looked me up and down at the door of my uni and jesus fucking christ that sucked ass#:D#and then some other people looked at me weird#but its a good practice ig?? 😭#to beat fear of judgement or smth idk#get out of my comfy zone#experiment#be happy#smth along those lines SOB#i dont even know how i feel abt this out fit#outfit*#i do wanna wear more mini skirts or skirt or dresses n stuff but its hard here and im used to jeans n pants#plus its winter BUT#we layered today
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I used to read a lot because I would power through anything I start. These days I start a lot of books but can't even get past a few chapters.
This is in part a motivation/attention issue but I think the matter of interest is also a problem. Like, I didn't really like most of what I read back then too, but I had the persistence to finish anyway. The problem now is that without my previous persistence, I can't finish a book I don't enjoy.
So the problem is finding a book I find enjoyable enough not to drop after a few chapters.
#d#wouldn't even know where to go about looking for that#I tried looking at five books today alone and got bored of all of them#schizoposting#schizoid tag#anhenodia sucks
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“i’m all alone, but i’m as happy as can be!”
#aka top 10 things i wish i could drill into my coworkers brains grrrrrrrrrrrrrrnrhrhbgbgbfbfbfnf#‘you should get a bf’ ‘when are you gonna get married and have kids?’ how about n e v e r#i just want to sleep when i’m not on the clock mans i don’t want to waste my precious sleep time on others#i mean. i don’t even leave the house on my days off. not to go shopping or anything bc sleep is more important~~~#and stuff can be bought online anyways s o o o o o#g o d speaking of online purchases thoughhh this massage seat i bought online came in yesterday and it works amazingly well~~~~~#used it for half an hour last night and i was relaxed enough to sleep for 11-12 hours straight#wish i had space for an actual massage chair though but this will have to do…#it’s been my dream to own a massage chair for the longest time…… but ig this massage seat is good enough……#i can just slap it onto my desk chair and b a m ✨instant paradise✨#speaking of instant though… one of my coworkers was commenting on my love for instant noodles the other day#‘you’ll ✨d i e✨ faster if you eat a lot of cup noodles yk?’ he said#so ✨o f c✨ my mouth chose to work faster than my brain when i replied with ‘i’m fine with that bc i won’t have to work then’#he and another coworker laughed :( sadded#b u t i finally had my cup noodles that i ‘customised’ at the cup noodle museum today and it was good~~~~~~~ i have good taste (self praise)#the best part was the lack of spring onions!!!! bc screw spring onions really who decided that they should be included with most cup noodles#or just noodles in general? the texture sucks and they don’t even taste good man. why would you even add spring onions?#it’s number 2 in my list of most hated food toppings. it loses only to ikan bilis bc s c r e w ikan bilis or dried anchovies or whatever#they’re known as >:( i hateeeeee how takeout places will just assume that you want ikan bilis and lop on a huuuuugeeeee serving of them#atop your food as you desperately and futilely b e g them to stop#and when you try to pick them out they just!!!! keep turning up everywhere instead?????#like hello???? how did you manage to get to the bottom of the bowl???? you were only added as a topping!!!!!!!#also. their eyes are really creepy. and the heads get detached from the bodies all the time and just. seeing the eyes ruins my appetite.#wait this was supposed to be about my coworkers and their pushiness in a matter that doesn’t concern them how did we get so far off-topic—#chizuutan chizpost
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so sad seeing people write whole paragraphs happily texting one another and then when they text you its just a sentence
#claire.txt#d.mif#i just want to be so nosy and ask what R could possibly write that has D replacing his attention to me for him#i wish bad things upon R.#his statuses already is like “nonverbal today sucks”#or whatever#bitch im nonthinking#only sulking and being petulant! <3#i need d to obsess over me for at least ONE DAY#ONE DAY WITHOUT DRIFTING HIS ATTENTION TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME#A DAY DEDICATED TO ME !#dont i deserve it <3#ehehehe <3
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