#to those who sent asks in like. march. i'm sorry i love you i have some ideas and things i want to draw but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justagalwhowrites · 6 months

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Hello, i love your work omg!! I had a request for another Joel angst <3 I had an idea where reader decides to sell Joel's watch in the QZ and gifting him a new one (obv not knowing the meaning behind the watch) Joel gets angry and reader becomes heartbroken and decides to look for the watch and gets rly injured by gangs in the QZ and Joel gets worried/goes after her!

OMG Hi Bestie!

You sent me this forever ago but I'm in love with this ask and then went totally overboard and ANYWAY here's the angstiest ask I've ever had, I hope you love it as much as I love you!!

The Watch

You try to do something kind for Joel but things backfire in a way you never expected.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: SMUT! Canon-typical violence. I did almost no proofing on this so... ya know. Basically no age-gap, reader is 3 years younger than Joel. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 12.2k (LOOK I'M SORRY OK I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME EITHER.)

March, 2010

Sometimes, you weren’t sure you knew Joel Miller at all.

It was a strange sensation, when you thought about it. You’d known him for almost three years now. You’d first met him and his brother, Tommy, when they moved in a few doors down from you in the Boston QZ. Both handsome, both around your age - Tommy a bit younger, Joel a bit older - both beat down by what the world had become.

But the last thing seemed to apply to everyone in the QZ. Life now was hard. That’s just the way it worked now, as much as you wished that weren’t the case.

You’d managed to land a relatively good job in the grand scheme of things. You were a chef before, you ran part of the kitchen at a ritzy banquet hall in the city. You were used to feeding a crowd and FEDRA definitely had a crowd to feed every day, what with guards and all.

It wasn’t much like it was before. There was very little joy in it, the process reduced to the barest minimum: Feed people so they stay alive. But you liked trying to find ways to make the food good, different from day to day. You still took pride in your work, even as the overly long days threatened to wear you down. You still wanted to try to make people happy with your work.

Which is how you ended up getting to know Joel and Tommy in the first place. You showed up at their door a few days after they moved in with a few plates of food in hand, still hot below the tin foil they were wrapped in.

“Yeah?” Joel said, voice gruff.

“Hi!” You said brightly, not taking his attitude personally. Everyone was gruff here. You were used to it. You introduced yourself before pressing on. “I hadn’t seen you both around the QZ before so I thought you might be new and want a little something while you’re settling in, maybe stretch those ration cards a bit further…”

“What’s in it for you?” Joel cut you off, looking you up and down.

It was like he was finding every flaw you’d ever been afraid you had, his eyes raking over you fiercely.

“Nothing,” you smiled, even though it felt forced. “Just wanted to do something nice!”

“Bullshit.”

“Joel, you scarin’ the neighbors?” Tommy asked, coming alongside his brother and opening the door wider.

“Not at all,” you smiled, a little more genuinely this time.

Tommy introduced himself and Joel, who just grunted at you.

“I brought dinner,” you said, holding the plates out. “Just thought you might want a break after getting here is all.”

“That is real sweet of you,” Tommy smiled, taking the plates. He lifted one to his nose and breathed deep. “Smells real good, too. You a cook or something?”

“Or something,” you smiled. “I used to be a chef but now I just cook for FEDRA. This is better than that, though. Anyway, I hope you like it and welcome to Boston!”

“Thank you,” Tommy smiled broader. “Hope to see you around!”

You started coming back to see Tommy. He was kinder, he seemed like he was happy to see you. Which you appreciated. You didn’t have many people in the QZ, it was nice to have someone who felt like a friend who lived so close.

You’d come by twice more and chatted with Tommy for a bit the next time you saw Joel at all. You knocked on their door with a loaf of bread in hand and Joel opened it, frowning at you.

“He ain’t here,” he said before you had a chance to say anything.

“Oh,” you tried not to look disappointed. It seemed like that would be rude. “Well, I made a few loaves of bread today. I thought you might want one!”

You held it out, an offering.

He took it.

“Still not sure why you’re doin’ this,” he said, almost sneering. “You just never work? FEDRA jobs that kush?”

“No,” you frowned. There was the familiar pinch of tears at the back of your throat. “No, I work 12 hours a day six days a week, I just… I like to share.”

You turned to go before you started crying in front of him, like an idiot. You’d always been overly sensitive, too open-hearted your mom had always said. It didn’t serve you well in the apocalypse.

“Wait,” he said. You stopped but didn’t turn around, tears starting to slip down your cheeks. “Shit, I… Look. I’m not trying to be an asshole, OK? Just… Haven’t exactly had many people be nice for the sake of bein’ nice in a while. Feels hard to believe. Would… would you want to come inside? Don’t exactly got much at the moment but there’s coffee. Could make us some.”

You dried your eyes on the back of your wrists and hoped he didn’t notice.

“Yeah,” you sniffed a little before turning around. “Yeah, OK. Coffee sounds good.”

It was awkward at first. Joel was stiff, clearly not used to having someone else around who wasn’t his brother. It reminded you of when you’d adopted a dog from the shelter when you were in your 20s. You brought him home to your apartment and let him off the leash and it was like he didn’t know what to do. He could recognize that this was a home, that it had a kitchen and a living room and a couch. He just couldn’t find his place in it. An interloper. Something that needed a map to help navigate a new yet familiar land.

“How are you liking Boston?” You asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

He shrugged.

“Fine,” he said. “Still tryin’ to figure out if it’s better than out there or not.”

You nodded slowly.

“I’ve wondered that, too,” you said. “But I’ve never been out there. I’m just not sure it’s worth it to try and figure out the difference.”

He was almost kind while you were there. Well, definitely kind by Joel standards, almost by anyone else’s. But you’d take what you could get. Especially since you imagined that would be the last time something like that would ever happen.

You were wrong.

When you made pasta a few days later - the sauce surprisingly good for something thrown together from leftovers from the guards’ mess hall - you brought plates a few doors down and Joel answered. He invited you in again, even as you tried to just leave the food and go.

The conversation was unlike anything you’d ever really had before. It wasn’t small talk - Joel seemed to find that sort of conversation excruciating - but it wasn’t anything personal, either. It occupied an nebulous third arena, deep and intelligent - discussing things like depictions of the end of the world in fiction and what they’d gotten right and what you thought might becoming because of it - but without offering a glimpse into the core of the other person.

You weren’t sure what to do with any of it. But you liked it. You liked Joel.

It happened a few more times over the next several months, you ending up in an obscure conversation with Joel in his apartment every other week or so, until, one day, things went bad on your walk home from work.

One of your cooks was too sick to work - which said a lot with FEDRA breathing down your necks - and you’d stayed late at the kitchen after, getting things reset for the next day.

It was raining and cold and miserable as you trudged home, looking forward to a hopefully hot shower and your bed, when someone stepped out of the shadows as you turned a corner. .

“Well well,” the man said, making you jump. There was a knife in his hand. You swallowed. “Look what we have here. A FEDRA bitch.”

You looked around quickly, about to take off back the way you came when there was something warm and large against your back.

“Don’t even think about it,” the man’s voice was harsh.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your hands shaking. “I’ll give you whatever you want, I have ration cards, you can have them…”

You felt the man behind you laugh.

“Hear that?” He said. “She thinks we want her ration cards.”

He sneered the last words, taunting you.

“I just…” you began but the man in front of you spoke now.

“We’ll take the ration cards,” he said, stepping closer. “Take a lot else, too. FEDRA killed my sister. Seems only fair we take a few of their bitches in return.”

“Please,” you said softly. “Please, they won’t care, I’m just a cook, they won’t even notice, I’m so sorry about your sister but I’m not…”

The one behind you grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back, making you squeal. The other punched you across the face, making you cry out in shock as much as it was pain.

“Then we’ll start with you,” he said. “And take a few others, too. We’ll just take and take and take until they have to pay attention. Won’t we?”

“Yup,” the man at your back put his mouth next to your ear so you could feel his hot breath on your skin. “We could get creative with ‘er. Know you wanted to gut her but now I’m wondering if I could make her choke to death on my cock…”

Your heart was racing, beating so hard against your ribs it felt like it should be bruising from the force of it.

“Please,” you were crying. “Please, I haven’t done anything to hurt anyone, I just…”

“You’re FEDRA,” the man in front of you said, curling his hand into a fist. “That’s plenty.”

You flinched from the blow you knew was about to land, tried to remember what you could about throwing a punch, when a sharp voice broke through the night.

“Hey!”

You opened your eyes just enough to see Joel stalking up.

“The fuck you think you’re doin’?” He demanded. The man at your back released your hair. Joel didn’t slow down. He just shoved the man in front of you back. “Think you can just fuck with whoever you want around here?”

“You FEDRA now, too, Miller?” He snapped. “Fuckin’ kill you too, maybe make you suck my dick first, too…”

Joel punched him, hard, across the face. So hard the man collapsed to the ground in one hit. The man at your back grabbed you and threw you to the ground and you landed in the mud as he lunged for Joel. He dodged the man easily, throwing a punch to the man’s torso before he grabbed a knife from his belt and thrust it into the man’s stomach. He gasped at it, his mouth agape in shock as Joel pulled the blade up through his gut to his ribs before shoving him to the ground. The man he’d punched first had managed to roll over, trying to get up. Joel held up the knife.

“Try it, Pickett,” he said. “Fuckin’ dare you.”

The man stayed down. Joel nodded, bending to wipe his knife on Pickett’s pants before putting it in the sheath at his belt. He pulled his leg back and kicked the man, hard, in the stomach, right where he’d stabbed the other one.

“She’s under my protection,” Joel snapped. “Tell your fuckin’ friends. I catch any of you fuckin’ with her, I’ll kill every last one of you. Understand?”

Pickett just groaned. Joel dropped to one knee next to the man and took his face in one hand, his fingers sinking harshly into the ruddy flesh of the man’s cheeks.

“Asked you a goddamn question,” he snapped. “Expect an answer or you’re too useless to leave alive. She’s protected. Fuck with her, you die like your fuckin’ buddy. Understood?”

“Understood,” the man managed. Joel freed his face and he slumped down into the mud as Joel straightened back up.

“Good.”

He left the man in the mud before kneeling next to you.

“You alright baby doll?” He asked, his voice weirdly gentle. You sniffed and nodded. “Alright, let’s get you up, get you home and cleaned up….”

He put his hands on you delicately. You realized suddenly that Joel had never touched you before. Even when you handed him food or he gave you a cup of tea or coffee, his fingers never even brushed your own. Now, his hands were fully on you, all overly large and delicate and warm, guiding you into sitting up and then standing. Once you were on your feet, one of those large hands gingerly took your chin and turned your face this way and that, so different parts of your skin caught the light.

“Fucker got you good,” he said, shooting the man who was still alive in the puddle another glare. “C’mon. We’ll get you home, get you all cleaned up. You’ll be OK.”

He tucked you below his arm, guiding you away from the carnage behind you. You turned to look at it, anyway, the still living man crawling through the mud and the rain to his dead friend.

“Don’t,” Joel said, voice oddly gentle. He delicately tucked your head against him, making it so you couldn’t look back. “Don’t need to see that. They don’t fuckin’ deserve it.”

“You killed him,” you said, hating how small and weak you sounded. “Joel, you killed that man, he’s…”

“Barely counted as a fuckin’ man,” he muttered. “Got what he deserved. Don’t worry about it. C’mon, almost back…”

You were strangely numb as you let Joel guide you back to your building. He led you up the stairs and to your apartment door, something that shouldn’t have surprised you - you only lived a few doors down from him and Tommy, after all - you just hadn’t thought he’d ever paid attention.

“Gimme the key,” he said, his arm still around you. You obeyed, your hands still shaking as you got the key from your pocket and handed it over. He unlocked the door and flipped the lights on. You were glad you’d picked your apartment a bit the day before so it was at least neat and relatively clean - at least by QZ standards it was, anyway.

Joel lowered you gently into a chair at your kitchen table and pulled up another one next to you. You frowned.

“What are…”

“Fuckers got a good hit on you,” he said, looking at your face in the light, frowning. “Should’ve just killed them both but that don’t work as well for sending a specific goddamn message….”

It seemed like he was talking to himself, at least in part. You just watched him examine you, his face drawn, eyes tracing over your skin.

“Go get cleaned up,” he said, sitting back from you. You frowned. “You’re covered in mud. Won’t do a damn bit of good to bandage you up now if you’re a mess.”

“Right,” you said, looking down at your body. You’d almost forgotten that part of it. “Um…”

“Be here when you’re done,” he said. “Get you patched up. Go shower.”

You took a last look at him, acutely aware of the mud dripping onto your carpet, before you went to your bathroom, stripped down and climbed in the shower. You tried not to think about the fact that Joel Miller was just… sitting in your apartment.

It didn’t make any sense. It was Joel. Why had he even bothered to stop? Why had he intervened at all? He seemed to think of you as little more than a nuisance but he saved you. Killed a man for you. Told another that you were under his protection, all but told him to let the whole of the QZ know it. And now he was just sitting at your kitchen table, waiting for you to get out of the shower so he could take care of you.

You stayed under the mercifully warm water longer than you needed to trying to come up with an answer. The best thing you could come up with was that he felt like he owed you for all the food you’d brought over the last few months - though murder seemed like a high price for some bread and dinners.

In your almost dazed state, you hadn’t thought to bring more clothes into the bathroom with you, a fact that occurred to you when you were still in the shower. You groaned. At least there was a robe in the bathroom so you wouldn’t need to dart across the hall to your bedroom while wrapped in nothing but a damn towel.

But when you stepped out of the bathroom in a haze of steam and wrapped in a terrycloth robe that went almost to your ankles, Joel was standing at the mouth of the hall. He looked up at you and blinked twice, frozen where he stood. You froze, too. You weren’t entirely sure why, if maybe you felt like prey under his gaze, a rabbit hoping that stillness would keep the wolf from gutting you, or if the heat inside you made you want to be cracked open wide to the very center of you and consumed.

“Better,” Joel said after a moment before jerking his head toward the kitchen table. “In here, where it’s light.”

“But…” you tried to protest, overly aware of your own nakedness below your robe.

“It’s fine,” he cut you off. “C’mere.”

You kept your eyes on him as you obeyed, moving slow and cautious for the kitchen table, never turning your back to him. You still weren’t sure why.

The seat you were in before had been cleaned, as had your floor, no sign of the splatters of mud. Instead, there was a small bottle of rubbing alcohol and cotton balls and gauze on your kitchen table.

“Sit,” Joel ordered. You obeyed without hesitation. He took the seat close to you again, reaching to the leg of your chair and jerking you forward, the wood groaning as it scratched across the linoleum of your floor. He took your chin in his hands again and examined your skin, his face close to yours. You could smell him, the rain water on his skin, the remnants of laundry soap, the bite of something wild that you couldn’t place but seemed to blend with his rough beard and flannel shirt. “Not exactly a doctor but don’t think you need stitches. Just gotta keep you from getting infected. Unless you’d rather go to the damn clinic…”

“No!” You said it quickly, probably too forcefully. You cleared your throat. “No, I… No clinic. I don’t want to cause any issues and I don’t want them to ask too many questions…”

You didn’t want anything that would tie the dead body that was going cold in the rain a few blocks away to you or Joel.

“Good,” Joel said. He dabbed the rubbing alcohol on your cut cheek, making you hiss in pain but you held still. His fingers were surprisingly gentle, even with the rough callus of them. “You’re doin’ good, baby doll. Almost done.”

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, his brows drawn together as he concentrated on you before picking up the gauze and taping it over the injured skin.

He released your face when he finished and sat back in the chair. You crossed your arms over your stomach, watching him for a moment. You’d always known that Joel was handsome. That was a simple fact, anyone with working eyes could see it. But it had always been a somewhat neutral statement. He was handsome but he was also cold and gruff and seemed to barely tolerate you outside of the unusual conversations you had when you brought something by and Tommy was unexpectedly absent. Even then, you’d gotten the impression that he was humoring you for Tommy’s sake, not out of any kindness or affection toward you. He was handsome but you’d never had anything more than a passing attraction to the man because thinking about how he must look at you, see you, hurt.

But it was like a switch had flipped since Joel had saved you. Like the only thing that had been keeping you from looking at him and wanting him had been the idea that he wouldn’t want you in return. Some kind of protective measure meant to save you from getting attached to something hopeless because, at the end of the world, what was the point of attachment without hope?

“Thank you,” you said when you realized you’d been quiet for too long.

Joel shrugged.

“Anyone fucks with you again, tell me,” Joel said. “Idiots should know better now, but…”

You nodded slowly. Joel watched you for a moment before getting up and going to your kitchen. He got a towel from a drawer and filled it with ice before coming back and moving his chair closer to yours and pressing it against your bandaged skin. Your fingers covered his, meaning to take the ice pack from him, but he left his hand there, cradling it to your face. Your eyes met his, all dark and deep and wounded and you swallowed, hard.

“Why did you do that?” You asked, whispering more than fully talking. Like it was a secret you were asking at all.

“Didn’t deserve what they were about to do to you,” he said. His eyes were still on yours. You were closer to him than you’d ever been before. Your hand slid from his down his arm to his elbow, fingers twisting in the fabric of his sleeve. You watched his jaw tense for a moment. “Didn’t… Couldn’t see you hurt.”

You leaned into him. You couldn’t help it, drawn into his strength and warmth, the comfort of his safety and sudden kindness so overwhelming it was a force unto itself. It was almost a surprise when you kissed him, that his lips were on your own.

The kiss was only soft and gentle for a moment. Just long enough for Joel to drop the ice pack to the floor, his hand gently holding your bandaged face, ensuring he kept your mouth at the right angle. His other hand went to your waist, grabbing you almost roughly, pulling you sharply onto his lap with a surprised squeak. You were straddling Joel and damn near naked doing it, the only thing between you his jeans and the robe that was caught between your thighs.

You froze as his fingers tightened on you, his lips growing more insistent, the heat in you building and burning but you weren’t sure what to do with it all.

But he wasn’t slowing down or pulling away. His kiss deepened and the hand that was at your waist moved to the small of your back, adjusting you so that your core was pressed tightly to his growing length in his jeans. You moaned into his mouth, involuntarily rocking your hips against his hardening cock. Your arms went around his neck and you pressed yourself closer to him, dipping your tongue into his mouth to taste him. Joel’s hips pressed up against yours and you could feel his bulge against you, the heat of him making your core tighten and ache.

Joel’s hands left your face and your back, coming around to the knot on the front of your robe. He pulled his lips from yours and looked down at your body as he untied it. He looked you in the eye - a silent request for permission, it seemed - and you didn’t stop him as his hands slid inside the fabric and pushed it away from you.

Your skin was still warm from the shower and the shock of the cool air against you made you shiver. Joel didn’t seem to notice. His hands moved almost reverently for your waist, then your breasts, his callused fingers running over your soft, smooth skin, cupping the heavy globes of flesh, running his thumbs over your pebbled nipples.

“Fucking Christ,” he breathed before kissing you again, your tits still in his hands. You pulled him closer, tighter, not caring if you seemed like some kind of rabid whore as you ground your leaking slit down on his still clothed cock.

His hands ranged over you as he all but devoured your mouth, grip getting harder, kiss getting more desperate before he separated from you once more, panting for breath, pupils blown.

“Let me fuck you,” his chest was heaving. He didn’t say it like a question or even a plea. He said it like it was a foregone conclusion, that he was going to have you and this was a formality.

You could only nod and he shoved your robe to the floor before taking you in his arms and carrying you to your couch. He ripped his shirt over his head and cast it aside before hurriedly stepping out of his boots and shoving his pants and underwear down and off, his cock full and hard, making your eyes go wide. It’s not like you were a virgin or anything, you’d been in your early 30s when the outbreak happened, you’d had your fair share of men. You’d just never seen a cock quite that thick.

Joel looked down at you on the couch, one of his hands wrapping around his length and stroking it once, twice, before gathering the precome leaking from his head and spreading it over himself.

“Joel,” you swallowed hard as he adjusted your legs and climbed between them. “I don’t think…”

“It’ll fit, Baby Doll,” he was still breathless as he jerked himself. “I’ll make it fit. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry…”

You nodded, not really sure you believed him, but the gnawing need inside you was overwhelming any resistance you felt as he lined his fat, almost purple head with your weeping hole. You sat up on your elbows, watching where he was going to enter you - or try to enter you, at least.

“Already so wet,” he ran his head up and down your slit, gathering your slick. “Make you feel so good, fill you up so good, promise baby…”

He pushed himself inside you then, a grimace on his face until his head almost popped into your tight channel, pulling a shocked gasp from you. He was hardly inside you but you could still feel the burning stretch of him. His thumb went to your clit and brushed it at first, making you shudder, before working you in tight, firm circles. He fucked just the tip of him in and out of you, keeping the pressure on your sensitive nub as he did. You rocked your hips against him, you couldn’t help it, your orgasm already closer than you’d expected it to be.

“See?” He panted. “Told you I’d take care of you.”

With that, he thrust into you the rest of the way, making your eyes go wide and a high pitched whine leave you. You couldn’t look away from where he was filling you, the stretch unlike anything you’d ever felt before. He was so big you could see the outline of him between your hips, a foreign swell where he’d made space inside you to fill.

“Joel,” you whimpered below him. You could feel him twitch inside you, like he was inches away from orgasm already. “Fuck, I need a minute, you’re too big, I need…”

“Fuck,” he groaned, tipping his head back, his hands finding your waist. But he was still inside you even though you could feel that he wanted to fuck you hard and fast. Your body adjusted, the almost painful strain of taking him fading to an overwhelming fullness that had you starting to rock your hips against him, desperate for more stimulation. “Fuckin’ Christ, gonna lose it with you doing that, Baby Doll, I need to fuck you, I gotta, won’t hurt you promise I won’t…”

You nodded but you weren’t sure it even registered with him. His grip on your waist tightened and he pulled back from you - slow at first - before thrusting all the way back in, the force of it knocking the air out of you. You groaned as Joel started to fuck you, hard and fast and needy, his thick cock stretching you with every motion.

“Knew you could take it,” he panted. “Told you I’d make it fit.”

You just whimpered, one of your hands finding your clit, the other your breast, working yourself in both places as he pounded into you. Your channel grew tighter around him, your orgasm close.

“There you go,” he kept up his almost brutal pace. “Fuck yeah, make yourself come on this cock, come all over my fuckin’ cock while I wreck this little pussy, do it, fucking come for me.”

You couldn’t help it, you came so hard you cried out with it, your hands stilling as you pulsed over Joel and he fucked you through your orgasm. He never stopped, never even slowed. If anything, he slammed into you harder and faster and your overwrought pussy almost hurt with it.

“Fuck, can I come in you?” He asked. “Please… fuck… please, gotta come in you, need to come in you, fuck Baby I’m coming, gonna fill you up, fuck!”

He pressed himself deep and exploded inside you there before you had a chance to tell him either way, the hot ropes of his come coating your inner walls. He collapsed forward onto you, his head over your shoulder and pressed into the cushion of your couch as he caught his breath. You could feel him leaking out of your spent hole as he went soft inside you. You slowly, hesitantly put your arms around him, stroking his back for a moment. Part of you was unsure what, exactly, had just happened. If it meant anything at all.

“Fuck,” he sat up from you and pulled his cock from your body. He was glistening with the blend of you and him together. He looked down at you, still a little breathless, as you were splayed out before him. You remembered, suddenly, what it was like to look down at a chicken you’d split while butchering, all hollowed out, its only remaining purpose - to be consumed - laid bare. “Fuck, I… I don’t…”

You sat up on your elbows again and looked down between your legs. His come was leaking from you. You looked back up at him, acutely aware of your vulnerability but hiding anything from him felt wrong.

“It’s OK,” you said quietly.

“No,” he shook his head. “I… I’m sorry, I…”

He stopped and got off the couch, getting his clothes from the floor. He pulled his underwear and jeans on quickly before retrieving your robe from beside your kitchen table. He lowered it gently onto your stomach. You stared at it for a moment before sitting up and sliding it on. You cinched the tie around your waist.

“Are you…” he trailed off as he shrugged back into his shirt, his brown eyes ranging over you again and again.

“I’m fine.”

He nodded.

“Right,” he said. “Right, OK…”

He stepped into his boots, not bothering to adjust the laces. But then, he only lived a few doors down.

Oh God, he only lived a few doors down.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly after he was fully clothed again. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you said, getting up and crossing your arms over yourself, thankful that your robe was long and covered most of you. “I… I wanted it.”

“Right,” Joel nodded. “That… we can’t do that again, OK? It’s not smart. Probably best if we…”

“Sure,” you just nodded again. “Yeah, OK.”

“Good,” he said, going for your door. He stopped to look at you. “Take care of yourself. Let me know if you run into any more trouble.”

“I will,” you nodded. “Thanks, Joel.”

He gave you a nod and just left you there, his come dripping out of you and his bandage on your cheek.

That was the first time you fucked Joel Miller.

It wasn’t the last.

You came by a few weeks later, almost positive that it would just be Tommy home but it was Joel who answered the door.

Once you got through the awkwardness of the hellos and the handing off of biscuits, you tried to leave, even though your core was tight and achy being so close to Joel again. Like he’d imprinted himself inside you, the shadow of him still there as a reminder. But Joel wasn’t having it. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled you around to face him before pressing you back into the wall and all but shoving his tongue into your mouth. He fucked you right there, against the wall of his living room, and when your thoughts weren’t blinded by orgasms you were just praying that his brother didn’t come home and find the two of you like this.

When it was over, he stepped back from you, his eyes wide as he panted for breath and said over and over that it couldn’t happen again. That it wasn’t smart, not when you were neighbors and you were all stuck here like this. That he didn’t want any kind of anything with anyone. That it was a waste of time.

It took until about the fifth time for Joel to stop saying it couldn’t happen again. For him to just accept it. He showed up at your door most nights now. He had for more than a year now. You weren’t entirely sure what your relationship actually was. You slept better when Joel was wrapped around you, even when he jerked in his sleep as nightmares plagued him. If you had an utterly miserable day, he sometimes listened to you vent about it before he fucked you silly. He brought you things he thought you’d like when he made smuggling runs outside the QZ, like a magpie who sought out books and baking equipment. You made him dinner and cut his hair when it got too long and didn’t ask questions when you bandaged up his knuckles at the end of a long day.

But Joel had never so much as told you that he liked you, let alone anything close to love. Even though you loved him. It had taken you some time to realize that you had. You’d become numb to a lot since the outbreak. Love was a risk, one that your subconscious mind seemed itching to keep you away from. Especially from someone as distant as Joel. You’d been fucking no one but him for more than a year now and you’d only learned within the last month that he was a contractor before the end of the world.

You wanted to do something nice for him. Something that might let him start to love you. At least like you as something more than someone to fuck, anyway. And you had the perfect thing in mind.

That day, Joel rolled you over in the early morning hours, kissing you deeply in the dark, enough to start to wake you up.

“Have a good day,” your words were slurred and mushy in your sleep but he seemed to get the picture.

“Think you’ll have an easier time of it, I’m on sewer duty,” he kissed you one more time, just a peck on the lips. “See you tonight.”

“Mmmm.”

You waited until you were sure Joel was gone for the day before you turned on the lamp beside your bed and found Joel’s watch on the nightstand.

He never took the darn thing off except to sleep. He always wore it, every day. Except the days he was on sewer duty. He left it at home or at your place then, the face of it cracked and the mechanism so broken it didn’t work anymore. But he still wore it every damn day. He’d never told you why.

You ran your thumb over the broken glass of the face for a moment before setting it back down and getting dressed in your kitchen uniform and pocketing the watch.

Your shift started in an hour and a half, giving you what you hoped was enough time to get the errand you’d been planning done. You had to venture most of the way across the QZ to do it, traveling to the black market shops where you knew a lot of what Joel smuggled in wound up. It was still early there, people setting out what was on offer, and you found the one person you knew of in the QZ who dealt in things like jewelry and watches. Even though he’d always struck you as slimy every time he’d talked to you when you’d walked by his stall when on the hunt for something else.

“Hey there pretty lady,” he smirked. “Finally coming to see me?”

“I was wondering if you could fix something for me,” you said, getting the watch out and handing it over. “It’s my… it belongs to my friend. The face has been broken forever and I don’t think it tells time anymore. Think it’s fixable?”

He took it and frowned down at it, turning it over in his fingers.

“Kind of a piece of shit to waste the energy on fixing it,” he said before looking back up at you. “Could find you something better, get you a deal…”

“I’d rather get that one fixed if you can,” you smiled. “I don’t mind the price.”

He nodded, looking back down at it.

“Well, it’s beat to shit,” he said. “But I’ll give it my best shot or find something good to replace it with, how about that? Even buy this piece of crap off you, I’m sure I can use it for parts. Give you a discount on the watch itself.”

There was a twinge in your gut at that, the idea of maybe trading Joel’s watch away. It must have sentimental value if he wore the broken thing that much. Or maybe it was just force of habit? He didn’t have one that worked but felt naked without it?

“Sure,” you smiled. “When do you think you’ll know?”

“Tomorrow,” he said. “Come back, see me. I’ll let you know what I can figure out.”

You walked to work excited to see Joel that night. You were sure he was going to like the watch thing. Maybe it could be the start to something new, something good. After so long of living in limbo with him, you sure hoped it was.

***

Joel fucking hated sewer days.

They paid the best but it was disgusting work. The only worse job, in his opinion, was burning infected bodies. At least the sewer didn’t have dead kids.

Otherwise, it was worse.

He went by his apartment first to shower and get cleaned up before heading toward yours.

Joel was reluctant to admit it even to himself - especially to himself - but he’d grown attached to you over the last few years.

He’d never meant to fuck you.

It had been an accident, the first time. Or, at least, as much of an accident as fucking someone could be. He’d always thought you were pretty. You were beautiful, truly. Beautiful enough that he couldn’t pretend that you weren’t. So he moved on from that fact. But you were also sweet and kind, nicer to him than he deserved. He tried to keep you at arm’s length but you’d somehow managed to insert yourself into his life in ways he hadn’t expected. He liked being around you, he liked to look at you, he liked to imagine what it would feel like to be inside you. Falling into fucking you had been easy, so damn easy.

It helped that you didn’t ask anything of him. That you put up with shit from him that he doubted you’d have tolerated in the before times. But you were lonely here, that much was clear, and Joel was someone. He took advantage of that fact, he knew. He knew he should be better for you. Try to be more. Try to be something at all. But he wasn’t sure he had it in him anymore, if it had ever existed for anyone but Sarah at all. It seemed like it would be cruel to both of you to try.

So he didn’t.

He was lucky that you seemed fine with that. Even if he really wasn’t.

He beat you to your apartment. Not surprising, sewer shifts started early and ended early, and he let himself in to wait for you, going to get his watch off the nightstand first.

Joel felt naked without it. Almost like he was betraying his daughter when he didn’t wear it, that he’d somehow decided the last thing she’d done for him wasn’t good enough anymore. But wearing it on sewer jobs was too big a risk. If it fell off there, he’d never find it again and he wasn’t sure he could live with himself if that happened. So he left it wherever he slept the night before - as likely to be your place as his anymore - and always put it back on the second he got cleaned up.

But it wasn’t on your nightstand. He frowned, looking on the bed - you made it every day, like that shit still mattered - but it wasn’t there. He got down on his hands and knees and looked around the nightstand, below it, under the bed. He ripped the sheets off and shook them out, took the pillows out of their cases. His heart was pounding. It had to be here it had to.

He went to the bathroom next, maybe he’d taken it off in there the night before even though he never had before but he searched there, too. He was taking all the cushions off your couch when he heard your key in the door. He kept searching as you came in, not even looking up at you.

“Joel!” He heard you drop your keys and your bag and then your hands were on him, pulling him back from the couch and making him stand up straight. He was breathless. He had to find it, it had to be here. Fuck, what if he put it on this morning and it fell off on the job and he hasn’t noticed? What if it was gone? “What are you…”

“My watch,” he said, looking around the room for where to search next. “I… my fucking watch, left it here this morning, almost positive I left it here but I can’t find it and I need that watch, Baby Doll, I gotta…”

“Joel,” you smiled a little, putting your hands on his forearm. “It’s OK. You did leave it here but… well, it was supposed to be a surprise…”

His stomach dropped.

“What did you do.”

You took your hands back, smile fading at his tone. Your eyes went a little wide.

“I noticed that it’s broken,” your voice was quiet. “And I thought it was something that might be fixable…”

“What the fuck did you do?!”

You shocked back from him. Joel had never so much as raised his voice to you before and he was screaming now.

“I took it to a man across town,” you said quickly. “He said he might be able to fix it or find a good replacement and…”

“I don’t want it fucking fixed!” He screamed, pressing closer to you and you flinched back. “I want it the way it was! I want it the way it was when my daughter fucking died!”

You stared at him for a second. He’d never told you about Sarah. He didn’t talk about her. It hurt too much to even consider it, he kept her to himself, her memory saved for quiet spaces where he could let it overwhelm him.

“Your daughter?” You whispered, reaching for him. He stepped back from you, couldn’t handle your fucking hands on him, not now. “Joel, you never… I didn’t…”

“She gave me that watch!” He wasn’t yelling now but there was a tremble in his voice, the barely contained rage slipping through. “She gave me that fucking watch and the day she died she got it fixed for me. It got fucked up by the bullets that killed her because I didn’t do my fucking job as her father, I didn’t protect her! That watch is all I have left of her and you…” He shook his head, his resolve cracking and yelling again. “You fucking gave it away! How could you be that fucking stupid? That fucking careless? What the fuck were you thinking!”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. You were crying, voice shaky. “I… I didn’t know, I just wanted…”

“You think I give a shit what you want?” He yelled, towering over you. “Think I give a shit about you? You’re just some stupid fucking girl I use when I need to get off and you…”

You were cowering back from him and he knew he was scaring you but he couldn’t feel anything past the sharp pain of loss enough to care.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was so quiet he could barely hear you. “Joel, please…”

He glared at you with so much force it made you flinch and stalked out your front door, not bothering to close it behind him.

Joel took the stairs down to the street two at a time and set off, walking quickly as night fell and rain started in a steady drizzle over him. He could think of a few places you’d probably try to take the watch. If he could find it in time… with all the fucking smuggling connections he has in this godforsaken town. He had to be able to find it. He had to.

But he searched all night, went to every goddamn black market dealer he could think of. He was only able to find about half of them, some out who the fuck knows where, and none of them had the watch.

It was daylight again when he returned home, soaking wet and exhausted. He glared at your door as he passed, going to his place to shower and try to warm up.

But without the distraction of searching, the desperate drive to do something because he could, he was forced to feel while standing in the steam and the water.

The pain of the loss of his daughter was there, sharp and acute when he realized he may never again touch something she had also held. The permanence of that somehow making her loss more real than it had been in years. It was gutting. He’d rather be shot or stabbed or have the shit beaten out of him than feel this. At least that was tangible, something he could heal from and not this constant, consuming pain.

But there was also you. You, who had become the only bright spot in this goddamn place. You, who held him when he woke up in a panic and told him that he was safe and that it would be OK. You, just about the only thing that had made him smile in years and who looked at him like he was something worth wanting. Looked at him like there was still a point to him at all.

You’d tried to do something nice for him. You hadn’t known any better, he knew that. He’d just never let you in. Never even told you Sarah existed let alone about the way that she died. How he’d held her, how Tommy had to drag him away from her body, how all he’d wanted to do was join her and he couldn’t even do that right. He’d never told you any of it. He couldn’t blame you for that, not when he was already afraid of how much he cared about you. He was even more terrified of what he knew he could feel for you if he just let himself. It wouldn’t even be hard. Not feeling it was like fighting against gravity. It would only take one slip and he’d fall into it, he knew that.

He got out of the shower and sighed, trying not to think about the watch. About the things he’d said to you. He’d been so panicked, so angry. He had tried to hurt you. Said things he knew were cruel because if he was hurting he wanted you to hurt, too.

But he wasn’t proud of that. He didn’t want you to hurt. He wanted to take care of you and protect you. You were kind and thoughtful and this fucking place hadn’t chewed you up and spit you out yet. He wanted to help you stay that way. Instead, he’d tried to hurt you.

He sighed and got dressed before going to knock on your door. It was your day off, he expected you to be home. Probably reading or baking something. Because apparently cooking all day during the week wasn’t enough, you had to do it on your day off, too.

“Hey!” Your next door neighbor came outside but her face fell when she saw Joel. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were…”

“I’ll tell ‘er you’re looking for her,” Joel said, looking back at the door, waiting for you to answer. But he didn’t even hear you inside. He frowned. He had a key, it just felt wrong to use it after the way he’d spoken to you but maybe he’d need to…

“Thanks,” your neighbor smiled, a plate in her hand. “She’s always making things for my daughter, I finally had enough extra to return the favor but I haven’t seen her since she left last night and…”

“Last night?” Joel’s frown deepened. “What do you mean, when last night?”

“Kind of late,” she frowned back. “After dark, I was just coming back home when I ran into her. Seemed like she was in a big hurry, looked like she might have been upset. I told her I had something for her and she said she’d be back later. I don’t think I missed her but…”

Joel’s heart sped up and he shoved his hand in his pocket, finding his keys. He tuned out the neighbor and had to fight to keep his hands from shaking as he opened your door.

Your apartment was still torn apart from when Joel had been searching it, couch cushions still all over the floor, coffee table askew. He ignored it, half walking, half running to your bedroom.

“What happened?” Your neighbor hovered in the doorway. Joel ignored her, too. He looked in your room, still in total disarray but empty, your uniform on the floor where it hadn’t been before. Your bathroom was empty.

“Fuck!” Joel smacked the wall. You’d left, gone somewhere and not come back. But you’d planned to come back, you’d told your neighbor that you were going to be back later and you hadn’t come home. He went to the woman in the doorway, her eyes still a bit wide as she took in the mess he’d made of your apartment. He took her by the shoulders and she blinked up at him in surprise. “Where was she going? Did she say? Tell you anything at all?”

“N-no,” she stammered, frozen in Joel’s grip. “She didn’t, I’m sorry, I don’t…”

Joel released her, running his fingers through his hair for a moment. Had you gone to try to get the watch back? He’d been so upset, so cruel… You must have. It seemed like something you would do, immediately go to try to fix it. He turned back to the woman, cursing the fact that he didn’t know this about you, that he had kept his distance from you so he wouldn’t know things about you and fall into you in the way that was so tempting to do.

“Know what markets she goes to?” He asked. “Especially for any contraband shit?” She just blinked at him for a moment and he resisted the urge to yell at her. That’s what got him into this situation, losing his fucking temper at someone who didn’t deserve it. He took a deep breath, keeping his voice calm. “I think she went to look for something but I need to know where that would be so I can go find her. Do you know?”

“Yeah,” she nodded after a moment. “Yeah, there’s one across town, in the south end. I’ve run into her there before…”

Joel was out the door before she finished talking. It was one of the places he’d gone the night before but hadn’t found anyone to talk to. He certainly hadn’t seen you there. But it was at least a starting point. He’d find you. He had to.

***

You stared at your open door for a few minutes after Joel left, in too much shock to move.

Joel had a daughter. A daughter who died. The watch had been from her, of course he wouldn’t want it fixed, of course he would wear it every day. And you’d given it to some slimy guy in the contraband market.

After a while, you could make yourself move. You closed your door and went to your room. Joel had turned that upside down, too. Of course he had. Because he was desperate and you’d made him that way.

You got changed quickly, leaving your uniform in a pile on the floor, grabbed a handful of ration cards in case you needed to buy the watch back, and headed out.

“Oh, hey!” Clara, your next door neighbor, almost ran into you on the stairs, her two-year-old on her hip. “I was just going to pop over, I made…”

“That’s so sweet,” you cut her off. “But I’ve gotta run, I’m so sorry. I’ll be back later and should be around tomorrow…”

“OK!” She called after you as you took off. “Be careful out there!”

You moved as quickly as you could manage toward the market, hoping that you could find the man, that he hadn’t started doing anything to the watch, that everything would be OK. Even if Joel hated you now, he shouldn’t lose the one thing he still had from his daughter because you hadn’t thought to ask him about the damn watch.

You breathed a sigh of relief when the man was still there, closing up shop, when you ran up.

“Why hello again,” he smiled, a smile that was smug and lecherous. “Haven’t been home to check my stash for parts yet, pretty girl, but if you wanted to come back with me I bet I could find a way to give you an even bigger discount…”

“That’s OK,” you said, a little breathless. “I actually just want the watch back, just the way it is…”

He frowned.

“It’s still pretty useless…”

“That’s OK!” You said quickly. “Just… please. Please say you still have it.”

He sighed and opened a box, rifling around in it for a moment before pulling it out. But he held onto it, running his thumb over the face of it.

“I was expecting something for fixing this,” he said, glancing up at you before looking down at the watch. “Had plans for those cards…”

You pulled a few ration cards from your pocket and held them out.

“Please,” you said. Even though he hadn’t done any work. You didn’t care. “The cards are yours, just give me the watch.”

He looked almost surprised that getting cards out of you had worked but he took them and gave you the watch. You looked at it for a moment, the broken glass in the face, the time frozen at 2:15. You tucked it in your pocket, the fist that had been clenched around your heart loosening.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “Just… Thank you.”

You started at a more reasonable pace back for your apartment. You’d go to Joel’s, return the watch, apologize again and hope that he wouldn’t still hate you once you fixed it. At least you hoped he wouldn’t be hurting as much, he didn’t deserve that, not after everything he’d been through. You could fix that for him, at least. You had to.

You were so relieved at getting the watch back that you weren’t paying close attention to your walk home. Yes, it was dark and raining and late but you knew the way and, since that day more than two years ago when Joel had saved you, everyone seemed to know you were protected. That you weren’t someone they messed with and expected to live. In hindsight, it made you feel like the QZ was safer than it was. So safe that you were fine walking home alone from a shady corner of town, far from FEDRA guard posts and people you knew.

It was a stupid mistake. You realized that when you heard a voice in the dark.

“Well well.”

The sound sent a chill down your spine. You recognized that voice, the voice of the man who had tried to kill you once.

You froze, eyes wide, an animal caught in a trap.

“If it isn’t Joel Miller’s little FEDRA bitch,” Pickett emerged from the shadows, his hands in his pockets, a few men at his side. Your eyes darted between them. There were six of them that you could see. There was no way you could fight off that many. Hell, you probably couldn’t even fight off one. You’d never been a fighter. “Awful far from home aren’t ya?”

“Heading there now,” you said, voice shaky. “Joel’s expecting me…”

“Well that’s too bad, isn’t it?” He prowled closer. “Guess you’ll have to keep him waiting just a bit longer.”

“You don’t want to do that,” you finally were able to make your legs move, backing away from him. “You know what he said…”

“But he isn’t here, is he?” He smirked. “And he’s the one who left his little toy out for just anyone to take. If you mattered all that much to him, don’t think you’d be out here all alone at this time of night.”

Your eyes darted, looking for the best way to run, but your mind was distracted. The man was right. You didn’t matter to Joel, he’d told you as much, that you were just some stupid girl he used when he needed it. You were just some stupid girl and you were going to wind up dead in the shitty part of the QZ and he’d never get the watch back, the one thing he had left of his daughter, because you’d been too stupid to ask about it. For some reason, that part hurt more than the thought of dying. There wasn’t much to life in the QZ, certainly not much that made life worth living. Joel had become the one thing you looked forward to. It was hard to mourn your own destruction when there wasn’t anything left that was really worth living for.

You tried to run, slipping in the mud as you went. But you were turned around, too panicked to look at street signs or pay close enough attention and, when you wound up at a dead end, you were cornered, the men closing in on you as you backed into a wall.

“Please,” you whispered. “It won’t make a difference to him or to FEDRA, if you want to hurt them, I’m not the way to do it and…”

“Maybe not,” Pickett smiled in a way that was more like the bearing of teeth than an actual smile. “But you sure will be fun.”

Your eyes were so glued to his that you didn’t even see it coming when the first blow sent you to the ground.

***

Joel made it to the market in record time, out of breath and bones reminding him that he was in his 40s now and he’d spent his life breaking his body to survive. He scanned the stalls quickly, finding the man who was the most likely one you’d have gone to, watches and jewelry out on a table in front of him. As if anyone could afford that shit now anyway.

“How can I help you?” The man asked, smiling up at Joel from his seat behind the table. “Looking for something special for a lady friend, perhaps?”

“Looking for my…” he paused. Technically, you weren’t anything to him. “My friend. She would have come here yesterday with a watch…”

“Oh,” he laughed. “Yeah, I know her. Such a pretty thing, a little disappointed she only decided to give me the time of day when she needed something…”

“She was here?” Joel asked, brows raised.

The man smirked.

“Answers are gonna cost you.”

Joel ground his teeth for a second before shooting his arm forward and roughly grabbing the back of the man’s neck, shoving his head down and slamming it into the table, the man giving a yelp of pain when his nose crushed against the wood.

“Fuck!” He swore as Joel pressed his face against the table. He squirmed but Joel held him down. “Jesus Christ, man!”

“Was. She. Here.” Joel’s teeth were clenched, his chest heaving.

“She was here!” The man cried out and Joel released his neck. He panted for breath for a moment and sat up cautiously, cradling the back of his neck. “She was here, last night, she came by, wanted the watch back, she seemed desperate.”

“Where’d she go from here?” Joel demanded.

“What?”

“Where!” Joel screamed, hand curling into a fist, ready to beat the answer out of him.

“Back the way she came!” He covered his head with his arms. “Same place you came from what I could see, please!”

Joel stepped back.

“When was it?”

“Late!” The man said quickly. “Late, she came by late. Right at the end of the day, I was closing up shop, it was dark and raining…”

So you’d made it this far. You just hadn’t made it back home.

“Anyone who runs around here who would give her trouble?” Joel asked. “Keep her from comin’ home?”

“Plenty of people,” the man looked at him like he was insane. Joel glowered at him again and he flinched. “But most likely, Pickett’s gang, saw a few of them last night prowling around, they’ve been causing trouble around here lately. If she ran into trouble, it’s probably with them!”

Joel nodded slowly. Pickett. He knew him. That was the man he’d saved you from before, the jackass had been building up a following of FEDRA hating idiots who seemed bent on causing trouble and hurting people as a way to feel strong by being cruel.

He knew where to find them.

Joel ran there, a crumbling building FEDRA hadn’t done anything with yet that he and Tommy had run drugs to a few times. He pulled the knife he kept at his belt free before he pushed the door open. Whether you were here or not, these were men he wouldn’t care about killing.

The first one was just inside the door. Probably meant to be standing guard but not paying attention, flipping through an old Playboy instead. Joel caught him off guard. He wrapped his hand around the handle of the knife and used it to bolster his punch, the blow landing so hard the man fell backwards off his stool. Joel kicked his gun away and kneeled on the man’s chest, putting the blade to his throat.

“Your boss bring a woman here last night?” Joel asked.

“Not your business, is it?” The man sneered. Joel ground his teeth, covering the man’s mouth to muffle his screams before taking the knife in his hand and thrusting it into the man’s shoulder. Joel waited until he quieted some, gasping below his palm, before he spoke again.

“Scream and I’ll gut you like a fuckin’ fish,” Joel snarled. “Now I’m just about done askin’ nicely. Did your boss bring a woman here last night?”

“Yes!” He said, pleading. “He did, she’s still here, I think she’s still alive, they’re on the second floor, please…”

Joel freed the knife and thrust it into the man’s throat. He didn’t need him anymore. He picked up the gun.

It was easy, finding you then. He shot men as they approached, only half a dozen or so between him and you. But none of them were Pickett.

He found the room he was sure you were in, two men stationed at the door who fired at him when he came around the corner. He ducked out of sight, readied his stolen weapon and exposed himself just enough to shoot. He dropped them both before they could land a shot on him. He took their ammo and changed his clip before listening at the door for a moment. It was quiet.

Joel opened the door slowly, cautiously, but he didn’t need to. You were the only one inside, on the ground in an unnatural looking position. He holstered the gun and ran to you, kneeling beside your prone form. There was a rattle in your breath and you’d been beaten to hell. Even in the dim light, he could see the cuts on your skin, the parts of you he could see swollen and discolored. They’d savaged you, your body broken and bleeding, and you’d only been out here because of him. Because he’d been so angry at you for something that wasn’t your fault. Fuck, you were the only thing left he cared about besides Tommy and you were bleeding because of him. If you died because of him, if he’d failed you the way he’d failed Sarah…

“Please,” you rasped, trying to lift your head but giving up, your eyes closed. Your voice surprised Joel, he hadn’t expected you to be conscious. “Please… I don’t…”

“It’s OK Baby Doll,” Joel said, his voice thick. “It’s me, you’re OK now. Gonna take real good care of you, you’re alright…”

“Joel?” You lifted your head and managed to open one eye. The other was swollen shut. “Joel, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Before he had a chance to stop you from moving, you reached a shaky hand into the pocket of your jeans and pulled out the watch. You held it out to him, your fingers bloody.

“I don’t think it’s any more broken,” you winced. “I tried to protect it, I’m sorry…”

He took it from you, your blood on the face and the band, a tightness in his throat he was struggling to breathe around.

“S’OK Baby Doll,” he said, putting it on his wrist quickly and reached for your head, to try to brush some bloody hair back from your skin, but you flinched away from him. “Nothin’ to be sorry for, it’s not your fault, none of this is your fault.”

You took a deep, shaky breath like you were going to argue with him, but you didn’t get the chance.

“Look who it is.”

Joel stiffened, getting to his feet slowly, turning to face him.

“Almost expected you to not show up,” Pickett smiled. “She seemed damn sure she didn’t mean anything to ya, swore up and down that you wouldn’t even notice she was gone.” Joel’s stomach twisted. “Took you so long I was starting to believe her.”

Pickett prowled closer.

“Course I’d hoped she’d be enough to draw you out,” he said. “Getting tired of tip-toeing around you and your fuckin’ brother. But if she wasn’t, at least she was fun. Didn’t even get a chance to let my guys have the real fun with her yet, though. Figured I’d see if we could knock her teeth out first, bet she’d suck real good then. But looks like you took care of them, so I guess she’s off the hook.”

Joel roared and lunged for Pickett, swinging for him as he did. The other man had either underestimated Joel or overestimated himself, because he tried to dodge him and failed, Joel’s shoulder catching him in the chest and sending him sprawling to the ground. Before he had a chance to even get his bearings, Joel was on top of him, screaming as he pummeled him, raining the blows down on his face again and again and again.

For the first time since you’d disappeared, Joel felt like he was really doing something. This man had taken you, hurt you, was going to do more to you. Joel was doing what he was supposed to do. He was protecting you. He felt it in every blow he landed on the man’s face, in every collapsing structure below his skin, in every splash of blood. It wasn’t until he had stopped breathing and the blood had stopped pouring from his open wounds that he stilled, panting for breath as he looked at the mangled face of the man below him.

He stood, flexing his hand and looking at it, the split open knuckles, the mix of your blood and his own and Pickett’s on the watch. He wiped his hand on his shirt and went back to you, kneeling again.

“Joel,” you whimpered.

“He’s dead,” Joel said, his voice thick. “They’re all dead. Warned ‘em. Told ‘em what would happen if they fucked with you.”

He watched you work to swallow around your damaged throat as you nodded.

“You’re safe now,” he said softly, fingertips gently tracing your face where you didn’t look battered. You flinched at first but relaxed. “Need to wait a bit to take you home. Too bright outside right now, FEDRA fucks would stop us…”

“Don’t need to worry about me,” you struggled to sit up for a moment before giving up and going limp on the floor. “It’s OK. Already did more than you should have. Go home in case FEDRA comes poking around and…”

“Not leaving you here,” he said gruffly.

You winced as you swallowed and fought to open the one eye you could.

“Don’t put yourself at risk for me,” you managed. “I’m not worth it, you know that and…”

“You’re worth it, Baby Doll,” he said softly, his hand on your face. “About the only thing in this fuckin’ place that is.”

You flinched as you frowned.

“No,” you shook your head a little. “No, you said…”

“Don’t matter what I said,” he cut you off, trying to ignore the stabbing guilt in his chest. Fuck, the things he’d said to you. “I didn’t mean it, didn’t mean a fuckin’ word of it. I was pissed at myself, I was hurting, I took it out on you and I never should have said or done any of it, Baby Doll, never. I didn’t mean it, not a word of it and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take all of it back…”

He lay beside you, delicately holding your face, his eyes tracing over you. He memorized the damage done, the signs of all the pain he knew you were in. All because he hadn’t told you about Sarah, because he’d hurt you, because he’d failed you. He wouldn’t do that again. He was not going to let you suffer because of him again. You tried to move closer to him but he put his hand on your hip and held you still, instead moving toward you. You winced as you pressed against him but it didn’t stop you. He held you gently, feeling you breathe against him.

“I’m sorry, Joel,” your voice was muffled. “I didn’t mean to, I promise…”

“Shh,” he hushed you, tears stinging his eyes. He’d done this to you. Made you feel like, even this broken, it was your fault. “It’s not your fault. None of it. I’ve got you, Baby Doll. Gonna take care of you. Gonna take such good care of you if you let me. Please let me.”

You were quiet, passing out against him. He held you like that, letting himself feel for you, letting himself fall into that dangerous place with you. He stopped fighting the gravity of loving you until it was dark enough to safely carry you home.

He got you cleaned up, patching you up as best he could before giving you some pain meds from a stash he hadn’t traded away yet and carrying you to bed. He held you there, too, his body curved around yours, shielding you from anything that could hurt you and promised himself, silently, that he’d never see you like this again. Because he was going to take care of you. He was going to protect you, he was going to love you, until there was nothing else left of him and he was dead and gone.

He ran a gentle hand over your head and pressed a kiss to your hair, the glass of the watch reflecting the light of the moon, sending fractured splotches of light on your wall. He wasn’t going to fail again. That much, Joel knew.

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #kit answers #send asks #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #joel miller x oc

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kangals · 22 days

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way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.

in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.

last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.

then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!

idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.

and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.

sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.

i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.

thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.

i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.

i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.

thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.

#i know exactly what you mean about reading posts about other peoples loss and grieving in camaraderie with them. i do that too #also mayhaps i am nosy sometimes and want to intrude. i cant help my nature to be a looky-loo #which is to say: you should never feel like you are intruding for doing so back to me.

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vanyafresita · 2 months

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MUTUALS HEY pspsps mutuals pspspspspsss

it's been a while since i've sent any physical letters to anyone and i kinda miss it... SO, if we're mutuals and don't mind giving me your address, i'd love to send you a physical letter <3

you don't have to send anything back btw ! this is simply something i enjoy doing ^^

[more details under read more]

on the written letter i'll send, i'll talk about a random number of things and maybe gush about the media im most interested at the moment (tho if you know we share a fandom (no matter how old or dead it is, even if im not actively going crazy about it rn) and u wanna hear my thoughts on that specifically, please let me know !!)

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along with the letter, i'll send too:

a surprise recipe of something sweet or salty that i like (i'll modify the recipe if necessary in case of allergies, diets or ingredients dislikes)

a tea bag (i have quite a bunch of tea flavours, so you can pick one or i'll send a random one !)

a traditional drawing of anything you want ! (yes, anything !)

2 postcards + a few stickers and stamps

a friendship bracelet (lmk 3 colours you like !)

optional: if you want to send a letter back, but you're unsure what to write about in your letter, you can request me a list of questions so you can reply them and go off about anything else ^_^

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extra notes:

i'm currently living in europe, but i'll send stuff worldwide, wherever you are !!

this is completely free ! unless your country has some weird ass laws that make you pay for receiving packets (????), this should cost you nothing at all (if u're forced to pay to get the packet, i'll send u the money !)

along with your address, i'd advise giving me a phone number too (some countries require me to give a phone number, sorry u_u)

you do NOT have to send me anything back !! and if you decide to do it, it does not mean you have to send anything else apart from a letter !

even if we have never talked/interacted directly at all, you're very much welcome to ask for this !!!

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if you're interested, dm me ! we can sort out the details and i'll start right away ! :]

this will be valid until march 31st ! EDIT: closed ! i got more requests for this than expected and i can't really get to more people, so im ending this after one day !! lol i'll try to do this again by the end of the year in case someone missed it !! <3 thanks to those who reached out !

#smiles very big #i like writing physical letters and yapping !!!!!!!!#im full of thoughts and i like sharing them !!!!!!#but i dont really have a lot of friends sooooooo......#vanya strawberry flavored

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katnissdoesnotfollowback · 11 months

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In your opinion, please rate thg movie series with 1-5 scale.

(1 = I hate it, 3=neutral, 5 = I love it.)

1.The Hunger Games :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

2.Cathing Fire :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

3.Mockingjay

Movie 1 :

Movie 2 :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

So let me preface my ratings here by saying that I really think these books are already so well edited in terms of necessary content that making a movie version of any of them is a mistake. Maybe I'm biased and greedy, but I honestly feel like 99% of the scenes in the books play a crucial role in either plot, character, or theme development and removing them waters down the story too much, in my opinion. I would much rather have seen a series version on screen than a movie. Not to mention, Collins made her name as a writer in television, and you can SEE IT in how she writes her novels. It's structured like a TV series so it should've been shot like a TV series. Anyways. So my rankings are gonna be... kinda low for the movies. Sorry not sorry.

But also... my thoughts on this are fresh. My youngest was supposed to read The Hunger Games with his 6th grade class. The teacher sent home a form requesting parents' permission to do so. I signed it gladly and sent it back, but apparently there were a lot of parents who sent it back with complaints instead of approval. Enough that the class read the first Percy Jackson book instead. I'm fine with that too, lol, especially since my kiddo really liked it and is now on book five of that series. I've been trying to reread along with him and will hopefully be catching up to him this week, lol.

After his teacher switched books for the class reading, he and I decided we'd read THG books together once he's done with PJO, but then, my oldest skipped a field trip he really didn't wanna go on and wound up staying at school and watching... The Hunger Games and part of Catching Fire. He came home with QUESTIONS, which immediately sparked a "Hey, not fair!" from the youngest and prompted a movie marathon. We made it through all four movies back in March, and I'm still not forgiven for not warning him about Finnick btw...

Okay enough story time. *cracks knuckles*

The Hunger Games

Ranking: 2/5

Things I don't like: Ugh where to start? The removal of Madge and therefore the significance of Katniss's mockingjay pin as a symbol of wealth and power bestowed by the Capitol only to be flipped on its head and turned into a symbol of rebellion. Also, the implications of removing Madge in terms of how they tried to make Katniss into STRONG BADASS WO-MAN while dulling some of her softer edges and dependencies on other people. See also: leaving out the gift of bread from D11 to Katniss.

The dialogue is shit. Sorry, those are my thoughts. You already had really good dialogue in the book why change that? Also, the gutting of the dialogue results in the gutting of both Katniss and Peeta as characters. The first movie turns them into The Watson character, i.e. the character whose purpose it is to ask questions so that the audience can learn about the setting/plot/other characters/whatever. The first movie made Katniss and Peeta look naive and dumb about the Games and the very world they inhabit, which makes no sense for their characters. I get it. It's a storytelling technique to quicken up the process of world building and make up for the fact that we don't get to be in Katniss's head where she tells us what we need to know about her world. BUT their characters suffer for it. Katniss and Peeta are sixteen. Anyone who has interacted with a teenager knows that at that age, we usually have #OPINIONS on things, so in the books, both already have developing opinions about the Games because they are by necessity and by exposure aware of how the Games and the government essentially work. They've lived in this world long enough. They've started to develop opinions and world views, and they act accordingly. The first movie loses this completely from the books.

Do not get me started on the dialogue in the cave scenes we will be here until the next century if we go there.

Buttercup. Christ how hard is it to cast a yellow/orange cat?!?!?! Not that difficult. And granted, this is a minor detail in terms of symbols but at the same time... it's a minor detail. The fact that they didn't even bother showed a lack of caring about the details. Also see: Rock Peeta.

The stakes of almost everything are lowered, from the bread scene (we don't realize until MJ2 that she's literally starving and knocking on death's door in that scene) to the berry scene (and here it's Peeta knocking on death's door and Katniss is desperate to save him, enough to put POISON BERRIES IN HER MOUTH and risk her own life too)... the movie lacks the desperation for both of those crucial parts.

Peeta's leg Peeta's leg Peeta's motherfreaking amputated leg!!!!!!

Things I liked: The sound and sound editing. It's such a small thing, and I have a story to go with this okay? When I saw it in theaters, I disliked a lot of things, but one of them was something I could not put my fingers on. It bugged me for weeks until the movie came out on DVD (yes, I'm old and also saw it at the veeeeeeery end of its theater run where I live... like it was a $5 special...). Anyways. Mr. Kdnfb is an electrical engineer by education and is suuuuuper picky about our sound system in our house. So when I watched it at home, the Thing clicked in my brain. The SOUND. It had been Waaaaaay Off in a way that was awful in that theater for some reason. And once I watched it at home, there was just something about the way they did the sound that made a lot of what I had hated become less of A Thing to me. The more I've watched it, the more I've realized the sound and sound editing was excellent, and I put this as things I liked because my story goes to show how such a tiny thing can really screw up a movie.

Catching Fire

Ranking: 3.5/5 (Omg I'm gonna get barbecued for this one.)

Things I didn't like: See my caveat at the top. Okay, so. One of my biggest problems is just how much got cut to adapt this one to screen. Sooooo many scenes. Finnick "hanging" himself in training, "someone else can get the stupid goat knocked up," all the hullabaloo about the wedding is talked about but that doesn't happen in the movies, the setup for the existence of D13, the plant book and Peeta caring for an injured Katniss, training like Careers, scaring Peeta with the medicine, Katniss really starting to come around to the idea of a rebellion even before the Quell announcement, "Poor Finnick. Is this the first time you haven't been pretty?" Just so much cut for the sake of time and results in the story feeling rushed and sloppy ugh.

While the cast and crew for this one did a much better job adapting the dialogue to the screen, there are still a few crucial bits of dialogue that make me itch with hives. The post jabberjay scene and the death of the morphling mainly. Good lord. You finally let movie!Peeta be as eloquent and convincing as book!Peeta in D11, why not give him the space to do it in the arena, too?

Things I do like: The casting. Hear me out. After the first movie, I was still not entirely sold on Jennifer, Josh, and Liam for the roles they were playing. Really, the only main characters who live through the first movie that I was happy and 100% on board with with were Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks, Woody Harrelson, and Stanley Tucci. Catching Fire is where I accepted Josh's portrayal of Peeta a little bit more, mainly because of the process of film making and what they put forth with CF showed me that he could nail the part if only they'd give him the dialogue and choose the cuts that best showed what he could do. I have no idea what sort of dialogue they were given or how much free reign they were allowed to improvise, but I do know that they will shoot a scene multiple times with multiple different delivery styles and slightly different dialogue. Which means that the actors really don't get a say on which version of their performance makes the final cut. But when the dialogue was spot on in the final version, I felt like Josh pulled off Peeta very well. I also think the way they shot CF allowed Jennifer Lawrence to put forth a better overall performance as well, although I'm still not in love with her as Katniss.

But really it's the Quell Victors/Tributes that I loved about CF. I went in unsure and came out convinced. My caveat here is that I tend to think of the movies as their own thing. The movie versions of the characters are their own iteration and I try really hard not to let them bleed into how I see or think of the characters in the books. That doesn't always happen, but I do try.

Okay this one is kinda not the fault of the first movie, but the increased budget for CF is apparent in several of the things that I liked, namely the costumes, the staging, the special effects. Much better all around.

Mockingjay Part 1

Ranking: 3/5

Things I did not like: Gale. MJ1 finishes off the complete removal of any depth Gale had as a character, a process that started with him rage rushing Head Peacekeeper Thread in CF and culminates here with him condemning Peete's words as a TORTURED PRISONER OF WAR rather than him not only intuiting what's probably happening, but explaining it to Katniss, then trying to protect Katniss from it, like he does in the books. The reason why book!Gale is so much more compelling to me than movie!Gale is because Gale's anger and fire and indignation has REASONING behind it in the book. It is chillingly easy to see the lines his reasoning could possibly take. As in... I've worked in weapons development and I have worked with real people who think like book!Gale or Beetee. Whereas movie!Gale is basically just RAWR!!! fury.

The rescue scene. I could write an entire essay on what's wrong with this, but it all boils down to they tried to shorten it by overlapping the video of the rescue with Finnick talking. Which makes zero military sense btw why the freak would you broadcast helmet video of your team going in on a stealth mission and risk someone intercepting it or noting the presence of an encrypted signal and figuring out what was going on holy hell you would NOT. You'd be freaking SILENT and just waiting to find out!!!!!!! And yes yes, but we need to see it. Okay, but you've already shown scenes with Snow and Seneca talking, Seneca and Haymitch talking, Snow and Plutarch talking, Snow and his granddaughter!!!! cuts from D11 and so much more that Katniss would not have seen, so play this like that. You can still show the audience but clearly keep Katniss and everyone back in D13 in the dark. The way it's shot is nonsensical and also pretty much waters down the horror of what Finnick went through and the impact of his words.

And while we're on this topic, they somehow used that overlapping and ridiculous video feed to try and shorten the scene, but wound up making it interminably and unbelievably long with the layers upon layers upon LAYERS of rooms the rescue squad has to go through and also the Skype Call of Inanity. The whole debacle is so freaking long that I no longer feel tense by the time it's finally over. It's so obvious that the Capitol is letting them take back Peeta, Annie, and Johanna because of how long a stealth mission (which should be almost too fast to process) takes that it becomes stupid for D13 to not suspect something. There's no desperation or high stakes for me with this scene because it's too long and too messy, makes no sense tactically and basically just erases all the emotional depth and pacing of what's in the books ugh. Seriously. You could've spent that time on the torture of the prep team or some of the Boggs and Katniss or Katniss and Finnick content we miss out on. Delly. Gale's siblings. Literally anything that you cut out. Rant over.

"He's gonna kill Peeta".... um no actually it's that Snow won't kill Peeta but keep dangling him in front of you, Katniss...

Things I did like: The sets. District 13 is... perfect. Sterile and drab and utilitarian. Zero luxury or any real sense that humans live there. There are zero personal touches in any of the spaces. No connections to art or joy or life.

Effie. I really wish we'd still gotten the prep team in D13, because it's an avenue through which we see how brutal and lacking in compassion D13 really is, but if it's Effie there with her for the movies, then Elizabeth Banks did a stellar job with what she was given to do. I do wish they'd allowed Finnick to keep his line: "They'll either want to kiss you, kill you, or be you." And if not that, then don't freaking cut the "Why, do you find this distracting?" scene. But overall, Effie in D13 works for me in terms of the movie universe.

Mockingjay Part 2

Ranking: 2.5/5

Things I didn't like: Facepalm worthy wigs and dye jobs. Dude. You are the final chapter of a big budget blockbuster franchise. I understand that the dye jobs have taken their toll and wigs may be just more practical for the actors at this stage, but DO BETTER with the money you have.

Just how much of Johanna they cut out of this part and what that does to Katniss's development.

The ending. It's so lackluster in so many ways. One of the things that I loved about the theme of the ending is how it shows that with the right kind of care, a life can be lived and be worthwhile even after the worst kinds of trauma. We get this through the sheer beauty of Katniss's final words in both the final chapter and the epilogue. To me, the movie ending felt just... blah. And I get that maybe they were aiming for a sense of calm and peace, but instead it came off as blah, we're broken and just going through the motions. Which makes sense right after the war ends, but not as the ending continues into the "Real" scene or the epilogue.

Mahershala Ali is highly underutilized in this movie. Let the man play the freaking part. He's already good with what you let him do. Let him unleash the acting chops and make Boggs sing as a character. And part of this has to do with what they cut from the film, like him carrying Katniss to the hovercraft in D8 and her vomiting on him. Same with Julianne Moore. Coin was not nearly cold or controlling enough nor did she convincingly clash with Katniss enough leading up to Peeta showing up in the Capitol.

The omission of the heartbreaking silence Katniss puts herself into and how they turned the sadness of the final breaking of her friendship with Gale into "Goodbye Gale." Ugh. I laugh at it, but it's not a good change. Like we can't allow a Strong Wo-Man Character to be sad or hurt about this, why not????

Burn. Scars. Burn. Scars. Burn. Scars. BURN! SCAAAAARRRRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!

Things I did like: The music. Odd pick I know, but even though the ending is not well done for me, I almost always start bawling the second Katniss starts singing the meadow lullaby as the credits roll. And that's just one weird instance of me liking the music for this film.

How they brought the hijacking to life. I can't even explain why this works so well, but it does. My only wish is that they'd given more time for the Real/Not Real game to develop on film and included more of Peeta's dialogue that shows both the struggle and him regaining parts of himself -- the cafeteria scene, his words to Pollux and Tigris for example.

And there you have it, @curiousnonny. My super long answer to your question. ;)

#thg thoughts #curiousnonny #anonymous #look at that ask

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the-broken-truth · 2 years

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i have a good one, this is really far fetched but. yandere parents bruce and dinaa where they have a son together, due to neglect of both parents the boy is basically raised by alfred, but the thing is, the son is at the same time ridiculously overpowered and a reincarnator, that upon his death, got back to when he was about 10 now knowing that his quest for parental love is a lost cause, he just says fuck it, drop them and just starts treating alfred as his reals dad.

Broken Truth: So, a reincarnated son of Bruce and Diana who treats Alfred as his father instead of them. Okay, I can weave those words.

The 10-year-old boy looked at the dark ceiling in his room as the rain hit the window from the storm going on outside; normally, the rain would soothe him and help him get some sleep but his mind was everywhere right now. So many things and so little time...well, that was the case for the life he once lived before he was reincarnated into his present body - The Heir of Two Factions.

On his maternal side, he had warrior's blood in his veins, the essence of a proud people that hated his gender, thus his mother sent him here to live with his father, completely ignoring the boy's existence. His mother was Diana Prince - also known as Wonder Woman - The Heiress of Themyscira, the island of the Amazons.

As for his father, he wasn't any better at taking care of his son...well, maybe he cared for the boy's older brothers but that was all. The Dark Knight of Gotham City and the Richest Bachelor of said city - The Batman - also known as Bruce Wayne.

[Name] growled to himself at the thought of his parents before throwing the blanket off his body and getting out of bed. He marched to the door and opened it before leaving the room and marching down the hallway, to the stairs, and down them.

'I need something to drink. My blood is getting too hot.' [Name] growled in his mind - the last time his blood was this hot was on a battlefield in his past life. He walked into the kitchen where the light was on and the Family Butler was standing there with a cup of coffee and a newspaper.

"Young Master, what are you doing up? It's past your bedtime." Alfred said as he closed the newspaper.

"Sorry, Alfred, I just wanted something to drink; my blood feels like it's boiling right now." [Name] said as he walked over to the butler with a tired look. Without words, Alfred rose from his seat and walked over to the fridge with an empty glass and began to pour some apple juice - the young master's favorite - before handing the glass to the boy who smiled at him and started drinking the glass's contents before the butler, who smiled at this before offering the boy to sit beside him.

"Now, tell me, Young Master, what has your blood boiling at this time of night? Are the memories of your past life bothering you again?" Alfred asked with a raised eyebrow. Yes, [Name] told Alfred about his past life and the butler believed him - he knew things that no child should know if not living those memories again.

"Yes, once again, I find myself plagued by my past life's choices because I'm living through them again - trying to get my mother and father to love me...but nothing is working." [Name] exhaled as he looked down at his drink as Alfred placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"I am aware of your strife, Young Master, but sometimes some battles aren't worth fighting because it's a waste of our time; I don't think Mast Bruce would notice you as his son because he has others, and Diana's people aren't fond of men. Please, live your life and forget about Master Bruce or Lady Diana." Alfred said as he smiled at the boy who suddenly hugged him, "Master [Name]?"

"Screw them. I don't care about them anymore. You can be my dad, Alfred, at least you care about me." [Name] said as he snuggled in Alfred's stomach with a smile on his face. The butler smiled and rubbed the boy's back and hugged him.

"It would be my honor, son."

#platonic yandere #alfred pennyworth #son reader #reincarnated reader

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m0use123 · 2 years

Text

"Guys, Asami ! I'm back"! Korra yelled as she ran across the park, to their usual hang out spot by the duck pond.

The group of teenagers all looked up at the sounds of that all to familiar voice.

"Korra"! Five sets of voices called at once.They all stood and staired open mouthed at their friend.

"What happened"? Bolin asked in amazement, "you were kinda chubby before you left and now ...... ".

"You're ripped"? Wu supplied, rushing over and hugging his friend.

"Oh, well. Yeah. You kinda do alot of running in military school", Korra blushed, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I'll say, great to have you back Kor" Mako smiled and hugged her tightly. "Are those abs I can feel"? He teased her.

Blushing like mad, Korra lifted her t-shirt slightly to show a well defined 8 pack that had certainly not been there before the teen had left.

"Those clothes are massive on you Kor, we'll have to go on an emergency shopping trip", Opal told her sternly.

"Sure Opy, that'll be fun" Korra told her with a half hearted smile.

"You're a terrible liar" Opal told her, pulling the younger girl into a bone crushing hug.

Once the huddle moved back, Korra came face to face with the one person who had kept her going for months of mountain top runs at 4 o'clock in the morning.

"Hey Sami" Korra said quietly as the two were drawn together magneticly.

"Hey Korra" Asami all but whispered as they stepped closer and closer to one another.

"Kiss. Kiss. Kiss" Bolin chanted.

Opal hit him, but soon "awww'd" when the two kissed.

"Finally" Mako muttered and his boyfriend just shush'd him.

- - - - - -

"Finally alone" Korra mumbled into Asami's long black hair as the two snuggled together on a sun lounger next to Asami's swimming pool.

Asami giggled and crawled further up her girlfriend's body and pecked her on the lips. "We've been apart all school year baby, I'm sure you could've waited a bit longer, you didn't have to kick our friends out".

Korra chuckled and wrapped her arms around Asami's bikini clad body.

"Easy for you to say Sams. The thought of your soft kisses is all that kept me going on those winter marches".

Asami paused, she nuzzled into her girlfriend's neck and said softly, "I'm sorry you were sent away because of me".

"Asami. What are you talking about"? Korra questioned her, glancing down from her comfortable position.

"It was all my fault you got into that fight. That's the reason you were expelled and sent away to that military academy".

"Wow, wow, wow. Sami, baby calm down. It wasn't your fault. I punched Amon of my own free will, you didn't MAKE me do anything.

"But"?

"But nothing Asami, it was my own fault, I messed up, not you. Now. I only have the summer to make you feel as loved as humanly possible, and I for one, don't intend to miss a single moment of it".

- - - - - -

The young couple kissed, hugged and held hands right up to the first day of September.

- - - - -

It was starting to drizzle as Korra stood in her full military school uniform on the station platform, surrounded by her friends and girlfriend.

With her military green kit bag positioned securely on her shoulder Korra gave her friends each a strong one armed hug.

"Do you have to go"? Asami asked softly into Korra's dress uniform.

"I don't want to baby, but I have no choice, please, don't make this harder than it has to be".

- - - - - -

"Attention"! Captain Kuvira Beifong yelled to her troops.

Korra scrambled off her top bunk and landed with a thud on the hard wooden dormitory floor. Lining up, and standing ram rode straight with her troop, along the bases on their bunk beds.

"Avatar, commander Bumi's office, on the double".

Korra marched double time out of the dormitory and up to the headmasters office.

She knocked and waited.

"Enter".

Korra gulped and opened the door, she caught a glimpse of the office, before her vision was obscuried by a maine of black hair.

"Asami"? Korra asked quietly, she could recognised that perfume anywhere.

"I've pulled some strings, your coming home baby, your coming home".

Korra's face broke into her first true smile in weeks.

"Thankyou Asami, Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou".

~ Fin ~

#korrasami #legend of korra #military #school

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afaramir · 2 months

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hiiii denethor anon here!! wow you’re really IN IT now (denethorposting). not to add more fuel to your anger but last week i saw someone say they hated denethor. and i just realised god they don’t get him even on tumblr do they. since then i’ve been silently fuming in rage. anyway… i am very Very Intrigued by both your faramir-goes-to-rivendell-au and denethor-thorongil relationship (if you ever want to write another 800 words about this, i am here for it 👀) and this line “each of them sharpens himself upon the whetstone of the other…” fuck. fucking insane actually.

unfortunately i won’t be replying for several days (i’ve had to keep my phone in another room to keep myself from getting distracted) . my exams have started AND i’m going through some shit irl :( it’s alright tho i’ll have more Faramir and Denethor Hours soon <- chanting this constantly haha. but i am with you when denethorposting IN SPIRIT okay. oh and can we please please please have denethor december? 🙏 bye will be here soon after my exams (that will be after the 23rd march i’m afraid)

hiii denethor anon <333 i am SO sorry this is so late truly attempting to figure out how to write AND see my friends AND do things like clean my apartment and go to the grocery store while working The Job...it has eaten my life. and this week my regular coffee shop switched their hours bc i live in my old college town and they are on spring break and it has sent me directly to hell. the death of My Routine…i have coped by INCESSANTLY denethorposting on tumblr dot com. i am somehow EVEN MORE in it than i was when you sent this ask. i hope you enjoy me being truly crazyinsane whenever you get a chance to look at all those posts lol. would love 2 hear your thoughts on them. but ANYWAY as always it is so lovely to see you, i'm sorry things have been tough but truly with my whole heart i bestow upon you the strength of denethor's sixty-year psychic war (with none of the associated madness) to make it through. looking at the date i hope you are free now.

here is the mandated readmore because i have never met brevity in my whole life. u said write another 800 words and i took that as a challenge um this post is like 2000 words. well...back on my bullshit

i mean this with all the love and joy in my heart but i laughed so much. no my dear friend they do not get him on tumblr. they have not gotten him on tumblr from the beginning. if you have been spared the incessant tomato jokes i truly…[crying] I Wish I Were You So Bad. this guy doesnt even know about the tumblr denethor slander (POSITIVE) (YEARNING). its the trenches out here for real. i just live in my little bubble with me and you and like four other mutuals/Denethor Understanders and that is it.

speaking of denethor and the rivendell au. i miss the days when i was working on the faramir-in-gondor scenes. emotionally it felt like dying but i kind of knew what was going on. now i am in rivendell taking and failing this history of middle earth exam. and i am so very….the next time we see denethor for real is in return of the king. now girl…how will i survive another 80k words. i miss my boy my dear darling my tortured victim of the narrative. and according to the paragraph i just wrote faramir does too but is Refusing to admit it to himself<3

im also RIDICULOUSLY torn on how i want to resolve his arc. now just between you and me. and anyone who bothers to click that read more. I DONT WANT TO KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO LIVE. GOD I WANT HIM TO LIVE. I WILL WRITE YOU A THOUSAND HAPPY ENDINGS. except its not a happy ending its a you are not allowed to die you are forced to contend with your choices you must keep living ending. because he will always be tragic no matter what. but its ALSO a you can rest now you can be at peace son of gondor you have won your war. all you sacrificed has been worth it. you have given your all when that's what duty asked you for and it has been enough. and that makes my poor heart weep.

like on one hand the idea of resolving his storyline with faramir.......the opportunity for some kind of reconciliation, some kind of understanding between them...god. delicious. i know in my heart that faramir comes home and IS the lord that denethor once dreamed of being. not playing at it...he is high and lordly and gentle and the world bends around his will and he knows exactly what to bow to and when to stand his ground and his powers are honed to a keen edge that he uses with the utmost care and. AUGH. he walks into the citadel the IMAGE of his father. it makes me feel FERAL. and how would denethor react to that. man.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HOW DO I END THE STORY. like. LOL. do u know what i mean. likelihood of me being able to just have a triumphant coronation and tie it all up with a bow is soooo small. the narrative contortions i would have to go through. to have denethor accept that and still be in character. Girl....no thank u <3 so we havent worked THAT out yet. like how much of the madness and despair do i want to put into the narrative. We Shall See. IM not politically savvy enough to get real into the weeds with it all so im kind of rotating just. a beautiful set of reunions with the fellowship. eowyn and faramir get engaged. boromir and faramir see all their dreams of a gondor restored come true. we skate over the political minefield and deeply navigate the beginnings of denethor and faramir's relationship in this new world. and among it all, within it all, is hope, and a new dawn. and curtain.

i got distracted but re: we are in rivendell. it IS kind of fun to think about the themes and narratives. i am pushing my Let Faramir (And Denethor) Be Numenorean + Let Numenoreans Be Weird agendas so so sooo hard and i am having the time of my life with that specifically. birds follow him around and pick up the tunes he sings. he hears the voices of the people he loves in his head. he falls into a river and after having a breakdown about it promptly decides that The River Is Testing Him And He Has Passed. he gets to rivendell and INSTANTLY knows that there is someone Very Like Him Here (its elrond. the elrond-elros-faramir connection has me FROTHING at the mouth. faramir looks at elrond and sees his father and sees every statue of elros in minas tirith and Knows that this here is the son of earendil, gil-estel, his brightest north star. elrond looks at faramir and sees his brother, his dear dead doomed brother, and every numenorean descended from him and all their sins and all their glories and yet, kind as summer, sees beauty and knowledge and a strange quiet man who carries all the weight of his country on his shoulders and yet knows him, knows the legends; perhaps the blood of numenor is not yet spent in the south)

i just think that Every Elf that meets faramir along the way is like woah...hold up. there's something up with THIS guy! men ARENT supposed to do that! not anymore anyway! galadriel is Lowkey Threatened by him. and isnt that beautiful. woman who could be queen of the earth sees god's special chosen boy and goes hang on a minute. Fuck. i think they work out their shit by the time the company leaves lothlorien but like...just thinking about how faramir lowkey blamed her for boromir's death in rotk! idk how their dynamic is exaclty gonna manifest but there's definitely some sort of similar mindreader2mindreader tension!

AND. um the idea of faramir travelling with the fellowship discovering that maybe...well. he has never wanted to be a warrior but he has been honed into a blade anyway. by his father and by necessity. and perhaps for the first time in his life...outside of gondor he does not need to be all that. he can be mithrandir's pupil without censure he can be scholarly and witty and cunning - he is all these things, in gondor. but there he has to be them, and now he can discover that yes, this is what he wants to be. and he has never let his father and the expectations of his position STOP him but there is always a weight, there is always the knowledge that your actions are disapproved of, and being away from that for a while is i just think. really good for him. see above re: he comes home the image of his father in a gentler time. keep honking im sitting in my car crying about denethor ii twenty sixth steward of gondor.jpg (<- my greatest creation PLEASE click the link lol)

ALSO IM THRILLED YOU LIKED THAT WHETSTONE LINE LOL i kind of blacked out when i typed it on the page. i think truly the crazy thing about denethor and faramir is that they SHOULD understand each other. they know so much about each other and yet are so incompetent at actually putting it to any good use towards, you know, improving their relationship. faramir is incredibly emotionally intelligent AND can read minds AND has taken so many of what he probably views as denethor's worst traits and turned them to gentler uses. (im talking about his powers but im ALSO talking about that thing he does when he encounters frodo and sam where he plays woe is me my brother is dead and i miss him sooo much to get on their good sides. yes of course he misses boromir more than anything else in the world. no he is not above using it to his advantage. and we see the SAME THING when gandalf and pippin come to minas tirith. hey isn't it crazy that both of them use boromir as a. manipulation chip. even after he's dead. hey thats kind of fucked up actually!) and denethor is…well denethor is denethor. ok im mostly messing around and thought that sentence was funny. i think he Knows most everything that goes on in faramir's head and yet Wilfully Chooses to interpret it in the worst ways because its just soo....very I Thought I Raised You Better Than That/I Honed You To Be My Blade Stop Defying Me. and despite all that the Problem is that they understand each other right up until they don't. they know how THEY feel about each other (incredible love that they can only express in the worst ways/think they're expressing only to be spurned by the other) but cannot POSSIBLY imagine that the other feels the same way.

ive gone on for SO SO LONG ALREADY LOL but. what do i have to say about denethor and thorongil. not enough and too much all at once. they're so toxic and awful for each other they're MADE for each other they're beautiful narrative parallels they're homoerotic besties they're bitter rivals they're pawns in a proxy war they're locked at all times in a psychic psychosexual situationship. um the enemy of my enemy is kissing me with tongue. idk i have more symbolism and actual analysis especially of the denethor-ecthelion-thorongil Issue. but we are just getting into it. so i will start with the situations bc i have two angles for this. on one hand i do think it is very fun if they constantly homoerotically circle each other for years and years and never do a THING about it. like...this is a stitching up wounds wiping blood off each others faces battle couple/situationship situation that THEN turns into a ridiculously high functioning political rival partnership bent together over books long into the night catching each others eye in council meetings using their very real disdain for each other for Manipulation Purposes and getting uh. SO hot over it. like.....Do You Know What I Mean. just. truly unresolved sexual tension THROUGH THE ROOF. it DELIGHTS me. they are always putting themselves in situations. and then NOT making out about it. AND THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS!! THE WHOLE TIME!! SO THEY KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH THEY WANT EACH OTHER AND STILL ARENT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!! like thats just really good. but on the other hand.......the idea of just an absolutely terrible beautiful toxic rivals with benefits codependent situationship. i hate you so much and you know what we DO need to make out about it. every time they fuck it is a power play and they are having SO much fun with it. they will both start arguments with each other (AND IN PUBLIC TOO) just so they can fight and make up. the mind reading...Oh You Know What I Mean. taylor swift voice we had this big white city all to ourselves we blocked the noise with the sound of i need you and for the first time i had something to lose! logically thorongil is not yet in his grubby ranger era but the idea of him being dirt smeared all the time and hanging out with prim proper polished denethor. in the fic (which does exist and DOES follow the second model) theres a scene where hes just chilling with his head in denethor's lap and denethor is actually rather delighted and devoting ALL of his copious braincells to pretending not to be. Man. well never say im not a slut for contrast. and now the rest of what i could say is simply straight up redacted for indecency so it is time for this post to be over. the last thing i have to say is that it absolutely ruins denethor's life forever when thorongil up and leaves. sometimes a situationship....anyway. MUCH LOVE TO YOU AS ALWAYS yes we will have denethor december i already have an url saved.

#from the inbox #Anonymous #denethor anon #WAIT I PROMISE ILL TALK MORE ABOUT DENETHOR AND THORONGIL NEXT TIME BUT THE POST WAS ALREADY TWO THOUSAND WORDS #I HAD TO CUT MYSELF SHORT A BIT. I HAVE A LOT MORE TO SAY LOL #i hope this ridiculously long post made up for the THREE WEEKS it took me to reply<3 #denethorposting #<- funnily this IS the url i have saved. for denethor december. life is beautiful

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temporarilyunstable · 9 months

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Hi, I like your cover pic. Are you a fan of ShizuAka? Do you think the show is pushing them as a couple? Since they have a not so big age gap? Compare to Kogami?

Hello! Yes I am a HUGE fan... I shipped them since this scene when PPFI premiered:

I was alone for a bit and was a little afraid to talk about them and then a few months later some fans started to notice it too (@oatbrew answering a bunch of asks a few months after PPFI aired, one of which was anon sent by @shikkokans who is probably my closest sounding board when it comes to shizuaka these days whoops I went on a tangent). Anyway, Jay's answers and the awakened interest in it gave me a bit of courage to be embarrassingly annoying about them and began using the tag shizuaka (chose that over akashizu bec it sounded weird lol), then I began writing fics and shoving it down everyone's throats (this is mostly on twitter but i do occasionally do it here as well 🤪).

To be honest I think it's too early to say anything about shizuaka, but I'm not gonna lie, the possibilities are there— I can talk about them so much especially the supplementary materials (novels, deleted script, profiling 3) that I think were purposely removed from the show (OR intentionally added bec these were published after the show aired— could be either) but for now it's nothing. And, well I always like to say there's nothing there, but there's everything to jump off from, if that makes sense. Doesn't take a lot for me to ship but for me to ship this hard it's because there's solid potential and I can't unsee the connections... sorry for being vague! It's because shizuaka is such a small ship right now and I have so much fun with it, I have already seen some fans who mock it because it's a threat to koaka if it does happen. I never stopped shipping koaka, just been shipping them differently from before and with shizuaka I truly don't mind sharing with people who are genuinely interested and not here to yuck my yum, know what I mean?

I will say this. If last March 27, 2020 I called it a crack ship, I cannot, in all my capacity as an audience and a PP fan be able to say the same about them with the information I have now. I'm sorry for the long non-answer but you got me started and I just love them so much so sorry if this is annoying to read... if you're still interested please send me another ask and I'll be happy to elaborate 😊.

As for the "pushing", I think that anyone who walks into psycho pass expecting romance and specially those really seeking validation through "canon status" is setting themselves up for disappointment (not saying you are by the way, this is just a general observation). PP is really not that kind of show. The best any ship fan could hope for is screen time - and meaningful screen time at that. This is why koaka is the most popular ship (in non-JP speaking countries), because despite the fact that creators can say what their intentions were (eg koaka are platonic comrade buddies) and the audience absolutely refusing to see otherwise, the story has already established koaka's relationship to be the most important of the series so far. The audience can make of that what they will, the creators are not stopping fans from doing so buuuuut I also get this feeling they're the kind of team who do not want their intentions to be brushed over by fans hence the "course-correcting" that happened in the midst of promoting PPP (note: THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION).

In any case, PP never explicitly depicts romance, and you can count with your fingers ON ONE HAND the actual romantic scenes—by this I mean literal canon— not romantic as interpreted by fans. So no, I don't think the show is pushing for any ship at all, regardless of any age gaps. What I can guarantee is that the marketing team will sure as hell use that sweet sweet shipping fuel to earn a bit more money from merchandise sales 😉.

#psycho pass #shizuaka #akane tsunemori #shizuka homura #psycho pass 3 #moral of the story #canon is canon and it only matters when it serves you

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sebstanaddict · 2 years

Text

Always You

Chapter 23 - Tragic Symphony

Summary : A love story chronicling the love and life of Sebastian Stan and Female!Reader. Inspired by Sebastian Stan's recent love life.

In this chapter we'll find out what happens after Sebastian saw Nurse Stacy on the ground frothing at the mouth

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters: 23 / 25 (added chapter count as I wrote more)

Chapter List >

Warning : fluff, violence

Word count : 6.3k

Well, I know what you're doing

Girl, I see what you're doing

I'm caught up in a dark emotion

I've given you all that's left of me

You're giving me a crazy notion

I'm falling for your tragic symphony

I'm caught up in a dark emotion

I'm falling for the trap you set for me

You're giving me a crazy notion

I'm falling for your tragic symphony

Uh-uh, your tragic symphony

You played me once, but I did it twice

I guess I'm taking my own bad advice

Woohoo, uh

Well, the lie you composed is intricate

But if it don't bleed then it ain't no cut

Well, I know what you're doing

Girl, I see what you're doing

Tragic Symphony - Hanson

-----

The Brooklyn Hospital Center, New York - March 2022

"Mr.Stan.. excuse me.. Mr.Stan? Are you alright?" The security officer waved his hand in front of Sebastian, snapping him back to the current moment.

He was still feeling shocked about what happened a couple of hours before. He and Y/n had somehow avoided a murder attempt. The cupcakes Shannon had sent them contained poison. Cyanide it seemed from the effects it had given nurse Stacy.

Nurse Stacy was thankfully alive. The doctors and nurses in the hospital acted quickly. They pumped out her stomach and gave her antidotes. She was still being cared for in the ICU but the doctors said she would live. He was so glad she would. He didn't know if he could handle the guilt if she didn't make it.

"I'm sorry. I'm just still shocked about what happened." Sebastian said, rubbing his hands on his face as he tried to release the anxiety he was feeling.

"I understand Mr.Stan. I'm really sorry but we had to call the police because this is a criminal matter. They're coming shortly and they would want to speak with you and your girlfriend if it's possible." The security officer said.

"Yes, of course, they can talk to me. But my girlfriend is in the isolation room in the ICU. She has Covid. I don't think the doctors are going to allow them in. She can barely speak anyway because of the oxygen mask she's wearing." Sebastian explained.

"I see. Well, perhaps they don't need to talk to her. I'm sure they don't want to risk catching Covid." the officer said.

"Yeah. They most likely don't want to. Besides, she's the victim and whatever they want to ask her I'll be able to answer." Sebastian said.

"Very well Mr.Stan. Thank you. We will let the police know where you are once they're here." The officer said.

"Thank you. I'm just going to wait here for them." Sebastian said, referring to the waiting area in front of the ICU where they were sitting.

The security officer nodded then left him alone. About half an hour later two police detectives from NYPD came. They asked Sebastian a series of questions. He told them all that he knew. He also insisted that the cupcakes were most likely not sent by Shannon even though the card on the box said so. There was no way Shannon would hurt them deliberately.

"Well Mr.Stan, if you think Shannon doesn't have anything to do with it, do you have any idea who does?" One of the police detectives asked.

His mind went straight to Ana. But he didn't have any proof of her involvement at all. Deep down he also wished it wasn't Ana who had tried to kill him and Y/n. He couldn't comprehend why she would go that far. It was one thing for her to be playing with threats, it was another when she actually acted upon those threats. He also didn't know what the ramifications would be like if he mentioned her name at all. So he decided to ask Emma first about it before saying anything.

"I'm sorry detective.. I have no idea. Y/n and I don't have enemies, at least as far as we are aware. So this is really shocking to us to know someone out there wants us dead." Sebastian said while looking straight at the detective's eyes.

"Very well Mr.Stan. If you have anything else to add, or maybe you can recall something that you haven't told us, you can contact us at this number." The detective said, giving him his name card.

"Of course detective.." Sebastian took the card and glanced at it. "Thomas." He continued and the detective nodded.

"By the way, we're going to take the cupcakes as evidence, we will bring them for investigation. There might be finger prints on it we can use to track down the person who sent it. We'll let you know if we find anything." The detective said.

"Thank you detective. I'll give you my assistant's number in case you need to contact me." Sebastian said. He then gave Edward's number to the detective.

"Thank you for your cooperation Mr.Stan." detective Thomas said as soon as Sebastian was done giving Edward's number.

Sebastian nodded then the detective left with his partner to interview the nurse that was on Nurse Stacy's side when she collapsed onto the floor.

Sebastian was still feeling shaken, so he decided to go to the cafeteria downstairs to eat breakfast and get some coffee. He realized he hadn't had breakfast and he was feeling slightly weak. At the cafeteria he ordered scrambled eggs with bacon and a cup of coffee. After he was done eating, he sipped his coffee while giving Shannon a call. He told her what had happened. Shannon was completely shocked upon hearing it. She had just arrived in New York and was about to visit him and Y/n when he called her.

"I'm just gonna change and freshen up then I'll come over there." Shannon said to him through the phone.

"Okay, I appreciate it Shannon. Thank you." He said.

About an hour later Shannon came and met Sebastian at the cafeteria. She looked visibly shaken while Sebastian recounted the story to her.

"Oh my God. I can't imagine if you or Y/n had eaten the cupcakes." She closed her mouth with her hand in shock.

"I know. I have a feeling Ana sent it." Sebastian said.

"I have the same feeling. I mean, we all know how much she hates Y/n. It's only logical to think she might have done it." Shannon said.

"Yes. I just.. still can't believe it." Sebastian said, sighing.

"You know what, I can probably ask Merida about it. She and I became rather close in LA." Shannon said as she pulled out her cellphone from her bag.

"What?! You're friends with Merida?" Sebastian asked, flabbergasted.

"Before you think negatively about it, she's actually nice. She doesn't know most of what Ana had done to you and Y/n. When I told her about it she was shocked." Shannon said.

"Are you sure she wasn't just acting?" Sebastian sneered.

"No, she really didn't know. I trust her." Shannon said.

"Well okay. I'll take your word for it. But if she's nice how come she let Ana send those poisoned cupcakes? She could have stopped her." Sebastian said.

"You know firsthand how Ana is. One way or another she gets what she wants." Shannon said.

"Yeah, you're right." Sebastian said, leaning back on the chair and taking a deep breath.

Shannon tried to call Merida but her phone was off, she was sent straight to voice mail.

"Hey Merida.. how are you? Sorry to bother you. But I have something important to ask you. Could you please contact me back? Thanks." Shannon said, leaving a message for Merida. She hoped Merida was okay and would contact her back.

"By the way, do you think I can see Y/n? I miss her so much!" Shannon said as she returned her cellphone back to her bag.

"I'll ask the nurses and doctor whether you can come in." Sebastian said.

"Thanks! I'm also curious about her baby bump!" Shannon said, smiling wide at him.

"Oh yeah, she's showing already." Sebastian smiled.

"And you're gonna love our baby. She's so responsive to our voices." He said proudly.

"Wait a minute. You're having a baby girl?!" Shannon squealed in delight.

"Ooops.. I forgot that we haven't told you yet about the gender of our baby." He clapped his forehead.

"Seb! You're gonna have a baby girl!" Shannon exclaimed in delight.

"Sshhh.. don't shout. I don't want the public to know yet. Obviously." He said while looking around the cafeteria, hoping no one had heard Shannon.

"Sorry, Seb. I'm just soo excited!" She said.

"Understandable." He smiled.

"By the way, do you want to go up now?" He asked.

"Oh sure!" She responded excitedly.

Sebastian finished the rest of his coffee then stood up. They then went to the ICU together.

-----

For the next couple of days Y/n's condition gradually became better. Her coughs were almost nonexistent. She didn't have fluid buildup anymore in her lungs, and her oxygen saturation had reached an average of 97%. So dr.Jake took off the CPAP machine from her and gave her regular oxygen supplementation. Since the CPAP mask was off her, the nasogastric tube was also taken off from her. So she was able to start eating solid food again.

As her condition became better, eventually she was moved out of the ICU to a regular ward. However, her PCR test still came back positive for Covid, so she was placed in an isolation room near the regular ward. Sebastian was able to visit her longer. The doctors allowed him to visit her three times a day, in the morning, noon and afternoon. In each visit he was allowed to stay for an hour. He was still required to wear protective gear but he was allowed to wear a long sleeved hospital gown with a separate head covering instead of a hazmat suit.

It was a Sunday morning when Sebastian visited Y/n. The horrible event of almost being poisoned felt so far away to him that he almost forgot about it. When he came in Y/n was eating her breakfast. Sebastian immediately came and sat on a chair next to her and insisted on feeding her even though Y/n was able to eat on her own.

"Seb, I can eat by myself, thank you." She said as she tried to snatch the fork Sebastian had taken from her hand earlier.

"No sweetheart, let me feed you. You just sit back and relax, conserve your energy. Okay?" Sebastian said, taking some of the scrambled eggs on her plate with the fork and putting it in front of her mouth.

Y/n finally gave up and opened her mouth, her face turned beet red as he fed her the scrambled eggs.

"You look cute when you blush." Sebastian said, making her blush even more.

"I love you, sweetie." He said as he gently caressed her cheek.

Y/n swallowed and smiled "I love you too Iubirea mea."

"Ooh.. someone's jealous." Y/n exclaimed suddenly as she felt her baby's kick inside her stomach.

"I love you too little bean.." Sebastian leaned closer to Y/n's stomach and spoke to his baby. He put his hand on her stomach and caressed it. He could feel the flutters and kicks of his baby, making him smile.

"Well someone is very energized today. I think she likes scrambled eggs, honey." He commented.

"She does this whenever she hears your voice, Iubirea mea." Y/n shrugged.

"I think she really is going to be daddy's girl. I'm kind of jealous." She frowned.

"Oh honey, you're her mom. You will have a special place in her heart. No doubt about it." He said, squeezing her hand in encouragement.

"I know Iubirea mea.. I was just joking." She winked making Sebastian laugh.

Sebastian continued feeding her breakfast while they chatted. They were planning on what to do after Y/n was discharged from the hospital. As it happened, Sebastian still had some events to attend in LA. He wanted to take Y/n with him to LA but Y/n wasn't sure she could travel just yet. However Sebastian wasn't going to let Y/n stay in her apartment by herself. So they decided to ask his mother whether Y/n could stay with her in Nyack while he was in LA. Y/n had decided to take a leave from her job as she wanted to focus on her pregnancy and gaining her health back, so she didn't need to stay in the city. His mother agreed of course and was very excited about it.

"Thank you so much, mom. We really appreciate it." Sebastian said on the phone to his mother.

"Yes, of course. I'll tell her." He continued.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later, mom. Bye." He said and he hung up.

"Well, she said yes and she sends her love to you and little bean." He said to Y/n.

"Oh that's great! I look forward to staying with your mom." She said in delight.

"You know, I'm guessing she's already thinking to make one of the guest rooms to become the nursery." He said, laughing.

"But we're not having our baby at your mom's, right? I don't want to burden your mom if we stay at her house too long. I mean, once you get back from LA we can go back and stay at either my apartment or yours." Y/n said in concern.

"Of course not, honey. I don't want to burden her either. We can go stay at my apartment. It has two rooms after all. We can turn one to become the nursery." Sebastian said.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm going to miss my place though. I mean, do you realize I've stayed there for 18 years. Almost as long as I've known you." She chuckled.

"Oh my, you're right. That place holds so many memories." He smiled as he reminisced on all of the times he spent there with her.

"It sure does. Do you think we can just keep renting it? Like turning it into a special place for the weekend, maybe?" She asked.

"Of course we can, honey. Whatever makes you happy, my love." Sebastian said as he gently caressed her cheek with his fingers.

"Thank you so much Iubirea mea." Y/n said, smiling widely.

Just then a nurse wearing protective gear and long sleeved hospital gown came in bringing some medicine.

"Good morning. Time for your medicine." The nurse said.

As it happened Y/n had finished all of her breakfast. So it was perfect timing to consume her medicine. The nurse put a small tray on the table next to Y/n's bed with several tablets on them. In addition to that she held a small glass vial with light blue liquid in it and a syringe.

"I'm sorry, what is that? I've never taken that before." Y/n said, referring to the light blue liquid.

"Oh it's just additional multivitamin the doctor had prescribed for you." The nurse said.

The nurse's voice sounded familiar to Sebastian. But he felt it wasn't the voice of any of the nurses he had met. The nurse took the light blue liquid with a syringe from the vial. Her hand was slightly shaking making him feel suspicious. He racked his brain hard trying to remember where he had heard that voice before.

-----

Brooklyn, New York - March 2022

Shannon was cooking some breakfast when her cellphone rang. She glanced at her cellphone which she had put on the dining table. She didn't recognize the number showing on her cellphone's screen. Wondering who could be calling her, she picked it up and put her cellphone between her shoulder and cheek while she flipped the pancake she was cooking on the pan.

"Hello."

"Hello.. Shannon.. it's Merida." The voice on the other line said.

"Merida? Hey, what's up?" Shannon said.

"Can we meet now? I have something important to tell you." Merida asked. She sounded a little nervous.

"Oh okay. Sure. Why don't you come over to my place?" Shannon responded.

"Okay. Can I have your address?" Merida asked.

"I'll send you the location on Google map." Shannon replied.

"Okay. I'll see you soon." Merida said.

"Yeah. See you, Merida." Shannon said.

Shannon wondered why Merida wanted to meet. After she contacted her from the hospital when she was visiting Y/n and Sebastian, Merida had responded by sending her a text message. Shannon asked her whether she knew anything about the poisoned cupcakes Y/n and Sebastian had received. Merida told her that she didn't know anything about that. She told Shannon that Ana and she had parted ways because she had a job to do back in Spain. Hence, she had no idea what Ana was up to. The fact that Merida suddenly called and asked to meet her was very strange. She also did it from a different number. She had a bad feeling about it. About an hour after that call, Merida came.

"So, what is it that you want to tell me Merida?" Shannon asked after she made Merida some tea and they both sat on the sofa in her living room.

"It's Ana, she.. she's planning on killing Y/n.." Merida said, her voice shook.

"I knew it! She sent those poisoned cupcakes didn't she?" Shannon asked.

"She did.. yeah. I'm sorry." Merida said, her head hung.

"Well what else is she planning? Do you know?" Shannon asked.

"She still has some left over cyanide from the cupcakes. I think she wants to somehow give it to Y/n directly." Merida replied.

"Oh no!" Shannon closed her mouth with her hand in surprise.

"I'm sorry. I was going to let you know about the cupcakes, but she took my cellphone. She didn't want me to contact you or Sebastian. I had to buy a new one." Merida said.

"Wait.. what? Since when did she keep your phone?" Shannon asked, flabbergasted.

"Since before we left from LA." Merida said.

"Oh no no no.. that means I've been talking with her all this time!" Shannon exclaimed.

"You what?" Merida asked in confusion.

"I tried contacting you a couple of days ago when I got back from LA. At first you didn't respond but then you texted me back. Wait, let me grab my phone." Shannon said and she stood up to pick her cellphone from the kitchen table.

"Here, you sent me these messages." Shannon showed her cellphone to Merida.

"I didn't send these. Ana did." Merida said after she studied the messages on Shannon's phone.

"Oh no! I told her where Y/n's room was. She asked just yesterday." Shannon clapped her forehead.

"Well we have to get there as soon as possible, and let Sebastian know. She could already be there by now! She left our apartment a couple of hours ago, saying she wanted to visit a friend. I thought she was going to see Jose." Merida said.

"Okay, let me call Seb." Shannon said.

Shannon opened the contacts on her cellphone and pressed on Sebastian's number. However, after waiting until the 10th ring Sebastian didn't answer.

"Let's just go there. I'm going to grab my jacket and we can go." Shannon said.

"Okay." Merida said as she stood up and walked toward the front door.

"I hope we can still safe her." Merida said as they went outside of Shannon's apartment.

"I hope so too!" Shannon exclaimed as they reached the sidewalk and she tried to hail a cab. Her heart pounded fast in her ribcage. If she was too late and anything happened to Y/n, she wouldn't forgive herself.

-----

The Brooklyn Hospital Center, New York - March 2022

"Are you new here? I feel I've never seen you come in here before." Sebastian asked as he studied the peculiar nurse.

"Oh yes.. I.. uh.. I'm usually down at the ER." The nurse said, sounding a little nervous.

The nurse was just about to inject the liquid into the IV bag connected to Y/n's arm when her sleeve slipped and her wrist was in full view. Sebastian saw it then. He recognized the expensive watch adorning the nurse's wrist. There was no one else he knew that would wear that watch. He stood up quickly and grabbed the nurse's hand before she had the chance to inject the liquid, knocking the syringe to the ground. He then grabbed her mask off her mouth and saw the face of the person he hated the most in the world.

"Ana!" Sebastian shouted as he held Ana's hand tight and dragged her away from Y/n.

"Ow! Seb, you're hurting me!" Ana complained as she tried to break away from Sebastian's grip.

"Me?! Hurting you?! What the h**l Ana! You're trying to hurt Y/n! It was also you who sent those cupcakes weren't you? I'm going to bring you to the police right now!" Sebastian said, dragging her toward the door.

"Oh no you don't. If you do I'll release that incriminating footage of you and Lily. And you can kiss your reputation good bye!" Ana threatened.

"Do you really think I care about that? You know I also have something of you that can ruin your reputation." Sebastian sneered.

"Oh, that video of me in Riyadh? It didn't show anything! Just me entering a room with a guy. No big deal. Didn't show me kissing him or anything, unlike your footage!" Ana shouted.

"Fine! Release it then! Release my footage then I'll take you to the police. You're still in a worst place then I ever will, Ana. I dare you.. release it!" Sebastian threatened, his face inches from hers, his voice raised in anger.

"Fine!" Ana said, huffing in anger. She twisted her hand so she was free from Sebastian's grip and pulled out her cellphone.

Sebastian stood back but kept on his guard. He wasn't going to let her leave just like that.

"Seb.. are you sure about this?" Y/n asked as she watched both of them from the bed, heart pounding in fear.

"Yeah, I don't care anymore. It's all gonna be okay, sweetheart, don't worry. Just stay there, okay?" Sebastian said, holding his hand up at her, trying to comfort her.

"Okay." Y/n nodded.

"Sweetheart..? You guys are pathetic.. " Ana snickered as she continued browsing through her cellphone.

"You're just jealous aren't you?" Sebastian sneered.

"You know what?! Yes, I am! I loved you, Seb. And since I can't be with you, I figured no one else can! That's why I needed to get rid of her!" Ana said, pointing toward Y/n.

"What?! That's not love Ana what you feel toward me. You're just not used to rejection. Are you? You need help, Ana." Sebastian said, his eyes widened as he realized how psychotic Ana was. But he couldn't help feeling a little sorry for her.

"No, I don't need help. I'm fine! Aha!" She shouted gleefully as she found the footage she was looking for.

After several moments she showed her cellphone screen to Sebastian. She had just posted on her Instagram story the video of him and Lily in that trailer back during the shooting of Pam and Tommy. He watched it in apprehension as the footage showed him and Lily sitting down on the chairs and rehearsing the lines from Pam and Tommy. He waited and waited, but the video ended when Lily had finished delivering her line. Ana heard that the video had ended and took back her cellphone from the front of Sebastian's face.

"Oh no no.. where is it?! Ugh! I can't believe it's gone!" Ana yelled in frustration.

"You don't have it anymore?" Sebastian asked, lowering his guard a little.

"It's f*****g gone! Ugh! Merida.. she must have changed the video." Ana huffed in frustation.

"Well.. well.. Merida really is nice after all." Sebastian said, shaking his head in disbelief.

He moved forward toward Ana, intending to take her hand and really bring her to the police, but Ana kicked him in the shin making him doubled over in pain. She slipped past him and ran out the door.

"Seb! Are you okay?" Y/n asked in concern while trying to get off the bed to help him.

"I'm fine, honey. Just stay there okay. I have to catch her!" Sebastian said as he walked limping toward the door.

"Okay, be careful Iubirea mea." Y/n said.

Sebastian nodded. As soon as the pain on his shin receded he started running out of the isolation room and out toward the hall. He looked around and saw a glimpse of Ana running toward the emergency stairs. He quickly took off in pursuit of her.

"Excuse me! Coming through!" He ran weaving through people trying to catch up to Ana, turning people's eyes toward him as he passed.

He opened the emergency stairs and looked down. He could hear footsteps down below. He ran down as quickly as he could, almost tripping on the stairs. He heard the door on the ground floor opened so he got out on the ground floor. As soon as he was out from the emergency stairs, he looked around but couldn't find her. There were so many people and they made it hard to find her. He decided to go outside to the parking lot. But no matter how hard he looked he still couldn't find her.

He put both hands on his head in frustration. He could not believe he lost her! He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. After a while and he felt calmer, he finally turned around and went back toward the isolation room, still reeling from what just happened.

About half an hour after he lost Ana, Shannon and Merida came. They were glad Y/n was okay and no one was hurt except Sebastian. But they also regretted not coming sooner. They probably could have helped in catching Ana.

"So, Merida.. did you change the video?" Sebastian asked curiously as they all sat down on the waiting room right outside the ward Y/n was in. Sebastian's visiting hours was over and Shannon and Merida weren't allowed in.

"I did, yeah. Back in LA. I've thought about it for a while. She needs to learn her lesson. She's had things handed to her on a silver platter and she couldn't accept that you are not falling for her. She had ideas about you and her. How she wanted your relationship to be like. But since you weren't cooperating, she felt she needed to do something so that you would. I told her all about karma and how what she has done will come back and bite her in the ass. But she wouldn't listen. So I thought I'd change that video to give her some lesson." Merida explained.

"Wow. Do you still have the original footage?" Sebastian asked.

"No, I deleted them all. She sent it to my phone and transferred it to her laptop. I've deleted them all back in LA." Merida responded.

"Oh good. So she has nothing against you now, Seb." Shannon said.

"Yeah. That's great! But the fact that she is still out there worries me. What if she came back and tried to hurt Y/n when I'm not around. She could clearly disguise herself and got into the isolation room in no problem. Even bringing Y/n's medicine with her." Sebastian said.

"I'm going to make sure she doesn't do that. I'm going to persuade her to come back to Spain and leave you and Y/n in peace. There is nothing else that she can do anyway. And I doubt she would want to risk getting into jail if she tried hurting Y/n again." Merida said.

"Thank you, Merida. I really appreciate it." Sebastian said.

"You're welcome, Seb. Just please don't report her to the police." Merida said.

"Okay, I won't. Just make sure she leaves New York as soon as possible." Sebastian said.

"I will. Don't worry about it. Well, I better get going. I'll see guys around..someday." Merida said.

"Yeah, see you around Merida, take care." Shannon said as she gave her a hug.

"Thanks Shannon. Thank you for trusting me." Merida said, hugging Shannon back.

"Of course." Shannon smiled.

"Thank you so much Merida, for all that you've done for me." Sebastian said as he shook her hand.

"You're welcome, Seb. I'm sorry for everything that you had to go through." Merida said.

"Thank you, Merida. Appreciate it." Sebastian nodded and let go of her hand.

After Merida left, Shannon left as well and Sebastian was left alone again at the hospital. He stayed in the waiting room, waiting for his next scheduled visit to see Y/n. His mind tried to process everything that had happened. He couldn't believe Ana had the guts to try and kill Y/n. He was still worried that Ana would try again. But Merida was right, Ana didn't have anything else against him. And if she tried hurting Y/n again, she risked getting caught and getting arrested. Surely she wasn't that reckless. After a while, he finally breathed a sigh of relief as it dawned on him that the nightmare he was in seemed to be finally over.

-----

The video that Ana posted on her Instagram story had become viral. She deleted it eventually but people reposted it so many times that it became viral. The fact it was showing Sebastian and Lily just rehearsing their lines turned it to be a good promotion for the show Pam and Tommy. It also became somewhat of a good thing for Ana. It showed her as a supportive girlfriend taking a recording of her boyfriend's work. Unfortunately it was not something Sebastian wanted. In the public eye they had not been seen together for months. Naturally some people thought they were over or at least were having some problems. The video Ana posted made people think they were getting back together. That was definitely not what Sebastian intended. He had wanted their relationship to just be forgotten by people. He had hoped people would forget about it and he could come out with his relationship with Y/n slowly. He and his team had to figure out a way to show that he was over with Ana, and simultaneously show that he was now seeing Y/n. But considering Y/n was pregnant and at the hospital, it was of course tricky.

"This whole public relations thing is a headache. I'm so tired of it Emma. Can't I just simply make a statement and be done with it? I don't think people would care much anyway." Sebastian sighed as he, Emma and Mick were having a meeting in his room at the hospital.

"That's where you're wrong, Seb. People..especially your fans, care about it. And we really have to be careful about our next steps. One wrong move and you could lose many fans." Emma said.

"Yeah.. tell me about it." Sebastian sneered, remembering the exact reason why he was stuck in this predicament in the first place was because he made one wrong move of signing up to do PR relationship with Ana.

"I'm just tired of all the lies Emma. I wish I could just tell people what I had with Ana was a lie. People would then get it why things had been weird with me and they would accept me seeing Y/n." Sebastian said.

"Seb, remember you're still tied with the contract until the end of March. You don't want to do anything to upset those at the top." Emma reminded him.

After Sebastian lashed out at his team and fired Josh, he had another meeting with Emma and Mick. Both had persuaded him to stay in the agency until after the contract with Ana was over while they looked at other agencies for him. The work that had been done for him in the agency were too extensive and would cause more problems if he changed his agency before the contract was over. After thinking everything over, he eventually agreed. The end of March was fast approaching anyway. He thought he could get by staying at the agency for a couple more weeks.

"Can't I just make a simple statement that Ana and I are over? That's it. Simple. I will not mention anything about us being PR. Won't mention anything about Y/n. Just a simple clarification so that people would stop speculating." Sebastian said.

"Okay, let's make that as our very last resort. But I think we still need to do other things first." Emma said.

"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you do a pap walk showing you're alone. No, better yet, showing you're here in NYC but with a female friend. That would make people think you and Ana are over and she was just posting that old video to get your attention. Hoping you would come back to her so to speak. But by showing you're with another girl, it would inform people that you're not interested with her anymore." Mick suggested.

"Hmm.. good idea Mick. Who should I do it with though?" Sebastian asked.

"I want to do with Y/n but I obviously can't." Sebastian sighed.

"No, you can't and it's a bad idea too. People would see she's pregnant and they would see you as a cheater. Better go with someone else that people know is a good friend of yours." Emma said.

"Okay, I know. I can ask Adelina." Sebastian said, referring to his good friend Adelina, a fellow Romanian who he had been friends with for years. Most of his fans knew who she was and that he and Adelina were just friends.

"Oh right, that's a good idea. Is she in New York?" Mick asked.

-----

"I don't know, hopefully she is. I'll give her a call." Sebastian said.

Adelina was in fact in New York, so they asked her to help out. Thankfully she agreed. The next day they did the paparazzi shoot with her, showing him talking with her in front of a hotel with her. The next day the pictures were released along with an article in the Daily Mail. After the article and pictures came out, some of Sebastian's fans thought he and Ana was over, but some was still not convinced. Sebastian and his team decided to just leave it at that and wait until the contract was over before making a statement.

Several days after the paparazzi shoot with Adelina, Y/n was discharged from the hospital. Her PCR test had miraculously turned out negative for Covid. She also didn't have any more symptoms. And she didn't need supplemental oxygen anymore.

It was her last day at the hospital and before they went home, they had an appointment to meet dr.Selena. Dr.Selena had advised them to do a 4D ultrasound scan to see the well-being of their baby. It was standard procedure to check whether there were any abnormalities in the growth of their baby considering how Y/n had been sick and exposed to a lot of drugs and procedures during her stay at the hospital. Sebastian was so excited to do the scan. A 4D ultrasound scan allowed them to see more clearly the shape of their baby, including the shape of her face. It even allowed them to see their baby moving in the womb, much like watching a video. He was really looking forward to see his baby. He hoped he could see her maybe smiling or sucking her thumb. It would be the cutest thing he had ever seen.

"Okay, let's see what your baby looks like." dr.Selena said as she moved the ultrasound transducer around Y/n's stomach.

Moments later Sebastian and Y/n could see what looked like a video of their baby on the screen. Her eyes were closed, she was curling in on herself and she seemed to be sucking her thumb.

"Oh my God. That's her.. " Y/n said, her voice shook as she looked at the face of their baby for the first time.

"Hey little bean, we're soo happy to finally see your face." Sebastian said as he leaned closer to Y/n's stomach, hoping their baby would hear him.

Just then their baby moved her leg and let go of her thumb. She then smiled.

"Iubirea mea.. did you see that?" Y/n squealed.

"I saw it.. yeah.. she's really beautiful." Sebastian said, feeling tears started to pool in his eyes.

"I think she has your nose, and your cleft chin." Y/n giggled.

"Oh my, I think she does." Sebastian said in awe as he looked closer at the monitor.

"She's gonna be the female version of you." Y/n commented.

"Oh no, I was hoping she would look more like you." Sebastian said.

"What are you talking about, Iubirea mea. It's better if she looks like you. She's going to grow up to look like your mom. She's going to be beautiful." Y/n said, squeezing Sebastian's hand.

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I'm okay that she looks like me." Sebastian nodded.

"She's going to be a heart-breaker for sure." dr.Selena chimed in making Sebastian and Y/n laugh.

"Anyway, I need to see further into her, to see whether her central nervous system are developing normally and that there are no potential neurological problems considering what she had been through the past couple of weeks." dr.Selena said.

"Of course doctor." Sebastian nodded.

The ultrasound screen changed to show their baby's neurons and nervous system, looking like spider webs all over her body and head. It was mind blowing. Sebastian and Y/n's jaws dropped as they saw it. Dr. Selena studied them and made notes and after a while she concluded that their baby's nervous system was developing normally and there didn't seem to be any abnormalities with her. She rechecked their baby's movements and behavior and also concluded that she was developing normally. Sebastian and Y/n couldn't be more grateful upon knowing that fact.

"Thank you so much doctor for everything." Sebastian said as he shook dr.Selena's hand once the scan was over and they were leaving.

"You're very welcome Mr.Stan. I'm so happy to see that Y/n and your baby are healthy again." dr.Selena said.

"Thank you doctor. I really appreciate everything you have done for me since the very beginning." Y/n said, shaking dr.Selena's hand.

"You're very welcome Y/n. Don't forget to come for your monthly check-up. And don't forget to note the movements of your baby. Any time you feel she is less active or not active at all, contact us immediately." dr.Selena reminded Y/n.

"Of course, doctor. Thank you so much for reminding me." Y/n said.

After they got out of dr.Selena's examination room, they went to the cashier to pay. Most of the expenses were thankfully covered by Y/n's insurance. Sebastian only had to pay for his room and some items for Y/n that were not covered by her insurance. Having finished all their payment at the cashier, they went out of the hospital toward Sebastian's car. They had decided to stay at Y/n's apartment for the time being, until it was time for Sebastian to leave for LA.

Y/n was still feeling somewhat weak so she used a wheelchair. Sebastian was pushing her wheelchair on the deserted parking lot when he felt something hit him on the back of his head. His eyes saw stars and he felt a painful throbbing on the back of his head. It was so painful that he fell to the ground. He blacked out just as someone walked past him and grabbed Y/n's throat.

Chapter 24>

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