I Lost a Friend

“Something’s bothering you, Venti.”

His eyes dart to your reflection in the left corner of the mirror and they stay on you for a long moment. He still doesn’t blink. His lips are pressed together in a stoic, straight line. He parts them, and speaks.

“Barbatos.”

His eyes flick back to their prior position, glaring back into his reflection.

“It’s Barbatos. No one-" he pauses for a moment, seemingly searching his face for something recognizable and failing to find it, “-no one else.”

Pairing: Venti x Reader - Established Relationship

Word Count: 2,120

Synopsis: You come home to a mess and a very upset God crying in your bathroom.

Contains: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Reverse Comfort, Drinking, Identity Issues, Crying, somebody pls give this sad bard a hug

A/N: ehehe here’s a little #ventober drabble that I got slightly (very) carried away with

prompts from @ LunASMR_Voice on Twitter

Days 1 (Wine) & 16 (Friend)

When you first materialized in your serenitea pot, you noticed it immediately. All of the trees were completely bare. Like a tornado had ripped right through and took every single leaf and twig along with it. You knew it couldn’t have been from the natural falling of leaves that happens this time of year, it’s not like trees drop all of their leaves at once, and even so- the leaves aren’t on the ground either. They’re just gone. Not to mention, so is half of the outdoor furniture. Either tipped over, blown across the yard or just plain missing, it really looked like the aftermath of a storm out here.

Now, the only person allowed inside your teapot that would be capable of making a mess such as this would be Venti, however, knowing that still doesn’t settle your nerves all that much. This isn't normal. It’s quite unlike him to behave like this… unless something has really upset him. Regardless, you take a deep breath and make your way in through the doors of your shared home intent on asking him why it looked like a storm rolled through the teapot.

You call out to Venti as you step inside, but instead of a response you’re greeted with dead silence. No music playing, no singing, nothing at all. Save for the panting of one of your several dogs that followed you in through the front door.

Odd. Venti isn’t the type to just sit in complete silence very often. Even when he’s sleeping, he always leaves soft music playing in the background, almost as if he’s trying to avoid the silence.

You make your way into the kitchen, and begin to catch on to what must have happened here while you were out. Six empty bottles of various wines sit scattered around on the counter, and a seventh bottle has obviously been smashed to pieces on the floor. Venti doesn’t really drop things on accident. He’s got reflexes like a cat. Besides, there’s no wine on the floor, just glass.

It doesn’t take long for you to put two and two together and realize that a particular type of storm really must have rolled through.

You find him in the bathroom. There’s no way he didn’t notice you opening the door, but he makes no move to acknowledge your presence either. You take in his appearance. Hair hanging loose and messy where his braids have fallen out. The tips are glowing, just like his eyes and his archon marks are. Well, what you can see of them from between the parted fabric of his unbuttoned shirt, at least. They fade from a bright blue to a soft teal, in and out along with his breathing.

He seems half dressed, his vision, cape, corset, hat and accessories all gone. Standing with his back to you in just his shorts and shirt, you can see his tense expression in the mirror. He’s obviously had a bad day. His thin fingers are gripping the edge of the counter so hard you were surprised that it wasn’t crumbling underneath the force. Though, as usual, even when pushed to his breaking point, he was never one to forget his own strength. Not nowadays, at least.

He didn’t like having to use it, didn’t like it when others would look at him in fear after seeing even a fraction of what he’s truly capable of, so he keeps it reigned in. Tries to make himself look the least imposing he can. He wants to appear approachable. Friendly, warm, and safe. He usually does his best to mirror the way his friend had always carried himself, and tonight he seems to be having trouble doing that. He’s upset about something, that much is obvious… and you know him well enough to know that he’s not letting himself feel it. Not fully.

You attempt to break the staring contest he’s having with himself in the mirror. It’s a little off-putting, honestly, given the fact that he can go a concerning amount of time without blinking. Or moving.. at all. Standing here in the bathroom, as still as any one of the statues carved in his image that decorate the peaks and valleys of the City of Freedom. He’s actually kind of unsettling when he’s angry, and you’re willing to bet that’s exactly what he’s mad about in the first place. He doesn’t like himself like this.

You’re not truly afraid of him, though. Never have been. Venti has never once raised so much as a single hand against you in anger. You can’t even recall the last time he raised his voice around you. He doesn’t want anyone to see him when he’s upset… when he’s angry. Least of all, you. But you’ll be damned if you’re going to just walk away and let him try and deal with these emotions on his own. He’s had to do that for long enough. You’re here now and you’re going to do what you can to help him work through this.

You try to keep your voice as soft and gentle as you can when you break the silence.

“Something’s bothering you, Venti.”

His eyes dart to your reflection in the left corner of the mirror and they stay on you for a long moment. He still doesn’t blink. His lips are pressed together in a stoic, straight line. He parts them, and speaks.

“Barbatos.”

His eyes flick back to their prior position, glaring back into his reflection.

“It’s Barbatos. No one-" he pauses for a moment, seemingly searching his face for something recognizable and failing to find it, “-no one else.”

Just like you suspected, he’s struggling with his identity again tonight. It doesn’t happen often these days but it certainly does still happen. Your heart aches for him every time, watching him look upon his own form with such disdain. You attempt to talk him down.

“Okay… that’s okay.”

You make your way further into the bathroom and lean back against the door frame.

“Then, Barbatos, is there any particular reason you’re not Venti tonight, love?”

He closes his eyes and lets his head quickly drop forward to press his forehead against the mirror. The impact sounds like it hurt but if it does he doesn’t show it.

“I can’t be Venti. Not tonight. Not when I’m like… this.”

He takes a deep breath, and it comes out shaky like he’s trying to steady himself. When he turns around and looks up at you, you notice the pale blue tear tracks running down over the apples of his cheeks, and you feel a pain in your chest. There are few sights more upsetting than looking your very own God dead in the eyes and watching them cry. It’s.. it’s painful. Seeing how much he’s struggling to keep himself together. You want to rush towards him, wrap him up in your embrace and put the pieces of him back together. You also want to give him space if that’s what he needs right now. So you settle for something in between. You cross the floor and hold out a hand, giving him an invitation, a choice- and watch as he takes yours in his and starts tracing the lines across your palm, trying to calm himself enough to speak. His breathing is so unsteady, like he’s holding back tears.

“I can’t disrespect his memory by behaving so recklessly. It’s not becoming of anything that he stood for. He wanted freedom, and I loved him so much that his dreams became my own. He died fighting for it, for this future of free will and peace, and what did I do? I created myself in his very image and kept fighting. I rearranged the very earth with the power that came from my grief. I took life. I… I took many lives. Everything I’ve done since… I did it all in his image.”

Guilt is a hell of an emotion, with its way of eating away at you from the inside.

He’s still tracing the lines across your palm, over and over like he’s trying to memorize them. It’s easier for him to speak this honestly when he has something else to focus on. You slowly bring your other hand up and begin to ghost it along his arm, from shoulder down to wrist and then back up again. His thoughts continue to spill out.

“I have a very bad feeling that he wouldn’t be very proud of the things I’ve done. I mean- it’s been so long, how can I even be sure that he wouldn’t hate the person I’ve become? I was a wisp when he knew me, and now I’m this God that’s done so many things in the name of freedom that I just… I-I don’t know if the ends justified the means.”

He looks up and to the side, still unable to meet your gaze, and you watch fresh turquoise tears pool in his eyes.

“What if I could have done things differently? What if I had thought clearer… and taken more careful, controlled steps on the journey to freedom? How many lives could I have saved from becoming casualties of the storms I created? What if…”

His voice cracks on the last word and you pray that he doesn’t notice the tears threatening to fall from your own eyes. He takes one more shaky breath and looks directly up, speaking his final question to the heavens as much as to you.

“What if all that I am is a storm?”

Feeling something akin to relief from the weight of his long-unspoken worries being lifted now that he’s voiced them, he lets himself fall forward into you and you immediately reach out to catch him. He cries into your shoulder, and you bring one arm down to circle around his waist. Your other hand reaching up to run your fingers through his hair, keeping him as close to you as possible. You don’t even need to think to find your response, the words sitting ready on your tongue, waiting to spill out the moment you part your lips.

“Barbatos, you are the breeze that carries dandelion seeds across Mondstadt, imbued with the hopes and prayers of your children. You were the constant updraft that kept me from falling when we fought Stormterror. You dry the clothes hanging out on the lines. You keep the windmills turning in their perpetual motion. Cecilias can only grow on the cliffs where your energy blows freely, without restraint. You are the oxygen that fuels the life-saving campfires that burn on Dragonspine. You bring love, and the scent of apple blossoms towards the city in the spring. You are the warm gusts of summer air that wrap around every single traveler that steps foot into this land, letting them know that they are welcome here. You are the soft whisper in the fall breeze that tells every single child of yours upon returning to Mondstadt that they are safe, and that they are home now. You carry the passionate voices of the bards performing in the street. You have carried the voices of every single citizen of this nation when they cried out for freedom.”

You have to pause and take a deep breath of your own, running your hand up and down his back, slowly, gently trying to calm both of yourselves down. He holds you tighter. His crying has slowed to a halt, nothing more than a soft and quiet whine of protest emitting from him in response to your honest words.

You aren’t so presumptuous as to think that your words can completely lift the centuries of guilt that he carries, but you’re sure as hell going to try. Over and over, no matter how many times he needs to hear it, you will be there to remind him of all of the good that continues to exist in this world because of him. To remind him that he is so, so much more than the storms he has created.

You break the silence that has fallen over the two of you once again.

“Can you look at me for a moment, love?”

Pulling back just enough to slip your hand under his chin, he doesn't resist when you gently guide him to look at you. You wipe a stray tear from his cheek.

Catching his gaze, you hold it. Neither of you blink as his watery, blue eyes look up and meet yours.

God, you wish he could see himself the way you see him. He's something far beyond holy to you.

“Barbatos, you are not just a storm. My love… you are the wind.”

What They Will Say About Us - Wanda Maximoff Oneshots

Summary: A love from the past returns, and Wanda gets a second chance to make it right. But some decisions are easier in their concepts than in reality.

Warnings: milf!Wanda angst hours, implied internalized homophobia, hidden making out, attempts to Judaism references, and mentions of past relationships. | Words: 1.727k

A/N-> I blame the movie Disobedience and the song of the title name (by FINNEAS) for this one.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

--//--

It was such a risky idea, honestly.

Wanda had no reason to be in the Synagogue this afternoon, other than her personal motivations of course, which came down to an old friend in town. 

The black sheep returns, she heard, from a good dozen people. It made her stomach turn. Wanda wishes she could have summoned the same courage as you, years before, and left everything behind. Fought her own father like you did and had the minimum of happiness like she imagines you found in New York.

Or at least, Wanda likes to believe so. When she thinks of your adolescents, stolen moments here and there, and how you left without hesitation, she must believe that what was out there was better. It made you happier, at least.

The Synagogue was crowded and it was too risky to look around that much. Wanda felt watched from all sides - whether it was Pietro and Crystal, or Erik and Natalya, she had the impression that all eyes were on her. As if everyone knew how much she wanted to stare at you.

Your presence there was noticed very easily and commented on by everyone. The choice of black clothes, the outrageous jeans for the traditional community, every strand of rebelliously messy hair. 

Everyone looked at you as if you were a crime against everything the faith stood for, but Wanda looked at you as if you were a masterpiece.

The small sarcastic smile as you mumbled Hebrew as you entered, the almost non-existent nod before ignoring your sister's simple request to take the seat next to her and avoid any commotion, your determined steps to the small group standing around having a conversation.

Every inch diminished between you two made Wanda's heart skip a beat.

"Shalom Adonai." You greeted, interrupting whatever conversation was going on between Wanda's family. She tried to disguise how much she was begging for your attention, but you caught every stolen glance, the smile at the corner of her lips getting harder to hide and bringing a warmth underneath her own dress. 

You were embraced by Natalya, tenderly, around the neck. She had always liked you, Wanda remembered. 

"Shalom Adonai, Y/N. It's so good to see you home, child." Said the woman so warmly that you almost felt bad for the lack of manners you were about to present.

"Yes, yes, it is good to be back. Would you guys mind if I talked to Wanda for a second?"

She knew she was blushing, and that it only made her father's disgusted expression worse. But something about the punk-rock attitude made them assume that you might cause a scene if you were denied, and Erik just nodded in agreement. 

You offered Wanda a smile, invading her personal space only to go around her, grabbing her hand in the process. 

She followed you through the halls to an empty room, as she would have followed you to New York if you repeated the invitation.

"Why are you being so shy and quiet?” Your question came on the way, hand in hand with her, when you turned your head for a moment. A tease followed before Wanda could answer. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

She chuckled through her nose, indignant at something so absurd. She had been happy to the point of barely sleeping properly for the past few days since the news that you were in town reached her house, and she longed for a visit that never happened. It was foolish to think that you would come to their parent's home, not when you were revisiting family after so long. But at least in the Synagogue, Wanda found you. Or the other way around.

You stopped walking in a dimly lit room, at the exit of a staircase that no one would pass after the meeting had begun. It was a cramped space that the younger ones used to hide from chores, that you, Wanda, and Pietro had used many times as teenagers.

You challenged her then. You loosened her hand to rummage in your pockets and took out a lighter and a different cigarette, wrapped in silk. It was only to elicit a reaction from the woman in front of you, who widened her eyes as if you were the devil itself and grabbed your hands.

"You can't-"

"I'm just messing with you, Princess." You retorted with an easy smile, shoving the items back into your pocket, and to the end of the other's sanity, your hands moved to hers again before Wanda could pull away completely. "You haven't changed a bit."

Her shaky breath tickled your cheek. 

"You did." She murmurs affectedly, looking at everything but your face, and mostly at your hands together. Your fingers playing with hers. "You cut your hair, and your clothes...it suits you."

You hum distractedly, Wanda has no idea it's because of her perfume. So many years, and she messes with you the same way. Licking your lips, you try to bring clarity to your own thoughts.

"I heard you were getting married." You state then, and Wanda has to look at you, frowning.

"What? How-? I-I-"

You chuckle, taking in every trace of the face you missed so much. "Your mother invited me to the engagement feast." You explain casually. "I dismissed an event, so imagine my surprise when I heard you dumped the guy's ass..."

Wanda bit back a smile, she shouldn't laugh at this. At the shame she had put her family through; the most rebellious act of her entire life, dismissing a rich, Jewish, and proper fiancé. Chosen by god and her parents.

"Sorry for the inconvenience in your schedule." She returns, teasing, her eyes sparkling the way they only get around you.

You smile, interlacing your fingers together and bringing an immediate wave of nervousness to the woman in front of you. The gentle tug lessened the distance.

"I just got through packing up and ran over here." You murmur then, a very sincere and vulnerable look in your eyes suddenly.

Wanda swallows dryly, her heart hammering. "Oh, really?"

Your smile didn't falter, but your eyes did. "Do you remember... what I told you when I left?"

Wanda could hear her heart in her ears. She nodded, and you moved her hands to your waist. She gasped, overwhelmed with the longing for you, with the love she had kept for so many years. Her burning face was hidden in your collarbone, and you chuckled, equally affected, you slipped your arms around her to reassure her.

"I said I'd come back at any second if there was a risk of losing you to anyone, Wands." You whispered against her, even as she confirmed that she remembered. "And here I am. I hope not too late."

She shook her head frantically, drawing another laugh. You were tormenting her after all, how audacious. Wanda grimaced, and brushed her lips against your neck first, enjoying the flinch, before sinking her teeth in your skin.

You whimpered, low against her ear. Wanda licked the bite and sucked until she had a mark and you were soft against her, melting.

"Wanda." You called out, and she pulled away in the same second, only to firm her mouth on yours. 

It was exactly as she remembered it, but even better. You tasted like peppermint candy and coffee, and it was too delicious for Wanda not to squeeze your sides and push you against the wall. 

Your tongue slid into hers until her head spun and her knees buckled. The sermon began downstairs, and the music drowned out any gasping sounds that escaped her lips.

Wanda took advantage of it.

You were out of breath when you let go, and your hair seemed wilder than before. Your hands were dangerously beneath her blouse, gripping her waist directly by the skin. The strong squeeze would be enough to mark, and Wanda would have to be careful about changing clothes at home.

"Run away with me." You gasped suddenly, and Wanda stopped breathing. 

She had a flashback, so many years before, where you were much younger and much more insecure, and she was terrified. And you asked the same question and began to cry as Wanda shook her head in the negative. 

"Detka..." She started uncertainly, not with the same fears as years ago, but with the same cowardice. 

You had changed more than she had, and your eyes were as firm as your tone.

"I have an apartment and a job." You reasoned, your hands releasing her waist to hold her face. "All the stability and security I couldn't give you at 17, I have it now. I got it all so I could be with you, princess. Run away with me, Wanda. Please."

Her eyes burned. "My family would hate me." And you knew it was true, yet you still loved Wanda the same way you did when you were seventeen.

"I would be your family." You assure her, caressing her cheeks tenderly. "And we...we could make a family of our own, too."

Wanda sobbed softly, returning to her original position, her face hidden in your collarbone. You almost began to cry too, but you busied yourself with holding her, smoothing her hair until you had her definitive answer.

"It's a beautiful dream, detka." She whispers against your skin, her arms tightening around you. "The best one there is."

You kissed the top of her head. "Let me make it come true, Wands."

She sobs, and the music there and low ends. Wanda needs to stop crying before someone comes to check, so she does so quickly, wiping away the tears and almost hiding them from you. 

"Reality would tear us apart." She declares, but you deny it with a nod, offering her a sad smile before moving closer to kiss her forehead. Wanda almost tugs you away, but like years ago, she flinches.

You sigh and face her in the eyes. "I wish you would dare to love me as I love you, Wanda."

Her gaze begs for sympathy, but you can't give it to her now. You turn your back on her and leave her alone on the staircase, and it's as if Wanda can hear the memories echoing in that space.

Maybe one day, she will find the courage to follow you.

I Don’t Miss You At All

Inspired by: the song by Finneas of the same title, linked at the bottom of the fic

Requested: no

a/n - hey guys! i know i’m so far back on that eddie fic, but i’m hoping to slowly work on getting my writing inspired back. holidays are always hard, and i’m having issues with my job right now, i hope you guys know i appreciate you and hope to get more fics finished within the next couple months

James Potter x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, fluff, misunderstanding

Why is she allowed to look like that? After everything that happened between the two of us she really gets to come to parties looking like that?

These are the types of thoughts that ran through James Potter’s head as he stares at you from across the Gryffindor common room. You had split just about a month ago, and he swears that he’s over it. Over you.

There’s no reason for him to miss you anyway. It’s not like he still kept that one sweatshirt you stole from him all the time. The one that still smells like that perfume that always managed to linger around his entire being after hanging out with you. It’s not like that at all.

Your smile. Your laugh weren’t scarred into his brain, not at all. Your pictures weren’t still tacked to the post of his bed. Your eyes, the most beautiful shade of (y/e/c) that could send the greatest writers into a frenzy trying to capture the beauty of them, were totally forgotten.

There was no way he’d stayed up every night since you had called things off to start letters to you, ones never to be finished. Ones that could be found balled up in the trash can beneath his desk, or even occasionally thrown onto the fireplace in the common room. The possibility that his mind was so wracked with thoughts of you, that when he could get to sleep his brain plagued him with dreams of you was none existent.

Why would he spend so much time thinking about someone who clearly didn’t feel the same. The way you were talking to McLaggen and any other of the many boys surrounding you. A fairly common sight ever since you broke it off with James.

Could he see the way you shrunk away from the attention? No. Could he see the longing looks you sent towards him? Of course not.

James potter was many things but observant was hardly one them. How he could keep track of the golden snitch but couldn’t see the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, how you deflated when he proceeded to ignore you? How anyone managed to be so blind baffled you. You thought you were being so obvious with the way you shyly rejected the boys who insisted on chasing after you after your heartbreak. The way you proceeded to greet and speak with his friends, the way you would go to every Gryffindor quidditch game, and every party that would follow, even when he knew you hated them. Could he really not see that you were doing all of these things to try again?

You saw your relationship going downhill when he was being really secretive with you. Blowing you off to go do whatever with the rest of the marauders. But sometimes you felt like he wasn’t just trying to go spend time with them, it felt like he was trying to escape you. Felt like he was trying slowly to break up with you. Ease you into it all. So you ripped off the bandaid.

You now feel that was the stupidest decision you had ever made. As he sat there on the couch, staring down at the beer bottle in his hand, that he was slowly peeling the label off of. It was always something he’d do when deep in thought. There was also a girl next to him. One you’d seen around but you didn’t know her name. But there she was, hand casually rested on James’ thigh as her head rested on his shoulder. To be honest it didn’t even look like James was totally aware of the girl beside him. But that wouldn’t make sense. She was gorgeous after all. So different from you. It made sense that this is the kind of girl James would want to leave you for.

You refused to let anyone see you upset. No tears were there yet, but the sting in your eye gave you some warning. You need to get out of this stuffy, over crowded common room.

Out the door you went and to the astronomy tower for some fresh air. Fresh air, peace, quiet, and probably a place where you could scream all of your frustrations out.

Though James noticed your moves the second you’d decided to make them. Following every bounce of your hair, every vibration on the floor from your purposeful steps. His mind went wild when he saw your head down as you walked out of the room, alone. He had always known just how you were feeling - when his own feelings weren’t clouding his judgement. He could tell something was wrong.

Not questioning if he had a place to be able to question you, to comfort you, he followed. Brushing off the clingy girl he’d barely noticed and had tried to ignore.

The walk to the tower seemed like second nature, his first being following after you. He knew where you would be, it used to be your spot after all. Ditching class, studying, late night talks when neither of you could sleep.

He hadn’t been up here since you called it quits. Knowing you needed it more. The safe space.

As he walked up the stairs, he could hear sobs. Soul wrenching, heart breaking sobs that could only be yours.

“Y/n,” he asked as he made his way into the tower.

You tried to turn your tears off. Tried to quiet your uneven breathing, stop the wracking sobs that had been spilling out of you. Avoiding his face, staring out at the school grounds, you were able to calm yourself to silent, hot tears falling down your face.

“James.”

His heart broke at the weight of your voice.

“What’s wrong? You ran out of the common room so quickly.”

“Just needed air,” you lied. “Why do you care?”

“You know bloody well that I care about you.”

“I don’t know why. The girl you were with seems like plenty for you to care about.” You wiped your nose, sniffling.

James looked fifty shades of confused at your accusation. That girl? You thought he was with that girl? When he was still so stupidly, irrevocably in love with you?

“Do you know how bloody stupid you sound right now,” James questioned, his voice lower, and much closer.

You finally turned to look at him. “Me? Why am I-“

You were cut off by James. His hands on your waist, pulling you together, and pressing his forehead against yours. “You are stupid to think I could even look at someone other than you.”

You had to stop yourself from melting right into his touch. The one that felt like home. Like you were safe and nothing could hurt you. “Then why were you ignoring me?”

“Ignoring you,” he pulled his head away from yours, giving you a baffled look. “When the hell have I ignored you?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe for the last month of our relationship,” you pulled away from him, letting his hands drop to his sides. “I mean come on James, not talking to me for a month except in notes is rather childish. You should have just ended things.”

James’ face morphed as he thought over your words. He wasn’t looking at you, clearly thinking about what happened the last month of your relationship.

When his face lit up in a smile it was your turn to furrow your brow. “Wait! I know exactly what happened?”

“You ignored me,” you state, plainly.

“No,” he moved to grab your hands, holding them in his. “Okay, I knew you were going to think this was a really stupid and irresponsible decision, so I kind of tried to hide that the guys and I decidedtobecomeanimagusesandthatswhyicouldnttalktoyouforamonth.”

You must have heard him wrong. “What did you just say?”

He took a deep breath, looking at your joined hands. “I said, that the guys and I had decided to become animagus’ and that’s the reason why I couldn’t speak to you for a month. I couldn’t speak to anyone for a month for that matter.”

Your jaw dropped. Was he fucking serious? This is the reason your boyfriend didn’t speak to you for a. fucking. month? Pulling your hands from his, you stepped forward to smack his chest, “What the bloody hell is wrong with you? Are you a fucking idiot?”

He started laughing, gathering you into his arms. “Yes, I am the biggest idiot in the world. How did I not put the pieces together?”

“That’s not all I meant,” you muttered as you gave into the embrace. You felt the rumble of his chest under your cheek.

“Does this mean we can be together again? Because I really hope it does.”

You lean away to look into his eyes, your body still in his arms. “If you promise to tell me about any of your other stupid ideas that would require you to stop talking to me for a bloody month.”

“Deal.”

He smiled. Truly and genuinely for the first time in the month you’d been apart. He finally had you back, and now he didn’t need to miss you.

*excerpts below — but I highly recommend reading the full article in link above*

Hit Me Hard and Soft dunks us headfirst back into that universe, from the deepest wallows of depression to the exhaustion that comes with the world speculating about her every move. There are no arachnids where they shouldn’t be, but getting in touch with her darker side has Eilish finally feeling like herself again. “I feel like this album is me,” she says. “It’s not a character. It feels like the When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? version of me. It feels like my youth and who I was as a kid.”

Although 2019 felt like a whirlwind of madness at the time, she has found herself missing it. “It was the best time of my life,” she says. “This whole process has felt like I’m coming back to the girl that I was. I’ve been grieving her. I’ve been looking for her in everything, and it’s almost like she got drowned by the world and the media. I don’t remember when she went away.”

The title Hit Me Hard and Soft derives from a conversation she had with Finneas, when she mistakenly thought the name of a synth in Logic Pro was called Hit Me Hard and Soft. “I thought it was such a perfect encapsulation of what this album does,” she explains. “It’s an impossible request: You can’t be hit hard and soft. You can’t do anything hard and soft at the same time. I’m a pretty extremist person, and I really like when things are really intense physically, but I also love when things are very tender and sweet. I want two things at once. So I thought that was a really good way to describe me, and I love that it’s not possible.”

Eilish and Finneas call Hit Me Hard and Soft “an album-ass album.” It’s not a concept record, but it is a self-consciously cohesive set of songs, inspired by auteurist works from the past 15 years or so, like Coldplay’s Viva La Vida, Lana Del Rey’s Born to Die, Tyler, the Creator’s Goblin, Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart, and Vince Staples’ Big Fish Theory.

“Lunch,” a complete 180 in both sound and subject content. It’s a sexy, bass-heavy banger where Eilish is crushing on a girl so hard she likens sex with her to devouring a meal. Finneas remembers playing this moment for Interscope and witnessing the team shift in their seats. “What’s funny about starting the album with [the opener] is that it is a total false promise,” he says. “If you’re remembering ‘What Was I Made For?’ and then you hear [it], you go, ‘Oh, OK. I understand this world.’ Then the drums come in [on “Lunch”], and it really is the kill-the-main-character-type beat. It’s like Drew Barrymore being in the first five minutes of Scream and then they kill her. You’re like, ‘They can’t kill Drew. Oh, my God, they killed Drew!’”

Eilish and I spend a lot of time talking about the new era she is about to kick off, and how she’ll promote Hit Me Hard and Soft while prioritizing her mental health, privacy, and well-being. With all of that in mind, I wonder if she’s ready for journalists to pepper her with questions about the album’s subject matter, particularly the sexual nature of “Lunch.” “That song was actually part of what helped me become who I am, to be real,” Eilish says. “I wrote some of it before even doing anything with a girl, and then wrote the rest after. I’ve been in love with girls for my whole life, but I just didn’t understand — until, last year, I realized I wanted my face in a vagina. I was never planning on talking about my sexuality ever, in a million years. It’s really frustrating to me that it came up.”

Eilish is referring to her interview with Variety last fall, in which she mentioned she was attracted to women. The quote — “I’m attracted to them for real” — became a national headline. The following month, Eilish attended Variety’s Hitmakers event in L.A. While on the red carpet, she was asked if she intentionally came out in the story. “No, I didn’t,” she told them. “But I kind of thought, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?’” Eilish then posted about it on Instagram, with a caption that read, “Thanks Variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 a.m. instead of talking about anything else that matters. I like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares.”

Looking back, Eilish admits she overreacted with the Instagram post. “Who fucking cares?” she says. “The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn’t get to say anything or control any of it. Nobody should be pressured into being one thing or the other, and I think that there’s a lot of wanting labels all over the place. Dude, I’ve known people that don’t know their sexuality, or feel comfortable with it, until they’re in their forties, fifties, sixties. It takes a while to find yourself, and I think it’s really unfair, the way that the internet bullies you into talking about who you are and what you are.”

As for that red-carpet quote that made all the headlines, Eilish says she tried to think of a response that would be entertaining for her fans and the internet. “I went into Billie Eilish interview mode, [like], ‘Oh, I don’t care. Yeah, I’ll say whatever. Wasn’t it obvious?’” she says. “And then afterwards I was like, ‘Wait. It wasn’t obvious to me.’”

Thinking about it now, she draws a bigger lesson from that moment. “I know everybody’s been thinking this about me for years and years, but I’m only figuring out myself now,” she says. “And honestly, what I said was funny, because I really was just saying what they’ve all been saying.” She adds that she liked the journalist she was talking to and didn’t want to be rude. But she still felt exploited. “Bro, I have asthma out here,” she says. “I fucking can’t take a breath.”

If Eilish had the opportunity to do it over again on the red carpet, she says, she wouldn’t have answered the question. But she acknowledges it could have been worse. “I’m lucky enough to be in a time when I’m able to say something like that and things go OK for me,” she says. “And that’s not how a lot of people’s experience is.”

Eilish has officially decided to make some changes to the way she presents herself to the world. “This album, to me, feels like a way to restart, in terms of my sharing,” she says. So let’s take a second to reintroduce Billie Eilish, the home-schooled bohemian who captured our attention as a teenager. She’s 22 now, yet she’s more self-aware than people twice her age. She would like some space to grow, to figure out exactly who she is — no label required. She is not the poster child for anything. And she is not, she’d like to note, a TED Talk speaker. So where does that leave us? Eilish sums things up with four simple words that point to her desire for normalcy and acceptance.

“I’m just a girl.”

hiii kai! for your ask game if you'd like to do (you know the member)

woozi + let's fall in love for the night by finneas

(perfectly okay if you don't write it lol 🤍)

anything for you freya beloved <33

⟣ let's fall in love for the night ⟢ wc: 0.9k words warnings: alcohol, one-sided pining, angst minors do not interact!

from this ask game~

for the sake of propriety, jihoon stands by the fact that he honestly didn't know.

before his best friend's girlfriend, jihoon knew you as a fellow producer he met during a conference he couldn't be bothered to attend if it weren't for the looming penalties. but boring details aside, at least he got to meet you.

jihoon grew up with nothing but praises being sung about his work since he'd picked up producing in his teens. he's used to hearing endless compliments about his music and none else.

so when you waltzed into his studio on a random tuesday just to tell him, "the percussions are off-beat. you could try a 4/4 tempo to match the melody instead," jihoon is rightfully mortified. because not only did you critique his work to his face, but the changes you suggested were the exact same things he's been considering over the course of his producing.

there's nothing else that pisses him off more than being told what to do with his own craft. but for some reason, when you're doing all the dictating, he doesn't really mind.

his tolerance turned into acquaintanceship, which eventually furthered into friendship. jihoon doesn't have a lot of people he can call friends, but if he finds it so easy to agree whenever you invite him out for drinks after a long day, he supposes he could spare you the title.

he doesn't know when the lines started to blur; when his feelings suddenly became indecipherable even to himself. jihoon has penned countless songs where he poured his heart into every word, but he can't even give a name to the warmth that settles in his chest every time you sit a bit too close to him in the studio.

it's a recurring problem he's been forcing down every time it threatened to reveal itself. you're his co-worker, for god's sake.

another reason why he shouldn't even think about vying for your affections comes in the form of kwon soonyoung—one of his closest friends from childhood.

one phone call saying that he's in town and wants to introduce you to his girlfriend is the reality check that jihoon direly needed, it seems. because when he walks into the sports bar that soonyoung set as tonight's rendezvous, he sees you wrapped around his best friend's arm like it's always been home.

you've been seeing each other for about six months now— even longer than jihoon as known you for.

part of him sulks because neither of you bothered to tell him. but then he remembers that soonyoung has been travelling across europe for a better part of the year, and you and jihoon aren't exactly close enough for you to tell him about your superstar boyfriend.

the night ends swiftly with little lapses in conversation. after all, it's soonyoung's god-given talent to ease everyone into having a good time.

the dregs of jealousy flicker like embers in jihoon's heart no matter how many times he attempts to go about the situation logically. so, despite having a few beers too many, he buys two bottles of soju before heading to the company for some late-night producing.

when he's halfway through the second bottle and is just about to call it quits, you descend upon him like an angel of death.

you take your usual seat beside him in front of his desk—on that spare swiveling seat that he definitely didn't buy because of how much you frequent his studio. for someone who was definitely more plastered than he was when you parted ways earlier, you're looking more sober than he is.

hell, you're already making straightforward comments about his newest mix—something that jihoon can't be bothered to take seriously because he's suffering through an oncoming headache and he can't stop staring at your pretty pink lips.

with little regard for the consequences, jihoon finally closes the distance he's been so careful to maintain between the two of you, lips melding together like he's always dreamed. the small sounds that escape you are muffled by his lips as he gives you kisses that only soonyoung has the right to give you.

but when you moan his name into his mouth—sighing so prettily for him, he can't be bothered to give a fuck about the fact that you're his best friend's girl.

he takes you on the same desk he swore to never use for anything else but work; his movements pointed and precise despite his state of inebriation. jihoon growls as your fingernails leave crescent moon indents on his back—panting and crying for him to give you more, more, more.

but no matter how blissed out he is, something's not quite right about how you feel around his throbbing length. he just can't put his finger on it. jihoon, of course, doesn't bother with the details. not when he finally has you wet and wanting for him.

not when you're openly proving that you want him just as badly as he wants you.

however, as he rasps out the words, "you're mine," right after spilling himself deep inside, he finally realizes what was amiss all this time.

when he wrenches his eyes open, he's painfully aware of the sticky and uncomfortable sensation in his sweats. the program on his computer screen stares back at him, as well as the soju bottles he hasn't even finished before dozing off.

there's no sign of you anywhere inside—nor is there any evidence that you were even here to begin with.

all that accompanies him on that lonely night in the studio is the shame that makes a home out of his chest and the fact that he should know better than to call you his.

except he doesn't.

notes: that song was so painful to listen to, but it's so good!! i think i've heard it a few times in passing though i just found out the title when you sent this in 😭 so really, thank you for that, and for giving me a chance to write jihoon for the first time!!! i hope you liked it <3

TOMORROW X TOGETHER: 5 Things To Know About Band Performing At ‘Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve’

Tomorrow X Together will ring in the New Year with Ryan Seacrest. Learn more about the K-Pop sensations here.

K-pop fans rejoice! Tomorrow X Together is set to ring in 2023 with Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest. The news was announced on Tuesday, Dec. 6, 2022 and people couldn’t be more excited.

In a tweet, the Gen-Z band revealed they will be playing their hits “Good Boy Gone Bad” and “0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You)” from Disneyland for the celebration. Other New Year’s Rockin’ Eve performers will include Ciara, Fitz and the Tantrums, Maddie & Tae, Billy Porter, Shaggy, Ben Platt, Aly & AJ, Halle Bailey, Wiz Khalifa, Finneas, and more, according to Billboard.

Fans of the group may be well acquainted with the South Korean crooners, but many others are wondering who exactly they are. The band is made up of Yeonjun, 23, Soobin, 22, Beomgyu, 21, Taehyun, 20, and HueningKai, 20, and they’ve been singing together since 2019. In that time, they’ve become giant stars, with huge crossover vibes.

Ready to learn more about rising stars Tomorrow X Together? Find out everything here.

They debuted in 2019

Plans for TxT were teased in 2017 by their record company, Big Hit Music, but the band didn’t debut their first EP, The Dream Chapter: Star, until Mar. 2019. According to their website, their name refers to five individuals who “come together under one dream in hopes of building a better tomorrow.”

Since their start, they’ve only gotten closer. Talking to NME in 2021, HueningKai said, “Our teamwork is certainly one aspect that continues to further improve with each month and year that we spend together. We can see eye-to-eye and support one another on our journey of growth both as a team and as individuals, and I think it’s really a great thing! We’re brothers.”

TxT made Billboard history

The band’s lead single “Crown” was a big hit and it even made Billboard chart history for a time. The track entered the US Billboard 200 at number 140, making it the highest-charting debut album by a male K-pop group to that date. The song also debuted at number one on the Billboard Emerging Artists chart.

They perform in multiple languages

TxT’s first two studio albums, The Dream Chapter: Magic (2019) and The Chaos Chapter: Freeze (2021), were written and sung in Korean. They expanded their reach with 2021’s Still Dreaming, which is sung in Japanese. It consists of six Japanese versions of previous Korean hits, two new instrumental tracks, an original Japanese titled “Force”, and the band’s previous Japanese release “Everlasting Shine.”

They’re on the same label as BTS

TxT is on Big Hit Music, the same label behind BTS’s success. They were the first boy band that the label debuted since BTS’s blockbuster run began back in 2013. The project was a long time coming. Big Hit founder Bang Si-hyuk hinted at plans for the group all the way back in 2017.

The group made it clear they’re not a “little brother” band to BTS in a 2021 interview with NME. “We’ve always told our own story from our debut till today and it’s a story that many have been able to relate to precisely because it’s a very real story of people living within this generation,” they said. “We’ve worked with many genres to enhance our musical capabilities and hone our sound, and through this sound, we tell stories of our generation, a generation at the crux of growth.”

The band announced plans to release the album The Name Chapter in Nov 2022. It follows their earlier EPs The Dream Chapter and The Chaos Chapter.

They teased the album with a dreamy concept trailer in early Dec. 2022, seen on Billboard. In the teaser, TxT floats around freely before being pulled up by a demon via marionette strings. Left stranded, they’re forced to take a leap of faith.

Interview Music Tag Game

RULES: Put your playlist on shuffle. For each of the 10 interview questions, select a lyric from the random song that comes up (skip if there aren’t any lyrics and make sure to drop the name of the song in your interview answer).

I saw this on dash a few weeks ago and wanted to do it, finally found the time for it. I got like a playlist of songs from ages ago to be shuffled and it turned out surprisingly well, never remembered I heard them but still knew all the lyrics!

1. First off, how would you describe yourself in one sentence?

Always make the same mistakes - Bad At Love by Halsey

2. What kind of [insert zodiac sign] are you? [Libra]

I don't wanna live forever, cause I know I had be living in vain - I don't wanna live forever by ZAYN

3. You’re visiting your favorite spot, what are you thinking about?

I just wanna stay in that Lavender Haze - Lavender Haze by Taylor Swift

4. If your life was a movie, what do you think the first review would say about it?

Forgot how bad I wanted this -A concert six months from now by FINNEAS

5. Say you get a book deal, what are you titling your memoir?

I'm missing half of me - If I could fly by One Direction

6. What would you say about your best friends?

I know better than to call you mine - Let's fall in love for the night by FINNEAS

7. Think back to when you had everything all figured out in high school, what was your life motto as a teenager?

They think you are so easy - Boyfriends by Harry Styles

8. Describe your aesthetic now:

Do you even care at all after all the mess you caused? - drunk text me by Lexi Jayde

9. What’s a lyric that they’ll quote in your eulogy?

Silence breaks the trusth, I know you're tired too. Yet we hold on each other not cause we mean it but cause we need it. - Used To by Sandro Cavazza

10. And for our final question, say we believe in soulmates, what do you think their first impression of meeting you will be?

Why the fuck do everybody act like thet care? I was dying anf nobody was there. -Runaway by Lil Peep

music lover

And this is my favorite singer billie eilish and i like her because she is so beautiful and her voice is so nice and i love her very much and one of the best singer in USA.

In 2015, 13-year-old Eilish began working on songs with her brother Finneas, who had been writing and producing for several years and had his own band. The first songs they recorded together were called "She's Broken" and "Fingers Crossed", the former written by Finneas and the latter by Eilish. "We recorded them and put them out on SoundCloud, just for fun," she recalled.

born December 18, 2001) is an American singer and songwriter. She first gained public attention in 2015 with her debut single "Ocean Eyes", written and produced by her brother Finneas O'Connell, with whom she collaborates on music and live shows. In 2017, she released her debut extended play (EP), titled Don't Smile at Me. Commercially successful, it reached the top 15 of record charts in numerous countries, including the US, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Eilish's first studio album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (2019), debuted atop the US Billboard 200 and UK Albums Chart. It was one of the best-selling albums of the year, buoyed by the success of its fifth single "Bad Guy", Eilish's first number-one on the US Billboard Hot 100. This made her the first artist born in the 21st century to release a chart-topping single. The following year, Eilish performed the theme song "No Time to Die" for the James Bond film of the same name, which topped the UK Singles Chart and won the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 2022. Her subsequent singles "Everything I Wanted", "My Future", "Therefore I Am", and "Your Power" peaked in the top 10 in the US and UK. Her second studio album, Happier Than Ever (2021), topped charts in 25 countries. She wrote and performed "What Was I Made For?" from Barbie (2023), which became her second number one single in the UK.

Bye and thank you for waching my blog!

I dare you to answer all thirty of the music asks

dare accepted

1:A song you like with a color in the title

baby blue - caleb hurst

2:A song you like with a number in the title

eight - sleeping at last

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

marigolds - early eyes

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

red red wine - bob marley

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

thot! - tokyo's revenge

6:A song that makes you want to dance

here for the first time - juniper

7:A song to drive to

camo - ryan beatty

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

same drugs - chance the rapper (this one isnt about drugs really it just mentions it a bit, closest one i could find)

9:A song that makes you happy

penelope - early eyes

10:A song that makes you sad

hand over hand - roland faunte

11:A song that you never get tired of

best tears - the happy fits

12:A song from your preteen years

still in those *finger guns*

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

billie jean - michael jackson

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

acid girl - phoneboy

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

cancer - twenty one pilots (original song by my chemical romance)

16:One of your favorite classical songs

sommernacht op. 58 - othmar schoeck (is this classical??)

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

lifes a dream - the polar boys

18:A song from the year that you were born

run this town - kanye west

19:A song that makes you think about life

small hands - keaton henson

20:A song that has many meanings to you

end on a hai - roland faunte

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

sisyphus - andrew bird

22:A song that moves you forward

break up hair cut - danny and alex

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

pink triangle - weezer

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

hey jude - the beatles 😔

25:A song by an artist no longer living

smooth criminal - michael jackson

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

tù - maye

27:A song that breaks your heart

temporary nothing - mxmtoon

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

angel - finneas

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

chasing pavement - adele

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

goner - twenty one pilots

REI AMI Proves Unpredictable and Unstoppable on ‘FOIL’ [Q&A]

Photo: Lauren Dunn

The first time I became familiar with REI AMI was at the tail end of an interview with FINNEAS, who played her debut single “MAKE IT MINE” in its entirety, noting the production change-ups and thematic juxtaposition with a childlike fascination. Now, some odd two years later, REI AMI is releasing her most ambitious project to date—FOIL, a ten-track mixtape that aims to capture the same distinctive mood shifts that defined her earliest singles while showcasing a marked evolution. 

It is a lofty goal that pays in dividends, as through FOIL’s ever-shifting run, REI AMI plays on the dual nature of her name—REI for the fiery Sailor Mars, AMI for empathic Sailor Mercury—to deliver a project that is rarely predictable and not lacking when it comes to standout moments. From brash, in-your-face hip-hop to quiet moments of introspection, the rapidly rising star gives credence to her self-described title of “hello kitty with a knife.”

I had the chance to chat with REI AMI via e-mail ahead of the release of FOIL, where we delved into all the run-of-the-mill conversation topics: catching up about the past year, falling in love, and her dog stepping into her role as supreme leader and commander of her devoted fanbase.

Who is REI and who is AMI?

REI is Sailor Mars and AMI is Sailor Mercury from the Japanese anime Sailor Moon. REI is more of a bold, lots of attitude, in your face kind of girl and AMI is more reserved and timid. Both REI and AMI are foil characters of each other, and I resonate with both characters so I like to play their personas in my music.

How does this dual identity inform REI AMI and your sound?

I think the duality aspect definitely helps me experiment more with my sounds and styles. Rather than sticking to just one specific thing, I get to play around with all kinds of sounds. I grew up listening to tons of different music, so having this dual aspect gives me the freedom to experiment.

The idea of a foil to the main character is a staple in most narratives. Are REI and AMI foils to one another? If so, do you consider either side of you to be more of a principal character?

REI and AMI are direct foils to each other because they are so different from each other. REI is represented by the color red and AMI is represented by the color blue. AMI represents the more shy, reserved side of me. REI is more in-your-face and she’s all about confidence and being proud of who you are. I don't think either is more of a principal character than the other. It's a Ying and Yang kind of thing; you can’t have one without the other.

Has this past year affected how you approach music, or more broadly, life in general?

I think that the past year affected my approach when it comes to music and life because it made me realize that literally anything can be taken away from you overnight. It can be gone instantly; the country literally shut down and then we couldn't leave. I feel like I gained a better sense of having gratitude for the things in my life and I didn't realize just how much easier music-making was pre-pandemic. Then, during the pandemic, everything was stressful, and I felt very lost sometimes because I think the whole world was feeling lost. It's kind of easy for you to feel directionless when you're in the middle of a fucking pandemic. So I would definitely agree and say that the past year affected my approach in music making and art.

Go-to hangover cure? Asking for a friend.

Wow, I'm so glad you asked me this question because I literally had my hangover cure this morning. Pho. It will cure you! It will revive the dead; I swear to God. Just put some sriracha in it and it will wake you right up.

What was it like collaborating with Aminé and Lolo Zouaï for FOIL?

Collabing with Aminé and Lolo was amazing. Just the fact that these incredible artists are on my project is a huge honor. Unfortunately, we weren't able to get in the studio together because of the pandemic but you know everything happened so organically so I can’t complain. With Aminé, we sent him a playlist of a bunch of unreleased songs and asked him to pick whatever one he resonated with the most. When he came back with “do it right,” we were just so taken back because I just never thought that that would be the song he chose since it's a slower, more reflective song. Regardless, I’m so glad that he chose “do it right” because he truly made that song so much bigger and better. 

With Lolo, she surprised me actually. I had been in New York during Winter 2019 and I was in the studio with Stelios, her primary collaborator, and we tracked “Cherry Chapstick” with an empty verse. I kind of forgot all about it up until November of 2020 when Lolo just randomly hit me with the dropbox link. It was crazy because I was in San Francisco, her hometown, when she sent it. I listened to the entire song with her verse and I was so thrilled because she absolutely BODIED it. Shout out Lolo for just making my day and making so many of our fans excited about it.

What do you hope people take away from FOIL?

I really hope that people realize that it’s okay to experiment; it’s okay to have more than one aesthetic, it’s okay to quit, it’s okay to start! Life is life, don’t be ashamed and try to hide certain parts of yourself. Whether they're pretty or ugly, those parts make you who you are so embrace every flaw, mistake, etc. I really hope my fans can listen to this project and know that it is OK to be you entirely.

You’ve gone from releasing your debut single, “Make it Mine,” inking a deal with Visionary Records / Sony Music Entertainment, to releasing your largest project to date, all within the span of two years. What’s the most significant thing you’ve learned about yourself in the process?

Good things take time. I was actually supposed to drop the project back in fall 2020 but I pulled the brakes because I felt that the project, at the time, didn’t accurately represent my life and headspace. I had just moved to LA, my team had grown significantly and… I fell in love! So instead, I took a couple months off to focus on the new music and I’m so glad I did. Those extra months gave me the time to live my life, it allowed me to reflect on my past and helped me learn so much about myself.

How is Kyo?

Kyo is amazing. She's really stepped into her role as the supreme leader and commander of the Reibies so I'm really proud. I think she's going to ask for a raise, but that's a conversation that we will have once the project drops. I'll keep you posted!

What’s next for REI AMI?

I think the most immediate thing for me would be taking a fucking nap…but like yeah, merch is coming, tour, shows, lots of exciting things for my Reibies!

Who are your Ones To Watch?

Iamdoechii. My friend Doc, who's also produced a couple tracks on FOIL, put 

FOIL is available everywhere you can stream it.

hi welcome to my first ever blog lmao..Today imma write about my favourite.. Billie Eilish🐍. So enjoy lol.

Billie Eilish is know to be a songwriter, model, and most known as a singer. She was homeschooled when she was younger and so was her brother Finneas because their parents wanted them to have a creative life and let them kind of do and choose what they were interested in. They also had actor and musician parents so it was a really creative life for them. When Billie was only 6 years old she said she wanted to sing “Happiness is a warm gun” in a talent show and she also joined the choir at 8 years old because her brother was in it and she thought that was cool and it actually helped Billie control her voice without hurting it, she was also in a songwriting class taught by her mom. Billie was 10 years old and she told her parents that she wanted to ride horses but they couldn’t afford it so for 2 summers she worked at the stables all day to get the money she needed to ride. O’Connell was Billie’s real last name but she didn’t like it when she was younger so she changed it to Eilish. She didn’t like her first name either, she said that she would try anything to change it. When she was younger she loved to take pictures and make music videos to random songs she liked. When she was just 11/12 she wrote her first song that was posted on SoundCloud and YouTube, it was called “Fingers Crossed” and it was about the walking dead. HOW SHE GOT FAMOUS When she was 14 she made another song and it was called “Ocean Eyes” for her dance teacher and it blew up of views and listens and she basically got famous overnight. In 2017 she put out her first album called ‘Don’t Smile At Me’. In 2019 she became a lot more popular and put out a album called ‘WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?” and then she became the first female artist born in the 2000s to have a #1 album.

I personally love Billie eilish so much, her music is great, it’s calming, and when you listen to it you know what it means straight away..? Ygm?

The song as you know “ when the party’s over” is about Billie eilish falling in love with a guy who is still recovering from his past relationships, and that he knows he has feelings for Billie but he’s broken, and Billie likes him aswell but she knows she can’t be with him. The video she made for this song portrays her as being locked in a painful cycle of self destruction. She continues to willingly engage in a toxic relationship until it utterly consumes and destroys her.

In the song “xanny” Billie is explaining in her song that Billie found herself with some toxic friends. They are always high and drunk and she wasn’t into that kind of stuff. Most people would say that they are just high but she says, “bring ashtrays to the table, and that’s about the only thing they share”. They mostly were probably rude, and would never communicate with her.she was always the one watching over them taking care of them and watching them make their mistakes The song title was meant to kinda sound like the drug Xanax. Like the mood keeps changing you. Billie probably was being suggested to have it and kept saying no.

The song “ wish you were gay” as Billie eilish says “I wrote this song about a guy that really was not interested in me and it made me feel horrible, so the song is called ‘Wish You Were Gay’. Some people find this song very offensive which I don’t know what there is to be offended about the song. The song itself is about how Billie has an interest in a boy who doesn’t feel the same way. She wishes the guy was gay so she wouldn’t think it’s something about her that's preventing the guy from liking her back. If others find it offensive, I don’t necessarily understand how, but I mean everyone is entitled to their opinions.

The song “You should see me in a crown” was about Sherlock.. tbh I thought there was going to be more meaning about this song but it was just a sentence in a movie from

Jim moriarty saying “ you should see me in a crown”I like the way they all scream

billie eilish explained that she thought the line was dope/cool because if you heard it in a dark room, it'd be terrifying and her goal is to freak the people out who’s going to be listening and hearing.

when she said “Cause even God herself” why use the term “herself” who is this ‘she’ she speaks of? Does she speak of herself ?? Or maybe She is refering it to the Mother Earth. Woah, big brain moment now i understand/see the song in a different way now… so Billie prob. meant in the line “once the water starts to rise and heaven’s out of sight, she’ll want the devil on her team” that mother nature is going to begin punishing humans or that she’ll (mother nature) will want to get revenge on us humans for how we have been causing this planet to begin die slowly… Hm..or maybe it also makes me wonder if Billie eillish takes part in the occult,(the selling your soul stuff) I don’t really believe it but I am open to the possibility that these supernatural entities might exist. In the end she says my lucifer is lonely my God is gonna owe me, which indicates that she believes lucifer to be God, I don’t think she is a devil worshipper but yeah it all tells that this song is definitely not only about climate change. I don’t know we all have different opinions..😁😁

lastly.. I have so many other songs to write about but these ones more catch my eyes and ears. Billie is a physically-abusive relationship. However, she is not alarmed. Rather she is just going along for the ride because ultimately she knows that she is in control. In fact whereas he partner likes to play tough, in the end Billie is actually the “bad guy”, and not him. You think the song would be all about the guy.. no no the song is about her. In fact Eilish is so bad that she says if her mother were to actually hear this song she would feel “pity” for the men in her life.

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (11.6-11.12.19):

NEW MUSIC:

·         With Confidence premiered their cover and music video of Train’s iconic track “Drops of Jupiter.” The band, along with many others, are contributors to the second volume of Songs That Saved My Life by Hopeless Records and their nonprofit organization, Sub City.

·         Poppy premiered her brand new track “BLOODMONEY,” alongside a video that finds her kicking ass and taking names. This comes after wrapping up a run on the Threesome Tour with Bring Me the Horizon and Sleeping with Sirens.

·         Originally slated to be released last Friday, All Time Low livestreamed their tribute Nothing Personal documentary a day early on Twitch. Speaking with Alternative Press, frontman Alex Gaskarth revealed the reasoning behind the band’s decision to rerecord the album.

·         Bring Me the Horizon debuted their fiery new track “Ludens” from the forthcoming soundtrack Death Stranding: Timefall (Original Music from the World of Death Stranding). Yesterday, the band shared their new action-packed music video for the song.

·         The Blink-182 live album, The Mark, Tom and Travis Show (The Enema Strikes Back!), is finally available to stream again in certain regions on Spotify. Recorded in 1999, the album includes material from the trio’s first three albums: Cheshire Cat, Dude Ranch and Enema of the State.

·         Motionless in White released a new music video for their song “Undead Ahead 2: The Tale of the Midnight Ride.” They also added more dates to their co-headlining tour with Beartooth and revealed Stick to Your Guns will be joining them on the full 2020 run.

·         You, Me and Everyone We Know teased fans on their social media accounts and also posted a video of an acoustic track on their website, marking their first new song since 2016. Back in 2016, the band revealed in a Tumblr post explaining their reasoning for calling it quits.

·         Fireworks released a brand new track last Thursday titled “Demitassem,” making the song the first new music by the band since 2014. They also tweeted a link to a website that offers a survey and then takes you to the song.

·         After the announcement that their new album You’re Welcome would be released November 15, A Day to Remember took to Instagram last Friday to delay it. The album is now slated to be released in early 2020.

·         As It Is’ latest EP in their reimagined versions series, Acceptance: Reimagined, was released and features reimagined versions of “The Haunting,” “The Hurt, The Hope” and “The End.” Starting this past March, the band have been reworking The Great Depression into different styles.

·         Waterparks felt like taking control of their old music and released a medley of sorts of some songs from their second album, Entertainment. While the 7:43 song features elements from the entire album, it showcases “Tantrum”, “Crybaby” and “Peach (Lobotomy).”

·         Billie Eilish took to Twitter to announce her new single “Everything I Wanted.” The song will be Eilish’s first new music since her debut album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, was released in March of this year.

·         Silverstein announced plans to release an album of concert recordings, LIVE: When Broken is Easily Fixed. Slated for release November 19th, the record is compiled from various recordings from their 2018-2019 tour centered on their debut album of the same name.

·         Weezer snagged Adam DeVine and Barak Hardley, who appear in the upcoming comic thriller Spell, for the strangest therapy session in their “California Snow” video. The band dropped their Black Album earlier this year.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

·         Falling in Reverse canceled their forthcoming Episode IV Tour with Crown the Empire and Tom MacDonald, set to kick off last Thursday, November 7th. The cancellation comes with the tragic news of guitarist Derek Jones’ fiancé suffering complications from her metastatic cancer.

·         Angels & Airwaves announced the addition of a second leg for their upcoming winter tour, which will kick off in January 2020. The news comes on the heels of the release for AVA’s “Kiss & Tell” music video.

·         Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness and AWOLNATION are teaming up for the Lightning Riders Tour next summer. The run kicks off in late May in Asbury Park, New Jersey, and wraps up in Troutdale, Oregon, in June.

·         My Chemical Romance added another show for their reunion run at Download Japan 2020. Billboard also confirmed former touring drummer Jarrod Alexander would join them for the reunion shows, and the band revealed Thursday would be their opener.

·         Billie Eilish headed to White’s label studio in Nashville last Wednesday with brother and collaborator FINNEAS. She is also partnering with Global Citizen to offer fans a chance to work their way into the shows on her tour.

·         Ed Sheeran joined ONE OK ROCK onstage at Yokohama Arena in Yokohama, Japan, on the latter’s Eye of the Storm Japan Tour. ONE OK ROCK supported Sheeran on the Asia leg of his Divide World Tour in April and May earlier this year.

·         Fall Out Boy played a “special show” with iHeartRadio in Seattle yesterday and offered locals the chance to attend at no cost. The band are preparing to release another greatest hits record and live-streamed the entire gig, also doing a Q&A and chat about their upcoming tour.

·         In This Moment announced that they are bringing along Black Veil Brides, DED and Raven Black for a spring tour. The In Between Tour kicks off March 24th at the Orlando House of Blues and wraps up May 17th in Morrison, Colorado, at the iconic Red Rocks Amphitheatre.

OTHER NEWS:

·         Green Day fans were quick to spot Lou Taylor Pucci, the actor who portrayed St. Jimmy in the band’s “Jesus of Suburbia” music video, in an episode of American Horror Story: 1984. The video followed the teen’s heartbreak and struggles opposite Whatsername, portrayed by Kelli Garner.

·         My Chemical Romance frontman, Gerard Way, announced that Doom Patrol is receiving a special stand-alone issue in the series written by DC imprint Young Animal’s Becky Cloonan and Michael Conrad. He announced the new comic on his Instagram account last Wednesday.

·         Circa Survive and Saosin vocalist, Anthony Green, revealed via Twitter he has relapsed in his addiction. Many of Green’s fans and fellow artists responded in support for the musician, and he previously penned an essay for Spotify about his journey with substance abuse.

·         The Black Parade has officially re-entered the Billboard 200 chart. According to Chart Data, which tracks various Billboard charts and collects data on the most popular albums and EPs, this is My Chemical Romance’s first entry in over two years.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

Halsey released her 3rd studio album Manic on the 17th of January. I fell in love with her and her music since the debut Badlands. Halsey is not a common pop artist; she has always been creative and inspiring on her musical journey. For Manic I had mixed feelings and wasn’t actually aware of what to expect. Therefore, I really wanted to review her new body of work and share my thoughts with you. And I know most of you love her music as well.

Let’s start with the singles of the album. Without Me was not meant to be her lead single in the first place but after an unexpected fascinating commercial success, her team must have changed their mind. Without Me is her first #1 solo hit single in the US. Since I was obsessed with this song, I even reviewed it last year. Here you go – Single Review – check it out! Also confusing was that Nightmare, which is a great dark rebellious track, was supposed to be the lead single, but was taken out from the album later on. Halsey explained this decision with the tweet: “I sat down to make a dark mean album and found nothing but calm, introspective, acceptance in my heart”. I was sad about it because I love Nightmare and I think it still would have been a great contrast to the rest of the songs. Halsey then released Graveyard last September as a foretaste of her upcoming album. Now she was singing about being in love with the wrong person and even following them to the graveyard. She wasn’t mad anymore but the track was still upbeat and the chorus dynamic. I must say I couldn’t connect with this single as much as I did with her earlier releases. Halsey continued to bombard us with other singles.

She released clementine at the end of September on her 25th birthday. On this introspective track, sounding childish and fabulous, Halsey imagines her ideal world and talks to a nonexistent lover. Even though she claims that she doesn’t need anyone, she knows that she needs someone. We got the same lyrical content on I HATE EVERYBODY, which makes Halsey kind of repetitive on the record. I don’t think that clementine was single-worthy. It didn’t achieve any commercial success, just like her following single Finally // beautiful stranger. I actually really liked this slow acoustic love song with a calming melody and story-telling lyrics. Halsey wrote it about her ex-boyfriend Yungblud, whom she dated last year. You should be sad, is definitely the masterpiece of the album, it was released one week before the record with a scandalous music video, in which Halsey rides a horse naked. She exactly knew that this would be her last chance to get back commercial attention. However, I think everyone loves this country-influenced pop song with a mad Halsey singing about heartbreak again.

Besides the singles, Manic has so much more to offer with sixteen tracks in total. Ashley the intro track, named after her real name, is a poetic introspective start with dark and serious lyrics. Halsey worked with the famous producers Cashmere Cat and benny blanco on this one, but the track is rather focused on the lyrical content than its production. All these facts also count for Forever … (is a long time), which also sounds similar to clementine. These two tracks are too experimental to be seen as pop songs, they’re rather written like interludes. If you know me, I hate interludes or short tracks on albums in general. In my opinion, they’re just unfinished songs and function as placeholders. Manic counts even three of them. Let’s take a look. Dominic’s Interlude isn’t interesting at all and sonically pleasant for me. So, I allow myself to continue with the next one. Ok, take a deep breath cause this one is crazy! Alani’s Interlude is the part of the album, where Halsey embraces her bisexuality, just look at these lyrics: “Your pussy is a wonderland and I could be a better man. And my girl, she always wore a skirt in the classroom, eatin’ my dessert in the bathroom”. Yeah, I was shocked too. Alanis’ vocals during the chorus just sound awful, to be honest. SUGA’s Interlude is sonically more pleasant but we can’t understand SUGA’s verses anyways unless you speak Korean. I believe that this interlude was a collaboration just to achieve more commercial success since BTS and K-Pop have become more popular and due to the fact that it was also released as a promotional single before the album.

If you want to dance to a track on this album, then 3am is your crazy upbeat rock n roll anthem. Halsey wrote it about the lonely moments you have. When you return from a night out with your friends but still feel lonely deep inside. And you desperately look for someone to talk to just to keep yourself far from your own thoughts. I think it’s relatable to everyone. This new era of social media is really toxic to our social lives. If there wasn’t a You should be sad on this album, 3am would have been my masterpiece of this record. The rather dark and furious killing boys represents Halsey’s attitude after a breakup. For the title, she was inspired by the horror movie Jennifer’s Body (2009, starring Meghan Fox), well represented in the intro. I must say I don’t like the melody and the production of this track. It doesn’t sound new, since the way she sings no more and anymore will remember you of the track More. These two songs together can cause a more-poisoning. However, just to say it once again her single Nightmare would’ve been great next to killing boys. Speaking of More, you can definitely recognize Cashmere Cat’s typical futuristic production in it. But this story-telling track has so much more to express on a personal level. Halsey admitted that this one was the hardest to write since she opens up about her endometriosis and miscarriages. This lullaby-like track is dedicated to her unborn child, whom she just wants more. It’s a touching must-listen for Halsey fans.

If you’re looking for an exquisite production you have to listen to Still Learning, which Halsey co-wrote with Ed Sheeran and Louis Bell. Sonically a masterpiece and regarding the lyrics it’s a self-love anthem. In my opinion, Halsey is one of the most confident artists out there. Therefore, I was shocked when I listened to this track for the first time. I couldn’t believe that she’s still learning to love herself. She also described self-love in an interview as a journey and not as a destination. I hope that she’s going to release this one as a single. The poetic outro track 929, named after Halsey’s birthday (29th of September), is probably the most honest song on Manic. Halsey said that the freestyled lyrics are confessional about her family and fans. She especially references topics like her life before and after becoming famous and even picks up her relationship with G-Eazy. What I love about this track is the smooth guitar-riff. Halsey proofs that not much of production is needed to have an inspiring track. It’s a great way to end the album since Halsey mentions everything that inspired her to write this record.

When I streamed Manic for the first time I wasn’t impressed right away, but I must say that most of the non-singles grew on me later on. Just like Selena did onRare, Halsey also worked with Finneas, Billie Eilish’s brother, on a track. Finneas co-produced Lose You To Love Me for Selena and I HATE EVERYBODY for Halsey. After he produced the most-selling album of 2019, he must be getting a lot of requests to work with major artists. I’m sure that I’ll see his name more often.

Manic is probably Halsey’s most personal album so far and I can’t wait to see her live on the European leg of her Manic World Tour this spring. Her stage presence and performances are always fascinating.

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Let me introduce you MANIC! Halsey: Honest and Personal on Manic – Album Review Halsey released her 3rd studio album Manic on the 17th of January. I fell in love with her and her music since the debut…

NEW TRACKS: FINNEAS - “I Lost a Friend”

Born into a family of artists, Finneas O’Connell (21) caught the performance bug early on. From a young age, he accompanied  his parents to auditions, but it wasn’t a glamorous Hollywood experience — like for so many L.A. children, auditions were just another way to pass the time, and throw your hat in with the hopes of landing something fun. That’s how he ended up with several big acting titles under his belt: Bad Teacher, Modern Family, and his own character arc on the last season of Glee.

Ultimately, though, acting was taking up time from his real passion: music. For the last couple years, Finneas has been working out of his bedroom studio. Even before he curated a professional setup, Finneas says he was making up tunes and words for as long as he remembers. In high school, Finneas was the lead singer for a band he helped form called The Slightlys. They travelled all around their region performing original songs, taking it all very seriously, collecting awards and recognition for their efforts. One of their originals, “Ocean Eyes,” felt like it would sound better with female vocals, so they gave it to his little sister, Billie, now better known to the world as Billie Eilish. The song blew up, and so did both of their opportunities to focus full-time on music.

Finneas — stage name stylized as FINNEAS — has a very different style from the songs he helps write and produce for his sister. They are less dark, less production-heavy, and often a lot more personal. His latest single, “Lost a Friend,” is carried almost entirely by his own vocals. A distant, swelling piano is present throughout, and soft backing beats come in almost two-thirds of the way to emphasize the chorus. As he speaks about his loss, his vocals ascend to steadily delivered high notes, harmonized by his own backing vocals. The emotions come through even if you’re not listening to the lyrics; sonically, the loss and hurt are there, and the words tell the same story. one of the concepts are new, but they all feel real. His hurt feels genuine and personal as he opens up and lets us be vulnerable with him about all his mistakes, going back over fights to see where they went wrong, realizing finally that life isn’t just black and white.

With the line “You make a little too much money to be twenty and sad,” he reflects on comments made about his newfound success, but through his songs, we get a glimpse beyond the glamorously staged photo shoots. Through his music, we get closer to his real self, as he lets us in on some of his life's loves, losses, heartbreaks, and triumphs. He has said before that he cherishes the opportunity to collaborate with people because he enjoys looking through someone else's eyes, and trying to tell a story from their perspective, but through his multitude of singles, we finally get a glimpse at what the world looks like from the eyes of Finneas himself.

- Alina Gaynutdinova

4. Ashlyn – ASHE Following in Halsey and Lady Gaga’s footsteps, Ashe has decided to use her real name in a title. While this makes sense for the ones above, who did it pretty far along in their careers to signal a gear towards “authenticity”, (Gaga’s ill-fated Joanne and Halsey’s marvelous Ashley) this is Ashe’s debut album – that is, if you don’t consider the two EPs she put out in 2019, Moral of the Story: Chapters 1 & 2, an album in disguise, which I absolutely do. They have the same title! You could argue that they are only eight songs long, but how long does an album have to be these days? I’m just confused as to what constitutes an album for Ashe (and everyone else), that’s all. Is it a chapbook or a short story collection? And, if there are two chapbooks under the same title but divided into chapters one and two, aren’t they part of a collection?
In any case, Ashlyn steals its predecessor’s title track. That’s right, Moral of the Story is in this album, even though it is a two-year-old song that has its own album (fine, two EP’s) titled after it. And not only is it here, but there are two versions of it, one featuring Niall Horan, who was always the least annoying member of One Direction. The other feature on the album is Billie Eilish’s brother FINNEAS. I wonder who’s next, Joshua Basset? Lance Bass? I’m sorry, I’ve been seduced by cruelty – it’s not my fault: here I am trying to say nice things and all I do is nitpick. My talents for insult and compliment are unbalanced – I blame my parents. If I don’t have anything bad to say, I don’t say anything at all, which is why most of these critiques will probably just be me listing whatever’s wrong with each album, and the one with the shortest list wins. For instance, Ashlyn is not as good as Rabbit Hole or Moral of the Story, despite the recycled content. However (and here I am employing so much effort), it is in itself a fun album with solid tracks. 
There are not a single bad song here, in fact. Whereas song order is a bit confusing and all over the place (Ryne’s Song between Serial Monogamist and Kansas is… interesting? I guess we needed some contrast), there’s always shuffle (even though Adele tried ruining it). Also, the two tracks listed above, Serial Monogamist and Kansas, are an altogether sonic landslide. 
You know how, when you show your grandparents any “current” music, they say it sounds like The Beatles? My grandmother said that about both SR-71’s Right Now and Wannabe by the Spice Girls. But Ashe? The Beatles influence is legitimate, as well as that of classic jazz. You see, the most fascinating thing about Rabbit Hole was the level of reference it carried: We Get High is a reformulation of When I Get Low I Get High, and Someone to Lose pays homage to Strawberry Fields. With reference, nevertheless, comes reverence – and the less blatantly deferential Ashlyn could mean Ashe is hearing different choirs in her head. Not that I find originality that important, or that this album is some avant-garde item. It’s still got a 60’s/70’s vibe to it. Old-school vocalist that she is, Ashe brings both jazz vocal tricks and Beatles influence into her music, just in a subtler, less winky-wink way. But yeah, you can definitely hear the Lennon / McCartney version of this. Like if Magical Mystery Tour were made today. Of course, then today’s music scene would be completely different, but you get it. Taylor and I’m Fine are extra Beatles-infused. Not to sound like a grandma, but this album really is a full-on jam session. 
Best Song: Moral of the Story will be a classic some day, but it must be disqualified due to its previous links to other albums. Serial Monogamist is the winner. 
Skip: Always did not get a like from me, so I assume it doesn’t song great. 
Best lyrics: I cannot get over the moment in Moral of the Story when her mother and her lawyer ask her “where did you find this guy?”. Let’s just cite it as the Niall duet version so it won’t be disqualified.

Pale Waves have dropped their new video for ‘You Don’t Own Me’. Taken from their just released new album Who Am I?, the clip fits perfectly to the 90s-slash-00s guitar pop aesthetic that runs throughout the record. All multicoloured hair and graffiti covered walls, it’s a bright, brash delight. [via Dork]

Los Angeles-based pop artist Cooper Phillip is known for her empowering anthems that highlight everything from strength and gratitude to self-love. Her latest single, 'Not Perfect,' is yet another example of her ability to craft uplifting tunes, encouraging listeners to start putting themselves before others in order to fulfill your own desires. The Russian-born singer has just dropped a new music video, and it's everything we expected from this flamboyant artist and more. The theatrical video emphasizes the importance of rebelling against the idea of being perfect and all that it represents. When you begin to let go of the idea of perfection, Phillip reminds us, life is so much better. Phillip wants to encourage you to live life a little less seriously, do what you want, wear what you want, and most importantly, be who you want. After all, our time on this planet is far too short to worry about living up to other people's standards and expectations. According to the artist herself, "'Not Perfect' is about self love and finding qualities about yourself that make you unique. There is no need to modify who you are just to fit in with society's norms. You have to stay true to who you are and carry yourself with pride and with dignity." 'Not Perfect' features Phillip's soaring, soulful vocals, big and bold melodies, and fast-paced, dance-worthy beats. Intoxicating to say the least, this song will worm its way into your mind all day long. By the end, it'll have you grinning ear to ear, and more importantly, it'll remind you who you are. [via Pop Dust]

Closely following the release of their new single, Maltese electro-pop outfit OXYGYN have shared the brand new video for ‘Mercy’. The new video continues from 2020’s ‘Wicked White Lies’, a portrayal of how society deals with social issues in which individuals are made vulnerable, as frontman Kurt Abela details: “We become angered by a social cause when it first emerges, but we are quick to break it down within our own minds and forget. Instead, we focus on our own personal issues, and are not able to overcome them. This video acts as a wake-up call to society that the social issues hinted at throughout the video are still present and need their due attention.”

Oxford alt-pop outfit pecq have unveiled the video for ‘Killing Time’ . The band say: "‘Killing Time' is about making the same mistakes over and over – dying relationships I kept going back to, destructive habits I can’t break. I’m a big one for drastic changes and breaking with the past but so many times I end up back where I started – burn it down and build it just the same." Killing Time is the second single from their forthcoming EP Stranger, due out April 15. [via Loud Women]

With us getting a taster of spring the past weekend, singer-songwriter Bess Atwell is keeping the momentum going with her dreamy new single 'Co-op'. Like the first blooms of spring, Atwell’s latest single unfolds with serene ripples of guitar strings surrounded by her lush calming vocals, leading us to a track that has us reminiscent of Lana Del Rey and Phoebe Bridgers. Similar to her previous offerings, the track maintains the same fresh and unique sound she has displayed throughout her career. Accompanied by a self-directed video, the singer puts the emotional context of the track at the forefront, directly referencing the lyrics with bold imagery and contrasting props. Opening up on the single, the singer revealed, “It’s an illustration of mine and my partner’s life together. The relationship seemed to provide me with some sort of permission to recuperate from family trauma, as if realising for the first time that there was a life outside of that chaos lulled me into an emotional slumber. Through the song, I grapple with the desire for, and fear of, comfort. I used references to Virginia Woolf’s Mrs Dalloway to depict a vivid nostalgia and an affinity for trivialities that serve to calm when darker thoughts set it.” [via Wonderland]

Polish alt-pop aesthete Brodka has shared her barbed new single 'Game Change'. The multi-hyphenate returns with new album BRUT, a fresh statement from a potent, outspoken figure. Huge in her homeland, Brodka has shifted and evolved with each project - and BRUT will be a further chapter in this. New single 'Game Change' is out now, and lyrically it's an expressive statement of feminism that comes at a timely moment for Poland. Brodka says that the single "is about gender roles in society; a topic that's particularly prevalent in her home-country of Poland at the moment, where reproductive rights are being rolled back by lawmakers." The dazzling video is online now, and it spins a repressive dogma on its head. She says: "While making the video for 'Game Change', I was inspired by the story of the Albanian Sworn Virgins. Women who, by taking a vow of chastity, take on a male role in society while gaining all the privileges associated with being a man. They are treated as men but can keep their feminine names. This story, although abstract, is relevant to the current situation of women in Poland. Sadly, you don't have to be a Sworn Virgin to have your rights decided by men in the 21st century." [via Clash]

After teasing the collaboration last week, Ashe and FINNEAS have unveiled their new single 'Till Forever Falls Apart'. The collaborative track is accompanied by a video directed by Sam Bennett that shows both artists dancing at sunset. Ashe says of the song, "'Till Forever Falls Apart' is one of my favourite songs with one of my favourite people. If I’ve learned anything from Moral of the Story, it’s that accepting the hard truth is strangely comforting. This song, while sounding like the most romantic song I’ve ever written, is about acceptance as well. The lyrics, ‘I’m gonna love you knowing we don’t have forever’ is about how it’s more important to have had the chance to love than to stay in love. FINNEAS is one of the most talented people I know and it’s fitting to release this song with someone I love so much. I'm lucky to know him and I hope to never know a life without him in it." FINNEAS adds, "Ashe to me, is a timeless artist. Her music will be as relevant and important 30 years from now as it is today. Making music with her has always been an extension of our friendship and I could not love this song more." [via Line Of Best Fit]

Charley enters into the Australian pop world with her debut single 'Hard For Me'. It's the type of slick, high-tier pop song that sits amongst the world's biggest stars, carrying the same acute level of sheen and confidence as Charley moves above a bright, synth-driven production that elevates her every word. It's the type of single that takes the foundations laid by modern-day pop heavy-hitters - she lists Katy Perry as an inspiration, for example - and builds upon them, evolving the sound forwards into 2021 and beyond. Produced by Stephen Schmultz in Nashville three years ago now, the song introduces Charley and everything you need to know about her this early on. You get a taste of her sound and the energies and inspirations that fuel them, as well as the intimacy that underlies a lot of her songwriting, and how she brings pockets of her personal life to the forefront through glitzy pop songwriting. She's a welcome addition to Australian pop, and you get the sense that 'Hard For Me' is really just the beginning. "[Hard For Me has been] a long time coming, and as a Virgo, I am not patient," she says on the single. "In my head, this has always been my debut release. It’s got such a special place in my heart. I’ve had such a vision for every single part of it. "Me and my boyfriend had kind of just gotten back together again at that point. All of the butterflies were heightened again. I just wanted to write a song about how I felt about him and how it gave me such a rush when I looked at him. Everyone has been there! When you just… melt." Take a dive into the single and its Mitchell McKay-directed video clip above. [via Pilerats]

After making a name for themselves with their dusty-yet-glowing self-titled debut in 2017, Chapel Hill duo Blue Cactus are announcing their return with their second LP called Stranger Again. Set to be released May via Sleepy Cat Records, the album continues the pair’s mission to blend classic country sounds with vintage ’70s pop sensibilities and a sobering sense of honesty, as heard on the record’s first single, 'Come Clean.' “Sometimes we are the last person to tell ourselves the truth,” vocalist Stephanie Stewart shares of the track’s lyrical origins. “We ignore our gut, suppress our instincts, and go through the motions of a life that other people have defined for us. We become the person everyone else wants us to be and lose ourselves along the way. ‘Come Clean’ is about radical self-love and acknowledging the struggle in that journey; that hard, unflinching look in the mirror. “In 2017,” she continues, “I was in the process of separating from my then husband. I wrote most of this song during that time. It wasn’t until a year later after the divorce was finalized that I was able to find the words that had been missing from this song. I was carrying a lot of shame and guilt, and once I finally let that go, I was free to rediscover who I was as a person outside of that relationship. I was finally free to love me.” The track’s video echoes these themes of rebirth and relearning, with the band members blindfolded and slowly making contact with the outside world. [via Flood]

Mermaidens have delivered their catchiest, dreamiest cut yet. 'Soft Energy' is the single teased with the announcement of their Soft Energy New Zealand Tour. The new track is stupidly good, and ushers in the next Mermaidens era after 2019 album Look Me In The Eye. Vocalist Gussie Larkin took the director's chair for the 'Soft Energy' video, and with support from NZ On Air and director of photography Ezra Simons (Earth Tongue), has created a blush-tinted world for the band to expose their soft, tender hearts and ask those with a "tough and detached exterior ... to act with softness and vulnerability". [via Under The Radar]

Along with the release of her debut EP, Swimming Lessons, 19-year-old alt-pop singer-songwriter Genevieve Stokes premiered the video for her newest single, 'Parking Lot,' on Friday. Shot in her hometown of Portland, ME, the 'Parking Lot' video is a wistful tribute to the first flush of young love. "I wrote 'Parking Lot' after I met my now-boyfriend for the first time," Stokes tells NYLON. "It’s about the intoxicating, obsessive feeling of a new crush and creating a fantasy world with them. " After teaching herself piano at the age of eight, Stokes spent her adolescence developing her sound, inspired by iconic female singer-songwriters like Cat Power and Regina Spektor. Swimming Lessons was recorded this past year in a cabin in the woods, a haunting, beautiful setting that seeps into the records' sound. [via NYLON]

You can’t blame us for wanting a bit of hedonistic relief after a year of going stir-crazy within our four walls. And as we yearn for release, and ache for the proximity and darkness of a packed dance floor, here to give it to us, no questions asked, is dark-pop trio KRUDO. Comprised of pop singer Olivia May Green, as well as established industry greats, producers Dan Duncan and Igor Tchkotoua, KRUDO blurs the lines of genre to make way for a whole new body-moving beast – and their latest release 'You Can’t Blame Me' is no exception. Moody warped synths, sinister bass lines and the haunting vocals of Green tell a story of empowerment and self-love, as she growls “I’ll never change or leave to fit your master plan.” Just the anthem we needed when many of us will be feeling disconnected and out of sorts. The trio have previously stated that their music is “not about polished pop music; it’s about memorable moments that hold a clear message.” And that much is clear from the formidable sonic palette of the new release, accompanied by a symbolic music video which shows Green breaking the picture-perfect shackles of industry expectation and rising phoenix-like into her own identity. Taken from their two-part EP of the same name, the release comes as part of the ever-expanding release schedule of label HE.SHE.THEY – the event series, record label and fashion brand operating as a safe space for individuals regardless of “age, race, sex, gender, ableness, religious background or sexual preference”. [via Wonderland]

Top popster Bebe Rexha has dropped a brand new single, titled ‘Sacrifice’. The track is taken from her forthcoming second album, which she claims is “by far the most challenging yet fulfilling project I have ever worked on. I wrote, recorded, re-wrote, re-recorded and then repeated that process in order to deliver an album that truly reflects who I am as a singer, songwriter and most importantly as an artist. I want to give listeners a journey of pop paradise fused with elements of rock and hip-hop. It’s important to me that my music continues to recognize ongoing themes of vulnerability, the cycle of self-destruction & self-realization, and female empowerment.” So there we go. ‘Sacrifice’ follows up on 2020’s ‘Baby, I’m Jealous’ which featured Doja Cat. You can check out the vampire themed video above. [via Dork]

Tulliah has debuted the video for her really quite lovely new single, ‘Distant Dreams’. Taken from her debut EP Fre$h Hugs – set to drop next Friday (12th March), the clip was filmed in her hometown of Mt Martha Beach, Australia and directed by Cass Wood. Tulliah explains, “30 degrees, snow gear on the beach, fish man = very weird dream! I had this idea for a while that the video clip for 'Distant Dreams' would be really weird and dream like. When I was in the studio we went on a tangent about being in winter clothes while sunbathing on the beach, flying on planes to Hawaiian beaches and little fishes eating big sharks. I have no idea why haha but I knew it was weird, just like all Dreams are”. Talking about how the track came together, she adds: “We set up my new piano in the backroom of my parent’s. My mum was moving a painting that they have had for years to the top of the piano when she read the back of it – it was called Distant Dreams. This song flowed out of me. I used to never really believe that I could achieve my dreams. This song is about not wanting to break away from my visions and goals. The lyrics ‘don’t go waking me up’ is a really direct demand to myself! It’s about not wanting to go back to doubting my capabilities.” [via Dork]

Ladyhawke is back with a brand new single, ‘Guilty Love’. The first taster of a new album, due to arrive later this year, the track features fellow popsters BROODS. Ladyhawke – real name Pip Brown – explains: “‘Guilty Love’ came about after some writing sessions with Tommy English in Los Angeles. Georgia Nott from BROODS came along to one of our sessions, and after we were talking a while, we realised we had all grown up Catholic. We shared stories and experiences; Georgia then suggested we write a song about shame”. “‘Guilty Love’ is important to Georgia and me for different reasons. Personally, growing up in the Catholic school system, as I reached my teens, I started to feel immense shame and denial about my sexuality. I suffered the constant fear of being judged and alienated by my friends and family. These feelings took a long time to shake off and work through. ‘Guilty Love’ is a way to share our experiences, and hopefully help anyone going through the same thing to know they’re not alone.” Georgia from BROODS adds “’Guilty Love’ came from the classic “in-studio heart to heart”. We talked about growing up religiously and how we carried a lot of shame around the idea of what a woman (or person) should be. This song is about that but also about finding our own way back to a sense of spirituality through love. The love that once caused so much guilt, ended up being the most healing and spiritual. END CONVERSION THERAPY EVERYWHERE!” Too bloody right. ‘Guilty Love’ comes with a video fitting of the song’s message. [via Dork]

Atlanta-based pop artist Siena Liggins shared her video 'No Valet' on Thursday, the second single from her upcoming debut album Ms. Out Tonight. The track serves as the follow-up to 'Dirty Girl' alongside Yung Baby Tate, seeing the singer take viewers from the dancefloor to the backseat of a car in the club parking lot. The quirky clip finds Liggins adorned and surrounded by sparkly glitz, cowboy hats, and disco balls, playfully performing with a full band. "'No Valet' is steamy, downtempo braggadocio disguised as a backseat car anthem for whatever happens after the after-party," Siena explained to FADER about the song. “I was listening to a lot of old songs produced by Timbaland before [producer] Nydge laid down this really sexy bassline that put me in the mood for something steamy and dreamy at the same time.... It’s the confidence I get after the function is over and the groove I need when I’m talking my shit." [via The FADER]

London's Mychelle is certainly an individual. Freshly signed to FAMM - the same management company as Jorja Smith and ENNY - her new single 'The Way' is a subtle but deeply powerful piece of songwriting. Soft and soulful, it relishes on nuance, allowing the most subtle element to rise and grapple with intensity. Mychelle's video for 'The Way' was shot on Hackney Downs in East London - fact fans might not that it's close to our office. Directed by photographer Michaela Quan it's a beautiful glimpse into her world. [via Clash]

Pussy Riot have announced a new EP called Panic Attack, due out next week — March 11. As a preview of the impending release, they’re sharing 'Sexist', a bold new single featuring fellow Russian rapper Hofmannita, which comes with an unforgettable NSFW music video. 'Sexist' is the second single Pussy Riot have shared from Panic Attack, following 'Toxic', their collaboration with Dorian Electra and 100 gecs’ Dylan Brady. Produced by White Punk and Count Baldor, 'Sexist' is a dark electro-pop hip-hop song about the severity of rape culture. Pussy Riot and Hofmannita take turns telling the fictional story of a heroine being invited to a hotel room by a male governmental official, being harassed, and, unable to escape, murdering him in self-defense. Consider shielding your screen before hitting play on the song’s music video. In the NSFW clip, various nude men pose as pieces of furniture while the singers casually push them around with collars and whips. Peppered throughout is plenty of latex apparel, BDSM positioning, and generally regal decor. According to Pussy Riot member Nadya Tolokonnikova, the video is meant to inverse the main premise of the patriarchal culture. “Instead of women and queer people being objectified and serving as furniture, we use sexist pigs as furniture,” she said in a statement. “The video does not encourage to oppress anyone, but rather satirically highlights arbitrary and absurd nature of any oppression.” [via Consequence of Sound]