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brown-rice · 7 years

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A post about volunteering at AX a month later. Hella long shit under the cut lol

I held off posting about AX b/c I had a lot of uncomfortable, negative emotions going on. Overall, it was a good experience and one I don’t regret since I learned a lot. Now that I’ve waited so long to post tho, I’m not sure if I remember everything clearly lmao. This is going to be hella long, I can feel it.

Day -2: It was actually really stressful for me the first day. I volunteered with Ray, but we were in different departments and carpools. I only really went to AX b/c I wanted to make friends that were into the same things I was, since most of my close friends don’t really watch/read stuff. I was essentially going into my first con alone and although I’m pretty good about being friendly and trying to make friends, I still felt really lonely since I hadn’t clicked with anyone yet. I spent most of that day wandering around with this group of guys I don’t even remember and Nicole who was in my dept. The guys got along really well, really fast, and I tried to talk to Nicole, but she was really difficult to talk to, giving one word answers most of the time. Through the week tho, I learned she was just a really shy person. My carpools were one of my managers (meaning he was hella busy) and a kinda obnoxious person so I just sat around in the old HQ on my phone. It wasn’t until the night meeting that I met David, tall Justin, Leon, and Jordan who were in my dept, as well as each others roommates. Honestly, if I never met these guys, I would have had a horrible time. They were really easy to get along with and let me into their group pretty naturally, and I was surprised that they had all just met that day b/c it seemed like they had known each other a long time based on how they acted. David was essentially the cool-guy, leader of their group. We were joined by short Justin and his old roommate Joseph, and Barney. I got to know them and we all traded contact info and decided to have a drinking party post meeting. Tbh I was incredibly concerned with being the only girl going to drink with a bunch of guys I had just met, even if they were friendly. Joseph and short Justin wanted to buy better drinks and I tagged along and got to know them better. Stuff kinda got out of hand when we found out Joseph’s room was connected to the hotel pool, and short Justin invited everyone at the pool to join us so he could flirt with the girls. Everyone was super nice to me, which was gr8 b/c people kept making me drinks and trying to chat me up lol. I spent a long time laying on Joseph’s bed talking to David which Joseph was mildly annoyed with short Justin and decided to eat an edible to ease his anger. That first night was probably the most drunk I’ve ever been hahahaha

Day -1: The next day wasn’t too much different,sleeping in, just going to meetings/training and getting to know more people. I was a lot less lonely b/c I had an actual group to talk to now. Spent a lot of time talking to short Justin and meeting my new roommate Vanessa. And then we had another drinking party which I can’t really remember the details of. A lot of the dept members still weren’t there, so it was just the usual few.

Day 0: This was probably the wildest day for me LMAO. Our volunteer work officially starts on Day 1, so I was getting kinda nervous since the con center was actually really big and I had to learn the entire layout to do my job properly. Most of the volunteers in my dept (GOH Control btw) were there now. Our job is to escort VIPs and provide light security when moving them from location to location. We use the back passageways of the convention center to help protect them. As a dept, we went around to every important location and the basic passages to each. Since it was my first time seeing some locations, I still didn’t really know what was where, so when one Kenya (my manager/carpool) asked for people to stay behind and help Sonya (dunno if anyone reads this, but names will just be people in my dept unless stated otherwise) practice giving orders, I volunteered to stay behind. In the end 4 vets: short Justin, Sean, Mono, and Jeff stayed to help 4 new: me, Gary, Nicole, and Robert. We were sent out as a large group and the vets wanted us to lead the way, but it was such a shitstorm. Gary was our lead, but each vet directed him a different way to go and yelled a lot at us, which really wasn’t helpful. We got lost, Robert went to the bathroom without even telling us, and decided to go back to the new HQ. Gary was furious. He demanded that we split into pairs b/c he couldn’t deal with 4 people yelling different things at him, and honestly, I was pretty pissed too and seconded his idea. It was quiet and a little awk since no one really knew each other and didn’t know who to pair off with until short Justin called dibs on me. In my mind it made sense b/c I thought we were p good friends and he was a 3 year vet. Everyone else paired off from there, and we split up to explore the mostly empty con center on our own.

I was so stressed about trying to figure out and memorize locations that I didn’t really notice Justin trying to hit on me. At first it was just shoulder grabs and hand bumps, but it became hand holding and hip grabs pretty soon. At first I thought that maybe he was just walking really close and he didn’t know it, and he was still doing a pretty good job of showing me around the center with an occasional pick up line here or there (like asking me to the dance), which I took as him just wanting to get to know me as a friend. It didn’t suck when we were holding hands and honestly, his looks are my type and we were into a lot of the same video games, shows, etc. I just didn’t think things were going to escalate so fast. Pretty much done with the tour, he decided to test me/show me his “secret locations” in case of emergency, and looking back on it now, I was pretty dumb to have fallen for that haha. Tbh I was really excited, like wow this guy actually knows his stuff, I’m glad we were paired up together. And then suddenly we’re making out in an elevator. It was alright, neither good or bad, really only a feeling like “oh huh I guess this is happening, I guess we’re making out now.” I broke the kiss to explain that I asexual and that if he wanted to fuck, I was def not his girl. I think he took it as, “hoo boy this young girl is an inexperienced virgin, i’m gonna show her the ropes, etc.” We wandered around more, stopping to make out more and more frequently, and as it went on, I felt more flustered, nervous, and uncomfortable b/c it seemed like everything was going a bit too fast for me. Making out now included grinding and ass grabs which weren’t bad, they just weren’t goo either. Every time, I broke the kiss sooner and sooner, apologizing more and more, and IDK why I always apologize for being inexperienced/not putting out even when I know I don’t owe the guy anything. I knew he was getting more upset each time I stopped, and tbh if I was him, I’d be mad too. We eventually split after his best friend came to get him, and I had to meet up with my roommates to see a panel. I was so emotionally drained that I actually called Landon to vent to him, and I still feel shitty about having to do that. When my roommates found me, they could tell something was up, and I explained the situation to them. We went to the panel, but they had late volunteer shifts in their departments, so I decided to go around what parts of the con were open by myself. The panel was so funny, but not enough to take my mind off of what just happened. Eventually I met this guy named Henry who asked me if there was anything good to see at like 10 PM. He said he was looking around for business and eventually handed me a business card after I showed him a probably skeptical face LOL. He asked for social media in order to see some panels with me and I gave him my fb after deciding he was harmless. He never did message me to see something with him, but did wish me happy birthday. I don’t think I went to any drinking party that night. I was so beyond flustered aaaaaaa.

Day 1: An early morning and the first day we wore suits!!!! Since we’re security, we have a dress code of wearing suits on Day 1 and 4, while the other days are business casual. Volunteering was a lot of fun, job-wise. I enjoyed walking around and escorting a lot for some reason. No problems there really. When I got there, I had my first escort job solo and I was a little nervous. Which didn’t really help that my guest literally ran in front of me and I had to chase after his ass in my heels. Justin looked damn good in his suit, tho tbh there were a few other attractive boys and I thank the lord for our dress code LOL. Anyway, short Justin spent the whole day ignoring me and hitting on Sonya, which hurt more than I expected. I hadn’t actually rejected Justin either, but he only spoke to me when I offered people food or if we were sent on escort jobs together, which actually ended up being often. We were supposed to go to the overwatch panel together, but didn’t. Sonya and I started hanging out as the only 2 girls on shift who actually talked, and when she started complaining about Justin’s advances on her, I came clean about what happened between Justin and I b/c I wanted to vent. While I was starting to develop feelings for Justin and actually feeling jealous over him flirting with other girls, I felt more sad about losing a good friend (b/c we were into the same things, tho who knows, maybe he was lying idk). While venting in some secret code to Sonya, across the table Luis was trying to put the pieces together and eventually became interested in the convo as was Toshi, since we were around Justin and the other managers, Sonya and I stated it was just some story. Toshi, Gary, David, and I were eventually sent on an escort mission and I accidentally let slip that I had been hit on by other guys (I was so frustrated about the Justin situation and there had been a few harmless attendees who hit on me as well). David and Gary left to go hit on girls/take pictures with cosplayers, so Toshi asked me what the story was and I ended up unloading all of my problems onto this poor, unsuspecting boy. We went around the con together and talked, and found out we both liked BNHA, and it was such a good friendship b/c he was kinda into Sonya and I was trying to deal with whatever feelings I had for Justin, so it was just, idk, nice to be able to talk to someone and not worry about advances????

Toshi, Leon, and I were the only underage kids that actually hung out and went to the night parties. After getting to know Toshi, I learned that he wanted to get hella lit and I knew that there would be more parties. I went around and impulse bought a poster and spent time trying to go to some panels. When the shifts were over, I went back to the hotel hung around with David’s crew and spent the rest of the night chilling with my roommates. David then messaged me asking me to the dance, and I tried to deflect him since I was still into Justin. I think that day we also almost made the mangaka of Shoukugeki no Soma cry??? b/c he loved how we escorted him hahahaha

Day 2: Not really anything special, just more of the same kinda stuff as day 1. I spent so much money and time in artist alley RIP. Wake up early, do the escorting, explore con during free time, drinking party at night. Gary asks me out to coffee. Still mild jealousy over Justin, but I treated him as a friend like normal. I did some jobs and got candy and a free autograph!! which was rly nice of the people.My sister and her friend came, so we got some boba, and when I got back to the con center I walked from the con center to the hotel with the squad b/c they didn’t feel like waiting for a shuttle. it was tiring but a lot of fun. Since there wasn’t too much that day, everyone wanted to have a big drinking party, and Toshi was super excited b/c his goal was to get mad lit, and I went to keep an eye on him. On the shuttle, he and Sonya, who were now pretty close, both asked me if Justin was still bothering me, and I didn’t notice Luis and Joseph sitting behind us on the mostly empty shuttle, listening. They asked me about what happened and imparted wisdom from their age LOL. The people who I vented to then became Luis, Sonya, Joseph, and Toshi. Unrelated, David didn’t talk to me as much as he used to either. He flirted with a lot more girls in front of me, and Toshi and Luis said he was trying to make me jealous. I don’t get jealous ever, the stuff with short Justin was the first time that it happened to me tbh. Leon, Toshi and I are 19, compared to the rest of the dept who are 22+. It was a pretty fun night, since ofc I kept getting free drinks again, good stories, good people.

Day 3: Not much different job wise, but I spent all my break time walking around, so i was exhausted when I had to go back, which was really dumb of me. Met up with Roman and Leinad and went around artist alley some more. Before I came back I bought some food from the Persona 5 food truck which was really good, but this creepy guy bombarded me with questions. He started off with asking my age and saying I looked young which was an instant red flag. His persistence and advances made me really uncomfortable and while I did get hit on quite a bit throughout AX, this guy was probably the worst. Leon asked me out to the neon district show and I softly turn him down. I was sent to the rooftop bar to help escort guests, but they sent me back after finding out I couldn’t drink. I decided to stay in HQ watching David and tall Justin’s stuff b/c they were going to be at the bar after we were done for the day. I thought I was just being nice, but apparently not??? When David and tall Justin get back, David tells me that he got me into the bar. That he gave away as exclusive lanyard to get me in. And ofc I’m like???/ Why???? would you do that for me???? And he just says that he wants me to see the bar, and enjoy stuff at my first con. I can’t really turn him down after he gave away his lanyard for me, so I go to the bar, they mark my hand so that I don’t drink. It was fun seeing my managers get wasted and seeing VIPs shred the dance floor tho. Luis was there and kind of questions why I’m with David, and I get a lot of questions asking if I’m his girlfriend or not. When we get back to the hotel and check discord, Gary was upset that he missed the previous party that was a lot of fun so we threw another one. A lot of shit happened. The guys thought it would be funny to invite tall Justin’s crush to the party. Tall Justin is kinda an asshole, but I learned that he was a nice guy who put up a tough douche facade in order to not look weak in front of the other guys. When he finds out that they invite her, he storms out of the party, and I felt so bad that I chased after him, and Luis chases after me, though we come back after we can’t find him. Regi gave me some boba, so I didn’t drink that much that night, Toshi had to be restrained because he was drinking too much. I messaged David to come and tell Luis and Joseph about what happened. Jeanette takes 6 shots too many after David arrives. David flirts with tall justin’s girl to make me jealous. Eventually the shuttles stop and a couple of us decide to take the last shuttle. That night was one I’ll never forget. I was pretty drunk, and Jeanette was so gone it was so funny. Tall Justin holds Jeanette up and escorts her back, I’m mostly fine, but Luis watches out for me anyway. Mono helps Toshi, and Robert comes with us. The rest decide they’ll take an Uber later. As soon as we exit the door, Jeanette falls down and asks for water, I run back inside to get her some water, find out there’s none left and then Jeanette finds her water bottle in her shorts. Tall Justin can barely hold her up and struggles to drag her to the shuttle stop. We eventually lose Mono, Robert, and Toshi, and get on a different shuttle. Jeanette can’t even sit up and flops all over Justin, while Luis and I are losing it in the seat behind them. Once we get to the hotel, Jeanette falls on the ground in front of her room and we try to find her room key in her pockets and it ends up being demagnetized, I start running downstairs and almost trip myself, Luis yelling behind me, we get back, open the door and try to be as quiet as possible since everyone in the room is asleep. I’m holding the room door open and Jeanette complains about using the bathroom so Justin opens the door for her, but she locks herself in. After Justin finally gets her out of the room, Jeanette starts calling for Luis over and over and over. At this point I just lose it and slide to the ground, trying to keep my laughs quiet. Luis walks away from door and goes down the hall, trying not to laugh himself. Meanwhile tall Justin is whisper-yelling at us that we’re so useless. After we finally get jeanette into bed and close the door, Luis and I bust up laughing while Justin tells us that he’s never drinking with us ever again.

Day 4: A very slow day. A late shift for me, so I spent the rest of my time looking for stuff in artist alley tho I decide to cut my free time early and start going on escorts even tho I don’t need to. Last day of suits and a bunch of us leave to go see the Cowboy Bebop concert. I get sent with short Justin on an awkward coffee run. I end up stuck with Joseph, Regi, Jeff, and short Justin who decide that they shouldn’t leave me by myself, which was p nice. I didn’t know if my ride wanted to go to the AX volunteer bowling after-party, and we all decide to go. Outside I meet David’s friend Josh, who takes it upon himself to talk to me and even volunteer to escort me to the after-party. The other guys look kind of worried and walk a little bit ahead of us. When we get there, Josh says goodbye and gives me his raffle tickets. It ends up being me, Jeff, Joseph, short Justin, Mono, Robert, Daisy, Jeanette, Eric + his gf, and Luis as the crew. Justin and I have a friendly rivalry as we bowl. I get to know Daisy a little bit more and wait for my carpool to be done with his work. When Kenya gets there, we say goodbye, and everyone hugs, with Justin squeezing me for a long time and whispering to keep in touch that I don’t respond to. On the way home, we get lost trying to find an open Starbucks before Kenya loses his mind.

Post-AX, there were a lot of post-con depression feels since I ended up missing everyone hahah. I did get to hang out with Jeanette, Daisy, Joseph, and David once to get curry which was super fun, and Jordan, tall Justin, Joseph, David, Jeanette, and a few others messaged me for a good month before we both got lazy. I met a lot of good people, made a lot of good friends, bought a lot of sweet merch, learned some lessons, and enjoyed escorting. Overall, it was a really good time. I guess the biggest downside is the romantic aspect, but I guess that was just whats happens when you’re one of the only friendly, young girls in a dept. full of guys. It was nice getting free drinks tho. Tall Justin asked me out on a date over text, and when I said nah he tried to play it off like he didn’t mean to say date. Idk why Jordan messaged me after con, we didn’t really talk too much during. David still messages me and idk if it’s as friends or not. I guess the thing that I hated the most was that I couldn’t tell who was being a friend and who was hitting on me anymore. And it hurt a lot to know that people didn’t actually care who I was and only liked me because I was a young, fresh face that they thought they could teach, and then when it didn’t go well, they just stopped being friends. I came to make friends, and ofc I knew romance was a possibility, but everyone was essentially my co-worker, so why not try to get along even after the romance doesn’t work????? I just don’t get it. I’m quite thankful for Joseph tho, we ended up being pretty good friends and had some pretty interesting/deep convos. I just wish people were closer to hang out with. I’ll probably volunteer next year if nothing gets in my way as far as possible school/work. I really enjoyed the escorting, panels, and art I got to see tho!!!! I also just wish I had like even 1 friend to go with, ‘cause Ray ended up being p busy as well and our schedules didn’t always line up.

Hopefully next year is better, and I should def be more careful.

#i'm still a little satly about the events tbh #Steph volunteers at Ax #idk man like i was so disappointed that short justin gave up so fast???#like damn cant u focus on one girl #it did hurt and i cant believe i was jealous over an asshole like that????#BITTER AF #i bought so many charms but i didn't get the todoroki one cause he was too expensive and i cry #i got my boys luke deku bakugou and elliot nightray tho #plus hella prints!!!!#merch-wise im mostly happy except i regret the first poster i impulse bought #but thats just lessons learned #personal #if short justin volunteers next year #im gonna look so good that he wishes that he'd held on to me #just to spite him #long post #tldr

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