#titan casket
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"Anti-Hero" music video | October 21, 2022
Titan Casket 'Orion Series' - $1,199.00
Not the content I expected to post on my fashion blog but here we are.
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Honoring a Life Well-Lived: The Significance of Bronze, Titan, and Oversize Caskets
When it comes to bidding farewell to our loved ones, the choice of a casket is a deeply personal and meaningful decision. It not only serves as a final resting place but also reflects the unique life and personality of the departed. In this article, we explore the significance of three distinct types of caskets: Bronze caskets, Titan caskets, and Oversize caskets. Each of these options offers a distinct way to honor the memory of a loved one and create a lasting tribute.
Elegance and Endurance: Bronze casket are renowned for their timeless elegance and enduring quality. Crafted from solid bronze, these caskets exude a sense of sophistication and luxury. The durable nature of bronze ensures that it will stand the test of time, preserving the memory of the departed for generations to come. Bronze caskets are often chosen to reflect a life well-lived, showcasing the significance and impact the individual had on their loved ones and the world.
Strength and Majesty: Titan caskets are a symbol of strength and majesty. Made from high-quality steel, these caskets offer both durability and aesthetic appeal. The robust construction of Titan Caskets ensures the protection of the deceased and provides peace of mind to their grieving family. These caskets are often chosen to honor individuals who possessed unwavering strength, resilience, and a commanding presence throughout their lives.
Respecting Individuality: Oversize Caskets Every individual is unique, and for those who were larger in life, oversize caskets offer a respectful and comfortable option. These caskets are specially designed to accommodate individuals with larger builds, ensuring that they are laid to rest with dignity and without compromising on comfort. Oversize caskets are available in various materials and styles, allowing families to select a casket that not only fits their loved one's physical needs but also reflects their personality and preferences.
A Lasting Tribute: The choice of a casket is not merely a practical consideration but a way to honor and pay tribute to the life and legacy of a loved one. Whether selecting a Bronze, Titan, or Oversize casket, each choice carries its own symbolism and significance. These caskets provide a dignified final resting place and serve as a lasting tribute to the individual's unique journey, character, and contributions.
Conclusion:
In times of grief, selecting a casket becomes an important part of the funeral planning process. Bronze caskets embody elegance and endurance, symbolizing a life well-lived. Titan caskets represent strength and majesty, honoring those who exuded power and resilience. Oversize caskets ensure that individuals with larger builds are laid to rest with respect and comfort. Each of these casket options provides a way to honor the departed and create a lasting tribute that reflects their unique qualities. May the choice of a casket serve as a meaningful reminder of the love, respect, and admiration we hold for those we have lost, ensuring that their memory lives on in our hearts.
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I might write about this one day. Maybe. Probably.
Random things about y/n with the batfam
Based on First Post
Bruce Wayne
Bruce never knew how to deal with y/n’s emotional outbursts even before they drifted apart. Out of everyone y/n was hands down the most emotional out of all the kids. Like what he is supposed to do when she’s crying about stray cats that don’t have a home. Or those times when she’d tear up over failing a test.
Just gives her a pat on the back and tries saying that it's not the end of the world. Not really helping as it invalidates her emotions. She makes a mental note to not go to Bruce after getting the same “reassuring words” from him every time.
Nearly spat out his coffee when she called him Pa for the first time. It was only after a couple of months of living there. Seeing the shocked reaction, she quickly tried to take it back until he reassured her with a small smile.
“You won’t be my dad, but you can be my pa. So when I have kids you can be called peepaw.”
Bruce isn’t sure when y/n stopped calling him Pa, but he remembers how he felt hearing her call him Sir or Bruce. How unnatural it sounded. It was too formal, but what hurt the most was how she said it without a second thought. Acting like it was the norm.
What happened to him being Pa?
What does he have to do to get his Pa status back?
Hopefully he doesn’t learn that y/n gave that title to someone else.
Dick Grayson
Kinda regrets not getting to know y/n before he and the whole family start going off into the deep end. It's not like they never interact or anything. Dick had trained her when she was working toward becoming Batgirl, but it was Bruce who mainly trained her.
Dick wasn’t nearly as close to her as Tim or even Jason. He didn’t have the time when juggling the Teen Titans, establishing himself as Nightwing, and being a Wayne. It was a stressful time of his life.
But he has much more free time now. Meaning he has much more time to make up for not being a big brother for y/n.
Slightly jealous that everyone except for him and Damian know or at least knew y/n. Some more than others.
So to gain an edge he read her diary. Only once he swears and it wasn’t like he went searching for it or anything. Didn’t know she had one. It was just sitting there in a box under her bed. Anyone could have found it really.
Reading the neat handwriting and discovering the personality of y/n was interesting. Kinda expected something along the lines of teen angst constering how aloof she comes off when around the family. Instead he found words of an insecure yet optimistic girl.
Dick uses his newly acquired intel to make it easier for y/n to talk to him. Brings up media that she likes to bond over the “same” interests they have. Uses her insecurities against her.
If she gets mad at him for trying to plant the idea that her best friend was a bad person, he’ll act like she’s overrating. Say that she was yelling even if she wasn’t. When asking if there was any validity to his bullshit, he’ll bring up one of her insecurity.
“You’ve always been slow when it comes to everything, but good thing your favorite brother is always there for you.”
“Yeah, good thing I’ll always have Tim.”
“Yeah, wait-”
Jason Todd
They were somewhat close before he died as they trained and sparred with each other. He wished he was able to see her put on her suit for the first time as he knows how hard she worked for it. Could practically hear her squealing when she looked in the mirror.
Unlike the others, Jason avoided y/n on purpose. He felt ashamed for beating and having snapped her arm when he was trying to kill everyone. She wasn’t even fighting back. If it wasn’t for Bruce and Tim, y/n would have ended up in a casket.
When hearing that she quit being Batgirl, he was kind of surprised. He remembers the younger y/n trying so hard to meet Bruce’s expectations. Despite failing more than he could count, she always got back to work. Always trying to improve. Never being satisfied with herself.
Wanted to know what made her quit, but decided against it. It wasn’t his place to ask and he doubted that she’d tell him. It wasn’t like she told anyone though.
Was kinda glad that y/n quit. Jason always felt queasy when seeing or even thinking of her getting hurt since it reminds him of when he was so close to taking her life. And he always felt that she wasn’t made for this kind of work.
She was too soft to fight the Killer Croc or face Scarecrow. Even though Jason always felt that way, he’d never say it aloud. He couldn’t bring himself to dampen that twinkle in her eyes.
“I saw how hard you hit the punching bag, why are you holding back now?”
“I don’t know…I don’t want to hurt you or anything.”
“y/n, you're supposed to come at me with everything you got.”
“But I don’t like hurting you or anyone.”
Tim Drake
Tim and y/n were close even though it was a bit awkward at first. They geeked out about the latest games and shows. Staying up late enjoying whatever type entertainment with junk food much to the dismay of Bruce and Alfred.
y/n admired his intelligence and how patient he was when explaining something to her. Whether it was homework or something else entirely, he was the one she felt most comfortable asking for help from.
She was low-key jealous of how quickly Tim was able to gain the title of Robin while it took her years of training to become Batgirl. But the jealousy would later be admiration for a time.
Tim always felt privileged when y/n showed her artwork to him. She never likes showing it to anyone and hates when someone tries to look at what she was drawing. So when she asks for his attention and flips her notebook/tablet around he can't help smiling.
Even when they were on good terms, he wasn't sure how to approach her when going through a low. She either needed to be alone, talk, or push. The thing is Tim doesn't know how to appropriately react. He just doesn't want to make anything worse, so he ends up having her sit outside to absorb the sun rays. Since he noticed how that had brightened her low mood.
When y/n quit being Batgirl he gave her some space before asking about it. Surprisingly he didn't get much of an answer. She was usually so open about everything, especially with him.
Realizing that they were getting nowhere with this he backed off. Assuming that she'd tell him when she was ready.
Overtime they began hanging out less and less. He hadn't realized how far they drifted apart until one night. Just making a quick run to the kitchen for some coffee. It was pretty late and he didn't think any else was or would be awake.
Yet there was y/n sitting at the kitchen island writing on a paper with notes scattered around her. Homework. When Tim made his presence known with a simple hi, he noticed how…tense she got. Like she got caught stealing from the forbidden cookie jar.
When asking what she was working on, she gave short answers. He'd expected a monologue of how frustrating learning this new material is. Then asking if she needed help, he saw her jaw slightly clench. It looked like she was going to say more, but only declined with a no.
It was odd, but he didn't think too much of it at the time. He had…He didn't want to admit it, but he had more important things to deal with. If he knew of things that were going to happen, he would've done so much differently.
"— Really? I think this is my worst one yet."
"I don't know what you're talking about, it looks great. I couldn't ever draw something that good."
"Just because you can't draw doesn't make my drawing better. Wait, you were just shitting on me for comparing myself to others."
"Yeah, but that's different."
Damian Wayne/Al Ghul
Never liked y/n from the start. Before she even opened her mouth, just that smile looked so wrong. Damian couldn't put his finger on it, but didn't like it. It seemed so fake because it was.
There wasn't anything that made him feel like he needed to respect her like the others. Sure, she was Batgirl but only for a few years.
She never helped them with anything. She's never there to help in the first place. In his opinion she wasn't anything more than dead weight.
When insulted there was never an insult thrown back. He can tell when he struck a nerve when her lips move to the right and her eyes slightly harden. Maybe her nose will flare up if he hit hard enough.
Then she just responds with a hum before ignoring him or leaving the room. If she didn't respect herself enough to defend herself then why should he even bother with her.
When the family slowly/is yandere he'll reevaluate his view of y/n. Still thinks she's weak and cannot do anything, but less hateful. Which is a good thing until he's trying to have her attention whenever they're in the same room.
Or when he's digging through all her artwork while Dick is giggling to himself when reading her diary. Finding out their interest in the arts, he's forcing her to paint. Doesn't care if she doesn't like it, they're painting together.
"Why can't you carry your weight around the house? All you do is sit in your room."
"Hm."
"I don't even know why you're still here, Father should have kicked you out after you stopped being useful."
"Mhhm."
"I know you can hear me. You just don't know how to respond because it's true."
"Hmm."
|*|*|*|*|
Dear Diary,
Today my family tried to talk to me.
It was weird.
#batfamily#batfamily x batsis#batfamily x reader#yandere batfam#yandere x reader#I'll write it I swear#x reader#reader insert
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Soft as moss
In my first life
I thought I was indomitable,
Gnashed between concrete
Teeth, I cracked The Titan's molars;
Survived the
Spat out plummet
In fist-clenched
Heavenly descent,
Toward the endless midnight purple.
I fell. I flew. I roared
Toward the only redemption I knew,
Yet caught in cupped hands — Gaia's,
Soft as moss — that
Welcomed
Both my life and death,
I let myself be
Swallowed whole;
A genuflection, unfathomable, before.
And, yes, I lived there,
Contained, embraced,
And yes
I consumed,
Yet never more
Than I would need
Than from her stomach, grow and bloom,
To so return to the earthly
With eyes longing to see! To bleed
With my kin; to nurture and create.
Yet humanity has come to feel so strange;
Every city is an open casket,
And I am far from indomitable.
Rather, vulnerable;
Humbled.
---
19-3-2024, M.A. Tempels ©
#poetry#spilled ink#writing#spilled thoughts#poem#creative writing#writeblr#tumblr poetry#poets on tumblr#words#mother nature#modern society#alt lit
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And Take Away Its Pain: A Comparison of Masculinity, Trauma, and Queerness in Warcraft and Warframe
First, I want to shout out my friend Silriven at BluSky. (If any of you are mean to her I will Find You.) This thread she wrote recently reflecting on if/how she still likes Anduin as a character was what got me started writing this essay. She talks about the fandom response to Anduin, and the ways both the fandom and writers contradict themselves in discussing the character. The reason I wrote this essay is because I can think of another character and video game that work as a counterpoint to the way Anduin is portrayed.
Even before this specific thread, I made made a thread on BluSky comparing Warcraft and Warframe much earlier because both these games had major update reveals at around the same time. Not only that, but their content served as an interesting contrast between the different games' stories, and my own reactions to each.
The War Within[1] trailer and related announcements were revealed at Blizzcon 2023, around the same time as Digital Extremes, the developers of Warframe, held Tennocon 2023, which included a thirty minute demo of their next major story update, Whispers in the Walls.
For those unfamiliar with either/or World of Warcraft and Warframe, I’ll give a quick summary of the trailers.
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In TWW trailer trailer we see Anduin Wrynn sitting by himself in a desert. Anduin is a character the players have known for a long time, and last time we saw him he chose to disappear in response to a trauma he suffered in that expansion’s story. Here his face is dirty, he’s grown out a beard, and his hair is cut short. He has a vision of something that looks like a star calling his name. A second character appears, an orc named Thrall. The two talk; Thrall is calm while Anduin is angry and confrontational. They discuss the visions they’ve been having, how someone at “the heart of the world” is calling out to them. (Anybody who’s kept up with Warcaft's story even a little bit will know this voice is the Titan Azeroth, who lives inside the planet Azeroth.) When Thrall touches Anduin’s shoulder, Anduin has a brief flashback to when the ghost of his father touched his shoulder. Anduin draws his sword and declares “I’m not that person anymore! I have no Light! Not after what I’ve seen, not after what I’ve done!” Thrall replies “You are not your past, Anduin” and expresses his trust in Anduin, who struggles to not cry, and lowers his sword. Both of them experience a much stronger vision of the star calling for them, then Anduin accepts Thrall’s hand, and Anduin pledges to stand with him. They both express confusion at who could be calling out to them. (It’s Azeroth you dinguses!!!) The trailer ends with a cool shot of a giant sword sticking out of the desert, before switching to The War Within expansion logo.
Now, the Whispers In The Walls showcase was a full demo including gameplay, but to keep the comparison as fair as possible, I only talk about the opening three minutes [2]. You can see the whole showcase here.
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In the Whispers preview, we open with a cutscene. We start with some spooky eldritch speech, then we shift to someone the player will have heard of before, but never seen, Albrecht Entrati. Albrecht checks a beeping pager, and then an old computer, both out of place against the stylized sci-fi future setting of Warframe. He is followed by his feline companion. He gives his cat some pats, then he sits in a sci-fi casket, where his kitty also curls up. A second character, who we’ll learn later is named Loid, approaches Albrecht with his head bowed and eyes on the floor. Albrecht reaches up to Loid to touch his cheek, and wipes away a tear with his thumb. (Remember this moment, it's important for a point I'll make near the end of this essay.) Albrecht's dialogue is subtitled as (Quiet whispering). Then Albrecht lays down, and the casket closes. Loid raises a hammer as the casket makes loud sounds and lights flash, before he finally brings the hammer down to smash the casket. The screen cuts to black, then the gameplay starts.
Comparing these two teasers at the time, I thought about how Whispers was much more effective at building a story hook by creating mystery. Even if I limit myself to that opening cinematic, we have one character, Albrecht, who we’ve heard a great deal about and is important to the story, but we’ve yet to meet him in-person. The contrast of his 90’s tech and fashion against the more fantastical technology common to Warframe’s universe is stark and creates interesting questions. We’re introduced to this relationship Albrecht has with Loid. I don’t know who these people are or what their circumstances are, but I see genuine love and conflict. I’m already invested in learning more and seeing what happens to them. It’s a great hook! I actually rewatched that opening three minutes a few times while writing this because I have brainworms!
The TWW trailer is about creating a hook based on seeing where beloved characters are now, seeing what’s become of them when the player wasn’t looking. Azeroth the Titan is speaking to the main cast, which is clear to the audience familiar with the game but not the characters for unclear reasons. Anduin is still suffering, unable or unwilling to heal from his trauma. Thrall wants to him to come out of hiding. Anduin agrees to. That’s it. What’s the story hook here? Anduin seems to have gone nowhere in the years since he was last seen, and I have no sense of where his story (or Thrall’s, or Azeroth’s) might be going. I don't even know why Anduin changes his mind and chooses to help Thrall. What, just because there's another big threat to the world? The last one wasn't enough to bring you out of hiding? It’s just stuff happening, a general sense of vague Peril. I can't even get that excited about the shot of Sargeras' sword! Blizz should've thought to address that earlier, like, when the planet got stabbed! That was cool and exciting! Our planet got stabbed by Warcraft Satan! Then it's ignored for years until now, after people kept asking what was going to happen to it. The trailer tries to build a mystery about where the visions are coming from, but it's the Titan Azeroth, the players figured it out right away, there's no mystery. I don't have any reason to feel like the writers care about the story, setting, or characters. I’m left feeling nothing for any of it but a vague sense of disappointment.
Even more, the TWW trailer feels like it’s deliberately avoiding adding any details. Anduin talks about how he’s lost his Light, how he’s “not that person anymore” which is not a bad way to take his arc, but I can’t connect it to when Anduin was enslaved by the Jailer in Shadowlands. I know where his trauma comes from, but the trailer makes no effort to explain or expand on how those specific events affected him. I’m not even going to explain what any of that means to people unfamiliar with Warcraft because it doesn’t matter! In both dialogue and in visuals, the trailer gives little texture or meaning to what Anduin is feeling. In the Whispers trailer, I know Loid is sad, not just because Albrecht is leaving, but that he has to have a role in that departure. I don't know what happened to Albrecht at this point, but the emotional hook is there along with the questions about the story. I care because I believe these two characters are in love. Why should I care that Anduin feels he's lost his Light? I have no sense of what this loss means or feels like. I have no sense of what he's struggling with, or what he might face in the future.
Since those trailers were released, Warframe had its promised Whispers update, and I’ve played the full quest and leveled up the linked faction, which contained more story. While I know I’m being unfair comparing a trailer to a full release, I will continue to do so anyway because 1) I’m a bitter old faggot, and 2) the full story of Whispers makes the comparison between Loid/Whispers as a whole and Anduin/TWW even more interesting/saddening.
This is your warning that I’ll be spoiling the quest Whispers In The Walls. Eventually. I've got some foundation I want to lay first.
I found a tweet thread by Christie Golden, one of Warcraft’s major writers. She links a TIME article about a woman struggling to raise her son to be gentle and kind in a world that encourages anger and violence in men. Golden lists Anduin (among others) as an example of nontoxic masculinity in fictional media. In her replies she goes on to expand on her thoughts.
Here’s the tweet by Golden that stuck out to me: “Too often men and boys who gravitate to the gentler side are automatically perceived as being gay, whether they are or not. ALL men/boys should be able to display these qualities, just like all girls/women can be tough and fearless and athletic if that's who they are.”
What’s wrong with being perceived as gay, Golden?
To be fair, there is a point here about assuming someone’s sexuality based on their personality or behavior. That is nonsense, and assigning traits to someone based on an observer’s opinion isn’t good. I even agree that not all straight characters should be one thing and all gay characters should be another! The problem with Golden’s statement is the implicit bias, being “automatically perceived as being gay” is framed as something bad. Why shouldn’t straight men and boys look up to a gay character? Can they not see themselves in a queer character? Why?
This is another reason why the comparison between TWW and Whispers is so interesting, because Whispers is gay. Sure, there are people who will argue Loid and Albrecht weren’t in love, because no one explicitly says they were together, but if you’re paying attention that’s unneeded. Loid refers to Albrecht as “my Albrecht”, and later, in a diary entry, we hear Albrecht refer to Loid as “my Loid”. There's a moment in the quest where we watch a recording of Albrecht, and he says, “I need Loid to understand why I had to leave. Without him. Why I forced him to destroy the device after I had gone. And why I could never say the words he so needed to hear.”
If you listen to the codex entry “Albrecht’s Notes: The Aftermath” about what he went through after coming back injured from the Void, you get even more. Albrecht describes Loid as “crooning motherly” and how “Loid nursed me then” back to full health. His descriptions, and the voice acting, are entirely earnest. There is no sarcasm or veiled disdain as he describes Loid in these feminine terms. The affection Albrecht both received, and gave, was genuine.
“The agony bit deep, but it was clean. Blameless love bled up from me.
I had decided to live.”
Yes, yes, this section is partly for me to be snappy at the people in the Warframe community who insist Loid and Albrecht aren’t a couple. What I want to demonstrate here is mechanically how Warframe tells its audience these characters are in love without needing to spell it out. Why it’s reasonable (and valid) to interpret characters as queer even if they don’t list their labels on their bios, so to speak.
To bring this back to the character of Anduin Wrynn: while he’s never been officially portrayed as queer, his story, at least in its earliest years, very much was.
Though we don't see much of Anduin in-game early in Warcraft's life, his first story plays out in the supplementary comics and novels. There’s a conflict between who Anduin feels he is and who he is expected to be. He’s expected to become a warrior like his father, Varian, but Anduin finds wielding weapons difficult. He's unable to reach Varian's standards for who he should be. Instead, Anduin chooses to become a healer, in Warcraft terms he chooses the priest class, and focuses on spellcasting and support. At one point, as Anduin is about to leave home to go and train in healing magic, Varian reaches out and nearly breaks his son's arm in his attempt to force him to stay. Varian is horrified at what he's done, and Anduin leaves.
Anduin's story is literally about rejecting the traditional masculinity his father represents to pursue his own, alternative path. We see how the life Varian's lived, a warrior's life full of violence, has poisoned his relationship with his son, how his toxic masculinity was a destructive force. Varian’s story in parallel is learning to accept Anduin’s choice, and learning to understand that his son is still powerful and capable, even if he’s not “strong” in the way Varian himself is. In addition, Anduin is one of the few characters who objects to the war(craft) between the two player factions and wants to find peace between them. Anduin’s story was, in theme if not in content, very much a queer narrative! It's about challenging tradition and finding a path that's more true to who he is and what he believes in.
This was why I connected with the character of Anduin initially. I started playing Warcraft in late Wrath of the Lich King, after ICC came out. When I first met Anduin he had a default human child model, and he said and did basically nothing. Then Cataclysm was released, he got his own teenager model, and a whole questline to himself. Suddenly he was someone with agency, wants, and personality! And then Mists of Pandaria came out and Anduin got to be a major focus of an entire expansion!
Anduin was absent from the next expansion, but the one after, Legion, Anduin returned with an adult model, and his father dies during the story's prologue. While he didn’t get the same focus he did in Mists, in Legion Anduin still had a whole storyline about becoming king, accepting his new role, and making peace with his father's death. It's smaller than his role in Mists, but it's a storyline I enjoyed!
I’ve literally watched this character grow up in real time. It’s a powerful experience!
(Side note: there’s a lot that can be said about Anduin as a monarch, what kind of state head he is, how he treats his people, and is an aspect that largely goes unacknowledged in the canon story. I'll shout out Silriven again, this is a topic she's gone a good job of discussing before. I want to acknowledge this part of his character, but I consider it beyond the scope of this specific essay. I do think making him king, making him someone who extracts taxes and sends people to die in war, does have a major impact on his character, his masculinity, and how he processes trauma. However, talking about monarchy, even a fictional one, is its own topic and needs its own space to explore. It's something to keep in mind whenever discussing any major character in Warcraft who is also a major political leader.)
Through all this I would say I saw Anduin as queer. At no point does he express serious romantic interest in anyone, nor does he appear to be under any pressure to find a partner through either societal or political norms. The themes of his stories made me think he was gay, especially as the only other character he grows close to is another boy. Anduin was a comfort character for me.
This began to change in the expansion after Legion, Battle for Azeroth.
Anduin begins to wear a set of plate armor, looking more like his warrior father, and the role he once rejected, than the priest he chose to be. He leads his armies in a war that he used to be wholly against, a contradiction he never fully confronts. When he punches Wrathion, a childhood friend who reappeared in the last expansion patch, players responded with praise in real life. “Manduin” punched Wrathion, who Anduin claimed was responsible for his father’s death. Which he wasn’t, and can only be seen as responsible through a Five Degrees of Kevin Bacon type web. I'm not sure why Anduin says this, unless the writers wanted to either smear Wrathion or erase the history of friendship the two had previously. Or, maybe they didn't want to bring up any legitimate reasons Anduin might be angry at Wrathion, like abandoning him. If I had a nickel every time one person abandoned another to go on an ill-fated time travel adventure, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird it happened twice.
(Here's a tangent: Imagine if Albrecht ended up in alternate Draenor and/or Wrathion ended up in 1999. Those stories would've gone VERY differently.)
Since I’ve brought him up, it’s time to talk about Anduin and Wrathion.
This topic is. Divisive. In the Warcraft fandom.
Wranduin, the ship name, is something that appeared in fandom mid Mists when the two characters first met. Anduin was curious about who this Wrathion person was and set out to investigate. Long story short, their families had a long history of conflict, and Anduin had every reason to be suspicious and mistrustful of Wrathion. Was openly mistrustful of Wrathion. They continue to hang out together through the rest of the expansion.
This all leads up to a particular moment in the novel War Crimes, taking place after the main events of Mists of Pandaria. Anduin and Wrathion continue to spend time with each other in that book, playing games and discussing politics. When Anduin expresses how tired he is, Wrathion declares “I shall, if asked politely, take you on my back and ferry you to fascinating places, where we will have adventures that will age your father ten years in one night.”
I've never read any of the books myself, but I’ve seen this passage passed around online and it stands out to me. It feels genuine, two teenagers who are close friends but also bad at vulnerability and Feelings, making a connection and finding comfort in each other. I’m not even asking anyone to see a romantic angle to this, just to understand the emotions of the moment. It feels specific to them.
I was in the Warcraft fandom during Mists, I thought their relationship was interesting, and it could make for an interesting romance. Despite ideological differences, they were very much kindred spirits. People born into power who’ve also suffered immense loss of agency. Both were forced to grow up quickly, had their lives endangered at young ages, and both want to protect the world they live in, even if that means different things to both of them. That tension, the clash between their ideals and their personalities, the potential for connection and division both, was what made their relationship so interesting.
Then Wrathion disappeared for several expansions, came back in BofA, and the first thing that happens is Anduin punches him in the face. We never see them in a scene together after this moment ends.
It's worth noting that while Wrathion isn't human (he's a dragon in disguise) his humanoid form makes him one of the very few non-white characters in the main cast. They reintroduce him by having a white man, who was once a friend, punch him in the face. This is an action Anduin has never apologized to Wrathion for.
There’s another Warframe character I want to talk about briefly: Ticker. She’s a trans woman.
She's been in the game much longer than Loid and Albrecht, but like them, her identity is never explicitly stated, but at the same time it's unambiguous. She has a deeper, more masculine voice, has a masculine appearance (Old Mate rank spoilers, but if you know you know) while her body language is very feminine and she uses exclusively feminine pronouns and terms for herself. One her voice lines when you speak with her is “A person gets told a lot of things over the course of a life. Who they are. Who they should be. Amateurs, lecturing a professional.”
She is a trans woman, she has some of the best lines in the game, and I love her.
My greatest disappointment with Ticker is that she isn’t involved in the greater storyline associated with her zone. We do meet other good characters (Eudico in particular is a lady character I adore) but Ticker’s exclusion sticks out to me. Sure, one could point to Smokefinger as also being largely absent, but Ticker’s role in the story is to help pay off people’s debts so they don’t suffer more than they have to. This is something she has to do in secret (to her boss’s boss, not to the player natch) or risk facing harsh punishment herself. This could tie directly into the area’s larger story about a workers' union violently revolting against its hyper-capitalist overlords. Why isn’t she in Vox Solaris DE??? By the way, the player sides with the union.
(Side note: Blizzard is an American studio, while Digital Extremes is Canadian. I can feel a potential discussion of these two countries, labor unions, and these two games, but like the point about monarchy in Warcraft, that needs its own space. There's definitely things to talk about, but I'd need to do real research before I could begin to approach it.)
So looking at Ticker, then looking at Whispers, this update shows growth to me. Warframe is showing two men in love[3], both characters and their identities are treated with respect by the narrative and other characters. Yes, this isn’t the same as depicting a canonical trans woman, but I’m inclined to be patient and kind when I sense that creator(s) are earnest about portraying experiences that aren’t theirs. We all have internal biases we need to uproot, it’s a journey that will last our whole lives, and one that will inevitably end incomplete. We can all and always learn to improve our art, as well as our compassion and understanding of other people. For me, forgiveness for earlier depictions that were poor or problematic is easy when I believe the creator(s) are making a sincere effort. We all make mistakes, and we all grow. Hopefully DE will add another canonical trans person to their game who will have a bigger role.
I’m hammering this point home because I have never felt this level of sincere effort from Blizzard.
I know I’m comparing an middle-ish game studio to a massive AAA company, and I do not care. Whether it’s because of the writers’ cowardice or a producer’s mandate, Warcraft takes only small steps to be inclusive, while Warframe is genuinely trying. (DE also updated skin shaders specifically so darker tones would look nicer in their new lighting system!) It's things like this that make Golden's talk about Anduin being an example of nontoxic masculinity ring hollow. Only one of these games seems willing to engage with marginalized stories, with people who live outside of the strict roles we're assigned. The concept of "nontoxic masculinity" cannot exist if one is unwilling to engage with queerness. Allowing men to embrace more gentle behaviors also means not shaming anyone for being gay. Allowing men to do and be things that aren't the pinnacle of traditional masculinity means understanding and embracing that men can and will engage in more feminine behaviors or roles, and this doesn't diminish their gender identity. These concepts are linked.
(I know this is a very binary way of framing these concepts, but let me tell you, Blizz is NOT ready for that discussion.)
Warcraft has added gay characters or made some existing characters gay, but never anybody in the main cast, nothing that would get a major spotlight. Anduin could’ve been an easy solve for this, whether he started a relationship with Wrathion or someone else, it doesn’t matter! Having a major character in a game as large as World of Warcraft would've meant so much. Instead they hide their queer characters in secondary roles, in supplementary media, and made them into easter eggs in the game. Never major characters, never the focus of the story. Nothing they would, for example, show off at a major convention in 2023.
Moving away from talking about queerness for a moment, something that struck me watching the Whispers demo again is that DE isn't afraid to make their new character flawed. I don't want to say unlikable necessarily, because I did like Loid right away, but he's also rude to the established character traveling with us ("Resume your duties, construct!) and then dismissive of the player. He's supposed to wait for an "operator" to arrive at the labs, and thinks it's obviously not the player. By the end of the quest (which I'll talk about in a moment because yes it's relevant) Loid comes to accept that the player is the one he's meant to work with. When you level up the related faction in the full release, Loid eventually tells the player that his role was to care for Albrecht, and it would be his honor to extend that same service to the player. This arc is sweet and feels earned because Loid started so abrasive, the writers weren't afraid to make him abrasive, and even by the end I wouldn't say he's flawless. In fact, in the next update, Dante Unbound, DE has hinted that Loid will have to confront the established character he was rude to in Whispers. Loid feels like a person who's going through shit, in the way that people go through shit. Not with grace, but trying his best anyway.
I bring this up because one of the long standing issues with Anduin as a character, which has gotten worse as time goes on, is the unwillingness to give Anduin flaws. I wonder if this connects back to the point about the lack of specificity about his feelings or experiences in TWW trailer, why Thrall's simple "You are not your past" feels so strange, and why the trailer seems reluctant to acknowledge Anduin's anger as a problem. Anduin has, for a while, been positioned as a moral core for the game, the character who is primarily interested in peace for unselfish reasons. Part of the reason I enjoyed Anduin as a character in Mists was because, sometimes, he got to act like a shitty teenager. He'd be sarcastic or smarmy or do something objectively dumb, like run off to fight a major enemy of his nation on his own. This is especially true when interacting with Wrathion, which includes Anduin using the taunt "You're what, two years old?" To which Wrathion replies "Two in DRAGON years." It's very endearing! Look at these brats, they're believable teenage friends to me. Yes, Anduin is one of the few peace-seekers in the story, he tries so hard to be good and kind even to his enemies, but in moments like these he still feels like a person.
We could look at TWW and say Anduin is demonstrating anger issues, which would be interesting because, like in the example of almost breaking Anduin's arm, this was something Varian struggled with. Except it doesn't feel like the trailer recognizes this as a flaw. The moment goes by and is quickly forgotten. I can look at Loid in Whispers and I recognize where his bitterness comes from: he felt abandoned and so pushes others away. The one detail I did like in TWW trailer was the comparison between Thrall touching Anduin's shoulder, and Varian's ghost doing the same in the past. That moment felt like a trigger for Anduin, reminding him of that moment when he was so vulnerable, but also of his grief for his father. (Nevermind we had that story in Legion about Anduin coming to terms with his grief. Let's ignore that.) It's the most sincere moment of the trailer, but it doesn't follow through! As soon as the second vision dissipates, Anduin takes Thrall's hand and pledges to help. Why? Again, "because there's another big cosmic threat" isn't a good enough reason. What does he feel in this moment? Why did he change his mind now?
Nontoxic masculinity doesn't mean "flawless person". I would still say Loid is a good example of nontoxic masculinity, regardless of if or when he does engage in more toxic behaviors. I'd say as a character Loid is a better demonstration than Anduin of nontoxic masculinity because he's capable of self-reflection, realizing he did something bad, and correcting himself. One interpretation of events in the story of Whispers (because much of Warframe is open to interpretation) is that the local eldritch horror was feeding off of Loid's resentment towards Albrecht, and this was fueling its assault on the labs. Only in reminding Loid of Albrecht's feelings for him, specifically in a way Loid had been deliberately avoiding, can the player begin to take down the bad guy of the quest.
This is a great time to move to my last point about Whispers’ full story: the ending.
I know we can talk about ludonarrative dissonance about two games where the player regularly enacts mass murder and trying to square that with certain story themes. Listen. Hear me out.
In Warcraft, the solution to the final boss is always kill them. (Or arrest them in the case of Garrosh in Mists. In truth this was only a stay of execution). Part of this is the limit of always putting an expansion’s conclusion in a raid. There always needs to be a big fight in a specific kind of setting with specific player expectations. I wish Blizz played with this more; maybe we can only seal away the bad thing? Or maybe the goal is to hold something off while an NPC does a magical ritual that saves the day by some other method? I’m sure there are possible, creative solutions other than “hit bad guy (or his toes if he’s big) until bad guy falls over”.
How does the player save the day in Whispers in the Walls? I’m going to cover this in detail because it’s one of my favorite moments in the whole game.
You spend much of the quest fighting off The Murmur, constructs summoned by the local eldritch horror, called the Indifference (among many other names[4]) which is trying to break into the labs the quest takes place in. The final encounter, the story's climax, has the Indifference possesses a Vessel, one of many unfinished biomechanical giants Albrecht created and left scattered around his lab. The evil Vessel moves in to attack the player, who then possesses a Vessel themself.
The player’s Vessel holds up a hand, and we see a button prompt.
I'm stealing a point from another Tumblr user because it's great. Go read their post and the replies if you're curious about this particular moment!
This button prompt isn’t unusual. There aren’t many quick time events in Warframe, they're not a part of regular run and gun gameplay, but they do appear. If you’re like me, you’ve gone into the accessibility options and toggled button mashing off because wrists hurt. This prompt isn’t unusual to see for me.
But if you didn't use that accessibility toggle, you'll still get this specific prompt. It will be unusual that you're being asked to hold to interact with the scene, rather than the usual smash a button to make thing happen.
So you hold the button, the player’s Vessel reaches out, and when I first played I got excited because I think I’m powering up a big blast to destroy the enemy Vessel!
Then this happens:
youtube
I encourage everyone who can to watch the video for the full effect, but I’ll still describe it here:
The background music is ominous, and as you hold the button there's a heartbeat sound. The player's Vessel slowly reaches toward the enemy Vessel. When then the prompt button disappears, the scene goes quiet. The player Vessel gently holds the enemy Vessel's face, mirroring how Albrecht did to Loid at the beginning of the quest. As the music changes to a calming vocal track, we see the enemy Vessel's face change, drop from aggressive to lonely longing. The camera backs away as the two Vessels slow to a stop, posed to echo that "memory of love". The camera switches to Loid, who holds a hand to his own cheek, then looks back at the Vessels. He understands the connection too.
This kind of thing isn’t unheard of for Warframe either! I'll keep additional spoilers to a minimum, but a previous main story quest, The Sacrifice, has similar themes. In fact, my favorite moment from that quest involves a monologue by a major villain about how he is literally unable to comprehend the idea of empathy or compassion. He doesn’t understand why the player character, in a moment of vulnerability and understanding, is able to do what he couldn’t, with all of his violence and brutality.
“And it was not their force of will - not their Void devilry - not their alien darkness. It was something else. It was that somehow, from within the derelict-horror, they had learned a way to see inside an ugly, broken thing —
— and take away its pain.” [5]
In a story where the primary antagonist is a mysterious entity called “The Indifference” we don’t defeat it with force. With hate. What’s the opposite of Indifference?
It’s old man yaoi love. We defeat Indifference with love.
I don’t feel like I was cheated out of a cool moment. I suspect some people did. It’s not like Whispers didn’t have cool moments! I’m not even going to argue that this moment was uncool, just that it brought up different and unexpected emotions in me! It was an interesting and affecting twist on how we expect these encounters to go. It’s moments like these that tell me that Warframe's writers, for all their flaws, are putting genuine thought and emotion into their game. They’re thinking about characters and themes, trying to follow them through even with the scattershot way that video game design demands writers work.
Writing this description reminds me of a moment in Shadowlands, the expansion that traumatized Anduin. It takes place in (surprise!) the Shadowlands, the afterlife of Warcraft’s universe. Thrall, the second character we see in the TWW trailer, meets his mother in Shadowlands. She died when he was a baby, and now that he meets her in these weird circumstances, they begin to create the bond they couldn’t have before. In particular I found this conversation they have touching. A mother who didn't get to know her son, and a son who never knew his mother, finally get to connect. “I knew who you were the moment I saw you,” Draka tells him, “Do you really think I would not recognize Durotan's eyes?"
“Come, I wish to know more of your life, all of it,” she says to him, sounding tired.
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It’s such a sweet moment, and bonus points for focusing on Draka, a woman who was functionally fridged prior, who now gets to be a character with personality and (some) agency in Shadowlands. It’s such a perfect demonstration of everything that could’ve been interesting in Shadowlands, what was and is interesting in Warcraft’s story, and what’s so often set aside or overlooked. Can they continue to have a relationship when the current conflict is over? Questions like this are interesting, but Shadowlands doesn’t engage with them at all, and it's poorer for it.
In Warcraft, trauma is aesthetic. Pain is aesthetic. It doesn’t matter what caused Anduin’s suffering in TWW trailer, all that’s important is that we know he’s suffering. We know he's important because he’s a main character and he’s sad about something. But, like, not sad in a way that would make him cry. That part is critical because we all know boys don't cry, right? That bias feels implicit in much of Warcraft's emotional moments. How much more touching would Thrall and Draka's reunion be if Thrall was allowed to cry at finally getting to meet his mom?
Loid does cry, at the beginning of Whispers' quest and during the story of the faction associated with the update. His emotions, and thus his story, feel more genuine and engaging for allowing him that vulnerability.
Warframe wants to engage with specific traumas, how they can make us bitter towards others, perpetuate our own and others’ pain. The point of pain is to understand it, because in understanding, that pain can be taken away. Warcraft has no interest in taking away pain, and it has no interest in understanding it. It’s not about emotional connection, because that requires a vulnerability and a capacity to self-reflect that Warcraft has no interest or courage to engage with. Pain is aesthetic.
Whispers is setting up a longer story arc for Warframe. At the time Whispers was revealed, Warframe was celebrating its 10th anniversary, and the previous main story quest wrapped up the storyline the game told from its release. In this way, Whispers is again an interesting comparison to Warcraft’s The War Within. TWW is also meant to be the start of a new story arc that will last several expansions. I know which story I’m excited about, and which one I feel nothing for.
Loid was a character I met for the first time last year, he immediately felt like a person, and I was emotionally invested. As a player I so badly want Albrecht to finally say the words Loid needed to hear. Anduin Wrynn is someone I’ve known for years, but is now a cardboard cutout. I don't feel compelled to follow his story because... what could it be? Warcraft doesn't seem interested in any conclusion or goal for him. He just is.
I have a lot of complicated emotions about World of Warcraft, as a game and as an influential piece of media. I played the game for many years, and it was an important part of my life. In many ways I’d say it's still a part of me, even after I stopped playing the game itself. Part of writing this essay was following up on some thoughts I shared with friends on BluSky, but part of it feels like exorcising a demon, or bleeding out poison. Part of me grieves for Warcraft, what it meant to me and what I thought it could have been. In Warframe though, I've found a place of comfort and compassion. In between all the space ninja nonsense and vast quantities of horrific violence the player commits, Warframe offers growth, and a way to let go of what hurts us.
—
I'll take a moment and shout out an excellent video essay by Shaun on Youtube called Andrew Tate: How to be a Real Man. It's a great resource for a more general discussion of masculinity in the real world. The video is a criticism of Tate and his approach, why it appeals to some men, and further dissects what masculinity means, and what nontoxic masculinity means. (Is it an inbox full of pictures of Aragorn?) It's a good dissection of masculinity as a concept, and one I'd recommend if you're curious about the topic of toxic/nontoxic or negative/positive masculinity.
—
Yes not only do I have my paragraph long asides I've now also added footnotes. This isn't a peer reviewed journal, you're not my mom, I do what I want!
[1] One of Warframe’s major quests is also called “The War Within” which might be confusing to a reader who knows Warframe. Don’t worry about it, I’m talking exclusively about the upcoming Warcraft expansion here.
[2] For bonus points, if you haven't played Warframe, go to 20:55 on the demo video. You'll see a logo and release date for Whispers In The Walls, hear the live crowd cheer, and the creative director will start to speak... until she's interrupted by something in the game. What you see and hear next is almost exactly as it is in the final release, including the music, minus an extra line of exposition from Loid. This wasn't just a stunt for the convention. I fucking LOVE Warframe.
[3] To be honest this is part of a personal measurement I use to gauge how queer friendly a work is: if they have queer women do they also have queer men? A good example of why I use this is Mass Effect. That franchise always had queer women and an option for lesbian romance, but only in Mass Effect 3 did they add one (1) queer option for a masculine Shepherd. I am a (nonbinary) lesbian so on the one hand I don’t want to dismiss all queer women in media as “pandering” and queer men as “valid”. It’s more of a guideline to estimate how willing a piece of media/creator is to transgress heterosexual norms. Depicting men who love men is seen as more transgressive than two women in love by the gaming community at large. The reasons for this are complicated and they all suck.
[4] hey kiddo
[5] I wanted to avoid spoilers for other Warframe story quests, but The Sacrifice is, again, an interesting point of comparison for Anduin's story. The Sacrifice is, largely, about a character coming to terms with his grief over the death of his son. If you see the whole video I link there, you'll see the player presented with three options: Wrath (We use this memory. It fuels our wrath), Acceptance (We accept this memory and move beyond its reach), and Emptiness (We return this memory to the Void and find peace in our emptiness.) I just wish Anduin's grief over Varian was, at any point, treated with this level of nuance and care.
#kay writes things#warframe#warcraft#anduin wrynn#loid#i'm a little hesitant to tag this#since i could get some real negative attention based on what i've discussed#and the nastier parts of both fandoms#whatever i wrote thousands of words i'll share it#for me and my friends and i guess the rest of you can read it too
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Petrichor [8]
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)
Words: 12,980
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, blood, violence, mentions of canon violence, reader goes a little off the rails, a whole lot of arguing, description of drowning (it's a metaphor), mentions of death lol, mentions of canon decapitation (I mean Jason did do that), one of Dick's thoughts is inspired by him killing the Joker in Joker: Last Laugh because I mean hey, I promise I do fix everyone's dynamics with Bruce later I like when the entire batfam gets along, mentions of canon drug use and making a drug
Summary:❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you.
Orestes: It’s rotten work.
Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞
Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.
A/N: It's long again but it's important lmao Jason is in this chapter, just hang in there lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
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The not-to-so funeral, funeral, is mostly a blur. For obvious reasons, the casket was closed the whole time. To you, it didn’t matter. You saw him. You saw him before and you saw him after. His mangled face stares back at you in the mirror. You didn’t need to see him like that again.
Bruce has the funeral within a day and a half, not informing any of the Titans or anyone. Molly only came because you knew and she came time to get there. You want to fight and scream about it but at this point, you're too exhausted. And you're so numb. And in pain, you're numb and in pain which doesn’t make any sense but everything hurts while you feel nothing at all. It’s like drowning but without the panic.
Your head throbs and that’s always the start. Pressure builds as you try to hold your breath because letting in the loss of Jason seems to be the worst possible thing you could ever do. With every breath you take, that’s less he got to take. Your head bangs and throbs, wailing for you to breathe and let the pain in for just a second. And once you do, it’s water rushing into your lungs with a single gasp.
Drowning is suffocating and agonizing. It’s as if your lungs are being stabbed over and over with tiny needles with every breath you try to take. Your lungs are filled with cement and stabbing, weighing you down with every desperate gasp. The water sloshes around, seeping into all of your open nerves with striking electricity. It’s the worst pain of your entire life.
You don’t care anymore. It’s hard and it’s like these are the longest days of your life. There’s just pain and numbness and anger. That’s all there is now. So, you only come out of her room for the bathroom and to watch Jason’s casket be lowered into the ground. You don’t leave your bed or say a word to Bruce for the first two days.
By day three, some of the sadness and exhaustion has manifested into more anger. It's all anger at the world and Bruce and the Joker and yourself. You're even, selfishly, a little bit mad at Jason even though you don't want to be. But, the anger builds until you can't sit still anymore and you set a plan into action.
You warned Bruce. You told him the Joker's death was inevitable. You'd do it if the Joker ever touched someone you cared about, if he ever touched Jason. Jason is dead and as far as you're concerned, your loyalty to Bruce and his morals died with him. So, you start a plan to break into Arkham and kill him yourself.
You wait until Bruce is asleep before you sneak into the Batcave and start your research. The Joker doesn’t get to just get away this time. He killed your mom. And now he killed Jason. You're fed the fuck up with Bruce letting him off. So, you plan and plot and look at blueprints of Arkham, trying to figure out how you can get in, kill him, and get out.
Jason always told you the grudges might help, something you find odd given him not being a grudge holder. But, being mad and wanting revenge against the Joker, is a lot better than dealing with the pain of losing him. So, you plan and plan until the late morning.
Dick and Gar show up that afternoon from San Francisco. Bruce told them you haven't left your room or eaten anything since Jason died. Dick is the one that tries to get to you first, figuring maybe he can break a little bit of the ice like when he brought you back to the tower.
He knocks on your door despite Bruce saying you won’t answer or come out. But Dick tries anyway and when he doesn’t get an answer, he opens the door anyway. You were once in his care. Jason was once in his care.
“Hey, you awake?” Dick asks, sticking his hands in his pockets as your back is faced away from him, laying on your side in one of Jason's favorite hoodies.
You ignore him, keeping your stare at the wall. Talking seems like it will be too much. It'll be him saying he's sorry for your loss and then you'll start crying again. It'll be him giving you a look and you hate getting looks. It's not Dick's fault. You're not mad at him, you can't afford to waste your energy being mad at him when it's already torn between grief-filled revenge and sobbing uncontrollably. The best thing you can do for yourself is ignore him. To ignore everyone. It's to push them away.
“Bruce said you haven’t been eating or leaving your room.” Dick walks further into your room, moving to get a look at you and he can see you're awake now but you don’t look at him. “You need to eat.” Dick states but you still won’t look at him. “I know it’s…hard. I know Jason meant a lot to you. You two went through a lot together. But, he wouldn’t want you to live like this.”
Dick says that on purpose, thinking maybe it’ll get a rise out of you. Maybe you’d say something like he wouldn’t know because he never knew Jason or he didn’t care enough about Jason to know what he would want. But you say nothing, you don’t look at him, and you don’t move. Dick would think you were dead if it were for the blankets moving with every breath you take.
“Okay, well, I’ll be down the hall. Gar is here and the other Titans will be here in a few days. You can come talk if you want.” Dick offers but again, nothing from you so Dick leaves you to yourself.
The tears come back as soon as you hear the door close. The weight in your chest is so heavy you can’t even bear it. You don’t know how. Things get heavy, you put it on Jason. Jason was so good at carrying your weight for you and now he’s gone. And you have no idea how you're ever supposed to carry the weight of losing him. You shouldn’t have to.
It’s not fair. It was senseless and cruel and brutal. And you think he must have been scared in his final moments. You wonder if he knew you’d be looking for him, maybe he thought you’d come to save him like you always did. But you let him down. A sob rips through your throat at the very thought and you can’t do it.
Gar tries again a few hours later. He’s going through it, too. It’s different with Dick. Dick got to know Jason better over the last few months but he didn’t know him like Gar did. They were best friends and they talked everyday. He’s the best friend Gar ever had and he’s going through the loss of it, too. But, a part of him is worried he’s going to lose you with him.
But, similar to Dick, you don't say anything and you feel bad about it even. You know it hurts him, too. They were best friends but it's too damn hard to look at him. You know, to some extent, Jason's blood is also on your hands. How are you supposed to tell Gar that? You can't and you swear you do not deserve the empathy that radiates from Gar. So, you ignore him only for him to sit with you anyway and turn on one of your mutually favorite movies.
Gar doesn't give up and you don't have to talk but he knows being alone in grief is not going to do you any good. Sitting with you is something he can do and if you decide still, not to talk, that's fine. But, he wants to be here just in case you do. And about halfway through the movie, you finally cave and turn around to face him with tear-stained cheeks.
"I know." Gar nods softly. "I miss him, too." Gar says softly.
You let out a sob, slamming your eyes shut. Gar reaches over and pulls you into a hug. The two of you break into each other’s arms. How are you supposed to figure out how to live your lives without him in them anymore? You’ve done it with your parents and Donna. You have done it and you can do it again but how? It’s so damn hard and it just keeps happening. You both keep losing people. How much loss can two people even take before it all becomes too much? You swears this is it. This is too much. Jason Todd was the last straw. You're tired of the circle.
Molly comes by the next day. You haven't been answering her texts or calls which isn't surprising. Molly decided to give you a couple of days to be alone before stopping by again. She needed those couple of days to gather herself, too. Jason was her best friend, too. but, Molly has something interesting to tell you and she hopes, given finding out about the vigilante life, maybe it'll get you to at least get out of bed.
"Hey." Molly calls and you wave your arm haphazardly at her from your bed. "I have something you might wanna know." Molly comes and plops down beside you.
You turn around slowly, eyes narrowing at her. You don't say anything, however, you decide just to listen. A really big part of you wants to push Molly away, too. It seems safer that way. But, it also seems cruel to do it again. You did it once and it was always something you regretted.
"Has Dick or Bruce mentioned the new crime lord?" Molly asks and you raise a brow. Molly asked around about him a little bit and that's what he's being referred to apparently. "Well, two nights ago, he showed up at my apartment with Diego."
"What?" You question immediately, your voice cracked and rugged.
"Yeah, he just showed up with him. He told me to get better locks?" Molly shakes her head. "I have no idea but Diego was fine."
"How would he even know about Diego and you?" You ask and Molly was right, it does pique your interest a little bit. You haven't heard anything about the new guy but it is interesting. New crime lord shows up and he drops off a missing kid unharmed? That shit is weird, even for Gotham.
"I have no idea. But, he seemed...familiar, I think but also really intimidating." Molly shakes her head. "I don't know but I thought you'd wanna know. Did you want to look into him for me?" Molly asks casually and hopefully.
You see through it. You know what Molly is trying to do and maybe it'll work a little bit. You're already looking into how you can get away with killing the Joker. You could squeeze this guy into it. Maybe it'll be a good distraction from the stabbing and suffocating pain of grief. You always did like to run from things that hurt. This is an opportunity to do just that and for a good cause. He knows where Molly lives and that's a problem.
"Are you just trying to get me out of bed?"
"A little bit." Molly laughs softly. "Jason would go after him, or look into him."
You let out a scoff. "Yeah, probably." You roll your eyes. "Fine, but only because he showed up at your fucking apartment and that's weird as fuck. You do need better locks though."
"Yeah, I'll get to that." Molly quips back.
"Still have a Wayne credit card, want it to buy better locks?" You offer.
"You just wanna spite Bruce."
"And make sure you're safe. Sick of losing people."
"At least you're talking." Molly smiles widely.
"Yeah." You answer shortly.
That night, after everyone has gone into their rooms for the night, you go back to the Batcave and continue planning. But, on top of that, you do what you promised Molly. You start looking into the new so-called crime lord. He showed up at her apartment. That's reason enough for concern and you aren't about to lose another person. And of course, Bruce already has a file on him.
According to the file, he's already decapitated six men of the major drug families in Gotham. You give the screen a grimace reading the words and then going to autopsy reports. Decapitation is a personal way of murder. That seems weird for someone willing to drop off a kidnapped kid but you just keep reading over everything. You find out he also killed Pete Hawkins, this time with a bullet to the head which explains how he found Diego. But, you still find that confusing as you go back to Pete Hawkins' file.
He was just working with the Joker, not other families. Why the hell would the guy target scum like Pete Hawkins when he's going after the families? Going after the families means going after the drug trade in Gotham, not whatever weird shit the Joker had planned with kids. This whole thing is weird and if you were being honest, a little annoying. The Joker was just the first part of your plan.
The next step is men like Pete Hawkins, people working with the Joker. The new guy managed to already beat you to the punch and you find that to be annoying. There are others though, at least, and you can still target them as long as this guy doesn't. You're done with the way this city chews and eats the innocent. Bruce's ways clearly don't work enough. So, you continue your research spread across the new guy and the best way to get into Arkham.
The following night, Barbara comes over to have a drink with Bruce and Dick. Dick convinced her to come talk to Bruce. You can hear them from your room. They're laughing and you don't know how they even managed to get a laugh out. But, it piques your curiosity. Gar told you earlier that he's worried Dick might have you committed if you don't get up and try. This seems like an excuse enough to make an appearance, if for no other reason, than to just listen. They're talking about Jason.
"So, then, Jason corners Mad Hatter and he starts swearing at him like going off." Barbara says and you stop just before the entrance of the room to listen to the story. You lean against the wall, sucking in a breath. "Like 'you short fucking hat-wearing fuck' fuck you'. And Hatter stands there stunned that Robin's cussing him out. And then Bruce came in and do you remember what you said to Jason?" Barbara laughs.
"What?" Dick asks.
"Watch your language." Bruce says.
You gain a soft smile because that sounds like Jason. He'd tell anyone off. He didn't give a fuck who they were. You wish you could have seen the look on Hatter's face. But the smile falls short as Bruce brings up the GCPD finding eight bodies, clearly the new guy that showed up at Molly's apartment. He asks if they know who the killer is and this is why you can't stand him.
He never fucking stops. Jason is barely in the ground and he just keeps fucking moving. At least you're looking for revenge and looking into someone who might be a threat to Molly. Bruce is just doing it because it's Bruce. Not because he actually cares about Jason or the people this guy is gonna hurt. And he has the audacity to call what's going on in Gotham a war. for the soul of the city. You almost walk away but Barbara starts talking and you always liked her.
"I don't know, Bruce. Calling it a war feels like trying to justify all the lives that've been lost."
"I don't know, Bruce. Calling it a war feels like trying to justify all the lives that've been lost."
"Your father and I knew protecting Gotham required real sacrifice."
You nearly scream. He doesn't fucking get it. Innocent people shouldn't have to be sacrificed for a city. That isn't justice and you want to sit down and question his morals right to his face. Innocent people being sacrificed by Bruce and the GCPD is fine, but killing people like the damn Joker isn't justice? The logic doesn't add up and it's like some sick-ass game Bruce is playing here. But with people's lives. Maybe he can't kill them because he's too similar to the bad guys he lets live.
"My father died from a heart attack after being frozen in a block of ice by a man wearing a fucking refrigerator suit." Venom seeps into Barabara's voice.
"Mr. Freeze." Bruce corrects and you nearly bang your head against the wall.
"I know who he is." Barbara snaps back and there's a pause for a few seconds. "That's how you see my father, isn't it? As a sacrifice? You dragged him into this insanity. Just like you did Dick and Jason. And now y/n."
"It was a long time ago." Dick finally chimes in and you want to know how Dick doesn't see that Bruce has manipulated him so damn bad it's almost Stockholm syndrome.
"You know what he did to you, Dick. You almost lost yourself because Bruce weaponized your grief." Barabara says. "And Jason? You took another kid who was lost and angry and alone and convinced him that he'd be invincible if he put on a mask. No more Robins, Bruce. I chose to put the cowl on to go out there as Batgirl when the Joker shot me. That wasn't your fault. But you drove Dick away."
"We worked it out." Dick defends Bruce again.
You roll your eyes and you want to put him under a microscope and figure out exactly why he defends him so much. Apparently, his loyalty is deep but Bruce keeps Dick in the dark. And you know a little secret that might change that. Dick warned you about Bruce. You know he doesn't fully forgive him or trust him. And you're going to make sure it stays that way. You're all sacrifices to the city anyway, right?
"Whether you've forgiven him or not, he drove you away. And he put Jason in the ground. You would think that after everything that the Joker's done to so many people you would have found a way to keep him locked up. But part of me, a big part of me, believes that you want him to escape. So, you can keep hiding from yourself behind that mask. You're as crazy as the fucking Joker." Barbara spits and you smile. She's right and someone should have said it a long time ago.
The room falls silent and you think now is a good time to make yourself known. You agree with Barabra but there are some things you have to say and some things they need to hear, too.
"It's true." Your voice is groggy and cracked as you stand in the doorway, the entire room putting their eyes on you. "Babs is right." You glance to her and offer a nod.
"You're up." Dick's face softens.
"Yeah, heard you guys laughing. Heard the Hatter story. But, let's not get our hopes up here, Dickolas. She's fucking right, it's your fucking fault Jason's dead." You turn your attention to Bruce. "I told you."
"What do you mean you told him?" Dick questions, looking between the two of you.
"I told him Joker was gonna kill someone he cared about eventually, you or Jason and he didn't listen. He never fucking listens." You scoff with the shake of your head as you tug the sleeves of Jason's hoodie over your hands. "I told you, all you had to was let him be fucking Robin or get it through his head that you love him and all you did was fucking fail in both departments." You let out a heavy breath as you lock eyes with Bruce. "And you just...pinned him and Dick against each other so he never fucking felt good enough and anyone willing to actually listen to him for five minutes could figure that out but you just...don't fucking listen. Had you just let him be Robin or been fucking better, he'd be alive!" You let out an exasperated yell.
To be fair, you've been wanting to tell Bruce off for months. You know all of the weird ass training he put Jason and Dick through. Between the cabin and the contract about not letting fear in or whatever, it's insanity. The two of them might have been partially raised by Bruce but from where you're standing, Bruce viewed them as weapons of his own molding. It's wrong even if that was never his intention and all that training was supposed to be to keep them safe. It's still wrong.
"That's not fair." Dick states firmly.
"No, you wanna know what's not fair? The fact I lost my mom because of Bruce. And I just lost my favorite person in the entire world because of him. He was it for me, Dick." You grit your teeth as tears brim your eyes. "So, I don't care!" You turn your attention back to Bruce."You got him fucking killed! Remember what I told you? The guilt eating you alive yet?" You snarl at him as your voice cracks.
"I am sorry for your loss of your mother. I tried talking with Jason--" Bruce starts.
"I don't wanna hear it. Fuck you. I don't care!" You yells at him as your voice cracks. "It wasn't fucking good enough. You might not have taken the crowbar to his face but you might well have." Tears leak from your eyes as you wipe them quickly. "How dare you sit in here and laugh with them over Jason, a kid you never fucking bothered to understand or actually protect. Fuck you, Bruce." You shake your head and you turn to Dick. Your loyalty was always with Jason, not Bruce. "Hey, Dick, you say you forgive him, right? Why don't you go check the Batcomputer and let me know if you still do? You're really gonna wanna see what he's got planned." You taunt.
"What's on the Batcomputer?" Dick looks to Bruce with suspicion. His stomach flips and a part of him actually doesn't want to know. He knows it's not going to be anything good and he really thought, just maybe, things would be a little different.
"It's nothing." Bruce states. "I understand this is difficult. It is difficult for all of us—"
"It was not hard for you to order the autopsy. For what? He was beaten to death. We all know how he died. You had no fucking problem burying him without his fucking friends being here. His family. All you care about is yourself and covering this shit up so you can move onto the next fucked up kid you can weaponize all over again."
Dick says your name sternly, trying to get you to backtrack to the Batcomputer. "What are you talking about?"
"Pictures of kids, profiles on them. Street kids, that's the nothing Bruce is talking about." You explain as you look between Babarara and Bruce. You might have went digging on the Batcomputer, expecting Bruce to be looking for a new Robin. "Should I tell Dick and Babs what you asked me the day of the bullshit funeral you tried to throw?"
"What did you do?" Barbara asks Bruce, her voice annoyed and protective.
"He asked me if I wanted to be Robin, to honor Jason." You roll your eyes as you let out a cold and bitter laugh. "You never gave a shit about him. You aren't even grieving him. Someone who's grieving doesn't go recruit more kids to fill the role that got another one killed. It fucked up Dick. You killed Jason. What's fucking next?" You look to Dick. "You warned me about him. So, don't sit here and pretend like all's forgiven. You knew he was dangerous. To some extent otherwise, you wouldn't have warned me. Every time he asked me for something, I remembered what you told me and I said no. I won't end up like you and Jason. I am not one of his sidekicks. I am my own fucking person. I didn't get to pick my powers but I get to pick what I do with them. Because of you. Don't pretend like you actually think he changed."
"I'm sorry, what the hell has been going on here?" Barbara looks to Bruce.
"I think it's time we stop pretending like Batman's ways are the only good ones because they don't fucking work. Batman has helped the city, sure, but uh, he's also caused it a lot of harm. And now you've taken my favorite people. So, fuck you and fuck your morals. Babs is right. Fuck you. I'm going back to bed." You turn around before looking back to Dick. "I'm serious, check the Batcomputer." You look to Bruce. "My loyalty was always with Jason. It was never with you. That is the only reason I went by your rules and that's why I'll tell Dick everything. I don't have to protect Jason by protecting you anymore. You were his hero. But you were never mine. I hope that guilt eats you alive like it is for me." You state before walking off, the room confused in silence.
You head back to your room and lay back on the bed. You hate that your eyes start burning as the lump becomes so large you can't even swallow. It's not fair. Everything sets you off. You want to stop crying and shaking. You hate the nausea that comes with it and you miss him so fucking much.
Your hand grips the necklace tight as if the pure strength of your fist can bring him back. Every single second is agonizing. All you wants is for him to walk through those doors again and greet you with some lame pet name. You'll take Acid Fingers at this point. None of it matters anymore.
You close your eyes and you see either his face brutalized or that grin he'd give you right before he had a bad idea you'd follow without even thinking. His canines were always a little pointy and looked like fangs in the right light. Somehow it always suited him. And you miss him.
You remember your first night in Gotham that feels like ages ago. And how it felt to be back with him. The void in your heart, the one you didn't even know was there, was suddenly not so hollowed anymore. You touched the bruise on his face and you thought maybe he'd explode from the contact. You always wondered if maybe he could hear your heart whenever you did something like that. It was always the only sound you could hear. He made you so nervous and happy. A part of you thought, maybe, you weren't meant to be happy in love. You always ran from it anyway but Jason made it so easy. He always made it easy to love him even when it was hard. And you don't know how you're supposed to just...cope. To live every day and never hear his laugh and see that grin again. Or hear his voice. You don't even have a voicemail from him. You want him back.
The next morning, Dick walks into your room. He stands in the doorway and he hates he's even the one to have to break this news. But, someone has to and it needs to be him. And you have to be the first person he tells. Bruce, apparently, took all of the arguments a little too close to heart last night.
"Are you awake?" Dick asks.
You stick your arm up and wave at him haphazardly, not wanting to talk. You're still coming down from last night. Gar came in after, he heard the arguing, and checked on you. But, even trying to talk to him didn't really help. Nothing really helps.
Grief is exhausting. It consumes every part of you. Every muscle, every emotion. Every piece of you is just consumed. It's like a radioactive explosion. No part of you is safe from the agony. And no one around you is safe from the grief that leaks from your pores.
"I need to tell you something." Dick keeps his voice steady and stern.
You turn slowly, peeking an eye at him but not saying anything. You think it'll be something dumb. Something to try and get you to get up again, but not argue or fight with Bruce. Maybe Bruce had a moment last night where he finally snapped and actually cried over it. You don't know and you don't care, but you're listening.
"Bruce broke into Arkham last night and killed the Joker." Dick gets it out in a single breath, anticipating you to blow up. "And then he took off."
Your eyes narrow at him as your jaw squares. If this is Dick's big idea of a joke, he really needs a comedy lesson because that's not funny. But, he has his hands in his front pockets and his jaw is squared, he always does that when he's being serious about something. And that grief that just felt like numbness and agony, is liquified into anger.
You sit up slowly. "He what?"
"Yeah." Dick states with the quick raise of his brows. "He dropped a crowbar on my floor last night."
If it were anyone else, you would probably find it in yourself to actually laugh at the use of a crowbar. It's what he deserves but that's brutal. But, this is Bruce. The one who's been saying the Joker has to stay alive. Now, suddenly, he's gone off and killed him? With a crowbar?
"He killed the Joker?"
"Yeah." Dick nods his head.
That's your last straw here. You had a plan. You were planning to kill him yourself and somehow Mr. Morality himself beat you to fucking punch? How did that even happen? The one time you actually put a plan together and Bruce gets there first? How is that even fair?! You're so sick of this shit.
"Get the fuck out." You snap, shaking your head with gritted teeth.
"Look, I know--"
"No, get the fuck out of my room." You point at the door. "That's bullshit. Get out. He should have been mine!"
Dick hangs his head for a second and he's not even sure how he's supposed to feel about it. He'd be lying if he weren't also planning his own revenge on the Joker. Him and Jason had their issues but he is also tired of the Joker getting to hurt people he cares about. He sat by Babara's hospital bed after the Joker shot her and he swears it was the darkest day of his life since his parents died. Then Jason. Killing is wrong, but the Joker needed to be stopped. Dick wanted revenge, too. But, maybe a part of him is a little hurt because he doesn't think Bruce would have done that for him.
Then, there's the other part, knowing you were ready to go in yourself and take care of him. Which makes him a little relieved Bruce beat you to it. You've never fought the Joker. Dick isn't sure you would have made it out. They'd be burying another body.
"The Titans will be here in a few hours. But, I wanted you to be the first to know." Dick states. "I thought you deserved that." Dick lets out a breath. "And you were right about the kids. You were right."
You pause for just a second because Dick does not like to admit he's wrong often. But he is now. You knew you were right but something is a little bit nice hearing it anyway. And from Dick. But, that does not make you any less angry at the world or at Bruce.
"Yeah, I fucking know and so were you. Too bad Jason didn't see it." Your voice softens just a little and you regret not voicing your concerns about Bruce and Robin to him. It probably wouldn't have done anything but cause a fight, but you should have tried.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. Me, too." You shake your head. "Now get out." You lay back down and roll over.
You're going with Plan B.
The agony of grief is turning into boiling rage. How dare Bruce think he gets the right to just kill the Joker now. Of all fucking times. Now he's going to toss his morals aside and kill him? It's a little too fucking late for that. That should have been your job but he went and did it anyway. You're fucking sick of this. So, you change your plan and if you're gonna be mad, you're gonna use it.
You grab the tablet off the nightstand and get up. You grab a notebook from your bookshelf with a marker and sit right in the center of your floor. There are plenty more horrible people that roam the streets of Gotham and you're going after every single one of them. You write down what you deem to be the worst of the worst behaviors and go from there.
This was always going to be the plan if you made it out of Arkham after killing the Joker. You were always going to go after these people. It's just being sped up a little bit and you aren't going to waste a lot of time planning this time around. Instead, you do research through the tablet and find who you can that were confirmed to be working with the Joker and/or working with Pete Hawkins and then you run over their rap sheets and backgrounds.
You remember you and Jason talking about what you'd both do after Robin. After Bruce. You'd hunt down these people yourselves because they're always the ones that get pushed to the side. They get to escape Batman, they don't make it to the radar. Well, now they are. Molly was always right. Batman protects the rich so you're going to protect the ones Batman doesn't. You're going to make sure none of these victims and potential victims end up like you or Jason or Molly or Diego or any of the others. Bruce's morals were never yours.
You finish your research a few hours later before you head to the Batcave, ignoring the laughter coming from the kitchen. You look at Jason's suit that still has traces of blood over it. Your heart sinks to your stomach and your eyes start to burn. You chew the inside of your cheek before taking in a deep breath. It's not fucking fair but you're gonna level the playing field. Someone has to. Not another person.
Bruce offered you Robin as a way to honor him and that's not honorable. But, you want to send the message. So, you walk over to the case with your suit and open it. You get dressed before you head over to the weapons where you grab the extra R blades that usually go into the Robin suit. You stuff them in your utility belt. You are not knives but they'll do the job just fine. Jason always made sure they were sharp.
The kitchen is filled with Titans, all of them snapping their attention to you as you walk in, the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You don't say a single word as you keep your stare in front of you as you walk over to the cabinet where Jason always kept the protein bars. You pluck a few from the cabinet and stick them in your utility belt.
"You're up." Dick finally states with caution. "And going out?" Dick eyes you in the suit.
"Got shit to do." You mutter, slamming the cabinet door.
"You should probably eat something....more filling." Gar chimes in. "Especially if you're going on patrol." Gar keeps his voice hopeful.
You roll your eyes as you walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. The other Titans watch you carefully, glancing to Dick to find out what they're supposed to do in all of this. You didn't talk to Dawn or Hank and neither did Jason. They know what was posted to social media and whatever Gar, Dick, and Kory would tell them. But, they're growing a little more concerned about what they missed in these few months.
"Let me fucking be." You snip. "That's what the protein bars are for." Sarcasm fills the room like toxic venom.
Hank blocks the exit. "Heard you haven't been eating or doing anything. You're eating before you leave."
Of all the people, you do not want to deal with Hank. You can let a grudge for yourself go but for people you love? Absolutely not. Jason can forgive him all the fuck he wants, but you do not. And you will take him out first if that's how this is going to be.
You grit your teeth. "Get the fuck out my way."
Hank crosses his arms. "Not a chance, kid."
"We're worried about you." Dawn's voice is soft.
"I don't fucking care." You snip, looking back at her.
"Why don't you come sit down?" Kory asks. "Take a breath."
It's not Kory's fault. None of this. She has been nothing but nice to you and Jason. But, she's on their side, not yours.
"I have had enough taking breaths. I need to get some shit done and I am going to do it whether any of you like it or not." You look back at Kory with the shrug of your shoulders. "I'm tired of this shit hurting so I'm...going out."
Gar's worried about you. He's always worried. But, you going out even if it's just to patrol seems like a really bad idea right now. He's terrified you're going to do something reckless and they'll be burying you, too. He can't lose someone else.
"It hurts us, too." Gar says quietly.
You know. You know it hurts them all. But, you were closest to him. You were there. You missed it. You were the one that found him and had to look at him like that. You were the one that wasn't fast enough to save him. Or strong enough. Or careful enough. Jason made you rethink everything you have ever known and for the first time in your life, you weren't fucking afraid of staying. He changed every part of you and it hurts. He's gone and it's your fault and it hurts.
You grit your teeth and feel your eyes start to water. "But it hurts me the most, Gar!" You spin to look at him. "You. Weren't. Here! He meant everything to me." Your voice cracks with desperation."I close my eyes and I see his body. I--" You stop yourself, feeling everyone stare at you, the tension in the room making the place feel a rainforest. "None of you get it." Your voice cracks with defeat. "Leave me alone. I'll be fucking fine." You suck in a harsh breath, hardening your face as you look up to Hank. "Get the fuck out of my way."
Hank looks to Dick and Dick shakes his head. He let Jason down. No matter what Dick believes really happened, it was his job to protect Jason and teach, Jason. He let him down and he won't let you down. Not again. He won't lose another person.
"Not happening."
"Get the fuck out of my way or I'll melt your face off." You hold out your free hand, it glowing in response.
"You won't fucking dare." Hank glares down at you. "I'll take you out, kid."
You stand your ground. "I'm not scared of you. I'm not fucking afraid of anything."
"I'll go with you." Gar finally chimes in, tired of the back and forth.
He's a little worried you might actually try to fight Hank at this point. He knows none of them are going to be able to stop you unless with force. He, for one, does not want to see that happen and what will be the aftermath of that. He doesn't want to help with it either. It's not right. So, he'll just go with and make sure you don't do anything too insane.
"No." You're stern as you look over your shoulder at Gar.
"You take Gar or you're not going." Dick states.
He doesn't want you to leave but he also knows holding you here won't do any of you any good. At least with Gar, Dick knows you wouldn't do anything to endanger him. Gar is always the voice of reason and maybe the two of you alone, Gar can talk some sense into you.
"I don't need a fucking babysitter, Dickolas."
"We don't want you to get yourself killed." Gar states.
"The world has never been so kind to me." Your words are broken as you look to the floor. You shake your head and you want to save your remaining energy for your list so you cave. "Fucking fine." You spin around, Gar jumping up from his seat. "But, you don't get to protest what I'm doing and I assure you, you will not like it."
"What are you going to do?" Dick asks.
"Doesn't matter. There's a new crime lord in town, you have your hands a little full with Bruce out of the picture. He's killed eight people and counting, taking over the drug traffickers right now."
"All the more reason for you not to go out." Dick states.
"I'm not in the crime business in case you haven't noticed, Dickolas. " You let out a scoff. "So, I'm fucking leaving and doing my own shit." You turn back to Hank. "I won't piss off a wanna-be Penguin."
"Make sure she doesn't get herself killed or kills anyone else in the process." Dick warns Gar quietly and he nods.
"Move." You groan up at Hank who reluctantly moves when Gar approaches.
Hank moves allowing you both to pass by, Gar hot on your heels as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. You head outside where your bike is parked and you pop on your helmet. You're running through your plan in your head, trying to figure out how you're going to manage with Gar around.
Gar is not going to like it and then you'll have to listen to him. But, if there's one thing you've gotten good at the last few days, it's tuning people out. So, you could tune him out. You could also just have him wait outside if this is an indoor thing. You don't want him involved. This is your thing. It doesn't need to be on Gar's hands.
"Are you going to tell me what your plan is?" Gar asks as he stands to the side of the bike.
"Nope." You state. "Dick's bike is over there with a helmet, grab it and get on so we can go." You state coldly.
"I think you should tell me the plan first." Gar's voice is hesitant.
"We're literally outside right now and I can just take off. I can lose Dick before you go inside to get him and tell him you already lost me. So, either get the helmet and let's go, or I'm going to leave."
Gar lets out a defeated sigh as you get on the bike. He rushes over to Dick's bike and grabs the helmet.
"You're...you're not gonna...kill anyone are you?" Gar questions as he walks back over.
"I told you, you're not gonna like it so you can either stay here or let me do my shit by myself. You'll have to fight me to stop me and we know I'll win. So it's your decision." You shrug.
Gar lets out a sigh, hoping he'll be able to talk you out of this. He gets on the bike and puts the helmet on before he holds onto you. You shake your head, sliding down your face shield before you take off. You head to a hideout that one of the men has been using.
You look at the abandoned building and roll your eyes. According to your few hours of research, he wasn't working with anyone closely besides the Joker but he's dead now. So, you figure this can't go terribly wrong and even if does, that would be fine.
"Stay." You state as you put your helmet on the bike.
"I'm coming—" Gar follows you.
You stop dead in your tracks, Gar bumping right into you. You spin around. "Gar, stay. I don't want you involved."
There's a fire in your eyes Gar hasn't seen before and he really doesn't want you to go in there alone. Nothing good is going to come from it.
"You're my best friend. I don't want you to do something you'll regret." Gar's voice is sympathetic.
"I won't regret this. Stay here." You shake your head and spin back around, hoping he'll actually listen to you.
Gar stays behind as he watches you head to the back of the building. Gar debates his loyalty. On the one hand, he knows he'll have to fight you and he doesn't want to do that. You're right, you'll win. He'll lose anyway. And you're his friend, he never wants to fight his friends. All it will do is cause more tension and you're in the middle of grieving your favorite person. That just doesn't seem right. But, Dick told him to make sure you don't get hurt or get someone killed. So, after just a few minutes of debating, he follows you with reluctance.
Gar rushes inside and by the time he gets inside, you're already throwing the R blades, the man pinned on the floor. He never stood a chance. You have a blade in his leg, in his arm, and in his abdomen.
"Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to do know!" The man begs as you stand over him.
"I don't want to know anything." You state, your hands glowing as you shrug down at him. You run over the list in your head, reminding yourself of every terrible, horrible, irredeemable thing he's done.
"I-I know where the Red Hood is!" The man panics and your eyes narrow.
This guy was working with the Joker so was Pete Hawkins. Red Hood killed Pete Hawkins, that makes sense. But, you find it odd anyway to mention it as he begs for his life. You're not here for the new guy. And you almost ask him why he thinks you are but that would mean offering him time and that's not what this is about.
"I don't care." You roll your eyes. "This has nothing to do with him. This is for every kid you turned to the freak ass clown." You stick your hand to his face as his skin starts to melt.
"Stop!" Gar yells, coming up behind you and yanking you away, the man screaming in agony as he rolls on the ground.
"Get the fuck off of me!" You wiggle in his grip, getting free. "Get the fuck out of here!"
"You're not gonna do this! We don't do this!" Gar gestures his arm at the man.
"I'm not a fucking we! I do what I want!" You scream back, shooting a blast of acid at the man as his screams die down. "See? All done."
You walk past Gar as Gar looks at the damage that's been done. He walks over, checking the man's pulse only for there to be nothing left. He just watched you kill someone in under ten minutes. This is bad. He has to snap you out of this. It's not going to bring Jason back. Nothing can bring him back and you need to find a way to deal with it that doesn't involve killing people.
"You can't do this!" Gar yells, you keeping your back to him as you reach the bike. "You can't kill people because you miss Jason! That's not gonna bring him back!"
He can't let you keep doing this. If this is your plan, some sort of revenge filled with grief, that's not you. He knows you, too and he swears it's not. You're the one who always said you weren't violent. It sucks and it hurts. It's always going to hurt, he knows that, but this isn't going to make the pain any less for you.
You look down and let out a hollowed, venom-filled chuckle. It's never going to be about missing him and that's the thing. He'll never get it. But, it's like this void has opened up in your chest, right where your heart used to be. A black hole, sucking everything inside of it but never being full. It's just a vast of nothingness and it's not about missing him.
"I'm not doing it because I miss him! Fuck." You scream, spinning around with your helmet in your hand. "I'm doing this for me and for Jason and for Dick and Molly and Diego and every other fucking kid that Bruce fucked over and the system fucked over because Bruce said that's fucking justice!"
"And do you think this," Gar gestures around him to the building. "Is justice?!"
"It's better than fucking nothing, Gar!" You let out a harsh breath. "We're the people left behind to suffer at the hands of people with bad intentions! Because we have no other choices! I'm doing this for all of us! I'm doing this for the life Jason should have had! For the life he deserved to have but never got the fucking chance because of bullshit circumstances! Just like me and Molly and Dick and Diego and all the others! So, you can either shut the fuck up and get the fuck on board, or try to fucking stop me."
Gar shakes his head and it's like he's losing you, too. Donna, Jason, and you. This is going to get you killed. You're going to go after the wrong person and it'll be the end. And this isn't you. You're mad and in the middle of grief. Grief is messy, it explodes and it always touches more than just the people in the thick of it. He can't just let you do this and end up regretting it.
"We don't kill people." Gar's voice is soft this time and for a split second, you actually feel bad. He wasn't even supposed to be involved but Dick insists on a babysitter. "And I-I don't want to fight you."
"I'm not a we anymore." You shake your head and shrug your shoulders. Your voice is etched with pain and it breaks Gar's heart all over again.
Your teeth grit and it's so painful, it's almost numbing to everything. Every day, it's hard and it isn't getting easier. And maybe you think you deserve the pain and numbness from all of it. If anyone should have known Jason was up to something, it should have been you. You put all of this blame on Bruce, but it eats at you, too. You both missed it. Everyone missed it. And the one fucking time he needed you to see it, you missed it and it got him killed.
"I don't want to fight you either but I will if you try to stop me and we both know I'll win." You suck in a breath knowing Gar wouldn't have it in him to actually stop you.
And maybe you're hoping it's a false sense of confidence. Maybe you think you deserve to fight him, have him not on your side anymore. Maybe you don't deserve it anymore.
You turn back around and get on the bike before putting your helmet on. It's not going to bring him back, you know. And it's not going to make you feel better. But, it's better than letting someone else go through what you and every other kid has so far. This city eats people alive. It takes and takes and takes and that is all it has ever done. You're tired of it. You're willing to live with the guilt of blood on your hands if it'll help even a few kids who've been left in the cold. Maybe you deserve it anyway.
"Dick is gonna be pissed." Gar sucks in a breath as he takes a few steps towards you.
"Kory kills people sometimes. Rose killed Deathstroke. I killed people from CADMUS when they attacked the tower. You killed someone once. Mr. Moral Highground himself just fucking killed the Joker. Why is it such a big fucking deal right now? Why is it so fucking bad right now?" Your voice is almost defeated.
Honestly, you wonder how it's always Gar caught in the crossfire. Maybe it's just because he's too empathetic, always seeing the good in everyone. It's still something you admire. But, he can't stop you and you desperately wish, he'd just understand.
"Because this isn't you." Gar's brows furrow as he stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets.
You look down and clear your throat, feeling the guilt start to eat at your chest. You're not sure what the guilt is though. The guy you just killed or for making Gar give you that look that screams desperation and disappointment.
"Maybe it always should have been though." You shake your head. "You know, he was bad, right?" You ask. "Like, working with the Joker. Joker had a few guys trafficking kids. Was gonna go after one, Pete Hawkins, but uh, Red Hood beat me to the punch so, next best I guess. So, he wasn't just some guy doing something bad." You explain.
"That doesn't make it better." Gar states. "Maybe we could have helped him get out of that."
"Nope, rap sheet five pages long." You suck in a harsh breath. "Okay, where do you stand on Bruce killing the Joker?"
"I-I...I mean..." Gar thinks killing is wrong, but...the Joker was always the worst of the worst. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do. I think you don't like it but you're not gonna go and tell fucking Batman off for doing it. I think a part of you, might actually understand it." You gesture a hand towards him. "I'm not asking you to agree with me, Gar. I can't ask that of you. But I am asking you to just understand. You didn't grow up here and see this shit, okay?"
"I don't want you to kill people and I don't want you to regret this when it does get better. I know you don't want to hear that but it will."
"We talked about it, ya know?" You ask. "What we'd do after Robin and Batman. Team up and go after these guys. These guys rarely make it to Bruce's radar. It's not fair. Most of us aren't rich but that doesn't mean we're a sacrifice. That's what Bruce called us last night. What he called Jim Gordon, his fucking friend. A sacrifice. I'm tired of innocent people being a sacrifice for a city and for rich fucks that don't actually give a fuck about them unless the press is taking pictures and writing articles about how good they are. We did not say we'd kill anyone, but..." You shrug. "In and out of Blackgate and they learn nothing. Something permanent has to be done. So, I'm not gonna regret it."
He does not agree. There always has to be another way. If they all just started killing people because they think they're bad, how can that be justice? How can that be better than what's already going on? But, Gar can't argue it not without going round and round in circles. And he's never said anything about Kory or Rachel killing anyone. So, he decides, maybe he can try a little bit to understand even if he thinks he won't be able to.
"I'm not killing just anyone, I promise. I have a plan."
"That's not reassuring." Gar states.
"I know." You nod. "But, I promise. I know but can you offer me a little understanding, please? As my friend."
You're done arguing. Your throat hurts and your chest hurts. A headache is pecking at the back of your head, it's just exhausting arguing. Everything is exhausting lately.
Gar moves forward and takes the helmet. "Dick is gonna kill you."
"Eh, he'll bitch about it for a while and then get over it because I'm grieving." You roll your eyes. "Make him a hypocrite if he did something about it."
"Not funny." Gar scolds as he gets on the back.
"Wasn't a joke." You quip. "Hold on."
You spend the day not killing people but by tormenting some of the guys on your list. You beat them up and taunt them, threaten them and scare them. Gar still isn't happy with excessive force but it is better than you killing them. He wonders why you even killed the first guy. But a part of him is a little afraid to even ask. Knowing you, you do have a reason for it. And he doesn't want to give you the bright idea to kill all of them.
Your last stop is Jerry's old house. You hate how your hands shake and the lump in your throat grows. It's more now. It's more than the torture that lingers in your bones because with his house also comes the memories of Jason.
That night was the night you knew something was going on with you. You remember that moment in the bathroom where Dick interrupted you and how your heart was thundering so loud you swore it'd wake up the whole tower. You remember how good it felt and thrilling and the look on his face. That was the night he read to you. This is not that house but it reminds you of that night anyway. This house brought back all of your nightmares. You can't kill Jerry right now, but you can do something about the house. He'll, hopefully, get word of it and know you'll come for him one day. The house is the start.
You suck up your fear and memories as you close the distance and shoot acid on the side panel of the house before pulling out a match. Gar stands right beside you and he knows the house. He remembers it when him and Jason looked into you.
"What are you doing?" Gar asks.
"Burning it down." You state as you light the match, tossing it onto the acid, watching the flames burn. "Suit? Flame retardant. Acid? Flammable." You walk around the other side and repeat the same thing until the house is engulfed in flames. "Tested it out last night, just to make sure." You watch the flames and Gar isn't sure how to feel about it. At least no one was inside, you checked, and this is your business. This is your thing. You're not hurting anyone at least. "Gonna lecture me about vandalism?" You look over at him.
"No." Gar shakes his head. "I'm definitely calling the fire department though." Gar sucks in a breath, the fire warming his face a little too much for his comfort.
"Can you give it a minute? Just to make sure there's no saving it." You look at him. "We can stay and watch it burn, make sure it doesn't get too out of control and no one gets hurt."
"Okay." Gar agrees as you move to stand by the bike and watch the house burn. "Does this help?"
"Yeah." You nod your head. "He's not getting life, ya know? Jason, uh, he kept a file on him. He kept tabs so I wouldn't have to." You shake your head. "But, he got a lot of time but he can still come back and pick it up again. At least he'd need a new house and I'll see him coming. Not another kid."
"It is more than Jason." Gar nods his head with a sense of understanding.
"Yeah," You nod, your eyes trained on the house. "He's just the last straw for me. I think he'd find it funny and then ask why I didn't take a flame thrower."
"Flame thrower?" Gar questions. "Why the hell would you have a flame thrower?"
"Molly and me were walking and we hit this house. I don't know how I missed it. But, I did. And uh, I had a panic attack so bad I just...broke right on the side of the road. It was like I was back in San Francisco, in the basement all over again. Molly called Jason and he sat in front of me and snapped me out of it. Then he asked if I wanted to burn it down. He could get a flame thrower from the Batcave and we're both flame retardant." You laugh softly as your eyes burn.
"Oh, so he gave you this bright idea." Gar lets out a soft chuckle. It definitely sounds like something Jason would have said to make you feel better.
"He had some good ideas on occasion." You laugh softly as you hear sirens coming. "Well, someone beat ya to it. Let's head out." You let out a sigh as you grab your helmet and hand the other to Gar. "Thanks for not stopping me." You nod. "I'll tell Dick you tried."
"It's okay." Gar nods as he takes the helmet. "No one got hurt...here." Gar sucks in a breath.
The two of you get on the bike and head back to the manor. Gar reports to Dick when you get back. For a second, he debates even telling him what happened. Some part of him wants to understand because you're his friend. He believes you think you're doing what's right but it's hard for him to understand even though he doesn't give Kory a hard time. He didn't give Rachel a hard time when she killed people. But, Dick is looking at him expectantly and he can't lie to him. So, he tells Dick what happened.
Dick finds you in the Batcave later that night, deciding he'd like to have the conversation without the other Titans around. Dick swears this is the grief talking and the other Titans don't need to be involved. You're right, they have bigger problems right now. Their focus should be there, especially given the events that happened today. He can handle you.
"Do you feel better?" Dick questions as he paces in front of you with his arms crossed.
"Well, I guess that depends on your definition of feeling better." You shrug your shoulders as you exit out of your screens on the Batcomputer.
"Are you serious right now?" Dick fumes.
"Pretty much." You answer simply.
If Gar can't get you to go back on your plan, Dick definitely can't. He's giving you that disappointed look that makes you almost groan. You're not in the mood for not only a lecture from him but another lecture about how you don't kill people.
"We don't kill people."
You almost laugh at the irony. "I'm not a we anymore in case you missed the memo." You snark. "I'd like to go to bed though. If you don't mind." You get up from your spot but Dick steps in front of you to stop you.
"We aren't done here. I know. I know how hard this is for you. But I promise, you will regret this." Dick tries to reason with you.
"I don't think so. We're different people. I don't feel all too bad about it." You lie. You feel a little bad about it. You're not a monster. "I'm going to bed unless you have anything else you want to say." You let out a breath as you cross your arms over your chest.
"Yeah, I have more to say. You're not going out alone anymore. You're taking Gar with you and you're not going to keep killing people. That's not what Titans do and that's not what you do."
"So, Gar is my babysitter? Gar tried and I still killed the guy today. Do you think that's gonna stop me?"
"Yes. You'll start to feel bad for making Gar stick around."
You narrow your eyes at him and he makes a good enough point. But, you're still pretty sure you'll keep up with your plan. You'll just find a way around Gar.
"Anything else or?"
Dick lets out a sigh and of course there's more. His first night, he went into Jason's room and found a formula. But, you've been either screaming, sobbing, or catatonic the last few days and he hasn't had much of a chance to ask anything.
"Okay, look, I need your help."
You let out a laugh. "I can't kill people and now you need my help." You roll your eyes. "With what?"
"Jason was making a drug, what do you know?" Dick cuts to the chase.
You shake your head in disbelief. Why the fuck would Jason be making a drug? Does Dick really have so little faith in him? You're actually offended Dick would think he was making a drug. It's one of the most insane things you've ever heard and you live with Bruce Wayne.
"Wow, okay, yeah that's fucking rich. He was not making a drug, Dickolas." You scoff.
"Look, I found this formula in his room." Dick pulls the paper out of his pocket and hands it over.
You look at it but you've never seen it before and it's definitely Jason's handwriting. It's messy and still somehow legible. But that still doesn't make any sense. Jason wanted to target dealers and the cooks. You always assumed it was because of his mom and once people are hooked, they'd be more vulnerable to everything.
You hand it back. "I have no fucking idea." You let out a scoff and apparently, he was keeping a whole lot from you.
"Bullshit. You knew him better than anyone."
"Yeah, and I missed him going after the fucking Joker, too." You strike back. "I don't know. I've never fucking seen it, he never mentioned it probably because he knew I'd chew him out for it. I don't know." You bite the inside of your cheek hard enough to taste iron. "Look, he's dead, it doesn't matter." The words are bitter on your tongue and they weigh heavy in your throat. But, it's true. You don't want to hear about it. He's dead, he's gone, it doesn't matter.
"I think it does." Dick protests. He doesn't understand how Jason was making a drug and somehow, no one knows anything about this.
"Why? He's dead. He's gone. Shit isn't gonna bring him back." You brush past him, feeling the caving of your chest start again.
Dick calls your name as you look back at him. "There was something going on."
"Yeah, apparently so but I don't know shit. Wish I did though." You turn back around. The drug is going to eat at you and it'll eat at Dick. You're tired of things eating at you and today is bothering you but not for the killing. So, you change subject. "Hey, okay, uh, you guys actually going after the new guy?"
"We're putting together a case. He killed a woman today, a mother." Dick explains. "Do you know something?"
"No," You shake your head. "But, uh, that guy I killed today, thought I was looking for him. He's called the Red Hood, by the way. Just...thought it was fucking weird and thought you might wanna know. Molly said he showed up at her apartment with Diego Martinez, a missing kid she was looking for. Pete Hawkins trafficking kids to the Joker and he was one of them."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. Instead of begging for his life, he told me he knew where the Red Hood was. I, uh, thought it was weird. I think he was lying and uh, I have no idea how he knew about Molly." You let out a scoff because that part is going to bother you until you get an answer.
"Why would go to your friend? Are you sure you don't know anything else about him?"
"I swear, I have no fucking idea. That's why I'm telling you. Shit is weird, even for Gotham. If I knew more, I'd tell you. Weird he'd kill a random woman but Molly said he just seemed intimidating. I asked more about it later and she said Diego was fine and the Red Hood was nice to him. So...again, weird."
Dick lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair. Of course, something can't be simple in Gotham. There always has to be something else going on and Dick agrees, this just seems weird. And it doesn't make any sense. What is his motive anyway?
"Well, good talk." You let out a sigh. "Just thought you'd like that information in case it was useful. I'm going to bed." You offer Dick a nod before you walk off and exit the Batcave, leaving Dick with a bigger headache.
The next day, the Titans are working on the Red Hood case, something about a chess play. Dick went to Jonathan Crane for help over it which he was not happy about. You choose not even to get involved with that one. You have your own thing you want to do anyway and maybe a part of you, doesn't entirely know how to feel about the Red Hood. He did save Diego and maybe others for all you know and he didn't hurt Molly when he could have. Though, he did kill an innocent woman. So, you're just not getting involved right now, instead you mind yourself to your room for most of the day.
But, then you get a call from someone, an unknown number.
"Meet me at the old gym." He says, his voice disguised by a voice modulator.
You pull the phone from your face, looking at it with confusion before you put it back to your ear. "Yeah, who the fuck are you and why the fuck would I do that?" You snark back.
"Meet me at 8 tonight."
"Why?" You question back.
"Just go to the roof. Eight O'clock." He says before the line goes dead.
You pull the phone from your head again and look at the dark screen. What are you even supposed to do with that? On the one hand, it would be really stupid to listen to a random voice from an unknown number. But, it's also weird enough that it makes you kind of want to go. You don't talk to anyone. The only people who even have your number are the Titans and Molly. A lot of weird shit is currently going on and you would like at least one answer. It might be really stupid, but you figure you'll go anyway and you'll just be prepared for it to go south.
Lucky for you, the Titans had some Red Hood business to take care of that involved all of them looking for possible victims. That gave you the perfect opportunity to leave right when you needed to without having to worry about ditching Gar along the way.
You get to the old gym and walk right in, almost no fear in your bones. You walk right through and into the pool area. The pool is gross, slimy. It looks like it hasn't been used in years, which it hasn't. And the smell of algae sticks to the walls, making you grimace behind your mask. So, you keep walking until you reach the stairs that lead to the roof.
Once on the roof, you walk over to the edge, resting your forearms on the ledge. Your stomach doesn't drop anymore. Anxiety doesn't flood your veins and you don't even feel the slightest bit dizzy. You think it's because of the grappling around the city. You had no choice but to get over your fear of heights. But you know that's not all of it. Fear doesn't follow you very much these days.
You feel someone walk up beside you a few minutes later, barely getting a glimpse of them out of the corner of your eyes.
"Who are you and what the hell do you want?" Your voice is flat as you keep your stare on the gloomy city below.
"Really did get over your fear of heights, huh?" The voice questions, a voice modulator changing it. He's a little surprised you came, honestly. But, it's you, of course you did. You hate unanswered questions and he knows that.
You look over to see the new so-called crime lord. He's wearing a red helmet, the eyes white and there's no mouth. He's got a black padded suit on with a red symbol right in the middle of his chest that looks like a play on the Batman symbol. And above his suit, he's wearing a red hoodie under a brown leather jacket. It's a look.
Red Hood.
New crime lord trying to take over Gotham and leaving no one in his wake that crossed his path. He's brutal and ruthless. But methodical, has a plan and is never caught off guard. Smart, quick, sharpshooter. And as you remember every horrible thing you've read, you nod once because you think this is finally it.
Finally, after all these years of suffering and misery, someone is gonna end it all for you. That has to be the reason you're standing here right now. Maybe that guy you killed was working for him. Cross his path in the wrong way, and he'll just kill you. You're so certain that's what it is and you almost feel relieved as you look back to the city.
"Yeah well." You state, bypassing how he'd even know you were afraid of heights in the first place. "If you're gonna kill me, can you just like do it already?" Your voice is so flat and emotionless, Jason freezes.
You've given up. You gave up on the fight the day he died. And he was worried about that. When the drug wears off, it comes back. Every piece of fear he's ever felt floods back over him and one of those fears is always you. How you're going to react to knowing he's alive, how you're going to react knowing he died, how you've been doing. He can see it in the way your eyes scan the city that you're done. And he hates himself for it.
"I'm not gonna kill you. Why would I kill you?" He asks and he's glad his voice is disguised.
"It's what you do." You chortle. "It's fine, really. I'm sure I crossed you or whatever. To be expected." You glance at him once more before you look back to the city. "Just, uh, take my phone and call Dickolas. Make sure he's the one that finds me because if you don't, that means my friend will and I really, really don't want him to deal with that. It fucking sucks." You nod as you roll your eyes. "Consider it my dying wish."
"Dramatic as always." Jason lets out a chuckle. "You know I'm not gonna fucking kill you because you got that combat thing." He says and he's buying time, trying to get the courage to tell you.
You pause, looking at him slowly. One person that knows referred to it that way. It was always Jason. He always said it was a combat thing. And the only people who even know are the Titans.
You look back to the city and you're about to rip his helmet off yourself. He gave the woman a paper with a chess move and a code. The code was Robin, he asked for Nightwing. That's what Gar said before he left tonight with the Titans. Red Hood knows where Molly lives, he has your phone number and clearly knows about the combat clairvoyance. There is one person who would know all of that and he's dead. So, this is getting a bit frustrating and concerning.
"Why are you acting like you know me?" You huff as you look back at him.
He's leaning with an elbow on the ledge, his weight shifted to his right leg. He's standing so casually and it's almost familiar but at this point, you think you're just fooling yourself. You can't do this.
"Yeah, I'm leaving." You push off the ledge and start to walk off but he grabs your arm gently.
You stop and look at his hand on your arm. He's wearing brown leather gloves that match his jacket. This feels familiar, too and you swear anything would feel familiar because you're desperate. It's just the desperation and the grief. But, it feels familiar and you hate it.
"Wait." He says. "Don't go, alright?" He drops his hand and you let out a sigh, leaning back against the ledge.
"Fine." You let out a sigh and go back to looking at the city. "Can you just tell me what the fuck is going on, please?" You ask and Jason can hear the desperation in your voice. "I have had a shit fucking week and I just....would like to go back to bed." You let out a sigh another sigh. You're tired of the games.
Jason hangs his head and he knows you're going to lose it. You're going to be mad and he's going to have to deal with it. He really, desperately wishes he would have taken the drug before he walked up here. It'd definitely be nice right about now. But, he swore, if he was going to do this, he'd have to do it this way because you would figure it out. That's not the plan and at the end of day, he came back knowing he'd never involve you. You have to know and he wishes this were easier.
But, he takes off the helmet anyway.
"Please, don't be mad."
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A/n: I just wanna say thank you again to everyone who leaves a comment and/or reblogs. I go back and reread them all the time and it makes me really happy 😭 I'm really sorry if I don't always respond I just don't know what to say sometimes lmao or my chronic illness flares up and I just kind of...post and log off and I don't usually comment from Tumblr mobile lol So, I'm sorry if I don't respond but I promise it means so much to me 😭😭😭
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dickroy + 61 or 62? 👀
61. Fairytale
Roy's breath caught when he found Dick enshrined in the glittering glass casket. Wordlessly, he skimmed a hand over the fog obscuring Dick's face. His lips were red as blood, his hair dark as night, and his skin was pale as death. Roy ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I thought the spell didn't hit him." He confessed, looking down to Donna. She and the rest of the Titans had been transformed into the seven dwarfs.
"Of course it hit him." Kory chimed in, a bit too cheerfully. She quite literally couldn't frown, not with her namesake being Happy, and her expression looked a bit terrifying. "He was there with us."
"Then why's Dick..." Roy bit his tongue. Doc/Donna gave him a raised eyebrow. "I'm not. It's not going to work."
"It has to work." Donna countered. "It's part of the story."
"Dick wouldn't want it! It's a dumb story anyways, where's his agency in all of this?" He half remembered a rant from Ollie about Disney princesses and how all their problems were solved by men. "Why aren't we in Tangled or something, I liked that movie." He laughed nervously, feeling himself start to sweat.
"Take it up with the sorceress or Dick's brain." Vic sneezed messily after he finished talking. "I sure know I am, this is ridiculous-" He sneezed again. "-just because I have seasonal allergies doesn't mean-" He broke off into a sneezing fit.
"Dick doesn't even like me like that." Roy protested, as the others slid the glass case off.
"Yes. He does." The others all replied simultaneously. Gar, who couldn't due to his namesake, made a heart with his hands. Roy cringed. That namesake sure hadn't aged well.
"But-"
"Oh my gods, Roy, just kiss him so we can go home." Donna complained.
"We won't watch." Raven bashfully commented.
"You could try just taking the apple off." Garth yawned, before settling down for a nap. "I thought that's what actually solved the problem anyways."
Roy sighed and stepped forward as everyone politely looked away. Even in death, Dick looked stunning, and maybe some of that was due to the fairytale magic. "This feels wrong." He complained, as he parted Dick's lips, searching for that bit of apple. He couldn't find it.
"Look. There's a reason you're the prince." Donna pointed out, clearly peeking through her fingers. "If Dick didn't want to kiss you, it wouldn't have been you. You have to do what's in the story to progress the plot. He knew what he was doing when he bit the apple, he'll understand, just do it!"
"Fine!" It wouldn't work, he wasn't Dick's true love or anything like that. They didn't live in a fairytale and maybe that was the real intention of the curse all along. They'd be stuck here, in this moment, forever at an impasse, because Roy wasn't the prince that could make this work. He was quick with the kiss, just a short peck, but still, he saw the missing chunk of apple slip from Dick's lips. "You're shitting me." He muttered under his breath, as Dick's eyelids began to flutter. Well. He supposed it was just part of the story.
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I know there is the whole ethabaster thing where they're fighting for a bigger cause and see their ideals reflected in one another but they have different perspectives on the cause and that causes friction between them and eventually a loss of respect due to the failure to live up to the version of them the other had in their head but I feel like this works just as well, if not better, for Luke's relationship (not necessarily in a romantic way) with them, particularly Alabaster.
Luke was the golden boy of the army, the poster child that the Titans put at the forefront to draw in other demigods because, look, see how resolute we are in helping you! Luke was the ideological figurehead of the demigod side of the army and was the blueprint on which the other demigods based their ideas. He was more persona than person. Given everything we know about Alabaster, he definitely would have been one of those demigods looking up to him. He would have been projecting his beliefs and his mentality onto Luke, putting him on a pedestal and obsessively devoting himself to the cause he saw embodied in Luke. In a way, almost developing a sort of parasocial relationship with Luke where he liked the idea of Luke and what he represented more than he liked Luke as a person, because he didn't truly know who Luke was as a person.
But, as what often happens when you put someone on a pedestal, Luke couldn't live up to the character Al had in his mind. As the war went on and Luke's possession arc drew ever closer, we the reader can see him pulling back, starting to doubt and even attempting to desert the army. If Al knew about that, it would have felt like the ultimate betrayal. Luke was the paragon of the army and the person every demigod there looked up to and he tried to leave them. Al probably would have seen it as Luke getting cold feet because he was too scared to fully devote himself to the cause and he was too selfish to sacrifice his body for Kronos' use.
I feel like Ethan wouldn't have been as crushed by Luke's actual attitude toward the army and who he is under the mask he projects to the other demigods. For one, Ethan officially joined the army when Luke was already in the casket so his involvement with Luke and his TA persona would have been very remote and not as up-close and personal as Al's relationship with that version of Luke. Ethan just didn't have the time to get that attached or to see Luke's polished facade start to crumble under the stress of the war and the possession thing getting closer. Also, Ethan didn't join the army because of Luke's propaganda. He barely gave half a fuck about Luke's reasons to go against the Olympians. Ethan was just in it for Nemesis and the minor deities. He didn't project his ideologies onto Luke like Al would have. If anything, I think Ethan would have been more angry with Luke for giving the young demigods he groomed encouraged to join the Titans a false idea of what the army and the war as a whole would be like. He didn't prepare them for the reality, just feeding them fantasies that Luke clearly didn't believe in himself and I think that's what Ethan wouldn't have liked.
For Al, it's completely different and much more personal to him. Luke was his hero but fell short of what Al wanted him to be and instead became a traitor in his mind.
And then when Luke was gone, Alabaster was the one to replace him and he refused to follow in his footsteps. Even when the war was over, when the army had clearly lost, Al rallied his soldiers for one last fight and they got slaughtered.
#pjo#percy jackson#ethan nakamura#alabaster c torrington#alabaster torrington#luke castellan#the titan army#ethabaster#do you think if Al does a little thinking#and mopes for long enough#about how the most devoted people in the army#also abandoned the cause#because of the Titans#he'll figure something out?#not likely#but it's nice to think about sometimes#Q
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instagram
I AM GOING TO PASS AWAY
#david dastmalchian#grave conversations#good then i can be on the show#Instagram#kate siegel#titan casket#never thought id have an actual casket brand id want to be buried#but guess now i do#wait i havent reacted enough#HE HAS A FUKCIGN SHOW NOW??!?!!!
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Batgirl: Ignite Part Two
Link to part one: https://www.tumblr.com/jenn0wow/734964837205114880/batgirl-ignite
After discovering a 100 year old university secret and taking down a cult of brainwashed sorority girls, Barbara Gordon has set her sights on off-campus crime this school year. However, her investigations on a mysterious string of arsons gets interrupted by Nightwing, who has a job to figure out who she is and stop her. Meanwhile, Barbara’s school life gets interrupted by Dick Grayson, and her quiet life on campus gets disrupted.
—-
CRIM365 was on the third floor of a building that smelt and probably felt like an ornate wooden casket--well, what he imagined it would feel like in an ornate wooden casket. Something about that place at 9am reeked of death which seemed like the appropriate ambience for a crime history course.
He never thought about ever going to college so he wasn’t sure what to expect out of this whole experience. Not that he didn’t think he shouldn’t or he couldn’t go--the moment he was adopted, he knew that possibility was open to him--, but more that he didn’t think it was what he wanted. He wasn’t really big into school, mainly the whole structure of it. He didn’t go to school while in the circus--surprisingly one of the clowns was previously a school teacher so he sort of taught the children on tour. After Dick was adopted, he was given a set of private teachers, kind of like he was homeschooled, but in the most rich and privileged way possible. He would have gone to Gotham Academy if he wasn’t so far behind his age group in certain subjects. The education part wasn’t a struggle, once given the proper structure, he actually excelled in all his classes. However, It was a bit isolating--to be in Wayne Manor with just adults trying to make him ordinary, and then Bruce making him extraordinary. The Teen Titans luckily changed all that for him, but now that’s all over. That was all his fault too.
Room 308. He turned in and immediately, he felt the room shift in attention. Of course everyone was staring at him. He had gotten used to it after his biology class and his English class and in the halls and, basically everywhere on campus. He wasn’t completely uncomfortable with it. He understood their fascination with him, and it made talking to everyone pretty easy. After his trip, he had just forgotten what that kind of attention felt like again.
Dick politely waved at everyone as he walked down the rows of seats. There weren’t many open--was he supposed to get here earlier than the time listed? He made his way to the back to an empty seat where he thought he was going to be alone, but then he saw a girl--sort of crinkled up in her seat with her head in a book.
He sat in the empty seat next to her, waiting for some sort of interaction of “Hi, thanks for sitting next to me, do you wanna be study buddies, blah blah blah blah. Please follow me on Instagram!” But, there was silence. Nothing. Maybe she was just nervous, shy. Maybe he’ll make the first move.
“Hey, so do you know when this class starts? I didn’t think everyone would be here this early.” He said, hoping for a response.
SIlence, again.
He waited a few more seconds of silence to causally stretch his arms up, feeling his sore muscles scream a bit from last night’s fight. He leaned back in his seat to look at her better. Maybe she had air pods in or was hard of hearing. When he looked past her book, however, he learned that she was actually asleep. Like deep asleep.
He paused, trying to figure out what he should do. He’s heard about college students being super tired, but didn’t think he’d see someone sleeping on the first day of school.
Dick weighed the most polite thing to do. She did look super tired so it felt rude to wake her up, but also if class started and she was still asleep, she could miss something. As he looked at her longer, he realized he knew her face from somewhere. It was the moles on her face that triggered something in his memory.
“Gordon.” He said, not really meaning to blurt it out.
Her eyes blinked open. “Huh?” She pushed her glasses up a bit then rubbed her eyes. She looked around a bit confused and saw him staring at her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up!”
Barbara pushed her hair out of her face and sat up. “It’s okay…” she was clearly embarrassed.
“You’re the commissioner’s daughter, right?” He asked, needing to know if he was right or not before he stopped bothering her.
She nodded like she was anticipating this interaction and went back to looking at her book.
“Wait, we met before, right?” He asked, knowing he was still bothering her, but needed to make sure.
“Yeah, it was that gala at the History museum.” She said. Was she disappointed he didn’t really remember? A little, but it wasn’t surprising.
The teacher walked through the door and immediately started talking. Dick wanted to keep talking, but obviously he couldn’t.
He did remember that day. There weren’t many kids there that night and at some point they found each other next to each other. She was all dressed in black, not like she was in mourning, but that she just liked to dress that way.
“I don’t wanna be here.” She muttered under her breathe.
“These things always suck. I can get us into the kitchen and sometimes you can get the desserts early because they feel bad for you.”
They both slipped away to the kitchen and snagged two raspberry tarts. They ate them in secret into the dinosaur exhibit.
“So this is your first rich people party?”
Barbara nodded while taking a small bite of the tart. She didn’t really like it and started picking at the crust. “Yeah, my dad has been invited to a few things in the past, but usually my mom and I stay home together. He doesn’t like me staying home alone. My aunt is busy tonight anyways.”
Dick nodded. “Bruce thinks it’s important for me to understand the business world. I don’t mind it though. It beats staying at home and playing chess with Alfred.”
She looked at him. “Who’s Alfred?”
Dick rolled his eyes. “The butler.”
“Oh, so you’re rich rich?”
“Bruce is rich rich and I’m just partaking in that richness.”
Barbara placed the plate of raspberry filling on the ground. “Does this feeling ever go away?”
Dick looked at her, not sure what she meant.
“Like, you’ve put placed in the wrong timeline and there’s nothing you can do about it?”
Dick looked down at her plate and then back at the ceiling. “Never. Everything feels wrong always.”
She looked down at her lap with a familiar sadness he’s felt before.
“There’s still good things to look forward to. Like sitting in a room full of dead dinosaurs eating free dessert.” She smiled a bit when he said that. He then looked down at the plate again. “Are you going to eat the rest of this?
She shoved it closer to him. “No. It has little seeds in them.”
He picked the plate and started to eat it without a second thought. “More little seeds for me.” It wasn’t shortly after that Bruce came looking for him.
“Dick, it’s getting late. We gotta go.” Which was code for ‘the penguin is raiding an underground weapon’s black market on the south end.”
Dick had almost forgotten that small moment. He’s had so many big moments since then. Being Robin kind of squeezes out anything less than extraordinary or life endangering out of the memory system.
Barbara hadn’t changed much from that moment. Her hair was shorter and she had dyed it. She still had a sad pout on her face. Quiet, but obviously had things to say. It’s crazy how life brought them back together like this. At least he’ll know at least one person on campus while he’s here.
The class was dismissed and Barbara quickly packed up her stuff and sped out the room. Of course, he was gonna chase after her.
“Barbara, hey!” She walked faster after she heard that, clinging to her tote bag tighter.
He jogged up next to her. “This is crazy! It’s been like what six years?”
“Probably.” She said, quietly.
“How are you doing? Are you a criminology major as well? Following in your dad’s footsteps?”
Her eyes started darting around as if she was nervously finding an answer. “No. It’s just an extra credit I needed.”
“You’re taking a level 400 class as an extra credit?”
“And you’re taking a level 400 class as a freshman?” She threw back and then shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to seem rude.”
“I took a few online courses before I got here so I’m a little ahead.” That was true. In his last year of school, he took a bunch of online college credits in math and English and other stuff. Finally they came in handy. “So what are you majoring in?”
“Pre-med” she said, disappointedly.
“Oh so, I should call you Dr. Gordon.” He said, jokingly.
She winced and then remembered what Harleen said about lying just to please people and make interactions easier. “Actually, I am majoring in Crimiology, but also Pre-med. and then minoring in computer science.”
Dick blinked at her. “Damn.”
“But, my dad doesn’t know criminology is one of my majors.” She said, looking away. “He wants me to be in a safe profession.”
“Fair. He’s seen some crazy stuff…I’m guessing.” Dick said. “So why’d you stay in Gotham? I’m sure you could have gotten into Harvard or Yale or something.”
“I guess…I don’t know. I guess, I was wondering that same question with you.” She said, and Dick felt a cool breeze pass in him when she said that.
“In-state tuition is cheaper, I suppose.” There was a pause, he realized what he had said. “Okay, I know what you’re going to say.”
“Oh, I wasn’t going to question it.” She said, “but, yeah. I was thinking it.”
“Bruce is more or less forcing me to go to college. I was able to convince him to let me take a year off, but he said pick any college and I didn’t care so now I’m at GCU.”
Barbara nodded. “Got it. I’m still in Gotham because of my dad too, I guess. I still visit him on the weekends.”
There was an alert on her phone and she quickly checked it. Fire on 34th street. She quickly scrolls through her phone to look at it better. “I gotta go.” She said, starting to walk away. “Sorry, it’s my dad!”
She speed walks away, muttering, “that’s three this week…” she holds her phone speakers up to her ear to listen to the police scanners.
Dick watches her leave, not sure what to make of her. Not really sure she liked him or really cared about him, but he’d take any ounce of attention at this point.
#merry Christmas 🫡#I liked writing this part cuz I got to include of how Dick grew up.#batgirl#Barbara Gordon#dick Grayson#Nightwing#Gotham#Batman#dc comics#fanfic#dickbabs#babsdicks#barbara gordon x dick grayson#batgirl x nightwing#fanon#dc fanon#dc au#dc comics fanfic
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Game Spotlight #9: Mega Man Legends (1998)
It was the year 1998 and my parents took me to Blockbuster after I begged them to allow me rent a video game. The game that I picked out would be my first experience with the Mega Man games and arguably the most atypical title in that series. Hey it's Larsa here and this time I'll be discussing the very first 3D Mega Man game: "Mega Man Legends" also known as "Rockman DASH" in Japan.
Before some of the other major titans of gaming in the 1990s went in completely new directions another iconic series led by a mascot already reinvented itself years before the larger competition. Though in the shadow of these colossal series while still being iconic itself, many the world over knew about the series of video games "Mega Man" aka "Rock Man" (ロックマン ) in Japan. Mega Man series starred Mega Man, a chibi robot who now should need no introduction. After several years of success eventually Capcom's beloved Mega Man franchise went in a bold new direction with "Mega Man X" in 1993. This new Mega Man X featured more gorgeous detailed sprite work supported by the more advanced technology on the SNES console, it told a more cohesive story, and featured more fast paced action-oriented gameplay than the original main series. Capcom's 'Blue Bomber' was successfully reinvented for the Super Nintendo but Capcom did not abandon their original blue boy and in fact Capcom continued developing titles for both series of Mega Man games side by side throughout the next several years. While Capcom had two separate main titles of Mega Man games they treated as big deals, they were looking to release Mega Man 8 and Mega Man X4 on the new consoles that came out after the SNES. These two titles would be developed for both the Sega Saturn and PlayStation putting their flag down with two strong titles on the newer consoles of the mid-1990s.
However while this console transition was happening it did not stop Capcom from reinventing the wheel yet again when they re-imagined Mega Man for three dimensional gaming. "Mega Man Legends " was a big departure from either previous two established ongoing series featuring Capcom's then-favored mascot. Instead of sprite based artwork we were now officially going to see Megaman in the world of polygons which was an exciting fresh prospect for many gamers of the time. Even though it bore the same name as a notoriously difficult franchise, this new series would be forgiving and more aimed at players of all ages according to producer Keji Infaune. For this title the Mega Man series would be focusing less on an intensive gameplay challenge and more on seeing and experiencing the world. Instead of being a challenging platformer the game would be an action-adventure title.
The new tone of "Mega Man Legends " is immediately communicated with one look at our new lead, "Mega Man Volnutt". Volnutt is a new cuter take on Mega Man than the then-newest interpretation featured in "Mega Man X", who is an inexperienced kid looking for the world's treasures known in this setting as a "digger". You see he is not a 'Super Fighting Robot' or a hunter of dangerous virus-infected robots bound against their own free will. Our boy Volnutt is a part of a traveling family searching for secrets of the world from ages long past. His family is made up of his dependable sister Roll Casket, a dancing monkey known as "Data", and lastly his grandpa Barrell Casket all living aboard a ship by the name "Flutter". The game starts off right away setting the stage for its brand new location "Kattelox Island" and why you the player will be staying there. At the time of your arrival a group of pirates known as "The Bonne Family" have been spotted scoping things out on the island which has made the denizens of Kattlelox anxious. Teisel Bonne, Tron Bonne, and the Servbot army serving them are real scene stealers without giving away too much. "Mega Man Legends" is an ambitious game with an emphasis on the world being a sandbox in which Volnutt can travel to a various points at essentially any time. There would be much to do on Kattlelox Island and even merely talking to the various townspeople would become interesting as they change location and gain new dialogue as the events of the story progresses. As a player it makes the world feel that much more alive when NPCs potentially talk to you about the giant robot you thwarted recently.
The entire game formula has changed in this new 3D title with an emphasis on exploration. "Mega Man Legends" has more in common with "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" than any previous game in it's own series. Many people compare Volnutt's adventures to "Ocarina of Time" naturally but it is important to note that "Mega Man Legends" actually game out several months before Zelda's debut on the N64 console. Unlike the other "Mega Man" games which were divided into stages this new take on the series featured a town that acted as a hub and underground ruins. The winding underground ruins are vast and they all connected through various obstacles that Volnutt can knock down to create new routes connecting locations which he can do as he gains new special weapons throughout the game. Speaking of weapons, you can utilize over a dozen special armaments in addition to the traditional Mega Buster which Volnutt can equip one at a time as a "Sub-Weapon". You don't need to defeat bosses for these weapons like one would normally expect in this franchise, instead to encourage exploration you discover weapon parts from various locations on the island. Likewise Volnutt can discover parts through the mass of ancient scrapped parts that enhances his armor in various ways giving the game some light RPG elements. This game was very experimental with the things it attempted to do. A hard to notice feature of the game is a morality system that changes the color of Volnutt's armor depending on your choices on the adventure though this feature is woefully underdeveloped but it does show the dev team were shooting for the stars with this game.
The character designs feel like they would be right at home in the late 1970s animations and overall the artstyle of "Mega Man Legends" heavily resembles old Tasunoko cartoons. I feel the inspiration is obvious for any who is familiar with series such as " Yatterman ". As a result of putting focus on such a highly stylized designs the game's look doesn't feel as aged as some of the other titles released in this time period. I believe the original musical score still sounds great to this day the music can go from whimsical to heroic depending on the scene. The songs associated with the Bonne family are my favorite tracks in the game in part because they are just plain awesome and additionally because of how much they compliment the current mood of the scenes they play during. Now with that said at times some classical scores such as " Waltz of the Flowers " for example by legendary composer Tchaikovsky make it into the game. No offense to one of the greatest musicians of all time but hearing songs like this can be a little disappointing and distracting when you enjoy the original sounds so much and feels like it undermines the setting a bit. This is the most minor of nitpicks though and it doesn't truly detract from the game. At the same time it poses an interesting question for us all to ponder over while playing this game: Such as is Tchaikovsky actually still alive in "Mega Man Legends" and producing musical bangers on Kattlelox Island?
"Mega Man Legends" has some flaws and can come across as slightly primitive even for the time. Thankfully the game gives you a very endearing experience which does not overstay its welcome by becoming a game that is overly long. You could feasibly clear this game in under ten hours which is a good thing in this case because by the time you finish the game you may kind of miss it. It is the kind of game that leaves you wanting more without feeling like it didn't give you enough in the first place and the lovable cast that play role in the story stay with you as well. Capcom would eventually create a sequel title and it would also get it's own spin-off that we may discuss someday.
A gem hidden among the stones, Mega Man Legends is unquestionably stardust.
-- Larsa
#gaming#video games#retro gaming#retro games#playstation#ps1#psone#psx#capcom#megaman#mega man#mega man legends#megaman legends#acquired stardust#game spotlights#Larsa
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Choosing the Right Casket: Bronze or Titan?
When it comes to planning a funeral, one of the biggest decisions that you'll have to make is selecting the right casket. There are many different types of caskets available, ranging from simple wooden boxes to ornate metal creations. Two popular options are bronze caskets and titan caskets. In this article, we'll take a closer look at both types of caskets, and help you determine which one might be the right choice for your needs.
Bronze Caskets: A Timeless Classic
Bronze caskets are a classic option that have been used for many years. They are made from a combination of copper and tin, which gives them their signature golden-brown color. Bronze caskets are known for their durability, strength, and timeless elegance. They are also naturally resistant to corrosion, which makes them a good choice for those who want a casket that will last for many years.
One of the advantages of choosing a bronze casket is that it can be personalized to suit your tastes. They can be adorned with custom engravings or finished in a variety of different colors. Bronze casket also come in a range of different styles, from simple and understated to ornate and elaborate. This means that you'll be able to find a bronze casket that fits both your budget and your personal preferences.
Titan Caskets: A Strong and Durable Option
Titan Caskets are made from titanium, which is a strong and durable metal. This makes them an excellent choice for those who are looking for a casket that will stand up to the test of time. Like bronze caskets, titan caskets can be customized to suit your preferences. They can be finished in a variety of different colors and can be adorned with custom engravings.
One of the advantages of choosing a titan casket is that they are incredibly lightweight. This can be especially helpful if you are planning to transport the casket to a different location for the funeral service. Titan caskets are also known for their strength and durability. They are resistant to rust and corrosion, which makes them a good choice for those who want a casket that will last for many years.
Best Price Caskets: Finding the Right Option for Your Budget
If you're looking for a casket that is both high-quality and affordable, then you might want to consider shopping for best price caskets. These caskets are designed to offer the best possible value for your money, without sacrificing quality or durability. Best Price Caskets come in a range of different materials, including wood, metal, and composite materials. This means that you'll be able to find a casket that fits your budget, without having to compromise on style or quality.
When shopping for best price caskets, it's important to choose a reputable supplier. Look for a company that has a strong reputation for providing high-quality caskets at affordable prices. You should also look for a supplier that offers a range of different options, so that you can find the perfect casket for your needs.
In conclusion, choosing the right casket is an important decision that requires careful consideration. Whether you choose a bronze casket, a titan casket, or a best price casket, it's important to choose a casket that fits both your budget and your personal preferences. By taking the time to research your options and shop around, you can find a casket that honors your loved one and provides peace of mind for years to come.
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Picture This
Summary: Kurt takes an unflattering picture of Blaine. Fluff ensues. S2 Canon Compliant Drabble!
A/N: So, Thise BTS photos of Darren in Blaine costume that came out the other day...... thanks to @porcelainandthehobbit (HummeIAnders0n on ao3) who 100% came up with this adorable idea!!!! I am actually helpless to her cute ideas tbh
enjoyyyyyy
Read on AO3
******
“I can’t believe they rejected the Warbler’s tour at the mall,” Blaine laments.
“Blaine.” Kurt stares at him, both of them lingering in the senior commons after the latest Warbler’s meeting. Wes had announced that one of the teachers, Mr. Haggard, had decided against chaperoning the Warblers performance at the local mall, due to concerns of it interfering with academic performance. “It was a fifteen minute setlist next to an Auntie Anne’s. I think we’ll survive.”
Blaine pouted and reached for Kurt’s hands, swinging them between their bodies. “You know I love their pretzel dogs.”
It’s been nearly two months since their Regionals competition, since Blaine boldly professed his feelings for Kurt as he was decorating Pavarott’s casket, and Kurt still wasn’t used to the way his heart skipped a beat whenever Blaine was near, or the butterflies in his stomach when they were alone together.
“It’s kind of cute watching you get this worked up over not getting your way.”
“Yes,” Blaine starts playfully. “I’m in full on tantrum mode right now, actually. In fact, I have half a mind to teepee Mr. Haggard’s office right now.”
“Please,” Kurt scoffs. “You could never be that much of a badboy. I can see you sending a strongly worded email… Maybe.”
“I can be bad,” Blaine says, half joking, half defiantly. “Like this.” He puts on a stoic face and places his hands in front of him, sticking out his thumb and middle fingers on both.
Kurt is like lightning in pulling out his phone from his pocket and snapping a picture, not even wasting time to turn off the flash that washes out Blaine’s skin.
Instant. Regret.
“Kurt, no! Oh my god, delete that!” He cries, swatting at Kurt’s hands.
Kurt deliberately keeps the phone out of Blaine’s reach.
“I don’t know why I did that, that was so rude of me!” He continues to cry.
“Please. This isn’t even the most embarrassing picture I have of you, Blaine Anderson. Do you remember the Titan’s championship game?” He quickly scrolls to another picture and flashes it to Blaine,
“You said you deleted that!”
Kurt rolls his eyes. “I’m a lot of things, but strong enough to delete this picture of you is not one of them.”
Blaine groans and hides his face in his palms, refusing to break the shield in his face. “That’s it, I’m never showing my face around you!”
“Fine. You don’t have to. My Lock Screen shows it well enough.”
Blaine breaks and gapes at Kurt. “Did you just say Lock Screen?”
Kurt flashes him his phone, as well as a cocky grin.
“Kurt!” Blaine whines. “You’ll never be able to explain that picture to anyone!”
All the playful belligerence in the world couldn’t stop the butterflies from forming in Blaine’s stomach. It was a mortifying picture, sure, but there was no stopping the rush of giddiness when Blaine realized Kurt wanted him on his screen.
Kurt shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “I’ll just tell them it’s my boyfriend.”
Blaine has to bite the inside of his cheek so that his smile won’t break containment, and even then it’s a lost cause.
It’s only been a few weeks since Blaine confessed his feelings for Kurt. No, they haven’t had The Talk about Labeling whatever They Were, but Blaine has been more than ready since they shared their first kiss in the senior commons.
He raises his eyebrows. “Boyfriend?” He asks coquettishly, taking a step towards Kurt.
Kurt scrunches his nose up a bit, dropping the cloak of confidence and revealing his vulnerability. “Yeah… is that okay?”
“Well, I thought that much was obvious,” Blaine says, before pulling Kurt in for a dizzying kiss. “Although,” he adds after a moment. “I hope you know this means I’m going to have to find an equally embarrassing photo of you to put as my lock screen, right?”
“Are we going to be one of those couples who have cheesy matching screensavers?”
“I’d expect nothing less from my boyfriend.”
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As the coffin passes each row, low prayers and cries are whispered creating a wave of grief that washes over them all. Laena holds her breath as Alicent walks by her, she leans forward to get a better view of the widow settling into the front row, sitting beside her three children, who are all strangely calm considering this is the funeral of their father.
The pallbearers continue on to the front, carefully placing Viserys Targaryen’s casket on a raised stand draped in lush red velvet cloth. Laena steals another glance at Daemon, noting the tight clench of his jaw and narrowed eyes. She feels sorry for him all of a sudden. Perhaps, his brother was the only family he had left.
Unless we were to marry … The painful thought prods at Laena and she feels a sudden sting of guilt.
At a podium in front of his attentive audience, a septon begins a generic sermon, praising Viserys for being a man of innovation and a titan of media. It doesn’t sound particularly personal and the septon’s voice drags on in monotone. Laena leans back against the wood of the pew settling in for the long service until the creak of the front doors creates a flurry of commotion.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes turn towards the entrance to see a woman in her early thirties with pinned back silver hair enter the church. She is dressed dramatically in a black gown embroidered with red and gold accents and a skirt that flares out wide as she glides down the aisle. Her steps are long and quick and trailed by three small boys in tailored black suits, following her like little ducklings.
The septon’s words fade out amongst the chatter as the woman and her sons approach the front of the church. Out of the corner of Laena’s eye she can see Alicent rise from her seat, but she can’t bring herself to care.
She can’t bring herself to do anything but take in the beauty of Rhaenyra Targaryen.
♟️ May My Weary Heart Find You Well
♟️ Laena x Rhaenyra || *NEW* 1/4 || 7K || T
♟️ Modern AU, Second Chance at Love, Revenge Drama, Lesbian x Bisexual, Scheming and Plotting, Family Drama, Rhaenyra on a mission, Laena is a cinnamon roll
Got a bonus Sunday snippet today with a passage from my latest Laenyra series!
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