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#tiktokers are so dumb its funny
stopdyingnow · 1 year
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Istg 90% of the people who hate the way Mappa animates a character on TikTok are cringe fangirls who get pressed when their husbando or whatever is not made into some fanservice uwu softie husband material boyfriend. Like dude literally stfu. I'm dying of second hand embarrassment just by looking at your complaints. One I saw full on freaking CRIED over the way Mappa animated their husbando or whatever- 💀 Literally it's accurate to the manga and Mappa did its job, I'm cringing so hard just by looking at these TikTokers like fr if you prefer the manga just go read the manga. "Mappa did a character dirty" stfu. They didn't. It's accurate to the manga or it looks like manga translated to Anime. And don't give me "oh but they're uglier in Anime" no. It looks like if it were manga translated to Anime. Same applies to the fanboys for Mikasa by the way. Looking at you mfers who slander Mikasa just for short hair and call her some dumbass name like "Mankasa" or whatever. Hair styles have no gender bitch. Like literally I just saw someone CRY over the way Mappa animated their husbando or whatever saying Mappa "ruined" him when no. It's accurate. I'm dying of second hand cringe by watching these TikToks. Some are on Twitter but not as much. Also Istg if Toji stans or JJK fans in general become annoying like these CSM and AOT fans I'm fr going to take a vacation from the fandom, pack my bags, and go join HxH fandom for a bit. Bald Kurapika memes are funny af and help heal my brain from the braincells I lost by watching cringe fanboys/fangirls.
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tiktoks-we-like · 2 years
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revoltinglesbians · 4 months
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i feel like every tumblr america v europe ideas on each other's idiocy is "americans don't know anything about anything outside their own bubble" and "europeans don't know that their country is also very racist"
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drbtinglecannon · 2 years
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I've been saying for years that twitter was a mistake and needed to die, but to finally see it actually happen in real time in the funniest fucking way possible with the added bonus it's costing one of the worst manbabies alive tens of billions in the process?
What a time to be alive
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androcola · 2 years
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remember in rick and morty when rick and summer beat up a nazi and a homophobe and then later rick was confirmed to be pansexual and autistic and for some reason white 4chan incel guys adopted the show as part of their little bitch movement despite the fact that rick sanchez would kick their little nazi asses if given the chance
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minimoefoe · 2 years
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i hate to say it but people with a bad memory aren't quirky they're just annoying like if you know you're a forgetful person then just learn to write everything down it's not that hard
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selfundiagnosed · 2 years
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i cannot relate to imposter syndrome i am genuinely medicore and people praise me for it and i sit in my body every day with guilt & shame for other people viewing my mediocrity as exceptional
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i-merani · 6 months
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I love tiktok what can i say
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mystellenia · 2 months
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giving ellie a hoodie full of kisses ୨ৎ
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summary: you paint a hoodie with kisses for ellie, and the gesture flusters her.
content: nothing much, just ellie being shy
notes: answer to this req!! i'm trying a new format of posts. sometimes i see people do not quite hcs but also not quite a normal, paragraph-formatted fic. its this in between of bullet points????? idk lemme know if yall like it
(wc 0.6 k)
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after spending an hour on painting your lips and pressing them to the cloth of the hoodie you'd gotten for ellie, you sat back and examined your work
you had to admit: the hoodie looked beautiful. but! you did not!!!! your lips were stained red from the paint, your back hurt from hunching over to kiss the hoodie, and you'd probably ingested about an ounce of red40!!! (i know red 40 is in food but let me be silly)
after washing the paint that had gotten on your skin off in the sink, you ironed the sweatshirt to seal the paint in (don't ask me how that works bc idk i just saw it on tiktok like 10 mins ago)
and now we wait for ellie to come home!!
when she finally comes in, she throws her keys on the table near the door and toes her dusty, disintegrating, been-to-bethlehem-and-back converse, bc have you seen them. one day she's gonna take a step and they're gonna turn into a cloud of dust i swear
anyway you're sitting on the couch with your phone in your lap, the painted sweatshirt folded into a square with the kisses hidden inside. she walks towards you and gives you a lil kissy kiss on the forehead like hiiii
you get all smiley because you're excited for her to see the sweatshirt and she gets all suspish.... like what's so funny....
sooooooo.... you tell her you made her something and unfold the hoodie and hold it up to your body so she can see the full thing. and she would soooo get all beet red, like, "...you made this for me?"
and you're like "yes of course do you like it queen" then she gets over the like flusteredness (????(actually i revoke my ???? bc i just made that a word)) and gets so happi like yayyy!!!!
then she looks all confused at your lips and is like "is that why your lips look so severely chapped and red?"
and you get mad so you take away kiss privileges so she does the only reasonable thing which is putting you in a headlock to force kiss you
would definitely immediately put it on and go look in the mirror at her with it on. she'll start geeking and thank you and all that jazz
she would wear that shit 24/7. sleeping working showering shitting ANYWHERE best believe she has that hoodie on. and you tell her its been like 2 weeks of her wearing it nonstop so she needs to wash it but she refuses bc she doesn't want the kisses to start fading. u wash it anyway bc its dirty and she cold shoulders you for about 30 mins before she sees some dumb reel she just has to show you (me fr).
i feel like she's a hot sleeper--like she gets too hot at night to wear the hoodie but she still wants it so she'll just hold it as a baby blanket of sorts and Whatnot.
wait very unrelated but does anyone have a baby blanket that they've had for so long its like basically just threads thats so funny
but overall she loves it. she likes to kiss the kiss prints you made on the sweatshirt bc it's "like kissing you."
there was one time she couldn't find it for like 2 days (because you'd washed it since she never does) and she tried to act all nonchalant and unaffected like she wasn't about to start tweaking and like twitching
then you gave it to her all calm because it was literally just in the wash and she was like "what😨😨😨 where did you find it😨😨😨" and you just tell her it was in the wash and shes like "oh that makes sense"
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pls im so sorry. before i say anything i would like to formally apologize to the anon who submitted the ask for this bc this is so shit. you ask me for a product and this is how i repay you!! shame on me. please dilly dally on over to my asks and ask me something else so i can actually, i don't know, do a good job!! this ask was cute tho u ate with that
@picklesarenice69
wow i very strongly dislike this format so much this is the first and last time i will be doing this!!! i’m only posting this bc its been like a week since i last posted and the citizens will soon revolt, which the city's defenses cannot afford!! we're about to run out of wheat like times are getting tough. maybe i should just try just headcanons 🤔
can you tell i was fighting demons to not make this my normal vocab and format. like just look at this sentence and how it progresses: "when she finally comes in, she throws her keys on the table near the door and toes her dusty, disintegrating, been-to-bethlehem-and-back converse, bc have you seen them." the way that sentence progresses is just the silly demons taking over and also my coping mechanism for grimacing at how much i didnt mesh with this format
like i just couldnt take myself seriously. "yes of course do you like it queen" HELLO??? WHY DID I TYPE THAT but i will not be fixing and/or deleting it bc its making me giggle
dont get me wrong some of you ladies chew it up but i am made for unreasonably long and time consuming fics!!! i’m getting heated too bc not only is this so short and quick to do but it also takes less focus and brain power and ofc i had to make things hard for myself and hate it!!! i’m soooooooooooo silly
click here!! oh and here too!! ˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶
---
edit: wait i would like to clarify that i just hate this because perhaps i’m not used to it. if you guys like this maybe i'll do more bc i follow the clout always 💯
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sunkissed-zegras · 17 days
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Can you do a pt.2 of UConn wbb manager headcannon pleasee
𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ─ UCONN WBB MANAGER
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─ warnings | mentions of injuries, fluffy, nothing else?
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @uraesthete @hello-nah817 @wanderlusturous and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
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there are soooo many videos of manager getting upset over dumb calls that they make on the court
and people like read her lips and it's so funny because she'll just cuss them out not knowing there's a camera on her
like she gets pissed but since she can't get involved, she'll just talk to herself as she takes pictures
they become reaction pictures
the caption would be like "when my mom pisses me off but i can't let her hear" or something like that
there are a lot of videos of manager being really sassy but there are PLENTY of her being a sweetheart
especially to fans!!!!!!
not necessarily like clips or anything but anyone who's met her LOVES HER
she will gladly take pics of you and the player she's with, and not only that but baby girl will get ALL the angles
it's adorable
i feel everyone is very protective of manager but ESPECIALLY kk and paige because they're like her guard dogs
this may be like a really niche example but kinda like kiyoko in haikyuu??? yeah...
also NIKA
paige/kk get really protective over literally anything so it's just them tryna make you laugh when they're protective, but you/nika have a different dynamic where it's like
if anyone tries to disrespect you, not only will they have to deal with paige/kk but NIKA
and she's sm scarier than them no offense...
you know you've made into manager's heart when she starts to tease you because she's like... not being too professional with you anymore
especially like the freshman, ooo she loves teasing them
in this ask, where nonnie talks about how the team brings out manager's soft side is sooo true
like she may seem like a cold-stone bitch but in reality, she's NOT !! not even a tiny bit, poor girl just has the worst case of rbf EVER
her soft side comes out when any of the girls get injures, oh my gosh
she's the first to come to their aid and help them
and she's always there for them after the fact cus she knows how hard injuries can be when you play a support
she's there emotionally and talks them through it, makes sure that they know they're still part of the team injury or not, and of course that she loves them!!
AND she's very soft with the girls when they're going through stuff outside of basketball
relationship issues, family issues, drama within your friendgroup, baby girl is there to help them through it!!!!!
but she's not just like "therapist" friend, trust the team in return knows when theres something up w her and will do everything in their power to help her
and jump whoever hurt you
when manager gets her nails done, the team gets SOOO hurt bc they can't get theirs done bc of basketball so they get super mad at her (jokingly ofc)
so she just rubs it in their faces to get them angry LMAOOO, its very funny to witness
every once in a blue mood, manager will post a thrist trap and OH MY GOD
the entire team is in her comments hyping flirting with her up!!
and especially after uconn kinda blows up on tiktok, you bet those old thirst traps will make themselves into the damn edits
you and paige will hang out during that time and just look at edits while laughing your asses off (but paige is lowkey into yours cus she favorites them)
OOOO AND SHE FORGETS THAT THE EDITORS CAN SEE WHEN SHE SAVES THEM SO SHE JUST GETS EXPOSED AND EVERYONE'S JUST LIKE PAIGEEEE PLS 😭😭
i feel like there's def an edit with the audio "milkshake instrumental" bc everyone thinks u give off like... mean girl vibes
BUT EVERYONE FALLS IN LOVE WITH U BC OF IT, IF THAT MAKES IT???
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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kaustic · 2 years
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Hey jsyk clicking your TikTok link takes you to a screen that prompts the viewer to follow your account. All good if ur ok with that but i thought I'd let you know in case you don't want Tumblr randos following your tiktok
ye i know lol my account is private though so no one can follow me without me letting them :)
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shunsuiken · 16 days
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I JUST CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE, CAN WE GET EVEN CLOSER?
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pairing. kamisato ayato x gn!bodyguard!reader
genre. fluff for the most part + does get suggestive tho 😁
synopsis. the yashiro commissioner resorts to a scandalous method to get your attention.
wc. 1.5k (i know its short but i wanted to get straight to the point LMAO)
an. guys this is so dumb but one thing that popped up in my head while writing this is that tiktok of that girl going i slowly started to be seducted by him like he’s trying to SEDUCE me 😭😭😭 omg that shits so fuckin funny
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“you’re too far away, y/n.”
your eye twitches as you stare at the wooden door. he’s teasing you. a filthy load of shamelessness drips in his tone. an arm rises so he can relax his cheek in his palm, eyeing your figure that has been standing in front of the door this whole time.
you realise why he’s decided to open his mouth after five minutes of dead silence.
you’re not looking at him.
“y/n, i said you’re too far away.” his voice is louder this time. it sounds closer to a command.
“i am standing at an appropriate distance from you, my lord.” you’re staring laser beams into the door at this point. “feel free to attend to your bathing requirements independently.”
ayato scoffs. a shiver crawls up your spine.
“it was my understanding that you, my personal bodyguard, were informed about the injuries i sustained during the failed fatui assassination attempt.” drawing circles in the water with the tip of his index finger, he sighs, “sadly, my current physical state renders me incapable of attending to my bathing requirements.”
“so i would be most grateful for your assistance.” you can practically see the grin on his lips, devilish and scheming.
before ayato picks up the bathing cloth, you’ve already given in, practically attaching your eyes to the bathtub as you sit on the stool provided for you. taking the cloth, you dip it in the water to soak it up before gently gliding it across his shoulders with shaky hands.
“ah, there we go. now wasn’t that easy?” ayato turns his face towards you, now showing more of his naked back—wet and glistening in all its glory.
you feel you might faint.
you hum in agreement, holding onto that blasted bathing cloth for dear life. ayato seems to notice and turns his whole body towards you out of curiosity, but your head snaps in the other direction instead!
“y/n, how will you help me bathe if you’re facing that way?” you can hear the water splash around the stone material of the tub. it drips down the side, slowly sliding towards the stone floor.
you’re his bodyguard. you’re his bodyguard. this wasn’t part of the job description—so why are you even here?!
“my lord, i find it difficult to provide assistance if you keep moving,” you respond indifferently, maintaining some level of professionalism despite how this situation has broken all levels of it.
from the corner of your eye, you can vaguely see his hair sticking to his collarbones and shoulders. ayato knows you can see him like this. so there’s simply no point in acting such a way. but he laughs, humoured by your behaviour anyway. “oh please drop the formalities. i am merely an injured man before you.”
a naked, injured man. you correct him silently.
“mm.” you don’t really know what else to say. how were you supposed to explain any of this to anybody if they caught you leaving the bathing hall with him?!
you soak up the wash cloth once more, beginning to clean him up again. avoiding all eye contact and opportunities of skinship turns out to be much more difficult than you thought. however, when it’s time to clean his chest area, you wordlessly pass the cloth back to him.
“hm?” he looks at you. “what about over here?” he asks, pointing at his chest shamelessly.
you gape at him—oh, you’re finally looking at him now. and you wish you didn’t.
ayato is so utterly gorgeous. cheeks dusted in a shade of pink from the steam and his lips, moistened and sanguine. he would have been recognised as a deity were it not for his mortal disposition.
ayato rather takes pleasure in this look on your face. baffled, stunned, dumbfounded—this list could go on! what he finds interesting though, is that your eyes never seem to go past his shoulders. and, ayato, being quite fond of his cute and adorable bodyguard, has to tease you.
“this is as far as i will go,” you inhale, feeling like your mask of indifference will crumble within seconds. “my lord, it would be inappropriate for me to assist you in this area.”
ayato’s brows raise in excitement, revelling in how you try to stay professional. you’re doing a much better job than he would’ve expected—if it were anybody else, they would have been seduced right away.
but it’s you that the lord is playing with. and he intends to play with you until he is satisfied.
“but you’ve already come this far, why not do the rest while you’re at it?” your bottom lip quivers.
ayato figures that he’ll need to try something else to get your attention to where it needs to be.
you gasp when he takes your hand in his, gently pulling you towards him until you’re sitting on the edge of the stone tub. your uniform is dampened as you sit on the edge but you can care less when ayato peers up at you with those lavender eyes.
“m- my lord, what do you intend to do?” you curse yourself silently for stuttering. the vapour from the bath water makes your cheeks hot and sticks your hair to your forehead.
kind of looks like you could use a bath too. ayato makes a brief comment in his mind, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he ponders on a response.
“get in the bath with me.”
a moment passes by. you swear you have never heard a more ridiculous request than this. for the past few years you’ve dealt with his unique appetite, his clothing requirements and his… special personality but this request is the first one that renders you speechless.
“what?”
“get in the bath with me,” ayato repeats, firmer this time.
you’ve lost feeling in your legs ever since he took your hand, but it’s not long before you’re soaked in bath water—with ayato there to soften the fall as your hands instinctively grab onto his shoulders. you land with an oompf, fingers wiping droplets on your face, unfortunately missing the biggest grin on your boss’ lips.
“there, that was not so difficult, was it?” his voice is much closer by your ear now, sending a wave of chills down your spine.
you hesitantly meet his eyes, behind those pretty lashes and soft sky blue hair that clings to his forehead and cheeks. “wasn’t,” you mutter as your gaze shakes in your stare. you fear that if you tear your eyes away from him again he’ll do something else even more ridiculous.
the water swooshes and you fall onto your butt when ayato finds himself on top of your lap. you can feel his thighs just gently pressing against your own which is making you wonder how you haven’t already lost consciousness.
but it’s also making you think about things you never would’ve thought you would think about.
is ayato, your employer, trying to seduce you?!
you try to think of something to say. anything. doesn’t matter how random it could be. you inhale sharply, “so did you actually have work to do or did you just want me to loiter around you?”
“not to ‘loiter’,” ayato chuckles at your word choice while you think you’ve heard heaven’s gates fly right open. “but to ‘accompany’. i did indeed have work to complete but such a mind-numbing task becomes more bearable with you around.” he traces your cheek with the pad of his thumb, palm just ghosting over your ear. “do you know how adorable you look when you’re sitting by the door with that straight look on your face?”
“that is my job, my lord.” you don’t lean away from his touch. a good sign for him. “i didn’t think i would be such a distraction, if you would like, i could relocate just outsi-”
it’s featherlight. barely even a kiss. just a gentle brush of his lips over yours. but that miniscule feeling is like a fire and it burgeons in your chest, melting away the cold iceberg of your doubts and worries. there is no turning back now. it’s like your hand has grown a mind of its own when it wraps around ayato’s neck, pulling him closer so his lips collide with yours again.
“oh dear,” ayato mutters lowly. his hair tickles your cheek. “are my feelings being reciprocated?”
your lips are like magnets to his. it makes you grin at the revelation of your own emotions. “i fear you’ve successfully seduced me, my lord.” ayato smiles as your gaze flickers between his eyes and lips.
being caged between his arms has to be considered some sort of sport for your heart. the last time it threatened to leap out of your chest like this was during the official selection of ayato’s bodyguards.
“that makes a fine headline for the steambird, don’t you think?” ayato keeps his lips close to yours, doing everything he can in his power to not crash his lips onto yours again. and so pathetically too. “‘bodyguard allegedly seduced by the yashiro commissioner’.”
“indeed. now wouldn’t that shake things up here in inazuma,” you laugh, cupping your hands in the water to pour over what you can onto his shoulders. “well now that you’re all cleaned up, don’t you think you should get ready for bed?”
ayato gives you a pointed look. “will you dress me?”
“i-” you shouldn’t even pretend like you’re surprised by this. nodding your head, you reassure him, “that can be arranged.”
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noosayog · 1 year
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[8:49 PM] ft. Sakusa Kiyoomi
wc: 300
y'all know the tiktok I'm talking about
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“Do you think I could be tiktok famous?” 
Kiyoomi lifts his head from its current position resting on yours, yours on his shoulder. He has to crane his neck awkwardly to look at you. “You’d have to make your first tiktok first.” 
“I have a really good idea,” you nod seriously. 
Kiyoomi looks at you and you could burst out laughing from how hard he tries to muster up an encouraging smile. “Sure you can, babe.” 
“What’s that supposed to mean!” 
“What do you mean? I said you could do it!” 
“You’re just saying that!”
“Well, babe…” he trails off sheepishly. “You’re not funny.” 
You jut your bottom lip out as far as possible and tuck your chin into your chest to blink at him through your lashes. “Omi, do you really think I’d be that bad at it?” 
“No!” he backtracks. 
You almost, almost, grin. 
“You’d be great. Show me your idea.” 
“Really?!” you blink at him. “Okay, I actually already made it. Here, I’ll show you.” 
You swipe to your tiktok drafts and pull up the video to show him. 
The first thing Kiyoomi sees is the back of his head, an extended swiffer duster in hand. He hears the beginning of a familiar song play
~eat a two-week old unrefrigerated pie~
He continues to watch himself approach a cockroach above the stove in your shared apartment, extending his long arms excruciatingly slowly, duster inching towards the bug. He knows what happens next. The cockroach suddenly spreads its wings and starts flying towards the Kiyoomi in the screen and the video stops, cutting into song. 
~dumb ways to die~ 
“So what did you think?” 
Kiyoomi gives you the deadest fish eyes he can muster, getting up and slamming the bedroom door shut on you. 
“Omi!” you laugh. “What did you think?” 
“You can sleep in the bug infested kitchen,” you hear through the door.
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b0nten · 6 months
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BLUEBELLS, YOURS TRULY.
[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷。 albeit rarely, rindou overthinks, and frequently, ran doesn’t think too much.
[NOTES] ˚⁀➷。 this is like the “backstory” for the ring. MAYBE i’ll turn it into a multiple part. i also put it in the timeline where everyone is happy because i really love everyone being friends. wrote it because rays’s version destroyed me !!!!!!!!!!!
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he spins the ring on his finger. he slides it off. he looks at it. he lets it hang from his neck, on the chain. he sighs.
“now what the hell is up with you?” barging in, ran asks. “who shat in your cereal every morning for the past two weeks?” he says, opening the kitchen cupboard to take — funny enough — some cereal out.
“i’m not in the mood, ran.” his younger brother spits back, head falling against the wooden table.
“hey now, there’s something really wrong with you if you’re acting like .. this.” pointing at him, he sits down, fat bowl of cereal clashing against the dark block, spilling some milk onto it. “now, spill.” with mouth full, he tries to choke out the words, spoon in his brothers face the moment he gulps down the first mouthful.
“you’re gross sometimes.” rindou just sighs, looking away.
“what’s with the ring?” ignoring the insult, the lanky haitani just continues his questioning. “by the way, the blue doesn’t look that bad on you.”
“it’s mine, and i got a matching one for y/n.” the other explains, “thanks, by the way. it was her idea to dye it like this.”
“you wanna propose to her?” his older brother asks, chewing loudly. “y’know we’re still just teenagers?”
“no shit, big head.” rolling his eyes, rindou feels the exasperation dig its roots deeper into his brain. “i’m not proposing. yet. but i don’t know if i should give it to her.” he finally says, letting ran in on his worries.
“and why not? what’s that? cartier, right?”
“no brand can escape your gaze, you’re really unbelievable.”
“thanks, bro, love you too.” as he swallows his last spoonful, ran winks.
“not in a good way.” the younger sibling announces, earning a displeased look from his brother.
“now you’re the annoying one. fuck’s going with you two?” ran finally snaps, trying not look worried. after all, he loves his brother, but they don’t do that kind of talking.
“she’s leaving next week” rindou finally manages to choke out.
“what? what do you mean?” his brother asks, taken aback by the sudden information.
“her student visa’s expired. she’s gotta go back home until gets it renewed.”
it pains him to even think about it. he hasn’t eaten in almost fourteen days, ever since he found out. but what pains him even more is how excited you are about going back home. about going away from him.
he thinks it’s selfish, because he knows how much you’ve missed your parents and how much you’ve waited for a holiday that’s long enough to return.
“if the flights take four days in total and i want to stay for two weeks, then i’d rather not go anymore.” you always said. “i want to spend as much time as possible, without having to rush anything, y’know?
but maybe sometimes love is all about being selfish, loving someone with your whole heart. maybe he wants to never let you leave without him. maybe he can’t let you leave without him because he can’t stand not being an 8 minute subway ride away from you.
“don’t tell me you got some of those control issues, the pretty tiktok girls say they’re not cute at all…” ran comments, dodging an uppercut by a mere second.
“can you take me seriously for once? i think she wants to break up with me, she called me over today saying we have to talk.” rin frowns, blond-blue bangs covering his tired eyes. “i shouldn’t have believed that tiktok reading that said good news are coming my way.”
“you’re so fucking dumb, lord have mercy.”
“excuse me, ran?”
“you’re excused. let’s get this straight: does it really matter to you wether she’s oceans away or in meguro? what do you think she’s gonna do, break up with you only to return in three months and see you everywhere? do you really think y/n’s that kind of girlfriend? throw away three years BECAUSE OF A VISA?! fuck outta here with that insecure crap, rin. i raised you better than that.”
on the inside, ran smiles. oh, how he loves knocking sense into his younger brother. truly the best activity.
“now go and talk to her.”
rindou hesitates.
“i won’t say it nicely the second time around.” the older one threatens, and rindou jolts up from his chair and bolts through the door, house slippers still on, door wide open. before ran can say anything else, rindou’s voice echoes from the staircase into the kitchen:
“i’ll buy a new pair when i get back, don’t start bitching, please! i’ve got a girl i have to convince not to break up with me!”
his older brother laughs as he pulls out his phone.
sister in law
(16:22) he’s on his way.
then, a ping fills the empty space.
sister in law
(16:23) already talked to mikey. everything’s going great.
(16:23) love you, big head
(16:23)🫰
maybe ran’s not gonna tell you the reason rindou is running like a maniac through minato ward right now.
ugh, is his head really that big?
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tagging: @h4nman BECAUSE YOU MADE ME CRY😡😡😡 ; @sirachano0dles <3 i might start a taglist if i make this into a multiple part fic?!?
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cara-dreamer · 2 days
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TikTok has found IHNMAIMS. I do have a mouth and I am about to scream if they don’t stop with the worst takes I’ve ever seen in my life. I know Tumblr isn’t known for its media literacy but it’s gotta be better than this. I don’t know how to add the keep reading so uh long post incoming.
Some woman: I just feel absolutely awful for Ellen. She didn’t deserve any of that.
Some man: Um ackchually the guys didn’t deserve any of that either!
I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS THAT IS THE POINT! None of them deserve what they’re going through!
We also have the babygirlification of AM but like beyond what’s normal. (I will say I’m not a completely innocent bystander there. I love pathetic little meow meows.) However, I have been a fan of the story for years and years and recognize that he’s still an irredeemable monster. I am not having a good time seeing people trying to justify why they like him by minimizing that. Just post the “hear me out” and move on. Your taste in fiction says nothing about your moral leanings, but defending it and arguing to justify it does. It forces you to make up a moral stance, usually a bad one.
I’m not including the person that drew AM as a Tumblr sexyman with the intent of pissing people off. That’s just funny.
Another is these people forgetting what an unreliable narrator is. There was someone who commented on a video talking about it, “So you think you know their experience better than them?” YES THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEYARE SAYING!
They can’t handle a narrator that doesn’t always tell the truth and doesn’t have perfect morals or perfectly accurate information on events.
And then there’s the talk about the author. Maybe just chill out. You’re not a bad person for enjoying fiction by bad people, especially since he’s been dead for a while now. Talking about and critically analyzing his cool short story isn’t showing support. I enjoy the works of Lovecraft, but I’m not a fan of the racism. That’s where the “critical” part comes into play. Just enjoy the story for what it is.
The only people I have some patience and grace for are the ones that are pointing out genuine questions raised. They at least had their brain on while reading. Seeing “Did you know the title probably refers to both the protagonist and antagonist?” or “Is AM still limited in his power to only be a tool of destruction, even now?” gives me some hope. Also the crack ship of AM and the Qu. That’s the kind of dumb content we should be getting out of it.
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derfpossessions · 1 year
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Influencer My Ass
2 days before the entering.
While at the gym, Xara noticed that there was someone distinctively familiar working out nearby. And there he was, Jeremy. He just finished lifting weights as he passed by Xara. She was in a lot of disgust as she saw him rub off the sweat that accumulated over his glistening body.
“Look at this dumb jackass.. so that’s the boy Sheryl was drooling over about.”
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Jeremy then saw Xara staring at him and asked.
“Hey, have we met before?”, he asked.
“Obviously not.”, said Xara
“Well, do you follow me on tiktok? haha”, Jeremy jokingly said.
“Maybe if YOU were my type. Adios.” Said by an annoyed Xara as she left to go to the change rooms.
“Damn… what did I do?”, Jeremy wondered while looking at her leave.
1 day before the entering.
Xara then went to school with her bestfriend Sheryl. Xara was disgusted to see that Sheryl is thirsting over Jeremy on her phone while they were having a conversation.
“Don’t tell me you’re sweating over that goddamn Jeremy again.” Xara angrily said.
“What?? I find him hot thats all!” Sheryl said.
“Well fuck him. He’s not gonna be a good cause to you. None of those boys will.” Xara replied.
“Listen, Xara. It’s not my fault that you’re queer and so isn’t it yours. It’s TOTALLY FINE if you’re not into men. I get it! But why is it you always wanted me to stop getting one?! I just don’t get it!” Sheryl said with an increasing tone.
“Because I love you!!” Xara screamed.
Both of them went silent. There wasn’t any reply after that. Both of them are in 2nd year University but Xara is at the Arts department, while Sheryl is at Life Sciences. They both parted ways as they went to each of their classrooms.
Sheryl didn’t responded to any of Xara’s messages that day. Night came and Xara’s shift at Starbucks was finally over. She went home and found that Sheryl was already asleep, and she must’ve been avoiding her.
Since Sheryl doesn’t like going to parties and obliged Xara to not to as well, Xara broke her rules and decided to go to the next dorm’s House uni party.
There were lots of people from various departments. It was a way of making fun and making friends.
Xara was sitting alone at the bar counter when suddenly she was offered a drink by a strange woman.
“This your first time?”, asked by the lady.
“Yes. how do you know?”, asked Xara.
“Well, I can read people’s minds. And as I’m reading yours right now, I can tell you have problems.” “Love problems.” said by the Lady.
“Look strange girlie, I don’t know how you’ve managed to dose yourself on drugs this early onto the party but I’m not having it.” Xara started to get frustrated.
“Chillax, hehehe.. I am actually for real. Trust me, I need you to take these pills. These are VERY helpful and is specific for your needs.” The lady replied.
“What needs exactly?” asked Xara.
“Well you wanted to love your bestie right? But she loves a cutie boy? How unfortunate!” the lady giggles.
“Hey stop it! Its NOT funny!”, Xara started to get mad.
“Now now… If you take these pills, you will be able to make her fall in love with you. Well not exactly you though.. if you know what I mean.” the lady said.
“What do you mean..?” Xara asked.
“Dumbass! Do you not get it yet!?! I’m an astral projector! A body snatcher! You should be lucky I’m using my original form right now!” the lady started to get mad.
“Wha..What?!? You could do that?!” Xara got curious.
“Yes! Now hurry up and practice! The process would take an hour!” the lady advised her.
“Well.. who do I use this on though??” Xara asked.
“Well who ELSE would it be besides the boy she’s been THIRSTING over!” the lady replied.
“Je..Jeremyy??? Ewww.. but if I have no choice then.. so be it.” Xara reluctantly agreed.
“FINALLY! Took you long enough to agree. The people who masturbate are waiting!!” the lady said.
“Here’s my address. Visit me once all is finished. I want you to see playing that hunk well. Bye bye now.” the lady left.
Xara went home to her bedroom. Sheryl was still wide asleep. She then looked at the pills while sitting at her bed. There were six of those pills.
“Interesting… maybe I should practice doing it like she said??” Xara then swallowed one to see what will happen.
Intensely, she suddenly had a seizure. Her vision was starting to darken, and she lost her senses of the surroundings. She tried to grasp for air but it was too late. She passed out on her bed.
After a few seconds, Xara woke up, but to her surprise her body was no longer physical. She saw her body laying on the ground while she floats mid-air. She phased through the walls and saw Sheryl sleeping tight.
“Woah… this is soo scary…”
Xara then tried to touch Sheryl, but before she could even do so, she suddenly got warped back, sending her back to her own body.
Xara woke up gasping and panting. It turns out the astral projection only has a limited amount of time before you would return back into your own body. It takes practice to stay as a spirit for longer periods of time, but to do so, the person would have to inhabit another person’s body to prolong the process.
Xara plotted her plan to win her love’s heart. Things are about to go wild and sinister from this point on.
The DAY of the entering.
The day has finally come. Xara’s plans to take Jeremy’s body has taken into motion.
All was set. The pills, the emergency note contact, and the nitroglycerin patch mixed with sedatives. More details on that.
As Xara left the dorm, Sheryl had already went ahead to her class without waiting for Xara.
As she exited the door she paused and went like, “Shit. How do I know where to find him though??”
She took a bus ride and sat down. She opened TikTok and to her luck, Jeremy recently posted a new Tiktok. She knew where she would find him at this time, at the gym.
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Jeremy had just finished doing his legs workout. He decided to take a break and sit down. He was planning to get home.
Xara then overheard him calling someone and was planning to depart the gym, so Xara acted very quickly.
She followed him into the change room, which of course was a tough process and suspicious since she was a woman entering the men’s room. Then she saw Jeremy sitting and getting his clothes. He was packing up and was about to leave. Xara then sneaked up behind the lockers and pulled out the pills. To her surprise, she knocked over a water bottle which caused Jeremy to catch her.
“Hey! What the hell are you doing here?!?” Jeremy got shocked. “Hold on. You’re that rude girl who walked out on me at the gym 2 days ago! Are you stalking me?!” Jeremy said.
“No.. no! I can explain! I can explain!” Xara got nervous.
“I’m giving you 2 minutes before I call the cops. How do I know you’re not some stalker trying to kill me?!” Jeremy backed away.
“Ok look. My little sister is a big fan of you. Sorry if I was bit rude before ok? I was just annoyed by the fact that she keeps talking about you whenever I meet her! You understand?” Xara lyingly said.
“Well.. that makes me feel a little bit better. Haha! Sorry! Is there anything I could help?” He replied.
“Well there is one request I have… can I take a selfie with you?” She replied.
“No problem! Come here bestie!” Jeremy said.
He didn’t knew that were his last words that day. Xara, with her smart moves, slowly pulled out the nitroglycerin patch as she came closer. She followed the lady’s advice one by one.
“Those patches contain nitroglycerin mixed with sedatives. That would make him black out and faint as soon as you put it in. While you are in his body, DO NOT take that out. You will be immediately ejected out of his body as soon as you do so.”
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As Xara came closer to him, Jeremy pulled out the camera to open snapchat.
“Are you ready? You wanna make your sister jealous?” He asked.
“Oh for sure I do.” She said.
“One more thing though, I think this patch would look HOT on you don’t it? This would make you feel and act weird!” She added.
“What.. Oh well, just to make your sister happy I guess!” Both chuckled as she put on the patch.
Jeremy then begin to stutter as he finished taking the photo. He tried reaching for Xara but he just saw Xara standing in front of him before finally losing consciousness.
“You dumb fucking jock. It’s my time to take control of the controller.” Xara grinned.
She then swallowed one of the pills.
“Swallow one of those pills. Then do EXACTLY what you have practiced. When you’re a spirit, enter his body as soon as you can. Be careful though, some spirits might be lurking around in the shadows.”
She went closer to the unconscious Jeremy and started to enter his body. He was lying straight down with his head up, so she positioned herself in the same pose as him.
As her spirit sinks into the body of Jeremy, her arms begin to fit in his like a jacket, her legs began to sink to his legs like pants. She could feel the warmth of Jeremy’s body and the coldness of the floor as she starts to feel her senses return. As her body merges with his, she slowly felt the blood rush in, and later on, she placed her head onto his. It was like wearing a mask, pushing herself down his chin first then starting to see the world through his eyes. Then, it was finished. The possession is complete.
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Xara blinked twice to see that she was now laying down the floor. She smelled like sweat mixed with musk. She first got disgusted by the odor so she tried getting up.
Then she tried to open her phone just to see that the Face ID wasn’t working. She opened the camera then soon realized she succeeded. She IS Jeremy now.
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She then went to the mirror to feel her new body. Her shoulders were more large and formed, her chest flat, she touched Jeremy’s face and noticed that he had red parts on his skin.
“Wha..what…” She began to speak. She got shocked to how deep Jeremy’s voice is, and practiced speaking as to how he would do so.
“Hey it’s Jeremy! Your tiktoker influencer boy!” She chuckled. “I am going to have a LOT of FUN with this.”
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She opened the camera and started recording herself. “Hey Sheryl whats up? You want me huh? Well I’m finally gonna notice you and give you ALLL the love!! Hehehe!”, “Jeremy” said.
And as to her original body, she put her body near the benches for the people to discover. She then prepare to leave the gym, but then realized she didn’t know where Jeremy lived. Good thing she could open his phone and look at the Maps app.
“He” then started to drive back to his home. Yes, HIS home now. As he was pulling over to the nearby gas station, he saw an ambulance at the gym. She then soon realized it was her original body getting pulled away in a stretcher.
“Jeremy” then asked one of the gym people who discovered the woman and asked, “Yo, what happened to that lady over there?”
“Bro I heard the paramedics say she passed out from too much work out I think. Some even said she went to a coma. She’s getting taken to the hospital immediately and her relatives have been contacted.” the dude said.
“Well, that sucks. Sucks to be her right?”, “Jeremy” chuckles as “he” walked away.
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“He” then took a quick selfie of his patio.
“He” was a bit annoyed at how he smelled as he hasn’t changed his clothes yet, but did not bothered to change anyway as “he” ADORED this smell.
As Xara was laughing at Jeremy’s tiktoks, an idea came to her mind. She posted a snap with the caption, “I find all the Sheryl’s hot 🥵😍”. To her surprise, Sheryl, her bestfriend and crush, immediately replied to his snap story, saying “OMG MY NAME IS SHERYL XOXOOXO”. Xara didn’t know if she would be disappointed to how thirsty Sheryl was to Jeremy, or to be satisfied as she was NOW Jeremy.
“Jeremy” then began to make the move. “He” chatted her and the both began to flirt with each other. Jeremy and Sheryl were of the same age after all. Sheryl was so in love, and so is Jeremy, well not him but Xara. The both already said their interests, their horoscopes, zodiac signs, favorite Starbucks drinks, etc. It seemed like Jeremy and Sheryl seemingly share a lot of stuff with each other. The two already planned to meet, and Sheryl immediately wanted to be at a hotel already, but “Jeremy” told her to slow down.
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“He” then took a quick thirst trap selfie to Sheryl, to which she adored and died on.
“He” was overfilled with joy. “His” plans had successfully worked so good. It felt like nothing or no one could stop “him” now.
As the night comes, Xara had finished scrolling through Jeremy’s gallery, his bank accounts, and text messages. She did an hours long study of his life, how he should act, and his friends and relatives. Her stalking made her tired, so she figured that she needed to take some sleep.
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As she slowly lies down to rest though, Jeremy’s father came home.
“Jeremy! How’s my boy!” his dad excitingly asked.
“I’m.. I’m good.. father.” “Jeremy” nervously said.
“Father?!? What am I a priest? HAHAHAAHAH!” His dad laughed and they both giggled.
“What is that on your chest? Injured yourself?”
His dad was curious. Xara got more nervous. Her acts were starting to fall apart.
“Hold on a second. Are you taking steroids my boy? What’s going on?” Jeremy’s dad grew more curious.
“It’s.. it’s nothing! I swear! I’m fine dad!” “He” tried to back away.
“Are you taking steroids?!? Drugs?? Answer me! Why are you acting so weird??”, his dad grew more concerned.
Xara panicked and tried to run away, but Jeremy’s dad pulled Jeremy’s patch and immediately, Jeremy lost consciousness.
“Jeremy! What happened! Are you okay????” His dad tried to wake him up.
Jeremy then woke up. “What.. what happened??” He asked. “I was just at the gym earlier… I don’t remember anything.. I feel drugged..” He added while panting.
Xara was then standing behind them, but now as a spirit. Without a body she could no longer put the patch back. She was hopeless and defeated. She then got warped back to her body, where she woke up at the hospital.
— THE END... for now -
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