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#thorin company
trashcancalicojack · 5 months
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The company: So what's for dinner?
Bombur: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!
The company: ...
Gloin: Is it soup?
Bombur: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Dwalin: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Bombur: Wow, you're soup-per mean
Thorin: STOP
*one hour later*
The company: It's fucking roast beef?!?!?!?
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kierancaz · 9 months
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Replying to your request for prompts:
Could you write a super cute fic of Reader being on the quest with the other dwarves, and having extreme menstrual cramps, and the dwarves being overly gentle, kind, and worrying? maybe even thorin uncharacteristically gently rubbing her back as she curls up beneath her blanket?
The Company When You Have Cramps
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warnings: female parts/female reader, menstruation, cramps, lmk if there's anything else !!
having woman parts sucked. and you were well aware of this when you set out on the journey to The Lonely Mountain with Thorin's company and prepared accordingly.
however, what you weren't prepared for, was cramps so bad they could rival the power of the gods (or so you thought).
you had carried on traveling for as long as could until the pain was quiet literally unbearable and you were ready to double over and just lay in the middle of the road.
at first you thought that the others would be mad or just tell you to suck it up and keep moving, but actually it was the exact opposite. they stopped and started setting up camp for the night and Oin even asked why you didn't speak up sooner seeing as you where in so much discomfort.
they didn't have any issues with you rolling out your bed mat and curling up like a ball with your blanket while they set up camp. you wished you help but you were in so much pain you didn't even think you could get up if you wanted to.
Bomber started cooking shortly after everything was set up and the fire was started. Oin had mixed together some herbs and it dulled the pain slightly but it wasn't much help, you were still in a lot of pain.
dwarves don't have a lot of women in their ranks, so imagine they take these struggles and the pain that women go though very seriously. they treat their women with the upmost respect and care.
as you laid there curled up with your head just barely peaking out from over your blanket Thorin came and squatted down in front of you. he has a sister, so I imagine he's pretty familiar with the struggles you're dealing with.
"how are you feeling?" he asks and after a moment you sit up properly next to him. "pretty shit actually."
he chuckles at your remark and hands you some warm soup, when you take it he moves his hand away to rub your back soothingly. the others are pretty preoccupied so they don't notice his sweet gesture, but you're very grateful for it.
Oin gives you more herbs after you eat and Ori joins you for a bit to talk and ask if you're alright. Fili and Kili also join you to joke around for a bit and try and get you to take your mind off the miserable state you were in. this actually works.
Bilbo also joins in on just talking with you when the others have to go do stuff like snuff out the fire or start their turn keeping watch. he brings you water and snacks/more food because food makes everything better. He is also the only one who thought to get something heated for you to put on your stomach.
he takes your water pack and as the fire is going down he places it close by and lets it heat up for a while, then he gives it you. he's very sad he doesn't have tea to offer you.
every once in a while someone will come up to you and ask if you're ok and if you need anything. just as everyone was getting ready for bed Thorin checks on you again and Oin gives you some herbs for sleep.
when you wake up you're convinced that whatever Oin gave you before you went to sleep wasn't just to ease pain and make you tired because you felt better than ever. you definitely had a spring in your step for the rest of the day.
the company was glad to see you feeling better and you helped them clean up and get back on the road. no one complained about having to stop and instead checked up on you throughout the journey to make sure you were still feeling ok.
anyway all of these guys are angles and I love them. they would def be worried and would tell you that if you're ever in pain from cramps or something again to let them know so they could stop for a bit and give you herbs.
(also if Gandalf was around when you were dealing with all that he def would've sat there with his pipe and let you smoke some of it. You know, just to keep you relaxed lol).
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my-beloved-kili · 11 days
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Decided to watch some of the production videos again and nothing gets me quite like seeing Richard Armitage zoning out while dressed as Thorin wrapped in spiderwebs and using Orcrist as a guitar
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cutie4560 · 6 months
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Company of Oakensheild :
Circus AU
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Thorin: Ringmaster
Bilbo: Costume Manager
Fili: Knife Throwing
Kili: Archer
Balin: Backstage Supervisor
Dwalin: Strong Man
Gloin: Ticket Salesman
Oin: Stand by Medic
Dori: Poodle Dancer
Nori: Sword Juggler
Ori: Clown in training
Bofur: Top Clown
Bifur: Retired Axe Thrower
Bombur: Circus Cook
Others
Thranduil: Tightrope Walker
Tauriel: Acrobat
Legolas: Acrobat
Bard: Head of Tent Setup
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frogmaster · 7 months
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Whenever I think back to The Hobbit as my comfort films the phrase always comes to mind Is
"Maybe because i'm scared, and he give me courage"
One of the most underrated phrase of lotr universe for me
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estethell · 19 days
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zaynes-nieve · 1 year
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Bilbo Baggins is the Grandson of the Thain which is most like royalty in any other culture except to the shire having to constantly correct his dwarves that no. No he isn't a prince. We don't have royalty in the shire. I bet it makes no sense to everyone else the conversation is literally like
Kili: Alright so let me get this straight. You are the grandson of the technical ruler of the Shire. Your little hole-
Fili: Simal-
Kili: Is coveted enough and super nice by the way, and also to be Thain it is an inherited title from the Thain heirs. Also you happen to be richer than the average hobbit and yet- your not royalty
Bilbo: Mhm. We don't have such things in the shire such tedious work. We only need our simals, good food and proper etiquette. That is the proper hobbit way
They never get through to him it's a running challenge, the closest was Balin. Then Erebor happens and All of them live because what is reality? Never heard of her and all three of the Durin like are drugged out of their mind and are not able to lift the ban from Erebor and as such he needed to leave.
Of course fucking Thorin Oakenshield emo king under the god damn mountain would instead of thinking rationally on the fact that he gave an order to have Bilbo thrown out of Erebor before the battle, nope Bilbo just despises him now, can't even look at him. But he needs to atone even if Bilbo never wants to see him again and so him along with the company - which mind you is still very much in contact with their Hobbit who is telling them about the adorable little flaunting his cousin just had.- Time continuity what? But of course they are totally down for telling everyone about their brave burglar, Bilbo the Dragon Riddler, The Barrel Rider. He is the best story tale in a good while in Erebor. Everyone is interested in the non dwarf of the kings company, who has a room that is prepped and ready. Who saved all the Durin line. And then of course as we shippers exist in every god forsaken place. People start to question the relationship between The Burglar and Their King. He visits the room often, the maids whisper to eachother. The Hobbit returned even after being threatened to save their King and his sons. He fought Azog not once but twice! and saved the company from more than that.
Then, one of the princes let the familiar joke that followed all the way from the shire. About Bilbo be royalty and then it just clicked. Assumptions are definitely made. Of course. The Company's Burglar wouldn't have left so suddenly like that. He was a prince! He had his duties. They are star crossed lovers unable to be with each other with their own lands to run. Maybe a marriage proposal will happen in the near future once Erebor is back to it's formal glory
Thorin is wondering how this got blown out of proportion. The Company and Dis are enjoying the hell out of it, maybe their King will stop being stupid and go after their burglar already
However years pass by quickly and Bilbo's letters start to slow. Eventually we hit LOTR era. Bilbo is old, he wants to go on one last adventure. He gives all his possessions to Frodo. To see Erebor one last time but his age catches up with him in Rivendell. He still writes to his dwarves telling them all they need to know that one day he will pass, to say goodbye.
Of course all the dwarves are not going to let this slide. Leave their Hobbit alone to pass? With ELVES?!?! Hell No. So of course all of the dwarves are packing up, they were already heading over their anyways because of something the elves wanted to talk about anyways and so the Company, Dis and Gimli set out along with the appropriate amount of guards.
Bilbo is surprised but happy to see his old friends though he is getting stared at a bit too often for his tastes. But nevertheless he is willing to let it go and learn more about the time that he missed with everyone
MEANWHILE Frodo and the other hobbits are on their way to Rivendell. And all of them are supposed to see dwarves, multiple, willingly in Rivendell, hell some are even being civil. Of course questioning is involved and Frodo unknowingly let it's slip out he is a Baggins. Abd the Dwarves are going feral, greeting from all over, Praises for his uncle so on and so forth, they practically bully him to his uncle's room who is surrounded by 15 dwarves.
Bilbo is very happy to see him safe and sound. The company is very happy to put a face to the name and then Bilbo probably makes a comment on Bag End which is now in Frodos possession and everyone once again assume that Frodo is now the current Duke/Prince of Bad End LFMAO
Which then starts over the argument all over again in the Fellowship now with three other hobbits backing Frodo up.
Thorin obviously grovels and Bilbo is very willing to go back to Erebor if he can and if not Thorin is staying with him.
I lost the original person I was gonna reblog off of and I'm sure one of y'all know it so post them in my comments and I'll add them.
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I remember last night I had a mini games with my brother. He had to said all the Dwarves's name from the Thorin's company. And he literally said "Dwalin, Balin, and STALIN... Something like that, and then Thorin..." And today this pict shows up on my pinterest, and now I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣
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I am literally wheezing 🤣🤣🤣
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unicorngunter · 4 months
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Happy 10th anniversary to my favourite part of The Hobbit trilogy!
AUJ anniversary art, support me with commission
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trashcancalicojack · 1 year
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Thorin: Whenever Bilbo is mad at me, I go and tighten the lids on all of our jars so he has to get help from me.
*sound of glass breaking in the background*
Thorin: It hasn't worked yet, but it will happen
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mathelaw · 2 months
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screamingcatus · 3 months
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Bilbo and the company
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mrkida-art · 10 months
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remembrance
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cutie4560 · 7 months
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Tale of Shail
Ch 1: Will You Join Us?
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Thorin Oakensheild and his twelve dwarves traveled to the Shire to recruit their fourteenth member, Master Baggins. An alleged burglar, spoken so highly of by Gandalf the Gray. The simple hobbit was plucked from his comfy and safe dwelling to embark on a journey and reclaim a lost kingdom. Traveling on horseback, the company took the eastern road. The wind blew across the treetops making the leaves dance. Gandalf rode enjoying the peaceful pace. "Ah good old Toby, care for some my dear Bilbo?" offering his pipe to the hobbit. Bilbo graciously declined the offer as the group came to a sudden halt. Gandalf pulled on his reins calling up to Thorin, "Why are we stopping now?"
Ignoring the wizard's question, Thorin commanded "Dwalin, Fili, follow me. The rest of you stay here until we return!" Thorin turned back to the path ahead, eyeing a distant sign of trouble. The remaining company, although confused, obeyed their king's order. Kili was not as easily swayed. While the others kept to themselves, Kili instead began to gallop towards the three.
"Thorin, what's this all about then? Our travel has already been delayed by that buttoned up halfing. Now we're wasting time; chasing squirrels and striking every brushing bush." Dwalin grumbled.
Thorin answered while pointing to the sky "Best our travel be delayed than ambushed. Look." His finger followed the trail down showing its origin. "Be on guard, nothing is safe out here." Thorin warned. Dismounting their ponies, the three walked the grounds seeing an open fire with a hen roasting on a spit. Kili secured his pony next to Fili's. He hid behind shrubs. Fili heard the rustling, turning back all he saw were four horses, nothing unusual. Wait, four? Fili rubbed his eyes then held his growling stomach. He was starting to get hungry and the delicious smell of something roasting wasn't helping. Concluding that he must be seeing things, Fili returned to his uncle.
Thorin found a full pack amongst the campground. Going through it, he pulled out a pouch with a boar symbol embroidered into the leather "This is from the Iron Hill…" He observed the surroundings. A single tent was pitched. Hanging from a line was a couple of wet tunics. Handing the pouch over to Dwalin, Thorin went to inspect the shelter. The tent's cloth consisted mostly of flimsy patchwork. Pulling back the flap, Thorin peeked in. Inside laid out a tattered sleeping bag, a pile of dirty dented tin dishes, and a pair of black disheveled boots flopped over in the corner.
Dwalin carefully searched through the sack. Flipping it upside down he violently shook out its contents. A sharpening kit, steel pegs, wooden hammer, glass bottles, and small miscellaneous items. Finding nothing of interest Dwalin dropped the sack. He went on exploring the campground.
Over the campfire was a small chicken roasting on a spit. Fili, smacking his lips, followed the scent of cooking meat. The juices dripped, sizzling on the flames. Fili went to pull off a drumstick when he noticed a large weapon leaning against the tree. He squinted to identify an emblem, a boar? Just then A hand grabbed his shoulder. "AHH!" The prince screamed in shock. Turning around Fili saw his younger brother.
Pieces of foliage were in Kili's hair and clothes. Whipping them off his face dropped from a grin to flushed embarrassment and guilt. He shushed Fili, afraid of being reprimanded by Thorin. "Me shush? You shush!" Fili lowered his tone. Although he was irritated, he didn't want to attract his uncle's attention or the unknown camper. "By Durin, I could have carved you up, sneaking up on me like that. I-...what are you doing here? Uncle told you to stay back." He angrily whispered, even fearing Thorin's wrath for Kili's sake.
"My skills were no use back there; just tinkers and miners prepping for a snack. I would have cut the bread wrong. Besides, if the three of you found yourselves in trouble I would be here to save you." Kili argued his case.
"Ha! YOU save ME? Tell me, who helped you up onto your pony this morning?" Fili laughed, tussling his brother's hair. The two exchanged a few brotherly arm smacks and shoves. Fili wrestled Kili onto the ground. Too focused on the tussle, the brothers neglected their volume. Pinned to the ground Kili laughed, he then soon squealed as Fili snorted and hung a line of drool above his face. Kili closed his eyes and squirmed trying to break loose. When he opened his eyes, Kili saw a figure behind his brother darkened by the morning sun.
Grabbing the back of Fili's coat collar Dwalin yanked him off Kili. "What are you two idiots doing?!" Dwalin impatiently scolded the boys. "This is no place to be playing around."
"It was only a bit of fun mister Dwalin." Kili said, getting up.
Throin rejoins the now three dwarves."Kili! You were to stay back with the others." He scolded his nephew. Hearing a noise the hair on Thorin's neck stood up, "Let's get back, something isn't right."
"Let's go." Dwalin said as the three walked back to the horses.
Fili took the opportunity to nab up a new weapon. His boot stepped on a pile of leaves triggering a hidden net trap. Fili was swept up hanging in a tree. "Fili! Quick cut him down!" Thorin yelled running over, Kili and Dwalin each pulled out a knife sawing at the ropes.
Demounting from their steads, the company took a moment to stretch. Their limbs hurt from riding so many hours straight. Bombur took the opportunity to prepare a small snack; nobody opposed and even helped. Bofur hopped off his pony, heading to the bushes. Bilbo panicked as Bofur trailed off from the group "Where are you going? Thorin said to stay here." The hobbit interrogated.
"Don't worry, just gonna release a stream before I burst. Been holding it in since that last hill peak." he said, pushing through the low branches of a bush. Bilbo, appalled by the lack of manners, walked away with a scowl.
"Curse these dwarves. Contracted to embark on an allegedly dangerous and honorable journey, and what does it entail? Stopping for luncheon, naps under shady oak trees, chirp listening and cloud watching! To think, I turned my anxieties into courage only to be faced with pleasures of Shire in unknown woods. Ha! Perhaps this burgling business won't be so difficult after all. I should hope any forest creatures are politely mindful about sharing their berries and seeds. O-or bandits and rouges would be well versed in folklore to discuss great novels. And the great mountain dragon will be the gracious host of afternoon tea!" Bilbo's worry was making him delirious. The Gray Wizard noticed the hobbit's distressed spiraling. He chuckled to himself then approached the halfling to provide much needed comfort.
"Bilbo, my lad. You seem stressed by factors of your own conjuring. Why not stop and breathe? Look around and intake your new surroundings. I'm certain you've never witnessed russulas like these in the Shire before, have you?" Gandalf encouraged.
"Incredible. Any hobbit would be so ecstatic to come across such a fungi. They'd throw themselves down hills to snag a cap." Bilbo answered sarcastically. The wizard laughed at his friend's attitude, allowing Bilbo to lighten up and share a chuckle as well. "Joking aside, Gandalf, this is not what I expected of this quest. I'm not opposed to postponing sudden death at any turn. However, the prolonging of any unforeseen dangers is growing my paranoia. We are undoubtedly overdue for a mishap."
"Indeed we are." Gandalf agreed under his breath, looking out to the dark of the trees. He looked back to the uneasy hobbit "..And this isn't your first journey? Hahaha." The two shared a laugh again. "Come, Bilbo. Let us roam these grounds and clear our minds. We'll need them to be sharp for the well-read bandits you plan on running into." They wandered off, sparking some Old Tobey.
"Oh yeah…" Bofur sighed after relieving himself. Fixing himself, Bofur was ready to join the others when something caught his attention. Walking deeper into the woods, he found a stump housing a pile of fresh picked berries placed on a leaf. "Well, well look at this. Someone left Bofur a lil treat." The hungry dwarf popped one in his mouth. "Delicious! Odd it being here, but who am I to argue on an empty stomach." Picking up the leaf, Bofur took the snack to go. So enamored by the berries' juices, Bofur was too engaged in licking his fingers to notice a lurking presence. When Bofur turned to head back, the berries flew out of his hand from being startled. A hooded figure stood in front of him. "Where'd you come from? Sorry, were these yours?" He asked. Backing away slowly, Bofur bumped into the stump. He continued to walk backwards around the obstacle, still receiving no reply from the stranger. "Listen, just an honest mistake. I can go pick you some more!" He offered with a worrisome smile. A subtle sound below him drew his attention. Bofur looked down to see his foot in a hidden rope loop. "Uh oh." He said before being snagged by a snare trap. Bofur yelled as he was dragged across the ground up into a tree. His hat fell to the ground and Bofur hung upside down. "Y-you made this trap? Mighty talented! Hehe. H-hard to catch dwarves, being that we are sooooo hefty!" He awkwardly chuckled. His nervous smile shifted into a frown as the stranger approached. They drew out a dwarven dagger from behind their lower back. "Coming to cut me some slack, yeah? HehehehaaAAAHHH! BOMBUR! BIFUR! ANYBODY, HELP!"
With ears of a fox, Gloin heard Bofur's distant cries. He shushed his brother's ramblings to listen harder. The deaf dwarf didn't notice and continued to go on about directions. "So I believe we need to go to the end of this treeline until we hit these sharp looking pointy bits. Once we climb those ridges we'll be to the riverbend. Sure it looks wee bit spooky but it'll cut our commute in half. Right Gl-...Gloin?" The redhead had walked away.
Gloin gathered Nori, Bifur, Balin, and Dori to check out the commotion. "Probably got his member snagged to a thornbush" Gloin joked. The five, thinking nothing of the scenario, headed into the dense woods. Gloin, although, carried his ax.
"You plan on ending his misery by cutting it off?" Nori laughed as he gestured to the ax.
"Gotta be prepared. Always." Gloin explained. Ori agreed and with a heavy stick, joined behind his brothers. The two turned around and commanded him to stay. "I can help!" Ori pleaded
"Whatcha gonna do? Poke em?" Nori snickered. Dori smacked his arm and gently turned Ori around and guided him to walk back.
"You've got a very important responsibility here to watch over our resources. We'd be nothing without the supplies, and wouldn't last another day." Dori smiled then returned to the fleeting group.
"Watch over my 'tatoes. I like em warm, not burnt. Haha-OW!" Dori smacked Nori upside the head for teasing. The young dwarf huffed and threw the stick to the ground. He was too upset to pay attention where it landed and almost tripped. Ori sat in the company of the remaining two dwarves, Bombur sat silently cooking and eating while Oin was holding an entire conversation by himself. Ori sighed, he knew he was more skilled than this. Bombur offered him a biscuit, Ori took and ate it.
The group of five dwarves urgently followed the sounds of Bofur's yells as they became louder. Out from the bushes, Nori and Gloin charged with battle cries. Both halted when they came across the scene. Seeing Bofur hung while a stranger stood underneath, Nori ran over to attack. The sound of metal clanked as the two daggers met. The two struggled, using their body weights to shove the daggers closer. Breaking off, the stranger dodged Nori's attack. The mystery opponent tripped on their cloak, falling to the ground. Gloin grunted as he swung his ax, aiming for their face. The stranger rolled out of the way in time to avoid it. They sprung up to punch Nori and pivoted to sidekick Gloin's gut. Thrown off, both men dropped their weapons. As the others joined in, the stranger nabbed Gloin's ax. The dangerous tool was swung around frantically with skillful care. The company kept an open perimeter. "CUT ME LOOSE, FOR DURIN'S SAKE!" Bofur yelled. Balin evaded combat to get Bofur down. The stranger saw Balin's effort and chucked the ax at him. The throw just missed, the blade landing right behind the back of Balin's heel. Bofur yelped as his hat dropped down. It fell on Balin's head. The oldest dwarf grunted and threw it off to focus on the task at hand. The hat landed on the stranger's face, obscuring their vision. Bifur and Dori took the opportunity to restrain the assailant while they were blinded, each dwarf grabbing an arm. Bofur kicked and spun around trying to help Balin with his escape "I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick."
"Stay still laddie." Balin fussed with the mechanism's knot. It was anchored to a tree with rough bark, the friction helped to hold the contraption together. The stranger threw themselves backwards onto the ground, Dori and Bifur collided heads and released their holds. The stranger tossed Bofur's hat aside and charged at the oldest dwarf. However, the second their palms made light contact with Balin's shoulders, an unexpected force tackled them to the ground. They landed with a painful grunt as the wind was knocked out of them.
"No one attacks my brother!" Dwalin yelled, pinning down the culprit's wrists up to their ears. Their legs flailed less and less under Dwalin as they coughed. Yanking off the hood, Dwalin revealed a female dwarf. "Durin's name…what's this?" Instinctively, he yielded his strength and blushed. The giant brute was embarrassed for her, having to be on top of this poor lass.
"That dwarf there scared mah kill away!" She snarled, regaining a steady breath. The stranger had the same growly dialect as Dwalin and Gloin.
"What is going on here?" Thorin demanded to know as he approached, his nephews following right behind.
"She was going to stab Bofur." Gloin answered, rubbing his hurt stomach.
Thorin with a furrowed brow cut Bofur free. He dropped to the ground and let out a groan of pain. Bofur caught his breath, giving Thorin a thumbs up. Through gritted teeth, Thorin barked an order at Fili and Kili "Get him up." The two pulled Bofur to his feet and Kili handed his hat back. Thorin kneeled beside Dwalin to inspect the attacker and took out a dagger. He pressed the blade against her neck as he questioned her. "Is this true? You tried killing one of my dwarves?"
"No, I was gonna cut 'em loose, and have a friendly talk." She answered him with a sarcastic tone. Thorin put some pressure, not enough to draw blood but his patience was wearing thin. Sensing now is not the time for games, she composed herself. "I just need me rope back, I have no interest in you townies. Now can you let me up?" She asked, looking up at Dwalin. He turned to his king for an answer. The two exchanged no words, but with a single small nod Thorin gave Dwalin the okay to release her. Climbing off, Dwalin offered her a hand up. She took it resentfully and was pulled back onto her feet. She looked over the tarnished rope in frustration "Took me hours ta set that trap; I was gonna catch a stag this time 'round." She spoke out loud.
"You set all these traps yourself? What of the one back at the campsite?" Thorin interrogated. He began to piece together this stranger. She's alone and has been for quiet some time since her skills were immaculate yet scrappy.
"You set those off too?! Gilthok meIf! Haven't wasted enough of me supplies already!" She yelled out in aggravation. Salvaging what she could, the lass stormed off back towards her campsite. The dwarves, making sure she wasn't up to anything malicious, followed behind on the way back to their site.
Balin walked alongside Thorin to discuss more about the she-dwarf. Thorin huffed at his proposed notion. "Balin, you're considering asking that… wild lander to join my company?" Thorin asked defensively. "She started trouble with my company and had no qualms with killing one, under no threat too. We know nothing of her intentions being out here."
"All I am saying is the lass has a valuable set of skills, Thorin. Obviously she knows how to survive in the wild. And what do we have? Gloin, the fire maker?" He asked, both looking over at the disheveled Gloin still groaning in pain. "You know, as do I. We need all the help we can find" Balin reasoned. Thorin crossed his arms, snubbing the idea. Balin chuckled, giving Thorin's shoulder a pat."You leave it to me." He assured the king. As they approached the company's site, the dwarves tensed up. They were ready to brawl again if the newcomer were to do anything unpredictable to their supplies or other members. However, the stranger continued to walk ahead at full speed with no intention of stopping.
Ori used the big stick he tripped over to now draw in the dirt. He was just finishing the details of a lovely liatris sketch when suddenly a stomping foot ruined his work. "Hey!" He looked up to scowl at Nori, but it wasn't his brother. In fact, it was a dwarf he did not recognize. The figure was not engaged in his whine and marched forward. She was walking so intently to her campsite that she didn't notice, nor cared, that she stepped on Bombur's cooked sausages.
Balin, trying to save face, called out and tried to catch up as she walked away. "Tell me lass, what can I call you?"
Looking back at the white haired dwarf, she turned away and answered."I'm called Shail."
"Lovely name. Means "radiant" n' "warrior", very fitting. A lass like yourself in these lands must be off on a journey. Any thought of where you are going? Maybe to the Blue Mountains, or the Iron Hills in the north?" Balin questioned, trying to receive any information. Shail turned around impatiently and finally spoke to the dwarf.
"Nowhere specific. The better question is where are you all off to? The Blue Mountains are back thada way. And none of ya seem like Iron Hill natives. So if all thirteen of ya are traveling there, it must be for business. And ya won't get much business there without no merchandise to haggle. Wouldn't ya agree?" She mouthed off.
"Yes, I'd suppose" He answered taken aback by her abrasiveness. When she turned to walk away again, he knew he had to cut to the chase. The lass' attention was short. "Though that is not were we are heading. No, you see we are off to the Lonely Mountain." Balin informed.
Stopping in her tracks, Shail turned back for the last time and looked in disbelief at him. "I know of only one dwarf who'd think of traveling back to that mountain..." Looking at the stoic black haired dwarf, "Thorin Oakensheild son of Thrain?...So the stories are true." She whispered under her breath.
"Yes, they are." Thorin confirmed walking up to her. He wore a stern look, towering over her. "Most of these dwarves aren't as advanced in survival as you seem to be."
She looked over Thorin's right shoulder to see what characters were in her presence. Shail watched as Bilbo flinched at a horse fly. The strange soft creature blew air and waved the bug away "No shite. I'd say before nightfall you lose half of them. Sorry, I don't travel with townies anyway." She disclaimed with sass.
"Townies?" Kili asked from the back. Thorin looked to the nosey prince, giving his nephew a glare.
"Townies; the folks who live in large packs. All soft and fragile, afraid of messing up your locks." She degraded. "The lot of ya just don't fit in with the wild. At least it don't look that way…" She went to inspect the members one by one. "Here let's take a look at ya. Come here!" She said tugging at a few of them. The lot became a bit defensive, unsure what she was up to. Shail chuckled at their fear. "How well can ya see in the dark?" She asked, looking into Fili's eyes. Shail then used one hand to pry his eye open wider. The prince stepped back and rubbed the irritated area. Turning briskly, she yelled into Oin's trumpet,"What about yer HEARING!?" The old dwarf flinched and groaned at the verbal assault. "Know how ta handle a weapon? Do ya even have one?" She asked Ori. She rummaged through his bag and pulled out his slingshot. "Well this doesn't seem too handy." Tossing it back to him without care, she went on. Ori fumbled the item when caught then held it dearly. "What about hiding your musk? Let's have a smell." grabbing Dori, she took a whiff of his forearm. "Ugh, you smell just like a townie! You need a good mud bath." She said before being shooed away. "I don't come for free either. So what can the great Thorin Oak-en-sheild offer me?" She asked in a mocking tone.
"A portion of Erebor's riches shall be yours!" Balin promised. He went to retrieve a contract from his satchel.
Grabbing the paper, Shail skimmed over it. "So I'd get a bunch of shiny bits?" She asked. Giving a nod, Balin was halted by the abrupt laughter. "I don't need that useless stuff. So I guess you can't offer me anything." Shail went, shoving the parchment onto Balin's chest. "Have fun getting eaten up by that dragon." Parting through the company, a scent caught her attention. She turned to the very large ginger dwarf and asked "Is that a tasty smell?" Bombur held an iced pastry in one hand while nibbling on another. "Well you can give it here." She went to snatch it, but Fili got to the sweet first. He tossed it over to his uncle.
Catching it, Thorin changed the offer on the spot. "I can offer you three meals a day and these so-called 'tasties' whenever accessible." Walking up to her, Thorin waved the dessert cake in Shail's face. "Better to have a meal offered than to chase one down. So , do you say? Will you join us?" He asked.
Shail's eyes followed the treat. "Double my servings on the meals and tasties. I also get first pick on a sleeping area. And get me as close to the Iron Hills as ye can. There, we can part ways..." She counter offered, holding out a hand. The two shook on it. She was officially a part of the company. Snatching her sweet, Shail gave the king a coy grin and took a bite.
"There, Bilbo. You are in a much better state than before." Gandalf assured, cleaning out the burnt Old Tobey from his pipe. The hobbit nodded with a cheery grin.
"Yes. I think I just need to take a little walk and get away from all of that commotion. Now, I am relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to contribute to this quest" He agreed. The content mood slowly dissolved as he approached the campsite. The dwarves were all packed up and began to move again. He wondered, would they have continued without the hobbit and wizard? Leaving them to fend for themselves stranded in the woods? Did they even notice the two were gone? The members rode past the hobbit, the only one to greet him back was Bofur.
"You all seem to be in such a rush just to be going the wrong way." Gandalf inquired as he looked to the direction he thought the map called for. He stood still while the company went by below him
"We have an unforeseen detour to take first." Thorin gruffed as he rode past the wizard.
"'Unforeseen?'" Bilbo asked, but the king did not answer.
"We have to stop by Shail's campsite to gather supplies." Balin explained riding away from the halfling. Bilbo stammered and was left in his tracks with no answers. The hobbit turned around in confusion and called out to anyone listening ahead of him.
"Whose Shail?" He yelled out.
"Keep yer voice down, you'll get us killed! Ya tryna let the wolves know that suppers' soon?" Shail warned as she rode past. The hobbit was damned. A lady dwarf. He was shocked by the vision in front of him. She did look the part as he had imagined but never thought he would ever witness one in his life. Shail cracked a knot on each side of her neck then spit on the ground. She was a dwarf alright.
"...Is she riding Mrytle?"
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idontcarecarebear · 5 months
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I love comparing book Thorin and to movie Thorin especially when they first meet Bilbo and book Thorin lands flat on his face being crushed by Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, pulls out a beautiful harp that he’s been carrying the whole time to the shire and even after they leave the shire, gives compliments to Bilbo about being a generous host and talks about the hair on his feet and movie Thorin just saunters in looking like a sexy mysterious man in the night ready to whisk away poor Bilbo but his brain wasn’t working quick enough to keep up with the charade and insults Bilbo instead.
And I love both of them and would love it if they both met and thought the other version was a complete moron.
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estethell · 20 days
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I want Thorin's company to form a rugby team. Bilbo will be the coach, Gandalf will be the #1 fan
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