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frasier-crane-style · 4 years

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Terminator: Dark Fate

I have no idea how TSCC came up with two seasons’ worth of innovative scenarios about Terminators and these cinematic universe motherfuckers can only redo T2 with more CGI.

This movie is plotless. It has no real plot. It’s like Now That’s What I Call A Terminator Movie! There are so many callbacks and borrowings from all the other Terminator movies that it passes the point of homage and just becomes plagiarism. The bad Terminator is the same as the T-X, metal endoskeleton with a T-1000 shell. They kill him with a Terminator power core. They say Come With Me If You Want To Live and I’ll Be Back (twice! It’s the first thing Sarah Connor says and it makes no sense in context, it’s just something people say in Terminator movies). In fact, it has anti-plot, since it undoes a lot of the story developments in Terminator and T2.

The premise is basically just we’re going to remake Terminator 1, but people don’t like reboots, so we’re going to bring back Linda Hamilton and make it a technically kinda sorta sequel (sure, Skynet was wiped from existence, but another, completely different, yet exactly the same AI called Legion was created and did the exact same thing. Which also happened in T3, but they had the decency to still call it Skynet). But otherwise, it’s entirely people being chased by an evil robot from the future and trying to destroy it.

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. T2 had the whole thing about preventing Judgment Day before it happened. T3 had Judgment Day actually happen. This one, nothing. There is nothing going on under the surface other than a bunch of action sequences and explosions. Even T3 got some mileage out of the idea that Judgment Day was inevitable. Here, our cast learns that Judgment Day was already ‘averted’ once slash that it’s destined to be repeated and they basically go “Eh. Figures.” I’m not kidding.

Wait, that’s not fair. Let’s count out the TWEEESTS.

1. In a very contrived way, the script waits an hour and a half to actually explain why heroine Dani has been targeted for termination--you know, the thing Kyle Reese explained to Sarah Connor the moment they were out of danger--all to set up this big ‘reveal’ that Dani isn’t the NuSarah, she’s the NuJohn (yes, they actually say this aloud, just so you soup sandwich motherfuckers in the audience get it). Hear that, neckbeards, John Connor is now a woman! And Mexican! And she’s got a bit of a gay vibe, because it’s 2019 and God forbid we have a heroine that isn’t a bit bicurious. If she has a cock and balls, my bingo card will be a winner.

2. Months after killing John Connor and thus completing his mission, an Arnold-model Terminator started a family (wow, that was quick) and learned the value of human life and eventually switched sides. This is a crazy new idea that also happened in Terminator: Genebissss, so it’s done and dusted in ten minutes, even though Arnold is the most engaging character. (He’s saddled with a lot of yuk lines about how he’s a comically serious Terminator, yet (teehee) works as an interior decorator, but at least he has a personality.)

3. The other good Terminator is Grace, who needs meds to keep up her cyborg strength or she’ll crash (this never affects the plot) (it’s like they read something about Rey Palpatine having no flaws and so they decided to give Grace the ‘flaw’ of literally having her own Kryptonite). She’s not a Terminator, she’s an augmented human, which means she can make MCU-style wisecracks every five minutes. (”I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s because you’re not a cybernetic super soldier from the future.” Actual dialogue.)

4. Linda Hamilton is back, baby! Yes, that’s right, they dragged her away from doing guest spots on Lost Girl! Can you believe???? She’s become a Terminator hunter that ambushes Terminators as they come back from the future and destroys them, because Skynet was both able to send back an infinite number of Terminators AND because now they can easily be destroyed by one five-hundred-year-old woman.

This makes it a bit confusing why they have so much trouble taking out Ghost Rider, given that he’s a T-1000 skin with a creamy T-800 center. It seems like if you hammer him enough, he’s got no endoskeleton, and that’s all she wrote. That’s what happened to the T-X. Can his liquid metal skin just walk around without the other half of him? If so, what’s the point of the endoskeleton? The T-1000 managed without it and that seemed a lot harder to kill. At one point, Sarah hits the bare endoskeleton with a bazooka, which seems like it should’ve been a mortal blow, but it’s the first act, so I guess not.

And is it supposed to be funny that the opening takes place in a car factory where (in 2019!) the human workers are losing their assembly line jobs to machines? Because they’re all Mexicans? None of them ever look at a Terminator and go THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, but man, that one is all teed up for the Rifftrax boys.

For a movie with, as I said, no plot, it’s very rushed. They seem to be saying “yeah, it’s a dumb Terminator movie, you know the score,” (even tho it’s halfway aimed at people who aren’t Terminator fans; more on that in a minute) because it seems to take all of ten minutes for both good guys and bad guys to find Dani and start getting into CGI stunt double fights, which means the story has very little time to breathe and we have very little time to get to know any of the characters. The bad guy spawns practically at Dani’s front door! And pretty much does everything by massacring a bunch of people and then hacking a computer. The T-1000 had some intelligence, some charisma. This guy’s a big nothing.

And the Dani character is useless. She starts the story already super assertive, is barely traumatized at all by her loved ones being killed and her own life being endangered. There’s none of that relatable feel of an everyman suddenly being told they have a grand destiny and an incredible responsibility, because right from the start she’s standing up to her mean boss and doing the Nevertheless She Persisted thing. And all this while being literally five feet tall and looking all of twelve years old.

I love these Spy Kids movies.

And at least the original two movies were smart enough to leave the future John Connor mostly to the imagination. This one actually shows us Dani as grizzled military badass, beating up guys and delivering inspiring speeches (would it surprise you to know that humans fighting among each other “is exactly what Legion wants”?), and it’s just--oh man. If ever a political leader is enough to make people think back to the good old days of Trump and Biden...

And if we’re going to talk shit (rightfully) about Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese not being at all scruffy or traumatized or feral, it should be noted that Grace seems pretty well-adjusted for a post-apocalyptic guerrilla fighter (who all wear Starship Trooper uniforms). Aside from a tendency to smash the face in of everyone she comes across, whether they’ve done anything to deserve it or not (Sample dialogue, to a doctor who is looking at her X-rays after performing life-saving surgery on her: “Did I give you permission to look at my private parts?” SMASH. No, really!)

They really go all in on this cringey, woke af “You’re not the mother of some MAN, Dani. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!” And yet, there’s a hilarious amount of toxic masculinity in this movie, just without the dongs. About every other line Sarah and Grace have is generic tough guy bullshit about how they’re going to kick someone’s ass, how they’re suspicious of someone, how they’re hostile towards someone. If they had dongs, you would think they were the smallest dongs possible, because they are compensating for something, BIG TIME. Between the T-800 and Sarah and Grace, everyone in this movie seems to outright hate each other, to the point that Arnold’s killer cyborg is one of the more pleasant characters. It gets to where you just want someone to order a fucking decaf. Does the fact that Sarah Connor has a vagina keep it from being ridiculously over the top how she spends all her time either blowing up robots or drinking herself into a stupor? C’mon. You can’t complain about male characters having ‘man-pain’ then give Bad Grandma a pass over her ovaries.

And that’s it. It’s a Brundlefly shit between yet another dumb girlpower reboot for the people who’ve never seen a Terminator movie and a sequel with Sarah and Uncle Bob to try and get that last drop of blood outta this stone. They’re trying to make something that appeals to both people for whom this is their first Terminator and people for whom this is their latest Terminator and it just doesn’t work. The newbies don’t have any emotional investment in these characters and the Terminator fans don’t like it that all the old movies were rendered meaningless to prop up Grace and Dani.

Hilariously enough, I actually played Terminator: Resistance recently, which is a fun little mid-tier shooter that was meant to tie in to this movie... and it completely ignores all the Dani/Grace/Legion BS to take place in John Connor’s future war and tie in to the first two movies. That’s how forgettable this movie is. Its own damn video game adaptation pretends it doesn’t exist. Fuuuck.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And in that big, bad, sexist original Terminator, which was so unwoke and problematic, Sarah saved herself and finished off the Terminator herself. Here, Dani has to be saved by Arnold at the climax. The 35-year-old movie is more feminist than this one. Fuck you very much.

#terminator

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coolandspicy · 6 years

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Lost Fantasia recap

This is crazy long so i’ll put it under the cut!

Pre concert they play most of VIXX’s mvs on the big screens which is fun. (Super Hero and Rock Ur Body are suspiciously absent lol)

About 5 minutes before concert start time there’s this super loud count down...but after a few seconds it fades into a song? It scared me both nights tho lol!

1st Vcr - its all in black and white, people walking around in animal masks, and we see the members one by one, frozen in place seemingly?

The big curtain falls and the members are lowered from the raised platform while intense music plays

They’re wearing these sparkly Silver zigzag jackets and matching pants, they get into formation to perform and the first song is Odd Sense! It starts awesome with really cool lighting (all the lightsticks turn red) but a few seconds in the backing vocals totally cut so its just vixx singing live and the music is a bit quieter, they keep going a little longer but then suddenly the whole song cuts and Hakyeon apologizes and asks if they can start again. The lights go off and the members exit the stage.

We ended up waiting about a full hour for the technical issues to be resolved and the atmosphere was super tense; starlights were so upset and they were kind of cursing at jellyfish? At one point they chanted for an apology 😅I was seriously worried that if the problem wasn’t resolved something terrible would happen...

But the concert finally resumed and the members appeared exactly were they had been when the music cut; they performed Odd Sense, followed by Escape (during the the “run away” part starlights were even louder than ravi) and then Silence!

1st Talk session: first the members apologized again for the issues and Hakyeon asks for starlights to give them strength/energy by still cheering loudly. They go on to talk about hair colors; Hongbin has purple hair (at fans request!) Leo has blond instead of silver bc he couldn’t take any more bleach, Ravi dyed his hair to be the same color as Hyuk? Hakyeon pokes Ravi insistently waiting for Ravi to talk about his gray highlights (Ravi ignores him for a while but then finally they acknowledge Hakyeon^^)

The next song is Fantasy, after which the members disappear but Ravi stays (he took his jacket off and has the white shirt and black harness on) and does a mini solo performance (I’m calling these solos ‘mini’ bc they’re really not quite as long as the usual solo performances we see?) Ravi performs with female back up dancers and then at the end walks back upstage where the other members are waiting ( and also wearing the White shirts, black pants + harnesses)

They perform Into the void, while seated/standing with these two props shaped like some kind of rocks. After the song the members walk down stage (Leo, Ravi and Hakyeon go to the middle; Hyuk and Hongbin go all the way to the left side of the stage; and Ken goes all the way to the right) they perform Six feet under — its so hype live, I really loved it!!

2nd talk: Hakyeon complements Ravi’s performance, and asks Ravi shoot hearts to each floor/section of the audience. Then they ask what song starlights would like to see next, because the audience is not really in sync (some people are asking Leo to shoot hearts also) Leo shoots a powerful heart before they start Trigger. This choreo oh my god!! Everything from running gun hands down their long legs, the members circling round Hakyeon poised to shoot + and the killer moment: Ravi grips Ken from behind and shoots towards the audience 👀

Then they do Beautiful killer (with even more gunhands) and descend into the stage

2nd Vcr: solo scenes!

Ravi is in the rain holding an umbrella, but the then he drops it and just lets the water soak through his jacket, then he takes of the jacket and his shirt is all wet and see though;; he throws the jacket at the audience/camera and disappears!

Hyuk has an aesthetic scene in a phone booth & with the ground covered in rose petals?? He steps out and holds a blue potion and disappears when the rose petals fall around him

At an aesthetically neon bar Hakyeon surveys the scene, looking #opulent. He considers different wines but then he snaps his fingers and a bottle of champagne appears. He pours a glass, holds it close to smell the aroma, and tosses it in our face, causing him to disappear.

Leo appears draped in sheer tapestry, wearing a blindfold(?) which he takes off. Then he just, rolls around pressing into the mattress and stuff, and disappears (I can’t describe this okay, he was a hoe and that’s all you need to know)

Ken walks into a room with bathtub & candles, he looks seductively at the candles and drips some wax into the bath water. Then he blows out one of the candles and disappears

Hongbin is in the forest at night, surrounded by mist, he disappears in the mist

Finally the screen says simply “What exists is the scent of the soul”

Hongbin appears in red and does a mini solo with female back up dancers,

The members appear in formation for Scentist, wearing red fringed jackets with no undershirts — also Ravi’s has a cut out in the back 👀

During Scentist lots of mist stuff came out, idk if it was actually scented but it looked cool!

Members descend into stage again, but Leo reappeared to do his mini solo with two male back up dancers, they grind on the floor and other things;; priming us for the next performance Circle. There are mic stands and the 6 people standing behind them are clearly intimately familiar with sin

3rd Talk: mostly they talk about the performances they just did, especially Hongbin and Leo’s solo parts, move on to the next song

They perform My Valentine (who knew chairs were actually the sexiest prop possible) Love Me Do is next, and the members disappear at the end, but Hyuk reappears to do mini solo reprise of Love Me Do with male back up dancers

3rd Vcr: all the members are together at a cute bar; eating drinking, reacting to vixx old stages and music videos. They talk about their memories and Hyuk gets emotional 😭

Ken rises from the stage, sings a beautiful mini solo ballad. He’s wearing all white with a long, sparkly blue coat

The VCR screens fill with constellations, and six boxes appear in the back. The members appear one by one to sing their parts of the ballad medley (which includes On A Cold Night, 닮아, 12345, Bad Bye, and maybe more?) wearing the same outfits as Ken. When members appear their box lights up and the screen behind them has their birthstone (Same as from Shangri-la birthstone version!)

The members reappear but sitting on the stage and this time they sing Us Now, near the end of the song Starlights on the second floor do their prepared event -- they hold up sheets of paper that are either yellow or blue. Together it spells out 우린 영원을 믿어 (We believe you forever) I think its especially powerful not only because it was unexpected but because of the difficulty starting the concert today. After all, isn’t that always how it’s been for VIXX? So many struggles since the beginning but they’ve worked so hard to prove themselves to us; I know I would never leave them for anything.

4th Talk: they talk about how surprising the event was, and after getting over the surprise joke around about how Starlights were bickering whenever someone was unsure/about to put their paper down. Hakyeon talks about how funny he thinks Starlights are when they accidentally make mistakes, the confusion over the fanchant for My Valentine is especially funny to him. He asks Starlights to keep confidently making mistakes ^^

They take off the jackets and perform Chained up (This is a song that I have so much fun seeing live? Its never my favorite to listen with headphones, but on a huge stage oh my god!!) The follow up with Black out, and then the members walk off but Hakyeon stays. When the lights go back on he is surrounded by female back up dancers and has blood dripping down his chest. He does a really intense dance to scary music with lots of creepy smiles and scary expressions throughout.

The members reappear and they perform Hyde altogether (it’s made even better by the fact that Hakyeon still has blood on his clothes!)

5th Talk: Hakyeon exits (to change) and 5VIXX discuss the previous performances, and how tired they are. Leo especially looks like he’s so tired ^^; Hyuk says something about being able to keep going and he does the leg popping part from the Hyde choreo; the stage directors give him some flames to go with his leg pops which encourages him to do a bunch; the other members scold him saying he’ll burn the whole place down. Hakyeon comes back freshly changed and talks about his performance -- he asks if it was scary (we all answer 네!!!! as always but slightly unsure lol bc we’re not sure if we should say that our beloved leader was scary lol) He says that means he succeeded ^^ Then he tells us it’s time for the last stage and we all whine but Hakyeon shushes us.

They perform Desperate (how we’re all feeling at this point lol) Then they disappear and male dancers appear in the outfits from the Wind of Starlight performance. The members enter wearing silk cloaks decorated with red flowers to perform Shangri-la.

After the members disappear, Starlights cheer 사랑해 (while the overhead logo pulsates like its charging lol) until VIXX returns to perform Milky Way. They enter in the second floor carrying balloons with the letters of their stage names. Then they do Navy And Shining Gold, after which Hakyeon says its time to go but Starlights insist (One more time!) and they start doing Heaven (which of course means doing it a bunch of times lol) the boys were super cute, running, jumping, pouring water on each other lol. Hakyeon sat down and took some selfies with fans phones

After many runs, they finally said it was time to go and for everyone to go back safely, and lots of other sweet things

The end credits was a behind the scenes video with Good Day as the bgm (which means every song on EaudeVixx was featured ^^)

I’ll forever be jealous of Starlights on the second floor but ultimately I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity and I thank VIXX and Starlights both for making Lost Fantasia the best concert possible!

#talks #lost fantasia #vixx #concert recap

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foxstens · 4 years

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it ended lol

idk what to say. amazingly enough the stuff i expected to dislike (the music and art) i ended up liking, and the things i expected to love (the story and characters), i was disappointed by.

for one, shiki doesn’t have eyes. WHY IN THE FUCK. WHAT IN THE HELL. he has a name and a personality. was it that hard to give him eyes. i really didn’t expect it and i kept waiting for it to change in the next route but then it didn’t and it pisses me off. (he might have eyes in some of the cgs i missed but i dont care enough to find out)

in fact, i spent a lot of it waiting. waiting for me to attached to the characters, waiting for the far side routes to be amazing, waiting for kohaku’s route to tie everything together, waiting for it to become the best thing ever.

in the end i got none of it. overall the scenes i enjoyed most were the slice-of-life scenes where they’d be talking about everything but plot relevant stuff, and then when the plot started to kick in in the last few days of every route, i’d just find myself ctrl-skipping through it bc i just didn’t care.

and even more than that, i never grew to love the characters. i certainly do have a fondness for them and i like their interactions enough that i read until the end, but i don’t feel a need to see even more of them. in fact i’m not even sure i want to play kagetsu tohya or melty blood at all so like. yea. and i don’t particularly like shiki. he has a personality so i gotta give props for that, but i don’t understand how people can say he’s better than shirou. also maybe im just blind to the way nasu writes romance but i didn’t see or feel it in any of the routes. at all.

also a lot of reviews mention how this vn thrives on atmosphere, and i don’t really get that. it certainly uses music and silence really well, but i rarely felt genuinely creeped out by it or anything even tho i read most of it at night and in silence.

i rarely felt anything in general? i didn’t really laugh, there were few times i felt happy when a character popped up on screen, i teared up exactly once, and even tho i enjoyed the slice-of-life scenes, they felt too short and i didn’t love them or anything. the only such scenes i genuinely loved were the ones with arihiko in them.

i didn’t completely hate it tho. for one, its overall technical aspects weren’t so horrible. the skip read scenes option is a godsend and ctrl skipping is also really fast, so those two basically make up for the lack of everything else. the art might not be that great but it is bearable and looking at it just made me think about how much work must’ve gone into it.

the sprites have a lot more variation than i’d have expected, and they’re used really really well. same goes for the soundtrack, which is very limited but it does its job and i might actually find myself listening to it on my own sometimes. also the plot-relevant scenes i happened to like were really good, and i actually liked most of arcueid and hisui’s routes.

but really the only thing i feel like i gained from this is that i no longer have to worry about spoilers for this particular part of the nasuverse. eh.

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ottpop · 6 years

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Tododeku Stage Craft AU

Scene Shop

Technical Director: Aizawa Shota

Scenic Artists: Amajiki Tamaki

Painters: Sato Rikido, Mediriya Izuku,

Carpenters: Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Sero Hanta, Kirishima Eijirou

Prop Shop

Props Director: Togata Mirio

Lead Props Artisan: Bakugou

Soft Goods Artisan: Yaoyorozu Momo

Props Painter and Sculptor: Ashido Mina

Costume Shop

Costume Director : Midnight

Drapers and Stitches: Aoyama Yuga, Monoma Neito

Costume Crafts Artisan: Mineta Minoru

Electrical

Audio/Video Supervisor: Present Mic

Sound Board Operator and occasional A2: Jiro Kyoka

Master Electrician: Hatsume Mei

Lighting: Kaminari Denki

Box Office

Director of Administrations: Iida Tenya

Director of Information Technology: Shinso Hitoshi

Marketing and Communications: Koda Koji

Stage

Stage Crew: Kendo Itsuka, Hagakure Toru, Uraraka Ochako, Asui Tsuyu

Stage Manager: Hado Nejire

Fight Choreographer: Ojiro Mashirao

Wig Master: Tokoyami Fumikage

Makeup: Shoji Mezo

Creative Director: All Might

Director: Todoroki Shoto

Actors: the rest of 1-B

All might was like the equivalent of lin manuel miranda aka supper famous actor/play write/director who changed theater but now hes retired to being a theaters creative director

Deku and baku went to the same hs and collage together, got to go to an all might show as an arts education matinee and fell in love with theater through that. Deku double majored scenic and writing.

Tho baku is still baku, they get along ok now with some normal work place ribbing (‘hey you got a little paint on your, everything’) (‘pfft is that fake blood on you or is it your own’)

Todoroki is an up and coming director thats directing the play his sister wrote about there fucked up family and the two of them getting out (most people on the crew dont know its about him, his sister is going by her married name) (he currently lives alone but near his mom, his dads an lawyer and there divorced now. Tho for a long time todos sister had cosidity of him after they escaped )

He meets deku the day after the first rehearsal meeting cause hes the second to last one out and deku is useing a paint roller as a mic to sing along to oldies as he cleans up (painters all listen to oldies and classical, no joke (hes probs jaming really hard to Walking In Memphis)) and then he helps him finish cleaning up so they can lock up cause its cute

Dekus a play write too but he only lets Uraraka read them

Bakugo will only talk to Aoyama when he needs to collaborate with costumes for blood props, cause even though he tries to get sequins into every show hes the only reasonable one when it comes to blood getting washed out of the costumes right. And also the fact that mineta is also costumes and he hates him

Midnight is costumes head so she has them all working smoothly but baku has no time for that he has a sword to fix and a coke mirror to deliver to the theater

Administration, props and scene shop are all in the same building (the carpenters and the props build are all one bug wearhouse room, the paint shop and the spray booth/Minas skulputre corner are in a seprate room in the same building. Yaomos soft goods studio is in its own room off the artisans offices. The administration offices are upstairs above the artisan offices and break room. The whole building shares one big breakroom/office kitchen.) Costume shop is above the theater wich is a separate building. This means they have to load trucks to get the stuff to the theater. There is also a wearhouse seprate from the other buildings for storage. No one lets Tetsutetsu drive the trucks even tho he has gone through the the classes to do it.

All might reeeelly starts to notest that deku might be more inclined to be a play wright then a painter (tho hes vary good at it) during todos show. He ends up giveing notes and feed back when he overheard them talking when hes crawling around the set doing touch ups. Todo starts coming to him asking for technical and language opinions for the show or to just bounce ideas off of him when things get stuck and dekus just painting primers or cover blacks.

Kodas playing baby todo in the play

All mights got cancer or something too idk. Hes trying to hide it from everyone

Eventually deku figures out that the boy character is todo and its his sister who wrote it (probs cause the kettle scene got a little too real during dress rehearsal and he had a ptsd indused flashback/panic attack), feelings jam ensues

They fall in love and eventually todo directs the play dekus been writing the end

#tododeku #mha #bnha #mha au #todoroki x izuku #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #i wish i was a writer

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verdigrisprowl · 7 years

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Apr 11 Blurr’s Horror Stream - Book Of Life

A night early because, randomly, Blurr decided to throw a party for Optimus’s corpse! The movie was oddly thematically appropriate. Starscream hired Blurr for random odd jobs that he doesn’t want tied back to him. For some reason he decided to do this with witnesses. Prowl yelled at him over comms a lot.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. Whirl: *tilts his head and looks, now, to Rumble* How've you been? Sadie: [[ "she is, isn't she?" la muerte pls ]] B l u r r: Most likely. / wiggles claws/ I like Xibalba. B l u r r: [[ im happy snifit finally gets to see this ;A; ]] Whirl: (ME2)) ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I LIKE HIM TOO. HE PLAYS DIRTY.\\ Whirl: He seems kind of like a chump. Starscream: Does he? Whirl: Yeah. *eyes Starscream sidelong* Scraping around someone in a position he wants. Begging and simpering to get his way. Whirl: Y'know. Chump stuff. B l u r r: Sounds like it ItsyBitsySpyers: //Eh... I been better.// He waves a hand half-aftedly. //Ain't important.// Starscream: *snorts* If he's in charge it doesn't matter how he got there. Whirl: *nods at Rumble; Whirl will leave it at that* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He might talk if Whirl asks in person some time, but not with Blurr and Starscream there.* Whirl: *if Whirl's made aware of that, he might take him up on that offer* B l u r r: / drapes over coffin. He likes his cartoon / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage snorts. Gods are so ridiculous.* Whirl: *gods that aren't Heqet, ofc* FakeProwl: *appears* FakeProwl: How much did I miss? Starscream: Gods playing with mortal lives in exchange for living arrangements. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah. They picked representin' kids 'n whoever the girl human picks for conjunx wins.// B l u r r: Sounds boring. Whirl: That's... not a bad summary. *takes another swig of his canister* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tired ping hello.* FakeProwl: Who wins if the girl human doesn't want to conjugate with any of the represented kids? Starscream: Which is pretty short sighted. What if the girl doesn't pick either. Starscream: *see Prowl gets it* Starscream: They didn't cover that. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The girl human.]] B l u r r: / rolls optic/ It's more about which boy is better suited for her. Starscream: ..well. If this one dies I suppose she'll get the other one. FakeProwl: Are there rules against murdering rival gods' representative children? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No. But one cheated.]] B l u r r: Technically that's cheating, and they can't cheat. FakeProwl: How? Whirl: He gave one of the kids something that made him invincible. Starscream: Hey, he's the one that benefits if he wins. Cheating is the obvious answer. Whirl: To be honest, if a god offered that to me, I'd take it. I wouldn't waste my time courting someone though, I'd go do awesome stuff. Whirl: ((omg tHIS COVER!!!)) Whirl: But... I mean, actually, if you spend all your time doing awesome death-defying stuff with your newfound powers, you're bound to attract some other badass's attention. FakeProwl: So, one of them is a warrior; the other one is a musician who's being pressured into... killing animals? Whirl: So, two birds, one stone. Starscream: Yes. B l u r r: Bull fighting. FakeProwl: The musician is going to win. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Why?]] FakeProwl: Because a person doing what he wants to do and what he was made to do is lest interesting than a character whose assigned duty contrasts with his desired duty. Starscream: ((are the swords inside his back because he's a wooden doll)) Starscream: ((Manolo turn around- darn Whirl: *tilts his head and glances briefly to Prowl* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I WANNA GET AN IMMORTALITY MAGNET. AIN'T FAIR.\\ FakeProwl: More interesting characters are heroes. Heroes win the thing they desire at the end of the story. Starscream: ((i thought they were like IN him B l u r r: I'm sure there's something like that out there somewhere. B l u r r: [[ is it dropping a lot? ]] FakeProwl: ((it's good here)) Starscream: So he should become a musician instead of getting married, since I'm not sure if he even cares. Whirl: On the one hand... it'd be awesome. On the other, it kinda takes half the fun out of it, y'know? FakeProwl: And humans really like characters that fight duty to pursue their desires. Starscream: ((*continues to threeway ship)) FakeProwl: ((far better threeway)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((creator supports it)) Whirl: ((yep that's best)) B l u r r: [[ stream is about to drop ]] B l u r r: [[ or it's dropping a lot. ]] Whirl: (seems to be going fine for me)) FakeProwl: ((fine here still)) B l u r r: Now THAT looks like fun. Whirl: *perks up a bit at the sight of the bull* Whirl: It's adorable. B l u r r: / leans over coffin/ Isn't that right? K-Kyeheheeh. Like pissing off a Tyran Prime and seeing him come at you! Whirl: Well. *sly look to Blurr* I doubt he feels THAT way about the bull. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[That seems ill-advised.]] B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Maybe not. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Has decided to root for this human, predictable fate or not.* Whirl: Pfft. Whirl: That bull's gonna kill him. You watch. FakeProwl: ... Doesn't disabling the bull require more skill than killing it, anyway? Whirl: Hm, guess not. Whirl: And you'd think so, right? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We did not have bulls, but the beasts we did have to fight... yes.]] Whirl: Even more impressive? Taming it. Whirl: ((HAHA IM DYING)) Whirl: ((I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS AJUKEBOX MUSICAL)) Starscream: ((8DDD FakeProwl: ((this one bothers me. it's just... slightly wrong.)) FakeProwl: ((maybe if they'd modified the lyrics a little bit)) Whirl: ((the line "i'm a creep, i'ma weirdo" is a bit off, ye)) Whirl: You know. FakeProwl: ((and "your skin makes me cry" is... sort of creepy in general, and that's not his character)) Whirl: I think that might be fun. Something like bullfighting--only, obviously, without the bulls. Whirl: ((YEAH....)) B l u r r: It's fun with Empties. Whirl: Empties aren't a real CHALLENGE, though. Something like... big. And capable of devouring you, maybe. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\NEXT TIME WE FIND A RAZOR SNAKE WE'LL BRIDGE YA INTO A HOLE WITH IT.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: //Dibs on his suite.// B l u r r: ... Grimlock. B l u r r: I punched a Grimlock in the face once. Whirl: *perks up* Do it! Absolutely. Whirl: You can even invite a crowd to admire my martial prowess as I kick its a ss. *preens unabashedly* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\GRIMLOCKS ARE FUN. THEY GET SO MAAAAAD.\\ B l u r r: Yes, they do. B l u r r: But, the one in the junkyard is a bit... BIGGER than I expected. Starscream: ...oh, yes. I'm surrounded by Wrekcers and Wrecker wannabes. B l u r r: /snort/ What? Whirl: There are no Wreckers in this room. B l u r r: / settles back over the coffin/ ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah. He's only a Wrecker where we're from.// Whirl: Also, in the event it devours me, I can't promise you my suite, Rumble. But you and your bro gotta take care of Killer. Starscream: ((hang on this is a mun error. Whirl: Okay. All right. Here's my problem with this--they lived their whole lives without her. How'm I supposed to swallow any romance here? I'm not feelin it. B l u r r: / hums and props cheek in his claw/ ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Nostalgia.]] FakeProwl: I wouldn't call somebody who sings "I love you too much to live to live without you loving me back" a catch either. Whirl: ((ur fine dude o7 i sort of thought Starscream was making a dig at whirl's ex-wrecker status)) Starscream: ((oh he was! I meant Blurr and Whirl but now im looking at TFWiki seriously doubting if i have the right universe)) FakeProwl: ((blurr and whirl both were yeah)) B l u r r: [[ Blurr is not a Wrecker >>;;;; yet ]] FakeProwl: ((not THIS blurr. but idw blurr yes)) Whirl: *shakes his head* I can't imagine anyone would be THAT nostalgic. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy looks at Blurr and the coffin and leans over to 'whisper'.* \\I SEEN THIS MOVIE. YA GOTTA KISS HIM. THEN HE COUGHS UP APPLES.\\ B l u r r: ... Excuse me? /looks at Frenzy / Whirl: ((it seems like a mistake that'd be IC for someone who isn't familiar with blurr's world to make, tho!)) B l u r r: [[ this is true!! ]] Whirl: ((FRENZY, GOD)) B l u r r: [[ star doesn't know blurr well! ]] Starscream: ((okay good so NOT an error. I meant it how he said it FakeProwl: ((although idk if idw blurr was officially a wrecker or if he was just rolling with the wreckers for a while)) Starscream: ((No no, he's being insulting and not trying to be accurate, so he doesn't care if this Blurr isn't actually a Wrecker.) ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I'M JUS' SAYIN'.\\ Starscream: ((That whole I know one guy like you who did this so I'll apply it to you anyway)) Whirl: ((aight o7 whirl;'s comment would not have changed)) Starscream: ((I mean the moment has passed but okay at least I know I did have my info correct)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He changed his mind. He wishes to root for the Maria human.]] Starscream: ..agreed. FakeProwl: Notice they started fighting without asking her which of them she's interested in. Whirl: *nods* Whirl: And she disarmed the guy very handily. FakeProwl: I'm rooting for her too. I'm rooting for her to remain single. Starscream: They can marry each other. Whirl: She should go find someone she can cour the RIGHT way. By fighting. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[........Why does he keep speaking his designation.]] Starscream: *looks at Whirl* I wonder. FakeProwl: So they remember it. B l u r r: You're just saying that I should kiss him awake? That's ridiculous... that isn't true. Starscream: Why WOULD someone be tempted to use their names as a warcry. FakeProwl: He wants a reputation. B l u r r: Honestly, have them fight. Whirl: I man, if your reputation precedes you, as his clearly DOES... why not? Whirl: Though USUALLY I prefer a blood-curdling unintelligible scream, myself. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Complete silence.]] Whirl: This guy's more in love with himself than he could ever be with anyone else. B l u r r: Seriously. Whirl: *OKAY GHE'S NOT GONNA sya it out loud be he always liked this song* Whirl: *not a bad idea, an acoustic cover* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble mumbles something under his breath and picks at his knee guards* Whirl: *tilts his head at, silently* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HOW DO YA KNOW IT AIN'T TRUE? YA TRIED?\\ Starscream: ((ruuuude B l u r r: .. No. Starscream: Are you about to kiss a dead body. B l u r r: Tch, no. B l u r r: /pats coffin/ Starscream: ...are you going to kiss it after we leave. FakeProwl: *ah. so it's a zombie movie.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Would he not have seen her after his natural death.]] B l u r r: No, I'm going to put him back. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Humans die quickly. He would not have long to wait.]] FakeProwl: People who say things like "I love you too much to live without you loving me back" tend to be impatient about their reunions. Starscream: He'd seen her for roughly a day and a half. Starscream: Their lives are short, he didn't hve to make it shorter. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Shakes his helm a little.* FakeProwl: Impatient, not sensible. Whirl: *shakes his head* They never sold me on the romance. Whirl: But I'm digging the art direction. B l u r r: Kyeheheh.../rests chin in claw / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[See. The creator is sensible.]] FakeProwl: ... I take it this one isn't La Muerte. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He is not.]] FakeProwl: *nobody told him the gods' names* FakeProwl: Who is he? B l u r r: He's Xibalba. FakeProwl: *what kind of a name is xibalba* FakeProwl: *she-bulb-a* Starscream: *cackles* B l u r r: / Zi- prowl. Zi-bul-ba / Whirl: Pfft. Prowl's not nearly theatric enough. FakeProwl: *"zi" isn't a word. it's clearly "she."* Whirl: ((wait dorp that wasn't aloud, nvm)) B l u r r: [[ there i am ]] Starscream: ...you know, it's rather dickish to only want to protect your hometown if someone marries you. B l u r r: [[ all about the churros ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Agreed.]] Whirl: *nods* FakeProwl: ... At least the other suitor is decent enough to try to say—multiple times—that this isn't the time to discuss the issue. Starscream: But not decent enough to revoke the terms of his proposal. FakeProwl: He gets a participation ribbon at best. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\IF HE CAN FIND ROOM ON HIS CHEST!\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy snickers* FakeProwl: Pf. ItsyBitsySpyers: *.......Takes a note on what to add to his mindscape* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Erases the note* FakeProwl: Interesting trap. Totally unnecessary, but interesting. Whirl: All of these people are too damn twitterpated to think straight. THIS is why this sort of thing is so dumb. Whirl: ...*wait, he should try to be at least somewhat sensitive here. DAMMIT HE HECKED UP* Y'know. ...sometimes. Whirl: *well he Tried* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Mumble.* Whirl: *he has the good graces to look at least a little abashed, glancing away with his antenna pinned back* Starscream: ...*did Whirl just act ashamed* Whirl: *don't u DARE TELL ANYONE* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Looking like home, neheheh.}} Whirl: He's got chutzpah. FakeProwl: More chutzpah than brains. Whirl: *shrugs* B l u r r: Ahh, yes. Use fear... Starscream: And that's why he's dead. FakeProwl: He's just made a bet against a known and repeat cheater. Whirl: Well, wat would have suggested he do to get what he want? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Kill the god.]] FakeProwl: Find a way to cheat first. Whirl: So, your solution is KILL a god or OUTSMART him. Gotcha. Whirl: A GOD. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We nearly murdered our own. It can be done.]] Whirl: Anyway, if I had to choose--I'd have to say, I'd cose someone who was brave but not too bright over someone who was a smart coward. B l u r r: Oh, trust me. The bravest of mechs are the dumbest. Starscream: Well, fools flock together, so that's no surprise. Whirl: Explains how YOU got elected. FakeProwl: *snort* Whirl: ...also look how cute it is. Starscream: Too bad, looks like if you had an objection you should have actually been around to participate in the election and not gallavanting in space. Whirl: I'm not even FROM your dimension. Whirl: And, I'm not a citizen, either, so it doesn't even matter. Starscream: ... actually no, it doesn't. Why ARE you complaining about it? FakeProwl: You don't know Whirl very well, do you. B l u r r: You being in charge of anything is a frightening concept. Whirl: I'm not complaining. I'm just speaking the truth. Starscream: I try to forget everything about him as soon as I stop looking at him. Whirl: Oh, that's rich, coming from YOU, prowl. Whirl: None of you know anything about me. *snorts* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tilts his helm. Nothing at all?* Whirl: *YOU know a little* FakeProwl: *slow blink* B l u r r: / he knows a tiny bit / Whirl: *but it wasn't like he could help it at the time* Starscream: And yet, here I am. In charge, and the planet is still in the same number of pieces. Whirl: Yeah, you're in charge of a bunch of idiotic NAILs. Whirl: What a victory. FakeProwl: *he knows whirl better than starscream.* Whirl: *he does, but that is not saying VERY much* FakeProwl: *and he knows that whirl will never turn down an opportunity to diss people he disrespects.* Whirl: *this is true* FakeProwl: *that's enough to make a snide side comment to starscream about how much starscream doesn't know whirl if he's questioning his complaining* Starscream: *Starscream tries to forget everything about Whirl immediately. He really doesn't care* Whirl: *all that aside, Whirl will also never pass up an opportunity to remind people how little they actually know* FakeProwl: ... That's rubbish. FakeProwl: Manolo was bever afraid of "being himself." FakeProwl: He spent the whole movie struggling to be himself despite his father and grandmother's pushing him to be otherwise. Starscream: Probably why he was so confident about the wager. FakeProwl: His greatest fear was defying his family. FakeProwl: And, likely, disappointing them. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been able to push him into bull fighting for so long. Whirl: *snickers* Whirl: I can respect someone who sings opera while they slaughter folks. Whirl: Nice. B l u r r: Kyeheheh. Yes, it is rather nice. Starscream: His entire family is dead now, aren't they. B l u r r: Seems that way ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nod.* Whirl: *also nods* FakeProwl: Unless he has some distant cousins we've never met. B l u r r: ... That's the best, isn't it? Fighting and dancing. /mumbling / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It is.]] Whirl: Okay, now. If all THREE of them show up and kick his aft. Whirl: If all three of them take this guy out. Whirl: Obviously they should ALL get together. FakeProwl: Humans are weirdly obsessed with monogamy. Whirl: Maybe it's a biological thing. FakeProwl: Which is unfortunate, because both of the suitor characters are much more tolerable when they aren't battling over her. Whirl: The three of them could make a good team. Lots of killing to be had. *nods* Starscream: Or the narrative isn't telling us they're intolerable FakeProwl: I doubt it. If it were biological, there wouldn't be so many humans lamenting the difficulty of monogamy, cheating on their monogamous partners, et cetera. Starscream: ((mwah Whirl: ((GOD. FOR REAL)) FakeProwl: ((threeway makeouts. now.)) B l u r r: [[ his sequels are about the other two >>;; ]] B l u r r: [[ im excited. ]] Starscream: (( OuO Whirl: No, I mean, it's a biological thing to be obsessed with monogamy. FakeProwl: ... Hm. Whirl: But obviously, conjunx ritual aside, all three of them are a thing. *waves aclaw* Starscream: This probably could have been avoided if she'd visited him once in a while. B l u r r: She was sent away. Starscream: No, I mean La Murete. B l u r r: They're in charge of two different realms. They probably can't visit. Starscream: At the start, the complaint was that the land of the forgotten sucked and he wanted to trade. B l u r r: The Land of the Forgotten reminds me of what Terminus is said to be like. Starscream: So, what, they can only interact on the Day of the Dead? FakeProwl: Can't they combine their realms and rule jointly? B l u r r: Yes, the Day of the Dead is when the realms are open to one another. Starscream: ..well that's a terrible arrangement. B l u r r: [[ hhhhh his wings ]] Sadie: [[ okay i must sleep ]] B l u r r: In any case... who wants something to eat? B l u r r: [[ ni ni!! ]] Whirl: Bad advice. *snorts* Sadie: [[ good night friends <333333 ilu all ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((night fabu!)) Whirl: ((GNIGHT FABU)) ItsyBitsySpyers: #meeeee Whirl: It was all right, I guess. The visuals are what saved it. Whirl: (I LOVED IT THO)) Whirl: ((SOME of the music choices could have been a bit better but it was great)) B l u r r: [[ i love it , tho i agree with the music ]] Whirl: Depends, Teach--whatcha cookin up for us? B l u r r: Well, I made my Master a cake. /pats the coffin/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave waves off the food. None for him. Obviously.* B l u r r: And I've got some liquid snacks that are especially made for you. B l u r r: / for whirl / Starscream: ((I had forgotten that i didn't like how the narrative sort of backs Joaquin into a corner FakeProwl: *... blinks at the coffin* FakeProwl: *who's in there. why. why is blurr like this.* Starscream: I'm not in the mood for vaccum-packed Prime. B l u r r: He is not vaccum packed... FakeProwl: ((tbh i'm kind of glad it backed him into a corner--it saved him from having to be a Massive Major Douchebag to try to go through with a wedding right after his buddy died)) B l u r r: / scoffs/ I wasn't going to hang him on the wall like Thundertron. FakeProwl: ((it allowed him to be more sympathetic while still fulfilling the role of The Romantic Rival)) Starscream: ((I would have liked it better if they didn't need him to be in a corner OR a massive major douchebag and just let him be an equal protagonist Whirl: *tilts his head curiously; he's genuinely intrigued if Blurr tried to make something for him* Whirl: *he MIGHT even be able to taste it* FakeProwl: ((also, considering that the situation was kind of engineered by two gods fvckin around with mortal lives, it sorta makes sense to me that he'd be backed into a corner he didn't want to be in.)) B l u r r: / sends a comm link out. Some mechs are gonna push a cart with a huge cake and then one specifically for whirl's liquid snacks/ Whirl: ((yeah like... I would've liked for him to have been cas more sympathetically, but I think it still works--his selfless act at the end feels more like a revelation if he's been a bit selfish the rest Whirl: of the film)) FakeProwl: ((but ye, hopefully in the sequel he can just be an equal protagonist and they can be a vaguely poly trio)) Whirl: ((but 4 real they need to all 3 get together. I know it's too much to ask for but i Want It)) Starscream: ((This is true. and after all, it may very well be that you're not SUPPOSEd to like it as a narrative direction.)) Starscream: ((and yesssss Whirl: *like a wayward snake, Whirl is periscoping to see this liquid snack being brought to him. He's not even trying to be cool about it* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak's gonna try to divebomb the cart in a second* FakeProwl: *immediately grimaces at the sight of food* FakeProwl: *which corpse are they celebrating this time. he doesn't want to know.* B l u r r: Let me know if you like them, Whirl. /hums and pats the top of the coffin / ItsyBitsySpyers: *It's probably best if Prowl doesn't ask.* FakeProwl: *he's not going to.* B l u r r: / drapes over it / The fleet has their own share already of snacks. Whirl: *scoops it up, pauses, and then lifts it in toast* To Blurr's old boss. I only kew him as a weird motherfragger, but y'know what? There are worse things to be. B l u r r: / smirks and taps claws on the coffin/ Hear that? Whirl salutes! / salutes claws at Whirl / We thank you. FakeProwl: *"blurr's old boss." that's already more than he wanted to know.* Whirl: *nods and takes a swig. How noxious is this stuff, on a scale of 1-10. And/or spicy or whatever* B l u r r: / it's sweet with some pop of spice / Whirl: *he can probably baaaaarely taste it then* Whirl: Not too shabby, Teach. B l u r r: Aw, thanks /wiggles claws/ We've been celebrating a lot lately. B l u r r: Still trying to come up with a name for the Fleet. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\TH' FLEET'S FUNNY ALL BY ITSELF.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\Y'KNOW. FLEET. FAST.\\ Whirl: PFFT. Whirl: That's damn clever, Frenzy! B l u r r: It is. K-Kyeheheheh. But, we want a specific name for them. B l u r r: And I'm not going to call them what that fool Thundertron called them. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I GOT MOMENTS. MY BRO DON'T GET 'EM ALL.\\ B l u r r: Kyeheheh. Whirl: Yeah, "Star Seekers?" Lame. B l u r r: Right? Lame. Whirl: *and speaking of the brother... Whirl nudges Rumble in what he things is a subtle way* @R: Hey. Uh, sorry. Y'know. B l u r r: Maybe Roadbuster can help me think of a name... ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: //Yeah, sure. It's whatever, mech. Know ya ain't me.// Starscream: Herald. B l u r r: Pardon? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave glances at Starscream, still on edge. That better not have two other words behind it.* Starscream: Your fleet. Heralds. It's thematic with the whole Emperor thing. Whirl: @R: Yeah, but still it's not--I don't mean, y'know, YOU. Just running on automatic. Kinda hard to put the brakes on the four-million-year-long bitterness train. Whirl: Herald sounds too stuffy. B l u r r: Hnnh... /drums claws on the coffin lid/ I suppose that makes the most sense, but I don't want people to think I'm fully a King now. That's not what I want. Whirl: I don't have any better suggestions, I'm just saying. Whirl: Except... maybe. *thinks* Starscream: Harbingers, then. That's usually paired up with stuff like 'doom'. Whirl: The Out of School Suspension Squad. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Heh.// B l u r r: ....Harbingers. Hnh. B l u r r: / snort at Whirl/ Now, that sounds likely. Kyeheheheh. Whirl: The Detention Decimators. Starscream: *pained look* That's /awful/. Whirl: *looks damn PROUD of himself at that declaration* Whirl: *it's hard to preen when you're half-buried/half sat upon by a giant scorpion and a minibot but Whirl manages it* B l u r r: / hums/ Good suggestions. ItsyBitsySpyers: //...Teacher's Pets.// Whirl: I just advse not going with something too grandiose. Makes it easier for folks to make fun of--PFFT. Whirl: *LAUGHS* B l u r r: K-KYAHAHAHAA!! Starscream: *MORE PAIN* B l u r r: That's a good one. Whirl: Something Academy. Whirl: Use Academy. B l u r r: ...Hmm. Whirl: That's as good as you're gonna get from me, I'm a fighter, not a naming-things-er. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Fitting music.]] B l u r r: That's fine. B l u r r: I'll take some of the suggestions and talk them over. ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: Nah, I know. You do you. *Rumble considers saying that Whirl might not have to live on the bitterness train forever if even Frenzy can get a someone, but. He probably don't got that kinda right.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *So he just nods.* Starscream: Hm. Actually, Blurr, there is something I would like to discuss. ItsyBitsySpyers: *And Ravage suddenly pops Soundwave on the leg with claws. No falling asleep in public.* B l u r r: / tilts helm/ Hmmn? Whirl: *nods back, but very slightly, as he's trying not to be obvious* @R: Careful. Dangerous advice, mech. *in an attempt to inject a bit of levity* But, seriously. Sorry. I *do* mean it. FakeProwl: *... quietly listens in on Starscream's conversation* Whirl: *he feels like there's more to say, but this isn't the right place, and Starscream's words have piqued his interest* ItsyBitsySpyers: @W: ...Thanks. Starscream: You rejected my offer of cooperation before. However, I'm still willing to seek a mutually beneficial relationship. Whirl: *another surreptitious nod* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave pops back online in time to hear... what is this? What offer of cooperation?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sets music internally to keep himself up and focuses* B l u r r: Friends with benefits? Hmmmnh... that requires us to be friends. Whirl: *snickers* Starscream: I'll settle for relaxed aquaintances. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Slow turn to Prowl.* @P: (txt): ...What missed? Starscream, Blurr: interface item? Whirl: ((the hatef uck of the century)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Not to my knowledge. I think he's ineptly asking for a /professional/ relationship.» B l u r r: Depends on what I'm getting out of it. B l u r r: It's gonna take a lot for me not to slam your face into the wall and drag it down. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Listens to them again, then a quick glance back to Prowl.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «You're trying to recruit BLURR'S services? Did you miss the fact that he's throwing a party for his last boss's corpse in the coffin next to him?» ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): 'Ineptly': insufficient. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Settles again. Must hear response.* B l u r r: [[ aw come on Prowl. u were invited ]] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Would you like me to use a better synonym, or...?» Starscream: @P ::Have you missed the mechs built into the literal walls around us?:: ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt) Negative. Intention: deal commentary. Words difficult. Apology. Starscream: And that depends on what you want. There are things I cannot offer, and others that I won't. FakeProwl: @Starscream «I assumed you would care less about them than about what he apparently does to the people who hire him. What do you hope to get out of Blurr?» B l u r r: / hums and looks down at the coffin. Drums claws. Looks like he's thinking/ I want access to the entire city. B l u r r: Any time I want it. FakeProwl: @Starscream «No. He can't have unrestricted access to the city.» Starscream: @Prowl:: Enforcement via a method less directly connected to myself.:: FakeProwl: @Starscream «There are more reliable agents we can use.» Whirl: *watches this all with silent, but obviously amused, interest* Starscream: Entire city- and I'm assuming you're including Metroplex in that demand. B l u r r: Is it part of the city? Because then that's an affirmative. Whirl: Teach, you know I like you, but if you go ona urderspree on my home planet, just remember: I might kick your ***. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble doesn't give a frag what's going on. He's busy sprawled and listening to the music.* B l u r r: I'm not thinking about a murderspree at the moment. Whirl: ((wow my typing is so good tonight)) Whirl: Just so you KNOW. B l u r r: I know. /hums/ Whirl: *this apparently satisfies him* Starscream: Escorted access to an agreed-upon majority of the city, except for Metroplex. That would have to be sorted as a seperate deal. B l u r r: Drop the escort and I'll settle for agreeing on a majority. FakeProwl: @Starscream «We can't afford to leave him escorted. And he has unique mods that would make him incredibly hard to catch if he decided to flee. He might be able to outrun OUR Blurr.» FakeProwl: **unescorted Starscream: *drums fingers on leg* Notice given before any trips into the city, then. And a limit to the number of mechs you can bring with you. Starscream: @Prowl::What mods?:: B l u r r: / hums and looks over at Whirl. Then looks at the coffin. Trying to think like he's supposed to here. Lifts index digit/ A warning before I enter the atmosphere. And only three mechs allowed with me. B l u r r: At a time. FakeProwl: @Starscream «I don't know the details of them. They permit him to move at absurd speeds.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «And I still don't see why you have to use him instead of somebody less likely to betray you and start murdering your citizens.» Starscream: @Prowl ::Because he has the manpower, will most likely refuse to be bought out by a higher offer, and has no interest in taking IAcon for himself.:: Starscream: Notice will be given on who those mechs are at the same time as the general warning. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, his theme song* B l u r r: Hmmm... the mechs are interchangable. FakeProwl: @Starscream «But he may be bought out by a bloodier offer. Or just, casually decide he doesn't feel like working with you anymore.» B l u r r: I can choose to switch out mechs at any time. FakeProwl: "Only three mechs allowed with you." Are you referring to YOUR mechs that you'll bring along, or OUR mechs that will escort you? B l u r r: my own B l u r r: I trust absolutely none of your mechs. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Mandate an escort. He cannot be allowed in Iacon with no restraints.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «... An escort he doesn't know about, if necessary.» Starscream: Agreed, as long as you do not exceed three mechs with you on the ground. The rest have to remain on your ship. Starscream: @Prowl ::Naturally.:: Starscream: Visitations are limited to a day. After that you either have to tell us that you are still in Iacon or leave. Whirl: *raises claw* Whirl: Obviously, I don't count against Teach's limit. B l u r r: They have no problem waiting on the ship as it is right now. /shifts and drums claws/ Depends on what you want me to do. Whirl: So, lemme know when you're in town, mech. B l u r r: Hmm /nods at Whirl / Naturally. B l u r r: Visitations are limited to exactly one day unless The Emperor is in need of repairs. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Permit that, and he'll use false claims of repairs to stay longer.» Starscream: Repairs will have at least one of our mechs assisting, to ensure proper communication on the status of said repairs. B l u r r: Mech can watch but no one touches my ship but me and my crew. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Make it at least two. If there's only one, it's all the easier for that mech to go in and never exit again.» B l u r r: My crew is also allowed to stand guard outside my ship. So that I am not approached by any MORE strangers. B l u r r: Considering how one decided to waltz into my ship last time I was on your planet. Starscream: That sounds like a security issue that should be taken up with your own crew. Any guards you set must remain within twenty meters of your ship. B l u r r: Oh, no worries... he isn't coming back /smirks/ I believe he knows I won't hesitate to shoot him next time. Whirl: *his helm is flicking back and forth like he's watching a tennis match; Whirl is hugely amused* Starscream: Keep your shots to those that get close to the ship, then. B l u r r: / smirks and leans back/ Hmmm... / eyes his claws/ And what are we negotiating for, hn? You and your cabinet want something from us? B l u r r: / glances up and around. Soundwave. Prowl. Starscream. Whirl. Company of Soundwave. / FakeProwl: *shakes his head. nope. he's no part of this.* Starscream: *if Whirl is on the cabinet Starscream wants to know who was drunk enough to approve it* Whirl: Please don't affiliate me with THIS chucklehead, Teach. *gestures to Starscream* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, he'll try to get something out of this, but... not from Blurr. Not this time.* Whirl: *minister of reigious affairs* FakeProwl: I'm his /prisoner./ I wouldn't call myself "cabinet." B l u r r: Oh, I'm not. I'm just assuming he's not the only one. This fool can't lead a city alone. FakeProwl: If I was, this offer would never have been made. B l u r r: Oh, but you have done something once. Whirl: Pribably not, but as I said before--it's a city of idiotic NAILs who thought voting for HIM *gestures to Starscream* was a GOOD idea. Whirl: So I wouldn't be surprised if he WAS running the show alone. B l u r r: /snicker snort. Pats the coffin/ B l u r r: There's always a right hand mech... Starscream: The short answer is that I require /competent/ help. My own options for Enforcers, while useful for general brute tactics, are otherwise lacking. B l u r r: You need an assassin... FakeProwl: @Starscream «Speaking of which, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. They're rubbish at anything resembling police work. Trampling over crime scenes, destroying valuable evidence, et cetera.» Starscream: A secret police isn't very effective if everyone is in on the secret. I require the use of someone that is otherwise seperate from myself. Someone with their own agency. Starscream: And possess more pride than a simple gun for hire. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Either you need to hire a police force independent from your enforcers, or they need training.» Starscream: @P ::I'd rather hire a new force that hasn't yet proven to be completely useless.:: Whirl: *SECRET police? That's interesting* FakeProwl: @Starscream «I'd recommend that as well.» B l u r r: We're not an agency. We're pirates. FakeProwl: ... And, for future reference, the next time you try to form a secret police, maybe don't do it in the presence of one of Rodimus's crewmates and a foreign spymaster.» FakeProwl: ((that was supposed to be @starscream)) Starscream: ...Agency. Capability for independant action. Starscream: @Prowl ::Who said I'm forming a secret police?:: B l u r r: So what you want is someone who will come into your city and kill people you can't kill yourself? FakeProwl: @Starscream «For starters, you did.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «Even if that's not the final term you want to apply to him, the point still stands.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «If you're hiring an independent agent to perform jobs that can't be tied to you, DON'T have witnesses at the job interview that will be able to tie him to you.» Starscream: *Waves a hand dismissively. Whatever, language* More or less. Future tasks may include staged mobs, tactical strikes on key locations, that sort of stuff. Starscream: We can negotiate future jobs as they come up. Starscream: @Prowl ::One witness doesn't live in this plane of existance, and the other is a non-native Soundwave.:: B l u r r: / drums claws on the coffin and looks contemplative / FakeProwl: @Starscream «Yes, Whirl lives here. He's not FROM here but he immigrated to this Lost Light. He's a local.» Whirl: *snickers and nods at Blurr* Already, the job offers are rolling in. Who knew killing one pirate could be so lucrative? B l u r r: Oh, like Starscream would get one over on Thundertron FakeProwl: @Starscream «Everything you and Blurr have said to each other can be reported straight to Rodimus. OUR ROdimus.» Whirl: What? No. I meant, killing Thundertron has been a huge boost to your resume. FakeProwl: @Starscream «If he doesn't, it will only be because he likes Blurr—and someday he might decide he likes Blurr less than he dislikes you.» B l u r r: Oh. K-Kyeheheh. I suppose so. B l u r r: Among other things. Starscream: @Prowl ::Then I leave it up to you to figure out how to prevent Whirl from deciding to tattle.:: Whirl: Boost to morale. Boost to... your wallet. FakeProwl: @Starscream «Figure it out yourself. I spent four million years cleaning up unnecessary messes made by my superior; I didn't throw in my lot with you to do more of the same.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «I would have thought you'd spent enough time cleaning up YOUR superior's messes to know what a waste they are of a second's time.» B l u r r: Hmm... I suppose so. Though, I don't need money Whirl: Pfft. Everyone needs money, Teach. Write that down as lesson number one if you're gonna live here. FakeProwl: @Starscream «So. Excellent work handing damning blackmail material to your chief political rival. "Staged mobs and tactical strikes" indeed.» B l u r r: I'm not gonna LIVE here Starscream: Think it over for a while. I would like your answer within, oh, a week. B l u r r: /sNORT / Whirl: "Here" as in, "the multiverse at large, and not just your corner of it." B l u r r: Restate the terms. Starscream: Restricted access to Iacon with no extra access to Metroplex. Unescorted by Iacon mechs, with a limit of three crew members as company. Crew members can be exchanged. Starscream: Visitations are to be annouced when you break atmosphere, and are not to exceed one day with exceptions if the Emperor needs repairs. At least one Iacon mech will oversee but not interfere with repair FakeProwl: @Starscream «Still should have made it two mechs to oversee.» Starscream: You are permitted to mount a guard around the ship while grounded, as long as the guards do not move more thant twenty meters away. Starscream: @P ::I said at LEAST.:: B l u r r: /shifts and leans over the coffin to look at Starscream/ Targets assigned to me are subject to murder of any degree and the frames belong to me unless needed to evidence. In which case, they will be B l u r r: sent to me. FakeProwl: @Starscream «He's going to fight for it to be one every time. But fine.» B l u r r: / holds up a second digit to add to the first/ Any deaths caused by mass mobs are not my fault, as I cannot control what a mob does with their own rage. B l u r r: / a third digit, and this may surprise you/ I have to know the reason as to why the specific job is given. The /real/ reason. Starscream: Unless the target requires being killed ina specific way, I leave the method up to your descretion. Starscream: *Smirks* Want to make sure you're going after those that deserve it? B l u r r: / hums/ No, I want to know how long the murder needs to be dragged out before they die. Starscream: Very well. Whirl: *tilts his head, but doesn't say anything* B l u r r: / adds a fourth digit. Leans forward more/ And if you ever set me up, rest assured that I will come for you and tear you from your throne and spread your innards along the walls of your city. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy squints. He's pretty sure Starscream doesn't have that many innards.* Starscream: *he didn't specify how many walls* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Maybe, but two walls isn't that impressive a threat. It's gotta be like... twenty. Starscream's not big enough for twenty.* Whirl: *not with that attitude* FakeProwl: ((cut him up in tiny chunks. just smear a little on each wall.)) B l u r r: [[ yes good ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((go big or go home is his style)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((but yes carry on)) B l u r r: And if you put me in a cage, know that I will get out of it. I /always/ get out of it. Whirl: *for one, you have a willing jailbreaker who can bridge u out* Starscream: *that is the risk when dealing with these types, isn't it* Starscream: Naturally. You won't be very useful in a cage, after all. B l u r r: So they say. FakeProwl: @Starscream «His threats are more boring than Lockdown's.» FakeProwl: *he's not even contributing at this point, he's just griping.* B l u r r: / leans back a little/ Regardless... if anything happens to me, my crew knows who to call and how to get them here. Whirl: *shifts in the hammock pile and manages to get one leg free to streeetch* Well, I'm tired. And my medicine is wearing off. *looks at his empty canister* Whirl: So, I'm out. Whirl: *bobs his head at Zori* Good to see you again, Professor. ItsyBitsySpyers: #goodbye! Starscream: *a wave of the hand* Is that an agreement or are you going to deliberate on it more? Whirl: *bobs his head at Rumble, too* ItsyBitsySpyers: #um #I will be back soon #before the dog dies Starscream: (sORI Starscream: ((*zORI Whirl: Do what you gotta, mech. No pressure. Whirl: ((ZORI....)) B l u r r: / waves at Whirl / Whirl: *salutes Blurr, and does another series of bobs for Soundwave and Frenzy. Just bobbin away* FakeProwl: ((............... what dog. i missed something.)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Returns it.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((Whirl said Zori hadn't been around in a dog's age. Zori asked how old the dog was. The dog is apparently very old now.)) FakeProwl: ((oh. pffff.)) Whirl: *and with a bit of creative wriggling, he is free, and off* B l u r r: One more thing, Starscream. I want discounts on supplies. Starscream: Our economy is barely there and you want discounts? B l u r r: /holds out claw. Wiggles digits. Come on, shake hands with the devil and all that / B l u r r: I'll give them enough money. B l u r r: Pit, I can even bring them more business. Starscream: Somehow I have my doubts. Starscream: *but fine. Handshake it is* B l u r r: / shake shake / B l u r r: / snickering. Rattles claws on the top of the coffin/ Starscream: *this was definitely a bad idea but it's also a good idea so YOLO* B l u r r: / Grins. A very sharp toothed grin / FakeProwl: @Starscream «If you're done with this mistake—I have a far more valuable potential recruit for you to interview.» FakeProwl: @Starscream «Although I suggest NOT doing so in public.» FakeProwl: @Soundwave «While we have Starscream's attention—would you be ready for a job interview? Or do you need time to prepare?» *i.e., get some damn sleep* Starscream: @Prowl ::Suggestion noted. Especially if you're going to fuss this much.:: FakeProwl: @Starscream «YOU should be fussing. Honestly, you used to work with the Senate. Did you learn nothing about how to hide dirty laundry?» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Preparation requested. Last recharge date: six Earth days ago. Alertness, patience needed. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «How are you not dead.» FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Rhetorical question. Don't answer that.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Avoidance request obeyed. Will recharge tonight. Interview possible tomorrow night. Starscream: If we're all finished here, I believe it's time for me to leave. ItsyBitsySpyers: *A farewell ping with just as many formality tags as the greeting one.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Do you have space in your schedule tomorrow? You can interview him then.» FakeProwl: *has failed to mention who he's offering.* Starscream: *casual wave to Soundwave and Prowl and- yeah nah, not waving a Blurr even if they're now business partners* Starscream: @Prowl:: I have a few free spaces in the evening.:: FakeProwl: @Starscream «Good. Send Soundwave your available times. I'm sure something will overlap.» Starscream: *...points at Soundwave. This one?* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((has prowl considered a career in bomb dropping)) FakeProwl: *affirmative ping* FakeProwl: @Starscream «And for goodness sake, don't point.» Starscream: *A snort. Well, not exactly who he was expecting.* FakeProwl: ((ask carpessa)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ouch)) Starscream: @Prowl ::I'm the king. I can point if i want.:: ItsyBitsySpyers: *Primus, he's pointing. This is going to be a lot of work.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's not just sleeping tonight, he's sleeping in.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «You can't point if you want to keep potential secret assets secret.» Starscream: @PRowl ::Why, was it a secret that you wanted me to ping him?:: Starscream: *will send Soundwave the information for his free slots, tho* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Did you perhaps not notice that we're communicating over comms.» Starscream: ..Why is that, actually. You no longer have snide commentary to keep private. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Skims them and sends one (as yet undetermined but probably around the usual stream start time) back* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Because we're still on somebody else's ship that might be covered in cameras, and /nobody is supposed to know I'm working for you./» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Even if the ship isn't covered in cameras, they're sitting in the room with one sorta, so.* FakeProwl: @Starscream «Please, PRETEND to have a brain, and if you notice I'm doing something unusual assume it's for a good reason and follow my lead.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *And since Starscream is randomly answering the air....* [[He has no snide commentary because there is nothing to be snide about.]] Starscream: Oh no, not anymore. Starscream: *An affirmative ping to Soundwave. That tme is fine* ItsyBitsySpyers: *At least Starscream had the sense to go along with that. Mostly.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Indeed. Please excuse him, Lord. We must return.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rises and summons his crowd. A ping to Prowl (and one to Blurr if he's still around) and they'll all get docked and on their way* Starscream: I was just heading out myself, unless Prowl requires my attention? FakeProwl: No, I'm sure you'd just make my headache worse. Starscream: Then we can agree on something. Goodnight. FakeProwl: *disappears*

#chat

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oracleadyton-blog · 7 years

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Messed up sleep schedule so i’ve been trying to get into the groove in the past few days. I’ve ordered a nice (? it’s IKEA) rug for my bedroom and it should be here next week. Hopefully it’ll warm up my room a bit and will create a bit more space to place microphones and whatnot. This is the last week before i have the house for my own for the coming year and hopefully i’ll be able to work a lot more consistently. Also i hope this is the last chunk of my life i spend here but hey who knows. But today it’s a busy day.

Hell in a Cell just finished. It was good! And KING OF PRO-WRESTLING will air in a couple of hours. And it’ll be awesome. But first!

Hell in a Cell 2017. Didn’t caught the pre-show. Yawn.

The Usos defeated The New Day (Big E and Xavier Woods) (c) in a Hell in a Cell match for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship.

The show started quite strong with twenty minutes of good action; unfortunately the match had the kind of violence that would greatly benefit from some blood in order to really click but it was fine anyway. Right from the beginning the cage played a huge role, as it should. Huge tope from Big E, then some 2 on 1 action. This was kind of the leitmotiv of the match, as the two teams kept outnumbering each other. Weapons also played a huge part giving it a sort of hardcore/Lethal Lockdown flavour. After a moment of Usos dominance Big E started a comeback but was stopped by a superkick. A couple of cool double team manoeuvres - Uranage+backstabber from the apron, a huge UpUpDownDown - and a kick out. The Usos brought out some kendo sticks and start torturing Woods in front of Kofi. Consecutives top rope splashes on Big E who kicks out. After that Langston with a huge come back and power moves with good psychology. You could read in his face he wanted to punish the Usos for going hard at Woods. From this point on the selling becomes kinda weird, as huge moves won’t really matter. More weapons, more back and forth until the Usos manage to do a double top rope splash with a chair on Big E for the win.

Very entertaining match. Crowd was kinda cold but i understand the idea of putting HiaC on both ends of the show. The unconsistent selling towards the end really didn’t do it for me so yeah. 3.75 starz.

Randy Orton defeated Rusev

Right from the beginning Rusev is great at selling his anger towards Orton for crashing his Rusev Day celebration a couple of weeks ago. While this was a classic WWE style match and so a bit predictable i didn’t mind much, as the two guys are good and work well enough with each other. The problem is that the fued doesn’t have much in it so for the majority of the match the crowd wasn’t into it. For the first 3 quarters of it the pace was also - very - slow, as usual in most Orton matches, but there were a couple of good spots. Rusev did a nice spinning heel kick that got a nice pop - it’s a shame he doesn’t do athletic stuff more often - while The Viper hit a backdrop on the barricade outside. Rusev didn’t sold it much. In the last quarter of the match the action really picked up and the crowd was into it: the Bulgarian went for the Accolade but Orton escaped outside. They made their way back inside the ring and Randy hit the elevated DDT. Goes for the RKO taunt but Rusev catches him in the Accolade again. Orton counters, RKO, 123.

I don’t like the idea that all that matters to a match are entrances and finishes but the duo managed to leave a good impression on me by doing exactly that. Formulaic for sure but i have to give them props. Not sure where this leaves Rusev tho. 3.25 starz.

Baron Corbin defeated AJ Styles (c) and Tye Dillinger for the US Championship.

So the match was made a triple threat in the pre-show as Tye went to Daniel Bryan and asked for a chance, since he defeated Corbin last week. The GM agreed and they made the cheesy 10/YES! chant. Great tv moment. The problem is that when Tye came out nobody cared. Some booos, even. But hey, personally i find Corbin 1-on-1 matches boring as hell so this was an improvement. We have seen these guys going at each other for weeks now so the sparkle, in pure main roster fashion, in gone but having it a 3-way kept it fresh. In the beginning AJ and Tye teamed on Corbin and then went to do some nice chain wrestling between themselves. The match had a very long and slow mid section with Baron going at the two guys one-on-one alternately. This was clearly a showcase match for Corbin and i’m not sure it worked. AJ made a huge comeback and managed to warm the crowd a bit. He’s truly great: worked Tye as a heel and Baron as a face at the same time. Another cool AJ-Tye section with reversals. A 450 splash on Corbin and Dillinger breaks the pin. Then a Phenomenal Forearm on Tye but Baron is able to throw AJ to the outside and pin Dillinger himself.

It wasn’t bad as it could. Tye is weird, it has good moments but wasn’t really able to put Corbin over who won stealing the pin which is interesting. He’s clearly not portrayed as a monster anymore. Hopefully AJ moves to better things. 2.75 starz.

Charlotte Flair defeated Natalya (c) via disqualification for the WWE SmackDown Women's Championship.

From a pure wrestling standpoint this was my match of the night. The finish was a screwy mess but that’s what they do so yeah. Charlotte got a uberface promo package with his dad and all that jazz and Nattie really carries that belt well. She looked great. Match starts with Flair having fun, showing her physical talent but Natalya commences working her leg viciously. Charlotte’s selling was so great during the course of the match and really made it for me. Cool sit out power bomb by the Canadian, Flair kicks out. Charlotte went for the Moonsault two times without success but finally hits the third on the outside. At this point i had the match bordering four stars, considering its unfavourable position on the card, being given short time - 12 minutes, good for fourth best on the card and tied with Mahal-Nakamura but still - and a pretty dead crowd (not their fault) but they went for a DQ finish. Nattie grabbed a chair and hit Flair.

With little time they managed to tell a clear story balancing spots and psychology. Natalya is a very solid performer, hope they have more time down the line. The finish didn’t do much for me, i think Charlotte could have eaten a pin given the good selling. 3.5 starz.

Jinder Mahal (c) (with The Singh Brothers) defeated Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship.

If Jinder’s push was for the US Championship i could be behind it. He’s a good cartoon villain, has a great entrance and looks intense. Plus his trunks are great. But he’s astonishingly boring. He’s only capable of working the WWE style and it doesn’t mesh well with the limitations they put on Nakamura’s working ability. But the crowd was enough into it to create a nice atmosphere. Mahal did a nice suplex and basement dropkick early on. After a couple of interferences both Singh Brothers got thrown out by the referee (Lil’Naitch). Kinshasa by Nakamura but it takes time for the ref to come back in the ring so Jinder has time to recover and reaches the ropes. Shinsuke goes for another one but Mahal dodges an catches him with the Khallas for the pin.

The belt means nothing. The match was fine. Serviceable. Given the history and the supposed prestige of the belt it’s not enough. Not sure where this leaves Nakamura though. Technically he lost clean and i absolutely get why someone who has never seen him in NJPW is rather puzzled by the anticipation that preceded his arrival. Jinder looks weirdly strong and we are left wondering. 2 starz.

Bobby Roode defeated Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph came in dressed in black with no music or titantron. Maybe he’s really going away. Maybe it’s best for him. Roode got his usual reaction, although is strange seeing him smiling so much. Match started with hard hits by Bobby but we rapidly transitioned into the beatdown of the face phase of the match. The two have good chemistry but the program is so empty. Some weird “Let’s go Ziggler” chants at this point. In the end Ziggler goes for a Sweet Chin Music, Roode evades and tries a Glorious DDT but Ziggler escapes. Some back and forth as they exchange roll ups as Roode finally wins with a handful of tights. Right after the finish Ziggler catches him with a ZigZag.

A heel turn? With Ziggler? Weird. Maybe they’re planting the seeds. Maybe the fuel will go into the later part of the year. They both need a strong program so maybe it’s time to move to better things. 2.15 starz.

Kevin Owens defeated Shane McMahon in a Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell match.

It’s always difficult for Owens to generate some legit heel heat. I mean the guy is almost right in his quest to kill Shane McMahon. They brawl outside right from the get-go then they come into the cage and start working it. Shane is a really bad worker but if he’s with someone good enough to carry the match for him, he can tell a good story. Hit a nice DDT, tries the shooting star press (again) but fails (again) as KO evades. Cool powerbomb countered with an armbar by SOM and then a Coast 2 Coast! With a garbage bin. Poor Owens. So the structure was pretty classic as a brawl leads into a KO beatdown of the face and that led to Shane (long) come back. They go outside of the cage and as Owens sets SOM con the Spanish table and prepares for some sort of splash from the barricade he decides that no, it isn’t enough. Stares at the top of the cage, points at his elbow (great touch) and starts climbing. So Shane eventually reaches him and they fight on top of the cell. This was cool but went forever. Basically they teased breaking the cage and falling a bunch of times until KO falls on a table while climbing down the cage. Shane doesn’t pin him and goes for the elbow from the top but El GenerIMEAN SAMI ZAYN pulls Owens away then lays him on top of Shane, 123.

As for the tag match, it would have been better with a bloodbath. But, luckily, they don’t do that kind of stuff anymore. They told a clear story and Sami Zayn involvement was interesting, to say the least. Lots of emotions. 4 starz.

So yeah! That was it. A really enjoyable show! I’m not sure i’ll keep doing this longish reviews though since i’m the only one reading them. Probably i’ll stick to rating and a couple of general thoughts. Next: King of Pro-Wrestling, from Tokyo Sumo Hall. Spoiler: it was awesome.

#WWE #wwe hell in a cell

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