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ice-cream-writes-stuff · 1 year

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■□▪︎COURTING▪︎□■ Part 1

{Miguel O'hara/Reader}

《You decided to screw around with biology/Your attempts at trying to wooTHEE Miguel O'hara.》

"Pav, Hobbie, Gwen! Hiya!" Your enthusiastic voice calls out to the younger Spiderlings. Jess, who sees you happily taking the teens in a group hug. It catches Miles off guard but reciprocates the hug. Gwen flinches, but relaxes in your hold. While Pav snuggles into your warmth, Hobbie groans playfully, patting you on the back.

You chuckle and let them go, before smiling brightly at Jess and waving at her stomach. "Hi little buggy! Your mom is doing an amazing job! Don't make it hard for her!" You tease, causing Jess to lightly chuckle at your antics.

˚Female Wolf Spiders have a strong attachment to their children since they (unlike most spiders) carry them around in their egg sac and do not abandon them. They even protect their newborns after they hatch."

"So... How did the first mission go?" You said warmly, gazing at the teens pridefully. Miles smiles, chatting excitedly. Even pulling out a small art book he had brought with him, drawing a small doodle of what the villain looked like.

"Oh, oh!" Pav excitedly raises his hand, taking your attention.

"Yes?"

"How's it been going with getting the bossmans attention?" Hobbie interrupts with a playful smile directed at Pavitr. "I wanted to ask that!" Pavitr whines as all the young Spiderlings gaze at you.

Jess laughs as you smile happily.

"It's been going well! I think-" You pause as a small noise alerts you.

"I'll have to tell ya'll later, I was assigned another mission, see you soon!"

As soon as you left, Miles turns the page of the paper as little notes and comments are written all over the place. A small doodle of Miguel in his spider suit glaring at you in your own spider suit.

"It oddly feels like bingo.." Gwen remarks. Laughing slightly at her own set of notes, she added.

"I mean, you can't blame us! (Y/N) is literally pulling out all the tricks to get Miguel!" Pavitr says, adding a small heart between the two doodles of you and Miguel.

■ Attempt one!■

Males in a few species locate a female and unceremoniously run to her and mate, others court by rhythmically plucking the threads of a web. After the female approaches, he pats and strokes her before mating.

After a long and stressful mission and capturing another anomaly. Your team follows behind you, groaning tiredly and a bit slow to your up-beat pace.

"Miguel~!"

The futuristic Spider-Man eyes your group, nodding to them for their job well done.

Miguel then growls when feeling you pounce on his unmoving body. You hug his waist tightly as Lyla snidely. Your group, afraid of your well-being, beg you to let go. Fearing that he'd kill you, or the more plausible idea, throw you into a wall.

Miguel scoffs as your grip becomes tighter, struggling to get you off of him as you squeal happily.

■Attempt two!■

Wolf Spiders perform a mating ritual that are a combination of visual display and vibrations akin to a courtship song. IF the female denies, she may eat the male.

You twirl and swing beautifully in the air, singing to the song playing in the background as you and Miguel track down a music themed Vulture.

When a male jumping spider encounters a female—literally any female—he launches into an elaborate courtship dance, including rhythmic flailing of limbs and complex vibrations.

Miguel rolls his eyes at your small movements that look like you were dancing. Your groove, not being thrown off as you manage to pull Miguel into a clumsy one-sided waltz as you kick the (finally) tied down Vulture.

His mean comments not helping your dancing as Miguel quietly chuckles at your actions.

[Part two will be released soon! This is gonna be probably one of my best series yet! Taglist is open for ONE HOUR. Comments are highly appreciated and need to keep this series going! Thank you guys so much!]

(Also, (Y/N) is GN! Miggy is male.)

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gabrielokun · 1 year

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Hi. You watch a lot of dramas/series. Do you have any favorites? If you do, what's your top 20 favorite Asian BL dramas/series?

Hi, anon)) thank you for asking. Sorry, it took a while) but I have to prepare a visual representation to compensate for the lack of writing skills))) english is hard T_T

anyway, here are some of my favorite things

Love by Chance (2018)

The show that started it all (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡ Yep, my first Bl therefore I just must include it. Is is a good show? - not really. BUT! AePete are my babies, I love them. Nobody does it like them ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

2. My Only 12% (2022)

Childhood friends to lovers done right! My favorite show of the last year. It is a slooooow burn but it's so worth it! Very lively and real boys. great family and friend dynamics, kind of meh last story outside of CakeEwi but still…If you want some great friendship slowly blooming into romance this is the show

3. Kieta Hatsukoi (2021)

Super cute show. All characters are amazing, story well written, minimum hurt all the comfort. Good girl-not an enemy (im really easy too please ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀) xd)

4. 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii (2020)aka Cherry magic

JapBL are totally for me when they do fluff, (cause their angst is on a such level I need a lifetime to process it xd)

but this one is so fluffy (ฅ́ ˘ฅ̀)♡ They make me happy and I grateful for it

5. My Ride (2022)

Speaking of fluff °ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ° Other couples are kind of boring But! Mork's uncles, MorkTawan's adopted son (still a bit salty we didnt see him again, Tawan should've had more parenting time, he is clearly a great dad ଘ(੭◌ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚) natural growth of their friendship into love *_*. This one is good!

6.Color Rush (2020)

I love soulmates. Its short, simple story but with very interesting and original idea.

7. Hello Stranger (2020)

Such a simple story but the way it was done is amazing! Falling in love through web camera (੭ ˊ^ˋ)੭ ♡ Characters have such an incredible chemistry even tho they have minimum personal contact(kudos to actors they done well)))

I Will Knock You (2022)

Okay, yes age gap not for everyone. But again it was done very respectful. ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა I love love love Noey's ˖°.✧aesthetic✧˖°., his room is my fave ngl, i want everything he has))))I love this delusional king He was so sure Thi is into him from the second they met and i live for it.

9. Until We Meet Again (2019)

I love soulmates 2. I just love this show. Its gonna traumatize you and then comforts you with cutest fluffiest boys that going through it

10. Vice Versa (2022)

I didn't like it at first

Puen annoyed me too much ૮꒰˶> ༝ <˶ ꒱ა but then I binge rewatch it in one weekend and I just fall for it. Its so good))) I love soulmates 3 and it's super pretty. I love colors

11. About Youth (2022)

Show where I love main and second couple the same ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ thats rare))) Again very simple story but told beautifly

12. HIStory2 Right or Wrong (2018)

Let's talk HIStory. They kind of getting worse imho. 4 and 5 were just fine. thats sucks ʚ₍ᐢ ›̥̥̥ ༝ ‹̥̥̥ ᐢ₎ɞ i still love them tho

HIStory2 Right or Wrong (2018) 13. HIStory3 Trapped (2019) and 14. HIStory2 Crossing the Line (2018)

are superior for me. but just watch any of them they all are worth your time

15. Our Dating Sim (2023)

Second chance romance done very very right!

16. Oxygen (2020)

Good fluffy fluff. P'Phu and his bunny are so precious. Main are cute and sweet and adorable. Ignore weird girl and doctor everything else is just so lovely

17. Light on Me (2021)

Love triangle done right. Good light fluffy show that did hurt so good (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

18. To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories (2022)

I love how they told this story

19. Not Me (2021)

its hard to explain how good this show is, its more serious than usual bls, great acting, amazing story, strong message told through not just cinematography but art and dance too. its truly great show

20. Triage (2022)

Time loops are fun

+ some honorable mentions

Ingredients (2020)

not a show))) just an add but damn. It such a feel good little comfort add Jeff and Gameplay have an amazing chemistry, simple slice of life stories but so good , mutual pining done so well

anything by strongberry, literally just go at their YT chanel and enjoy ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚

emmmm that a long post sorry

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stormyoceans · 6 months

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The dark season is nice for some, but quite hard for others.

To tackle this, we're launching once again this year's "Secret Helpers" and everyone is invited to join in!

How does it work?

It's very simple!

Choose 5 fan works. It doesn't matter whether they are gifs, video edits, fanarts, metas, analyses or fanfictions. Do you have something that has completely changed, inspired, destroyed or touched you? THAT'S what you need!

And now it goes on

Step 2: Write feedback to the creator of your favorite. No matter how long, how short, no matter what language, no matter if anonymous or under your official account, write what you liked and why. Jump over your shadow and let them know that this work of theirs has given you a good time.

Step 3: Spread "Secret Helpers" anonymously to others. No matter who you come across on tumblr or elsewhere on the internet, whether mutual or random, send them the instructions and let them keep spreading good news.

A lot of things are not going well lately. So we try to let those who give us a little break in the chaos know that we're glad to have them.

FAQ:

I have only seen one fan work that I liked. - No problem, write to the person anyway.

Isn't that weird? - Nope. (We are on the internet. Everything is kinda weird and ey, you don’t have to use your official account to send the feedback)

There. Are. TOO MANY! - 5 is a minimum number. If you have the time, write to as many as you want, everyone will be happy to get some compliments on their work!

The creators I like are all totally unknown - Especially for fanartists who don't get much feedback yet, each of those is worth its weight in gold. The fanfiction is amazing, but only has 2 comments? Become number 3! The fanart has 36 likes, but looks like a fucking work of art? Write that to the creator! Motivation is all babeyyy, regardless of whether it's the fandom favorite or someone completely new.

Have fun and good luck Secret Helpers!

THIS IS SUCH A LOVELY PROJECT!!!!!!!!! it's so important to spread positivity, especially to content creators who often have to deal with a lack of feedback and their works getting stolen, so im glad you gave me the chance to do this by sharing it with me, anon, thank you!!!!!!

i think that to follow the rules of the project i should probably write to the creators in private or by sending them an ask (?), but to try to give them more visibility and help them reach new people who maybe aren't familiar with their works yet, i thought i could talk a little about some of my favorites here (not that i have that many followers but you know. also for the two creators who aren't on tumblr i WILL make sure to leave them a nice comment too), so here we go!!!!!

in no particular order:

the entire vice versa web weaving series by @daymork. i tell you i wish i could have all these edits collected in one of those fancy ass art books with a hard cover that cost almost a hundred bucks just so that i could flip through it at any given moment to contemplate the beauty of said edits and cry myself to sleep holding it to my chest as i think about puentalay. i have no idea how jessi did it but every single quote she used for these is so perfect that no matter how many times i reread them they never fail to reduce me to a sobbing mess of a woman who is in dire need of receiving mental health care provided by professionals in an institutionalized setting. my point is. i love them. i love them a lot.

the quote by ocean vuong last twilight edit by @morkofday. i could literally put any of vish’s vice versa edits here because it’s like they’re all specially crafted to deal as much emotional damage as humanly possible to me personally, but in the end i decided to pick this one because, to this day, it’s still my favorite last twilight edit ever made. there's just something about it that stayed with me since i first saw it a whole year ago (im not even kidding when i say i think about it an average of twelve times per day) and even if it was done based on the mock trailer alone, vish was somehow able to perfectly capture the spirit of the show, not just by using that particular quote (which is incredibly spot on like when day and mork were talking about tenderness in episode 4 i thought of this edit right away and had to go punch through a wall to cope) but also because of the colors and the pictures that she chose.

the the man who can't be moved puentalay gifset by @seatawinans. you think episode 11 of vice versa has already reached the pinnacle of life altering emotional devastation and cathartic experience, and then you see this gifset and suddenly you find yourself decaying into subatomic particles to cope, committing grand scale larceny and arson to deal, and doing daily affirmations like 'this is affecting me a normal amount! :)' in front of the mirror every morning to survive. truly i have no words to properly express just how much the 'thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet/and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street' lines over the glasshouse scenes make me sick in the head, it's the parallelism romanticism soulmatism of it all and somehow cassi managed to make it worse (read: better).

the underneath the stars by the cure morkday fanart by twitter user @bleu1te. i honestly love all of bleuité's puentalay and morkday works so much, there's just something so soft and tender in the way this artist draws them that every time i look at their art it gives me the same feeling of safety and comfort that i so deeply associate with these two pairings. i picked this one in particular because i fell in love with it as soon as i saw it, i love the colors, i love the starry sky behind them, i love their expressions, and most of all i love the hand placement. idk how to explain it, but i think the way they're touching just really conveys how much they adore each other.

the enchanted by taylor swift morkday video by twitter user @jimmyseagatitos. you know when someone punches you in the stomach and it hurts so much that you just start laughing hysterically? this is the closest description i can give to try to explain what this video did to me on a psychological emotional spiritual mental and physical level. and because apparently im a masochist i've been rewatching it only like 92649626 times in the span of three days. i also think it's pretty damn genius to end the edit on the 'i'll spend forever wondering if you knew' line of the song because it leaves everything unspoken just what mork never got to say.

this is obviously very far from being a comprehensive list (especially since my memory is pretty bad and my main interests are currently very limited ;;;;), so for the next couple of weeks i will try to reach out to my favorite creators (in private this time, i promise) and give them some love!!!!! and if anyone sees this, please consider doing it too!!!!!

#im not good at writing comments and i should have probably waited to do this on a day where i felt better about my english and my words but #i know myself and i would end up procrastinating this so i still wanted to try to do something #i've also never done something like this so please let me know if i did something wrong!!!!#secret helpers #m: ask #last twilight the series #vice versa

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wiredalienvampire · 2 years

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OK so, my thoughts on the don't hug me I'm scared tv series (warning for spoilers)

I don't know how to fully organize them so I'll just start with my biggest thought

The characters (specifically the main 3) are much more fleshed out and have more defines personalities and while it's much different than the original series and was much different than I thought it would be I still love how they're characterized. They're assholes who share a brain cell but at the same time you get the idea that they still care about each other no matter how often they bicker and fight?? U know with how red guy interacts with yellow during the car scene when he was talking about living in a community in episode 5, yellow guy and red guy grieving over duck in episode 2, that one fucking scene when red guy and duck guy say they like looking at each other in 6...love wins/hj. Sure it's mainly the trio being assholes for the sake of comedy but idk those moments kinda tell me that they secretly care about one another. When it comes to the individual trio themselves they're wonderful, duck guy is this fussy unhinged chipper asshole and is the funniest character of this series,every time he yells or says something out of left field in episode 2, it always kills me I love him. Red guy is an absolute blorbo, he's much more different than he was in the YouTube series,he has more emotion and enthusiasm in his voice instead of being monotone and bored sounding which felt surreal to hear but I got used to it pretty quickly,its still deep and calm sounding but I don't mind the change, he has a similar wacky quirk to him like the other 2 characters but is still more of a middle man and is much nicer than them,he's pretty dorky,weirdly friendly and just really laid back and awkward,and I love him <3, I loved him in the YouTube series and I love him even more in the tv show. Yellow guy is an interesting case,he's kind of a punching bag when it comes to some of the shows jokes especially when it comes to the trio but hsi personality is much more close to his pilot counterpart, he's naive,innocent and child like but has a sense of edge to him like when he literally hit duck with broken glass the end of ep 4, he's also more blunt? I love him alot and his role in the 6th episode is something I think about alot.. if you know then u know..

Another thing I wanna talk about is pretty much the tone and changes the tv show has in contrast to the web series

This series is more focused on comedy with the banter between the cast and also the surreal humor being put up to 11 which is the best parts of the show, its much more fast paced and wacky which is super entertaining, it still had the horror from the original series and while I perfer the more eerie horror of the web show the tv show is amazingly terrifying,it's much more gory and you get this sense of dread when your further in the episode and it really makes you uncomfortable at points like the end of episode 5 or just the entirety of episode 2,like Roy being implied to have cannibalized the family in the end is genuinely scary like Jesus christ 😭. I appreciate how it kept the spirit of the show in general even if it's much different than its counterpart and it just feels like don't hug me I'm scared.

And I also wanna talk about the production value of the show and God is it amazing

I love the different art mediums the show uses,like 2d animation,stop motion, claymation,it makes the series much more unique and it's just so well done, the set design is great, and everyone looks so colorful it makes me so happy, off topic is but I love the references and fanservice the show gives like teacher cameos and references to iconic lines from the web show, like pesky bee, the old teachers like tony,Colin, the fucking lamp, and even the steak guy at one point,it's fun Easter eggs for fans while also being enjoyable for newcomers, everything looks so polished.

And last thing I wanna talk about is the story, like the original show,shit hits the fan during the later episodes but are hinted with the continuous shenanigans with the teachers, it starts getting real with episode 5 and I genuinely got really invested,wondering what will happen next and man the ending is something I won't stop thinking about aside from the scene with the gay puppets, I wanna know more about Lesley and how the whole thing shoe does works because she seems so interesting and I hope that they're would be more episodes so we could know more about her

So those are my thoughts on the series, tldr it's freaking wonderful and worth the 6 years of waiting,it might have alot of differences from the web series but there's something for fans like myself to enjoy! I loved it alot and I'm just so happy this show got to see the light of day <3

#dhmis spoilers #dhmis #dont hug me im scared #*ramble txt

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bidokja · 10 months

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hey.. i just binge-read villain initiation after seeing your post about it ending the other day, and i just have to wonder why you would want to inflict such pain on your followers. It so good!!!!!! I swear to god it somehow made me tear up more than orv did (i had to stop many times while reading the last few chapters because my eyes were so blurry i couldnt appreciate the art (which is phenominal!!!!! I spent so long reading because i was just entranced by the lines and the shading and the poses and everything)). Its just so,,,,,, idk, but the characters! The themes! The parallels! The internal conflict!!! Its all so good!!! anyways, thank you for ruining my life by reccommending such a beautiful story, i hope youre having a wonderful day! :D -sorry about pseudo anonness, i just am super nervous lmao. Also sorry for any typos its about 2am while im writing this because i need to get my thoughts down after finishing such a great series

OMGGG IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT (and i hope u ahd a nice day as well!)!!! im so glad i get to rec this hidden gem to more people its SO genuinely amazing. i know the rough translation of the first few chapters and certain pacing points can make things hard to follow (certain chapters jumping around a lil too much is probably the one (1) critique i have of villinit) but i just!!! ilove villinit so much. i love the story. i love the characters. i love what they all have done and did do and will do for each other. and as you said the art is just STUNNING genuinely some of the nicest art and paneling i've ever seen in a web comic (much less a long-strip format one!). all the little outfits. all the character designs. all the emotions conveyed. the strength and painful clarity of the parallels and foils....honestly this one is villinits strongsuit imo. i just! i love villain initialization!

villinit is so genuinely GOOD like its a story about...so much. it about how isolated wrongs committed against each other are also larger wrongs committed against us all. it's about how this isn't an excuse for perpetuation. it's about desperately holding on. it's about throwing it all away. giving yourself the chance to change. recognizing the ability to do so within yourself. recognizing the ability in others. just what is guilt? what is blame? what is responsibility? what do these look like when you can turn back time? what do these look like when you actually can't? what does it all mean for us, individually? what does it all mean for us, when it comes to each other?

#genuinely smiling so big rn!#feel free to come into my inbox whenever i don't bite!#sorry anon is gonna be off for a bit longer i had some assholes in my inbox just over a weel ago and im Not dealing w that asjdhfg #ask #villinit

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ruinationz · 1 year

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Guhhh more writing from flippy

Desc from ao3:

(caine voice) cold hands are often a sign that your body is trying to maintain its regular body temperature always having cold hands, however, could mean there's a problem with your blood flow or th

(or, pomni has a bad dream. caine wants to be there for her, even if none of them understand why.)

(it's ya girl back at it again with theory lore lol this is kinda an afterstory of this art i did)

(one of the shorter ones i've done)

(would it count as a request if someone requested the idea after i had the draft?)

actual fic under the cut

That...bizarre ringmaster of the digital circus had discovered the concept of sleep.

So naturally, he had offered to everyone the opportunity to do so after the show. (Which was a collective relief, considering the zany things he had put them all through prior.)

With that, everyone happily obliged to the idea, going their separate ways for the night.

Of course...with sleep, comes dreaming.

And with dreams, come nightmares.

And with nightmares, comes Pomni shooting up in her bed in a cold sweat, gripping onto her black nightgown as she opened her mouth in a silent scream.

...

How pathetic.

"MY DEAR? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS THE MATTER?"

Pomni sharply turned her head with widened eyes to find Caine standing by her bedside.

"AH...I-I'M SORRY IF I SURPRISED YOU, MY DEAR....I SIMPLY JUST WISHED TO CHECK ON MY PERFORMERS. " He said sheepishly, messing with his hands as he looked away for a second and then back to her.

"ARE YOU...ARE YOU ALRIGHT....?"

...

It took her a while to finally calm herself down to the point where she could speak to him properly.

"...I had...a-a bad dream."

Caine tilted his head to the side in curiosity, almost like a dog of some sorts. "A BADDREAM?"

She nodded. "Y-Yeah..."

"WELL...WOULD IT BE HELPFUL IF WE...TALKED ABOUT THAT DREAM...?"

Pomni stared down at the sheets of her bed, then motioned to an empty spot nearby her. "C...Could you...sit down? I-It would make it easier to talk..."

The ringmaster obliged, the weight of the bed shifting ever so slightly as he settled himself down next to her. "...GO AHEAD WHEN YOU ARE READY, MY ASSISTANT."

...

It fell into silence as she made an attempt to find the words to convey how she was feeling.

"...I-It's not like it's...new, you know..."

She stared up at the wall. "...In fact...i-it's one of the first thoughts I've had since I've been here. M-Maybe..." She paused for a moment, before continuing. "...Maybe it w-wasn't a dream at all..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

...

"...I..."

Pomni found herself unable to respond. "I..I-I don't...know."

She gave a sigh and put her head in her hands.

"I-I'm stabbing myself, and then all of a sudden, it's me with the kn-knife. But...why? Wh-Why does it have to happen to m-me specifically...? An-And why is it so f-familiar...??"

...

I need help, don't I?

"...OH...MY DEAR, I..."

She felt Caine slowly, yet gently, put a hand on her shoulder. "I MAY NOT...UNDERSTAND FULLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, BUT...I WISH TO BE HERE FOR YOU."

"B-But why...?"

Pomni looked back up at him. "I-I'm scared. I'm scared that y-you'll think I'm insane for all of this..."

"NOW, WHY WOULD I THINK THAT, MY DEAR?"

...

"...I don't know. I d-don't know, I-I just don't..."

She looked back away from him. "I-I'm sorry...I must've been a b-bother by talking about th-this...I'm s-sorry..."

...

As it fell back into silence, the ringmaster carefully pulled her into an embrace.

"...PLEASE, DON'T APOLOGIZE, MY DEAR. YOU HAVE NOT BURDENED ME. YOU...YOU NEVER WILL." He reassured, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that began to form in her eyes. "NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL ALWAYS TRY TO BE HERE FOR YOU."

It was a strange, electric warmth, one that was unnatural...yet comforting. She couldn't help but grow drowsy as she sunk into it.

"...Thank you, Caine."

A hand was placed on Pomni's head as she drifted back to sleep.

"OF COURSE, MY DEAR."

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #pomni #caine #gooseworx #flippy.txt

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raylangivins · 2 years

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Hello!

Your Top 5 favourite books ? Could be something that you've reread again & again or something so great that you read it once and would not go back to because it was so tragic etc?

Ahhh anon, I was actually already separately drafting a different list of books wot i like just because I feel I've been doing a lot of book hateratin' in my tags lately, so thank you for this!

In no particular order...

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel: I think everyone's read this because it's a bestseller, but it really is that good. It snuck up on me when I first read it. I didn't really process how much I loved it until it was like months after I finished it and I was still thinking about it. I love the themes of how art and humanity go hand in hand, and how the human nature to create will persist. It's a really lovely message from, and one that feels more realistic to the real world than the general trends in post-apocalyptic stuff (which I tend to read a lot). I re-read this during lockdown season 1 because, given the uncomfortable similarities between this book and the early pandemic, I really wanted to connect with that message again. The TV adaptation is also incredible in its own right too.

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier: I read this for the first time like last year and whether you know the story or not I cannot over-emphasise how much fun it is to read. The absolute adrenaline rush and second-hand embarrassment when Mrs de Winter gets ready for the costume party, and you know it's not gonna go well. Riveting! Horrible! No spoilers but when the reveal finally happened I felt like I'd just done a hit of cocaine. I've made a web-weaving post about this before, but elements of it reminded me so much of Phantom Thread. They're like the inverse of each other. Genuinely such a fun read.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck: The only book I read in school that I actually liked. I remember I started reading the homework chapters on the train home from school one day and was so absorbed I kept reading it as I walked home like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, and then I kept reading it when I got home and didn't even eat lunch I was so enraptured, and then my mam came home and found me sobbing at the kitchen table because I'd just finished it, and she was panicking like "what happened?" and I'm like "Lennie just wanted to pet some rabbit 😭😭😭"

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: My childhood favourite. This book is sooooo beautiful. Really brutal, but I'm really glad I read this as a kid, because I think, while adults can still appreciate it, childhood is when this one really hits. Absolutely gorgeous writing. The POV coming from Death Personified is still absolutely genius to me. Another one that I binged (at a sleepover at my childhood best friends house) only to be caught sobbing at the end.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn: My fave of Flynn's that I've read. Gone Girl is fun but this one is just visceral. The sense of suspense and discomfort in every word of this is so palpable. Thee literal definition of a thriller. There were parts that genuinely made me flinch, but I simply could not look away.

Honorary mentions:

I always really love everything Jon Ronson writes, though idk if I'd ever call any of them my favourites. I think he has a really amazing way of getting horrific people to say the quiet part out loud, and not even realise they're doing it. His books are always so funny. Them and So You've Been Publicly Shamed are my faves among his work. His podcast series called The Last Days of August is also really good.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention them raven cycle books because Adam Parrish is my son. I raised him. Not my favourite books except for all the ways in which they are.

Territory of Light by Yuko Tsushima: I don't know if I'd call this a favourite either, but I always recommend it to people because it's short and easy, and I don't think many people have heard of it. I picked it up on a whim when I was in a reading slump, and I just loved the way the atmosphere is built up. It also plays around with how love and resentment can coexist within a relationship, which is a theme I personally love dearly.

#sorry these are all really basic answers because everyone loves all of these #i'm not a deep cut person. i like what i like.#replies #anon

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nickmedoroart · 1 year

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Every year my fiancé and I review what we watched, read, or played over the year. It's our little content catalogue, so I figured why not share some of the best things of 2022 we went though and if any of you are interested to go and check them out! Starting with movies, we watched a ton this year but these are probably my favorite 4 of the year: Everything Everywhere is a super unique movie that stands as my movie of the year. It does everything so well. RRR is a bombastic bollywood movie that depicts the greatest bromance I've ever seen. It's wild from start to finish and my runner up for the year. The Batman stands tall in an over-saturated genre of super hero movies. It has an artistic vision that feels lost in other super hero movies today. The Exorcist isn't new exactly but it's new to me and it really is as timeless as it has been. It's an interesting perspective dealing with the questioning of faith and what it can do to people.

Shows! No shock I watch mostly animated things and these are my top 4 among them: Morel Orel is just...so...difficult to describe. It's pure dark comedy but over the show's lifespan it evolves into a dark, deep character driven show about the roots of desire and sin. That and it has probably one of the most accurate depictions of an alcoholic abuser father I've ever seen. Primal. Pure art. Genndy, known for Samurai Jack and Powerpuff Girls, takes us to a pre-historic world with no voices. The show is carried by visuals and letting you feel every snapping stick in it's environment. While Orel is my show of the year, I can't stress enough how amazing Primal is too. Jojo in general. I finished Part 4, 5, and 6 this year but throughout ALL of Jojo, nothing beats Part 4. The small hometown with a small cast is just candy to me, but add in that strange Jojo sauce and MWAH. Love it. Don't Hug Me I'm Scared the TV show. You remember that web series from like 5 years ago? Well it got a show and it's just as dark and funny as before.

Video Gaming. I usually play the same games over and over so this year I made it my goal to only play new games to me. I did a pretty good job but didn't have as much time to play things as previous years, but here are my top 4: Yu-Gi-Oh. Guys, it's time to come clean. I'm an addict. This year I sunk so much time into yu-gi-oh. The physical game sure, but also Master Duel. This isn't my game of the year but I can't express the games I played this year without talking about my biggest time-sink... Chrono Trigger. It was my first time going through it and man I just love RPGs so much. It's perfect what do you want me to say? You either already know or haven't played it yet. Go play it. It's blows my mind what they were able to do on the SNES because some things in this game are better done here than in games TODAY. HOW!? Kirby and the Forgotten Land is just cute. It's Kirby. It's easy, simple, but sometimes a relaxing game is just as good as a hard as nails one. I just like vibing with Kirb and this is probably his best game in years. Pokemon Arceus was a crazy surprise. I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did. Scarlet and Violet just came out and they're good but not as good as Arceus, which is weird, cause Arceus feels like a tech demo for Scarlet and Violet. Either way, this was a great time and throwing balls at monsters never felt as fun as it did here.

And that's my rant for things. Reading? I don't read enough tbh and I want to try to read more this year. I read One Piece like come on. Either way I'll disappear back into the void now and continue to make AND enjoy as much content as I can! Happy New Year!!

#my opinion #year recap #year review #movies #shows #video games #rant #blog post #year end post #happy new year #end of 2022 #2023 goals #tumblr blog #artists on tumblr #content #content catalogue

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lunabonita · 3 years

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My Webtoon Recommendations

These are webtoons that are all 10/10 for me. Of course it doesn’t have to be a 10/10 for you, so just a reminder, do not attack me for liking a webtoon that you do not. These are my opinions and we are not going to have the exact same taste. Please be respectful.

Your Throne

Genre: Fantasy

Chapters: 75

Status: Ongoing

“Tensions are brewing under the seemingly calm surface of the Vasilios Empire, a kingdom ruled by the Imperial Family and the Temple. Lady Medea Solon has lost her place next to Crown Prince Eros, but resolves to win back whats rightfully hers. Will she reclaim her throne?”

You know whats amazing about this webtoon? The summary leads you to think that what shes winning back is the prince. Wrong. Shes trying to win back the throne. I love how this webtoon doesn’t try to make it a girl focusing her goals on a man, but on power. Medea is such a strong and well written character that you can’t help but love her.

The second protagonist Pschye, who of which is the person who took Medeas place as Crown Princess, is the complete opposite of Medea. At the beginning you hate her, but as the webtoon goes on and Medea and her get a better understanding of eachother due to them switching bodies as a wish from God, you begin to root for them as they team up to take over the throne from the Crown Prince.

The art is so beautiful and I constantly found myself at awe from the amount of detail put into it.

The Makeup Remover

Genre: Romace

Chapters: 78

Status: Ongoing

“After years of being told to focus on studying, Yeseul feels lost when she starts college and is suddenly expected to pay attention to makeup. When a chance encounter with brilliant makeup artist Yuseong leads to her taking part in a televised makeup competition, Yeseul begins to question the role that makeup and appearance play in society.”

This was created by one of my favorite webtoon creators Lee Yone. Their art is just so amazing and their stories always include such good topics.

For instance, The Makeup Remover’s theme is loving yourself for who you are. It shows how people treat you based on your looks and as someone whos struggled with that kind of thing for a while, this webtoon really touched me. The main character Yeseul is such a relatable character, even when trying to reject beauty standards, she still came subject to the pressures of living up to the people around her. She struggles with trying to love her own appearance and I really like that this webtoon didn’t try to be like, ‘fuck the beauty standard im better than that screw pretty people!!!’ it actually showed realistically how people struggle with self-image. I also love the main love interest because oh my god, we need more men like him please. He doesn’t care about Yeseul’s appearance and genuinely loves her for her personality.

Also, art is amazing. The author is so talented and you should support them by reading and liking the chapters.

Surviving Romance

Genre: Horror

Chapters: 14

Status: Ongoing

“When Chaerin Eun becomes the protagonist of the romance novel she is reading, she expects a fairytale ending with the novel’s love interest, Jeha. But when a bizarre twist makes her realize the story is not playing out as it does in the book, she’ll need the help of an unlikely character from her class to defy the new storyline and find her happy ending - if only she can figure out who this ‘Unknown Extra’ is first!”

Hands down one of my favorite webtoons by a long shot. You ever see a webtoon and think, ‘oh yeah, thats going to be a good webtoon’? Thats how this webtoon was for me. It was so good that I spent hours searching for other chapters that hadn’t been uploaded to webtoon yet on other manhua websites. I discovered it because it was also by the author of ‘The Makeup Remover’.

If there is one thing you need to know about me, its that I am a huge horror fan. So when I saw that my favorite author on webtoon had a horror themed webtoon out? You bet your behind that I binged it. Let me tell you, best choice ever.

Think of it as if ‘Ino’s Law’ and ‘Quarantine’ were combined with amazing art and a badass MC.

The Remarried Empress

I love how it is set up to the point where she cannot ‘quit’ until she completes the novel. Creating scenarios where she must survive while meeting the standards in the book. It is such an amazingly written webtoon and I cannot wait for more chapters to be released.

Genre: Fantasy

Chapters: 82

Status: Ongoing

“Navier Ellie Trovi was an empress perfect in every way - intelligent, courageous, and socially adept. She was kind to her subjects and devoted to her husband. Navier was perfectly content to live the rest of her days as the wise empress of the Eastern Empire. That is, until her husband brought hone a mistress and demanded a divorce. ‘I accept this divorce… And i request an approval of my remarriage.’ In a shoking twist Navier remaarries another emperor and retains her title and childhood dream as empress. But just how did everything unfold? “

Am I in love with Navier? Yes.

I absolutely adore how this story was set up. The first chapter begins with the big divorce scene, followed by Navier saying that she was going to be remarrying someone else since he wants to divorce her. This sets up a picture that gets completely shattered as you read the chapters. How everything falls into place with the reason behind the divorce and the remarriage is just so well written. The art is so good and and everything is just so insanely well done.

I absolutely love Naviers character, from her regalness and devoted loyalty to her role as empress, all the way to her petty moments and times of sadness. She is truly a character that you want the best for, and I cannot image anyone not liking her. Also the story is just so capable of making you feel emotions. I’ve laughed, cried, and got angry during the course of reading this webtoon. I love how betrayed I felt when the emperor brought home his mistress. It felt like I was in Navier’s shoes!

This is such a well done webtoon and I'm so excited for Navier to get all of the good things she deserves in her new Kingdom and with her new husband.

Witch Creek Road

Genre: Horror

Chapters: 74

Status: Ongoing

“A survival horror about love, acceptance, death, and revenge. And sexy flesh-eating demons. Yeah, it has those, too.”

This series seriously mind fucked me. The way that this story is set up, you don’t see the full picture until the later chapters. Season two literally blew my mind. It is also very gorey so keep that in mind if you don’t like that kind of stuff, but for me that makes it all the better. It is just so wild and crass that you can feel your heart pumping in anticipation.

They even have their own website that goes further into the lore because it’s just so wild. Also the art style is just so amazing, because it complements the story and horror theme so much. You hate most of the characters because they suck, and it is so satisfying when they are killed. Also it has it’s sad moments but I think it is a nice break from the horror so it isn’t so overwhelmingly scary.

I binged this series and I recommend reading only a few chapters a day so you don’t overload your brain.

Other then that, an amazing webtoon. Seriously, go read it, support the author, so much work goes into the story and art that it’s insane.

Dating With A Tail

Genre: Romance

Chapters: 36

Status: Ongoing

“On the dawn of her 29th birthday, unlucky-in-love Yunha discovers a shocking family secret: she’s started growing a fox tail, the mark of an ancestral curse. She must find her fated love before her 30th birthday or she is destined to become a fox forever! Even with her new-found enchanting power to attract men using her scent, will one year be enough to break the curse before it’s too late?”

Oh my gosh this is just such a good webtoon. It has amazing art, story telling, and characters. The true love interest was there the whole time, the villain isn’t who you’d expect it to be, and the spirit who cursed her is just! Im not going to spoil it but go read this webtoon!! It is so good and deserves more love.

Also Yunha is just so relatable?? Like she put off finding the woodcutter (her fated love) for 29 years and waited last minute to find him. Homegirl is me trying to do a project for school. Also to get rid of the scent that makes men attracted to her, she just starts eating a ton of garlic and that is just so funny to me.

Also I would go to church for the priest anytime if you know what i mean ;)

Omniscient Reader

Genre: Action

Chapters: 53

Status: Ongoing

“Dokja was an average office worker whose sole interest was reading his favorite web novel ‘Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse.’ But when the novel suddenly becomes reality, he is the only person who knows how the world will end. Armed with this realization, Dokja uses his understanding to change the course of the story, and the world, as he knows it.”

I cannot get over how high quality this story is. The world building is phenomenal, the art is fantastic, and the characters are very fleshed out. This deserved all the hype it has gotten so far and more.

I love the ‘mc thrown into a different reality’ trope so much. Just like with surviving romance, Dokja’s world became the story he was reading. Also a very cool aspect of the story is the level up and the fact that its like a game. Earth has turned into this show for god like creatures to watch and it follows Dokja trying to survive. I also really like that TWSA has a protagonist, but Omniscient Reader’s protagonist is not the protagonist that was in TWSA. There is just so much lore and I’ll say it again, the world building is just phenomenal.

The Ddokkaebi’s and Dokja’s interactions are also just some of my favorite moments from the story so far. And oh my goodness I would die for Lee Gilyoung. Thats it, thats the tweet. That little boy could probably kill me with his giant praying mantis and I would let him if it would make him happy.

Not So Shoujo Love Story

Genre: Comedy

Chapters: 45

Status: Ongoing

“Romance super-fan Rei Chan is ready for her first boyfriend and she knows just who it’ll be: the most handsome boy in school, Hansum Ochinchin. But her plans for the perfect story are derailed when the most popular girl in class declares herself a rival… for Rei’s heart?! This is the year her not so shoujo love story begins!”

This is just such a cute webtoon. The style is very appealing and while the humor can be childish and weird sometimes, it still has made me laugh a lot. I know the humors not for everyone but just keep in mind that it does get better as the story progresses and gets more serious.

Also its a gl! I’m really unable to find good gls these days that don’t fetishize wlw relationships. Rei being painted as a mean trouble maker whos just misunderstood and Hana being the ‘perfect girl’ who only wants Rei’s attention is such a cute dynamic. They balance each other out and better each other. Also stan Rei for constantly sticking up for Hana even if she doesn’t necessarily like her in the beginning, she has very good morals and sticks to them.

Also the defying stereotypes in this webtoon? Just god-tier. Really makes you think twice when you judge someone just on first impressions alone.

Odd Girl Out

Genre: Drama

Chapters: 264

Status: Ongoing

“After a successful winter break makeover, Nari is finally ready for her high school debut. But somehow, she ends up friends with the three prettiest girls in school! Follow Nari as she tries to navigate her brand new high school life surrounded by beauties.”

This story has made me cry multiple times. A lot, even. It is just such a beautiful tale of friendship and finding support in people who are unlike those around theme. It also tells a great story about how anybody can be the ‘odd girl out’. Be it the fat girl, the beautiful girl, the rich girl, or the laid back girl.

It goes so deep into its characters that you even feel bad for the minor antagonists. It really makes you feel for the characters and the reasons behind their actions. Also I know its long, believe me I binged all 260 chapters in the span of three days, but oh my god it is worth it. Also I know the art is kind of off-putting, in fact that’s kind of why I put off reading the story, but I’ve honestly grown to love it and the writing is so good that the art could be literal stick figures and it wouldn’t matter.

The story is amazing and also I just love Nari. She’s just the best.

Gremoryland

Genre: Horror

Chapters: 67

Status: Completed

“Six old school friends are invited to be the first visitors of GremoryLand, a new horror theme park that promises an experience as unique as it is spooky. But once this experience starts there is no turning back, and they find themselves tested beyond what they imagines, facing their most desperate fears in order to survive.”

This is definitely one of those stories were you kind of need to turn of your brain and choose to ignore ‘plot holes’ while reading the early chapters because this story definitely gets crazy if you don’t know the ending. Believe me if you stick with it it will all make sense and the satisfaction you get from finding the ending is just so worth it.

The story is so good, and who Gremory is you would literally never suspect. When it was revealed who Gremory was and how he was able to create Gremoryland is so fucking mind boggling that you would never guess. I had to do a double take. It wasn’t like one of those random characters with a vendetta type of twists, but like one you can pick out from clues throughout the story.

Its so good and twisted and just so worth at least giving it a chance.

These were some of my favorite webtoons on the app! Of course it’s not all of them because unfortunately there is a 10 image limit. I also made this because I’ve run out of new webtoons to read and would love if you guys commented some of your own recs. I can also do a part two with other ones I liked if y’all want more recommendations. You guys can even request specific categories like Drama or Sci-Fi and I can tell you my favorite ones from that genre.

Also a reminder - if you disagree with any of my praise of these webtoons be respectful about it. At the end of the day it’s my opinion and you don’t need to be rude when disagreeing with that opinion.

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nextonmy-tbr · 2 years

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Book Review: Illuminae (The Illuminae Files 01)

Author: Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

Genre: Science Fiction

It is year 2575, a mega corporation has invaded a planet called Kerenza. With fire raining down on its citizens, they are trying to evacuate on a fleet. But their problems just don't end here. There is a plague broken on one of the ships from the fleet and it is mutating fast, the fleet’s AI may not be actually helping them as they thought. But our main heroine (who doesn’t trust the authorities on the fleet) hacks into the web of data to find out the truth. There is one person who can help her - her ex-boyfriend (with whom she broke up just before her planet got invaded). You want to know what happens further to these people on the fleet and whether they are able to save people’s lives? Read the book to find out…

My thoughts: -

To express how much I loved this book is impossible. It is just WOW!! The book is a collection of reports, files, interviews, camera footages, emails, maps, etc. This book is so unique and pretty that I would recommend anyone to read this book. Illuminae is the first book from The Illuminae Files series and let me tell you that it will not disappoint. If you are not a science - fiction fan, then I cannot vouch for you. I am a total fan of the art in this book. It is just damn amazing.

Plot: -

“The universe owes you nothing...It has already given you everything, after all. It was here long before you, and it will go on long after you. The only way it will remember you is if you do something worthy of remembrance.”

The plot of this book is fascinating. It goes from Kady and Ezra reciting the planet invasion to the interviewers in the most comical and sarcastic way possible to Kady being our superwomen, who is the only person that can save the lives of the people. This book has themes like ex-lovers reconnecting again, teenagers distrusting the authorities, teenagers trying to take charge, disease outbreak (talk about relatable :p), the AI being a mass murderer. So yeah there is a lot happening in this book. There are visual and detailed descriptions of the fleet, and scientific terms used which can get difficult but once you come around it, it will be an adventure. If not the plot then the pretty cover is sure to attract you to buy the book. The major highlight of this book are the characters.

Characters: -

“I am frequently underestimated. I think it's because I'm short.”

Kady is the whole soul of this book. She is the absolute best main character for me. I think I have seen some criticism of Kady being an absolute genius and it is understandable to not like a character that has no flaws and seems too perfect. But I loved her, I mean how many books do we have with female characters being absolute badasses. So I enjoyed it to the fullest. She is head-strong, determined, skilled at computers, knows what she wants and gets it done. Her relationship with Ezra is the best and I loved every part of it. Even her friendship with Byron was interesting. I never knew I would love her and AIDAN’s interaction so much. They both were amazing.

“You picked a hell of a day to dump me, Kades.”

Let’s just say one thing loud and clear EZRA MASON NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS and well Kady is doing a very good job for that. Dare I say he was one of the best characters from this book. He is funny and a bit broken, hell of a romantic and one of the best friends to have. I really wish we were given more Ezra content. His email and texts to Kady were so adorable. But before that I think I started loving him from the start of the book itself. Well we did get the best of him in that interview. It would have been so amazing to see Ezra and AIDAN interaction, let’s hope we will get that in further books from the series.

“I find it curious that human beings draw some measure of comfort from the invocation of deific nomenclature in times of stress.”

My emotions for AIDAN are so confusing right now I don’t know what to think of him. At first I thought okay so we have an AI here who we are taking orders from, this feels like the future. Then at one point I thought God he is crazy. But now by the end of the book we saw him showing some complicated emotions and throwing some pretty funny dialogues here and there, so he kind of grew on me and I am confused. But let’s just say I pretty much like him now. You know what the best part is? I didn’t expect to like a freaking AI so much. So I guess you have pretty much figured out that I liked each and every character here.

To round this up, for all the sci-fi fans out there and anyone who likes drama, action, space, pretty illustrations, amazing characters, badass female characters, lover boy male characters and adorable AI then do make sure to check this book out. Let me know what are your thoughts on this book. You can also recommend some books to read or to write reviews on.

#booklr #book review #illuminae #the illuminae files #kady grant #ezra mason #aidan #amie kaufman #jay kristoff #science fiction

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celestialmazer · 3 years

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Julie Mehretu, Untitled 2, 1999. Private collection. Courtesy of White Cube. © Julie Mehretu

Julie Mehretu, Hineni (E. 3:4), 2018. Centre Pompidou, Paris, Musée national d’art moderne/Centre de création industrielle; gift of George Economou, 2019. © Julie Mehretu. Photography:Tom Powel Imaging

Julie Mehretu, Mind-Wind Field Drawings (quarantine studio, d.h.) #1, 2019-2020. Private collection, courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery New York/Paris. © Julie Mehretu. Photography courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery

Julie Mehretu, Mogamma (A Painting in Four Parts) Part 1, 2012. Guggenheim Abu Dhabi. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: White Cube, Ben Westoby

Julie Mehretu, Conjured Parts (eye), Ferguson, 2016. The Broad Art Foundation, Los Angeles. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Cathy Carver

Julie Mehretu, Migration Direction Map (large), 1996. Private collection. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Tom Powel Imaging

At home with artist Julie Mehretu

CAMILLE OKHIO - 25 MAR 2021

Julie Mehretu speaks with the joy and conviction of someone who has had the freedom to investigate all their interests. Curiosity has led her to the myriad topics, objects and moments that inform her work, among them cartography, archaeology, the birth of civilisation and mycology. Since the 1990s, her practice has expanded outwardly in all directions like a spider web. A lack of understanding and preconceived notions among reviewers have often led to her work being flattened – simplified so that it is easily digestible – but in reality, her work is far from a simplistic investigation of any one topic. It encompasses multitudes.

The artist’s recent paintings are mostly large scale, but her early works on paper (often created with multiple layers – one sheet of Mylar on top of another) are as small as a six-inch square. The works often comprise innumerable minuscule markings – tremendous force and knowledge communicated through delicate inkings and streaks. Their layers reveal, rather than obfuscate. And though Mehretu’s creative process springs from a desire to understand herself better, the work itself is in no way autobiographical.

Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, on the tails of a continental rejection of colonialism, and raised there, then in Michigan, Mehretu has a flexible and full-hearted understanding of home. It is not one physical place, but many, all holding equal importance. On 25 March, Mehretu will present her first major retrospective at the Whitney Museum of American Art, with works spanning 1996 to 2019. The institution is an important one for Mehretu, as it played host to several pivotal shows in her youth.

Her exhibition has served as an impetus for Mehretu to look back at her already prolific career, observing and organising the thoughts, questions and answers she has put forth for over two decades. The six years it took to bring this exhibition together proved an incredibly valuable time of reflection, fatefully dovetailing with a year of quarantine.

Wallpaper*: Where are you as we speak?

Julie Mehretu: I’m in my studio on 26th Street, right on the West Side Highway. I’ve worked here for 11 years.

W*: Are there any artists, writers or thinkers that have had a meaningful impact on you?

JM: I don’t know how to answer that because there are literally so many! It’s constantly changing. Right now, Kara Walker, David Hammons, William Pope.L, and younger artists like Jason Moran (who has made amazing work around abstraction). There are so many artists that have been informative and important to me: Frank Bowling, Jack Whitten, Caravaggio.

I also look at a lot of prehistoric work, from as far back as 60,000 years ago, as well as cave paintings from 6th century China and early prehistoric drawings in the caves of Australia.

W*: What’s the most interesting thing you have read, watched or listened to recently?

JM: For the last few weeks I’ve been immersed in Steve McQueen films. I’ve been bingeing on lovers rock music. And a TV show that really moved me was [Michaela Cole’s] I May Destroy You. It’s difficult, but it was really well done and powerful.

Ocean Vuong’s novel On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous is amazing. The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing is a really incredible book too – she studies this mushroom that became a delicacy in Japan in the 7th century. It started growing in deforested areas – it’s in these places destroyed by human beings that these mushrooms survive. [I find it interesting] that this mushroom grows on the edge of precarity and destruction. Like with Black folks, there is a constant aspect of insisting on yourself and reinventing yourself in the midst of constant effort of destruction.

W*: What was the first piece of art you remember seeing? How did you feel about it?

JM: One of the first times I remember being moved by a work of art was looking through my mother’s Rembrandt book. We brought so few things back from Ethiopia and that was one of them. [Particularly] Rembrandt’s The Sacrifice of Isaac. That story is so intense. I was so moved by the light and the skin and the way the paint made light and skin.

W*: Do you travel? If so, what does travel afford you, and what have you missed about it during Covid-19?

JM: I travel a lot, but I haven’t travelled this year. There has been this amazing sense of suspension and a pause in that. I miss travelling, but going to look at art, watching films, reading novels and listening to music is the way I travel now. For instance, I’ve been listening to Afro-Peruvian music and now I want to go to Peru.

Before I know it we will be back in this fast-paced, zooming-around environment – there is something I want to savour by staying here, now, in this time and absorbing as much as I can.

W*: You are said to have a vast collection of objects and images. Walk me through your collection – what areas, materials, makers and things have the largest presence and why?

JM: When you enter our home there is this long hallway. Framed along the wall we have around 20 fluorescent Daniel Joseph Martinez block-printed posters he made with words – almost poems. Our kids grew up reading those. One says ‘Sometimes I can’t breathe’ and another one says ‘Don’t work’, while some are really long.

We also have a great Paul Pfeiffer photograph of one from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse series. We have a group of Richard Tuttle etchings right over our dining table. We have an amazing David Hammons body print as well, and my kids’ work is all over the house.

W*: As the daughter of immigrants and an immigrant yourself – how do you conceptualise home and how do you create it?

JM: There were a lot of times I felt very transient – as a student and a young adult, going in and out of school and residency programmes. It always came back to music and food. There are certain flavours, foods, music, smells that you take wherever you go. Also as a mother, I’m building a home for my children. Home becomes something else because of them. They are the core of home now.

W* How has motherhood affected your practice?

JM: I became much more productive when I had kids for several reasons – one is that I felt a lot of pressure to make [work] in the time I wasn’t with them, which of course is unsustainable. A large part of making is not making – thinking and searching.

When I got to work I could get into it much more quickly. Kids grow and change so fast, you feel time is passing so you need to use it. I wasn’t going to stop working, that’s for sure. All women who are pushing in their lives make that choice.

W*: What is your favourite myth and why does it hold importance for you?

JM: Right now I’m reading Greek myths to my ten-year-old. We’ve read them before, but he wanted to read them again. I still read to him at night even though he’s a voracious reader himself.

The myths I remember the most are myths I’ve come across in visual works. Titian’s Diana and Actaeon – I know that myth so well because of his painting. Bernini’s mesmerising sculpture of Apollo and Daphne I saw in Rome, where her body becomes a tree. The leaves are so delicately carved into the marble, it’s a work of incredible beauty. I’ve been considering this deconstructionist approach to mythology. Storytelling becomes this place to interrogate propositions, which is what I think mythology does.

W*: Have you experienced a flattening of your work?

JM: I’m always concerned with flattening and pigeonholing. That is something that happens to artists like us all the time. When I first was working and showing there was a bit of that happening with my work. It was put into the space of cartography or an architectural analysis of it. It was said to be autobiographical work.

The art world tries to consume. There is this desire to flatten and the desire for Black artists to be a reflection of their experience. I don’t think any artist is like that at all. In reality, none of us are flat. We all contain multitudes and are complicated – that has always been the core of the Black radical tradition.

#julie mehretu #art #abstract art #abstract #mark making #history #geography #nature

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cherry-valentine · 3 years

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Summer 2021 Anime Season

What I’m Watching:

Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid is one of the cutest, sweetest series I’ve seen in a while. The plot sounds rather dark, following a young duke who has been cursed by a witch so that anything he touches, from plants to animals to people, will die. Touching through clothes has the same effect. This naturally isolates him, to the point that his own family have shunned him and he’s forced to live in a separate home out in the woods, with only two servants who are kind (or crazy) enough to stay with him despite the danger. One is an elderly butler who takes on a fatherly role, and the other is the beautiful, busty maid named Alice. And this is where a show that could have gone really dark brightens up to an adorable romantic comedy. Alice is not the least bit afraid of the duke’s curse, and her teasing, cheerful disposition practically forces him to open up. Speaking of Alice, I really enjoy the way her character is handled. Just as the show could have gone dark, it also could have gone sexist and gross. Alice is very busty, as I mentioned, and the show does have some fanservice, but the WAY this fanservice is done makes all the difference. Alice is a flirty character who always seems to be an enthusiastic participant in whatever fanservice we see, rather than being an object to be leered at. She’s very much in control of her body and her sexuality, which I appreciated. Also, there’s a lot of restraint on display here. There are so many ways they could have ruined this by going too far, but they didn’t. The fanservice is restricted to some cleavage shots and Alice occasionally flipping up her own dress to display her stockings. It comes across more as “sexy fun times” than “male gaze oggling a woman”. Because Alice is an interesting and well-written character in her own right. On the surface, she’s unflappable, facing a dire situation with limitless patience and optimism. But we get a few small, brief glimpses of the emotional toll it all takes on her, which is refreshing. The duke himself is a fun character, forever flustered by Alice’s antics but clearly not wanting her to stop. There are some amusing side characters as well. The animation has been criticized quite a bit, as it’s CG. It’s not the best looking CG animation I’ve seen, but it’s far from the worst. For a simple, cute show like this, it’s fine. Recommended if you like romantic comedies with a somewhat dark setup.

Vanitas no Carte is based on a manga by the woman who did Pandora Hearts, so you have some basic idea of what you’re getting into: extravagant period costumes, gothic European scenery, dark and violent themes mixed with goofy humor, and a very complicated web of character relationships. This series features a vampire society that’s being plagued by “curses” which turn the vampires into mindless beasts that can only be saved by mercy killing them. That is, until a human named Vanitas shows up with the power to cure the “curse bearers” using a legendary book that most vampires doubted the existence of. He teams up with Noe, a kind and naive yet physically very strong vampire who has been tasked with finding said book and determining whether its power is real. The result is a bizarre buddy comedy with touches of gruesome violence and gorgeous art. Of the two protagonists, Noe is my favorite. He’s sweet and good-natured, naive but not stupid. He has a disturbing back story (as most of the characters do) but he can still look at the world with excitement and wonder. He also has a hilarious and adorable cat named Murr. Vanitas, on the other hand, is an insufferable asshole. And I don’t mean in the fun way. I mean he literally makes the show hard to watch when he’s onscreen. I normally like the smug bastard types in anime, but Vanitas really pushes the limits of my tolerance. In an early episode he forces a very deep, very long kiss on a woman he has rendered immobile and unable to defend herself, groping her all the while. I found the scene very troubling, and was even more troubled when I read the comments on the episode, almost all of which calling the kiss “sexy” or “hot” or, worst of all, “romantic”. It’s extremely obvious that the woman did not want or enjoy the kiss, but aw, she was all blushy and embarrassed afterward, so it was a cute scene, right? Ugh, no, gross. The woman, named Jeanne, was established as a very powerful, badass vampire. Yet she’s quickly reduced to a red-faced, crying mess by this absolute garbage character sexually assaulting her in front of several other characters. The whole scene was so bothersome I almost dropped the series entirely, because Vanitas never faces any consequences for this act. He just grins smugly after it’s over. However, I kept watching because, aside from Vanitas, the show is amazing. The art and animation are breathtaking. The plot is highly interesting. The characters, Vanitas excluded, are compelling. And then we have Noe, who is pretty much the opposite of Vanitas. Honestly, if Vanitas was the only protagonist, I would have dropped it, but he’s one of two. So... recommended, but with caution. Your mileage may vary on how much Vanitas you can stomach.

Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi is.,. not something I expected to enjoy. It has a visual style that reminds me of Kill la Kill, a show I absolutely loathed. The overall vibe of the show is a little off-putting for me, but somehow I got myself hooked on it. The basic set up is that, hundreds of years ago, giant monstrous demons roamed the earth. All the gods of the earth got together, defeated the demons, and sealed them away, leaving one young god named Rin behind to watch over the seal and train newly born gods to fight, should the seal ever be broken. Flash forward to the present day, where Rin has only been able to train a very small number of gods because most of them can’t handle Rin’s absolutely brutal training (it mostly consists of her murdering them over and over and letting them regenerate, as they’re essentially immortal). Unfortunately, some demons have come back, and they’ve taken the appearance of humans. This revelation motivates some of the younger gods to resume their training with Rin. And that’s about all I can say for the plot without getting into some bizarre subplots. There’s a lot I don’t like about the show. I’m not crazy about its cartoony look given the subject matter. I don’t like that there’s basically a whole subplot that revolves around human women being repeatedly raped (side note: rape is never graphically shown, though it is made extremely clear what is happening and we see the lead up to it, also this is a rather small subplot that gets little attention after the first episode). And I absolutely hate that a character involved in this subplot, who encourages it, is presented as a character we should actually like. But! There are some things I really enjoy about it as well. I think the setup is really cool. The gods, and their role in the world of the story, are super interesting. They’re practically indifferent to humans, not even taking the slightest bit of interest when one country invades another and slaughters innocent civilians, because to them, it’s like a human intervening when one animal fights and kills another in the woods. So long as humans aren’t completely wiped out, they don’t get involved. Which is a neat concept. I also like the battles, which are frenetic and a blast to watch. And I totally love Rin, who is just a straight up badass in every single way. She’s one of those ridiculously overpowered characters we sometimes get in anime, most of which are usually male. Rin is so absurdly powerful that other absurdly powerful characters are terrified of her to the point that the mere mention of her name triggers panic attacks. Watching her fight is pure joy. Also the music is great, with an absolute banger of an opening theme. Recommended if you like wild, imaginative action anime and aren’t triggered by rape.

Carry Over Shows From Previous Seasons:

To Your Eternity Boku no Hero Academia Shaman King

Best of Season:

Best New Show: Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid

Best Opening Theme: Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi

Best Ending Theme: Vanitas no Carte

Best New Male Character: Noe (Vanitas no Carte)

Best New Female Character: Alice (Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid)

#Anime #Anime Reviews #Anime Recommendations #Summer 2021 Anime #Seasonal Anime #Text #tw: rape #Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid #The Duke of Death and his Maid #Heion Sedai no Idaten-tachi #Not tagging Vanitas because I talked shit about the character lol #This is the smallest number of shows I've followed in a long time #Maybe I'm getting more picky

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pensivetense · 4 years

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A List Of (Mostly TMA) Fic Recs Sorted By Vibe

Not an exhaustive list by any means, just a few favourites that caught my fancy. I shortened many of the summaries for space.

I’m going to pin this here and update it as I go.

Also, I’m pensivetense on ao3

MELANCHOLY VIBES

for when you want to feel comfortably muted

(sad but not utterly bleak endings here)

Hope, Etc. (Dickenson, et al.) by yellow_caballero

Jonathan Sims, six months after the Unknowing, wakes to find himself without a daemon - without humanity, without a soul. It’s a cursed half-life, but existence as a shell without a heart isn’t so bad: between solving the mystery of a persistent illusion cast over his friends and some light pseudo-cannibalism, a life as a monster is better than no life at all. At least, it would be, if it wasn’t for the fucking Owl.

A freaking. Amazing. Daemon au. Ties the lore of Dust with TMA lore very satisfyingly, but is mostly about Jon navigating what it means to be human, or, in the absence of that, a person, and doesn’t require prior knowledge of His Dark Materials. Cannot recommend highly enough.

after one long season of waiting by nuinuijiaojiao

Annabelle is not used to having nice things. or, Annabelle heads to Upton House, muses a little, and gets some well-deserved rest

I love survivalist Annabelle and also the concept of the Web as kind of a horrible Patron, actually.

i love you. I want us both to eat well. by SmallishWormMasterOfTheUniverse

At the safehouse with Martin, Jon decides it's time to quit statements once and for all. The Eye disagrees. Martin just needs Jon to be okay. It's quite possible that nobody is going to get what they want.

Scottish Safehouse Era, Jon and Martin coping with their respective Entities... really, really good.

the friend by doomcountry

He always greets a new spider when he meets it. It’s instinct, born in childhood, the same way he instinctively counts magpies, or flicks salt over his left shoulder. A little harmless superstition. A bit of politesse.

A great Martin character study with eldritch spider horror included. The imagery regularly haunts me (in a good way).

autumn’s rare gift by bee_bro

Annually, the two meet, renewing the binding ritual where it had all started. The procedure simple: a waltz.

Singlehandedly made me ship Gertrude/Agnes so there’s that. It’s so bittersweet and bee_bro’s writing is, as always, incredibly poetic. (I’d recommend everything they write, actually.)

smile, you’re trending by Goodluckdetective

During an encounter with another Avatar of the Eye, Jon faces his past, Martin takes a turn at playing Kill Bill and Basira has a second look at the monster she’s determined to see. For three people associated with the Eye, they could all use some perspective.

Features an original Eye Avatar character who’s a YouTube personality; she is infuriating and inspired and genuinely frightening and I cannot say enough good things.

Humility by The_Lionheart

have you no idea that you're in deep?/i've dreamt about you nearly every night this week,/how many secrets can you keep?

An OC centric story but don’t let that put you off, it’s amazing. Very heavily focused around Jonah Magnus and the other Avatars as they change through the years. Also, I’d die for the OC.

oh, for one sweet second without the eye series by faedemon

Beholding does not like in the way humans do, but it likes its Archivist all the same.

I’m just so fond of the way this is done stylistically. I have a great weakness for dialogue only/dialogue heavy writing, not to mention all of the wonderful character beats and interplay of humanity/inhumanity for Jon and Melanie.

Rewind by WhyNotFly

It takes eight days of forced confinement for Jon to start hallucinating. [...] It’s Martin, though, that his exhausted brain conjures, because of course it’s Martin. After all this time, of course it’s Martin.

Jon willingly allows himself to be confined rather than hunting for statements, and examines his relationship with Martin.

for a firmament series by supaslim

There is beauty in destruction. There is art in becoming. In which Jon becomes the Archive, and the Archive becomes Jon.

Part two posted this morning and uhhh. Good. Also if you’re here for weird eldritch body horror (I am), this one’s for you.

ONES THAT JUST HURT

for when you want to feel sad

(somewhat bleaker endings here/everyone is NOT okay)

Feste by yellow_caballero

If asked, Martin would say that he became the shadow director of the Magnus Institute by accident. But nobody ever asked, and nobody ever cared, and it was in this way that Martin stopped lying to himself. Or: break free, Martin. All you have to lose are your chains. And your sanity.

Oh, this one totally didn’t go the way I expected it to. A study in isolation. Could go into the category above, as the ending is not bleak, but the tone of the whole is somewhat more depressing than most there.

Ghosts of Love by RavenXavier

Nothing made Martin more grounded in the world than yearning for Jonathan Sims.

Lonely!Martin that really captures a sort of visceral ache. Hurts me and yet I keep rereading.

i do desire (we may be better strangers) by godbewithyouihavedone

For ages, it only knew how to worship, taking human bodies and living off the fear of those who remembered. It never knew love until it became Jonathan Sims. Now it must fight against every instinct to save Martin Blackwood. Archivist Sasha, Not!Jon/Martin, and the worst kind of Fake Dating AU.

Oh, this one just made me sad. The poor not!them, which is something I never thought I’d say.

Apple Of Your Eye by fakeCRfan

In which the Eye is fond of Martin. Perhaps a little too fond for comfort.

Somehow manages to be both sweet and horrifying—the characterisation of the Eye is incredible. ‘The Eye loves Martin’ is a scenario that’s so utterly doomed to failure and yet the writing is packed with so much pathos that I just want them all to be happy. A fantastic use of themes of agency and choice, and the single best use of Beholding as a source of horror I’ve read.

The Last Press by copperbadge

Jon Sims is awake, and has begun preparations for the Rite of the Watcher's Crown. Peter Lukas, who woke him, would be content to rule at his side. Martin is very upset about all of this, and the Lukases aren't thrilled with it either.

I really can’t say anything without spoiling the end and it’s so good. An alternate take on the Watcher’s Crown. Not a pairing that I ever thought would work for me, but this made it work.

watch the blood evaporate by 75hearts

It starts, like so many things in Jon’s life have started, with a nagging itch of curiosity. Jonathan Sims uses his healing abilities throughout s4. Read the tags.

Dear God please read the tags. But this is some high quality pain if it’s for you.

the lighthouse series by low_fi

Peter Lukas is a lighthouse keeper. One evening, he gets a call from a cryptic overseer tasked with monitoring his work.

This is such a vivid and yet subtle story—from the setting to the emotions portrayed, it creeps up on you slowly. The ending was like the gentlest possible gut-punch. The sequel just completed, and yeah, just as wonderful. This one is very much LonelyEyes but I listed it here because it is just exquisitely painful.

SATISFYINGLY HOPEFUL VIBES

for when you want to feel cozy

Clutching Daffodils by Gemi

Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight. It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs. He always liked the idea of it. And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.

Somehow manages to be lighter and fluffier than most hanahaki fare, despite the setting. I’ve reread this one a lot.

the least he could do by Prim_the_Amazing

Martin should in fact not pick this man, specifically because of how attracted he is to him. It would be the responsible thing to do. Except he’s already following him. And he’s hungry.

Fluffy vampire au which everyone’s probably already read, but was too good not to mention.

rather interesting by bee_bro

Jonah Magnus realizes that, for some reason, when he comes in contact with weed, Elias Bouchard's consciousness will come into his life banging pots and pans.

Oh boy. So these are all favourite fics but this one is a favourite amongst favourites. The way Jonah is characterised (i.e. incredibly sensitive to scrutiny) is my favourite depiction of him, and the slow-burn between him and Elias is far sweeter than it has any right to be. Also, it’s hilarious.

The Magnus Records series by ErinsWorks

In a world parallel to that of the Archives and the Institute, a supernatural sanctuary stands against a cruel and uncaring world: A world of bureaucracy and tyranny, of murder and carnage, of loneliness and surveillence, of plague and death. But in this world of fear and misery, 14 entities born of the hopes of the world have emerged. And one of them has made their home here, at The Magnus Sanctuary. Perhaps, the employees within may lead happier lives than their counterparts did in the Archives.

This is just so goddamn pure. The author writes a really imaginative, fleshed-out alternate world and alternate Entities with engaging, well-written short statements. All of the character voices are absolutely on point, and it’s overall absurdly hopeful without ever feeling overly saccharine. I love this series so much, you guys, you don’t even know. I want to print it out and paste it on my wall. I love it.

HARD APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel dark and angsty (and eldritch)

Most of these are shorts/oneshots because it’s just that kind of genre, y’know?

Ashes to Ashes by marrowbones

A conversation at the end of the world.

Oliver Banks is one of those minor characters that I am overly attached to. Love him here.

Employee Benefits by equals_eleven_thirds

The Magnus Institute offered some normal employee benefits: a pension plan, holidays, travel subsidies, free lunch on the last Friday of each month. Rosie makes it work.

This manages to hit that perfect sweet spot of satisfying and hilarious. Rosie gets to torment Elias, as she well deserves.

a rose by any other name by Duck_Life

Part of Jon blooms in Jared Hopworth’s garden.

This one was sad and honestly too gentle to really belong in this category, but I love it.

Eye to Eye by Dribbledscribbles

In which Jonah Magnus attempts a post-apocalyptic pep talk.

Unreliable narrator at its finest, and the implications are suitably horrific.

commensalis by doomcountry

The tower is endlessly, impossibly tall, but Jon’s work is taller.

If you’re here for the eldritch imagery, then this has some of the best.

SOFT APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel gently triumphant

apocalypse how series by sunshine_states

Humanity adjusts. The Entities have Regrets.

Some nice vignettes set in a kinder apocalypse.

ceylon series by Sciosa

The one in which Jonathan Sims decides that no, actually, he isn't going to let the world just end.

I include this only for the sake on completeness, as everyone has no doubt already read it.

rituals by doomcountry

Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.

This one’s a little less focused on the world at large and more on JonMartin specifically.

we raise it up by savrenim

Jonathan Sims reads a book and saves the world; although maybe the real salvation is the friends he makes along the way; (although perhaps the world itself and the darkness that exists behind it isn't quite as out to get everyone as it seems).

More ‘soft revolution’ than ‘soft apocalypse’, but has the same vibe. A time travel fix-it. Incomplete but worth it if this is a mood that appeals to you.

Scarred Ground by DictionaryWrites

“You see," Elias said softly, "people always have this idea that only living things can be scarred - and they're right, of course. But a building is a living thing, Martin. And the ground can be scarred, too." "I don't have any scars," Martin said. "Yes, you do," Elias said. "You just need the right light to see them.”

Falls somewhere between ‘Apocalypse’ and ‘Soft Apocalyse’ but I’m putting it here because I feel like it. Also technically a LonelyEyes fic. I found it hard to follow at first but it’s worth sticking with; things will eventually begin to make sense and come together.

LONELYEYES

for when you want to feel lonelyeyes

marrying anguish with one last wish by procrastinatingbookworm

In which Elias isn't Orpheus, and Peter isn't Eurydice, but Elias brings Peter home anyway.

Lives in my head rent free forever. My favourite lonelyeyes fic.

ouroboros by Wildehack

“You know,” Jonah says, a muscle in his calf quivering agreeably where it’s slung over Mordechai’s shoulder, “it’s really quite--fortunate--that I don’t care for you at all.”

Oh, this one hurts in the best possible way. The endless cycle of their relationship, the way it comes full-circle... yeah, good. Actually, no, this one might be my favourite. It’s a tie.

Breaking all the Rules by Thedupshadove

Elias proposes a somewhat...unusual wager.

Soft lonelyeyes? In my recs? It’s more likely than you think. Short, sweet, and... sweet.

Threefold by Sprinkledeath

Peter Lukas breaks three rules.

I’m just a slut for mythology allusions I guess.

Luck Be A Lady Tonight by prodigy

In 2014, Elias Bouchard takes a rare trip outside of his comfort zone. Peter Lukas wastes a bunch of money. You'd be surprised how many things can go wrong for two beings of cosmic power.

I love the sense of the history of them you get while reading this.

love is just a word (the idea seems absurd) by kaneklutz

"Something's wrong. It's stopped hurting" An avatar of the Lonely and an avatar of the Beholding walk into a bar relationship. It was bound to blow up in their faces.

Short, sweet, painful. Excellent exploration of their priorities.

Victor by penguistifical

elias tries something with his powers that he hasn't attempted before

The one where Elias tries to raise the dead. Not incredibly LonelyEyes centric but that’s still the pairing.

Simon Says by penguistifical

“Peter asked me to drop by and have a word with you, and, so, here I am.” Simon chuckles at Elias’s disbelieving stare. “Well, he asked in his own way. He’s not a complicated man, you know. He either comes from your arms looking like a stroked cat that’s been given a dish of cream or looking like he’s been in that toy boat of his out in an unexpected storm. He was far angrier than normal, so I daresay you weren’t cream today.”

I mean personally I’d just go ahead and rec all of penguistifical’s LonelyEyes fics but this is a standout for me.

AROMANTIC AND ASPEC MOODS

for when you want to feel Seen

The Aro Archives series by WhyNotFly

These are all just really really good. From Aro!Peter to two different aro-spec versions of the Scottish Safehouse to a long and beautiful aro hanahaki fic, this series is uniformly wonderful. The two Scottish Safehouse ones (Torn Edges and Murky Water) are my comfort fics.

and now all fear gives way by j_quadrifons

Before he can think it through, he murmurs, "Is that what it feels like? Being in love?" Martin's hand stills in his hair and Jon's stomach drops.

This one just. Wow yeah this is how it be. Another absolute comfort fic of mine.

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

I’m going to be honest—I didn’t know where to put this one. But it ended up here because the real standout of this fic for me is the portrayal of Sasha, and especially her portrayal as an aro character. So I’m putting it here. Mind the content warnings with this one!

HUMOUR

for when you want to feel delight

The Torment of Sebastian Skinner by Urbenmyth

After the Eye's victory, the statement givers are trapped in their horror stories, living them over and over again. Naturally, this works out better for some then for others.

Premise? Delightful. Execution? Fantastic. I read this one to cheer myself up when I’m sad.

Unlucky by VolxdoSioda

Jon’s dice betray him

Short, sweet DnD au, and the reason I cannot get DM!Elias out of my head now.

Voracious by beetl

A bird hits the window. Jon experiences The Flesh's thrall.

“Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” but make it literal.

The Stupid Endings by Urbenmyth

There are a lot of very deeply thought out and creative AUs on this site. These aren't among them. These ones are how the story could have ended, if Jonny Sims was a dumbass.

These are just uniformly hilarious, I cannot recommend them highly enough.

PODCAST CROSSOVERS

for when you want to make one of those “if I had a nickel for every time...” posts

The Sabbatical by morelikeassassin

Nicholas Waters is in need of an all-knowing eldritch entity beyond the confines of human imagining to help with his latest ritual. He'll have to settle for Jonathan Sims, who happens to have nothing better to do.

Crossover with Archive 81 (s3, specifically). Both fun and bittersweet.

The City And Its Sorrows by cuttooth

“What makes you think your friend is in Eskew?” David asks. He feels he can risk the scrutiny of the city that far. “I read that this is a place people end up when they get lost,” says the man. “This is a place people end up,” David agrees./The Archivist comes to Eskew.

Contemplative piece, and I love the way it presents David’s relationship with Eskew, the way he finds it horrible and hates it and yet belongs to it, is almost proud in the way he shows to to Jon. Great little vignette of two people oppressed by eldritch powers, intersecting.

Hiatus by bibliocratic

My name is Jonathan Sims, and I am in Eskew. (Jon gets lost in a Spiral city. It is not as easy as escaping.)

This one is far more focused on Jon than David, and is honestly more Eskew-weird than Spiral-weird. In the best way. Told in Eskew episode style, and is very good.

Sweet Music by Shella688

Eskew has a music to it, if you know how to listen. The percussion beat of thousands of footsteps, the melody in the squealing of the trains overhead. Today, the music of Eskew comes in the form of nine musicians, playing outside my office. My name is David Ward, and I am in Eskew.

Not TMA, but since a lot of Mechs fans go here—this one’s a Mechs/Eskew crossover. Short and simple, mostly David Ward centric, just a little well-written one shot I had to mention because I enjoyed it but it doesn’t have much traffic. Nice portrayal of the Mechs from an outsider’s perspective, and how genuinely strange and frightening they’d come across (especially if you’re already being haunted by and eldritch city). If you like Eskew-style storytelling, check it out!

NOT TMA

...but good enough that I physically cannot make a recs list without including them. Here!

#tma #the magnus archives #fic recs #long post #i'm not kidding you guys it's long #so be warned before you click read more #pinned on my blog

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 3 years

Photo

* * * *

INTERVIEW: SAINT MISBEHAVIN’ WAVY GRAVY

by Richard Whittaker, Dec 21, 2010

One day I got a note from ServiceSpace founder, Nipun Mehta offering me tickets to a new documentary movie about Wavy Gravy. Would you like to go?

I went. Although I was aware of Wavy Gravy as a cultural icon, I really knew very little about him. The film is a eye-opener. Michelle Esrick’s loving documentary, Saint Misbehavin’ - 10 years in the making - is a real introduction to this remarkable man. I'd never heard about Hugh Romney, the man who later became famous as Wavy Gravy. And what a story. I'll mention just one of its surprises: earlier in his life, Hugh Romney was Lenny Bruce's manager.

A few weeks after seeing the film, at Mehta’s urging, I had the chance to interview Wavy Gravy himself.

Richard Whittaker: How are you feeling about Saint Misbehavin’?

Wavy Gravy: Oh, it’s a swell movie. I’m honored to be so well-documented, and the review in the New York Times was embarrassing. I’m not that good.

RW: You said in the film that you’re an “intuitive clown.” Would you mind saying something about what that means?

WG: I’m trained in the art of acting improvisation. That means acting on the spur of the moment rather than doing, say, the focused slow burn and all the traditional clown moves. I don’t do any of that.

RW: So that would be about sensing the moment, what’s there, and taking in who you’re with.

WG: Absolutely—and sensing what’s going on. I was, for a number of years, with The Committee in San Francisco. I taught improvisation at Columbia Pictures. Harrison Ford was one of my students and I’ve taught improvisation at Camp Winnarainbow for over thirty years.

RW: I wanted to ask you about your history. For instance, in New York in Greenwich Village, you wrote poetry, right?

WG: Yes I did.

RW: Is any of it available? And is it something you’d want people to find?

WG: There are a couple of slender volumes out there. I think you’d have to go to Amazon or eBay to find them. I don’t even have copies myself. But other people do and will lend them to me when I need them.

RW: Do any titles stand out for you?

WG: Kaleidoscope and there’s Joe’s Song, which is taught in a poetry class at the University of California at Berkeley. Would you like to hear it?

RW: Please.

WG: Okay. It goes like this: “Once upon and ever since I was a child in a child’s world. I have wept a child’s tears and built a child’s wall of clay and stone and colored years of poems in paint and virgin gold. I sought to build a wall so tall from lion eggs from Gallilee, a brick of song among the dregs of silver nails and lesser men a mile long to kiss the sun and climb again. Once ago and ever now I stood a man on a child’s wall. I stopped and prayed to spider webs and roses of the sea. I spoke as one with all the earth and knew the pain of birth and death to be the same without my wall. Once upon and ever furled I stand alone with all the world.”

RW: That’s beautiful.

WG: I wrote it in 1960 or about then. I don’t write lyric poems very often. These days I mainly write haiku, usually when friends pass away, which is happening more and more frequently from natural causes. Also I’ve been having the good fortune to have my art exhibited, and I do a haiku to go with each piece.

RW: I’m imagining that, as a younger man, you had certain visions and deep feelings that could have been a liability for living the conventional life.

WG: I don’t think I ever had to contend with that one [laughs]. I live in the land of one thing after another. [speaking with an east Indian accent] “The sand only goes through the hourglass one grain at a time,” as some Hindu sage proclaimed. I’ve discovered that to be true.

RW: Did you have mentors who supported you in Greenwich Village?

WG: It was kind of amusing. I was going to theater school at Boston University, which was an amazing theater school. The finest directors in the world would come in and the whole college would read for a part. A freshman could get a lead. It was extraordinary. And if you weren’t cast in the production, you would be cast in the lighting crew or the costume crew or the stage crew. Then there was an upset about theater students not doing their social studies and the university attempted to move the campus of the theater school over to where the rest of the university was laid out. Just at that time, the teachers who had all been hired during the McCarthy blackball because they couldn’t work on Broadway, well, the blackball ended and they all quit. They went to work at the Neighborhood Playhouse in New York City, and they took me with them.

But while I was at BU, I had read in Time Magazine about jazz and poetry in San Francisco. I thought, hey, I’ve written a couple of poems and I know some musicians. I can do that! So I got together with a bunch of artists from the museum school and we proceeded to take the basement of a bar called The Rock on Huntington Avenue. The place in the basement was called The Pebble in the Rock. We put in black tables and black clothes and mobiles and paintings and began doing jazz and poetry. It was the first jazz and poetry done on the East Coast. So I had the privilege of inaugurating the East Coast to jazz and poetry. I persisted in doing it for years in, of all places, Hartford Connecticut. On every Monday I would grab a bunch of musicians and go to Hartford and make substantial money. Otherwise I was going to the Neighborhood Playhouse and reading my poetry in the evenings at the Gaslight Café in Greenwich Village, as you saw in the movie.

RW: That’s an amazing story. There was another thing you said in the film, “put your good where it can do the most.”

WG: Which is the advice I gleaned from one of my mentors, the author and adventurer, Ken Kesey.

RW: Did that kind of focus something for you?

WG: Well, it lit up. It lit up. I had discovered that, somewhat. Whenever I would do a good thing, it made me feel good. I think I heard a preacher of color on television in the late fifties. He said, “It’s nice to be nice.” And that kind of hit a chord for me.

RW: Do you think there’s a mix in what artists do? That in your poetry, part of it was trying to give something?

WG: Hmmm, I don’t know. I was just trying to get out of the way and let whatever was inside of me come to the surface. In the early days, I was not all that consciously altruistic—although, in the early days of poetry, the poets were not paid. We used to pass a cornucopia around after an hour or so and people would put money in it. We made an embarrassing amount of money that way. Myself and Len Chandler, who was one of the first folk singers I brought into The Gaslight, he and I put on these capes with hoods—Len was an African-American and he had a motor scooter. And we would jump on the motor scooter at the end of the evening and drive down into the Bowery and find somebody passed out on the sidewalk. We’d stuff his pockets with money and drive off and find somebody else until we’d given away at least half of what we’d made in the course of the evening. It was a lot of fun.

RW: That’s incredible. What do you think led you to do that?

WG: I don’t know. It just seemed like a fun thing to do. We didn’t need all that money.

RW: Do you remember the moment when Ken Kesey said “Put your good where it will do the most good”?

WG: No. But he told me a lot of stuff—like, “You should honor your mother and your father.” This comes out of the Bible. As soon as I learned that Kesey had written that, I forget how he worded it, I immediately called my mother and my father and honored them verbally as best I could. And it was illuminating for them and for me. Afterwards, I called Ken up to thank him. He said, “Well, it’s just so darn simple.”

RW: I want to ask about giving and receiving. Do you have any thoughts in general, let’s say, about giving?

WG: Giving seems to be easy for me. Receiving is the thing I’m just beginning to learn how to do with grace. It’s a work in progress, like the rest of me. Over the last thirty years I’ve experienced considerable physical difficulty, having had to receive a series of spinal surgeries and spending amounts of time in body casts. You have no alternative, or you starve. So it was necessary. I tell people I learned patience in the hospital. [there’s a pause] That’s a pun.

RW: You’re right! [laughs]

WG: And as my infirmities persisted, I learned to acquiesce to the moment and accept, with as much graciousness as I could muster, the assistance of people who offered it.

RW: I bet this is true for lots of people, that it’s easier to give than to receive.

WG: Right, but as I pointed out, I didn’t have much choice, as with a lot of the stuff that has happened to me in my life. Life situations have presented themselves and it was either sink or swim.

RW: This reminds me of another part in the film. This is at Woodstock. You and the other members of The Hog Farm were brought there to be the police force for the whole event. You called yourselves “the please force.”

WG: We were the Please Force. And we had also set up what we called the Trip Tent.

RW: And there’s a part in the movie where you describe helping a young man who was having a bad acid trip.

WG: As he came in ranting, this three-hundred pound Australian doctor laid on top of him and said, “Body contact. You need body contact” [said with an accent] and then a psychiatrist leaned in and said, [using another funny voice] “Just think of your third eye, man.”

Then I figured it was time for me to make my move. I said, “Excuse me. I’d like to try something here.” And they all backed up. What’s this hippie going to do? That’s when I said, “What’s your name, man?”

RW: And he mumbled something…

WG: I said, “No, your name.” He told me his name and I said it back to him. In fact, I said it back to him several times.

RW: I noticed how very clear and emphatic you were when you got his name. “Okay, Bob. Bob, that’s your name.”

WG: Your name is Bob.

RW: Where did you get the knowledge of using that simple directness?

WG: We’d spent some time on the psychotropic frontiers through the prankster days and beyond. It was not unfamiliar territory.

RW: You knew something about being really concrete, and focused.

WG: And through the greatest professor of them all, professor experience; and from courses at hard knocks university.

RW: You’ve had a lot of hard knocks university experience, I think.

WG: Yes. Well, that’s how you learn things.

RW: You said in the film how you’d found you could get high without the psychotropic assistance. Could you say something about that again?

WG: There are many ways to alter space. I do lots of breathing exercises, and I do mantras. Different people have different recipes to get to a space of consciousness and then to dwell in it for as long as you can, I guess. My own way is an amalgam of many different practices from many different lineages.

RW: You evolved from Hugh Romney doing the poetry to where you were wearing a jester’s hat.

WG: Between poems I used to talk about the bizarre things that happened to me during the day because it was really tedious just reading all these poems night after night after night. Then a guy came along and said, look, skip the poetry. Just talk about your bizarre experiences. That’s how I got into doing stand-up.

Lenny Bruce became my manager. I put out a couple of albums and toured the U.S. —and in fact, something of the world—doing stand-up before these other things came along.

RW: Somewhere you left the jester’s hat and started dressing as a clown.

WG: I was asked, when we had moved to Berkeley in the mid-seventies, to go the Children’s Hospital in Oakland and cheer up kids. On the way out the door of my house, someone handed me a red, rubber nose. I discovered it enabled me to get out of myself and be entertaining to the kids. After awhile, I began to paint my face up as a clown. Somebody gave me a costume, and a clown who was retiring from Ringling Brothers gave me his giant shoes. I worked with kids, with kids who were terminal, even, and did this almost every day for about seven years.

At one point I had to go to a political rally at Peoples’ Park and I didn’t have time to take off my clown stuff. I discovered that the police didn’t want to hit me anymore. Clowns are safe.

RW: Can you say more about what your experience at Children’s Hospital working with kids was like?

WG: I discovered that not only was I helping the kids, I was helping myself. As I began to do this work, I’d gone through three major back surgeries and was in quite a bit of pain. But working with the kids I discovered that as I focused on the children and the pain they were in, I lost track of my own pain.

RW: Is the clown an archetype you can inhabit?

WG: Sure.

RW: Do you think, “I’m a clown?”

WG: I don’t know. I can’t see you.

RW: [laughs] No. I have a long way to go. If I evolved, I might become a clown.

WG: Well, you need to go to camp Winnarainbow. They’ll teach you to clown. It’d be good for you. I think John Townsend said it most brilliantly in The Book of the Clown, “A clown is a poet who is also an orangutan.” But clown comes from the word “clod” or bumpkin, and the red nose indicates they were drunk. But I found all this out later. Suddenly I have these big shoes on and [laughs] a nose and I’m painting my face up, and where does it all come from? I began to study it, and it’s very fascinating, the path of the clown and the jester.

RW: What have you found out about being a clown? What has been revealed?

WG: It enables me to go places I couldn’t go as a regular kind of guy. People feel challenged by people going where I go. But when I put on the patina of a clown I’m no challenge to them in any way.

RW: What do you wish for people when you become a clown?

WG: I wish that they would find joy in the moment. It’s like I expressed in the film, laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh at stuff or you’re going to end up with your beans on the ceiling.

RW: At camp Winnarainbow in the film it showed the labyrinth you have on the grounds…

WG: It’s a unicursal Cretan labyrinth. The oldest one is 3000 years old and was found on the island of Sardinia. The more common labyrinth, like the one you see at Grace Cathedral came about during the 11th or 12th century when Europeans could not go to Jerusalem on pilgrimage. So they developed this other labyrinth, which is different from the Pagan labyrinth, which made it to Scandanavia, to India and somehow to Peru and to the sun temple at Mesa Verde. That’s where I first encountered it when I spent time living with the Hopi Indians for a few months.

RW: How did that happen?

WG: I was enamored of the Book of the Hopi by Frank Waters. And that’s where I first saw the labyrinth. According to the Hopi if there was a condition of planetary emergency the different races would gather on this mesa for instruction from the spirit world. So I showed up. They said, “You’re pretty early.” But they took pity on me and I got to hang out with them for a while.

RW: Was anything given to you?

WG: Not something that I would feel comfortable talking about, but yes—not so much from the people as from the geography.

RW: So you brought this labyrinth to camp Winnarainbow, then?

WG: Yes. I asked Minalanska, who was an elder, what that was. She said, “Oh Wavy Gravy, that’s just the master plan of the universe.” So I borrowed a pencil and wrote it down, and I’ve brought it everywhere I’ve gone ever since. I learned to draw it. Even with my first book, I’d sign it and draw that labyrinth.

RW: Now how do you make use of the labyrinth at camp for the kids?

WG: A teepee at a time, in the evening, the campers get to walk the labyrinth to beautiful music under the stars. If they do good things, they get strokes. If they do bad things they get strikes. Three strikes and you’re out. You can always work off strikes, but you can get enough strikes to be sent home, too. By doing things above and beyond the ordinary camper—for instance, if you get eight stokes in a two-week session, you get to walk into the center of the labyrinth. In the center, there’s also these crystals. You get to take a crystal out of the labyrinth and take it home.

RW: Do you talk to the kids about the labyrinth?

WG: Oh, sure.

RW: What do you tell them?

WG: I tell them that the labyrinth is not a maze. Mazes are designed to get you lost. Labyrinths are designed to get you found. And I ask them to think of each step as a prayer for peace. I tell them you go into the labyrinth and that there’s an energy in the center that I call the spirit of Gaia, the earth mother. I say that if you have cares or problems you can leave them in the labyrinth and come out perhaps lighter than when you went in. And that is sometimes helpful to young people.

RW: In the film you made a comment to one kid that the labyrinth is inside of you.

WG: Oh, I tell all the kids that. The true labyrinth is inside you.

RW: That’s powerful. From the film, I see that your life has been a journey. Do you feel it that way?

WG: Absolutely. It’s been a great adventure.

RW: What are some of the changes from where you were and where you are today?

WG: The things that are the most significant for me in my life are the circus and performing arts camp that I’ve run with my wife Jahanara for over thirty years. We do nine weeks for kids and one week for grown-ups. And the Seva Foundation is another. Through it I’m able to raise funds to help the blind regain their sight. Eighty percent of the blind people in the world don’t need to be—they can get their sight back.

When we first started doing the work it was about five dollars for a cataract operation. Now it’s close to fifty dollars for the operation in third world countries. If you go to SEVA.org you can find out all about us. We’ve helped to orchestrate—it’s going on three million sight-saving operations. I get to put on concerts to raise funds to do that. I’m going to be seventy-five years old in May and I’m looking forward to doing a concert in the Bay Area at the Craneway Pavillion in Richmond and in New York City at the Beacon Theater. And also I’m facing another basic spinal surgery in January. So I’ve got a lot of stuff on my plate.

RW: I know we don’t have much more time, but …

WG: Eternity now, I always say. That’s one of my favorite quotes. And we’re all the same person trying to shakes hands with our self. I think that’s a good one, too.

RW: I like those quotes. It’s clear that you’ve spent a lot of time doing forms of service. Camp Winnarainbow seems to be a service.

WG: Well, my greatest legacy is the children that have come out of camp over the last thirty years. Lots of the kids who started camp when they were seven are now running the camp. And I’m sure it will go on long after I’m gone.

RW: Is that something one begins to learn, that the deepest gifts come when one can look beyond personal wants to take in the needs of others?

WG: That is my want! [laughs] Put your good where it will do the most. I can’t say it any better.

[WORKS AND CONVERSATIONS]

#Works and Conversations #Interviews #Wavy Gravy #Clown #Camp Winnarainbow #service #improvisation

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makeawisdom · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Verin Thelyss, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss Characters: Essek Thelyss, Verin Thelyss Additional Tags: Just two siblings talking about feelings, established shadowgast Summary:

Verin noticed his internal conflict, but he wasn't able to guess Essek's train of thought. He stood up and look him in the eye. “Why him, Essek? Why is he so special?”

(In which the Mighty Nein have been invited to dinner by the Umavi Deirta Thelyss and her two children have a heart-to-heart conversation while they wait for them)

“This is all your fault”

“I don't see how it could be. I didn't do anything” answered Essek without looking at his brother. “It was our mother's idea.”

“It was our mother's idea” repeated Verin, mocking his voice. “Bullshit. It's your fault. Our lives were happy and peaceful, and we didn't gather for more than fifteen years. But then you've decided to go out of your lair and get yourself a boyfriend.”

Essek felt the warm creeping over his cheeks, but he hoped he was able to hide it well enough. He didn't want to give his brother more material that he could use against him. He already had enough of his repertoire.

“That's not the reason why she's doing this. Our mother only wants to check if the Mighty Nein could be used as leverage in her schemes.” Not that he was to allow it, but he was wiser than to confront his mother straightforwardly. He worked better behind the scene, anyway, hiding in the shadows. “And he is not my boyfriend. We're… figuring things out.”

It sounded bland and hackneyed, but it was the truth. He and Caleb talked about it, and that was their mutual agreement. Everything was overly complicated already, taking in count the Mighty Nein knew about his endeavors with the Assembly. Essek's position as regards the group was precarious, to say the least. A few of them felt some resentment against him and he couldn't blame them. It would have been understandable if they decided not to trust him ever again. Why Caleb still could have faith in him, was a mystery. Essek couldn't fathom why would he hold any sort of feelings towards him either, even if Caleb was persuasive enough to convince him that he did. Words could lie, he knew, he mastered that art. But glances, and caresses, and tender smiles between kisses were a whole different story, one than Caleb told him with blunt sincerity and Essek couldn't help believing.

“That's definitely the face of someone that is thinking of a person which is figuring things out with, sure” Verin leaned back on the armchair he had claimed and raised one eyebrow. Essek, standing, looked at him from above with a deadpan expression. “I swear I still can't believe this is happening. I was so sure you will die alone in that huge tower of yours, surrounded by thirty cats that will feast on your remains.”

“That's hilarious. Hilarious and disgusting” said Essek with a tone that expressed he didn't find it funny at all. “Don't make that kind of jokes during dinner, please”

Verin gave him a grin.

“Why not? Do you fear that I will embarrass you in front of your figuring-things-out-friend?”

“No, my sweet little brother. I fear that they might like you.”

Verin laughed wholeheartedly, making Essek crack a little smile.

“What is your opinion on this?” He knew his brother well enough to try and be more specific before he could find room for another witty comment. “About Caleb and me, I mean.”

“Hold on a second, since when do you care about what I think? Are you okay? Did you hit your head or-?”

“I know mother will expound her point of view as clearly as she likes. I was hoping that, if you have something to say as well, we can discuss it privately, so I only have to deal with one criticism at a time.”

He seems to think about it for a little while until he finally said:

“Well… he's a human. A human from the Empire. That's weird.”

“I assume it must look like it is, yes.”

“But, that's not even the weirdest thing. The worst of all is that he is a wizard. A wizard, Essek! Do you know how untrustworthy wizards are?”

Of course, Verin wasn't talking seriously, but he can't help but think of what his brother would think of him if he knew how right he was. What Essek has done. How he, unintentionally, started a war that could have endangered his own brother.

How he was responsible for their father's death.

Before meeting the Mighty Nein, those thoughts wouldn't have even made him twitch. But now…

Now…

Regret is a novelty that didn't wear off easily. He didn't use to worry about the consequences of his actions, but at that moment, he realized his ambitions could have cost him more than he was willing to pay. Only one thin thread on the big tapestry of the odds had prevented his brother from being one of the numerous corpses soiling the ground of the battlefront, instead of being there, pestering him, laughing at his own jokes.

Before meeting the Mighty Nein, he has had already so much to lose but he couldn't see it. They didn't only give him another chance; they also give him perspective.

He thought he could live with the idea of his brother hating him. Essek had been alone for so long that he believed for a matter of fact that he didn't need anyone else. But the idea of Verin finding the truth, blaming him for what he did, was terrifying.

Verin noticed his internal conflict, but he wasn't able to guess Essek's train of thought. He stood up and look him in the eye.

“Why him, Essek? Why is he so special?”

His guilt didn't disappear, but that question was enough to bring him back to the conversation. That was his current battle: his denmother, his younger brother, the dinner all of them would be sharing with the Mighty Nein in less than an hour.

One concern at a time, he told himself. The first thing was finding a good answer to his brother's question. A very uninspired one, he thought. Only the seriousness his brother used to drew it up stopped Essek from dodging it and telling him he sounded like the side character of a badly written romance novel. He couldn't do it because he knew Verin's worry was sincere and that it was his way to show it.

“He’s outstandingly intelligent. Although he’s lacking formal education, he’s a competent…”

“Blah, blah. Magical nerdy stuff is one of the reasons, I get it. I didn’t even doubt it. But if that were enough, you would have hooked up with any of those stuffy people from the Marble Conservatory, but you didn’t, and it’s not as if you didn’t have your pick. You used to have a flock of infuriating suitors.”

“Yes, and all of them were infuriating, as you’ve correctly pointed out.”

“Well… but one or two should have been salvageable, I guess. But you’ve never had a partner before. Not one I’d heard of, at least.”

“I’ve never had a partner before, period.”

“See? That’s why I’m so curious! It must be something else!”

Verin was right: there was something else, but he didn't want to talk about it. He's always been proud of being discreet, keeping his matters to himself. Verin, on the contrary, shared everything, even those things Essek would have preferred not to know. It was an unbalanced dynamic, the one that they had, but Essek felt sheltered that way, stronger. Talking about what Caleb meant to him... Essek knew it would make him seem vulnerable and he didn't want that.

But that was the point in trying to do better, wasn’t it? Doing what is necessary to improve, even when he considered it to be the last thing he wanted to do. He had a long road ahead, but he could start with that little step. He took a deep breath.

“He is… He is everything I thought I didn’t need until I had him in front of me.” His mouth started getting significantly drier with every word he said, while he felt how goosebumps claimed his entire skin. He felt awful, self-conscious, and exposed, the same way he felt beneath the deck of the Ball-Eater, the day he confessed his crimes. He hated it just as much, but that probably meant he was doing something right, so he kept going. “He’s caring and understanding. He’s fun in his own awkward, delightful way. I’m still amazed at how much kindness he can show, after… After everything. I’ve never met someone with such endurance before. He’s admirable, in every possible way.”

He gave him a second chance when any other person would have made him pay for his wrongdoings. He hoped for him to be a better person, and Essek obliged out of selfishness, as he always did. He still believed in the cause he sold his soul to. His pursuit of knowledge, crossing limits anyone else hasn’t even dared to reach. He had lived through that desire, put all his stakes on it. In an ambient where he could not thrive, surrounded by people that didn’t understand him and didn’t care for him, magic was the only thing that pushed him forward. Without that itch, without his ambitions, what was left for him?

Love, he learned that infamous night in Nicodranas. There was warmth. There was friendship. There was love.

There was Jester, lovely Jester, holding his hand.

There was Caduceus, urging him to spit his dirty secrets as if he were trying to make him vomit a poison that was killing him inside.

There was Caleb, with his eyes, and his hands, and his lips. He kissed him gently, in a moment when any other person would have landed a stab-wound between his ribs.

That’s why his change was so selfish. He could not drop every project he had fought for during all his life and change just for himself. But he could change for them. Be whatever the Mighty Nein wanted him to be: a friend, an ally, or a lover. Damn, he would even be a good person! He was trapped and enthralled, and he never, ever, would like to be let go.

Did he ever stand a chance? No, probably he didn’t, not against them, at least. Not against Caleb.

“I wasn’t seeking companionship when I first met him” Essek admitted, “but when we stumble on each other, when I had the opportunity to talk to him and get to know him better… I couldn’t help but see how similar we were, and yet so different. I don’t know how to explain it, just… Everything between us clicked together.”

“An instant connection. How romantic.” Essek was grateful for the lighthearted inflection of his brother’s voice. That was normal, familiar. It was a good grip to keep his mind from spiraling. “Who knows. Perhaps the Light pushed you two together and you are meant to be, after all. I mean, what were the odds of you finding another oddball like you?”

What were the odds, indeed.

“I don’t believe in destiny.”

“Of course you don’t. People like you have ‘destiny’ for breakfast, but even you would admit that this is some kind of divine intervention. I mean…”

“Yes, I found someone that can stand me. A miracle” Essek replied with a deadpan expression, “You might find someone someday as well, if you ever stop being a little brat.”

Verin showed him the sharp point of his fangs. Essek was sure his brother was preparing himself for the delivering of another witty comment, but instead, he just shrugged and gave him an honest smile.

“You seem quite different, I would say.”

“Well, I am different. I suppose it shows.”

After a brief pause, Verin added:

“You really love him, huh?”

Essek didn’t need to consider the answer.

“I do, Verin. I love him immensely” he admitted so naturally that he surprised himself. That was such a profound truth that he couldn’t have expressed it with less honesty, because it wouldn’t have sounded right any other way. “Not only him. I love all of them. They’ve changed my life for the better. My relationship with Caleb has indeed meant a lot of adjustments in both our lives, but it works somehow, and it makes me happier than I can express with words.”

Verin blinked once, then twice.

“That’s… wow. Just wow. It turns out that nor only you have feelings, but you’re also able to talk about them! I’m impressed, I’ll admit it.” Essek raised an eyebrow, but Verin kept talking before he could comment on anything. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not teasing you right now… well, a little, but that’s what I always do. Believe me, I’m glad to hear you’re happy. It’s everything I could have hoped for you.”

Verin patted his shoulder a few times, a gesture that probably was just friendly between well-built soldiers, but it was a little rougher against someone as slim as Essek. He was able to keep his balance and his dignity with it. It hurt a little, but he did not express it in any way. He was too grateful for his brother’s reaction to getting mad at him for not knowing his own strength. Verin really mean everything he had said, Essek knew, and that tugged at his heartstrings. He cared; he had always had. Essek was lucky to have a brother like him, he thought.

“I have a question, though”, Verin began.

“Go ahead, please.”

Verin grinned.

“May I call that Caleb brother-in-law?”

Essek didn't hesitate.

“Don't you dare.”

***

Fun fact: If ‘Person A talking about their feelings for Person B with Person C’ can be considered a trope, it’s my favorite one.

Fun fact 2: This is not really my hc for Verin and Essek’s relationship. I think they hate each other’s guts, but I started writing this and I thought: ‘Oh, okay, this dynamic is wholesome. I’ll stick with it’

#critical role #campaign 2 #essek thelyss #verin thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #text post #fanfic

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