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lostinlewis · 1 year

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Old Flame ~ Part Five

Rating: M

Words: 4532

Character: Lewis Hamilton x F!Reader

Description: You learnt so much from your first love but the most important lesson he taught you was how to deal with heartbreak, even if it takes you six years. You were almost there, you almost made it days at a time without thinking about him…that was until he turned up in the most unexpected of places. ~ Part One

Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK. He kept the ring. Why did he keep the ring?

Your thoughts were in overdrive, your anxiety levels through the roof. The room was spinning as you tried so hard to be rational, something which was never your strong point.

Why did this have to be happening now? Things were actually starting to feel normal again and you had to find this?

Fuck.

“What are you doing?”

You almost jumped completely off of the bed at the sound of his voice filling the air all of a sudden. You were so wrapped up in the thoughts racing through your head you didn’t hear him arrive home.

“I said, what are you doing?”

Lewis’ voice was cold, unemotional, the complete opposite to anything you felt right now. His face was like thunder, he wasn’t happy.

“I…was-I was just looking for a T-Shirt to wear and I found…this.” You held the box up like he hadn’t already noticed it. “Why-what is this doing here?”

“You left it here.”

Lewis leant against the doorframe just observing you. He was doing nothing to help settle your anxiety, if anything he was feeding it.

What was his problem? Was he annoyed with you for finding it?

“I know I left it here. Why have you still got it?”

“To be honest, I don’t know. I picked it up from my pillow the morning I came home to find you gone, put it in the drawer and never took it back out again.” Lewis sat down on the bed next to you, the weight adjustment made you rise higher. “I kinda got used to seeing it there, I guess.”

“Can we get rid of it, please?” You handed it to him with a screwed up face. “The sight of it is making me feel sick.”

He took it from you and placed it in his pocket, letting out an audible sigh.

“You know, at some point, what happened won’t hurt as much anymore right?”

How could he possibly know that? It had been six years of pain, six years of your heart never quite repairing. Every attempt you had made so far at ‘getting over it’ was just a futile gesture, covering the cracks with cheap band aids that would fall off with the least amount of pressure. He couldn’t possibly know for sure that it would ever stop hurting, it hadn’t so far.

“What was your news?”

The tension in the room was still ridiculously high. You hoped his news might lighten the mood.

“Don’t worry about it right now, that can wait.” He grabbed your hand to hold it in his, his thumb tenderly brushing your skin, his signature move for calming you. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach, we have plenty of time to talk later.”

“But I want to know now.”

He sighed and shook his head, his patience was wearing very thin today and what he didn’t need right now was your stubbornness.

“Can you just leave it, please?”

You wanted to know, but you knew better than to push him anymore. Something was bothering him, something was weighing heavy on his mind and you knew it was way more than the ring.

Lewis had let you shower alone and that was telling enough that something wasn’t right with him, the silence as you walked across the almost empty beach hand in hand cemented it. You tried to find the perfect moment to ask him again but it was never quite there.

“Still want to go home tomorrow?” Lewis broke the silence instead.

“I mean, I have to. I have work commitments. It’s not like I can stay here forever.”

Lewis paused before speaking, every word he spoke that day was well thought out, with caution of saying the wrong thing.

“Well you could, if you really wanted to.”

“Lewis, don’t start this again please. We’ve been back to-“ you stopped yourself before committing to a relationship with him. “We’ve been back in contact for a little under two months, I can’t just leave everything behind that I’ve built back home and move here for someone I have been seeing for only a few weeks.”

“You talk like I’m a stranger.”

“But you are, Lewis. We are both strangers. We are not the same kids that fell in love all those years ago. We’re adults now, adults with completely separate lives who have to try and figure out how their lives could ever gel together again.”

“I don’t have to figure anything out. I want to be with you, no one or nothing else even comes close to making me feel like you do.”

“Lewis, stop-“

“No. I’m serious.” He stopped you both in your tracks and pulled you to face him. “I love you. I can’t take back the past but I can fix your future. I know now what it takes to love you the way you deserve, let me.”

As you stared into his eyes you thought about the future, about your future being with Lewis and it wasn’t a bad thought. If you were completely honest, a future with Lewis in Monaco, regular beach walks, a life of pure luxury, felt like bliss. You weren't quite sure you were brave enough to take that risk, though.

“Okay.”

“Okay as in you want to make this work or okay as in stop talking Lewis?” He had the sweetest smile of anticipation on his face.

“Okay as in I will go home tomorrow as planned, and we will talk about how we’re going to make ‘Us’ work.”

“You said ‘Us’.” He pulled you in to kiss him, his hands placed firmly on your hips. “We’re going to work, I promise.”

“I hope so.” You mumbled in between kisses.

“Can I please take you home now? I’ve been wanting to fuck you all morning.” Lewis took your hand and placed it on his hardened bulge.

“What if I make you wait and instead we spend the day doing exactly what we used to do, seeing as it’s my last day here and all?”

He let out a little groan at the thought of having to wait.

“If I remember correctly this was exactly how we started the day, every day.”

“It was. But our day has already started, so you will have to wait until nighttime.”

“You are such a tease, baby. I don’t think I can wait.”

You palmed his bulge a little.

“If you wait, I will make it worth your while.” He knew exactly what you meant by the smirk on your face. “Now let’s go and have some fun!”

“I mean I was trying to…”

You both filled your day with as many activities as possible. As you walked around, hand in hand, admiring the architecture of the cathedral it really felt like you two were in love once again. It felt like you were two lovers away on their very first trip abroad, filling each moment of their day with sight seeing and fucking.

Lewis made you stop outside of every tourist destination you visited, he’d ask a random stranger to take a picture of you both, advising you that he needed to fill up his photo album, aptly titled with your name, so he could look at you even when you were away. He never once minded that it usually meant he’d have to then take a picture with the stranger, they were almost always a fan of his. It didn’t matter, it meant he had a picture with his girl outside of some of Monaco’s most beautiful venues, a photo with a fan was a fine sacrifice for that.

You spent a few hours in the casino, Lewis had decided you were his lucky charm and weirdly enough it seemed to work. He made you kiss his fist full of dice before he threw them, beating the house more times than not, much to their annoyance.

Your excited laughter drowned out the rest of the casino, you knew all eyes were on you both but neither one of you cared. It was always so easy to lose yourself in the moment with Lewis, that hadn’t changed that at all. You could be in a room full of people yet all you would see would be each other.

“This has been the best day I’ve had in such a long time.”

Lewis purred in your ear as you both stood in a quiet secluded spot overlooking the harbour as the sunset in the distance. His arms were wrapped around you from behind, his hands locked into yours at your stomach, your head rested back against his chest as you both savoured the moment of peace together.

The scenery was truly beautiful, the electricity that sparked between the both of you was even more so.

“Me too.”

It honestly was, you couldn’t remember a time that felt more peaceful than this moment right here.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

He whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on the crook of your neck.

“Lewis, we spoke about this already.”

“I know but I still don’t want you to leave me. I want you by my side at all times, everywhere I go.” Soft wet kisses danced on the neck of your skin between every word. “Don’t argue, please. Let me tell you.”

He spun you around to face him, his eyes darted around your face before settling to meet your own gaze.

“I will never stop telling you how I feel. I made that mistake once, I took you for granted and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

His lips brushed over yours, his hands pulled your body into his before he hiked your thighs over his arms, placing you on the wall to rest.

You kissed, your lips in sync, your tongues fighting a battle for dominance, for what felt like a very long time. It felt like you were teenagers again, sneaking out of your respective houses to meet up at the local park just to kiss in secret. This time there were no parents to tell you to be home at a certain time, there was no one to stop either of you from doing exactly what you wanted and right now, this was it.

“Let’s head home, I have a surprise for you.”

As you walked back to the apartment, hand in hand, the heat at your core hoped his surprise was the thing he was the best at.

The apartment was lit with candles from the entrance, down the hallway and into the living room, leading out to the balcony where a table was laid with a single rose and a candle in the middle. The air was filled with the aroma of your favourite food, Thai. Lewis took your hand and led you through the candle lit pathway and out onto the balcony.

“Lewis, this is so beautiful. Thank you, when did you do all of this?”

He moved your seat out for you to sit down, like a true gentleman, before taking a seat himself opposite you.

“I organised it whilst we were out. I had to make your last night here one to remember.” He poured you both a glass of Champagne.

“The whole day has just been perfect, thank you.” You sipped on the glass, holding eye contact with him for a moment. “I remember we did this once before, for our anniversary. We spent the whole night on this balcony, making plans for our future, naming our kids-“

“I remember, you laid in my arms as we looked up at the stars and planned our whole lives.”

The shared smile between you both felt like an understanding, a truce of sorts.

“I was going to wait until the end of the night to say this but now seems like the right time.”

You watched as he took a huge gulp of his Champagne before reaching inside his pocket.

“I’ve loved you forever, I will love you forever. I never want to be without you ever again and I will do everything in my power to make you stay with me.”

He had you completely transfixed with his words, you didn’t notice what he was doing at first. The moment you did, your stomach dropped.

“Marry me, please.” He was down on one knee, flashing the ring he had proposed with years ago. “Let me be your husband.”

You froze, not a single thought or word could be processed. You stared blankly at him, completely unaware that he needed you to respond.

“Please?” The desperation was so apparent in his voice now, he all but begged you to answer.

All you could do was shake your head, ever so slightly, no.

Lewis sighed and stood up. He went to get back in his seat but something registered in his brain that made him turn back to you.

“Do you know what? I am tired. I am tired of constantly apologising to you for one stupid mistake I made so long ago. I can’t do this anymore. I have tried so hard to make you remember the thousands of good memories we have together but your focus is always on the one bad.” He placed the box on the table in front of you. “I am done trying. Go home tomorrow and I’ll no longer burden you with the thought of me. Keep this as a souvenir.”

The front door of the apartment slammed shut, waking you from your haze with a jolt.

Fuck.

You sat with your feet up on the chair he left you in, your arms wrapped around your legs as you stared into the distance. You sat for hours, listening for any creak of the door, a sign that he had come home. He never did. You didn’t sleep at all before morning broke over the horizon, the sounds of the birds singing their sweet song signified it was home time.

It took no time at all to pack up your suitcase, as you looked around the apartment one last time from the doorway you felt an immense amount of sadness. You loved it, every single part of it signified your relationship of both the past and the present with your soul mate. You knew he was your soul mate, whether you could be with him or not, that fact would never change.

You checked your phone in the taxi, despite having it with you the whole night you hoped maybe you hadn’t noticed a missed call or a message, there was nothing. Your thumb hovered over his name in your contacts a few times, you were so tempted to call him, to say what? You didn’t know but you just wanted to hear his voice, it was the only thing that ever gave you comfort in your moments of sadness and despite the fact it was completely selfish of you, having broken his heart hours before, you needed him.

A part of you hoped he would be waiting for you at the airport, to stop you from leaving with a big loving gesture, but he wasn’t. There was no call, no message, no him and it ate you up inside.

“Mrs Hamilton…oh I’m sorry that’s not your name I just assumed-“ the check in clerk stumbled as they read who had booked your flight, an easy mistake to make but one that rattled you.

“What did you call me?“

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have ass-“

“Call me it again. Please.”

“Mrs Hamilton.”

The realisation hit you like a tonne of bricks. Being referred to as ‘Mrs Hamilton’ had been one of your goals as a teenager as you stood at your window watching him begin his evening jog, you knew the exact time he would set off. You’d stand there timing his run, strategically placed behind your curtain so he wouldn’t spot you as you watched him return, all hot and sweaty. Lewis still never knew how many nights you’d get yourself off to the 30 second long imagery of him double over, trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry, I’ve got to go.” You left your ticket on the check in desk before hurrying out of the airport, your suitcase dragging along behind you.

You called him repeatedly and his phone went to voicemail every single time. Lewis always had his phone charged and in his hand, how was it possible that his phone would be off?

“Lewis, where are you? I need to see you.” Your voice was a hurried mess, he would think something had happened to you when he heard it but you had no time to worry about that now.

Monaco always felt so small when you lived there, like a village of sorts, where everyone knew everyone, but it had never felt bigger as you went from hotel to hotel, restaurant to restaurant trying to find Lewis.

He was nowhere, his phone was still going to voicemail and your messages were undelivered. You debated contacting someone in his world, maybe another driver, maybe someone in the team but thought better of it. No one had heard from you in years, besides, you still were not quite sure what you were hoping to achieve when you eventually tracked Lewis down, you just knew you needed to see him.

Four hours you searched, walking through the streets of Monte Carlo, dragging your suitcase behind you, your phone clutched permanently in your hand, not wanting to miss any kind of notification from him. His social media was dormant, no ‘Good Morning World’ Instagram story. He was quite literally M.I.A and you couldn’t help but worry.

You walked until you physically could not walk any further, the ache in your legs and your feet was all too much, so you hailed a taxi down to take you back to the apartment, figuring you could rest there for a little while before getting back to searching for him.

There was just one problem though, you had no keys. The realisation hit you as you searched your bag outside of the door. You hadn’t had keys to the apartment since you left six years ago. You slumped against the door sliding down it until you were sitting on the floor. Overcome with a mixture of emotion and exhaustion, you held your face in your hands and sobbed silent tears.

Maybe if you had been louder he would have found you sooner, but he found you nevertheless. It was hard to miss you, you fell back into the apartment and landed at his feet as he opened the door to head out.

“What the-” Lewis was puzzled, the last thing he expected to be faced with when he was heading out the door was you. “Baby, what are you doing here?”

He held your hands to pull you to your feet, he noted the smeared makeup, the mascara lines that decorated your cheeks.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He used both thumbs to wipe away your tears as he led you into the apartment, sitting you down next to him on the sofa.

“Lewis, I’m sorry I-” You cried some more, unable to get out any of the many sentences you had practised in your head as you walked the streets in search of him. “I looked everywhere for you, where were you?”

“You did? Oh, Baby.” He pulled you into a hug, you buried your face into the crook of his neck. There was so much comfort found in his scent. “What is going on? I thought you left?”

“I was-I almost did. But at the airport, the lady called me-” You sniffed. “She called me Mrs Hamilton and I couldn’t leave you.”

You were fully aware that none of what you really wanted to say was coming out, the words that did escape made it almost impossible for Lewis to understand how you felt.

“Baby, I do not know what is going through your mind right now but I’m here.” He fell back on the sofa, pulling you on top of him so he could hug you properly as he placed little soft kisses on your forehead. “You do not have to say anything, we can just lay here until you feel better.”

You rubbed your face across his chest, the warmth of his body really felt like home.

“I’m sorry for what I said last night. I will never stop apologising.”

You propped yourself up on him to kiss his lips and as if by magic, the feel of his lips against yours, made all of your thoughts clear at once.

“Marry me, Lewis.” You whispered into his mouth.

“What?” He had heard you, he just didn’t believe it.

You jumped up and ran to your suitcase, searching through it like a maniac until you found the box. You ran back over to him and took his hand.

“Marry me, please. This is-no, you are everything I want. I am so rubbish with words but I love you, you are my soulmate, you are everything to me. You have been everything to me since I first met the boy next door and that will never change.” He nudged your chin up to kiss your lips but you broke away, you weren’t finished yet. “I love you more than anything or anybody else in this entire world. I want to be Mrs Hamilton.”

You took the ring and attempted to place it on his ring finger, struggling to even get it past the first knuckle.

“It’ll never fit my finger, silly.” Lewis teased you. “Look at me.”

You stopped focusing on trying to get the ring on his finger, you looked up into his beautifully kind brown eyes.

“Yes, I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll marry you.” He took the ring off of his finger and placed it on yours, it fit perfectly. “You should wear the ring.”

Your smiles instantly mirrored each other, Lewis pulled you up from the position you knelt in front of him and you straddled his lap. Your lips met for the first time with so much weight of promise behind them. You had both just promised to be with each other forever, whilst having done this previously, this time it felt different. It was real.

You kissed for a while, a long while, so wrapped up in each other, so desperate to be as close as possible but neither one of you wanted to tarnish the moment with anything other than a kiss.

“I should tell my mum!” The excitement radiated through your voice as you reached for your phone. “This is like her dream come true!”

“Babe, before you do that I need to talk to you.” Lewis’ tone of voice really cut through the harmonious atmosphere and sent an anxious prang to your stomach. “Don’t look like that, it is nothing to worry about.”

“What is it? Tell me, please.”

“My business meeting yesterday morning was with Mercedes.”

“Well obviously, Lewis.” You were impatient, you always were when you were anxious.

“Just let me finish, please.” You could see the pain in his eyes as he thought about how he would deliver whatever news he had for you. “I told them that I’m retiring at the end of this

season.”

“You’re what?!” Your eyes almost bulged out of your head as you processed the words he said. “Why?”

“For you, silly.”

“No, absolutely not. Do not do this for me, do not do it at all!”

“Well it’s not your decision to make, and I’ve already spoken to Toto about it. It’s final, I’m retiring at the end of the season.” His voice was irritatingly calm as he spoke about ending the career he had fought so hard to have over practically his whole life.

“But why, Lewis? Why now? Why for me? I haven’t asked you to do this.”

This was a disaster, you knew he would end up resenting you forever if he did this, everyone would resent you.

“Remember I always told you I didn’t want to settle down, get married, start a family whilst racing?”

“Yes, and I completely understood that.”

“That is still the case, I do not want to do those things whilst racing, it’s too dangerous. Before, I wasn’t ready or even sure I really wanted that life, the family life. Now we are back together, I have never been more sure about anything in my whole existence. This is what I want, I want you, I want some babies with you and I want a happy life. Racing has been everything to me for so long but it is far too much of a risk for what my heart now desires.”

“We can wait a few years, Lewis. You are still in your prime.”

“I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to start our life together as soon as possible, if I could leave now I absolutely would without a second thought.”

“This is so overwhelming. We’re engaged, you’re retiring…are we crazy? This is happening so fast.”

“I am crazy, every weekend when I step in that car I am crazy but this? This is the most sane thing I have ever done.”

You finally relaxed a little again, placing your head into the gap between his arm and his chest as he held you, both of you staring at the ceiling, running through your many thoughts.

“Oh god.” You groaned.

“What now?”

“I’m going to be the Yoko Ono of the Formula One world.”

Lewis chuckled before kissing you on your forehead once again.

“You are so silly. Do you really think people aren’t going to love you? Baby, there are still fan pages dedicated to you, to our relationship. Just wait until I post you on Instagram, we might just break the internet.”

“Let’s do it!”

“What, now?”

“Yes, why wait? Let’s tell the world right now. This is the perfect time, no one can get to us, we are here in our apartment in Monaco with no real plans for the next week. Let’s tell everyone now.”

“You said ‘Our apartment’” Lewis cooed.

And so the world found out about your reunion, your engagement and Lewis’ retirement all within one Instagram post. The picture was of you both as you laid on the sofa, Lewis with the biggest smile on his face, his eyes crinkling confirming his happiness, you placing a kiss on his cheek with your arm wrapped tightly around his chest.

‘I used to think I was placed on Earth to be the world’s greatest Formula One driver, turns out I was placed on this Earth to be her husband. This woman right here will be my wife soon, the mother to our children in the future and the sole reason for my eternal happiness. I love her and I know you will all love her too. Whilst I will no longer be a racing driver, I will never leave. I have so much purpose to fulfil, but this time I get to do it with the strongest woman beside me.’

#lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis #ex #Old Flame

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froggywritesstuff · 1 year

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warmth | yandere!philip hamilton

Pairings: Yandere!Philip Hamilton x g/n!reader

Warnings: yandere themes, kidnapping, toxic and unhealthy relationships, manipulation, mentions of murder and dying (please don't read if you're uncomfortable with any of these), swearing, being really cold

Time: not specified

A/N: i wrote this the other night at 2 am, and i'm definitely not happy with it but i need to get it out of my drafts 😭

You sat on the cold, stone floor, violently shivering, the only sounds coming from your heavy breathing, the pounding in your head and the cold air blowing in through the open window. You felt your energy draining as you could barely keep your head up long enough to glare at your captor. He sat on the bench in the middle of the room, staring smugly down at you, a warm towel held tightly in his arms. It was almost like he was enjoying this. The fact that you were almost certain that he was made you sick to your stomach. Why wouldn’t he be? Any situation where you were weak and begging for his help made him feel powerful, and reminded both you and himself that your life was in his hands. And that was extremely enjoyable to him.

”Y/N, you’re being ridiculous,” he said, “all you have to do is apologise, and you can be warm again.”

If your hands weren’t chained to the wall, you would’ve slapped him before he could even finish his sentence. He’s the one who dumped the bucket of ice cold water on you because of some bullshit reason you couldn’t even remember, and he was calling you ridiculous?

But with every second your body was screaming at you to apologise. You could feel your lips becoming numb every second your teeth chattered to the point where it was almost painful.

You said nothing, just glared at him as he had the nerve to look at you so innocently, so hurt by your hostility.

With a sigh, he stood up from the bench, leaving the towel on the bench, just out of your reach as he headed for the door, “Fine. Stay here. I hope you learn your lesson before you freeze to death.”

Your heart pounded with fear. On one hand, you were sure he was just bluffing. He wouldn’t have kidnapped and killed for you just to leave you to die. On the other hand, you were sure that you would freeze if you stayed there any longer.

”Wait!” you grimaced at the desperation in your voice. You felt so vulnerable, so pathetic. You hated it, while he was loving every second of it, “P-please, just- don’t leave.” you couldn’t believe what you were saying.

Philip turned around, crossing his arms over his chest as he leant against the stone wall, “Is there something you wanna say?”

You hated him. Everything he did made your blood boil with anger. The way he spoke to you like you were a small toddler, acting like you were completely defenceless and useless without him. But you shoved all that hate down. You didn’t want to die in his house.

”I,” you took a shaky breath, not even the tears running down your cheeks providing any warmth, “I’m sorry.”

He titled his head to the side, “For?”

Your lips clamped shut. Why did he have to be such a prick all the time? So much had been happening lately you couldn’t even remember what he made you have for dinner last night. Well, come to think of it, you didn’t remember having dinner at all last night… how long had you been down there for?

With a huff, he began walking toward you, “Or do you need some reminding?” he knelt in front of you, his hand roughly gripping your chin, forcing you to look at him, “Does the name Theodosia ring a bell?” Just the sound of her name brought more tears to your eyes (tears you hoped Philip would take pity on). You hadn’t seen her in months. But, you did feel like you had had some sort of interaction with her recently…

Scoffing, Philip‘s grip on your chin tightened, “Or will some more ice water help you remember?”

Your eyes widened at his threat, and you felt your breath become heavier, your chest falling up and down, “No! No,” you cried, your vision becoming blurry with tears, “I-I remember, I remember.”

He chuckled darkly, “I sure hope you do. Otherwise I would’ve killed her for no good reason.” As if he’s never done that. He narrowed his eyes at you, “Now apologise.”

You gulped, regaining some memory of what had happened with Theo, “I-I’m sorry for trying to leave…” you whispered, almost afraid of speaking too loud, which didn’t impress your captor.

”What was that?” he asked mockingly.

With a shaky breath, you repeated yourself, “I’m sorry for trying to leave you.”

Philip’s expression softened immediately, a smile gracing his lips as he loosened his grip on your chin, “See?” He brought both his hands up to your cheeks, cupping your face as he used his thumb to wipe away your tears, “Now was that so hard?”

You said nothing, sniffling as you stared down at the floor, not wanting to look at him any longer. You felt his lips press against your forehead, followed by the chains around your hands loosening, until they were finally free. Philip’s warm hands wrapped around your wrists, helping you stand up from the cold floor, as he guessed your legs would’ve been numb. He guided you toward the bench, pulling your body toward his as you felt the warm towel wrapping around your body.

You practically melted in his arms, feeling tears of relief fall down your cheeks. You held back a sigh of content, not wanting to give Philip the satisfaction of knowing that something he did made you feel better.

You felt his hand wrap around the back of your neck as he pulled you closer, leaning his forehead against yours, “See how much easier this is, Y/N? You just have to do what you’re told and it can be like this all the time. Understand?” You stopped yourself from arguing with him, knowing it would just be more trouble, which was the last thing you wanted right then.

With a shaky breath, you brought yourself to reply. "I understand."

buy me a coffee <3

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kkkimagine · 11 months

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RUMORS

Summary: since you started dating Miles, rumors were normal at your pace, but this new rumor is going to go too far

pairing: miles.42 x Reader

you can listen to the songs the Reynolds pamphlet, burn and first burn from the musical Hamilton, I was inspired by those songs

my first imagine, don't be too hard on me, my first language is not english, sorry if there are grammar mistakes

Rumors ran fast at this school, especially about someone like Miles, who had his own reputation as an untouchable bad boy. For the same reason, that made you, Miles's girlfriend, his untouchable girl, rumors about him always reached you quickly, either because a friend of yours will tell you about it, you'll hear it in the hallways or Miles himself will tell you , this time you were not surprised more than any of the previous ones without knowing how big the rumor would become.

- Did you hear what they say in the corridors? - asked your sister, Gwen Stacy, walking next to you to get to the cafeteria - apparently someone says that Miles has some very strange behaviors.

- And by that you mean what? - You said leaving aside what you were looking.

- By this they mean that they have seen him slip out of classes, more than normal, leave his room very late at night, after that he arrives with somewhat suspicious bruises on his body - your sister said, looking at you somewhat worried - It all sounds weird really, maybe you should talk to him.

- don't worry, Gwen - you sighed a little too loudly, stopping your sister - I trust him, besides, people always create ridiculous rumors about Miles' life, they're just curious.

Right at that moment you felt like arms wrapped around you.

- Hello, ma - you heard that voice with an accent that you liked so much - we have class together, I was thinking that we could go together.

You turn your face to Miles's and give him a small kiss on the cheek before nodding.

- buenísimo, well then let's go - he said taking your hand and then he turned to Gwen - see you later, Gwen.

You pulled his hand when you felt that he had spent enough time looking at your sister and together they started walking. You noticed that he was somewhat nervous as the two of you walked, strange.

- By the way, I noticed that you haven't answered my texts, mami. Anything to say? -

-Oh sure, I forgot to tell you that my phone died, I took it to be repaired but it will be ready on Monday, so you'll just have to wait to get my encouragement messages back - you smile, bothering your boyfriend's existence a bit.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Two days later you calmly walk through the halls of the school happy that it was finally Friday for three very good reasons, number one: there was much less time left to get your cell phone back, you felt a little disconnected from the world without your cell phone by your side, number two: you could go home for the weekend and be a lot more relaxed which brings you to the last and most important reason, number three: you were pretty tired of the gossip you've endured all week because of the new rumor about Miles, you can't understand how this rumor kept going around everywhere. But this morning the whispers were louder, more people staring at you, more people whispering as you passed them, more people naming Miles and judging the boy, this is starting to tire you, when all of a sudden you see a group of guys looking at a cell phone and you can hear as a boy said.

- Miles Morales had a torrid affair and they recorded him right there -You furrowed your eyebrows noticeably, this is the last straw, Miles would never be capable of doing something like that, you knew it, you were about to tell the boy to shut up when you heard someone call you.

- Y/n I finally found you - you saw one of your friends running towards you quickly, then she took your arm and led you towards an empty classroom - you have to see this.

She handed you her phone that had a paused video, you touched the video to start it and you saw Miles's face.

- nah man the rumor against me it's a connection to the thing that I sneak around a lot, that for purposes of fuck me, you know - you saw your man talking with his typical coolness and relaxation, you smiled but the next thing you heard broke your heart - My real crime is a amorous connection with a hot Puerto Rican who hasn't been called Y/n for a considerable time, you can't blame me.

And the video stopped there, with the idiot face Miles was making, a face that didn't even really look like him.

- and that's not all, many conversations appeared that apparently belong to Miles with that girl, somewhat risqué - your friend showed you the screenshots of several conversations, you couldn't believe all this, at what moment? You never thought that Miles would do something like that to you, he never showed that he would be capable of doing that to you - I'm sorry, darling.

You looked at your friend with red eyes and you couldn't stand her looking at you like that, you took your bag and ran out of that place. Upon reaching the corridor full of teenagers you felt that everyone was looking at you and whispering about everything, you were short of breath while you walked quickly looking for a way out of this place, while you passed by the people you could hear parts of the video and the surprised words from some of your classmates

"for a considerable time, you can't blame me"

- damn -said a girl, quite surprised by the tone she used

"that for purposes of fuck me, you know"

- booo - muttered a group of boys in unison, they looked even offended hearing all that.

"My true crime is a love affair with a hot Puerto Rican who hasn't been called Y/n"

- No - shouted a boy who saw you just after having reacted so effusively, their eyes looked at you with pity, they all seemed to look at you with mercy.

A girl running with her cell phone and saying to a boy - Have you see this? - with Miles's voice blaring at full volume.

And you just thought "I have to get out of this place" while listening to all the whispers around you.

Damn!

Boooo!

Have you see this?

Everything came together in your mind, closer and closer to crying when you stopped short when you saw a scene that broke you a little more inside.

- I came as soon as I heard - your sister shouted as she got closer and closer to him, to Miles. You hear someone murmur next to you "all that way just to talk to him after what he said?" Making your hair stand on end because you knew this couldn't be good.

- Gwen, thank God I have to explain what I'm trying to do here - he tried to get closer to her.

- I'm not here for you, Morales - with that he stood paralyzed in the middle of the hall looking at my sister, the circle that was made around them let out an "oh" of surprise for this - I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.

Miles looked at her guiltily and you just felt like yelling at him too, but not now.

- I love my sister more than anything in this life i will choose her happiness over mine every time - she got closer to him with a gloomy air - Put what we had aside, i'm standing at her side.

Then she turned around and finally said to Miles, who was practically frozen in place.

- You could never be satisfied, God, I hope you're satisfied - with that she walked away from Miles and passed by your side, but since she didn't realize you were there you quickly ran towards the school entrance door and you breathed in the air outside as if you were breathing for the first time.

After being there for a few minutes, you decided to go to your apartment, you walked through New York with a face full of tears not caring if you looked like a mess, your mind felt like a mess right now. When you got to the apartment you knocked, since you had left the keys with your suitcase, in your school room, your mother opened the door and when she saw you she smiled but when you jumped on her crying she got worried, she took care of you and talked to you until she had to go to work, when you were alone you decided to look at all the letters and drawings that you had kept in a big box in your room that said "memories of Miles" when you saw all that you cried harder looking at all the empty promises in which you had believed everything This weather.

- I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me, I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line for some kind of sign and when you were mine - you said to yourself trying to find the words you would say to Miles when you saw it, but nothing seemed enough.

You felt enough sadness for this moment and the sadness turned to anger the more you read and watched, determined and angry you walked to the landline of the apartment, you took it and dialed Miles's number after a few rings he answered you with an "ah?" Since he did not have this number scheduled.

- I couldn't say that I expected this, Miles, defending your name when I heard the rumors I supposed that they were again ridiculous people's imaginations, apparently not - you heard how Miles held his breath when he heard your voice - do you know what's ridiculous? The fact that I saved every letter you wrote me, from the moment I saw you i knew you were mine, you said you were mine, i thought you were mine, that was my mistake Miles, believe in you and in your damn mouth .

- mami, I need to talk to you - but you didn't even want to hear his voice right now.

- don't call me like that, you know what? I always thought my sister was a little crazy, but now I understand that she was right, do you know what Gwen said when we saw your first call arrive? She said "be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive" I think it was truer than I thought.

The silence of the call felt worse than anything he could have said...

- I don't want to see you again Miles, thank you very much - you said hanging up the call. After that you went back to your room taking everything that had something to do with him, photos, gifts, clothes, whatever and you started to put everything in a box, that took you all afternoon, you realized that really had a lot of things that belonged to Miles in your room, you decided that you would give one of your friends the box so they could deliver it to him, instead of having to do it yourself, you didn't think you could see Miles again time.

After that you took again the box of letters and drawings that Miles had given you, if you kept seeing all the words and illustrations of love that he had given you, you would never get over it, you had to burn these memories, burn the letters that might have redeemed him, you saw them one last time to sit by the window of your room and you began to burn the first letter you received from him, the paper was still burning in your hand when you looked down and saw him going up the fire escape from your building, you moved away from the window trying to close it without succeeding fast enough as Miles reached the window preventing you from locking yourself in your room.

- We have to talk, Y/n - he said when he saw how you moved away from the window.

He entered through your window while you reached the farthest corner from him, he made a feint of approaching you when you pointed at him angrily.

- Don't take another step in my direction i can't be trusted around you - Miles seemed hurt by your coldness and you noticed how he looked guilty towards your red and swollen eyes.

- mami, all this has an explanation - he even seemed desperate to explain everything to you, the only problem is that you didn't want to hear it anymore - I just couldn't let this rumor get so...

You didn't let him finish while you threw him one of the stuffed animals that he had given you a long time ago.

- Don't think you can talk your way into my arms, you can't do it anymore, I don't want to hear lies anymore -

Then you felt your hand burn a little since you still had the card that was burning in your hand, you released it and it fell to the floor where Miles looked at it confused.

- I'm burning the letters you wrote me, you can stand over there if you want - you took the box that had his things and put it on your bed - I also want you to take your things with you when you leave my room and my life , I no longer want to know anything about the web of lies that is this relationship.

- No, Y/n you don't understand, if there are lies in this relationship, it's true - Miles explained trying to make you understand the things that were happening, but you just looked at him incredulously, not knowing how he dared to say it like that after all - but not the ones you think, it's something dangerous.

You started to laugh out loud, in your laugh there was not a hint of humor, but at this moment you preferred to laugh rather than cry.

- dangerous? Now you're going to tell me that Miles, please, I know what the lies are - you told him with an aggressive tone, while he saw your face - the lies are in a video that everyone has seen, the lies are the kisses, the loving words, hugs, gifts, looks of love, promises and above all, the biggest lie is the supposed love you have for me, Miles, those are the lies.

- don't say that Y/n - he began to speak more coldly because of everything you said - I know what it seems like but there is something very difficult to explain why I have to do this, I don't even date a Puerto Rican woman in my life, you know.

- you're wrong, I thought I knew what you did and felt Miles Morales, now I understand that I don't know shit about you, I don't know who you are, I have so much to learn - then you looked at the ashes on the ground and sighed - I'm re-reading your letters and watching them burn.

Miles felt his heart heavy with anguish, he doesn't know how he was going to solve this problem, he doesn't know why he had to listen to what his uncle Aaron said in the first place.

- You're the only one who really knows me, ma, the only one who knows how I always feel - your boyfriend whispered trying to solve this problem, even if it's letting you know how important you were in his life.

It took all your courage and willpower not to throw yourself at Miles and hug him, you still loved him but you couldn't forgive this, the lies weighed heavier at this moment.

- don't fuck with me, Miles, you published the messages that she sent you, you told the whole world how you brought this girl into your bed - you said with some tears falling down your cheeks - you laughed while you told your friends.

- I was trying to clear my name because of the rumors that were going too far, Y/n, try to understand, everything about the girl is a lie - he told you a little defensively.

- Oh yeah? Oh really? Well, in clearing your name, you have ruined our lives - you told him on the verge of disaster again, unable to believe that he was being so cynical - don't tell me that clearing your name matters more to you than saving your relationship, because I can't find the sense of lying about a fake affair to get rid of a rumor.

He began to breathe faster as he walked desperately around your room trying to find a way to make you understand without telling you anything about the prowler thing.

- the world? I told the whole world according to you, Y/n? Well, the world was playing meddling in my life, I couldn't find another way, the world had to... - You couldn't even let him finish, you were boiling with anger thinking about what he was capable of saying just to excuse himself.

- Well, I don't understand Miles, why did you have to say that to the world and not tell it to the only person who knows you Miles, supposedly me - you pointed it out again and began to say aggressively - The world have no right to my heart, the world has no place in our bed, they don't get to know what I said while you were explaining to me all the things that you didn't have time to explain in the famous video, the world shouldn't matter so much to you when you should care about the people you lose while you explain to them your life.

You walked away from him again as if he had a very toxic disease, as if you were disgusted by the man you loved with all your heart just a few hours ago.

-I had never realized it but behind that relaxed attitude that you show everywhere you are always observing how everyone is looking to capture something from your life and you are paranoid in each expression how they allow you - and you began to throw more of the old things at him that they reminded you of how much he supposedly loved you - you, you, you.

He dodged everything you threw at him and tried to find the words that would calm you down, but he could never tell you that he was the prowler and he had to focus on something bigger so no one would suspect.

- everything has an explanation, just let me talk -

- You and your words, obsessed with your secret, the secret that you are not able to tell me - you cried no matter that he was there looking at you - since you could never be honest with me Miles Morales, you forfeit all rights to my heart, you forfeit the place in my bed you sleep in your lonly room instead with only the memories of when you were mine.

Your heart broke saying this but you were so sick of him not being able to tell you the truth, always hiding something, you couldn't live like this anymore.

- I hope that you burn, Morales - he looked up at your face with a lot of sadness in his eyes.

- It's all part of a plan, I just can't explain everything to you now -

-Heaven forbid someone whisper "He's part of some scheme" Miles - you said even laughing as you approached him to aggressively point to his chest - that nobody notices your incredible plan to undo the rumor that practically said that you were dating someone according to me people told it, don't make me laugh.

This time he was the one who walked away from you looking upset and disappointed, which annoyed you even more. What the fuck could he be disappointed in after all he did and said?

- all those people who whisper, Y/n, you don't know how that shit is, all day long the usual bastards whispering -

- oh i get it, your enemy whispers so you have to scream I AM THE MOST MACHO, I HAVE TWO WOMEN AT THE SAME TIME CLOWNS, surely that's what you wanted to imply, I don't even know why I'm surprised - then you remembered how everyone whispered where you went - I know about whispers, Miles, follow me everywhere, with every rumor, with every new bruise on your body, with every new fight, every time you go out with my sister.

Upon hearing the mention of Gwen, you saw how he tensed up quickly, clearly he was going to deny anything which made you explode for which you yelled loudly in his face.

- I see how you look at my sister - Even you were surprised by the way you said it, but you weren't sorry - Don't, I'm not naive, I have seen women around you, don't think I don't see how they fall for your charms all your charms

Miles looked up at the sky and then ran his big hands over his face, tired and exhausted from this conversation, before saying coldly.

- It's not my fault that they get close, I just want you by my side, mami -

- I think I don't believe you anymore, Miles, after all the evidence has been seen by the whole school - you smiled sadly, you hated what Miles had done, what he had said, and above all you hated that after all this you still loved him - I don't want to know anything else, Miles, I want to sleep so take your things and leave me alone.

- You can't say that, ma, I love you - he said taking your face and getting closer to him - you are the best part of my life.

All of your courage you used to step back and tell him emotionlessly.

- I'm erasing myself from your life, Miles, I don't think you understood that - you told him without expression on your face, letting him see that you were very serious, then you put the letters and drawings that he had given you on the other box that was on your bed, knowing that you would not have the courage to burn the others -Let the students wonder how Y/n reacted when you broke her heart, do not record another video saying how you destroyed my soul to preserve your fame as a great man.

You turned your back on him and kept saying the things that you would know would make him leave your room and, although it hurt so much to know what would happen, your life.

- And when the time comes explain to your family the pain and embarrassment you put your girlfriend through, because she doesn't come to dinner anymore, she's not going to call anymore - you dropped some tears remembering mom Rio who had behaved very kind with you always - And I still wondered when will you learn that only what you think matters? only what we think matters!

Then you remember the letters, messages or nights in which he let you know that he was yours.

-If you thought you were mine.... Don't - and with that last sentence you heard how your window closed and when you turned around neither Miles nor the boxes were there, tired you walked to your bed and went to bed letting out more tears of sadness.

Miles went back to the window without you noticing and promised himself to fix this problem.

After that Gwen entered your room, and went to your bed to hug you while you cried uncontrollably.

- oh love, you have in a relationship with an Icarus he has flown too close to the sun - which only made you cry more, because you knew she was right - everything will be resolved, baby, I'm on your side.

#miles x reader #miles 42 #miles morales #the prowler #miles x y/n #miles x you #gwen stacy #across the spiderverse #imagine #Spotify

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awesomephd · 9 months

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ever draw something so indulgent you have to stop because you're blushing but then you can't stop thinking about it so you write an accompanying drabble?

yeah me either

The silk feels cool as it slips up his thighs and settles, snug, against his hips. Richard runs a thumb along the curve of his hipbone under the soft material, careful not to touch too much and have Hamilton walk in on him fondling himself. The garterbelt comes next and the straps dangle awkwardly against his thighs when he moves to pick up the pair of stockings left on the bed.

Soft jazz music fills the silence of the apartment while Richard struggles through three attempts to pull the stockings up before finally getting one on somewhat smoothly. The second is easier and they’re both clipped to the straps in front before Richard stands again. He has to twist himself almost entirely around to see the straps in the back and as he clips them to the stockings he silently laments for every woman that has to put this kind of get up on alone without superhuman flexibility.

With everything in place, Richard only gets a few scant seconds to look over himself in the mirror and feel mildly ridiculous wearing stockings without shoes, before the sound of the front door opening and closing cuts through the music.

“Richard?” There’s the sound of keys jingling and some shuffling as Hamilton goes through the motions of setting down whatever he was carrying now that he’s home.

“In here, Hamilton.” Richard looks himself over some more until he catches Hamilton in the reflection also appreciating the view. Fighting the urge to cover his body, he turns to face the other man and holds his arms out instead. “So, how do I look?”

“Positively divine. Although, you’re missing the final touch.” Hamilton steps further into the room and Richard finally notices the pair of short heels dangling from his hand. “Here. Sit.”

Richard follows the order, sitting at the edge of the bed again. He gasps, caught off guard when Hamilton then kneels down and puts a hand on his stocking-clad calves to lift first one foot and then the other for him to slip the shoes on for Richard. The intimacy of the moment has Richard feeling warm and lightheaded, but he can’t look away from Hamilton who’s still gently caressing his leg with a gloved hand.

The warm leather brushing over the sheer fabric makes Richard shiver and, like a spell being broken, Hamilton pulls away to stand again.

Clearing his throat, he helps Richard stand and places a hand on the small of his back when he wobbles slightly in the unfamiliar shoes. “Careful, Richard. You’re not walking the runway in Milan. No need to rush yourself.”

“Hush, you. You’re the one that wanted me to wear these sprained ankles waiting to happen.” Watching his steps carefully, the pair make their way to stand in front of the full length mirror and Richard finally looks up to see his reflection again.

Immediately, he straightens up- taken aback by the difference a slightly lifted heel makes in how his legs look in the lingerie. He never knew his calves could look so nice. His eyes rake over his own body again, as if seeing himself for the first time, while he takes in the ensemble and raises a hand to straighten his hair.

“I knew you’d look breathtaking in this color.” Hamilton’s low voice breaks the trance and Richard uses the mirror to look at his reflection too. He’s still fully dressed in his suit and shoes, gloved hand still warm on the small of his back, and has to noticeably tilt his head up to whisper in Richard’s ear now.

The hand on his back finally moves in a small circle before trailing to his hip where Hamilton thumbs over the layers of panties and garters and presses his body closer to Richard’s. “Aren’t you glad you let me get these for you?”

“Yes.” The words come out on a sigh and Richard sways slightly as he tries not to immediately melt against the shorter man.

#nick did an art #venture bros #phantom limb #professor impossible #impossilimb #limbpossible

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camplofi · 1 year

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BSOTS 178 - Creative Commons Gems From Public Enemy And Nikki Giovanni

All comments, questions, and general feedback can be sent to [email protected]. Record a voice message and send it my way or leave one at the Speakpipe page!

You can subscribe to Radio BSOTS via the following options: RSS feed ||| Apple Podcasts ||| Spotify ||| Google Podcasts Amazon Music ||| Stitcher ||| TuneIn ||| iHeartRadio

Connect with Camp Lo-Fi via social media: Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

This episode's track list (title / artist / source / license):

1. Old Futuro Blues by Yoko Absorbing [Free Music Archive] (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)

2. Zo0o0o0p!!! feat. Oddisee by Kidkanevil [Bandcamp] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0)

3. All I Know (Featuring Big Remo and The Hamiltones) by Wals [blocSonic] (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0)

4. Dance of Contradictions by Isak Gaines [Bandcamp] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0)

5. Ridiculous Love (wetSkin Hot Summer ReMix) by Niki J Crawford [Jamendo] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0)

6. In The Spirit Of Martin by Nikki Giovanni [Free Music Archive] (CC-BY-NC-SA 3.0)

7. Get Up Stand Up (Featuring Brother Ali) by Public Enemy [blocSonic] (CC-BY-NC 3.0)

Looking back over the last ten shows for the BSOTS podcast feed, eight of them featured at least one Creative Commons licensed tune. Even after more than 15 years of podcasting, the CC music landscape still feels like largely uncharted territory for me, which is probably why I've felt the need to dig through the online crates to see what I can find. In addition, I've been listening to prior BSOTS episodes from over a decade ago, revisiting the music that I have played on the show and taking note of the songs that still sound great to me so that I can reintroduce them on future episodes. This show marks Camp Lo-Fi's long overdue return to the feed and is where my CC music appreciation agenda kicks into high gear. The seven songs featured are a mix of tunes from prior BSOTS episodes alongside selections receiving their first spins, cutting across genre and released between 2009 and 2023.

The blocSonic netlabel opened my eyes and ears to the world of CC licensed music. It was through their netBloc series of compilations that I was introduced to a network of artists and online labels, most of it (if not all) available to freely download and share. The blocSonic offerings in this episode are courtesy of last year's album from Wals and a stellar cut from Public Enemy (as heard on netBloc vol. 44), featuring the always on-point lyricism of Chuck D and special guest Brother Ali. Another notable hip-hop moment is "Zo0o0o0p!!!," the brief but absolutely banging cut from Kidkanevil featuring Oddisee, a ridiculously talented emcee and producer whose music I've been championing on this show for well over a decade. Isak Gaines moves us into the unpredictable and experimental side of jazz with "Dance Of Contradictions," a song that sonically lives up to its title. A bouncy yet broken groove for the first half of the song gives way to a beatless abyss of sound effects and saxophone screeches before bringing the hammer down with a distorted bass line and a defiant horn section.

Niki J Crawford's "Ridiculous Love" was an unexpected surprise that I stumbled upon over on Jamendo, a sultry soul offering made all the more seductive with the wetSkin Hot Summer ReMix. It's percussion heavy with a slight Brazilian influence and a breezy shuffle topped with acoustic guitar strums and Niki's powerhouse vocals. Yoko Absorbing's "Old Futuro Blues" is a short, sweet, and somewhat off-kilter cut that lives in repeated moments of loops, locked grooves, and live instrumentation. And there's probably no better example of the sonic treasures waiting to be discovered over at the Free Music Archive than live recordings of legendary poet Nikki Giovanni. "In The Spirit Of Martin" is her ode to not only the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., but to the struggle and perseverance of the Civil Rights movement as a whole.

If you're Creative Commons curious but have been unsure where to start looking, hopefully episodes like these can demystify this world of music one song at a time. Thank you so much for listening.

Other key info: Theme music produced by Cy Tru and edited by Macedonia. ID drop courtesy of DarrenKeith.

The content of this show has been released under a CC-BY-SA license. All works within this show retain their original releases. See the show notes at bsots.com for more information.

Another BSOTS podcast episode for the people...

#BSOTS #podcasts #music #hip-hop #soul #funk #jazz #electronic

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writing-in-lesbian · 2 years

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I choose you, you know? It’ll be nice knowing you choose me too. Pt.6

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff / Female reader Tags: fluff, cursing words. Translations: Detka = baby // Moya lyubov = my love. Synopsis: You know your arrangement with her of being friends with benefits might end up hurting you, yet you choose to jump into her bed every time she asked… until you couldn’t. A/N: I’m sorry this update is like super short. Life has been hectic, my new neighbours are doing renovarions well into the night so I’m a little bit sleep deprived, just wanted to have soemthing out. I promise the final 2 chapters will be longer than this!!

Thursday couldn’t come sooner. You spent the last two days trying really hard not to overthink things. Bucky gave you really good insights into the whole situation and told you, just like Carol had, to just enjoy the present and not worry over things that were or are beyond your control. Given both of them know about your anxiety, they also reminded you they both were there if you need them.

You decided to keep it classic, going for dinner and a movie since it was still a work night and you know for sure Natasha has to be up earlier than you. After all, you’re the one still doing home office and not her. Getting the dinner reservations were easy, you opted for a family-friendly type of restaurant, going for Italian, knowing well Natasha loves it. Once you have everything organized you text her the general plan and tell her you’ll pick her up at 7 pm.

Wanda texts you with her opinion on the outfits you sent her earlier, telling you that it really didn’t matter what you wore since Natasha would probably still love you even if you showed in a garbage bag dress.

You replied to her with the middle finger emoji.

There’s no need to say that you are a ball of nerves. Trying not to think and concentrate on breathing so you don’t get down in a spiral of thoughts and let your anxiety take the best of you. So in order to distract yourself, you took a long bath, bought some flowers online (choosing a pick up at store option), and tried to remember all the lyrics to “Satisfied” from Hamilton while getting ready, something that has helped in the past to calm yourself. Odd, but it works for you.

The alarm sounds. 6:15 pm sharp. If you want to make it on time you need to leave in the next five minutes. Grabbing your wallet and phone you shove it into the small purse (like really small only fitting that, both your keys, a really small bottle of perfume and lip balm) You once wondered what was the reason behind for you to have bought such a small item.

A text distracts you.

Natasha.

Your heart drops and your stomach does that thing when you feel a hole in it.

You can’t (or rather your anxiety) help thinking she’s about to cancel. Cautiously opening the app you read:

Tasha 💫: Can’t wait to see you in a few.

The stupid smile that reflects on your face is all the signs your brain needs to calm itself.

Quickly replaying that you can’t wait either and that you’re actually on your way, you leave your place.

Some curses and a few minutes later, you are finally outside her place. You try to rearrange the flowers, one of the downsides of not finding a parking spot close to the store and rushing in and out made a few of them fall out of place. You take a deep breath in… and let it out.

After the first knock, the door opened.

And she’s standing there, in all her glory… in black slacks, black hills, and a sinful wine blouse that does things to your stomach. You are staring and the grin she has makes you well aware that she notices.

“I think I made the right choice with my outfit then”

“Uh… yeah… I mean, hi, these are for you” you say sort of pushing them into her hands. Her small laughs make you blush.

“So kind of you. Let me put them on water and we can go”

“Sure, sure, yeah. I’ll wait”

This is ridiculous you think. You and Natasha used to talk easily way before your little arrangement so this shouldn’t feel weird. You think is more due to nervousness, as you both are testing new waters in this new side of the relationship. You are distracted from your thoughts when you feel Natasha’s hand on your shoulder.

“I’m ready detka” and the smile she gives you melts your heart. You can’t help but mirror it. Clearing your throat, you open the door and step outside, offering your arm for her to take.

“Shall we?”

“We shall,” she says as she takes your arm after closing the door.

Once in the elevator she steps closer to you, her perfume reaching your nose, a small scent of flowers with a little tone of citric that somehow works on her. The ride downstairs is slow and you can feel a tension building up slowly, if somebody were to enter, they could cut it with a knife.

“Are you finally telling me where are we going to eat or am I supposed to know until we get there”

“Well, Miss. Romanoff if you must know…” her eyes widened slightly, thinking you actually caved in. “It shall remain a surprise” it takes her two seconds to understand what you didn’t actually say, her lips forming an “O” shape.

“I kinda hate you”

“No, you don’t”

“No, I don’t”

“I know you don’t like surprises, and I would really like to keep the destination a mystery but if you want to know I can tell you thou,” you tell her while avoiding contact. After this time you still get shy and nervous around her.

Natasha observes you, part of your charm has always been that shy side you have, that introverted part you claim to dislike but actually love and she can’t help but feel drawn to it.

“I trust you, clearly you spent a lot of time planning our date”

Tree little words, tree hard words for her to utter, you should know, but hearing them directed at you, even if she has spoken them before still makes your heart do flip flops.

“I promise you will like it”

She grabs your hand tentatively. You interwind your fingers with hers. She squeezes your hand.

Masterlist

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@poptartpoppyy @s1ut4nat @temptationsbrew @thatonebrazilian @ladyylesbian @ima-gi--na-tion @username23345 @raqelacevedo @norwaynatasharomanoff @strangegardentaco

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #Natasaha Romanoff #marvel #natasha x y/n #natasha x fem!reader #black widow x you #busy writer #cross posted on ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author

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captainnameless · 2 years

Note

I feel like we don't talk about Lewis and the Littles (why does that sound like a cheesy band name 😂) enough, but him leaning down to check on Lando during the driver's parade, when he was sitting in the corner all alone, trying to hide under his umbrella and use cooling rags to combat the heat/his eye irritation/mayhaps a fever was so sweet and kind. Going off of one of fireworksforlando's drabbles now but sir lewis take that poor boy some of your amazing homemade soup 😤

please his little crouching down to the poor bub made my heart swell i- <3333333

lemme just:

There’s a gentle knock on his door and Carlos almost thinks he imagines it because he isn’t expecting any visitors. He moves a little in an attempt to shift his body towards any supposed sound, careful not to jostle a peacefully asleep Lando too much.

Then, there it is again; a quicker couple knocks this time, still gentle and a second after his phone dings.

Lewis Hamilton ‘are you home?’

Carlos frowns gently because what would Lewis be doing here, and types out a quick ‘yes? are you at the door?’

it shows Lewis typing, then not, then typing again before a simple ‘yes’ appears.

Carlos frowns deepens, he debates texting back that Lando’s here, but he’s 90% sure Lewis already knows and he feels rude texting the Brit when he’s a couple feet away from him outside his house in the heat so he gently tips Lando back and off his chest, nestling the boy back onto the cool pillows and brushing the curls out of his face, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead when the boy grumbles a little at the movement. He waits until Lando stills again, his breathing even and slow before moving from the bed and toeing his way downstairs.

When he opens the door Lewis is there, one of his hands is tucked away in his ridiculously large cargo shorts, how he manages to look good in them Carlos will never know, while the other holds a container of some sort. He smiles at Carlos with an awkward shrug before extending out the hand with the container in it. “For Lando.” He says sheepishly.

“For Lando?” Carlos echoes, a little bit of confusion bleeding through his voice as he takes it from Lewis, the cold metal feels nice against the hot sun that’s currently making him squint.

“Its-, I.” Lewis starts before clearing his throat, his now free hand suddenly occupying the other pocket. “I noticed he didn’t feel too well today.” He says, concern genuine on his face. “He didn’t look too good. I’m surprised he raced actually so I- I’m good at soup you know? Makes you feel good.”

Carlos nods, and small smile evident as he listens.

“But it’s freaking hot.” Lewis laughs gently now. “And my hotel room doesn’t have a kitchen. But I have a blender, and some good smoothie recipes. I just wanted to help.” He rushes the last bit out, seemingly a bit uncomfortable and Carlos isn’t sure why. “Just thought.. well I know you have him most times.” Lewis continues. “At least. I think- I don’t really kn-.”

“Thank you, Lewis.” Carlos interrupts, the smile more prominent on his face as he holds the smoothie to his chest. “That’s very kind.”

Relief washes over Lewis face as he returns the smile. “I put some of those super vitamins powder in it, it doesn’t taste of anything but is so good for you. He’ll never know. I even made sure it didn’t turn it green.”

Carlos laughs then, the sounds bubbling out of his throat, knowing very well getting Lando to eat or drink anything green is a challenge. “Thanks for that.”

Lewis nods, shifting his stance a little. “Lando upstairs?”

“He’s asleep.” Carlos nods, leaning against the doorframe with a soft sigh. “Pretty bad fever once we got home, finally got him on some medication that luckily seemed to kick in pretty soon and a shower cooled him right down.”

“Good.” Lewis breathes with a nod. “That’s good. Poor boy.”

“Hmm.” Carlos agrees, then adds. “Pretty sure this is gonna help make him feel even better though.”

“It should.” Lewis nods. “I hope it does.”

There’s silence for a beat before Carlos stands straight again. “I’d invite you in, but I’m just gonna be in bed with him. I don’t want him to wake up alone. He’ll be upset if he wakes up alone.”

“Oh no I understand, I didn’t-.” Lewis starts then stops himself before going into another ramble. “I just wanted to drop it off. Debated leaving it outside but it might have turned into that soup.” He chuckles in a way only Lewis can.

Carlos smiles. “Can I give you a hug?” He wants to ask, make sure not to cross a boundary with Lewis who still seems quite careful with everything.

It catches him off guard, Carlos notices before he gets a nod. He moves forward then, hugging Lewis with the arm not holding the smoothie and clapping him on the back as he pulls back. “I’ll make sure to let him know you stopped by.”

Lewis simply smiles, nods again, then gets back in his car.

He’s sent a picture a couple hours later; it’s Lando with an orange-y looking residu mustache, smiling at the camera with slightly puffy eyes. “Thank you Lew!”

#littlef1adventures #mini fics woooo #lewis and the littles sounds hilarious lmao #lf1a.minific

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dcbutinamrev · 3 years

Text

Amrev as Classic Vines pt. 4

(After that post, we all could use a little laugh. Hope these help lighten up your mood or day! Enjoy!)

***

King George III: *holding ice cream* Unicorns be like-

*smashes ice cream at Seabury*

Seabury:

Laurens: *after he discovered Hamilton’s marriage* Screw you, I’m leaving!

*slams door, pauses*

Laurens: Oh...forgot my keys! Ha ha ha

Hamilton: Laurens, how did you get your hair to look so good? I’m jealous...

Laurens: ...It’s...natural...

Hamilton: Wow...

Jefferson: Sir, can I have a full tank of gas?

Hamilton: That is $38

Jefferson: That is absolutely ridiculous

Hamilton: If you don’t like the price, go to Taco Bell. They’ll give you gas for $1.29

Henry Laurens: This room always messy! You got clothes on the floor-

Laurens: *grins and presses button* I do this all the time, I am so sorry

Hamilton: *at Maria Reynolds* Ooh-

Betsey: No! Very bad no! Go inside!

Hamilton:

Betsey: Now, stay in there and think about what you did wrong!

Hamilton: But she was fine-

Washington: *when the aides leave to go somewhere* Alright guys, have fun! I’ll be here! *laughs awkwardly* If you need me! By myself...

Angelica: Did you see what Alexander did to his girlfriend at lunch?!

Peggy: What?!

Angelica: He got her a napkin!

Peggy: No!

Angelica: Yes! That is so goals!

Laurens: Time for some patriatoic activities!

Lafayette: Fireworks?!

Laurens: No! Dumping tea! *splashes tea*

Redcoat: *screams*

Lafayette: Was that hot tea?

Laurens: Maybe...

Tilghman: What are you doing...?

Meade: THE FLOORS ARE LAVA!

Tilghman: You’ve been doing that since you were a kid...

Meade: I’m not dead yet, am I?!

Washington: Okay, senior trip! Where do you want to go?

Hamilton: The Bahamas!

Washington: I don’t know about that...

Laurens: Let’s go to hell!

Washington: No!

Betsey: What do you want for Christmas?

Angelica H: All the worlds pugs! *pause* Pugs are for life

Philip H: Hey, Dad, can we go get ice cream?

Hamilton: Uh...sorry buddy, we can’t

Philip H: Okay...fine, I guess I’ll just tell Mom that you’re cheating on her

Hamilton: *panics* Ice cream sounds great! Let’s go!

Burr: Hey, could you pass the ranch?

Hamilton: What do you say?

Burr: Uh, what do you say? Give me that stupid ranch before I kill you. I swear it-

Hamilton: Oh, you look like you got a little something right there...

Laurens: What is it?

Hamilton: Pepper?

Laurens: Wait...no..Ow! That’s my mustache!

Hamilton: Babe...

Laurens: *wakes up* Wassup?

Hamilton: I love you~

Laurens: New phone, who this?

Hamilton: What...?

Laurens: New phone, who this?!

Tallmadge: Go pet the lion, he’s more scared of you than you are of it

Arnold: I highly doubt that cause I am terrified right now

*Burr says something*

Hamilton: *tries not to laugh but fails* Fuck you Burr

Washington: *at Hamilton*: Hey, son! How’s it going? How are those chores going? Don’t forget the flowers, you need to...WATER those!

Hamilton: Gingers have no souls...seriously...just look at them

Hamilton: Hey, me and John are going to go jump off a bridge! You wanna come?

Lafayette: Oh my God, I am so unprepared for this *laughs* YES!

Johann Lavine: Hey, buddy, your grades are slipping... what’s up with that?

Hamilton: What’s up with you just getting out of prison?

Harry Laurens: Not to rough...

Laurens: *tossing Jemmy up and down* He’s alright! Aren’t you?

Laurens: *tosses Jemmy up*

Jemmy: *hits head and falls*

Laurens:

Harry:

Laurens: Call the doctor...now...

Lafayette: *at Laurens* You look coat looks so comfortable!

Hamilton: *at Laurens* You’re so sexy I set you as my homescreen!

Kinloch: *at Laurens* You have the voice of an angel!

Betsey: Can I get all tall frappichino? You want whipped cream?

Hamilton: *deep voice* You bet your ass I want whipped cream

Betsey: *slightly terrified* With whipped cream...

Hamilton: Whipped cream..

Hamilton: *in aide-de-camp office* Fuck.

Washington: Yo! Watch your language!

Hamilton: Oh, shit my bad. Fucking...dammn it...

Hamilton: I had a dream about you last night...

Laurens: Well, tell me about it~

Hamilton: No, I don’t remember!

Laurens: Well, try to remember something

Hamilton: You were in France, it was a Tuesday night, you were wearing a red shirt

Laurens:

Betsey: Babe, we did it! You’re going to be a father!

Hamilton: Babe, I’m reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, what do you want?!

Hale: I’m Nate

Tallmadge: And I’m Ben

Both: And we’re too very supportive guys

Tallmadge: I can’t lift this...

Hale: I believe in you

Tallmadge: Okay...

Hamilton: How many times do I have to tell you, you’re ten years old for crying out loud

Philip H: I know Dad, I’m sorry...

Hamilton: Beer before liquor never been sicker. Okay?

Theodosia Burr Jr: Dude, how’d your Dad make all the money?

Philip H: Dad, do the voice...

Hamilton: E. A. Sports

General Green: Show me the police sketch

*Laurens hands paper*

General Green: What the hell is this?

Laurens: Art *peace sign* Okay?

Jefferson: Ladies...if you ever want to get a guy’s attention... just wear a bonnent! They are so sexy bring them back!

Laurens: *does something reckless and stabs a Redcoat hot-like on the battlefiled*

Hamilton: That was majestic~

Laurens: Alexander, what big eyes you have

Hamilton: All the better ways to see you, my dear!

Laurens: What big nose!

Hamilton:

Laurens:

Hamilton: *laughs awkwardly* What about my nose?

*When Hamilton returns from Yorktown*

Betsey: Oh, honey, I’m so happy you’re back! But can you surprise me in a cuter way, so I can film it and post it on Facebook

Andre: Whatever happened to predictability?

Arnold: What do you mean?

Andre: I mean, the milkman, the paper boy, England teaming!

King George III: Wait what? You’re not coming to my tea party?! Seabury, I made biscuts!

Paul Revere: Hey, guys. If you really want to get the job, bring your own bean bag to the interview! That way you look casual

John Quincy Adams: My Mom said I could be the best dancer in the world!

Abigail Adams: Believe in yourself, baby!

Hamilton: You know when it’s sibling day and you’re like, “Hey! I love you.”

James Hamilton Jr.: I love you too...

Both: I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!

Philip H: Dad...?

Hamilton: Yes, sweetie?

Philip H: What are you doing?

Hamilton: Just watching you sleep

Philip H: This is my dorm!

Rachel Faucette: Alexander, it’s family dinner time. Get those elbows off the table.

Hamilton: Fine

Hamilton: * to James Hamilton, foot on table* Dad, can you pass me the potatoes

Spada: *howls like a wolf*

Meade: Hey, Harrison, what do you want for Christmas?

Harrison: I don’t know! I got pizza and some turkey for Christmas, man! I’m so hungry!

#source: vine #iconic vines #classic vines #alexander hamilton #john laurens #eliza schuyler #angelica schuyler #peggy schuyler #john andre #benedict arnold #rachel faucette #johann lavine #hamilton as vines #amrev as iconic vines #pt 4 #lams #historical lams #there's a lot of lams in this one #amrev

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mysticalnightenthusiast · 3 years

Text

S.N.A.F.U- A Daniel Ricciardo FanFic CH21-Racing to London.

Daniel raced from Max’s car and made it up to his apartment in record time. He swiftly packed a backpack with some clothes and his basics then raced into the bathroom and had a hot shower. By the time he emerged to get dressed Max had arrived and was waiting in the loungeroom wearing a shit eating grin upon his face.

“Oh don’t be smug prick it’s unattractive,” he groused “fuck I haven’t even organised my shit for Baku!”

“Text Pippa tell her you’re a lovesick idiot, offer her a pay rise to get all your shit to Baku and book a fucking ticket,” Max told his friend in amusement “fuck me I feel I should be your P.A.”

Daniel dumped his packed bag upon the coffee table and immediately opened up his phone to begin searching for a ride to London.

“Fucking hell!” he swore several minutes later “all the usual charter companies are booked out and the first available commercial flight doesn’t leave for another five hours!”

“Sucks Hamilton sold his jet or you could kiss up to him for a ride,” Max responded watching his friend swiftly book the ticket.

“He’d be in Baku already anyway,” Daniel responded “he always goes over early.”

“D'you still want me to give you a ride to the airport?” Max asked “I need to go home and change first though, I smell worse than you did.”

Daniel rolled his eyes.

“Yeah you do that,” he replied “that gives me the chance to pack my shit for Baku and make Pip’s job easier. I owe you big time Verstappen.”

The young Dutchman laughed.

“Just invite me to the wedding and let me organise the stag night,” he said heading towards the front door.

****************************************************************************************

Max returned three hours later to find a nervous Daniel pacing around his now spotlessly clean apartment his kit bag for Baku placed near the front door.

“Kelly wanted me to tell you, you’re an idiot but she hopes things go well,” he said “I do too, but I also want you to get laid.”

Daniel rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this to get laid,” he said grabbing his backpack and striding out the door “you coming?”

Within minutes the two men were in Max’s car and on the way to the airport.

“Does Eadaoin even know you’re coming?” Max asked.

“No I thought I’d surprise her,” Daniel replied.

Max rolled his eyes.

“You idiot,” he said “what are you going to do if when you get to London she’s not home?”

“Uh, ring her?” Daniel responded

Max rolled his eyes and smacked his own forehead.

“What is it with you?” he said with a chuckle “you’re not usually so dumb. Fucking hell you have a gorgeous woman on your arm, who has serenaded you with a love song in public twice and you’re still confused about where to go with her? Bro it sounds like she wanted to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane weeks ago!”

“She did actually invite me to stay last week,” Daniel admitted sheepishly.

“An you said no?” Max asked incredulously “duuuuuuuude....”

“I was too afraid to dive in,” Daniel admitted “like Eadaoin is nice, decent and good person, takes me for who I am and doesn’t force me to be someone I don’t want to be but something still made me hesitant to jump in. I think I was afraid of this being Jem mark two again. It wasn’t until a few hours ago when we were recovering from our run did it hit me that I’m ridiculously in love with her.”

“After hearing you speak about her for weeks on end and seeing you together Sunday night I can guarantee you one hundred percent brother Eadaoin is not going to be a Jem mark two,” Max informed his friend “we, that being Kelly, Blake, Michael, Pippa and likely all the staff at McLaren have known you’re in love with her long before you did. Jesus even everyone back at Red Bull know you’re in love with her just by what I’ve said you’ve told me.”

“Great now I feel an even bigger idiot,” Daniel groaned.

“Yeah you are but we all love ya mate,” Max said with a snort of laughter “and none of us expect to hear from you until you turn up in Baku.”

“Aye can you keep this little side trip on the down low?” Daniel asked his friend “I haven’t told anyone but you and Pippa I’m heading back to London....”

“You can count on us bro, just don’t expect me not to give you shit about being a lovesick puppy,” Max promised with a snort of laughter “especially if you get laid.”

“Oh go fuck yourself.”

Shortly after 6PM and under darkening clouds Max dropped Daniel off at the airport.

“All jokes aside I hope what you’re about to do goes well,” he told his friend as they bumped fists “see you in Baku yeah?”

“Thanks, you got it.”

Without looking back Daniel made his way into the airport and swiftly found the correct check in desk, then with boarding pass in hand he went through security and to the far end of the departure lounge where his flight was due to leave. He bought himself a coffee then sat down in a corner to wait, nervousness pooling in his stomach.

*************************************************************************

An hour and a half later the boarding call of his flight was announced, Daniel was one of the first passengers to have his boarding pass scanned and was on the plane and settled in the last row left hand side seat before most of the other passengers were walking down the center aisle, He pulled down his beanie, pulled up his jacket collar and adjusted his mask ad settled back. Within twenty minutes the plane was full, the doors shut and the plane pushed back.

“Not long now darling,” he murmured under his breath “not long.”

An hour and a half later after flying around London in a holding pattern and increasingly bad weather Daniel’s plane landed at Heathrow. He grabbed his backpack as soon as decently possible he exited the plane entered the arrivals lounge, raced through customs and immigration and outside where he quickly found his pre-ordered Uber car.

“I’ll tip you a thousand pounds if we can hurry this up.” He said as he yanked open the back door and slid across the back seat.

The drive lit up like a Christmas tree.

“You got it!” the young Sikh man replied “okay sit down, hold on and shut up because this is gonna be a ride!”

Daniel opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted but a flash of lightning and a deafening clap of thunder that made him jump, he hastily secured his seatbelt then sat back nervously drumming his fingers on the edge of the door.

“You runnin’ late bruh?” the driver asked as the sky lit up again.

“Kinda,” Daniel replied “I’m heading to see my girlfriend.”

“Ahhh I see, well I’ll get you to where you want to go, won’t be long!”

It seemed to take an age but eventually the car left the airport limits and headed towards Twickenham, it was raining so hard it was almost impossible for the driver to see where he was going despite the wipers going as fast as they could on their fastest setting. Because of the bad weather the traffic crawled to a stop and it was half an hour before the car paused in front of Whelan’s.”

“I could run faster than this!” he exclaimed “let me out here...”

“But Sir we haven’t reached your destination yet!” the driver exclaimed “there’s only two miles to go!”

Daniel ripped open his wallet then leaned forward between the front seats and upended the contents into the beverage holder.

“I know you’re not supposed to accept cash but if you let me out here you can have that plus the tip,” he promised “there’s at least five hundred pounds there.”

“Are you sure?” the driver asked “bruh you’re going to get soaked.”

“I don’t care,” Daniel replied “honestly I could walk and get where I want to go quicker, you’ve done a brilliant job seriously....”

“Well if you’re sure...” the driver replied tapping on the screen of his mobile phone.

Daniel grabbed his bag, swung open the door and stepped out.

“I owe you big time dude, have a great night!” he said “see ya!”

Daniel shut the door, tuned on the spot and took off at a run in the direction of Eadaoin’s house. Within seconds his feet were soaked, his clothes were soaked and each time one of his feet hit the ground it made a loud squishing noise. He ran past a service station , two pubs a busy convenience shop three blocks and Twickenham Green the local park before he slid to a stop, heaving for breath out the front gate of Eadaoin’s house, he legged it over the fence then skipped up the front path and to the front door before lifting a fist and knocking on the door.

**************************************************************************************

A/N1: I know I’m evil for leaving it there aren’t I?

#F1 #daniel ricciardo #DanielRicciardo #DanielRiccardoFanfiction

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lupismaris · 3 years

Note

For the requests silver flint Hamilton adopting a cat?

(aahh i loved this thank you!!! it got a bit long so I’ve put most of it under a readmore but I hope you like it!)

Silverflintham in my general modern au.

******

“What’s this?” Silver asked, digging through the grocery bags that now littered the kitchen counter.

Flint was busy sorting through the day’s mail, tortoise shell reading glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed as he read over a dinner invitation for himself and Thomas.

“What’s what?” he asked, tossing aside the invite and shuffling through bills.

Silver rolled his eyes and slid the stack of high end tins of cat food across the counter until it was in Flint’s line of sight. He knew that if he went down to the first floor he’d find a large bag of high end kibble to match, likely resting by the patio door.

Flint looked up, saw the cans, and snatched them off the counter. “Nothing. Just- for the shelter-“ he muttered as his ears started to burn.

“The shelter you send a check to once a month and whenever they ask?” Silver clarified, perching himself on the edge of the bar as Flint tucked the cans of food in the back of a cupboard. “That shelter?”

Flint scowled at him. “Yes for that shelter, they put out fliers asking for supplies alright? Figured I’d drop some off on my way to work tomorrow,” he snapped. There was very little bite to it, it was rare that Flint ever truly got annoyed with him.

“And it’s not for the slowly growing cat colony you totally aren’t feeding out in the alley each night?” Silver asked in a sweet voice.

He’d known about the stray cats in the neighborhood almost from the beginning of his relationship with Flint, how he’d keep a bag of food at the bar in case any of them came to the kitchen door, how according to Gates he’d managed to trap a few and get them to a rescue. He hadn’t found out about Flint’s unofficial colony of strays, however, until he had moved in. At present Silver guessed it was only a handful, four or five adult cats who were either content being feral or just waiting for the right home.

Flint liked to think he was subtle, that he wasn’t so obviously sneaking out each night before bed to leave food and water in the alley, to make sure the little cat boxes another neighbor had built were in tact. Silver let him believe it, though he couldn’t be sure whether or not Thomas knew about his husband’s unbearably endearing hobby.

Silver laughed softly at the flustered and indignant look on Flint’s face, the flush in his cheeks making his freckles turn ruddy. He reached for his hand. Flint took it without hesitation.

“It’s kitten season,” he said softly, not meeting Silver’s eye, “and that always means a few more strays on the streets. The little ones need different food, more calories so they put on the proper weight. That’s all.”

Of course Flint would be thinking about the kittens. Of course. God Silver had fallen in love with a truly ridiculous, wonderful man.

“I’m only teasing. You’re awful sweet,” he said, pulling Flint in for a kiss. It was enough to soothe Flint’s bristly demeanor, though he was still a bit flustered when he pulled away with a muttered ‘am not.’

Silver hooked his arms around Flint’s middle and tucked his face into his neck, purring slightly when Flint leaned into him and went back to sorting the mail. “You are. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. Your husband might though.”

Flint huffed a laughed and kissed Silver’s curls. “Oh without a doubt. Speaking of, he home yet?”

Home, that was still taking some getting used to.

“No but he did say he’d be a bit late today, last minute student meetings or something.” Silver said against Flint’s throat, pausing to mouth a bit at the hinge of his jaw. He could feel the vibration of Flint’s soft rumble of content and he nipped the soft skin below his ear.

“Well dinner won’t take long, I can fridge the duck for now, wait till it’s closer to supper time.” Flint’s voice held a note of mischief to it. “I’m sure we can think of something to entertain us in the mean time.”

Silver smiled against Flint’s throat, lifting his head to kiss him. “Oh I have a few ideas.”

Flint chuckled into the kiss, pulling back despite Silver’s whine of protest. “I’m sure you do. Help me finish the chores, pup, and you can tell me just what kind of ideas you have hm?”

As if Silver could say no to Flint, in his reading glasses and half buttoned shirt, his hair pulled back in a messy bun so the well trimmed undercut was visible.

They got the groceries put away, the ingredients for dinner prepped and stowed in the fridge, the duck legs braising in the oven, and when Silver thought he’d finally be able to get Flint at least to the sofa to make out like twenty year olds, Flint instead asked him to follow him down to the garden.

He took Silver out to see where he left the food for the cats, no longer keeping up the old pretenses that he was keeping it secret. Three of the cats were lingering in the alley when they stepped out of the back gate, a big black bruiser of a cat with a clipped ear and a few scars on his muzzle. He didn’t like silver one bit but he went right up to Flint as if greeting an old and cherished friend. The other two were younger, long haired domestics Silver would’ve guessed.

“Those two are brothers I think,” Flint told him, as the one with a white belly and rusty brown spots came over to inspect Silver, the other with tabby markings watching warily. “They’re new, oddly friendly, which means they likely had a home first.”

“Poor things,” Silver murmured, letting the two cats inspect his hands. He noted that they didn’t have their ears tagged. “Are they much younger than the others?”

“Probably only a year or so old, I’d guess. I was waiting for them to get a bit bigger before trying to take them to a rescue, so they can get fixed and all their shots and stuff. I could trap them rather easily I think but the closest shelter is overwhelmed right now.”

Silver nodded, setting out a bowl of food for them to share. “This explains all those random scratches you keep coming home with,” he said flatly, relishing the way it made Flint laugh.

Half an hour passed and Bruiser, as Silver now called him, trotted off to do whatever it was stray cats did. The brothers were happily playing with each other, tumbling and rough housing down the alley.

“You know, I’m surprised you haven’t just…” Silver mulled over his words as he and Flint went back inside, pulling the garden gate closed behind him. He was too focused on Flint, and his own thoughts, to double check if the latch had caught properly.

“Brought them inside?” Flint offered.

“Yeah. I’ve only just met them and I find myself considering how to convince Thomas we should adopt them. Well, I dunno if Bruiser wants to be adopted but the others-“

Flint shrugged, leading the way up the back stairs to the deck that extended from the back of the kitchen, leaving the glass door cracked a little to let in the cooler evening air. “Between you and me, Bruiser is about a week away from being adopted by the little old lady on the next block. I was seeing him less and less and got worried but it turns out shes got a whole set up for him. I’m sure it won’t be long before she gets him inside and he refuses to leave. The others though… I dunno I guess I’ve always had strays and never an actual cat. We had them back in Padstow, and in Camden, in Manhattan, and even when I was stationed abroad. There were always strays.”

Silver considered him, following Flint into the kitchen and again perching himself on the bar. “You knew how to take care of strays but the concept of being their forever home scared you.”

It took a moment for Flint to reply. Silver watched him roll up his sleeves, tattoos vibrant in the golden hour light that filled the kitchen. He watched as he washed his hands, pulled out the prepared ingredients for the duck sauvage and rabe he was making, and set to work.

“I never felt stable enough to have a pet,” Flint said as he coated the pan in butter. “Not even when Thomas and I were first over in Manhattan, once he’d recovered from the accident, it just- there were too many risks, too many variables. We already had so much on our plate, between his recovery and the bar that any pet we did have wouldn’t get the attention it needed.”

He set the seasoned duck breasts in the pan and let them cook, stepping away to pour them each a glass of negroni from the pitcher he’d made the night before. “I refused to adopt an animal only to risk neglecting it. So, once we moved here I found the local ferals and the people with their own colonies and did what I could.”

Silver nodded, taking the drink and the soft kiss that came with it. “And now? Since you both seemed so settled here?”

Flint smiled fondly at him. “I was too busy making sure I could bring you home for good to think about pets.”

For an asshole, Flint really was an unbelievably sappy romantic.

Silver felt himself blushing, knew he must have been from the way Flint’s smile sharpened a little before stealing another kiss. “I suppose thats fair.”

They looked up at the sound of the front door and sure enough Thomas’ voice echoed down the hall. “I hope you two aren’t fucking without me again.”

“Do blow jobs count?” Silver called back as Flint flicked his ear, the sound of Thomas’ laughter preceding him.

“Whatever you’re cooking smells divine,” Thomas said, joining them in the kitchen. He looked tired, his carefully styled hair a bit ruffled from the wind and his fingers toying with it, his shoulders heavy with a full day of lectures so that he leaned more heavily on his ornate walking stick than he had that morning. Silver watched as he pulled Flint in for a kiss, noting the way his body began to relax and shed the stress.

“It’ll be ready in forty minutes, if you both can stop distracting me,” Flint teased, kissing his husband’s cheek before turning back to the stove. “How was your day?”

Thomas groaned, moving around Flint to greet Sliver with a kiss hello. “Don’t ask me that till I’ve had time to process it. Exam season approaches with it’s usual misery.” Silver managed to steal a few more progressively dirty kisses before Thomas pulled away with a hum. “Hello pet.”

“Evening Professor,” Silver replied sweetly, feeling a thrill at the way Thomas’ blue eyes darkened at the title. “Need some help freshening up before dinner?”

Thomas laughed, though he looked like he might be considering it, and took a sip of Silver’s drink. “No, no, best save that for after dinner. I’m just going to go wash up down the hall.”

Begrudgingly Silver let him go, moving to sit in one of the bar chairs so he could watch Flint cook more comfortably. For short time the kitchen was quiet, save for the sounds of food cooking and Flint occasionally muttering to himself.

Then, suddenly, they heard Thomas’ voice in the hall.

“Oh- oh my goodness hello precious! Oh hello just look at you-“

Flint looked up from the stove top with a frown that Silver returned. They listened a moment long as Thomas cooed and made soft little noises, the kind someone made when talking to a cat, for example.

There was a moment of silent realization as they stared at each other. The glass door to the deck was still open.

“Did you make sure the gate was closed?” Flint asked, already moving to clean his hands.

“In theory?” Silver replied, scrambling off his stool and out into the hall.

Thomas sat against the wall with the white and brown stray in his arms, the cat purring loudly and rubbing himself all over Thomas’ shirt. His brother was sniffing curiously at Thomas’ shoes, though upon seeing Silver, he trotted over to him with his long fluffy tail held high. Silver crouched down as best he could without his prosthetic, holding out his hand to the cat who greeted him happily.

“You didn’t tell me we were adopting kittens!” Thomas said in bewildered delight when Flint finally joined them, the poor man staring at his two partners in equal disbelief.

“Uhm.”

“They were curled up in the parlor! They woke up when I came in a suppose and they followed me over to the bathroom- where did you get them? They’re such angels oh my goodness-”

“It’s a bit of a story, actually.” Silver held back his laughter as the more skittish brother crawled into his lap, Flint’s face growing more and more overwhelmed, and more and more flushed as he watched.

“They’re uhm. Strays.” Flint finally managed to say. “From the neighborhood. I must’ve left the gate open, and the- the deck door was- they must've slipped in while I was cooking-”

“Oh you saint of a man,” Thomas said, getting carefully to his feet with an armful of cat. “Were you feeding them? Of course you were, thats a ridiculous question isn’t it. Have they had their shots? Oh we need to find a vet, schedule a visit. And they need baths, and a groomer too I imagine. Do we have enough food-” his voiced trailed off as he went back to the kitchen to search the cabinets.

Silver looked up at Flint with a fond smile.

“Guess I brought a few extra strays with me, huh?” he asked, holding out a hand so Flint could help him up.

It got him a weak laugh, Flint helping him carefully to his feet and greeting the cat in his arms. “Looks like it. Though I don’t think any of you are strays anymore, what with a home like this and all.”

Silver tried not to think too hard about the way his heart ached at Flint’s words, leaning in for a kiss instead. “Go finish dinner, I’ll help Thomas get these two washed up.”

The cat in his arms lifted his striped shaggy head and nuzzled into Flint’s beard a moment, as if to reassure him and Silver watched as any possible argument Flint might muster vanished in an instant.

“Good thing I bought that extra cat food, huh?”

#my fics #silverflinthamilton #@zacklover24 #jamie's fic prompt fills #john silver #james flint #thomas hamilton #this got really long because i got caught up in the idea of flint caring for strays and brooklyn has SO MANY STRAYS!!!! so like!!!!#thank you for this i loved writing it so much

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forevfangirlwrites · 3 years

Note

Okay so either a teacher AU, secret relationship AU, more actress Annabeth, or cheerleader Annabeth? I love all of your writing so really anything is amazing

Betting is not encouraged at Jupiter High but that doesn’t stop half the students from forming a pool.

“They hate each other,” Katie asserts, rolling her eyes at the Stolls’ nonsense.

“Or, and hear me out,” Travis holds up his hands, “they’re actually flirting with each other.”

“Who flirts by being mean? That’s ridiculous.”

Travis, looking taken aback by her outburst, rubs the back of his neck meekly. “Some people do…”

Katie rolls her eyes again and turns back to the math homework incidentally assigned by the subject of conversation.

Ms. Chase was one of the hardest teachers at the school, but damned if everyone that entered didn’t walk out with a comprehensive understanding of mathematics.

Silena Beauguard, a senior, who had hated every moment of the class the year before, now sang praises of Ms. Chase and just how easy Calc was now. The girl had even decided to get a math minor.

Katie’s not quite at that level yet, but there’s no time to dwell on it as the bell rings.

“I’m telling ya, you should get in on this,” Connor says. “Will bet twenty that they don’t actually hate each other but aren’t flirting either.”

“What kind of bet is that?”

Connor shrugs. “Don’t know, but it’s easy money.”

Shaking her head, she looks around in search of the other Stoll. Travis is lagging behind, suspiciously quiet, which usually means he’s planning some obnoxious prank on her.

“Travis, hurry up, we’re going to be late,” she urges against her better judgement.

Surprisingly though, he complies, and they make it to history with time to spare.

Mr. Jackson is the kind of teacher that encourages dressing up for a mock historical debate. But his energy is a bit contagious and makes the topics bearable.

He’s got a wide smile on his face today as he starts writing on the board, just as the second bell rings.

“Today,” he turns to address the class. “We’re going to be covering—“

A knock on the door interrupts him and everyone turns their attention to the front of the class.

Despite not getting along, the two teachers often interact with each other. Because standing at the door is none other than Ms. Chase.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she begins in a tone that doesn’t sound like she’s that sorry. “But Ka—”

She interrupts herself as her eyes land on the green letters on the board. “Are you talking about Hamilton? The musical?”

Mr. Jackson, keeping a very neutral face, responds, “Yes. There’s a lot to be learned from it.”

“Are you sure it’s not an excuse to just listen to a musical?”

The conversation is wholly civil with no undercurrent of anything in particular, but the whole class is watching in raptured silence.

“What brings you here Ms. Chase?” Mr. Jackson asks instead of replying.

“Katie.” Ms. Chase turns to the class. “You forgot your homework on the lunch table, I saw it when I was walking by.”

She takes two steps into the classroom as Katie, ears burning red, hastens to meet her. “And given that it’s for my class, I thought I’d return it,” Ms. Chase continues.

Katie mumbles a thank you as she accepts the paper, and hurries back to her seat, not wanting more eyes on her.

“How nice of you, Ms. Chase.” Mr. Jackson says. It’s a complete sentence but it feels like there’s things left unsaid as she turns back to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll let you get on with your class,” is all she says before stepping back out of the room. Mr. Jackson turns back to the board as Connor whispers to Travis.

“Dude, did you see? He was totally looking at her when she handed Katie her homework.”

Katie rolls her eyes. Of course, this bet business comes up again.

“But did you hear they way they were talking to each other,” Miranda whispers from behind her, evidently hearing the conversation. “They hate each other.”

Before Katie can shush all of them, Mr. Jackson turns back to the class.

“Anything I’m missing over there?”

Stifling a groan, she shakes her head. “Actually, Mr. Jackson,” Connor speaks up, immediately overriding her answer.

“We were wondering if you’ve ever seen Hamilton?”

Thankfully, Mr. Jackson is also the kind of teacher to cut some slack, because he responds.

“Yeah, we saw it last year and it’s an incredible stage performance.”

“We?” Connor asks again, in an all too innocent voice.

Any other teacher and he would have been reprimanded but Mr. Jackson looks too caught off guard by the question to even say anything.

“Yes…me and my…girlfriend.”

She will never forget the moment that the whole class collectively lost their shit.

A silent shift, but the bulged eyes say everything, and even Mr. Jackson looks uneasy at the way they are staring at him.

“Right, so let’s get back on track. Hamilton…”

And despite her best intentions to try to pay attention to what he’s saying, the note passing between the Stolls get the better of her as the betting pool started to crumble.

-.-

“Maybe she doesn’t know he has a girlfriend and that’s why she’s flirting?”

Travis nods thoughtfully. “But then why would he flirt back?”

“Guys, lets face it, they don’t like each other.” And with that she turns back to her locker, her final words on the matter.

“Don’t know about that Katie Kat,” Travis says, still contemplating how to interpret this news. He’s not the only one, the entire class burst into conversation as soon as the bell had rang and PE next period made it all too easy to continue talking.

“I agree,” Connor adds with a smirk. “You’re pretty bad at figuring out when people like each other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She turns angrily towards Connor, only to find him cackling. Travis remains, once again, suspiciously quiet. And once again, before she can think further on what that means, the bell rings.

Walking into math has never been so…charged before today. The entire class is buzzing when Ms. Chase claps for attention.

“Alright class, we’re going to pick up where we left off on—”

But it’s difficult for anyone to pay attention and even Ms. Chase stops in the middle of a formula to address the obvious tension.

“What’s going on with you all today?”

Suddenly the whole class is silent. Her sharp grey eyes scan the class before landing on Travis and Connor.

“Well boys, you always know what’s going on.” She waits for an answer.

“Well,” Travis starts (after a lot of nudging from Connor). “We found out that Mr. Jackson has a girlfriend.”

The surprise is evident on her face. It’s rare to see Ms. Chase look taken aback, but she composes herself quickly enough.

“Good for him, why does that matter to all of you? A teacher’s personal life is allowed to be private.”

One day Connor will stop himself from speaking without a filter. Today is, clearly, not that day.

“Have you met her?”

Ms. Chase is exactly the kind of teacher that would never let anything like this stand but by some miracle of the gods, she’s not only taken back for a second time, it’s enough for her to not actually reprimand him.

“I..uh..yes, I have, not that it should matter to you.” Her composure, however, is lost on the entire class that, for the second time in that day, collectively loses their shit.

“Quiet!” Ms. Chase is still commanding enough to get everyone to shut up though.

“What’s she like?” Some girl in the back asks.

“She’s fine, now that’s not the point of—”

A loud knock at the open door has everyone’s attention.

And of course, of all the teachers, Mr. Jackson is standing there with his arms crossed.

“She’s great actually,” he says loudly.

For the first time, Ms. Chase actually rolls her eyes at the words.

“It doesn’t matter, that should not be a topic of discussion.”

Mr. Jackson nods. “You’re right. But for the record, she’s great.” And with that he’s walking away again.

Ms. Chase actually rubs her face, letting out a huge sigh. She mutters something that Katie can’t make out.

“Okay, that’s enough, we’re getting through this formula now.”

She doesn’t know how they get through the class.

-.-

“Maybe—”

Katie cuts him off before he can say another word.

“Connor, please do not deposit another theory, I’ve heard like fifteen today.”

“Can you blame me? This is big news!”

She can’t, honestly. Despite her best efforts, she can’t stop thinking about it either. “No, I don’t blame you. I just can’t right now. Plus, I have a theory of my own I need to test.”

She shuts her locker and turns to her right. “Travis? Can I talk to you for a second?”

School’s out and most of the students have left, she’s only staying behind for Art Club and Travis and Connor usually chill with her for a bit before driving off. It’s been a long day, but she thinks she’s figured out at least one thing from all this chaos.

Connor immediately peaces out, walking down the hall as Travis looks nervously at her.

“What’s up?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

She can see a hint of red flushing is face. “I don’t—”

“I’m SO sorry to interrupt but you guys NEED to see this NOW!” Connor’s whisper yelling and beckoning them towards a classroom door.

Without even looking at her Travis immediately jogs to his brother, Katie following behind, shaking her head.

The door is only open a little bit, but it’s enough to hear what’s going on.

“I can’t let you shit talk my girlfriend!” Mr. Jackson’s voice is clearly recognizable.

“I didn’t shit talk and it was so not the time to bring that up.” Ms. Chase’s clear voice is also obvious.

“Okay maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I can’t let anyone say something bad about MY girlfriend.”

“I didn’t even say anything bad!”

“You said fine, FINE. Are you kidding me? That’s—”

“I think I should be allowed to say whatever I want.”

Katie looks over at Travis and Connor, both of whom are staring with wide eyes at the whole exchange. There’s no way she just said that.

“No.” Mr. Jackson’s voice sounds like a pout.

Ms. Chase sighs. “You’re so stubborn.”

“I have to be to date a goddess.”

There’s a small chuckle at the words. “You’re actually ridiculous.” Ms. Chase sounds unbelievably fond.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “But you still love me so I’m not gonna change.”

They can hear the smile in her voice when she responds. “I would never change you.”

“Even when I disrupt your class?”

There’s a beat of silence. “You’re lucky I love you.”

There’s another chuckle followed by more silence and Connor nods back in the direction of the hallway. They immediately run all the way down to her locker.

“NO FREAKING WAY!” Connor is leaning against the lockers as Katie automatically starts opening hers even though there’s nothing she needs to get from there.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

Connor looks at her. “What? Are you crazy?”

“Look, they clearly want to keep it private. We shouldn’t spill.”

Connor makes a face. “I mean it, Connor.”

“Ugh! Fine!” He turns towards Travis. “If you weren’t my brother, I would have kicked you for choosing someone with morals.”

And with that, he walks towards the doors.

It’s the last bit of confirmation she needs. She turns back to Travis who’s still nervously teetering close to her.

“So? Figure out if there’s anything you want to ask me yet?”

Travis makes a face. “You’re making fun of me!”

Smiling, she steps closer to him. “No, I’m not. I’m not mean to people I like.”

The sparkle in his eyes at her words makes her heart soar and she think she gets why Ms. Chase puts up with Mr. Jackson. It’s easy when the other person makes your heart flutter like that.

A/N: Hello! Thanks for the prompts! Another person also requested a teacher AU so I combined that request with yours and added some secret relationship in there! Told from an outside perspective but I hope you liked this!

#percy and annabeth #percabeth #percabeth fic #percabeth au #percabeth teacher au

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sweetaswithscottymac · 3 years

Text

ok back on my 2010 bullshit, this time for the british gp, round ten

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER RED BULL DRAMA

red bull: [takes away mark's new front wing to give it to seb]

also red bull: how DARE you accuse us of favouritism

an amazing start from mark to take the lead, and seb gets out of shape and then goes off at maggots and becketts and picks up a puncture from?? lewis's car somehow??? and is dead last by the end of the first lap. the drama of this season simply does not stop

vibes:

"respect yourselves and respect each other", per jake humphrey, is the line vettel and webber are getting at red bull, which sounds like advice you give teenagers about sex

wait apropos of absolutely nothing where tf is kimi raikkonen this season

anyway, webber and hamilton have raced off leaving the rest of the field for dead. hm lewis vs a red bull miles ahead of the rest of the pack 15 laps in.....where have i seen this before.......

alonso cuts a corner (admittedly he had nowhere else to go) and overtakes kubica but kubica retires a few laps later and alonso gets a drive through penalty which seems ridiculously harsh? he'll be steaming

aaaaaand then there's a safety car so he'll have to serve it after it comes in so he's going to be absolutely dead last

ok well the start of this race was very exciting but the rest of it hasn't been overly interesting. webber's untouchable today, and there's some decent action for p5-8ish, but. not the most gripping stuff

"i don't want any more radio today" alonso's not having it

ok seb charging through the field the last 20ish laps has been pretty cool to watch, that safety car helped him a lot. despite getting stuck behind sutil for ages, he's gonna finish p7, not bad from 24th after the first lap

also v good race from jenson for 4th from 14th

sjdgkln i forgot this was the "not bad for a number two driver" race. also christian says something like "maybe you'll smile now" to him on the radio in response, which is fucking rich lmao

mark and lewis are being very cute and chatty on the podium i have to say

podium: webber, hamilton, rosberg

championship standings after the race:

hamilton (145)

button (133)

webber (128)

vettel (121)

alonso (98)

the fucking narrative this season is putting together, you couldn't script it. the race itself wasn't overly exciting after the start, but it gets rights for all the surrounding drama, 6/10

#2010 rewatch #long post

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 3 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: grief and mentions of unhealthy coping, terminal illness and death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3: Virginian Spiderwort Means ‘Momentary Happiness’

“Eat lunch,” a sandwich along with a muffin and coffee was dropped on Alex’s desk, who jumped slightly in his seat and looked up.

“What?” he asked dumbly.

Thomas rolled his eyes: “You’ve been at it since six, I don’t even know why you were in that early that’s ridiculous, who comes in that early on a Thursday? And I haven’t seen you leave once. You need to eat, so eat, dumbass.”

“How do you know I started at six?”Alex asked.

“I didn’t, you send me an email around then, so I made a guess and you just confirmed it,” Thomas shrugged, ignoring Alex’s squawk, “Now eat.”

Alex picked up the lunch and started eating, while Thomas dropped into the chair opposite of him and watched him, sipping his own coffee.

“You’re just gonna sit there and watch me the entire time? Where is your lunch?”

“Already ate it and yes,” Thomas answered, “I know how this goes, you’ll come up with a good sentence and stop eating to write it down and then it’s a few hours later.”

Alex looked guilty and chastised, so he closed his laptop, which he had been staring at, and focused on Thomas: “So, how have you been?”

“That’s so awkward, I feel bad for us both,” Thomas cringed.

“Well, I’m sorry that I am not a great conversationalist,” Alex threw up his hands in defeat.

“According to Angie you are,” Thomas immediately regretted it, he didn’t want Alex to know he and Angelica talked about him.

“Yeah, but most of the time people I’m talking to aren’t you.” Fuck, was that too revealing? Did Thomas know he was struggling, because of stupid feelings?

“I’m sorry my face upsets you,” Thomas rolled his eyes, misinterpretingthe comment“Anyway, how did you get in so at six, I’m pretty sure schools don’t start that early. Where did you put Philip?”

“Oh, Pip is with Eliza and Maria for the week,” he said, “Eliza is so busy after the opening of the orphanage and they thought having a kid comfortable with them there would help the others get out of their shell and Pip had missed his Aunties. He’s staying till Wednesday.”

“And you decided that working abnormal amounts was smart when you got a bit of a break from your usual responsibilities?” Thomas judged, not so silently.

Alex grinned sheepishly and shrugged: “It’s what I do best, but I’m not being a complete dumbass, I leave a a somewhat normal time, I swear.”

“Hmmh.”

“I’m serious, I promised Angie I’d leave each day before six and she checks, it’s terrifying,” Alex shuddered and Thomas laughed: “Hear, hear.”

After that Alex quickly ate his lunch while they talked about the latest meeting, which lead to Alex complaining about Lee and Adams and how they could go fuck themselves.

When his lunch had completely disappeared, Thomas got up to leave. Before he could, however, Alex called out: “Hey, Thomas?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks again. For, you know, checking up on me,” he said awkwardly, “If you, like, ever need help or something, call me, okay?”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Thomas promised, not thinking the day he would take Alex up on it would come anytime soon.

He was wrong in that assessment, because that Monday he called Alex, hands shaking and eyes blurry.

“Thomas? What is it? I’m already at work.” Of course he was, it was only 6:15 in the morning, who wouldn’t be at work at that time.

“Can you-” a shuddery sigh that he hated, “Can you tell Wash- Washington that I’m not coming- coming in today?” he asked.

“God, Thomas, are you alright?” the worry was evident in Alex’s tone.

“Not really,” Thomas sounded small, “I didn’t want to bother you, but Jemmy is away and I normally can handle this stuff, but it was all unexpected and now I’m here on my fucking kitchen floor calling you. Fuck.”

“I’m coming to you.” Alex said.

“You don’t need to-”

“Yes, I do. Come on, I’m not leaving you like that. You’re getting a motherfucking patented Hamilton hug, live with it,” Alex told him, “I’ll be there as soon as I can, hang in there.”

“…Okay,” the line went dead.

Alex hurried to Washington’s office, for once grateful that the man liked to come in early on Monday’s to ‘kick off the week right’ or whatever.

“Come in.”

“Sir, I’m taking the day off,” Alex burst in, “Thomas is not coming in either, he just called me. I thought, I’d let you know.”

Washington looked surprised: “You and Thomas…?” he trailed off curiously.

“Nothing like that, sir,” sadly enough, he added mentally, “He helped me out in a rough spot and I’m returning the favor. We found we had something in common.”

“Well, then go. An honest man always returns his favors, son,” Washington shooed him out of the office.

“Not your son and thank you, sir,” Alex said gratefully, before rushing off.

The drive to Thomas’s, admittedly very impressive, house took about thirty minutes and Alex was out the car and on the driveway immediately as he practically ran to the door and knocked: “Hey, hey, Thomas. It’s me, open up.”

After a moment the door swung open, revealing a Thomas Alex had never seen before.

He was in sweatpants and a loose tank top, his eyes were red-rimmed and his hair a mess. But above all, he looked small, hunched in on himself and lacking the confidence and arrogance that usually clung to him like a second skin.

Alex didn’t waste a second gathering him up into his arms. It wasn’t as comforting as it could have been because Thomas was a fucking giant and therefore could not fit into Alex’s arms completely, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

Thomas clung to him tightly, chocked off sobs being ripped out of his chest as he cried.

They just stood there in the door opening. Alex couldn't really move Thomas around like the other had done him, so he just had to wait.

“Sorry,” Thomas said after a while, his voice raw as he broke away.

“No sorry, not today, okay?” Alex told him, “Now, why don’t we set you down on the couch, yeah? It’s more comfy and definitely better than the porch.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Thomas agreed and numbly walked over to a living room, Alex trailing behind him.

Thomas collapsed on the couch, looking like a miserable heap and Alex had to pause and think of a plan of attack. He’d been a Lieutenant Colonel, he could do this. First, he needed to know the situation.

He sat down next to Thomas: “Hey, dude, can you tell me what happened? You said it was unexpected, what hit you out of nowhere?”

“Phone,” Thomas gestured vaguely to the kitchen, then didn’t elaborate beyond a, “Got an email.”

Okay, not much information, but a lead.

Alex went to the kitchen, there was an uneaten bowl of soggy cereal on the counter and a phone on the floor. He threw the cereal away and toasted some bread before he picked up the phone and read the start of the email:

My dearest, Thomas

I hope the future finds you well. Yes, the future! I found this site in which you can write emails that will be send 10 years later, so I do hope you’re still using the same email address or this will be awkward.

You may be wondering why today? It’s not a particular date for us, but I’m writing you this email because I know I won’t be there when you read it.

I had another attack today, but you know that of course, though maybe you’ve forgotten all the attacks through the years. We’ve been doing this for over three years already and I know I have not been writing the dates down.

But none of that now, this was supposed to be a pick-you-up, because I love you, dearest.

Alex stopped reading, this was not for his eyes. He quickly did the math. Thomas had said she’d died seven years ago, this was written ten years ago, so they still had three years together at this point.

God, he couldn't imagine what it was like to know your lover was dying and you could do nothing to stop it, just prepare for the inevitable.

The toast popped out the toaster and Alex locked the phone, before putting the toast on a plate and getting a glass of water. He walked back to the living room and handed Thomas the food as he gently said: “Come on, you can’t be sad on an empty stomach.”

That got a small amused huff from the Virginian, which Alex counted as a win.

He ate slowly and in silence and Alex just waited for him to gather himself. This was not a date on where you expected the missing to hit, there were no fun rituals – like on a birthday – to keep or something to celebrate or commemorate.

Just sadness.

Sudden sadness.

Alex looked at Thomas, who softly chewed on his toast. He didn’t think dragging Thomas outside today would be good for him. He needed time to process the message, to think of what his late wife wanted him to know for when she wasn’t there.

He now regretted not reading the rest of the message, just so that he could have a grip on Thomas’s thoughts, but he knew it had been the right thing to do.

When the plate was empty and the glass gone, Alex announced: “Okay, we’re having a sad couch day, but you need to tell me how to operate your TV and where you keep blankets, because you need a blanket nest to be sad in, alright.”

Thomas blinked at him owlishly for a moment, then shook his head with muted amusement and whispered: “TV is just normal and there is a guestroom, second door upstairs, I keep the blankets there.”

“Good,” Alex got up, “Are you alright for a moment?”

The other only nodded. Alex didn’t like how quiet Thomas was. He might not be the loudest person, but there would always be a presence hanging around him that made him feel like the loudest person in the room and that was now completely gone.

Alex rushed through the house, dropping of the plate and glass in the kitchen and putting on the kettle, before taking the stairs two steps at a time.

At times like these he was happy he had top surgery, because catching your breath with a binder on fucking sucked and running overall was a bad idea.

The guest room was less extravagant than he’d expected. It was decked out for comfort and stylish, but it wasn’t over the top. Actually the whole house was more stylish than expensive just for the sake of being expensive, something Alex hadn’t realized before.

Of course, the only befores there had been were company parties that Thomas had offered to host wherein he showed off on purpose.

Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen pictures during those parties either.

He grabbed the blankets and some pillows from the guest room and went back downstairs carefully, he didn’t want to trip or drop the blankets, but he also just wanted to be nosy.

The walls were still void of pictures.

It tugged at Alex’s heart, his own walls had been bare before he’d met John and all his other friends and they’d filled it up over the years of happy moments, but Thomas had nothing. Though he didn’t have time to dwell on it now, he had more important matters to attend to.

Thomas was still in the same position he’d left him in, staring at the still turned off TV. Alex dropped the blankets on the floor, only scooping one out of the pile to drape over Thomas’s shoulders, before finishing the tea.

How strange, he mused as he made the tea, me and Thomas are neither tea drinkers, except on days like these, except with each other.

He walked back to Thomas and handed him the mug, relieved when the other took it gratefully and let the steam warm his face as he burrowed into the blanket slightly.

Alex was still concerned about the hunched over position, which was rich coming from him, he knew, but getting lost in work and fucking up your posture was different than getting lost in grief and fucking up your posture.

So, he gently pushed Thomas back into the pillow of the couch and Thomas went easily. For all the man could fight him on every little thing at work, he wasn’t putting up a fight now and Alex was glad for that fact, even if it was slightly disturbing.

Taking the blankets, he draped them over Thomas and himself after he’d grabbed the remote and put on a nature documentary.

Thomas gave him a bemused look and Alex was never more relieved that Thomas was judging him, anything was better than that empty look in those usually lively eyes.

“It’s soothing,” he shrugged, “and low effort.”

“Fair,” Thomas nodded, his voice hoarse and raw, making Alex regret not putting honey into his tea, because it sounded like it hurt.

They sat in silence as they watched a frog hop over a leaf while the narrator told them slightly horrifying facts about the creature in a monotone voice.

After about an hour of animal facts and nature relations, Thomas spoke up: “She asked me if I had any kids yet.”

Alex looked up, but didn’t speak, just let Thomas figure it out.

“We wanted kids, I think maybe me more than her to be honest, though she loved being an aunt,” he went on, “But with her condition, well, pregnancy was just too risky and when we knew just how serious it was… Neither of us wanted to make an adopted child go through losing a parent again, so we never had kids.”

He took a shuddery breath: “And then she asked if I had them, she hoped I found that and I don’t know-”

Tears were falling again and without thinking Alex pulled Thomas into his side and Thomas didn’t protest as he burrowed his head closer. He whispered: “I always knew she wanted me to move on from her, live a good life, but hearing it again after having time to process her being gone. It’s- it’s different.”

Alex just ran a soothing hand over Thomas’s back as he thought about that. After a second he slowly said: “Knowing and accepting are different things and sometimes one is harder than the other.”

Thomas mulled over his words, then said: “Well, I hate accepting.”

He didn’t tell Thomas that moving on was good, that it was healthy. Both of them knew that well enough, they must have heard it a thousand times from concerned friends. It was always meant well, but sometimes you just didn’t want to hear it, not in moments like these.

“She told me she had something to say to me, but she didn’t know what just yet and that she had to think about it and tell me when she figured it out, because she still had time,” Thomas broke the silence again.

“That- that must be hard to read,” Alex told him.

The other nodded into his side, then said: “I think I know what it is though…”

“Do you want to share?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, she- I never realized this, but she started telling me how I would do great things and I better have a picture of her with me so that she could see it. I keep her in my wallet. I always thought she meant in the world. Big responsibility to have on my shoulders, but I tried. For her.”

Thomas fiddled with the blanket, he wasn’t looking at Alex, but he seemed content to curl up in the shorter man’s side.

“But I’m suddenly startingto think that’s not what she meant,” the words sounded small and Alex’s chest constricted painfully. He didn’t know how he would react if something he’d believed about John for years would be ripped out from under him one day without warning.

“What do you think she meant?” he asked, trying to keep Thomas talking, maybe if he said it out loud it would make more sense than when it swirled around in his head.

“I- I think she meant that I would- ugh- it’s- you had to-”

“Take your time.”

“She was always telling me about the great things in life, but she loved The Lord of the Rings, those books and movieskept her company throughout all the hospital visits. Her favorite quote was: ‘Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that’s not what I found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay’,” he explained.

There was a moment of silence in which Thomas hesitated.

“It might be stupid, but I think she subconsciously absorbed that. That for her the great things were the small things,” Thomas said, “I once took her on a simple picnic and she said it was the greatest day of her life.”

Alex nodded along, he could already see where this was going, but he let Thomas set the pace of the conversation.

“I think she meant that I would get to do all the little things that made life great, have all the milestones we never got to have, but she phrased it in her own Martha-esque way,” there was a smile in his voice as he said that.

“Did she always have her own way of saying things?” Alex asked, hoping to keep whatever was bringing that smile to Thomas’s face going.

“Yeah,” a success, “she read a lot and she listened to a lot of music. She played guitar, wrote her own lyrics too. She was great with words, much better than me. I think she just consumed so many ways people expressed themselves through words that she had her own dialect. It was completely English, but just slightly different. It’s hard to explain.”

“I get it,” Alex assured him, “She sounds wonderful.”

“Oh, you would have liked her,” Thomas said, sounding strangely proud of that fact, “She took the time to make fun of my magenta suits in her email to me,” Alex snorted at that, “And you both take no shit and it’s easy to talk to you.”

Alex was shocked at that, no one told him he was easy to talk to. He had opinions and would let you know immediately, making you debate if you disagreed with him. Sure, he could be charming, but he made you think when you talked. It wasn’t easy.

He said nothing.

“Apparently she wrote it while I was next to her,” Thomas suddenly said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was asleep in a chair. It was after one of her attacks, I think I remember this one, because it suddenly got way more serious after that, it was the heaviest we had in months,” his voice trailed off into a whisper, “We’d thought she was doing better.”

God, Alex couldn't imagine and that voice felt like a punch in the gut, his arm reflectively tightening around Thomas.

“Fuck, in the email she said she still has time,” Thomas breathed, “I know it was still a while after that before she- she died, but- God, it fucking hurts, Alex. We knew we didn’t have forever, but reaching thirty would have been fucking nice.”

There was that all familiar anger at what could have been if faith hadn’t decided to be so cruel. Alex knew it oh so well and just watched as Thomas clenched his fist, but didn’t get up. The anger drained out of him almost as quickly as it had come and his heaving breaths turned into sobs.

And if that wasn’t familiar as well.

Alex quickly brought up the other arm and pulled Thomas into a hug. They were cocooned in blankets and cuddling on the couch and it should be weird, but it just wasn’t.

It seemed Thomas was done talking now, because he stayed silent as the time dragged on. Once Alex realized he wasn’t going to talk, he started humming. Alex had never done well with quiet, though he didn’t mind that much, but he more thought it would nice for Thomas to have something other than his thoughts to focus on.

They sat there until their stomachs decided it really was time for lunch. Alex offered to make it so that Thomas could stay seated, but while Thomas gratefully accepted his offer to make lunch, he followed him into his kitchen and sat at the table.

His eyes fell on the phone that Alex had left on the counter when he had made them tea. His fingers twitched, but he didn’t move any further than that, conflicted look on his face. Alex let him figure it out on his own and just focused on making French toast.

In the end he picked up the phone and stared at it for a moment, before putting it down on the table, screen down.

He pushed the French toast around his plate for a while, Alex didn’t say a thing, just watched him patiently. If Thomas didn’t want to eat that would be bad, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world for just a day.

It might be bad for Alex to let Thomas indulge in bad habits, but he promised himself he would make sure it was a one of thing. He managed to make sure Philip ate and slept enough despite his own inability to take care of himself, he could do the same for Thomas.

Thomas ate a few bites, it was hard to pretend to care about food right now, but Alex had tried and he knew Martha would hate him neglecting himself.

God, Martha and her stupid- No, he couldn't think that, she meant so well, but it just hurt. She should have told him.

Though that might have been worse.

He looked at his phone again, uncertainty creeping in. Would Alex think it was a bad idea to read the email again? He just wanted to know if he hadn’t imagined it. He hadn’t really committed it to his memory like all her other writings through the tears, but he doubted he would be able to read it without crying all over again.

An idea suddenly came to mind. It was a stupid idea, but Alex had seen him suggest multiple stupid ideas so it wasn’t anything new.

“Can you read it to me?” the words were out before he even realized.

“What?”

“The email,” he clarified, “Can you read it to me?”

“You’d want that?” Alex seemed unsure and Thomas could feel the doubt creeping in.

He shook it off, he’d made up his mind: “Yes, I just want to know the whole thing, but I can’t really read it, because I’ll start crying, so you have to.”

Alex hesitated for a moment: “Alright, if you’re sure…”

“I am.” Thomas unlocked the phone and handed it to Alex, trying to ignore how his hand shook slightly.

After a deep breath, Alex started:

“My dearest, Thomas

You may be wondering why today? It’s not a particular date for us, but I’m writing you this email because I know I won’t be there when you read it.

But none of that now, this was supposed to be a pick-you-up, because I love you, dearest.

I know I tell you all the time, but maybe you haven’t heard this in a while by now, so I’m telling you again. I love you so incredibly much and you deserve all the love in the world and I hope you have someone to remind you.

It might seem strange for your wife to hope you have found love again, but I truly do hope you went on to live a happy life with people who love you and make you happy.

God, maybe you’ll have kids.

If you do, tell them that their Aunt Martha is watching over them from the stars. I promise to guide their little feet home to you safely and sing them lullabies when they’re having a nightmare, just a song between them and the moon.

I don’t want my passing to be the end for you. I have seen your soul and I know there is so much in store for you, I just can’t place my finger on what, but I still have time to figure it out and I’ll tell you when I do.

Now that I’m writing this, I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I thought I would have a hundred pages ready for you, but I don’t.

You know that moment when you have dinner with someone, but you’ve been with each other the whole day, so you can’t ask them how their day has been? It’s kind of like that.

I have seen you the entire day today and if I hadn’t I can tell you in person in a bit, but by the time you’re reading this, you’ve had time to make new memories without me and you can only tell them to my grave or my picture.

This is so morbid. Sorry, dearest.

I could take more time to think about what I want to write you, but I have this strong urge to finish it now. It’s almost like I’m running out of time. I am, in a way. But I still have tomorrow, the doctors said I’ll make it through the night with no problem and I’ll be discharged tomorrow. They say I have a good chance at a few more years and by God I hope they’re right.

It’s ironic how you’re asleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair by my side as I’m writing this.

You stress too much. It makes you look old. I know I’ve always joked about you being an old man, but you don’t have to make it a reality by aging from the stress.

I hope the creases by your eyes become more pronounced than the ones on your forehead. I hope so many things for you and I hate that I can never give you all the care you’ve given me.

You’re a good man, Thomas. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I know you worry. You worry too much, just like the stress. Just promise me you won’t give in to all the doubt you create for yourself. Appearances aren’t everything, I know you care about style (the magenta suits are really taking it a bit too far, you are lucky I love you, you ridiculous man), but try comfort every once in a while as well, okay?

Now, I’m sounding like my mother, God this whole email has gotten out of hand…

Not that I had much of a plan to start with. I saw this and just had to write to you, to tell you how worthy you are and how much I wanted to have a forever with you.

It feels rude in a way to write you like this, you might have moved on, created a new life and I’m disrupting it from beyond, but I know you, Thomas, I know you so well that it hurts sometimes and I also know that you have a hard time letting go.

I hope you have that life we could never have.

I hope you’ve found a job that makes you happy, with a spouse that cares for you and a picket white fence that America tries to sell in every movie with a happy ending.

But I fear that you got stuck on us, on me.

And while I am flattered if that is the case (and not bitter if it isn’t, God I’m so happy for you if I’m wrong, dearest), then I want you to know it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to live.

God, this is one depressing sappy mess.

But we’re both kind of sappy depressing messes, aren’t we? You brought me flowers to the hospital today, you remembered my favorites are Virginian Spiderworts. Did you know they mean ‘momentary happiness’?

Momentary happiness, like I said: depressingly sappy.

I don’t know if I told you the meaning, but it is an interesting bouquet to bring to a hospital bed of someone terminally ill, you know? And I love you for it. Never change, Thomas, never change. Stay my sweet little dork, I beg you. If someone tries to change you, tell em no or I will come beat them up for you.

I will forever protect you, I promise.

I think this is good and if it isn’t you won’t really get to leave a review, so I’ll be safe either way. So, this is it, this is goodbye, for now at least. I still have the luxury of giving you a hug when you wake up and I’m gonna keep doing that till the end.

Stay strong, I love you,

Martha, your beloved wife”

In the end they were both crying and Alex was impressed with himself that he had managed to make it to the end. The email gave him more questions about Thomas, but he it wasn’t really the time to ask about his late wife’s protectiveness.

He cleared his throat after a moment and said: “Martha was amazing.”

That got him a surprised chuckle as Thomas’s breathing started to become more regular. He swallowed and agreed: “God, she was.”

“Tell me more about her,” Alex requested. He remembered how nice it had been to tell Thomas about John and he found himself curious about the woman that had enchanted Thomas.

“She was the most intelligent woman I’ve ever met, and I know Angelica,” Thomas started, Alex let out a small amused huff, “Martha- Martha was the kind of person you had to look at, you know? When she walked into a room, it got brighter.”

Thomas perked up considerably when talking about Martha. He was still slightly curled into himself on the kitchen chair, but he was at least making eye contact with Alex.

“I used to be overly anxious – still am, but I’m managing – and she was always there for me when I needed it. She was a spitfire, she talked when I couldn’t and stood up for me,” Thomas confessed, “I try to embody her when I need to make a presentation.”

Alex was taken aback by it: “I didn’t know you got anxious.”

“It’s better when arguing with you, I have to think too hard on how to counter you to think about stressing,” Thomas tossed out casually, immediately hoping that wasn’t too revealing, he’d already compared the man with Martha once today.

But Alex just smiled happily, though it seemed unconscious to Thomas’s eye.

“Martha never argued with me like you do, though,” Thomas mused trying to save himself, “She would just roll her eyes at me whenever I did something she found unnecessary.”

“Like what?” Alex raised a brow with amusement.

There was probably too much glee in the man’s eyes for the question to be innocent, but Thomas didn’t care: “Well there was one time a lady stopped me on the street and she asked if I did a lot of desk work, which I did, so I said yes. Then she asked me if it made my back hurt-”

“Naturally also yes,” Alex nodded.

“Indeed, so then she asked me if she could touch me and at this point I’m scared, but too far in to say no,” Thomas tells him, “So she just put her hand on my back and starts praying.”

“She blessed you?” Alex sounded delighted and disbelieving.

“Yes and I did not want to be there. So, I was sending Martha ‘come help me, please’-looks, but she just shook her head and watched me. I think she would have stepped in, if she didn’t think it hilarious,” Thomas rolled his eyes fondly, “She always asked me if I felt blessed whenever we visited a church afterwards.”

“That is hilarious,” Alex giggled at the story and Thomas felt a strange sort of pride that he made Alex giggle like that. He’d heard the other laugh before, but never giggle. It was a light sound that eased some of the pain in Thomas’s chest.

He smiled at Alex and admitted: “Maybe in hindsight it was.”

There was a natural pause in their conversation, until Alex asked: “How are you feeling?”

Thomas thought about it for a moment. The ache he’d felt in his chest when he had seen the email that morning had dulled. It was still sharper than on most days, but it didn’t feel as overwhelming and never ending as it had done.

“Better,” he answered honestly.

“That’s good to hear,” Alex said, “Do you want to go back to the couch and watch a movie? This time I’ll even let you pick.”

“Sure,” Thomas agreed easily.

“Great, do you have popcorn or something?” Alex asked, already moving around in his kitchen to check the cabinets, not even waiting for an answer.

“Upper left,” Thomas said after a while of watching Alex struggle to find it.

Alex looked up to the shelf, then back at Thomas, before he huffed: “This is just discrimination against short people.”

Thomas laughed, before getting up to grab the popcorn.

They stayed on the couch for the rest of the day, Thomas leaning into Alex’s side, neither of them caring.

For dinner Thomas made Mac-’N-Cheese and they ate while having a passionate discussion about whether the characters in the horror movie they’d watched had made the right decisions.

When Alex said he was going home, Thomas felt kind of sad about it.

“Goodbye, Alex. I- Thank you. For coming. You didn’t have to do that, but it was nice, so thanks,” he said awkwardly.

“Hey, anytime,” Alex smiled, “Besides, it was the least I could after what you did for me and-” he hesitated, “and you’re actually not that bad of a company now I know you better, so-” he shrugged, “did it with pleasure.”

Thomas smiled, it was genuine and crinkled his eyes in the way Martha had adored. He didn’t know Alex melted at the sight too.

“You’re not that bad either, Alex,” he said softly.

“Well, I see you at work,” Alex cleared his throat and stepped away then he looked back and added, “Don’t come in if you’re feeling shitty tomorrow, okay.”

“I won’t,” and Thomas found it wasn’t a lie.

Again, this is not a guide on how to deal with grief, for the love of god don’t take advise from fics. I have tried my best to make it not shit and somewhat accurate, but I can promise nothing.

I debated posting the letter separate of the fic, but it’s important to the fic and the chapter title, so I kept it like this even if it’s a bit clunky. I only decided here to make the flowers important and I thought it very descriptive of their realtions, since both knew it would end sooner than later, no matter how happy they got to be during their time together.

Also, the blessing thing actually happened to me, slightly different, but it happened. And no, I do not feel blessed and yes it was awkward and none of my friends came to my rescue.

#RR writing #tw: grief #Hamilton #Hamilton AU #alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson #george washington #Martha Wayles Jefferson mentioned #Jamilton #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 3 #'Till Death Do Us Part AU

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duhragonball · 3 years

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So, Terminator 3. T2 was such a huge hit that everyone just assumed a third movie was a given, but it took twelve years for it to finally happen. The Wikipedia article has a section about the delay, but it’s really long and complicated, and I’m not that interested anymore. The main takeaway is that James Cameron, who directed the first two movies, wasn’t involved in the making of T3. Apparently, he really wanted to do it in 1995, but by the time the rights and everything got squared away, he got busy doing Titanic and Avatar or whatever else, and he decided that he’d already told the story he wanted to tell in the first two movies. But he did tell Arnold Schwarzenegger to go for it if he got an offer.

I guess the reason I’m explaining all of this was because I always thought Cameron did make T3, and the reason Linda Hamilton wasn’t in it was because of hard feelings over their divorce in 1999. Which sounds kind of dumb now that I type it out. A fan would think that, because they see actors appearing or not appearing in movies as the ultimate sanction, but for them it’s strictly business. Arnold was in T3 because they paid him $30 million, not because he desperately wanted to play the character again. According to the Wikipedia article, Hamilton wasn’t in the movie because there just wasn’t much they could do with Sarah Connor in the story. Her role was to prepare John Connor for his own role. This movie features him as an adult, so there’s nothing more for her to do. Hamilton recognized this, and declined to participate.

I think T3 had a lot going against it, because it had so much to live up to, and fans of T2 had been waiting so long. I think everyone wanted the T3 movie James Cameron might have made in 1995, but what they got in 2003 was this movie, which didn’t quite live up to the hype. I’m not sure anything else could have lived up to the hype, though. T2 had some mighty big shoes to fill.

The big problem is that it’s basically the same plot structure as T2. Two more Terminators come from the future and they fight over the life of John Connor. After escaping the bad Terminator, John tries to stop Skynet from taking over and nuking humanity, and they end up having a final showdown with the bad Terminator along the way. It really is the same movie in a lot of ways, so it just begs to be compared to T2, which only magnifies its flaws.

The main difference is that John thought he already stopped Skynet years ago, so he’s horrified to learn that he only postponed the inevitable. He goes to a lot of trouble to try again, but the audience probably already anticipates that this won’t work. T2 was ambiguous about this, but T3 actually shows the nuclear missiles launching and destroying their targets. So it’s kind of a downer to watch. We even learn that Future John will die in 2032, because the good Terminator in this movie was the one who kills him, before he got reprogrammed to protect Present John.

The other difference is the addition of Kate Brewster, who’s fated to become John’s second-in-command and wife. The bad Terminator was actually sent to kill her and other would-be Resistance leaders, until it discovers John and changes priorities. Future Kate is also the one who sends the good Terminator back in time. I never fully understood Kate’s purpose in the movie, since she’s basically a spare John, but I think they needed a viewpoint character. In T1, Sarah was the viewpoint character, then it was John in T2. But in T3, Sarah’s dead and John already knows all about this stuff, so there needed to be a new character with a special destiny. The trouble is that I don’t think Kate gets a chance to digest this very well, probably because we’ve already covered this twice before already.

I think this is the movie where the time travel stuff really went off the rails. T1 was very consistent about establishing a predestination paradox. T2 hinted that the future could be changed, but never made it clear whether it actually changed or not. The value was in the attempt, not the result. But the T-850 tells John that “Judgement Day is inevitable”, and that he only postponed it from its original date in 1997. So they managed to change the future, just not enough. Fair, but how does the T-850 know this? Shouldn’t he be from the same altered future, where Judgement Day happened in 2003?

Also, this movie introduces more Terminator varieties. In the first movie, the T-800 is stated to be new in the future. Then in the second movie, the T-800 admits that the T-1000 is much more sophisticated, because it’s an “advanced prototype.” In this movie, the T-850 claims to be obsolete, and says the T-X is much more advanced. So it sounds like Skynet was busily inventing better Terminators for these missions, except it shouldn’t have had time for that. It lost the war and had to use the time machine as a last-ditch effort. It’s weird enough that it used the time machine three times, but it shouldn’t have had years to do this. The Human Resistance captured the time machine shortly after winning the war, right? I really hope T4 explains some of this.

Roger Ebert called this movie “Essentially one long chase and fight, punctuated by comic, campy or simplistic dialogue." The first 24 minutes are fairly dull, but once it gets rolling, it’s pretty fun to watch. But he’s right. When I watched all the DBZ movies in 2019, I realized that Movie 7 is just one big fight scene, with some slice of life stuff at the beginning to set things up. T3′s basically the same, with very little else to occupy its time. T1 had the relationship between Sarah and Kyle, and T2 had Sarah’s hangups and John’s bonding with “Uncle Bob”. T3 really only has Kate and John hanging on for dear life as their protector drags them through the story. It’s a fun chase, with lots of guns and explosions and breaking stuff, but there’s not much more to it.

So what’s good about this movie? What makes it really stand out? Well, for openers, the T-X is pretty cool. The T-1000 was going to be difficult to top, and I don’t think the T-X ever succeeded, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. She has liquid metal on top of an endoskeleton, so she can disguise herself, but she can’t seep under doors and stuff like that. Also, she has weapons built into her body, so she’s the only time traveler who could actually bring future weapons with her into the past. Also, she can control machines, like when she hijacks a bunch of police cars and fire trucks to help her chase down John. She’s ridiculously overpowered, and she does not give a fuck who knows it. The previous Terminators at least attempted to keep a low profile, revealing themselves only when ready to attack, but the T-X just wreaks havoc all over the place. She’s not worried about the authorities or a lack of firepower, or anything at all, so she’s free to execute her mission with reckless abandon.

Second, I take some solace in John Connors personal crisis in this movie. He was kind of chill about the whole thing in T2, because he got his mom back and he had a cool robot pal, and they seemed to have the whole Skynet problem figured out. In this movie, Sarah’s dead, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He can’t quite believe that Judgement Day won’t come, so he lives off the grid and tries to avoid everyone. He doesn’t want the Future War to happen, but at the same time, his life has no purpose without it. Later, he becomes despondent and says that he must not be the chosen one after all, because he’s no leader and he never was.

Except, he is, and he has to be, and he becomes one at the end of the movie, when he finally accepts his fate. There’s something very powerful about the shot of Kate holding his hand as he prepares to give orders to the other survivors on the radio. They’re stuck in this dark future now, and they have to see it through together.

I think, whenever I watched these movies before, that I never really “got” John Connor as a character. In T2 he was a kid, so I just wrote him off. He wasn’t John Connor yet, so it didn’t matter much. In T3, he seemed extremely pathetic, and I took his lack of confidence at face value. I thought he really wasn’t ready to lead, and he only ended up in that role by default. But this time around, I see how in T2 he was the moral center of the good guy team. Sarah was lashing out at everyone and the Terminator only cared about mission objectives, but John kept reminding everyone of the value of human life, and what they were all fighting for. Even as a kid, he got “it” in a way that others didn’t. In T3, he’s demoralized, but he still knows how to do this stuff, and how to lead. He just doesn’t feel motivated until the final act of the movie.

That didn’t stick with me when I first saw this movie in ‘03, but I’m older now, and less sure of myself than I used to be, and all the validation I get feels hollow and unconvincing. Like John, I may be aware that I have the capacity to do things, but it doesn’t always feel like it’s enough. That’s what T3 has that T2 doesn’t. It’s that crisis of confidence that separates the two films, although it’s subtle enough that it’s easy to overlook.

#mike watches the terminator

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hamiltonimagines · 4 years

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Late Night Celebrations

Pairing: Jasmine x Reader

Request: “hi if your requests are still open i was wondering if you could possibly write a fluffy jasmine cephas jones x reader fic. maybe it’s them celebrating her emmy win just fluff cause i’m so proud of her for winning an emmy. she deserved it 🤍 thank you” @disneykid125

Word Count: 1k

“So you aren’t even a little curious?” I asked Jasmine, my girlfriend of three years. “Come on Y/N, let’s me real. There’s no way I’m going to win an Emmy. It was super cool to be nominated, but I’m not gonna win” she told me.

“Well I disagree, I think you’re the most talented person I know. As far as I’m concerned, you could win all the Emmys” I told her, kissing her cheek. “You’re my girlfriend, you have to be supportive, it’s like your job” she said, giggling.

“I mean it though, you are crazy, ridiculously talented Jasmine. You don’t even want to turn the Emmys on, near the time they’re announcing your award?” I asked, double-checking.

“It’s a waste of time, we’ll get our hopes up and then be disappointed. Or, we could just watch the Wizard of Oz, like we planned” she said, persuasively. “Fine, we won’t watch the Emmys. But, when you win I get to say I told you so” I bargained. “Okay deal, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up” she said, as she grabbed the tv remote.

She put on the Wizard of Oz movie. I cuddled up into her side and we started to watch the movie. I felt Jasmine start stroking my hair as the movie went on.

Then we were about 45 minutes in and Jasmine’s phone started to ring. She paused it and groaned. “Hang on, it’s my dad” she said, picking up the phone.

“Hey dad, what’s up?” She asked him. I heard him start to say something, I couldn’t tell what it was though. I saw Jasmine’s eyes light up. I had known Jasmine for so long, I could tell that that face meant she was shocked about something really exciting.

“Wait really? Please tell me you aren’t kidding” she said, sounding giddy. “What is it?” I said poking her side, like a toddler.

She pushed my hand away and shushed me. “I can’t believe this, this is amazing. Thank you so much for telling me! I’ll call you tomorrow and we can talk more” she said, excitedly and then hung up the phone.

“Well?” I asked her, impatiently. “Well my dad and I may or may not be the first father-daughter duo to win Emmys in the same year” Jasmine said, excitedly.

“Shut up! You won? I can’t believe this, this is so amazing. I knew that you could do this baby” I said, jumping up off the couch and pulled her into a hug. I kept kissing her temple.

We both started jumping around. “I can’t believe this, this is cloud nine” Jasmine said, as I spun her in a circle. “I am so proud of you” I said, smiling. “I can’t believe that I actually won, I am an Emmy winner. That still doesn’t feel real” she said, with the biggest smile on her face.

“We have to celebrate. Let’s eat some ice cream and have a dance party” I said, still excited. “Deal. I love you” she said, leaning in and pecking my lips. “My baby’s an Emmy winner” I said, as I practically skipped to the kitchen.

I started scooping some ice cream into bowls, then Jasmine walked in the kitchen behind me. “So how’s it feel to be an Emmy winner?” I asked her. “Well it’s been about five minutes and you’re already pampering me and making me ice cream. So I'd say it’s going pretty good so far” she said, smiling.

“Oh shush, I always pamper you. Now, can you grab the whipped cream please?” I asked her. “Yep” she said, as she grabbed it from the fridge. She held it out and I went to grab it and she pulled it away from my hand. “What the heck love?” I asked, confused. Then, she quickly took the lid off and sprayed some on my nose.

She started giggling to herself. “Oh you think this is funny?” I asked her, as I wiped the whipped cream off of my face. “Yeah, it’s pretty funny” she said, still giggling.

I took the whipped cream out of her hand and sprayed some on her nose.

“Is that anyway to treat an Emmy winner?” She asked, teasing me. “You win one Emmy and the fame goes right to your head” I pretended to scoff. Jasmine laughed and grabbed a napkin to wipe it off of her nose.

“You love me and you know it” Jasmine said, giggling. “Yeah, well you’ve got that right” I said, in awe of Jasmine. “One ice cream for the Emmy winner” I said, handing Jasmine a bowl.

“Thank you love, now I believe I was promised a dance party” she said, smiling. We walked back into the living room and I turned on our dance playlist.

While Jasmine wasn’t watching, I took a quick photo of her dancing. She had the biggest smile on her face, and she just looked so happy and she deserved it.

Then we both heard her phone start to ring. She grabbed it out of her pocket and frowned when she saw it. “It’s Pippa, I have to answer it. I promise it’s back to the dance party as soon as I’m done” she told me.

“Answer it, it’s fine” I assured her. I finished my ice cream and put both our bowls in the sink. I came back in the room and she was hanging up the phone. Before I could turn the music back on, her phone started to ring again.

Jasmine had a look of dread on her face. “Go go, I promise it’s okay. You won an Emmy! That’s a big deal, and all our friends want to congratulate you. Enjoy it!” I told her. “Okay fine, I’ll make it up to you though” she replied.

I pulled out my phone and posted the picture I had taken of Jasmine, with the caption: To the recent winner of an Emmy award, I am so happy for you love! You deserve this award so much more than you know, and I am so proud of you! This is an amazing accomplishment, and I know this isn’t the last the world will see of Jasmine Cephas-Jones. This smile that’s been on your face all night is priceless. I love you so much Jas

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