NO I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT THIS MAN AND HOW FOND HE IS OF HIS DAUGHTER

LOOK AT HIS FACE

LOOK AT HOW HIS EXPRESSIONS OF HORROR JUST MELTS INTO ADORATION FOR HIS DAUGHTER

Gotta love the comments where a person is like: "not to detract from the current super important and politically charged topic buuuuut *inserts something that is completely off topic and nitpicky as fuck that lasts for ten miles down the comments* "but yeah i dont want to derail anything lol"

And im just sitting here trying to find a shred of hope and good faith in the argument like:

i think i might genuinely be a genius for using "gordon" "freeman" to refer to different aspects of gordon and using "gordon freeman" to refer when the two aspects are functioning in tandem i feel so smart for it, i hope it comes across as impactful and clear for readers as i hope lol

I love the cinema therapy channel, I wish they had better taste in media but it’s very nice to hear this guy say things like ‘healthy relationships actually result in more passion between partners than unhealthy/dramatic ones’ like yes that’s how it SHOULD be

what if i wanted to make another insane promo post?

yeah, ik, its promo time again. BUT this time around i do wanna add in the post both my cousin and niece

one thing i did get wrong, heartz is my niece, starz is my cousin! this will basically be going over what each of these 2 do (...and im also adding in a bonus competitor/promoed person, well actually 2 because I GOT A CHANNEL YIPPEE)

each channel will be seperated up so yeah lets go!

first channel:

Starzzz.andgalaxy (my actual cousin, lol) is a great yter who absolutely deserves to be celebrating more then just 170 subs! since shes actually here with me, i can let her say a lil something on the matter:

"hello! I would love to reach 200 subscribers at least, I think my hard work should not be for nothing!" <- her typing

shes very very fun (and also with this i hope all the god damn hate comments shut lol) and does very cool things such as:

Roblox videos

(comment is from me lol, we'll get there soon) For right now these are just rating videos of her avatar, but I find them very fun (plus since I play roblox if needed I can help with filming lol)! Not much to say on it cause it's not a common kind of post, so onto the next form, which is:

2. Art

As you can see, she does very cool art, this one in particular is a tutorial on how to draw bodies. Is it the best? No, but the fact she's trying makes it great! (this is also where I've seen a couple hate comments come up, so yeah, I'm trying to be mature enough to not commit violence for her upon them) She does admit this video isn't her best work, but she does A LOT of very very cool drawings! Go check them out and her channel of course! There is one thing she also posts about which I love most of all...

3. Paper Dragons!!

(the first image is her first dragon, second is her most recent i think) I don't get how these things are "paper furries", but I do know THEY ARE SICK AS FUCK. I got to see one in person and they're very cool, all with different stories! I honestly wanna ask for one but right now, I'm gonna stick with watching them.

Channel link can be found here:

(this section was finished on january first of 2024, so at the point of this being posted she wont be over here, but i had her here so yeah :D i love my cousin)

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Second channel:

Heartzzz.❤️ is my niece, and she does similar content, but still does good content! A couple of videos of Starz and Heartz are them promoting each other, so yeah. While she is on vacation and can't be here to give her reasons to subscribe to you, I certainly can!

Memes

One thing I forgot to mention my cousin doing (well, actually my cousin's section is just kinda old because it's from when she last came over, but she's back to help me again, yay!) is making memes like this. Sometimes they do involve a paper dragon, but I think they're pretty funny and/or relatable (also dragons very cool)!

2. Edits (and Undertale related things)

I'm putting these 2 in the same category just because of the example image above. While my cousin has recently started doing edits, Heartz is the only 1 of the 2 to make anything Undertale related. While the Undertale stuff comes once every blue moon it seems, that doesn't make it any less enjoyable.

I actually found in her description a run down on what she does post, so here:

Link to her channel can be found right here:

(okay ik this section was really short, again, she posts similar things to my cousin, and i didnt wanna repeat, so yeah, if you want more reason, here's what the cousin herself says: "[Heartz] is really nice, she's a good artist, and she's creative"; time i finished this section was 1/15/2024 lol)

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third channel:

Boli and gang (or as their original user is + the profile picture says, Boli the bear) is the channel belonging to 2 kids I babysit! They're pretty new to making content, but they have a promising start already! Currently, their content consists of...

Animations

One of them has really been getting into animation, posting things like ball loops and such on their account. They're very interesting to watch personally!

2. Cool places

I'm not sure if this is going to be a common theme, but there is around 3-4 videos of places like this one. I have to admit, this has to be the prettiest of them all.

3. Art (+FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's Content)

This is another one grouped together, but because this is the first drawing related one I've seen. They're very big FNAF fans, of course leading to things like this. Is it the best? No, but they tried very hard of course, and maybe you could leave some tips for them to improve with!

(they also post memes and funny videos, but I'd rather not do repetition; FINISHED THIS ALSO ON THE 15TH LETS GOOOOOOO)

Link to their channel can be found here:

Oh, one final reason, their profile picture is super cool! Can you guess who made it? This actually provides me with the perfect transition into...

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fourth/final channel:

ITS ME!!! FINALLY I CAN STOP DOING PROPER ASS TYPING

yeah, i have a youtube now, and there's like nothing on it minus a couple videos. all of them are made back in like 2021-2022? cant really remember, but i posted them for younger me's sake. i have like a couple more to get through, but afterwards im probs gonna do a bigger variety of content! art videos, jrwi edits, animations, rambles, essays, you name it! (might even stream again on twitch if that seems what the people like lol)

you may want actual reasons to subscribe, but i currently dont have any. i can only make promises of better future content, but right now i can admit theyre shit. i dont post often, its only oc related rn, all very vague, nothing that interests most people on my blog (cause i know a lot of you are here for jrwi content, huh?). this channel, the choice to subscribe is fully up to you, im not gonna sell myself to it, im simply just saying its real.

Link to the channel is found here:

if you at all took the time to read through my part, i appreciate it, but please do actually check out the other 3. after all, you can always find me here, but you cant find the others anywhere else!

(FINISHED THE REST OF THE POST ON 1/15/24 LETS GOOOOOOOOO)

ok, if you can stomach absurd amounts of gore, horror, death, i think i should say gore twice, body horror, religious trauma, implied s/a and post apocalypse i need you to go read hell followed with us rn. best book i have read in fucking years. i literally just got it last night and finished it that night. here are the pros:

what if body horror was related to the trans experience. what then.

the gore is described so naturally. cant describe it perfectly but god the gore feels as natural as weeds sticking up between cracks in the sidewalk.

this is also a case where imo body horror is used properly and it isnt just "what if.. deformities!! ooh spooky!!" its the horror of being changed against your will and the horror of pain and the horror of loosing yourself and the hope of taking that back.

two seperate characters who use neo pronouns!!!

erin, trans girl!!!! love her

love interest is autistic and shows symptoms of autism and thats ok and good, actually.

RAGE!!! RAGE IS GOOD AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING ANGRY!!

they represent the feeling of being loved/worshipped in a way thats too much so so so good it made me physically sick. having them who you dont know grab at you, like you are so beautiful they can only plea to touch you, to have you. looking at you like you are the most beautiful cattle.

set in future but politics feels.. chillingly similar to what were experiencing rn. genuinely thought some quotes were real or this was based off a real group for a moment till i saw the date 2025. only difference is that its more ecofascist.

the body horror never makes anyone inherently unloveable. even with flesh tearing and teeth nashing and too many eyes and blood where organs once were you can be human. you can be loved.

terrifying but hopeful. they are dead but we are alive.

HYSTERICAL insults to kalvin garrah in this shit. make an entire character to say fuck him.

the inherently disabled horror of having your body and mind fail on you against your will and the hope of never being the same but surviving.

also the disabled horror of having your body taken from you and changed and twisted for others betterment. to be a martyr by sake of suffering.

Hey man? If you have "endos dni" or nontraumagenics or anything related anywhere on your blog (unless its specifically a post about trauma and even then. Im fucking heavily side eyeing you) i am instant blocking you.

If i ever reblog from anyone who has that on their blog I'd hope someone tells me so i can delete it and block.

I do not care. We do not treat our colleagues like this. We do not seperate members of our community. In doing so you are keeping resources and safety and community away from people who desperately need it, especially now.

In times where people in power want to control us and seperate us so we do not have each other, we are adding to the hellscape we all deserve to not be in.

Do not talk to me about what is possible, you are not god and if you were you are not mine. Do not talk to me about science, or misinformation when you are the one spreading it.

hii! after checking out your blogs i cant help but felt mesmerized!! its all so well-written:D may i request reader wearing a skirt x xiao/scaramouche(separate) where they were riding the escalator but theres creeps behind reader.

what will they do? feel free to ignore!🤛:))

AWH THANK YOU🫶🏻

summary: you get on the escalator with your s/o and there r some creeps bothering you

character: xiao, scaramouche (seperate)

warnings: yeah well summary🧍, cursing

also this is not edited just so yk🫂

It was a hot Saturday afternoon and you desperately needed new clothes. You ran out of shorts and also because you felt confident today you decided to wear a skirt.

"Oh come on, please? It will be fun and ill buy you boba, what's better than that?" "fine" your s/I decided to tag along due to an extreme need for boba (at least I crave it all the time idk).

After shopping for new clothes as promised you went and got boba. Boba shop was on the first floor so you took the escalator to it. Unfortunately, there were also some people riding the escalator behind you and let's just say it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Xiao:

You were chattering about random stuff that happened to you that day and he wasn't paying attention until you suddenly stooped talking.

"Hey, guys check it out," said the guy behind you while pointing at you. "Oh my god, she's got a real package there, won't!" said another guy and all of them started laughing and pointing out more stuff about you and your appearance.

You were extremely embarrassed. You could feel stares burning in your back and thighs. Their 'compliments' really made you want to die. You were desperately trying to pull your skirt a bit lower which just made things worse.

Xiao noticed your struggle and gave you one of the new shirts that he recently bought. You took it, wrapped it around your waist, and mouthed a quick 'thank you'.

"Awh man, why did you do that?" "For real, don't ruin other people's fun man," xiao turned around and started spitting random insults at them: "Just. What the fuck is wrong with you, are you really spending your day in a random mall making women feel bad, embarrassed even? Get a fucking life."

The guy behind you scoffed and put his hands up, "right bro, it's not a big deal calm down, Jesus."

"just, fuck you."

You looked at xiao and gave him a small smile. He took your hand and walked towards the boba shop after the ride ended.

Scaramouche:

"You alright?" "Yeah, I'm terrific," you said and pulled your skirt a bit lower. He could sense a bit of sarcasm in your tone. "Is it true?" "Is what true?" "Those guys behind me keep making weird comments about my skirt and the way I look, like, is it too short? Why didn't you tell me at home, I could change it there," "What's up with you name, you look amazing in this skirt, I think it fits you perfectly..." "Thanks but they are making like, uh, different types of comments?"

He turned around and saw two guys behind you making weird hand gestures and laughing while looking at you.

"Hey! Cut it out," they both turned towards him. "Sorry what?" "Don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about." "Oh, you're saying that complimenting people is a sin now? Damn sorry I didn't know. My bad."The other one was laughing hysterically.

Scaramouche was ready to continue that fight for ages but you stopped him: "Scara stop it, it's not a big deal. Just let it go." "Yeah, listen to her, it's not a big deal shortie,"

This was the breaking point for him. He punched the guy right in the face but gladly not hard enough for him to fall back. Gladly the ride has ended. You took scaramouches hand hurried in a different direction.

"You know I really should be mad at you for punching that guy but still I'm truly happy that you did. Thank you."

A/n: is this like super questionable? yup. am i still gonna post it? yup

D&D Obey me- Lucifer, Mammon, + The Twins!

@trash-opposum here you go. seperate post so people can find it but here!

Disclaimer, if i do the rest, im going to avoid making EVERYONE a tiefling or aasimar, those are just for who i think are exceptionally appropriate/is how im playing them as my current dnd character is just Belphegor. If yall want me to make the others (Asmo, Levi, Satan, maybe Diavlo but who knows) let me know!

so let's GOOOOOOOO

Lucifer

Aasimar, the kind from Mordenkainen so no special extra type

Noble background, mainly cause i cant think of anything else

As for class, we have four potential options

Two varieties of Paladin, cleric, or warlock

First paladin variety- Oathbreaker

In this case he was probably originally Devotion before the revolution, and whoops! Oath Broken!

It'd either be a point of pride for him ("I fought for what I believe is right, and there is no shame in that") or he'd hide it from everyone

Second paladin- order of the Crown! obviously because of Diavlo. fellas is it gay to swear undying devotion to your future ki- *gets shot*

Cleric, then Order Domain. clerics are sworn to gods and not demons but shush his patron might still be Diavlo. in an actual D&D setting i can see him instead swearing to like Tyr or something.

he wont be healing. clerics are tanky he's out here ordering people to drop their weapons and then fucking murdering them

Warlock, gotta be fiend patron. im not sure if its possible to be your own patron but itd be funny as shit. worse case its fiend patron with some flavor homebrew as i call it to literally just be a fiend in his own right climbing the infernal ladder as he levels up

i promise the others wont be as long

Mammon

Earth Genasi as those are descended from the Dao, which are the greediest genie. Also, they just look rich with gem-like stuff growing in cracks on their skin you just know Mammon's one of them

Charlatan background. he is scamming people left and right and it works

Rogue, thief subclass. Honestly any subclass other than Arcane Trickster (hes not smart enough) or Scout (hes not equipped for the "outside of civilization" shit)

Unlike for Lucifer, the others have Backstory! Woo!

Mammon is the son of a Dao and a human. His human parent helped him escape from the Elemental Plane of Earth, but then he was left on his own

So. He quickly learned how to con people. At first it was for survival, and then greed.

He found Lucifer while running one of these cons. In particular, his "con" was a vanishing act. He claimed he could become "one with the earth" when really he was curling up on the ground and casting Pass Without Trace. Lucifer saw through this illusion and threatened to out Mammon as a conman, unless he joined him as his ally. So, he did.

Lucifer keeps him in check, but that's not to say Mammon isn't fully on the straight and narrow

Beelzebub

Tiefling!!! variant tiefling favored to have fly wings.

Outlander background, ill explain why in a sec

Barbarian. Need I say More?

actually i will- Totem animal, spirit of the bear. Since bear gets resistance to all damage (other than psychic) while raging and i feel that works with Beel more than anything

now for his backstory! he isnt canon in the campaign im playing belphie in but his backstory has the same catalyst. When he was five years old, the kingdom he lived in was caught in a rebellion against a tyrant. In which, Beel saw his older sister get killed by a royal guard. Belphie was going to be killed- but was protected by a tiefling in a knight's armor (my previous character who was killed. rip avi)

Beel, in his five-year-old mind, just ran. He took off without a second thought- a decision he now regrets deeply.

He ran into the surrounding woodlands. And gets an Atalanta-style backstory. For those who dont know, Atalanta was a princess who was abandoned in the woods and raised by bears

So Beel is raised by bears. Which is way better than being raised by wolves

They teach him how to hunt, gather, and its all well and cute. He sometimes entered the rebuilding kingdom to trade in leftover meat for clothes and weapons- and, to try and find Belphie. No luck.

Eventually, Beel grows to be a powerful warrior. Hangry, sure, but his rage hold the rage of freaking bears. so keep him fed. please.

Anyways Lucifer and the gang (everyone minus belphie) encounter Beel in the woods, watching the cubs. Beel agrees to adventure with them. He says goodbye to bear mom and promises to visit- hopefully, with his twin, next time.

Belphegor

hehe its ME

Zariel Tiefling but i dont give a shit about the infernal legacy its just There. tail is a cow's tail he basically just looks like his demon form

Hermit background. again ill explain in a sec

Druid, circle of stars! to people about to scream "i just checked the wikidot why he no circle of dreams??" because that doesnt have to do with dreams and sleep as i wished it did. its the obligatory faewild subclass. i hate the faewild subclasses (other than the bard one that ones fun)

Currently n the campaign im in we're level 5, so his two wildshapes are wolf, and a bull. But he also has his three starry forms due to being circle of stars.

now. backstory! strap in this is Long

he's saved by my previous dnd character- Avi- and is taken in by him and his husband when the rebellion was over.

Except. due to seeing his sister die and not seeing his twin after that, Belphie assumed the worse and thought that Beel also died and he was the last one of his family

He fell into a pretty deep depression and had no motivation to do anything besides sleep, cry, and eat very tiny portions of meals.

eventually his adoptive dads start telling him stories. and. surprisingly. they seem to help! Belphie is still a shrinking violet but he eats more and can cook and do basic chores!

And Then Avi Goes Missing

His husband- Skull- asks the now 11 year old Belphie if he wants to come along to find him. Belphie declines, saying he needs to get in control of his life and some big quest is probably just gonna leave him with more trauma

Skull lets him stay home, and gives him one of his feathers. So if Belphie ever needs a hand, he can call Skull over and. well. have one of his dads at least

For five years, Belphie took to studying druidcraft, and the stars. He also enchanted his favorite pillow to float and be able to carry him. So he had a little more comfort when going out to buy groceries. He'd make detailed star maps to sell in return

When the sun rose on his 16th birthday, he left a note at home saying he felt ready to tackle his own destiny, and left.

He had a brush with Lucifer, but not Beel. so close, buddy.

Anyways he arrives at The Hunters Guild, finds his parents again, and takes residence in the observatory, where he studies his stars and druid magic again. But also, sleep and dreams.

and. yeah thats where we leave off! god that was long im sorry

Weird fucking thang. Posting these sketches just so i can talk about her. What if there was a guy who could be so insecure but so much better at hiding it.

Idfk whats going on with her outfit but its stuck on me so im keeping it.SHE'S WEARING STOCKINGS/leggings? BUT THEYRE WHITE SO IDK HOW TO VISUALIZE THAT. Hair is either a perm OR welcome side-effects from bleach + bright ass red hair dye (yes lizzie is ginger but she will dye her hair more red because. Clown.). Make up is exaggerated, lips and eyeshadoe overfilled, blush too bright/dark, literally everything besides actual greasepaint. Also she has funshaped suit cuffs button things..HONESTLY SHES HAVING A RLLY FUN TIME BEING DRAMATIC she goes to stock holder meetings dressed like this.

Elizabeth immediantly latches onto the Make ur Own Nice Fantasy and Friends thing :). She thinks this is a perfect idea. Like a LOT MORE INVOLVED version of movie william, sorta, i think she directly talks to the animatronics (esp. The funtimes)..but refuses to say their Real Names or talk about their old life in any way but sorta mean like "arent you glad you can be here now instead :3?"

The funtimes grow to FUCKING HATE HER. esp..because they are probably the ones she's "closest" to. And the ones she had the most hand in killing. (And they're also the ones that have been shown to revolt in canon.)

So eventually she gets too handsy or tests her luck somehow, with Baby(a couple of souls amalgamed into one robot, plus an AI), and, snatch, Lizzie is grabbed by her arm, pulled forward, and Baby clamps down on bone. Hard enough to chomp off (they made improvements to their strength.

If Lizzie hadn't had the knowledge of What They Do, and if she was younger and smaller, she'd be dead. She's not.

As soon as she's not dying from bloodloss and probably not from sepsis, she just goes ":o] okay i want a robot arm, daddy." And Bill is happy to oblige, mostly just scaling down blue prints from Baby's arm.

Elizabeth really enjoys giving handshakes with that arm. And using it to showcase all the wonderful potential Afton Robotics has. Fully artifulated and very strong :o].no dont worry about the phantom pains or how far the wires must go into your skin. Don't worry about how invasive or dangerous or the burns or how it Never Really Feels like I'm in control of it--Aren't you a fan of Progress, John? Don't stifle this. Imagine the profits

She clamps down harder on what's Proper Behavior for the funtimes. Many controlled shocks. I think she becomes a lot more cautious (but certainly she'll never be as much of a scaredy cat as Bill. She's above that.).

I think she's generally very insecure and shit. I think she's sort of feels "hollow" , no real self, similar to Bill. But i think she knows she's much better at hiding it, and knows how to be much more of a character. She's more solid. More grounded. She knows what she wants and By God she is going to get it.

I think she absolutely hates going to social events that are not 99% business. Elizabeth cannot exist in normal public life-- she's better than that (shes so so scared. She does not know how to act normal.).

What if a guy was extremely agoraphobic. I mean she's been hanging out in a fucking underground bunker for most of her life, besides school. That's where all the fun happens and where she can be in control.

She takes over Afton robotics, legally, as soon as William Afton goes missing. She Really takes over when "Dave Miller" goes missing, and when she snoops and finds his dead, "lifeless" body in the rabbit suit. She thinks this is a wonderful opprunity. She has so many ideas she needs to get out there, now that she's not stifled.

I think she takes this oppurtunity to Expand and seperate the brand from previous associations (leaches). Sues Henry Emily and his strand of the company. I dont know if she wins but that happens.

I think. I think. I'm going to make the Circus aniamtronics (the fucking funko pop shit) to be Lizzie's own little experiment at expanding the brand. I THINK SHE DOES SO WELL and takes the killing into her own hands esp now <3.

Aaaaaughhh idk i love lizzie so much. Thiss is rambly AND ALL SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

TW: Mentions of Sh, suicide, Od, racism ( self directed/internalized )

Before i start, the racism part of this is genuinely only to myself. I dont care what race other people are, i just hate mine.

Letter for the boy in the mirror that i wish to kill.

Spending the past 16 years of my life being ugly has been my enternal hell. I have to live everyday knowing im conventionally unattractive and no matter the clothes i wear and the way i style myself ill always be ugly. I have wonderful outfits that i think are really fucking cool or just nice and casual, but the only issue is my face and my skin. I dont want to deal with this shit, i hate my skin tone and i hate everyone trying to tell me to be proud of it. " Black is beautiful "Go fuck yourself, im not and for some reason everyone feels the need to let me know like i havent had to live with this body that i wish wasn't nine. "You're ugly" " who would like you" " you can atleast try to be funny " all of you can die, im tired of you and your fake sympathetic bullshit or the rejections in which i get infantalized bc people dont wwnt to be mean, just for me to find out wbt what they were thinking later. I get it im ugly and i tucking hate my race every issue i have stems in some way shape or form from those 2 factors (gender is another but that's a seperate rant on its own ) and don't give me that bullshit " its just your style " " dress nicely " fashion is a looks thing irregardless of how u want to spin it. Outfits look good because of how the person looks and for some fucking reason nothing works with me. My parents are trying to style me as some proper black christiwn boy, thats litterally the entire opposite of what i want to be. i have to deal with everyone tell me shit like " your outfit looks good", hoping one day they talk about me. " your shirt is nice " what about me?, " your outfit is cute ", what about me?. Ive spent years living as the billshit excuse of a human being with people shoving it down throat that im ugly, but THE SECOND I TRY TO KILL MY SELF OR I CUT MYSELF EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY THE GOOD SAMARITAN READY TO SAVE ME FROM MY TROUBLES. " Im jealous of you ", " i wish i looked like you ", " you arent ugly " I swear to every single celestial being i will rip off the head of the next person who tries to spoon feed me this bullshit. Im the person who is better off taking the photos, the one in the back of the pictures being blocked by people and thanks to my fucking skin tone i looked like some fucked up horror monster in polaroids. Now that its been 16 years of not a single person being there for me, suddenly everyone is some empath and knows how i feel. " i relate " " i understand how you " NO YOU FUCKING DONT, YOU POST AESTHETIC PHOTOS OF YOURSELF WEEKLY, HAVE PEOPLE HITTING ON YOU, WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BC U ARE ATTRACTIVE ANYWAYS SO ANYTHING U WEAR IS A " fit ". GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, TRY BEING THE PERSON THAT EVERYONR IS SUPRISED MANAGES TO DATE SOMEONE, ITS NOT THE SURPRISED OF " we didnt know " ITS THE BULLSHIT SURPRISE WHETE THEY ACY LIKE YOUR PARTNER IS BLIND OR YOU ARR PAYING THE PERSON TO DATE YOU. ITS THAT BULLSHIT SURPRISE YHAT SOMEONE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH LIKES YOU. IF YOU EVEN GO THROUGH A PORTION OF THAT THEN MAYBE SAY U UNDERSTAND ME, DONT TRY TO RELATE TO MY STORY WHEN YOUR BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING HIT ON. MY BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING CALLED CREEPY BC I SAID I LIKE SOMEONE, OR A WEIRDO BC I CONFESS TO SOMEONE " i like you " BC ITS CRAZY THAT MY ABORTED FETUS LOOK-A-LIKE SELF HAS YHE AUDACITY TO DEVELOP FEELINGS WHILR LOOKING THE WAY I DO. EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE DO THE SAME SHIT AND ITS A SILLY FUN HIGHSCHOOL EXPERIENCE, ITS FUNNY, AKWARD, ROMANTIC. What i would give to be a different person, different hair, different face, different race, different voice, the amout i would throw away just for that is unmeasureable. To the higher beings i hate you for what you have

done to me, people worship you for what you have fone for them, and im suppossed to join along and be thankful of the gift of life when my life has been nothing but a curse. I hate you for how i look, i hate that everyday i have to find new methods to not think or look into mirrors bc my immediate reaction to commit suicide. Im 16 with a violent hatred towards my face, a waste of space incomplete cell called my body, the urge/desire to kill myself the second i think abt how i look, pure hatred and negativity. I spend all my time cutting because the moment the blade leaves my skin i remember im ugly. The many nights i stare into the mirror with the pills in my hand as i cry for being dealt this shit of a hand from life. I hope for happiness one day but ik that i will never find it nor will i let go of this anger. To the few people reading this

I don’t ship most of these myself , but your rant/ramble posts on Les Mis ships are funny so I genuinely wanted your opinion on these 👁

1. Enjoltaire

2. Valvert

3. Enjonine

4. Marisette (or whatever Marius x Cosette was called)

5. Javonine (Javert and…Eponine 😭)

6. Marionine (A name a just guessed for Marius x Eponine because I wasn’t bothered to look it up)

7. and uhhh.. Granjonine (I think that was the name)

well hello darling! i live to entertain lol lets get into it i might have to put this under a cut because i think its obvious i have a rambling issue

Enjoltaire : a classic for good reason. they seemed really base level to me at first because i watched the movie first, but once i read the brick and really saw their dynamic i fell for them HARD. for me the beauty of this pairing is really rooted in the substance of their individual characters as opposed to like a romantic relationship. idk its so difficult for me to verbalize why i love them so much i think i just love the idea of finding common ground despite difficulties. enjolras and grantaire mirror each other in such a beautiful way that i feel the musical/movie couldn't really capture without demoting it to a puppy love grantaire/mean enjolras dynamic idk i have such an issue with some portrayals of them because i feel like they create a victim/abuser situation where there wasn't one but that's like a whole post within itself anyway i feel like im getting incoherent i love exr with every fiber of my fucking being just read the brick if you don't get it ok the movie and musical just dont do it justice and for the love of god avoid the fics written in 2012/2013 after the movie hype its all wRONGGGG (i love you george blagden but you created a twink grantaire movement) (they pull each others pigtails okay its a mutual obsession) (enjolras why don't you just ignore him baby? glutton for punishment my dear we all know if you hated him you wouldn't let him hang around) (anyway) i should make a seperate post about my exr feelings bc i could talk ab them for hours

2. Valvert: okay this is where i feel like i can be unpopular with the fandom. i fucking hate this ship. like physically, spiritually, all that. its one of those that i kinda lose respect for the person bc its literally a cop/prisoner thing. its not enemies to lovers. its not a hate love thing. javert's a fucking cop. valjean is his victim. the whole idea of people romanticizing this makes me feel so insanely icky and i think the point of the story has just gone RIGHT over some folks' heads please take a step back and think about it. neolib behavior sorry not sorry

3. Enjonine: enjolras is gay. just like, straight up in the brick enjolras is a gay man. this ship is spawned from straight girls who saw aaron tveit and use eponine as their not like other girls posterchild. just a whole bunch of hetero nonsense. same behavior as the joseph quinn enj x reader bs. honey thats a homosexual man and can we please stop reducing eponine to needing a boyfriend she needs a stable home and a goddamn therapist fucking hell

4. Marisette: okay. i LOVE THEM. i'm a cosette stan myself, and i'm a huge fan of a gooey love at first sight situation. they contrast my love for exr in the sense that they're a very easy love. their parts in the book literally make me SWOOOOOON i can put aside my beef with marius as a combeferre kin to appreciate how sweet they are

5. Javonine??: im sorry wh aht. did the snape x hermione shippers leak into the lm fandom or am i being fucking punked im not discussing this its obvious why this is wrong please tell me its obvious y'all are NASTY

6. Marionine: eh. eh. i mean, like i said with enjonine eponine's problems are not gonna be solved with a dude. i'm really not opposed to them, persay, its just that eponine's love for marius is so incredibly dependent and rooted more in her personal trauma than actual love, so i feel a little weird with them sometimes. sometimes it just gives anti cosette vibes (cough cough bc of the bullshit love triangle angle that the musical markets cough cough) so i tread very carefully with them

7. Granjonine: again what in the damn hell. i'm not dignifying this shit they could be besties but for the love of god george blagden did a number on the straight girls. STOP PROJECTING ONTO EPONINE IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND LEAVE HER ALONE

thanks for the ask lovely, i do love rambling even though these ships are baffling lmaoooo

I have a lot of stupid thoughts about the Imperials worshipping a dragon-god and having dragonborn Emperors on their throne, the Amulet of Kings around their necks, over their chests, the stone's shape with the dragon inside being the symbol of the Empire itself, and I wanna look at... the accounts describing Pelinal:

Fifd of New Teed claiming he had no heart, only the "rage of a mindless dragon", how it's described that it was a gem in his chest, before it became the amulet of Kings apparently (suggesting that, within the stone, sat that mindless, draconic rage (golly, I wonder what'd happen if you broke it)), as well as how Whitestrake screamed madly about a sort of omnipotence he shares with Akatosh (implying, of course, that he is, in a way, not unlike a Player Character ("When the dream no longer needs its dreamer"))

(The Amulet of Kings; a stone in place of a heart, yet containing heart-blood and a dragon's fury, as well as possibly a soul? With all of it linking back to the omnipotence of a god. They swore a covenant on that blasted thing!)

On TOP of how Akatosh (or his 'equivalent' in a given culture) and dragons in general are viewed across the rest of Tamriel; in Skyrim, dragons, pictured in their totemic ur-religion as Alduin the World-Eater(who is very real and very much linked closely to Akatosh), essentially representing all-consuming, all-destroying time, or by Altmer and Bosmer as Auri-El, the sun, who, while benevolent, sees the creation of Nirn as a mistake (this being evidently also part of the god known as Akatosh, as an attempted seperation of these Aldmeri traits and traditions from him, reportedly, caused a massive dragon-break, which is said to have 'broken' the god)

In Skyrim, we also get Paarthurnax' insight on how dragons feel and live and experience the world, and- jeesh! (Anyone got more of a brain than me and wants to look into Thu'um and the 'Voice of the Emperor'? Dragonborn Emperors and the voice of a dragon, is all)

Of course, Tiber Septim's ascension to godhood (his crimes even being part of the idol worshipped, brutal conquest now an inherent part of the pantheon enforced by the Empire), how, through Imperial propaganda, cultural erasure and the conflation of Nord heroes with Talos, he became a widely revered god in Skyrim despite the Nords' beliefs about dragons, and how his Numidium being activated also caused a dragon break,

(This may warrant its own post, but; on a surface level, Martin may seem unlike a destructive and consuming dragon, unlike an Emperor, but would share a fate like all-- just less the conquering dragon and more the world-ending time kind (though the two concepts are closely connected, only just nearly the same.))

There's something about the exact contents of the Prophecy of the Dragonborn here, too, and how that yet again leads back to Alduin and destruction, conquest, time, the loss of something through it

It paints this sinister picture around the (already very sinister and fucked up) Empire, its Cult, the line of dragonborn Emperors, around anything involving the amulet and what actually happened when it was shattered, and I'm obsessed with it

As is an Empire's nature, it is a destructive force, conquering, destroying, consuming; a nature shared with dragons, and with time itself

And the literal symbol of the Emperors' reign is the Amulet, containing all of this in the flesh; the blood of a dragon, its mindless rage, ends and beginnings of Eras, a covenant with Akatosh, a metaphorical replacing of the heart-- how human are you, if you are born in the line of Emperors, etc.

And- there's a covenant! An agreement with the god himself, which was broken! It's fucked!

Akatosh says: Serve and obey your Emperor. Study the Covenants. Worship the Nine, do your duty, and heed the commands of the saints and priests.

Ten Commands: Nine Divines

Alright. I was gonna make this more in-depth, but i really have no idea how to condense a work longer than the bible into a coherent post so. Time for

SPB tries to explain Homestuck somewhat briefly.

(somewhat spoiler warning)

so. homestuck is a web"comic" about 4 kids (also 12 kids. plus 4 other ones. also one really fucked up one.) playing a game. that game is called SBURB. in some instances its actually SGRUB. because yes. that game causes their world to end. but its alright! you can escape into the game world. there you can breed frogs until you have a very special frog thats gonna be a new universe for people to live in. when youve done that, you won the game! this has very little to do with the actual gameplay of that game.

One player can build things at the house of the other. but that player has to kill enemies first so they have enough recourses. you build upwards towards floating gates so you can enter the game world. In the game world, every player gets their own planet! theres a scary boss monter hiding in it. also, somewhere on it is a bed where when you die on it you become a god! What kind of god depends on your personality. Or maybe your personality depends on what kind of god you are? noone knows. also the planets each have sweet little reptiles or amphibians who just live there. theyre cool. later on you can visit the planets of the other players through further gates.

you can make basically everything you want to by combining things with alchemy! actually the alchemy is more like programming. and needlessly complicated. (also people have inventories that function like different types of data storage. but that has nothing to do with SBURB. thats just normal in the world of homestuck)

you also get a little ghostly companion as compensation for the whole rest of your planet dying! A glowing orb absorbs something and it becomes your guide. most of the time, the thing the orb absorbs is someone/something dead, so you get to revive someone basically (neat!). actually two things can be put in the guide. But what you put in there before you go into the game world also affects the enemies youll be facing.

Somewhat related to the game, there are special dream moons. when you go to sleep, theres a dream you there on one of those. One moon is yellow and for :D people and the other one purple and for B) people. Your dream you can die seperately from your awake you, but you need them both you for the magical god-bed to work! Luckily, theres also another place to die on the moons where you just need the dream bodies around. Also, on the moons live chess people. The yellow one has white and the purple has black ones.

The chess people also have a big chessboard battlefield planet in the middle of the game world. They fight a war there. What you put in your guide thingies also affects the board.

Sometimes, the previous players fucked up and made your universe frog have cancer. That makes the game unbeatable for you! Luckily, theres maybe a place on one of your planets where you can basically hard reset your universe. Yay! But that means youd normally die. So if you dont wanna die, you gotta find a way around that to get into that new universe.

Okay, that was the game kinda. Now onto stuff that actually matters!

Those are the four kids it starts with. its the one on the lefts birthday and the sburb beta comes out. so they all play sburb and cause their planet to be destroyed. but uh oh

the trolls who played sburb first fucked up making the human universe so now the previous four gotta reset it! So they do that.

Those are the new four kids that happen there. theyre actually the grandma/grandpa/mother/brother of the original four. actually theyre their mother/father/mother/father. because everyone is either a weird slime clone of themself or a mixture of two clone slimes.

the new four also talk with cherubs

these guys. the red one hires a dream assassin to kill the green one. that one plays sburb alone and thats not allowed so he suffers a totally different session which i will NOT get into but he gets green leprechaun muppet henchmeb because of it and also hes the big bad actually.

Yeah turns out due to time shenanigans he kinda has always been there and *sorta* has been pulling the strings since the beginning?

doesnt matter. they manage to defeat him after they bring a new green cherub from another timeline there.

and uhh thats the end of homestuck then.

🎉...

i left out basically everything that makes homestuck. fun. and enjoyable. But i will NOT get into the characters because everyone interacts with everyone and theyre really complex.

also, fun fact, the birthday "boy" from the beginning is actually a trans girl after someone found one of the authors toblerones. this shows up nowhere in canon material but according to hussie its canon now. its probably fine to picture that fella as whichever gender.

also everyone is hella queer and or neurodivergent. even the homophobic racist characters. especially those actually.

okay ill shut up fr now i might talk about the characters at some point but now definitely not.

(@possiblyatransgirl heres the quest attempt its shitty but homestuck is equally shitty)

Your Cabinet Man AU has made me WEAK

But really it's so cool! I was just wondering how you think your AU would react to the Ninja from the actual show? Like its a stupid thought but I always find crossovers, etc. interesting and whatnot

Also is Morro like apart of the Ninja team or more on the side and doing his own thing? Living his life(again). And for Seabound does Morro play a active role and have his powers acting up too since him and Nya are technically “not elemental masters” and are their own thing. I can see Morro feeling so guilty that Nya was the one that went and blaming himself, cause he isn't “needed for the team”(depending on how you're doing this of course and you seem to like angst as much as me). And where does he go when everyone seperates.

I'm just really into Morro’s part for this AU

(My brain has been going a mile a minute thinking about the differences between your AU and the show have and how yours has so much more angst)

WAHHHH THANK U THANK U I saw all your tags on my posts i'm glad you like the AU :DDDDD

I'm not one to think TOO much about how canon characters would react to AU versions of themself, but I feel like Canon Jay would be like oh my First Master is this guy okay (spoiler alert he's not)

Since they both hide their traumas behind jokes, they'd probably see through each other pretty quick and have a mutual trauma dumping session lmao

i also decided that Skybound wouldn't get undone at the end of the season bc i Really Hate that plot point so Canon Jay (or at least how i draw him) and CM! Jay have different scars and I think it'd be funny for Canon Jay to be like "OH MY GOD THE SCARS FROM NADAKHAN ARE STILL ON YOUR FACE" and CM! Jay responding with "wELL WHY DOES YOURS LOOK LIKE A LIGHTNING BOLT SCRAPED DOWN THE SIDE OF YOUR FACE"

I think Morro would be like a temporary member of the team! He stays with them for a while to recuperate and get used to being alive again, but he does want to work out his own emotions and find a life and purpose outside of trying to be the green ninja. He has a room in the monastery and everything but he's only there like half the time. I DO think it'd be very interesting to have him play a role in Seabound, especially since wind and water would BOTH be affected by everything going down. I'm not sure exactly what that role would be since most of Seabound I was. Sobbing. And I haven't had the heart to rewatch it yet LMAO

Morro's biggest purpose in the AU so far is to help Jay, actually. The two become pretty close as Morro helps Jay go through the same issues HE went through in terms of coping with being an Alive Person again. This is partly self-indulgent bc I want Morro and Jay to be friends so bad so so so bad canon why did you take this from me they could've been pranksters together it wouLD'VE BEEN SO FUN-

also yes! my AU has much more angst than canon heehehehe I like the themes of hurt/comfort that angsty scenarios can provide, so I'm kinda fucking up Jay more than canon does heeheehehehe also it's kind of hard to make "trapped in a video game for half your life and not even realize you're a PERSON" not angsty

Skybound is 100% on me tho I looked at that season and went we did not see Jay suffer enough so it's on me to fix that and also fix the rest of the season too bc it kinda sucks i have a love-hate relationship with it

Nightfallsystem - Main blog. Plural System. cringe asf autistic and chronic pain haver. giant isopod enthusiast.

READ MY DNI AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST!!!

IF I FOLLOW U / REBLOG FROM U RANDOMLY / ACT LIKE WE'RE MUTUALS U PROBABLY FOLLOWED/INTERACTED ON MY BLOG @qiekz OR @qiekzart

‼️hi guys if ur reading this during october 2023 plz check out @qiekzart rn im doing a thing ✨✨

Check out my etsy plzzz :333 i post adoptables !!

My name is Qiekz, my pronouns are it/its, please use my actual preferred pronouns. For your DNI purposes please know I'm 14 ^_^ also no nsfw interaction or you will fucking die!! im also learning japanese! (please send help.... im dying..... grahh.. ive gone too far to quit its kind of my curse now.)

what to expect from this blog? random shit, this is my personal blog. there may be vents and rants (tagged as #vent and #rant respectively) there may be random shit there will be so many reblogs.

i try to add ids when i can into the alt text, though i have chronic pain so sometimes im too tired to, sorry

Special interests: Giant isopods, Yugioh 💀💀

interests: TBHK, manga and anime, servals, marine animals, suicide boy (critical of it...), made in abyss, (critical of it...) , japanese language ,, ... i forgor

FEEL FREE (i encourage you to!) TAG ME IN SHIT ABOUT MY INTERESTS!!! esp yugioh im really autistic about it o my god

#autistic about this thing tag <- will be me tagging shit im really autistic about!!

not really in discourse anymore other than transgender stuff so if you try to drag me into discourse ill drag you into the pits of hell. i fucking hate syscourse so much.

If i am not speaking and another system member is, the post will be tagged as "- [name]". I tag common triggers, flashing lights and eyestrain, etc, these will be tagged as "TW [topic]". also JSYK i block a fuck ton of people so like, yeah, I block anyone for any reason I want. I will also not unblock you. unless youre liek my friend or smth.

We have so many fictives sooo,, source list: TBHK, Omori, OneShot, Wolf Song the Movie (yknow, that one on youtube.), yugioh..... </3 .. sourcemates r cool to interact n stuff feel free to send an ask im just shy...

anon hate MUST be original no lame "kys" or "[slur]". i will judge you. try better. try harder. get good. if you send anon hate i will judge it and rate it out of 10 so please try your best.

i am weirdo fictionkin heres the list: hooni from suicide boy yayy,, faputa from made in abyss ( I FUCKING HATE THE SORUCE FOR BEING SO WEIRD OMFG AHGHH),, jolteon from pokemon. . im weird and fuckd up . much prefer if u dont rlly seperate me from me in sources. cuz i just am me. sorry. ig. just refer to me as me . thank you

I am critical of all of my interests!!

or more just i hate them agh just be normal omfgggg crying sobbing

if you wanna avoid a common trigger its most likely tagged #tw [topic]. i also tag eyestrain and flashing lights but usually i just tag it as "#eyestrain" or "#flashing". tbh i unfortunately cant be trusted to remember to tag any other specific trigger because of bad memory. i wont tag reclaimed slurs but i will tag slurs used in a mean way

Please do not DM me unless you actually really need to. Send me an ask if you want to DM me and specify that you want it answered privately if you want. but i AM UNCOMFY WITH DMS. unless we're friends or i DMed you first. otherwise i place a curse on you I MUCH prefer asks over DMs

Sideblog list

@omori-addict

@oops-all-traumacore (TW TRAUMACORE)

@sunnymogai (inactive)

@hellhoundmutt (inactive)

@sunnymogai2 (inactive)

@qiekz (EYESTRAIN + FLASHING TW please block if you are affected by that please)

@qiekzart

@tsukasabrainrot

alter blog 4 tasma:

@tazmahell

@tazmaboxed

DNI:

Anti plural, pluralphobe, anti endo, sysmed, against created alters/etc, "dont believe in systems",

Proship, condone or support posting any sexual stuff that includes a child, lolicon/shotacon/etc, someone purposely meant to look like a child, cub.

LGBTQphobic, transmed, transphobe/homophobe/biphobe/panphobe/etc, 'super straight'/variants, anti-ace inclusion, anti-aro inclusion, anti a-spec inclusion, aphobes, anti mspec lesbian/gay/etc, stelliophobic, anti lesboy/turigirl/etc, anti any good faith queer identity, anti neopronouns, anti xenogender, anti mogai.

Ableist, support autism speaks, think "narc abuse" is a thing/demonise people with any disorder including NPD, infantalise people with disorders/disabilities/etc, post/support on subreddits like r/fakedisordercringe or r/systemscringe, use the term "Aspergers" / describe urself as an "aspie" (Hans Asperger was a nazi who killed many disabled people, so shut the fuck up.)

Racist, cultural appropriators.

Radqueers, trans-id/transX, transrace/trace (not adoptee term), support the term transplural, pro-contact/contact-complex/contact-neutral for harmful paraphillia, sway people away from getting help for harmful paraphillia, MAP/Pedo/zoo/necro. (also transspecies is ok if its not used in a transX way)

Fujoshi/variants. fetishize mlm/wlw, etc.

Against traumacore / vent art.

Have minors on ur DNI (no offense im just a minor lol), NSFW-Focused blog

Post stolen art (includes AI images) / trace art without consent

other stuff is im neutral on factkin or kff tbh. and i think id rather stay neutral on tulpas as a term. i just dont fucking care. i dont involve myself in syscourse anymore, i might post more endogenic positivity later but id rather not due to the rampant harassment and infighting in the system community.