#this is why you guys shouldnt engage with my posts.
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fuck you I've changed and grown as a person. social media old man yaoi
#wasnt going to come back to these but people were interacting with that one post again and inspiration struck#this is why you guys shouldnt engage with my posts.#I'm not saying ive came back just uh........ feel free to request more I guess#twitblr chronicles#<- again kind of#redblr era#zoup art
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So like. As amazing at the tma has been about fat acceptance and love and has been absolutely vital to a lot of my self acceptance as a fat trans man, because this fandom actually talks about fat people (as opposed to other fandoms where fat characters and hcs are nonexistent), it means it’s also exposed me to the most and worst fatphobia of any fandom. I genuinely don’t even gaf about the actual discourse discussed in this fandom, it’s generally the people who negatively react to discourse of ppl complaining about fatphobia. The initial problems are usually ignorable to me, but it ends up bringing up peoples voices that make it incredibly clear what their true thoughts about fat ppl are. Idrk why I thought I should share this with you, ig just seeing if you have similar experiences.
I struggle here because i don't like to feel like i am attacking other artists. i'm a hater and i love to complain but i know i have my own short comings. but when it comes to the fatphobia in this fandom im always left not knowing how to talk about things because people will come to me and tell me why my complaint about someone thinning out a fat character is wrong or bad.
do keep in mind i dont really engage with the tma fandom as much i feel very much on the outskirts so this is jsut what i feel like i see on my end and i'm sure theres way more going on i simply dont know
in recent months we have had a newer influx of artists in the fandom who have come in with their own interpretations of the characters which is all fine and good. its jarring sometimes when we become so used to these formless characters looking a certain way that when new people enter the fandom with different ideas it feels wrong and like an attack.
the biggest issue has been people drawing a thinner martin. and while of course everyones welcome to their own interpretation and martin expressing that he's not exactly the smallest guy has multiple ways to be interpreted it is extremely frustrating to see people take that as giving him the most bare minimum extra weight. especially when having a fat character as desirable and as a love interest and such a Fun character is so far and few between
i could go on and on about how each time a popular artist posts a thin martin it gives everyone who looks up to them the excuse to do the same and it's why it's become such a prevalent thing lately. i don't think popular artists should have to worry about being good role models or anything in a fandom i think if youre making art you should do it for fun but it sucks to see when someone becomes so influential and are creating a problem. i deleted like three paragraphs on this alone so i'm going to move on.
i think what i see in the fandom most in regards to fatphobia is a skill issue. people don't know how to draw fat characters. but it also feels like people are barely trying. the artist i have in mind who i would consider to draw skinny martins DOES add a bit of roundness to him. i can aknowledge theyre doing SOMETHING. but you can't come to me and tell me that i can't criticize their art because culturally that's fat to them... like sure it could be. but it's also definitely a limitation of their art style and ability and instead of defending them and patting them on the back for doing good enough shouldnt we encourage people to grow and improve? what an amazing asset to be able to draw people of all size and variety. thats an AMAZING abillity to have in youre tool belt. i wish i had more resources for drawing bodyfat but unfortunately i do not. i have learned from looking at people and luckily having a lot of large loved ones in my life i've learned from as well as you know.. my own body to learn from. and learning to draw bodyfat and drawing characters i love with it has done wonders for my body dysmorphia.
i went on a rambling tangent and idk how coherent all of that is but the end point is that fatphobia sucks it has no place in this or any fandom and we need to practice our skills instead of erasing something that has made this fandom so wonderful to me.
here's some resources
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Here’s a Harutaka ask for you! Do you think they’d get married? If yes what do you think their wedding would be like? Also I hope you feel better soon!
HIII if it isnt the little guy i watched slowly get into kagepro. whatsup. how are u holding up being into kagepro. ALSO THANK U im already a lil better i ate 1 single boiled egg and now im laying in bed
yes haruka and takane 10000% get so married. i have this silly headcanon that haruka is begging her from day 1 to get married because IDK he's just excited about being alive and takane liking him💗💗💗 and maybe he is also terrified of her changing her mind abt liking him and for some reason thinks getting married will solve that feeling of feeling not good enough for her💗💗💗 wait who said that. but takane's all like No haruka we're only like 20 and he's like AUUUUGGGHHH!!! fine
honestly its a hc born from a bit in the novels (im not sure u read them) where haruka says man i wish takane stopped swearing so much she's gonna have a hard time finding a husband💔💔💔 ITS SO FUNNY TO ME idk likeeee since he knew he'd die, he never imagined being an adult at all. this is more in the territory of the early twenties crisis he apparently has post str i guess. which is also hilarious.
i think haruka's like... he thinks of marriage of this weird alien thing bc as a teen he wont even entertain the idea of dating or anything bc HES DYING like he literally shoots down the acknowledgement of his feelings for takane BECAUSE he is dying. he's like man whats the fucking point if im just gonna die this sucks ASS
so marriage. well it's an adult thing. and he turns out to be alive!! and takane REALLY LIKES HIM FOR SOME REASON!!! and he's like WELL WERE ADULTS ARENT WE WHY THE HELL SHOULDNT WE GET MARRIED???? takane's like because we're BARELY adults like BARELY. and also IN SO MUCH NEED OF THERAPY. and haruka's like i dont see how that's related🙄🙄🙄 whatever takane ur such a bore🙄🙄🙄 its just a silly argument they laugh and tease each other about *rips hair out* theyre so CUTE AUGGHHH
yeah they do eventually get married. not IMMEDIATELY though but still probably rly young. like before their mid twenties young. LOL!!! as for a wedding i dont think they'd actually care about one??? because haruka and takane are really introverted ppl and being the center of attention mortifies both. well takane's used to attention bc streamer slay but its not. the same. like that's different BASICALLY i dont think takane would care to throw money in something like this and haruka is also like whatever man just sign the paper so i can officially be ur boywife. they still probably have like a little get together with the dan though. maybe they dont even tell them they're like OH BY THE WAY WE DID SOMETHING FUNNY TODAY wjxnoefuoendoefundkc call shintaro&ayano on the phone like can u come with us to sign as our witnesses. and shintaro and ayano are like WITNESSES OF WHAT? erm. haruka&takane engaged for exactly 14 hours when haruka asks takane to marry him for the millionth time and this time she's like uhhh. yeah alright👍
thats my harutaka wedding hc. that theyre too lazy to have a wedding🫡 ayano mourns it so much she's been like wedding planning her whole life for her siblings. seto&mary get ultra married as soon as theyre 18 im not getting into those hcs i already did but ayano goes so crazy with it. and then haruka&takane are next (tho years later) and ayano's like WH?? BUT IM?? SUPPOSED TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING????? WHAT DO U MEAN U WONT MAKE ONE???? and theyre like 🤷♂️ maybe she forces them and she organizes it alone and forces them to kiss in front of everyone and only then stops being annoying. sorry i love crazed wedding planner ayano
#ask tag#headcanons#theres a lot of content abt super ultra romantic haruka and while thats cute#i dont. i dont think he.#yeah.#like i think he'd TRY and IS romantic in his own way but definitely not the normal way with roses and candlelights. definitely not#hes such a loser i think ppl forget that he's a loser.#like can u imagine if he was like that. takane would rly hate it LOL#harutaka
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Before I share my thoughts, remember that you shouldn't let other's preference change what you write if what you're writing is making you happy.
Honestly I also strongly loathe jeanluc but it's not the main thing that made me drop the series. Rather the synopsis & everything implied strongly that it'll be a diluc x reader, call it the "reward" the main thing that made us click it. We then went through a painful journey but it's ok there's "motivation", we'll be rewarded in the end
Then smack in the face! Diluc mutually loves Jean back. There's now 2 options - there's no reward afterall so why bother continue? or the reward comes with guilt, make reader the bad person. Both are unpleasant options.
i think what makes me feel happy about writing is the fact that people enjoy it, so if some people feel disappointed or uncomfortable, i wont enjoy it too (which is sad but its not rlly an unhealthy thing for me as far as im concerned) and try to make some changes if necessary. its a big mistake of mine to not specify that reader wouldnt end up with diluc so i apologize for those who are disappointed, maybe i shouldnt have put it in the fic and left it instead.
of course, i understand why you’re dropping it and im not stopping you from it, i just want to clarify some things. regarding the options you’re talking about. there is a reward and its been there all along — i am not planning to make this series a bad ending nor will i make reader a bad person and be insistent on loving diluc despite his engagement because that’s too much, yknow? by the time tumblr-support is able to fix my problem w being unable to update my evermore masterlist, you guys will eventually find out another thing about the series and dw, it’s gonna be a good thing (for some at least).
ill also add a warning to new readers that this series won’t be as happy as they expected for reader and diluc.
overall, i apologize again for the disappointment and for the mistake i made. ill fix the sypnosis and add warnings just so more people wont be disappointed when they encounter the series by the time the masterlist post is fixed (when? not sure, im just waiting for tumblr-support’s email to tell me its fixed). ty for sharing your thoughts anon <333
#— ( penpal anon 📣 )#— ( about . evermore )#+ not to mention how there will be an epilogue thats dedicated to reader and diluc in a what if situation
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right, okay, even more thoughts. check out how hard i can [ramble] PSHOOOOOO. they may feel disjointed for a number of reasons. also again i did bingeread the entire hoshino manga at once while not feeling my best so i may have skimmed or forgotten information- preemptive "oops" for that if so lol
-blood is so humorless in this manga!! what im thinking about right now is the bath scene where he's just complaining about alice behind her back... in game she was there and they were having a kicking war under the water! she was lying to him and elliot about not being able to handle drinking! she complained he needs to watch his kids and hes like oh no, those are elliot's kids. it was a relaxed and friendly atmosphere! I'm pretty sure we dont get the box in box gift at the beginning either, or alice telling him to stfu about his tea special interest, or alice sizing him up as a second grade bully on a playground...basically he's such a funny comedic character and that is one of his main sources of appeal imo. so that's gone.
-but we ALSO don't go hard on "be my bad boy amv dangerous mama im in love with a criminal romance novel ohhh i shouldnt but it feels so good" sex appeal either? because right at the point where they would've had sex for the first time he swerves into kills you road, and then the story has to be about that instead.
-WAIT HE DOESNT ACT LIKE HE HAS ~A DISEASE~ (FELL IN LOVE) EITHER.... OR "IM SO TIRED I WISH ANYONE NOT TIRED WAS DEAD"..... SO MANY FUNNY MOMENTS....
-so like if he isnt funny and he isnt sexy why are people supposed to care about him as a love interest.... -_-
-i halfway take back my feelings of blood being ooc in that kind of anger at "youre too friendly with every guy" way. i think its a reaction that's possible for him to have because this game enjoys jealousy tropes. he does get extremely jealous of her friendships with particular other guys, and reacts....... in a variety of ways,
-interestingly though not with julius! his reaction to her friendship with julius is more like 😬😬 okay so you dont know it but this is making a political statement you may not want to make.
-twice in manga ive seen him shoot around the tower for julius "taking her away" tho. maybe its a nonstay thing...
-i just dont think he should be acting like that because the situation alice gets into in the manga is one he should never have to react *to* because *it should not be possible for all of these events to happen in one timeline*.
-the half i am NOT rescinding is him accusing her of cheating on her ex/blaming her for that relationship's failure because we SEE him react to that in game and his kneejerk reaction is different.*
*from what i remember, he was like wtf thats gross i cant believe he did that to you, but also like you were in a bad relationship.... without me ;)???**
**that segment makes me feel really nasty so i dont want to return to it just now for posting's sake, along with not wanting to engage with , uh, beloved comfort media, on tisha b'av night. even the part that is uncomfortable.***
*** i debated holding off making this post till tomorrow night but ultimately lost the battle of will.
-it is extremely funny to me that so far like every manga author ive seen do a bloodalice plotline does the "omg are he and vivaldi a secret couple" thing because they clearly don't want to go the "i cant bring myself to tell him out loud i want to have sex in a bed and not a couch" route. i cant blame them but also , IF I WERE COACH, etc etc.
-idk im just very fascinated with telling bloodalice' story as a bunch of sex that is, while consensual (heres where i tell QR to shhhhh), bringing up a lot of conflicting and upsetting feelings in alice that she is hurting the relationship and the friendship its based on by Not Talking About. and the double-level of like... a late teen exploring adulthood/sex for the first time while also being a person older than that who is also navigating having sex for the first time because she has never moved past being like 18-9 emotionally.
-not that not having sex in your teens is a requirement of emotional maturity but that i personally headcanon she has never seeked another relationship after her first one. was too hurt and then lorina died and all processes kind of stopped for her.
-BUT THATS JUST ME,
-ANYWAY
-blood does have a "wants to kill her" plotline in game, so the manga does have its roots in that.
- in his route it's the same "i want to go against the belief that outsiders are lovable by killing one". its been a while but im pretty sure that gets settled fairly quickly so we have more time to either like or dislike couches, etc.
-in elliot's route he gets threatening towards her in a "i wonder whos side elliot would take if i killed you?" way towards the middle-end, and then elliot is like Um Hey Boss Can We Talk Privately and the matter is never brought up again. (I wish we got to see that convo. "can you not threaten to kill my girlfriend" "okay youre right sorry, that was rude", lmao)
-ace seems to want to kill her because he realized that it is not in fact the "meeting an outsider" that changes your life for the better, it's something else? which i guess plays down the sort of "youre like meeee haha" depressionsexual angle he takes in game, or maybe this alice just isnt visibly depressed enough for his tastes lmao
-alice in general, as i keep saying, seems to me to be kept a lot more hands-clean and "pure"- she doesnt touch clocks she doesnt drink she doesn't bathe with the guys, she never has a bizzare "murder is okay maybe??" moment (THAT I REMEMBER), etc. i feel like despite That Whole Plotline theres less making out/sex than in the game too?
-does she go on less self hating rants or am i just forgetting....
-if we MUST center this story around people wanting to kill alice for reasons related to her outsideriness i wish we got to heavily play up the "completed love" segment.
-a completed love.... that alice thinks the purest love is the love for a woman who's died. and that she feels she will never achieve being loved in that manner. near death experiences should be a perfect time to meditate on that, right? does she feel like she can achieve it? is she afraid that even in death, blood will ensure her memory is "some flirty girl who kisses up to everyone"- that she will Lose at Being Girl no matter what?
-i dont remember getting that though.... missed opportunities....
-i think positioning blood as an antagonist who wants to counter beliefs about outsiders by killing her couldve worked if he simply did not know her very well and then got to know her later on and was like oh i see. nevermind.
-oh, but the strangling was unrelated to this wasnt it? it was as punishment for walking into him and vivaldi's garden. which i think is a waste of like.... everything blood says about guilt, punishment, etc regarding elliot and that he sees the same in alice. couldve been a ~youve been a bad girl~ sexy scene lmao!!!! but he's apparently not allowed to have any sex appeal in this manga, so :'|
-couldve even tied itself emotionally to alice and lorina- siblings who can find peace in a garden but cant , for whatever reason, carry the story of "two siblings having pleasant conversation" outside of that space (for the dupres because it is dangerous, for the liddells because one of them is dead).
-man it makes me sad that hoshino's blood says she mustve cheated on her ex. dont SAY that to her dont you know what he DID-
-aaaaa AAAA OH NO MANGA ONLY READERS DONT KNOW HOW ROMANTIC AND SWEET HIS BALL SCENE IS IN GAME
-I thought it was adorable, anyway......
-he lies down in a guest bed like alice i am sooooooooooooooooo tired from dancing i wanna kiss you but im too tired you have to come over here and kiss me................
-thats all for now.
-FOR NOW...
#thoughtful honking#cannot stress enough how much this is a 'me needing to talk' post#not a wanting to like Share An Essay post#i think like all my hoshino posts have been like that but particularly this.
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My issue is not people reasonably criticizing Jensen's decision but rather outright canceling him completely for it. Should he have said no? Definitely and I wish he had. Does saying yes mean he's suddenly a racist asshole despite everything else that shows he's anything but? No, it doesn't. It means he made a stupid decision, that's it. He's human. He screws up. Criticize him fairly and let him learn and improve from his mistakes. Canceling him does nothing.
Tbh i dont think ive seen anyone cancelling him? Most people who made (rightfully) angry posts about his decision seem to still be fans of his, which is probably why the disappointment hits harder.
The thing about cancelling is that it doesnt exist the way people think it does. There isnt one council of cancellation who looks at a celebs mistakes and then officially declares them cancelled. What most ppl call cancelling is actually just people explaining why they cant support someone and why maybe other people shouldnt either. Sometimes ppl agree and follow suit, most of the time they dont and instead choose to defend the celebrity.
In jensens case i havent really seen either? I have seen people who were really upset about his decision to support a project like wanker and the people defending his decision and i have seen people trying to offer up meager explanations as to why he might have felt pressured bla bla. I havent seen anyone actually say "you cant support anything he does ever again" and i havent seen people say "he has done nothing wrong, dont you dare criticise him" but maybe we just follow different people?
I dont particularly like the defeatist "well what did you expect, hes a white guy from a cw show, of course hes ok with racism" because what is that even supposed to mean? That you shouldnt expect better of people? That you shouldnt waste your time calling out ppl for shit behaviour?
Its up to you if you still want to engage with his content or of you feel like a line too many has been crossed and youre gonna have to expect that people have a different opinion on this, which might make them not want to interact withyou anymore, thats just how it is. You cant control the degree of how much a celebs actions upset someone.
Im very annoyed at his decision to contribute to a harmful project like walker, but i still dont think hes a thoroughly shitty person. And i also think he deserves to know that people are disappointed, you know?
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Hi.
Since I have a lot of time in the train when I go to work I decided to use it better and write something about bc.
Ik i already started something but i can multitask.
Please note that this piece of fiction was wrote on a phone and i didnt read it again before posting.
Ehm… what else? Enjoy
I always wanted to go to Helsinki. It’s been a dream of mine since I was little. Something about the culture just really appealed to me.
Luckily for me I finally convinced my best friend to take a break from her girlfriend and we could spend a girlvacation in my favourite city.
Our flights were booked, our luggage packed and us two we were ready to take of.
After flying 5 hours from Switzerland Zurich zur Finnland Helsinki we finally made it.
The hotel wasnt a great distance away from the airport so we took a taxi.
After we finally made it to hotel and we cleaned up, we decided to go to a bar and drink our first beer here.
We made ourselves ready. More like I made myself ready. My best friend Karo wasnt one to put on makeup. She felt more comfortable in her cargos and bandshirts.
I om the other hand put on my decent makeup, black skinny high waisted jeans and a cute pink cropped sweater I bought for this occasion.
We googled the clostest bar to our hotel and off we went.
„Two large beers“, i ordered at the bar and the barkeeper promptly got to work and gave us our long awaited beer.
While Karo was already seated I paid for our drinks and brought them to our table.
„So os our plan to get wasted everynight or are wen going to do something useful while we’re here?“, she joked after seeing the size of our beers.
„Why cant we do both?“, i asked in return and was completly serious with my statement.
We both loved to drink. But we were equally as active and couldnt sit still for a long time even when we tried.
After finishing our rather large beer I had to use the toilet and on my way back I saw that Karo wasnt alone anymore.
A man was seated in my chair.
He had long blonde hair and looked punky.
Was Karo already so drunk, she started talking to people?
„Iris come one over!“, Karo basically shouted through the whole bar and I quickly made my way towards her.
„This is Joel and he lost his friends and wanted to know if he could sit with us“, she told me and I just said it would be okay if he would sit with us.
They started having a conversation about the band on her shirt. It seemed they both enjoyed their music.
Not wanting to interrupt these two I started looking around and saw five relatively handsome men making their way towards us.
I was always shy when it came to meeting new people. Complet opposite of my best friend, as you can tell.
„Joel there you are!“, said a really tall man.
„Yeah I wanted to look for you guys but I meet these lovely ladies indtead. Boys this is Karo and Iris!“, he introduced us and the boys started to introduce themselves to us.
I was always bad with names and decided to stick with Joels name.
„So what are two beautiful ladies like you two are doing in Helsinki“, asked a poodle looking guy, and pulled a chair for himself out.
„Vacation“, i answered him his question and looked at him like he was dumb. What did he think two foreigners would do here?
The boys told us they actually were a band and Karo was completly engaged in this conversation. They all were. Ecxept a beautiful man and me. He wasnt tol tall but had beautiful dark blond curls. I caught myself a few times stealing glances. I couldnt help it. He was too attractive.
Sometimes I thought he was looking in my direction as well, but that was probably not the case.
„Does anybody want anything more to drink?“, Joel asked while he got up and I immediately ordered a strong drink. I wanted to loosen up and be a part of this conversation.
Karo got up to help him with his drinks and suddenly i was alone with five men.
Thank god they are bringing strong alcohol, i thought and started to bounce my leg out of nervousness.
„You’ve been awfully quit the whole time, did we do something wrong?“, one asked I thought he was called Tommi and I shook my head.
„No I’m just really nervous around new people, that is all“, i apologized and looked at them apologetic.
In this moment the other two came back with our drinks and I downed half of mine.
That maybe wasnt my smartest decision in life.
The drink helped me. Maybe a bit too much.
I started ro engage in conversations and soon learned that these guys were really lovely.
After two more hours of drinking and just enjoying each others company Karo and I decided that it was time to go back to our hotel. We had sightseeing planned for the next day and we shouldnt be completly hungover for that.
The guys offered to walk us home, as it was already late and they claimed they had to.
The walk was only five minutes and I was a bit sad. The guys were amazing and the cute guy was well… just very intresting.
„Thanks for bringing us home!“, Karo told them.
„Yeah since you guys are here for a week we should hang out again soon! Here let me give you my number I will make a group chat“, Joel said and already pulled out an Edding to write his phone number on Karos arm.
This vacation would be very intresting.
#olli matela#blind channel#imagines#good music#musicians#tommi lalli#joonas porko#joel hokka#niko vilhelm#aleksi kaunisvesi#alex mattson#blind channel imagines#blind channel fanfition#scenarios
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Probably because you guys are absolutely twisting what Kahlem has said into something she hasn't said. She literally said she supported you guys and you deserve equal rights. You guys are throwing hissy fits over being able to say ACAB, which cursing has always been against the rules, and not having a same sex leaf/pride items, and then twisting it to be Kahlem is a homophobe in which she is not.
*cracks knuckles* ok let's do this
First of all, what words are being twisted? She never said she supports the LGBT community. She was asked several times to say the specific words "I support the LGBT community and believe they should have equal rights" and she never said it. She just kept saying everyone was welcome on Mweor. Those are not the same thing. There's no valid reason to not say specifics.
"But she was being bullied into saying it!"
If you asked me if I think homeless puppies should be given a home, or that kids with cancer should get medical support, or whatever else and told me to say those things word for word, I'm not going to get pissy and tell you no and say I'm being bullied. I might be concerned that my stance on those issues wasn't clear! But I'd still say it. It's not bullying to ask someone to speak up.
You shouldn't NEED any level of force to say something that should be very much be supported. The fact that she danced around a human rights question, considered being asked to answer the question bullying, and then NEVER made the actual statement we wanted is exactly what happened and if she won't tell us verbatim that she specifically supports our community and our rights NOT just our use of her website that she makes at LEAST a year's worth of minimum wage on per year as profit alongside her actual sources of income then what else are we supposed to assume? Words and actions correlate anon.
A company will not say it doesn't want x minority buying their product because they want to profit off of them, but that doesn't mean they're not supporting people and other businesses who directly lead to the hurt and discrimination against said minority.
Nobody is twisting her words, we made a pretty fucking easy conclusion based on logic, our experiences as a community historically, what we DO know about Kahlem, and just common sense.
Give me one good reason why you wouldn't specifically say you supported a marginalized group if you actually did support them. Explain to me how a simple request being repeated over and over is bullying. Explain why she wouldn't comply before it even became a big deal.
Next, I don't know why you're throwing this out to me because A I never posted ACAB anywhere on the site and said in an answer I understand why using the acronym caused warnings. You're lumping all of us into one group and not bothering to read anything anyone is saying to you because you made your mind up a long time ago yet still have the gall to pretend you're being rational and logical when you refuse to absorb a single word of new information that doesn't support your opinion.
I already discussed my stance on the ACAB issue and what the actual problem with it was, so you're welcome to search for it in the tag it shouldnt be too far down. I'm sure you won't though because you're just baiting.
Also, again, I dont give a fuck about the items. I don't make pairs. I suck at it and don't like my mweors looking similar. I would have likely never used the breeding leaf to begin with. Pride items are cute and should exist, but they don't fit my aesthetic and I don't even use the Lioden ones and likely wouldn't use any on Mweor either.
You once again have made a broad stroke assumption that this is about items. It isnt. The problem is it took several years for her to address one of if not the most supported suggestions on the site and only chose to when someone tipped her off thay people were sick of 0 transparency from her and felt her utter lack of engagement with the site and it's posts showed her inability to run the site efficiently.
Derivative from that were the years old rumors of her homophobia fostered by the furry paws incident which stoked fear that she was denying the leaf for homophobic reasons. Then she decided she couldnt say she supported the lgbt community. Dots are connected. It doesn't take a detective to see how this all correlates
And best for last, her husband. Yeah, people who aren't racist, homophobic, ableist, and otherwise bigoted morons LOVE neonazis! Her marrying someone who posts and is active in neonazi communities and the horrible branches of their beliefs is pretty obvious evidence she is at least ambivalent to these issues which is just as wrong as actively engaging.
This information is laid out everywhere for you. Again, I'm not going to keep repeating myself. If you have specific questions you are welcome to ask, but if you're going to decide my stance on everything and ignore easily accessible answers then you're clearly sealioning and I'm not going to waste anymore time trying to get information into your thick skull. If you don't think shes in the wrong, fine, but you're not convincing anyone else here of that and frankly I don't give a frogs fat ass
#mweor#mweor drama#can you guys read#like can you actually read#not even trying to be mean this is all right there
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FGOx MDZS -Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation fan Event Part 1
inspired by
@chunghee22
Goodnight Chaldea Event Idea.
The Grandmaster of Demonic cultivation Event
* This Event uses Fanservants that I’ve made and some a Friend who also allows me to use his fan servants so I’ll Link to thier profiles .
** I’ve also Written a short Story of how the Intro would go With Ming ,My Master OC- https://fatelotusorder.tumblr.com/post/653448785568071680/stuff-for-people-who-dont-know-mdzs-or-the
Introduction : ” Wei Wuxian is Dead!” The People cried in a joyous uproar. In the mist of Celebration not everyone was happy ” The Evil Bastards dead !” … or was he.
13 years after the death of the evil Yiling patriarch The world of Cultivation is experiencing something strange , A sudden increased in hostile Creatures , The corpses of loved ones coming back to life , Animals and Plants rapidly turning into Monsters or Fae.People becoming Demons these incidents have Sky rocketed .
This era of the Cultivation world should’ve been hectic but, these are way beyond the Level this Era should have. What’s causing this? Whose causing this ? and Why are they doing this ?
Summary
After being sent to the Singularity We actually start with Lu Zhishen and Lin Chong walking through the Dafan mountains looking for Master, Cao Cao ,Xiaohun Dun . You have gotten caught by nets that keep Cao Cao and Xiaohun Dun from Cutting themselves out. As a man in purple steps out the forest. He was about to cut you out the traps until you fumble and mention Cao Cao’s Name. Since Cao Cao and Xiaohun Dun have been long since been dead . The man in Violet Robes accuses you of practicing Demonic Cultivation.
How eles could you have the Cao Cao in his( Well her ) Prime with you ?
Lin Chong and Lu Zhisen arrive to See you being interrogated by The Violet robed man as they take notice that the Violet Robed man looks like Wu Song one of the 108 stars but assumes that he is an Ancestor or A look alike before engaging him in a battle .
While thats going on a man in White cuts You down as two boys help down Cao Cao and Xiaohun Dun . The Man in white is Dumbfounded seeing Lin Chong Slammed down the man in purple knocking him out. Lin Chong makes a comment about how the 108 stars said “Half up style wouldnt catch on . “ Before hearing Screaming from the Forest as a another man in purple comes running through the forest dragging a unconscious Kid in yellow Robes behind him by his Ponytail “ I finally found You, ya Damn Alter! Take your annoying piece of Shit with ya “. The man in violet was about wake up but, the young man in yellow was Thrown at his head knocking him out .
Lin Chong and Lu Zhisen recognize this Man as Wu Song as The Man in white is Puzzled as Cao Cao Reassures they’ll be Debriefed on the Sitaution , The Man in white introduces himself as Lan Zhan ans the Younger boys Introduce themselves as Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui . Jingyi and Sizhui then introduce the Lad in yellow as Jin Ling and the Man in Purple as his Uncel Jiang Cheng and reveal why they were here to see about a cursed Goddess staute . Then Guy in black stumbles out the brush and is introduced as Mo Xuanyu , Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling wake up and its off the Goddess statue .
You play through The Story of Mo Dao Zu Shi up to the Start of the Events of Yi city will though it’s a bit off as you discover servants being used that shouldnt there and tons upon tons of creatures in volumes that should be impossible at this point and time . You start experiencing past memories of mainly Lan Zhan , A man you had to assume is” Mo Xuanyu “and Jiang Cheng in your Dreams.
These Memories seem normal to the past of the novel at First until the Burial mounds after “ Mo Xuanyu” or His actaully Idenity Wei Ying aka Wei Wuxian and that’s when when the memory dreams of Lan Zhan’s and Jiang Cheng‘s start diverting from the Timeline . When you speak to both of them they seemed confused about your recollection of events as During the Siege it was dark yes but there was no moon out during the time of the first Seige and Jiang Cheng informs the master that Jin Ling is an only child and that Yanli wasnt pregnant when she was killed . You and your Servants come to Conclusion that someone is messing with the timeline in a different manner . The part one ends When The Juniors Run in and to everyone shock and horror they’re starting to turn Transparent .
Event servant -
Jin Ling &Fairy (Archer )
Limited Servants ( For part 1 Gacha)
5 stars
Caster- “ Mo Xuanyu “(Wei Wuxian )
Archer- Lan Zhan
Saber - Wu song
4 Stars
Avenger - Jiang Cheng
Beserker - Wen Ning
3 star
Assassin - Nie Huaisang
Caster - Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui
New Limited Costumes
* these Costumes are Special cause They could be wore Either Multiple or Every Servant and some would have special variants unrealistic yes But would be cool You bet you bottom dollar.
***Any more Idea for Speical variants for specfic servants are Welcome .
Qinghe Nie Disciple
Kintoki had a Special variant that exposed half his Chest
Penth variant has her chest and abs fully exposed with Bandages wrapped around her chest and top half of the robes draped over her waist
Lanling Jin Disciple
Xiang Yu has variant that Resembles Jin Zixuan
Prince of Lanling has a variant resembling Jin Ling
Yunmeng Jiang Disciple
Raikou has Speicial Variant that looks more like Jiang Yanli in the Untamed
Wu Zetian has a Speical Variant looking like Yu Ziyuan
Consort Yu has a Variant that Resembles Jiang Yanli‘s Wedding outfit but mixed with her normal clothes.
Monsters excluvise to this Event
( Insert Sect) Disciple
Qi Deviated ( Insert Sect) Disciple
Qi Deviantion has cause some of these Cultivators to start going insane from the symptoms.
Fierce Corpse
Are they Ghost or Zombie they seem like zombies?
stiff Fierce Corpse
these are more akin to Jiang Shi
( insert sect) Fierce corpse
a fierce corpse made from a disciple of a Different Sect
Dog Fae
Snake Monster
Killer Rabbits
Event Items
Sect symbols
Nie - Qinghe Nie symbol looks like some kinda of beast .
Jin - Lanling Jin‘s Symbol looks like a Peony .
Jiang - Yunmeng Jiangs Sect Symbol Looks like a lotus .
Extra Notes
- this Event Plays out like Guda Guda final Honnoji mixed with Guda Guda 2 two factions trying to claim land and Depending on which on You chose and who ever has the most Land By a certian time Effects the story outcome slightly .
- So Revelation that Someone is messing around in the past is Inspired by My Malice toward Time Travel fix it Fanfic in the MDZS Fandom a lot of which follow the Same plots. Someone goes back in time to keep the bad events in MDZS from happening so everyone is happy and there no sideeffects from Preventing this bad stuff From happening or a twist Like nothing changed at all .
- With part 2 being The Master, and crew going back to various places in the Past of MDZS to prevent the History Changes from happening and Making the original timeline Disappear forever.
- Wu Song and Jiang Cheng get alot a bonding moments as he goes with Yunmeng Jiang group Regardless of your decision .
- Aleast one Address the rocky Relationship between Wei Wuxian , Him and Lan Zhan . As a Foil to Wu Song , Lu Zhisen and Lin Chong more close relationship.
- especially during The Days when Lin Chong was Paralyzed .
- The Jiang Cheng and Wu song getting Mistaked for Each other is an inside Joke cause Wu Song‘s design was thought up before I had even heard about MDZS and the Desgin I had in mind looked really similar to Jiang Cheng . The only difference being clothes, Wu Song being Slightly darker and Hairstyles as Wu Song has a Bun with the rest of his hair in a long braid . JC just has a bun.
- The Shopkeeper would be ” Mo xuanyu” or Wen Ning.
#mo dao zu shi#fgo#fate servants#fate go#fan servant#fgo fate grand order#fate grand order#fate series#lan zhan#lan wangji#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#wei wuxian#wei ying#wen ning#mo xuanyu#the juniors#jiang cheng#alternate timeline
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While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.
under here
AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.
i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.
i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc
i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.
so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.
i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.
it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.
the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.
i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.
#replies#this got long so i threw it under a cut#i just like wrote as i was thinking too in between ovw sry lol#Anonymous
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she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛
she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?
im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.
I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?
she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.
if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.
please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.
as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.
if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?
i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.
no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way
ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.
even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.
maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.
the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.
when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring
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I had a thought and tumblr just seemed like the best place to put it because it's where I have the largest following and spend the most time so heres this sorry in advance for not being able to add a cut as I'm on mobile
I have spent 8 years on this site. That's almost half of my life. I joined when I was 13, I'll be 21 in a couple months, and I'm still here. It's the best place for me to be a part of fandoms and to get content catered to my interests so I stay. This isnt really what this post is about, but I figured I'd lay out some backstory as a contextualization of how long this has been happening.
I didnt think about it a lot it until recently, but I'm really just not use to seeing any parts of myself represented in the media I like
This all started because I got into The Magnus Archives and saw some fanart of Martin. It was great fanart, but the artist had drawn Martin as a chubbier guy and my first thought was "huh. Never thought Martin would be chubby."
And then I stopped to think about that
I'm a plus sized woman, I have been all my life. Yet for all my years of watching and listening to and reading things, engaging in fandom, I never picture characters as plus sized or chubby or really anything other than skinny unless its explicitly stated
And it kinda dawned on me that I did this because I figured, well, these characters werent allowed to be chubby. That would be bad. And they're not bad, so they must be thin.
Which is bullshit
I'm not a bad person because I'm fat, I'm just fat. And that's okay because I try to eat right and get some exercise where I can and have been working to better myself lately but even if I weren't doing that it wouldnt mean I'm bad
But you dont see plus sized people depicted in media very often unless they're comic relief and many plus sized comic relief characters grated on me for my life so I always assumed that meant it was bad
This lead me to thinking about my relationship with other bits of representation in the media I consume. I'm half asian and half hispanic, yet I always picture characters as white unless explicitly stated. I'm ace but I always feel bad headcanoning characters I like as ace because why would they be ace, they're normal?
The closest I get to representation in media is the fact that cis, straight females are in media but more often then not they're white and skinny and they're heterosexual not heteromantic
And I'm so used to that that trying to imagine characters that look like me or have my same backgrounds or same sexual orientation feels wrong. It feels like it's not allowed.
Which is dumb. I know its dumb, that's why I'm writing all of this out to submit to the void that is tumblr dot com to whatever followers I have that will read through this
This line of thinking is starting to change how I perceived the things I enjoy. I've been entrenched in fandom since I was 13, it's not going to stop any time soon. But I think this will allow me to start picturing more characters that look like me, that have similar backgrounds to me, that are ace like me. Even if it's not stated explicitly.
Because if nothing is stated explicitly or implied in any way, why shouldnt I picture someone more like me?
#this is just a ramble im sorry#and obviously this is about characters where traits like size and race and stuff arent stated or implied in any way#im not going to be erasing any stated/implied identities#that would be bad™️#and i dont want to do that#also i think this is the most personal information ive given out about myself on this site#which is a wild thought for a ramble post
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I haven’t posted in a while. But I have a lot on my mind tonight. If you end up reading all of this, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
For about five years, I was in a relationship with this man. Him and I were madly in love. Or so I thought. We got gotten engaged and had spent two years as fiancés. It wasn’t until 5 weeks before our wedding on a Sunday night, he broke things off.
I was hurt. I was heartbroken. I was about to start forever with this man, and he threw it away five weeks before hand. I was angry. I spent the first days crying so much that my eyes had started to swell shut. I didn’t understand why something like this had to happen to me.
It’s been about a month since this happened, and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect. I’ve come to realize this was a blessing in disguise. Here’s why:
In the last two years, he had started to change. He had always done some things I didn’t agree with, but I tolerated them because I loved him. However, he just started to do more and more things. He first started with weed. Then weed turned into acid and mucinex. Then that turned into cigarettes and dab pens and vapes. Then that turned into drinking heavily. The love of my life was no longer mine and mine alone. For in addition to me, he was also in love with drugs. For those who have never seen drugs change someone you love, you are blessed beyond words. It broke my heart, it still breaks my heart. He became more irritable when he didn’t get his fix. He wasn’t as patient and kind-hearted as the man I once knew. I still loved him immensely. But it hurt me to do so. The crowd he had immersed himself into started to take more and more of his time, they took him farther and farther away from me. For the last two years I felt as if I was in a battle. It was either his friends and his lifestyle, or me. In the end, I lost. Now here’s the kicker. I had actually met him at a VBS at our home church. At the time, I wasn’t a Christian. I started going regularly to see him. Through this, I eventually came to Christ. I thought he was a Christian, until I found out he wasn’t, or at least wasn’t the Christian everyone thought he was. We would go to church events, where sometimes the topic would be making sure you’re in a godly relationship. I knew I wasn’t. I would feel God’s thumb on my back to do something about it, but I always ignored it. I loved my man. I couldn’t leave him. Throughout our relationship I felt like I was constantly sacrifcing. My happiness, my faith, my time, etc etc. I had come to Christ, but I couldn’t bring him with me. I sacrificed so much of my devotion to Christ for him. Going farther than I ever wanted. I never drank or did any drugs, but I still did things I know I shouldnt. I drifted so far from God to stay so close to him. As I sit here reflecting, I realized I was never asking too much. I was asking the wrong person. A person addicted to drugs. Who was running with the wrong crowd. Who had strayed from God and was taking me with him. I realize now that because I would’ve never taken the steps I needed to save myself, God took them for me. I wouldn’t leave him, so God took him away to protect me. This is a time to come back to my faith, to rebuild my relationship and trust with Jesus, and to grow as a Christian and as a person. There’s no telling how things would’ve ended up had God not intervened. I’m so thankful for his faithfulness tonight and his protection of his children. 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋Advice to anyone in a similar situation: if this post speaks to you in anyway, please do what you need to protect yourself and your faith. Never compromise yourself and your relationship with Jesus for a guy. You will find the right one who loves Jesus and loves you. You will find the one whom your soul loves. 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
#christian#christianity#christiantumblr#relationship#jesuslovesme#jesusfreak#jesuschrist#godiskind#godisking#godisgracious#godisgood#religion#love#boyfriend#girlfriend#marriage#godly#godlylove#church
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I'm sorry to have come off the way I did. I know sending this doesn't help, but that's alright. It's the last one I'll ever send. Thanks for everything.
jesus christ verax, “…come off the way i did?”
you told me you wrote three chapters of the sci-fi book you have been eagerly working on and i went LITERALLY, SOLELY “that’s amazing! congrats!” and your immediate response was to tell me you wouldn’t show me it (fyi: i wasn’t asking) when it’s published because something something doxxing yourself to me AND THEN go on to verbosely wax poetic over the course of a few paragraphs about me as a perverse, doxxed spectacle entertainment de jour for KF and refer to my fucking parents’ careers in the midst of that (?>??>?THE FUCK??!?!!) and opine on whatever assumed neuroses i have, unprompted, like a complete maladjusted lunatic who doesn’t know how to properly engage with light conversation when it’s presented to you.Thought experiment: You approach your coworker at the winery you stress over and go “hey i did this thing with my darling GF” and they go “cool! sounds lovely!” but then you go on about how you shouldnt go into depth about it because you looked into your coworker’s life, telling him about his family tree you know about and how you don’t want to be similarly rendered an open book for telling him about that thing you did with the darling GF.” The coworker stares back at you with wide eyes like they just crossed paths with a psychopath. That’s how you often come across.
yes i may be a fucking virtual tranny this or that, one you have told that you want to save from that path (via harassment? oh, please), but at least I’m capable of responding to people online without flying into a vaguely threatening assessment of their undisclosed family details among other completely anti-social weird shit only people in the deepest sociopathic tesseract would. At least I converse like a normal, adjusted human being and not like every fucking interaction is some insane game of 4D chess you have to project your life’s stress and anger onto.
I hope you realize that me unblocking you and continuing on and off conversations with you after all that shit was something motivated by curiousity and pity towards you because it felt like you really lacked and needed someone to lean into and find solace in, given the way you had a meltdown over me blocking you in the first place. I actually ENJOY helping and massaging out people’s anxieties and you are no exception to that. Only now do i realize it is self harm to put myself out there for you, only for you to continuously harass me or dehumanize me. Jesus Christ.
Your zoomer christian saviour complex aside, you are antisocial to the core, perhaps sociopathic (as i mentioned) from your unability to separate the computer screen from the conscious beings responding to you on it. You being able to nonchalantly list doxx about me alongside unwarranted, ill informed psychological assessments to an unsettling degree of unprecedented privacy invasion – Least we all forget, that this is in response for telling you it was awesome to hear about your accomplishment – does not mean you know me as a friend, let alone me as a person.
Actually, you telling me you are 22 or whatever was quite illuminating as it explains your immaturity and inability to readily empathize or function as an full adult. Besides all that, the age gulf (not too hard for you to look up, im sure!) should indicate to you why I’m so fucking busy with wild work schedules while you leave literally 50 messages every time you come home to compulsively drink your unpacked, rammed down, issues away, begging for my attention, singing every time you see my activity go from online to away to the degree that you begin to fill my notifications with how you welcome and speak to the “green dot” as a substitute for me while im preoccupied.
I don’t want to be out being made your adoptive e>mother who you can berate and feel rest assured she won’t bite back out of unconditional love or whatever.
“ah, i knew to worry about you posting my doxx” you might be thinking rn. I hope you realize I only return the fucking favour, my guy. You speak to me as this spectacle you can freely taunt over, so here I am making a spectacle of you because you brought it to my inbox, your distress at me blocking you again.
If you are wondering why I resist calling you my friend, it’s because of annoying, disrespectful shit like this, that the level we have talked until tonight is predicated on me rolling my eyes and letting your dumb shit roll off my back. This friendship you have begged me to affirm and reassure to you as existing since you were so fraught over feeling that I was this unreciprocated friend to you… this is the absolute state of it.
However, aS yOuR mOtHeR I suppose i have to hold your hand thru explaining that friendships are built on trust and mutual respect. Guess which side of the mutual is to blame for my reluctance at hand. You actually have to put in effort to earn it, at least to a fraction of the degree you seem to put into discovering parts of my life I haven’t yielded to you like I’m some fucking viral marketing ARG.
You are so fucking exhausting. I truly hope you are not at all who you present yourself on the internet, for your and everyone’s sake. You probably also project your work stress onto everything and everyone else, it feels like. If not already, then once I’m out of your life as your negativity sponge.
Ah, and before I move on to more productive shit: Like you apologize after the fact here, but this is a pattern of yours. Only able to conceptualize you hurt others until after you are smacked upside the head.
Think about that.
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i feel we should examine the whole idea of “do spoilers matter” or not at a deeper level then ‘people who complain about spoilers are annoying so spoiler warnings are stupid’. like the idea that a lot of you guys seem to have of “if having the plot spoiled ruins the movie for you then the plot wasnt any good anyways” seems sort of... not fully wrong but also underdeveloped to me. like, there are tons and tons and tons of stories that are widely considered to be amazing and have clear artistic merit that you absolutely wouldn’t want spoiled. Like, you wouldnt want to know darth vader was lukes father. you wouldnt want to know bruce willis was a ghost the whole time. For drama to be effective you need tension, and a very very efficient way of keeping the audience engaged is by putting them in a mindset where they’re unsure of what will happen next, or by revealing a game-changing plot twist, or by suddenly putting a character into an unexpected position. It seems totally disingenuous to me to be like ‘well it shouldnt matter to the audience whether or not they get to be surprised by what happens in the film they’re watching’. You can’t honestly believe that to be true. Being able to be surprised by a story is like one of the fundamental draws of good storytelling and probably has been for all of human history. Imagine how much worse US or Get Out or any Shakespeare play would be if you knew exactly where the plot would go before you saw it. I know there’s some research that suggests people actually enjoy stuff more if they already know what will happen but you can cast a lot of doubt on that data-- i think that it indicates more that people are more likely to appreciate a good plot once they understand it more thoroughly, hence why you might like a great movie more the second time you watch it. That doesnt mean there isnt value in the first time, it’s just a different way of viewing it.
All that said, the stuff with people not wanting spoilers for endgame has different wrinkles to it. (dont worry im not about to spoil anything). It can’t all be chalked up to ‘people care super deeply about the characters and plot and the writing is always so unpredictable and engaging that they dont want to know a single thing before going in’. Ive spent a lot of time recently thinking about the way infinity war and endgame are constructed, and they’re made in such a way that REALLY facilitates them being ‘spoiled’. because they’re written around moments. The plot isn’t so much a naturally moving thing with motivations and momentum of its own as much as a connective tissue between various cool things happening. Like, whoa, spider-man just met the guardians of the galaxy. oh sick, theyre in wakanda. holy shit, half of them died. Endgame goes REAAAAAALLY hard on this style of writing. And as a method of milking emotion from the audience, it really really works. Assuming the moments themselves are all effective, you’re guaranteeing constant engagement because every three minutes another epic thing is gonna happen. And I think when people fault marvel fans for being obsessed with spoiler warnings, this style of filmmaking is really what they’re trying to critique. because there’s a suggestion that if your movie is just jumping from crazy twist to shocking death to funny reference to epic fight, you’re losing the thing that should actually be the connective tissue of a film-- its themes, character arcs, ideas, setting... etc. And while I personally don’t think those things are mutually exclusive, (bc i do believe that infinity war and endgame genuinely have themes they try to discuss), i would also agree with the argument that reliance on shocking moments over actual ideas is bad writing. But as I mentioned earlier, a filmmaker like Jordan Peele whose works are generally agreed to be very good also uses this writing style-- his plots escalate via twists and turns and are expertly constructed to keep the audience wondering what’ll happen next, and he does a really great job with it.
Now, i DEFINITELY think there’s an argument for ‘disney intentionally plays up the spoiler warning angle in a way that’s ultimately toxic to the filmmaking process’. Like I don’t believe that the “tom holland doesnt get to read the script” stuff is true, I 100% think it’s all a publicity stunt-- but they shouldnt be setting a precedent that makes people think doing something like that to a lead actor is acceptable. It’s not how films should be made, and the only reason I’m sure its all fake is because I have enough filmmaking experience to know itd literally be impossible to efficiently shoot a big-budget film under those conditions. Of course all the buzz about endgame spoilers is HUGELY beneficial to their marketing teams, so obviously they’re gonna go hard as hell on enforcing that narrative. Like they 100% WANT everyone to both be spoiling the movie and getting anxious about having the movie spoiled, because its all free advertising for them. But in terms of ‘big movie studios having greedy practices that harmfully affect the artistic process and make their films worse’, its incredibly low on the list of bad stuff that studios do imo.
So, like, if you’re gonna critique all the various aspects of that, I think you should A) put your efforts towards exposing all the spoiler panic through the lens of how it affects the way that films are produced and consumed, or B) put your efforts towards analyzing the media itself, watch the film and ask ‘is this film more engaging and well-made because of its reliance on moments that can be spoiled? If no, why is that not working? If yes, is that engagement coming at a cost or is it justified?
Essentially, I’d like to feel that the criticism was either coming from a social angle or an artistic one. And if that were the case I think i’d have less of an issue with it. Just saying “people are dumb for caring about spoilers” is silly. Maybe it’s dumb, but that’s not the point. People will consume media however they want to and if they want to care about spoilers then they have a right to care. You guys aren’t wrong if you think marvel shit is stupid and badly made, because art is subjective and no opinion on it is wrong. But other people also aren’t wrong for liking and caring about it, and being like ‘we should spoil it for them to teach them a lesson” is gross and totally unproductive. I know 99% of it is jokes but you gotta remember that some people have spent a very long time being very excited to see this movie and doing something that wrecks that for them is just mean and inconsiderate. It’s not about whether them feeling that way is stupid or not, because yeah, it’s stupid to be that invested in superhero movies. It’s about it not being cool to intentionally hurt someone just because you can. And the reason i don’t have a lot of tolerance for it is because I feel like saying “caring about spoilers is stupid” is a kneejerk, surface level attempt at media criticism and we can do better. I obviously care pretty deeply about the way we consume and criticize pop culture and i think it’s in everyone’s benefit to have more productive discourse about this stuff. No ill will towards my friends who are saying the things that i’m ragging on, i obviously don’t think it’s coming from a malicious place or anything-- this is just my read on the situation. Was gonna post this like two days ago but then decided someone would prob message me a spoiler because of it lol
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Reasons why my life is a fanfic
I dated my roommate fall semester freshman year of college. I was literally the “And they were roommates” vine.
He was set to inherit part of his father’s manufacturing company, so I would have been pretty comfortable if we stayed together.
Said roommate then started dating the Resident Adviser (an upperclassman over our hall for those of you that don’t have them)
I then got said RA fired cause I'm petty and found out they started shit while I was dating the ex in question.
I got engaged early 2018 to someone I'd been in love with since I met them. But we were only marrying so I could have his health insurance. He didn't know I was in love with him. But then drama happened, so it got called off.
I'm now engaged to the same friend again, but this time I'm not in love with him. (Edit: still in love with him just in denial)
New years eve party 2019 I finally got with someone I was interested in two years before and then realized he wasn’t that good.
While my mother was in the hospital I found the cute charge nurse for our floor on Grindr and hooked up. Then he caught feelings and I bailed.
Because of my mother being in the hospital among other reasons, decided to do the semester online rather than go back to campus, and a whole lot of fuckery ensued.
Such as reconnecting with three people I've almost dated in the past and finding out they're all still in love with me.
But not being on campus for a semester meant drifting from a guy I had been really interested in dating eventually. Still feel bad about that.
I once dated someone that went on to get... third place in a season of American idol? Then got blamed for them losing 😒😒😒 cause we broke up partway through the contest cause they were cheating on me. (I'm not gonna put their name or even gender out cause I'd rather not be connected to them.)
Also dated another person that a few years after we lost touch went on to be the bassist for a band that became reasonably popular for a bit before fading to obscurity.
My mother's family used to own all of the land that would become Austin, TX. And that was the poorer side of the family.
But because of cousins cheating my side of the family out of inheritances through the generations and then my mother's poor decisions we're now the poor family.
My grandmother's maiden name was Towles, which was originally Towle, as in Towle Silver. And that wasn’t even the main part of the family’s wealth.
A bit further back in my mother's ancestry are the Bell family. If you've heard of the Bell Witch of Tennessee, you've heard of my many times great grandmother Elizabeth "Betsie" Bell.
My mother was engaged to the then-heir-now-owner of Johnson & Johnson at one point.
Mother was a serial fiancee. She was engaged more times than years shes been alive (she's in her 50s) and hardly remembers any of them.
I've been engaged to... 3 different people? Only cause I usually jump ship before they get the idea in their head to propose.
My maternal grandmother found out that my grandfather had two different wives in other states (he worked for the railroad. Ended up being a multimillionaire before he died) and told him never to step foot in her city again or she'd take him to court for every penny he had (she was the first wife and had two kids by him) but refused to ever divorce him.
His horses were mentioned in his obituary but not my mother or her brother. I think only the two daughters he had by his most recent wife were mentioned out of all of his kids.
My mother's godfather was a hitman. And a few of her cousins were part of the drug side of the mafia. But we don't have anything to do with them anymore.
My mothers first husband was abusive. She hit him so hard with a frying pan that the vibrations in it caused her to drop it. The handle broke when it hit the floor.
She repeatedly beat the same husband's head into the bar of a fold out couch so hard that the bar went from bending slightly upwards to downwards.
Mentioned this in another post, but when I was kidnapped by my own father at the age of 6, my mother called said cousins and had new identities, jobs, and housing set up for us as well as transportation and an extraction team set to kill everyone and rescue me. Thankfully it didn’t have to come to that.
Going back to the Bell thing, supposedly my mothers family have been a long line of mediums, psychics, etc. At least one person in each generation is born with an innate ability to see/commune with spirits or get visions.
It's probably partially because of that I ended up practicing magic as well. Being a witch counts as a reason my life is a fanfic right? Lol
First time I went to a beach (while kidnapped, but before it was revealed I wasn’t going to be returned home) I got lost in the ocean. I was underwater for 10 minutes before washing up on shore perfectly fine.
I've fallen through two ceilings and been perfectly fine. One time I fell right next to a set of stairs. Is this plot armor?
Honestly the sheer amount of times I’ve come within a hair’s breadth of dying or, logically, should have died is insane and many of my friends now believe me to be immortal.
I wasn’t supposed to have been born. My mother was prone to miscarriages and due to scar tissue shouldn’t have even been able to conceive anymore. Plus she went into labor with me at 18 weeks, but they managed to stall it till I was born at 32 weeks.
They thought I had cystic fibrosis when I was a wee baby and thus didn’t expect me to live. Turns out I just had really really bad allergies.
Some people believe me to be the reincarnation of my grandmother. I look and act just like her, even have the same taste preferences for the most part, am named after her in two ways, was conceived a week or two after she died, and my original due date was her birthday. Which, just like when she was born, fell on mother’s day that year.
I was born in the middle of March in the American South. What began as rain turned to snow as I was born, and even accumulated enough for my elder siblings to go play out in it.
I have a collagen disorder that, while making me extra flexible, also means I'm prone to injuries, have a poor immune system, could spontaneously have an organ rupture, have spinal issues, bad knees and hips, etc. Also causes migraines and could be a possible cause of my mental illnesses.
Almost every best-friend I've had growing up had admitted to being in love with me. The other two or three admitted to crushing on me.
Despite being the exact opposite kind of person you would expect to be, I was at the top of the social ladder in high school. I was openly LGBT, an art kid, and one of the nerds, but because I was fairly charismatic and great at manipulating authority I had the backing of almost everyone both in the student body and the faculty. Anyone that had a problem with me couldn't act against me without having almost everyone turn against them. It was nice.
I have an unhealthy addiction to coffee. Surely that's a requirement for relatable fanfic protags.
#reasons my life is a fanfic#I swear none of this is made up guys#ask any of my friends#sussiekitten has heard all of this in the past as I rant about my life#so have i-is-pengui and shortangrytsundere#my life is wild#I should really turn this into a book#or at least some of it#gods know there's enough drama and sheer fuckery#fanfic#fanfic tropes#why does my computer not think relatable is a word#personal#my life
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