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sourcherryandsprinkles · 2 days

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Heyoo can I request modern au aegon ii x reader with prompt 19 "you're my favorite person" where aegon is the golden retriever vibe in the relationship and reader is the black cat vibe and he gets jealous when he sees her connecting with Daeron but she reassures him with prompt 19 (if you're up for it, you can add smut but no biggie!)

Thank you!

I took another turn with Daeron, but kept the black cat/golden retriever dynamic

Warnings: inappropriate flirting (from Daeron)

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

‘’I need to start looking for an apartment,’’ Aegon grumbled as he came back to his bedroom, frustrated by the crowded house.

Everyone was back home for the summer, much to Aegon’s annoyance. Aemond and Helaena were back from college, and Daeron from boarding school. Despite the house's size, it felt cramped and easy to invade someone's space.

He settled into bed and leaned in to kiss you, but you pushed his shoulder. His lips formed a pout, silently begging for a kiss. You sighed and gave in, pecking him sweetly.

‘’You said that when it was winter break…and spring break. Yet, you’re still here,’’ you reminded him, taking a strawberry from the bowl he just brought.

Moving out and getting his own place sounded nice, but Aegon was too comfortable at home. There were no bills to pay, no cleaning to do, and no cooking required—mainly because he didn't know how to cook anything other than plain pasta or toast. Moving out would mean living alone. His parents might be too in his business sometimes, but it was better than solitude.

‘’Because when I asked you to move in with me you said ‘no’,’’ Aegon countered, settling back against his pillows.

You sighed, not feeling like having this conversation again. Your family wasn’t poor, but you and Aegon were not from the same social class. He was very privileged compared to you. His dad pulled strings to get him a full scholarship and got him a paid internship while you were working at the bookstore part-time at minimum wage.

‘’Where’s the melted chocolate to dip them in?’’ you asked, your eyes searching for the bowl.

Aegon groaned. ‘’Shit. I forgot it on the counter…’’

‘’I’ll go get it,’’ you said, standing up and heading towards the door.

You walked down the hallways and downstairs to the kitchen when you found the bowl of melted chocolate exactly where Aegon had left it. You grabbed it and saw it was not melt-y enough so you put it back in the microwave. While you were waiting, Daeron came through the sliding doors, shirtless and hair wet from being in the pool.

‘’Hey there,’’ he said, grinning. ‘’I didn’t know you were here.’’ Daeron leaned against the counter, appreciating your choice of clothing for the day. ‘’What are you doing?’’

‘’Reheating the chocolate,’’ you replied, glancing at him and then back at the microwave. ‘’Aegon and I are watching movies.’’

Daeron watched as you moved, his inappropriate gaze un-noticed by you. ‘’It’s nice out, you should come swim.’’

You glanced outside, seeing the sun shining bright. ‘’It’s too hot. Maybe later.’’

‘’Hot is good.’’ Daeron locked eyes with you, but you looked away, praying the microwave would beep soon.

Once it did, you quickly grabbed the bowl and stirred the chocolate, not caring that it was hot. ‘’I have to get back to Aegon.’’

As if he had sensed what was going on, Aegon stepped into the kitchen. ‘’What’s taking you so long, babe?’’ he asked, his voice tense when he saw Daeron ogling you.

You looked over to Aegon, chocolate in hand. ‘’Had to melt the chocolate again,’’ you explained. ‘’I was heading back now.’’

You led the way to the stairs, wanting to get out of the kitchen and away from Daeron’s attempt at flirting. You were dating his brother, how did he think this was okay?

Back in the bedroom, Aegon sat down heavily on the bed after closing the door. ‘’What the fuck was that? I can't believe him…’’

‘’It’s fine, Aegon. He was just—’’

‘’It’s not fine. The little shit was staring at your tits through your shirt! These tits are mine.’’

You rolled your eyes. ‘’He’s seventeen. You did the same when you were his age,’’ you said, thankful Aegon didn’t hear what Daeron had said. He would be so mad.

‘’I don’t want his perverted eyes to look at my girlfriend.’’ Aegon pulled you down on his lap, almost making you drop the chocolate.

With your free hand, you cupped his jaw, looking at him closely. ‘’I don’t care who looks at me. I love you.’’ You kissed him, slow and deep until he calmed down from his jealous fit. ‘’You’re my favorite person,’’ you said, leaning your forehead against his.

Your words made Aegon smile, his arms wrapping around you. ‘’You’re mine too.’’

—

House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard@domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios@lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale @mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08 @mymultiveres @secretsthathauntus @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl @darylandbethfanforever9

All and more taglist: @kenqki@hawkegfs@gillybear17@black-rose-29@fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade @mellabella101 @vxnity713 @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart @xyzstar @graceberman3 @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis @katherinejess @rafesgirlstuff @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity @Anouk @nani-2305 @books0fever @papichulo120627 @qardasngan @ghostlyvoidydragon @M0rgans1nterlud3

#aegon targaryen imagine #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #hotd

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venomous-qwille · 12 hours

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A NOTE REGARDING WIKIS AND LORE DOCS

I've mentioned this in Misutamojis before, but just realised there was nothing about it here so:

Please don't create public lore docs or wikis for GITM.

I totally understand that the story is already sprawling and there are a lot of characters to keep track of, but here is my reasoning behind this request:

GITM is still in its very early stages, there is so little that you concretely know about any of the characters/story that it is likely that any character bios people write will be fundamentally incorrect. Same goes for lore about the worldbuilding and the Sight. It's much easier to spread misinfo than fact, and certain stuff in fic is kept deliberately misleading/vague for fun story purposes.

GITM is not a TV show and I am not a showrunner. I am just another DCA fan on the internet who wants to chat about their OCs, I should be allowed to do that without having my every word indexed. To be clear, as I have said many many many many times in the past: people quoting what I say in discord, analysing my casual art/magmas/drabbles, or screencapping casual convos and jokes to pull them apart to dissect details from it makes me really really uncomfortable. If people started screencapping what I say to stick it on a doc for proof of XYZ thing about a character you guys haven't even met yet... I would probably stop interacting on this server point blank. Please imagine how you would feel if people were screenshotting your desktop background to read your filenames so they could theorycraft. That has happened in this server. More than once. Please stop. Your FOMO is not more important than my boundaries.

The intended reading experience for GITM is... reading GITM. Yes sometimes I share my personal headcanons and tidbits for characters, but I promise that all of this stuff will be discovered in fic. I don't want people to learn about Fool's favourite songs from a google doc. I want you to learn about it from GITM. That is why I am writing GITM: to tell you about these characters.

I would like the opportunity to make a GITM wiki myself at some point in the future.

I understand this might be frustrating, I know the lore is overwhelming as it stands. As always, if you have questions about the characters, you are welcome to ask in one of the discussion channels- I don't mind people @ ing me for that- I love talking about GITM! I am always happy to answer new FAQs at length.

#copied this over from the discord #shouldn't have to keep asking but putting this here so hopefully the people making them will see it and stop #qwillechatter #ghost in the machine au #ghost in the machine #gitm au

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just-a-ghost00 · 2 days

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Where is your path taking you?

Images are from Pinterest. I do not own them. The decks used for this reading are the following : Crystals oracle to determine the imagery representing each groups energy, Threads of fate oracle shadow edition, below the surface oracle, White Numen tarot.

Group 1 - Meteorite - Connect to your "star stuff"

If you were drawn to the meteorite, you might consider yourself a starchild. You may have a fascination for stars, astronomy and astrology, science fiction and alien theories. You may find it difficult to connect with people and feel like you belong in a group. You may struggle with your sense of identity. The meteorite oracle card states the following :

" When to use it : When you're looking to conduct more spiritual energy, try Nickel-Iron meteorite. When you're looking to chat with a friend in another galaxy, go with Chrondrite meteorite. When you want to feel aligned to that universal energy that pulsates through everything, try Pallasite meteorite." It feels like you're doubting whether you'll ever find people that are on the same wavelength as you. Well, good news for you. You're getting closer to your soul fam. As you're intuition and connection to the universe are getting stronger, you're able to sense people with whom you may match or your magnetism is doing the trick for you, since you're raising your vibrations. This card also tells me that you may be deepening your connection to the spiritual realm. I'm especially picking up on your ancestry.

Now let's take a look at your other cards. You got the card n° 35 from Below the surface oracle : Oarfish - Be the bigger person. Your kindness is your strength. Here your spirit team is reassuring you on your ability to love and be loved. They're asking you to trust yourself and your qualities. You also got the card n° 34 : Titan triggerfish - Your bold side. Make the first move. Oarfish is a very long fish that adapts well in the depths of oceans. It seems that in different cultures, it is a symbol of misticism, intuition and inner work. It invites you to uncover hidden talents and truths that will help you on your journey. The titan triggerfish is known to be quite protective of its territory and rather aggresive, especially during mating season. Though being bold is a great quality, it shouldn't lead to arrogance and agressivity. Looking at these two cards together, it seems like your journey is taking you to a new territory. You might start a new project, discover a new interest or find a new job that gives you the opportunity to meet your people. Other cards that you have include "dare to dream" and "self love" from the Threads of fate deck. The first card is related to air and the second to water. "Dare to dream" is an invitation to "step wildly into your dreams, to visit them often, to ask them what they need from you". The guidebook insists that though we feel like our dreams are out of reach because we don't know how to reach them, we should still pursue them as dreams coming true is a collaboration between you and the universe. "Show up forthem and they'll show up for you too". To me this also means that lucid dreaming could be a way for you to either manifest these connections faster or to help you identify them when you meet them. Pursuing a dream could very well be the door to new friendships and alliances. Have you ever dreamt of starting your own rock band or publishing a book? Now might be the time to give these dreams more substance by taking a first step towards them. On this card, an eagle's claw is depicted holding tightly to a ruby. The claw is surrounded by Buckthorn. The eagle, the buckthorn and the ruby are symbols of resilience and durability. The Eagle's energy allows you to see clearly through people and situations, to spot the connections between events and people. While the buckthorn helps you deal with external influences that might deter you from following your path, the ruby helps you with the internal factors such as self limiting beliefs. The "self love" card provides a similar meaning as it figures a magestic peacock. Your journey is leading you to a higher perception of yourself and more acceptance of your identity.

It also leads you to success, personal and material accomplishment as well as more opportunities to grow, for your last two cards are the ten of pentacles and the two of wands. On the first card can be seen three animals that resemble white dogs and on the other is a snake. These animals could be reprensentative of the energy of the people you're about to meet. You could be traveling a bit more in the future.

Group 2 - Chrysocolla - Be your own mama.

If you chose this crystal, you may feel quite vulnerable lately and emotionally overwhelmed. You may ask for external validation and help in making decisions for yourself, as you don't trust your ability to be objective and thorough in your analysis of situations and people. You might be in a state of confusion and exhaustion because of someone or something going on in your life. You may feel anxious about the future. Your path is taking you to more control over your life and being your own parent. Meaning that you'll learn to nurture and provide for yourself. You'll learn to be your own mental and emotional suppport, as life may take you away from loved ones. Specifically, I'm picking up on the energy of students or young adults that are leaving the parental home for the first time to pursue their career or studies. It could also be that you're leaving a relationship and being single again scares you. You will be healing your heart chakra on this journey to your independence. Maybe some of you were taught at a very young age that they were unable to live on their own for some reason, that they would always need somebody else to succeed in life. These false and self limiting beliefs became your truth and made you depend on people when in reality you only needed yourself. Looking at your cards, I can tell that your path is taking you to reclaiming your power. Your cards from Below the surface deck are the following : n°23 Coconut Octopus - You're on the right path. Keep going through the in-betweens. n°14 Giant oceanic manta ray - Life is a marathon. Don't burn yourself out in one sprint. I get a strong feeling here that you were manipulated and belittled by people around you, made to feel like you were incompetent or even unstable. That you were worthless, untrustworthy, following the wrong path. Your spirit team is begging you to wake up. "You're not crazy, they are" is what I heard. Your gut feelings are accurate. Your vision of yourself and the world is accurate. Your opinion is valid. You have to keep pushing and keep going. Don't doubt yourself, your skills or your intent. Your mind is clear. People want you to belive otherwise because they are scared of your light, your influence and your power. You mirror back to them their BS and it makes them uncomfortable. The reality is that they dispise themselves more than they dislike you. You have done nothing wrong. Your journey is thus taking you back to clarity and to your inner truth. The octopus is a very clever creature. Its brain functions in ways that are so complex even humans fail to grasp its potential. Your energy is so intense and deep people fear it. You are not to be blamed for their inability to grasp your potential. The giant manta ray invites you to slow down and meditate, to take a few steps back in order to see the bigger picture. It is a symbol of healing, adaptability and focus, as the manta ray is a swift navigator that knows where its going and never loses sight of its destination. The manta ray is also called the "devil fish". People have been misinterpreting its nature which could be something that oftens happen to you. The manta ray highlights the importance of choosing your source of help wisely, if you ever feel the need for external support.

Following these cards are "fate" and "The Magi" from the Threads of fate deck. These two cards are related to the element of Ether. There's a quality to you that people can't grasp. They can't put you in a box basically because you were never meant to fit in one. You are meant to expand and grow beyond anything they could even comprehend. Your path will lead you to great manifestation and a better sight. You could be among the people whose influence in life will be meaningful and well known. You could find your calling in spiritual and divination practices such as tarot, pendulum or chiromancy. Fate and Magi card remind me of Doctor Strange and the multiverse. Similarly to this character, your path may lead you to the awakening of the ability to consider all alternatives and roads to achieve one goal, but also to predict which are likely to be more successful. These cards remind you of the importance of boundaries and the power our actions and words hold. Especially the power and meaning of saying no. The fate card figures an egg resting on a pillow while the Magi shows a hand supporting an eye. It feels like you are currently incubating but soon you will hatch and be able to see the world clearly with your third eye.

Your last two cards are The Chariot and The Empress. The energy of these cards feel welcoming but also extremely powerful. Your path is leading you to stepping into your feminine and leading your life with dignity and grace. The Empress here is depicted as being active contrary to traditional tarot. She stands proud and ready to battle with anyone that would try to dethrone her. She is fierce and with the Chariot in her shadow, she is a force to be reckoned with. She knows where she's heading and will not stop until she reaches her destination. The energies of Cancer and Taurus accompany you on your journey. The Venusian energy of Taurus will help you attract love and nurturing experiences. The lunar energy of Cancer will help you see beyond the veil and understand the threads of fate and their intricate design. You will slowly but surely become the Weaver of your life. Like a manta ray, you will swiftly navigate through shallow waters and like a spider weave your way through the lies and deceit people might want to trap you in.

Group 3 - Rhodochrosite - Soften your heart.

If you selected this group, you may be going through a break up or mourning the loss of a loved one. A situation that was important to you might have ended unexpectedly which left you feeling lost and resenting what was happening. Rhodochrosite is to be used when your heart hurts. It reminds you that though you're hurting, you will heal and love again when you are ready. Your path is leading you to forgiveness and acceptance of that which you can no longer change. It will lead you to detachment and renewal in matters of the heart. The card n°18 from the Below the surface deck is associated with the broadclub cuttlefish. It states : rapid changes, let your flexibility serve you. The following card is the n° 12 represening the ambon damselfish. It states : don't be afraid of your voice, your opinion matters. These two cards suggest that this state of mourning won't last too long. You will quickly be presentend with new romantic opportunities or new projects and spirits are reassuring you. You will be able to move on and start anew. When these opportunity rise, don't be afraid to step in the light and let yourself be seen. The cuttlefish and the damselfish are both very unique and bright. They live in deep waters and can adapt pretty well to their environment. Like these two species, you are resilient and can make your way back to the top pretty quickly. Your other cards tell me that any limiting belief regarding love and relationships will be purged, as you have the destruction card followed by the versatility card. It was important that you do through this experience as it was meant to bring to light the toxicity and limits of your reality. Destruction is associated with fire whereas versatility is related to air. The versatility card reminds you that timing is very important and that forcing a situation to be when the timing is not right will only hinder your growth. It asks you how you can shift what is already existing in order to progress or to consider moving on when no solution can be found. Your path will lead you to a spiritual "spring cleaning". You will be going through your life, your possessions and relationships and ask yourself whether you truly need them now. You will be reassessing the value of your environment, your beliefs, your routines. Your approach to dating and entertaining relationships will be complitely different afterwards.

Ultimately, your path leads you to a new offer. An opportunity to be the main role in your life instead of a spectator. The knight of pentacles and The Emperor bring a message of patience and faith. You have to trust that at the right time and in the right place, what is meant for you will find you and you will be able to recognize it. They also invite you to be clear on your intentions. Especially if you consider dating again. Make sure you are clear on what you expect from a relationship, what you appreciate or what triggers you. Be mindful though of the power you exert over your life. Allow yourself to receive but do not shy away from your responsibilities. Your next partner may be a little bit controlling but also guarded. They need to take things slow and can be quite stubborn. But they will also teach you how to ground yourself and be in the present moment, not to burn any steps and feel things through to ensure you are on the right track. The signs of Aries and Taurus could be significant.

#pick a card #spiritual guidance #pac reading #tarot

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asstrolo · 1 day

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astrology observations for sad people

— the signs who I personally believe are really misunderstood by their peers are often capricorns and aquarius because of their saturnian tendencies where they become the mature, bigger person or are aloof of how they're presenting themselves, they always think they know better or people feel very intimidated by their personalities and, because people don't understand them, they alienate them,

— aries and scorpio as they are very intense, over confident people, other's might feel put-off by them, they can be very controlling and have a "I don't care" kind of personality that doesn't usually goes well with others, their ways of always trying to make themselves clear and understood causes the opposite effect, they are often misjudged as villainous or mean,

— geminis are also put in a place of having to know better, not given a chance or space to mess up as they are very intelligent people and show it, others might have big expectations which are often not met since they prefer to do what makes them happy and makes them curious, they tend to over-inflate themselves, or the opposite, and people take their words too seriously or not at all, very polarizing sign.

— a stellium in 4th can be super difficult to deal with, specially if it falls on not easy planets like mars, or saturn, uranus, or pluto. These people are always dragged back to their family issues no matter how much they try to escape, their parents maybe gave them too much responsibilities as little kids or vented to their child without thinking of the consequences, if these people ever decide to have a family they should always consider if they're doing it because they want to or because it is what's expected of them.

— chiron in social signs as gemini, aquarius and libra feel very alienated at all times, having social interactions is a learning experience for them, whether is good or bad, I also notice people usually get obsessed with them? They don't respect these people¡s space or it could be the other way around, to me is a placement where you'll learn to not be socially inept or teach people how to treat you right for some reason?

— saturn IS a complicated planet, it depends on the person's other planets and aspects how they deal with saturn, a person with moon conjuct saturn has a harder time dealing with their emotions than a capricorn moon. Even when the energies are similar, they don't have the same impact.

— now, a person with a capricornian stellium or dominant does deal with the saturn energy much comfortably than a person with sun trine saturn, because they were born with it. I personally believe you accommodate, or your aspects accommodate to you as you grow and evolve as a person.

— a pisces stellium, specially if is on moon or ascendants, is very perceptive to other's opinion on them, not in a superficial way but more on a "does this person thinks i'm being fair or mean?" Let's not forget the sister sign of Pisces is Virgo, so these signs also share the analytical or more neurotic way of seeing the world. A Pisces Rising is very self-aware of how they come off to people or how they are seen, they might not show it or say anything about it, a Pisces mercury might be self-conscious about how they approach others, how their voice sounds or how they come off when talking.

— I do believe leo's have a harder time being appreciated by people, as they devote to other's so easily they could neglect themselves in the process. Is the kind of person who is always looking out for someone to make happy or to make them feel comfortable because is something they want reciprocated. But this is a thing that can happen to fire signs a lot, they can be overbearing or too kind to people that it ends up backfiring on them, they have a very childlike mentally.

— is true what they say, a 12th house stellium in a natal chart makes the person passive and/or too in their own world, they have premonitions in dreams, but I've also seen these individuals have a really hard time with sleep, they have paranormal experiences a lot that some of them are used to it. They can be in some sort of medication, but not all, and not always these people are medicated or doing substances, they have an easier time to have out-of-body experiences, like lucid dreaming or sleep paralysis, these can occur because these people are super sensitive and get easily drained and stressed. Is important they are taking care of their energy at all times, I've met many that have one, two or more 12th house placement where I've found out some other person has been doing some sort of witchcraft on them, or have a big negative energy that this 12th houser sucks accidentally.

— having a mercurial dominant or rising can be super difficult when it comes to feeling, they tend to rationalize everything too much, are easily distracted and indulgent, they are very, very anxious at all times on all situations, even if they show otherwise. they overthink things too much, are the kind to be incredibly self-aware or completely out of touch with themselves.

— the ascendant aspecting negatively the mercury gives the individual speech impediment or a very shy personality, an almost inaudible voice or a raspy one, people with this placement have a harder time getting their thoughts across, or people might misinterpret them.

— keeping the conversation going, mercury negatively aspecting saturn makes a shy and reserved person, someone who, as a kid or a teen, has problems with being heard, or people simply didn't care or asked for this person's opinions, they might had been very codependent on an adult or somebody else to talk or to get to be seen, as they grow older they learn to communicate rather excellently, they might want to treat their shyness or whatever problem they have with unwanted attention or negligence

— neptune in personal houses like the 1st, 7th, 4th or 10th is really tricky. you might ignore gut feelings bout certain individuals, or on the contrary, believe someone is good when they aren't. these people can be their own worst enemies as they are super perceptive of how they come across to others, or how others make them feel.

— neptune in the 1st is common on actors and models and singers, usually on famous people, because they can create a fantasy of how they want people to see them, or act like chameleons around people, this creates a series of identity crisis during their lives.

— neptune in 7th is prone to feel things that really aren't there? they convince themselves somebody hates them or likes them for just one interaction, these individuals are like a sponge in social situations and they take everything somebody tells them to the heart. they also are known to lie a lot to people on behalf of good manners, they like to be liked.

— neptune in 4th house has a really confusing or unclear family situation, they might adopt the role of the parent when they shouldn't, or are treated as a child even as an adult, something in their family, in what they think is normal growing up, isn't. the most likely to stay in a bad situation for many, many years because they don't know any better, or think it's normal.

— neptune in 10th, although it deals with fame and impersonal relationships, to me, is just as fundamental as the houses listed above. they don't see themselves through their own eyes, or feel like they depend on other's perceptions on themselves too much, they are confident, or pretend it really well. these individuals know how to act the part, how to commit to the bit, they never feel that sense of belonging anywhere, because they might show different parts of their personalities to different people

— for me, the hardest moons to have are capricorn, scorpio and virgo.

— capricorn moon is a strictly analytical sign, they don't feel comfortable in the moon as is where the emotions and insecurities shine the most.

— scorpio moon is a very intense sign, as opposite to the Capricorn, they can be super emotional, or completely numb, very extremist and their emotions are black or white, polarizing.

— virgo moon is extremely difficult, they don't like to have to feel things, they like to think and act with precaution and it's hard for them to let their emotions slip, the kind of friend who'd have the most practical advice to all sort of topics, a helpful hand in all situations, but when it comes to them as individuals, they let themselves be too much, their head is always at a thousand percent. From what I've gathered of this moon is that, yes, they are neurotic when it comes to certain things, but completely careless to others, and it's usually to themselves, you won't ever see a Virgo moon misbehave or dress bad, but they can hold a lot of suppressed shame or anger or sadness, like they tie it with a bow in a box and keep it locked.

— lastly, no aspect or moon or sign is bad, they are just more difficult than others, there are people with easy aspects, like sun sextile or trine jupiter, they are prone to idealization and inferiority complexes. it's true that a person that has the harmonious aspects is lazier or gets unmotivated way easier. nothing is really set in stone, you can have a moon conjunct saturn and a cancer mercury in 9th house, your way of expressing yourself is more reserved, but optimistic and even childlike. when it comes to astrology, every single aspect and sign, and house counts to describe a person.

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tossawary · 16 hours

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I still think that the ending of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" was poorly foreshadowed, specifically the lion turtles and the energy-bending. (Not Aang not killing Ozai! I like that part! It suits the themes, it suits the characters! That part is fine. I am glad that the last airbender found a way forward that respected his people and beliefs.)

Like, I saw ATLA when it was originally airing and I thought these things kind of "came out of nowhere" at the time. I have heard the arguments to the contrary over the years and I have never really been persuaded by them, while at the same time personally agreeing that the lion turtles and the energy-bending absolutely do fit the world and lore! They are fitting elements! They work! I like this ending at the same time that, in my personal opinion, I think it was poorly established.

I think that the story BEGINS to establish lion turtles and energy-bending well enough. We meet both many other spirit beings and bending-capable animals earlier on, including the Moon and Ocean Spirits who apparently gave the world water-bending. S2 introduces Ty Lee's chi-blocking techniques and Guru Pathik teaching Aang about chakras. There are also a handful of lion turtle easter eggs in the background of some episodes, the most prominent perhaps being on a scroll in Wan Shi Tong's library.

But the story then jumps from these various establishing elements all the way to "lion turtles are real and not extinct and telepathic and can also energy-bend and Aang has suddenly mastered this new art well enough to take someone else's bending away permanently, and these relatively new elements are going to resolve the main conflict of the show". It feels like "1+1=3" to me. I think that last jump in the story is too big. Like, we're REALLY close, but I personally needed another 1 in there somewhere to bridge that final gap and get to that 3.

(Includes some fic ideas / suggestions on how to maybe add to strengthen the foreshadowing under the cut.)

The fact that a lot of people, especially more casual viewers, were really confused by the way all of these elements suddenly came together at the end says to me that, no, the foreshadowing that WAS done (there WAS foreshadowing, I cannot rightfully say that it all came completely out of "nowhere", but it) was not good enough. Or maybe I should compare it to someone presenting me with all of the necessary ingredients for a cake and then telling me that it IS cake? Yes, all of the right ingredients are HERE, I agree, this COULD be a really great cake, but... you still have to mix it all together in a bowl and then put it in the oven to bake to get that specific cake. It's not quite cooked yet.

(Okay, wow, that sounds kind of mean. Maybe I should compare it more to a missing stair? We have MOST of the staircase, I just need one last step to get to the Deus Ex Machina at the top. To be clear: I don't think a "Deus Ex Machina" is inherently bad. I often like them a lot. I just wanted a little more foreshadowing than the stuff that is already there.)

In storytelling, there's this technique casually called "The Rule of Three". (And yes, of course, rules were made to be bent or broken depending on what story you're trying to tell, but usually, these rules exist because they are effective.) This rule is also sometimes known as "Introduction, Pattern, and Payoff". (It has other names, but that's how I remember it.)

Very loosely, this rule states that an important element of the story must appear at least three times. 1. It must be introduced / established in the world. 2. It must appear again to remind the audience that it exists / and establish a pattern such that the audience begins to expect it to appear again later. (And is hopefully excited for it.) 3. Payoff. The element returns in an important way, probably to resolve part of the plot. The previous two appearances have acted as foreshadowing for this ending.

There's also a "Rule of Two" version of this general storytelling technique. Like, "If this special crystal can zap the bad guy and save the day, we have to have shown or at least told the audience that it can do that BEFORE the big final fight scene."

In regards to ATLA, no, I don't think that a scroll in a library or a statue in the background of some scene served as adequate introduction and reminder for the existence of lion turtles, so it didn't necessarily feel like a payoff for me that they solved the main conflict. (It's the "solved the main conflict" that's most of the issue for me. If the lion turtles had just appeared in another episode as a random cool thing like those sea monsters by Kyoshi Island, I would not have cared.)

I actually think that the establishment of other spirits like the Moon Spirit and bending-capable animals like sky bison and dragons can serve as a decent enough "Step 1) Introduction". Though this does not establish that lion turtles specifically exist, we have established that powerful creatures similar to lion turtles exist. But I still needed a solid "Step 2) Pattern / Reminder" that would have established that lion turtles specifically exist and are important BEFORE one shows up at the end like that.

I think that there's at least one episode somewhere in Book 1 or Book 2 that could have been cut in favor of an episode where the Gaang meets and rescues a young lion turtle baby or something.

Maybe Guru Pathik could have learned his ways FROM a lion turtle? Aang could have gone to an isolated village somewhere (with more brown people besides just Guru Pathik?) where people are living in harmony with a lion turtle, or maybe even on the back of a lion turtle! That would be cool!

Concept: Aang encounters Guru Pathik living alone on the back of a lion turtle which doesn't talk to people anymore (Aang swims down to look at its face and it doesn't even look at him), because its kind have been hunted nearly to extinction and it's tired of violence. Guru Pathik learned his ways from his old teacher, who learned from his old teacher, all the way up the teaching lineage from a person who once learned from the lion turtle itself before it gave up on the world. Guru Pathik tends to this nearly empty temple on the back of a silent lion turtle who ignores him, because he will not forsake his teachings even when the world seems uninterested in hearing them and the old lion turtle seems like it could die any day now. The people in the fishing village on the shore think that Guru Pathik is crazy and most of them don't even believe that the floating island really is a lion turtle, it's just weird geography.

Guru Pathik could also have chi-blocking abilities! We could see him demonstrate them in self-defense! He could teach a few chi-blocking moves to Aang, who could later go on to use them occasionally in Book 3, and it would have been really cool to see Aang exploring non-bending skills. We don't need Guru Pathik to explicitly name energy-bending here, but I would like to connect him just a touch more strongly to chi-blocking. Like, he IS connected already by helping Aang clear chakras, which is kind of like a reverse of chi-blocking, but it would be nice to establish Guru Pathik as somewhat capable of the opposite but perhaps not liking to use the skill.

Aang really vibes with this dying culture of pacifists, but he still has to leave Guru Pathik before he can finish the training. Later on, he can encounter Guru Pathik and the silent lion turtle again, and he can confess to them how desperately he doesn't want to have to kill anyone, no matter what his past lives say. He just wants to STOP the violence and restore balance to the world without sacrificing himself. And THEN the lion turtle could wake up and gift him with energy-bending.

Or something like that! The foreshadowing doesn't have to be THAT heavy-handed, but SOME brief appearance by an actual lion turtle would have served as a better "Step 2) Pattern" to me.

Things like chi-blocking, chakras, water-bending healing, water-benders losing their bending when the Moon Spirit was killed, and even Zuko's spiritual turmoil serve as a good "Step 1) Introduction" to the concept of energy-bending to me. The ingredients are THERE. But again, I would have liked some clearer "Step 2) Pattern" that had actually baked the cake in regards to this being a skill Aang had specifically.

The above episode concept with Guru Pathik on the back of a lion turtle could have worked as a "Step 2) Pattern / Reminder" for energy-bending.

ANOTHER option would be to have Aang temporarily lose his bending at the beginning of Book 3, after Katara resurrects him with that special spirit water after Azula killed him at the end of Book 2.

I think Aang losing his bending for at least 3-4 episodes would have been really good for him / the show. So much of Aang's identity is tied up at this point in being the Avatar and the responsibilities of being the Avatar. Losing his bending, especially his AIR-BENDING, and his connection to the spirit world and his past lives would send him into a personal crisis. The Gaang could worry over whether or not a new Avatar has somehow been born or if the Avatar powers are gone forever. The characters could confront the fact that perhaps they've been relying too much on Aang as the Avatar and what they'll do now without the Avatar.

Also, it would be really funny if Aang woke up and picked up his glider to jump off that boat, then just fell into the ocean, and Katara needed to fish him out. (Which would then transition into the dramatic revelation that he has lost his bending!!!)

Katara could use her healing abilities to tell Aang that what's happened to him feels a lot like Ty Lee's chi-blocking. Katara would then probably try to emphasize with Aang, who gets angry with her and says she has no idea what this feels like! Katara could then have a really good intimate scene with Aang over how scary it was when the Moon Spirit was killed, what it physically felt like to lose that spiritual connection, and how scared she was even afterwards about what it would have been like to permanently lose that connection to her people and her culture. Aang then apologizes to Katara and they resolve to find his bending again.

Aang then goes on some spiritual journey with his friends to reconnect with his bending and his past lives as the Avatar. Probably some partially internal spiritual journey with Guru Pathik's teachings. Katara and Toph could both talk about what bending means to them personally as different people, and also what it feels like to them as they interact with the elements of the world around them.

Aang could have some cool fight scenes where he dodges some random thugs using all of his bending skills (martial arts) without the actual bending, air-bending techniques, water-bending techniques, and earth-bending techniques, and then finally some chi-blocking techniques that Guru Pathik showed him. There could be some scene where Aang saves a kid from these random thugs and realizes that he can still do good in the world even if he's not the Avatar! Even if he's not a bender anymore!

There could also be some REALLY funny scenes of Aang trying to get Appa and Momo to teach him how to reconnect with his air-bending. Aang mimicking their movements and so on. (Sokka: "Is that... working so far, buddy?" Aang: "NO! They're terrible teachers!!!" Cue sad Appa bleating and offended Momo chittering.)

You could even do it in a cycle of sorts, where Aang reconnects with his air-bending first using Guru Pathik's teachings and his friends' help. (He is OVERJOYED.) And then Aang slowly regains water-bending and earth-bending over the next few episodes, culminating in him having to face his fears learning fire-bending again. I think you could accomplish this storyline by squeezing it into about 3-4 episodes, or else starting off with losing then regaining air-bending plus the Avatar state in the first 2 episodes of the season and then threading relearning the other elements in the background through later episodes.

ANOTHER option where Aang temporarily loses his bending is after the eclipse, because he has a spiritual crisis over the fact that he was resolved to kill someone and he really doesn't want to do that. I don't like this option so much because it feels a little too late in the season compared to kicking off Book 3 with the drama of Aang losing his bending(!!!), but it's an option.

See, if Aang temporarily loses his bending and has to find it again somehow, then the show could establish what this kind "energy-bending" and spiritual manipulation within a person looks like. If Aang has had to get his bending BACK, then it would better establish Aang then using this ability he has now practiced on himself to take bending away from another person. It's a pleasantly surprising twist that Aang figures out how to reverse a previously established energy-bending technique and successfully uses it against Ozai.

And then the ending, though arguably still in the realm of a Deus Ex Machina (which is cool), would feel more like "Step 3) Payoff" instead of "What just happened?"

Anyway! This post became way longer than originally intended! I hope this has made it clear that I like both the lion turtles and energy-bending as concepts. I think there are many elements in the show that begin to introduce lion turtles and energy-bending as Aang uses it as things that COULD exist. I just think that the show needed some kind of additional baking step in the middle to establish a pattern and use those ingredients to foreshadow that specific "an ancient lion turtle teaches Aang energy-bending" ending.

#tossawary atla #fic ideas #long post #aang #guru pathik #lion turtles #spoilers

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leonstoenailunderhisbed · 2 days

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After playing RE2R, RE4, and RE6, I can’t stop thinking about Leon and Ada. Their whole relationship both saddens me and angers me (bare with me, I can explain myself)

Um… it’s like 1AM and I really really really love analyzing resident evil. CAPCOM should hire me or something (I’m in desperate need of a job☠️)

Ada is a very mysterious character having known so little about her and her upbringing. All we know is that she’s a mercenary that makes it believe that she’s loyal to her employer when in reality, she willingly betrays Wesker and Simmons.

I don’t like that argument where people say Ada is a bad person because she betrayed Leon—because let me tell you: she didn’t.

I don’t think she 100% betrayed Leon (AND IM TIRED OF HER CHARACTER BEING BROUGHT DOWN AS JUST THAT BECAUSE SHES A REALLY COOL PERSON)

Sure, she got her hands on the Amber and she did kind of take the G-Sample when she fell into the abyss or wtv—but she still has that same sense of humanity she’s always kept.

I’d like to think of her as someone that lives through so many expectations that maybe she doesn’t know what she truly wants, until she met Leon. Leon is the type of guy, just like Chris, who cares so much about the people and keeping the world safe and free of danger. Even though Ada might be working with enemies in the future, she will always do what she thinks is right, hence her betrayals to her employers in the past.

The only reason she betrays everyone is because she betrayed herself in not knowing what she truly wants in the end.

I don’t really ship them (I don’t ship anyone, it makes me feel weird putting two characters together when I can just wait for the official statements) but they do give me that vibe of a “what if” relationship.

“What if?” They can’t indulge themselves in a relationship, sure they’ve hooked up, but how long until either one gets hurt that they can’t bear the thought of seeing the other again. The chase is fun, yes, but they both know that they’ll only get hurt.

It’s like the type of right person, wrong time type of thing but at the same time: is it love or infatuation?

They make me sad because I can’t fathom the idea of loving someone but not being able to be with them. Leon frequently has to choose whether to go with Ada or keep saving the world.

But he never really chooses Ada and Ada knows this just as much as he does that no matter how much you may love someone—you cannot ignore the obstacles thrown your way. It’s time to let go. In RE6, Ada basically says goodbye while Leon keeps her memory.

Idk man I be crying because of them.😔

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 hours

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WIBTA if I told a very poor person to stop asking me for money?

(🧍‍♂️💸 for ez finding, names are fake for obv reasons)

I (21, any prns) met Pink (21, she/they) in a fandom-specific RP server about a year ago. Everyone was (and still is) very nice, including Pink, the server owner. Pink and her family are very poor, barely even making rent, and she often plugged her donation posts in the server announcements channel (this happened a lot. at one point there was even a donations channel just for her). I didn't really mind because desperate times call for desperate measures, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, y'know?

About nine months ago (mid september) I decided to pay something for her (it was either the remains of her rent or her meds, I forgot which). I did it because I felt like it, and it wasn't much. I figured if I could make someone's life a little easier, I might as well. Then about a month later (last week of October) she DM'd me, also about meds. She seemed apologetic and honestly kinda desperate. I figured if she was going this far it was probably by necessity, so I sent money again. She asked about paying me back, but I declined the offer since when I give people money I pretty much expect it to be Gone lol. She asked me again for money twice within that week for some Emergency Essentials. I obliged the first time but gently refused the second. I work retail, I'm not made of money...

She didn't contact me again about this until early December, due to an overdraft. I declined because of a vet appointment and also Xmas shopping. Plus, I was in kind of a tight spot myself at the time (from around Nov-March I had to be really careful with my spending). She asked again in mid-December for rent money, to which I obliged. It was the last time I gave her anything. She then had *another* rent emergency at the very end of December, which I refused because I Have Bills. I should mention that some of these emergencies were not posted publicly (i.e. in the server) - she was asking me, personally, for help. Nobody else, at least as far as I know. Maybe she DMs everyone who sends money her way. I have no way of knowing.

In mid-January she asked me again for rent money, to which I politely declined due to my own financial struggles, and stated that I probably wouldn't be in a better position to donate until April. She seemed to understand and wished me well.

...until recently. She's made a habit of asking me for money again. Not as frequently as before (about once every 2-3 months. she did this in late May and again around march), but it does happen. I thought about telling her off the first time, but I wanted to compose myself lest I say something really mean, but by the time I felt like responding, she deleted it. Maybe she realized it was embarrassing? I don't know. This also happened with the May message. I was super inactive in the server by then due to being busy with Life Stuff. I've wanted to chat in it again lately because everyone else (including Pink, at least in overall demeanor) but it's kind of awkward when I have the literal owner DMing me for cash every few months.

At this point, I'm at the end of my rope. I want her to stop. It makes me seriously uncomfortable how she only ever contacts me to ask for money. Not even my closest friends of almost a decade - who also have financial struggles of their own - would ask me personally for money, and Pink is barely more than a friendly acquaintance. But at the same time I know she's only doing any of that *because* her situation is so desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and it feels rather two-faced to turn my back on her now.

WIBTA?

#aita #am i the asshole

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yannaryartside · 11 hours

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A revision of Claire’s “pushing” and who really benefits from it

A list of red flags I have been thinking about.

gif by @felixcarlucci

I was reading this post and reflecting on why it felt, like @brokenwinebox mentioned, that Carmy was always in the passenger seat in the relationship with Claire (physically and metaphorically); their post is amazing, by the way, talking about this concept of "pushing" and how it should be a mutual thing.

I want to go back to the party and the context of Carmy and Claire's past. All of it is enhanced by that interview with Molly we have been discussing.

My biggest question here is:

Why? Why the hell Claire "could tell" that Carmy wanted a relationship with her? They hadn't spoken in more than a decade, for real, wtf kind of signal did she see that he wanted to be with her? Does she think he has been in love with her all this time? Did she get that idea when she supposedly met Mickey? Because if she pursues Carmy, assuming he has feelings for her but only assuming this because of what other people told her, that is kinda fucked up. It all goes back to Fak being the one that tells her that Carmy loved her after all that shit he said while being stuck in the fridge. I swear to God that the more Molly says things favoring ClairexCarmy, the more red flags I see. Did Claire pursue Carmy knowing it would be a sure thing. "Oh yeah I remember you, you had the most obvious crush on me"

There is also the context of both of them growing up in the same spaces, Carmy very shy and Claire a very popular girl. Did she hear how lonely that was, which made her assume he was avoiding her because of a lack of social experience?

In their first phone call, she never let him explain if he was bussy, even after all that talk of her being supportive of the restaurant she said "don't make this weird," Claire was completely dismissing that Carmy was indeed doing something important to him; she never offered to work around both of their schedules, almost like she knew that if she "pushed" enough, she would get what she wanted.

And even that, their first date or hangout is not to a coffee place, maybe a restaurant with Claire actually interested in Carmy's profession and passion, or any other place they could get to actually know each other after, I repeat, a decade of not seeing each other. She brought him to a party.

She knows the Berzattos and how gatering will go on their avail, she knows Michael will set things on fire, she knows he comes from a family of addicts, and she knows carmy had difficulties on social environments (we can assume by the pictures they had around, taht Carmy attended to her birthday party and other stuff surely).

So why the fuck, on their first "date," not only does she insist on going to a party, but she tells him that he "owns her" to go there? Where there is alcohol and other people that he may felt rejected for as a kid? She knows this is a scenario that may cause him anxiety or discomfort, and she insists he must go. Maybe I am projecting a little bit here, since I am autistic, and at some point in all my friendships or relationships, I have to have a conversation about places that, because of my disability, I don't enjoy.

(little note aside: the excuse "my friend needs me" to convince him to go was utterly pathetic. Almost as much as "you own me.")

But what does this mean coming from Claire in the "pushing" thing? Does she feel she can push him to become (kinda by force) the person that will hang out in the same places as she does, assuming that is still what he wants?

She also knows that he probably felt cast aside from social events because of his shyness, and she invites him to provide all the things that may cause her to look like his only anchor in this stressful scenario.

She brought him the soft drink, tried to tell other people what a cool job he has, and told him what to do to comfort and upset a friend of hers. It felt like she was walking him on a tutorial on "how to be normal," and I didn't like that at all. Again, I may be projecting here, but the dynamic was kind of hollow regardless.

It is not like it is bad for Carmen to socialize and whatever. But she removed his agency completely; it feels like manipulation on many levels because she has perceived a lot of his struggle in this area; she also ignored his first reaction to going to the party and flipped her way. Carmy ended up trapped with a lot of immature young adults with whom he definitely has nothing in common. There was no space for actual empathy or connection to him to "come out of his shell." His conversations with Sydney are so natural because of this; there is connection and mutual respect, and he was very out of his shell with her.

The Pushing between Carmy and Syd this next season will likely be in a professional context but also rooted in a (future) agreement on mutual collaboration. But my feelings about this are not only for sydcarmy.

The "pushing" in ClairexCarmy was always in the context of Claire getting what she wanted and Carmy having to force himself to make it happen. There was no discussion, no middle ground, not even a recognition of why certain things have been difficult for you in the past; it is not an actual intention of helping to heal, but an expectation of the other to go your way "because they want you/love you. Claire is sure that only because of her will he want to change, and she will gain his heart by providing the scenario for all these things Carmy desperately wanted as a kid. I am sorry, Storer, if this is the love story you want to sell us, a salvation of all lonely/hurt people, I am very sorry, I hate it with all my heart.

#very anti claire bear here #she has affection for him but dude affection can be very conditional #and affection doesn't mean understanding and doesn't mean compatibility #the bear #sydcarmy #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #the bear fx #carmen berzatto #the bear meta #carmy the bear #carmy x sydney #sydney x carmy

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vladdyissues · 2 days

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Hi, I'm asking this question because I'm genuinely afraid. I want to post art I did/I commissioned a different artist of Pompous Pep on my blog, but I'm terrified of others attacking me. I've always liked this ship since I was kid and didn't it was considered taboo until I was older. How do you deal with hate? Would it be better to post on a side blog? My main DP AU does have Pompous Pep when Danny is in his early to mid 20s.

I answered a similar ask here, but this one also deserves its own answer. Here are some things you can do to protect yourself from hate:

✦ Turn off anonymous asks. That curbs 99.9999% of abuse, because haters are too chickenshit to send stuff that they can get reported for and possibly have their account terminated. If you do decide to open anonymous asks at some point and receive hate, you can still report it. More on blocking here.

✦ Make sure you tag your post with "pompous pep" so those who love the ship can find it and those who have the tag blocked can avoid it.

✦ As you can see, there are quite a few of us Pompep fans here on Tumblr, and it's good to be part of a community. Being able to laugh off anon hate with one another is a superb morale-booster. (If you spend any amount of time on Discord, DM me. We have a server, and you'd be very welcome there.)

Bottom line: Haters will always find a reason to hate something they don't like. You can never "perform" purely enough to please them, so don't even try. If you age up Danny and Vlad, they'll still bitch about the age gap. If you make them the same age, they'll bitch about the "toxic dynamic" of Enemies to Lovers. If you make an AU where they've always been friends and are the exact same age, they'll still accuse you of Shipping Crimes™ because it's still the same characters—even if all the obstacles that made the ship problematic have been removed. All you'll do is wear yourself out trying to conform to their standards, so just say "fuck em" and do what you want.

Me, personally, I've been in fandom too long to be bothered by anon hate. I report them, block them, and delete the message, and I don't waste any more energy than necessary. I also follow the golden rule of Don't Feed the Trolls. Haters thrive on attention, and if they get no response from you, they'll eventually give up their attack and move on.

I'm sorry that the actions of an idiotic, vocal minority have made you afraid to participate in fandom activities. No one should ever feel that way. Just remember that you're not alone. Almost all of us Pompep fans have dealt with negativity at some point in our lives, but that hasn't stopped us at all. We're still here, and we'll always be here.

✦ As for sideblogs, they're great if you want to keep certain stuff separate from your main blog, but it's totally up to you. Just keep in mind, if you want to block anyone from seeing your sideblog, it must be done from the Blog Settings of that particular sideblog. More on sideblogs here.

I hope this post answered your questions and eased some of your fears. If you have any further comments or questions, you know how to reach me :)

#asks #pompous pep #[tumblr]#dealing with anon hate #antis #blocking #sideblogs #info

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deramin2 · 11 hours

Text

Essek constantly gushing about his partner but pointedly not giving his name hits me so hard in the feels.

Two formative childhood experiences for me:

ONE

I was severely, mercilessly bullied as a child at every school I went to even if they're was no overlap of kids, and authority figures either ignored me or directly told me it was my fault. I was socially toxic. Any other kid who publicly associated with me was also targeted for harassment. I was best friends with a girl around the corner but because I was a couple years younger (in itself an invitation for bullying) and a parish, we could never let anyone know we were friends.

I've been told I should be upset at her for this, but it wasn't her fault. It was the other children who made it a fact that she would be harmed by publicly being my friend. She didn't make those rules, we were both just honest that it existed and there was nothing we could do to change that. The best we could do to survive was at least protect her. And that benefited me by actually having a friend.

So if we talked about each other it was"my friend." No names. No acknowledging we knew each other in public. No introductions to other friends. Keeping that divide up was necessary to survival. I had a couple friends on the same freak level as we and we were in fact targeted with additional harassment to get to the other person. It was a legitimate threat to live with. At some point I just stopped thinking it was ever necessary to reveal who my friends or family are unless it's both explicitly relevant and necessary.

TWO

I learned to use the internet in the late 1990s when anonymity was considered a best practice. Don't give out your age, sex, location, or other identifying information. You don't know who is on the other side of that screen or what they will do to you if they know. Sperate your online and offline worlds to protect yourself.

This helped reinforce experience one because clearly adults also acted like those kids and this just normal human behavior no one will ever put a stop to that you need to be on guard for at all times. Build in air gaps so if one of you is compromised it's harder for the perpetrator to get to other people you care about. Defending them through anonymity is a way of showing you love them.

Also since some family are searchable through have state government jobs that right-wing nut jobs chips target them for, I wanted to make sure they couldn't be connected to me as a queer trans disabled person active online. In case something I said led to them being targeted.

(This is correct advice, even though it flies in the face of modern online conventions. There are tons of malicious people on three internet who will target you and anyone you love if they decide to hurt you.)

RESULT

By default, I refer to people by their relationship to me, not their name. My friend, my partner, my parent, my family, someone I know, etc. Often I avoid gendering them to make it even harder to identify them. I have to consciously consider if the person I'm talking to has any reason to know my associate's name. Blacklist everyone, then whitelist exceptions.

I do this even if both people know each other because the specific association feels dangerous. Better to be viewed as acquaintances than a meaningful relationship that changes how either of us could be viewed. It's not even really a judgement on thinking the person is untrustworthy, I just don't want to spend any extra energy thinking about it. It doesn't even feel relevant because my relationship to this person fellas like it conveys more information that actually matters.

ESSEK

Essek knows both he and Caleb are being targeted by powerful people who have shown they will target loved ones to get to them. Additionally, tensions between the Empire and Dynasty are still high and it could very easily compromise how their own sides view them if it's known that they're romantically entangled with someone from the other side. It could also blow each other's cover and make their meeting places more vulnerable to attack. Especially if their enemies know they could hit both of them at once.

It's genuinely dangerous for their connection to be known, so they don't name names. It's not even a matter of whether Bell's Hells would intentionally misuse that information, but what they also could just let slip to the wrong person. It's not really worth the risk when "my partner" is all the information they actually need to understand him.

My guess is that Essek said "Bren" is hiss partner because they already know a Bren sent them to Astrid. And since Caleb no longer uses the name Bren it would be much harder to connect them. It would have caused more questions, more prying, and more risk to give no name for his partner when directly pressed. So he gives a truthful but less dangerous answer. The anonymity is an act of love.

#critical role #critical role meta #critical role campaign 3 #Mighty Nein #Bell's Hells #Shadowgast #Essek Thelyss #Caleb Widogast #Bullying #Childhood Trauma

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queseraone · 2 days

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I got asked this question and loved it so much, I wanted to open it up to the group.

If you could choose 5 Chenford scenes to rewrite, which would you choose, and how would you rewrite them?

Oooh, thanks for the ask Becca! I had a similar one from an anon, so consider this the answer to that one too 😘

Okay, so I'm going to preface this by saying... as much as I love this ship and this show, I could probably give you an endless list of things I wish they had done differently/better. Particularly in the more recent seasons, a lot of the storylines have felt... rushed?

And in a lot of ways, it feels like once they pulled the trigger for Chenford, they hit the gas so hard that they blew past a lot of story. (Okay, that's two unrelated metaphors in there, but I hope you get my point.) I know Chenford isn't the main focus of the show, but it is a huge lure, and it feels like a waste to not lean a little harder into some of those moments. A lot of the time it feels like they're giving quantity over quality for Chenford scenes, like they're trying to meet some unspoken quota for moments, but aren't putting much care into what those moments actually are.

Oh god, that all sounds sooooo negative. I swear I love Chenford and the show, no matter how much I may criticize it 😅

ANYWAY...

I desperately wish things had gone differently in 5x05. Tim should absolutely have broken up with Ashley, not the other way around. They still could have played it similarly, but instead have it be Tim getting that reality check. Nothing quite like your entire future being in jeopardy to make you take a good hard look at your life and who you're spending it with.

A lot of 4x08, but particularly their last scene of the episode and the way Lucy is written as more 'Team Genny' than 'Team Tim'. It's wildly out of character for her to not be able to recognize that Tim isn't just being stubborn, but rather he's having a very valid response to trauma.

It seems like perhaps there was a scene missing somewhere along the way leading up to that conversation at the end of 5x08. It has always felt like a bit of a leap between their conversations in the shop and that closing scene. They're clearly on the same page at the end, but they didn't quite succeed at showing how they landed there.

Look, as much as I adore the group scenes at Nolan's in 5x13, it will forever bother me that we didn't get a relationship reveal. What's the point of touting a 'secret relationship' and not bother bringing it out into the open? For a show that absolutely leans lighter than any other cop show I've seen (save for Brooklyn 99), the sheer comedy potential is a loss I will be mourning forever. I think it especially bothers me because we were kind of left in limbo between 5x12 and 5x16. We know they were still hiding it in 5x12, but then by 5x16 they were comfortable with people gossiping about their Valentine's Day plans? Make it make sense.

This can be related to several different scenes (5x12, 5x21, etc...), but for the love of god, stop telling us that Tim and Lucy are horny for each other and show us for once! They can tout this as "a family show" all they want, but as far as I'm concerned, this is a show for adults. And if a person is old enough to watch the host of other mature things they do show (physical assault, a man on fire, someone being blown up, shootings, etc.), they can fucking handle a non-HBO level sex scene.

I'm adding this as a bonus answer, because I can't necessarily pinpoint a specific scene to change here. As a general season 6 rewrite, I really wish they'd focused more on the UC conflict with Chenford. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the exploration of Tim's military past and the demons he has from that time, but it just felt... forced? Certainly a byproduct of the shortened season, but I wish they'd woven that in more organically, and not all but forgotten the UC issue after it was so prevalent in 6x01 and 6x02. There's just so much more to unpack than what we saw in their conversations in those episodes.

#chenford #the rookie #chenford chats #asked and answered #thisnightissparkling089 #tim bradford #lucy chen

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rontra · 2 days

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My hand never seems to actually translate the ideas that are spinning up in my brain. how do you get it all out? any advice? just draw more? do i need to use more references? your art is just so beatiful you are one of my top inspos.

ah first of all thank you very much! i'm honored! 😳

(long post incoming lol)

to answer the question though, i don't think i sufficiently translate what's in my mind and i frequently let myself down! but it's important not to let that Stop you. i think overall it's sort of multifaceted and different for everyone--theres no single answer i can give you that will guaranteed work for you--but for me personally i think it mainly comes down to Derangement, DISCRETION!!, Discipline, & Diet

before i say anything more though it's important also to remember that making visual art (in our case drawings/comics) is training like 2 or 3 separate skills (depending on how you divide them). the HAND represents your current drawing ability & technique; what your drawing hand is physically able to produce when you set pen to paper. the BRAIN is the creative engine that cooks up your ideas and thinks of ways to assemble them. and the EYE represents your ability to recognize what art looks like and how it "should" look. when your brain is thinking of ideas and your hand can't capture them, that is not because you're "bad" at it: it means your eye skill is currently outpacing your hand skill. your ability to discern art, to see things like proportions and anatomy and composition and whatever else is going on, is currently stronger than your ability to draw them yourself. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw!!!! but it does mean your hands' ability to capture what your brain has imagined will let your eyes down until your hands catch up. once they do--by studying, practicing your technique, using references, and gaining confidence--your eye skill will then begin to outpace it again. this cycle, the dance between the two skills, is why you might sometimes feel yourself suddenly "getting good" at art, then just as suddenly plateauing or "getting worse"; you are training different parts of what makes art happen. there is nothing wrong with this. you are improving even when it doesnt feel like it--even when it feels like THE LITERAL OPPOSITE is happening. because you're improving different skills!

(and of course as your eye skill develops you will look back at previous stages of development and go "HOW COULD I NOT SEE HOW BAD THIS LOOKS!"--and yeah. that's the thing; you probably, rather literally, couldn't see it! you only think it looks bad now because you've improved your "eye" skill. you should try to be proud of that feeling, even though it also likely sucks and is embarrassing to you at the same time. there's posts, even recent ones, that i go "i cant believe i thought that looked OK enough to post PUBLICLY" and it is embarrassing for me! but all it means is that i'm better at what i do now...so it doesn't get me down too badly. you gotta shrug that stuff off.)

with that out of the way, my four evil councilmen are as follows:

DERANGEMENT: find something you are not normal about. this can be anything (whether it's a topic that interests you, The Character, a medium, a damn color palette...anything!), as long as it captures your mind and motivates you to create. your brain should be spinning up ideas like crazy and your only choice is to draw them. because once you have Derangement the only thing that feels worse than Making Something Subpar is sitting around Not Making Anything At All. you should be interested in what you draw. you should ideally love it, even if you don't love your own art yet. once you know what motivates you, let that simmer until you have no choice but to draw even if you're scared it'll turn out bad. and hey--there will probably (unless you become some kind of Art God) always be parts you think should've turned out better in some way, however:

DISCRETION!!: realistically nobody NEEDS to know what parts of a piece you're unhappy with. it's valuable to have friends/art partners/mentors/whatever that you can comfortably check in with and go "i dont like [part], what do you think" and get feedback, but that's for YOU. for the audience at large, maybe people will notice, maybe they won't, but as an artist you are constantly growing and you will very likely be constantly looking back at past pieces (even just days or hours old sometimes) and going "what the hell was i thinking? how did i not see [error/s], or why didn't i go for [different idea/finish/color palette/etc]?". getting hung up on this will probably either light a fire under you or demotivate you completely depending on your particular brain soup. for me it can go either way depending on where i'm at in my current hand/eye development phase. but i try not to fixate on it. it's enough to observe it and take notes for next time. every drawing is part of your growth and you have to make wonky art in order to occasionally make something that satisfies your eyes. in the meantime, don't beat yourself up or put yourself down. you are gaining experience and technical know-how, and spotting things you'd like to work on for next time; especially if you're sharing this work and other people are telling you they like what you made, there's no need to undercut this by dwelling on the rough parts so much that you can't enjoy it. the important thing is that you made it.

DISCIPLINE: you made it, it's done, now make something new. do it again from the top! you're right: Drawing A Lot is absolutely the key to Drawing Better. it is also usually an evil curse that reveals How Bad You Drew 3 Months Ago. but you have no choice, if you want to hone your skills and improve the Brain Image -> Art Image translation. you have to do it even when it sucks. do it bored, do it scared, but you have to do it or you'll never get anywhere. when improving yourself, you have to draw a lot to see change, and this is the part that sucks, right? feeling like you're not really getting anywhere or like you'll never capture what's in your mind. you can do studies where you collect references and focus in on ironing out something that's bothering you (such as, like, specific objects, perspectives, clothing details, anatomy pieces, light and shadow, etc etc); this can help crack the malaise for sure... learning how to use references is good, as well as whatever tools are available to you (in your medium/software). How To Do This is sort of a different post, but it does help (and sometimes annoyingly so; there's been rare but very annoying moments in my career where i will be simply looking at a picture and idly make an observation that cracks a style/anatomy problem i've had for Years and im always like COME ON!!! hahaha--but yes looking at references and studying them "like an artist" definitely helps, even when it's not as miraculous as that). overall work smarter and nail down the stuff you're unsure about, then incorporate what you've learned into your art style until it looks a way you like. you will likely have to just grind it out sometimes, and often this grind will not feel particularly fun. but you can Dog Medication Salami Pocket yourself into it if you're drawing something you're sufficiently Deranged about. <- this is what diesel is always doing with those women (LOL)

also, Output. you do have to Be Making Stuff in order to finish stuff. for example for comic projects like adastra or failteacher au, if i can draw ~1 page a day, the update will be complete in no time. but i have to draw that 1 page every day to make it happen, even if i feel off or lack confidence about what i'm making. of course i'm not saying you shouldn't take breaks; you NEED to take breaks, set your goals to your own level, and listen to yourself (and don't get some kind of wrist problem like me please). but the point im trying to make is that if you can make yourself sit down and do it even though you're scared it'll turn out bad, (or, hell, even if this part of your project is Simply Boring), then you can do it anytime. this is important too. but you will probably still sometimes feel stuck if you try to work and grind all the time.

DIET: regularly, but especially when you're stuck in a rut, step away from your craft and enrich your diet. you have to play just as much as you have to work. for example, i am always ALWAYS reading comics. at any given time i probably have 1-4 (sometimes more) tabs open of different comics i am simultaneously reading!!!! i read webcomics, webtoons, manga, DC--any demographic or genre, i take random recs from people and just go read them. whatever medium you're in, you have to take in what other people are doing with it, you have to let them teach and inspire you. you have to branch out and look at genres and styles you usually don't. unwind and look at comics, at illustrations, at design, at animation, at video games. enjoy them as an audience, but look at them like an artist too. when you like something, pause and examine (as both an artist and audience) why you like it. (vice versa: if you don't like something, you can try to figure out why that is!) let other people's ideas and habits flow over you. you have to relax and enrich your mind, to refresh your creativity and motivation. this is crucial. when you come back, you'll feel refreshed and ready to go, and your big brain cauldron of tools + ideas + techniques will be all shiny and bubbling. it's just as important to experience art as it is to make it. i really can't stress that enough!!!!

i talk about comics specifically here because right now obviously i am making a lot of comics (adastra, failteachers). i often feel like i get stuck in boring page layouts and can't think of how to panel something. and honestly sometimes a basic layout that just Gets Through The Scene is simply sufficient (after all, not everything has to be a Groundbreaking New Masterpiece; we would all get fatigued by that!)--or otherwise a "boring layout" is just what i have to put down in order to put down anything at all. but in both cases, reading comics and taking in what people are doing with their layouts makes me feel refreshed and i can return to my own work all rested and bright-eyed. everything we read and watch and take in is added to our "mental library" for the brain to reference when it's time to create something. it is just as enriching and important to experience someone else's art and perspective, and to enjoy a diverse range of impressions. you are always learning and observing, so try to pay attention--it's feeding your brain... :j

(and now, hopefully, your enriched Diet has added fertilizer for your Derangement, and the entire council can take their turn again from the top of the order. HDFHBJFS)

hmm...

well, overall, like i said at the top, there's no One Solution or really Single Piece Of Advice i can offer you. but i hope maybe you got something out of it anyway. everyone's a bit different and everyone's ideal workflow and journey is different too. but don't give up, keep at it, and...GOOD LUCK!!! 🫡🫡🫡

& always remember: in the end, making something YOU like, that looks good to YOU and fulfills YOUR goals, is more important than making something "perfect" (if such a thing even exists). as long as YOU'RE enjoying making your art (yes, even when making the art is hell and sucks!), that's all that matters. 🤝

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rainybraindays · 3 days

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Saying this as someone who was bullied, and who is fat, but a corner of this fandoms unwillingness to give Cressida any sympathy while stanning Penelope is weird to me.

Cressida and Penelope are incredibly similar. Their mothers are both abusive women who look down on those around them. They both enjoy gossip, they both have a mean streak, and they're both in similar positions this season.

But for some reason Penelope is forgivable but Cressida isn't?

People often talk of Portias cruelty (though they often downplay it but thats a different post) and how its why Penelope does a lot of what she does, but its the same with Cressida.

As early as s1 we see Cressidas mother brushing her off, she says to violet "My Cressida may have the fortune, but Daphne has the face." And if I remember correctly Cressida is beside her as she says this. Her mother casually insults her, in public to a rather influential person, with no care for her daughters feelings. In s3 its even more blatant with how the moment Cressida voices how she's not interested in Debling her mother starts in on how shes 3 seasons in an unmarried, how shes on the road to spinsterdom. She says "you may find me cruel" and then guilts her with how her father is cutting their allowance to justify it. Cressida has no siblings so Araminta has made every other girl in the ton her competition to a far greater degree than other girls, because while they all seem to have friend groups, Cressida doesn't consistently have the same friends. How is she able to keep a friend when the one time one shows up to see her, shes told shes not to be seen with her anymore?

Eloise is the first true friend shes had in years, and its clear through their interactions that while Cressida can be cruel, its not all she is. The cruelty is a shield, much like Whistledown is for Penelope. The main difference is that while Cressidas cruelty is open and known, Penelope is hiding the worst parts of herself. Part of this is because while both Araminta and Portia are open in their cruelty to their daughters, the former is overbearing while the later is neglectful.

While Penelope has been left alone to try and find a husband, given up on before her presentation, Cressida is constantly thrown at everyman who seems to be looking for a wife. Theres no attempt to have her actually form a connection, which I'd argue is part of why her courtships never leave the early stages. She puts on an act for them, likely at her mothers insistence, much like Portia insists Penelope play dumb for Debling.

People also keep asking "why isn't Cressida considered a spinster?" When she very nearly is? She says it herself, her mother says it, this is her last year to really have a chance. The only reason she wouldn't become an actual spinster is because th Cowpers have connections the Featheringtons don't, and are not against marrying her off to the first old friend of her father's who is willing.

Cressida has done everything she can to draw attention to herself, her hair, her clothes, they scream "look at me!" She has put on mask after mask to try and be the woman whichever man she may be speaking to may want, and has failed everytime. She is one of, if not the last, of the girls in her debut year who has yet to get engaged, or even close to an engagement, and she is scared. Anything she does in part 2, I expect because at this point she has three (known) failed courtship attempts, and the threat of a man the age of her father as a husband hanging over her head.

Cressidas been a bully, thats true, but shes also being abused. If you can justify Penelope as Whistledown because shes bullied and shes abused, but can't even find sympathy for Cressida you should maybe think about why ones negatives are okay, but the others aren't.

#rainy talks #cressida cowper #araminta cowper #penelope featherington #bridgerton #sorry i saw a post and i felt like yapping lol #like i didn't like s1 or s2 Cressida but a look into her lifehas given me huge amounts of sympathy for her #i don't think you have to like her but the unwillingness to view her outside of the mask shes shown to society is odd #portia featherington #especially with how similar their mothers are??#like damn they even go to the same school of thought that the best way to get attention is to do something insane with your clothes and hair

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bingsooow · 9 hours

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Okay so probably a very cliche thing to write about BUT im a SUCKER for it

Venture notices fem!reader is getting hit on at a party and glares at the person doing it the entire time. Once the reader and venture get home, they immediately press her against the wall and “questions” her. Aka, they get jealous as HELL 😈

BONUS POINTS IF VENTURE CALLS THE READER “PRINCESS” i am a major softie for it 💕

Sorry for the late response so to make up for it I’ll make this extra juicy 😝

Sloan didn’t want to go to this pity party the wayfinders decided to put on. Everybody was able to bring guests and just enjoy themselves how they wanted to. Sloan decided to bring their partner Y/n. She looked absolutely stunning in their eyes and behind her they looked like a lovesick puppy.

However with that it also meant that they had to be extra protective over her. They didn’t want anybody thirsting over what was theirs. Y/n was their angel and everything they could ever ask for. Sloan was blessed to even be able to breathe the same air as her. As much as she told them she wasn’t anything special Sloan refused to believe it.

There had been somebody at the party who made Sloan uncomfortable. It was this guy who seemed to be thirsting on whats theirs. It annoyed them, but without probable cause they couldn’t do anything about it.

The night progressed and as it did the guy seemed to be making moves at Y/n. Sloan was slightly tipsy from the alcohol they ingested while conversing with their team. They looked across the room at the guy leaning against the wall talking to Y/n. They could feel their heart drop to their feet.

But they knew deep in their heart she wouldn’t do anything to them. The way the guy looked at her made Sloans blood boil. But it seemed Y/n didn’t notice. They came over snaking an arm around Y/ns waist and casually joining the conversation. But it seemed the guy didn’t take the hint.

Each lighthearted joke, each compliment to her, the way his eyes scanned her body like she was just some meat irked Sloan. Enough that they decided they wanted to leave early. But they couldn’t just say that. They would feel bad if they forced Y/n to leave so soon.

“Wow I’m so tired! It’s so late.” Sloan fake yawned as they looked at Y/n. She knew what was up because Sloan never usually got tired this early. She nodded agreeing with them. “Yeah it really is, we should get home.” Sloan mentally cheered as the two. Said their goodbyes and eventually went to the home they shared.

As soon as the door closed behind Y/n, Sloan pushed her against the wall, their eyes looking down at her almost with jealousy. But she was focused on how long and pretty their eyelashes were.

“Somebody was being a bit too friendly.” They said with their voice laced with venom. Their hands rested on the soft curves of her body. “What? Sloan I-“ “He was flirting, you and I both know that.” Y/n didn’t say much. It was true. She knew that he was flirting but she didn’t entertain it. Why would she?

“Did you like the attention? Hm? If you just wanted attention mi dulce princesa you could have just asked.” Sloan knew how their Spanish affected her. Like it was a cheat code to get her to fold.

“I-I no- It’s not..” But there wasn’t a good enough excuse. Maybe she did want attention. But it’s not like she would ask them for it. She expected them to just know.

“You’re such a terrible liar. If you wanted me to compliment you I would have told you that you were prettier than any star in the sky. Or maybe you wanted to be lusted over. Seen as sexy? And god you really are.”

Sloan looked from her eyes to her lips. Then to her neck. They leaned in and kissed her neck, softly biting upon some parts of it. They then went up and kissed her gently. Some of her darker red lipstick going onto their lips.

“I’ll give you all the attention you could ever ask for tonight, hermosa princesa.”

Cliffhanger!! But I might continue it just lmk if I should, possessive Venture I need them sm

#overwatch venture #overwatch fanfiction #sloane cameron #venture overwatch #venture ow2 #venture x reader

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coloursflyaway · 16 hours

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I And Love And You

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.200

Read on AO3

“Well, so, since I think you’re the best person in existence, the thought that you love me, that’s pretty special”, Charles tries to explain. “And that makes me feel pretty special. That you could love me.” Edwin stays silent for a while, but he doesn’t look away, seemingly figuring something out, making a decision, or a third thing somewhere in between. “That makes sense”, he eventually says, speaking slowly, almost like he is still thinking about it. “In that case, I shall endeavour to tell you more often.”

Edwin tells Charles he loves him again and again, until Charles can say it back.

The first time Edwin tells him he loves him is in 1993 when they are on a case and Charles has been stuck with reading one of the old texts they have at the office for so long that the unfamiliar letters are blurring before his eyes. He didn’t even realise that Edwin noticed he was struggling, but then there’s a soft voice next to his shoulder and a hand snatching the book from the desk in front of him.

“I’ll take care of this one, Charles”, he says, and when Charles turns around, Edwin already has his nose buried in the text, looking a lot less confused by it than Charles was feeling. “I love you”, Charles tells him without thinking, because it’s true every day, but he loves Edwin a little more just now.

And Edwin looks up from the book for a moment, eyebrows raised in surprise, but then his expression softens, almost starts to glow. “I love you, too”, Edwin says, and Charles basks in it for the rest of the night.

The sixty-third time Edwin tells him he loves him is on the steps to Hell, only that it’s different now, means more and means the same simultaneously, and Charles says it back and means it and gets Edwin out of Hell, and truly, that is the only thing that matters.

The sixty-fourth time is on the roof of their building, a few weeks later, when they are looking out over the city. Crystal is with her parents, trying to build some kind of relationship from scratch, so it’s just them, and Charles likes it that way, has missed it, even. As brilliant as Crystal is, in the end this is what his existence comes down to, Edwin and him.

“Do you wish I hadn’t told you?”, Edwin asks, apropos of nothing, into the almost-silence, the hum of cars and life beneath them. Maybe it should take Charles a few moments to figure out what Edwin means, but it really doesn’t; even if they haven’t talked about it yet, Edwin’s confession is never far from his mind. Neither is Hell, neither is how close he came to losing him.

“Nah”, Charles replies easily, looks over at the best friend he ever had, who is not looking back. “I’m glad you trusted me with it. And also, like. It’s quite flattering, to be honest.” He gives Edwin a grin, even if he cannot see it, but maybe Edwin can hear it in his voice, maybe he can sense it, maybe it can make this a little easier.

“Flattering?”, Edwin repeats, and while he says it to the city spread out in front of them, he turns to face Charles afterwards. There is something like hope in his face, and Charles wants to pull him against his chest and make sure Edwin knows he never has to hope to be loved again.

“Yeah, absolutely. You know I think the world of you, right?”

Edwin nods, and that at least is a relief; if he didn’t, Charles would have to reevaluate every choice he has made since meeting him. “Well, so, since I think you’re the best person in existence, the thought that you love me, that’s pretty special”, Charles tries to explain. “And that makes me feel pretty special. That you could love me.”

Edwin stays silent for a while, but he doesn’t look away, seemingly figuring something out, making a decision, or a third thing somewhere in between.

“That makes sense”, he eventually says, speaking slowly, almost like he is still thinking about it. “In that case, I shall endeavour to tell you more often. Because you are very special to me.”

He looks as serious as anything, and it warms something deep inside Charles’ chest, his mind. On impulse, he reaches out and curls his fingers around Edwin’s thin wrist and holds onto it.

“You’re pretty special to me too”, he tells Edwin just for good measure, shoots him a lopsided grin, and Edwin smiles back in that soft way of his that he keeps for Charles alone.

“I am glad to hear that”, he replies, and the muscles under Charles’ grip shift, but Edwin doesn’t pull his hand away. “And Charles?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They are on a case for the sixty-fifth time.

There is a painting that seems to suck ghosts into it if they get too close, trapping them into the canvas, and although they have been going through every and all books their library has to offer, nothing seems to help. So, instead of research they comb through the museum the painting has been hanging in, even if Crystal is the only one of them who can get near enough to actually inspect it.

She takes a picture of it with her tablet and takes it back to them, before she goes back to the painting, trying not to draw attention to herself as she figures out a way to touch the frame without tripping any alarms. At the same time, Charles and Edwin hunch over the tablet computer in a corner of the quiet museum, using clumsy, untrained fingers to go over the painting inch by inch.

It’s a feast of a sort, complete with lavish dishes and glass carafes full of dark red wine, the table set for another six people who have not yet arrived. The ghosts that have been consumed already are crowding the other seats, some looking delighted, some frightened, some just confused.

At the head of the table, a man is seated in a gilded chair, one that Charles does not know from the file they have of the victims, but who looks familiar anyway. He squints, zooms in on his face, and it takes a moment, but then something clicks.

“Mate, I think that’s the artist”, he tells Edwin, the rush of something that could solve the puzzle coming over him, “Do you think he painted himself into it and is somehow taking the others?”

It sounds slightly strange to his own ears when put like this, but Edwin’s eyes go wide, and Charles can see him connecting dots he has not yet noticed.

“He was dying when he painted this”, Edwin says, looking back at the screen, eyes flickering to take in all of it. “And scared of it by all accounts. If he found a spell… and he allowed his own soul to be sucked into it and then used it to trap others so he would not have to face his afterlife alone… oh, Charles, you are a genius!”

Without wasting a second, Edwin gets up, shouting for Crystal, but before he can run over to her, Edwin turns around once more. “I love you”, he tells Charles, and it’s sweet and it’s honest and Charles takes the words and tucks them deep down into the centre of his soul, and follows Edwin to solve the case.

The seventieth time Edwin tells him he loves him, Charles has just dropped a priceless artefact on the floor where it had splintered into a thousand pieces. It’s not important for their case, just something they picked up in Tromsö as payment for a quick missing person quest, and Charles hadn’t meant to drop it when pulling it out of his backpack; it had just happened.

Edwin looks at him, exasperated but too tired to argue, and says, “You should count yourself lucky that I love you.”

Maybe it’s not the cleverest response, but it’s the only one Charles can give. “I do. Every day.”

The seventy-first time is when they are back at the agency afterwards. Half an hour earlier Crystal had passed out on the sofa, mumbling something about not thinking she should be forced to walk back to her apartment when their sofa was just there, so Charles is sitting on the floor instead. He’s trying to figure out if he should move the jar of bees further up in the backpack where there is now an open spot when Edwin clears his throat behind the desk.

It’s nothing he does often, usually electing just to speak without preamble, so the sound makes Charles look up at him almost immediately.

“What’s up?”, he asks, and Edwin hesitates; another thing that isn’t like him at all.

“You do know that I don’t truly think you have to count yourself lucky that I love you, don’t you?” He asks the question in such a stilted, adorably Edwin way that Charles cannot help but smile at him, metaphorical heart overwhelmed with affection for this impossible, brilliant, beautiful boy.

“Of course I know that”, he replies and Edwin seems to relax immediately, like this truly was something weighing heavily on his mind. “I do, though. Every day.”

And he means it.

The seventy-third time Edwin tells him he loves him, Charles is on the floor, legs drawn up against his chest and his head resting against his knees. In death, there is no more exhaustion and yet Charles feels it, his limbs so heavy he cannot lift them, his eyes burning as if he had been crying for hours.

He hasn’t, he doesn’t think he deserves to.

If there is something Charles hates it is cases where they can’t do anything at all, where they try and they try and then, they try again, but the outcome has been fixed beforehand and in the end, the only thing they can do is watch someone being dragged to Hell. To a Hell that Charles knows now, one that haunts his thoughts in the hours in between, showing him Edwin covered in blood and so, so scared, a hundred of his bodies discarded and ripped to shreds in a corner.

Edwin, who sits down next to him, although Charles knows he doesn’t like sitting on the floor, who puts a hand on Charles’s shoulder and squeezes.

“Charles?”, he asks softly, and there is so much compassion, so much understanding in his voice that it almost makes the tears in Charles’ eyes spill over. “I love you.”

And it’s enough and it’s too much and there are tears running down his cheeks, but Edwin holds him when Charles flings himself into his arms, tucks him under his chin and keeps him safe, and he’ll be alright.

They’ll be alright in the end.

The seventy-fifth time is a few days later, when Charles is feeling almost like himself again. They are trying to decide on a new case, one that won’t leave Charles feeling like they have to carry the weight of the world on their backs, and Crystal decided to sit this one out no matter which case they picked, so it’s just them.

“To be honest, the only thing that matters to me is that it won’t have the potential to go horrifically wrong this time”, Charles explains as he sorts through their case files, and it feels a little like a confession. Edwin would never judge him for his response to their last case, he knows that, and yet it feels a little shameful, because he might have been in Hell for an afternoon, but not long enough to warrant any of this.

“I could not agree more”, Edwin concedes and puts away a few envelopes without opening them. “How about a simple shoe-leather case for now?”

“Yeah, that sounds good”, Charles says, and it feels like relief and it feels like shirking a duty he usually asks to fulfil. And maybe that feeling is audible in his voice, maybe Edwin just knows him so well, since his expression softens, and he picks out one of the case files at random, hands it to Charles.

“Let us try this one”, Edwin tells him, before putting a hand on his shoulder, like he put a hand on Charles’ knee back then on the floor. “And Charles? You did nothing wrong. I love you.”

And maybe it’s hard to believe in that moment, but Edwin looks at him with such certainty, and if there is anything Charles is good at, it’s trusting him. So he takes a deep breath, a luxury he sometimes indulges in, and nods.

“I love you, too”, he says, and that, as well, is something he can trust.

The seventy-eighth time Edwin tells him he loves him, is because of nothing in particular at all. It’s a Sunday morning, the sun shining through the windows and although Charles cannot feel its heat on his skin, he has still pulled the sofa over to luxuriate in the brightness.

“Charles?”, comes from the other side of the room, and Charles just hums to indicates that he has heard Edwin. “I love you.”

The words make him look up and over at Edwin, who is watching him from where he has been reorganising their library; he looks soft and happy in a mellow, relaxed kind of way. Charles wants to push back the strand of hair that has fallen into his face.

“Love you, too”, he says instead, chest aglow with the words, a spark hidden between that warmth, and settles back into the cushions. “You should come over and enjoy the sun with me.”

“We cannot feel the sun”, Edwin counters, but there is little actual objection in his voice.

“I know”, Charles says, and scoots over so Edwin would fit right next to him, if he wanted to do so. “But we can pretend.”

The seventy-ninth time they are on the very top of the London Eye for no reason at all, just that they haven’t had a case in a week and Charles had been itching to get outside and do something. Edwin had done his best to pretend to resist, but had lasted only a few minutes before letting Charles drag him through the walls.

A little part of Charles misses Crystal, because she would love the view, but Crystal is on a date. With a living man whose dead aunt they had as a client a month ago, and while Crystal had seemed nervous to tell him, Charles finds that he doesn’t care much about it.

Not because he doesn’t care about Crystal, not at all, but because their little fling had naturally fizzled out after he had brought Edwin back from Hell. They had never talked about it, but even that would have felt unnecessary; there was no way Charles would sneak off to kiss Crystal when Edwin was in love with him. Even if he still isn’t sure what that makes them, Charles knows he couldn’t continue anything with Crystal when he had promised Edwin that they would figure out the rest between them.

So, Crystal is on a date and Charles is here, looking out across the city next to Edwin, the murmur of the other passengers’ conversation easily drowned out by decades of practice.

“It looks so peaceful from up here, don’t you think?”, Charles asks, because before their little break, they had spent far too many days running from people with iron machetes and murderous intent.

Edwin nods his approval, and Charles reaches out and takes his hand, because he wants to feel that Edwin is beside him. Not in Hell, not in the grasp of a witch, not in any kind of danger. Just next to Charles, exactly where he belongs.

“I’m glad we’re getting a little break in between everything”, he continues and runs his thumb across Edwin’s knuckles. He might not be able to feel the soft skin there, the warmth of Edwin’s blood beneath it, but he still feels something, and that’s enough. “I feel like we deserve it.”

“That we do”, Edwin agrees, and for a moment, Charles can feel his fingers tightening. “Maybe, if it continues for a little longer, we could go out of town for a few days? We haven’t done that in a while. Perhaps to Florence, or Berlin. I remember you liking it there.”

“Great idea, that’d be aces”, Charles tells him and Edwin smiles out at the city; it’s good, and yet Charles wishes Edwin would smile at him instead. “We can start making plans once we’re back home.”

“Fantastic”, Edwin replies and then, “Also, Charles? I love you.”

And this time something flutters in Charles’ chest, delicate and lovely as a nightingale, and Charles intertwines their fingers, because he wants to feel Edwin a little closer, still. “I love you too.”

The eightieth time Edwin tells him he loves him is in Berlin, after Crystal has left to go to a rave. She had been delighted to go on a trip, and although it meant that Edwin and he would spend a few hours on a plane instead of just walking through a mirror, Charles is happy to have her there. And yet, when she had asked if he wanted to join her, he had turned her down without a second thought.

Chances is sure he would have enjoyed going dancing, even if he would be left without the booze and the drugs, but it’s not as compelling a thought as to spend a night wandering the city with Edwin at his side.

So here he is, walking from the Neptune fountain towards the Lustgarten, where Edwin wants to take a look at the Old Museum and their antiquities collection. They have been here before in the early 2000s and Charles remembers it better than expected, the broad streets and the relentless traffic and most of all the breeze in the air that feels like freedom and promise.

“I’m very glad we came here”, Edwin says softly; Charles can hear him even over the cars passing them every few moments. “We should do it more often, getting out of the city. Maybe we could go to Prague next, they have a fascinating cathedral. Or Vienna, I always wanted to visit the catacombs there.”

“Sure, sounds good”, Charles responds easily. He knows little about Vienna and even less about Prague, but if Edwin wants to go, he will gladly follow. “I’ll ask Crystal if she has a preference, then we could draw up a list of places to go. Maybe take the agency on a worldwide tour.”

He shoots Edwin a grin, who smiles back a little distractedly, before asking, “Speaking of Crystal, why didn’t you go with her tonight? Would the music not be to your tastes?”

“I don’t know much about the music, to be honest. It’s not like I’ve ever been to a rave before”, Charles replies, shrugging his shoulders. “I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

“We spend all our time together.”

“I know”, Charles replies and bumps his shoulder into Edwin’s, just to feel the resistance there, to know Edwin is next to him. It warms something within his chest, not just his heart, but everything around it, too, makes him think of springtime and bluebells and Edwin’s smile. “I like it that way.”

There is no response for some time, but that is fine, because they are crossing the bridge to the Museum Island, and Charles is happy to watch the city around them, listen to its energy, its life. At some point, he slips his hand into Edwin’s and lets their fingers weave together; it’s nothing they do often, but still so easy.

“Charles?”, Edwin eventually says when they are almost at their destination. His voice sounds different, almost fragile, like something Charles would give his life to protect. “I love you.”

And there it is again, that little flutter, that warmth spreading further through his chest, because Edwin loves him, and Charles isn’t certain if there could be anything more precious than that knowledge.

“I know. I love you, too.”

The eighty-fourth time Edwin tells him he loves him, they are running. Not for their lives but for their continued existence, and it’s terrifying because Charles can almost taste the blackdarknothingness at the back of his throat and the thought that he might never see Edwin again is the most terrifying thing he has ever faced, like it is every single time this happens.

They round a corner and Charles reaches out to grasp Edwin’s hand in his, even if he knows it will slow them down, because he has to feel Edwin next to him at least one more time.

Edwin looks over at him and he looks as terrified as Charles feels, a twin look of despair on their faces, and for a moment, he squeezes Charles’ hand before letting go again.

“I love you”, he shouts at Charles through the noise the creature chasing them makes, and within the terror and the defiance and the desperation, there is a bright spark, a hint of warmth, because Edwin loves him and even if they blink out of existence, Edwin will have loved him and that makes any fate worth it.

“I love you, too”, Charles yells back, and means it more than anything he has ever said before in his life.

The eighty-fifth time is only minutes later, when Crystal has hit the creature with the potion they prepared this morning, followed it up with whatever she does with her powers now when she goes silent and wild and unstoppable. They are safe, and they are together, and Charles isn’t sure if one of them hugs the other first or if they just meet somewhere in the middle, a flurry of limbs grasping at each other and relieved laughter.

Charles’ head fits into the curve between Edwin’s shoulder and neck easily, Edwin’s chin digging into the flesh of his shoulder, and it’s bliss, being here. It’s bliss, being with Edwin.

“I love you”, Edwin mumbles into the crook of Charles’ neck, and Charles pulls him closer, wants to forget entirely where he ends and Edwin begins.

“I love you, too”, he replies and there are tears in his eyes, in his voice; his heart and chest are so full of it, it feels like they are spilling over, pumping sunshine and warmth and bluebells and Edwin’s smile through his limbs. “I love you so much. I love you the most.”

The hundred-seventeenth time Charles tells Edwin he loves him, they are back at the agency and it’s just a Thursday, the sky grey with clouds and a few non-urgent cases waiting for them on Edwin’s desk.

There is nothing special about it, not about the day, not about the time, not about them sitting together on the sofa in companionable silence. It’s a day that has happened a hundred times before and will happen a thousand more, but on this one, Charles looks over at Edwin on a whim, and it’s like he sees him for the first time, the thousandth time, the last time.

He is beautiful, like he has always been, ever since Charles had seen him back at the school for that very first time, bathed in the golden glow of a lamp that wouldn’t be enough to save him, and Charles loves him, has loved him, will love him for as long as he exists.

“Hey, Edwin”, he says softly, and watches Edwin look up, carefully put his finger down between the pages of his book before closing it. A hundred times he has seen it before, and yet it makes Charles smile now. “I love you.”

It takes a moment, but then Edwin smiles back at him, soft and sweet and like he is truly happy, and Charles moves before he can have a single thought.

Edwin’s lips are as soft, as plush as they look, and Charles cannot feel them, but he can feel them still, just like he can feel them parting in surprise, can feel the curve of Edwin’s jaw as he reaches out to grasp it. He kisses Edwin like he might have wanted to for years, kisses his love for him onto Edwin’s skin, licks and nips until Edwin’s lips part beneath his ministrations, and Charles can lick into his mouth and pretend to taste him.

The kiss lasts a moment and forever at the same time, and when Charles eventually pulls away, Edwin’s hair is slightly mussed from his fingers, his lips shining wet and his eyes still closed, only fluttering open slowly. He’s beautiful and he loves Charles and Charles loves him.

His hand is still cradling Edwin’s cheek, and for a second, Edwin nuzzles into it; Charles’ heart is a supernova, is collapsing into itself, is being born once more.

“You love me like this?”, Edwin asks, quiet and hopeful and lovely, and Charles nods before he can even finish the sentence.

“I love you in every way there is.”

Edwin’s eyes light up like stars, like sunlight, like the grey, clouded over sky on days that are special simply because they are together, and Charles wants to fall to his knees and pray to him, kiss his devotion onto Edwin’s palms and wrists and soles of his feet.

“I love you, too”, Edwin says, and Charles leans in and kisses his devotion onto his lips instead.

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #edwin payne #edwin paine #charles rowland #painland #payneland #paynland #chedwin #charles x edwin #edwin x charles

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