#this is not about anyone in particular btw i'm just tired of seeing this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

After the announcement of the deal with Yahoo!, there were 170K signatures of unhappy Tumblr users petitioning to prevent the sale in 2013.

#this is not about anyone in particular btw i'm just tired of seeing this

celestialrealms · 11 months

Text

ngl it’s such a pet peeve of mine when people just... no nuance, no thought praise the so-called “slow burn” barbatos and mc have

because YES. the idea of it is good. but solmare not giving him any screen time means it is handled HORRIBLY. mc and barbatos should have twenty times the amount of relationship development and interaction than they do now, even if the romantic progression was still just as slow, to deserve even a fraction of the praise it gets?

idk it just frustrates me. imo Barbatos is the most interesting character in obm and my favorite... and he deserves just as much care and attention put into his “slow burn” arc as lucifer got. we shouldn’t have spent all three seasons he was a romance option getting nothing but scraps while people praise solmare for the incompetent writing 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♂️

#this is not about anyone in particular btw i'm just tired of seeing this #obey me barbatos #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #and its one thing when people who have him as their favorite say this #but for fans of the other characters?#nah man shut up <3 #idk!!#the annoying this is i actually Loved a lot of his scenes especially in season 4 #simeon is my second favorite but they shafted him and his plot which should have been the main focus #so much that i honestly think barbatos was far and away the standout character in season 4 to me #but the fact is he should have WAY more screen time and interaction with the mc than he's getting

63 notes · View notes

feelbokkie · 3 months

Text

Emergency Bokkie's Room #2

(Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again)

I want to start off by saying that I'm not mad. At least not right now. I was at first, but I'm just tired at this point and something should be said.

You might have noticed that I haven't been as active content writing wise lately and that I've stopped tagging my mutuals in the hashtag section of my posts and there are reasons for that.

fair warning, there will be swearing below

there will also probably be spelling and grammar mistakes bc I don't care

I am getting tired. I'm not burnt out. God, I wish I was because i have so many ideas running through my head at all times that it's exhausting.

I'm straight up, no longer having a good time on this account and that's because of somethings that have been happening behind the scenes. I wasn't going to talk about it but at the end of the day, I should address them, even if it's only once.

In no particular order:

First, if you're going to harass my mutuals. Don't. I stopped tagging my mutuals via hashtags, I deleted my mutuals list, and I am painstakingly going through the old hashtags and deleting them. They're my friendships. Who I interact with, how I interact with them, and when I interact with them is between me and that individual.

If you want to be friends with me, talk to me. Ask anyone, I'm pretty pleasant to talk to when I'm not going through it.

But also, remember that I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone fighting my battles for me. If you're concerned about who I surround myself with, take that up with me directly, or trust that can handle things on my own. Because, at the end of the day, I can. If you're mad that I'm friends with them and not you, maybe try having a conversation with me first before you go attacking people. Just a a help suggestion.

Second,

i know i'm annoying at times. i'm the youngest child, it's in my blood. if you are getting annoyed by my rambles, simply just block them. I tag all my rumbles and I even made a helpful guide on how to do so right here and i even have a list of commonly used tags that i have on this account too that you can also block

Finally, I shouldn't have to say this because it should be very obvious but shit like this is never okay:

First of all, if you're going to be blatantly racist to anyone, unkindly get the fuck off my page. My fics are not for you. I don't have the time or patience to deal with you or your ignorant ass. If I see you being disrespectful towards anyone in my asks, comments, etc. it's an automatic block on all my accounts, I don't give a single fuck.

Secondly, I'm delusional, yes, but I'm also just having fun. I'm not actually trying to date anyone in skz or any other idol for that matter. It's called a joke, I don't know if anyone's explained the concept to you, but it's not to be taken seriously. Just like my page isn't. Me joking about me dating Seungmin and how "that man owns me atp" isn't serious and it wasn't serious enough for you to call me the n-word with the hard -er. Which, congratulations btw, you are the second person ever to call me that to my face (the first being my dad and he is the devil reincarnate so, what does that make you?).

I shouldn't have to sit here and lecture anyone on basic human decency and common sense but here we are. We are very rapidly approaching a future where I'm just not on tumblr at all anymore which sucks for a multitude of reasons and I'm just trying to have fun like everyone else.

Okay, that's all. For those of you who read through the end and didn't need to be scolded, sorry about that. Please take this big hug as an apology

#emergency feelbokkies room

60 notes · View notes

weirdgenetic-fuckup · 1 month

Note

Can you do a castor fic where the reader is also in a band? your castor fics are soo good btw <3

A/n: tysm <3 I'm so glad people love Castor as much as I do! I need to write for him more :') I know not many people write for him, I've also been thinking about London Hudson(Slash's son) a lot recently and was wondering if anyone would be interested in something about him🤔

Warnings: Smut, finger(f receiving), oral(f receiving), squirting, size!kink, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Bastardane was going on tour and decided to bring along another band with them, that band just so happened to be yours. You were the drummer of another small band and when you guys were offered the chance to go on tour with another metal band you took it with open arms.

The tour wasn’t a break for your band as you were working on songs for your next album, the driving was a good opportunity for writing and banging out some good riffs and whatnot for when you got back, and when you did you guys went straight to the nearest studio.

During your time with Bastardane your band got pretty close with them. They were great people with great energies to be around and it made the whole trip such a positive experience.

You ended up especially close with the other drummer, Castor. You kept chalking it up to being because you were both drummers but on more than one occasion you two had been caught cuddling together, dancing together and doing other romantic things. Still, you refused to believe it was anything more than just being friendly...

This particular day you were so tired of everyone and everything. You dropped by a grocery store because you were running low on food, a group of girls started following you around and doing whatever they could to make your time a living hell. A random dude yelled at you when your card didn’t work the first try and you almost left without any of your things.

Finally, when you thought you were in a place where you could get out some of that anger you kept messing up on your parts. You started too soon, too late. You hit the wrong drum, repeatedly. Nothing was going your way.

Your band went to get lunch, they wanted you to come but you declined, refusing to leave until you’d gotten through a full song with no mistakes. They asked you over and over again to come with them but you wouldn’t budge and they eventually left with the intention to bring you back something to eat.

Not long after they left you heard a knock on the door and it fucked up what you were playing. You threw your drumstick and it bounced off your hi-tom. The door opened and in came Castor, although he entered hesitantly after having seen your little fit.

“How’s it going?” He asked with a soft smile as he slowly came closer to you. You reached over to pick up your stick and went back to getting through the song, starting at the beginning again. “That good, huh?” You didn’t hear him, choosing instead to just go harder until you had it right.

It wasn’t that easy and you made another mistake. This time you just froze and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before throwing your stick again. It made it across the room and hit the wall on the other side with enough force that it snapped in half.

Seeing the two pieces on the floor you just sat back on your seat and let out the breath you took. Your seat rocked and you tipped back, landing hard on your tailbone. “Mother fucker!” You yelled, getting up and throwing the seat away as well. You were huffing and could feel tears brimming in your eyes.

A hand came on your shoulder and you turned to see Castor looking down at you with a worried expression. “Uh, I was told you were having a rough day.” He said, glancing around the room. “Didn’t know it was quite this bad.”

“Oh, fuck off, would you?” You groaned and went to get your seat back.

“Why don’t you take a break?” He asked, trying to keep a calm tone in hopes of calming you down as well. “Might help clear your mind so you could get it right without putting a hole in the wall.” He had a small smile, adding a teasing hint to his voice.

You dropped your seat back in its spot. “I don’t need a break.” You grumbled.

“I think you do.” Again he turned you to face him.

“I’m fine, I just need to get this right.” You said, taking a step. Castor stopped you, lifted you onto your drumset with ease.

“You’re taking a break.” He repeated more firmly. You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest.

“What, am I just supposed to sit here?” You looked up at Castor and noticed his gaze was wandering. “Cas?” His eyes quickly met yours and he gave a small hum in acknowledgement. You looked down to see what he’d been looking at.

You were wearing a skirt, a tight faux leather one, one that rode up your thighs when you spread your legs even slightly and revealed your panties at the right angle. You looked back up at Castor and his gaze had fallen to your panties again, this time he seemed less embarrassed to do so, biting his lower lip.

You enjoyed the way he looked at you. Hungry, lustful eyes, a window into his filthiest thoughts.

Castor got on his knees between your legs, looking up at you for affirmation that this was ok. You bit your lip and give him a quick nod. He pushed your skirt up a little more and pulled your panties down your thighs. He admired your slick folds for a moment, pressing a few kisses to your inner thighs before lapping up your juices.

You watched him between your head rolling back and your eyes closing from the pleasure. He was watching you, seeing what made you feel the best, how your face morphed when he did something you liked.

He pushed one long digit into you, curling it inside you until he heard a noise he liked. He proceeded to hit that same spot over and over again, relishing the way it made you squirm.

When he noticed you were close he pulled away. You whined loudly at the sudden lack of sensation only to calm right down when Castor undid his jeans and pulled himself out of his boxers. His cock was hard and leaking, begging for you just as much as you were for him.

He held a hand out to you. “Spit.” He ordered. You did as you were told and spit in his hand. He stroked himself a few times, using your saliva as lube before pushing himself into you.

You let out a loud gasp as he hit deep inside you, making your stomach bulge slightly. You always thought you just liked that he was taller than you because it made cuddling easier, you’d never thought it would go deeper than that. Both figuratively and literally.

Castor gave you a moment to adjust to his size, not moving until you told him he could. He went slow at first, trying to savour the feelings but soon the sounds you were making got to him and he couldn’t stop himself from going faster.

He held your hips as he rammed his hips into you, making you moan louder and louder. He groaned in your ear, mumbling about how good you felt around him, how badly he wanted this.

A knot built in your gut, a familiar yet different feeling. “Fuck, Cassey, ‘m gonna cum.” You mumbled. Your hands were on the toms behind you, needing to hold onto something. Castor moved a hand and started rubbing circles on your clit. You came hard around him, watching your cum squirt over his abdomen, soaking into his shirt and jeans.

You knocked your cymbals over and the rest of the set eventually went down with it, drowning out both your sounds. Castor didn’t stop. He held you close while he fucked you, bouncing you on his dick. You could feel him twitching inside you, ready to burst and soon he did. You could feel his hot cum hitting your gummy walls while he moaned into your ear.

He carefully set you back down farther away from the fallen drums. You pulled your skirt back down, Castor examined your drumset. “Nothing seems broken.” He said, picking up your panties off the floor and shoving them in his pocket. He got himself back into his damp pants before turning to you.

You had a knowing look, your arms crossed over your chest once more. “What?” He asked, feigning innocence. He patted the small bump in his pocket. “I’m keeping these.” You smiled at him, taking a few steps closer and leaning up to kiss him. Knowing that he’s a giraffe, he met you halfway.

When you pulled away you looked back to the mess, chewing your cheek. “I don’t wanna clean this up.” You said, looking to Castor for an answer.

“Lunch?” He asked, holding a hand out for you to take. You happily accepted the offer and followed him out of the studio.

#bastardane #bastardane smut #bastardane x reader #castor hetfield x reader #castor hetfield smut #castor hetfield

20 notes · View notes

bloggingboutburgers · 10 months

Note

Hi! Hope you're doing well. I've got a coupla questions (sorry if they've been asked before and/or are dumb)

Can I be aroace if I daydream about The One but like most of the time it's paired with a fictional version of me not me actually? Or am I just tryna be something I'm not?

Cause like I'm married rn (arranged marriage! Huzzah for culture roles amirite) and it's. Not. Goin well. I act so toxic with the guy and everything he does is like taken as a threat. Everyone says he's a nice guy and he is, probably. But every time I see his face I'm tired. When I have to talk to him, I don't want to. I don't want to spend time with him. I don't wanna hug him or touch him or look at him. He's like super bummed out cause I don't wanna do any of those things or even just be friendly with him. In my monkey brain I think I've got it figured that if I do get friendly then it'll just keep goin and goin and then I'll have to marry-marry him (biblically, if you will). I'm confused if this is just cause I don't like this guy in particular or if I just don't vibe with the whole idea of this in general. Cause I've always dreamt of a soulmate I guess. So maybe I'm just tryna use this to excuse my toxic behaviour? (The toxic behaviour in question is a lack of initiative, failure to communicate and no reciprocity of affection and even instances of revulsion btw) (everyone also keeps pointin out that I get along well with all of his family and that it's just him that I have a problem with, so it's not like I have trouble communicating it's like I choose not to)

It's only been a month and everyone says I'm bein too hasty and dumb but I've been feelin awful for so long now because of this haha. Idek why I'm sending this to you I should just get over myself and be happy with what I got

Thanks either way yo

Hey! So sorry I replied so late... I wasn't sure how to approach this, because I don't want to pass judgement on another culture when I'm not part of that culture while seeing things from the paradigm of my own culture only like it's so easy. I see too many people do it and it rubs me the wrong way so to speak. But I'll say this... As an aroace I am definitely grateful myself that I live in a culture that doesn't force me to get married (knock on wood), because I'd definitely feel similarly to you, I'm pretty sure.

I don't think you're being hasty and dumb for not feeling comfortable in a situation you didn't have a say in. I don't think it's as simple as a "get over yourself" matter like everyone in your surroundings seems to be implying. With that said, I don't know if any of what I'm saying is helping because I have no idea how much area of manoeuver you actually have in this situation, really. Maybe "get over yourself and be happy with what you've got" is all you can afford at that point. Still... You're valid for feeling the way you do.

That being said, unless he's the one who personally originated the arranged marriage, I doubt it's entirely the guy's fault either – as much as this is something anyone should reasonably prepare for, he probably wasn't expecting anything different than the stereotypical way most people say these things go. Not that it justifies expecting things to fall into this stereotypical place without considering the possible variables, but... Yeah. I don't want to tell you to do something that would potentially put you in danger, so please definitely disregard what I'm about to say if that doesn't feel like a safe option to you, but I hope you can talk things out with him on the long run so that he understands why you're this way with him. Of course in an ideal scenario he should understand on his own, but... Yeah it's not necessarily as simple, right? And I know even my whole thing of "talking things out is key" is idealistic thinking and doesn't always work. But in this case I wish it could TwT

Either way, to answer your first question... Deeefinitely nothing wrong with that. If it's anything that helps you get by on a day-to-day basis, by all means, hold on to it. If all else fails that's still the best thing. I hope you can stay as safe as you can T^T

#so sorry i hope i didn't make an ass out of myself #it's a very complicated situation and i don't think i'm qualified to say anything #i've probably said more than i should've said #aroace #arranged marriage #i really hope you'll stay safe either way #anon #sending lots of love

22 notes · View notes

shiny-jr · 2 years

Note

i just.... (squimshes warde and kurse) my boys. my Silly Littleman slaughterers. i miss them. since reqs are open -- mayhaps you would be willing to spare a sap of a soul some content about Them? maybe... maybe something like our MC wearing partly revealing clothes? perhaps they'd both be pleasantly shocked because wow!! in their era (and this world) they have never seen this robust fashion style! (and they can't deny how jawdropping it looks on our MC)

Warning: Yandere thing (like none, really). Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Warde, Kurse.

Note: The lads. The boys. I think this is the first time anyone has actually sent something in about them. Oh, btw, you sent this ask in like three times. I don't know if that was an error on Tumblr's end or you did it purposefully, but please refrain from sending in repetitive asks. Thank you. Also, I'm gonna write the clothes as not really super revealing. Probably just shorts and sleeveless shirts, normal clothes. It makes more sense that way, because the MC of that story is the equivalent of a broke and tired college student from a modern world while Warde comes from a very early 1900s period (loosely based off the Edwardian Era) and Kurse comes from a 1920's-1940's period (inspired by Roaring 20's and after).

WARDE, CREATION OF DARKNESS

At first when he was summoned, Warde is truly taken aback. You have to remember, Warde was a powerful figure in his last life. He was surrounded by war. So hardly anyone wore anything revealing, because it was best to be fully covered when danger was lurking around ever corner.

So imagine his horror when he's making you morning tea/coffee and sees you stumbling into the kitchen in shorts and an oversized t-shirt (your pjs). It nearly causes him to loose his composure, as his overprotective mind immediately questioned, what if they were stabbed? Those clothes provide no protection!

But then he remembers, wait... this world is different. There's no active war he plays a main part of. Still, he is constantly concerned. Eventually he'll grow accustomed to your outfit choices, but when you inquire his opinion on what clothes you should wear for the day, he always subtly suggests the clothes with most protection and enough layers.

It's not that he wants to control how you dress, he has no right to do that. It's merely a suggestion. After all, you are technically wanted in this magic world, and at any moment you could actually be stabbed or attacked. It's why he always carries around a change of clothes for you. Something that's breathable in, something that covers nearly every inch of your lower body.

Warde is still deeply paranoid that the worst can happen, but he won't ever argue with you if you wish to wear something else. Your happiness and comfort are still highly important to him. Now it just looks like he'll have to be more vigilant and protective, should someone even look at you wrong.

KURSE, THE CREATION OF LIGHTNING

Kurse is vastly different compared to his calm and orderly counterpart Warde. Yes, he too came from an early time period where wearing particular clothes may have been frowned upon. But in his time, people were changing and trying new styles, revealing more skin. Kurse took it to another level.

As an incredibly famous celebrity, Kurse got away with a lot. He dressed in some ways not seen as acceptable until years later, he acted in similar ways too. The creation is fond of clothing and fashion, since he sees it as a form of expression. He’s by far the best dressed creation (of the four there will eventually be).

Probably even helps you decide on your outfit for the day, since his taste is impeccable. Enjoys it because it’s fun and he likes to give Warde a heart attack every once in while just to spite the older creation. You once taught him the word “slay” and that’s now his favorite word. You’ll often receive it in compliments from him.

He’s not really worried about people looking at you. He has enough confidence in himself and his skills, plus he believes people should dress as they please. The trouble you’ll have with him is not overprotectiveness like Warde, but sometimes when you make a wrong decision with your outfit, Kurse will flat-out tell you, and he does not kindly mince words.

But anyways, he enjoys dressing you up just to steal you away from his counterpart. If you ask him for advice on an outfit, expect at least an hour or more of looking through the wardrobes or going out to buy more clothes. He’s going to make the most out of this time, and he’s not letting you go for a couple of hours.

#my oc #my story #the creator #warde #kurse

39 notes · View notes

lolexjpg · 4 months

Text

dts s4 e9-10

e9: -another 4433 episode frothing at the mouth for it -if lewis had said 'thats what you get when you dont leave the space' after silverstone could you IMAGINE the things christian horner would've said. but max can say it after running over lewis' head. i guess -anyway i NEED another max/lewis championship fight yall dont understand -'christian is a bit like a jack russell terrier who likes to snap at your heels' no one does reads like toto jfc kaldjfasjdfalksjdf -'i don't believe to be successful you need to be an asshole.' SUSIE I LOVE U MWAH -the way lewis's voice gets high pitched when hes passionate abt something i love him i'm putting him in my pocket -not dts giving michael masi a whole introduction one episode before he gets murdered by public opinion -the shots of jeddah at night are So Pretty i actually really do like this track -the way rb talk about max's ruined quali lap is how i talk abt logan's deleted quali lap in jeddah. btw -the way they use mick's crash to set up "oh theres a safety car all the cars are gonna bunch up now~ wonder if anyone will use this opportunity for new tires :)" just setting up all this information for us to know NOW. for no particular reason :) -not max complaining that the SAFETY CAR is going TOO SLOW hes such a BRAT -god i need to see this race. aus23 levels of chaos it seems -i'm sorry but rb being like 'idk why max is being investigated 🥺 hamilton's the one that drove into the back of HIM 🥺🥺' like omg like max didnt do this EXACT thing to daniel baku 2018. its a PATTERN babes -when will my mans win again :( i'm sad :(

e10: -havent even started but i'm gonna CRY watching this episode i swear i am so serious -i'm already just so stressed out. being a max AND lewis girlie is only for god's strongest soldiers fr -'they like all this drama, but when we actually start racing they dont like it' max is so REAL for this -lewis hamilton rainbow helmet u will always be famous 2 me 😍 -checo max underrated ship btw. that cockwarming fic abt them *chefs kiss* -music is just making my stress worse (phenomenal) -part of me wishes i spent this winter break watching old races instead of watching dts, and this is a moment i'm really feeling it. i'm looking forward to at some point being able to watch this race and form my own opinions -( the end of the day i think regardless this result is never getting overturned and i'm at peace with that and i think other lewis girlies should work on that too~) -i will say. and maybe i'm missing something. i do understand the discourse abt only the lapped cars between max n lewis being allowed to unlap. BUT. if every car got to unlap themselves instead. would the result have been any different. how much does that particular detail matter. -ok now i'm just JEALOUS of u bitches who got to watch this live. i could've been there instead i was experiencing such intense trauma that i've forgotten most of 2021 (also i didnt know f1 existed) -OH I SAID I WAS GONNA CRY I KNEW I WAS GONNA CRY -i love lewis. i will always pick lewis over max. THAT BEING SAID -i watch this and i just feel relief. knowing the pressure he's been under his whole life from his father. for the first time in his life since he was little he gets to lift that pressure off his shoulders. i'm so happy for him. and like. you can TELL. how easier it is for him after this win. no matter the technicalities of this win, i find it impossible to be upset with all that context. i just feel overwhelmed with love

#violently unwell btw #dtsrewatch #she speaks

2 notes · View notes

kennedysharper · 4 months

Text

going in the RE tags to look for content is so funny bc like I have a lot of blogs so I go look for stuff in a lot of tags but RE's or more specifically leon's is funny bc like 80% of the content is "x reader" fics which I do find very funny since he doesn't have one predominant pairing but instead many of his ships are popular which is also very funny so fans thrive with oc or self-insert stuff (which is all fine btw before someone misinterprets me) bc boy are people absolutely THIRSTY for that man lol (don't worry I am too but just more quietly lol) and then lots of hcs and meta(y) stuff and some art and a bit of gifs and it's all fine normal fandom behavior it's just the fact that most of them have leon completely ooc lmao I just glance at some stuff and I'm like hummmmmmm yeah that's not leon at all lmao and then you have people talking about his timeline and it's all nice and fine until you see that they're talking about remake and og leon as if they're the same which they're not people come on I lose 10 years of lifespan every time if you want to do meta analysis at least do the basic research???? that remake timeline is a different one???? re4 remake leon does not grow to become re6 leon ffs?????? and so many wrong interpretations of his character is just very sad actually people will be like "this is how I think he'd behave in X situation" and it's the most deranged ooc misinterpretation of his character you have ever seen in your life and like I've said before I know his looks are very distracting but is it really so hard to look a bit more at what's under it??

anyways sorry for the long-no-ponctuation rant this is not aimed at anyone in particular and like my opinion is meaningless you do you it's just that after so many years I get a bit tired of the leon content consisting mostly of oversexualization and ooc stuff (specially after r4make) you feel me? that this popular version of him that people see is not what he is in canon at all... but yeah... back to the trenches we go...

#anyways it's summer here heatwave is melting my brain #just needed to get some stuff out of my chest #Loser Leon™ squad where you at come let's hold hands and leon and feed him soup together #but to the people making that good chef's kiss content I'm kissing you on the mouth #jay talks

3 notes · View notes

knifewieldingenby · 2 years

Text

Why do so many monogamous people in this fandom want jealousy to end in bloodbath? I mean this very sincerely - are yall okay?

I'm a much bigger fan of the seldom-explored trope of "they work through their jealousy like mature adults and come out the other side stronger because they're not acting like they own each other". But like. I guess that's just me.

At a certain point it just stops being cute. It stops being funny. It's a reflection of our society that people in fandom think "if anyone so much as looks at my partner with interest they'll have hell to pay" is funny and relatable.

I've seen far too many irl relationships like this turn into abuse to find it funny or endearing. It's not cute, it's controlling. The way people talk about how funny or cute violent partners would be (and it's almost always characters of color being the violent partner, btw) really does reflect the toxic shit our society has conditioned us to believe is acceptable. And being a polyamorous person in this fandom - one of the worst fandoms I've ever been in when it comes to this issue - is lonely as fuck.

It's especially weird considering one of the canon couples had a great response to Izzy banking on jealousy tearing them apart to blackmail Lucius - acceptance, understanding, and a very firm "we don't own each other". And yet the characters of color in other pairings have to be aggressively violent if someone flirts with their partner?

I don't find it amusing or a "sign of their love for each other", especially when it falls into racist stereotypes. I'm tired of seeing these headcanons. I'm tired of seeing monogamous people act like jealousy is an emotion that needs to be dealt with by violence and ownership. It really is so exhausting being a polyamorous person with healthy relationship dynamics in this fandom, just saying.

(This is not directed at any one person in particular - I've seen it from far too many people and have been trying to find a way to word this post for months)

#ofmd #ofmd fandom crit #idk how to tag this #original posts

29 notes · View notes

femboyhorror · 7 months

Text

i've grown tired of this body - fall apart without me body

【A/N: cross-posted from my ao3! if you enjoy this feel free to check out my other works and consider buying me a coffee maybe. :3 this one shot came out of the blue. as you can probably guess by now this is just one big vent one shot that started out just being me wanting to make a fic about trans!dipper dealing with his period while i was having to deal with mine and ended up spiraling into me projecting my own experiences with my parents being awful and transphobic onto sir dippingsauce here and imagining what'd it be like having a found family. tw ahead for some impled/references child abuse of the verbal kind, transphobia from dipper's a+ parents, some semi graphic descriptions of the fun times that come with menstruation and one use of the word queer. (it's not used in the context of bigotry, btw!) big shout out to anyone out there dealing with the red beast, to my fellow cisn't individuals who may deal with it. i hope life is kind to you, that you have some rad people you can turn to comfort or at least get to have some nice snacks during these trying times. 】

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The bus carrying him back to the forests of Oregon rattles and shakes as it makes track across the winding roads. By the second hour he's feeling a decent amount of claustrophobia, his legs wave back and forth with a need to get up and walk and a spring in the seat he was in had popped out and was just scratching at him enough that it made him want to scream.

And yet despite the minor discomforts, a sense of comfort washes over him when he sees the familiar towering pine trees slowly replace the long stretching plains in the window. It was a feeling that he'd sorely missed throughout the last ten months and was never more evident until he saw the green of those trees. By the time the old weathered sign passed by, proudly proclaiming 'Welcome to Gravity Falls', a full smile spreads across his face. One that he didn't need to look to know that his sister shared with him.

They were finally back in Gravity Falls.

They were finally home.

Ignoring the shouted reminder from the bus driver to wait until the bus had fully stopped, the mystery twin duo practically flew out of their seats and rushed off the bus with their suitcases in hand and - in Mabel's case - pet pig at their side. By the bus stop, sporting warm smiles, were their Grunkles Stan and Ford.

"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford!" The twins had greeted them in near unison. The two opened their arms just in time for their niblings to practically tackle them in a big hug tight enough to make a few parts of Stan's back in particular pop courtesy of Mabel.

"Whoa whoa there kids, you tryin' to kill your old man?!" Protested the old con-man, though his own smile betrayed his joy to see the two. Eventually the group hug came to an end and Stan helped the twins put their luggage into the Stanleymobile.

"Welcome back, my boy." These words, spoken to Dipper in a gentle, caring tone, made a wave of emotion swell in his heart and he barely kept himself from crying right then and there as he replied,

"I'm glad to be back."

'My boy' he thinks with pride.

Because that's who he was here. In Gravity Falls he wasn't expected to be the quiet and polite little girl. Instead he was a beloved great nephew. He was a protecting twin brother. He was Dipper Pines and the sense of joy he feels when he thinks this brings some tears of relief to his eyes.

If Ford notices his sudden burst of emotion then he chooses not to comment on it to Dipper's relief, and Stan soon pipes up as they all pile into his old car.

"Alright, I don't know about you guys but I'm hungry enough to eat one of those multi-headed cows. Why don't we go back to the shack so I can make us some…"

"Stancakes?" Mabel guesses with a bright smile.

"That's right! And Mabel's helping me out this time since Ford's still banned from the kitchen."

"For cosmo's sake, Stanley, the last time I burnt anything was months ago!"

"Yeah, and I still have no idea how you managed to set the entire kitchen on fire just by pouring cereal!"

"Oooh, good thing I brought my special rainbow glitter!"

"Pumpkin, that glitter is edible, right?"

Dipper relaxed during the car ride home, comfortably letting himself get lost in the familiar family banter and, at least for the moment, letting himself drift off and forget about all the pain from Piedmont.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

Breakfast back at the Shack was, as expected with the Pines, a lively affair. Mabel, naturally, manages to make her own Stancakes into what Dipper could only describe as a rainbow colored death wish of syrup and sprinkles with perhaps some renments of pancakes in there but he couldn't tell for sure. The four of them conversed about stories from their time apart, from their grunkles tales of their sea-faring adventures to Mabel providing stories from school such as amusing misadventures and some extracurricular activities they had gotten into.

Dipper tried to chime in as well, though he was somewhat distracted by a dull ache that had come up occassionally over the past few days. Radiating from his lower stomach area, it made it hard for Dipper to focus and he could barely manage to eat more than a single pancake despite having not eating anything that morning.

At one point he catches Ford giving him a look of concern but he simply waves him off, mouthing a silent 'I'm fine' to him.

Not long after breakfast was finished the twins took to their old room in the Mystery Shack's attic to unpack as their great uncle's assured them they could handle the dishes on their own.

"Hey, Dipper…?" Mabel's words, spoken in a tone unusually soft for the bubbly girl, break through the silence in the attic. "Don't you think we should tell Stan and Ford what ha-?"

"No." He quickly cuts in, harsher than he meant to and he immediately feels guilty but he doesn't doesn't doesn't want to think about Piedmont yet. "I just… I'm not ready… I just want to be Dipper a little longer…" The last part was barely above a whisper but still cuts through the silent attic like a shotgun blast.

"You are Dipper. To me, and to Ford and Stan. Nothing will ever make then treat you otherwise." The words 'unlike mom and dad' hang in the air, unsaid but understood by both twins. He wants to believe her, wants to trust that he'll always be seen as their great nephew but the echoing words of their parents make him falter.

"I will tell them, just…" He takes a deep, shaky breath. "…just not yet."

A beat passes and he almost expects Mabel to tell him that he should know by now to trust family, to tell him that honesty was the best policy and that he won't have to feel this weight on his chest if he just opened up to them.

"That's alright, just tell them when you're ready." She said instead.

The guilt remains.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The dawn of what Mabel has dubbed their first official day of summer begins with the dull ache from before now returning as the sharp pain of many needles as well as an unwelcome crimson visitor.

And while Dipper had expected to have to deal with good old shark week after the pseudo-cramps he'd been feeling for the last few days it still never made the day it finally started any less difficult. As if he hadn't had a hard enough time with dysphoria before returning to Gravity Falls the world seemed to have it out for Dipper with a wholly unwanted visitor would add insult to injury.

But, after some extra time cleaning himself in the bathroom, he resolves to push away the pain and stress and makes his way down the creaky stairs of the Shack in a slow and shaky manner…

..and is immediately greeted by the distinct smell of smoke. Confused and maybe a little bit panicked, he follows the scent to the kitchen where he discovers the source; a pan of half charred yet somehow also half raw eggs. Holding the pan was Mabel, unsuccessfully trying to salvage the mess with Stan standing by. By Dipper's guess he was trying to teach Mabel to cook with… mixed results. Smiling at the duo's antics, he takes a seat at the table where he spots his great uncle Ford, nursing a cup of coffee and seemingly entirely unbothered by the disaster that is Stan's cooking lesson.

"Good morning, my boy." He greets Dipper with a kind smile, and the gender euphoria of being called 'my boy' is almost enough to make him forget about his current pain and discomfort. Keyword: almost. Seeming to notice this, Ford furrows his brows in a concerned manner. "Are you feeling quite alright, Dipper? You look pale?"

"Oh, uh, I'm fine, Grunkle Ford, just tired is all…" He lied, forcing himself to pick up and bite into an apple despite how little he wanted to eat just to further prove he was alright. As he robotically chews into the apple Ford continues talking.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to accompany me on a little walk to check on the forests around here, but if you're not feeling well…"

"Nononononono! We can go for a walk!" He quickly cuts in to Ford's owlish surprise. As much as he - in his current state of mild to extreme pain - wanted to spend the day in bed reading, the idea of being alone in the attic felt awful. Even if the cramps would kill him, he really wants to spend more time with his great uncle.

"Alright then, we can go after breakfast if that's alright with you?" Dipper forces his pain away to smile back to Ford.

"Y-yeah! Sounds great, I'll go grab my shoes."

And so Ford watched his great nephew run out of the kitchen, and he frowns at the barely eaten apple as a sense of growing worry settles in his gut.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The Gravity Falls forests were always a beauty to be able to behold. From the fantastical sorts of creatures and flora that called the woodland their home to even the more mundane sorts of plants and animals that shared the forest with the strange. This morning was no different as the sunlight filtered through the treetops above lit the forest in a soft light that made the whole place feel nothing short of enchanting.

Ford lead the way through the forest, chattering casually about the different points of interest and pointing out some of the newer pieces of intrigue that he thinks his great nephew will enjoy. And as hard as Dipper tries to focus on following and nodding along he can barely concentrate on his great uncle's words through the haze of pain he was drowning in.

After a few minutes of this that feel more like hours, Ford comes to a stop and looks back to Dipper, a frown speaking to deep worry on his face.

"Dipper, are you absolutely sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if you're ever hurt or sick, right?" Dipper had to near bite on the inside of his mouth to keep himself together. The genuine care his great uncle was showing him combined with the guilt he felt at ruining their walk on top of the pain that was still radiating through him made it hard to hold back the tears.

He wants to tell Ford that he was fine, maybe blame it on sleepiness again and keep walking, but a particularly sharp stabbing feeling hits and all he can do is lean pathetically against a nearby tree, trying to breathe through the sudden pain.

"Dipper! You need to tell me what's…" His great uncle's shout of alarm slowly trails off and it wasn't too long until the realization of why fills Dipper with pure shame. Running down his legs were bright red trails of his period blood.

He wants to disappear. He wants nothing more than a spontaneous bottomless pit to form underneath him and take him away right then and there. Unfortunately for him no such pits appear and he can only settle for locking his gaze onto the forest floor. Despite having outgrown the hero worship he held for his great uncle that fateful summer, Ford was still someone he held high respect and admiration for. And now that he's seen Dipper in such an embarrassing position - bleeding on himself in the middle of the woods - he doesn't know if he can ever face him again. He could only imagine the look of disappointment, disgust even.

His thoughts of self-loathing are cut off by a hand laid on his shoulder.

"Dipper, please look at me. I'm not mad at you, I just need you to tell me what's wrong." His great uncle's voice oddly seems to hold none of the disappointment or disgust he had expected. He chances a look up and Ford's expression was not one of frustration but one of a deep concern but also a look of knowing.

"It's… a lot to explain… can we go back to the Shack first?" He curses the way his voice wobbles as he voices this but Ford doesn't seem to mind, only nodding before helping him walk the short way back. No other words are exchanged on the way back and Dipper is quick to duck into the bathroom to clean himself up. A quick shower later and he leaves the bathroom to find a bottle of pain medication left on a nearby table along with a glass of water. A brief smile crosses Dipper's face as he can easily guess who left the items.

Soon enough the four Pines were all brought together in the kitchen as Dipper prepared for another difficult conversation, inwardly praying to a god he didn't believe in for things to go better the second time around.

"…My name wasn't always Dipper…" He slowly began, trying to relax his tense shoulders. "Growing up, I always felt like there was something wrong about me. I hated being called by my birthname, hated being called a girl. My parents would tell me that all girls feel that way, but it was more than that. Eventually I start to realize that I maybe wasn't a girl at all…" He chances a look back up at Stan and Ford to see their reactions. A part of him expected to see judgement but instead the two of them are attentive, waiting for Dipper to continue. Feeling a boost of confidence from this, he speaks again.

"I ended up discovering the term transgender, and right then I felt like things suddenly started to make sense. The way I've been feeling, the way I saw myself… and when my parents told me and Mabel that we were going to be going to visit a new town full of new people for the summer, I realized that was the perfect chance for me to try out being a boy for the first time. And that summer ended up being the first time in my life I felt like I was able to be myself." Just thinking about that first magical summer brought a smile to Dipper's face. He remembers the way his hands shook when he first introduces himself as Dipper. As Mabel's twin brother. Remembers the trials and tribulations he went through the summer, and yet despite it all he truly felt like he'd grown into a proud young man by the end of it all.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner…" He finally says as he finishes his explanation. For a moment, the two older men seem to take this in before Stan speaks up.

"I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us, kid, although I kinda knew you were trans already."

"Wait, you knew?!" Dipper shouts before he can stop himself. He suddenly starts to panic, wondering if he hadn't really passed as well as he thought he did. Stan quickly puts his hands up and puts his fears to rest as he adds in,

"I mean I was there when you two goobers were born! I'm not a spring chicken, Dipper. I've had my fair share of experiences with the gays and the queers. When you two got off the bus and you were introducing yourself as Mabel's twin brother Dipper, I thought to myself 'As long as the kid's happy, good on him!'"

"The concept of gender is, frankly, one that is much closer to a spectrum than most people realize. There are plenty of dimensions out there where gender is explored much more than here, for example I've been to one dimension where gender was traded with and bartered like a sort of currency!"

"What my nerd brother is trying to say," Stan finally cuts in, knowing Ford was likely to go on a full hour long tangent otherwise. "is that he's happy you felt safe enough to tell the both of us."

"Yes, of course, my boy!" A bright smile is spread across Dipper's face, the acceptance given from both his great uncles filling him with relief.

"See, Dipper? I just knew that our grunkles wouldn't have treated you like mom and dad did." His sister chimes in with her own knowing smile. Ford, however, quickly catches onto what she said.

"What do you mean 'like mom and dad', Mabel? Did your parents not take it well?" His question, although asked with no ill intentions, has the immediate effect of making both of the twin's moods fall. While Dipper shrinks in on himself, Mabel adopts a look of frustration and lets out a huff.

"Mom and dad are poopheads!" Ford and Stan both frown. That certainly didn't sound good. After a moment, Dipper speaks up.

"I… I hadn't told them about the whole 'being transgender' think before going to Gravity Falls. I was still just trying to figure it all out back then. Of course, they catch onto the new name I was using here. Not too long after me and Mabel came back they start questioning me about what was going on. Why I was hiding things from them…" He remembers that day all too well. Of being cornered with questions and not being able to rely on Mabel because she had been out with friends at the time. "I tried to explain to them how much happier I had been bit they wouldn't listen. They kept saying how their 'poor sweet daughter must have been brainwashed' and that 'it's just a phase you'll grow out of'…" Dipper then trailed off, his voice shaking more as he becomes more choked up. Mabel quickly scoots her chair closer, letting her brother lean on her for comfort.

"We hoped that they would end up coming around but they wouldn't even try to understand him. They kept using the wrong name and pronouns for him no matter how much we tried to correct them or ask them not to!" She angrily adds in. "One day they even told him that he should be grateful that he hadn't been thrown out!"

Knowing how unaccepted and uncared for their beloved nephew had been in the last ten months was already deeply troubling for Stan and Ford, but hearing these especially cruel words hit the two far too close to home. The hopes they had that Dipper and Mabel would at least have the caring and safe home that they never got were dashed, and they share a look of regret before turning to look at their niblings.

"Dipper, I… I'm so sorry your parents have been treating you like this. I had no idea."

"You're not going to send us back, are you?" Dipper asks quietly. At their great uncle's looks of confusion, Mabel explains.

"We… kind of didn't tell them we were visiting…" She admits as she diverts her eyes sheepishly.

"They tried to forbid us from coming back this summer, saying how this town 'corrupted me'," Her brother explains with air quotations and an eye roll. "So we both combined our allowances and bought some bus tickets without telling them." There it was.

This was certainly a difficult situation. It was only a matter of time before the twins' parents figured out where they went off too, and once they figured out that they were staying with Stan and Ford they would naturally demand they bring them straight back to California. And trying to keep them away could result in some legal trouble being sent their way.

And yet both Stanley and Stanford, unfortunately, had some personal experiences with being forced to hide who you were. Memories of hiding love letters, of repressing their true selves for fear of their old fashioned father finding out, and they refused to make their poor nephew suffer through the same type of hell. And thankfully, they had a whole town of people who would be willing to help them.

"Well there's no way I'm going to pay to be sending you dorks back, so it looks like you're stuck here." Stan declared gruffly, although it was obvious enough that he wanted his niblings to be at Gravity Falls just as much as the two of them wanted to be there.

"Dipper, in the time I've been back in this dimension I've seen you as nothing less than a brave and strong young man. And if your parents are too blinded by their own narrow-minded beliefs to see that, too, than at least know that you'll always be our amazing grandnephew." By now, Dipper was crying in earnest. Not the tears of frustration or sorrow that he had experienced all too often in Piedmont but tears of pure happiness. Stan and Ford both stand up and go to give their great nephew a hug.

"By the way, Dipper," Ford says after the hug ends. "I forgot to ask but did those pain meds I give you help.

"Oh, honestly I hadn't really thought about my cramps for a while, but now that I think about it they're much better. Thanks." Ford simply smiles.

"Don't mention it, my boy. It's the least I can do."

"If your cramps come back I probably got a heating pad somewhere in this place. Used it whenever my back hurt worse than usual." Stan chimes in.

"I heard there's going to be a cheesy movie marathon starting in a bit! Maybe we can grab some snacks, relax around Stan's chair and watch?" Dipper smiles at his sister's suggestion, feeling his appetite come back now that the worst of his pain was taken care of.

"Sounds good to me."

And so that's how the Pines family found themselves all settled around the living room, Dipper lounging comfortably on Stan's chair and Mabel settled on the floor while Stan and Ford sat leaned against the chair. While Ford and Dipper would take turns in pointing out the inaccuracies of the monster movies, ("Please, a tiny splinter like that would never take out that powerful of a vampire.") Stanley would more often make jokes about the cheesy effects ("Pshh, I could put together taxidermy parts that look more realistic than those werewolves!") and Mabel was happy to just happy to comment on dreamy actors and things she thought were cute. ("Aw, it's too bad that bat had to get shot, it was so adorable!") At one point Stan and Ford playfully argue over who would be able to defeat the most zombies which then devolves into the two throwing popcorn at each other.

And all the while a single thought stays in Dipper's head, bringing a sense of comfort with it: "I'm finally home."

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

#gravity falls #hurt dipper pines #dipper pines angst #pines family #dipper and ford bonding #ventfic #tw menstruation #tw implied child abuse #tw implied transphobia #mutt's writing

2 notes · View notes

arctichotch · 2 years

Note

May be closer to a rad-fem than a terf, but you do say things to make people think that. I'm genuinely sorry, I know that's hard to hear, but when your feminism doesn't include men or even acknowledge that men can be victims and you can't listen to anyone who disagrees with you without becoming super vitriolic, it sends terfy/radfem vibes. I understand you feel strongly, and you have big feelings about this, but I'm saying this because I care. It might be time to just take a break and breathe

this is so condescending lmao. how is believing a woman was abused, based purely on evidence, radfem/terf-y? lmao

i don’t become “super vitriolic.” i might get a bit defensive because people are trashing AH for things that could be part of any victims story and in turn are trashing those people too. and people do be coming at me with the most ridiculous arguments for why amber is lying and it drives me up the fucking wall because they should look into dv, research, evidence etc before saying shit that is straight up lies and misinformation. because misinformation is dangerous. and if someone’s coming at me with misinfo, i’m not going to over look it for fear of seeming “vitriolic” or like a terf.

and i have never once said a man can’t be a victim. not once. because that’s bullshit. when i speak about victims or survivors or anyone at all who has suffered at the hands of an abuser, i am including everyone. men, women, non binary folks. every living breathing human being. to me, there is no threshold of standards to meet to be a victim (unlike what so many depp supporters think btw) because it happens to anyone and everyone.

yeah sometimes i reblog stuff discussing female abuse survivors in particular. or whatever else. because women are so often not believed about being abused while simultaneously being so frequently abused. or because i see it on my dash and think that it’s a good point.

supporting female survivors doesn’t mean i don’t support male survivors. those two things are not mutually exclusive. it just means i support survivors, regardless of gender. which i do.

just because i don’t believe johnny depp was abused (once again solely based on evidence) does not mean that i don’t think any men can be abused. if johnny had the evidence amber had, i’d believe him. it’s not about the person to me, it’s about the evidence, the facts. gender in abuse plays no role to me (besides maybe considering statistics in particular situations.)

i 100% think that society is not a place made open for men to come forward about abuse they’ve suffered. and that fucking sucks. and needs to change. as does anything in relation to dv because the world is a mess in how any abuse survivors are treated.

but, with regard to this case, i believe the woman in the situation because she has the evidence. so anything i’m talking about is with this case in mind.

it’s so fucking tiring and genuinely upsetting to be accused of not believing men about being abused just because i don’t believe one man about being abused. i believe and support many other male survivors (and have spoken to this in the past) but all that is discounted because i don’t support depp? that’s not fair.

supporting abuse survivors and advocating for them on a social/psychological level is something i am so incredibly passionate about. and what i intend to pursue in the future.

abuse is not based on gender. believing someone shouldn’t be based on their gender. i don’t believe amber heard because she’s a woman and i don’t not believe johnny depp because he’s a man. it’s not even something i overly considered before i began to be accused of not believing men etc. my stance on this case is purely based on evidence and what i know and have researched on ipv over the years.

you’re not saying this “because you care.” yes i feel strong about this, and have “big feelings.” i’m not 6 years old. i can speak about things i’m passionate about online without some anonymous person calling me a terf and telling me to shut up pretty much.

i have had plenty of conversations the past few days, listening to someone else’s pov but that doesn’t change what i believe. their evidence didn’t convince me all of a sudden that i was in the wrong because it’s the same facts i’ve seen presented over and over again.

like what have i actually said to seem like a terf? besides that i don’t believe johnny depp.

not believing one man was abused (once again, based solely upon the evidence) ≠ being a terf/radfem who never believes male survivors

and no i’m not going to take a breather. because i’ve had so many survivors speaking under my posts/my inbox/my dms who have been speaking about their experiences or thanking me for making some little post on here because it makes them feel less alone. and why the hell would i ever walk away from that because somebody wrongly thinks i give off terf vibes.

#like please #what did i even say lmao #this was so condescending tbh talking to me like i’m 6 #sorry for the #long post #i stand with amber heard #and will continue to stand with her because she is a victim #abuse tw #cw johnny depp #ask #anon

30 notes · View notes

rosalesbeausderholle · 2 years

Note

how do you cope with suicidality over not being straight? both conservative and new age 'queer' homophobia have absolutely destroyed me and i'm tired of being here in the planet. I don't think i should have been born and i hate beyond words how there's no cure.

I'm sorry anon, it's completely understandable, but all I can say is that a) there's people out there in the world from all walks of life who will accept you just as you are and that helps and that b) I'm available to talk through DMs if you want.

Other than that, my way to cope with suicidal feelings on my day to day life, when I had them, was to grab anything that could fully distract me from them at the moment until I calmed down, there's no shame in grabbing into the one thing that keeps you afloat for dear life. For me this was videogames btw, but for the overall suicidal feelings, I don't think there's a proven method, though I did go to a therapist and talked to her about my experiences with queer homophobia, and it was very important to me for her to reaffirm that I wasn't crazy, that my feelings were real but that also it didn't do any good to me to think that every single person in the world thought what I thought they did about me being a monster, that there were people who would accept me anyway. And tbh, this depends on the person, but I've even talked to people in queer groups or my own trans friends about this, and they've agreed with me. It takes someone who is really truly incredibly fringe and disassociated from the world that the statement 'you can't say no to have this type of sex' is something they support. The problem is that not enough people speak up abt it, either because they don't see it or because it doesn't affect them directly, so they don't think it's a problem. There's also many people who will say this shit outwardly for acceptance 'trans women are women so ofc!' but then when pressed they don't actually think anyone is obligated to have unwanted sex and think it's normal if someone is turned off by specific genitalia, what they don't like is discussing the ontological implications of it, which to me is fine, I don't always have to do it, because I give the empathy that I receive, even for things that I don't fully understand.

Also, I think that what also helped me was getting out of a very black and white worldview re: RF/GCs vs trans. There's a lot of unseen radicalization and dehumanizing in those circles which goes both ways (and yes, I very much also mean from radfems and GCs towards trans people) and talking to real people regardless of ideological camps does help both of you fully understand each other's perspectives (though yes, there's some terminally online idiots who are very homophobic and annoying about this particular topic. I simply interact with them as little as possible). And in general, what helped me most I think was to just start to live my life trying to get away from participating in most of these inflammatory debates, which are at the end, just very extreme things that won't affect most people in everyday life. There's homophobes out there, both progressive and conservative, but I stray clear from them and surround myself with people who I can talk about my issues with, even if at first it can be hard (and I'm aware that this is a privileged position and that I'm not surrounded by living with homophobes in my house and I'm lucky to live in places which protect LGBT rights. Of course, not everyone has that luck). And little by little, I realize that my life can be livable, that many people aren't as evil as I thought, that we can understand each other's problems and perspectives and that I can exist in this world and be happy.

For conservative homophobia, I have less experience of it affecting my day to day life other than me debating the hell out of bigots in my hs class but my family has always been pretty cool about this, and even the ones who are more conservative, they're not the kind to say shit to my face. I don't have the specific tools that other people have re: religious homophobia in your own home. So if other people have advice for anon in that regard, I'd be happy to reblog with additions!

I don't know if any of this is useful to you, these are mostly just my experiences and perspectives and I'm not going to deny that it gets hard sometimes still, but less each time. Regardless, if you want to talk in private my DMs are open.

3 notes · View notes

blueempty · 3 months

Text

Due to several sleeping errors, I forgor

My day was alright outside of my stomach waking me up after 3 hours of comfy sleep, and then me falling asleep for a little too long on the couch at work, which is why I don't think i'm gonna have a new kanji for today. I'll probably just practice some other vocabulary and keep hammering in the first half of my katakana

Like I'm always saying, I dont want to vent here but like, its part of my day ya know. And I'm not upset as I write this its just thoughts in my brain. Btw did you know that overexplaining yourself is an autistic trait? Anyway, I've been thinking about my brain and its problems because my partner has a new work friend who is also autistic, but her and I followed different paths. She seems to be on the Naruto Uzumaki grind of saying exactly what she means and is thinking at all times. The barrier between her and other people made her more forward and blunt, which is probably good. I however went the conflict avoidance route, where I got tired of trying to be understood so I've just spoken less and less over the years. I used to be very social but lately I'm going whole days saying almost nothing to anyone

Its largely because of the specific people I'm around every day, cuz my mom doesnt care about whatever the fuck I'm doing in Onimusha or Splatoon. I've learned what stuff people outside my fixations would be equipped to find interesting. My mom listens, but I dont want to waste her time or bug her while shes working with stuff that isn't relevant to her. And my brother is the most equipped to have conversations with but he's also on a different autism wavelength that seems to be becoming incompatible with mine. Like earlier today I said I was getting really tired of him and our friend being so fuckin negative about everything all the time and then like 2 minutes later he said I was a bitch for paying attention to what skills I have on in Monster Hunter. Something just ain't lining up in our conversations

BUT, thats all to say, my response to that comment wasnt to push the point further, instead I just stopped talking. Because I've learned that he in particular seems to have lost the ability to argue or discuss in good faith when it comes to specific topics. And because of that I sit there and filter everything I think about saying. I have a thought about something in the Splatoon DLC and before i say something I think "my brother doesnt like Splatoon anymore so at best he'll ignore me and at worst I'll get into an argument about whether or not skills are stupid"

So you the reader at this moment may be thinking "this sounds like a problem with you and the 3 people you talk to every day" and you'd be right. But this learned silence has got my ass unsure how to speak in general, so idk how to make new friends or how to interact with old ones. Its quite the pickle oh yes

Again this is literal hashtag thought posting, I'm not trying to complain but this is just stuff thats been on my mind since like January. And now this new friend that my partner has made me think damn I couldve just pivoted into an assertive style autist but I assumed a defensive posture. The human mind truly is fucked and full of terrors

But all that shit aside Dungeon Meshi is amazing, the whole crew is great. I am concerned that I'm getting incorrect localizations on their names cuz i'm reading it on manga dex. So I've just been calling the hobbit Chalk. I'm on chapter 15 now I think. Kensuke is my MVP right now I love that little guy

And finally the moment youve been waiting for yes its true I only have 4 weapons left to go in Side Order. I was spoiled on the name of Eights pallette weapon and it didnt tell me anything but it made me want to get it as soon as possible to see what the fuck it is

My partner also brought me a big sammich at work and it was good. I lob her

Peace and Long Life

#thoughtposting #ramblings

1 note · View note

bonny-kookoo · 3 years

Note

Hi!! How's your day going? 💜

Can i request Home Jungkook ? Like a jealous shot please? 🥺

Btw the v and Jimin shot was also 😚👌🏻

I'm so happy you're back I couldn't find fics like yours.

[PSA: If anyone tries to ruin home!Couple by making them break up I'll throw hands haha] Languages are marked as always: english - korean.

Seeing you around the members was nothing too unusual anymore.

However, today, it just feels.. off to see you smile around them so much. He doesn't know why, it usually never bothers him all that much, but today in particular, it feels just wrong to him.

So he walks up to where you sit on the couch, squeezing himself between you and Taehyung, before pulling you gently to sit on his lap, arms around you as he closes his eyes and lays his head against your shoulder. "Someone's cuddly." Jimin teases, as you give him a gently scolding glance. Your hand lays on Jungkooks, thumb drawing circles on the back of it as he squeezes you a bit.

Its not often that he's visibly jealous like this. You barely witness it- and maybe it had made you forget that sometimes, he does still get insecure about maybe loosing you to someone else. As much as you hate to see him upset, seeing him jealous like this was like a small reassuring pat on the back that he didn't take you for granted.

But you don't let him suffer for long, can't bring yourself to, as you suddenly chime up. "I'm actually getting really tired right now. Can you drive me home Kook? You can come back after you've dropped me off-" You say, but he instantly shakes his head, gladly taking the chance of escape with you.

"No no." He says, letting you stand up before he eagerly takes his jacket. "Lets go." He almost hurries, uncaring of the teasing laughter from the guys behind him.

Because at the end of it all, its him taking you home.

#Home!Jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook drabble #bts imagine #bts drabble #bts x reader

425 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

leadendeath

DOOM MADE ME A FURRY

velidewrites

speedypersontiger-blog

无标题

valle-de-sombra-de-muerte

Valle De Sombra De Muerte

exploracionessensuales

Beauty is Art❤