#this is my first graphic edit in SO many years and im so happy with it but also feel like it is lacking somewhere lol idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years

Text

tis the damn season

atsumu miya x fem reader

the first fic in a series i like to call “Me Writing Whatever The Hell I Want” (a working title) hope u like it or dont idk im not ur boss!!!!!!!!!!

synopsis: Running away was easy when you were chasing hazy dreams of a big city that was destined to be yours, when your rear-view mirror showed nothing but your hole in the wall hometown. But now it’s all waiting tables and failing auditions. You were still running, but somehow, these winding roads always lead you back to Miya Atsumu - a man you’ve loved and left, until you return home for the holidays.

tags: friends to lovers, exes to lovers, angst without a happy ending, established pre-relationship, friends with benefits, reader lives in Undisclosed Big City lmao who has celebrity dreams, atsumu is ur good ole southern boy (sort of), canon divergent, not edited, light nsfw, beginnings of sex but isn’t very detailed

word count: 4220

song inspo (tis the damn season by taylor swift)

i won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay…

. . .

The soundtrack of this early morning replayed in your head as you made a hazy drive to the neighborhood’s hardware store, cutting left onto the correct street and forcing the car’s back tire over the curb you couldn’t miss.

The replay of events looping in your mind? A whirring, then a splashing, then your father’s booming voice shouting curse words at anyone who could hear them. Your name was laced in there somewhere with demands for you to get to the kitchen, and you couldn’t tumble down the stairs fast enough to see what in the hell was going on.

It was your first day home for the holidays, and already it was a catastrophe.

Somehow your dad had busted a pipe underneath the kitchen sink and a strong stream of water was spraying halfway across the room because of it - your feet landed in a shallow pool when you finally reached the first floor. You didn’t have time to think of any questions before the man at fault, who was on his knees with his head hidden under the sink relentlessly trying to turn the water off, sent you out the door with more shouts, telling you to go to Miya’s Hardware and buy… something.

“A connector?” You were talking to yourself, thinking out loud as you finally parked, but it didn’t help you remember. All you could do was walk inside the store and hope someone knew what you needed.

It’d been years since you had been in this shop, but it looked just the same as when you were following your dad through its isles. You didn’t even bother browsing now, though - you went straight to the back of the store to the counter, expecting to see a familiar, perhaps older, face eager to help you.

That isn’t what you found.

“Well, hey stranger.”

That voice rang in your ears like you’d just heard it through a megaphone pointed directly at you. Something about it was so warm, but it left you with a shiver down your spine and goosebump ridden skin. You could feel the hair on the back of your neck standing up, and you hadn’t even turned in the direction the words came from.

But you didn’t have to look in order to know just who it was. “Atsumu.”

“What in the hell are you doing back in town?” His voice rang with excited confusion; it carried the same inflection as anyone who’s happy to see you. Like nearly forgotten family members at a reunion before it all goes to hell, or the way the tone of your father’s voice changes when you tell him you’re doing well and mean it. People don’t speak that way often.

He pulled you in for a hug and you gladly reciprocated, already forgetting that you were supposed to be in a hurry.

“Home for the holidays. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright,” he replied. “I’ve missed you.”

His voice felt more like home than your four bedroom walls did, the charming drawl and depth in his words immediately reeling you in. It was familiar. You had spent a long time trying to forget about that familiarity; too long learning how to straighten out your words and lose any hint of the small town you came from. But Atsumu - he sounded like the epitome of this place.

He didn’t give you time to reply, for one reason or another; instead he decided to push you back by your shoulders and get a good look at you. Up and down and up again, likely noticing every change you had made to your appearance in your time away.

“Are you still wearing your pajamas, or is this a new… trend?”

You looked down at yourself, “Shit,” and closed your jacket tight over the old graphic t-shirt you wore, but nothing could cover your pink polka-dotted pants. And you’d have been hit in the face with embarrassment if the image of your dad and the broken sink and a flooded kitchen didn’t smack you first. “Shit, no, um… I need something to fix a broken sink. Are you… do you work here now?”

“I do - and you’re gonna need to be more specific.”

“I don’t know, Atsumu,” you laughed, slowly realizing the bizarreness of what you were about to tell him. “I woke up to my dad shouting and water shooting out from under the sink, literally flooding the kitchen. He told me to get a part for the pipe… a connector, or a couple, or something - I don’t know.”

“...A coupler?”

“Yes!”

“...He didn’t happen to tell you what size to get, did he?”

The look on your face must have been a good enough answer for him, because he took off into a random aisle and left you wondering just how many sizes of couplers there could be.

“This one will probably do the job,” he said as his path rounded the counter. “If it doesn’t, then, I can ignore the return policy for you. Just this once, though.”

“Thanks, ‘Tsumu.” You made your payment and he slid your product over the counter as his elbows landed on it, leaning down to make himself comfortable. Like he thought he’d be there awhile.

“How long are you gonna be in town?”

“Two weeks. Why do you ask?” You knew why - you just wanted to hear him say it.

“We should catch up.”

He was grinning and shrugging and fidgeting with his fingers, just like he always did, and you would never turn down any offer he made you.

“We should. I’ve got to get home, but are you free tonight?”

“We close at six,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” you said, meaning every word. You wondered if he knew that.

“So will I,” he replied, and then you made your way out before you convinced yourself to stay.

It’d been three years since you last spoke to Atsumu. In that time, you had done a lot that felt like nothing, living in a different city that felt worlds bigger than this town - that city was a place you had once convinced yourself was all yours. You had pulled off running away effortlessly.

But it didn’t matter how much time goes by between your meetings with Atsumu. There was something there that you could never shake, the hold you had on each other was anchor tight. Ten years could pass and you would speak to each other like it had only been one day. You’d have world ending fights and one of you would always come crawling back, letting the other win as long as it meant things would go back to normal.

You couldn’t describe it. You never tried, you didn’t need to. The unspoken acts between the two of you didn’t need to be explained. It was something akin to a best friend with all the benefits included and most of the strings attached - confusing and nerve wracking but still so comforting.

Atsumu was the closest thing to home you had in this town, and somehow every road always leads back to him. With a few detours on your part, of course, because you just couldn’t stay away too long. Even moving across the country didn’t change that - not like you thought it would.

You just barely missed the turn into your driveway, being so distracted by your thoughts. So much was rushing back, so much that shouldn’t be - it isn’t a big deal, it’s just Atsumu, but it felt grand, like this was some massive reunion.

But it wasn’t. You were only here to celebrate Christmas with your family. You weren’t even planning on seeing Atsumu, let alone meeting up with him or rekindling any kind of flame that was once there.

And it was such a rush that you couldn’t even question why he was working at his father’s store - or why he was even in this town at all. What happened to the dreams he was chasing?

For what felt like the first time in your life, you had questions for him. But you’d have to wait all day to ask them.

. . .

You were thankful to come home to a dry floor and a calmer father - he finally figured out how to turn the water off and decided to fix the pipe later. You knew he’d inevitably be paying someone more qualified to repair it, but your mind had no space for that problem.

You were still trying to figure out how you’d meander the night with Atsumu by the time he was picking you up, and when the two of you arrived at his home you still hadn’t found your answer.

Easing into this would be best, and once alcohol was introduced to the equation it would turn into a slippery slope.

Nothing was hard with Atsumu. You knew that - that’s why you couldn’t figure out why you were having such a hard time talking to him.

A lot had changed. Not between the two of you, not exactly. You were right back where you were three years ago: on his couch, sitting too close to him, laughing at something he had said that was only funny because he said it.

But your lives had changed. Your worlds had changed. His mind had very obviously changed, and because of it all, you couldn’t keep pretending that the two of you were teenagers again.

You had to bite the bullet and ask the question that was on your mind, completely knowing that he could throw a hard hitting question back at you.

It came out more effortlessly and lighthearted than you expected. “So… what happened to playing volleyball?”

Atsumu scoffed. “You still remember that pipe dream? Nothing happened, it was just childish.”

You didn’t like his answer, so you pressed him. You worked up the courage to start this conversation, so you were going to get to the bottom of things. “You said you wanted to catch up - I know you, Atsumu. You get what you want and you wanted to play volleyball. You were going to be a pro, you were good.”

“I know you know me,” he said, and the smirk on his lips didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I wanted to get drunk and chat, not start up a fucking therapy session.”

You sat patient and waiting, eyes on him, refusing to go without the answer to your question. You were teasing, really, eyeing him up and grinning as you watched him struggle. The problem was: you didn’t expect the answer you’d get.

“I - I had the chance.” There was a scratch in his throat that wasn’t caused by the whiskey he’d just swallowed. “I was being scouted and playing my ass off and there were talks of being on an Olympic team one day, but… shit happens, and that’s it.”

“What shit, Atsumu? You didn’t just give up, did you? Were you scared or something?”

You didn’t realize how close you were to him until his hand came down to rest on your knee, and both of you focused on that touch as his next thoughts became words. “Dad got sick. And ‘Samu had just opened the restaurant, and… there were bills to pay and the store to run. Even though I wasn’t his preference, Dad had no choice and left the legacy of Miya’s Hardware to me, so - that’s where I am.”

“Oh. I… I had no idea - I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine. You were already long gone by then - don’t say sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, and you hugged him without thinking, but he hugged you back all the same. “I’m sorry, ‘Tsumu.”

“It’s okay,” he told you, but you didn’t feel okay. You were sure he didn’t, either. “It’s not your fault.”

You pulled away from him just enough to look at his face, and you hadn’t noticed the distance in his eyes until just then. As you looked at him, you realized it was only familiar to now. It wasn’t there years ago, when you got to look into those eyes every day.

“I should’ve been there for you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, but his words were dangling on an edge. He didn’t quite mean them. “You were off in your own dream. I got through it.”

You only nodded. You weren’t sure what else to say after that.

As Atsumu sat back against the couch, he brought you with him, tucking you under his arm against his chest. His lips on your forehead made you close your eyes and for a second, it was like you were both nineteen again. You could’ve been, if time would only slow down or freeze or go back - what wouldn’t you give for that?

“I’m done talking about me,” he mumbled. “I wanna hear about your life now.”

You laughed, but quiet, “My life’s been fine.”

“Only fine?”

“You don’t see me on the big screen, do you?”

He laughed this time. “Not yet. One day, though. Have you gotten used to the city yet?”

“Oh… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, but… it does feel like home now. It’s so different from living here.”

“I bet.”

“I try not to romanticize it, but - I don’t know. It feels good, even if it’s not what I thought it’d be. The lights are pretty bright. Blinding compared to here.”

His response was a nod, and that was it. If he had any questions or comments, he held them back.

A break in the silence came soon, though. “You know,” he said, quiet, with a small laugh that was humorless, “I’m not as good at getting what I want as you think I am.”

“That’s not true,” you replied, and you were setting up an argument you weren’t ready to make. “You got me.”

“Did I?”

“What do you mean?”

Silence lingered, and after too long you sat up and looked at him, and that got him to talk.

“Nothing,” he insisted. He pulled you closer with two fingers holding your chin, and you didn’t resist. “Nothing, baby. Let’s just… just be quiet for a while.”

There wasn’t time for you to say anything else. His lips were on yours the moment he got his last word out. And even though you expected him to kiss you, it still made you gasp.

You couldn’t describe how much you missed kissing someone you wanted to, and Astumu’s kiss was like finding home. His lips were like candy, sweeter than sugar; his bite was a freezing shock that always pulled a giggle and a whisper of his name out of you. He knew how to kiss you, slow and deep with a hand on your jaw to keep you there, never leaving you wanting more because he gave everything you could ever need.

It didn’t take long for his kisses to trail down your neck, or for his shirt to come off, or for your back to land on the couch. You had already reached euphoria just seeing him hovering over you, eyes soft and hair askew; you didn’t need anything but this. You’d never want anything but this.

You did what you always did - trailed your hand down his torso, over his golden skin, stopping just after every freckle or scar or mark. This time, you were looking for something new. You didn’t find anything. You didn’t stop until your hand landed on his waist, and there, you squeezed -

“Stop, you little shit,” and he laughed, right along with you. A real and genuine laugh - you hadn’t heard that song in a long time. “Why do you always do that?”

Finally he moved down to press his chest against yours, his hips locking in place between your legs. A perfect combination.

“Why do you always give me the chance?” You were still laughing, not able to get over the cute sight. Atsumu was always so ticklish there, right on his waist, and when you made that discovery you swore you’d never forget it. And he sure as hell wished you would have. “You’re so cute. I’ve missed that smile.”

“I’ve missed you,” he replied. Somehow you just knew that he meant it.

“Don’t. I’m here.”

“You’re here,” he repeated. Like he was reassuring himself.

You took the initiative to unbutton your shirt yourself, so that there was no way for him to think that you wanted this to stop there. It couldn’t, not when you had him this close. And his eyes followed the popping buttons like stalking prey.

“And you’re still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Fucking hell.”

You cringed - you couldn’t help the feeling in your gut when he gave you those sweet words. You knew he meant them in some way; you knew Atsumu wouldn’t lie to you. He’s never told you anything just for the sake of it. But how many times, in the last three years, had someone done just that? Told you just what you wanted to hear so they could get inside you? It was vile the first time. The second, it made you ache. But now, you’re used to it. Nobody means what they say. You’re used to it.

And Atsumu could snatch up any girl he wanted. A girl who’s used to blinding lights and expensive wine and lying - or a girl who would stay with him, who wouldn’t push his buttons, who would be effortless in her charm and wit and beauty.

You couldn’t put yourself in either category.

“You haven’t seen many, then.”

“Why would I even need to when I’ve got you? You’re a fucking dream. All I ever think about.”

You shook your head, not even noticing you were doing it. Atsumu wouldn’t have it.

“Don’t do that,” he said. “Not when you know what you do to me. You’ve got my heart beating out of my chest, for fuck’s sake - it has been since you walked into the store.”

You never knew him to be so open with his feelings, or maybe you had just gotten used to being lied to. You weren’t sure and you didn’t care - all you could think about was kissing him, so you pulled him in, and you were sure he would devour you. You’d have no problem with that.

It was desperate when you said, “I need you.”

And reassuring when he replied, “I’m right here.”

He wasn’t close enough. You didn’t think he ever could be. And it was right then, when you were swimming in desperation, that you realized you shouldn’t have been doing this. It would only make leaving even harder. Doing it the first time was hell, letting him watch you leave and be okay with it. You hated yourself for wishing he wasn’t. And you were drowning.

You hated yourself for leaving.

You hated yourself more for coming back.

And you didn’t want to be there, all of a sudden, despite the ache in between your thighs and the addicting warmth he had you trapped in. You didn’t want to be there and you didn’t want to leave, either - you only wanted something easy, but you’d never have it. Not here, and not in the city, and not with Atsumu.

You felt him freeze, felt things shift. You hadn’t even noticed the way your energy had completely dropped.

“Something wrong?” He moved up to hold your face. He noticed the tears in your eyes before you did.

It was hard to look at him but you held his gaze, and his touch hurt more than it healed but you yearned for it. The concern on his face was genuine, the gentle strokes of his thumb on your cheek weren’t forced, and it all was making your stomach turn.

He cared for you - obviously he did - but not enough to ask you to stay. Not enough to find trouble in letting you leave him. So maybe you shouldn’t have a problem with it, either.

“No,” you said through a sore throat and a locked jaw. “Sorry, just…”

“We don’t have to do this,” he told you. “We can just talk - I want to talk. If it’s too much -”

“It’s okay,” you said. You tried to mean it as much as, “I miss you, Atsumu. I want you - touch me, I miss you.”

“I know,” and he was wiping the tears off of your cheeks as he kissed your lips, “I’ll take care of you, baby, just let me. Stop thinking so much. Let me take care of you like I always do, yeah? You want me to help you feel good?”

You always had a problem with that - thinking too much. He never hesitated to call you out on it. You nodded your head, strong and fast, like you were trying to knock the thoughts right out of it.

“Please, ‘Tsumu.” You were crying for him, pulling him closer. “Need you. Make it better, please.”

“I’d do anything,” he said. “You gotta quit crying, baby. You’re acting like our first time again.”

You laughed at that, wiping your own tears and knocking his hands away. “God, that was so embarrassing.”

“It was cute.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It was kinda hot, too.”

“Atsumu!”

It was his deep grin that made you relax again, and so did another blissful kiss that took your breath in a way that you enjoyed.

“You can cry, baby,” he said, popping buttons on both of your pants, “as long as it’s because of how good I’m making you feel. That’s what you need, pretty girl. Let me show you how much I’ve been missing you - get these pants off, baby, let me see you.”

He didn’t give you the chance to cry any more, at least not in an emotional sense. Your mind was stripped with your body, filled with nothing but him, no space between the two of you left for insecurities or questions.

It wasn’t until he coaxed you into his bedroom that those things had the chance to creep back.

Atsumu was out cold, cuddled into your chest and holding on tight to your waist, after smothering you in soft kisses and sweet sleepy words. You were comfortable there, warm and safe and content, but the pit in your stomach only grew. You watched him sleep, his mouth slightly open and eyes softly closed, and you wanted to reach down and kiss him but you resisted.

It was late and you should be asleep but you couldn’t rest. You couldn’t stop loathing yourself long enough to close your eyes, and the more you thought, the harder it got to breathe. Your throat was sore again. Your eyes were watering again. And every word you wanted to say to Atsumu was tumbling out of your mouth and falling onto sleeping ears.

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”

He didn’t stir. It was still rumbling breaths and the whir of the air conditioner filling the silence.

“Everyone else did. But you. Why… You of all people should know I’m just as worthless there as I am here - I’ll never make it - I’ve changed everything and still…”

You sucked a hard breath into your lungs to stop a wracking sob, just barely holding it in.

“I just ended up here again. With you. I’m so alone without you but I can’t - fuck.”

It didn’t even matter what you were trying to say anymore, because you had no clue. You didn’t know why you couldn’t just stay with him regardless of his choice to let you go, but something in you made you run. Maybe it was worthless pride or a childish desire to be something more - you didn’t know.

You didn’t belong in any industry you dreamed of working in. You weren’t born to be a star. You should know by now - should accept your failure and come back home for more than just one night.

But you couldn’t.

There was still a chance, wasn’t there?

A chance to belong somewhere.

A chance to be led home.

A chance to make it. Would you die trying?

You would leave in the morning. And you wouldn’t ask Atsumu to wait for you as he started getting ready for the day. And Atsumu wouldn’t ask you to ditch your own plotted destiny just to stay with him.

But this would happen again. Every time you would swear it off and every time, you would travel roads that take you right back to this town, this bed, these arms.

Running away would never get easier, but this is all it would ever be with him. He would never stop you leaving - and you would never ask him to.

. . .

...so i’ll go back to LA

#i researched how to fix pipes for this #by research i mean i went to hope depot dot com and looked at Pipes #my friend actually busted his sink pipe the other day exactly like i wrote and our other friend (who works at lowes) said he needs a Coupler #in conclusion i dont know how sinks or pipes work. do not perceive me or my writing.#miya atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #i forget what other tags i need to use lmao

45 notes · View notes

oscar-piastri · 2 years

Text

I posted 12 195 times in 2021

6091 posts created (50%)

6104 posts reblogged (50%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.0 posts.

I added 9 261 tags in 2021

#* - 3096 posts

#cassy is speaking - 1778 posts

#cassy’s answers - 980 posts

#anons - 596 posts

#cassy's answers - 571 posts

#gifs* - 524 posts

#edits* - 511 posts

#p: marcus armstrong - 471 posts

#p: charles leclerc - 371 posts

#f2 - 363 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#got cheap books from momox they were pretty damaged tho but 2€ a book im good with that (but they’re all in english bc not translated yet)

My Top Posts in 2021

drivers + countries (part 1)

737 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 18:44:05 GMT

#breakdance

743 notes • Posted 2021-08-29 20:01:20 GMT

847 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 13:14:52 GMT

TOM HOLLAND as PETER PARKER in SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME

1766 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 07:02:57 GMT

why you should reblog and support content creators

i’ve been on tumblr since 2012 and became a content creator in 2014/5, so i’ve been here for years and I can confirm that: people barely reblog posts now and it’s becoming an issue. yes content creators make stuff mostly for them, but if we post them it’s so people can see and enjoy it. and this happens when you hit “reblog”

the likes/reblogs ratios is a big disaster. when I first started, the reblogs were like 70% of a post with 30% of likes. now it’s 10% reblogs and 90% likes. likes are good, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t give us visibility.

reblogging = sharing posts to your followers. it’s easy and quick

WHY YOU SHOULD REBLOG

reblogs are important because it motivates people to create stuff and create more

it’s a great way to introduce your followers to a show/an artist/sports. i don’t wanna throw myself flowers but a few of my followers got into motorsport because I was reblogging posts about it (and also creating gifs and edits)

reblogs are a great way to make new friends because your followers/mutuals will see you have stuff in common and it will help to engage a conversation and start a friendship.

content creators spend a lot of time editing and a reblog shows that these hours weren’t lost

reblogging helps us making our work be seen as tumblr’s tags are sometimes broken and they don’t appear in tags

it encourages people to create more and. i’m posting graphics and reblogs are encouraging me to keep posting them and creating more

top bonus is when you leave nice stuff in the tags. we see them and we love it and we love you

reblog because it’s free and the button exists for a reason

there is many more reasons but i won’t spam you

WHY YOU SHOULD SUPPORT CONTENT CREATORS

we are nice

we provide stuff for free

we take requests and make stuff you ask for

we share our resources: colorings, writing tips, where to get pictures, where to get fonts, tutorials, links for softwares

because we struggle a lot with tumblr’s tags

because people are sometimes rude to us and send rude asks (ex: writers - to publish their writings sooner)

because our work is being stolen by people claiming it’s theirs

because our work is being reposted on other social medias without asking us and crediting

i’m not pointing a gun to your face screaming “REBLOG”, i’m just telling you that if you like a post, you should think about reblogging it so your followers can see it and you’ll make one person happy <3

7060 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 18:31:08 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #barely any marcus #top tags are just me talking way too much and posting too many gifs and edits nobody cares about lmao

8 notes · View notes

softavasilva · 2 years

Text

post your favourite or most popular post from each month this year <3 (it’s okay to skip months!) tagged by @deenafier tyy sm, u brilliant gifmaker!

this year was a looott of experimenting and trying out things wayyy our of my comfort zone but im so glad i did them bc i learned a lot and felt like i improved overall plus it was so funn creating so many different creative sets which i owe a lot to the other amazing gifmakers in this site still creating masterpiece content which are so inspiring!! get ready for my rants

jan, most popular: starting it off strong w kieutou jnvjd

feb, most popular: emisue s2 finale was insane i was going insane fav: q2 smiley kisses are so soft + hands bc its my weakness march, most popular: wilson siblings i deserve more of them fav: this raya and namaari set took me too long to do, it was the first time i tried blending with multiple scenes and colours in one canvas, it was def a learning process but im glad i didnt give up bc im proud of it

april, most popular: lmao its “when will men learn how to stfu” fav: “intimacy of damie” sometimes i look back on this and get really emotional jsnvjs its about the little things!! “dragons + magic” tried to do more blending + vibrant colouring w more visual interest for the first time and i really loved the way it turned out!

may, most popular: “MAEVE and AIMEE” my favv girls forever in their agenda fav: my first go at a heavily “graphic” style of gifset w my fav boy to ever exist “Jackson Marchetti” as well as my beloved “Maeve Wiley” I spent so long on both of these bc of lack of experience w typography especially, but w enough trial and errors i was v satifisfied w how it turned out

june,most popular: “icarly swearing” jkvksjn fav: learning how to clip scenes into a shape was a struggle im actually so embarrassed at how long it took me to figure out from a tutorial jvdnskj but this “wlw characters” set was so fun to make once i got the hang of it and it being pride month i ofc had to do this “Lexa” gifset bc shes my fav character to ever. tried a similar theme to my jackson one from above to get better at these type of gifsets and overall i was pretty pleased with it, def came out way better than i was expecting it too. also since i wanted to get better with typography i experimented with a type warp and gradient overlay a lot in this “hayley kiyoko mv”

july,most popular: “yelena being baby” miss her shes so funny fav: “samdeena edit” and this “samdeena w warrior nun quote” s/o to the insp link w/o them my creativity would be downnn so pls check em out i truly tried my best to do it justice with my own twisty twist and i was v happy especially w the colouring on these ones! aug,most popular: “Margot Robbie stunt” shes so impressive <3333 fav: “samdeena playlist” i experimented with a lot of fonts, warps and overlays in this set, i had so much fun making it! as u can tell i really went all out when fear street came out vnjdfnvjd. this “grace i don’t fear the devil” ofc insp from the person who tagged me hehe. played around a lot with blending modes on this one trying v hard to blend the scnes together to make sense. sept,most popular: “wlw romantic lines” i love being gay fav: “maeve and aimee in s3” i liked the way i coloured this one

oct,most popular: “emma as maeve” <333 fav: “SEX EDUCATION CHARACTERS + FLOWER ETYMOLOGY” v proud of how the colouring of this one turned out!!!

nov,most popular: “emily and walt whitman” emisue soft hours fav: “emisue hands” need i say more

dec,most popular: “emisue fingers” jvnskjdbjksd fav: a v quick edit i made in between classes of “kate and yelena”. obsessed with arcane and “caitvi + protective” i love this trope sm.

tagging: @bithcassidy, @you-are-crazy-beautiful , @dani-clayton , @lesbianjamies (feel free not to, and anyone who wants to do this consider yourself tagged i wanna see ur gifs!)

#the first half of the year i was making gifs left and right playing around w stuff i miss when i had that time #anyways sorry this got long hahaha #mentioned #tag game

6 notes · View notes

nialltlynch · 3 years

Text

mid-year book freakout

thank you @flitwickslittlebrotha !! i have been in a reading slump and this is just what i need to get back in the groove (probably)

Best Book You've Read So Far in 2021? I'm gonna say Alone with You in the Ether because I read that book in one night, and then reread it again in the same week, then went back to snippets that I enjoyed many many times since then which is practically unheard of for me (i usually dont revisit things at all and if I do its years later)

Best Sequel You've Read So Far in 2021? said quietly with my head in my hands...Mister Impossible.

New Release You Haven't Read Yet, But Want To? A Swim in a Pond in the Rain i guess????? I dont really keep up with whats new and what isnt, im very bad at it. thats the only one on my list that i know for sure was released this year.

Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021? cheating because this list is long and I dont want to read the whole thing: Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World

Biggest Disappointment? I have zero hopes for most books but I did not finish These Violent Delights. did not like that one At All.

Biggest Surprise? bro the Wizard of Oz books are fun! I remember reading the original and Ozma of Oz way back when I was a kid but I went through a read a bunch of them sporadically throughout this year and they're just. so fun. I was surprised by how much I've enjoyed them because I usually only go for one or two out of a series but they're such small bites it's easy to consume a few of them.

Favorite New Author? not really favorite and not really new, but daniel handler? I only read A Series of Unfortunate Events for the first time back when the netflix show was coming out and I didn't realize he also wrote The Basic Eight which I read this year and enjoyed. so I have a few of his other books sitting on my tbr for whenever I get around to it, which is about as favorite as it can really get with me. (but i have misgivings about him even though i know nothing of him so eh)

Newest Fiction Crush? charlotte regan <333

Newest Favorite Character? I remember having like. a week long freakout about mr. gregor dandolo to the point where I made a pretty sick graphic edit about him. I still do think about him sometimes and even though I have absolutely no interest in the overarching plot/other main characters in the founders trilogy, I'll probably skim through the last book for any gregor crumbs. he's got potential that I enjoy.

Book That Made You Cry? does Crush count? i dont cry much at books or anything but this certainly elicited a lingering feeling of sombre reflection.

Book That Made You Happy? all the books in The Wizard of Oz series! again, they're just really fun and cute.

Favorite Book Adaption You Saw This Year? the only book adaption I know for a fact I watched was Shadow & Bone which I really enjoyed despite never finishing any of the source material lmao

Favorite Review You've Written This Year? I dont really write reviews. I tried making edits for each book I read, which was sort of reflective of how I felt about them maybe? the one i made for The Bone Houses has received the most attention. I should get back to that. very fun.

Most Beautiful Book You Bought So Far This Year? I like my owl crate version of Mister Impossible because it has a sword on it (but kk! all the covers have swords on them. please shut up I do not see the cover 🙈)

What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? good question!! i dont really have any MUST READS but ive really really been meaning to read The Left Hand of Darkness (or any other of her works really), The Locked Tomb trilogy, and/or The Scorpio Races.

thank you!! i dont really know the cross section of who is currently reading and who's already done this but i will tag: @semicolonsandsimiles @mintmemories @bookwormlostinwonderland @laneway. no pressure, as always.

#tagged stuff #i am lit blog coded and praised as good lit blog representation despite not being a lit blog 😌#i love books but i hate reading etc etc

11 notes · View notes

jidai · 3 years

Text

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao.

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do.

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN. I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart.

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks 🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee.

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao.

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what--

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

#for mutuals #mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO #this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks #it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess

17 notes · View notes

aubrey-plaza · 3 years

Text

CREATOR TAG MEME

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by:

Sarah / @timothyolyphant. Sarah Sarah Sarah, where do I even begin. Started from the bottom now we here but it’s actually started from an ask I sent on anon about getting sunburnt in Bali, and now we here. Life always manages to remind me that through adversity you forge valuable bonds and you are one of those. Your gifs are amazing and your personality is even more stunning. I love talking to you and I love seeing much you love fostering people’s creativity. It has truly made me look at gifmaking in a different light and injected to much fun and positivity into this. So thank you, friend <3

Nums / @cillianmurphy. Nums, my love, fellow Bulb. What could I possibly have done so well in the past to deserve your presence in my life! Always teaching me new slang by osmosis and always a balm to my weathered heart, you lift even the darkest days with your kindness, consideration, and love for Paddington 2 best movie ever made. Plus your gifmaking brain is full chefs kiss. Thank you for teaching me so many things. One day when the world stops being so crazy I WILL visit you and hug you and that is a threat <3

Kumi / @hollywoods. Kumi, my cat icon kin. Simply said, I think your gifmaking skills are out of this world and your graphics live rent free in my mind. Your humour never fails to make me laugh and I need you to know that I STILL think about the time you described yourself as wearing a jester outfit jangling across the court for a laff. You’re a bright spot in my life and I’m grateful I’ve gotten to know you this year. Please never stop being so amazing <3

Cece / @nickyoung. Cece my darling. Thank you SO much for joining my lovecraft sideblog, I literally could not have done it without you. We don’t talk a lot but that doesn’t mean I don’t value you so much. Your creativity is incredible and your sets are SO fucking gorgeous and honestly goals. Seeing you flourish fills me with so much pride and joy and I’m so happy we got to know each other this year <3

Okay emo stuff out of the way, time for my favourite edits! There were a lot and im indecisive so here goes:

max max: fury road set - I like to call this set “kate learns how to make a colour set.” I learned how to make gifs and mmfr is one of my all-time favourite movies so it was only right that I made a set. I always thought this movie was only orange and blues, but making this gifset made me fall in love with the movie even more

birds of prey / dinah lance set - Dinah Lance love of my life. If you’ve followed me this year, you will know that I went into birds of prey a person and left birds of prey a dinah lance stan. I previously made a birds of prey colour set, but I wanted to do one JUST for dinah. I’ve seen one too many people say that it’s hard to do colour sets of poc so I had to see for myself and I’m SO proud of how colourful this set is. plus, yknow, I love her.

pacific rim / stacker pentecost set - pacrim is one of my FAVOURITE movies and this character has so many iconic lines. This lowkey turned into a colour set which isn’t hard for a movie like pacrim.

record stores in films set - I woke up one sunday morning and my brain was YELLING at me to make this set. I downloaded 25 movies that all have iconic record store scenes and watched every single one and ended up with ten perfect gifs. I cut so many movies bc they didn’t work as well and I’m so sad abt that but I had SO much fun watching the movies and ended up falling in love and finding a new fave in the compilation so it was really a Project and I had Fun.

the old guard set - this line makes me SO feral and I just HAD to gif it. It’s one my favourites because it’s my new lesson for life.

BONUS: my Lovecraft Country sets. This show taught me SO much and despite it’s awful ending, I’m still grateful for the first 7 episodes and I did end up making 65 sets for it over 10 weeks so I feel it deserves a special place in my 2020 recap

women in history - learning about history through a show, is there anything better? This set in particular was SO easy to make and took me literally 20 minutes, but that’s because it’s built on a solid foundation of knowledge. I knew the moment I saw a character which person in history she was and I think that’s a kudos to the show and to how well they taught me stuff. Also these other historical sets.

leti lewis outfits - took me FOR EVER. still fun tho.

episode 2 colours - speaks for itself but this show is so STUPID to colour and you can never use a psd bc every scene is lit differently but making a colour set was so much fun because of the challenge

this name etymology set - this took me four days and SO much time but im so proud of it because I tried new techniques and learned so much

Tagging some friends because I love seeing y’alls creations but I want to know what YOUR favourites are!

@vicspedretti @daisylouisejohnson @dani-clayton @hannahsgrose @jodiewhittakerr @hannahjohn-kamen @robintunney @chris-evans @alex-krycek @clintfbarton @bosemanchadwick @chloebeale @hailesteinfeld @timeslord @melsmonroe @annelisters @owenjoyner

#tag game #tagged #sorry this is so long #fave #michael jackson #k8txt #misc #friend tag

17 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 3 years

Text

Hey friendly reminder that I honestly do not want anyone to follow me unless they actually WANT to which means they are free to unfollow, refollow, leave and come back and leave again or WHATEVER as many times as they want, for any reason whatsoever. Including if my posting styles of the moment get to be too much for them or are not to their liking, etc?

BUT I have been seeing a surge in comments in notes and stuff on various posts of mine about the length of my posts or the rambling of my posts and like....I know? This is not new information to me? But I post the way I post at any given time based on the resources I have at any given time and the fact that its often a matter of I can post a long rambling post or I can make no post at all.

Like, I really truly do not like going into specifics about my situation more than necessary or when not necessary, because like, my situation is boring to me, I don’t particularly care to dwell on it any more than I have to. But the fact of the matter is its still a thing that exists so here goes: yes I have physical issues like near constant migraines and pain and also vertigo, and yes I have neurodivergencies like C-PTSD and ADHD and yes I have circumstances that include near constant stress from eternally being in the negatives, financially, as well as being almost constantly hungry from a lack of money and limited options for eating due to the physical constraints of my jaw as well as being consistently sleep deprived because there’s only so much sleep you can get when there’s no such thing as a physically comfortable sleeping arrangement for you currently, all while existing in a constant limbo of I literally have NO idea when any of this will change for me because haha fun fact WE LIVE IN A PANDEMIC.

My point is like......all of these are things I’m not shy about, but they don’t exist as bullet points in a checklist of identity or circumstantial traits, they all exist at all times as points of fact that influence and inform and interact with each other.

So my financial situation and limbo of not being able to move forward with my surgery because of the chaos of the health care industry during a pandemic directly informs both the way stress impacts my mental health issues, but also my ability to treat my mental health issues by way of medication, nutrition, rest.....ie, almost every cent I make via work, etc, goes right back out the door to keeping up my insurance premiums of $850 a month, because even though my surgery is paid for, there’s still elements like hospital stay fees, anesthesia, etc, that won’t be paid until the day of surgery itself, and which I will not be able to pay without my insurance remaining current and active. Which means that I had to prioritize an insurance package that would net me THOSE benefits, which means I had to sacrifice parts of insurance that are no longer in that package, but which previously made things like my medications, refill appointments and therapy more affordable for me.

Which means that I have to prioritize my medication and therapy etc and maintain my therapy and PTSD, depression and anxiety meds as the most important to upkeep, while my ADHD meds are pretty much priced out of accessibility for me at the moment. Like, the specifics of my metabolism and various trial and error with different meds over the years and the way my body rapidly adapts to various meds and plateaus to a point where they cease to have any real impact on me means the only ADHD medication that’s consistently effective for me is Vyvanse, which there isn’t a viable generic form of that I can take, meaning a monthly refill of it is $350 without insurance, which I flat out can not ever afford anymore, which means its been roughly two months since I last popped an ADHD pill.

So yeah, that directly impacts things like my ability to self-edit, make a point briefly, or refrain from circling back to the same point several times over and over because I literally forget that I made it.

Now of course ADHD medication is not the be-all and end-all and its not like there aren’t various other life-hacks and coping strategies for working around ADHD even without it, after all, I didn’t even get diagnosed until I was 26. But these various other adaptations rely on things like good nutrition (which I can not regularly afford, or even consume....most leafy green vegetables for example, or fruits other than berries, are literally nonstarters for me because I don’t have enough leverage with my one-sided jaw to CHEW them in the first place, and the ingredients for making smoothies regularly are again, expensive). So nutrition as a hack for ADHD management is pretty much out - I’m too busy prioritizing eating anything I can, whenever I can afford to. Other adaptations involve getting lots of rest: something that again, physically isn’t all that viable for me these days, even leaving aside the effects of constant stress on attempts at getting meaningful rest, along with the constant stress and constraints of trying to work as much as humanly possible in my circumstances, in order to keep bringing in income to go to insurance, rent, and food and meds. Then there’s also the stabilizing effects exercise and physical activity can have on the brain and various neurodivergencies like mine, but the migraines and vertigo make most forms of exercise a nonstarter for me, with most of the rest invalidated by the fact that I’m pretty much always hungry, tired, and in chronic pain.

Now let’s examine work and the viability of obtaining more sources of income to help with all this. Well, my options are limited there too due to the ecosystem of factors in play. I’ve been trying for awhile to find even a part time job in my area I can do, but the problems are even though I can make myself mobile and active through my pain issues and migraines, and am even good at gritting and bearing it and acting like I’m smiling and laughing and happy even while in excruciating pain (yay, perks of childhood abuse making a career in retail viable even while practically dead on my feet, lololol)......there’s the simple physiological limitation that I just can’t stay upright RELIABLY for more than a couple hours at a time. Eventually, dizziness knocks me on my ass. Downside of a jaw that’s constantly hanging with all its weight from one side of your face, fucking with your ability to even stand up straight, not to mention causing inner ear and equilibrium problems at random whenever you open or close your mouth in the wrong way (or mere approximation of ANY kind of way).

So, standing upright at any kind of customer service or retail job is one issue. Stocking stuff, that sort of thing.....not really an option when you’re likely to drop all of it at any given moment. But then there’s bracing myself at cash registers, something like a job at Starbucks or hell there’s a Jamba Juice nearby, that’d also get me an employee discount for smoothies I can drink regularly. Course, there’s the whirring of blenders and such, which pair great with constant migraines. Etc. Etc.

BUT. I’m a well-rounded person with lots of skills....which lead to things like my freelance graphic design business as a book cover designer, as well as various writing endeavors, etc. And all of these are things that I DO do, currently. They’re how I make my income as is. There’s absolutely more jobs out there, but the fact is as a freelancer, FINDING additional jobs is a time consuming and spoon consuming process, that is additionally impacted by factors like ADHD, so not only does looking for work require time that’s not already being spent working, it also requires the management and expenditure of mental resources that I have to prioritize FIRST towards applying them to what work I already DO have, given the absence of ADHD medication and minimal coping or regulatory habits allowing for me to be all that productive WITHOUT said meds.

Not to mention the strain sitting in front of a computer all day for work in venues like graphic design, etc, puts on migraines, so there’s only so many hours I can devote daily or in one sitting to doing things like cover work. Much of my writing time is spent not actually writing, but me just dictating into notes on my phone and then copying and pasting all that into the appropriate formats for fiction, nonfiction and just random posts. Of course here then I have to prioritize applying my mental resources to first making sure the stuff I write to make money gets edited or properly pared down to size and isn’t repeating the same shit over and over and over, then doing the same to stuff I write fic wise as one of my few escapes from Real Life BS so I can at least point to having SOME kind of life (as this has been my daily existence for years, and uh.....people having things they like or like to do, as much as is humanly feasible, only becomes MORE of a necessity the more stress involved in their day to day life, not less).

Meaning by the time I even get to posting, like.....as much as it may look like I do a lot of it, the speed at which I write when I have any kinds of spoons to apply to posting or composing thoughts at ALL means I actually pour out a lot in a little span of time.....BUT that’s not like, a Skill so much as its a Fact. Its just the way I am and it comes with its downsides as well as its upsides....Im good at banging out a lot in a short amount of time, but ONLY when I just....let it go, versus try and regulate it all or squeeze it out bit by bit. I’m a sprint poster these days rather than a marathoner, even if the length of my thoughts makes it LOOK like the latter.....the reality is for me it tends to be all or nothing, its whatever I can get on the page BEFORE I lose my breath or train of thought. So that’s why it looks the way it does, because that was the only form it was coming out at the specific time and space when I had the energy and brainpower TO get it out, and going back in hindsight and editing it for clarity or brevity AFTER I gasp it all out requires energy and breath I do not have PAST that point, so it becomes a simple equation of well do I want a post to exist here at all or not at all.....and I err on the side of posting. This isn’t a defense because there’s nothing to defend, mind you, I’m simply explaining my way through my thought process, approach to things, and realities of my day to day existence for you to do with whatever you want. Its just a perspective you may not have had before. Whatever.

Of course, even this doesn’t exist in a void. Something that’s always a factor in my awareness when posting is like......I’m lucky enough to have a large enough following that cares enough about what I have to say for whatever reasons or puts enough value in what I have to say or the things I write and create, that I’ve been able to supplement my financial needs when absolutely necessary at times, by way of donation posts. I try not to lean on them more than necessary because I am keenly aware that they are a gift from people, many of whom I do not know and will likely never meet, and as such, not something I have any form of expectation for. I make donation posts when and where I do not in the anticipation of getting them met, but simply for a lack of any other options whatsoever. I’m limited in the work I can do, and the time and energy I can devote to finding more of that same work. There’s not a ton of other career paths I can pursue even from behind a computer due to my lack of a college degree, and the fact that even when I’m qualified skill or knowledge wise, I lack the specific credentials for verifying that I possess those skills or knowledge in a way employers are inclined to recognize and/or validate. Going BACK to school to get said credentials is an expenditure of time, finances, and other resources I do not have to spare at the moment or any time soon, especially not in the name of shoring up a lack of all that in the present term.

I dropped out of college freshman year after my gaybashing and rape. I never went back to it for a variety of reasons that were only half about resources and half about intent. My family is not a presence in my life and hasn’t really been in any significant way since I was eighteen, so college in the first place was something I had to be entirely self-sufficient about....I was only able to afford to go the year that I did go by way of academic scholarships that were dependent on grades I couldn’t keep up in the wake of what happened to me, and that I couldn’t exactly ever get back without a foundation to build upon, like high school and my initial academic career. Then in the half that was about intent, I eventually moved into pursuing my actual interests like writing, graphic design and acting. One of the things I’ve always loved about those is that output and portfolio nets you more than credentials most of the time....they ARE your credentials. I was actually pretty damn successful as an actor for years, not in the way that leads to being someone that people would recognize, but in the way that leads to being able to support yourself doing what you love. All the skillsets that I have but could not back up with things like a diploma were still useful to me as an actor in a way that they’re not in terms of getting things like tutoring or teaching jobs.....I speak multiple languages but I’m self taught, I have a black belt in karate, I’m a classically trained pianist, I know a whole lot of shit about random shit that I just learned because I wanted to, and all of that got me the kind of work that I was looking for and meant I COULD work and make a living off those things for years throughout my twenty....work that I would not have been able to get if I had been back sitting in a classroom instead. The primary currency of my years as an actor were life experiences and I had those in spades, and I was very good at what I did, if I do say so myself, and the reasons I never advanced further career wise tended to have less to do with whether or not I booked the roles I auditioned for and whether I got the auditions at all......

I’m getting a bit off topic here but I’m just saying there’s definitely a convo to be had at some point, about the roles and opportunities I turned down because I wasn’t willing to sleep with someone or put up with their advancements in order to do so. Something that’s a dime a dozen in Hollywood and the thing is.....I was a sex worker, for years, before I moved to Hollywood and started working as an actor. But there’s a distinct difference between the way people talk about, interact with and perceive someone who’s gotten roles because of sex, advanced up a corporate ladder because of sex...versus, gotten paid because of sex. I didn’t turn down offers of roles for sex because of my hang-ups about sex but rather other peoples’......I had a problem with various parts of the industry that would have thought nothing about me getting a role because a producer wanted to sleep with me, but would have turned up their nose at me because I slept with someone to get money for groceries before. Basically I’m just saying the specific bullshit Hollywood has not just about sex but predatory behavior got in the way of my career advancement because there were some games I just wasn’t willing to play....which hails from the very life experiences that oftentimes made me so good as an actor in the first place.

Which brings me back again to my main point......none of this exists in a vaccuum. Being the sum of our life experiences and variables means being the SUM of that, at ALL times, both in large and small ways. We are never just a LIST of identity traits or experiences. They all constantly loop back around and feed into each other and inform where we are at every second of every day and where we GO in each second, what we DO with our days and the choices we make.

Which is where so much of my discontent with fandoms, on social media in general, with PEOPLE in my day to day life comes from: this desire people have to compartmentalize, to ZERO IN on specific factors or variables or instances and act like it even CAN be divorced from all other influences. Its not that you can’t FOCUS on one thing at a time, its just even when you do that, that doesn’t like....snap all existing connections that thing has to everything outside of your area of focus.

As an example, my attitudes on being a survivor and various kinds of fiction get me a ton of pushback from various corners, and its all geared around the same premise: don’t like, don’t read. Put a wall up between you and it. Focus on just what you’re doing and forget what everyone else is doing.

But it doesn’t work like that. It CAN’T work like that. And this commitment people have to pretending it does just because that pretense has been working for them, THAT, I’d argue, is the true wedge in fandom spaces.

Everything about me is connected to something else. I’m a childhood abuse and incest csa survivor. When my therapist asks me to picture a moment from my childhood when I felt safe or protected, I got nothing. I don’t have that resource. I don’t know what that feeling is meant to feel like, because I never felt it. And that connects directly into the fact that when I was gaybashed in college, after they dumped me in a fucking park, bleeding and covered in writing, I didn’t even think about going to the hospital, the police, let alone calling anyone like my parents, I just picked myself up and walked back to my dorm, cleaned myself off as best I could, and went to class next Monday morning. That’s fucked up, I shouldn’t have had to, but its what I did, and there’s no divorcing that from any of the contexts of WHY that’s what I did, and why I didn’t think there was any other logical recourse or option for me then. Just like all of that also links back to growing up in the closet and entering high school the same month Matthew Shepherd was attacked, and then when he ultimately died two months later, and watching everybody’s reactions to that informed the fact that I did not remotely feel safe in the aftermath of my attack, disclosing what happened to people around me, or just like I didn’t take it on face value that even if they said appropriately sensitive things to me to my face didn’t mean that like when I was a freshman in high school and everyone was reacting to that, they wouldn’t revert to callous jokes about fags the second they felt a little less out of the spotlight or in the right company for those jokes.

And all of that directly links into my feelings not just when people write rape and gaybashing scenes that make no attempt at any kind of catharsis but rather only appear to exist for the fetishization, the glamorization, the VALIDATION of the idea that in the right context, those kinds of scenes can be hot to the right audience rather than demoralizing to the figure who’s pain and humaniliation is required for everyone else’s entertainment....but it also additionally plays into the reactions and attitudes I have when people look at me going “wow, really don’t like the lens you’re using here or the environment you’re creating around an experience that is never anything BUT painful and traumatic for someone who lived it, like I did” and choose to respond to that by saying things that amount to “well you’re basically just like conservative southern assholes who hate free speech when you say stuff like this,” cuz y’know.....that’s describing my literal oppressors. That’s lumping me in with the actual literal kind of people who are the SOURCE of my trauma there, all because you felt butthurt and defensive about how I said I wasn’t comfortable with the kinds of jokes and output you were making about scenes that aren’t that far divorced from my own personal reality, and that I shouldn’t HAVE to divorce from my own experiences just to exist within certain fandom spaces.

And just like the fact that being an incest survivor is directly relevant to the fact that my stepmother always made an effort to keep me at a distance because not wanting to admit to what happened to me and how it played into our family entanglements was directly linked back to the fact that she and my aunt were both incest survivors who never got the opportunities to deal with what happened to them, which in turn directly plays into the fact that ultimately my aunt ended up taking her own life a few years ago, which also very much informs my attitude towards people interacting with incest ships as something cutesy and uwu, as my aunt was literally the only person in my family I ever WAS close to or comfortable with. And there’s no divorcing any of that into nice neat little compartments that make it easier for anyone on the outside looking in to just peek through ONE window to see what they might see, and try and act like it doesn’t matter what’s in any of those other boxes because it has nothing to do with the only one they want to concern themselves with.

And my lack of resources and emotional state post gay-bashing led directly into my sex work for various reasons, which led in various ways to better things for me in some respects, while compounding certain traumas of mine in other respects, and there’s no divorcing any of that from the rest either. There’s no ‘my time as a sex worker was good’ even though some of it was and there’s no ‘my time as a sex worker was bad’ even though some of it really was. And a lot of the attitudes of some of the rich assholes who paid me for sex and viewed me as a plaything they could do anything to directly informs my resistance to letting powerful assholes in Hollywood hold roles over my head in exchange for sex, even though the latter could have advanced my career in huge ways and led to me being a lot more financially stable and self-sufficient by the time my physical issues emerged due to the jaw joint on one side of my head eroding through and snapping completely just like that in turn was a long-building repercussion of not just my gaybashing, but my decision to never go to the hospital and get checked out after it.

None of this can be cut away from the rest and trimmed into neat little pieces that don’t color outside the lines or impact anything else. Just like my gaybashing itself can’t be divorced from my white privilege, and the fact that it played into the fact that I survived that night in the first place. Something I say not in some weird white guilt kinda way like people try and project onto others for even acknowledging white privilege, like no its not like I fucking wish I died to prove some kind of weird point, what I’m talking about is just the simple basic AWARENESS that multiple and even contradictory factors exist in even the most extreme of situations. And its never anything BUT self-serving to pretend that you can frame it as otherwise.

And so when I talk about being a survivor, just like with all the rest of this, I’m not talking about some arbitrary status of survivorhood that exists in a specific point in time and is only relevant to some singular event I survived, its applicable to everything about my life big and small. I’m a survivor every single day I’ve survived, every day I wake up and keep moving forward despite the pain and stress and lingering trauma of what was done to me one night sixteen years ago, I’m surviving what they did every bit as much as I survived it that night and in the morning after as I dragged myself back to my room. Just like my status as an abuse survivor stemming from childhood directly informs everything about not just my coping mechanisms but my entire freaking worldview as someone who grew up throughout childhood learning to view the world through a lens in which he was simultaneously not safe due to the presence of victimizers in his own home, while at the same time still having certain protections that others don’t have in life in general due to not just again my white privilege but my male privilege, my cis privilege.

And that’s what makes it so laughable and so offensive when people act like I’m defining myself by being a survivor as some kind of singular identity trait whenever I raise it as something of relevance in fandom discussions that have EVERYTHING to do with stances of abuse apologism and homophobic ideas that directly play into why I was so unsafe in certain parts and times of my life, because who the fuck is anyone else to tell me how my experiences as a survivor and how they shaped me are or are not relevant to ideas pertaining to those very things, when brought front and center and face to face with me in various fandoms due to the insistence of fandoms at large on KEEPING these things front and center in almost ALL fandom discussions? Like, the hilarious irony of people who have so wholly centered certain types of ship and content in terms of their own personal fandom identities that they can’t help but feel personally attacked when someone so much as says “I don’t like the ideas you’re broadcasting alongside your choice to amplify and signal boost this kind of content because you’re not JUST signalboosting the content itself, but these specific perceptions of it and ideas in support of and in apology for it.”....like, turning around and saying IM too defined by my views stemming from my existence as a survivor. The call is coming from inside the house, lolol.

Again, none of this can be divorced from the rest. It can be focused on one piece at a time, but its connections to everything else that informs it in various RELEVANT ways, can not be made IRRELEVANT just because you don’t like the picture that forms when you’re forced to look at the WHOLE picture instead of just willfully condensing the frame to just the part you like or want to talk about.

And to bring it all home, looping back up to what I opened with:

Do you know how often I hear people say shit about the length of my posts or the rambling nature or in various ways act INCONVENIENCED by various things about how they have to interact with my posts when that interaction itself is still completely voluntary?

Taking in everything I said in this post, the way it all interconnects and informs other things, I’d like to ask anyone who has ever objected to some post somewhere or derided one because of something as ultimately nonconsequential as the length of it, something where its literally just like....scroll a few more seconds......do you apply the same energy and scrutiny to posts that cross your dash that are filled with various things like racism, transphobia, rape or pedophilia fetishization or abuse apologism, or do you let that slide by without acknowledgment before looking at a post that makes you sigh because of how fucking LONG it was and think...this, THIS is what I’m gonna choose to speak up about?

Because that’s ultimately what this is all about. Here’s the kicker with everything I said....my life could be better, I want it to be better, from the biggest aspects of it and pain issues to stuff just like.....the fandom communities I immerse myself in for my own attempts at having something to counterbalance real life stress. But at the end of the day, there’s no my life sucks or my life rocks....its still just...my life. And it has its good as well as its bad, and that ultimately hails from my choices, and the fact that like....even while there are choices I literally CAN’T make, I can be comfortable with the ones I DO make.

And so like......would my life be easier in some respects now if I’d gone back to school and gotten a diploma and had more job opportunities available to me? Yeah, for sure. But that awareness doesn’t mean I regret my choice NOT to go back to school when I DID have more opportunities for that, because the acting career I had at those times instead was the choice I made, with intent, and its one I’m still glad for making. Those experiences still matter, still meant something and still mean something to me.

And do I wish that I’d coped with what happened to me in college in different, healthier ways that would have given me more tools for how I interact with my trauma and who I became after that, rather than how I did? Yeah, sometimes, for sure. But not without losing my awareness that the choices I did make at the time were not made in a vacuum, and can not be edited in hindsight....there were reasons I made them, reasons that were informed by everything that had happened to me previously and stemmed from a lot of things I still didn’t have control over and as such always placed a cap on the range of choices that were available to me back then, because there’s a difference between choices that exist in theory versus choices that exist as something that might viably be chosen at a particular place and time.

The world is big and complicated. Life is big and complicated. WE are big and complicated. And nothing about understanding any of that is IMO benefited by putting most of our effort into SHRINKING our worldviews, constructing artificial frames that don’t just focus us in on specific aspects of it for finite periods but attempt to then treat that as its own individual thing utterly disconnected from anything else that might be going on OUTSIDE that picture frame.

So if you’ve read this far and you’ve taken anything away from this big long rambling post that could be a lot shorter, could be a lot less rambling, but could also just not have been posted at all and I’d rather have it exist in this form than let everything in it go unsaid.....

My request would be that your takeaway be this: to look at your choices in regards to some specific finite interaction in even just one of your fandoms, and see what happens when you open the frame back up. If you widen the scope. If you let other things into the picture. Are you still comfortable with the choices you make or don’t make in light of THAT image, are they any different from the ones you made or would have made when keeping things as small and contained in your awareness as possible, just because that was easier for you to conceptualize, easier to navigate around, just....less COMPLICATED?

Because things aren’t made less complicated just by the mere fact of WANTING them to be.

And if your choices are more born of what you’d say or do IF the world were as finite or as limited as its sometimes easier to pretend it is......is that really the approach you want to go with and the reasoning you want to stand by?

And similarly, if there are choices you make and that in ORDER for you to feel comfortable making them, you feel a need to tighten your focus or shrink your worldview around one specific element or area and leave out all the rest and only then are you truly comfortable with doing or saying something, like......

Its important to remember that this isn’t the only option you have for making yourself more comfortable with things you say or do or think, or even just have in the past.

The other perfectly viable option exists: you can simply....make different choices.

#this is a post #im not entirely sure how else to describe it #just that it is not necessarily the post that it looks like beneath the cut that it looks like above the cut #so all I've got is: this has been a post #make of it what you will #lololol #its....whatever #ANYWHO

11 notes · View notes

jellyseul-archive · 4 years

Note

Hello! Could you share some psds, our tips etc that you use to edit? :0 Thanks in advance!

hi!! i’d be happy to share some tips!! this might be a bit long, i think i went a bit overboard…… i hope it helps a bit though… !!! also im assuming you have access to a program that can open psd files. and i use photoshop so i’m not sure this will be very helpful unless you have access to it or a program with similar capabilities..

i’ve made up a few examples (using the so what mv bc i just edited that) of how i usually go about editing, you can find the file here but i’ll explain a bit here as well!

0 : psd & general stuff

i feel kinda weird about this but i’ve included my psd in the attached file... if you’re going to use it i dont mind but please don’t say that you made it yourself, and a credit would be nice but i guess it’s not strictly necessary.

first of all, i pretty much always use the same psd with very minor adjustments. i do this to try to maintain a similar look to all of my edits & because i like this psd (i’ve been evolving it with minor adjustments every so often for years…). i always edit below the psd (as in the psd is applied over all the layers of my editing) and i usually edit with the psd on (i used to edit and then put the psd on after and that took so much longer because i couldnt see how the psd was affecting the way the image looked as i was working..)

this is basically how all of the psd files for my graphics look (usually with more descriptive names rather than numbers though), where each of the numbered groups is a graphic panel...

1 : colour correction

i basically start off by trying to normalise(?) the image as much as possible (trying to return the colours to what they would be naturally, without colour correction/filtering…)

first i use curves!!! curves are a lifesaver for me. most images/screencaps will have some kind of colour correction / filtering, i use curves to (somewhat) remove those effects. if you go here, i use the method described as “remove colour cast using auto colour” (except i basically ignore the steps 4/5)! sometimes this works, sometimes it doesnt… if the result isnt quite right i lower the opacity on the curves layer until it looks right to my eye.

if the image is still too bright/dark i add another curves layer with auto set to enhance brightness and contrast! and i again use opacity to make this look more natural!

if the image is still looking unnatural (usually this occurs on especially dark images, and the problem areas are usually on faces…) i use colour fill layers set to soft light or colour balance layers to adjust the colours until the image looks more natural? you can see this in group 8. yves face has a blue discolouration on it (if you untick the colour fill & balance layers you should see what im talking about), to counteract this i added a yellow/red layer and set it to soft light & then added a colour balance layer to make the image a bit more yellow/green. overall the image doesnt look exactly natural, but the colours are more smooth and i’d probably lean into the yellow/green tinge if i was making a graphic with this image!

2 : selecting subjects

there are so so so many ways to extract people or objects from images. i vary the method i use depending on the image in question and the effect im going for. i’m not going to explain every method because you can google “how to cut out an image in photoshop” and get some pretty good tutorials on how to do it in lots of different ways.

recently i’ve been using “select subject” (described here). you’ll likely have to clean up the selection using other tools such as lasso & selection tools, and it helps if you cut out a smaller square/area around the subject before trying to use the select subject tool. theres an example of this in group 9.

another method i use is selecting a range of colours from an image using “colour range” (described here). i use this to both change colours in an image and to remove backgrounds that are of a (relatively) uniform colour. you can see an example of this in group 10, i isolated the fire from the dark background by selecting the shadows & then inverting the selection but because olivia hye was also quite dark i had to select her separately.

theres no real easy or quick way to cut out things, it takes time and effort if you want it to look neat. but it really depends on how you want it to look and basically just practicing is the most important thing… over time it will get more straightforward and you will understand how to cut out different things depending on the image..

3 : colours & textures

probably my favourite part of editing! the fun bit!!

i’m not going to explain much of this right now bc i’m exhausted & i’m not sure how detailed this should be. but if you have specific questions i’ll be happy to try to answer them!!

anyway here are some basic notes on my editing style:

if i’m editing a music video i try to use other caps as textures, you can see this in groups 11, 14 & 15.

i like to layer different caps as seen in group 12

i use colour fill layers set to different blending modes (i mainly use soft light, color/hue, screen and multiply) as seen in basically all of the examples

i havent really put in any examples of this here but i use selective colour & hue/saturation adjustment layers to change/enhance specific colours

i have this one texture that i put on basically all of my edits, i’m not sure why but i like the way it looks... its in the “PSD + TXT” folder and its set to soft light & i put it on top of the psd bc otherwise the psd messes with the smoothness of the texture

(fyi,,, i shrunk the image size just so the file size wouldnt be too big and so the sitting kimlip is bigger than the cap it came from bc of that; the mv was in 4k so the caps were HUGE)

4 : other tips/notes......?

don’t get discouraged if you find it difficult at first

i’ve been editing for years and i’m still not that great and i find it hard sometimes but i do it for fun. i make probably 3 times as many things as i end up posting because i enjoy it and because i use it as an artistic outlet.

i hope someone found this useful? i think i went way overboard but i thought it was better to be thorough !! anyway i hope you have fun editing ! its always great to have more creators in the tumblr community!

#hyeinfection #itsphotoshop #photoshop #im sorry i wrote so much #m.ask

8 notes · View notes

dameincharge · 5 years

Text

* / FIRST MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST EVER YAY

hi ! in case i haven’t introduced myself to you, i’m celia !

i’ve been here for almost two weeks and i was able to meet 100+ amazing people in this blog !!

tbh i’m not the type to do this ever. not even in my previous rp blogs but i honestly have a good feeling about this community and the people i chose to surround myself with. so yeah, i just want to give some love and appreciation for every single one of you guys i see in my dash, discord, or ims !

i also want to go an extra mile on this appreciation post by helping some mutuals out !!! feel free to make ( 1 ) one request for an edit / graphic / promo / html stuff / background / header / anything else ! whatever it is, it’ll be done for free ! just pm me about it !!!

note: i still have the right tho to say no if i can’t actually do it so yahoo !!

anyways, i got more to say AHHH i just want to generally thank every single one i’ll be mentioning ! you guys make my dash brighter with the memes, the dash commentary, the ooc post, and all your gorgeous writing of your muses ! i may not be able to interact or write with most of you yet but please know that we definitely will one of these days !!!!

first thing’s first !!!

some special love to these folks i spoke to && wrote with:

@brokenvoiced / @litttlebeast : you’re actually the first person i wrote with ever and i love our thread ❤️❤️❤️ it surprises me that we haven’t really talked in the ims that much but i remembered it was because we spoke to each other through the tags which is pretty adorable ❤️❤️ you’re an excellent writer and i love how much thought you put for each of your muses. it puts a smile on my face that someone like you exists !!! thank you for writing with me, it’s such an honour !!!

@bonniestrash : star............ i think u know how i feel about you so i don’t think i have to scream at your face in this post about how much i appreciate you. i mean we both dO THAT CONSTANTLY TO EACH OTHER AMIRITE but ok ok but seriously, you’re the best gal/bae. it’s so much fun talking to you OOC and i love reading all your threads ( like your writing is 💯) !!! you genuinely care about woody and forky which is something i deeply adore !! your passion for the community is also unbelievable jdbjfcnxsk, i’m happy that you stuck around after all those years !!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@goldenacolyte : i absolutelY LOVE TALKING TO YOU. ❤️❤️❤️ my mood instantly just gets a massive boost whenever you message me. you have so many different muses and i salute you for being able to handle so much. and i also love the different songs you’ve shared with me. i hope we get to write with each other more and continue our late-night chats !!!

@porcelainlost && @bcpeep : so uhhh, hi sonny and katie. idk where to start because honestly, you’re both amazing OOC and IC. 👏👏👏👏👏 i love reading your threads and posts about our gal. ❤️ it blows my mind that we could each have different interpretations of her yet they all make total sense ??? you both give her character so much justice, i bet the bo peep team of the toy story franchise would hire you guys as writers in a heartbeat because all the stuff you guys make are jUST SO GREAT UGHH and as if that’s not enough, you’re both really kind OOC and i just know that we got each other’s backs !!!

@distrcss : you aren’t part of the toy story fandom but u mean a lot to me as one of the first people i made friends with in the disney rp community and i can’t believe we’re still chatting tjvjfvjkff i hope days get brighter and brighter for you, roz !!! thanks for being my friend and for putting up with me lmao !!! ❤️❤️❤️

and the rest of the gang !!!

@gollybobhowdy / @pullstringed / @sheriffjessie / @reachforthebeyond / @heartsent / @wellpullmystring / @dissimiilar / @rassembleur / @porcelainshepherdess / @yarnfulofhair / @carnbun / @turnsofate

YOU GUYS MAKE ME HAPPY BECAUSE THE TOY STORY RPC IS GROWING AND IT MEANS A LOT THAT WE MAKE EACH OTHER FEEL BELONGED AND LOVED dkfndj i’m sorry if i failed to mention other toy story roleplayers but pls know that you guys are awesome and very much appreciated !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️✨

also mini-shoutouts to the people whom i had fun talking to && would love to get to know more !!! ✨✨✨

@princesscoded / @scratchednotes / @spareisms / @turnsofate / @nmbh1 / @yarnfulofhair / @vinterdronniing / @sunshiinesquad / @starsweepers

and here is a list of mutuals ( in no particular order ) whom i have not spoken to OOC or interacted IC. despite whatever we haven’t got going, i absolutely adore you guys and i love seeing your posts pop up in my dash because i get to read all you writings and yes, i go through all of your blogs from time to time just to reread some things and admire some aesthetics !! the amount of time and effort you guys put in your characters astounds me, especially those with OCs and the with multi-muses ! YOU’RE ALL STELLAR AND TOP-NOTCHED !!! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME BE A PART OF YOUR RP LIFE AND I HOPE WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER MORE && MAYBE RP MORE !!! ✨💯❤️

@waveiiisms / @somniora / @strawberryfitzsherbert / @gcrminator / @wabbitseezon / @suverene / @hercullade / @contractualsarcasm / @badgedfox / @greatgrunkle / @vinterin / @degentillesse / @airborne-disaster / @bountyman / @raceze / @aestatenatus / @dragcnsden / @littlestchef / @inkmachine / @martyrcrowned / @sentientsnowman / @stereotypcd / @ofgreenpiece / @hawkinsghost / @murroyilodel / @thatscwewywabbit / @ghostbustingreen / @cardiac-queen / @imbicilite / @soughtbirthright / @highabcveground / @multitudesofmuses / @ofstreetrat / @demoliticnist / @sclarsurfcr / @3xwishes / @coronian / @incredi-baby / @lantcrnprincess / @porcelainjester / @trollraised / @magicfreed / @eternalsymphonies / @dinoroam / @soultraded / @dragetunge / @woerended / @nogoodnessimproveme / @just-kit-ink / @natureblessed / @evecursed / @theppgs / @lesmoth / @siickangels / @peachesandcrowns / @legacydestined / @adversiity / @loyalchu / @seasaltair / @prinsipessa / @merveiilles / @alonecour / @icxolation / @spacecour / @wiildhcart / @divinarcsa / @vanityrevolt / @star-foxxing-muses / @crcwnedjewels / @faircse / @allnostalgic / @toonthebeataround / @formental

#* the typist. / ooc. )#* / psa. )#// LONG POST #// AND YEAH THIS IS AN APPRECIATION POST #// ALSO THE REQUESTS ARE ONLY FOR PPL I MENTIONED #// BUT YEAH THANK YOU EVERYONE #// HERE'S TO MORE WRITING !!

61 notes · View notes

sandwyrm · 4 years

Text

TL;DR melancholic rant on why I took the writing in WoW so badly this year just to get it all out and finish my fucking five stages of grief spin routine.

Gonna read more it, it’s probably gonna end up super long and unedited really so don’t feel obligated to read lol

I am one of those losers that has been with Warcraft for the whole 25 years. I watched the company grow from “check out this FULL GAME coming with this gaming magazine! it’s called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans!” to being the biggest MMO around and celebrating 25 years while the world is burning. And when I was younger, it was perfect. It had everything. Nice gameplay, cool and funny voices, decent graphics for its time, cool models, and it started having a story too. Perf!

I never got along well with my brother, but by the gods the only fond memories I have of him are centered around Warcraft. Watching him play WC1. Him teaching me to play WC2. Me playing WC3. Him leaving our abusive home to hide out in internet cafes, and my parents sending me to look for him, and us just staying in there for hours, me watching him play WC3. Fond memories of us getting our two toaster computers hooked up for LAN to play WC over it.

Then WoW came, and my brother first got us an US account - it was impossible to play cross-region back then, our lag was immense, in the thousand of ms on a good day. So then an EU account. First rolled on Sylvanas, one of the biggest servers back then, then on Twisting Nether. I would skip school just so I could play because my toaster wouldn’t run it, only my brother’s computer, so when he was at work I’d be skipping high school playing WoW (I did fine, don’t worry). I invested so much time into my vanilla account it’s surreal. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out it has more /played than the rest of my life in the game. I met my ex on TN. I still have my vanilla account and characters on EU TN. The relationship with my ex doesn’t matter, it was abusive, toxic, I was a dumb optimist that stayed in it, doesn’t matter. He tried to get me to stop playing WoW. I still remember many instances when he went off on me for seeing me online, it’s 5 years since I broke up with him and like 8 since I stopped playing WoW with him and my heart still skips a beat when I get a whisper or hear the guild member login sound. It was that bad. He sure did his best to make me play the game only with him, “because he didn’t trust me and I would cheat on him through the game” - guys, if any of you are in this boat, please please please, put your foot down or break up. Your interests should be sacred and respected, as should be your entire person. But I digress.

Instead of breaking up, I went the mature route of buying a US license, and playing it while he was at work or I was visiting my parents. I rolled on a RP server for the first time ever, and it was probably the best decision of my life, so, gotta thank my abusive ex for that. I met many wonderful people, have many wonderful things on that account, and another 7 years of wonderful things on my EU account.

Then, the community itself. I hate it. Believe me, I hate the playerbase and fanbase of WoW with a burning passion. But at the same time, I have met amazing, wonderful, intelligent, friendly people I love and respect and wish the best for (if you’re reading this you’re part of this, yes, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re a horrible person lol). This is another fun arc. I started in the cringe culture. OCs are lame, who makes OCs lol. Then I became, I make OCs and cringe culture can die. Same with characters, but it’s different there. Oh, so different.

See, I began by loving the obvious characters - Thrall, Jaina, Sylvanas, Tyrande, Malf, the works. I didn’t even like Garrosh much as his arc was unfolding - between the thing with my ex, quitting Cataclysm, changing regions and restarting, I didn’t really have a chance to dwell into him fully. He became a villain and I was all yeah okay. Iguess.jpg. I even wanted him out of the story at his peak edgelord moments because I liked Anduin more obviously. WoD was something I did not process almost at all because I was high on a cocktail of pain meds and post-partum depression and sleep deprivation. Legion was pointless bullcrap in my eyes on the main story factor, and I sort of enjoyed BFA until the whole Saurfang sucks Sylvanas fucks deal in the writer dept and fandom.

Deciding to finally read the novels I had missed out on, and reading War Crimes, was what propelled me into “hahahahahah these idiots actually acquitted Garrosh of crimes in this book? Are they for fucking real?” and actually realizing the entire arc was a complete mess, BFA is a mess, the writer dept is a mess, and suddenly, I had no footing to stand anymore. A spit in the face, and then it overlapped the Saurfang hErOiC sAcRiFiCe special edition. I sort of had a breakdown and I hid it behind “well Saurfang was hot lol now I don’t have my orc grandpa anymore” but it was deeper than that.

See, when we get into a setting, we have this selfish expectation that it will grow with us. That it will mature with us. Keep up with us. That we will always enjoy this setting, definitely not as starry eyed as we did as children, but that it will always be good. ATLA is a great example. Dragonlance is still good. Star Wars may be hammy and have tons of issues now as an adult, but it’s still good. But Warcraft was my lifeblood for 25 years. And to know that not only it did not grow with me, but it regressed beyond belief, destroyed me in a strange sense. Kind of like losing a friend, a family member. They didn’t just kill Saurfang for me, the setting died with him as far as I’m concerned. Because he was the last bastion of what interested me in it.

I am that weirdo that loves, loves, war movies and books. I devour them. That was part of my downfall, and the writers and fanbase of WoW so often make it feel like it is, somehow, MY FAULT (just like Garrosh getting backstabbed repeatedly was his fault I guess?) It feels like it’s my fault that I care about weird things like the Geneva Conventions, and the Paris Conventions, and so on and so forth. It feels like I’m the idiot for knowing basic military tactics and conventions. It feels like I’m the idiot for wanting WARcraft to, at all, even a little bit, bear any resemblance to real wars, to real military tactics, to genuine war stories with genuinely well written soldiers. In my folly and pride, I forgot it’s first and foremost, a fantasy setting, a simplistic one at that.

It insulted me these guys can’t even google what consists a war crime. It insults me to my core these guys paint the ONE (1) character who goes all “hey maybe.... weird concept but..... maybe not kill kids, or torture prisoners, or kill unarmed soldiers and civilians. Maybe show COMPASSION”, that this guy had to go. It also insults me the only other character who listened to him - Garrosh, yes - was written as the setting’s biggest fucking villain to this day, and it needed some real fucking propaganda and twisting of the OBJECTIVE narrative to get that to pass, and yet it successfully passed by so many, including myself years ago as it unfolded.

At this point, it’s insulting to see the same themes - mentally unstable or hurt people deserve to suffer and die, there is no happiness because happiness and happy endings are for toddlers, we are just edgelords jacking off to our self inserts, world isn’t fair because real world isn’t fair anyway kiddo grow up, and what the fuck is honor even we just make it up no? Also objective facts and lore? Fuck that who cares lmao.

Here’s the deal.

War stories NEED hope. I can handle watching a whole regimen be killed in brutal ways in war, because REAL war stories always leave you SOMETHING at the end that was worth the whole pain. In a REAL war story, perhaps Saurfang would have still committed suicide by proxy in front of everyone, but people around him would have actually then gone and maybe fucking went “you know what he was correct. Let’s write the Geneva Conventions.” In a REAL war story, it would have been handled so much better. And perhaps, in a REAL war story, he would have survived. With so much loss, so much pain, and yet - with HOPE. Hope, for HIMSELF, for the future. Not the generic bullshit hOpE they tried to write into him. yOu CaNt KiLL hOpE....... Yes, you can. You fucking can. By killing off the last fucking character in the setting that cared about actual military honor (not just the buzzword it is in this fandom and setting), the last fucking character that cared about tomorrow, about fighting for a better world. That’s how you kill hope. And in my eyes, they did so damn well.

Because I don’t want to sit around and be insulted for another 25 years that I’m the only idiot who expects tactics, honor, a good outcome, a hopeful ending. Because I have reached the point I hate being in this game only to hear sTrEnGtH aNd hOnOr when it literally means nothing. Because I reached a point I hate watching the double standards they apply to their precious babes while the minor characters get thrown under the bus for way less. Because I reached a point where the fandom trying to go all “but Alex, someone has to set a precedent for a war crime trial!” means jack shit when nobody ELSE has been tried for any war crimes AFTER Garrosh (which would’ve been PEACHY by the fucking way). Because I got to a point Blizzcon gave me goddamn anxiety every time someone IMed me to tell me an announcement, and I got to a point I blacklisted half the tags on tumblr because I walk in to read what my friends have been up to and some damn Discourse makes its way to my dash, only for me to find myself feeling stupid and in the wrong for liking Saurfang. Not even Garrosh, which I would admit is Problematic(tm) but goddamn Saurfang. Leave it to this setting and fandom for making me feel stupid and idiotic and in the wrong for loving the goddamn war movie protagonist.

And at the end of it all, after much debate, I don’t think I will quit the setting. Writers don’t care, about their lore, about their characters, about us. The other fans don’t care who they hurt with their edgy rhetoric, I sure as fuck didn’t when I was younger and dumber myself. I’m sure eventually the wound will close completely and I’ll dissociate again from the story and fanbase and enjoy the gameplay and my very wonderful friends. First step in that, just for me, is to not buy Shadowlands. The xpack after, perhaps, it depends. But just out of spite, I will be that one idiot who has a sub running but doesn’t give a +1 sale on Shadowlands. Just for myself.

Second step...? Who knows.... Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring... This has indeed hurt worse than anything in my life. I have been going through the stages of grief - jokingly or seriously - since 8.2.5 now (and a whole load of 5 months of pure anger before that processing Garrosh’s arc from an objective standpoint). I cried more over the death of Saurfang (and the setting) than over my ex of 10 years leaving me as a single mom, or over all my other relationships combined. I’m not ashamed to admit that even if it’s cRiNgY. Like I said, it wasn’t just the death of one fictional character, but the death of a setting I loved and grew up with. The final acceptance that there is nothing left for me in the setting that shaped my interests, art, writing, and all that. That my interests have gone too far in other directions - optimism, actual war stories, good stories, being a mature individual, acknowledging mentally ill or divergent characters and not making excuses for author darlings. It’s a weird thing... Like the final acceptance that I have lost what could qualify as a dear friend or family member. While they are still alive and interacting with me daily. Like a breakup. But way worse. It is a pain I wish on noone honestly. But I do hope against hope, like an idiot, that other settings, other writers, future generations of writers, will do better. I know they won’t. But I’ll take my sliver of hope.

And if you read this far, I do genuinely hope the game - this game, any other interests - will keep bringing joy to you. And also, help yourself to a cookie. Thanks <3 I wish you a good day/weekend.

#salt #negativity

6 notes · View notes

michaelreaderreblog · 5 years

Text

My truemate pt13

AN: The long wait is now over. I dont remember if I even edited this but if I didnt. I am so sorry. I was getting another thing going and “editing” at the same time. Anyways, My truemate is finally up and will continue going. Sorry for the long silence, dreadful cage. Sorry wont go into a personal rant. Enjoy my loves!! Tag list is there. If you’d like to be added to the tags please send a message. I hope I got everyone for the tags, I know last time I didnt. Ok enjoy my sweeet darlings. Yes my inner Freddie Mercury is appearing.

**********************

Catch up here:

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

******************************************************************************

Word Count: 2,319

After a few minutes have gone by is when the both of you hear the garage door open and he gets straight to work with the deliveries he will be doing.

His phone rings and he is all business for the rest of the day.

“Well that was rather interesting” you say to break the silence after taking a sip from your cup of coffee.

“I suppose it rather is” Castiel says with a smile still spread across his face

You could feel that he is feeling rather content about Dean serving him breakfast when he almost forgot that he is suppose to be working.

“After we are done here, we can start working and one question though?” you say getting up to put your plate away into the sink, you really needed to get on the dishes.

“Geez, I'll get this later, I have a few things to do before I do the dishes” you mutter to yourself.

“My car got delivered to the house before getting here and thats how I got myself here” Castiel says from the table while he sill eating the food Dean has served him.

“Damn, thats right. Is it alright if we used your car to delivery the party favours?” you ask from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I dont see that as a problem. You finished them already?” he asks as he gets up from the table to bring over his dirty dishes to place into the sink to as well.

“Yeah I got them done last night when I couldnt sleep” you tell him while getting the water ready.

You decided to wash the dishes and setting them on the rack for them to dry.

“Anything troubling you, why you couldnt sleep?” he asks standing beside you as you begin to rinse out the suds from the plates.

“Uh, yeah” you answer him quietly.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” he asks in sympathy.

“When we first moved here and sort of got settled into the house. We decided to head out for supper and when we got to the diner there was this douchey pervert that grabbed me. He was just so aggressive and the things that he said just made me feel so like Im only useful for one thing. The things that he wanted to do to me just scared me so much that something could happen at any given time and I feel that this will not be the first.” You tell Castiel as you try not to break down in front of him but he can sense that you fear there is going to be more trouble a head.

“Hey, hey, hey, dont worry about a thing ok. You have two caring, loving, protective brothers who are willing to do anything for you. I for one will not let anything happen to you and we need to tell my father about this and soon. At the same time you can go to the police about this. They take Omega rights very seriously, trust me when I say that” he says as he takes you into his arms and embraces you into a tight hug.

You accept the embrace right away and feel yourself calming down by the gesture.

“You know, we have known each other for a day and I feel like I have known you my entire life” you say as a smile creeps at the corners of your face.

“Well I think its because we are family in ways, I mean Im your brothers mate and you’re my brothers mate” as he says that you pull away slowly to look at him in the eyes.

“He told you that?” you ask in a hushed tone.

“Yeah he told me yesterday and he also mentioned that he is feeling rather conflicted because he has Anna. She has told him before that she would let him go if his true mate ever came along. I advised him to talk to her right away and well end things because I would rather have him truly happy then not knowing what its like to be with someone as his equal” he says as he places his hand on your shoulder.

“You know I was feeling rather jealous about her the day before when I met her. She is so sincere, kind and beautiful. I was telling Dean that she is so lucky to be waking up beside him, going home to him every night while I sit here thinking that should be me because he is my true mate” you tell him as you rewash the plate over and over again.

He stops you from rewashing the plate for millionth time and places it in the rinse water and on the dish rack.

“I had a feeling you would say something like that and you would be feeling this way. Y/n believe me when I say this, Michael will do the right thing here and talk to Anna about all of this. He has always believed in true mates from when we were growing up and he would always tell my brother well my late brother and I how he would be so happy when he found his equal. How he would have the perfect family to call his own and to protect whats his if anyone threatened his family. I always wanted them to be truly happy and find the mates that they belonged to and I still want that for Michael. There is no need to be feeling jealous alright? Anna should be the one to be jealous since I am very certain she knows about the true mate thing already” Castiel says as he looks into your eyes and the one thing you held onto the most was him referring to his late brother and as you saw him mention him you could see the pain spread across his face while he mentions him.

“Late brother? What happened? Sorry its just your expression completely changed at the mentions of him. Again sorry if you dont want to talk about it than I understand” you say as you continued washing every single dirty dish, utensils, pots, and pans until the dish rack is filled with the mornings servings and last night.

“No its fine, I would have to talk about this sooner or later. Im also guessing you have been wondering why I asked if your brothers were Alpha's” he says as he goes back to the table to have himself seated.

You follow right behind him and do the same thing at the table across from him.

“A few years after I presented Omega and after one of my heats my brother Lucifer, is his name by the way. After one of my heats he told me to stay home just until my scent had gone away completely. I told him that it would be fine and how much I really wanted to get out of the house to see my friends whom I havent seen in a week. While he has told me countless times to stay home I didnt listen to him and I went out anyways. As I was walking through the square to meet up with my friends, I was followed little ways and then a van pulls up beside me. The man who followed me was Alpha, he came running behind me told me how ripe my scent was and told me how amazing I would be for one of his bosses brothels and make millions off of me. He drugged me, another man pulled me into the van and took me to an old warehouse outside of town. I woke up in this empty room, looked around to get up from the chair only to see Im tied to it. I managed to get my phone from my pocket to send an emergency text to my brother, he responded and found me on the GPS system that was turned on from my phone. I heard someone walking down the hall and I was still out of it from the drugs and pretended to be out again. Lucifer came into the room and I felt someone trying to cut through the rope and I was trying to resist the person until I heard his voice telling me who he was and he was going to get me out of there. Suddenly that turned for the worst when the three men who abducted me came back to the room to transfer me some where else is what Im guessing. They saw my brother, attacked him, he fought back and one of them came at me but I managed to kick him in his groin and he fell to the floor while my brother yelled at me to make a run for it. I didnt want to leave him behind but he pushed me towards the door and I ran. I ran so fast like my life depended on it, I got to his car and drove little ways away from the warehouse to call the police for help. Within minutes they all came, they managed to capture one of them while the other two fled. The paramedics came out with a body and one of the officers told me to identify the body which I did. As they lifted the sheet from his face, thats when I went completely numb and couldnt believe that was my brother. I was frozen until they moved him away from me and thats when I went frantic told them he was only sleeping and that I should take him home. The officer told me my brother was gone and he risked his life to save mine. For so many years I have blamed my biology for his death, blamed it on me when I knew I should have stayed home when he told me to, and I blamed myself for everything that has gone wrong that day. After we had the funeral I stayed home, locked myself in my room or at times I would lock myself in my brothers room and I would go through his things and I would wear his clothes. My parents and Michael saw how I was and I knew they didnt like how I was dealing with everything. Until Michael thought it would be a good idea for me to move with him to Portland where he went to school, he told my parents but they didnt like that idea so much and my dad finally said ok maybe it would be a good idea to get away for while. I did move to Portland with Michael, he went to school, I enrolled in school to take this graphic design program for the two years I was there. Michael graduated, we came home, he found himself a place to live and I moved back in with my parents because my mother didnt like the idea of me living by myself. I graduated the program online not to long ago and here I am sitting with you, telling you about my story on how I lost my brother. Well how my parents lost a son, and how Michael lost a brother as well” Castiel tells his story as tears streamed down his face as you sit there surprised he hasnt broken into a sob while telling you what happened all those years ago.

You place your hand over his that are placed over the table

“Now I understand why you asked if my brothers were Alpha's. I am so sorry about your brother. You know what your brother did was a courageous thing for you to be here. If that was you than you would have never met your true mate who happens to be Dean. I think he would have never found his true mate if the tables were turned. Like you want for Michael I would love for Dean to have. Castiel you are living proof you are meant for something so beautiful that no one could ever have because of the circumstances that has taken a twist in life. Living proof that you are meant to live a long happy life even if that doesnt include your brother. You are an amazing person and you are worth it, even if you cant see it but I do. Dean sees it to along with Sam even though we have only known you for a day but still I can feel that from you” you tell him as you wipe away the tears from his face and kiss his forehead.

While you did that he still has his head down looking to the table top and closes his eyes when your lips meet his fore head.

“You really are a lovely person you know that, I know it takes a while to get back to my normal self. By being with you I feel like I can grasp something of myself from years ago and now I am getting the feeling I can fully appreciate the little things in life again. Now I am really happy I have taken this job opportunity with you and I thank you for all of this” he says as he lifts his head to get a good look at you and tell you while he gazes into your eyes.

You were cut off by the door bell ringing and you get up from the chair to answer it.

“No let me” he says as he gets up from the table to answer the door and its a customer for the plush toys they have ordered.

You run down the stairs to get the order from your office and run back up the stairs to hand it to Castiel. They say their thank yous and went on their merry way home to surprise the children with such amazing toys to cherish forever.

********************************************

Taglist:

@animegirlgeeky

@strangerthingshargove

@freerebelmentality

@enthusedbycuriosity

@sia-del

34 notes · View notes

weirdlizard26 · 5 years

Note

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

#wl26 #wl26 answers #flamingerrs #jay just so you know i love you a whole lot #i really did that huh #long post

3 notes · View notes