#this is an idea that would be a longfic if I ever wrote it out
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It was a stupid idea to take a job like this. He'd waited and waited for his eye to heal and finally got fed up with waiting. He'd taken the first offer that had come his way.
And here he was, trapped on all fours, unable to speak, and with far more problems than a mere lack of depth perception.
He tried to shout and it came out a roar.
Fuck this. Fuck Gotham. He'd only come here because he needed something to get out of his own head, to stop seeing Joey's wide, terrified eyes every time he slept. He needed to run, to flee far and fast enough that he could outrun his greatest mistake.
He shouldn't have waited. He shouldn't have convinced himself that he was invincible, he was unstoppable, he was the best killer on the planet. He shouldn't have hesitated when he saw the man holding his son prisoner.
And here he was, trapped after all.
Slade grunted and forced himself forward, awkwardly crawling on his new limbs. No one had mentioned that there was fucking magic involved and now he was seeing shit in colors that didn't exist and trying to get used to moving four legs instead of two. The eye was still gone, though.
He couldn't even get the magician to undo it, because the man was dead.
When will you get it through your thick fucking skull that murder cannot solve everything, Adeline had screamed at him. Of course, she'd then done her level best to murder him, so Slade felt justified in ignoring her opinion.
Slade continued to drag himself to the warehouse door--and then paused. Where was he planning to go? His gear had been blown up by magic and his safehouse was blocks away. He couldn't unlock his security without opposable thumbs, or pick up a phone to call Wintergreen, or communicate with anyone. There wasn't a convenient sign hanging over his head that said 'actually a human!'.
He had, he realized chillingly, no idea if it could even be undone.
The sound of footsteps broke his horrified reverie and Slade immediately searched for a place to hide. He was a large animal, a predator judging by the sharp teeth and claws, and he did not want to meet whatever passed for Animal Control in this fucked-up city.
Unfortunately, he ended up cornered by animals of a different kind.
"Holy zoo jailbreak, Batman, is that a tiger?" a brightly colored kid exclaimed, peering from between a dark, forbidding shadow. Slade cast a glance at himself--he could only see white fur but he supposed it was possible. "How did it get here?"
Slade made a threatening growl as the vigilantes sidled forward and they froze. Well, Batman froze and Robin ducked around him.
"Robin!" Batman said sharply, but the kid ignored his orders. Of course he did, he was a kid, and Slade felt his ire grow--he had never meant to put Joey in danger and now his son was mute. What the fuck was Batman thinking, dressing his son as a brightly colored target and taking him out crimefighting.
"He's hurt, B," Robin said, still creeping forward. Slade snarled as loudly as he got, sending Batman rocking forward, but Robin ignored it. "See, he's bleeding!"
There was something wet and irritating in the crook of Slade's neck, and he kept having to fight the insane urge to lick it, but he held his ground, roaring furiously as Robin got closer.
"Robin!" Batman called out, now sounding distinctly worried, but the kid was barely a yard away from Slade now.
"It's okay," Robin murmured to Slade, holding out his empty hands. "I'm just trying to help you."
Jesus fucking Christ. Did this kid have no self-preservation or what? He was close enough to touch now, and while Slade wanted to lash out and test the sharpness of his claws, he also wasn't a monster. No matter what Adeline said.
He wasn't going to maul some kid barely older than Joey. Not when he kept seeing skin split open by a sharp knife, blood welling up almost as fast as the panic.
"It's okay," Robin soothed, gently placing a hand on Slade's head. Slade's ears flicked irritably. "I'm going to check if you're okay." Slade was not happy, but he let Robin examine the wound area on his blind side, keeping his eye fixed on Batman.
He growled low and deep when he caught the man creeping forward.
"Robin," Batman said tightly, "leave it. They can check on it when they take it to the zoo."
Slade snarled, loud and furious. He wasn't going to go meekly into some cage.
"But what about the evidence of magic?" Robin pointed out sensibly. He was a smart kid. "I don't think Gotham Zoo's equipped to take care of a magical tiger."
Very smart kid. Slade managed to figure out how to fold his legs and leaned heavily on the kid, half-pinning him in place as he glared down Batman.
Batman sighed, loud and put-upon. "Robin," he said, somewhere between firm and exasperated. "That's a tiger, not a pet. We're not putting it in the Batcave."
"He needs help," Robin said, voice wavering. "You said our job was to help whoever needed it."
Slade got to watch Batman, Dark Knight of Gotham, dreaded terror of criminals and vagabonds, fold like a bad hand.
"You're telling Alfred," Batman growled as Robin cheered in victory.
Slade decided to go along with the nudging. Batman and Robin were the only ones who knew about the magic, which meant they were his best chance at getting a solution.
It had absolutely nothing to do with the ear scritches. Nothing at all.
#my snippets#slade wilson#murder uncle Slade#magic#animal transformation#this is an idea that would be a longfic if I ever wrote it out#with Slade recovering at the Manor#healing from the loss of his family and his eye#Slade grudgingly tolerating the baby Robin#and growling at Bruce because it's funny#probably would end up BruSlade
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so we can all agree on kevin later on in life having chronic pain and complications due to growing up in the nest right? cause i just know that shit weakened the hell out of his immune system. i know his ass is always sick. there’s a chill outside and he’s laid down on the sofa like her majesty just fainted. sickly frail ailing victorian child. he’s like a first grader who catches/brings home like 5 different diseases within the first month of school. he’s just a princess who’s been locked in a tower most of his life guys it’s not his fault 🙄
YEAH 100% :) my love @jaywalkers animediac on ao3 wrote a katekevaaron all about that and i think really as a concept we should talk about it more because to me it's very indicative that the moriyamas did not expect nor care if kevin lived long enough to see the consequences of his life in the nest. i love the idea of kevin having to reckon with his past in such a physical way, mostly because i love stories where the body remembers trauma even if the mind forgets. kevin day.... has no one ever told you that the body keeps score?
and it's true it's true! i think he'll experience a lifetime of easy sickness and fragile bones and as he grows older + advances into his career it will become very clear that the stretch of time he has to be the Greatest at exy is actually not so large. there's something very interesting to me about the idea of exy actively making kevin's health worse as he grows older and him desperately clinging to it anyway. it's so human you know......... i think they would have to plan an intervention to get him to retire after the second career threatening injury :') and there is no way it is going to be easy. i dream of a longfic about kevin post-retirement getting to live the rest of his life he feared deeply when he was young, and more so i dream of someone taking his cold little hands and saying life can be beautiful again..... we deserve this. after the year we had we all deserve this !
#asks#kevin#my poor sweetheart he really is my poor sweetheart#kevin they did not deserve you at all ok.... none of them
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Tag game that took me way too long to do
Hi, hello, I'm still here. Life and side-tracking happened a lot and, lately, my only online presence was some reblogs. Nonetheless!! It made me really happy to see that I've been tagged in this wonderful tag game by @inkoherentwriting and @dirty-bosmer and @blossom-adventures Thank you so much and sorry it took me this long to actually do it!
How many works do you have on AO3?
Just 6 so far!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
100,271 (oh!! I didn't realize I hit the 100k word count before doing this!)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The Elder Scrolls and Dragon Age so far, but I would love to expand that list, and I have my eye on a few fandoms (looking directly at One Piece)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
I only have six fics, and I don't really like looking at the statistics because it makes me terribly sad and unmotivated.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes!!! Comments are everything to me. It may take some time to respond, but just know that I read the comments as soon as I get the email notification and I reread whenever I feel self conscious about my fics (which is *very* often lmao)
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
My longfics are not finished yet, but if you read chapter 15 of WYGTYA, then you'll know which one will have the angstiest ending Spoilers: it's Hymn of the Highs Seas, it's prequel. Author's note: WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO, I AM SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE PIRATES. But I *will* find a way to make it as satisfying an ending as possible, and it will most definitely have a fluffy/bittersweet epilogue. HOTHS will not be sad, I promise!
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
After all the shit I'll put Ravonna through, she deserves it the most, so WYGTYA, probably! Also, my Ralof/Hadvar fic has a really happy ending, if ya know what I mean :)))))
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not yet. I have this wonderful small community of dear readers and they're the most awesome people in the world <3
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Smut is not really my thing, so no. The most I'll do is imply.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I haven't, but I'll never say never!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of, and I doubt anyone would want to steal my writing out of anyone's
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
No, but I think it would be a very nice experience! I've spoken to a few beloved mutuals about crossovers in which Ravonna meets their ldbs, and I have an idea in mind where I could write a few chapters, each of them exploring Ravonna accidentally teleporting into their ldb's world, but it's still just an idea at the moment :)
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
That I've written? I don't know if I can choose because I love them all, but Rumcurio and Ralof/Hadvar are incredibly underrated ships in the TES fandom and I wish they had more content!
Fave ship of all time? Well, right now I am watching Jujutsu Kaisen and I am, of course, having satosugu brainrot. They could have had everything :(((( So beautifully tragic, this one. The fix-it fanfics are amazing, too! But if I had to pick just one ship to be my favourite, I think I'll go with the ineffable husbands because 6000 years of pining is just exquisite <3 <3
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
A very sad and romantic reincarnation AU of WYGTYA where we get to see many versions of Ravonna through the ages! I say romantic, but knowing myself, it won't be super sappy. It's Ravonna that we're talking about here :))
16. What are your writing strengths?
I would say that dialogue, and banter in particular. That's what flows the easiest to me, and I think that is how I'm able to express a character's traits and personality the best
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I believe there's room for improvement in all areas, but what I struggle with the most is angst, probably. I need to practice focusing on describing the character's feelings more. Also, politics. Crucial to the plot, but my mind never cooperates when I want to write politics.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue on another language in a fic?
If it's a few words, it's fine, I think it adds flavour to the chapter, but translations should be provided. However, I would avoid writing entire paragraphs in another language, that's just confusing to readers.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Skyrim! I wrote for the Tes Summer Fest event in 2022!
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
I love them all very dearly, but hear me out!!! WYGTYA is my first baby, my longest fic and the thing that led me to start such beautiful friendships online. It will always have a special place in my heart! In my soul, there's a jewellery box dedicated to just WYGTYA, and it's all heart shaped and made out of love. Ravonna is by far my most developed oc, so much so that she feels like a real person sometimes when I think of her. She's even become a source of inspiration for me at times and her story with her fellowship will never fail to put a smile on my face. She's also such a big impact on my writing that I think she will become a blueprint for future stories that I write. Every story will have a Ravonna-type character, for sure. That's how much love I have for her!
But I started writing WYGTYA as a beginner, and I sense that I will go back to some of the earlier chapters and re-edit some stuff. Right now, the fic that I'm most satisfied of is HOTHS. It's still at 2 chapters (soon to be three), but I'm so excited about this project, and the characters are all ocs, and my heart is so full of love for them that it overflows! It's also a pirate story, and I always have such a weak spot for pirates. It also follows the storyline and plot twist that I'm most proud of in WYGTYA, all about Ravonna's lineage. Damn, I guess I have Ravonna to thank for this, too. I'm just really happy with this twist and canon divergence in Deathbrand's character. I feel like he has so much potential in the TES Universe, and I'm about to explore all that and more in this fic!
Oh wow, that last bit got so very rambly, I'm so sorry!
I don't know who has done this or not, but I'll tag @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @bostoniangirl21 @sheirukitriesfandom @illumiera
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Ao3 20 Questions
thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3
i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3
How many works do you currently have on ao3?
Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol
What's your total ao3 word count?
98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.
What fandoms do you write for?
Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS
What are your top five fics by kudos?
Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild
Do you respond to comments?
Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas
What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.
Do you get hate on fics?
Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.
Have you ever cowritten a fic?
Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.
What's your all time favorite ship?
God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.
What are your writing strengths?
I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!
What are your writing weaknesses?
Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.
First fandom you wrote for?
Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.
Favorite fic you've written?
not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.
thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3
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thank you @veliseraptor for tagging me ❤️ i had a lot of fun with this one
Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.
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first fic ever published: prickly hearts
my beloved!!! this story is extra funny to me because before this i was all "it would be hubris to try to write vp they're too NUANCED i'll mess them up" and then the ghost of khun spikes whacked me on the head with a crackfic idea and the rest is history
last fic published: warm-blooded
cue me from almost exactly a year ago telling my roommate i could "never write porn" skjdfksadfkjhdsfjkhf where's my clown nose
any fic i wrote for a ship only once: press F to pay respects
my one and only kinn/porsche fic. but the real crime here is that it's my one and only macau & chay fic 😭 I'LL GET TO IT ONE DAY
favorite fic for ship with most works: you can't make me choose
i love so many of them! and i'm fond of them for different reasons, so it's really hard to pick one over the rest. breathtaking might be some of my best writing. vivace has characterization i'm very happy with, and i'm proud that i managed to do that while keeping it lighthearted. but if we're talking favorite fic for me to read... god this is hard!!!!! i love reading my funnier stuff. so maybe it really still is prickly hearts
fic i wish more people read: have u heard of the f/f vp agenda–
here is my running theory: if more people read f/f vp then more people will write it and then there will be more of it for ME to read. this is a flawless plan. i will take no criticism
fic i agonized over the most: [redacted]
i could pick a published fic for this but i don't tend to agonize too much over oneshots when i'm writing them and anyway you could add up all of the agony over all of my published fics and it would not even be 1/100th of the agonizing i am doing over my current wip. longfics SUCK. "it'll just be 3 chapters that's not so bad" "ah shit this wasn't in the outline" "why does the halfway mark keep getting FURTHER away" 0/10 would not recommend i am blinking twice please airlift me out of here
fic that sprang fully formed from my mind: blindside
this is kind of a stretch in that i had had a couple of stray macau thoughts hanging around my head for months. things like "macau goes off at korn and it's heartwrenching and futile and pete has to drag him away" or "pete and macau have a days-long staring match over vegas's comatose body" but let's be real it was mostly a giant metaphorical whiteboard in my brain with the words "PETE AND MACAU????!!!" written on it and underlined six times. it didn't coalesce into "pete holds a gun to macau's head and it somehow ruins all of korn's plans" until i was standing in the middle of a crosswalk on my way home going oh my GOD THAT WOULD BE INSANE PETE WOULD BE THAT INSANE!!!! then i blacked out and it was written
work i am proud of: reignite
i reread this recently and it reads like it was written by someone who was not me. i would not in a million years have imagined i was capable of writing like that. so i love it very much, and i feel like i did namphueng justice, and she fucking deserves it.
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hmmm tagging @ghost--houses and @fanonplussed and @magicaldreamfox1 if you're feeling it!
#fun things i did while procrastinating on my writing 😊#once i get past this scene it's over for my wip#i am gonna win this fight watch me#mine: tag game
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fic asks
Thank you for the tag @junkshop-disco!
How many works do you have on ao3?
44!
What's your total ao3 word count?
560,688
What fandoms do you write for?
At this point, just Fate: the Winx Saga but I have a smattering of other fandom one shots on my ao3. Call me a serial monogamist, I guess? It takes a lot for me to be possessed enough to write, so it rarely happens for multiple fandoms at once.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Tempting Fate
Battle Lines
Point of No Return
A Man Plans a Tree in Whose Shade He May Never Sit
En Garde
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I always mean to! but sometimes the Anxiety gets in the way. I made a concerted effort like a month ago to reply to some out of date comments and I'm hoping to continue.
What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I have a history of writing one-shots of whump prompts, so some of those have quite punchy endings. Fate is a very dramatic show and so it's not a far leap to be cruel sometimes. But of my longfics, It Was Just Red is definitely the angstiest, but to be fair it's a prequel story to one with a happier ending.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I've written quite a few I would consider happy, one that comes to mind of late is A Lady's Guide to Fools and Fortunes, the Rivusa Bridgerton AU I wrote with Val.
Do you get hate on fics?
In a previous fandom I received hate for a twist ending to a longfic. To be fair to my audience, I didn't lay much groundwork (at all) for the twist; I was still a young author who thought it was fun to pull the wool over the eyes of my readers. After BBC Sherlock showed me how awful that was (plus general maturity), I have since learned my lesson.
I've also gotten a comment or two criticizing my characters' choices and I steam over them but ultimately ignore them. A character making a bad choice doesn't mean I'm endorsing that choice. I don't want to read a story about perfect people who never do anything wrong, and I'm definitely not going to write that either.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Are there different kinds of smut? Tropes, maybe? I have written everything from fading to black to fully explicit group sex. At this point I tend to fade to black except when I consider the detail important to the story (for example, choosing to break a vow of celibacy…).
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I have never really grokked crossovers, I don't think I have that kind of brain where I can reconcile separate worldbuilding. It's never grabbed me as a reader, either, but I am a bit envious of those with the imagination to do it!
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yeppers.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! I had one fic translated recently, with permission, and I'm glad I did because a hilarious catfight erupted in the comments, involving the anonymous aggressor informing my translator that her father, the owner of ficbook, was going to delete the fic, and co-opted a sock account to validate Anonymous Aggressor's paternity.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yessss my usual partner in crime is Val who is fantastic at motivation and bouncing off ideas. Mo my usual beta who provides amazing enough feedback I sometimes feel like I should list her as co-writer.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
I'm a multi-shipper; I tend to fixate on one character and I'm happy to explore their dynamic with a variety of ships.
What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
In general if I start posting something then I'm going to finish it, no matter how brutal it gets. But starting to think that The Last Resort, my Rivusa fake dating AU with Val, might never recover from Fate S2.
What are your writing strengths?
I think I am pretty good at conveying characters' states of mind, through their internal thoughts and what they're physically doing. I think my writing has dramatically improved in the last two years since I got into Fate and most of that has to do with being thoughtful about showing what characters are thinking/doing and why, instead of telling.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Listen. I amn just a litle creacher. Sometimes I just completely miss certain things in canon and their implications, so off I go writing away my own interpretation that's "incorrect" (yeah yeah I know, fuck canon, but it matters to me! Sometimes!). I can be very guilty of projecting qualities onto my most fave and least fave characters that are a stretch when reconciled with canon.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Sure? I have learned not to treat your readers with kid gloves. They can figure out meanings from context.
First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter, on my neopets.com petpage because I didn't know about LiveJournal or fanfiction.net
Favorite fic you've written?
This is just cruel to have to choose! But I always circle back to Point of No Return. Rereading it now there are a lot of improvements I would make to the writing, but a) it's the fic that got me back into writing after a 5ish year dry spell, b) it hits pretty much all of my fave tropes/whumps, c) it led me to connecting with a new community that I now speak to daily and have even visited across the ocean! and d) it absorbed so much of my life (I wrote 60k in a little over a month) that I finally had the guts to share my writing hobby with my partner, who is wonderfully supportive. That fic changed my life for the better in so many ways.
I tag @whenshesayshush @faytalepsy @blue-aconite and whoever else wants to do this!
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I was watching RotG and suddenly I could only see the meme with the increasingly large dominos. With the small domino being 'Pia watching RotG' and the big domino being 'Efnisien, Gary, Anton, Temsen, Gwyn and Augus all starring in the same a/b/o fic'. Does RotG hold a special place for you, thinking of all the stories you've written since?
Hmm,
Yes and no? There's an even smaller domino you're not seeing which is that I had written original characters and stories before this, and Augus in particular was based off an original character I'd written before (and not published) so like, Rise of the Guardians didn't *invent* him, I did, years before I ever watched the movie. But there's also dominoes that drove me out of the fandom, and it was my bitterness re: the fandom that prompted the writing of original fic in the first place.
So let me tell you a story, anon. If you don't want to know how toxic the RotG fandom could be, I recommend you just walk away now and know that no, actually, RotG doesn't have a special place in my heart, knowing I wrote original fic to initially escape the way some small pockets of that fandom treated me. Otherwise I would have written RotG fiction for far far longer, because as the old-timers will remember, I actually had a couple of longfic ideas lined up to go immediately after SAL that I abandoned because of well...everything.
I actually spent a while after finishing SAL kind of hating Rise of the Guardians because of some nasty drama and meanness/spite towards me, particularly in the last few chapters, and it took about 2-3 years before I could even consider watching the movie again or write for the fandom again. And then by the time I'd come back, all of my original stuff was established, and I felt a lot more comfortable, and a lot more 'fuck the haters' with some of the stuff I had previously had to deal with.
(Fandom wank beneath the cut, lol)
For example (self-harm and suicide mention) one person would specifically post graphic horrible self-harm photos complete with blood tagged into the RotG and blackice tag/s specifically to coincide with my chapter releases towards the end of SAL - and she was a BNF in the fandom in her own way, so *everyone* kind of knew who she was and what she was doing - and she blamed me and my story for the self-harm, and so I had people coming to me going 'do you realise what this story is doing to this person, don't you even care.' And of course I felt horribly guilty and distressed, but I was also at this point around 7/8 chapters from finishing the story, wanting to give everyone a happy ending, and after posting the last chapter I broke down and cried because I was just so relieved that I didn't have to be tormented by this specific person anymore or see these images as a survivor of suicide attempts and self-harm myself.
But also just crying out of sheer distress because of how horrible those last few weeks were, because like, if it wasn't for the readers I would have walked away due to the pressure and bullying and coercion to get out of the fandom just because I had a story that some folks enjoyed reading. That was a level of targeted hate I'd never encountered before, and have never encountered since.
Around that time a couple of small hate groups started up about me, and I would get messages like 'you realise there are hate groups about you, right?' and I'd be like 'please don't tell me about this, people can hate me, leave them alone.' Then there was the time I just got - over around 10 days - about 100+ messages telling me to kill myself because of SAL and how 'horrible' it was re: it's 'really dark themes' which I find hilarious now, but back then, was actually really stressful when it coincided with someone literally *harming themselves* or posting old self-harm photos on days I posted a chapter, talking about how the reason she was doing it was because she hated that my story was so popular when it didn't deserve to be.
Like, no, I did not have a special relationship with Rise of the Guardians by then, or the fandom. I hated it. It's why I stopped writing for it when previously I literally had so many ideas I wanted to write for Jack/Pitch. For years after that. I would remember the good memories I'd made with SAL, but a lot of readers followed me into original works. And otherwise, all I remembered was being forced to see those photos and this person's tags if I went into the tags to look for fanart to share and promote. I'd made some very good friends (some very best friends, actually), and some of us got the hell out of that fandom as fast as we possibly could to escape these people.
So like, I would love to say that like, I feel nothing but fond memories thinking of the influence Rise of the Guardians has had on me, but no fandom that I've ever been in has ever had this kind of level of underground viciousness that developed as the story gained momentum.
When I wrote The Golden Age that Never Was I was truly detached from the fandom and the movie. I was writing based on my memories and feelings of the characters. I didn't look in the tags like I used to, and instead looked for when I was mentioned directly. I had a spike of anxiety every time I got an anon message while writing it, and I had to like...avoid fics and a bunch of other stuff to get through it.
I have watched Rise of the Guardians since and I do really enjoy it, but...I don't see the dominoes the same way you do anon, probably because of the way it all happened in my head, though I do think putting original writing on AO3 happened partly because I was in a hurry to get out of the RotG fandom. So in a way RotG is connected to that, but like, only because I was fleeing and abandoning all of my Pitch/Jack ideas as I went (to the point where people remembered them and still asked me about them years later and I was like 'haha oh no sorry I'm not writing those oh well maybe one day!')
Chances are high I actually wouldn't have written original fiction if my love for Rise of the Guardians had still stayed strong. I was ready to write two very specific longfics, and had done worldbuilding for both, and was talking openly about them, but towards the end of SAL I bolted from the fandom as fast as I could. The hate I got from specific corners of the RotG fandom is one of the reasons I started writing Game Theory before SAL was even finished - to cope with how I felt about the end of SAL and the hatred I was getting there. When some of those folks said 'omg I'll never read a story about Augus' I was literally like 'oh thank fuck, I'm going to be left alone now.'
Like...I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia like 6 months after that, I cracked teeth because of how stressed I was, and I still have crowns in my mouth and teeth removed because of that whole period. I was sleeping an average of 3 hours a night.
...I feel a very special fondness for the people who supported me at the time, especially my good friend Silvia, who is still my beta and friend today. She is responsible for far more of the dominoes that have led to this moment than Rise of the Guardians could ever directly be. And I am extraordinarily grateful for the readers who have found my stuff since. Now the majority of readers of my original stuff have never actually seen Rise of the Guardians or read my RotG fics, and like, actually sometimes that's really nice, if a bit weird.
I have never, in my life, encountered a fandom that could get as toxic as pockets of Rise of the Guardians got, and I'm including Dragon Age: Inquisition in that, which had literal blocklists of asexual people, so you know I mean business! But as a final point, I do want to say the majority of people there were amazing, absolutely amazing, this is truly a case of a few bad apples spoiling the whole experience, and I'm still to this day gutted it happened like that, and have zero surprise a lot of people left the fandom all at once, at the same time, because of it.
#asks and answers#personal#lmao not gonna tag this into anything important#SALverse#shadows and light#basically yeah... even when i rewatched the movie#i can't help but remember what happened#and those images#of literal self-harm being posted on tumblr#and tags viciously implying i was the worst person#for the crime of writing a story that got popular#like i didnt' PLAN for that to happen and i certainly didn't know#as a result#i'd be told to kill myself over a hundred times#one of the reasons i just don't give a shit about antis these days#is that i know they're just bullies#but being a *direct victim* of that bullying with those specific triggers#was like...yeah#anyway there are so many people from that fandom who i love and think of fondly#but the movie will always remind me of *that* time#and even writing this post has left me feeling like choked up and anxious#like i used to feel all the time back then#i have complicated feelings for RotG#and it's a shame because the movie is truly gorgeous and savagely underrated
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20 questions for fic writers
thank you so much for the tag @bornforastorm, i loved reading through yours :3
i will tag @marley-manson / @rescue-ram / @persianflaw / @leonardcohenofficial / @raywritesthings
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 14… will be 15 in under 24 hrs ;)
2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 136,971… just over 100K of which were published this year :D
3. What fandoms do you write for? MASH at the moment, with no end in sight. I have two ideas for twin peaks but not much motivation to write them, let alone the discipline.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? if you really wanna know here’s my ao3 and you can you sort by kudos, i don’t wanna link my fics in other fandoms that are almost 7 years old now… pls…
5. Do you respond to comments? i used to be quite diligent about doing it but when i was publishing near-daily for kinktober i fell behind because i was literally writing every day. i may still go back to respond to them because i like doing it.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the beejhawk sex pollen fic (heavy dubcon warning)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i’m realizing that most of traphawk fics are only ‘happy endings’ if you see them as self-contained, which they aren’t really, because even though trapper’s exit isn’t at all relevant, i’m not consciously ‘unwriting’ that. but in-fic probably Goodbye, Farewell and Amen to That because it explicitly states that TrapHawk can handle whatever is thrown at them, which would include whatever happens post-fic.
8. Do you get hate on fics? for a while i had an anon who submitted vagues about me / my work so like yes, i’ve read a couple vagues seemed they were about my fic but, and i know this sounds like a cop-out but genuinely, i’m kinda flattered by anyone who hates my fic and still manages to read the whole thing and write a public post about how how they didn’t like it? like, what are we???
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i consider myself primarily a smut writer, only incidentally non-smut writer. i write all kinds and can’t wait to diversify more.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? my dream fic is a specific crossover.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yes
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not recently, but in former fandoms yes.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? sort of. it isn’t published. but maybe soon.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? traphawk is the ship to me. some things we should be dramatic about: there’s the traphawk that i write and then there’s the traphawk that i live, which only my irl trapper understands
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? now that i have discovered the margaret longfic i really want to write i’ve officially abandoned my 80K canon-compliant margaret WIP
16. What are your writing strengths? i’m disciplined, i want to improve, i take risks, i’m curious, i’m honest and i welcome strong challenges from the people who edit my work.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? i have some barriers (i’m dyslexic and english is my not my first language) but i could still stand to be much more diligent about grammar and punctuation. beyond that, my prose tends to be flowery and verbose and need to be reined in a lot. i’m trying to get better at on my own but it helps that my OG beta, marley, is kind of my stylistic foil lol (hope she doesn’t mind me saying), she trims a lot of the fat from my work and helps me communicate my ideas better. lastly, sometimes i suffer from being really married to an idea that sounded cooler in my head than it does on paper, and i have a really hard time setting it down.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i say this as someone who is multilingual - it’s almost never a good idea, especially in fic, if you’re having a main character speak partially in another language for no reason except to note that you, the author, knows that they speak another language. it could maybe make sense for atmosphere, but in that case, just say “they were speaking x language / they said something in x language”.
i’ll be honest, it annoys me so much that if i see a character in a fic drop a few words in a language other than english and then continue on in english that i will x-out of a fic. there’s got to be some thoughtful in-universe explanation for that e.g. if you’re in Canada, bilingual service agents will say ‘Hello/Bonjour’ to you to indicate that you have an option to speak with them in either language.
19. First fandom you wrote for? uhhh i honestly don’t remember. i’ve been writing fanfiction since before i was a teenager. first time i published it might’ve been for the legend of zelda.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? at the moment it’s cherry bomb! because it was a nice, smutty interlude in traphawk’s relationship and a fic that exists mostly for kink’s sake but still has a distinct vibe, unlike filthysweet which i don’t hate, but imo is unremarkable. CB is 95% style 5% substance and still contains weight somehow. i really hope i can recreate that again.
#btw when i see it typed out 'Ao3' i can't help but think... Attack on 3some...#i'm really behind in tag games but i'm always curious abt people's ficcish thoughts#tag game#my fic#wip stuff#(future) wip stuff
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[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]
Tagged by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn 💖 I did this one a few months ago but a few answers have changed since then so I'll update those. 😊
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Six now! Four one-shots, a short-ish multi-chapter which was supposed to be a one-shot that got away from me, and my longfic which at this point I should have just waited to post but am definitely still chipping away at.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
33,030 which is almost double my count from a few months ago. Woaaaaaaaaahhhh
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Still Assassin's Creed, now dipping into Baldur's Gate 3 as well.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Still the same five fics in the same order but with slightly different numbers:
Hideaway - 149
Bright Skies - 139
Press On, Move Along - 94
Out of the Cold - 43
Honor Bound - 29
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! Always.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Still Press On, Move Along.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Still Hideaway.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Still hate-free, for now.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Sure do 💀 and I've posted some of it since the last time I did this. I think the only way I can really describe it is emotionally-charged, because if I'm going to horny jail it will at the very least be in service of some kind of character development. 😭
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Still occasionally poke away at the AC x Star Wars AU, but I'm not super invested in it right now. But I'm sure that will change as soon as a new Star Wars thing comes out. Since I last did this I also went digging through the depths of my writing folder and found a Walking Dead x MCU crossover that I must have started when I was like 14 years old. Absolute fucking horror show that I am so very thankful I never wrote enough to post. 🤡
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Still no, as far as I'm aware.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, except for yelling back and forth about ideas with friends. I would probably be open to it but also maybe not because I know I am extremely unreliable.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Saying "all-time" favourite feels a bit much, but as far as mental real estate and also just sheer number of words written, Leovor far surpasses any other ship I've been into. 🧍🏻♀️
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Since I did that ask game a few weeks ago, the Inquisitor Ahsoka/Rex starting a clone rebellion/post TCW AU has been on my mind. But I know that, realistically speaking, I'm unlikely to ever be invested enough to actually sit down and write it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm trying to make a point to read more fiction and while it's possible that the few books I've read thus far lately just haven't been particularly good, it's certainly made me way more confident in my ability to write dialogue that feels like it would be spoken by real live humans and not aliens pretending to be humans. Similar deal with internal monologues. I'm convinced that none of these authors read their work aloud.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Still generally the same—overthinking comma usage, editing while I write and therefore being very slow, going back and forth between being stuck because I didn't plan enough and feeling stifled because I planned too much. Etc etc.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I try to avoid it as much as possible, with the exception being words or phrases that are used a lot in canon.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Still Marvel :(
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Honor Bound is still my baby, but I didn't expect to actually like A Different Kind of Solace as much as I do, mostly because I didn't really go into writing it expecting to hit the emotional notes that it does. Also still Out of the Cold. There are some banger lines there.
Not tagging anyone because this one has gone around a few times recently but if you want to do it, you're welcome to pretend I tagged you. 😌
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Fic Writer 2023 Review
Based on this. I always want to do annual reviews but then don't get around to them and then it feels weird doing them in February, so here we go for once. Under a cut because long (There's 30 things and I ramble. Not sorry.).
1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?
I suppose that I wrote a fic from Blake's POV counts. I didn't have a big plan for trying something new for Whumptober this year, but I always find myself doing it because everything starts to feel stale if you write 30 fics in so short a timeframe. So the POV was supposed to be what I tried with that fic, but the fic got away from me a bit, so in retrospect the unusual (for me) POV feels comparatively insignificant. There was also more Jenna this year - I think I'm getting there, so yes.
2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!)
I have no idea. I have a very long list of WiPs that I am sure I have added a sentence or two across the year, or maybe I just opened them, fixed a few typos and closed them again, and then I have a few handwritten things that I haven't typed up yet. But *at least* it's 35 published things (31 of which are Whumptobers) and the longfic, so 36. Put like that, it sounds terribly prolific.
3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?
I enjoy creating without expectation - immersing myself in the longfic with no idea when it will be done or how long it will get was terribly freeing. The downside is that I also realised that I'm not really intrinsicly motivated to post and share anymore, or at least that thought generates no positive pressure at all because scales. It would be really easy for me to never post another fic right now, but I'm not stopping writing.
4. What piece of media inspired you the most?
Always and ever, Blake's 7. There's nothing else that makes me want to write right now.
5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year?
Accordingly: Blake's 7
6. What ship(s) captured your heart?
Avon/Vila. Though they had me already.
7. What character(s) captured your heart?
See above.
8. Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year?
No. Since a lot of my writing, Whumptober aside, went into the longfic, I didn't do much experimenting - not even during Whumptober, really.
9. What fic meant the most to you to write?
Longfic aside, because as ongoing project that obviously matters, possibly Wet Towels, because it feels like I nailed a tonal direction I want to go in with my Avon/Vila.
10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
By far, the longfic. Some of the Whumptobers were just the right kind of painful, but the most joy creating - yes, the longfic.
11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?
Impending Destiny. I know I keep harping on about this fic, and maybe I'm the only one who thinks it's the best oneshot I've written this year and everyone else hates it, but it was so intense to write and so satisfying.
12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?
I did a few "second takes" on Whumptober this year, so I guess those and no, but then again the second take wasn't difficult, I just wasn't happy with the first and haven't touched those since. Fic I stuck with, possibly either Ghastly Aftermath, because ouch (it's difficult to write while you're crying at your own writing, all right?) , or Mistaken Trust because the final scenes were difficult to get right.
13. What fic was the easiest to write?
Nothing strikes me as particularly easier than the rest, really, but then what published writing I've done has been mostly in my comfort zone either way. So I guess all of the ones that weren't difficult?
14. What were your shortest and longest fics this year?
With Every Single Kiss has literal drabbles, so that, though all of the drabbles together are longer than my shortest oneshot. Longest is the ongoing longfic (duh) currently sitting at approx. 91k.
15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023
I am once again begging you to read Impending Destiny, lol. But if that isn't you're cup of tea, try Mistaken Trust or Spun Gold.
16. What were you go-to writing songs?
I didn't have many, this year. There's usually at least one or two, but I had a weird year with music, I feel, with few new songs that I really fell in love with, so there's been lots of playlists on shuffle and there's no song I could point to.
17. What were your go-to writing snacks?
I don't really snack when I write for fun, and I've had to cut down on my chocolate intake, so unless it's a chocolate praline, none.
18. What was the hardest fic to title?
Is "all of them" an answer that's allowed? I guess I could say Free Fall, not because of the fic, but because it was the first Whumptober and I was trying to figure out the "title format" for the rest of the Whumptobers. (I don't know if anyone has noticed that the Whumptobers have had title formats for three years now, but either way...) Other than that, the no-longer-so-untitled longfic was the one I put most thought into titling, but I'm not telling yet.
19. Share your favorite opening line
So... the thing about Whumptober is that it makes you *incredibly aware* of opening lines, or the format of opening lines. I try not to start all of them the same way, but I also tend to... slip into self-referential facetiousness doing that, in that all of them become funny when considered side by side.
I suppose "Avon was high." and "When the rebel forces of Carin IX finally managed to fish Avon out of the river, he was drenched to the bone." still amuse me (Spun Gold and Wet Towels, respectively).
20. Share your favorite ending line
Now I have to open all of them again, haha! Uh, let's do a not-Whumptober for once:
But lying curled up in the embrace of his most trusted companion, his link with and buffer against the world, Avon sometimes wondered whether it had been a curse at all. (The Price, from R&F #7)
21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue
Uh... spoiler for Impending Destiny, but I keep it vague and not post the whole thing?
“Whoever said that love is the most powerful force in the universe was a bloody liar,” Avon spat, “or a colossal fool. [....]"
22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene
Oh for... just... just read Impending Destiny, okay?
23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?
Oof, I guess the final lines of Mistaken Trust. It would have been so easy to just let them hug and kiss but Avon resisted and once that line was there I had to do something with it that didn't feel unkind to Vila in a plot that... wasn't kind to Vila. I think I managed the balance and once Avon had said no I didn't want to go back to the easy ending, but it wasn't easy to get right.
24. What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
... Impending Destiny. It was supposed to be a fix-it fic!!! It's... not a fix-it anymore. The shift was so striking that I made a tumblr post about it.
25. What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.)
Word and paper & pen, very occasionally a note app on my phone. All of the Whumptobers had a paper version before I typed them, but I've only written snippets of the longfic on paper. I enjoy not writing at a screen every now and then, but it *is* slower.
26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?
I don't know, because my writing has been so unevenly balanced (very slow but steady progress for most of the year and A LOT of writing in September/October). I suppose finishing the Whumptobers again? Or perhaps when I realised that the longfic was going to be longer than BDaS without it feeling forced.
27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?
No. Once the longfic is done, maybe I will.
28. How did you recharge between fics?
Recharge? What's that? Or rather: between fics? What's that? Hahah.
I know what I would have *liked* to do, which is read a fanfic once in a while, but there's not much new out there to my taste these days. I guess watching other shows counts. I have resorted to rewatching B7 as final measure.
29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?
The numerous people who kudosed, the few people who commented, @oxideblack for the incredible art and for the appreciation of my fics from their circle of fans, @quordleona03 for the inspiration, and @comarum and @foreignobjecticus who know why.
What’s something that you want to write in 2024?
Ah, it would be nice to finish the longfic this coming year. But I'm not making any plans. With how I feel about the sharing & posting, I'm counting it as a win if I don't lose my motivation entirely.
#jaelijn writes#jaelijn talks#if you came here wondering why you are tagged look at the bottom of the post hahah#untitled pgp longfic#just because i want this post in the record of that#read impending destiny lmao
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20 Author Questions
Shout-out to @the-frankenman-writes for the tag!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
4 - I actually only started publishing fics a little over a year ago and my main project has been a still-running longfic so I haven't been able to build up much of an archive thus far LOL.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
408,653. The longfic is a fucking TOME.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
At the moment, just Hellsing. I do intend to publish some Castlevania fanfiction soon, and I've got a couple of larger OC fics planned for Demon Slayer and My Hero Academia.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Guess I'm listing all my fics in order with an empty bottom slot, oopsie!
formulas fatal to the flesh - Alucard (Hellsing)/Transfemme Jewish Reader fic that also serves as the "pilot" for my OC longfic. I originally started writing this as a means of exploring my sexuality in the wake of HRT changing a lot of things about my desires whilst also issuing a love letter to my favorite series. Then everything got intense.
2. Interview With the Impaler - Alucard (Hellsing)/Transfemme Reader. This was me trying out some new ideas with how I write Alucard as well as just trying to contribute to the transfemme reader insert pool. It's really nice when you don't have to mentally change the genitals of the reader insert you're reading about to put yourself in their shoes and enjoy the fantasy, so I like providing more of it.
3. lesions of a different kind - Alucard Hellsing/Transfemme Jewish OC. My longfic, my baby, my first foray into long-form storytelling. She's choppy, she's unhinged, she's full of bigger ideas than I know what to do with, but damn it all, I'm having fun with her. This is the main story of Zemira Shani Makhabi, my homebrewed blorbo and shameless self-critique. She started out as a reader insert before I decided to turn her into a golem allegory full of meta commentary on what it means to relate to a fictional character. That, and so much BDSM shit like oh man so FUCKING much.
4. Operation: GREENHOUSE - Pip Bernadotte (Hellsing)/Zemira Shani Makhabi. In dead last, a fic involving a character who is unfortunately not very popular to write about, but I happen to find incredibly hot in his own right. Technically AU of an AU fic too? IDK man I just wanted to write steamy smut about these two because I thought their dynamic was fun bwahahaha
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Absolutely I do! They really motivate me to continue and I love connecting with people based on how they perceive my work.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
MWEHEHEHEHE that'd be Interview With the Impaler. I used the Mean Alucard tag for a reason. I may continue this story yet tbh, because I could make it ever angstier.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Operation: GREENHOUSE. Just ends with those two snuggling and teasing each other. Easy shit.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I'm extremely lucky to have never gotten a mean comment and hope it never happens.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
LITERALLY EVERYTHING I WRITE IS SMUT BWAHAHAHAHA I lean heavy on a few tropes - maledom/femsub shit, mind break/hypnosis/heat/etc, and a constant obsession with men's hands. Hands in general, tbh, I get really horny about hands.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've never published a crossover but I like the idea of one. I would need to find two series which I REALLY wanted to compare and contrast.
11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?
None that I know of
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
See above
13. Have you ever co-writtten a fic before?
Nothing that's published, but a pal of mine and I are cooking something cool up rn... You know who you are.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
ALUTEGRA BAYBEEEEEEEEEEE my beloved genderfuck angst-fest full of questions about monstrosity vs. humanity and forbidden desires and old souls and and and and look do you know how hard it is to have an OTP that literally never touch in the original series
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't have any right now but I live in constant fear I'll wake up one day without the drive to finish Lesions. That would make me so sad.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I can write really visceral gore and snappy action scenes, I can construct a layered character like a motherfucker, and I'm pretty damn good at dialogue, I think.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
OOF. Plot. Fucking PACING. I feel like my stories can sometimes feel like super compelling personalities flopping about in a sandbox. Which can work, for some cases, but I try to deliver on the promise of a compelling plot.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
It really depends. I've seen writers do it with tags for the translated words? It seems to work best for small, potent exchanges.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I think this honor actually goes to Pokemon. I was doing a Nuzlocke comic once upon a time!
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
Probably Lesions, thus far, lol
Tags: @neet0 @rotten-hearts-sharp-teeth @brunette-barbie42
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20 Questions For Writers
I was tagged by the ever-so-lovely @bilbosmom-belladonna! Thank you so much! (Also, dialogue really is one of your strengths! Your conversations are always wonderful to read!)
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 14, which is more than I thought!
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 89,607
3. What fandoms do you write for? Mainly Star Wars - Particularly The Clone Wars. I have done a couple of crossover Sequel trilogy/His Dark Materials a few years back!
Click to see the rest so I don't take over your dash!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Whole (SW Sequel trilogy/His Dark Materials)
Sleepwalking (SW Sequel trilogy/His Dark Materials)
Rey (SW Sequel trilogy/His Dark Materials)
The Recruit (SW legends - Jangobi)
Finding (SW Sequel trilogy/His Dark Materials)
5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! Not always quickly, but yes!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Tired - It's literally about suicide.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Honestly, I think The Tattooist wins this.
8. Do you get hate on fics? No, thankfully!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have NEVER actually written smut! The closest I've gotten is writing someone masturbating! I don't think there's any real reason why. I tend to do the whole *hinted* or fades to black - I think I've made myself nervous I can't write it well now lol!
10. Do you write crossovers? I have! I love crossing basically everything with His Dark Materials for daemon fun. I do prefer taking elements from other worlds rather than crossing characters tbf.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I certainly wouldn't mind!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I think I would struggle with this in all honesty!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? You can tear Cloud/Sephiroth from my cold, dead fingers.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gratuitous Clone Wars Wingfic AU - I'd love to write it up properly but it is LITERALLY just gratuitous justification to give the clones wings...
16. What are your writing strengths? I think emotion? I enjoy writing feelings.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I don't plan or outline - I am very much a "fly by the seat of my pants" writer - I usually have a general idea of where I want to end up but sometimes lose steam/get stuck in the weeds of the middle.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm with the OP on this - a smattering of words is fine, but I'd rather just make it clear that people are speaking in a different language and have it in English - unless the audience is not supposed to understand either.
19. First fandom you wrote for? OH LORD. I THINK it may have been Cardcaptor Sakura? This is back in my fanfiction.net days... It was all about a "shadow" clow deck - because I was emo as fook.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Honestly, The Ballad of The Guard - It's proven to me that I CAN write longfic, rather than just one shots. And I'm really just enjoying exploring the slow descent into darkness aspect. It's sped up a fair bit lately though!
I shall throw this out there, mainly because I end up tagging people who don't want to do it and then feel bad lol! If you want to do it, feel free to take a tag from me!
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20 Questions
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 10 works.
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 131,856
3. What fandoms do you write for? Only Zelda right now, but I have done stuff for Evangelion and Teen Titans in the past! Also looking to add a Shingeki no Kyojin piece in there soon.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Reverdie (413), Fragmentation (290), After the Rain (200), Tacet (188) and Finding and Keeping (175)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always! I'm very greatful for folks taking the time to read and comment on my stuff. It really means a lot to me, so I like to show my gratitude in the comments.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ooof uhhhh like none? I think I did some themed one-shots that were downers but like...I really can't bring myself to end on angsty notes.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They all end happy, but I think Love Stayed With Me has to be the happiest by default because [TOTK ending spoilers here]
8. Do you get hate on fics? Thankfully, no! It would be okay if I did, though. Like whatever, a hater isn't paying for my service so I wouldn't really care if they were wasting their energy in my comments section.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes! It depends on the situation, really. I'm a big fan of smut that is sort of exploratory and almost innocent, where two characters are exploring these feelings with one another and discovering that bliss for the first time. But on the other hand...I am like, beyond ready to write Link getting pegged LMFAO. I'm not too picky about smut.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? No... I don't think I have. I think I planned one when I was like 13 but I can't remember the fandoms or anything.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Have had stuff reposted without my permission on other sites, but my name was still attached to it. So like...not entirely stolen haha. No one reposted under a different author's name.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I WOULD LOVE THIS
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yesssss! Currently worked on A Song of Storms with @deiliamedlini!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I really think Zelink takes the cake for me. I've never simped so hard for a ship. I love how they are cosmically entwined, soulmates which can come in really lovely, heartfelt forms, or angsty, miserable forms. They aren't limited by one iteration. gOD.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? As much as I wish I could, I don't think a longfic is in the cards for me. I'm frankly not creative enough to keep the momentum up ;_;. Maybe if the right inspo hit. But at this point I write shorter things and I don't expect to not finish them at some point, even if they take a while to crank out.
16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think that I have strong ideas on characterizations, and that the prose carries the ideas that I'm trying to convey. (Particularly about Zelink.) I love the poetic imagery for them and enjoy metaphoers and loooove religious imagery for them as well.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Absolutely fucking plot and also finding the balance between like, wanting langauge to be flowery and not overdoing it. I am always tearing my hair out over it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Oh I'm very down lol
19. First fandom you wrote for? I think would have been Teen Titans when I was like 12.
20. Favorite fic you've ever written? UGHHHHH I don't know, maybe Reverdie because it was so music inspired? And I loooooove writing pining Link and the sexual tension between them. Part of me actually thinks about rewriting that and making it longer, dragging it out even more than just 4 chapters, but I think that's me being sadistic haha. Love Stayed With Me was also so personal to me because it was crafted sort of in real time with playing TOTK. And of course has all my own personal baggage tied into it.
THIS WAS FUN THANKS FOR TAGGING ME @zellink! I'll tag @deiliamedlini @wanderingnightingale @itcantbe @softlessly and anyone else who wants to do it!
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So, Blue Blood is finished. And,,,, I have a lot of feelings about it.
Let me tell you a story! Six months ago, I decided to open up and engage with tumblr for the first time in almost three years. It was a random evening, I was bored and had nothing to do, so I decided to see what was going on in the world that had once consumed my life, but which had been absent from it for quite some time. Almost immediately (a testament to how well past me curated my blog) I came across a gifset from Kinnporsche. Can’t remember what it was of, but it appealed to me enough that I hunted the show down on a whim and put it on.
And then my entire life changed.
I’m not being dramatic, I’m genuinely serious. I used to waste my days playing phone games and watching TV because I had gotten out of using my computer and accessing fandom, but after I watched Kinnporsche, I literally put down my phone and forgot about it so hard I literally broke it accidentally and have gone without one for five months. I reactivated my tumblr from its longtime slumber, I created a twitter for the first time ever, I logged into ao3 for the first time in almost two years, and I stepped into fandom with the burning passion of a woman who’s entire life had been consumed. Because this show made me feel more than any show I have ever watched has made me feel, more than any other piece of media has ever made me feel. I have never been so emotionally enraptured by a fictional relationship, one which was enriched by the most sensual and stimulating sex scenes I’ve ever seen captured on film, one which played into all of my interests like it had been tailor made for me. I have never been so intrigued by the potential of a plot or world. I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. I could never ever in a million years have prepared myself for it; to hope for something even close to a pale shade of what we got would have felt unreasonable before. And yet, Kinnporsche exists. Despite all reason, logic and odds, Kinn and Porsche exist. And I found it, while it was still airing at that, and got to participate in one of the most exciting and enrapturing tv show experiences I’ll probably ever have in my life.
Maybe it was in part due to the euphoria of the impossible happening, or maybe it was simply the novelty of experiencing passion for a creative IP for the first time in years, or maybe it was the enthusiasm of the community I found and the ability to connect with people again, but something fundamentally shifted in me because of this show, and not just in what I did in my spare time. A creative spirit I had not felt in years came roaring to life in me with an unholy vengeance the likes of which I have truly never experienced before. My generally poor mental health, which had numbed me for so long, was drowned out for days at a time by the most intense and compelling feelings of excitement and anticipation and adoration and obsession and fixation I’ve felt probably ever felt, a literally perfect cocktail of emotions that reactivated something long dormant in my mind. It left me inspired, more than I have ever been in my life– my ao3 can serve as proof! My greatest achievement before had been writing 50,000 words in a single year. I wrote that much within the first month and a half of watching the show. I went from averaging 12,000 words over 3 years to 200,000 in 6 months.
My point is, Kinnporsche was entirely unprecedented in my life, and it changed me down to my marrow. It made me capable of writing in a way I have never, ever been able to before. And that was why I found myself in the position of entertaining the idea of a longfic for the first time in *years*.
Some important context: I have never finished anything. I’ve been writing creatively since I was old enough to hold a pencil, dreaming about the stories I would one day tell, but the idea of ever being able to actually finish one? That sort of achievement felt out of reach all of my life. I just wasn’t good enough, and I was certain that I never would be. So thinking about writing a longfic so soon after taking up writing again really felt like a risky, no good idea. I promised myself I wouldn’t, not unless the idea was so good it just HAD to be attempted. Something genuinely exceptional.
It was a series of cascading coincidences that led me to Blue Blood. First, a particular photo of Apo with eyeliner. Then, a series of meta posts investigating the potential darkness of Kinn’s character. Finally, joining a discord server of people who were excited by and receptive of the initial ideas that intrigued me: fighter!porsche and dark mafia!Kinn. It was a perfect storm. And fuck me if it didn’t make me feel really, really excited by it. So I did the improbable: I started to plan.
One of my problems has always been that I start something without knowing how to finish it. I set off before I have the destination in mind, hoping to somehow figure it out along the way, but inevitably run out of steam and, without an ending in sight, the process feels hopeless. But I was determined not to do this for Blue Blood. So I comprehensively planned out the entire arc of the fic, and gave myself as much structure as I could (as I’ve told a few people, Blue Blood boils down to a 5+1 fic in structure. It’s 5 fights plus the final boss showdown(altho I only had to write 5 total cos I did a cheeky). And I really, really fucking liked it. It felt really fucking tangible. Writing the first chapter, after that, was the easiest thing in the world. Genuinely, chapter one was one of the most fun writing experiences I’ve ever had, it just fucking poured out of me. And the reception to it was amazing; the number of people who took a chance on the first chapter of a WIP, on a dark fic one at that, truly thrilled and excited me. So we were off to a good start.
But Blue Blood wouldn’t remain mine alone.
I picked up @kissporsche sometime after the first chapter, but before the second. We had exchanged a few random messages on tumblr, and they seemed like a really cool person, so when I wanted someone to take a look at my work I thought of them. All I wanted, initially, was someone to beta what I’d written and maybe give me a few encouraging comments. I sent her the doc, and waited to hear back. And what I got blew me the fuck away. I’ve had beta’s before, but never one who so comprehensively attacked the editing process, in such a way that I genuinely felt was perfectly targeted to identifying my weaknesses and expanding on my strengths. And not just that, but she was excited to just *talk* to me about it, she was excited for me to bounce ideas off of her and explore difficulties with her and just generally bitch about whatever with her. And she was more than open to the idea of working on the next chapter. And maybe the one after that.
Before I knew it my usually solitary and isolated experience writing fic was just a thing of the past. I suddenly had someone who would not only listen to my every random thought or concern I had, but who would genuinely encourage them and do the same right back at me. It was fucking INCREDIBLE. As a person who lives for feedback, I found myself writing things just to be able to send them to kissporsche for her edits and reactions. I found myself driven, almost supernaturally, to produce content just so we could pour over it together and explore it. It changed everything. It *was* everything.
Kissporsche is responsible for so many, many parts of this fic. From being instrumental in determining key plot factors, to being the reason for the switching POV’s, to being the saving grace of Porsche’s characterisation, to instigating and perpetuating the presence of Vegaspete, to fixing up my many grammatical errors and word repetitions, to encouraging me through hard times, to cheering for me through easy times, to being a voice of reason during the dark times. For being a friend when I needed one, a voice of love and support, one that cut through and silenced the worst of my insecurities. For being someone I could turn to for whatever I needed, for being someone who made me feel competent and capable, for being someone who I could rely on. For being someone who opened up to me and let me in and gave me nothing but love and acceptance and validation in return. There aren’t many people out there in the world like you, and I want you to know that I appreciate that fact. I know how lucky I am.
There were times when it was fucking hard and I struggled, and I thought very bleakly about the future of this fic. But never once, not even for a second, did I truly feel that I was going to abandon it. I couldn’t. I had someone waiting for me, with genuine and loud excitement, to carry on. And so I did. I carried on and I carried on and I carried on and then, all of a sudden, it was almost over. And I had nearly done it. *We* had nearly done it.
These last few weeks have been truly fucking insane. We’ve spent a lot of time losing our shit over the fact that it’s getting closer and closer to it being over. To it being finished. And now we’re finally here, we’re actually fucking finally here, at the final page. At the end. And it just feels surreal! It feels like a dream. It’s finished.
Blue Blood is finished.
I’m proud of us! I’m proud of myself. I’m damn fucking proud of myself for writing this fic. I’m proud of the plot, I’m proud of the characters, I’m proud of the world, and I’m fucking proud of finishing it. I’ve proven to myself that it’s possible, that I’m capable, and it feels like an entire world of possibility has opened up as a result. Who knows what I might write next?
I know this was a lot, but it feels important to me to mark this event with such an introspective post, because I want to remember everything about this. I want to come back years from now and re-read this and remember exactly what it was like, exactly how it felt. And I want all of you to know what it meant. This fic has changed my life, as dramatic as that sounds. It has fundamentally changed me in more ways than I can really express. It will always be my first.
But not my last 😏
#blue blood#hoo boy this is quite a lot#but every damn word comes from my soul motherfuckers#its the end of an era#and i had to say goodbye properly
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The Lucemond Arranged Marriage AU sounds really interesting, would you consider actually writing it? It would be great to have something political and non omegaverse for a change of pace in the fandom
ahhh i am so sorry but i only ever write one longfic within one given fandom 😅
mostly because there's too much overlap between the characters. for example, if i wrote the lucemond au, at least 60% of the characterizations/headcanons/etc. would be complete reiterations of what i've already written in stormbreak. i'd have to re-establish all of the baggage and background that i've spent tens of thousands of words establishing in stormbreak, all over again, and i'd have to make it different from the first time around. it's a pain in the ass to think of a better/different way to phrase something when you've already found your favorite way of phrasing it!
so the idea of actually writing another substantial work within this fandom isn't super exciting to me; i like untangling the puzzles that are characters the first time around, but beyond that the excitement isn't really there for me and i know i wouldn't have the motivation to do the prompt justice.
that being said, while i won't be writing a fully-fleshed-out fic for this au, i'm happy to answer any and all asks about it (or other aus) and if anyone would like to take inspiration from my ideas, please just ask me and i'll say yes! and idk maybe one day i'll write snippets from it and post them as more of a series or disjointed work.
#ask#asks#answered#hotd#house of the dragon#lucemond#lucerys velaryon#lucerys strong#luke velaryon#luke strong#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#aemond
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Please tell me your opinions on bungou stray dogs! Fav character? Least fav character? Fav ship? Plot points? Do you think you’ll write for it? Love your stuff!!
Hi hi anon!
Favourite character is Dazai Osamu!
I don't have a least favourite, tbh, although the idea of Bottom!Chuuya just makes me cringe. It's not for me.
Favourite ship is Soukoku! (Chuuya/Dazai - and Dazai is never the top)
As for the plot points, hmm, I got a bit bored with some of the later arcs despite there being some really amazing moments during those arcs? That's when I actually really dropped off from the manga and I need to get back into it again.
I love the storylines to do with Dazai and Chuuya the most though :D
I don't know if I'll ever write for it, there's a lot of really good Chuuya/Dazai out there (even if top!Chuuya is the minority). Dgalerab is my favourite author in the fandom, and while he's not writing anymore for it, what he's written hits my hurt/comfort and kink buttons well enough that I feel no desire right now to write anything of my own.
I did have an idea to write a longfic for that fandom, but I made the mistake of sharing the idea, and someone else wrote it instead. That was kind of depressing for me at the time, and it's been hard for me to actually want to write for the fandom (I don't share my ideas for fics anymore, lol, because it was at that point an idea that hadn't been written in the fandom, and it's silly to feel that way, but I just wanted to be the first one to write it because it was my idea - like no one owns an idea, but this person also would never have written this fic if I hadn't talked about my idea in some detail first - which was my mistake!)
#asks and answers#personal#i love dazai and chuuya the most#also a huge fan of fyodor's seiyuu#after he was kikuhiku in Rakugo#i find sigma really interesting#and i like fukuzawa and ranpo a ton too
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