#this has been on my mind since the early 2020s but it's not the type of thread you can really post to the bird site
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I saw someone on the bird website point out that just because people disagree with a fellow fan doesn't give them the right to bully or harass said fan, especially in such cruel ways (they were body shaming a well known Overwatch person because she shared a selfie, and the hate originated from her opinions on the character).
It's been driving me crazy how people somehow forgot you can disagree with someone's opinions without being an asshole. Why do we condemn bigotry or cruelty when it's directed at our friends, but hurl it out ourselves when opportunity arises to bash someone we dislike? It just makes me so sad.
This isn't about a specific situation but it's a problem i've noticed over the years. I have been both a perpetrator and a victim of this (if I said otherwise, I'd be a liar. I've been on the internet since I was 10 and have been active in multiple fandoms), but I don't want to contribute whatsoever to that type of environment anymore. We have to talk the talk and walk the walk with this one, or we will continue to be miserable. If you dislike something or someone, either communicate if this person is supposed to matter to you or vice versa, or just block them, mute them, unfollow them. Whichever suits your comfort level for whatever the situation may be. If you hate something or someone but still proceed to follow them, check their profile, and grab screenshots or QRTs to make fun of them, whether with petty jabs or actual bigotry and cruelty, you are not only making other people into targets. You are sending yourself into a spiral that will only harm you in the long run.
I know how addicting social media can be. I know how the instant gratuitous relief can feel when you vent about something within an echo chamber. And I don't think the answer is just don't vent, don't misconstrue my words. I think the answer is does this make you happy? I don't think this type of habit makes anyone happy. I know sometimes people change, and I really hope people can and do.
I don't say this as an accusation or to be mean myself, I say this as someone who suffered on my own end, not only from taking the brunt of harassment but also from indulging it on occasion. I used to be horrible about this type of fixation on things I hated within fandom during my prime days in my earliest tumblr fandoms, and I nearly fell into this trap again over the past few years. My irl situation was entering a state of despair, and during those times, without anyone trustworthy that shared these spaces with me and that knew me well in return, fandom felt like the one place where I had a semblance of control. That doesn't excuse belittling people. It never does. A reason is not justification.
It's a special type of hell, for example from my personal experience, to receive dozens of suibait anons about fanfic you published, whether it was from things I left blatantly tagged and easily avoidable, over my writing not being as good as others' within these spaces, or because people admitted they were envious of something outside of my control. Or people making fun of my cosplay photos or treating me as an object to be sexualized, no matter who they were or how they identified. I had old Retrospring anons sent that exploited my vulnerability regarding events only certain groups knew about, trying me during my worst of times. When I vaguely discussed them on other websites, without sharing things being said to protect myself and to not spread drama, I was largely told I was overreacting and to just delete them. Which I did, but they kept coming. I deleted anonymous ways of contacting me and closed off most forms of contact with fandoms other than a few long running places I've known for years (thank you WWD crew you guys are the GOAT). But even so. If I didn't have the person who is now my wife there for me at the right time, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Not everyone experiencing this type of thing has anyone there for them at all.
I have a tendency to ramble, so I'll summarize here: the only type of toxicity that will ever bring people joy is toxic yaoi, toxic yuri, Toxic by Britney Spears, and the Toxic TM from Pokemon. I want to get better myself, and I'm posting this because I hope for the best for anyone who read this. If you disagree with me for this, that's okay too. If you don't think this applies to you, it might not! I don't know you. None of us know each other, which I think should be further incentive to be kind, instead of ample opportunity to be mean. If you have the choice, strive to be kind over the escapism that brings us joy. For some of us, this will be the only kindness we may ever know.
#parker says things#this has been on my mind since the early 2020s but it's not the type of thread you can really post to the bird site#the character limit and the culture of ratios and QRTing for clout means this would hardly reach anyone#a majority of 2022 was one of the worst times of my life. I'm thankful I'm alive#I just hope for the best for everyone#things will get better but we also have to work to be better#and to be a bit more self aware#steeping in misery will only make the misery stronger and that took ages to realize for myself#long post#but yes pls don't misconstrue a specific origin for this post. It was about people harassing Mercy mains. Yes. That Mercy#my 2024 resolution is to be even kinder to people even if I dislike them#or especially if I dislike them. idk why them liking something I hate is relevant to them being a good or bad person#if I fall into that mindset I'm no better than the people who harass me or my friends either
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Bi-han sunshine reader Head cannons
Requested by @livingdeadgirly
Bi han is by no means the type of man you would describe as empathetic. In fact, he sees it as a form of weakness; to allow the weakness of others to cloud your own judgment. That was however until a certain little weasel clawed and wiggled its way into his life.
Bi han has a hard time with physical touch despite it being his preferred love language. So, he secretly really appreciates it when you choose to initiate contact.
PDA is an absolute no. Sorry, all my touch starved mutuals, unless you are in the privacy of your own home, you are being treated like it's 2020 covid.
-Bi han why are you standing all the way over there?
-Do not speak to me in public Harlot!
I promise he spent the next two days making it up to you.
As cruel as he can be in public towards you, he doesn't mean any of it. Truthfully, though he would never admit it, you were changing him.
Since being with you, he was less angry, he scowled less. Don't ever point this out to him though. He will give you the cold shoulder for the rest of the week. (heh)
Based on his character model, it's essentially cannon that he does not take care of himself, at least with all the acne scars he has. You've made it a point to force him to sit down and let you wash and moisturize his face.
This is by far his favorite thing about you. The way you hold his face softer than anyone has ever held him before. As if he were porcelain, not because you thought him to be weak, but because he was precious.
Bi han is very much the jealous type and isn't a big fan of you being around most of the Lin Kuei. He won't lock you in the house or anything, but he does have a habit of sulking on days you go out.
Your energy and enthusiasm are absolutely infectious among the Lin Kuei. A refreshing change of pace in the cold and disciplined Artik (home of the Lin Kuei).
You will often speak with members of the Lin Kuei in the early mornings, bringing them a light air and break from their responsibilities. That is, until Bi han catches sight of them uncomfortably close to his chosen partner and makes them carry out grunt work for the remainder of the day.
Your first time meeting his brothers was a particularly memorable event for everyone but you.
It had been unlike Bi han to call his brothers for a dinner, much less so one that appeared so formal, but Kuai Liang and Tomas would attend none the less.
Little did they know, they were only called after months of you pestering Bi han to introduce you to them. And after a particularly good night.... he caved.
To say they were shocked would be an understatement. Bi han finding a partner would have been a miracle in itself, but YOU. You who gushed over Bi han the entire night, you who refused to sit until you had bear hugged each of the brothers and nearly dragged them down into their seats. You who was completely oblivious to the fact that Bi han didn't speak a word that entire night, too distracted with sharing your love for their brother for the whole world to see.
Bi han did almost speak once in that dinner, when Kuai Liang made a passing comment on how you were more similar to Tomas than anyone.... Bi han did not like that. He had half a mind to lay into his brother then and there, verbally and physically. But your sinister little giggle and cheerful mood would be so easily trampled if he had.
Instead, he chose to stand abruptly dragging you home and leave his brothers to foot the bill. Safe to say you got it that night. But who were you kidding you loved it. You loved him, flaws and all <3
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What is going on with Jimin, Jungkook and Jikook?
Warning: long post
I've been a BTS fan since early 2017. Back in the day, I ran this blog here, analyzing a lot of Jikook moments, but life sort of took over, and I stopped having the time for it. However, I never stopped being a fan and observing BTS and Jikook through the years. There's a lot said and written already about the supposed video of JK, but here are my two cents.
To me, the most logical explanation for that video is that this really is Jungkook. The layout of the apartment matches (yes, even the position of the security system, if you have ever watched JKs lives, you'd know that it actually is at his shoulder height, just like in the video), the dog looks like Bam, the couch is the same and this definitely looks like JK. There's also another video of the man in this apartment, alone, shirtless, and having a whole tattoo sleeve on his right arm just like JK. Obviously, we don't know for sure, but it looks like it's him. People say it was filmed in late Feb, early March, and I agree. JK had the same hair then, the outfits look warm, like winter clothes and not to forget, that when JK was stalked in his gym (late of February) there were a lot of fuss about a girl being there with him, so it all checks out in my book.
Now, what the video shows isn't that scandalous. A boy hugging a girl from behind and them playfighting/tickling each other or whatever. It isn't overly explicit. It could mean a lot of things, but it's clear the people are at the very least physically comfortable with each other. It's a short video. We don't know if they're even alone, but it looks like it. There are a number of possibilities for whom this person is to JK: a long-time girlfriend, a casual hook-up, a one night stand, or just a friend.
We'll probably never know for sure. What we do know is that this is an unacceptable invasion of privacy, and the person who took those videos should be sued for all they are worth. I hope we all agree on that, yes?
Now, if this girl is someone JK is dating/has dated/has slept with, where does that leave his and JM's relationship?
In my eyes, as someone who's observed them for literal years now, there's no way JM and JK have always had a strictly platonic relationship. Too much just doesn't add up. Sure, technically, they could be bestest friends with great chemistry, but as someone who is now 30 years old, I don't think I've seen this type of chemistry between people ever be just platonic. At times, it looked too much like sexual tension for it to easily be dubbed as "friendly".
My theory is this (keep in mind these are still just assumptions):
In 2017-2020, pre-Covid era, JM and JK spent A LOT of time together, basically all of it. BTS were super active, they didn't have any breaks. They were always working. Always on tour and doing smth else. JM and JK were pretty young back then (20-24) and this is typically the time when someone discovers their sexuality and starts experimenting, and I believe that at some point they did this together. They were best friends but also had this weird tension and air around them and I think they could've started a physical relationship back then. The members teasing them hear and there about being a couple, also kind of supports this, though of course, it doesn't prove anything.
Contrary to other people, I don't belive they only just fucked. It's very hard to have sex with someone who you are very close to otherwise, who you love and admire as a person, and not catch romantic feelings for them, so I think they did more than fucking. Whether they had a serious relationship or decided not to label it much, due to MS coming up, the group being in jeopardy or other reasons, I tend to think that other than sex, they also had feelings.
Side note: In any case, they were figuring thinks out about themselves as individuals, as well as a pair. I think maybe this is the time JM realized he is definitely bisexual (which he proudly expressed in his photobook of last year in my opinion). Idk what Jk figured out for himself, if anything.
Anyhow, by 2020‐2021 it seemed they had some sort of agreement about what/who they were to each other. At times they could have been on and off. There might have been other people/partners in-between, but I think they were mainly together by this point. It even looked like they lived together for some time. The fact they always took the same car and they were together on JKs birthday night when they first had number 1 on hot 100 sort of proves it. JM's birthday live in 2021 was also sus af (the way he was blushing while mentioning JK and their whole convos, very sus).
I think before Covid they had smth somewhat stable but then Covid hit. Their schedules changed, it was a tough period overall. Suddenly, they were not working and traveling so much, they were staying in SK. I think this was the time things started getting much more real and different. MS was also in the near horizon. Maybe one of them wanted a more committed relationship, and the other wasn't ready. Maybe they were both afraid. Maybe they tried and it didn't really work out. Maybe one finally realized his sexuality and the other had doubs. Whatever it was, the feelings of affection were still there. Chemistry as well. Proof: JM bday live in 2021 was just crazy, the way he blushed when JK was mentioned and the way the spoke to each other... man. Also, the way the were at PTD L.A. The way JK answered questions about JM etc.
So , all that connected them as people was still there, but I think their relationship come late 2021-early 2022 was definitely more unstable. Who knows what happened then. Personally, I don't believe in the theory that they opened their relationship, rather I believe by the second half of 2022, due to whatever reasons, things were simple mostly off between them. I believe they stayed this way all through the second half of the year and at least the first 4 months of 2023. They were friends, their families still loved and supported each other (JK's mom made seaweed soup for JM's bday, which one does for family) but that's about it. They weren't living together anymore, as well.
The beginning of 2023 we saw a very busy JM and a very not busy JK. Sure, they still commented on their welives but it seemed they didn't meet each other that often. Jm was working, JK was at home and occasionally with Tae. Yeah, JK watched a lot of JM content and often invited him over, but he also didn't know when his promotions will be over and it seemed they haven't seen each other for some time and JK was missing JM. I think if they truly were a serious couple back then, they would still have found the time to meet each other no matter how busy one or the other was, especially considering they live in the same city, and it wasnt the case. I don't think JK would have to resort to watching hours of JM's content just to satisfy his need-for-JM thirst, if they were a couple back then.
So, yeah, I think they were not more than friends by this point, for sure, which also ties up pretty well with the timing of the recent leaked video (February-March). To me it seems that JK and JM probably saw other people in that period, at least JK, JM was pretty damn busy then. Maybe they had some serious partners even, maybe just hook-ups here and there. Maybe this was JK's time to explore more of his heterosexual side, who knows. I don't think he stopped caring for JM in some capacity. In fact it kind of looked like he longed for his company but for one reason or another, they were simply not that much in each other's lives in the first quarter of 2023.
But then something weird happened around June-July. First JM is all scratched up from something (presumably Bam) indicating he saw JK and spent time with him. Then Seven came out and JM flew to NY. There they spend a long, fun weekend amid promotions. It wasn't a secret but they seemed to want to keep private and didn't really want to talk about it , judging by the way JK answered the question about JM being in NY as well. JM was practically silent. Then they returned and that welive happened. The one where they openly flirted, JM said he could handle JK naked, JK blushed like a school girl and tried everything in his power to get to JM but JM said "I'm not that easy". That welive. Idk about you, but that welive didn't seem platonic to me at all and if I had been JK's partner at the time, I would definitely be very angry with his behaviour. I don't think JK is disrespectful and a cheater, and neither is JM for that matter, so I believe there's no way any of them had a partner when that welive happened. I simply refuse to belive they are that type of people.
So, my conclusion is they were both single then and something definitely happend in July and NY. They returned somewhat different and they still kind of are. Jk posted pics of NY to Twitter for the first time. Jm shared a pic from then for JKs bday (shirtless, as we all know) and then recently another pic from a boat that could have been from back then, as well. The whole way they're acting offline and online strangely reminds me a lot of the time after their trip to Tokyo, actually. The way JM has been posting about JK very much give me nostalgia about the way he used to post Jikook often in 2017-2018 before he withdrew from social media. But maybe that's just me 🤷♀️
Anyway, to finish this long post I will say this. I don't know what Jikook were and are to each other and unless, it is explicitly denied the person in the video is JK, I will believe that it's him. But also, unless it is confirmed he currently has a girlfriend, I will have my doubts. The video is old and in any case, it doesn't prove much other than the fact JK is maybe into women (solely or also into them). This video though doesn't automatically negate everything I've seen between Jikook through the years. In some ways, it confirms what I've been thinking for a long time now. Unless JM and JK personally shut down any rumors about them and deny any romantic connection or confirm a relationship with someone else , I still believe that at some point in their lived their relationship crossed the platonic line.
Whether that was in the past or is currently true, I only can guess, but to me there's no way these two were always, all these years, just only friends.
For now, I will observe how JK, JM and Hybe are acting after the leaked videos and go from there. It will also be indicative.
Peace.
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I said before, now that Cait Corrain’s true self has come out, I can finally elaborate on what happened with her. To put a long story short, I was one of her very first victims - long before she became an original fiction author and back when she was known as Enterprisingly on AO3 - the author of Play to Win.
I know that #reviewbombgate was back in December, but at the time, I did not know about it because I’m not involved in BookTok. However, I WAS involved with the Reylo fandom, albeit indirectly.
The final chapters of Play to Win went on a tangent that seemed bizarre to me at the time. In fact, it seemed so strange that I brushed it off almost completely. It was only when I found Play to Win’s Wayback Machine page after recalling memories of the Reylo fandom last year when I read the chapter properly (instead of skipping ahead to get to the Reylo scenes). And a proper reading made me realize what was so unnerving about it:
Anyone who has engaged with my blog (especially from 2015-2019, when I used to post a lot more content about my personal life) can see the strangely... specific way this character was described. In order to go into this level of depth, one has to have been following me intently and keeping tabs of all the personal things I posted.
And then, she goes from eerily specific descriptions, to straight up maliciously lying about me:
Keep in mind, this screed takes up an ENTIRE chapter in itself. Said character, Ejya Fjord, is a background NPC who is mentioned a total of 121 times in a 161,000 word story. In fact, her name is mentioned so little that you could be forgiven for not remembering her at all:
You'd think, if someone would do something like this, I had to have done something terrible to her, or even just gave her a negative review. But I never did.
As you can see here, I have only engaged positively with her. Since Play to Win was also taken down and you can’t see old comments on Wayback Machine. Unfortunately after this, I can only give my word without receipts.
Play to Win was published first in 2018. I reviewed her story in March of 2018, possibly even earlier. In my review, I praised the writing, worldbuilding, and dialogues, but gave a small constructive criticism in that the politics could be better integrated into the story without feeling disjointed.
In the very early chapters, Ejya was clearly intended to be 100% Swedish - as one can tell from the name. However, at some point in the later half of the story, she retroactively became mixed race and a rival for Ben's affections, while Ben seems to be having none of it. It's clear these choices were made to portray me as some kind of horny fangirl for Kylo Ren who will stomp on other girls for his sake:
When I read the last chapter first, I was horrified. But now I'm just... bemused that someone would ever see me as some kind of calculating vixen who dresses like a Euphoria high school student and only likes masculine hobbies to pick up dudes. When in reality it took me until 2020 to be able to type the word "sex" without having heart attack and have never so much as posted a selfie on here.
It's also funny that Ejya is petite and flat chested while my actual body type is the exact opposite... which she would know since she stalked my blog so thoroughly. Almost as though she's implying something about her own insecurities...
Initially, I was under the impression that Corrain targeted me because of my association with @ainomica - due to her ruffling the Reylo fandom’s feathers (and ending up on Corrain’s hit list) over her opinions on John Boyega. However, that controversy happened in 2020. When Corrain wrote this libel about me, @ainomica wasn’t even on her radar, not to mention it was a year before we had ever even met. This libel was done to target me, and me exclusively.
In essence - Corrain weaved libel about me into her story because my existence pissed her off. We know now that Corrain had a penchant for targeting sapphic authors and WOC almost exclusively. So it's safe to say she was just being a typical white saviour liberal who shows what she actually thinks of minorities when they don't toe the line.
While this does make her less unhinged in my eyes than using me to target someone else, it still means that Corrain was, and always has been capable of aggression towards anyone she’s remotely offended by. Especially if said person happens to be a minority of some kind.
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I miss iwaoi so much like if someone asked why the heckie do I love this ship so much I don't think I can answer it but just LOOK at them. they've canonically been together ever since the two were toddlers, grew up and went to the same middle school and by then iwaizumi was already the go-to oikawa expert, her knew his fake smiles from real ones, knew when he was gonna lose his cool and just hit kageyama (my poor son) but he also knew Oikawa would regret that and it wasn't the real him. they're in highschool and before anything even happens , iwaizumi knows what's oikawa's thought process, calls him shittykawa but. Also CANONICALLY calls him pretty boy all the time and oikawa blushes. he's probably got that compliment so many times and every time iwaizumi uses it he's probably insulting him or trying to tease him. but. Oikawa still. Blushes from it (haikyuu chapter and haikyuu BU) then when they lose the match with karasuno it's iwaizumi who walks home with oikawa and he knows oikawa is thinking. he'll never be truly happy and iwaizumi knows
But oikawa is also. Leaving for Argentina and iwaizumi is leaving for California (btw the recent magazine interview extra thing furudate did has iwaizumi admitting he wasn't gonna. Fall behind oikawa. So iwaizumi deciding to study abroad was also influenced by him) iwaizumi knows he's gotta get rid of oikawa's doubts right then and there. so he does. he calls oikawa the absolute best setter. iwaizumi is literally biased oikawa is the best setter. even during the early episodes where oikawa says kageyama is better than him it pissed iwaizumi of. and even after YEARS iwaizumi says in the interview that oikawa is the best setter ever. he will never move from that claim.
Now talking about them on court. “physically and mentally linked” and to have kageyama tobio of all people point that out. kageyama who's always only focused on everything volleyball related. and shoyo related. he really exposed iwaoi in front of the whole court saying. Whenever in doubt oikawa San will always end up setting to iwaizumi San. what an insane ass dynamic to havE. Iwaoi are also. Canonically telepathic they're literally reading each other's minds . iwaizumi thinking to himself “i gotta use that line some day, as long as I'm here blah blah” and oikawa responding with JUST WHEN WILL U USE THAT? he reads iwas mind. that one haikyuu bu chapter where oikawa loses his voice and iwaizumi becomes his interpreter. literally reads his mind and tells what's up. and that other bu chapter where iwaizumi asks oikawa to bark so he barks. iwaoi being 12 hours apart (in Japan and Argentina) and iwaizumi going to an onsen and ice hockey. Place in that one seijoh after graduation extra with matsuhana and. Looking gloomily out of the window. hanamaki asking him “is it him? when you look like that it's always about him” meaning iwaizumi misses oikawa so often and sulks so obviously he has a very apparent I miss oikawa face. and matsuhana know it and always ask him about it. iwaizumi responding with a “i just wish he was here too” and then immediately getting a text from oikawa asking him what he's up to. it's 6 am for oikawa he's probably just woken up and he texts iwaizumi. and then immediately responds to iwaizumi when he types his response. oikawa takes time off his day to chat with iwaizumi. I'm not even making it up. and seijoh have regular calls. Where they. Play drinking games (2020 interview) iwaoi probably call each other almost every day. and when they meet at the Olympics again they challenge each other. iwaizumi isn't even playing on the team but they're challenging each other
Moving on from the on page interactions there's also their birthdays being 41 days apart, 4 and 1 being their jersey numbers. Oikawa's birthday being Alexander the greats birthday and iwaizumi being born on alexanders death day. does this mean oikawa starts and ends with iwaizumi? in the court oikawa is often compared to Alexander the Great King and Alexander was very much in love with his right hand man Hephaeston. So much so that he died from grief soon after Hephaeston died. If Oikawa represents Alexander and iwaizumi, as his most trusted represents Hephaeston then they're literally modelled after historic. Lovers. also Alexander looked up to Achilles a lot and we all know about Achilles and Patroclus
Even the names? Oikawa's name means to go through and reaching the river. Hajime iwaizumi means one and spring or fountain. together their names mean dauntless. bravery, pride, mutual trust. that's their strength. and every time oikawa needed to make an epiphany, iwaizumi was there. “a team of better 6 is stronger” that's when oikawa started dividing attention to bringing out everyone's best, not just his own. also iwaizumi becoming an athletic trainer... basically a nurse for team Japan. like. Taking care of injuries, diets and overall health. where do you think he'd already done that? he was used to taking care of Oikawa all his life. I'm not even trying to clutch at straws.. these things are canon. now idk how much of this furudate actually intended. but to have these two boys who have literally. been there. for every stage of their lives. how can I not believe they share a unique and complete love. I genuinely cannot picture oikawa with anyone else because no one will understand him and accept him and mold him the way iwaizumi has and will continue to. also the only relationship oikawa has even been with canonically was some time in middle school and the girl dumped him in like a month or something because he's always obsessed with volleyball. Say what you will but iwaoi is so well done, so nicely structured, the trust and the understanding has such good foundation. Also iwaizumi is canonically as annoying as oikawa. he's just better at hiding it and because he tells oikawa off, people think he's not. but he matches oikawa's energy 100% I think about these two a lot and they really make me hurt and go insane in a way no ship ever has. there's wangxian who are canon gay husbands but iwaoi is so overly connected.... no part of their life can be complete without mentioning the other. and them living in different countries but still managing schedules and staying in touch, them being just fine on their own, but together shining strong and bright. well anyways there's a reason my blog is named after them lmao. they're very special to me. I will write fics on them soon as I get time coz my iwaoi hyperfixation is back full smack force and needs to be dealt with.
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ATEEZ: MinAri's Attendance Raises Dating Rumors
Suspicions of the two's romantic involvement circulate through the fandom after a few pictures taken during 'Trust Me's listening party.
February 20, 2024 (10:37PM)
The listening party for GOT7 Yugyeom's first solo studio album - 'Trust Me' - surprised netizens with a guestlist comprising of well known stars in the industry along with several actors, two of these attendees being ATEEZ's main rapper Mingi and lead vocalist Himari. While the photos posted by the host sent the internet into quite an excited ramble, Atiny found their attention caught by another set of images which showed the two bandmates seemingly acting in a rather intimate manner in the background.
The photos in question:
Source: Yugyeom's (@/yugyeom) Instagram Story
Dating rumors about them had been circling around since as early as 2020 and despite them dying out throughout the years, they have recently resurfaced due to several posts made by the rapper seeming rather cryptic about their 'friendship' status. The evidence most referred to in light of these speculations is a photo uploaded on the maknae's birthday in which both are locked in a sweet embrace, the position of their head suggesting that they might have been kissing. More recent instances of these 'slip ups' include their tour's very first soundcheck during which the vocalist was clearly seen kissing the corner of the rapper's lips, whereas moments of this type of skinship with other members are very clearly no further than their cheek.
While no statements have been released by the company regarding their suspected relationship, it has been made blatantly clear by both throughout the past few months that what goes on between them is more than simple friendship. What netizens can be sure of however is that no matter their romantic status with each other, they thoroughly enjoyed the listening party and Yugyeom seemed to enjoy having the artists around.
'Ateez ? It actually surprised me how outgoing they were since when they first came in they were really shy, especially Himari.' He stated in response to a fan's question during his live. 'I should really invite them to party more often ㅋㅋㅋ. I even got their numbers just in case.'
'I'm a little tired from the party but it was really fun.' Himari said during a joint live in Mingi's studio. 'I met Song Kang sunbaenim in person for the first time and I was so nervous, I thought I was going to pass out! He was so nice though, he even signed my headphones. I couldn't think straight because I was so in shock so it was the first thing that came to my mind. I won't spoil it since it hasn't been released...but the album is really good, Yugyeom oppa worked really hard on it and it shows. I also got a signed physical copy! I won't show you guys just yet though...maybe I'll do an unboxing when it comes out.'
The group's personal life is relatively unknown to fans so hearing that they make connections so easily in social settings is rather heart warming to hear, especially when other celebrity attendees had nothing but kind words to say about them. Despite the lack of knowledge on the true nature of their friendship, we can still admire the close connection the two share even when the camera is off.
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#ateez au#ateez imagines#ateez 9th member#ateez extra member#ateez female member#kpop oc#himarinews♡
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Sorry if I missed this lore drop previously, but how'd you get into the Pens? I love your gifs and positivity that you bring to the lb!
Buckle up anon. I thought about one line answering this but I enjoy the phrase 'lore drop' so much I think you deserve the deep dive. It'll take a while to get to the pens but you asked for lore so...
I have been sportsthoughts on tumblr since 2015 ish - maybe slightly earlier - and this has always been a sportsblr/sports rpf-y type blog in various iterations.
This blog was originally used for liveblogging UK Premier League and La Liga football matches. I have always been a huge football fan (my childhood team is Arsenal - north London forever ❤️ etc etc) and when I moved away to university at 18 none of my new friends were into sports and I really missed watching games with my family.
Finding other likeminded fans online who were also watching games and liveblogging them was such a beautiful experience and I have amazing memories of 2015-2018ish when I was a very active football blog, spent a lot of the time in the Arsenal/FC Barcelona communities here and had some beautiful trips to Barca.
I do have a sideblog where I still dabble in that space but in truth I very rarely liveblog football anymore because nowadays it's returned to being something I watch with friends and family so I'm not on my phone during games.
Here's where the pens come in - sort of. I've scrolled back through my AO3 bookmarks and can see in 2015 I also got into sports RPF for the first time. There are some incredible football RPF fics out there (let me know if you'd like some recs!). Somehow - probably through raiding people's bookmarks - in early 2015 I ended up reading a Sid/Geno fic called And Never Been Kissed and I was absolutely hooked. At the time of reading this I had:
1. Never watched a game of hockey in my life (side note, I don't think I can understate how little hockey coverage there is in the UK. Even the most ardent sports fan would probably not be able to name a single NHL player or team. Not even Sid! Not even Gretzky!)
2. I had no idea, nor any desire to look up who these people actually were. It was just like reading really well written original fiction.
For the next 7 years I thoroughly enjoyed hockey RPF and created (in my mind) entire personalities and appearances for Sid and Geno, along with all the other 'characters I came across regularly in hockey fic. Sid, I got pretty close to the mark. Geno, not so much. One day I will try and find some reference pictures for what I thought they looked like because it’s quite hilarious. When I re-read fics I love from during that time I laugh because I remember my Sid and Geno and how different they were from reality.
So, hockey was sort of in my life from 2015 but exclusively in the form of fics. I would scroll through the actual hockey bits of works because I didn’t understand the rules and why every single fic was an AU where professional sports people were allowed to fight each other mid game.
At this point I’d left university, and because I no longer liveblogged football games, I found I really missed sports fandom. Another sport I grew up watching and loving was Formula 1 so when lockdown hit in March 2020 I started liveblogging F1 races to pass the time (and still do sometimes - now over on @vroomlive). I loved/still love F1blr, but it didn't quite fill my fandom itch because:
1. We joke about it, but F1 is a deeply unserious sport run by a dire organisation (Liberty Media). They change the rules every week and it's managed badly to the point of being comical. There have been a few major cock ups over the years (including the 2021 championship literally being taken away from the rightful winner and given to someone else. To put this in hockey terms: imagine a completely valid goal being overruled in the last 5 minutes of the Stanley Cup final and then the ref deciding to give the other team a 5 on 3 powerplay Just Because) all of this is quite disheartening for long term fans - and has resulted in quite a fractured and angsty fandom.
2. There are only about 20 F1 races a year - so it's just not a sport that's on regularly. I love sports, and I want to watch sports all the time - so a sport that only gave me content every third weekend or so just wasn't really enough for me.
At this point, when I was feeling rather sports fandom bankrupt, the wonderful work of Sid/Geno writers and the influence of the tumblr dashboard converged. I worked this out by scouring my AO3 bookmarks - in April 2021 I read a Sid/Geno fic called Game Plan that I fell head over heels for. I’m still not quite sure what about this fic grasped me so deeply but I started reading a lot more hockey RPF.
Around the same time an F1 blog I followed started posting about Mat Barzal All. The. Time. I had no interest in this man and did not know he was a hockey player but over the course of about a year I became vaguely exposed to hockey content on Tumblr through that blog, and at some point in early 2022, saw Sid on my dash for the first time. I don’t remember the exact post but I remember seeing the name, doing a double take and thinking oh Shit! That’s Sidney Crosby from fanfiction! I was flabbergasted because in my mind Sid was in his early 20s tops, so seeing this early thirties, bearded, fat bottomed man on my dash and realising that that was Sid was such a shock.
My hockey lurker era lasted from mid 2022 to early 2023 and I spent a lot of time, um, lurking. That sounds so creepy. I suppose I had never thought about actively joining a fandom before because my fandom engagement (one direction > football > f1) had all happened really organically so actually choosing to join a space as an adult was quite an interesting process.
By summer of 2023 my husband’s job changed again meaning he works away from home most weeknights and suddenly my late nights were extremely free because I’d hang out with friends and then go home at 10/11 to an empty house which I hated. I really found myself wanting to make fandom friends and have an at home hobby I could do late at night before going to bed so taking on a sport that happened 12am-2am (timezones!) seemed like a good fit.
Alongside this on a totally separate track was my longstanding interest in fandom - most of my professional work/research is pretty standard psychotherapy stuff but I’ve done a little bit of work over the last few years looking at sex therapy (not as sexy as it sounds) and I have a real interest in the role that fandom and especially shipping/fic plays in shaping and expressing sexuality. It’s a bit of a back burner research topic for now but I suppose over the years researching fic and expressions of sexuality via fandom and shipping has just made me fall in love with fandom itself a little bit.
Plus having lurked around the edges of hockeyblr for a while I was just like, yeah, I really want in on this, this seems like an awesome community. The reason why I chose the pens was pretty straightforward - I felt like I knew Sid and Geno and after exploring the real life hockey, I, like most of us, was quite struck by who Sid is as a person and was just completely enchanted. Another side note - hilariously, when my husband first saw a picture of Sid last year he immediately said “Oh, he looks like me!” - do with that information what you wish.
I really eagerly awaited the start of the 2023 season and without sounding too soppy, had already fallen in love with you guys before I ever watched a live hockey game. Every fandom has its difficult corners (pensblr included!) but I can honestly say - especially after the chaos of spending my teenage years knee deep in 1D fandom and my early and mid twenties in various parts of sportsblr - being part of this space has been the most lovely, fun, friendly, lighthearted, positive and beautiful fandom experience I’ve ever had. I feel like it’s the goldilocks zone of all the previous fandoms I’ve been in and I love it.
So yeah! That is the extremely long winded answer to your question, anon. I hope this is the ‘lore drop’ you were looking for lol
TLDR: I stumbled my way through sportsblr until I accidentally ended up here and I’m never leaving.
#ask luce#this has been a very interesting reflective exercise so thanks for the question anon!#also if you recognise some of this it’s because I’ve ripped chunks of this out of dms I’ve sent people recently because time efficiency#I’m also nosy and now want to know all of your tumblr journeys so I might even turn this into a tag game lmk#anyway thus concludes my blog history. feels appropriate at this point to say thank you to the lovely friends I’ve met here#you’re all wonderful wonderful people and I love sharing this little hobby with you 💘
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Exalted: Essence is a rules-lite version of Exalted 3e, a game of epic fantasy and heroic drama, designed with accessibility and inclusivity in mind. Essence has everything fans need for complete campaigns and new players can find a succinct survey of the most engaging parts of Exalted setting and lore.
Exalted: Essence includes:
Nine Ten fully playable Exalt types. Play an Alchemical Exalt ten years before the 3e version comes out!
GM advice that both exists and is good!
All the rules needed to play complete Exalted campaigns
Usable Solar Charms!
A chargen process that takes like 30 minutes and I’m not even joking
At least one mention of how attractive Lunars are
In all seriousness: I wrote some crazy amount of words for this (I think close to 20k?) and it is one of the biggest and best TTRPG projects I’ve ever had the honor of being invited to write.
Our brains have been in nonstop Essence content mode since late 2019/early 2020. It’s tremendous to see this finally drop into everyone’s waiting hands.
It would make my day — and the day of everyone else on the Essence team — if you would get yourself a copy and try it out!
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Early MCYTblr Interviews: nibbleinephym
our interviewee is @nibblelinephym (known in 2020/2021 as severely-nearsighted). here is a copy/pasted transcript of the questions and answers!
(if these posts are too long, please let me know, and i'll incorporate a cutoff in the future!)
Q: What do you remember most fondly about ‘Early MCYTblr’? (2020-2021)
A: i think im most fond of how tight-knit the community felt in the 'early days' honestly? dont get me wrong seeing it grow and new creators bring even more people in has been wonderful but theres just something about a smaller fandom that feels nice. we were never by any means a Small fandom but we're a Lot bigger now than we were just a few years ago!
Q: I understand that you were the face of Silverfish2020 (winner of the first MCYTblr elections). What was your experience in the elections themselves like?
A: first, clarifying; unfortunately silverfish2020 was Not the winner of the first election; that was quotes2020, represented by mcyt-quotes (who i believe has since changed urls? apologies but im not sure what their current one is or if theyre still active at all ^^;) by exactly four votes -- for me the elections were a lot of fun! when they were first starting up i wasn't sure if i wanted to join, since there were a Lot of people involved already and i hadn't really solidified myself as part of the community yet (i think i was still almost exclusively a musical blog back in the first days of it, not multifandom, which is so wild to think about tbh). im really glad i did though, i met some truly amazing people through the event that i still talk with to this day :] everything felt very fast paced at the time, especially since the discord was almost always going at blink-and-youll-miss-it speeds; you had to be Constantly in there if you wanted to participate in conversation. i remember whenever someone joined the server there would be a mob of people from different parties trying to convince them to side with theirs. surprisingly, that tactic worked pretty well for a lot of parties. i vividly remember that there was usually a pause of activity in the general server when results were being posted and a boom when they were all out. it was overall just a generally pretty positive environment from what i remember
Q: You were also a contestant in the MCYTblr ‘Friend or Host’ for Paint (adhddream). What do you remember of it?
A: friend or host was great! i wasnt in the competition long (iirc i was one of the first five out??? i dont actually remember how many contestants there were for the round but i know i was pretty early ^^;) but paint seemed really chill, it was just a nice little thing that we did for fun at love or hosts peak. i remember the discord stream of it didnt exactly go very well -- there was an issue with the visuals i think? so it might have been only audio. but im not entirely sure about that, it didnt really stick in my mind as well as other things from that era.
Q: What was the roleplay for Silverfish2020 like?
A: the silverfish roleplay was very,, im not sure what the best word for it would be. chaotic maybe. there were a lot of things going on there just because there were a lot of things going on in the elections roleplay as a whole. we really leaned into the cult thing when the jokes started and it just kinda spiraled from there. in the beginning we toyed with the idea of a chestburster type thing living inside of the party members but it never really went anywhere despite how much we talked about it in our private discord,, instead we just focused on the party being a sort of hivemind. they lived in a stronghold under a dead forest and would try to get others to listen to 'the buzz' (like. insect buzzing. except if you listened to it long enough youd start hearing promises of a new family and respect and power and shit like that). one of our party members, shard (@shardofsun) was very thorough with all of her lore, going so far as to make detailed plans in a notebook of hers. the roleplay extended throughout the other elections as well (if you ignore the third and only through past lifetimes in the fourth) and is still partially going on now!
Q: You’ve been consistently keeping a list of all ‘kinnie’ (content creator imposter) blogs. Which ones stood out to you?
A: i think one of the imposter blogs that stood out most to me was definitely iamdreamwastaken (who eventually moved to tmblrdream) just because they were very interactive and took all the shit we sent them in stride. i also really liked the timedeo imposter despite never watching any of timedeos stuff. just thought they were cool. honourable shoutout to the eret and nihachu imposters too they rocked
Q: What are the biggest blogs you can remember? What was your impression of them?
A: the biggest blogs i can remember are probably gnfkitten [braveboyhalo] back when cat was the only one on the blog, adhddream, hearty-an0n(maybe not a Big one?? but very active and in a Lot of peoples inboxes from what i saw) and wooteena. there are definitely more urls i remember like georgeeehd (i think?) and wormweeb but i dont think i followed georgeeehd and i cant remember a whole lot of wormweebs stuff apart from the infertility post so i cant accurately answer for them ^^; wooteena was an acquaintance of mine; we didnt talk a whole lot but we were mutuals for a while. they were always pretty chill, despite the fact there were people out there shipping them with a friend of theirs?? ive always had huge respect for them just because they had the energy to deal with shit like that. i was friends with gnfkitten and hearty-an0n, at the very least in a 'wave at each other on the street' way, and i have really fond memories of the both of them :] hearty is still active, they post about sports these days from what i see on my dash, but im not sure if cat is despite gnfkitten being active as a group blog. adhddream always seemed really cool! my memory of their blog isnt super clear but i know i really liked seeing them on my dash back in the day. since this is tumblr i have no way of knowing if any of these people were actually Big Blogs but it definitely seemed like they were to me at the time haha
Q: What was the most insane piece of fandom drama you can remember from early MCYTblr? Did you participate?
A: i dont actually remember a whole lot of fandom drama from that time honestly. i tended to stay in my bubble of mutuals and other people i followed so it rarely ever crossed my dash. i was like ,, 15-16 at the time so fandom drama stressed me wayyyyy out, i tried my best to avoid it. the only stuff i can really remember at all was people fighting about whether or not it was okay to ship the characters from the dream smp and if shipping the characters was the same as shipping the players, but i never participated in any of the discourse from what i can recall
Q: Is there anything else you want to mention or that you want to be written down and remembered?
A: nope! though im happy to clarify on anything stated here if needed or answer any other questions that may arise :]
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Bubble Playoff Boredom
In which Elias is in Edmonton for the 2020 Bubble playoffs, and his girlfriend is bored out of her mind.
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Elias left yesterday for the return to play in Edmonton. He's been so bored over lockdown without being able to skate or play hockey, so she's glad he can get back to what he does best. Joanna, however, always had something to do. Studying, student union zoom meetings, the odd online chess tournament. They both have just moved into their first home together, a lovely condo roughly in between Rogers Arena and UBC, so have been constantly working on getting the place ship shape for their needs. Now, she's the one left at loose ends. Potentially two months without him, and unable to just hop in the car to visit her friends and family are going to fucking suck. Ever an early bird, Joanna is up at eight, and gets ready for her day. She eats her breakfast, and looks around the condo for anything that needs to be done. She hones in on the bookcase, and decides to rearrange it. Putting her university and non-fiction books on the bottom shelves, all arranged by author, and their novels closer to the top. She keeps the middle shelf for trinkets and pictures, as well as Elias' various hockey mementos. ''Much better.''
That takes her until just before lunch, she didn't know quite how many books she had until now. Next, she makes herself some lunch, and watches something on Netflix. Elias said he'd call her every night, so she has a bunch of time to kill. ''Right, what next?'' She says to herself. Eyeing up her knitting baskets, Joanna sorts through her projects, and places the finished ones in a separate basket. Her needles and crochet hooks are in a box in her desk drawer upstairs. Her unfinished projects are put in another basket, and she sorts her wools out, arranging them neatly into colours and types. She spends the rest of the day getting some of her projects finished, Elias' gloves for winter don't take long, neither do hers. A hat for her friend Jonathan is a quick finish as well, and goes in a special gift bag for him with Chelsea's scarf. Those take her until dinner. She eats, watches some tv, and goes to get ready for bed.
Finally, she gets her facetime with her boyfriend. She almost wants to cry at seeing him again. ''Hi, sweetheart, how are you?'' She asks, relaxing into her pillows. ''Bored senseless, alskling, you?'' Joanna sips her water. ''About the same, what did you do today? Surely there's something you guys can do, right?''
Elias says. ''Well; Brock, Thatch, Quinn, and I got a Mario Kart event going between ourselves. Finished that book you told me to read.'' She gave him her Dark Tower books by Stephen King for the bubble. ''Really? Did you like it?''
Elias nods, earnest as always. ''Yeah, I did. I'll crack open the next one tomorrow after training.'' He asks her, blue eyes sleepy. ''Now, what did you get up to today?''
Joanna says. ''Well, I sorted our bookcase out finally, and got my knitting stuff in order. My desk is a disaster, so that's tomorrow sorted.'' She pauses and sighs. ''I miss having you here, Lias, this place just doesn't feel like home without you.''
Elias sighs as well, running his free hand through his silver blond hair. ''I know, Anna, I know. Believe me, I'm no happier about this than you are. Just, try and sleep for me, okay?''
Joanna nods, swallowing past a tightening in her throat. ''Yeah, you too. I love you.''
Elias says. ''I love you too.'' They hang up, Joanna lies down, and almost forces herself to get some sleep.
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A couple of days pass, and the Canucks have begun their qualifying campaign against Minnesota with a 3-0 loss. Joanna notices the day after that they need some groceries. So, she makes herself a list on her phone. Essential stores are open now, so she'll be fine. Her first time out of the condo since Elias left for Alberta. She grabs her purse, and jumps in her car. She drives down to the store, and heads inside, it is unfairly hot today. The store is all but empty, only staff and a few other shoppers milling about. She swings by the produce section for more fruits and veggies, then grabs some chicken breast and smoked salmon. Next, the dairy aisle for more milk and yoghurt. In the hygiene section, she bumps into her best friend. ''Tessa, oh my God, you are a sight for sore eyes.''
Theresa laughs behind her tiger print mask. ''Bored at home alone, Anna?'' They chat while six feet apart, the two little girls who lived in each other's pockets for two decades. ''God, yeah, with Elias out of town, I'm just counting the days until he's home. Cup or no Cup.''
Theresa says, eyes crinkling with a hidden smile. ''Nate and I had a little wager on, twenty bucks to me if you got bored before qualifying, twenty bucks to him if it happened after. Looks like I won.'' Joanna adds some pads and moisturizer to her cart, along with some of her favourite lip balm. ''Looks like you did.''
Theresa says. ''Anyway, I should get going, I love you, bestie.'' Joanna says, being a touchy person during a pandemic isn't fun. ''Love you too, Tessa.''
Joanna swings by the bakery section for some bread and some of their favourite cookies. Then, she grabs some ice cream. She picks up some cleaning products, and goes to a self checkout.
Once home, she chucks her mask in the laundry, and washes her hands before putting everything away. Then, she finds a knitting pattern for a cute teddy bear, and begins working on it.
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The team go into August 6th having tied the series, and shutout the Wild 3-0, with Elias getting his first ever playoff goal! Joanna watches from home, having to dry her eyes all night. Her boyfriend's first playoff goal, and it was beautiful, and she couldn't see it in person. She quickly readies herself for bed, putting laundry on her to-do list for tomorrow, and jumps on facetime with Elias, who looks radiant. To add to the unfairness, his beard is coming in! Fuck you, Covid. Joanna groans. ''Hey, beautiful, did you see it?'' Elias asks, sounding justly proud of himself.
Joanna laughs, and says. ''Oh, I saw it, darling. I continue to be so proud of you, you know? Here's to many more.'' Elias chuckles, the same way he does when she tells him a joke. ''Your lips to God's ear, alskling.'' He takes a minute to scan her face, he knows her too well by now, when the calm sea hides a tsunami. ''Anna, are you okay? You look like you've been crying.''
Joanna purses her lips. ''Yeah, I'm just happy for you, love, that's all.'' He cocks an eyebrow. ''Anna, please, just tell me. It's okay, Quinn's asleep, it's just us.''
Joanna confesses, because he always knows how to unravel her. ''I'm just... pissed off. You scored, and it was amazing. But, here I am, stuck watching you from home. I pictured you finding me in the stands and blowing me a kiss after your first playoff goal.'' She pauses to collect herself. ''I know it's for safety, and people are dying, but, that's what I pictured.''
Elias sighs, and looks emotional himself. ''I know you did, so did I. Tell you what? That's my celly for my next goal, I'll find a camera, and kiss your rose pendant you gave me.''
Joanna beams at him, what stars aligned to give him to her? ''Sounds good to me.'' They say their goodnights, and hang up.
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That gameday would come against the defending champions - St Louis. Game one of the best of seven. Joanna finishes a deep clean of the house brought about my nerves, but she doesn't miss the start of the game. Bo and Perron score in the first to hold things level at one goal apiece. Early in the second period, however, Elias hammers it to the back of the net, beating out Binnington with grace. He finds a camera close to the net, fishes the rose pendant out from his jersey, and presses a kiss to it for her. Elias mouths to the camera. ''I love you.''
Joanna, barely fighting tears, says. ''I love you too.'' Her phone rings, her dad. ''Hi, daddy, what's up?'' She sniffles.
Her dad asks. ''Was that for you, princess? That celly? Your mom thinks it was.'' Her parents got her the rose necklace for her fifteenth birthday, and she's only ever removed it to give it to Elias before he left for Alberta.
Joanna gleefully says. ''Yeah, dad, it was. I know we're still so young, dad, but he's it for me.'' She watches as Schwartz levels it up again. Her dad chuckles down the line. ''I think so too, princess.'' They talk for a bit, and hang up.
Troy, Bo, and JT lead the team to the win. As Joanna is readying for bed, she gets a text from Elias.
Beloved: Grab your laptop, I have an idea.
She smirks to herself, and replies.
Joanna Rose: Okay. 💓
They facetime each other to sleep that night. Talking about the game, his goal celebration, and the series to come.
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The series trundles along nicely, it's tied by the 18th. Joanna decides to go for an early morning run that day, and showers once she's home. Things are a bit more bearable now that they have the routines down, but coming home to an empty condo is still depressing. Her younger siblings are locked down with her parents at the manor, her older siblings have their partners. Her friends are all living with their partners by now too. She finishes eating breakfast, and works on her teddy bear again. All it needs now is the finishing touches. She sews on some buttons for eyes and a nose, and knits a little bowtie from soft pink wool. Her niece's knitted duck plushie was a hit, Rose never sleeps without it according to Edward and Cassandra. But, this one will be staying here. She may be 21, but she is terribly touch starved.
After lunch, she plays some chess online against some other players, her elo is up to 1200 now, it was a bit higher when she was competing as a teenager. She was even competing against the boys, and winning most of her matches. None of her boys have ever beaten her, and only Elias came close, mostly because he kissed her mid-move to confuse her. And, there it is again, that ache in her heart. That ache that feels so good but so bad all at once. She breathes it in, and lets it go on the exhale, he'll be home soon enough, Cup or no Cup.
After dinner, she fills up the bird feeders she's hung on their balcony. Loading them with seeds, nuts, and dried berries for the little songbirds that come around here. She also fills the hummingbird feeder with fructose water. Joanna heads inside to fetch her book, and reads the evening away.
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The Canucks take a 5-2 series lead over the Blues with a beautiful 4-3 win on the 19th. And, win the series two days later in a beatdown 6-2 game, knocking the defending champions out. Now, they face Vegas. The day before that series begins, Joanna comes onto her period. Always later in the month, so she runs to the store to stock up. Something she could usually ask Elias to do, but he's not here. Her back is killing her by the time she gets home. So, after washing up and binning her mask, she crashes on the couch with some cookies, tea, and Downton Abbey - always a comfort show for her. Life must have been similar for her family back then, an old money family needing to adapt to an evolving world. She's always wondered what her great-grandparents and their parents must have been experiencing. But, she'd say they've adapted pretty well.
She has her laptop facetime in bed with Elias that night. He looks so excited to have won the St Louis series, and a bit tired from training today as well. ''How are you guys holding up?'' She asks him.
Elias yawns. ''I think we're okay, Rouss has been getting extra physio, so has Motter. but, We're doing good, so far. How are you? It'll be that time of the month, won't it?''
Joanna smiles, placing a hand on her lower abdomen to calm a cramp down. ''Yeah, it started literally today.''
Elias tells her. ''The boys miss you too, Quinn and Brock especially.'' Joanna sniffles, hoping it's just her hormones acting up. ''I miss them too, it's so weird not having the gang together.''
Elias hums. ''I know, and we won't be able to have them over until at least next year too, with the way things are looking.'' Joanna gives her boyfriend a tired smile. ''At least we'll be back together.'' Elias nods, and yawns again. ''At least there's that, yeah. I love you, I'll see you soon.''
Joanna says, resting her head. ''I love you too, see you soon.'' They fall asleep on facetime again.
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UBC sends Joanna some materials for junior year of her degree the day after the Canucks get shutout 5-0 by Vegas. The files get saved to her laptop, and the books go on the lower shelves of their bookcase. Still no real news on how semester is going to work yet, the dean and the board are working closely with the provincial government to evaluate things, and should be issuing an email to the student body in a couple of days. She's just fine to study from home, it's union meetings she's worried about. Online meetings sometimes give people excuses not to attend. The orcas right the ship the following day, winning 5-2 with yet another goal from Elias. The next day, Joanna is up early for some yoga before breakfast, and heads out to the store quickly. She spends the afternoon reading over her course materials, classes will be online until after christmas it appears.
Joanna watches some tennis highlights while she makes herself some spaghetti for dinner. Tennis is also back behind closed doors, and the sound of it is amazing, the ball is so much louder with the empty stadium. She's played to very few people on various ocassions, mostly in high school, and the sound is so familiar. She eats while watching tennis, and goes to bed at ten like she always does. She and Elias fall asleep together over zoom again, not knowing when they'll be back in the same bed together.
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Vegas win two in a row to take the series lead over the coming days, Marc-Andre Fleury standing on his head in game four. Joanna spends the day of the 31st of August baking, muffins and cookies are in the oven, and she tidies up after setting a timer. There should be enough there for at least a week. She also goes over some notes for a Student Union meeting for the 9th of September, their first of the new year.
While she's cleaning up the living room, the timer dings, and she takes her muffins and cookies out of the oven to cool off. Everything is baked all the way through. She gets a call from her friend Genevieve. ''Hi, Genna, how are you?''
Genevieve says. ''Hi, Anna. I'm good, Natalia is bored out of her mind, we both are. She misses her soccer, and I miss my lacrosse. How are you, it's been what? Three weeks since Elias left?'' Joanna smiles sadly, her heart aching at hearing about her friends having each other through this. Genna and Nat are a sports couple UBC relies on for results. ''Yeah, it's been rough. This condo just doesn't feel like home without him, can I confess something to you?''
Genevieve says. ''Always, go ahead.''
Joanna fiddles with he hem of her dress. ''I don't care about that Cup, I just want my boyfriend home however he gets here.'' Genevieve says, an athlete herself. ''I know, I've felt that for you, girlie, his place is with you, Cup or no Cup.''
Her boys fight like orcas should the following day. Beating Vegas 2-1 with goals from both Brock and Elias. Then, do it all over again to level the series a dominant 4-0 shutout from Thatcher with the offense firing on all cylinders.
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It's the following day, while she's cracking on with the first load of coursework for junior year, that the news reaches her that the boys will need to isolate for ten days upon return home whenever that is. She rolls her eyes, and accepts the news, it's for the best. At least Elias will be back in BC. They'll also need to return two negative Covid tests. She'll need to return one for Elias to return home. She takes her deep breath again, and gets back on with her work. She'd love to see her boyfriend lift that cup, she knows better than anyone does how much that weighs on this city. How 1994 and 2011 plague this team. But, the selfish part of her just wants him home now. Road trips are bearable, but this has been uniquely painful.
Joanna stops for a lunch hour, which she takes on the balcony, and goes to get back on with her work until four pm. She makes herself a small fish curry, something her friend on the union, Rajeev, turned her on to ages ago. It's since become one of her favourite dinners, she's tweaked his recipe to add salmon instead of haddock.
That night, in bed, she jumps on zoom as usual, and gets cozy. Elias looks just exhausted from it all, she's pretty tired herself right now. ''Hi, sweetheart, how are you holding up?'' She asks him.
Elias slowly blinks a few times, like a cat would, if only to keep himself awake. ''Hanging in there, how are you doing, beautiful?'' Joanna yawns, twirling the end of her braid around her finger. ''Getting back to university work, but looking forward to having you home.''
Elias also yawns, running a hand through his hair. ''I'm looking forward to being home, Quinn's a great room-mate, wouldn't trade him for anyone. But, that is our bed you're sleeping alone in, know what I mean?'' Joanna nods, putting her head down, she knows exactly what he means. ''Yeah, I do.'' The conversation trails off from there, until both fall into sleep together.
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Game seven is a washout, the Canucks are eliminated 3-0 in a shutout from Robin Lehner. Ending their run in the second round, a good showing all things considered, and no one in the bubble got sick, which is nothing short of a miracle. So, the Canucks must clear out the following day, and fly home to BC. Then, the ten day isolation begins. Joanna receives a text from Elias on day five of BC isolation while she's working.
Beloved: Took my test today, all clear!
She smiles, clicking her pen a few times, and replies.
Joanna Rose: Great! Do you know when I should take my test?
He must be texting management, because his answer takes a few moments to come through.
Beloved: Day nine, same as us.
She nods, and makes a note on a pink post-it.
Joanna Rose: Cool, I guess I'll see you soon! 🌹
He replies quickly.
Beloved: See you soon! 💙
Five more days! Five! And, she can have her boyfriend back from hockey for a while. Still no news on next season, by rights it should start in october, next month, but she can't see that happening.
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Day nine comes, and she takes her Covid test after dinner. The sting in her nose and throat is the most uncomfortable thing she's probably ever felt. This must be what taking a pregnancy test feels like, she thinks as she washes her hands. The test is done, and thankfully negative. She bins it, and texts Elias.
Joanna Rose: Took my test, negative!
Elias texts her back.
Beloved: Also negative!
She's so excited to hear that news, one more day then.
Joanna Rose: When are you being released?
Elias takes a moment to answer her this time, probably just checking with Benning.
Beloved: Tomorrow evening, just after dinner.
That's gonna be an agonizingly long day. She replies.
Joanna Rose: Cool, I'll be up. See you tomorrow!
He replies, seeming excited too.
Beloved: See you tomorrow!
Finally, she's getting him back, these past few weeks have sucked being here in their home without him.
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She's up early to tidy the condo the next day, there isn't much to do, but she wants the place to look neat for Elias returning home. Once that's done, which takes her through a lunch break, she gets on with some homework while listening to some music. That takes her until dinner, the hours feeling like years all of a sudden. She eats a quick bowl of pasta with some fruit juice, then, she waits. Half-watching something on Netflix until she hears the familiar sound of a car outside, and footsteps on the stairs. The door clicks open and closed, Joanna springs up, and bolts through to the foyer to greet him. Elias laughs behind his team mask, and says. ''Hang on, I just need to wash up.''
He washes his hands, and chucks his mask in the laundry. Then, at long last, he can sweep her into his arms for real. He holds her close, and breathes her in, he's home, at long last, he's home. Joanna also inhales his scent, savouring the feel of him in her arms again. Her friends can never understand how this feels, her family can't either. This feeling is all theirs. ''I've missed you so fucking much, alskling.'' Elias says.
Joanna sniffles, overcome by it all. ''I've missed you too, darling.'' Finally, they kiss, brought back together after far too long apart. This is the best feeling on earth, it must be.
Joanna gets the kettle on, and makes them tea with her cookies. And, finally back together in their home, they talk late into the night like they always do.
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Weekly Gundam News Comics (Gundam Wing)
Needed to scratch the translation itch - so I found a bunch of cute short gag comic strips of the boys! Sorry for the terrible cleaning for some of them, not my strong suit, unfortunately.
Some background information: these are from the Gundam Info website’s Weekly Gundam News column. I’ve picked out all the Gundam Wing ones, and usually they advertise some cute marketing event or are just funny. Keep in mind that since these comic strips span back to like, 2013, so a lot of these events are super outdated LOL. I’ll try to explain any references as they pop up.
These comic strips were drawn by 小林ミツツグ (who has been doing these for years now!!) and will be listed in ascending order.
Comics under the cut:
Posted: 30th April 2013
You are about to see A LOT OF THESE ‘Golden Week’-themed comics. The running joke is that GW can stand for both Golden Week and Gundam Wing so they really like turning it into a gag.
Golden Week is basically a week off for all major businesses/schools because it has public holidays back-to-back and goes from end of April to early May.
Wufei is sitting in a ‘shoubu-yu’, a type of bath children take on May 5 (Children’s Day) where you put Japanese iris roots and leaves in the water with you. It supposedly wards off illnesses and misfortune. ‘Shoubu’ is also a homophone with ‘duel’, so the bath is meant to give you luck in battle too. Very Wufei of him.
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Posted: 15th Oct 2013
The thing he’s holding is less so a flipbook and more a picture book that is used with storytelling.
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Posted: 30th Apr 2014
See? I told you.
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Posted: 28th Apr 2015
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Posted: 3rd May 2016
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Posted: 2nd May 2017
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Posted: 1st May 2018
Chimaki is a type of sticky rice dumpling wrapped in a bamboo leaf.
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Posted: 7th May 2019
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Posted: 8th Oct 2019
Referencing the line Relena says in the final episode where she tears up Heero’s letter.
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Posted: 9th Oct 2019
I think this is referring to the 40th anniversary Gundam Beyond project?
Mala is a type of spicy and numbing Chinese seasoning. It’s pretty much just Sichuan peppers and other spices.
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Posted: 19th Nov 2019
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Posted: 22nd Sep 2020
Advertising for the Gundam Cafe x Namjatown collaboration. Look that one up - Heero looks goofy with cat ears, haha.
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Posted: 15th Dec 2020
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Posted: 5th Jan 2021
Their drinks include a o-mikuji which is normally a random slip of paper that has your fortune for the year written on it. You typically get them at shrines. If you get a bad fortune, you tie it to a tree or a fence with other bad fortunes. I assume this is like a chocolate version of that or something edible.
The standard ranking of fortunes goes from: great blessing, blessing, small blessing, half-blessing, future blessing, future small blessing, and misfortune.
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Posted: 19th Jan 2021
Quatre here is referencing the scene where Heero punches Duo in the gut.
4DX is a movie experience where the seats move and like, water sprays on you and stuff to immerse you better into the movie. I didn’t know Endless Waltz got a 4DX version? Do they turn up the temperature when Quatre goes to retreive the Gundam when he’s near the sun LMAO??
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Posted: 27th Apr 2021
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Posted: 12th Oct 2021
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If you've been following my blog for a while, chances are that the name 'Fated Acolyte' might sound familiar to you! The Fated Acolyte was my first publicly shown Shovel Knight OC/Self-Insert that I designed in early 2020 and didn't end up posting to tumblr until the end of that year. While he's gotten a few touch-ups to his design, I'm still proud of his overall look and feel as he looks like he'd fit right at home in a campaign like Specter of Torment!
In the Fated Acolyte's debut post, I mention that— at the time— it was a lot tougher for me to make a Shovel Knight OC than it was for me to make a robot master OC, merely because at that point I had only been familiar with the Shovel Knight franchise for a little under a year. Sure, I'd actually designed one or two knights during that time, but I'll get around to showing them once I touch up their designs a bit.
However, a couple of days ago, I was struck with a genius idea for a Shovel Knight OC, and given that my familiarity with the Shovel Knight universe has expanded since 2020, I sprang to action to bring a skilled marksman to the Valley...
Meet Battle Knight - The Administrator!
(Check under the cut for a bio, a design deep dive on Battle Knight's look and a special bonus!)
Name: Battle Knight
Height: 5'11" (6'5" counting helmet)
Track Names: An Unmatched Artillery, The Administrator
Affiliations: The Order of No Quarter (Formerly)
Pros: Strategical mind, possesses great confidence, well presented
Cons: Refuses to accept defeat, easily intimidated when outnumbered
"Armed with a tactful mind and a fearsome onslaught of warriors, Battle Knight is notorious for being outstanding in his field— the field of battle! Battle Knight once worked closely with The Enchantress and the Order of No Quarter to diligently plan the takeover of the Valley, and was responsible for recruiting worthy warriors to defend each knight's respective keeps.
He holds a strong appreciation and knowledge for all things weaponry, evident by his very own literal arm cannon. His artillery smarts are perhaps most evident on Propeller Knight's Flying Machine, which he aided to equip with state-of-the-art cannonry, landing him a strong fellowship with the Spin Controller.
In spite of his prestigious position, Battle Knight is easily frustrated with anyone claiming to be a worthy opponent and not have an ideal weapon to match (Take, for instance, a spade), and has been known to drop his brave demeanor once faced with an army greater than his own. But a fighter wouldn't stay true to their name if they couldn't hold their own, and Battle Knight ensures any scuffle he finds himself in will see him victorious!"
Unlike the Fated Acolyte, who's design process at first took a few days and was improved upon over the course of 2020, Battle Knight's design was so clear to me from the get-go that it took me a little over an evening to both design and sprite him! I chalk this up to the fact that I knew that I wanted him to be a war general type of character, and was quick to scour the lands of Google for good outfit references.
As is standard practice with my sprite posts, here is the process I went about when spriting (And by extension designing) Battle Knight! While a regimental coat was a given for the type of knight I was going for, I'm most proud of two aspects of his design: his cannon arm and his bullet shaped helmet!
The day after I had completed Battle Knight's base sprite, it felt only right to also sprite a dialogue portrait to go along with it (And so I could write humorous dialogue between him and the other knights)! What's interesting is that I'll usually sketch out what I want a sprite portrait to look like before spriting it, but much like Stellar Man, I ended up freestyling the whole thing, making for a flashy final result!
And from having sprited a portrait for Battle Knight, I put it to good use by designing him his very own Joustus card! Having Battle Knight's card in your deck ensures turning the tide should your opponent gain the upper hand; between possessing both a Bomb arrow (Referencing his cannon arm) and being a Slam card, this is certainly a card to chase after!
With that, that's finally everything! I hope that you've enjoyed my deep dive pertaining to this steadfast sharpshooter, because I'm extremely proud of what all I was able to come up with for him!
#Shovel Knight#Shovel Knight OC#Battle Knight#OC#Sprite Art#Deep Dives with Star#Coolness#I was just S O excited to show Battle Knight off you don't even KNOW#It was a goal for me to try to nail the Shovel Knight feel as closely as I could while designing and spriting him...#... and I think I did a fine job!#I was even able to stick within the five color sprite limit which I wasn't sure would be possible at first!#On the topic of colors I really like how his bullet helmet's shading came out#Mega Man has conditioned me in mastering the art of metallic shading.#Battle Knight was originally going to wear a deep blue coat before I decided red would look a bit better#And if I went with blue then his color scheme would match up pretty closely with Treasure Knight's...#... who ALSO has a cannon arm#Originally I had planned on including a quartet of dialogue box sets starring Battle Knight and the other knights here#But I think that I'll save those for a later post as this post turned out to be WAY longer than I thought it would#But hey! Who doesn't love a good read?#Also you bet your bullets that Battle Knight craves Joustus. It's a game about strategy- it was M A D E for him
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Glass listens to Cherry Jones in conversation with Michelle Dockery
August 5, 2022
US actor CHERRY JONES turns inquisitor in this conversation with her friend and colleague MICHELLE DOCKERY, whose latest screen appearance sees her in a gripping court drama involving a UK politician accused of rape.
Michelle Dockery is one of those actors whose otherworldly ability and deep anchored passion for performance has been her sword and shield since she was a young girl. Her career spans close to two decades, starting out on stage at London’s National Theatre and becoming a regular fixture on the big and the small screen.
Best known for her role as Lady Mary Crawley in ITV’s Downton Abbey (2010–2015, with the film, Downton Abbey: A New Era, to be released this year) her portrayal garnered global attention and copious award nominations.
Not straying too far from performing, the actor is turning to music with Michael Fox, who together, are set to take to our ears with their debut EP in May, cementing her preternatural ability to flourish on any stage. For this issue of Glass, Dockery speaks to her great friend, the American actor and five-time Tony Award nominee Cherry Jones. The two discuss Dockery’s latest project –playing lawyer Kate Woodcroft in the upcoming Netflix drama series Anatomy of a Scandal– and the early stages of her career, as well as the current focus on female-led narratives.
Cherry: Having just watched you in Anatomy of a Scandal, as an actress, I actually want to be playing with you as Kate Woodcroft.
Michelle: I took a lot of inspiration from working with you on Defending Jacob [American TV court drama, 2020] –though they are very different types of courtrooms; we didn’t get to move around [because of the way the UK courtroom is arranged].
Cherry: You didn’t get to perform like shameless US lawyers [laughs].
Michelle: I was quite sad that I couldn’t walk the court. There’s a different challenge in trying to make each question and each part of the interrogations interesting because you can’t just gesticulate quite as much. I slightly underestimated that before going into it because you’re just in one place.
Cherry: But being restrained served Woodcroft’s character beautifully in that courtroom because, as the audience, we get to see each attack, and each attack is so different. But no matter how distressed you are, the new tactic is so clear and so strong. As an actress, what was it like putting on that barrister’s wig for the first time?
Michelle: It was amazing because we got to go to Ede & Ravenscroft, where every barrister gets fitted in London for their garb. The first time I put that robe on and put the wig on, it felt like putting on the weight of the law, which is the only way I can describe it. People kind of react to you differently as well. We have scenes where you’re walking down those corridors. And when you’re in that authoritative dress, people move out the way a little more for you. Or there’s this sense of power. I think some people can kind of make fun of those wigs but, actually, there’s such a sense of status and the law when you put them on.
Cherry: Not giving anything away with your [Kate Woodcroft’s] backstory, sometimes as actors it’s not quite as important to have one because it’s so in the present, but with this, it’s deep.
Michelle: She has a deep backstory which the audience eventually discovers. Prior to knowing more about her, every scene that she is in there is something going on which relates to her past. The backstory was incredibly important for me to always have in the back of my mind. There is an advantage to having the book that you can delve into and there’s so much that you can gather, but it’s about keeping it in your head all the time – who you are and what your past means.
Cherry: It’s just a fantastic cast, the way you all work together. And it’s so important to this script that you are each represented so well. Did you get to spend much time together.
Michelle: We did a little. The most time we spent together was in the courtroom. Sienna [Miller] and I, our characters don’t really meet until much later on. We did a scene very early on and then sort of top and tailed, and then we depart at the end in the courtroom. She was always upstairs above me. Every morning I’d walk in and put on my wig and then she’d be like, “Morning Michelle” and I’d be waving up to her in the gallery.
And of course, due to Covid-19, the restrictions were really strong. At the time, we had the pod system with this plastic wall between you and the other actors. It’s such a social world that we work in, so it was the first job where it was quite a different experience. But for me in those courtroom scenes, it was vital because I couldn’t get too distracted. I had to really stay in the zone before those big scenes, so in some ways that isolation was helpful.
Cherry: Because she’s so isolated and I know how chatty you are.
Michelle: I had to go into my shell a little more on this. It was necessary for the part.
Cherry: I have a quick story about that party that we left at, like, four o’clock in the morning, where we went from the woods of Massachusetts back to the Burlington Mall parking lot. We were both exhausted and ready to fall asleep in the back of this car that we were going to be in for 30 minutes to get back to civilisation. And this gentleman [the driver of the car], we asked him one question and he went into this breathless rant about his life. He didn’t even come up for air, and I started drifting off because I was just desperately tired and I fell asleep listening to you going [in a soft voice] “Oh, oh no. Really?” I thought, Michelle Dockery is a fine girl. She is the best. There’s not a set in America or the UK that isn’t happy to see you coming on.
Michelle: [laughs] I should have probably had a nap with you in that cab.
Cherry: I want to add that the moment I had a sense of jealousy was having watched you on Downton Abbey, then Godless [TV mini-series, 2017] and then the first shot of Anatomy of a Scandal, [which] is you from overhead in that barrister’s wig. I thought “oh my God, what a career”. You seem to lead projects that seem to be very female-centric, like when you think about Downton, it’s the women you remember. It was the same with Godless and the same with Anatomy.
Michelle: Yes, absolutely. You’re so right about Downton because we should celebrate that more. Julian [Fellowes, creator of Downtown Abbey] writes so well for women. I’m really proud to be involved in shows that are so female driven. Of course, [Anatomy of a Scandal] is the fall of a politician, his world has been imploded – David E Kelley [the co-writer] is so good at this; think of Big Little Lies [2017 TV series created by Kelley], this is the same. The unravelling of this perfect life, but it’s also about this journey of these two women who are on different paths but reach a point at the end where they’re changed.
Cherry: You’ve been acting since you came out of the womb.
Michelle: I was always performing from a young age –doing plays for mum and dad.
Cherry: Do you remember as a child a particular creation of yours that you pull out of your bag of tricks to entertain the troops with? Or were you a leader in your neighbourhood of ideas for playing outside that day?
Michelle: I think it started with just toys, doing their voices. My mum said that I would do a whole set for them, and I’d be like, “don’t touch it”. I went to stage school, so we did a lot of choreography competitions, and I was definitely a leader in all of those and directing everybody. So, it started very, very early, really.
Cherry: And when you came out of school, did you work right away?
Michelle: I worked at the National Youth Theatre, which I was member of, but I needed money to pay for drama school auditions because if you wanted to audition, you paid for each one. It was really all about putting some money away for drama school. I got into Guildhall [School of Music and Drama] and I trained there for three years and then went straight on to the stage – I did that for most of my twenties. I was doing theatre until Downton, which was sort of one of my first TV roles.
Cherry: When people ask about the difference between stage and film, I always find myself talking about the acting. It’s the familial thing around when you’re working in a theatre every night with the same group of people at the same hour in the same clothes. And yet with film you are travelling all over, it’s sort of like being in the army. Like when you get into that courtroom to shoot Kate Woodcroft and you’re surrounded by all that extraordinary crew that are always two feet away from you. There’s a bond in that.
Michelle: Especially if you’ve been on a series, something that’s been going on for a long time, something like Downton. We had a lot of the same crew for six years. We’ve all been on that journey together and grown up together.
Imogen Clark
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what are your favorite comics?
as tempted as i am to just say “i’ll give ya three guesses, and the first two don't count,” and leave it at that for the sake of The Funny, lol—
im not gonna let myself keep going on and on and on for too long, or else this post’ll never get made, but this isn't. like. Everything. brain is just scrampled egg rn so these r a little all over the place but. w/e here r the first “favorite” books that’ve come 2 my mind:
(under the cut because i Ramble*)
(*let us also proceed knowing that classic spider-man/spider-man in general goes without saying b/c i am Not typing that much.)
- Spider-Man 2099 (1992)
big surprise, i know. lay off! it was my first comic! looking back on it, i probably shouldn't have been reading it as, like. a 9-10(??) year old kid. but. y’know. pish-posh. when the chips’re down, sm2099 was what i had during a real rough time that spanned years without letup, and as a result sm2099 has been a Really Important Thing for me ever since.
has the relative decade’s worth of Enrichment ultimately also been worth the requisite Nigh-Obsessive Brainrot? 🤷 i’unno. i’m predisposed to say “well, duh, dude, no shit it has been,” so that's that.
- Spider-Man 2099 Meets Spider-Man (1995)
duh. (in seriousness: fun romp of a one-shot, nd i really like that mig and mj were kinda-friends,., .,,.,)
- Moon Knight (1980)
MK v1 was the run that REALLY got me into comic books as something more than just a passive casual interest, back in, uhh-- early-early 2020, i think? it definitely... shows its age in not a great way, at times, but otherwise i can’t help but feel a fond affection for the first volume of MK.
(Plus, on the art side of things, it’s really cool to see Bill Sienkiewicz developing his iconic signature style over the course of the run!!!)
- Immortal Hulk: The Threshing Place (2020)
.......and tbh, every other Immortal Hulk one-shot, as well, but. Threshing Place especially has some just gorgeous art. I can’t stomach visual body horror very well most of the time, but I otherwise really like what I've been able to read of Immortal Hulk.
- Ms. Marvel (2014)
genuinely a really good book and also the only Inhumans thing i like (in no small part, im sure, because there is not a lot of Inhumans stuff in it). starting to run out of spoons at this point so i’m just gonna be blunt if u hate kamala khan Fuck You
- Unbelievable Gwenpool (2016)
unbelievable gwenpool is Good it’s a Good Comic marvel has just been absolutely massacring the character ever since it ended.
in 2019 the Defiler leah williams took poor gwennie out behind the barn and basically just shot her in the back of the fucking head. we will probably never see the character in any significant or serious capacity ever again :(
- Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane (1958-1973)
culturally important to the medium of superhero comic books As We Know Them Today. also generally batshit insane to an objectively hilarious degree ❤️
+ honorable mention(s): that one green lantern story where hal jordan slipped on a bar of soap and bumped his head so hard he not only was immediately rendered unconscious but then also fell promptly into a coma.
ALSO Blue Beetle (2006) it's been so long that i barely remember what happens in it but i Do Remember that it was Good. i really need to reread the run sometime soon...
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As I’m preparing for the ACOTAR (Re)Read, I’ve been thinking a lot about my first experience reading the series. Namely: I had absolutely no idea what it would be about.
It had been a while since I’d read a fantasy series, and I had purposely avoided finding out much about ACOTAR. By the time I read it, in the summer of 2020, I’d just heard the series mentioned enough on some favorite podcasts that I thought I might as well give it a try. I purchased the entire series shortly after giving my two weeks notice at a horrible job, and read it all during the first slow weeks at my current job. I had not had a reading experience like ACOTAR since I first read the Harry Potter books, where I just wanted to consume it whole. (A few months later, I would be even worse with Throne of Glass — no other series has repeatedly kept me up until four in the morning — because there’s some particular magic in Sarah J. Maas’ writing.)
But going back to how I had no idea what was coming with ACOTAR. I thought, from the titles and some of the early sections, that Feyre would journey from court to court, “leveling up” whatever powers she acquired. I also made some incorrect predictions about who would be important in the books to come, particularly as regards the mercenary who shows up in chapter 3, when Feyre goes to the market to sell the wolf pelt.
In my defense, when you revisit the description, she sounds like she’s going to be important:
And then there was the unknown: a mountain of a woman sitting on the lip of our broken square fountain, without any cart or stall, but looking like she was holding court nonetheless. The scars and weapons on her marked her easily enough. A mercenary…
I approached the mercenary, whose thick, dark hair was shorn to her chin. Her tan face seemed hewn of granite, and her black eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of me. Such interesting eyes—not just one shade of black but…many, with hints of brown that glimmered amongst the shadows. I pushed against that useless part of my mind, the instincts that had me thinking about color and light and shape, and kept my shoulders back as she assessed me as a potential threat or employer. The weapons on her—gleaming and wicked—were enough to make me swallow. And stop a good two feet away.
”I don’t barter goods for my services,” she said, her voice clipped with an accent I’d never heard before. “I only accept coin.”
I was instantly more fascinated by this mercenary than any other character in the novel at this point. She is the only character we’ve encountered who doesn’t fit easily into a fairytale type. And, now that I’ve read all of Maas’s novels, I’m very intrigued by the fact that she’s introduced similarly to many of the male love interests, with her size, eyes, and a face like granite being described. We also see Feyre contemplating her as a potential painting, which she will generally do with characters of significance. She provides us with important information on faeries that propels the narrative and foreshadows future developments. In short, I don’t think it was one of my bad predictions to expect that this mercenary would be important.
Only, this character never shows up again.
Her absence actually becomes more glaring to me as I consider the ACOTAR series as a whole. We will see Feyre exchange her hunting clothes for Illyrian armor and gorgeous gowns. We will see Nesta set aside her sober, modest dresses to don armor. They’re described as beautiful by everyone who encounters them, just as often as they’re described as powerful. Sarah J. Maas has said in interviews that it’s important to her that her badass heroines are not afraid of their feminine sides, and that’s something we see in all of her lead characters.
However, there’s not a character like the mercenary, not even among the secondary characters of ACOTAR, whose lack of outward femininity seems natural, chosen, not a product of fear or desperation. Her life might lead her to happier places or to a found family, but it seems unlikely to me that she would change her style of dress.
I think it’s important that choosing traditionally feminine presentation doesn’t rob women of their power. But I also love reading about women who aren’t necessarily conventionally beautiful or feminine and are just as badass, contented, and loved. Only, it’s much harder to find these characters.
While I fully understand that every author has their central stories, and I think one of Maas’ is that feminine women can also be strong, I still find myself wishing that I’d been wrong in those opening chapters of ACOTAR. That this mercenary had become important. That we’d see her again, this glorious, fearless mountain of a woman, and she’d be thriving.
+ + +
A couple of quick notes:
If you want to join the ACOTAR (Re)Read, you can join the group Discord here. We started yesterday, July 8, and we'd love to have you! You can download the optional series reading plan here.
I started a free newsletter, and subscribers got this essay a day early, along with some exclusive content! You can join them by subscribing here.
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Happy Birthday, Mizuki Kawashima!!
I spent a good amount of time (several months) writing about how I came to became her Producer, and how it had caused irreparable damage to my tantou-related decisions.
Unfortunately, this is also the most I’ve ever written about a single character so... Enjoy.
“I choose who I produce.”
This has been a mantra that has been stuck in my head for a while ever since I’ve decided on a main tantou in Cinderella Girls. And that phrase popped up again when I decided on another CG tantou. For a long time since I got into the franchise in 2018, I didn’t have a no. 1 favorite idol in CG I was fully comfortable with, especially compared with how I found my main favorites in other branches.
I thought I could produce one type or be split between producing who I want… until I fell in love with a certain woman’s charm. This is a story of how I got to that point.
For a bit of background: I have been stuck in IM@S hell since 2018, as I started peeking into 765Pro and Cinderella Girls for a little bit but ended up focusing more on the latter’s shenanigans (and Million Live!, by extension) for a long while. I eventually started looking into more stuff outside of 765Pro in 2019 and gained some favorites from CG, SideM, and Shiny Colors by then. Entering early 2020, I had strong interest towards SideM and Million Live! so much that I focused heavily on these two branches for a good amount of time, but also got further into Shiny Colors and CG up to the point when I even tried all the active mobile games at the time. Alongside that, I started following Cinderella Girls more closely starting with getting into Deresute in April 2020, but I still looked at it from a mostly semi-casual perspective despite considering myself as a multi-branch producer. At some point I wondered if I would ever find a 20+ idol (outside of SideM) that I would gain strong interest in very strongly, in a similar way to what I felt about my main tantou (SideM’s Michio, in that case) by that point.
Here’s the first starting point: it was January 2021, I was peeking at parts of a conversation with some people on Discord. The guys were talking about CG at that time and one of the members posted a then-ongoing thread about her. I couldn’t fully remember what happened after but I looked into the thread and I just… understood. The more I read about her, the more she started to stand out among the idols I’ve been interested in so far.
Messages sent before disaster.
It was later within that month when I decided to just… simply produce her.
Since that conversation, I had been casually producing her alongside the rest of my CG favorites. My tantou lineup kept fluctuating over that year until I eventually stuck with a tantou trio of my no. 1 favorite per attribute: Uzuki for Cute, Mizuki for Cool, and Takumi for Passion.
My memories from that era feel like a blur today, but I remembered listening to her second solo, “Dreaming of you” and it resonated with me quite a lot. A thing I noted to myself was that if a character’s solo gets me interested in an idol in IM@S, this is a warning sign. That had only happened once to me before with SideM’s Michio… and it had happened again there in CG, of all places.
Another point that happened was that I waited for her bridal SSR to come home partially because I wanted to have at least one SSR of my top five CG girls at the time, and I got her after two 10-pulls when her rerun banner finally dropped. It was the first SSR I animated via the Premium Cut Film and I would often see the pink petals flying with the wind and her lovely blue dress flowing in the awakened card illustration. I also vaguely remembered even looking into her Memorial Commus in Deresute at some point later on.
My producing activities in CG were a more casual experience compared to how I treated my tantous in other branches, and I still couldn’t make up my mind on a true no. 1 favorite in CG by then.
Over a year passed by, and the day that could potentially ruin my life came: April 2, 2022, the first day of the CG 10th Anniversary tour's final leg. No one knew who was coming there when the cast list was a surprise until the day itself. I had the chance to watch the whole 4-hour long performance with some friends on another server and saw each voice actress of our favorite idols show up one by one. I watched Ayaka Ohashi (Uzuki) and Yuko Hara (Takumi) appearing excitedly during their respective first appearances.
Then she came on stage. “Orgel no Kobako” started playing. We had already seen the other performer (Chiyo Ousaki, Koume’s VA) earlier, but beside her was the woman behind Mizuki's voice: Nao Toyama.
I was tagged in that server while the other members talked about her during the show. Funnily enough, I didn’t initially know how much of an impact that performance would leave on me, but I did see so much of that brilliance in her stage presence and vocals that I wrote this to the chat and onto Twitter: “I have simply passed away.”
She may have only shown up on the first day but it didn’t matter too much. Both days of those performances went well and everything reaffirmed that I just grew to love the branch even more than before… especially Day 1’s performance.
As the following days passed, things began to sink in. I knew Mizuki had been peeking for a while – both as a character I didn’t look into at first and as a tantou early on – and Naobou’s performance was the final nail in the coffin. Looking back on the past few years up to that point, I just kept hearing people talk about Mizuki and the voice actress behind her in various places, but didn’t see people that truly consider her as a “tantou” among my circles. The days following that night had me constantly pondering why I was mesmerized by her in the first place, even up to the point where I jokingly said that I would be a Mizuki main temporarily due to the brain rot having a strong grip on me. By April 15, 2022, I finally found my no. 1 favorite CG idol and truly called myself a MizukiP.
Over the next several months, I thought of this phrase, “I choose who I produce,” when I reflected back on my tantou choices as I finally brought Kaede from just a regular favorite to a proper tantou. I chose who I produce not just because they appeal to me on the fly or serve, but because enough time was spent for them to grow on me as well, and over time they've left hints and signs that I think that some of them have grown on me over time. At that time, it applied to not just Kaede, but to all of my tantous as well… even Mizuki herself. There were some fleeting aspects and hints that I failed to mention – like how I started playing Deresute 1-2 months after her last event (Gaze and Gaze) happened, how the game’s 5th Anniversary (in which she was included in the lineup) was the first Deresute anniversary I partook in, and a few other things. I finally became a KaedeP and fully considered Tomoe as a fukutan – two idols associated with her that I’ve known since 2018 – partly because of her.
I often looked back at that live performance and thought a lot about not only finding a proper main tantou, but also how much it left an impact on me as a Producer and somehow finding a new favorite voice actress in the franchise (which is another story of its own). Of course, I did have my regrets over not starting things a little earlier, but I am just relieved that I now have a clearer direction in where I want to go with the game and this branch… and with her. More than ever before.
So yeah, I ended up loving and appreciating her more over the past several months up to the point where she could rival my other main tantou, Michio, in many ways. I started out not fully knowing who my true favorite in CG was but now my tantou lineup in this branch has never felt this comfy.
I did finally find my own Cinderella… and I understand, truly. Happy birthday, Mizuki.
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